JAR Media Posdact - Reddit Monkey Strenk - Corncast 31

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 03:18 Comment Barrel 06:35 JAR once again Rule Reddit 13:29 The Eternals Are Finally Revealed 19:04 Anthem is Done 26:44 Halo Infinite Hope 35:20 Mid Break & Patron Names 43:48 Reddit Questions 44:02 Daft Punk Broke Up 50:57 Shaving Area 54:07 Secret Project 55:42 Fly on the wall for a historic event 1:01:46 How would you stop brian from dying? 1:03:13 Monkey Arm Tunnels 1:06:55 Ruben Underdog 2021 1:07:13 Mother Cartoons + James Part 2 1:10:13 Hoovering the air 1:15:44 What does PD look like? 1:18:40 Blame Game Marty Lore

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to episodes. 31 of the Jarm Media Concast. Today we are joined by the entire gang. We are all here. We are all present. And I hope you've had a good week and future week. And hello.

Say hello, boys. Dingle. Did you tell me about that song that was made by Kanye West and Jay-Z, the one where they're in the French capital. What was it called? No, I'm not falling for that one again. You, who, don't you mean,

what do you mean, fell for it, or fall for it? Sorry, you dived right, like, at the opportunity last time I said it. You were like, I was like, what's that song called? You know, Jim didn't say anything. You just made. We were both listening to Watch the Throne,

and you specifically said, what's the third track in Watch the Throne and James just guessed and said it She said it Yeah They didn't even know

It was the third track No I didn't But you know It's not offensive It's okay Well no really Is there any Is it actually problematic

To say the name of that song Because it's a It's actually a name of a song Like is that You could just say N word in Paris N words in Paris You just say that I don't know it's fine

I always just say wiggards in Paris personally that's me That's not the name of the song That's a different song That's a different song That's Wigs in Paris We're talking about a different song

Yeah How long until we get past that point Wasn't it in the first like five minutes It's best to not swear too much In YouTube videos Oh yeah No what I do is I just clip the swears And then reverse the audio

That tends to get past the scanning thing On YouTube Yeah The great YouTube scam complex As I like to call it Scam complex. No, it's probably just a bit confusing to those listening and they just hear, yeah, bleh every now and again.

Well, I'm not, I'm, well, to be honest, out of all the jarlings or jar members, I swear the least, I'm like pretty good of myself. Is that true? No, it's not true. I never swear. I don't know what James is. Um, I think it's time to scrape into the bottom of the comment barrel. How do you guys do about that?

I really don't like that this is stuck around. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's just words of consequences, you know. You can't just throw out a concept like that. We're going to have to fucking, like, put a trademark on it or some shit. Did you see on the Reddit, someone put like a picture of, um, like a pistol, like, uh, head on, staring down the barrel. And they were like, yeah, when you're looking down the, you're coming a barrel. Um, before we get too deep, let me just shout out the patrons over at the Jiam Media Patreon.

Um, we did a little vote to see where the patron section should be moved to if at all. The vote said to keep it in the middle, so we'll keep it there for now. Um, leave your feedback though if you have any thoughts on that. Casino Productions is going to start off the comment barrel. Um, and it goes a little something like this. Ha ha ha, you know, ha. he he ha ha ha um so what they're referencing here is i'm sure you guys didn't pick this up but in the last

episode as i was going through it i kind of spliced in ha ha clips of ray william johnson from that you know the stereotype song has like an opening and an outro where he's kind of talking to the audience yeah you know stereotypes of i've always found stereotypes to be kind of amazing Yeah Here's a little song I wrote about Yeah

So I kind of snuck in the clip So I could put A Feet Puff Puff in the title So it's kind of like an interview But I hope people enjoyed that Yeah Pastor Jim regarding the Patron segment

Says an idea for the patron segment Perhaps you guys can record the segment After the cast Then insert it in the middle Through editing It's to not ruin the flow of the cast as you were recording not sure if this will require too much editing

but it's just an idea you know what Pastor Jim we're way ahead of you we started doing that weeks ago but instead of recording it after we record it first it's the first thing we record and then put it in the middle it cleanses the palette

plat plat plat plat or for the cast and it's like a vocal warm-up too you're just saying words Leo Kirby has a question for you James following on from last week Can James Express his opinion on undertale? Undertail?

Undertail. What's your opinion on Undertale? Well, I've not really played it. It was FNAF last time, right? I think, yeah, it was FNAF. What do you mean you've not really played it? I've not played any undertale at all. I've not, I've only really listened to the soundtrack, and I've just seen stuff of it, but I've never played it myself.

I have, I respect it, and I always will. I guess that's, that's the most I can really say about it. Yeah, it's one I've always, like, been, meaning to play but I just never got around to it. Daryl Barnett can round off this segment. This is regarding the bathroom scales question or topic that briefly came up in the last episode where we mentioned that there was a bathroom scales that could measure bone density. So they said bathroom scales send a very small electric current through your body since bones, fat, muscle, and other tissue

all conduct electricity at a different rate. The scale can then calculate your bone mass. So that's how they do it. That's like a mentor. I want to get myself one of those. Turns out it's not just a couple of spikes that you stick into your feet. It has to touch it to measure it

sort of thing. Well, yeah. Okay, I'm glad we're done with the barrel. It's quite an intense segment. I've got to admit. Just changing the name. just ups the ante but um we're getting some proper

time we have some important topics this week um I just remember one too that I didn't know down Jim you'll know about this yeah how does it feel to be a

a Reddit king Jim fuck yeah um I do feel more complete wait wait wait wait wait do you feel vindicated change the way

you need to say edit alright you just start the sense of edit I actually don't know enough Reddit lingo to do a little bit okay say edit and then just say something about Reddit gold and then

edit funny Reddit gold ugly face so yeah for people that don't know I've been fucking ripped off

some dude is profiting mega Reddit gold off of my funny joke my funny tweet. It's my screenshot. No, it isn't? No, look at the screenshot. It's from the perspective of me. Oh, no, it is from the perspective of you.

Sorry. No, but sorry, the context here is that a picture of Jim's eye message that we tweeted on JAR Media's Twitter like years ago. No, I'm pretty sure I tweeted it on my Twitter because people have retweeted it since, yeah, people have retweeted it since.

it's blown up on on Reddit Oh I assumed I just posted it on the JAR Media Twitter But yeah That probably makes more sense If it is your screenshot But yeah

Three days ago On R slash sad cringe Um The captioned damn With a sad emoji Um User Hayd Z 66 Yeah just to re-uploaded

That very screenshot from your Twitter And it got 13,000 up votes And got on the front page of Reddit so yeah jars sneaking in there into the front page of Reddit yet again you know you got James sneaking into the yogs somehow yeah it's always in the back end just sneaking in there and the the comments are absolutely bizarre too because they're all like from people who don't know like the context at all so like the top comment is can we just appreciate for a second that he Apologized. That's in reference to the actual post was it's like a picture of me smoking a cigar

Um pulling this like bizarre face you look like Gordon Ramsey Yeah, I look like Gordon Ramsey with the remarked the same problem question mark and then you said many problems Jesus no offense bro, but you look fucking awful And then I just replied I was sorry about that bro Yeah, someone in the Reddit comments was claiming to be me. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. Pathetic.

Which is really cringy. And they got some, like, Reddit, like, rewards. Someone gave them a reward, like, um, like the seal or whatever the fuck. I don't know how it works or what the point of that is, but. It's just fucking cringy as fuck. Actually, going out of your way to, like, get clout from someone else's fucking image on Twitter. Like, fuck off. yeah um how do you guys feel about this i mean i don't like it i'm furious this reddit gold

should be lining my pockets and maybe a bit of a bit of your pockets as well alex for in the picture yeah you guys deserve those reddish circles no listen to this the the post the original post on sad cringe has a helpful award a wholesome award a silver award and six hugs award They should be your hugs and helpful rewards. Slash and sad cringe rules. Number one, posts must be sad and cringe. I mean, this is the thing. It should be taken down.

People were accusing the, like, that it was fake. People were saying the image is fake. Like, it was made to go on Reddit on third cringe. which is just a fake you're a fake yeah the way we talk to each other to most people it just like isn't real but no it's it's bullshit this person is

a stolen an innocent funny like both sides I believe in this interaction were having a laugh you know you you took the picture knowing that you look fucking weird really fucking weird and I just addressed a that you looked fucked up in it and it was a little joke between the two of us so I'm

afraid it doesn't not belong on on sad cringe no it doesn't yeah I'm with you but I don't know it's a huge subreddit 931,000 members well then they need better mods I'm afraid damn okay well um in other news I'm about to post an article I'm just going to say so I'm just going to say so what is sad cringe though Sad cringe is stealing another picture to post on the

sad cringe Reddit to get clout that is sad cringe Yeah welcome to Reddit That's a good point Maybe the fact that they had to like steal A laugh between two people To then be interpreted as sad cringe To go on said cringe

That makes it sad cringe That's all of social media though Like on Twitter The equivalent is people who just steal tweets and then they get like hundreds of thousands of likes or whatever it is

yeah it's all just like regurgitating cycles it just makes me wonder like how many images must be out there that you just don't know like what they're being used for and how it's being shared and how without any context

like it is weird to see people interpreting it without knowing who we are because that's how it was probably intended to be seen was just it was on your Twitter you know you have to know who you are but that makes it extra weird because it must have been

what three years ago that I took that screenshot and put it on Twitter so either someone just had that image saved on their phone for like three years or PC or whatever and then like just happened to come across it and couldn't remember where it came

from or they went back through my Twitter three years and saved it. Yeah, either way. Bit of a meme. Bit of a sad cringe. But speaking of sad cringe, actually, let me post this article in the Discord

I need you guys to open, and I hope you haven't seen this yet because I want your genuine reactions. I'll just post the article. So this is Wow News today. photo full costumes revealed for Marvel's Eternals I was actually just looking at it on our subreddit and I thought this is a joke this is a joke it's not a joke so yeah I guess some intern had to Photoshop that together yeah an image of the superheroes of Marvel's upcoming film Eternals has surfaced online so I guess it's like promo art but it is the most bizarre promo art I have seen it looks like a combination of what actually reminds me of the most

is on deviant art people would make these like fan edits it looks like a fan edit like on deviant art like all the faces are like just a bit off they're like not lined up to the bodies properly it's the worst as the kid in the corner that's I was going to say the woman on the bottom right

on the right she looks like her face has just been taken off of it look at the one on the left the little one on the on the left. Yeah, the kid. Yeah, yeah. I had to, when I first saw it, I was like, this looks such, like, such a deviant art,

like, graphic design is my hobby type of it. But then I realized it's actually fucking will. It's a joke. That's just terrible. Honestly, the best looking one is, come on and journey. Yeah, I was going to say that for sure. But there's this, there's this Twitter account.

um i've seen a few times recently called like a terribly made like fake movie posters yeah yeah i've seen it and it looks like that that they've just photoshopped all these actors but don't you find this kind of offensive like they've clearly got this really broad um broadly diverse cast but who do they stick right in the middle white man that's not i thought yeah normal white Game of Thrones, yeah. It's so fucking typical. I thought Angelina Joe Lee was in the movie too. I would just thought they'd sell it on her back.

She's not pictured. I was, yeah, I didn't even know she was in it. Saw in the article, it just said she's not pictured. I don't even know who her character is. I just figure without Angelina Joe Lee, who is the main draw from this cast here? Kamal, obviously. He should have been in the middle.

he's been big news with getting ripped and everything and he's like the only one of these actors that I know unless that's I recognize the the top left guy this whole idea and like looking

at the original comics I like doing that whenever Marvel tries to release their new cool hot IP and then I just go and like Google the original comics and just see how fucking lame like all the original stuff is um yeah this is one i'm really gonna have to wait and see how they're gonna like try and adapt this into something that works but i just have this weird green

lantern vibe off it with the way their suits are kind of like yeah i don't know they don't look like they're wearing clothes it looks like cg and manny kind of i don't know it's all like promo art so it's hard to tell but how many characters one two three four four 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. That's more characters than in the first Avengers movie, and each one of those characters had their own movies. And they're all immortal, too.

They're a race of immortal beings. Jesus. So the film is just going to be boring as fuck. Can I mention how it's a 16-month calendar for 2022? How does that make sense? Is that what this image is from?

Look at the bottom right at the image. A 16-month 2020 calendar. Are we getting a few extra months next year? That's the thing that people do. They give you a few extra months just, you know, to like work out getting a new one in some calendars. Usually like the cheapest, shittest ones will do that. For the more careful people.

There probably are 16 Eternals. I don't fucking know how many Eternals are. It's probably just a number of them. They just keep adding them They never die So I guess it is the equivalent Of the Green Lantern core Yeah I get

It must be Sounds fucking lame though What do they do What do the Eternals do There'll just be like loads of Captain Marbles Just flying around lasering shit Just boring ass fucking

Oh yeah I saw that earlier as well That meme of Hideo Kijima Just talking about films he's seeing You know, he talks In his little, you know, in a little tweet He'll talk quite passionately about some

Some things he liked And then for Captain Marvel was just Saw Captain Marvel for stop I didn't say it was bad But In other news I wanted to bring this up Because

I think it's lull So Anthem is dead They killed Anthem Yay! Which is... What a waste of fucking time that entire project was. Holy shit.

A waste of time and money. And like, going back to that original anthem like reveal trailer and like to do the comments. It's gonna kill destiny this one. Destiny doesn't even want to die. Destiny is just like...

Like, you know, there's... I can't think what it is. I think there's some... You know, like the idea of the warrior who just wants to be killed already. It's just kill me. But no one can beat it. It's just desperate to be killed, but no one can do it.

Ebony Warrior from Skyrim. Fuck you. Anton wasn't level 81 yet. He just couldn't do it. He needed to be level 81. Did you ever try it? Yes, I tried the baby. Yeah, that's the reason I didn't buy the game.

Yeah, I thought it was shit. It really sucked. I don't know why. The thing you need for a live service that's going to be, like, if you're designing a game to be like Destiny, so at release, contentless, waste of money, blah, blah, blah, it has to have good gameplay at the core. So EA was like, right, we need to copy Destiny.

Let's get BioWare. Let's get the guys who've never made, like, stellar gameplay. Can you imagine that? like the conversation where they go to the head of bioware and like you're going to make this and he's just like they're just like i said he but you know they i don't know who they are they can just what it's like when they just got visceral what did they have they had visceral working on some bullshit that they would never want to work on yeah battlefield uh yeah they just closed them

this is the cycle of EA studios they get the studio they make something awesome and original and then they dilute that awesome and original thing until it's just totally fucked so Dead Space 1 awesome Dead Space 2 awesome Dead Space 3 piece of shit third person shoo crap Mass Effect 1

Like good game Mass Effect 2 Masterpiece Mass Effect 3 Good game Mass Effect Entromeda Just fucking bullshit third person embarrassing And then Anthem But they started fucking with Mass Effect

with MassFet 2 and the Cerberus Network and the 3 Yeah, yeah But their tendrils get like deeper and deeper Yeah, yeah And then after all that

Once it starts to look like it's not financially viable like it used to be They just assign that studio To something that they would never fucking make And then once that game obviously doesn't do well Underperforms financially, whatever They just kill them

It's okay, well the studio's dead So Well yeah, imagine shit at the fool from grace by away i've had from the mass effect trilogy in dragon age to then anthem and mass effect andromeda i mean i do think it's a little bit excessive like the fool from grace if i've had considering like mass effect three you know bad ending but the game is like solid and people still like it blah blah blah especially with the citadar thing and then dragon age inquisition like dragon age fans like that i think i'm not actually sure i never could

get into it i didn't i really just don't like dragon age but i don't think it was awful it just don't like it um and then you know they do make they make one bad game and yeah it is really bad but too bad what was the other one what anthem anthem and oh of course of course yeah well but the thing about it is obviously like we know anyone who's you know you do a bit of reading you know that the main team had been assigned to anthem and they were just like we don't want to make this and then they had like the c team making andromeda who were just like we literally don't know how to make this it's just great

great job EA at that time as well EA was forcing every dev to use Frostbite that's right did you see um EA came out and they were like they made a statement

they were planning to have the next Dragon Age be like an online a destiny game and they only reeled it back because of Anthem fucking morons these studios need to realize like destiny occupies the space destiny has has muscled in and now it owns it you can't beat it

you just can't i mean like there again like there are like there are other life service activism wanted to get out of business with them they weren't happy with the relationship but also what the fuck is the point from what i understand dragon age inquisition did well yeah it profited so they have an audience there so why change that to something they obviously don't want. Because the recurring spending. Yeah. It's that recurrent user spending? Yeah, recurrent user spending.

Then you risk it just being Anthem though. Then you get no profit. It makes... Yeah, the Ubisoft way makes more sense. Like, I don't really like it either, but at least they're making single player games and yeah, they have stores and shit, but it's not ruining the integrity of the

basic foundational level of what the thing is. Yeah, the difference with Ubisoft is that their games were actually never good. Yeah, Ubisoft suck. Yeah, so who... Well, actually, I suppose it was quite a big community when Anthem was, like, coming up, and people were talking about it, and they were talking about, like, the lute game, and, yeah, we're actually listening. And I think it was with... I can't remember if it was with Anthem or Avengers.

I think it was an anthem, actually, where the dev team were not allowed to talk. about destiny or like contrast or compare to destiny in any direct way like so i don't know how they could even like broach making the game if they if they didn't even want to try to compare themselves to the contemporaries which they were aping it just it just makes no sense but i was actually shocked when they announced that they were going to try and fix it i just yeah it was too it's too deeply fucked because as you said the gameplay loop was really bad

everyone who's played destiny everyone says the same thing we're like the shooting on a fundamental level feels good you know and well yeah that's like the major difference because

Bungy made Halo the like the franchise the revolutionized console shooters BioWare made a game that revolutionized Western RPGs not not games where it feels really good to just mindlessly kill shit. I feel sorry for By-Ware in that regard.

Yeah, they've been fucked. Totally fucked by year. You just don't seem to understand how to manage any of their assets, any of their IPs. It's no idea what they're doing. From what I understand as well, they had the a bit of the cyberpunk problem. Where when during development, they basically just kept saying, we made the MassFit trilogy. we can't fail right yeah

so that's why andromeda and I mean not the only reason but it doesn't help one of the many reasons yeah in um slightly better news um there was a little bit of

halo infinite stuff dropped the other day um she wouldn't mind ending this first segment talking about did you guys see this yeah let me just send you this

this picture because obviously I I'd seen the screenshots, but when you see a direct comparison, like... So the picture you just sent it at demo reveal, then six months later. Yeah, it's, despite not showing any video, any, anything of the game, actually in motion, I am much more pleased by what I'm seeing from these screenshots and the things they're saying, describing it as a sandbox game, first and foremost, and showing, like, the environments and how the day-night cycle will, affect it I just always feel like that's such it's such a like obvious idea to get as much usage out of an environment as possible because like a more real yeah and like if you're

playing multiplayer maps on like maps that have like day night cycles if you're like replaying an environment over and over again it feels different each time and if they like I don't know how deep they're going with like in the dark do you have to use like a flash flash that would be A flashlight, sorry. I'd like that. That'd be like Halo 1 again. Fuck your way through it. Yeah, so you need to use your flashlight.

There's definitely a lot of potential. And yeah, the look of the game... Yeah, I like how it's the thing we've been saying. Like, it's the first time 3-4-3 with one of the Halo projects seemed to be doing something like ambitious and that hadn't actually been done before in the franchise. Like, yeah. They may just say kind of standard campaigns for 4 and 5 that there's nothing really crazy in there. whereas here we've we've all said it for so long like an open world halo ring you can explore you know if properly if implemented the right way and it not just being destiny could be super fun

because that that is still my big fear that like they've gone to the effort making this huge map but the way if you interact with it if it is just a straight line kill and a bunch of enemies that spawns and then follow the line again type design of like those MMO lights yeah that would be really disappointing because there's so much potential for like story stuff and I don't think so because yeah I have more hope because of what they've shown already yeah they keep saying about the story well yeah that they've obviously I mean they've they've got like you can interact with the environment they've already shown you can interact the environment in a more meaningful way than you can in destiny

you know you have a grapple hook instantly instantly you know that obviously they're going to be thinking how the fuck can we make the master chief use the grapple hook we need to come over every way that a player would want to use a grapple hook and we need to put it in the game that isn't that isn't something that you see in destiny not to like shit all over destiny

because destiny does what it does and it does it fine does it well even but I think just with the grapple hook and the idea that they're thinking about the spaces and a they're thinking about it in a 4D chess kind of I guess I'm more concerned about their thought process and how they're going to reward the player because I guess that's my biggest destiny fear is because I really don't really like the way you're rewarded for playing that game

whereas I like the kind of simplicity of the original Halo idea where kind of the rewards are just finding weapons on the map and the 30 seconds of fun and if it's if it becomes like yeah finding different weapon variants and like mods and pickups and shit i don't know how halo that would be but again it's all conjecture because they haven't really revealed that much but what do you think jim my main hope it this is how i've felt since like the beginning but that microsoft has so much riding on this yeah they really need it to do well because they don't have anything that can compete with any one of Sony's exclusives

they've got game but it can't just do well either it needs to actually be good game has to be fucking that's what I mean that it yeah it needs to be equivalent to like God of war you know it just has to be a quality game it it shouldn't be about

making the the mega code bucks it should be about releasing something that like actually leaves an impact. I just find it shocking how little kind of support the Halo franchises really got. Like it got more like experimentation from when Bunchy originally had it where they made like Halo Wars 1. You really would expect when like three for three took off that they would be like having multiple projects on the go. It's like the A got Star Wars and did fuck all with

that. What is it about like this this total apathy that you seem to see now in the games industry? huge license gets handed to you yeah and then what you do nothing with it is they're just like um well you know we got this so we have halo let's make cod i mean i i think this is better than if we'd have just started getting yearly halos like my point is if this was the plan yeah it's just like what the what's the plan yeah they keep talking no because um they've talked about how like they wanted Halo 5 to be like a spin-off game but that

like became Halo 5 like they wanted to do kind of spin-off projects like OBST style stuff. Yeah whereas it seems like they're trying to build like a foundation that would be easier to expand on in some way I don't know it just seems

crazy that they wouldn't be doing more with the property it's like it's like dead James has been saying it for years like it's It's been dead for a long time They really should have made Halo 5 a spin-off though Calling a Halo 5 makes it so much worse Halo Guardians or some shit

Yeah It'd be easier to ignore too Because did you see in the article They had like a bit of a story tease thing With like an audio clip that had like Chief talking about Cortana And

I didn't see that Was it good? Is it worth listening to or Kring and Best Left Alone? um i'd say it's worth listening to if you're into the the kind of hype cycle stuff they start doing because they're actually teasing like the the halo five side of the story with the evil cortana thing and that she has some control over the ring or whatever

so we'll see um i'm feeling a bit better than i did before i'm just we need to see it in motion and we need like a multiplayer reveal i think before i do wish they don't had this way of showing it off the whole time we're just like we monthly update yeah bimonthly updates or whatever of just screenshots and letting us know I will say yeah I don't really have the fear of um the game like looking really ugly and running bad yeah it definitely looks like it's gonna look kind of great actually yeah especially because the

game still has like a real long time I'm sure they're gonna make it as smooth as possible Did you see that they said that they finished all the content that's going to be in the game? Like it's all, it's all done. Yeah, yeah. It's just then polishing everything. So that's interesting. Good, maybe. Anything, James, before we go into the mid-break?

No, that's pretty much everything's said. Like, I'm not... I've lost faith in Halo, so I just want the product to speak for it. If the product is good, I will have faith. but I'm not going to look anything because we should have learned by now just don't look at anything like cyberpunk just

get to the end product and have an opinion don't go into it. No, I think it's fine to look at stuff and like what they're saying about the game but it's more manage your expectations you know. Well, the best thing about Microsoft exclusives now is that if you have game pass anyway

you can download something when it comes out try it for an hour or whatever and then just uninstall it if it sucks. Yeah, okay. And on that note, we'll see you after these. You get your monkey strength. Welcome to the part of the show, where we go over and thank our patrons. Over a Patreon for the lovely support.

Big thanks to White Jacob, Ruben eating crunchy ice. Oh my God, so true, bestie. We live in a society where I fought stereotypes were kind of ridiculous. Hot A.I. Booty Mendicin Bias. Do-Doo-Roo. Clunge Bob Spunk Trunks. Ew. Ah. Yeah. Ooh. Look what you've done to my bloody shed, man.

That's a good one. Subscribe to Clostle is Crazy. Will you be the pisser punani to my pisser dick and make me the happiest man on earth? Crash Punk. David Bowie died a day before the first childcast. He then went on to be reborn as dick the head. Change my mind. Schnaught.

Minga Dinger, Wingatung, molesting a child in Sweden gets you seven days in prison, see you in a week, guys. If you change that to Swindon, it's as believable. Minge for eyes, fancy Nancy, sucking on James' fat milkers, little duckie, big chungus, William. God, Dibby, I'll be anything for you. God, Dibby, just tell me what you want me to do. C3PO's Long Golden Slong. In the face, face shot. brains everywhere, not the knee, not the arm, not the spine, face, it has to happen. I forgot to change my name for like four weeks and I'm shitting myself, Ruben will shout

at me. Salad 543? There existed an addiction to squash. Right, what the hell kind of name is pisser dick, eh? How to Muppet like you pass election? Adam McBride, Krusty Kamakaze. If James is pisser dick, who is shitter arse? I used to be a jarling like you, but then I took a witty to the bum, or a bit rude of you to comment on me 25 bollocks in it for a very

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Listen to sound Ancestors Master Chief You mind telling me What you're doing With that blimp Do I hate Jars bars

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Thanks for the support, everyone. Arro-ro! Welcome to the Ro-R-R-R-R-R-R-P part of the cast, where we answer Ro-R-R-R-Ros from the Jjar community over on our subreddit, head over to the suggestion thread and ask us whatever you like. Yorn Mel is going to start us off with a sad one.

Any thoughts on Darth Punk's breakup? I'm personally sad to see it happen as there's my favourite band. but all good things must come to an end I'm fucking heartbroken boy yeah I wasn't expecting it I'm fucking upset

because there's only there's one thing in my life I would destroy my entire future for one thing and that's seeing a live life they did it fucking twice in how many years nope

20 never happening just fuck yeah I was that was always like a dream in my in the back of my mind but the more realistic one was yeah maybe you'll get at least one more Darth punk album before I die just one more

that's what I was hoping for just maybe one this is the bullshit thing though because I don't know if I'm like still in the stages of grief because in my mind

like it the possibility of there someday being another album or song or something just something like it still exists in my head that it's a possibility so I would have preferred to just hear nothing

no yeah I think like it's like Halo like in my mind Halo's been dead Darth Punk's been dead since RAM if they just did no news at all that would have been much better to me because I just assumed they're dead anyway well yeah it reminds me a bit of

like guerrillas after plastic beat And it was like some argument that went down and it just seemed like they would just never make anything ever again. But then years later, something comes of it, but I don't know if I can really see that happening here. So what has actually happened? Because I've heard things saying they've retired make sense and I've heard they've broken up. What's the deal? Art Punk as a project is over for the time being.

You could see them reunite. some years to come but I would say at least a decade would pass before we saw something like that maybe even two I mean the two guys they'll continue probably to do whatever they do you know they

they're going to stop making music ever you know it's what they do it's like their passion so I'm pretty sure Thomas is going into being a director oh really? Yeah did you watch the final video the epilogue yeah it was made up of the shots of their movie

the one they directed. Really fucking boring movie. It's nothing. There's nothing there, but really cool visual things. And that's what you've seen on our YouTube videos and whatnot. Classic, pretentious French bullshit right there, man. That's the way they do it. Yeah, maybe it's a good thing they broke up. Yeah, I was kind of hoping it would be like just one final song or something.

Yeah. But no. it has made me go back and listen to a bunch of their songs and like fucking hell no no one did what they did like to the the quality of them unbelievable music yeah yeah it's whenever i put on ram i just appreciate the actual like audio quality just how high quality the like recording is no that that's an interesting uh wikipedia read oh really yeah on that album because they went all out like it it was just sort of designed to be the peak of sound mm-hmm so what's our ratings then on all of the albums damn you're just going to drop that on me right now I've got an answer already I've got more a live 2007 um discovery

human after wall ram and then homework not a based answer at all not at all based a live is the best album easy and you know this even because he spoke about this you know that not based not based discovery's

top tier we all know that um i don't think i can it's just sort of like you know all of their albums are like S tier yeah that's a thing they're all incredible

human after all it's like I don't know massively different things I can't compare the homework is like a classic well I don't know

I guess it's like French house of the 90s yeah Discovery is kind of still that but moving a bit away from it and incorporating like a bit I don't know

I guess there's like some disco elements to it human after all like a total like techno album Live is just a fucking amazing live album And then they make a soundtrack Tron And that's good

And the only The only redeeming thing about the film Is their music And their music makes me want to watch the film Then I watch the film I'm reminded that it sucks And it's really boring But their music's really good

So it's kind of tough that They need to do the cut of that movie Where all of the sound is taken Outside from the soundtrack Yeah I'd watch that I would definitely watch that. And then Rana Max's memories. It's like the homage to the music which inspired the genre that then inspired them to make music within that genre.

You know, because obviously disco led to a lot of the shit that they were sampling for everything. It's like a circle. They've completed the cycle there. It's all done. Actually, when you see all of the albums in a line like that, it does actually see. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm just circling my mouse around. No one can even, I was just circling my mouse. like gesturing as if anyone can see it but yeah man it's a complete project it's

over Darth punk man they did it came they saw they made the best shit and then they fucked off yeah could be worse I suppose could be like they could have died you thing yeah they could have died that would suck I think about that sometimes like what if freddie mercury was like alive and was just kept making music that whole time be cool what if he is one of the daft punks yeah he did the vocals on

human after all on technologic god guys I just had a sip of Coke zero fucking sucks compared to Pepsi Max Jorno pizza has one for us I was shaving my balls while listening to the latest episode

and I have to say it was an exquisite experience hearing all of your silky smooth voices while making my balls look dashing was the highlight of my day my ball shaving experience has never been that good before we are really funny and the trouble is if you're shaving and we make you laugh too hard you might slip and slice your nut sack open and I just don't want to hear I thought that's where it was going to be honest with you say I cut myself um the question part though my question is um

well there was a question which which madagascar character is each part of the male penis Left ball, right ball, shaft and head All right, so this is simple, this is simple The left and right ball are Gloria and Melman Wait, which is whipped though Because I'm thinking left ball is Melman No which you know everyone has like one ball that droops down Which one is the drooper?

But the droopy one's glorious Yeah, it's Gloria, yeah So whichever one that is I guess it changes depending on who you are And then the shaft is is Marty because really he's he makes up the bulk of what it you know of the funny in that film you know Marty and then at the head

what do you mean that you mean those I don't know I disagree there I think of the second one when I think of Madagascar as a whole I think of Madagascar too he gets like the least screen time in Madagascar too he's like he's funny in it though when he is in it

yeah Alex is the shaft yeah like no no Alex is the head of it because he gets all the glory yeah like a main as well yeah but the shaft is what sort of really and he's a sensitive little pussy too yeah exactly exactly

who's the foreskin no but where's the foreskin of all of this I don't like that that's just penis one in cyberpunk and I'm not interested in it I don't remember which way around it is I played the game when it came out I guess it's America

I haven't gone back since um Alex Sandgren actually replied to their comments saying A, I've also listened to them While shaving my balls So I guess it's a bit of a trend Going around town They just listen to us in the shower, I guess

I've never bothered listening to a podcast in the shower I always figured the voices would get sort of drowned out By the water where music can kind of punch through The sort of frequencies that voices are on I kind of figured it wouldn't do it Do you sing in the shower? I sing in the rain Not often

But you do On occasion On occasion but usually it's early in the morning when I'm having a shower and you know I don't want to sing that's the best time for singing that's when the birds are doing it I can barely keep my eyes open I close my eyes to wash my hair and I'm like I could just stand still and go to sleep here you know forget it James do you sing in the shower yeah I'm fucking grooving I'm fucking sticking the hose pipe up my ass just fucking going on it you know

I sing I sing gravity hurts in the shower every morning Samana Boni says In a bunch of older episodes You lot Especially Alex kept on hyping up A super secret jar project in the works Are you still making it If you aren't

Which would be my guess Then you can finally inform us What your grand plan was For said project We're not making it We can't It's impossible to finish It's not sure

Wait Is this Wait which project is this this is EC oh this is EC you know yeah yeah no no just we don't need to actually explain this because um they don't deserve to know but um I will say going back to that side cringe post the EC was actually on that upvoted sad cringe uh GR picture thing the secret has been hiding in plain side for a long long time yeah but it's never happening though never say never well

it's not around anymore is it well no we know we know we know no James no more Princess Leia died and she was still in a movie when we get a big enough budget yeah we'll just get the Disney effects team yeah we have enough um footage anyway for an effective deep fake if we download some software. I'm moly we can deep fake that you see on to James James can play the UC son of Julius Caesar has one for us

if you could be a fly on the wall to any historical event what event would that be? Personally I think it would be really cool to go back in time and just watch a day in ancient Rome thanks boys love the Yogs Pogs cringe that's not a

historical event I want to point out that's too broad for my liking yeah that sucks shit answer so we're not answering your question mine would be watching the first dinosaur egg hatching okay

why if I'm allowed to be a fly wouldn't you want to discover some some truth to something yeah to see a dinosaur with my own eyes my own fly eyes what truth is that this. What truth? What to see them like walking around and like moving? It would be like

So you don't necessarily believe that dinosaurs are real? No, I believe they're real. I just think it would activate fight or flight to see them moving around. Oh, that'd be terrifying. Imagine that. Just being a pathetic little homo sapien looking at a fucking dinosaur.

I had, the moment it all clicked and came into place was, I was on like some family holiday with Jim and my other family. I think we're at the Eden Project, which is like this place in Cornwall,

where they have all these like these domes with all these different environments. They're like big greenhouses basically. And in the dome that was like the kind of desert environment, they had this like guy dressed up in this costume.

This like weirdly good like dinosaur dress up costume thing. And it was like running around the dome and I saw it like running around and it did trigger like the fight or flight thing in my mind

like just seeing like a huge bipedal monster because this guy's wearing like leotards black leotards and his legs are attached to these fake dinosaur legs but you don't notice his real

legs at first so it just I thought like some dinosaur had just turned up you know some egg was in the Eden project and it got too warm in there or something it genuinely was like you see it out the corner of your eye

you look at it and then your heart sinks and you're like it's time to kill or time to fucking bolt yeah your ape brain just can't yeah yeah of course I want to experience that as a fly especially

yeah James I feel like you have an interesting one to what fly on the war on any historical event this is this is a hard one because it's just like there could be things that are like important

I know what I mine would be I'm trying to think I've got an obvious answer but that's what's yours then Rubin I'd want to be there the day before the library of Alexandria got fucking destroyed and I'd read I'd read I'd look around I'd be flound the wall

in every goddamn wall and then maybe hang around for when they burned it down just have a look to see what's going on, aliens, that kind of thing. You see my mind

goes immediately to conspiracy theories. Yeah, no, I'm going down that part because I'm like, it would be really interesting to know who actually

killed JFK. Yeah, that is the one my mind with you're watching the guys. Was it Mason? Yeah. It was actually words.

Yeah, who was it? Can you imagine, like, you go there to see, and it is Mason? What do you do? What is your response to that? Like, I think I'm going to kill myself. I think I'm

a conspiracy now. You couldn't tell anyone because they just think you're fucking lazy. I swear, it is Mason guys. And Hudson turns up at your door. No, but also, that guy,

Bob Lazar, check out what the fuck he was doing if he actually saw some aliens or if he was just, like, cracked out or something. That would be interesting as well, yeah. Alex, you run the risk, though, if you do the dinosaur one. If it, it, like, comes out the egg, and it just looks like so fucking lame

like we got the we got all the fossils just totally wrong and they just dinosaurs just fucking sucked how bummed hell would you be no because that's a joke isn't it where like you you don't know what the the fat density is

because it's just bones or not even like real bones that are left I think it's really cool those like artists have drawn T-Rex and feels like a fat bird Yeah That to me looks kind of awesome Kind of scary

I haven't seen this That's a tear X if it's a fat bird Well yeah because they're little hands They're kind of wing-like You know like if a Imagine if you had a penguin skeleton And you had no idea what a penguin looked like What kind of animal would you imagine

To go on that skeleton I guess they don't have teeth but it makes a big difference Jim was it you I was telling about the yellow penguin the yellow penguins yeah yeah yeah yeah they found a yellow penguin

was it nice um it was all right Spacekeeper 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 says if you had one chance to save him how would you stop Brian from dying. I put Stewie in his stead.

I put Peter. Peter? No, not Peter. No, I hate Peter. I would have it so that the house next door was having an extreme home makeover and we would have a really big bus block

in the road. And when tie something than or other, it's getting everyone to say move that bus, I'd shoot him in the head, and then it'd be chaos. The bus would probably try and turn around, and it would be all crazy. The car that's going to hit Brian wouldn't hit him.

We'd hit the bus. Damn. Maybe kill some children, but Brian lives. That's the main thing, I think. Or Stee could become Darth Vader and learn to stop people from dying. Go down that path, you know? I don't mind that very much. What, Darth Stewie? What's wrong with that imagery?

I'm so lame. That's already a thing, though. Fuck, I forgot. Yeah, the family guy movies. I thought that's what you were alluding to you. I'd actually just forgotten that they did that. Fuck, sake. Max 09, Willow 24 has one. A really weird one.

Lads, I need some help. Recently, my mate told me that when he was seven, he saw a monkey's hand and arm in a soft play area coming out of one of the tunnels. After he saw it, it dashed off. Now this sounds stupid, but when you take into consideration that around this time there was a monkey spotted in the area, it sounds like it could have happened. Or it might just be some weirdo in a monkey costume. This has not left my mind since he told me, since I worship the almighty jar gods,

please tell me if you think he's speaking the truth. then he replied to it saying this is ruining my life well I'd say it's bullshit because kids only bullshit yeah I mean I bullshit it a lot as much as I would love

let to be a monkey I just don't think that was man I'm sorry I think you'd need to hear the seven year old out hear their side of it you know kids they're they're very honest so I reckon if he if he genuinely saw one

and you like could make the case for it. Maybe I'd believe it. But yeah, I don't know. It could be a tricksy little monkey himself, you know. You've got a question. How would the monkey get in the tunnel of the bull pit? Well, that's not really much of a concern to me because I just think about like boomerang and all that lot

and just the monkey in there would wreak havoc. How would you ever get it out? I think the weirdest thing in this question is that like he said that other option is that it was a person in a monkey costume Yeah, yeah That's the Laying motionless for hours on end Just hiding in like a bullpen area

It's like getting covered in like piss and shit Honestly out of those two options I think it's more likely that there was a real monkey Yeah, I would sooner the monkey than a human being Someone like Made a realistic monkey costume and went to a kid's play area

and was just like running around. Just to taunt seven-year-olds. No, but you got to question how a monkey won't just get into a bull pit. Why? They'd fucking love a bullpit. He didn't say bullpits, they didn't he? He said it was a tunnel.

He said it was a kid's play area, right? Like a soft play area. Some of the areas are pretty dank and tucked away. I could imagine there being a little monkeys there. No, but the thing is, if a monkey's gone loose in the area, it's not going to be able to get through any pipework because it's all like gated off. It'd have to walk through the front door

and if it said that someone would sit... Well, look, because they're only like... It would put on an elaborate disguise. You know, he'd have a little hat and a trench coat, yeah. Yeah, and he would just walk in. I'm thinking like he takes the air vent or something. He climbs a pipe, gets up to the top,

goes through an air vent. They can't. Dark work ventilations are all sealed up on the other side you and be able to get through. Well, James, have you ever heard of the term monkey strength. Have you ever heard of I fitted dot work

and I know where it goes I can tell you a monkey... So they're designed you've clearly never heard a monkey strength you've clearly

never heard a monkey strength monkey strength monkey strength I would say it was an imagination because I saw ghost as a child so it's probably

an imagination monkey strength you are you need to take monkey strength into a into a cat I can't do it anymore.

It's all going wrong. Oilholic has one for Ruben. Can Rubin still do his underdog Joe Pascuali impression? It's been far too long. What? This one? Underdog. Get your monkey strength. Try it short.

We have a brilliant one that's directed at James. James, I'm going to need you to have, like, your phone ready with, like, Google images, okay? Yes, I've just popping up Google. So, Pass Force Worldwise, says, could James please give us a part two for cartoon Milfs from the list below? Okay. So we need your, um... What? Okay, okay.

I think of... I'm trying to remember this topic. It was like months ago. We collected all the famous TV show Milfs. Like, you know, your Marge Simpsons, your Louis, Louis, Louis, Lewis Griffins, just to hear James's, um, wouldn't he? Where did Lois come in the mouth? I'm pretty sure it was low. No, you said yes to Lois.

I know, I did. Lois is a haughty what you did come about. He was just yes or no, right? Yeah, yeah. So these are the new ones, James. I need to answer. Okay. So the first one is

Timmy Turner's mum That would be from failure of parents No No Um Yes that's a fucking straight yes God damn I've got to keep up with this

Yeah I'm keeping up As well Um So that's a yes For Timmy Turner's mum Really Yes Yes

Okay You're forgetting He's the Milfantus What about Kyle's mum from South Park? I'm just, I'm fucking spelling mistakes everywhere. What's her name like something, bro? No, that's a hard no. That's a hard, bar.

The aunt from Big Hero 6. That's a fucking, yes. Mrs. Incredible. I don't know. Mrs. Incredible. Yeah, I'm trying to spell it. You know what Mrs. Incredible looks like. Come on.

Yeah, obviously. That's like the definitive cartoon Mulf. Yeah. So that's a yes, obviously, yeah? Yes, obviously. Peggy Hill? Peggy Hill is that? Hank Hill.

No, that's a... No. Any others or was that the last one? Um, last one, the mum from Dexter's lab. That's also a no. Okay, so you said yes to Timmy Turner's mum, but not... Yes. Okay.

There's no logic to the mill phatings, Jamie. It's a... you just know it, okay? Um, Mumbo Bumbo. has the most, maybe the most fucked up question now I've ever, ever snagged for this. Hi Jal, so my question is, if you had a really smelly room, could you remove the smell by hoovering the air? Like holding the hoover up at the mostly smelly areas.

I'm asking this question because I've been farting like mad lately. Change of diet to achieve effect. He added in parentheses and was wondering, would you need a window open to reload the air or would the smell particles be destroyed by the movement of the hoover? You need to reload the air. Reload that air. So they're saying their room smells because they change diet.

Like the smell is just staying. They said the implication is that they changed their diet to achieve an effect the effect being that they wanted to fart a lot but now they have a new problem you've got to reload yeah that's it you've got to open the windows because your parts are going to stick to the curtains in the car

but you're going to fill that room a fart and it's going to be a fucking mess you're going to have to open some windows I'm just picturing someone's standing in a room farting and then vacuuming up their parts are a easy solution easy solution

a solution solution fart but have a vacuum came on like under your ass at all times so just just yeah you got to start vacuuming the area then fart it's preemptive that would work yeah what you do is you and do it while you're laying in bed

so you can trap all to the fart gas and then if you breathe it all up you know you're just getting rid of it all holy shit no I know I know where this guy is coming from because I had a fucking kebab yesterday and my farts can kill people right now just have to do you

reload the air? Yeah, reload the air constantly. You know, get a few diffusers going.

Yeah, but you, you, that smell should never linger. What if the fart smell? Yeah. It shouldn't.

Like, if you don't have a vacuum cleaner handy. What if you fart and you're sat down on like a thick blanket? When you move, the fart,

you know, you get a bit more of it, don't you? You know? Like if you're let in bed, you've got the duvet over. You fart. There's some fart trapped under the bed

Yeah, it's fucking disgusting And if you keep farting Eventually the room just stinks a farts Just smells a fart Yeah, whenever I go into Whatever room Argy's been in That shouldn't last longer No, don't talk about Argy

Agi's not a good example Unless you're like on a spaceship He's a disgusting little beast He ate four Oreo like eggs the other day I had like a pack of them in my backpack that I'd left in

by my desk and he got in the room and opened my backpack and opened them and ate them all why is he so fucked up can you imagine that even four of those in a couple minutes it's fucking Alex's reaction to

every time like he does something fucking ridiculous and it's just like there's like there's just like fear in the laugh almost

oh there's definitely fear no the first time he did that I was concerned because obviously chocolate's awful for dogs um

and the whole allergy side of it those are your eggs like I could only barely eat two in a sitting because they're fucking really strong they're so chocolatey

they feel sick How could he just destroy two and not feel anything? No, we have four. Four? Yeah. He's fucked up. No, but it's weird because no matter what happens, he finds food. Even if you put it in the most bizarre place, he finds it and he just fucking eats all of it.

He's a fucked up dog. The other day, I had some meal that had like, obergine and, um, uh, What's the horrible... Corgette. Corgette, yeah. I had corgette in it as well. So there were a couple chunks of like corsette left over on my plate.

And I left it there, like in the coffee table. And when I came down in the next morning, he hadn't touched it. And I was like surprised. I was like half leaving it there as a test to see if you would even try, considering that it's not like, He loves cheese, so if there's no cheese involved, I figured he wouldn't really be interested, but it wasn't there when I came down in the morning, but then, uh, within the space of like 15 minutes, he'd, like, just eaten it.

Like, it's like he waited for me to be around and be, like, wary of it before he ate it so he could, like, purposefully annoy me. That's weird. Yeah. He's trying to get a reaction. That's what he's doing. He's, yeah, he's, like, trying to piss me off. off or something, okay? Vibrating Pablo has up an ultimate one.

If piss a dick was a person or a living thing, how would piss dick look like? Could someone provide a sketch? I like to imagine your conversations in my head and would like verified draft or what piss a dick would look like, of what piss a dick would look like.

Also, if James is pisser dick, what would he be wearing with his particular costume blue jumper white sort of shirt I think under it I want to say a pair of blue jeans

possibly some sunglasses and a hat was it purple I thought it was a blue one the shirt was blue the shirt was okay yeah and there was definitely sunglasses like a hat a hat was it the way was it the son of cat

it was a son of cat sunglasses. Why did you wear all that stuff, James? Wait, when in the two? Why did you wear all that? Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop. I wobble those things. Wait, I did this.

Your piss of dick. When, no... When did piss of dick become a thing? It was New Year's Day. It was New Year's Eve. It was New Year's Eve. It was a fifth. I thought it was, it was like, at New Year's. It was like, we were together because it was New Year's.

Yeah, on New Year's Eve, right? Or had it tipped over into the next? I'm not sure if it had gone past, I guess it hadn't gone past midnight, because James wouldn't have been so loud being Pissadoo. My memory's gone. I thought Pissadik was just a jar joke. I didn't know this is like an actual thing like from before, but I did. Yeah.

Yeah, you admitted it. You're fucking with my mind. Why are you doing this? You make this a dick. We've actually convinced them. This isn't funny. This is how the CIA did it. This is how they do it. You genuinely... Do you not remember though, James?

Shut up! No! This is the next Black Oats game. Why can't you remember? You went through a red door, and then you put on a blue jumper. And sung... I hate you. You're be using my sleep-deprived mind.

James, well. got one more question then um is this about shitar no unfortunately it's not about shitter us um

but it is about something equally as important they say is the song blame game by Kanye's most beautiful dark twisted fancy

part of the Madagascar law due to it featuring Marty on the outro is Kanye, in fact, playing the role of Melman and trying to contact Gloria only to

find out she dates Martu. Um. Um. Every time I listen to that song, I do get good laugh at that bit. So fucking terrible. Do you not like it?

Ah. Uh, I just can't deal with it. Oh, man. Because you go from this, you know my easy taught me you know you go from let's play to blame

game I love you and you know they sort of not a sentimental but kind of dramatic instrumental

I was in pussy town you know it's just fucking stupid yeah but don't you just picture Marty you're like easy

taught me was that question specifically for James yeah just for James? Um, I knew he'd like it. Well, James, we're waiting.

Yeah. I've never listened to it. I should say you'd like it more because of it. To say that, we can all move on. You've never heard blame game, James. Have you never listened to that album? No, that's...

I... No, there's only one good song on it. Which is? Stronger Thank you for watching this episode of the exact motherfucker I want it Thank you for watching this episode of the Charmedia podcast I hope you had a good few funnies Let's take it away

You get your monkey strength