JAR Media Posdact - Rico/Dave/Brian - JARCAST Episode 165

Episode Date: May 6, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the JAR podcast, the JARCast. That's what we are. I'm your host, Alex, joined by James to my right, and to my other right, Jamie. There's only one, right. We are both to my right. Yep. I'm white one, what Jim is white, too.

This show is made possible by the patrons over at Patreon. Thanks for the support. It makes the show possible on iTunes and Spotify and all the places. Shout out to all those listening in Texas. I just happen to look at the statistics on the podcast thing we use. And there just happens to be a lot of people in Texas who listen. Shout out to the Texas. Howdy, partner.

Yehah! That's what I can say to that one. And also shout out to the people who've been buying our shirts and mugs and things, which you can find. of the video and whatnot. And they are epic. Or in the description. This is episode what, 165?

Yeah. Not a palindrome. I don't know. What's a palindrome? I don't know. It's too late. This is an episode we all have things to be angry about. Do we?

We all have things to be furious and fuming about. Alex definitely does. Yep. What's your thing, James? You start us off. So, once upon a time, there was three lads. And they decided to go to Lando's. So they drove all over to their nearest city, parked up in a car park.

And at this car park, you've got to buy a parking ticket. That's the most. Yeah. She went over to the machine, these lads. They put in their two pound. they put the registration in and they took their tickets they took their ticket and they put it in their car like you should

after enjoying their nandoes and their dessert caspers they went back to the car and found a parking charge for not displaying a correct ticket you got your first parking ticket yep I got my first parking ticket today and it's 100% your fault

you put i okay i made it is bullshit i will no it is 100 cent bull bullshit but you put but but every single person always does that

yeah no to me it's like did they think you were scamming the system by having a a parking ticket from like weeks ago and that's the one that you use did they i'm pretty sure you like regularly park there

and you just use the same ticket every time. But there was cars literally besides us that didn't even pay it for a ticket. But mine, out of the only car in the car park, got a parking charge. They stuck this big sticker on your car. I thought somebody

had put some, like, uh, gummy bears on the windshield. Yeah, I thought it was just like a troll thing. But what makes it worse is that this specific, this particular parking lot, parking place,

You can do your parking ticket online. You log on to the website, buy the ticket, and they know. So surely their scan, however, would have something where you put the reg in, it shows that the person's paid. To buy the ticket, you had to put your registration in already. So it's on record somewhere. Exactly. But they didn't bother checking, and then they gave me a charge.

So when I inevitably get this charge from a door, I'm just going to instantly call them, and I'm going to give them very firm words of anger. Call them the F word. No, I'll say... Call them the F word and then insult them based on their gender. Wait, just so we can clear the air right now. Calling someone the F word is calling them a...

If I had balls, I would say it. Say it. Fuck. So you're calling someone fuck? Listen here, you fucker. Roll play time. Listen here, you fucker, you gave me a parking charge and I bought one of your bloody tickets.

What do you have to say about that? Do you guys understand my confusion, though? Yeah, the F word is in the homophobic slur. Yeah, I just wanted to... We don't use that on the jar cast. No, of course not, but that's why I wanted to just clear... I literally never use that word. Because we don't have...

One of us isn't gay, so we don't have a pass to use it. Like we do the N-word when Reuben's around, we just... We just vomit out the N-word. I don't. I haven't said in literally months. I don't ever say that word. When you're singing along to a hip-hop song that has the N-word in it, do you say the N-word?

Yes, because I'm respecting the song. I change it. I say Wigger. I say Wigger. You learned that from me. Thank you very much. No, but it's just like... It's not like I'm standing in front of a stage singing them while the artist is on stage.

I'm literally in my car. This is how I live my life, right? in any instance even if I'm in a room by myself I'm always considering how would this look on camera how bad would I look and I would feel less guilty like with my headphones in just listening to some hip hippity hoppery beats

and you just hear me going yeah yeah wigger wigger talk about a real less wigger exactly that sounds much less bad then it would just Yeah Like at that funny scene In The New Avengers

Which I won't spoil any context to But there's like a character Listening to music Yeah and he says the N word Yeah he says the N word And then he calls someone there The bad F word Yeah

Woo! That movie Destroyed boundaries We never even talked about that And we never talked about the fact That last episode We recorded for 15, 20 minutes

And just never And lost it Yeah It was good that we didn't talk about that though Because then we would have been more pissed off Yeah I mean No but this is the pissed off cast We all have things to be pissed off for that

And now we're going into what In fact I feel really good No Okay so two thirds of us then Yeah the less important part But the reason I'm annoyed Is because As I say last episode

We lost the first 20 minutes of a jar cast Which were very funny And full of fleshlight antics and whatnot we lost it because our audio interface just stopped recording for some reason my mic specifically no no it was everyone's there was no audio recorded oh yeah we always do a mic test before we start to avoid this very thing from happening and then you were you just happened to look at the audio blah blah blah and it wasn't recording and then we did another mic test and two of the mics were working but mine wasn't yeah yeah it was so confusing so through

the process of elimination we figured out all the mics are fine all the cables are fine it's just that audio interface has one input that's kind of weird yeah and as a result it's scary using that one because you really don't know what's going to happen any time which led to us like okay we've had that one for many years I guess since the jarcos started to be honest I haven't replaced it since then it's tanked this way so it's good yeah it's been a good little reliable machine up until now but I went ahead and got a new one different brand focus right brand i've been using for ages um because i've got a couple different audio interfaces but i got this one the claret for pre usb um not familiar with it but i figured because the

the company's normally reliable with the audio stuff um it would be good so i got this new box and i was like this looks nice it's a better form factor than the old one it looks smart plug all the mics in and then I just can't get it to record more than one mic at a time and I just can't figure out why. So we're currently recording this childcast on the older, more risky one because I can't figure out how to get the claret for pre-USB to work. And I'm not like an audio expert, clearly. I don't really know what I'm doing wrong.

I don't know if it's like a simple thing or what or if I'm being an idiot and it's just like literally one toggle somewhere that I've missed. If any of you happen to be audio experts out there, Please hit us up on Twitter You Whigger And on the subject No, because I even emailed I even emailed FocusWrite specifically

With their like help desk thing Because I couldn't find anything And I wrote this huge paragraph This meaty paragraph I spent time on that bullshit Detailing every issue I had And what I needed to do And they replied with this

This, this, oh boy. They replied with this useless email. So fucking useless. It could, it would have been more useful if they just ignored me and never replied. I would have gained more information, more useful knowledge. They didn't read a single fucking word of it. All they saw was that I mentioned the word audacity. Even though I said, I've been trying to get it to work in Adobe Premiere.

But for some reason, they just one sentence replied, Yeah, audacity can't record more than two inputs, which is wrong. Yeah, whoever replied, like, do your fucking job. Yeah, even when you're filling in the help email, there are all these different sections that it's like, what audio software are you trying to record in? I specifically put Adobe Premiere. It's like you just didn't ignore any of my issues, whatever. Isn't it Adobe? It's not premiere, is it? Sorry, order. No, audition.

Adobe audition. I'm so furious. I can't even get my words straight. Another thing that's angering me, right? Get this. I went to London last weekend. You did? You went to Lego Store? I did go to Lego Store. I was hoping to pick up the Tantive, but unfortunately it wasn't out at that point. Although I did order it today because it was, we're recording this on the 3rd of May day before 4th of May which is like Star Wars Day or whatever

literally 50 minutes yeah for VIPs get to order the Tantive early so I got my being Alex being like this mega VIP at this point yeah I'm a mega VIP when I was in the Lego store I pulled that my VOP card that had the Millennian Falcon on it and it was like you got the Millennium Falcon

and I was like clearly you fucking idiot I have the fucking Millennium Falcon card what else could I possibly have? I think I stole it from someone. Get out my face. I got 35 quid off that tantive though because I've been just saving my points. Is that,

so all of your points are just 35 pound off the tentative? How much is the tantive? Um, um, a hundred and seventy. 170. Yeah. So it was two,

pretty decent price per part though, to be fair. So it was what? 200 pound originally? No, no, I got, RRP is about

170 So I got it About 125-ish Yeah Like oh sweet Next I do I wait for the double points Weekends and I wait

I only really get the UCS models Anyway Why is this an angry thing Because James James was the one that brought up the Lego store I don't get angry at the Lego store That's my calm zone On the journey

The journey to London That was my issue I haven't had it happen before But I've heard stories of, you know, being in a train. I don't think you've ever been in a train before, James, but we have these vehicles... We have these vehicles called trains in the UK.

Where they're like a car... I'm just trying to describe what a train is, to James. They're like a car that's on a rail. They're like a long car. Imagine like loads of cars joined together with more seats in them. That wasn't yours, that was Alex's. Yeah, he just drank all of my...

water. Thank you. That's what you get for thinking I don't know what trains are. The point was... I like trains. Okay, you brought it back round. That took that alleviated some of my anger. Yeah, just get to the point. There's plenty remains. Anyway, trains.

Everyone can picture... Wait, what's a train? It's like loads of cars joined together. So basically imagine a train. There are normally sort of two seats next to each other in a big line, right?

Like a plane? No, not like a plane. A plane is like... A plane's like a flying car with wings. No, I'd say a plane is more like a flying train. Yeah, no, yeah, definitely. No, but they don't have different cars. No, it's one car.

A car, yeah. It's a flying car. No, it's a flying long... It's a flying bus. It's a flying bus, yes. No, it's a flying train carriage. No, but wouldn't it be a flying boat? No, then. Because boats are more like planes.

Anyway, yeah, point is planes are a flying boat. Flying boats, yeah. We can agree on that. I'm glad we could agree on that, finally. But point is, I was sat by the window where I like going normally, so I can see the lovely, lovely universe flash by me while I'm listening to my beats. I can imagine a transformer running alongside the train. What the fuck you're talking about?

You know exactly what I'm fucking talking about. Nope. And people are listening. Every train journey I go on with Alex, he'll sit next to the window and then like tap me on the shoulder and go, Jim, look out the window and imagine like Optimus Prime is running alongside the train, like fighting Decepticons. I don't know why, but... See, if it was me, I'd be like, Jim, imagine if you're Alex Mason, you've just jumped on the train and you're saying goodbye to me. But yeah So I'm sat there just enjoying my life

Watching the beautiful Wiltshire Wilderness go by imagining Optimus Prime Then we stop off at Swindon The shit hole of the universe Where we just came from Where James got his ticket Yep Where James got his ticket

The The pinnacle of shit holes It's fucking bad Everyone just Google Swindon Just go on images you'll see what we mean if you're not from the UK but it's also got one of the greatest

things ever created it's called the Magic Roundabout and it's fucking incredible it really is as good as they say we should do a five hour video and it is the Magic Roundabout as good as they say if you don't know what we're talking about

Google the Magic Roundabout Swindon we've mentioned it before but Swindon is important to us I was watching The Chase a UK game show yeah a little while ago and one of the questions was like Which of these is a

No Like which city has the magic roundabout or some shit And it was Swindon Had the magic roundabout And the great thing is it does It does work No it really works It actually works more than

You can't comprehend it until you use it It's just like It's basically one roundabout With like five many roundabouts It's like six It's like one It's just it's like roundabouts In a circle

It's like a circle of roundabout about it's so it's so crazy point is we stop the train stops at swindon a surge of like mammals just come into the onto the train and someone sits next to me because of course it's busy it's heading to london everyone's trying to get to london this person who sits next to me is like a morbidly obese woman grotesquely overweight um You got a problem with that? Yes Because I was sat there

I'm not like huge or anything I'm quite an average person The The armrests that you can bring down on trains Yeah Right that's kind of like An unspoken rule where it's like Those come down and that's your area

Yeah That's mine So the arm arm holder thing goes down and she's there sat next to me and she's so overweight that the fat of her legs is squishing up against my right leg all the way along and she's like barely even paying attention to it she like doesn't care because like she's so overweight that it's it's drooping over the other side as well and she's a young lady too um and the whole time she was on fucking Snapchat

taking pictures of herself and Snapchatting the world so there's we could probably see me in them she was just standing there just like not paying attention to anything just... Sorry yeah sitting there

drooping everywhere I'm not trying to be mean but fuck me flowing you see I remember a while ago this overweight woman was making the case that it's like discrimination to say that an over like a very overweight person has to buy

two plane tickets right because so you want them to redesign vehicles just in case one fat person needs to sit down not they isn't no it's this doesn't work like that you you design you design things around like an average human yeah yeah well whatever I ain't gonna get into this

surely if they want if that's an icon and surely I should get half price because I'm thin no because you're you should have the option to buy half of a seat yeah I can easily be comfortable that squeezing in against someone else that's bought the other half

of no no it doesn't work both ways it does work both ways I don't complete. No, because if James had half a seat and someone that overweight had to buy one and a half, that's a good combo. Would you be comfortable in Alex's situation? No. Yeah, exactly.

It doesn't work both a ways. What needs to be said is that if you don't use public transport, you don't have this problem. Why do you drive to London? What's the point? So you can drive your loud Mazda for the... You literally, I don't think you're legally even allowed to drive it into London anymore. I'm allowed to drive my car. I've already checked.

It's legal. You sure about that? I tried to get an Uber when I was there, and it was this guy I could barely understand who was like, where are you going? Where do you want to go in London? And I was like, into Central. And he was like, okay. And then he showed up, and then I got in and was like, yeah, I want to go to Central. And then he was like, no, I can't go into Central.

This car's not allowed to go in. Get out. thanks guy why didn't you just jog it's London you just walk there because I'd had a milkshake and had diarrhea it was an emergency I still excuse for everything

it's Alex's just to get out of jail free card no you still look for going to the pub on the weekend oh I got fucking hell of diarrhea no but it's that and uh oh my car's not charged do you want to go get some KFC can't my car's not charged I want to go to... Well, only two of us can fit in an I-8 anyway.

What's the point? You've got an I-8, Alex. You've got an I-3. It's never charged, apparently. Alex doesn't pay for electricity because that's directly using fossil fuels which are killing the planet. Alex's just, um...

We've got a generator with a gerbil running in a circle. Argy? Yeah, Argy on a... You want to something else that's angering me? Yeah. Yes, go ahead. Get out of your system, baby.

So, of course, last episode, if you're a true Jail fan, you'd know. We inspired the community to tweet at Fleshlight. Yeah. The big thank you to everyone. The best sex toy on the market. Which Alex has never used. The best sex toy on the market that we really want to be sponsored by. Yeah.

We love Fleshlight. We do. James is actually kind of worryingly obsessed with them. He's owned multiple. I have not owned multiple. Alex is the one who's obsessed with them You would rate the Suckoo Dry What out of 10?

Four A four? What's wanking men? What's wanking out of 10 then? 10 That's bullshit That scale sucks And you're wrong

I've never even used the Suckoo Dry But I can guarantee I refuse to use a fleshlight Unless we get given free testers By fleshlight Yeah but point is The Jal community Are so incredible

they tweeted so much at Fleshlight that Fleshlight, the official fleshlight, replied to JAR Media on Twitter saying DM us now. So I was like, this is it. Fleshlight.

So I DM them and they were like, what would be the best email to email you? And I was like, here you go. I'm ready for this. Haven't heard from them yet. So I say, keep tweeting at them this war isn't even close to being over

no no no don't because then they won't take us seriously if we keep doing no they will take us seriously because it shows that there's interest if we get a discount code do you realize how many flashlights I'm going to buy

you really this desk covered in flashlights and we can make replicas of our dicks we can make replicas of our discs of our dick Wait, is that a flesh-like product? No, it's not.

It's not a flesh-like product. No, but we can put the replicas on there and then put the fleshlights on the sticks. Please, fleshlight, what are you doing? You know, with those great yule-dos, you can get them in different colors as well. We can get them in, like, yeah, all the jar colors. Each color of the mic.

Yeah, purple ones. a green one, a red one. Yes. Well, I'd have to have the purple one then. And I want to have so many, like, I want to have so many fleshlights that we can put them on our hands and weird stuff like that. Share them. Make past a bit.

Review them. Just rebrand everything. Just boxes of fleshlights everywhere. Uh, missing out on a big thing, guys. Big marketing opportunity. I bet they don't have a flashlight. podcast they could say it could be part of their whole marketing thing yeah god it's just guests get like porn star guests on the jar cast yeah we are family friendly we're yeah yeah hope no one listens to

this like with a child around or something oh yeah mommy what's a flashlight well my mother asked me what a flesh light is because she saw she saw the tweet um when it will began when you first started tweeting at Flashlight on the JAR Media Twitter. My mum walked up to me and was like, what is this thing that JAR is tweeting at? Did she go on their account and see Riley Reid like, I don't think she would have asked me had she seen that. And I said, I'm not going to tell you. I tell my parents about it.

Really? I tell my dad. What did your dad think? Who's like, what a flashlight? Did your dad never catch you with yours? No. When did you use it then? I've never used a flashlight.

So we, yeah, knew it. And then my dad just didn't know what they were. So it was just like, the biggest male sex toy company. And then I just burst out laughing. What did you think of that? You just gave me that smile that, like, that fucking, See, this is the fucking sexism I'm talking about. Male sex toys aren't taken seriously.

Women are allowed to have, they're allowed to just walk around dildoing themselves when getting any trouble at all. Then I go out and try and fucking fuck my fleshlight in public and I get arrested. Such bullshit. This political correctness got mad. No, it's not It's the opposite Excuse me

It's political injustice No, I'd say it's very conservative I wish that we need the SJWs on my side for once They are Well they want fleshlights to be allowed Like you should be able to just have a flashlight on your dick At all times That's not

That's like impossible I think women just walk around with dildas inside of them Pardon me Are they not? Can you prove that they're not? No. So there we go. I'll let the viewers decide.

It's pretty likely. There is the people who do that. What? There are people who do that, obviously. And you're saying we've males... I think it's incredibly sexist that one is allowed and one isn't. A pair of trousers on with a fleshlight on your dick. Would everyone have to stop?

Fleshlight, this is another product Fleshlight is missing out on. Like trousers that have it. built in. That would be helpful actually because then like you get, you're wearing like loose trousers random hard on. Just slip flashlight. Yeah. So it can't like.

All these like 16 year olds that are like every, every teenage boy knows what it's like just getting random boners. If you just had a cheeky little fleshlight in your pocket, a literal pocket pussy. It just kind of sucks the come out and then you just continue with your exam or whatever. No, I don't... You're saying 16-year-olds should basically be jerked off 24 hours a day by a pair of trousers. It would calm them down. It would reduce teenage pregnancies.

Yeah. Or just get them castrated, one or the other. That's all I'm asking for. It's not much. God, the government's useless. Ah, so many things, so many injustices in this world. So much bullshit we have to deal with over here. You know?

Like me. Truly is a nanny state. Jim, so what's been frustrating you recently? What are you angry about? Um, reasons? Mmm, yum. Yes. Did you just mouth, I really need to do a poo?

I really need to do a fucking poo. Well, we're nearly at the halfway point so you can do a poo. Then, if you really want. I'm gonna have to. Oh, Jesus Christ. I was picturing earlier, everyone... James takes a fucking half an hour to shit as well. I don't take half an hour to shit.

Sorry for interrupting you. Yeah, it'll be too long anyway. Now what, we'll be back after these messages. Oh, wow. Um, hello, this is me, Argi. You do realize that there are bebo shirts available, right? Take a look at the really cute shirts. Look in the description or under the video for more.

So welcome to the second part of the JARCAST. listen you know no spoilers no spoilers for avengers endgame right but did you did you know there's a character called kang or something con no kang yes the last air bender you know that you know you know of this character called kang yes or some shit i read some really bad article earlier that was like we think avengers endgame was subtly teasing the next villain in the marvel saga. Kang! Kang's going to be a legend. He's a time-traveling warrior.

Who's been the Avengers biggest scare? Who's hyped for Kang? Three cheers for Kang, everybody. Dave, Rico, Brian. RICO, Dave, Brian. People just listening are like,

what the fuck? It's talking people watching are like what the fuck are they talking about James is talking about Rico the penguin Dave the minion and Brian the dog Rico Dave Brian Rico Dave Brian

Rico Dave Brian Rico Dave Brian Rico Dave Brian Rico Dave Brian I guess that's the name of this episode then Rico Dave Right Jim can you explain why you keep insulting me

Because it's cute in the break you were just insulting me Jim where's my key why do you just leave your key fucking lying on the floor James just like it's like what's the most important thing on my person I'm just gonna throw it on the floor

like you just threw it on the floor outside and then drove off I think no it's probably downstairs we're doing the cast we can't talk about lost keys at the moment Jim please what do you mean why was i insulting you i wasn't

tell me what i said you literally said i'd become autistic i never said that yeah you did what did you say then no i never said anything i was quiet during the whole thing okay insult our audience base of autists then why are you laughing wow insensitive much we're all all on the spectrum i suppose Stop pocket-pussying Jim It's freaky

I never said that though I never fucking said that And even if I did say that Who's to say it's an insult It's just an observant Because you said I was being cringy I never said that Stop denying it

But if I were to have said that It's not necessarily bad It's just funny Pretty insulting if you ask me. Insulting to whom? Me. What's wrong on being autistic?

Because you're saying that it was cringy. What's wrong of being cringy? Because everyone uses it as an insult. I wasn't. My name's Leifie and this is a cringy video. I just found this video, Jarlcast episode 165 where they were talking about minions and it was cringy. It was fucking cringy.

Yeah, but... I agree with Leafy on this one. Rico, Dave, Brian. Yeah, ooh, yeah. Speaking of, like, Avengers and all this nerd shit, when I was in London, I went into, like, this nerd shop. Because I was after something in particular for a video that I want to make. It was an actual, like, comic book shop.

I've never been into one. I didn't... To be honest, I thought they were... weren't real. I thought they didn't really exist. I can't remember the name of, it's like a chain, a chain of comic book shops. But there's quite a big one in

London I went in. And I've never been more uncomfortable in a shop. Why? I think there is such an idea of going too far sometimes. That's all I can say

really. I walked down, I walked in, looked around cringed pretty hard went downstairs into the comic book area saw there was the comic of like

Deadpool fighting Wolverine and then I was like oh dear and then I walked out that's a really good comic to be fair I looked at the Captain Marvel comics bought a bunch of them

favourite character obviously then left didn't find what I was really after What were you after? Well, I can't say because it'll spoil my video. I made my thinky bleed. Anyway.

Listen, we have questions we need to answer from the JAR community. Yes. Which anyone in the whole wide world can go over to the JAR Media Reddit and there's a thread, not the one that's been stickied there that's like, like four years old or something. Not that one, the correct one. The suggestion thread.

Let's do this, dog. Let's just go in. Instant five stars is going to start us off this episode. Saying, Next week's cast will go up on my birthday. So while it's not a question, it would absolutely make my day if you mingers could wish a happy birthday to Kaplan.

Jim? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Caitlin. Happy birthday to you. Wigger. I like that touch at the end there.

They kind of made it like, it brought it back down. made it close to home. Made it sort of cultural you know yeah I hope that

was what they wanted yeah we did well hope it made you cry Jim has never said happy happy birthday to me though

that's fucking horse shit and you fucking know it no it's not you do oh I just realized

I just have the best I just have the best idea you're going to show it I feel like it would ruin something would ruin a surprise A surprise in this episode because it's going to be fucking annoying for listeners if it's No because if I even say what it was

It was spoil what it will be in the future I'm like Thanos Bair perfectly balanced Bair perfectly balanced Bibo Dibi Dibbidi Dosa says what fictional character do you have the biggest emotional attachment to

I'd say Dave I'd say Rico I'd say Brian I'll be serious for a change I don't know that's John Rick's dog How about I don't know Something emotional

The dog from Marley me No Legend I'm legend And Alex's is the A dog from Marley and me You mean Marley and me

you mean Marley I thought Marley was Owen Wilson Who's me then I'm like fucking Bob Marley Me is the dog It's written by a dog

The dog The dog grows out of his own I just say Steve Irwin It's in the movie No I didn't I said Owen Wilson Oh I've fucking heard Steve Irwin for some reason

Owen Wilson of hall past fame Oh Lord I don't have one I can't think of one What about John Carter From Red Dead or whatever What's he called John Carter from Red Dead

What's his name John Marston No the other one from Red Dead 2 The superior character That one yeah Arthur Morgan That's a good one Mine would be

What fictional character what fictional character do you have the biggest emotional attachment to spider-man okay spider-man from into the spider-verse spider-be spider-be Peter B Parker I think he's great what about like um yep that's a really fucking my most, it depends what I did lately, you know? No, that's not true.

What's a character that when they're like on screen or when you think about them, there's like an emotional response to it? What about like Samwise Gamji? Yeah, God damn. No, I definitely have a connection with that bloke. See? No, but like the most. And you realize Samwise Gamji, the actor.

I can't remember his name for some reason. Steve Irwin. Steve Irwin. he's a gamer hell yeah I was watching there's a YouTuber that I like watching called Mandelaw Gaming

he uploaded a video on the Return of the King game for like the original Xbox and he got Sean Astin who's the actor he's in the video no way yeah that's so fucking cool

yeah it's awesome I'd recommend that video it was funny let's get him on the jarcast then yeah Obviously, Deadpool gives me pretty extreme reactions Is your actual answer, Spider-Man? One of them, yeah.

Spider-Man is such a weakness to me. That game got me hard, Spider-Burst gets me hard. I just get so erect. I'd say, I've been watching Breaking Bad recently. Yeah, and Jesse Pinkman. it's something about that character yeah it's very sympathetic sympathetic characters often get the boost response

hence why that scene in family guy where brian just gets slaughtered it's so poignant speaking of family guy though Chris from family go I really tell me more I can't vocabulary

that scene where Lois looked at looked at at his penis at night and then that's not Lois, that's Peter's. No they both do it. Yeah. Whoa look at his penis! That shit hit home hard quite literally and then he, there's that weird

episode where he literally fucks Lois he fucks his own mother. No, he doesn't that never fucking happens Brian fucks Lois. Really? The dog, yeah. Then Stewie like, Stewie goes back in time and makes Lois his like wife so fucked

well wait before we move on the talking about mouth holes being tongue fucked I want to quickly bring up when we were when we were watching Avengers end game

no spoilers do you remember what you pointed out to me directly the row in front of us the people sitting in front of us oh there were people like literally tongue fucking each other's mouth holes yeah did you not see that James No, I was watching the movie.

I was trying to watch Spider-Man run around. Dang, check this out. This is fucking bonkers. Yeah, I was trying to watch Iron Man fight Thanes. Thaneus. And then I see these two suck in. This is horseshit. You're telling lies.

It was before the movie started. They just started tongue-fucking. Yeah. And... Can you blame them? It's fucking boring before the movie starts. No. I can't blame them.

If they're way at the back, whatever. Yeah, you're out of the way. Close to the front. and everyone's got to hear and they've both been eating nachos so it just stank of beans the beany fucking tongue fuck get that shit out of the way

in the car before you go in whatever I don't want to hear and she was literally jerking him off children everywhere his fucking cum shot up into James's fucking into his popcorn

in the 80s James Yeah, Ant Man went back in time and gave James come popcorn Is that a spoiler? I think the saying about time travel is a spoiler Yes, actually I'm not editing that out I think the statute of limitations is fucking up to be honest

If I'm being totally fucking fair Come on, characters you're attached to emotionally We've, like, been over this. James didn't even say a single one. Because you've been meaning. That's not true. I answered it properly. Yeah, I did as well.

You said fucking spine man makes you a whacked. That's not an emotional connection. Well, if you actually listen to what I said, you know. Wait, do emotional, like, do a reactions count? Sexual emotions. Yeah. Well, my answer would be very different then. Okay, tell me your answer.

Come on. Gloria. Not Gloria. I'm not a fucking beastiality. Go on then Give me an honest answer then That girl off countdown Fair play

She's not a character That is she is She's kind of a character She's funny Isn't her name Rachel Wiley Don't I Don't pretend like you don't know I actually don't know though

That is her name by the way I'm not fucking 80 years old All I know is to It's the only thing that keeps 80 year olds alive is Rachel Riley what's your answer then you fucking to the actual to the actual question oh you talk about my cock emotions

you turn the question into this perverse sexual fantasy don't let me with him I said like the sexual emotions count yes of course they do okay so you've got cock emotions and actual emotions I've got one for actual emotions

No, I don't care about that one I want to know about the other one now Cock Emotions What's something that just made your cock bleed with emotions Ha ha ha ha ha Um I don't know how to answer Fictional character that's made my cock bleed with emotions

Well you don't even have to say a fictional character Alex fucking didn't. He just said a woman. An actual woman. It counts. Down. Okay. Obviously, Laura Croft.

Laura Croft. Old or new one? Really one, obviously. Really imaginative, though. The new one. Okay. Samus. Wow, really imaginative.

Samus' latest smash bros or the previous one. ones. Previous smash pros. Okay, good. Because she ain't got no fucking ass, no man. Yeah, the new one's fucked. I'm sorry. What was your actual

answer then, before we move on? The main character of High Ban Ren Mai. I've talked about that show before, so yeah, that's it. Right. High ban Ren Mai. High ban Ren Mai. I've probably said it wrong, but yes. Is that what it is?

High ban, Memroy. I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it's high ban, remni. Rayban, fav, rain. My pillow's still orange from the spray tin. Oliholic says, what's the most foul slash disgusting thing you've ever done, slash seen? I hate a scorpion. That was pretty foul.

Yeah, that was, that was fucking terrible. Yeah, that's the worst. Alex when he'd say I'm trying to think something foul that I've done you look like you're going for your memories of like all the foul things you've done okay I pissed off a bridge once

we were there for that yeah I don't I weirdly don't remember that you do remember I think it was mainly me that really wanted James to do it yeah like you love shit like that you were one of those piss kids for a bit

Not like William, though. No, not like William. He was so obsessed with piss that his name was literally about Willys. That's the shittest joke I've heard. Fuck. I think, no, for real, the nastiest thing I've ever done was shit in my garden and let flosser you too. But I did that as well And that didn't even cross my mind

For foul things That's how bad You can. What Um Does I have Like Four years old

You pissed on me Yeah Yeah that's really bad Giving Jim Gold Gondon shower Yeah That's really foul I don't count that

Because I don't remember it he does you're just like a jealous dog or something yeah no I don't remember it I would have been fucking one or two that's Jim's earliest memory is getting golden showered

have you ever been like so curious about something that you just you just do it yes for example just like have you ever just been peeing and then you're just like I could just put my hands straight through the peas stream And then I just went

Oh I just did it Wait Wait when did you do that The other week If you never done it When you're pissing And you're just like

What would happen If I fucking shake more wheelie What pisses And it's just like No That's one I've never thought That's way less weird Than just touching piss

You're still a piss Kid It's not like a sexual thing No he definitely is You started just pissing by your garage for no reason. Alex loves piss. It's not like a sexual thing, though. It's just...

No, that's why my phrasing is specifically pissed kid. Right. Because you've got like a childlike... Interest. Just in pissed. Yeah. I don't think there's an issue with that. I'm honest.

Oh, I do. You should... I don't think you should have an urge to just touch your piss as it's coming out of your cock. at least i've learnt from it at least he's not a yeah yeah poo's too nasty anything else

What's the original... Yeah. Something foul. What's yours then? I can't really think of any. Yeah, mine is feeding my dog. Any that wouldn't get me arrested? Just a little joke for you.

Seeing those, that couple just fucking in a field when I was walking argue was quite foul. Because it wasn't even like a... You doing something. No, but the question was. what's the most foul slash disgusting thing you've seen or done

and what made it foul was it was like just like a nasty overcast day the ground was kind of sludgy and it's like what are you doing at least go somewhere nice

dogging it's called dogging yeah and I was so frightened dogging when you watch it you go out to see people do that I thought dogging was just doing it in public

I'm pretty sure dogging it is doing it both watching and doing it might be like a group of more than two people going outside to some sort of public I think you're both wrong I'm gonna Google it

I'm gonna fucking shoot farts then is that your one you shit yourself a lot Jim I've never shat myself didn't you just say that you fucking shit yourself the other day

that was me testing the waters to see if people would believe me there's nothing wrong with having a poop part I'm not fucking six years old anymore I don't do poo-furt I drink enough water I eat enough fruit so I'm not just fucking like

no you do there is a time when you just had like a massive just co-in it's just like you can't control it you just do a poo far

and it's like no but I can normally sense so I go to the toilet and poo no I could I thought it was a fart but it wasn't so you're an actual child no

dog is a British English slang term for engaging in sexual acts in a public or semi-public place or watching others doing so. Yeah, so we were right. You fucking cunt. I don't say that.

Well, you don't use the C word anymore. I don't swear. Okay. What? Thanks for the question, Oliholic. Why would you do... What? What do you mean what?

The hole in my garden has a query Hey JAR recently me and my friend got to talking about something it was a heated debate between the two of us and we are yet to come to a conclusion on the topic so I decided to once again

call upon the sliders of the JARCast for help the reason I make this query and I'm going to pause there because this is really fucking serious so don't joke about this to you is because of your attachment to the two franchises and I feel you have something

to add to it that's right bitches it's that time again what Madagascar characters are the cast of the Halo franchise as per perdition I shall submit my list of choices for you to read and discuss master chief is Rico Cortana is Gloria captain keys is skipper sergeant Johnson is Marty if you call me racist then it's skipper again tartarus is Motto profit of truth is king julian the profit of regret is mort there are so many I can't be bothered to go through all of these

um I mean no he's already wrong I would say um I'm gonna be honest terrible terrible choices shows a fundamental misunderstanding no from the get go master chief

who's master chief surely it would be Melman that at least Cortana would make more sense then as being Gloria. Why would that make more sense? Because they have a relationship. A cowardly... Giraffe.

Giraffe. No, but imagine it. A funny, goofy giraffe main character. Funny. Master Chief is not funny. No, but if it was animated, that would be like the hook. Yeah, it's called Halo Legends.

He's Alex the Lion. Yeah, but Alex the Lion... Oh no, he does have a love interest. That means Cortana isn't Gloria. Cortana's that lion from the third one. Yeah, but would you say Cortana's a leaventer? Yes. 100%.

No. It's the only, like, person he's ever cared about. Yeah, but that doesn't happen to me. Okay, Cortana's Marty then. Yeah, that's what I was getting at. Like, best friends cannot be separated. Well, Master Chief wants to fuck Cortana. He doesn't want to fuck anything.

He's the... He does. He doesn't have a cock. Yes, he does. the suit just jerks him off and shut the fuck out this stuff is so lame it sucks the shit out of his body

everybody tweet at um hidden expiria and say does the Spartan armor jerk master chief off and suck his shit up I didn't say that that didn't happen or that isn't a thing

I said that shit is lame and I don't want to hear it Alex has literally been going on about that for years is it is it true i don't fucking know but if it is it's it's shit and if it's not then you're shit well it will explain some things no if it's not he's full of shit yeah surely the penguins would just be marines then or something no no i'd say skipper is johnson actually skippers do dumb no johnson's got to mean something to chief johnson should be that Main penguin then.

Rico? That is skipper. Yeah, no, you're right. It's skipper. But then where did Melman and Gloria come into this? Arbiter. Melmiter. Arbiter and shipmaster.

Okay. Who's Captain Keyes? Alex's dad? Yeah. And Alex's mom is... Miranda Keys. no that's fucking weird Alex's

mum is I had a really good one but it escaped my brain the seal is it um no

the person that made Cortana Dr. Keith Howsey Howsy there you go there that's enough Let's do no let's do one more

Who is Spartan Locke from Halo 5 The seal Yeah The annoying fucking useless seal Hmm What's one we can end on Stach DK Says

If your wives were giving birth on recording day What would be your excuses for not showing up Up to what? The recording or? I assume to the wife Um Um, um, no I will

I will miss the drycast Don't be a fucking That's rude Yeah, fuck you You might as well miss this one then I see where your fucking priorities lie then Fuck me Yeah

I would say I'd just be like This is boring Just be true I'd be like This could happen like literally any day Yeah fuck you This thing

This fucking creature is gonna be around for like years probably yeah i'm gonna see it like constantly yeah or like no i i would say you know what fuck you this was my day to record and this is when you choose to have your baby yeah this is bullshit yeah it's just like you're giving birth can you not hold it and that's been the jarcast episode 165 thanks y'all bye fucking thanks for listening thanks for supporting us Because they're sweet as fuck I ain't gonna lie Baby go get too

I've been eating beans in the bath I'm like baby don't get to know Thank you for watching this episode of the Jarm Media podcast Love you, bye You hope you enjoyed the show Have a good week

See the temptation I just had them Was to just pour this over the mic Where the fuck would you have He's You are ADHD autistic Aspergian What you do you does I'm not allowed to say retail anymore.

I don't give a shit. At least it's accurate. What? I just saw a comment. Same what? No, I'll bring it up in common. Okay. Joker's here, though.

Well, maybe I could do a good Joker voice, then.