JAR Media Posdact - Shreddies Absorb... WHAT? - JARCAST Episode 184

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening, all night. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the JARMedia podcast, episode 184. Today, it's the fabulous Friesome of myself, James, on the, I'm MC today on the house. MC in the house MC in the crib We've got To my white We've got

MC in the crib And to his right We've got MCUB Dobobo Double Double G Now I'd like to have a shout out To the jar

Patreon's over at Patreon For supporting the show And making everything possible And Yeah we need you Because every episode gets demonetised Yeah We've had quite the issue of demonetisation

recently, haven't we? Because the way YouTube monetization works is, in regards to language, is it checks like the very beginning of the video

to see if there are swear words and every time I've contested it and then someone from YouTube has to manually review the video they will click on it and the intro will be like Jim screaming the F word and then of course they'll be like denied

as happened last week last week's episode, Jim. Yeah, multiple. As per usual. So, how are we all doing, my lovely boys? Terrible. Absolutely dreadful. Genuinely fucking awful.

Yep. Just so bad. Well, I've also been feeling terrible, you know? So you're not the only one. What's your reasoning for feeling terrible? I've recently discovered that I have nightmares Okay

You're gonna elaborate or should I just do my one Oh well How can I elaborate on nightmares What the fuck you're talking about, dude What do you mean what I'm on about I have nightmares Do you have nightmares? Yes, I have nightmares

Why don't you just tell us What your nightmares are, Alex? I've already told it many times About Ark 1170 terrorists coming in Oh yeah. Okay, we've already done the nightmare thing. Let's not get political on here. The Republic are going to come and take over. The Republic of clones are really going to take us down.

So, what have we all been watching, consuming, listening to you? Before we do that, there is some housekeeping. Oh, what housekeeping have you got? Yeah, the first one, no, shut the off. The first one is very important to me because I cannot believe. of how badly I effed up last episode. You fucked up again? I said something so unforgivable

I have been whipping myself on my back with my belt every hour because I've been so upset about it. Last episode, I was talking about the study of dinosaur bones. Oh, I saw this. Instead of calling it paleontology, I called it archaeology.

Which is just such a rookie. idiotic move to make and I apologize to everyone out there because I'm actually ashamed and I don't think I can ever talk about dinosaurs ever again because Archaeology! Wait, did you actually say that?

Do you know why that happened though? Because I was so scared of getting it wrong that in my head I was like, don't say archaeology, don't say something I said archaeology. Why didn't you just correct yourself? Yeah, instead of... Because I didn't notice I was doing it. To be fair, I've never heard of paleontology before, so...

Oh, don't be a fucking prick. You never seen Jurassic Park? Yeah, I got scared. I was a kid. Gave you nightmares. Yeah. In other news, um, apparently the Republic are planning on getting a clone army or something. What?

Yeah. It's just the first I've heard about it. Like, oh yeah, wait, hang on, are we in agreement or disagreement of the clone army? Um, a clone army might be necessary in some instances, but overall it is a bit too fascistical for me. I just, I think it's too shiny. Hmm, I agree. It's too much like an Apple product. Exactly. But you both love Apple.

I don't love Apple. I've never even bought an Apple product. I thought we've gone over the Apple thing before I really don't like Apple You and what army My Android Army Our Samsung's are going to take you down But listen

Alright There's another thing Yes Last week I also mentioned my haircut And how strange it looks on camera Yes and how it looks like you're Yeah, but... And then I saw a comment that was like,

I don't even care about the haircut. You have the most white boy haircut of all time anyway. What difference does it effing make? Something like that. And I was just like, but... But I am a white boy. What do you want me to do? Yeah, what can you do?

And if I don't, then if I didn't have the white boy haircut, then it would just be, you really need a freaking haircut. you loser, you idiot bitch your hair looks terrible get a haircut idiot you look disheveled I'm currently in that stage

of getting there because I hadn't had hair cut in a while no mine is nah yours is still fine on the sides mine ain't fine on the sides and that's where it all goes wrong is when the top meets the bottom and it grows out on the side

because me and Alex have that hair so James you mentioned this nightmare thing and I noted this down as your topic because like every time you get you bring up this idea that you specifically have

nightmares about me betraying you. Yeah it's specifically Alex everything. No okay no it's not like recently for last like four or five months I've had the same weird co nightmare in different situations

of like being betrayed like the people around you turn their back on me in various different situations and for the last few months it's been my family it's from my parents it's been everybody but just recently it's just been you and very specifically you

and why do you think that is I don't know what could I possibly do to betray that's the thing's a nightmare it's just like it's the most obscene shit that is why you betraying me like the recent one is that you threw my phone in a

and then got angry at me and then didn't talk to me anymore that's my nightmare threw your phone into a river for no reason you were playing a game you threw my phone did you get angry at james for that well i'm sorry dude yeah you should be sorry it was just too far but i don't i you it's just you in particular at the moment thank you like jim's never done it i've never had the nightmare of jim yeah because like i'm i wouldn't do that in reality Alex would do all those things you just said talking about her Alex kind of has before though Wait

Do you ever see mad stars when you sneeze What Do you ever see stars when you sneeze? No Alex, she's trying to like, I can eat the fucking game Oh shout out to Paisley the puppy

Who's growing wonderfully And is the cutest She's a little cutie pie I love her so much Yeah But yeah, I don't know if you have anything else to say on your dreams, but that's your little topic. I think he's a sort of fear I have of you. You're scared of me?

Yeah, quite literally. Why? I don't know. I don't know. I'm always there for James. I know you're there. I'm not actually scared of you, but... I don't know. I don't know why the focus is on you at the moment. But I don't like them. They say your dreams are your greatest fears or your greatest desires. Well, yeah, obviously...

desires. I'm obviously afraid of like you fucking hating me. I will admit that. That is a great fear of mine. It would take a... It takes a lot to get me to hate to you. I don't know.

I don't think I'm doing anything wrong at the moment besides hitting you both. And stealing my squashies. You fed it to me. I didn't steal it. I did feed it to you, to be fair. Exactly. Jim, you have a topic.

Nah. No, no, I fucking... No, you genuinely do. And you're going to need to go into your phone and find the picture of it so we can talk about this shit. Oh, fuck. Do you want me to set the scene? Set the stage. Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to be able to find this.

Well, see what you can do. Yes. James, um... You like driving your car, obviously. You're a big fan of driving and cars and all that. Yeah, definitely. You go down the motorway a lot? No, but barely, but yes. Jim found it. Awesome.

But Jim... But you know about, you know, service stations. Along the motorway, there are, like, pit stops. They're mainly got Krispy Kreme donuts in. Yeah, that kind of Burger Kings, you know, fast food joints. KFC. But Jim and I, when we're coming back from this, like, family holiday, we stopped off at one of these pit stops.

Pit stops. And, um, Jim noticed in the bathroom. Because, you know, they always. have like the same bathroom it's like a big vast room and every urinal has like a little advert above it so while you're peeing you can

read an advert I've never seen that but I never go to you urinals ah right so that's probably why but you can you can understand like like a little A4 piece of paper advert advert and like a little frame

and you okay I've noticed this advert before um and i'd but i'd forgotten about it and jim was just like in the urinal and he was like what what is this and you took a picture of it to remind us and you've got to explain this jim well first of all the things you see when you first look at this ad it's um this woman leaning over she's like stood behind this guy that sat down um and they're both wearing like swimwear and this dude is like ripped he's got mad abs and sick pecks and stuff um and in big text it says

the greatest gift of all and then you read the uh the quotes at the bottom my shreddies have saved my marriage and i feel so much more at ease in social situations they say money can't buy happiness but to someone who can now be wherever they want to and whose day is no longer ruled by their stomach I'm the happiest person in the world I'm absolutely amazed with the quality and efficiency of your fart filtering clothes I can I can go out with my friends now and I haven't done that in years this is a real advert this is an advert in a men's toilet for fart filtering fucking underwear a real a physical advert a piece of paper

that's been printed out. And they're called Shreddies. I thought when you started about the breakfast called Shreddies. Yeah, that's why, when I was first reading it, I was like, what's going on here? And then fart filtering fucking underwear. Yeah.

Yeah. Shreddies, flatulence filtering underwear. I've actually seen these on Facebook. Dotco.uk, I guess. I've actually seen these on Facebook, though. I don't know if I believe them or not. Shreddy's flatulence filtering underwear is the perfect way to treat flatulence issues our range of garments feature an activated carbon lining that absorbs all flatulence odors

what about um the sound I I doubt it be the sound this room I don't doubt it so this guy unless it's like it's clogging your ass of all the carbon lined there's literally a video on the website of like someone sat on a table with their legs up in the air it's like a video and it says watch our fart-proof underwear get put to the test check out our latest press coverage this shit is bonkers man how can we film them testing the underwear because they have someone lying on their back just farting but you can't see the

farce it just seems like some yeah can you hear it in the video I don't know, I haven't watched it, couldn't tell you. But isn't, there's just so many, quite, I, I remember seeing it before, this, like, little advert and being like, what the fuck? Like, I'm actually losing my mind. Like, this is some kind of dumb shit I would have. That's why, once I'd finished my business, I found you and took you to one of these ads and was like, just read this.

Because I got, I have to be missing something. You know? Just imagine you two standing by you, I know, and men's restaurant. And like, I had to get my phone out and take a picture in the urinal. That wasn't very comfortable. No, but Alex, like, is a loud laugher. You couldn't hold it in. And there's fucking toilet with all these, like, 50-year-old men.

No, because it just reminded me because I had seen it before. And I remember being like, I have to note that down or something, but I just got distracted. No, I'm really glad you've reminded me. No, but I reckon we should do a review. We should buy them with our shreddies as good as they say. And we all have to fuck eat loads of beans and shit that make you fart and then it'll sit there and fart into the mic.

Surely the, how good, how efficient the fucking carbon lining is depends on how fucking strong your farts are. So if you have like a fart that fucking turn the truth test will be on you, Yeah, we've all got, like, different styles and genres of FARC. Yeah, no doubt. James' is, like, the stinkiest, I'd say. But the quietest? Yeah, but the quiet.

Silent but violent. Jim's are just, he's got ultimate control, and does them the most probably. Like, proper. And what about yours? I'm, like, right in the middle, I reckon. Like, consistent, but not too bad, not too funny. Just kind of boring. Like, every man sort of fart.

But if you've got to test them, we've got to taste them at the most extremes. You've literally got to, like, fart so much of you shit ourselves to see how fucking... You need the two extremes and then the average. Yeah, exactly. It's perfect. It's perfect testing. But, like, what will be the best things to eat to get the, like, most extreme stinky farts? For me, it'd be Donamy.

Yeah, Sammy's in case. KFC. KFC beans. KFC beans are stuff. Get loads of times of KFC beans. And then go and get a donut kebab. Oh. The thing is you have to eat it at like the same time.

You might also have to add like a like a hool or protein shake. Yeah. Caffeine. Yeah, loads of coffee as well. Just loads of coffee. Fucking red bull coffee. Beans. KFC.

Fucking protein shakes, see how fucking... Oh, God. We just sit there farting in them for like hours. Make a date of it. If I honestly ate that much, I would just, I wouldn't even fart. I just shit myself on the stall. Oh, Kinwar as well.

Oh, Kewa fucked me up. No. No, that's one I can't face. It fucked me up as well. It's horrible. I've never tried it. No, it's bad. I've had Donovan today as well, so.

Isn't it like just the funniest idea to you that like this is such a problem for some people that this is an appealing product. Yeah. On the market. Like far concealment. Why not just like, pretend it wasn't you? You have so many. You have so many outs. You can just go stand outside do a fart,

goes to the toilet do a fart. Yeah. But you don't have to just let it go as soon as it arrives, you know? Like, have you ever been like, man, I'm really being held back by my farts right now? My life is actually being ruined. There's been uncomfortable moments, no doubt.

Yeah, but that's what makes far as funny because everyone does them. if it silences the sound then it'd be useful for doing exams yeah yeah but they don't say about silencing the sound they say about stuff in the smell yeah just the smell it's all smell related but that would also matter an exam as well because you know you've all been there where there's one pose he's let one riff and it you can the whole fucking room just stinks yeah

man fucking hell It's like a fucking parody advert you see on, like, in this, like in this, yeah, cyberpunk game. But, like, the, the quotes they have from people on the advert, like, my life was genuinely garbage. Like, my life was... I hadn't seen my friends for years.

Years. On an actual advert. Surely, if you're faster that bad, you've actually got a fucking problem. Yeah. I don't think these are going to fix it. Yeah, but surely it's like... fucking doctor yeah

why not change your diet or something instead of like no the thoughts on my diet aren't the problem

is my underwear I need to filter my fucking parts to specially designed under it it's fucking

wear a napi I don't know just fucking wear one of those god I just can't get over it as well

bullshit man you have to test it this is what the government wants, though. They want to control us. They want to control us. They want to control the way we like present ourselves, you know?

Like, what does a dog do when it meets another dog? Licks its ass. No, it sniffs its ass. The smell of someone is very personal and the government is trying to control that. Surely. Argy needs these. Yeah, Argy does fucking need these. Holy shit. Make dog ones.

people don't just fucking take them off and they're just weak. Yeah, listen to this. Shreddy's flatulence filtering underwear is manufactured with love in the UK using the best materials to ensure the highest standards. How do they work?

Shreddy's flatulence filtering garments feature an activated carbon back panel that absorbs all flatulence odors due to its highly porous nature that odors become trapped and neutralized by the cloth. which is then reactivated by simply washing the garment.

Pre previous research published in the American Journal of Gastronterology found activated carbon underwear to be the most effective method of removing flatulence odors. The garments have gone through rigorous testing and findings from research by De Montford University were presented at the 86th Textile Institute World Conference the fabric was found to remove sulfide

and ethylmer cap tan so effectively that it can filter odors 200 times the strength of the average flattis emission the fabric remains effective for the life of the garments two to three years

providing the care instructions are followed correctly The shreddy's motto is Fart with confidence And our garments ensure that This is shit I don't believe a single word of that It's like

It's saying it just gets absorbed by cloth Isn't that we're just normal underwear do anyway Research has gone into this man Money, power Power Power No one man should have all those shreds There's an issue

You take a girl home And then she sees your underwear and it's that underline Isn't it a bit like oh Want to see my Shreddies collection bitch There's actually a section that's like who are Shreddies for Shreddies can be worn by anyone But they offer the perfect solution for treating excessive flagellants caused by IBS irritable bowel syndrome

gastritis Crohn's disease and colitis Crohn's disease Yeah How's that spell C-R-O-H-N S

One Okay It's real man It's written down And colitis As well as food intolerances And many other bowel And digestus

Yeah why is that ringing a bell Augie Augie has colitis They're fucking disband. Oh, my God. That's it. That's why his product is fucking genius. This is actually the best thing ever

fucking invented. Dude, if a human was doing farts as bad as argi, hell yeah, I'd understand someone buying them. You need to fucking buy some out, please. I just go for walks. You love to, like, cut a hole in a pair. There is tail.

Yeah. So I email them and be like, will these work on my dog that has collisus? Do it. Yeah. Are you thinking about starting a new line of dog? There he is. Motherfucking. Come here, Roggie.

Come here, buddy. He's heard about the end of learning. He wants to come. He hears the work of colitis. And he's on the fucking, he's on the trail. Come on doggies. And he needs a fucking mice on. We need to test this.

I wonder how expensive they are. We're not sponsored, by the way. No. This is just like... He fucking stinks. Aw. Poor little guy. Jim, after all these years, this might be the answer.

Yeah. Come on. Listen to him. He's screaming with glee at the thought of these vucalitis underwear. Come here, my friend. Oh, my friend. Go on do a fart. Come on.

Do a fart, my friend Oh dear Alex, please buy some I can't I can't cope with this Should I see how much they cost Men's gifts Ladies special offers

Okay I'll quickly look at how much they have They're fucking 80 quid Whoa You can get Special pajamas Look at onesie

Oh my god, you can get men's flatulence jeans Jeans Yeah Oh damn 120 quid They're cheaper than most jeans Oh my god Who's listening that was um Uggie winging into the mic

and the idea of his colitis underwear man they they'll make jeans and boxes and all sorts what are you doing pets are next yeah no what if the future is just all clothes all clothes for your bottom half are that just like smell removal yeah

what about something for like your t-shirts that stop your armpits smelling and shit people would just stop showering no yeah like uh what's the point it's all for presentation anyway you don't do it like is there is there is it would they be able to possibly change it so like stops back sweat so you just i i don't think it can stop like it doesn't stop fast it just it doesn't make your fucking sir super sticky i can't deal with this man this is just too much much of a like we're definitely in a simulation moment it's the most diarrhea squirt like

jar media make a diarrhea squirt like seriously if shreddies wants to sponsor us we will we will test it their new line on dogs yeah we want to be the first uh fart filtering underwear podcast yeah fuck flashlight yeah let's just go in on the shreddy you're gonna fuck us like this. If they're going to turn us into a flashlight, they're going to slide us over their member. And flobble, gobble us.

Surely, this is perfect. We can give them good R&D on how to make them for dogs. Because we have a dog that's perfect for it. There are no more qualified humans and dogs alike to test. Test this. Yeah, we're actually perfect. Literally, we're all

a gassy bunch, apart from Paisley. but... We don't know yet. You've still got some time. Nothing can defeat Argy and his little bum bum or his massive bum-bum. And if we can create something with shreddies, to make Argi not stink, it was life-changing. Yeah.

And imagine just how funny it would look too. Yeah, it would look fucking just awesome. Next level humour. Next level awesome as well, though. Yeah, there'd be something kind of cool about it. Yeah, something kind of awesome about it. You know? You know?

Man, I'm so glad I remembered that. Yeah, me as well. I'm going to have to go into toilet and in the UI I know and actually see if I can find one. But it's so weird that the name is also part of what makes it so funny because Shreddies is a serial here in the UK. Yeah, but it's a UK based company. Yeah, so funny. So that makes it. Why do they choose the name at that?

Yeah. But the adverts of Shreddies has always been old people. yeah as well yeah that's true like the knitting old lady yeah so maybe knitting the fucking far underwear what the so now we know what shredies are made of

it's all connected man it's a network of fucking neurons all firing off on each other all connected it is all fucking connected as well it's fucking crazy it all comes back to argue it all comes back to argue in the end doesn't it buddy no it doesn't Yeah, it does, my friend. Yes.

Yes, it does, my little friend. Paisley. Paisley, come to go. Yes, it does. My little gassy friend. My gassy little Shreddy's buddy. Argy, Shreddy's, Beltman. No.

Argy, Shreddy's beltman. Shreddy's Argy beltman. Can we just calling Shreddy now? Yeah, Shredd, that's actually a good dog name. Search for the golden Shreddy. Back up to these messages, everybody. Dry Media shirts, now, or I'm going to hurt you. Description below.

What's up? Fellas and... Welcome to part two. this is where it gets fucking crazy dude you thought the farts were bad oh you're in for something fucking new

so normally this is the part where we answer Reddit questions but the Reddit's like broken or something Alex broke it again I broke it by accident like the suggestion thread is normally there where you can ask whatever question you want but just for this episode unless it's not fixed by the next one

these are from Twitter this time it's kind of nice to change up the pace a little bit See, I said it's going to get fucking mental. I said it's going to just go fucking off it and just keep on fucking... Oh, fuck, that is mental. I'll have that, thank you.

Let's start with... Let's start with this one from at... Yeah, I know. At Luke B86029477. Thoughts on Doctor Who? I've never watched it. It's shit. Why is it shit, Jim?

Because it's fucking shit. It's... Oh, well, how... It's just... just lame fucking Wait, if you were back in those days, you might like it No, I'm talking about the stuff like

in my time. There are some good episodes. Yeah, the angel episode is good. Yeah, that's the only one that really stands out though to me. And David Tennan was fun. And of course, the Slitheen are incredible. No, the Slothine are sick, though. I remember when you know when Doctor Who was like,

there was that huge break between like, there were like years between Doctor Who and then it was like coming back and Christopher Eccleson and Billy Elish, whatever the fuck her name is. Billy. Billy? Yeah, Billy. And there was like a trailer for it on TV

and it showed the Slothine and I actually had like a fight or flight moment because it frightened me so much. Really? When they get Zzz. Yeah. It turns out like the Slavine

are controlling the government or something. Yeah. Like Doctor Who exists to scare children. That's its purpose. Well, there's probably better things for it, let's be well. No, but it's like, it's just enough where it's like, you're not going to properly

traumatise someone. But it's enough to get that fight or flight mechanism going. I don't have that mechanism. I can't say because it's always fight. Literally. That's just my... That's fucking bullshit, man.

Jim, I tried to out one a closing gate. Fight or flight? Yeah, that outrun. get into a gate before it closes that's fight or flight that is literally basic fight or flight

instinct and I picked fight and I fucking paid the price isn't that flight no because that's what I'm saying it's 2V1 you fucker no flight no flight is going away from it is running away

there was a challenge and I took the fight path and I fucking crashed no but that is interpreted that that's way too but not not not buying

binary enough you know that no but that what what the i had that fucking instinct when i was approaching that gate and it it was that instinct and i i chose to fight by flying yes so you chose fly off my fucking motorbike um yeah doctor who you kind of sick as fuck Daleks sledine bought nine whatever the fuck in the borox or electric screwdrivers and the tardis yeah i never watched it i never watched this thing that master Uh... Yeah, the Master Pass. The Daleks, the fucking Cybermen.

The Cybermen. Delete. It's really campy. It's hyper-campy. And that either works for you or it doesn't. I know lots of Americans really like it. I just don't like the whole um... Tip-top Cheerio!

Let's go off and do this one, eh? Well, this is part of my whole thing, right? Where... The way us Brits choose to depict ourselves makes us embarrassing for the whole world. So it's no wonder Americans think we're like Prissy C3POs

We're just a fucking country in C3POs Walking around The thing is we kind of are They And I got my I've literally got my R2D to And argue

I'm C3Pio Walking around With my fucking Shreddies underwear I'm fighting And I bet I bet fucking the dude that play C3PO

wishes he had Shreddies for When he was in the fucking desert because there's nowhere to it for it to escape out of that just wrap yourself in metal and go in the desert yeah that's some horseship

that's the thing though it's like everyone has their campy things that they like I don't yes you do more than anyone yeah all the anime you watch I don't watch anime all the Japanese shit you love you watched you said you watched like a racing anime

the other day but it's so not campy you love initial D but it's an anime This doesn't mean it's camp-eats Yeah, no, but you... Initial D, James. Yes, you just...

I don't watch... Okay, I like that. You love Metal Gear, Jim. Hang on. There you go. Hang on, though. James just said he doesn't watch anime. Which is not true, but...

Which we just proved to be not true in this instance. Watching anime means you constantly... You're like a... You're watching anime. It's like you watch TV because you constantly watch it. Watching one anime isn't watching anime. Watching an anime. No, but...

But if I watch, like, one Netflix movie a week, I would say I watch Netflix. Yeah. But once I've done these 25 episodes, which is almost over, I'm not going to watch... You're going to the next anime. Which will be initially. Like, 15th time. That's the thing, though, like, if Doctor Who is your... If it really gels with you, and that's, like, your campy thing, like, yeah, whatever.

I just don't feel like it has much... It has a lot. It has done in the past, I reckon. What? It has done in the past, but it's also like, it's that thing where it's like you have your Doctor Who, you know? Yeah. Like, mine will always be David Tennant.

And I don't want none of this, you know, Matt, whatever his face or whatever. Lucas. Yeah, Matt Lucas. He would be a great doctor. What, the baby from Starshine or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Or the Australian woman

The one that only gets... Who's the best Doctor Who companion though The sexiest Billy We're not sexiest but Best, Billy That's biased You know Billy is named after that actress

Billy Piper Yes Yeah I knew that James who's your favourite I've never seen Doctor Who I've not seen a single left show. Oh, come on, you must know the companions at least.

No. For someone who's, like, wanked the amount. Wait a minute. Oh no, I'm wrong. Don't I. Who are you going to say? For someone who's wanked the amount. That you have.

There's no way you haven't wanked to a Doctor Who companion before. I haven't. I generally haven't. You've never wanked to Billy Piper. No. She was in a show where she like played like a call girl or something. I've never seen it myself but I know it happens

I know it's real I'd have to look at Google image the best one is I don't even know a name Cheers The one from Guardians of the Galaxy No No

It's one of the new The one that was with Peter Capaldi How can you even say that Because you never watch it No I don't care about her as a character, I just mean in terms of attractiveness. Oh, I don't care about that character.

Well, that's fucking kind of disgusting of you, Jesus. Yeah, which woman is the best? We're only rating them by the way they look, by the way. You fucking sicker. You make me sick. That's why David Tennant's the best doctor as well. Because he's the hottest one. He is the hottest one.

Oh, yeah, turn at a turn. No, but he actually is, though. You're on to something here. Because it ain't Matt Lucas or whatever his fucking name is. You know what I mean? The footballer guy. You see, I was about to say, wait, wasn't Matt Lucas the absorberoff?

No, that was monkey guy. No, it wasn't. It was fucking Peter Kay, wasn't it? I don't know the monkey guy. I literally have no clue what you're on about. The absorble off, you dick. Who the fuck's the absorble off? Ah, you...

Everyone knows the absorble off. Everyone knows the absorble off. And then he gets his... suck job piece of cement at the end. I remember thinking that was a fucking terrible episode. No, that was really bad. No, the absorble off is...

It's not him. It's not him, right? Oh, Doctor! He's not even in that episode, is he? The Doctor. Maybe that's why I thought it was lonely. No, he appears right at the end and he's like, take this, you absorbal off.

He fucking runs off. And Billy Piper's like, Like, yeah, sick, brov. Get out of you, you Zorba Love, Monster. She's a proper Cockney Londoner, aren't she? Thick move, man. Yeah. Stephen at Reel's home says,

Why do you hate mascot characters from games so much? Like? Because they're fucking terrible. No, they're not. Mario, awesome? Yeah, no. We just hate it on the bad ones. Crash.

Basically, Sonic. Spiro. Anything by Sega. Yeah Yeah Banjo Cazui Basically anything that was made in the 90s Yeah, all trash

There's been none since Um Surely there Nathan Drake is technically a mascot No He's just a fucking bloat He's just a guy just a white guy

well so they can only be a mascot of that amphiporphic whatever they're called um they're furry basically no but okay let me go through a few mascot characters

and we'll say if we like them or not Mario yes no legend actual legend you can't not like yeah there's nothing timeless I will say Luigi's better though Luigi is better Luigi is better but he's from the same franchise

is no okay that's fine uh captain falcon no as a smash mascot he's pretty awesome yeah he's like he doesn't even represent

f zero anymore he represents smash yeah Mega man no terrible I have more I have a respect for Mega man I don't I kind of like him

but kind of don't like he's fine yeah that's what I mean he's fine kind of respect him what about annoyed Avoid annoyed Awesome Actually next level incredible

Terrible Pac-Man Yep Yeah good Love Pac-Man You can't not like Pac-Man Yeah I remember the 3D Pac-Man game

Fucking love that Doctor Neo-Cortex Don't even know what he looks like No idea Yeah he do Is he the Crash one Yeah he's the villain Oh no he sucks

Terrible Yeah you he's trash man he's a trash man blinks the time sweeper what the fuck is that is that xbox original game that literally doesn't ring any pearls of vinci him he's terrible he looks like a like a rare i wouldn't say he's a mascot of nobody's ever fucking heard of him he was there are people out there who love blinks marcus phoenix awesome legendary actually incredible yeah you can't not

he's voiced by jake the dog for fuck say don't be cringy now incredible love love love dom we all have our our weaknesses Sonic the headshot shit

Sonic sucks dude Sonic is the worst like at least at least with like some of these mascots that I don't like I can respect them I can respect their games because the

games quite good. But like Sonic, you can just eat my ass dude, he sucks. His games are they're unfun. They're shite. Like the only good one is like that one that came out like a year ago. Uh... that was on Switch or whatever. Oh yeah, Sonic Mania. Yeah. It was like, yeah.

It took us 30 years to make one... Yeah. Because what it is is like referencing and like, look, we fixed the terribleness from the old ones. Yeah. Not made by Sega, remember. I love it. I love going in on Sonic because it really upsets people. And then on the Sony side, uh, Kuro and Toro?

What game? Kuro and Toro? What game? Kuro and Toro? Never heard of them. I'm skipping then. Sack boy. Yes, fucking sat boy's great.

Um... The big planet's so good for us on. Yeah, like I like the game. I like his design Yeah But he doesn't have like staying power Yeah But he's a good mascot

He's such a PS3 Yeah Where it's like Yeah he's all right Type one Not very memorable I'd say good Good

Because he's the design's good It's just missing something It's missing staying power It's missing being a mascot basically Yeah Yeah Even though they tried their damnedest Yeah

First one's so good The metal gets a lot of DLC And finally Gex Nah, Gex is cool Nah, Gex sucks Gex from what? Gex

from a Gex What about a ukulele? A ukulele sucks There's loads more out there Master Chief is a mascot Obviously incredible Every cover car from Fosa

No You don't think Master Chief's a good mascot No, he's been diluted Yeah No, but Halo 1 to 3 chief Yeah, but 1 to 3 chief Isn't even the same What?

One is different from 2 It's a bit just Dirty, you know? Like Mario He ain't never changed He does, idiot You go from pixels to not pixels Fuck's sake, from 64 Jim, you can't defend his...

On Gex Gex sucks, dude Gex fucking is lame He's a fucking nice guy Jack and Dexter Gex 3 deep cover Gecko Is Jack

Jack, do people like Jack and Dexter? Yeah, fuck me Yeah, because naughty dog Oh, was that them? Oh, Crash Bandicoot Shit, trash Beyond Good and Evil Beyond Good and Evil

Fucking shit Half-Life Awesome No, he's in Portional, Michelle. She's definitely a mascot. I wouldn't call her a mascot. I'd say the villain is the mascot. Gordon Freeman.

No, he is. He is. But the mascot of Portal is Glados. Literally, fucking every character from Team Fortress do is a fucking mascot. Yeah. Put them anywhere and it's just like... Even the Overwatch characters,

I reckon they are better mascots than like Crash Bandicoot. Like Tracer. Yeah. Because Trace is the main one. Yeah. No. She's better than... She's on the cover of the game.

She's better than Crash. Yeah, 100%. I guess. I don't really like either. No, but like... You know? I never play Tracer, to be honest. I never made Tracer.

I did. Had a lot of fun playing as Tracer. No, I was edgy. Never have fun playing Crash Bandicoot. there's not a single good one I love this topic because I just love picturing people out there like

don't you fucking talk about geeks that way because there will be at least one who unsubscries because of the gex thing I can't fucking tear this is the end of jar we talk shit on gex we're going down

yeah like the commentary community is going to be like you're not going to fucking gas what you'll make you done this time Let's do another one. I'm just thinking of mascots now. Counter-Strike, a bit of a mascot. Actually, yeah, there's no... There's no, like...

There's no character. Yeah, whatever. Captain Price. Nah, shit. He kind of is, though. He's a mascot. He's literally been in all of them since, pretty much. His design's been in cods since the number fucking one.

Yeah. He ain't got nothing on, like, Master Chief or... He's got more character than Master Chief. He doesn't have shit on Mario. But if you just go by how many people like, or even just know, just know what that character, like, means and the franchise he belongs to, it's going to be a big number. Definitely a mascot.

Yeah, but everyone knows who Crash Bandicoot is and... He's shit, too. The same Spiro. Yeah, but they have nothing. Captain Price, Alex Has a big fat mustache And it's awesome And he's got so many good dialogue lines

Jim, say one of them Quick fucking go for it What about the Skyrim guy That's not Yeah The Dove, the Dragonborn I would just say like

Any, any Pipboy character It's quite a good mascot Yeah the pit boy Pit Boy is good Yeah he's good I've never properly finished a fallout game But you can't deny how charming and cool

Yeah The pit boy is The pit boy is the main reason I wanted to Yeah That's the main reason I always Get through the slog that is all of those games That's the main reason I try and play them It's like this aesthetic's really cool

Yeah Good art direction Fuck I've actually been thinking about New Vegas There's a reason why I've been thinking about New Vegas. Because I've been reading so many quotes

from New Vegas recently. Isn't there next game out soon? Out to worlds. Out of worlds, yeah, so we're really soon. Next month?

Do you think it's really transparent though when these game companies try and make a new mascot? Yeah. Like Halo 5 would lock

and Gis War 4 with JD and shit. And Giz was just like oh shit this isn't turning out. They instantly changed it to her like Gets 5. Well, the same with

HALO 5. They already abandoned that shit. Or you mentioned ukulele it's like so obvious like look it's a banjo-kazui type yeah because it was from the banjocazui people like why not just

if you're a good dev think of something new yeah okay so what would you say what about Pikachu oh fuck Pikachu is the second best mascot yeah that exists

after Mario Mario I to be honest I might put him above Mario It's tricky. It's just that I prefer Mario games. I prefer Mario games, obviously, but... So, what...

The design is... I fucking love Pikachu. What characters from last, like, few years would you say, have, like, started to become, like, a bit of a mascot? In your opinion. Well, it's also, like... It's so serious now. Yeah.

It's like... Cretus from God of War. What about Salare from Dark Souls? Um... He's like the... He ain't like a Marrier or someone like that, but he's like the... He's like the indie movie equivalent.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. There aren't mascots. Even in movies and that, there's still mascots for series. Well, there's a reason the 90s sucked,

and it was because of mascots and shit like that. Yeah, everyone needs. We didn't really do that anymore because we've grown out of that. Now we're in the edgy phase. The Joker phase. It's never gonna end. Jack White Fan at Hall 9,000 says, favorite thing you own? My answer is something I picked up recently. My bed, I'm sorry. Mine, I, in our town, um...

a shop was closed down and they were selling this it was like a wine shop and they had this huge cigar um what do you even call it

like a cigar it's just a wine case yeah cigar case we've actually we've been to this like we supported this shop we would buy cigars and our government it was like a so they were selling this like

six foot cigar case and I went bought it and it's the nicest piece of furniture I own now it is actually really nice it really adds so much character to your living room like it's by far the most characterful thing in that one yeah because it's like and I'm saying a lot for your womb because it's there's so much character in yeah it's not like it's not something you see every day it's just such a bizarre thing to own you know that's why I wanted it and it's actually been used quite well as well it's like the whiskey well I put my whiskey in there cigars in there other bits and bobs

Because how we found out about it is Ruben posted it in our group chat And I was just like I saw it was like Alex You've got to buy this This has to happen James was really into the idea I told you about Ruben putting it in the group chat And then I told you how much it was

And you were like Oh Yeah But then like I was around At my parents' house And my dad was like Yeah I'm just going to pop down to the shop

Before it closes And I was like It's a sign I'm just going to go along And I had a look at it and was like Fine It's fucking great I love it

I reckon I would have bought it if I'd have been the one that went For the shop instead of you If I had a house I probably would have fucking bought it It would have ended up in one of our hands Like no other way It's like that's how Yeah it's destined to be

Yeah because like every other piece of furniture I have Like from IKEA or John Lewis or some shit And it's like It's not the same weird, unique, fucking... Yeah. Camden it. It's great.

Um, an honest answer of mine would be the graphics card within my PC. Show gamer answer. See. That's a Jake. If I actually own my dog, if he was mine, I'd say my dog, but he's technically not mine.

I don't think of pets as possessions. Yeah. They're companions. Yeah, they technically are. Yeah, they technically are. are, which is even more messed up when you think about it. Yeah. Can you put a price on life? We buy and trade... Life.

Just things that are alive. Yeah. Because we like to touch them. Yeah, it's kind of creepy. It's kind of fucked up. There is sort of a symbiotic relationship, though, with pets. Well, it depends on the person

that owns it. Especially dogs and cats more so than... Yeah, yeah. Than other pets, you know. Like a fucking... gerbil, I ain't given that much back debatably. Chinchella's though. No,

I don't think a gerbil really wants to be kept in a cage and that sort of thing. Anyway, this is a nasty topic. Okay, I'd probably say my car. My new car.

That's a good answer. Like that quite a bit, even though I haven't driven it, or actually moved it in three months. Do you actually have an actual answer, Jim? His graphics card? Just one of the... Something.

The friendship he holds of us, or me? Yeah, that's my prize possession. Is you two. Good. That's the wholesome answer. To gambler. says what is each of your favorite ways to eat eggs don't just not at all James has never eaten an egg I love egg mayonnaise strange answer but I'll take it actually I like I'd I just

have them just hide that's technically boiled then isn't it what you boil the egg no I egg mayonnaise is different to boiled eggs but boiled eggs are awesome I don't believe there is a bad way to do eggs. Unless you like cramped them into boiling water, then that would be an issue. But like

fried eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, egg mayo, poached eggs, all good. My least favourite then is poached. Yeah. Because it's the healthiest. Is it? Yeah.

Because you weren't using butter or oil or anything like that's cooking. You're not using that on, boiled eggs yeah I guess it must be similar then to boiled I don't know yeah well it is boiling it but you're like

boiling it out of the shell with a pretend shell oh fuck let's do this one from Saturn Saturn's bars that's a guerrillas reference music girls currently listening to or any media that's currently being

consumed. See, this is a really hard one. You can probably end on this one. Recently, I'm doing something that is the twist in the Jarmedia plot line. And I'm watching old Marvel movies. That's right, yeah, you watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which is the best Marvel movie.

I watched Winter Soldier recently. Enjoyed that. That's a good one. Yeah, I'm going through the old. Marvel movies, you know, listening to new music, watching anime or an anime. Yeah, just plow him through my time. Any notable standouts, Jim, from you? I watched a Pineapple Express.

Thoughts? Eh. It's not as bad as I remembered. It's not as bad as I was expecting, but it's also... It's not, like, great, right down the middle. It's not good. It's just good. kind of bad which kind of makes it more annoying so it's like just with a bit more

time and effort put into like a better script than yeah could have been better but i don't know if they're capable of a better script yeah yeah i've watched mind hunter season two which is awesome um yeah me too this might be my favorite show now um yeah yeah like the the best thing before it was breaking bad. Hmm. Probably, yeah. Like, it is seriously that good. Yeah, like, I have basically no complaints.

No. I'd really recommend that, especially if you liked anything David Finchery, a kind of dark, oppressive type, almost hopeless kind of entertainment. But it's not one of those Netflix shows that feels, like it's just cramming stuff in there to fill a few episodes they are making the most of their time

yeah it actually has an episode less in the first season well with that said fucking see ya bitch