JAR Media Posdact - Slippery Discoveries! - CornCast #2

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

The JARCAST will return once the pandemic calms down. https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to episode two of the Corncast. I'm your host, Alex, joined here, as always, by James, the passionate... Hello, hello. Jim, over there somewhere. Hi! And over there, you can hear giggling, Reuben. I'm just happy to find you. We've found him

Out in the wild We completely found him again Sneaky bugger You know for a long time I think I just lost myself there You know Before we get any deeper Before we get any deeper

Let me just set out of patrons Over a job Patreon Who we can thank for the audio version of the show So how are we doing then In quarantine Have we been surviving? surviving.

Oh, you know. It's been a difficult week. It's been a... How long has it been now? How long have we been in this? I'm going to be serious and say that I don't know anymore. It's almost two weeks. It's two weeks Monday.

Almost two weeks and we're projected to be, what, matter of months? Yes. Years, I heard. About six years. You know, I'm pretty sure they're just going to write off the entire generation. I'm starting to forget which day's rich. I've just lost all correlation between days, weeks. It's all the same now.

Every day is exactly the same. That kind of reminds me of a song by a little-known band called Three Centimeter Forecepts. What we've been doing to leave ourselves from going insane then in this time? Jesus Christ, what a question. You know, it's been, it's been a really, it's been a really hard week, but something that's helped get me through it has been the mass consumption of Easter eggs.

I've eaten a silly amount of. They were really cheap, weren't they, at the start? They were all, like, half, because shops do deals, like, the four weeks before. Think about how many are just sat in warehouses. There must be just thousands of Easter eggs. We should have a, we should do an Easter egg heist. that would be a good idea but i've eaten like five already like this week like five big ones um yeah i mean i'm finally that activating my night vision has been you get through it's a lot clearer than i was before

did you get those from the modern warfare two special edition i did actually yes i did get them from that i have the rcd under the chair but it's a little bit you know he's a bit shy that's black ops i think you'll find yeah i know i i i got that one as well all right ubin loves collecting a special special editions, especially for Call of Duty. Yeah, my favourite franchise. Call of Duty. You reference COD so much that I just like glaze over as soon as I start hearing like Cod and NermanGlaid. They genuinely did pack Night Vision goggles into the Modern Warfare 2, the ultra limited edition thing.

And they were like the cheapest Chinese copy night vision goggles you could possibly buy. Didn't one of them have like an RC car? That was the Blacklist one, the RCXD. He already said that, he said the R-CXD. Idiot. Maybe you should learn your coddling. Wait, did they do a fucking drone for Black Ups 2? Could you get a...

They did do that. Really? A real drone. They did a quadro to a fucking drone thing. Yeah. See, Alex... We talk about Cod a lot because we're passionate now because Cod has been reborn. It's like the second coming of Christ.

Cod is back, baby. It never went away, though, did it? No, it has been... No, it hasn't. It's always been like the best-selling game. No, it did go And that's There's proof of that

The fact that none of us played them None of us bought them We have all bought the recent one Because Codd is back It was back better than ever Mm-hmm Is that so, huh? No, no, yes

And you know who's someone who will agree with me Someone who I've been watching a lot of recently To get past quarantine A good old Indie YouTuber called the act man. Oh, the act man. Yeah, yeah, I've been watching his videos.

He's your American double-ganger, James. I know, and it's nice to watch someone talk about Cod who is actually like a long-term, like, fan, like I was. It's really nice, and I'm binging all of his Cod videos, and it's a really great time. He's bang on about Cod specifically. I haven't watched any of his others, it's just Cod, but he's a very very knowledge war on it

and he's discovered the act man with the uh the halo stuff Halo 5 videos I think were the ones that caught my eye something about how bad Halo 5 is which of course I was interested in it's pretty poo poo I've stuck around ever since I think I will be a fan now because I really do enjoy videos have we been entertaining ourselves with them to stop us from going insane? What's there of note? I played Crisis 2 and 3.

What inspired you play Crisis 2 and 3? Well, you see, I had a month of Origin premiere because I wanted to play basketball 3 and 4 on PC. I just wanted to play them on PC because I was an active community. Maybe I'll have a good time. I like those games. I had a bad time on them, but I still had a month of Origin premiere. I was just like, what have they got in this shit? oh yeah crisis two

crisis three i've played crisis two before really astoundingly mediocre games there's something there's something quaint about them because they're so they're just so dedicated

to trying to be something they really were trying to be something they were nothing I remember when crisis two came out it was all about like well it was the same of crisis one too it's just the graphics everyone's like

look at the graphics The graphics, they're awesome, right? And they got these... Nguyenuily looks amazing on VC, genuinely look good. What is it? Are they still got like those aliens with the like tentacles? Yeah, yeah, they made them look a bit... They made them a bit more, I don't know, interesting, if you want,

by the time Crisis Three was... What are they called? Ceph. The C-E-P-H. Fuck, that's right, the C-E-P-H. Yeah, everything had to be around. They had to see. It's C-TEC.

I remember... Jesus, everything in it? No, James got on. I bought that game or got given that game when it first came out. I remember. It was impulsive on console though, wasn't it? It looked like trash. It was... It was really bad because it was like it wasn't clear.

It's like because of the limitations of the console. It was like really kind of pixely almost. Like... Things weren't standing out. Yeah, muddy. Yeah. the resolution must have been so low on, like,

pretty much everything except the characters, like, arms and the gun, they must have had the resolution up a bit on that. And everything else. The only thing I can remember by that game is that you used a bow and arrow, because that was, like, the trend then. Like, that game is just so forgettable.

Shit, you're right, yeah. That was the bow and arrow year. It was, like, Team Raider came out. That had the bow and arrow. Codd had the burn arrow or something. Did it? What year was crisis through? Was it 2013 or 2012?

yeah i think it would be 2013 all crisis three makes me think of is um the cynical brit total biscuit because it was one of 2015 yeah i remember him making a video about how impressive it was on pc and i didn't have like a really powerful pc at the time so it was like whatever this doesn't really apply to me but christ it does look really good it does i mean i i i sent a screenshot of it um i sent a screenshot of it um i sent a screenshot of it to the group show ages ago or like when i was playing it and because it just really it did genuinely really impress me but still to be a very good game or anything that's the thing like you have to play it at some point it doesn't really matter how good it looks yeah the game it's really trying to be

like halo and cod at the same time and it just fails to be or like battlefield I guess a little bit too but it just doesn't manage to be any of them very well and and it's just kind of this lame first person shooter game with lame stealth mechanics and and enemy AI that are just fucking terrible. The thing with that the crisis is the actual like suit stuff is actually

kind of interesting. It's a nice play style to have like the armor you know, agility. Yeah. But the game otherwise is so unforgettable that it just makes that nice thing just pointless. My favorite thing about

it is that everything that the suit does has to be called like nano something just because so you'll go into what is just like thermal and it'll be like nano vision come on it's just it's just a thermal this is just the predator for fuck's sake nanomachines

sun fuck sake I was going to do that so yeah that's what I've done I've played a bunch of just sort of weird games lately from the past what about like music Run the Jules have released some

singles lately but I can completely missed until recently and I went back to listen to them because they just released what was it called you remember Ruben La La La La La and Yankee and the Brave yeah yeah you like la la they teased a snippet of like two months ago or something I remember that just play just the beat it was just the beat so we're all the fans have run the Jules run for the Jules but I keep getting frustrated at like how long we've been waiting for the fourth album

and they keep teasing it and finally have a couple singles to get a bit of a taster. Yeah, now I don't mind, because once they release two singles, I guess it means the album's coming soon. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. It's definitely not far away. It's pretty close. It's obviously with the current situation it's like everything's a bit delayed,

so... You'd have thought it'd be done, though, right? You know, the album is... I think it must be. It's definitely done. It's all marketing stuff now. Yeah. And marketing is actually... good like the whole style they've done for the last two singles has been really good really pops in the eye I do like the color scheme that they've been going for

on the covers James did you say you didn't like ooh la la but you liked Yankee the brave is super aggressive it's so harsh and that is kind of been their thing since the beginning and just I didn't drill as much of U la la but I have I haven't listened to it much. It's just, this is normally like a first impressions type thing. So I need to listen to it more to get better. I'm the inverse of you. I think Ulala is much better than...

Ulala is great. I'm now struggling to think, which I haven't, I've intentionally not listened to them so much recently because I want to actually enjoy them when I hear them. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm struggling to record them right now. I can't... All I can think of us like, ooh la la, I remember that.

The one way Killer Mike says, I'm a dirty dog. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh yeah, yeah. And he says I'll pull out my penis and piss on the shoes. Yeah. So any doubt is like, kind of, I'm excited for it. I did today watch fucking Calvin Harris. He's done two live streams of just like DJ sets, just on a blue screen.

Yeah, I just watched them It was like three hours I always forget about Cameron Harris Because I haven't cared about him since like 2010 Because he made the shift, didn't he? What's he been? Yeah, yeah Well, I don't know, his music

And now, I mean, I guess he's obviously tried to stay with friends For that But the thing that he did on his two On the two live streams It's this new project that he's been releasing music under called Love Regenerator Which is a bit more You know, it's like an actual

style I guess it's meant to be like a 90s house music throwback thing so he's clearly having a good time making him yeah he's having a good time making it and it was like nice to watch a bit nostalgia yeah

oh that's kind of cute yeah yeah what else of note of music-wise should we be listening to Rubin hmm Let me think, just don't want to get too distracted by the TV that's on. Ooh, I don't know.

Unlocked? Unlocked? Unlocked, this great album? Yeah, Denzel Curry's thing with Kenny Beats. Unlocked. Very short, very punchy, just nice little time. Yeah, it's like 20 minutes, isn't it? It's not even 20 minutes.

It might be like 17 minutes. It's really, really short. Yeah. But it doesn't ever stay as welcome, like a door. I mean, there's a song called Weed Man, which I... Just one song that I like. Weed Man. Yeah.

That's a good side. I'd recommend Weed Man by Channel Trez or... Ray, I don't know. It's a just to everyone. Have any of you guys watched Contagion? Definitely not. Nope. I've not really watched any films.

I've just been watching... Um, Betta Cool Soal. I've been catching up on Better Cool Soal. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not up to date on it currently. What is it now, season five? Yeah. I've watched like two episodes of season five. Why did you choose to start from the beginning again then?

Just to get up to date? Well, I didn't... When I watched the first two episodes, I realized I didn't have a... I just was like, I don't know. I just was like, I don't know. understand what's happening so i need to watch this again i just none of it made any sense i was like why is he doing who are these people and and you kind of just trust you know you could watch it and just like trust that what's happening makes sense but i i thought i'd actually rather really

know what's happening yeah yeah there are certain shows that's really hard to keep track like i've i've been watching the sopranos and there's so many different italian names i just like can't keep track. Like with Game of Thrones What do you mean? You've got Mikey, Benny. Game of Thrones though. Like it was so hard to keep track of all the families and the narrative. There's so much shit going on.

I honestly, it's hard for me to say because I, the way I watched that show was so strange. I didn't really ever have to take a break from it. I mean, remember I watched season one, then didn't watch it for ages. I watched two, three, and four.

Then I didn't watch any of it for years. And then just when the last season was being released, everything up to it until I was up to date, and then just watched the last, like, three episodes with everybody else. So you have the, like, DVD of the season. I did. I had the DVD box set of season one. Which had the...

What was it, George Bush, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a George Bush, like, head they had. Yeah, I had that. Had that DVD box set. Like, um, on a... What was it? Like, a... theme with loads of heads on spikes yeah heads on pikes and then they had a George

Washington prop not George Washington George Bush but didn't they like edit it out or something I think so yeah for like later releases surely maybe I don't know saying that because you only it's like you know you only see it for a few frames yeah I don't remember set people though in these sensitive times you know what I'm saying yeah I mean the coffee cups won't be in it that's for sure the coffee cups won't make it back into the like DVD box sets yeah oh yeah that I started watching that show and I got past season like um one and I was like half a few season but this was at the time when everyone was angry at the last season so I just completely dropped it and I was just like I'm not going to be able to enjoy this

because I know that that's the thing about that show that now though it's like hard to recommend knowing the way it ends it's like really lame because there are four or five really good seasons in there but if the ending is that lame it is really hard to recommend I know Jim loved it though yeah yeah

what have you been doing Jim what have you been entertaining yourself with playing we've been playing you've been digging yeah playing a bit of yeah I sometimes just by myself

you fucking need that helmet by the sounds of it can you make that joke that's not cool bro what do you mean it's not cool you saying that bro why's that Jim do you bang your head often well American football players

they wear like armour and they still get like concussions and all this um resident evil three came out today uh the day we're recording this really you can see it on the tv there yeah i've played it for like two hours did you actually buy it yeah oh i've i've just been on a spending spree since this whole thing yeah jim's been been fucking mentor i've been trying to like make him stop i've bought modern warfare like twice i bought the re i pre-ordered the remaster, I bought Resident Evil 3, I bought a fucking VR...

Don't ask, I bought Resident Evil 3, I bought a VR headset, I bought half-like-allakes. Wait, wait, so, I forgot about that, you bought the VR headset. Have you, have you messed around with it? I haven't used it because it's in quarantine at the moment. Because I came from Swindon. You haven't opened it? like, the cool down period is apparently like 72 hours.

The virus can't live longer than that. So it's in quarantine. See, I've heard that you can live for like 14 days or something like that. Yeah, well, I'm playing a fucking half-like Alex on Saturday. Jokes on that virus, because if it kills you after three days, it's going to die too.

That's a stupid thing about viruses that kill you. They're just killing themselves. should be to like do nothing basically it's to be dormant hanging out

you know like gut flora oh yeah yeah gut flora helps how passionate I am about

gut flora yeah they hang out and they sweep you know yeah and they see it

I've been bottles in the ice like a blizzard so you're telling me No one knows the words. He bought a VR headset from Swindon, and you're too scared to put it on for fear of the VR headset being infested with coronavirus.

The moment you lift it up, they're all going to jump into eyes all the coronaviruses. Well, that's the thing. You literally put it on your face. You know, the old saying, better safe than have to worry about being sorry. Never heard of that. apparently like um if you get corona even if you are a young lad young strapping young lad

you can get like um some horrible side effects like uh dot there your smell and stuff like that like oh yeah that's like a sign that you've got it is if you if you lose your sense of smell is it i've lost like years ago do you lose your sense of smell just full stuff oh no i don't think so but it's just like it's just a sim really it's just isn't the um i don't i don't i don't i don't i haven't confirm this but isn't you become infertile isn't that like an actual thing oh no I haven't heard anything about that yeah I don't know yeah I don't know that's anything to do but if you have it it permanently makes you infertile is what I've

heard no I haven't had any of that I wouldn't I wouldn't believe that well I do believe it Rubin the coronavirus is caused by 5G birds are falling out of the sky that's the thing isn't it like people think people people why do you think I'm wearing this helmet You know what? Yeah, I'm putting my fucking night pigeon back on. I was on Facebook, you know, quarantine Facebook in. And someone, we tweeted these five videos, and it was all people explaining what they thought the coronavirus actually was. So someone was walking on the street with a radiation detector, like a fucking guy...

For God's sake. The other one was filming birds on the floor that had been killed. And then the other one was... was in a car like explaining how 5G is the cause of the coronavirus didn't consider that the coronavirus is everywhere 5G isn't it's the most fucking dumb conspiracy theory i've heard yet my thing that has been frustrating me the most at the moment about it is when you know it's like oh someone that's young died they had no underlying health conditions but it's like yeah but What if their immune system

suck? Then it's like, I bet they were forced and underweight or something. There's not enough information given about the people that actually die of it. And I'm like, man, could we just know a little bit more, please? I just want to know a little bit more about this person. Apparently, a huge amount of the cases are actually people that are, like, obese.

Oh, boy, Jim, don't say that. You're way more vulnerable if you're obese. And then isn't the most of the fatalities, like over 60? that's yeah primarily i mean yeah it's it's primarily like the over 60 and i look at how many people died of flu in the UK in between 18 and 93,000 people the government the deaths that can be attributed to having flu um so i was just like well maybe if the coronavirus numbers stay under that that's not too bad yeah that would be um pretty good i like seeing the different stretch my legs a sec I see these people with scarves, like, wrap round their heads.

People who can't... People who can't get face mask actually using, like, scarves. They're, like, wrapping their face and loads of layers of scars to try and stop. But does that actually do anything, though? Like, just wrapping a scarf around your mouth? I would have thought... The face masks don't really do anything. Like, none of that stuff knows anything.

Like, if it's okay, your eyes, when ears. If it wants. If you put it on wrong, it's, like, even more of a risk. Yeah, if you've got facial hair, you're just doing nothing. And you're touching your face way more as well. Yeah. Like, you just don't bother. Like, don't actually bother with any face.

The thing about the face masks. No, the face mask is good for people, if you're trying to not introduce a foreign contaminant from your skin to the rest of the world. That's what the face mask. That's why surgeons wear. You're trying to not spit into the fucking chest you're operating on. Yeah.

Not to stop breathing in bacteria because they go through anyway. Like, it's not like a, a ventilation mask that has filters which are fully airtight like i've used did you ever see that picture of the like when when this wasn't that big of a deal there was a guy on the underground in london wearing a gas mask he was smart he was smart yeah he was ahead of the curve yeah everyone laughed at him at the time i think there's a watch on to tell him how long his filters had left it's only three minutes on one of those bad boys Actually, I've worn like a, a gasmust like that.

And they're so fucking uncomfortable. They are so horrible. And you sound like Darth Vader all the time. Like, you do. You just, you can't talk, you can't breathe properly, it's shit. But it's safe. If you want to guarantee that the coronavirus has not getting through your eyes, you need to wear big prayer night vision goggles at it.

Just constantly at all times. Nothing. No foreign contaminants getting into my face. with a helmet as well preferably Jim do you remember our granddad had these like World War II gas masks yeah yeah I'd love to creepy I'm so upset that he got rid of all that stuff

yeah he sold it all yeah why didn't you just give it to us it's kind of a lack of foresaw in his part I think you need a huge lack of foresight I mean I think it'll be quite illegal for us to have a lot of the stuff he had yeah it'd be sick as fuck there yeah it would be awesome

it'd be the best job Popps. Yeah, weird. Yeah, what were the rifles he had? We couldn't get any of it out because we get like investigate by the police. That would make it all the more funny. Just these mounted rifles on the wall. Yeah, are they planning a terror attack?

Is that what this is? I mean, they were deactivated. I'm pretty sure the bolt action rifle from Red Dead was owned by my grandfather. The very same one, I mean. Is that the one? Was that actually what it was? actually what it was. Yeah.

Are you sure? You never saw it. You don't know. No, Jim, there's the, um, there's the classic, uh, video that we made when we were kids there and we like use it in the Halloween family. Well, he had multiple, but he had multiple rifles. Um, did he? Yeah.

He had like two or three. Were they not the same rifle? I remember they had, didn't they like bayonets on them? No, one of them had a, had a, had a banette. I almost had bayonet. Oh shit, what do you think of the new Smash Bros character? What one? I haven't heard this.

Yeah, right. Come on man, just put in fucking Dark Souls. Put in fucking Minecraft Steve already. Minecraft is essential. No, Dark Souls, Minecraft, Steve and... Yeah, Knight Saleo be fucking... Wait, no, arms works. Arms is a good idea and you know it is.

No, it's not a good idea. Why would you have arms when you could just have Ray... have ray... The same fucking thing. His arms extend or fists fly out from his body. Oh, no. Arms deserves it. Yeah.

No, but arms is an Nintendo product. Obviously, it's easy to get it. A collection of like all the iconic characters and stuff. There's a fucking iconic about arms. Yeah, there is. There's... I didn't. Who gives a fuck about arms?

That's the thing. It pretty much flocked. I'm pretty sure. It was terrible. Point at the number of people who care about arms for me, would you? Yeah, I really wish

I didn't buy like Smash Bros season pass thing because I was only happy with one character, I think, and that being Banjo and Jazeoui. I hardly fucking play it. Yeah.

But if they had in Minecraft Steve or even Doom Guy I'd prefer more, you know? Oh, dude would piss me off. Oh, you know, I just realized something that we've not talked about though which is a big deal for the switch a bunch of good shit announced and other very likely rumors like um supermarrow sunshine super

mary galaxy super galaxy too i got the 3d merry games all very very fucking highly like rumored to be coming for maria thirtieth anniversary yeah for real yeah i'm fucking excited yeah mary galaxy wanted to and mary sunshine oh that's like oh yeah and Mary 64 of course games you can think of dude also remastered Mario 64 no Jay's Burnout Paradise is coming to it as well okay then that's fine

that's a good time as is the Bioshock collection which I want to play that again Bioshock games I thought that would be a good place to play why play that when you can actually do something really smart and play arms yeah but Mario

you all those Mario games it's like enough people what's his name is it Jason Shreyer. Big deal, right? The Kotaku guy. Yeah, yeah. He was like, yeah, he reported it as well.

So, basically true. Basically happened. Yeah, no, he's actually pretty good for that kind of leaking stuff. He did all those, like, destiny behind the scenes, you know, pieces. Yeah. So, really, he's a hacker. He's hacking the mainframe and exposing data. That's kind of gross.

He's not good sources, eh? No, he is the source of all. evil in corporate world you know i'm pissed about what i did um i did orie in the will in the wisps on fucking uh on the hardest difficulty all the achievements are broken basically like half the achievements so like every i did like all the hardest shit in the game and didn't get anything for it so i'm furious but that's what you get it's good game though good game. Have you finished it yet, Jim, or are you a child?

No, I've been playing good shit, like modern warfare war zone. Yeah. I want to fucking touch on the Auri and the Will of the Whips. That last boss fight, fuck me. It's awesome. I listened to a review of it where they said it was too hard and I was like, shut out. It was

hard, but like grow up, yeah, grow up and just fucking practice. What they don't like is a platform have forced them to like learn how to do a fight like in Dark Souls. That's what they don't like. Yeah, because I've mastered it now. I can destroy that shit. Yeah, yeah. I remember getting upset, like annoyed by the first boss fight I did, which was Crowlock. That was the first one I did. I don't know if that's the first one you have to?

I think you get a choice, don't you? Yeah, you can enslave breath of the wild you can do it in any order. Yeah, I did that one first. I was about like, what the fuck, man? This is actually fucking hard. It was annoying me because I was expecting just to blast through it. Like I would any fucking platformer. But no, the boss fights, you actually have to have to, kind of learn yeah um yeah that last fight when i mean i don't really want to spoil but the last phase of it when that happened what the fuck man it's awesome it was making me think actually that like that feeling of in awe you get this move called bash where you can kind of fling off enemies

that's what miss that's what's missing from sonic to me like that speed kind of shit if you yeah yeah sonic had that sonic would be awesome he's got he's got that he's got like a similar move where he's got that like homing strike he's got the homing attack but you need to that's in the 3d Sonic games oh yeah yeah you can't yeah you can't do it in the 2d ones um and the 2d ones give you such a ridiculous like such a small amount of screen in front of you that you have to react stupidly fast to threats i just don't mind them fun i think they're annoying no they had no innovation whatsoever it was just like well Mario jumps on heads and Mario is like the platformer, so we'll just do exactly the same thing as them.

Sonic's shit and unfair. Yeah. Did you try Sonic Mania, Rubin? Yeah, I do. I suppose be the good Sonic game. I mean, I have it on Switch, and I've, uh, several times now. I have, I've tried to, to play it, and I, I don't even know how to describe why I'm at in the game. I don't remember the name of the level, but I went back on it the other day, and I got through the two stages, and then there was a boss fight, and I was a little bit annoyed.

by the stages anyway because I find the games fucking aggravating I really want to like them though I really want to like them because I you know the music's pretty cool and it looks really nice Sonic Mania but

I just find the boss fight that I was doing I found it too annoying and it reminded me of playing 2D Sonic games on the game but it reminded me of playing Sonic Advance and I just didn't want to fucking finish it so I just I died in the boss fight and I just went to the home menu and closed it

and I'll just probably never go back to it Which is a shame because I do want to like it. Yeah, I feel like Jim would love that game. You fucking love Sonic. Yeah, I've seen the Sonic movie yet, Rubin? You've seen the Sonic movie? No, no, I was going to go see it. And then I don't remember why I don't.

No, that was it. I was kind of deterred because reviews were so all over the place. I wasn't sure. Bad, funny, boring, bad, or like kind of okay. I wasn't sure, so I just didn't, I didn't even want to bother risking it. Just eat loads of magic mushroom. then watch it, it's a fucking hell of a road, dude. I mean, apparently Jim Carrey is, it's, like, funny in it?

Because you're going nuts for the whole thing. He's, like, trying so hard to be iconic. Yeah, he is. He is. I liked all the Sonic stuff, though. Like, the actual stuff with Sonic Law, where it, like, shows the... Yeah. I gotta get the rings. Yeah.

They, like, contextualize all the bullshit. Dimensions. Nobody cares Sonic. I am looking forward to being able to watch it. I did try watching The Rise of Skywalker. Oh, really? Recently. I say try.

I say try because I couldn't finish it. Like, there I am watching it on my own. It's not even like, there's nothing funny about it. There's no, like, communal experience. I'm just watching it on my own at a desk. So I get to this. I got like 55 minutes to an hour into it, and then I just paused it because I was, I wanted to stop.

And then I go back to it. And it's the bit where, Ray is on the ship. Kylo Ren is like, oh, she's on the ship. So he goes back up to the ship and is going to tell her, he tells her something. And, you know, and then she fucks off on the Millennium Falcon anyway. And then there's some line.

Ray says something like, I'm afraid nobody knows me. And that was why I was just like, you know, fuck you, actually. I just turned it off. I'm not watching a fucking Star Wars film. With that, like that, I don't want that theme especially. I don't, oh, I'd sooner watch Avenger the Sith. I'd actually sooner watch any prequel.

That was enough for me. I was like, this is the wrong kind like bad dialogue. Bad, funny dialogue. It's just like bad, bad, bad dialogue. It is, yeah. So that was that, I gave up. It really reminded me of Star Trek into darkness

and what annoyed me about that. It's like, it's just funneling just a bunch of like iconography and famous lines and shit like that and like memes. You didn't get to the end, but there's stuff that happens that are just like so pandering to like the... Oh, I didn't like that stupid little, uh, the stupid thing.

You know, the stupid thing, the thing that fuck's about with C-3PO. Oh, that thing. Yeah, I didn't like that thing. I thought it was fucking lame. Yeah, was there? annoying. Absolutely. What is it?

Like a baby? I don't... It's a dibby, dude. So, yeah, I got an hour and five minutes into the Rose of Skywalker, and I kind of did not like it enough. It's the worst Star Wars movie ever made. Yeah. Yeah, no, it is.

I can't... I kind of can't believe it. I mean, see, the thing is, if I'm going to be, like, fair about objective filmmaking, you know, the prequels are always going to be kind of unforgivably, like, dog shit. They have the human factor there, Rubin, that's the thing. Yeah, if we're just going to go on, like, if we're going to talk about our enjoyment of them as well and things like that, then, yeah, no, there are as Skywalk, I can suck a cock. That's the worst I was from.

And on that note, No, Rose of Skywalker Can eat my ass Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah, on that note We'll be back up

to these messages Bye Want a dick on a shirt Check the description below Yeah, stop Alex, they're hurting me Welcome to the second half Of the jarcast

It's the fucking corncast It's the corncast Yeah, this is the part of the show will we answer questions from the Corncast community. Head over to the Corn Media Reddit if you want to ask us anything you'd like. I'm going to start off with this one from Dick the Head who just simply says,

can you please all tell Rubin that we love him very much? Heart, that is all. We haven't seen him in so long we can't really contact him in any way. So sorry, but then... If only someone knew where he was. Yeah. I'm actually going to die if you punch me again.

Jacking off in a strip club. But the real question from Dick the Head is, do you still stand by your opinions from Portal Gun Bum Fun or have they changed it? I was thinking about that video the other day because Max Mofo commented on the YouTube video, he commented. He did, just, yeah, I remember that. Honestly, what were the, what the fuck were the opinions of that video? I don't know. I was right. What were you right about?

You've got to explain yourself. Because you can't have portal gun bum fun without the portal being on something that you can move. Right. I don't get it. You can't blame me for trying, though, right? I can't blame you for trying. Ah, Jesus. I don't actually have anything to say.

I don't know. I was just for a moment. I can't remember what. of all of this you know I want to say I actually had to change the thumbnail of the title of that flag it's the best title we've ever had I swear I've changed one of them because we've had a few kind of edgy ones like one of them was like alien sex or something like that remember that um you just go i think remember that one yeah because the thumbnails the thumbnails were always just like,

just nonsense. Just, just, like, the worst. Like, just like, clip art. Like, it was like, um, making a collage in year one of school. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, dear. Golden. Golden. There's something so fucked up about calling Golden, pussy. You know, just golden. It's a good,

like, idea, though. What do you mean? idea. It's in like in a fantasy novel or something. The golden pussy. Yeah. Well. Okay. Thanks for answering that James. Thanks.

I have no idea. I'm not sure if James was actually in that video. Yeah, I don't think it was. He wasn't. Okay. Let's do this one then from Superior underscore H.D. or K-boys, says. With the inevitable release of Lego Minions, I have to ask if anyone is planning to purchase all the sets.

Yeah, I was. I mean, I wasn't, but Carrot Top might have been. Ugh. I almost feel obliged to get a Lego Minion. I don't know why. You mean a Bleach. If you're going to get a Lego Minion, you're going to get a Lego Fast and Furious. Wow.

What was it? There's Lego Fast and Furious now, isn't there? They made the iconic black car in Lego form. What's the car again? A dodger? A dodger? It's a pretty cool set to me. Yeah, it does actually look like a pretty decent set.

Forget about it. But I'm gonna buy it. How about this one? What is each of your favourite drunk slash high meal? Um, kebab. No, we've gone over this. We've gone over this because it's goo brownie microcuddings. Uh, Papa Tom.

Um, it's probably, well, I mean, look, are we talking just in the... To consuming, like, um, okay, so if I, oh my God, I'm just like, you know what, forget, I'm not going to address what's happened right now. I'm like, in, in, in... yeah reality where we reside uh samis you always you buy it you've probably already had dinner before you've gone and like gotten drunk and then you spend like six quid and then he kind of like why did i do that that's how i always felt then it's perfect oh then it's incredible yeah but you're probably pissed up like why would you eat samis when you've already eaten that's just like

defeats the point no you get like a large chips or something no you don't you just don't guess how many if you've eaten? So I'm not allowed chips, just small chips with garlic me. It's 2 a.m. So that's something I used to get sometimes. I get like a small chips with garlic mare. Yeah. I don't know if I really have a favourite.

You know, I am... Usually it's what I have available to me the next day after drinking. That's what's more important. I mean, I may not necessarily be hung over, but if I, you know, I just want to wake up and like consume something that just makes me feel in the fresher. You know? Like, yep. yeah beans

a bowl of beans nah honestly toast with cheese let's see like find the fish my dude find the goddain like left over curry

that's like an ultimate food to be left for me I like a cold curry no that's silly that's absolutely stupid Ruben James I will shoot you in the fucking head I swear to God

oh shit why is it stupid James come on chill show down well if the question is what food you eat after you've been fucked then obviously that's not the question

you just made that up obviously the answer is bread and butter no maybe cheese on toast no they're stupid we have this

fucking I keep getting I'm sorry I keep getting about how I'm third all of this is we We have this genuinely awful question from Knock-A-R-on. It might be the worst question we've ever gotten in history. Like the fucking worst question we've ever been submitted.

What Madagascar 2 characters are Madagascar 3 characters? Alex the Lion is Marty. What are you expecting from asking that, but genuinely? Yeah, fuck off. What does it mean? Are we supposed to have fucking answer that? You know what I mean? Who's Brian Cranston and Madagascar 2?

I guess he's the, he's Alex's dad. Um, wait. Hang on, what was a question? The question was what Madagascar 2 characters are Madagascar 3 characters? So that is it. I just wanted to make sure that I hadn't, missed that there actually was like a bit of a question it really is just because normally it's from like a different franchise that they ask yeah

characters are this but it doesn't really work when it's from the same franchise I'm afraid yeah try harder next time you fucking try harder next time you've got to point of the number of people who give a shit oh look go house of leaves nine has this to so in awe of the quarantine, if you could have an unlimited supply of anything for the duration of it, what would it be? Eggs. Eggs.

Eggs. They could have scramble eggs. They keep running out at Tesco, so. Beer, wine or rum. Oh, yeah, maybe just like wine, just like really good red wine for the whole thing. Um, Eastwags. That's a very James answer. So we all have our essentials then.

trying to think something i'm not missing out on at the moment unlimited supply of i don't know just one thing is hard i guess that yeah i guess i'd have to pick so if you're unlimited supply of something why wouldn't you choose filet mignon maybe you don't want fillet maybe you want something that's nice and marble do you want some in it because no you have a chassee balland yeah i want something marble jim fuck you You want T-Bone, goddamn Tomahawk, goddamn Belay mignon! Stop, both of you stop.

This is getting out of hand. There's a pool of blood here, James, it is out of hand already. We have this really messed up suggestion from... We better go over here. Joseph Z. Khan, who says, Would you accept 20 million pounds if the trade-off was that you had to manually control all of your bodily functions, breathing, blinking, heartbeat, digestion, etc.? It doesn't apply while you're sleeping, of course. You would die, though.

It's too much to focus on. Probably your head and patting your belly at the same time. Impossible. It's easy. You just sit down. You just sit down and just breathe. You don't do anything else but that. You become a living sloth.

like that's the easiest thing yeah I would not do that I would just I would not you would just die no not he just breathe okay what if you design a computer to put into your body like Tony Stark kind of puts a magnet in his body and it does everything for you yeah just because you're missing the Nerf gun doesn't mean you deserve to do that come on calm down okay so the answer from James is yes he totally would do that. And then he'd die.

Ruben would do it? Jim, what would you do? No, I'd go halfway. I'd breathe. You'd breathe for 20 million bucks. No, did you know this? If you think about the fact that you are capable of controlling your breathing, so everyone just like control their own breathing right now.

Yep. Right? Now, now you can't not be the way. not be the one that controls your breathing. Until you forget. What's your point? You're breathing on manual, and that's horrible. Yeah, you have to breathe manually

until you forget that you are capable of control. Look at me, everyone. Look at me, everyone. Look at me. I'm Alex. We have a great question from, superior underscore HDMI underscore cable

What do you guys Do you think it though Did he think it though I thought he already We already had someone called Superior H-GMI Didn't we? Did we?

What was that username just then? Was it the same one or another? The one we just answered was Joseph Zed Khan For the 20 million pounds For blinking and breathing What was the one you were just about to read out? Superior

HTML cable. Oh yeah, they've already had a question, but you know, I can have another one. I just thought there were HGMI related usernames in one go. Oh, I see, I see. No, but they ask, what are your guys thoughts on brand clothing? Do you think it's ridiculous to buy a sweater for $80 when you can pay 20? Or is there validity to paying more for supposedly better quality? Well, I don't know. I mean, like, okay, I've got, I've worn, you know, crappy sweatshirts. I used to wear them to school. in primary school but I then have worn in my adult life like a you know like a puma sweatshirt and you know it's definitely a higher quality it certainly feels thicker and warmer and things like that like the most part not necessarily but I mean if you're like Supreme or something maybe you're not gonna get what you pay

for it's no there's a price range when you go let's be realistic when you go about for jumper when you go above like a hundred there's no quality difference but everything in between from like 20 to 100 there is quality difference yeah that's a pretty good way of putting it yeah

I'd say I'd say it depends on how much money you have yeah like you're not gonna spend a hundred on a fucking sock you know if you're rich

then why the fuck not you know it might want like really nice silk socks you know yeah yeah and the reason they're so expensive is because

you know they take like man can it's it's like an exclusive it's an exclusive sock yeah it's an exclusive sock you know what I'm saying no you know what's your thoughts on brands then I guess they're in saying that like the same t-shirt without the brand would be worth you know less obviously well yeah I don't know sometimes it's nice to own like a branded item

maybe because yeah I mean possibly of a higher quality but then I have there are certain places for example than an A-sos You know, if I want to buy just like a block color t-shirt, it's likely I'm going to buy it from ASOS, for example. That's why I buy it from. But I wouldn't buy it from Primark for whatever reason. That's how I have, that's the way I value things for whatever reason. I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

I mean, maybe it's wrong with me to turn my nose up for Primark, but or maybe, I don't know, it doesn't fucking matter. I buy my fucking T-shirts from ASS as my point. Wow, bitch. Yeah, I do the same. I do the exact same. Yeah, man. James, tell me the truth.

The truth, Alex. The truth, look at me. The truth. No, stop. The truth. That's a good one. The truth is this, Alex. Oh my God.

You can shoot yourself in the head. Okay, we got this one from a goat man's uncle who says, The last cast got me thinking. What is the cast of Man? Madagascar as infectious diseases slash viruses. No, this is it. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. We're stopping with the Madagascar question.

No, we have to find a good. Okay, the Penguins of Madagascar are all of the flu variants. I mean, that's fair. Who's corona? Yeah. In the Madagascar universe. King Julian. Oh, no, King Julian.

King Julian. Yeah. No, I disagree. I like to, no, I agree with that. Yeah. You know, I'd agree with that. I like to move it. What about AIDS?

Who's AIDS? AIDS. Aides. Um, no, it's, it's probably, uh, Motto. Why was your reason? Um, because, uh, I don't know. Because he definitely, being... Has AIDS.

He definitely has it. He definitely has it. He definitely has it. He definitely has it. Any other diseases? Um... Crocodile is not a drug disease. I'm trying to say.

What's crocodile as a Madagascar character, James? Um, crocodile that eat the duck in Madagascar 1. It's gonna say aren't there actually just crocodiles in... I've not watched Madagascar 1 in a very long time. long time it's not very good is it is quite funny and then the crocodile like snaps it up you know what I'm saying yeah yeah yeah they're trying to do a good thing they think they've rescued it yeah I mean I was talking about this and wait so many time people because I just remember Ben Stiller sitting on a crate that says Madagascar

Madagascar Madagascar just over and over again yeah real Ben Stiller yeah loads of like DVD releases had like yeah fucking Ben Stiller and Chris Rock just standing there. Like, our new movie Madagascar is coming out soon. I'm just kind of saying like, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. That's basically, that's it. It's gonna be funny, because we're funny, right? What the fuck you're saying that for? You love those movies.

Fuck you. Fuck you. No, you two break it up. Oh shit. Jim. Jim. Jim. Hubern, the fuck have you done?

I'll do it to you as well. You want to fucking close on? Okay, can we, um... You know, this is real life, by the way. This is still real life. What's up my M words? I'm back, baby. See? He's back? I'm back, baby.

We have a, we have with this one here from a knocker-on. Knockeron. Knockerun has one for us who says, have you listened to the new 9-inch Nails albums, Ghosts V-2-I? No, because it sucks. I've listened to one, like, nearly all of the first track of Ghosts 5.

You couldn't even finish the first track. It fucking sucks, man. I couldn't be bothered because I thought to myself, you know what, I'll listen to this while I'm writing my meditation again. And then I've been doing that for the past few days, and I forgot to listen to it. so yeah i think i've listened to the whole thing and i was like wow this is like a perfect soundtrack to uh the pop something black ops too shut out yeah i just i was listening to the first

track i was like wow this is like well this is like black ops to you no wonder why this is so good i really liked it from you know as soon as you like realize that it is just like an atmospheric album and all that but I don't know if it's gonna be one I revisit constantly or anything. Jim! Why did you... Oh shit! Miss that one I wonder! Anyway, yeah, I do wanna listen to it.

It's just, um... It's a certain mood. Yeah, it's a certain mood, I'm not in that mood. Yeah. Like, listen. Yeah, I'm more in a, like, a good music mood. I'm more in a, yeah. Yeah, like I'm more in a more of it in a good music mood.

Yeah. Jim, what was the David Bowie album where I was like, oh yeah, this is clearly really inspired by Nine-Each Niles? There was that one song, I'm Afraid of Americans. Is that the one? Yeah. James's got an axe, I'm kind of afraid of him. How about this one then from Joseph? It's kind of like being followed by Mr. X.

have Kanye on the cast if given the opportunity, given how infamously hard he is to work with. Yeah? Why would you not, you know? I feel like he's the only celebrity that would fit on the cast. Yeah. Just about Kanye, what have you been watching recently? He'd go into crazy detail, I've got some weird shit. You watch his big mouth, I guarantee.

You watch his big mouth. Family guy. family guy can you imagine just going on about how funny he finds big mouth four hours on big mouth brilliance of big mouth with con you try there is a rapper he really likes it because they tweeted about it I don't remember who it was but there is a hevert probably um it might have honestly been fucking Travis Scott no yeah probably was Travis Scott loves Bigmouth.

Yeah. Things are getting a little bit derailed here. I'm not gonna lie. That's the next question. Kanye West, right? Put it on the past. Yay on the cast, right? So, Kanye wept, right? Why was Jesus' king so great, right?

right what's your opinions of jesus king because we did our review and you weren't here obviously so uh jesus king uh i think it's from from memory my masterpiece time i think it's kind of shallow yeah i think it's shallow it's lacking in depth is there some there's some okay production on it uh but frankly i think it's his weakest album in terms of theme because it's he seems to have like either he has a really relationship with religion

or he just doesn't know how to communicate it into music but he does know how to communicate it into music so I don't know why it's so there's something about that album like it was forced like he was forcing himself to make a Jesus album he was like I have to

it didn't come naturally because Jesus like for example like Jesus walks as a song that came naturally man that came from somewhere but Jesus is king just what that came from from it's just nothing there's there's no basis to it it's actually interesting to

know if you go on Spotify the majority of these most popular songs are all just Jesus is king like nothing breaks breaks into it it's like there's there's is power stronger Jesus is king the whole album that's it but are we are we talking about plays or just what's most popular right now because no players wow I mean there was a lot of hype around it water makes the album it doesn't But I like use this gospel. That's the track I do like from it. See, the thing is, I could listen to the album

because it's not like really offensive to listen to. And it's not exactly boring either. I just think it's quite shallow, and I don't really care to listen to it very often. It lacks his personality to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. It's like suppressing it, isn't it? For the sake of religion or something.

It's like a gimmick. It's like it's what he thinks he has to do to prove something. It's like finishing Halo 3 and then getting a vision of Halo 5. It's just shit. Yeah, James nailed the fucking... Nailed the head of the arrow, you know. We have something fucked up here. A fucked up question that's gonna just mess us up.

from what what's your problem that's their name discussion are lifts public transport what about escalators I hope this serves to split the cast as much as the straws no I think they're a mobile public highway no then they're nothing they're nothing they don't fucking they are an enhancement to the public highway because not what later work that what they're not Not all public, did you say? Not all escalators are going to be available to every member of the public. There's going to be some exclusive escalators out there.

Well, yeah, if you're on a wheelchair, you can't use an escalator. But are they public transport, though? That's the question. No. Why not? It's silly to think they are actually in public transportation. You don't get in a fucking escalator. You don't get it from A to B. You're literally doing one floor.

Yeah. Well, I mean, as cool as those ones are, because they are cool, in a really immature and childish way. I don't think the public transport. I think they just enhance your ability to traverse the public highway. What's your opinion, Alex? Yeah. I don't have an opinion until you say yours. I'd say they're not public transport.

Well, that's fucking bullshit. Well, think about it. Like, public transport requires some kind of, like, agreement to get on, doesn't it? Agreement? Yeah, like, you're making an agreement to get onto a train, to get onto a bus, to get on. So you're not agreeing to yourself that you're going to step onto a lift? Agreeing with yourself is not the same as agreeing with, like, a separate entity. I think it is.

Explain. For people that struggle with controlling... Them out. The escalator is perfect. No, it, listen, define vehicle. Look, I'll Google. Define dancing. What is defined vehicle?

Look, let's find out. That's not the question. That is, define public. That is defined vehicle. Okay, define public transport. Wally, define vehicle. What is? What is it then? What's the truth? What's the truth?

Um, public transport, things that go. So I am right. Things that, no, shut up, it's not things that go. Yeah, it is. Google it yourself. Or are you too scared? I'm pretty scared because you're fucking threatening me. Yeah, are you scared or what? Huh? Okay, define public transport.

Buses, trains and other forms of transport that are... that are available to the public. Quiet, be quiet. Charge set fares and on a fixed route. No. And on a fixed route. They're not, the escalators are not on a fixed route. They don't charge you.

No, that's the one thing escalators are. They're on an extremely fixed route. Yeah, they can only go in one direction. Okay, what about this then? Then you don't. No, honestly, stop, stop, stop. If escalators are motor transport, so are stairs, so are doorways.

Basically, they're all motor transport. No, because they don't transport you. You have to transport yourself. The public are transported. No, they don't. Because you are... What about a lift? Is a lift?

Is a lift? A lift is more public transport than an escalator. No, neither of them are. Neither of them are. But a lift is more... You don't know what he's really kidding about this? It's just James out of there. Why is a lift more of a public transport than an escalator?

Explain that to me. It's not. It's not. And you know it's not. Because an escalator is just stairs that move. Yeah, so if an escalator is just a moving stairs, a fucking stairs would be a mode of transport. No, because stairs don't move normally. Yeah, they don't, but escalators do.

And they're a mode of transport, apparently. You're so much stairs. So, when I go to a door, Are you saying I should have a door driver for me or some shit? Okay, no, okay. Revolving doors, they're going a circle, they would be classed as a mode of transportation then. That's true.

James is right. That's not a fucking transportation. No, wait, what? Exactly, they're not. Escalators, lifts aren't. They're not at all, and you know it. Wait, what? What?

Are you saying doors? They're not public transport. They're not. They're not. wait no but i'm trying to you to understand how you got there because it makes no fucking sense you're saying doors that open by themselves are no i'm talking about the spinny hotel doors that are like yeah revolving doors that you have to push for them you don't no no no no no well some of them you don't some of them they're automatically done

no the difference is the ground doesn't move with them no it does no it doesn't on some of them it does no yes when have you been on one of those tell me where i mean i i would go into one quite regularly at the library at my university and i got to say um no you had to walk and and push it to make it go fast if you wanted to transporting you no but it it is you're not getting through to the building okay okay okay so you're saying that when you get on a bus carefully going through it so buses are two forms of public transportation because you have no they're not that's the thing they're not they're one form

because doors aren't public transportation neither are escalators neither lifts so why are revolving doors then that's a part it's the argument's sake if they are but they're not no they're not they just fucking no they're not an escalator isn't a form of public transportation Sorry, okay. You don't pay. You don't behave, but it does move you. It does transport you.

So maybe it is public. No, not the revolving doors. They don't transport you because you have to walk around. No, I'm talking about like an elevator or a lift. No, how is it public transportation? You're not going from car to Swindon in a fucking lift or an escalator. You're doing it in a bus. Okay.

It's a form of public transportation. Because if that's the case, semen is a form of public transportation Okay, let's go through everyone then And just have a yes or no answer The penis is a form of public transport. James No, fuck no Jim

Fuck you, Rubin Um, no I'm gonna say no as well Get fucked Jim Alright Okay, what about um What one did I just say? escalators yes what about a lift no takes you a hundred stories up that yes in that case

yes no then no you've just thwarted your own population there's a difference between going up a floor and going from the bottom of the barge califa to the top that is like it's still just a lift i think it's its own thing it's just enhancing the public highway you know there's no is the public highway what is the public highway is anywhere that the public are allowed to to go the public highway is the path is it so the public highway is the highway basically let me just say the public no the highway is for the public anyway so it's a public highway so you just call it the public highway you can you can use that term to describe just walking down the street yeah i walked down the street you know

mode of transport is walking a road of transport public transport do i have to pay to walk i don't know if you go to like a particular like a national not if i can what they called national heritage national parks idiot no no there's they have a name for national trust national trust that's the one yeah if you go to like a national trust place then then you know you gotta pay for that okay then uh i'd say this is uh it for today's episode thank you for watching this episode We'll fucking catch you on the next fucking episode.