JAR Media Posdact - Smart Mort Mini Egg Mystery - Corncast 33

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 02:03 Comment Barrel 07:20 Mini Egg Debate 18:22 Oprah Battle Royale 25:55 Mort Wiki 30:57 Mid Point + Patron Names 39:33 Reddit Questions 40:00 Swindon 2077 42:37 Which Varient of Alex would win? 43:31 Missing Life thanks to virus 48:30 Robot Purpose 53:53 Who is the central character of the simpsons? 56:40 A Very Crude Story 59:08 Alex' Birthday 1:00:03 JAR Badoinkers 1:00:57 Paranormal Beliefs

Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gents, and welcome to callcast number 33. I'm your host Alex, joined, as always, by the Halo follower himself, Ruben. The Master of Reloads, Jim. What? You know, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-p. And the land-grandpa- himself, James. I'm kind of glad you introed me with that because I was expecting, uh, I was expecting bad things.

What are you expecting? Craig? I'll add that to the list. They'll do that next though. No. What's wrong for you do that? I just think of the Halo Infinite. Yeah.

Before we get too deep into the show, let me shout out the Patreon and the John Media Patreon. If you want to support us over there, you can get a shout out. Your name shouted out at the halfway point. and it makes the audio version of the show possible. I just wanted to throw this out here for a little mini discussion before we get into the show. I know it's like a meme at this point bringing up the patron segment

and how to change it and morph it and what to do with it. But it's been suggested a few times because the Patreon's on kind of a monthly thing and we're recording the patron segment every week. It might make more sense and be more streamlined if we do just record it once a month so we figure unless there's some huge pushback from people who think it's unfair from April we'll start doing it monthly so for the rest of this

the rest of March we'll do it weekly but unless you guys have any problem with it I reckon monthly from April yeah that's all good it gives everyone more time to think up funny jokes as well to change their names to I support this change Hopefully it'll be more, like, more surprising if it's just once a month. Yeah. Aside from that, let's, uh, scrape into the bottom of the fucking comment barrel, shall we? Uh, pine cones pixels is going to start us off. Past jar casts, gamers are dumb, they never learn.

Stop hyping the shit out of games before they release. You're setting yourself up for disappointment. This jar cast on the Eldon leak. What if this is the best game ever made, question mark? Yeah, I noticed that when we're talking about Eldon Ring last episode. we we fell into the just like hyping it to oblivion yeah but that's fun points but when we do it it's funny though did we do you did well i think it's a question of what if it what if it is the best game ever made like they've been building them stuff oh right make something really good no but i i i i did

say like if anyone's going to make the best game ever made it would be from soft no but but i but i would No? Yes. No. They made the best game ever made, didn't they? The Witcher 3. Yeah. Um, no, but it...

I did make sure to bring up all that shit. The unreliability of games as a medium. Jack Diamond has a different comment for us. I drive a Toyota Prius, so I'm already less than human. Every day when I'm out, I get jumped by a bunch of tough guys driving sports cars while they're holding anime body pillows. They tell me that Pissadix sends his regards to Prius drivers. I just have to ask something, why James, why? I like Priuses.

You like him, do you? Yeah, they're great. They're revolutionary. Would you own one? Yes. As your only car? Because it's easy I hate cars

Cars are fucking shite I don't lie Before we started You said you've been working You've been working in the garage We'll do long It was amazing And yesterday

Yeah and yesterday But it's just like I don't like working on cars I just like driving them But I don't even like doing that Because I've ruined my car So I just want a car That works and is easy

You do like working on them You love it You love every second You wouldn't spend your whole weekend doing it if you didn't love doing it I like the end result. I don't like being under a car covered in oil, like, struggling to, like, do some... Don't you like...

Do you not have, like, the whole, like, mechanic set of gear? Yeah. Yeah, he was wearing... He did a picture of it. Yeah. wearing his cover rules in it and a hat. You love that shit, don't you, Jens? You love it.

You're capable of doing that. It annoys me as well. Yeah, I'm going to be a man today. do you address your car while you're working on it like it's the human no because yeah i'm angry at it so you're not like addressing it like like an anger like a shit but you know when you say oh she's a beaut no i only say that when i'm driving it like fast like that's that any time you get that like companionship with your your machine do you think do you think like being a a a sea person

and a car person are like comparable a sea person you know what I mean like you landlubbers these kind of people exist yeah no but isn't it the same of like people who like planes who like have their plane

and then their horse they're all the same aren't they yeah I guess there's a type of person for every element yeah land sea air fire yeah every environment has fanboys

Every creation seems to have fanboys, car fanboys, plane fanboys, train fan boys, bus fanboys. Are there people really into buses? Yeah, our great-uncle is like obsessed with buses and like... I thought that was under the sort of public transport bracket, because a large majority of our family of trains. What it boils down to is that they love buses. I guess. Secondies 1 has our final... What do you call it?

I guess just comment from the comment... The sludge, the comment bowel sludge. The comment sludge. Yeah, just call it sludge or something, yeah. Not a question, but since Alex has a new obsession with the word dingle, I thought he'd like to know that I'm a long time jarling from a town called Dingle in Ireland. Jarre trip to Dingle, perhaps? Without doubt.

Yeah, when you say it, it does sound like, you can't imagine a nice little Irish town. Dingle. Yeah. James, do an Irish accent and say... dingle. I can't do an Irish accent. I can't do any accents. Okay. Reuben. I'm going down to Dingle. Thank you.

Sorry. On that note, I suppose we should get into some topics. I've got a couple here, but I actually want to start with the one Jim made me note down, which was just mini eggs, whatever that means. So I'm going to hold up to you. Uh, well... Jamie is a fucking... Hold up. I don't expect this to go far,

and I'm sure people are sick of us arguing over confectionery. But Alex, what's your opinion on the Easter delicacy of mini eggs? Um, I'm fine with them. I can't say I ever really buy them. What? Out of ten? Yeah, rate them. But the rating means nothing unless you have other food.

rated to like contrast it well we do there's so many episodes where we literally wait food like I don't that's established already mini eggs okay I would give mini eggs are they reduced or are they

full price full price for full price no for four big we're talking about the 80 gram tiny small bag for one pound we're talking about that bag I would give those my gut says a six or seven

oh okay it looks like I might be alone in this best I think they are the single worst seasonal confectionery. I think they... So stupid, so stupid. What a stupid take. I hope the comments rip you apart for this.

I don't think of these slurs and shit. I'm going to... It's really venomous. I'm going to agree with Jim, but also... Disagree with Jim, okay. Hit me out. Okay. This makes sense.

Move on now. That's just a little statement. You can't say, you can't go ahead and say that. The first half. The first half of the mini-egs bags is great. The other half you get so sick of that you can't. Yeah, yeah, no, I'll agree with that. That's this last half.

You're just, like, thirsty, and it started to, like, burn a little bit. Yeah. That's not reviewing the product. That's reviewing your own lack of restraint. It's the product. No, it doesn't matter how big the bag is. It could be five mini-eggs or six. minute eggs. I say six. The first three will be delicious

and the last three will not. You know, it could be four. It could be two mini eggs. That's going to so I'm completely shit at this point. Basically all of you agree with me. No, it could be too many eggs and it's fucking stuck. I love mini eggs. I love mini eggs. I vehemently agree with you

except I actually do disagree with you. Yeah. She gets the perfect example of this. No, wait. I said seasonal confectionery. Name a worse, seasonal... Cream egg. No, cream eggs are better.

They're all year round, bro. They're all year round. Oh, yeah, they do have a cream egg every time of the year, as well, don't it? It's the summer egg. Cream eggs are still better. Ocean goo in it this time, and then Halloween, it's got evil goo, and then Christmas,

it's got fucking slurm, snow slurm. I don't know. Sludge. Or have you noticed that Manisa, the cabri chocolate eggs, they're small and they're like full of orio like filling yeah those aren't very good actually that might be the worst one no i really like them what yeah i think but you're also forgetting the mini snowballs over christmas which is just the worst mini eggs there's a worst they're fucking

rebella they are so much better what's so many snowball have you not had those they're like just mini eggs but they're like spherical not a shade and oh i have had those they're great they're incredible they're just the same thing thing? No, they don't have a hard... They've got like powder shell and that is nicer. I can eat a full bag of them

and not feel like shit. Okay, so that's the rating system that's based on if you can eat a whole bag and feel okay. That's the fucking rating system for everything. We established...

We established we established this of the milker conversation because you can eat an entire bar milk and feel okay. You can't eat an entire bar of cabries and feel okay. Yes, you can. No, that's bullshit. And I do.

I have. Today. I feel perfect, actually. I feel better than ever. Yeah, but what size of cabby bar are you on about? I want about the really big bar. The Christmas special big bar. I haven't eaten a whole bar. I could barely get through one little block of milker. But back to the subject at hand being mini eggs. Mini eggs are cab, they're cabri, right? Yes. Yeah. Is the chocolate on the inside just ordinary cabri chocolate?

I think it tastes so yeah no what I think it's fine I think it tastes cheaper I think it tastes more like chocolate footballs that cheapest you guys are crazy it tastes like party food trash and then they just make it worse

by putting like tasteless shell on it I would actually have done they've taken Jim this is like your tomato ketchup on egg thing no I just can't agree Jim what you like tomato ketchup

ketchup on eggs? Yes, and like everyone does. I would only have tomato ketchup with egg in the context of like very rarely with scrambled egg, very rarely, because otherwise I just rather have it with salt. Or like if you have, let's see

at McDonald's or whatever, you get the egg and bacon sandwich fucking bat thing they do now. ketchup and that, that'd be good. But no, I would not have ketchup with a fried egg or something like that. I wouldn't do it. I'd only do it if I was trapped in the London Underground with a bunch of

homeless people and they were doing it, so I would do it to blend in. Okay. People have eggs bacon and ketchup. It's more likely going to be... You don't know what goes on down there, even. I would rather have syracia with like...

Yes. Spicey shit with eggs. Sitesy shit with eggs. Great. Great idea of that. Bain sauce. What about it? With egg. Boom. What if you have a spicy ketchup? Because that's what I tend to have.

Why don't know. Don't be a coward. Have sarahcha. Bate bean sauce. Bate bean sauce works with everything. Bate bean sauce. You're crazy. If you have, okay, so sometimes, you know, in your life,

you've probably had scrambled egg and beans on the same plate. At some point in your life, I'd imagine. Those two things together, fucking awful. Just disgusting. Bean juice shouldn't be touching egg. I hate it. I think it's fucking horrible. No, bean juice should come in.

fucking squirty bottle i want it with literally everything it's only nice if it's hot yeah that's why you warm up the bean juice like go to kFC and get one of their pots of beans have it with every food and it is just absolutely incredible and that's facts bean juice is just is better than ketchup this guy this guy so you go to you drive to kFC you get your beans and then you drive to Tesco and you get your bags of mini eggs and then you start dipping. No, they would probably make baby in mini eggs better. I don't see going back to how we got to this ketchup topic

how me saying the shell on mini eggs sucks is anything like having eggs with ketchup? I was just boiling it down into just an incorrect food opinion, that's all. It's not, no, because I've got, okay, who here has eaten mini eggs the, like James recent

I have oh literally most recently would be James because he just ate a bag and I they're the worst they're the worst chocolate thing

I've had in a while because what are you talking about the shell the shell oh no this bag this

this specific bag this specific bag was shit it's always this specific bag though this is the realisation

I came to I was like mini eggs yeah they're mini eggs right Easter time mini eggs it's time for some mini eggs got a bag of mini eggs man that was kind of a bad bag

next year Easter again you get another bag why did you keep buying them oh shit mini eggs no I haven't in years now because I came to this realisation every time I thought I wanted them I'd eat them and they fucking sucked

that is the thing is there something about them like every Easter it's just like I'm on mini eggs it's like it's fucking it's ingrained into your mind to want mini eggs at this time a year like I've, this year alone and I've bought two bags, one today and one when I was a McDonald's. Both times I couldn't finish them because they were

fucking shit. Like a shell has this terrible aftertaste and it just ruins everything. It just ruins the night. Yeah, the texture of the shell, it like dehydrates. It absorbs all the moisture in your mouth. Yeah, but this is coming from the guy who

says that Malteseers are too intense. No, I love Malteseers. I love Maltese's. I can eat in a tie bag. In like two minutes time, James will say, I love Maltiezer, but actually I think they're the most foul ever come up with.

No, that's not true. James has just become based in Red Pilled. James listened to what I had to say, James listened to what I had to say, and now he's based in Red Pilled. He has joined the base Red Pilled. Oh, I represent that.

I represent that. No. I unapologetically consume the milk with a cow. I don't give a fuck about anything. I'll tear the flesh of an animal apart of my teeth. I don't give a fuck about anything. I don't, I'm taking my heads off. See, no, but here's the thing. I'm the biggest Maltesea lover. Like, not... I fucking love Maltese's, bro. Oh, just move us, please. We already address how we do this. Every fucking episode,

quick, just move us on. Yeah, man, what the fuck? You done with the mini egg thing? Maltese's though? Oh, shut the fuck up. I'd just like to say I put forward what my opinions were and some facts in there to, some truths that maybe you guys weren't ready for. I made my points you guys had very little to say, end of discussion I say. You're just gas-lighting us now.

No. You're trying to manipulate the Germans. Yeah, you're trying to manipulate the Germans. Well, he's right, so. No, they can. they can believe what they want i don't i don't need no fucking backup here i'm confident in the fact that come 2050 2050 2050 people will begin to open their eyes and people will begin to push back

against these seasonal bullshits they're pushing on us do you understand me that's my opinion i don't understand you but god damn if i don't respect you for you Fuck you. Speaking of seasonal bullshit. Yeah, speaking of seasonal bullshit, I have down in my notes, Oprah Battle Royale, which I guess was to remind me of that Oprah interview with the, you know, the Royal Family. Or I guess they're not in the Royal Family anymore or whatever. Do you guys catch any of this?

I assume you saw some of the memes at the very least. I watched some of it, like the latter half of it I kind of half watched in the background weird interview I came to the realization that I'd never actually watched Oprah like actually do anything I'd never seen like the show or ever watch an interview with her and I never seen her speak or like anything

so watching her interact with the royal family and the kind of questions was all like very you know so very over the top and what they should have done was uh they they should have had the prince harry and is it megan markle yeah yeah they should they should they should have been interviewed by the same woman that interviewed prince andrew it would have been like that would have been more interesting yeah that would have been yeah because they american tv does that I'm a British TV. All TV does it, but

where they know why people are watching it for like two or three questions that it boils down to and they know it and they edit the show around like the three interesting questions she asks and every time she's about to ask it it like cuts to ads and then when it comes back they just kind of dodge the question and then move on and yeah you don't really learn much

because the royal family didn't want to they didn't want to specify justify anything in detail so it just comes across as like pretty vague but I have actually been watching the crown that Netflix show about the royal family I'd never like it never even crossed my mind um because I guess I just figured it was like a royal family jerk off thing but it's way more of like a critique of the whole idea and has an amazing cast and pretty good writing isn't it all pretty fictional though Um, well, I mean, it's loosely based on the story and hits the beats.

It's not like, you know, one-to-one history necessarily, but it's still interesting in terms of just details that I never knew about the royal family. Like, I genuinely have been switched off to the royal family my entire life. Like, I've never engaged, maybe on the most surface level. So, yeah, it's interesting from a historical perspective, but they seem to be some pretty serious. sneaky you know I mean they're a monarchy anything that comes out about the stuff they get up to is not really that surprising

Tamia do you guys have any thoughts I just hate I've always hated that they've had this spotlight I don't I genuinely do not understand how people care about them and their

lives they are just rich off of everyone out For generations. Yeah, for generations upon generations, they've just been taking money and giving back what? Entertainment, quote unquote.

Yeah, a little bit of this nebulous concept of tourism. Yeah, yeah, when... I don't think whether we have a queen or not effects if people really want to go to London. Like, we had a monarchy, we still have the buildings to do with the monarchy. It's not like every tourist gets to meet the queen. Maybe then I'd respect her some more.

Then she's actually doing something. Yeah. So seeing them in the news over and over just pisses me off. And especially when we're hearing this stuff, after the Prince Andrew stuff, and nothing of consequence happened with the Prince Andrews. stuff. No.

None at all. So what is the purpose of this latest thing? It's just fad bullshit. And even when they're talking about you know, the interesting stuff you'd think about like the whole, the money

question with if they're leaving the royal family, how are they going to support themselves? And then in the interview they kind of dance around the subject and keep it as vague as possible. But then you'd love it. look and see like

when mummy died left behind 10 million plus all the royalties from the interest you know like they're not struggling and they're trying to make out like oh we need to be making our money just so we can afford just enough to afford security which was shitty that the royal family

like just pulled off security considering the like death threats and stuff they get but yeah does Prince Andrew still get security yes probably like it's fine What is he, where is he?

Like, what is he doing? Have they just sent him to another country? He's probably playing golf, um, getting pissed up all on taxpayer money. That's the most likely to our Tahiti resort. I'm, I'm just going on a,

on a trip to clear my mind. Fuck him. I've got a bit of a cough. I need to go to Hawaii. No, but I'm pretty sure Prince Andrews like in a fucking palace in the country. somewhere just like living a lovely life yeah yeah but but when uh when prince harry marries a woman that's like a shade not white enough then he's fucking booted out and he can't have security and

shit yeah see like of all like the thing about the war families i don't have respect for like any of them like i have respect for princess jana because she seemed to be like quite Fuck, whatever, but it's like Prince Hay did a lot of stuff in the armed service, so I can respect that because he was constantly being, like, doing stuff over there, like, I respect that but all fucking cuns. I just

don't like the royal family, and that's like my honest opinion. Damn, you got anything, Rubin? I don't care. Yeah, it's pretty boring, to be honest. Like, it's probably really moved on to the next thing. I've actually been perhaps seeing memes of, like, the Queen talking to James Bond, like,

I had this whole lot of fascination. No, the memes from this have been good. But now it's all just about the dream blunt rotation. The Royal Family stuff is over. Yeah. The best meme I saw from it was like a fake YouTube upload of like a thumbnail of the queen. Yeah. With the title said by My Response or something.

On my side. Oh, yeah. My side of the story, yeah. I have just sent a meme of it to the group. It's 27 seconds. If anyone wants a brief intermission before the next, probably... What's the next subject? Does it something shit and lame that we just have to talk about?

Because it's like, you know, we can't not talk about the crazy raw family thing. Well, actually, I would say this is something much more important than the royal family bullshit that is much more relevant to the matter at hand. yeah that being um uh htt p s slash slash madagascar dot fandom dot com slash wiki dot mort and uh the reason i the reason i bring this up is because uh it's been uh brought to my attention that the uh the wiki page on the official madagascar wiki for more is it's far It's the most fucked thing. I'll read some of it and just to see what you guys think. Mordecai, commonly known as Mort, is a main character in all hail King Julian.

He's an incredibly cute and sort of innocent mouse lemur, although his age is something upwards of 50. He is somewhat bothersome towards other zoo animals. While the character he admires and reveres King Julian dislikes him the most, the zoo inhabitants dislike Julian and care more for Maut. Here we are. He loves King Julian's feet, an obsession which started when he saw King Julian using them to kick some Fusa

in the first episode of all hail King Julian. In fact, he loves Julian's feet so much that he can rip down a tree while sleeping for them, as seen in two feet high and rising. King Julian also hates it when Mort touches his feet. He is protected by a force field of ignorance and can't feel pain, But he still hates drowning, as seen in assault and batteries.

He laughs hysterically a lot. In Madagascar too, escaped to Africa, while being chased by a shark and laughing at the same time, he says, why am I laughing? Thanks for the source. There is more. What do you guys think of that, though? Just reading it myself. He likes things even if he does know what they are. He says, I like fill in.

i i eat in tangled it in the web he says i like computers despite not having a clue as to what a computer is fuck yeah here we are yeah this is the most interesting part in all hail king julian exile it is revealed that mort is of a species that is immortal and can suck out the life force of other morts giving them multiple personalities this explains smart mort a certain a certain form of alter ego of his own which appears to be a version of himself from another multiverse, where he is an intelligent character. It has also revealed that Mort sucked out his grandmother's life force, and she now lives inside his mind.

Mort is also portrayed to be Jewish. As seen in Carl Mugedon, after his grandfather shows up in a flashback and appears to Mort as a child getting a present on Hanukkah from Grandpa Mort. So, um... quickly rising the ranks in terms of best

Madagascar character in my mind how does that make you feel James to learn this about the character you adore so much I'm kind of heartbroken by it really fucking dark the sucked out grandmother's

life force and lives inside his mind it's cool though that they can now blend Madagascar with Rick and Morty with this whole multiverse thing yeah I thought it was like an MCU thing in the new multiverse of madness he was going to show up yeah he's the fourth Spider-Man this it does read like a like a Marvel wiki it genuinely is about about the same sort of level do you reckon this was written by someone at Dreamworks no it was written by someone at Marvel. How did you discover this?

I saw what I think a comment said read the more wiki and I started reading through it and then saw all this Jewish heritage and the grandmother's life for supernatural stuff and had to kind of fact check it and it's all true. Hopefully they delve more into it in the uh the uh Netflix spin-off show um but

yeah honestly I've got nothing to add to this whole mort debacle I'm upset oh one more thing before we go to break I just need to add smart mort

to somebody's uh intro names no I think we all know who the smart mort is around here I see it

to these smart mort messages. Um, hello. This is me, Argi. You do realize that there are Bebo shirts available, right? Take a look at the really cute shirts. Look in the description or under the video for more. Oh, it smells delicious. Good afternoon, good morning, good evening or good night.

This is the charm media podcast and this is the part of the show where we're thank the patrons over to patreon so a big thanks to danny green art on instagram johnny johnny yes papa piss a dick pisses on bully's dick he instantly regrets it dark souls too is actually really good fuck you reuben and jam ick ben jam tonyos welt average beamy apple fan the jar cast but james jim and alex are mixed race and Ruben is right. Ruben said if I gave money to the Patreon, he will play Fnaf 2 on stream.

James, pronounce Seda, right. Oh my God, so true bestie, that was an epic chungus moment. Nate's mini-dick, check me out on Onlyfans. Hot AI booty mendic and bias. And so the minger who cheated death in the cemetery outside Swindon cheated death again, and the magic roundabout was forever. Clunge Bob spun. trunks. Ooh. Ah, yeah. Ooh. Look what you've done to my bloody shed, man. A random dibby jarling.

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Thanks to David Wallace Mr Potato Hertz Fat Chode Pimp Poppoe on the Pimpin convoy. William Knowles Acolyte. I'm sorry I cheated on you piss a dick. I couldn't help

myself around your sister. Milk a tit, says drink a mouth. Lilith. Danny G. based lord. Woodpecker from Mars. Edgy Erica. Alex essentially whispering razor flesh into your ear. Mama death stranding

butthole picks. Check out Nate's mini figs on Instagram. Lewis, Big Boy, Borshrow Horsebra. Plyman. Sam Buckley, aka Revutex, Swindon, aka... I'll finish in there. Number one, Lisa Ann Fan. Brough. Sam.

Mordecazer Mains Rise Up. Adam Johnston. Tomuis. Juan Hernandez. Jam. SpongeBob Square. Ant. Honey, I'm ho.

I swear I'm not. Ray Sippy. So? President. Is it Cyprus? Seip doesn't seem like a real name. I don't know. Logie Bear.

Born to piss, forced to drink. Jake White. Big whoops. Gremblow. Spock, the Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan. That gaming gangster. Big Cheese. Kuta Panda.

1100-100-B. Lucy Tye is an Asian anal queen. Randy ruins Patreon. The poo man. Doing your mom. Doing, doing your mom. Doing your mom. Doing, doing your mom.

You know we straight. repeat 136 times. I see a fucking manigan, David Wallace. Thanks, everyone. It was a nice David Wallace sandwich. Well played, guys. Well played.

My father was a redditor. And he asked a question for the second half of the podcast. This is the second half of the podcast, where you and the Joker can ask us questions. Together, turn your voices into, one and find out what we think about things, such as Giorno Pizza has one for us. Yeah, take us away.

What do you think Swindon will look like in 277 using cyberpunk's logic? It will be in the United City. That'll be it. It'll be all like, Swindon? No, no, no, no, no. I watched, I watched Dread a day or two. go?

Oh yeah. Dread is Swindon. Dread is Swindon right now. Mega City. Mega city 3. Do you know Swindon has that big tower block in the center of Swindon? It is that. That is the mega city.

Mama lives at the top. Yeah. Sargonnevick had driving around on his motorbike. Does he have a motorbike? I was just combining Dread and no. Oh, right.

But yeah, of course, yeah, Dreda's a sick motorbike. Yeah, I didn't play 2077, so I can't really answer this. Yeah, well. It's Swindon. My worry is that Swindon, like, if London is the heart of... Swindon is the soul. Yeah, Swindon is the diseased soul. Which organ?

Okay, yeah, if the cities of England are organs. Oh, it's Charlie Sheen's liver. I mean, Swindon isn't a city, but like, so I guess Swindon gets to be like a diseased spleen or something, like really diseased. Swindon is where, if the District 9 aliens are real, they would have landed over Swindon. The worst thing about Swindon is it's generally really expensive to live there. because of London it's in terms of it's just house prizes full stop in the UK

yeah they're fucked it's shit I do want to live though Swindon has this like housing or apartment block and all the windows are like circular it looks like a

bi-shock apartment I'd be down to live in one of them that is probably the nicest part of Swindon because it's like a two-minute walk from Casper's. Boom. Yeah, it's a two-minute walk from Casper's, and I'm pretty sure there's a gym,

like, in the building. Yeah, there is. A huge gym. Yeah, Swenden's actually kind of, like, it's not even far away from the Dream Lounge either. You get your gains in every way. Pale Sock has one for us.

In a Hunger Games or Battle Royale-like fight to the death, which variant of Alex would win? I. He-E. Alex. Peak Jarmidious scream-loughing Alex. young mischievous internet troll Alex or man man man man man man young young Alex would fucking kill everyone yeah what you mean by that the other use don't stand the chance

no I don't compared to specifically the young mischievous internet troll yeah he's that's that's the that's the well he'd bully them all into like suicide or submission find out their favourite game tell them it's worse than kill zone or something and then like I'd really frustrate them with a yeah who answers question

yeah barrack alackin has a slightly more serious one which I think everyone can relate to in these trying times hey lads I'm a 20 something American university student and I'm looking for some advice all things consider

COVID hasn't affected me much. I've kept my job and I'm making good progress in my major, but I'm feeling this massive disconnect to everything because of COVID. Half of my time in uni has been in quarantine and I feel like I'm missing out in a huge part of my early adult life. It's out of my control, but it's like I've stagnated socially since the start of the pandemic and I'm starting to get kind of anxious about society starting back up. Do any of you feel like you're missing out in some important parts of your life because of COVID? How are you dealing with those thoughts? Yes. Yes. Yes. How am I than I simply am not dealing with them right now.

We can throw them in my early 30s, I think. We'll leave it until then. He can have like a mid-life crisis really early because he missed out on a whole like 18 months in the 20s. That's a problem for a 34-year-old man. This one is not interested. That is just kind of true though. We are missing out on things

and we can't really do anything about it. Like you just got to tell yourself when it's over that you've got to live to the max. You've got to just go fucking bulls to the wall and just fucking yeat, yeat. Just yeat. You got to spend less time gaming and spend more time doing stuff. Less time gaming, more times watching movies by yourself on Netflix. but it's just like we all used to you gotta spend

you gotta get out of bed 4 a.m. and you gotta drink 4 eggs and then you gotta go and work out someone start time from the inception soundtrack yeah and then when you've done all that you gotta get

4 degrees and then god yeah that is a that is a genre of video isn't it yeah like man says generic like pseudo-motivational like dog shit that's kind of like probably

anti-poor people like dogma or something and then time plays over it that's it you've just got to know that when you can do things normally that you should do more you know just I think it sucks particularly if you're in uni

because like you're like paying for a certain experience and just not getting it at the moment. It's just objectively worse than it would be normally. And like the whole appeal is like the social aspect. And if you can't even engage with that, that is shit. I do feel for anyone in that position. I didn't get a graduation ceremony and they've now delayed them until 2022.

I will almost be graduating from my master's by then. So you can imagine that I don't give a fuck by that point. That's just fun. That sucks from me. no graduation ceremony no cap and gown yeah because surely the backups are going to get so ridiculous like they are just going to miss so many people would just miss out they're going to have to do my year this year and three years inside of one like instead of one I don't know like summer so what is it going to take like 10 years to get all the ducks like back in a row like properly

do you think um fuck I don't know I'm just glad I'm glad I did finish last year though Jesus, even if they didn't get any on campus time or any of the like socializing end of, you know, university stuff, you know, even though I didn't get any of that. I'm glad I at least graduated and got it out before what has been like just a miserable time

to be a student. Then it was all full of like lockdown, you know, it was a bit scarier because we didn't know what COVID was going to do. You know, there was. with some fun there was some laughs you know it was mostly just like alcohol baking just and like playing like weird games like crisis three you know it was like that was what i did it's quite good no it sucks yeah we're moving into the jaded phase now where it's just so it feels so elongated

where the frustrations are boiling and in that anxiety and yeah it is a big question mark just how how things are going to be moving forward and what that's going to look like and at the very least at least everyone is experiencing maybe not the exact same thing in like practice but the environment is the same for everyone

so at least everyone is experiences on some level Cringy Cringer has one for us if you're a robot what would be your purpose my guess is that Alex would be a trash clean up robot like Wally James would be a self-driving car

Jamie would reload military guns and Ruben would twerk Well, James would be the, like So you know in Cyberpunk, there's the mission, Jim, you'll know this, Delamane, his personality thing gets all fucked up. Delamane is like this taxi driving AI service, and then he has like a few taxis that go a bit like cuckoo in different ways. And there's one that's like, you know, James would be the one that's just like,

you know, people get in. and they're ready to be taxing somewhere. He just, it's a dangerous drive, you know. Like, nothing about it is nice or safe. And he just goes through, like, every fast food place there is on the route. Every single one. So they don't get to their destination for, like, four hours. You just always end up at Casper's in Swindon.

No matter where you got in. No matter where you want to get it. Every road leads to Casper's in Swindon. I think, see, why, why does this person think Alex would be a trash collecting robot? Yeah, I don't know. I guess they think I'm fucking, I'm a trash? Well, like, no, like, you know there's, you know how Snoop Dog or like, risk relief has, like, he hires someone to roll his joints.

That's Alex. as a robot as a joint roller which celebrity would be the first asshole to like introduce a product like that the rolling robot

snoot dog this would be you don't think Seth Rogan might sneak in there no because he loves his like pots now he loves like making flower vases and shit no no he's just started selling his own brand of weed

Seth Rogen called House Plant plugging it there you go sponsor but what's Jamie because I know

even's the twerk robot but what is Jamie again I didn't why do I know you know I get boiled down to the

fucking comments suggestion I didn't even get a creative answer you motherfuck as I came up with one whole

creative answer I had a whole tangent I had a whole bit would delegate someone to have you

well no that's not how it works Alex, you get Reuben. What would Reuben be as a robot? I'm really struggling with this one. I don't know what it is about the robot thing. It's hard to boil someone down to like one and a tire. Yeah.

What does that mean? I just imagery from I robot just flashes into my head and they just start like cringing and I just don't want to talk about it. I'm just getting like news about like sheeple and shit in my head like when the fire alarm goes off or whatever. And everyone turns. We're going to be the first, uh, Joker robot, the first one to go, go against the grain. Ooh, that's some edgy imagery. I'm just now, and all I do is just like, come up a variance of my father. Yeah, it's like a robot, it grabs a knife and it, like, shoves it in its head and, like, carves a smile.

Carves damaged. Oh, yeah. I'd be, um, I'd be... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't get to assign your own purpose. No, I do. No, robots don't get that. No, you don't get to do that. No, I'd be a light switch that responds to two claps.

That's it. Yeah. Nice. Nothing to do with, like, cats. He wouldn't do anything for cats. He wouldn't be like a robot. No. No.

And Alex would be Siri on iOS 30. But, like, it just sort of wouldn't do what people say. He'd just post on like an IGN forum, wasn't I mean? I'd post their credit card details. He'd ask questions. Yeah, he'd ask questions. No, speaking of robots, this remind me, I heard that apparently you can get automatic cat litter trays.

So there's a potential for someone being a robot litter tray. James. Do you want to take that, James? No, I'm not taking that. Fine. No, James, you can be the automatic cat litter tray and I'll be the automatic cat feed it. Who's the water? They've got a drink. Okay, Ruben's the water.

Yeah, I'll be the cat water. Who's the cat with that? Alex is the cat and retain it. Alex is like a neighbor. But that can drive them mad, can't it? Oh, that's dogs. I'm mad by laser places so far

great I'm like the cat jungle gym installation like really a high tech like haunted house type thing changes depending on what cat goes on the jungle gym it's pretty sick

the softest bulletin has our next one philosophical debate who is the most important and central character in the Simpsons Bart or Homer Bart Homer

I would say Homer of a bar of a barb, but I would also kind of reject the question. Yeah, that's bullshit. I would disagree that those two are the most important. I would say Homer's kind of the central character more than Bart is to me. But the whole point is that it's like satirizing the nuclear family thing. So every family member has a different, it's like a different demographic. That's like what makes it a good, funny premise.

I agree. But... Do? Or... Cowman? Uh... Well, that's obvious. It's dough, isn't it?

Yeah. That's got to be like the most iconic... Like cartoon... A catchphrase? Yeah. What do you think, James? Bart? Yeah.

Why do you think but? There's no question. I can't explain. My point. He just is. No, it's Maggie. He isn't. Maggie, the real centre of the Simpsons. Do you think The Simpsons would be fine without Maggie? No. No, because then you wouldn't have the episode where Maggie shoots Mr. Burns.

The episodes. Sorry, yeah, yeah. James, do your best marge impression? I can't. Just say... Homie. Me. No, you need to say like, homie, I'm...

here for you. Homey, I'm here for you. Okay, no. Have you ever watched the sentence? No, I can't do impressions. Rubin, come on. What, which one am I doing? Say, homie, I'm here for you.

Well, I can just do homie. Like that. You just got to put some, like, horrible... Homie. Yeah, just like this said. Mark. Mark. Alex, do a...

Do a Maggie impression. Mackie impression. Eat her. Peter. Peter. In one of the family guys I watched, there was like a Bob's Berger's voice actor's, like, joke in the show. They were like, there was a cutaway gag because they were like, hey, what if everyone was voiced by Bob's burger? And then everyone had Bob's burgers.

But he's already a character in Family Guy. Yeah, that's probably why they had him already there. Oh right. He actually did it. Yeah, yeah, he did it. Right, okay. Otherwise, Annal has a story for us. A pretty fucked up one, a pretty explicit one too.

I want more masturbatory stories, especially from James, as I relate to him the most. When going back through the older Jire episodes, I was reminded of James' three-hour masturbation sessions he took part in. This reminded me of a very hot and horny summer here in Australia when I was younger. It was a particularly warm day, and my mum had tasked me to clean my room. Instead of doing this, however, I planned on using this as an excuse to lock myself in my room and jerk off. My room was upstairs and next to a living room that me and my brother used to play games. At this time, my brother was playing Mass Effect 2 and I told him that I was

going to shut my door to clean my room and would only open it again once the room was completely cleaned. So I did this and began to play Olly Meurs on my stereo to mask any sound and got to work. During this period in my life, I had not worked out how to properly masturbate and instead I would resort to humping my bed in order to get off. This was not stimulating at all and would sometimes take hours at a time for me to finish, and I'd be exhausted afterward. So during this very hot day where I'd shut myself in my room upstairs, I stripped down naked and began humping.

I remember being extremely exhausted within the first few minutes as the air conditioner wasn't able to properly circulate into my room, with the door being shut and it became hard to breathe at times. However, I got tunnel vision and felt I needed to nut. needed to nut. I don't remember how long I lasted, but I managed to pass out from the heat, lack of air and exhaustion of thrusting my hips on my bed. I remember being woken up by my brother who asked why I was

naked. I told him I was getting changed and must have fallen asleep halfway through. I then proceeded to pretend to be angry at him for opening the door and not letting me clean as to change the subject. Yeah, anyway, so for the long story game on. How is any of us supposed to top that? Well, yeah, I'm not even interested in any of ours. I just kind of wanted to read their anecdote because it's just Olly Mears, dude, really?

Yeah. I wonder it's got you in the mood then. Wait, hang on, wait. I missed that part. That was the stimulus. So I did this. It was like a distraction, so there was like noise in the room, so... Oh, oh my God. To drown out, the Massate 2 and the wanking.

Wanking. Damn. Absolutely bonkers, mate, as well for us. This upcoming cast is going to be posted on Alex's birthday. So what will he slash y'all be doing to celebrate, if anything? My birthday is also on the 15th. So I'm planning to try James' famous bean pastor to celebrate. Because I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do anything else because I live in Florida.

So leaving my house is an open invitation to get COVID. Loll, game on. I mean, yeah, I don't really have a choice. It's just going to be a case of weight. Is that two birthdays in lockdown for you? I managed to at least go out for a meal. It was like a week before. It might have actually been days after my birthday meal last year

that we went into that first lockdown. So I think everyone's at least missing one. It's probably going to wind up most people missing like two in the end. So it's going to be lots of catch-up birthdays. Missionary Swan 16 has a different one. I don't know if this question has been asked before, but how do you feel about being sexualized? It seems to happen fairly often in the community to varying degrees and I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it. Cheers. How do you feel about that, Pixar Dad? At least make my butt big. Okay.

What do you mean? So you're saying it like if someone draws fan art or does like a fan edit they want to edit you on to? will draw you with like huge huge ass I'm okay with that I'm okay with that yeah I don't know I don't really care yeah it's like anything like there's people could be like fucking weird about stuff

and people are gonna be funny and it's all about the way you do it and the way you interpret it some people are based yeah yeah lazy maisie is our penultimate one here hi Jha I'm a psychology student and recently had a lecture on paranormal beliefs and cognition. To my surprise, most of my peers seem to believe in the paranormal

and other forms of supernatural beliefs. As a skeptic, the discussion surrounding it was interesting as many would pick and choose what beliefs they held and were not at all terrified by many of the things they suggested. They also propose things like aliens to be paranormal, which I personally do believe in and would not classify as such. As well as witches in Bigfoot. So essentially my question do any of you believe in the paranormal? What would you define as paranormal and how do you feel about people who do believe? Thanks.

Well, aliens aren't paranormal, though. That's what I was going to ask. But they get lumped in with the paranormal because it's this whole thing of do you believe in their existence? You're stupid if you don't believe in the alien. Yeah, it does not think that aliens exist or it's, you know, You know, it's like equally likely that they could or they couldn't, you know, like, space is fucking infinite and vast. There's got to be something else, shit.

Like, it's got to be. Paranormal to me is like the unexplainable, your ghosts and goblins and shit that ain't real. That's what paranormal is, whereas... And James. Yeah. But if someone is that convinced that they've seen something, I would assume. it was like a hallucination or something. Yeah,

maybe one off of hallucinations. Fucking had one the other day and it was fucking horrifying. Okay. But it doesn't even have to be a hallucination. Like we can convince ourselves of a hell of a lot of things. Human brain's powerful, man. Yeah. Yeah, especially if you had like a ghost experience when you were a kid.

Yeah. Or if you're naturally superstitious or... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's... How do you feel about people who do believe in the paranormal then? It's sort of like religion. There's no point to convince someone that they're wrong.

I mean, I won't think less of someone if they do. Because, I mean, I've had like a weird... We talked about it on the coast a while ago. I had a weird thing that I can't really explain. You still count out think of anything to rationalize that. Wait, what was it? Wait. Oh, did you miss this, Ruben?

Jim's genuine ghost experience. Do you think we talked about this last cast? No, no, no, it was ages ago. Yeah, I don't think so. I know this one. Jamie saw my big butt in the... In the middle of the night and he thinks... Jim, tell Rubin, um, like the Cliff Notes version.

You know I was working... Yes. In the countryside. So it was one in the morning. I had, I'd had a mouse experience, first of all. Yes. And I was on edge because I thought it was a rat. And basically, I had to get this mouse out of where I was living. So I went to go and find some utilities to plug a potential mouse hole. So I went into my place of work, about one in the morning. And I'm just in there looking. for I think it was duct tape and I just heard a scream at one in the morning I heard like a

woman shriek inside the premises and yeah so no I went I went into the bathroom because I needed to pee all the lights were off I was using my phone as a torch and from outside the the toilets I could hear a woman scream and then I called Alex and was like because I was genuinely fucking creeped the fuck out like I'm supposed to die tonight by 50 cent this is it

game over man yeah well because my immediate reaction was like someone has broken in and they're like climbing through the window or something and they've

they've cut themselves right yeah so I thought it was like a a break in scenario because it was out in the middle of nowhere um I would I know I'm just going to intervene here

I've been to that pub at night Like quite late It's actually fucking scary Oh Jesus I just perish there and then It is genuinely terrifying The nearby woods that has the like It's got like a folk story

Of like a girl like it isn't it The creepiest thing is There are two supposed hauntings related to this pub And One of them is the a woman was ran over by a carriage

like a horse and carriage So did you subconsciously Do you think you could have subconsciously Any knowledge of that prior though I might have done As you have to wonder because you're on edge From the mouse thing I just wonder if the human brain goes on like dumbedom mode and it's like

I'm gonna make some shit up This is gonna be funny I'm gonna prank the fuck out of myself What could you misinterpret though At like one in the morning Like a human stream scream. I mean, like, daze, me, and shit make crazy noises sometimes. And foxes when they breed, yeah, foxes.

Weird, like, shriek. And if I was hearing that through a window and then through a door. Yeah, that's because... Maybe. I used to hear them. Um, start with the accommodation. We'll haul away over the back. Foxes would just hang out and just like shriek. Yeah, they might have been one, like, rummaging

around the bins or something. No, because they scream when they're mating. That's literally their mating. They were fucking just going at it somewhere and you must be real, I would have just, I would have killed myself there and then. Yeah, I don't know if I could have recovered from it. It would have been like mental breakdown. It was a weird moment for me because it was like I'm no longer me and I'm in this bathroom. I have, like there's no way, the only way out is to go back through to where I heard the scream come from.

Yeah, that's fight or flight stuff. Yeah, and like when you're describing it, I can actually like vividly picture the exact moment, like you hear the screen and like how it would affect like the feeling you get running down your back, you know. But it wasn't fight or flight because my only option was fight and I assumed that there was a human there. So I had to like pump myself up. It was pure adrenaline because I mean, you guys know I'm not I'm not a fighter. I'm I love it. So I'm like getting pumped. ready to have to like do some John Wick shit as I come out of the bathroom

and I like burst through and I'm like Hello A non-must-bum It's just John Wick's soundtrack You've got a gun all of a sudden Shit's getting crazy But nobody's there And then I called out

A family guy chicken fight with a ghost For a fucking 40 minutes See when did this happen before or after I was actually there I don't know if you'd been there by that point. Yeah, I don't really know like what month it happened.

Because it's like, I went to that same bathroom you were in and it's the way the bathroom is, it's like a corridor and then it goes around a corner to the bathroom. So I'm like, you're walking to the door and it's just like, that's it.

It's that way. In my head, I'm pretty sure. It was a while ago now, so my memory isn't crystal clear, but I'm pretty sure I was like just about to open the door and then I heard it.

and froze it's the fact you were in the dark using your phone torch too i know when i could have i could have so easily just like turned all the lights on but i was just in a rush it was one in the morning i'd done all this shit with a mouth and i want to go strike you know yeah i just it's such a like um it's like the setup for like a five nights of ready is take this job and a secluded Oh, in the countryside. I promise. Yeah, it genuinely is. No, I know exactly what I would have done.

I would have called my dad. You're going to have to come here because I'm going to have a breakdown. I just come quickly. It takes ages to get there, though. It's just, it's back of the woods. It's fucking freaky shit. Yeah, when I would, I'd ferry gym there sometimes. And the drive back at night, it's like so terrifying.

It's like genuine horror shit. with the you know your high beams uh like casting shadows on the like trees that that make like a tunnel it's fucking horrifying shit and what is the story gym

the local legend about that girl uh i just looked at um just happened to read it yeah i can't really remember um blah blah blah reports claim to be one of the most haunted pubbed in the county one is an elderly monk of a sense of humor who plays wicked tricks

and then the other many years ago one was traveling on a coach which crashed into the side of the pub fatally injuring her although she has never seen her cries echo throughout the building uh what what i didn't i didn't know i just got the thing in my back i just got the chill no i'm shivering right now say it with me it's a fox it's a fox it's just a fox it's a fox it's a fuck. Yeah, it gave me a fucking shiver, too. Oh, my God.

I'm not going to sleep tonight. I hate, I hate, I've always hated this growing up when you'd be with your parents, like a family thing or some shit, and they'd be talking and then all of a sudden they'd get onto like ghost stories. And you're like, I don't know, maybe it's just unique to me, but like anywhere

between the ages of like eight and 14. That subject came up and I'm sad, I'd always be like, fuck sake, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, I'm going to be on edge for the next week. And I always would be. I'd be fucking scared after that. No, we've been...

I don't... Hearing that now, and apparently that's the thing, I'm confident, Jim, that you just had that experience. That's fucking real. No, but you know what? That night, I slept like a baby. Fuck it. I don't know how.

You probably exhausted yourself. Yeah. So I might go back, though, with a Ouija board. now I'm just looking around at the door to the like where the front door leads to just like waiting for something like a car went by a second ago and it cast a shadow or not my fucking blinds and I was like it was out of humor oh no that's fine right I'm not I'm on edge now

fuck this is where the rationalization comes in though because you have to think how many people every year die from ghosts how often do you hear about someone dying from a ghost it's fucking never yeah you just have to get over that fear and be like what the fuck you're going to do to me you puttie ass ghost fuck you

the second like you've realised that you're invincible to that shit yeah I mean black people used to die to white people dressed as ghosts quite a lot that's a whole different thing Yeah. I mean, even if you rationalize the concept, a lot of the time, the, the, the things they do, the way they haunt isn't even that nefarious.

It's like, okay, they scream at night. You know, like, it's scary. It's spooky, but, like, it's not going to, you know, end your life. There are, like, theories, not based in any science or anything. Based. Not based whatsoever, but the idea is that, like, whatever life essence we have can, like, be imprinted on a physical thing, be it like a building or a book or a Ouija board or level. Yeah. So, I don't know, maybe this woman being...

That's very superstitious paranormal stuff, though, isn't it? I mean, that is true. I hope mine's really cool. And, like, you just, like, hear the Halo 3 theme for a little bit or something. And then it stops and so, oh, no, that's scary. Cheers. You doing a rendition of the Hulu. See, if we're going to talk about this,

I was going to bed the other night. I was up all night just like, looking at Instagram, like sat up straight on my bed. And this was a hallucination, but I looked over at the, because I have like a bookshelf, a big bookshelf on my left.

I looked over and I saw a head, like a decapitated head, and it slowly tilted and stared at me. And then I looked at, looked at it and then my body like had that panic where every every limb in your body starts pulsing like extremely and i basically just turned around put my head on my pillow and went to bed absolutely fine but it was fucking horrifying i mean i that sounds horrible i dreamed that it was like sunday today and i had to go to work because i do have to work tomorrow but then i woke up

looked at my phone and it said saturday 13 to march and i was like yes yes it was it that was all I did today. I keep thinking about like how scary like VR games are gonna get. I think it's gonna be disgusting like just how scary horror games are gonna go. I don't actually think I'm gonna be able to play any of it. I can barely play horror games like it like Resident Evil 2. I can't even do that too much of a baby. You guys haven't even played Half Life Alex. There's shit in there that maybe maybe that's why oh no that happened after ignore me. VR is scary as fuck It's not for me

What if they implemented VR in like torture What would the ethics be there Oh my God, yeah Yeah Like if they're psychologically torturing you In virtual reality If VR can get to the point where you don't even know

If you're in VR or not Yeah if you like sleep deprave someone Strap them into a VR headset I don't have a fucking clue what's going on Not a clue. They just just seem to it's real life. But you could literally put someone like in hell. You could like literally put someone in hell.

Yeah. Put them in Dean. And if you make someone recover, yeah. You'd have to make them recover. You'd have to put them in Doom VR and be like, now you are the demon in hell and you're going to get everything. That's how you'd bring them back. Let's do one more then from Mazat 808.

What's the strangest thing you've stuck your dick in as a horny teenage boy? Fuck. Wait a minute. I just, I got a crazy one, actually. I don't have, sorry, it's a ghost one. It's a ghost one again. I just, I was trying to remember it. My dad has a ghost experience.

Just a little one. He was working at a pub doing a renovation thing. And he was like, I saw this cat. And the people were like, well, cat. There's no cat here. And he was like, yeah, there's a cat. And then they realized, oh, that cat's dead. That cat has died a long time ago.

And he was like, I saw it, though. I saw the, I saw the cat. And that cat. And that cat. And that cat grew up to be Elon Musk. Can you stop? I'm actually getting scared. The cat one is chill, though, because cats are chill.

No, they're not. Yes, they are. What are you? Cats are burning dogs. They're often associated with horror imagery, though. They're trying to make him less scared. Yeah. Cats are cool, though.

Yeah, cats are cool. Yeah, anyway, move on. I just, I just, it was like, I wanted to bring it around on a nice little, like, you know. No, can I just say... Alex, this is more relevant to you. Does it ever scare you that only you are in your house? Um, no, because of the dogs. I hate being in my flat alone.

See, when my parents go away, obviously Guy stays here, and during the night he's fucking weird. Like, he will like creep around. And because we've got like a nightlight on the floor below, you can i can see the shadow so when he creeps around silently i can see a shadow like walk across in like in front of him and i can see his little ears when i'm half asleep i fucking freak because i can't hear him but i can hear the floorboard creak so when i see shadows moving and creaking i'm just like fucking hell but he yawns gaius yawns at the same

fucking pitch as like the horror movie slowly closing gate so i just hear that all weekend when my parents went He's fucking holifying. He's a fucking terribleise, I swear. Jesus Christ. To derail him. What was the question? Guy is a creepy little dog, isn't he?

He's spooky. Oh yeah, and another guy, you know he bit my nail. I picked up a car. other box a day and it slid under the nail and it popped on one side. Jesus dude. That's worth any horror story, ghost story right there. It's got worse.

The actual nail itself is like, it's regressed into my finger, so it's been shrinking back into my finger. It's fucking grim. It's horrible. That's horrible. Oh fuck, it's gonna foggla off. Yeah, the dick. It was the dick question, wasn't it? It was always a thing you beat dick in.

I don't know, vacuum cleaner. Really? Yeah, because I thought... Was that a movie? Was there a movie? Yeah, wasn't there a movie, though, that made a joke about someone doing that? Yeah, I think so. What movies?

I never watched any of those kind of comedies. I heard it on a podcast. It wasn't even one of those movies. It was something else. it was like it was um spill yeah yeah yeah because i heard him do it and then so see how that feels you heard say that he did it um i i uh uh nothing it's all normal is it was it apple pie james did you try that no he's like i'm i'm the most normal here i've like not tried anything I haven't done any of that

Come to think of it No, I haven't either Alex has just done it all for all of us Yeah, he's done it all He's done the Holy Trinity Was there a banana peel? Oh, surely James for you Banana vacuum cleaner

Flash flour, melon? Yeah, well that's normal though That's not I know, wait, you got a flesh light Yeah, I said about this Yeah, I think I did know this one actually The Suki guy Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Such a good name suck you dry you're not the annoying thing about it it was a limited collector's edition one so they sold it barely like briefly and I fucking mined it oh no

I just see a limited edition you could have flipped that flesh light yeah fuck I mean on that note what can even so. I regret it. I generally do regret it.