JAR Media Posdact - Spin Time! - JARCAST Episode 178

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening on night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the JAR Media. What's happening? Thank you to the patrons at Patreon for patronising us every day. Is that the worst intro we've ever done? By far, in spades. Good afternoon, evening on night ladies. gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the Jarmuja podcast. Today, you are joined by the glorious, glorious foursome that is Ben,

Jake. Jake. Alan. Alan and Jordan. Hope you all having a good day. How are we doing, ladies, gentlemen? What if anyone just happened to be watching today? It's the first step.

I think I'll try episode 178. Yeah. Out. Well, you never know. I really like Ben this episode. Yeah, those aren't our names, but. Jake, fuck. Jake, get out of here, Jake.

Not going to tell you what our real names are, though. You'll have to just watch another podcast to find that out. We've never had to watch another podcast. They'll go listen to Joe Rogan. No, watch another one of ours. I don't blame that, no. Watch another episode. Joe Rogan's a great podcast.

Don't fucking chill Joe Rogan on our fucking podcast. It is good, though. It is really, it is. Although, in saying that, I had a thought when I was listening to, I've been listening to a bunch of Joe Rogan recently. And he has an equivalent of our fucking Marvel Halo at Wars bullshit. What is it, what is it?

Weed. Is it weird every time? I assume. Weed is kind of one of them, but it's also M.M.A. Obviously. He started out as an M.A. Yeah, that's, yeah. But every time, like, if you don't give a shit about M.MA, like, that's the, I can understand.

Yeah, but everyone gives a shit about Marvel is the difference. Yep. Everyone who cares about Marvel. I'm afraid Joe Rogan. We're the most catering podcast. Yeah. There is. Bye-bye, Joe.

Joe. Hello. Joe I don't know how he monetizes any one of his videos because he's fucking weird and fucking everyone on them

YouTube probably just uh give him part yeah it's not uploaded his YouTube he doesn't upload the full clips

YouTube it's on his website oh okay so what he put them on on YouTube but whatever no just clips I'm pretty sure

talking about another podcast yeah we'll talk about our own podcast for a little bit did you see episode 171 that shit

cracked me up I don't know what happened in it I might of which what we're talking about of us of us you

of course yeah Yeah, yeah. Watch that, yeah. I haven't watched that, but I was there, so maybe, I don't know. Rubin had diarrhea. Owsy. Out of the earth. So what have we all been up to recently, audience?

What have you been doing? So recently, I discovered this really niche game that I like, and not many people like it, and I think people should play it out a bit, because it's kind of good. If you dare suggest that Fire and Blum is a niche game. No, it's called Final Fantasy 13. You haven't been playing that.

That's another one of them, by the way, on the list. like just fucking topics that just come up. The fact that James has never finished it. What do you mean? It's not worth finishing Yes, it is. It's such a great game. No, I'm done. I've said my piece on this topic. I don't remember it. Can we talk about Ruben's diarrhea please? I went on holiday and then when I came back

I had diarrhea. So we've been got the normal post holiday shits basically. Not special. Is that normal though? I think it was probably from ingesting pool water or ice cubes like that had bad things in them. See, I reckon it's the pool water. Probably the pool water. Yeah.

What, you just... It's just... It's going to get in your mouth. It's going to get in your mouth. You know? No, I put cellar tape on my mouth. And also it just tastes so delicious. You're only drinking it.

Yeah, sometimes I don't even get in the pool. I lay down on the pool side with a straw, a metal straw, because I care about the environment. It's hot. What do you think Europeans do? Just drink pool water, man. Oh, that's why they all fucking reek. Fucking crass! not funny.

I witnessed something fucked up here the day. What did you witness? I was on the train, and I've told a story similar to this before, but this was next level. I was on the way to Bath. Yep. An actual really nice place. So you were only on the train for like 10 minutes there. Oh yeah, but it's enough to witness things going on around me.

Before this story was, because there's a certain way you can sit in the seats on these trains, where you can kind of see the person in front's reflection in the mirror of what they were looking at. On their phone, normally. Window. Yeah, window. And last time I saw a guy just casually looking at Hentai on his phone. Yeah. This time I witnessed a fresh face.

It was like, if I had to guess, he was 34. Businessman had a fucking, like, briefcase and all. And he was, he had two-seater by himself. He was sat in, like, the window seat. And he was hiding his phone to anyone down the aisle. But I was sat behind him so I could see this. the reflection. I could see what he was looking at. Oh God. Okay, what was he looking at?

I swear to God, it was like this what seemed to be some kind of like pussy blog. Right? Where it was just endless pictures of just pussies. And he was just scrolling through it, just looking. On the fucking train. Why? Why would someone

do that? I was like, can he describe anything else about this guy? Did he care about his appearance? Was he was a young and fit and well-groomed? It was, it was weird. It wasn't what you'd expect. It's not the kind of person you would look at and think That person probably he's probably a predator He's probably probably a predator

Well that's the thing like it Every man is I was shocked man Can you make the predator noise What on the this does the predator even make I can't remember That clicky Yeah it's it's it's I don't know I don't remember anymore

I haven't seen predator in so long So what you're saying He must have to wonder just how many people like just look at porn in public But why? I don't Because like

You're not gonna That stage When you'd start doing it in public That's an addiction Is it not? Like you can't go Leave it You have to just like

consume Yeah I guess Not funny But it's like It wasn't even There wasn't text or anything Or It wasn't like

Reddit where it's like Upvoted shit It was just pictures of pussies Just endless And it was It was almost like Medical

Looking It was strange Do you know someone who is a doctor and is fucked up or something. Story could be honest. Maybe, yeah, maybe it was for work. You don't know what he does. Matt, he was wearing some kind of uniform, though.

It was just weird, man. It was just fucking weird. Well, that's just not funny, and I didn't laugh. I could just stop saying that. Let us know in the comments if you look at porn in public. Yeah. No, I actually do. Actually do.

what's your own I haven't done it what no James you actually have a topic okay you say I have a topic but I all I can think of is my topic is spin time what we need to talk about

spin time okay what okay spin time back when I had guys as a young puppy you know he was mental just really hyperactive so when we got into like a play fight he lay on the floor

so I did I put my hand like and I just spin him around as fast as quickly as possible and that's spin time so then you're fucking in the kitchen yesterday he was just like going spin time

spin time and I was like what are you talking about and then he got Paisley and fucking spin time and she left the fucking ground like a helicopter fucking blade how high did she go and then you grabbed Argy and he's harder to fucking spin he is because he's a little trunk boy at the moment

while Paisley was like fighting him and play fighting and you did it to him as well he didn't quite helicopter off the ground but and the weird part was like they didn't care it's spin time what's the purpose of spin time funny

no the thing with guys is because he used to pop a lay on his back so there's like no resistance so I could do it for like a minute straight of him spin time and he'd get back up instantly on the floor and it has to be on like laminar flooring it's not like a car yeah yeah it has to be slippy slide But it's like, for me, it was like a way for Guy to, like, know I was going to play with him. It's spin time.

But I didn't realize you had the capacity to invent something and, like, give it a name and shit like that. Spin time? Spin time. That's just like some Seinfeld fucking creation right there. See, when your dog's hyperactive, you've got to find ways to keep them active. But just spinning it on the spot, flinging it in the air. No, but it's not that. It's also like, when your dog, like, is grabbing a toy and he's pulling him.

What'd you do? You do spin time XL and you fucking... So guys will hold on to the rope and you can just spin him in the air. Yeah. Straight up, he will be... You have a spin time, Billy? No. I morally stand against spend time.

I have spun my animals round by the butt before. You do it like once, but it's not spin time. It's just like you just slide them round because you're annoying them because they're just there. Yeah, but guys loved it. He would come back for more. So the spin time continued. I haven't had a dog, so I... Okay, next time he's it, we can film the great spin time.

He's to create a balanced puppet, you just spin it round, like, by... Just in the air and throw it in the fucking air. Is he not too big for spin time now, though? No, because that means there's... It's faster spin time, because he's longer and got more weight, so there's more... What are the fucking secrets have you got? Fucking weird rituals you have. Spin time.

is the major one but I can't think of any of us there's a spin time which is the ultimate form of puppy play what about spoon time with your dog that's all the time do you spoon to be a dog a lot

well yeah if he jumps up on the sofa and I'm laying there then yeah little dogs don't like it though they get all scared Paisie was spooning me today she was full on while eating my hair she was spooning you yeah she was big spoon was she

No, she was a little spin. Okay. But she was eating my head at the start. She's like a foot long. It's been a spoon in the back of James' head. That's it. She's a nightmare. Paisie's going to go.

No, she's a little. Have we mentioned that she humps argy? Can't wait to tell her. Paisley, the puppy, humps, argue. Yes. Alex, when... We got a revealer, I suppose. When...

This is a morbid thought, but when your... You can say when Paisley dies. When your animals die, right? Right. Oh, how lovely Would you Would you stuff their bodies Would you tax a deli in them?

My mum would always joke about that Would you turn them into a hat? No Like in Red Dead You've got like the fox hats So I'd have to skin it My hand And then

Turn it into a hat No, you can take their corpse Someone else Yeah, you take it to a trapper No, mum used to say about I'm gonna find a trapper in wheelchair I don't know I might find one

Do you remember our mum Used to say about Boiling flossy Once she died Oh, to keep her skeleton. Yeah, so we could keep her bones. It's morbid, man. In hindsight, now that she actually is dead.

Yeah. You imagine that you go home. Yeah, but don't you wish that you had her skeleton, like, in a frame? No, because her skeleton was returned to the earth and is decomposing. It would be an awesome dinosaur thing there. Yeah, in thousands of years her bones are going to be found, and they're going to fucking put it together wrong, and we'll have the iguanodon story all over.

again. Fossi is a fucking next to granite on. Speaking of fucking dinosaurs and, you know, the insects that lived around there, and a fucking giant there were. I'm in fucking pain at the moment because I've been bitten by a fucking horsefly. If you don't know what a horsefly is, it's...

Does it hurt? Yes, it's fucking horrible. Does it hurt right now? Does it actively hurt? Yes, because my legs feel like they're swollen. Oh. Because there are points of like swelling. Distension. Yeah. So it's fucking my legs up and feel feels weird when I walk. Is it distention?

If you don't know what a horsefly is, they live in more rural areas, I guess, because they need blood banks, effectively. They drink blood. Anywhere they might be... Livestock and shit. Yeah. Horses. Cows.

Hence the name. Yeah. They've sucked the blood of horses. They've evolved to be able to have these little fucking razor hands so they land on you and they tear apart your skin. They don't shove like a mosquito... Needle. Stabber, yeah, like a needle.

needle with anesthesia. They fucking tear your skin apart so it starts bleeding. Then they just drink your blood and then you look down and you're like, oh, I've been bitten four times and have been stabbed. Why does it swell and stuff then? Because it's just they're like the end. Or it just doesn't necessarily swell. It's like if your biology just badly reacts to it and mine does. Mine did be a massive like white fucking head after the bleak. Yeah, sometimes they can go really gross. There's some fucking gunge coming out of it earlier. Tasted salty. Did you actually taste it? I just joking. say. There's no way.

Because obviously, when you said about it, and then you said it tasted fatty, I was like, did he actually get distracted and didn't... It looked like it would taste fatty. It's like that kind of, sinewy fucking... Have you ever eaten your own purse? No. No. Have you ever, like, tasted any of the things that have come out of your body?

urine, shit, semen. What about, like, earwax, eye juice? No, I've not tried. You've never tasted earwax? I think by accident, but not purposely It kind of makes me think of Play-Doh No, it just tastes

Gross I'm thinking about it It's spicy as far Anything I can think I would have possibly Tasted would be my own snot But that's when you have like When you're kidding Oh yeah my snot non-stop

You get You think it's gone But it's on your lips Yeah because it's So I would have tasted snot Have you tasted your blood? I've tasted me on blood Yeah, everyone knows what the blood

tastes like You tell me you haven't eaten your snot in a long time oh really yeah guess I'm alone in that one no you're not I have as well I've had that I'm very very cautious as to avoid tasting really skip your immune system because yeah well you're your fucking nose

and then your finger in your mouth covering germs just no you're meant to um when you go and then it like goes down your throat oh well yeah yeah I can do it right now everyone knows what snot taste like obviously though if you have like an infection and you're hacking up loads of shit all the time

you don't swallow that because you're trying to get it out of your mouth yeah disgusting well I mean you can because it's like in the lungs you get it out of the lungs then you can swallow it or yeah I don't I try to get it out and then

cough it into the sink and it's all yellow and gross and epic and satisfying I just remembered I did have something I wanted to talk about on the subject of this have you ever had have you ever swallowed your blood clots

and had that really whole thing no because I haven't had a blood clot no I get it because I've got really bad I don't know, I bleed a lot. Oh, maybe yes then, because my nose is pretty fucked. I will stay up. I'm going to shit in there all the time. If I don't, if I suck in a little bit, it will just go down on foot and I'll start choking

a lot of blood clots. And I have to, I have to, like, cop up this huge blood clot. It's disgusting. This segues nicely after you. What was your thing? Being bitten by a... No, but, like, you were going to say something, then James starts. Oh, right, yeah.

I had a topic completely removed from eating our own snot and shit. Mine was still about the body and fluids. Okay, you do yours then. I just want to get back to talking about having diarrhea God, diarrhea was a jar meme A classic jar meme Hated it Pussy diarrhea, wow cringe

We've never actually We haven't repeated those words in a long time This is the first time Probably 100 episodes or something It's been said We made the vow And we stuck to it bro So I think that's okay

Just to say it like that though Yeah I think it's fine to reference So I'm pretty sure we have slipped Every now and again It's 420 which Shit That's beautiful

I actually did have diarrhea And I just wanted to Say how unpleasant it is because we used to joke about it like it was this hilarious funny yeah we want to apologize to anyone who's had diarrhea in the past we're sorry for upsetting you it's pretty hardcore it is horrible

no if you're not no but no no it's only really bad when you've got diarrhea and you you shit yourself I didn't do that because I always kept myself in your toilet what does that end with you shitting yourself I was this about it's the same story I had really bad diarrhea and I farted and I shit myself

I'm very careful I could I didn't know it was going to I haven't shit myself since I was a kid yeah I didn't know it was going to happen it literally happened out of nowhere we got like no fart control I thought it was just a little fart but it wasn't James were able to like slowly gauge what a fart's gonna be in there yeah because that's what I had to do no it came out nowhere I literally didn't know what happened I'd farted you still he must be a fart novice still yeah I am a fart novice you gotta fucking learn some skill I didn't know because I just like moved I moved my

fucking cheek slightly and it just fucking flew out I hit fucking vile man did it go in your bed Jim is like... I think it was early in the morning so I like if I can freak out. Jim has achieved fart mastery where when he knows one is coming he's able to get his headset off quickly and put his mic on his ass.

He's going to start into the mic. I know when one's coming like a week before it happens. That's total control. Fuck off! Fuck off! No, farts are funny, come on. Farts are funny. I don't have farts.

isn't funny anymore I think I went a bit far on that episode but every time someone mentioned poo I edited in a fart sound yeah that is one of the funniest what about the episode is that the one with Markiplier going hello over and over again as well because that was a classic I think they're different I think they're separate okay good because I feel like that would have been YouTube change I've gone a little bit too far in some places oh fuck me The jug Jog, jug, jug, jug, jug

But yeah, I did have I did actually have a topic that was Sort of relates to YouTube a little bit I want to know you guys' opinions on YouTube changed We're all familiar with Game Grumps host Eageraptor right? No

Yes You know who he is though Hosted Game Grumps did loads of animations He basically did loads of animations Many years ago and that's kind of it That's all I know Yeah, so you know who Eageraptor is Yes

Yeah Yeah Did you guys see what like went down on Twitter the other day? I was aware of it, but I didn't see the trend because my trending is set to another country and I guess it just wasn't relevant. So basically what happened was, there was like this parody animator person who made like a joke video making fun of those story time channels that are like huge on YouTube now.

Oh, yeah, I saw that all of the pillow, right? Yeah. Yeah, I saw, I saw, I didn't understand. I was just like, game in? What? Duck pillow gaming? Doug pillow gaming? I got to hear the rest of it because I'm not clued in on this.

But yeah. So this guy made that video and he was like on Twitter saying about how he'd finished it or whatever. An eager raptor replied saying that it was like mean-spirited and like doesn't help anything and that it was like really negative and shit because he's gone on this like... I'm a positive guy. Yeah. Man are trash. And then only NG replied to it and was like, come man, don't be a fucking baby.

You've been doing the same shit for like years. And, like, I was just curious to talk about the, the thought process there of, like, he used to be so different. He's, like, completely changed. And I was wondering if it is just, like, the game grumpification of, like. Well, he's very corporate now. Yeah. And the way he operates. That's what happens, though, isn't it?

It's like people, they start filtering their language, I guess. And then from there, it just goes, like, everything's offensive to you. You just figure out a way to be offended by everything. And I watched like the video that he was mad about and it was so, it was like such in the same vein of all that early Newground stuff where everything, you know, is a target for humor. And it's so absurd and it's all just silly voices and shit. And it's clearly not supposed to be hateful or whatever, but it's just like such a decline. And we're seeing that now because we've had these people on YouTube, these like personalities stay around for so long. They have like a whole arc.

Yeah, there's normally some kind of arc. stay consistent and their personality you'd hope kind of improves and as they get more adult and shit. Oh shit. I just read Oni's reply. Oh yeah, read it out. Don't apologise because Eagerraptus said is pathetic piece. Yeah, read Eageraptor's ones.

It's so long. This is three. Should I do it? Yeah, do it. So people have more context. All right. I'm just going to read through all three of them at once. Yeah.

This is mean I got made fun of like this all the time when I made cartoons and it fucking sucked. I think you need to watch the video because I think he's responding directly to things in this video but I haven't watched the animation so I don't know he's just talking about how people would always make fun of him like yeah just like everyone is my fun of it didn't give me a thick skin I make me a better artist to make me think more about what I was doing it just hurt the fact that all the people patting on the back for this cartoon are old school new grounds types with very few STAs commenting speaks volumes I don't even know it's story time animator yeah yeah you can

you can't you can use this thread to pretend it's all in good fun but it's not fun it's mean it hurts there these are kids who are all creating sharing themselves and trying to find a way to belong. This video only serves to segregate two groups of individuals, both primarily populated by people who desperately want to connect with one another. Pello then replies for three tweets. Should I read those? I haven't even read them. This is my first time reading them. It's not that. He just says, like, I didn't mean any harm, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, I know you feel, but I was just, you know, making a joke, sorry. And then only just says, don't apologize. Don't let someone

bully you out of your sense of humor because they lost theirs. Keep doing what you do. fuck. Because I noticed it's the other day that Only and Eagrams that don't follow each other anymore. They're just not friends, I don't think. They used to, like, co-lab all the time.

They were, like, in the same group. Yeah, and then they used to work together and do a few videos and stuff together. But I think maybe spending time together again, suddenly they just were like, actually, I don't like you. It just all stopped suddenly. They used to do a bit of animation stuff together

still on Game Grumps. I think the only plays was made for a while in the Game Grumps place. And then gradually that will Yeah Yeah Is it that thing where it's like The more successful

You become like you sort of feel like You need to act in a professional way I guess But I don't Professional may be the wrong word Like a more corporate way A more protective of your sort of brand and shit It seems more like a personal thing

Because he's the one that went out of his way To tell this guy off right instead of like it being targeted at him and him having to respond but like do you think he was genuinely upset by the video or it was just like why else would he go out of his way to do it I read his tweet after I didn't know what he was talking about but I read this eager up right where he was apologising he wasn't apologising he was saying I was a bitter and mean-spirited kid when I was younger because of this that and the other and I used to do jokes that were horrible and things like that so it just sounds like he's getting all he's getting all very personally it was

kind of a selfish attack. He doesn't care out of me. He cares about anybody else. He was just seeing like I was mean and you're being mean. I don't like that or whatever. And it just, it comes off as very I don't know, disingenuous to me. It's fascinating to me. You see you just... He could

he could say, no, it is genuine. Look, I put it out there publicly, but it's like, I don't even know if you could be honest enough of yourself to know that it's disingenuous. Yeah, if you've thought that way for as long as he has now, I guess. It's like, it's just... It's so different. now like you just

those videos aren't made anymore it's going to even more drama I-H-E speaks out on the no I'm removed from all of that luckily so I just thought it was interesting because I remember like Eager Raptor was like huge back in the day like as far as online content

and stuff like your animations and the parodies and shit you did I was like my introduction to that part of it that side of it I won't lie I find I find watching quite a lot of game grums like if I when I have watched it

whenever they've played a game I've maybe thought you know what every like year I'll give them a go yeah yeah I just find it fucking excruciating it's it's so so so plain sometimes it can be so nothing so safe so right what do you actually

well that was like I remember when I tried with game grumps for a while I watched it watched a few of their series but then I was like hang on only does his own equivalent sort of thing. Yeah.

And I always thought his was much more funny because he wasn't, he didn't feel like he was holding back, you know? No, yeah, that's the thing. It feels restrained with games. Because I actually, I quite like both of the ganggrants people. So I was like, well, why wouldn't I enjoy watching ganggrams? Yeah. But I don't really enjoy it.

But I still like both of them to some degree. Yeah. No, it's more about like, I guess it's like the show. It's about how they actually perform on their show. Yeah. And I guess because they've had fucking like Rob Schneider and all these celebrities he's on Game Grumps now maybe there's a bit of a

there's that thing that people do where they want to abandon like the like a move on from the things that made them like Filthy Frank and you know well that's like a business man

Game Grimms is his business that he owns yeah and he's also like a voice actor and he has to yeah he's got so I get it I get it but I don't think but I think doing that was like to the contrary of his actions to make that comment somebody like that

like he was pissed about something probably at the time and was like, let's just take it out on this innocent video. I mean, he probably feels like a dick about it. Yeah, I don't know. But that's just this trend. It's like the fucking stagnation.

The gradual stagnation as the wild west that is like the internet is just slowly being tamed more and more. We're more ghosts and people now. Yeah, we're the Dutchess gang of YouTube. Yeah. But like if, if

if like the jarcast got like fucking pewterpie numbers then it would be the same shit like the all the like articles that are written about it and they're like that's just what happens the way number of podcasts that they could cite in a case suggesting that we're racist and sexist and homophobes and that's what happens

when because it when it can become a story like when these fucking awful bullshit non-journalists that like on BuzzHubes feed and fucking wired and all this shit. They gotta get views on their dying fucking irrelevant platform so they do hip pieces on YouTubers all the time.

So that's just what fucking happens, dude. Well, two minutes left before the break. Let's just say that if anything does happen, I'm definitely testifying against you. What the fuck, man? Testifying. Why is it in a court of law all of a sudden? I'm just gonna flee the country. I'm getting that bounty back.

i'm gonna take you i have offered you i gave you a fucking chocolate slice that's not a brownie it's the same it's a shit awful mr's got to be the brownie that's the only way you're gonna get back into my heart i'm convinced it's gray sludge they then just paint i've i've a vivid memory of that that kipling incident and i remember looking at it and thinking those are shit yeah they're not even worth opening no but it's not that it wasn't the fact that it was shit it's the fact that i gave you a whole pack of chocolate slices like your birthday or christmas or something once it's a joke i know but that's like the only food I had on that day

I starved probably didn't Alex probably bought a million rice crispy things slices and you probably had two of them yeah I probably did yeah because I'll share those rice crispy scars I don't think anyone

I don't I think nearly everyone shared and shared alike except for one the blanche yeah whatever I want to know if anyone actually understood what that last late, that's what I was trying to say, but my brain is...

I reckon there might be someone out there that, like, has been listening for long enough, and we've referenced, like, weird shit like that enough. Maybe. We referenced parts of the story over, like, hundreds of episodes, so it's like you can piece it together, gradually. It's like watching a crap 24 episode of season to... Valti videos got to make a fucking law video.

I'm charged. Because it's crazy, but it's not purposeful. You're crazy and not purposeful. We'll be back after these messages. But I'm kind of cute. I want some water. Hello, this is me, Argi. You do realize that there are bebo shirts available, right?

Take a look at the really cute shirts. Look in the description or under the video for more. what would your uh if you were an octopath traveler what would each what would your role be James no you we have to decide with James because he doesn't know his class is just James what is what is your Jamie what is your octopath traveler class I think Jamie is a sly thief Caucasian I'm a banana farmer yeah James would be the dancer yeah he gives us all like buffs that's a his role.

Sensual dance? Yeah. God, the Japanese He wears a nice little belly dancer costume. Yeah, I'd look great in it. Come on. Nice big bulge.

We actually have a story speaking of banana growing. Just making this ludicrous bulge. Someone Someone on the Reddit has a story for us.

Lucas from JAR Media. P.K. Fire. I just, I'm thinking about the idea of James in a thong right now and like, I remember to, like, tuck his, like, knob between, like, round into his ass, like, area and under his balls, so that it, like, stays in line with the thong. This shit is crude, but I'm going to read it anyway. Don't think that even this goes. I've started using the bananas recently, it's the headline. Oh, God. I've been using Alex's technique.

Why is it my technique? Because you're the only person who does it. That's not true. I only found out about it because I fucking found it on the internet. And it was, like, an instructional. video of this fucking Indian guy cutting up a banana. I'm like, this is awesome. But you did it?

Yeah. And yeah, none of us have. Yeah, so it's your technique. Yeah. Okay, fine, I'll take it. I've been using Alex's technique quite a bit, and my family has noticed the spike in absence of bananas from the fruit bowl. Well, he should just eat them as well.

To my surprise, they've congratulated me for improving my diet and said they'll be buying them more frequently. Does he not eat the banana as well? Before. It's just to use the skin. It depends what kind of technique you're using. No, but you've got to eat the banana. What did you do with the banana? You should eat it. Yeah.

But Alex just... It spends on how sloppy wants it. This may seem like good news, but... But they know what I used to not like bananas and may want to see me eat one. If this happens, then I will certainly vomit. And they don't want to know what I use the other bananas for, if not for eating.

You can't use a banana to jerk off and not eat. That's fucked up. Yeah. Every time you eat a banana, the spike of potassium. probably makes you want to wank so I don't know oh Jim's the clapping out Jim come here I'm gonna slap them on the head there's like a reply to it saying is it just the peel didn't Alex say he gets mushy bananas and crushes them in what I can't even remember what I said that day

you don't think you ever remember most things Alex on that day humanity was given a stark reminder that's all that I remember it's an attack on Titan shut up okay anyway this is a part of the show where we answer questions from the jar community if you want to leave us questions head over to the suggestion thread on the Reddit and we might

answer it if it's funny and epic enough Billy is the best jar pet writes in fuck me what are your favourite and least favorite things about living in the UK living in the UK living in the UK is my favourite and least

favorite thing about living in the UK okay okay going to expound or okay okay okay okay okay I have one favorite thing we have quite a

broad variety of food available to us yeah anything we appreciate and drink accessible and drink yes all of that kind of shit

is very easy for us to get a hold of we have many many different kinds of restaurant chain restaurants and other restaurants the chain restaurants that's most of what we have

we don't have like like nice got the best sense of humor as well In Europe, yep What do you mean in Europe Dogema The best sense of hearing me in the world

Yeah in the world bro Who's funnier than the UK Israel He's got a point Shit James is always I forgot about the Israel They're known for their humour It's full of the Jewish

They're known for their fucking gut-busting humour over there Oh fuck actually Yeah Jim's onto something No James was right He didn't mean Of the Jewish

He was right It's full of Jewish people. Of course they're going to be funnier. We ain't got a chance. Mm. That must mean that like America's more funny than the UK as well. Well, Jewish people live here too.

No, but we don't have that many Jews in the UK. Got more than you. You are one. What? Probably the least Jewish. Blonde hair and blue eyes. And? It's not...

This is not how it works. Okay. People in the comments. might have a problem with that one. While in your army yet again. Like a true blonde hair blue rights. Should we actually answer that question?

We were answering it. Yeah. No, like, I wanted to actually actually answer it. No, that's a good... My least favorite thing is how good it is. Oh, for fuck.

No, a genuine one is that a pro-an con with the humor is very funny. Got a good sense of humor, but we're also fucking down all the... time.

We're a miserable bunch. But also, we're not. Also, we're not. You never really know with the British. Who's the biggest party animals in Europe? The English. If we go aboard, mate, the English are known for being. We're actually just tyrants. Yeah.

So. I, honestly, there's not really many bad things about... Okay, okay. The only thing is that it's very politically unstable right now. Yeah, that's it. Just Brexit. Brexit has fucked everything.

Everything was going good. everything was going good up to that. I was like, England, I quite like it here. Then they were like, you know what? Let's ruin it. I was like, I don't want to be here. No, now I don't want to be here. Yeah, James Cameron. He made a great movie.

Kirk Cameron. Or is it Cameron James? Kirk Cameron's a good guy. Wait, is it Kirk or Cameron or Cameron Kirk? It's Kirk Cameron, isn't it? Yeah, it's Cameron Kirk Cameron made that movie. Kirk Cameron saved Christmas. That's classic video that one.

The thing is, it would be easier. to know if I'd lived in another country as an adult so I could more directly compare bits and pieces. I quite like the mostly mild weather. There's no extremes you have to

worry about. Well, some are pretty wacky. Apart from recently but that's not the country's fault. That's Go to Hawaii. China's fault. Thanks, China. I've spent a fair amount of time, like, having to live in another country in fin for myself

not in the holiday capacity and I've talked a lot to adults in the country in Norway to try and find out things about it it all seems quite like nice and stable it reminds me of England before Brexit reminds you of England before Brexit yeah everything was just fine

everyone just getting on yeah so everyone has their own equivalent like apocalyptic thing happening you know whereas when you actually really think about it our daily lives haven't changed that much because of some shit like Brexit and I'm sure like it's similar in like America like that's the worry is it could change it yeah but that's always the thing though isn't it like until it actually happens you know fully know there's

always the next thing everyone's like well we're fucked I mean yesterday in America 20 people went out to Walmart and they got killed yeah that's what I mean 10 people just just Donald Trump full stop and like the response he's had how many people actually were killed and There were two shoe things in the same day As of us recording this, yeah Yeah Yeah But that ain't about the UK

No, that's just Just another country where they I think Landscape underrated British landscape Especially around here, yeah It's actually stunning We live in a beautiful area

Honest to God You can't Which are the Cotswells There are some places in the UK That are like tucked away That's so awesome It's not very striking around me I've got some

It is striking around here We're just used to it because we've grown up here. Where they? Go to the top of the white horse. Yeah, the downs. Pretty crazy. You've got the downs.

Do you remember that? The Castlecum Village is fucking gorgeous. Lake exists. There's also near, and we have Bath, but I take that quite. Bath is very cool. But we have near where I go to university, Virginia Water, Roman Ruins and a lake and shit. So that's like... If you're a history fan, there's loads of cool stuff.

Yeah. Castles. You know what? was weird, just on the subject to Bath for a sec. I was on holiday in Italy walking through this what would have been a Roman city. They had like old, really fucking old Roman bullshit

in there. And I was thinking, this is really reminding me of somewhere the way it's laid out. And then it clicked, oh, it's like Bath. That's why I fucking really recognize the architecture and the way of doing things. Just the way the streets were laid out. This is just Bath. Do you like how they just named a city?

That's a positive. The fucking whack names of like all the towns and roads and everything here were just so strange what was dorking deep dean say it again dorking deep dean that's that's one of the trains that train stations that i go through

that's what i mean it's so absurd yeah on the reading to gatwick train you will go through dorking deep dean that's awesome well like we have a place near us just called box we'll also right you know how blackwater is the most like video game name for anywhere we have black water exists

yeah in the UK but probably is like a river run as well somewhere some shit like that should I just Google it Riverwood River run Something to do a river

No there's a there'll be like fancy river somethings Yeah any other Bits and pieces about the UK Well we're on Water It's nice having water to drink

Basic like Yeah Countrywide You know like we're Pretty good A pretty good democracy We're not like oppressed by a government

particularly. It's nice unless you want to make like a edgy stuff then you might get in some issues which is a problem

it's nice that's a negative I'd say paying for surgery not for long oh yeah it's gonna be like privatised

and we're all gonna fucking die I'm cool of it I'm not cool with the NHS being privatised at all no I'm not I'm just cool dying

all right I mean yeah let's keep it more surface level because like if someone in fucking Mexico is listening they don't get a shit about the NHS.

Someone in Mexico doesn't know. That sounds like their problem. They're not in the UK where everything was glorious once upon a time. Any other bits on the UK want to comment before moving on the next question? Everyone loves a cheeky pint. Yeah. Alcoholic capital of the world. No.

Probably up there. Maybe not number one. Germany is higher, obviously. The Italians love a drink. Thank you as well. Just Europe in general. Everyone loves alcohol here. Except me.

I'm the oddity. I'm the one in a million. He's that space oddity. Ground control to me. Flood Lighter says with Minecraft being a hot meme, when are we going to get a tour of the Jow Boys' old Minecraft world? It doesn't exist anymore. He needs his putting world to shame Jalmedia style.

There was no, there's no Riverwood or River Run in the UK. Just wanted to say that. was what I was googling. Lame. There isn't. Maybe like a Latin. There's one in the US. It's got River Run.

A few of those. But yeah, that old MicroFod was kind of crazy. Crazy. It just doesn't load now because it's so fucking big. You can't see it. Is that true? It's stuff we built in like 2011 or whatever. You have it.

You imported it over to the Xbox One. You have it on your account somewhere. Saved, yeah. Huh. Because you could import, obviously, because it was like, and they would just build the rest of the world around. what you had done. Which would be amazing for us now

because it was a huge castle and then now we just have this map so far about it, wouldn't we? Huh. It's just play Minecraft again, everybody. Yeah, but we're gonna have to recreate my ironclad because that's the bottom of the sea

and I'm kind of sad about that. Jim, what we did, yeah, Minecraft's the best. Why's the best game ever? We can see the tunnel we fucking blew up for the entirety of the map to go to my house?

We should probably, we could just do that. We basically second life to Minecraft for a while. Yeah. Like, real life didn't exist, Minecraft was real life. Going to school was such, was just such, like, I don't want to do this. Yeah. I want to go to, I want to go and like wake up in my real world.

Yeah. I need to get to work, man. This school shit's getting in the way of my job. I always wanted to, it was like, well, I've got that thing I want to do in Minecraft. It was such Zen playing Minecraft. It was. It was incredible. We need, we should do. Do walk through our world on all the adventures that took place.

Oh, fuck me. we can go through my golden floor if it's even there the hair of Brian actually turned up in our world as well yeah pretty crazy that we're the only people um I've never been back there to all the buildings

you set on fire of mine because I never went back are so scared they're all just there in ruin there's going to be really eerie about seeing that again yeah it's like finding ruins in my real life like Roman ruins and like just trying to piece together what happened it and how I'd love to

obviously we've talked about this before the legendary Minecraft server like 2B2T or something that it's like the biggest and oldest Minecraft server right yeah it's it's got like a wiki page of all the like history that went on there what the fuck so the starting area the spawn area is fucked it's sort of like if you survived it like no you did it you made it but you probably won't why is it fuck because there's been like battles that took place there 4chan got involved and things like that and so there was like normie some YouTuber did a video about it and then so the four channels came to ruin it for all the normies that were trying to join it because of the

YouTuber who spoke about it and there was this great war between that's crazy though I'm just thinking of hundreds of it's like it's like a ecosystem that's like I have to make sure I got the name right how long until like VR has just is like that you know yeah people just live like entire like imagine if um all humans just disappeared, how much weird data there would be to kind of break down to figure out like human patterns and stuff. Yeah, like these weird

programs we designed to like play around it and stuff. And fight. Yeah, it's, there are no rules. That is the... That's the one rule. There are no rules. So people have obviously like modded it and hacked it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's total anarchy. But it is called

2B2T and there is a very good wiki page about it. There's probably a good like black mirror premise in there Yeah Old game Like virtual worlds That have been abandoned and stuff But I think we should actually do that

I would actually love for us to do that I want to look at it tonight now It's in my head to look at that Minecraft world We'll see if I can find it We need to look at the same time And discover it all Why can't we all just Go on it then

Go get your Xbox Anyway sir Quintus has a question for us Along similar lines It's actually a really good question If the whole JARCast were to get into Super Smash Bros including jar pets what would happen in their reveal trailer

and what would be their splash screen slash tagline e.g. Ridley hits the big time. I'd think of Jim and Billy as like a duck hunt duo thing. So what would his splash screen intro be? It would just be Billy on his head. Yeah, but there's got to be some text. Claws into battle or some bullshit.

Farts, you fart a lot, Billy farts a lot No, she used to Farts into the fray Because she was... That should be Argies as well What would Arguees be? Argue screams into Salutations

Into salutations Screams Screams onto the screen Something bullshit like that Yeah James What would yours be? Something car related

Drifts into Cringe Drifts into cringe No I don't know I can't You've got rid of those I can't drift Because my car physically can't do that He'd be like Captain Falcon

That doesn't matter dog He's creative He's a car and all that Yeah That's right yeah What'll mine be Aki Aki bounces into battle

something really corny cartoonish shit Jim I don't fucking name what about Rubin well the obvious is to say that I twerk into battle well that's like I can't actually twerk so well like praise praise the gay away

some shit I'd be a priest just fuck it that would be my character in smashers I'd be a priest so I can go like this with my cross and shit and that'd be my move palutina ditto no because I was

This shows is lame. Mightn't be cool. I kick ass for the Lord. Any other jar pets, Gaius? Gaius. Fights. You just be like a lot of scratches this way through. Spin time.

Spin time. Yeah, spin time. Guy has spins. That could be like his side B. Like, spin. Okay, let's go through the full move list then. Right, everyone's got moves. My forward tilt would be Billy Lunge.

Billy Lunge. Yeah, you have to make them as Japanese sounding as possible like flowery adjectives and shit Yeah That would be my down B Just Billy No, it's more of like

Rosalina and Luma You fucking know Like I can throw Billy And she fights separate from me And then I go Bealie So then if Billy Is he's fighting against Argi

Argi is instantly agro Because of Bii Billy deals double damage to Argy good question well paisley what about paisley then is really cute into the fight scratches she is a scratcher she's just um pursing boots from shrek 2

but she's not going to be that way forever we'll see she's gonna turn into she's a seal she is she's um young anakin at the moment she's still got to become a bath I'll try spinning that's a good are you an angel I'll try spinning.

Spin time. Yeah. Try spin timing. That's a good trick. Got a more serious one from Dengadley Dan 1-3-2-4-7-1. Howdy? Any advice for those of us who will be starting sixth form soon? Also, for the rest of the episode, Jim cannot talk.

I'm not going to obey that shit. No. It's not even going to read the rest of that. Okay. Jamie can't give advice because he wasn't there. Well, we all... Actually, no. My advice would be to attend.

My advice would be... Don't I? My advice would be to attend, but don't let your teachers funnel you into a degree path, for example, because I would just presume if you were doing six-form, it would be people to do a degree as well. Don't let them follow you down a degree path you don't want to do. But equally, do listen to what they say. Make sure you actually want to do it as well. That's very nuanced shit that you have to know about yourself.

But I just want to... Don't let them... make you think that, say, a creative subject isn't worth doing. I'd say, because I had that. Don't do stuff that you think you're supposed to do. Yeah, I did politics because I kind of thought I was supposed to do it. Yeah. No, that's always a recipe for boredom.

Yeah. No, yeah, I'd say, try and figure out which subjects you actually connect with as fast as possible, because if you're quick enough and you figure out your kind of general feelings, there are ways you can. Yeah. You have time to swap around subjects and stuff and not have to repeat a year. About sixth form is. Yeah, to actually attend

Make sure you do well Because it's like the bridge for university You have to just make sure you do well there So that you can just I guess relax of it Because you've gotten into a university or whatever Right, yeah So

Yeah, I just make sure you do well There's also a bit of a Like difficulty jump from GCSC Massive GCSC is pretty easy I really When we did them anyway I really struggled with

The Sixth Form shit at first Yeah, no it's way more intense it's way more at university and it is setting you up for it exactly yeah um i don't think it does a very good job of being the bridge though no i don't think it's stupid it's a terrible job it's a terrible bridge between university because just stupid things i wasn't taught in sixth form that yeah so yeah like i remember being told in primary school that i had to write joined up because that's what they expect in secondary school but they don't they ask it they just ask you not to yeah actually i think you remember being told shit like that it's just like not true

being taught to write joined up handwriting yeah i don't know why anyone has taught that so it just makes it way harder to read way like nice just print just yeah just just separate those left of them yeah hey ain't stupid so um that's the main thing about sick form is that you are treating it for the set up for university yeah so just just try and do all right and don't take the piss basically yeah don't take the piss basically yeah don't take the piss Don't lay in bed and then get up at like four because your brother got home and you go play Batman for a few hours or something But Jim might have not felt compelled to do that if he did subjects that

You didn't want connected. Yeah, I guess what did you know I would have preferred to just have gotten a job Yeah, like from no honestly is it is it for some people it just isn't a fit Like no doesn't connect It was around about sick form where I started getting fed up with like education stuff I was always fed up with it So I think you're a glorious Sun Worshiping Academic like myself You love reading books

The thing is like academically I was fine But then when I read the thing about academia It's like Oh I was using the term academic To describe like the university lecturer type Academic That's right

Yeah that's I just call them all the academics I didn't mean myself as an academic Or I meant like I enjoy it Academia is a university thing That's what I use it now is to describe if you're academic you're good at exams jumping through who at university if you're a good academic

it's not because you're good at exams it's depending on what you study obviously like what I do is they expect you to do lots of reading and know lots of philosophy and theology and things like that and that makes like a good academic sounds shit I also say if you actually are genuinely interested in one of the subjects um just ask questions a lot

Yeah. Make sure, like, if you have a teacher and you like the subject and you, I guess you trust that teacher, don't be afraid to, like, ask them questions about things. You need to make your interest known, otherwise it's, you know, and they might actually advise you as to where to go to university and what to do. Like, there's so many people in the system, they can't read your mind, so you need to let know. I get questions about sometimes from people in my Twitter DMs about university, and I don't know how to, answer them a lot of the time yeah because some of them are just too much for me to answer without doing it at the end at something like this at the most basic level no one actually knows what the fuck they're doing yeah so I don't like to advise people because it's like yeah

yeah but I know what I was doing so always remember that too everyone's in the same boat no one actually knows what the fuck's they're doing like people say experiences at studying film and it's like well it's different wherever you go studying film yeah so that's like even just on that level different courses different yeah exactly different exam boards different everything well universities as well like the exam boards are set by the set by the university exams are set by them so yeah last quick tip for sixth form

um sneak four cans of st. It's basics ale into school every day don't do that you'll be a cool as a cucumber fucking cucumber you're expelled within a week

no no if you hide them because you sneak it yeah you sneak them and then you tune gum and back And they'd sneak it Surely if a like No, I shouldn't even be saying this shit And encouraging it Yeah, don't

Don't do hurt I don't I don't know to say his name For the weekend Jim, say that one Don't bring it closer to my eyes Don Kiviks out

I've heard it said properly before but I can't remember you say it Whenever you heard it? There's that Terry Gillian movie that was released of a similar name. People know. Can we get a cast with only James and Rubin so they can propagate a never-ending cycle

of non-stop triggering? How, me moving on good terms at the moment, actually. We don't trigger very much. Are they implying that you guys trigger the audience or each other? They trigger each other, right? Yeah, I think that's... That's not my obvious. Maybe we can just trigger each other and have this loop going a bit.

It's been fine recently. We haven't triggered each other at all. Yeah, since you've been putting that trigger finger to good use on each other. Stank Man John has one that might end off the show here. When you were growing up, what were some of the things you probably shouldn't have been exposed to, e.g. wildly inappropriate film slash TV slash games or whatever. Nothing. I don't, there's nothing I shouldn't have been, like. Yeah, does it mean? media or other shit I found the grudge I found the grudge very scary when I was about seven

when I saw but do you think that's like damaged you no just scared me when I was younger yeah I didn't think like being scared is like scared is probably good for young minds yeah because now I can watch a film obviously but like fantasy is all right imagination I don't know nothing I didn't think I shouldn't have yeah have seen what about like I remember finding I guess it shows how old I am, but like porno mags. Pretty sure like a plumber or something left somewhere once. I was probably too young to look at it, but I remember just looking at me like, I don't know what this is.

I remember before sex ed, so it was just like, I don't know what's going on. I remember going to the garage. I think my pee pee did get hard, but I was just like, well, what's going on here? I remember going to the the the place where they fix cars The garage garage Yeah

Garage is that a garage? A garage? A garage Because we also call places where we get petrol garages That's because I think traditionally that's where you also get your cars There's a petrol station Anyway Whatever I remember seeing a calendar The engineer man's calendar

was of naked women. Yeah, that's normal. Even when I was just... I remember seeing my cousins, actually, yeah, when he was... God, hang on, fine. He must have only been... It must have been 21.

I think he was his 21st birthday, actually. Right. And... Or something like that. It was 18th birthday. I can't think how much older he is than me right now. But I was like four or five or six or something.

And he'd been given this calendar as a joke, this like, babes calendar. And I'm going to see in that and being like, Why do my balls be pumping coming in? That's been the Jarkast, everybody. I hope you enjoyed. Why my bulls be pumping coming in.

This one's definitely being called spin time. Spin time. Try on your dogs. No, don't. Try the spin time. On a laminate floor, something shiny floor, not a carpet. You'll hurt them. Frickette ends.

Yeah. No animals are hard. I'm going to spin time. one of you soon. Anything you could, I think one of us could probably spin time you. Yeah, do you want to spend time you downstairs in the kitchen? It would be a good intro.

Nah, that's not big enough. We need a bigger one. Spin time you are in Swindley. Spin time you're in the bathroom, though. Nah, it's too small. Got any final messages in the last 20 seconds here? Um, you need a pace of screaming. What? Is that not her crying really loudly in the background?

I don't think so. That? Yeah. It's like a whistle or something. That's not a fucking dog. Whatever. Alex is a dumb. Bitches be snitches.

That was powerful.