JAR Media Posdact - The CHEEKY Spectrum - JARCast Episode 363

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies PO Box: IHE PO Box 4268 CALNE SN11 7AY Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 08:57 Housekeeping 24:04 Jim's Friday Night Anecdote 27:42 Alex x AngryJoe 29:30 James Gushes About Nier Automata 33:25 Mid Break 45:36 Question Segment: A Whale Swallowing 48:02 Does James like avacado? 48:40 James' Parents Taste 51:32 Alex Hair Like Down 52:32 Red Notice 55:03 Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League 1:01:36 Good Starter Car 1:03:37 Bacon 1:04:39 Patron Segment

It's a good afternoon morning evening on our ladies and gentlemen Jamie is not very well this episode so he will be present on the show as you can see we won't be saying anything because he's lost his voice it's really tragic we are have been devastated

and we're really hoping put your prayers in chat send us postcards send postcards for Jamie to the PO box and we'll weed them on on the cast to get better through his are struggling illness uh what

I was just trying to hold back something what it's just it's just the way that they could improve the PO box they could call it something funnier I don't know what do you think Jim what could be funnier than

poo the poo box why you look at me pretending that's not gold none of you reacted to why would it be cold I'm sorry if we're gonna refer to the PO box as the poo box

like sorry I'm not involved in that Jim was saying I can't do that for long Do what With you know Hold my Huh Parley

I don't know what that word means James does I know what parley means It's in It's in the Captain Jack Sparrow movie right No it's in Jayze's album Could 444 I don't care

Okay Sure Yeah Welcome to the JAR Media We are really We're shivery I'm not I'm not

You're not Shivering You're shivering You're shiverriss though I am shiverwist I believe Just like our patrons Who make this show possible Over at patreon.com

And help fund us on our drug exploitation business. Yeah. Yeah. And of course, get their wacky names, their wacky patron names. If they're a, it's a dibby tier, right? Or above. Yeah. Did someone come like bob my eyeball?

I feel like I've got a sty coming. Everyone's always talking about sties, but I never get them. Have you ever had a style? Let me just touch wood a little minute. There is literally with there, you fucking. You can't say that So I'm Fucking nice person

You fucking lovely person There's wood right there And that's more authentic wood Than the processed Table Yeah What was I say You were saying

You were saying Sties Ah yes Yeah no sties for me I guess I got to talk Have you never had one Don't think so Are you serious

I get a stye like every week Really But what is it though It's like a pimple on your eyelid that rubs your eye. Yeah, but it's just like liquid. And you can't pop it. Yeah, you just got a white. It's just like liquid and you can't pop.

It's just like a pussy fucking shit on your eyelid that you can't pop. And they call it a stye. No, but there's two different kinds where it's like inside the skin and then there's some that are like more external that do cause a bigger issue. There's got to be one jarling out there who's like a stary guy, you know? Yeah, there's all. one always comes out of the woodwork when we talk about something like actually

I've been studying studies for the last five years I've been at university studying styology get out of here with that no to be honest I retract everything I just said if you're dedicating

a lot of your time to a very specific subject then your life is worth more than mine styology yeah Yeah, if you're a Stiologist, hell, help me out Help me, so I've got one

Yeah, we can't help ourselves Yeah, we need you, we need you out there We do I can feel it, it's a bit stingy It's a bit stungy It's a bit stungy Yeah I need someone to get a little bit of like

Some scissors and just cut it out quickly But why does the human body do that to you? You get a bit stressed Yeah, and you don't sleep It kind of stabs you in the eye it's supposed to be it's our bodies we're telling us

we're being stupid and we should sleep more is it a sleep thing it's like an engine morning light on your eyeball yeah I find a lot of stress like symptoms of really dumb

yeah like blood coming out of your ass well yeah it's like oh yeah that's gonna help me relax in reality it makes the stress so much worse It's like, oh now I need to get fingered

Yeah Then you think all that's on your mind Is stress about being fingered Yeah, and then you get fingered And then it's all fine And there's no, there's no nothing to stress over And then you're like Oh wait, I was stressing about this thing

And then it makes you shit blood again Yeah She's just in a perpetual cycle Shitting blood Yeah Yeah the blood hole cycle Are you guys SINGB Quite regular?

Really? As of late, it has been, yeah. Like, over Christmas, because it's like, it's Christmas, okay? Nobody's eating anything well. We're just eating shit in chocolate because that's all... I actually lost weight over Christmas. That's good for you, bro, but I'm talking. No, no, no, no.

No, over Christmas it was just like, I tried to poo and nothing comes out. But the pack fire's coming out of my house. blood the what packets the backfires you know you do a shit and there's like a there's a bit of like gas that leaks you know i've i talked about this before the like when there's when there's when there's why do we always do this when there's fart stuck behind pain yeah so you it backfires imagine that but when you wipe it's just a load of blood Um, the good thing about my poop, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I'm being good once. I know I, I, I, I, I, s b, when stressed. So, I always know it's okay. so you know it's okay

so it does relax you yeah it's just like well this B is not dark because it's fine it's like I know my body now because I do it so in a wakily

okay um it's too no but saying that on the positive note of that if you do SB actually get it checked out yeah do see a doctor

get fingers we're not saying now if you sb that you should be like glad it's like a positive oh thank God I'm asking me actually goes to the doctor and get fingered yeah for sure for sure and then you can have the experience of being fingered

and it's a magical thing yeah yeah just hope you get Dr little hands I love the fact that I've been 20 years old I was fingered because it's quite an early age to get a prostate exam yeah I suppose it is you must have really asked for it

yeah you must have really convincing Doc I really needed it come on doc you were saying we've got past the S and B in sections. Yeah, no more S, no more B. Let's do some housekeeping

where we clean up some of those conversations from the previous episode. Just got a small handful here. There was one addressing James' insistence I'm bringing up this lead thing. Do you want me to read this? Oh yeah, let people be angry at me.

Cool, yeah, sure. Okay, James McComb 9525 says Don't be a dummy, James. put guys on a lead it only takes one accident for everything to end terribly if it will keep the dog and other animals safe for little effort on your part you may as well

let them off at beaches or such when they need to tie themselves out and explore do we want to talk about this because I'm happy to just lay down a few bits of opinion here to clear up my side because people are angry people are angry people are angry

people are angry but what I'm going to say is that people assuming that he's always off the lead and I'm not sensible where I live it's in the countryside in the middle of nowhere I'm walking down a road into a field

every dog in this area I know I know how they react any dog that is new I'm not sure of I control guys so that he's not going to be causing any issue I avoid them until I know how the dogs react it's happened recently with another collie

I'm taking the precautions to make sure that there's no harm done to anyone or anything but I also would say I've also seen comments about how you can't control the dog's instincts and that's not true it's not true and I can control Guy's instinct

because he hunts and you know he hunts on my command what do you mean he hunts on my command though no it's because we're the field of wall command And during summer, there's always loads of wild rabbits. So what's he going to do when he sees the wild rabbits? Is he going to run after the rabbits?

He wants to kill. But he waits. He waits until I tell him to go kill the rabbits. Why did you originally bring this up? You knew it was going to annoy me. Yeah, that's why I bring it up, because it annoys people. You get really angry, though, when it annoys people. Yeah, I'm like, man, these people are making assumptions about me being a bad owner, so I want to get angry.

But yeah, you're making assumptions, like, if you have a dog, you're just naturally doing what's best for everyone, like subconsciously because you know your own dog. It's like generally speaking, I would never ever, ever let any other breed, any other dog ever off a lead. And I would say that once you own a collie where their whole existence is off the lead, it changes things. And I imagine most of these people who are complaining about gasping off a lead, they're not going up in the middle of a city to the person walking their collie. off a lead and asking them why their collies is off a lead. We've seen it in London. We've seen collies folly's following their owner

who's not riding through the centre of London and the collie's not on a lead. People aren't going to stop that person to interrogate them about why their collies off a lead. But like, so what's, why do I have to be in the countryside where there's nobody and there's no dogs

and there's no cars? That's worth considering. But yeah, I'm a respectful owner I control guys when I have to. I just, I love that hunt thing. Yeah, no, he hunts, but it's because where,

where, because as soon as I knew those rabbits there, it'd be like, oh, when the first, like, summers I'd walk there, it'd be like, oh, guys, don't chase them, no.

And ever since then, he will slowly walk up and then wait. So he won't actually start to chase the rabbits until I tell him to. And which has obviously led to him. killing wild rabbits because he's a little hunter he's a little dog eat dog world

it is and it's just like as soon as I knew he killed it I was like I told him to stop and then he stood there and waited do you throw the rabbit from no that rabbit I buried you buried it I buried it why didn't you bring it home to have nice rabbits stew no because I buried it because

I think he punched the lung so it was it was dying and I watched it die and I felt so much much guilt because I commanded him to kill it that I buried it. I have respect for the Webbit. Did you have to put it out of its misery? No, put it

itself by his misery. How did it do that? It was so bad. Yeah. It was during like a sad day because I told him to go hunt them and he then killed it a rabbit. So it was like, oh, well I'm going to bury this rabbit. It was a really, it was a really bad. It was a tiny one

as well. It was so sad. But he kills things. Because he's a collie. Wait, but if, if he's a. If you told him to kill it, then... Yes, my fault. That's why I felt guilt, because I told him to kill it. Yeah, but if you didn't want it to die, then why did you let him kill it? Because I told him to hunt. I gave him the hunting permission, and then he killed the rabbit.

Then you felt guilty? Yes. Because it was on my command that he killed the rabbit. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yes. Why did you tell him to? Because he's a collier, and he loves it. I'm just letting him follow his instinct. Oh, right. So it was kind of like a...

self-sacrifice thing. Yeah. It was like fine guys, kill the rabbit. Chase them, get them. I didn't want it to be done. It was a sad one because it was, this rabbit went in to the bush because it's a long a hedge line. But the other bad rabbits that ran in behind it, scared it.

So then it ran out into Gaius' path. And then I just heard the squeal as guys, boom, got it. It was like, oh. Yeah. I've freed a few mice in my time. From where is she? She's somewhere. Yeah.

From the hunt problem. yeah when she was during her prime hunting days it was the certain one when when she was just messing with it like i i think um cats are if if you believe in morals cats are evil you know yes it's pure what do you mean because they're not they're not moral or they're programmed to be evil Like, they like to torture. Why did they evolve that way? Like, what about...

What were they rewarded from that torture? It's probably, like, a brain reward thing, like, causing suffering means I'm winning. You know? Well, at the time... They're all, like, narcissists. Because I think, imagine boats, like, a hundred years ago,

they had cats on the boats to kill wats. Yeah. So, they have always just been put to work to kill things. So now they just love it. But why specifically that... torture behavior you know because like love the whole should we get a bit pseudosciencey with it yeah yeah go on then um maybe it's there what's that word that people don't say enough dopamine i wasn't going to say it i was like no but there must be some sort of like

pleasure response when a cat is hurting something and their ears are tuned in to hear squeals. That's why you go to call a cat, because their ears are tuned into like, hear rats talking. Do you think it's gone yet? They can hear the rat squeaking that. That's dark.

They're like, I ain't gone. I'm waiting. Yeah, because this one mouse was like escaping between two bricks. And Billy, like, caught its rear leg with, like, one claw and just pulled it back out. Like scar and fucking lying.

Yeah. I was just like, And I could hear it going I can't reach the pitch of the minute because I'm a little bit congested but yeah it was squealing and I was like no I it's so unnecessary

you just had three Gial be you you've had three Gle she's just like torturing this this rat in the most holifyingly sadistic way yeah because you just know as well if I'd have like

just gone to bed that next morning there'd be like a rat brain or a mouse brain sorry I wouldn't save a rat like all half it's perfectly halved yeah I don't know how she did it but she was surgical yeah I've seen

the V obviously will never nobody will ever see these images but I've seen the various images of the things she's done and it is like there's a level two this where it's not there's nothing going on besides pure enjoyment of mutilating animals yeah

like how how can she perfectly do what she's done. I don't know, she's like a psycho artist with that stuff. It's really impressive. Well, speaking of psycho artist, Gay for Bray, 5693, said, nah, imagine dragons isn't that bad. It's just like this decade's Nickelback. You'll say to that.

I disagree. Nickelback's better. Nickelback made a few really good bangers. Yeah. Yeah. Spider-Man. And they've actually got good memes. like what memes the people have

of Imagine Dragons that aren't taking the piss out of Imagine Dragons Yeah I mean what Imagine Dragons memes are there Yeah the meme that they're shit Yeah like you can say it's a meme that they're shit But like you don't get like look at this photograph Like yeah

There's nothing you can do with Imagine Dragons music Because it's so empty Yeah Souless I remember there being some good like lyrics In Nickelback Yeah songs I mean, the lyrics in Imagine Dragon songs are hilarious

Oh, cutthroat It's, it's platitude music Yeah That platt music I just feel like Three times it's platinum music This is probably gonna upset people But it's like

The Taylor Swift circles And the Imagine Dragon circles Aren't that far apart Sheesh, what's happened to you? Yeah, I thought you're calm, James 180 much. What? You were like Taylor Swift's

number one millionth fan for a while. No. Taylor Swift has one good song and it's the one I've sang. She became a billionaire, bro. That's what happened. Yeah, and people are like, yeah, she's done it. No, because it's like, yeah,

no, because there's Charlie XXX exists. So in the pop, well, I'm not going to listen to Taylor Swift. That's the team. I hate what all of them represent. What? What do they represent? Mainstream music.

What do they represent? What do they represent? Cheekiness. Um, no. The opposite of cheekiness. Fakeness. Yeah. Is that the opposite of cheekiness?

No, probably not. Politeness? I wouldn't say... No. Cheeky's like fun You know Being cheeky isn't a bad thing It can be though

If you take cheekiness too far But I'd say that's more just like being annoying Cheekiness too far become annoying Is what you're saying I'm saying like If we're talking like a spectrum And cheeky's on there You go

Cheeky spectrum Yeah so let's say like there's normal then there's cheeky Wait, in the middle or on the side In the middle, normal's in the middle And then cheeky's to the right And then annoying circle No, it's a line

Oh Okay Shall I continue Normal in the middle Yeah Cheeky first notch on the right Yeah Annoying second notch on the right

So that's like maxed out You head in that direction You go cheeky and like everything up till cheeky is fun we enjoy cheeky but you go beyond cheeky and people aren't enjoying that like

where's farcical energy in there farcical I guess that would be like between cheeky and annoying so what would be in the other direction of annoying pleasant nice

but if yeah nice but if you keep going in that direction you get boring Does boring come after nice? Yeah Pleasant If you go beyond pleasant And like

You're too pleasant You're too normal No because that would be like up Ah If you're too normal That'll be up in the middle So just keep going left Yeah keep going left

And you get boring Yeah Yeah you've got no spice to you You haven't got no edge Yeah you've got like nothing yes yeah yeah

you're just being cordial it's like going to a ball or something you'll fly a cordial what about if you go up

that's what James was just saying that's normality I thought that was middle not up no middle mega normal

boring nothing going on like normal times yeah I guess normal up would be nothing and

and then normal down would be everything so that's like, it's like the political spectrum thing. Mm. You know. So where are you?

Um, I'm like bottom left. But not too far left. I'm gonna, I'm probably max out left. Wait, you're boring. And up a little bit.

You give yourself no credit, boy. I'm a bit, bit normal, I think. You're not normal. I'm rather pleasant, I'd say. no but you said you said your max out left which means you're boring yeah

dude I like metal gear that that is like so not there is that pleasantly normal no it's unpleasantly chaotic no I'd say it's boringly over normal times two boring normal times two

overly yeah my eyes keep blurring and I just I just don't know what I'm looking. You're just entering like a zonks there and in your... Well, because, like, the nose fills up with debris. And then brain is like, time to sneeze. And then my eyes are like, no. So just water comes out of them and then I can't see anything.

You're sneezing through your eyeballs. Yeah, I guess. The same, like, juices coming out, maybe. Yeah. I had a weird experience the other day. Explain. Go on. Um, I, it was late, right.

Um, and for those who don't know, I'm, I am smoking again. Um, I don't know if I ever mentioned since I last quit, but, I'd ran out of filters for my, are you allowed to say the C word? Definitely not allowed to say the F word, but you're allowed to say the C word. Cig. Yeah. Yes. Sig?

Yeah, without getting, what were you threatened? Yeah, my cigarettes are okay. It's called them tobacco sticks. yeah my my tobacco sticks i'd ran out of filters yeah and it was like 11 p.m oh so i was like only one place is gonna this was on a friday night oh and that place would be open on a Friday night yeah well i mean it's it's open um every night 24 hours so i'm walking at like 11 half 11 at night um to this this petrol station to get some and it's a Friday night

so people like have been drinking troubles about yeah and there's this this girl like slightly in front of me walking really fast and it's like half 11 at night and then she starts like running

like running clearly drunk and like stumbling into the road and then back onto the path and stuff I'm like what the hell is is going on here Yeah. So I keep walking and like she's getting further and further away. I'm on a mission to get my, my filters.

I keep going, she's out of sight now. I'm thinking she's probably been hit by a car and is dead now. Mm-hmm. Okay. Keep walking. Arrived at the garage. She's stood there at the booth. Right. Buying something. Oh.

turns around elf bar oh she was just hankering she was sprinting oh the 24 hour petrol station and then she she starts sprinting again oh stumbling all it she sprinted there and back to wherever the hell she was going for an elf bow well we've got to make the most of them while they're still around i suppose that's true they're being banned soon good ban it But I mean, do you think they're worth running for? No, an elf bar. If you're that addicted, I guess.

But I mean, like, I'm addicted to the same substance. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But I had no cigarettes. But I'm like, I'm going to just walk. Like, I'm going to get it. Maybe she's just trying to get extra steps in or something.

Maybe. Maybe. Got to get my pedometer out. I just thought it. you know those like man thoughts where it's like late at night and you're walking and then there's like a a girl running in the opposite directions and i'm wearing like this and it's cold so i've got my hood up and stuff i was just thinking like what if someone turns around and fucking what what you're doing then it starts attacking me

oh yeah so i'm just trying to get my secrets man i just i just need my hair yeah and she just wants her elf bar. Speaking of hits off at a delicious elf bar, I got a hit of my own by featuring in an Angry Joe video. I heard about this. You heard about this, did you?

I did. I guess annually Angry Joe does his disappointing games of the year lists. And he featured my destiny video in his segment on destiny

did he like did he feature you like like me speaking and stuff really yeah let's go angry Joe ah yes he's always been a friend of the show angry Joe yes yeah replying to Twitter threads

yeah giving his opinion on beans yeah honestly the best that is the most important thing in JAR legacy is that angry Joe talked about beans on Twitter to us. Oh. He expressed his hatred for them. When his video, when that section began, I was concerned at first because it was, it was using my, my video, like, verbatim.

And I knew it was like things I'd edited because of just certain things I know were in there. But then, yeah, it does transition into showing the actual. video and showing different reviews or whatever, which is cool. So shout out to Joe, baby. Thank you, angry Joe. Keeping it real out there. Keeping it angry.

He does keep her angry. He does pretty good job of keeping it angry. Did you guys want to do any other major thing before we go into the break and some questions?

I would love to talk about near automata yeah yeah because uh a game that came out seven years ago now seven years this year that came up um and i finally got around to playing it and finishing it and i don't think a game has ever affected me the way that game has did it make you bring a tear to your eye many like that game was painful really like shockingly painful it hurt like the the funny thing is like this game for a game that is so famous like everyone knows 2B everyone knows of Neal Automata

never had it spoiled for me nothing about it was ever spoiled like the way I found it and I've talked to you guys while it is the way that I perceived this game and what I perceived this game was completely wrong it's not that at all because it's you know I've seen the donkey video where he's focusing

on all these cute funny things did you think it was I thought it was that I thought it was this kind of thing that a game that's trying to you know make you question humanity and oh it does so much more than that it goes even deeper and it's like you I see it's two games near autonomous automata is not one game

it's two games you got the first half and you got the second half and that first half just makes you question then on that second play through you're like oh there's more here once it gets that second half it's like so the second half begins after your second play through

the second play through the second play through of the first are half ends and it like I've never seen a game designed better like the way this game is designed is some of the best like example of artistry in games like I can't explain but the final the final like hour it's like chef's kiss the most beautiful thing I've ever seen like it's genuinely intense and the soundtrack is stunning visually it's stunning it's got that kind of fucked up, like, um, designed to it. Like, this is like horror. This is like horror beyond my comprehension, like, level of artistic visual, visual.

And it is, I would recommend it to anyone, especially if you've not had it spoiled, because that shit will hit. And it's like, oh, I can say, that all I can say to the people who play it is that on my first, last playfield, I was going to finish the game, I started the Pearl Harbor logs, then found the crashed flight suit. soul box godbox then the tower and that that for people who've played it they know that that's pain that's some level of like

horrific fucking like you're gonna cry and you're gonna feel shit and you're gonna love it I would definitely recommend new automata it is chef's kiss the best game I've ever played

it's been on my wish list for about five years but gameplay wise it's really fun really fun hack and slash it's just the the animations and the movement and it's all so beautifully elegant that you just love it.

It's also like a bullet hell game. And the way it mixes genres and the way the artistry in it is perfect. It's great play. I'll go to it someday. And I mention this specifically because I'm actually seeing the soundtrack played by an orchestra in London

at the North Bank, South Bank, center. So I'm going to mention that in a few weeks. It's good to say now that I have played the game and it is going to loop back to it play it please hell yeah

yeah Jim I just want to shout out the Mad Max game because it's kind of fun yeah nice and on that note we'll see after these messages

yeah bye bear bear Buy bear bear I do declare Buy bear bear Bear Bear Shirts and mug available now Check the description below

Yeah If you get thirsty And there is no water around you Don't eat snow Let it melt then drink it What do you think I normally like to let my urine freeze twice before I drink it

Is that what you're supposed to? I'll get my urine frozen twice not bloody anything else I'm more of a frozen three times type of one

is James Bond just like just out of date uh yeah I think he's come here dearie give me a little hey that slut

give it give it a shake don't stare at dude yeah he's a scumbbag he's mega outdated no I think

I want Be him, literally. I want to be him. You want to withhold toxic masculinity, do you? No, I want to drive submarine cars. Yeah, with a mega hot babe. A hot babe. Octopussy.

Yeah. You want octopussies. I don't stick to Uno Pussy I'm over an octopussy type of a guy. Wait, what is he? what's the point he's a he's a rich asshole with a raging boner

I've sort of got a license to kill kind of thing and to bang whores a license to bang whores yeah he's um fucking slow that dumpy down

sorry just talking about having a license to bang a whore or two baby a whore yes or a prostitute you know James Bond he wasn't banging prostitutes for yes he was rich James Bond all of them and he had a license to kill no they weren't they weren't they were they were his no they were not funny actually they weren't they were they were part of the ploy to get the state secrets he was after, you know, it's not

fostering itself, pause. So they deserve to be killed. He didn't kill them. No, okay. His enemies killed them. Canonically. What? I just had a funny hookup, that's all. Canonically,

every James Bond, every James Bond when he retires. What is he doing? Where's he going? Nevada. Why? Nevada, the fucking one in Europe. No, no, why, if you're James Bond,

why are you going to go to fucking Nevada? Nevada, what's the one in Europe? They'd all go to Monte Carlo. I didn't even know where that is. Monaco. What? If you're a spy, who's MI6, brother. Why are you going to waste your time going to Nevada?

No, Nevada, the, what, uh, why can't I, we were going to go there, then COVID happened? Amsterdam. Are you talking about weed or are you talking about casinos? What's happening in an Amsterdam? I'm talking about legal prostitution. It's James Bond. You don't need legal prostitution.

But he's James Bond. He needs the license to kill. As if he's not going to be already married. Yeah, but that man is not getting married. True. Yeah, you can't. He's a psychopath. Yeah, you're like actually, yeah. But surely it would be.

No marriage for Bond. Here's my take. We need a gay, James Bond. Yeah, Daniel Craig. Bring him back, make him go. No, no, no, the white would not have, they would not be okay of that. Their masculine role model cannot be gay. The masculine role model has to be an asshole. Chase Bond's not an asshole.

Yeah, he is. No, it's not. He's a really affectionate loving man. He just manipulates everyone he's ever been in. contact roof. Yeah. He's like it... No, I'm not getting into this. He's like if what?

A lover boy, sort of. It's not a lover boy. He is a lover. Why do you have the hiccups? I don't know. I'm just stuck with the hiccups now. Oh, on the subject of a psycho. Here she is. Beely.

Psycho Billy. Cascase. Far, far, far, far. That's the face of a being that likes to slaughter and kill it. That's Billy Bond right there. Billy Bond? She's... That's what Pear Bond means.

Pair Bond Bond. Pair Bond bit. Is it a bit strange that I'm sat like this facing you guys but away from the camera? Yeah, how do you think I think when I sit there? You always choose to sit here and never let me sit here. No, I'm sitting here now. Suck it. I like having the corner because it's by the light so I get extra warm.

It's like toasting me. It's the light that turned me off. Because my eye. You see exactly? Bishop to fuck fur. Okay, so good afternoon. I was waiting. Waiting for what?

oh my god stop using your hiccups let's keep talking about James Bond there do you know what Casino Royale is the best James Bond movie Casino Royale rocks because I've seen it recently and it's like man this movie is 10 out 10 it's a fucking great it's fire as hell

it's fire as fuck and then it got followed up by Quantum of Solis which has some good parts in it but otherwise quite a letdown and then the rest of the kind of shit as well it's got maybe one quarter of one good part and the rest of the whole movie is trash wouldn't you um contrarianning quantum of solace

i didn't think it was that bad it still has that same good quality of it just doesn't have the whiting quality the whole like opening like it's shot like just sit and watch it and try and explain what is happening i can explain it pretty well three alpha mo's black chasing of as in the hills of italy he he and like the the car chase is filmed terribly Yeah, it's not, it's not a good car chase. It looks awful. Not when you have the car chase of Casino World as well. It's like, you're following that.

Come on. Yeah, it's like choppy as hell. The action sucks. The plot is the plot of like Rango, but worse. Um... Rango. Yeah. Control the water.

Control the people. It's like the same plot. But Rango's fire. I keep getting Rango and wear YouTube shorts. Good. I don't know why. Johnny Depp, though, can't like him anymore. You can.

Yeah. But no, I think the casino wear especially is a fucking great film. And you should definitely watch it again, because the casino scenes are like, ooh, good. Yeah, they're very entertaining. And James Bond actually does, like, fall in love in that one. And then he kills her. Yeah.

When are they going to remake it, Battle Royale? That really is a thing. Is James Bond in Fortnite? How can he? Would you mean how can he? John Wick is in Fortnite, isn't he? Yes, two versions of John Wight. That's like the same thing.

You know? Just remove the beard. Well, you've got Raiden without a cock in there. Radin without a cock? Yeah, Wading in the... Because obviously it's Metal Gear Solid 2, Wadden. obviously he has bulge in that

he's been debulgified in Fortnite they should have the skin from Metal Gear Solid 2 when Raiding gets tortured and stripped naked and then he runs around covering his crotch yeah because he's got such a huge cock

in that guy yeah yeah she has to fat whang so he runs around hiding his penis from the guards so it's like double stealth you've got to hide from the guards and you've got to hide your penis

that game's crazy that game's so good you guys whenever you talk about metal gear it just sounds like you're just making something up

to try and trick me but they're always true yeah yeah yeah because that's also the game where they introduced the gay vampire

vamp yeah vamp the gay vampire or the bi vampire you might be asexual bisexual bi-pire Yeah

He's just very Flirtatious I guess Pervert Slutty Yeah the pervert vampire Would be the best Description A bit slutty

He is a bit slutty Well there's the bomb The bomber guy Bummer Yeah what's he called I think he's called Fat Man After the nuke Yeah

Oh right He's called Fat Man And he skates around on rollerblades making bombs And which one? Like a solid two The same one where Ryden's cock is out All real

It's also where you learn That Otocon's father killed himself Because his wife cheated on him With Otocon His son That's dark

It's dark as hell And Ottercon explains this to his half-sister because her mother cheated on their father with him As she's dying And her nickname is E-E because her name is Emma Emmerich What do you mean as she's dying? His sister is dying And he's like, I'm sorry the reason dad killed himself

Is because I slept with your mum Oh And And then her nickname is E.E. And as she dies, she says, you know, I always hated it when you called me E.E. And the whole game he's been calling her E.E. And then she dies. And like her pet parrot is there.

Oh, my God. On the Othocon shoulder? Yeah. Your hookups gone yet. And that Othococon. And his father is the one in Phantom Pain? Yeah. And then that's...

And Ottercon is the mean one, the anime's... Yeah, who pesses himself when you first meet him, the Melga Solemone. Because he's a pussy. Oh my God. I think I'm just going to have to try and brave with the hiccups. Or scare. Or just don't... We can finish recording. Thank you for watching this episode.

Alex has got the hiccups. I'm watching this episode of Metal Gear Solid. I really wanted to know a couple of these. Are there any Metal Gear questions? Yes. Oh. We're only answering them. Me and Jamie in Metal Gear mode.

Here's the challenge, though. Every time you ask a question and you hiccup, you have to start from the beginning of the question. Okay. Dibby collector says, Hey guys, do you think that you can survive a whale swallowing you? Like from Pinocchio? No, I just kill myself in the process.

Um... I'd survive, but I've got such like a fear of vore. Oh, this poor baby scared of vore. I feel like there's enough of an ecosystem inside a whale to survive. But I feel like I'd be so creeped out by the concept. Being in a big mouth. You know, being vored and surviving. There's something very wrong about that.

Well, you're going to die, so you might as well die. But it's not like it's got big teeth. which makes it like it's got big brushes yeah but that's freaky you're stuck in there yeah but you're going to die you can go out through the blowhole why would you not die

where are you going to get out out out of my mouth yeah you'd make it hiccup do go do go no I just I just end it what's the point

there's no point being inside the way Whale. No, you can live in it. And, where, and do what? Live. How many people have had the perspective of living in a whale for the rest of their life? Is that not valuable? No, because I get bored after a day.

No. No, but you're having to survive. You're like ancient man again. Every day is a struggle. You don't have time to be bored. You gotta, like, craft a fishing rod and fish in its mouth. And then they'll eat a shark, then I'm living. with a shark?

Maybe. But the shark's going to be like, shit, I'm in here too. Yeah, we better team up. Yeah, but I'm his food. It can eat me. Yeah, but it can eat you for one day and then starve.

Because a shark isn't going to know how to fish. Maybe it can help you fish. Can't fish on his own. Inside a whale. Yeah. Blue whales are big. They're enormous.

They're ridiculously huge. Nah, I'm not living inside a blue well. I try my best, but I'd get frightened. I'll slash gel media is this one for James. Does James fuck with avocados? Yeah. They're the paste I use in my flashlights. Oh.

What the word? Green slime. Let's see paste them, baby. some baby I gave you a comedic answer to your silly question okay don't hate me don't hate the player hate the game oh um an obvious humor 6 63636 uh I get to say it again obvious humor 3666 can we hear more of James's parents's

terrible taste in media he mentioned mentioned their love for Keith Lemon before and Imagine Dragons in the last cast But we need to hear more It gets to a point When you become desensitized to us I don't know what their shit opinions are But I know my mother's addicted to TV And only watch exclusively shit American daytime TV

Like what? So like clearly there's like no intelligent Appreciation for media there What's their Like favourite movies? I don't know What's one that you've seen them watching more than once? I couldn't even say

But they like It's like anytime there's a movie It's like yeah it's just a bit crap It's like so generic and just like shit Those movies What about What's that movie you watched recently By Guy Ritchie

The Covenant That's the type of shit they'd like And they think is amazing Yeah That's a good example What about What about music Well my dad

My dad loves the 80s Huh Normal New Order and it's like, you know, yeah, sure there's a few duds in there, but, you know, there's some bangers in there, so I can't criticize those. But then my mom likes to imagine dragons, and it's like, oh, yeah, ew. But then, like, food.

And obviously, in the question as well on media, but it's like the best way to describe some of my parents is that it has to be beige. Yeah. British beige. Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, they, they fucking love Gregs. Like, they don't like, they will complain. If they go to a nice restaurant and complain, it's too flavorful.

like you can take them to you can take them to the nicest spot but then they'll be like oh I had to go to Greg's on the way home to actually get food that made me actually fill me up yeah it's like that had various colours on the plate

yeah do they like red notice oh no they literally they yes yes but they also love waitrose um weather spoon weatherspoon's food they think weather spoons food is amazing

it's like that shit comes out of a microwave yeah that shit sucks yeah it's like no I can't talk to you about anything because you literally think that opinion invalidated so do you think your parents like watched the Snyder cut

I'm pretty sure they have I'm pretty sure they have and I think they liked it there no seriously I saw them watching the shit suicide scored recently within the last few months and obviously they love that everyone loves that one

a lot of people do Jesus Christ yeah that movie sucks I like the music there it's really fire autistic grass 964 says Alex should get his hair even longer like down really far

poor lad's been living the dream far too long I agree what does that mean That's it. That's not a question. It's just like a threat. Yeah, and you deserve to be threatened. What does that mean, though?

You've been living the dream. The curly hair dream. But what does it mean? How would I suffer from it? It gets even longer, like, down really far. You've got to restart the question because you... Well, I think what they're saying is that... It's not even a question.

What are they saying? I don't know. It's scary, though. I can't translate for them. They can have a wee word at their question a little bit, Bella. It's not a question, it's a statement. I think they want Alex to have emo here.

Well, speaking of emo hair, well, actually, speaking of Red Notice, weirdly, uh, Luzia, I.O.11111 says, in a lot of, like, a lot, a lot of cast. Oh, fuck. Just read the question There have been oddly recurring discussions

about this property called Red Notice What are James's thoughts on this property now that he's had His movie awakening And could you talk about it A little more thanks

Well I had a beautiful lovely time of Jamie Watching Red Notice It was a fun It was a fun watching experience Because it was so fucking shit The film is It was hilarious

It was funny Because it was just so bad So I have a good I have a good nostalgia for watching that movie But I know the movie is absolute dog shit So Love that twist I naturally even being

Half as intelligent Even like appreciating film in the way I am now Like yeah that film's dog shit It's not that bad Ryan Reynolds Funny He's funny in that movie Depends the sequel coming up.

Soon. I want to watch the Kevin Hart, um, heist movie. That looks fine. Very much the same vein. Man, I hate these hiccoughs, man. You need to suck, you need to suck upside down. No. No.

Upside down. Like the whale, you just got to learn to live. There is, there is a hack that we might be able to utilize. plug your nose with your little fingers not in like that and then plug your ear holes with your thumbs and then swallow and keep swallowing

I'm supposed to breathe keep swallowing you're not supposed to breathe idiot I think it's worked. I think it's done it. Hooray. See, I just taught everybody a little thing. No, it wasn't real. Wow, it's nice to be normal again.

Well, Jay Stereo says this. Do the... the jar boys have any immediate thoughts on suicide squad kill the justice league and what do they make of the discourse over how batman allegedly gets sent off on account of it supposedly being supposedly being conroy's final spin as the character um it's got nothing to do with the batman arkham games yeah i mean it's a pretty pathetic it looks awful yeah it's a pathetic why do they even delay it again you know that final delay it like what did they actually do in that time um yeah i mean like what did the game look like before that delay

that made them panic enough to be like oh we got to add time to this and then when they release it it still looks the way it does and then it came out for the people who paid extra for the early version of the game and then they had to take it offline twice yeah like for itself, you know. They weren't sending out review codes to anyone. Do you think it was like an ambition thing? It's almost like the opposite of ambition. What was that anti-ambition?

Ambition. Unbission. Yeah. Complacency. Anti-bition. Yeah, because it's like what the thing they were chasing is so old now that the original purveyors of that are now struggling themselves in keeping it going be that destiny be that apex be that yeah yeah but I'm thinking like they finish making Arkham night they probably

started relatively soon after development on suicide squad yeah it wouldn't have looked the same that whole time no you know this this destiny thing probably like after destiny started making mu mu money they were like okay let's copy this thing so were they really ambitious at first and they were like let's make this crazy ass game where you're like killing the justice league and it's gonna be this giant open world

it can be like co-op and stuff they have all these unique heroes and then the game just like it's going down one path and they're like shit this doesn't work then they're going down another part shit this doesn't work and then it's a case where like they've kind of built some mechanics and then they're like well we got to we got to turn it into something now yeah just i just look at him like who's this for yeah you know it's it's four people who like

the just the suicide squad movie that first suicide squad movie yeah that's what it does seem hey billy don't drink others do it billy do it billy do it billy do it billy billy do it hell What the hell? I can't believe she listened. Gosh, Billy drinking others has really thrown me off. Yeah, what are we talking about? How good Batman Arkham Knight is. That's a cool game.

No, I think it's cool. Sliding around the city as Joker. Yeah, with like an umbrella or something to fly around on. Hello, I'm the Joker and I'm on my umbrella. Let's take out some goons. I just think it's so stupid when like, I think the idea of the suicide squad is dumb. Yeah, it's like goofy as hell. Yeah, and I'm fine with goofy, but when it's like Harley Quinn, your team is Harley Quinn, a boomerang guy.

I thought the point was that it's supposed to be B-listers, but Harley Quinn is an A-lister. Yeah, but also, why do they always have to be, I think the suicide squad James, gun made more sense where it was like the the mission they're sent on isn't like an Avengers level threat yeah you know it's like go destroy this evidence because we're we're scummy shady as fuck yeah yeah government agency why like in the first suicide squad movie and in this game

it's like send the suicide squad to um beat Superman in a fight it's like you're canonically it doesn't make sense you know you've set up rules for this universe and you're having an insane person dressed as a clown fight an invincible guy

how's that going to go you know it's lazy what's the point of rules it's nearly a decade nearly a decade since I come night anyway

And that, this is what comes up as the follow-up. It's just so incredibly lame. Yeah, and it's like meant to be in the same universe. And like, Harley Quinn is always a joke in that universe. Yeah. She's like useless. The only thing that made her like bearable was like she's still quite annoying. But the joke is that she's out of the picture quite quickly, right?

Yeah, there's that bit in, in Arkham City where like he's tied her up because she's more of like a problem. for her to be around. She's going to interfere with the plan. She's going to make life harder. Yeah. You know? So it doesn't even seem to follow those laws that

they've set up, like, that character. And it's like, well, this seems so late. Did you see the insomniac leaks with basically the next 20 years of what they're making at that studio?

being confirmed. Yeah, it's mostly just like Marvel games. That makes sense. Forever. Yeah, so they've just become the Marvel studio. Yeah. Which, I mean, it's pretty wise. You know, they killed the hell out of Spider-Man 1.

I guess. Yeah. Right, let's do a couple more dingles here before we wrap this up. Sorry for my nerd rage, everyone. I'll go on number two says Need James to tell me what a good starter car is for a new driver Hmm

Toy Harris genuinely Tootoy Tiaris Anything small economical But I don't clear Yeah Sure

No I'd always say a tortoise Because while they're a bit wusty they are extremely cheap They You can abuse the house out of them and they work. They're just pinnacles of engineering. They're fun. They're silly and they're really reliable. Buy a toy of Yaris.

A really early toy Yaris. Buy Yaris. I agree. I sold ours. I sold, I sold Jamie's on behalf of him and we regret it. Genuinely. Yeah, like actually regret it.

Really solid as hell car. Great car. You know, you put the the pedal down. And it moves. It goes forward. Yeah. Sometimes it goes backwards if you want it to.

What more can you ask? Perfect car. Well, I have one more thing to ask you, boys. You have no jarvage? Bacon or dinosaurs? Bacon. In terms of... You're choosing what the last question is.

Bacon. Um... Bacon. I don't really mind. Like, I'm happy. No, you pick. No, but I'll decide and then pick the... The one he wants.

What if I say dinosaurs then? He's going to be dinosaurs, because he's picked dinosaurs. Then I probably will read the dinosaur one, yes. Okay. Whereas if you say bacon, then it will be the bacon one. Bacon. You know you want to. Don't you just do both?

Because I, like, I really don't want to regret my choice. I'm going to say bacon. Ha ha! Good. Yes, Phamphit. Fine. Bacon. Yep.

Gazabata. How do you like your bacon? I've always assumed everyone likes crispy bacon. And I was horrified when I found out that the rest of my family members like soft floppy bacon. Bacon isn't bacon.

If it doesn't have some crisp to it, I'm not saying it has to be Viagra hard. But it should be illegal to eat bacon that you can't, that you can roll up. I haven't talked to my family since I found out. Should I cut ties with them for good? Um, watch the, previous episode. Yeah, we've talked about

them. We had a long debate over bacon, so watch that. Thank you for watching this episode, John Witton. But we'll catch you next time. How do you like your bacon? I don't think you ever said in the big conversation. It was mostly me and James arguing.

I hate it sort of. Contrary and Alex can't have an opinion. We are going to be saying some controversial things. Yep. This is the Coochie Sting episode. Coochie Sting. Yeah.

Are we saying a Coochie that stings or a coochie that has been stung? It's like dogs when they get, you know, dogs bite a bee and they just like inflate. Kind of like that. I was thinking. you know when dogs do that thing where they like pull themselves across the floor because they got a little stink onto that asshole the booty sting yeah that's what pays do that for the first time really yeah yeah that's one of the best things about having a dog

I wish cats would do that because I think it would look cool I've never I none of my dogs have ever done the pop a booty sting flossie used to do the booty sting flossie was a booty sting huh what are you calling it the booty sting yeah that's pretty cool You established this Right at the beginning That's what you said even

No I think it was This is episode 363 A paradox No This is the patron segment How is it? Wait what?

Yeah Because it's the first of February Yeah No come on we don't do it on the first Fuck you leave it next week We've got it ready We've got to do it man Okay

I'll do all of it I'll quick fight all of these names No No No Okay, go on then. Three, two, one, go. Hey, don't probably.

Someone do it. I'm not doing it. Good afternoon morning. This is the patron segment of the show where we head over to our lovely patrons who helped support the show and make the audio version possible, which you can find on all of your audio streaming sites. You know, Spotify, Podbean, iTunes. That's all you need. music, yeah, YouTube MPV, MP3 convert our cast to listen to the audio version. Well, I guess, yeah, this is the JAR patron names for February 2024.

Big thanks to autumn, fleeting hope, spoon man, Daniel Weeks, Moam from Home, Globanaut, Intercontinental Ballistic Pufar Explosion, Fallout 4 is a better game, than New Vegas. Ha ha ha no, no, James. Hard borrow the human cigarette. Rets of. Kid cannabis. Thea Thorogood.

Poop Nugget 4,000. Benson Burner. Pits View. Dom. Frisco. Fuck it. I... I ate the op.

Fowl Git. Gung-Gun pussy making Misago Bombbag crazy. Sombalo. Barlow, Thai boy goon, I'm fresh as fuck, bands by the box, yeah, I love them Pezos, Jeff Bezos. Joe Vidal is the biggest gooner. erecting a rea spencer here. Murdo Wallace. Alexa, play JAR Media Fart compilation 4K HTR Dolby Digital.

Oh my God. Peb on Baby, Yoda, Baby Group, Baby James' dad. Uh Ignus Garumis Freddy Gibbs and Mad Libs Bar Donner 2019 Quetzocletus Northropi

Thank the lizard lords James's Dada The Hobbit and Unexpected Journey That's what it says Nicholas Lafitti's estranged son Bogley Best

Obama hamburger Sussie Bulls Lil Mosey His white Sussy balls Fucking Christ The Camino Gimp My name Jeff How to Change Patreon

Usename Big Wombo Newly Trans Jarring Barnaby's Panopticon Somewhere there is a parallel universe where all the jar members Are Worms and Worm Alex Has a tiny man living in his arm

Jesus Christ Lildred Incorporated Syshin Finn Arthur's and Vivian Reed Woohoo Yeah Big thank you too

This Patreon list is actually The Epstein Island list I forgot to mention that Anyway continuing with Utec Epstein Island Chocolate Fart Scribble W.A

Bonkey Splink Schek Magma slug Levy Pearl Slug Dr. Deluxe Deluxe Olo

Shibangu Oliver Holmjohn by Dexter McCool Goon Chee Guna I love Barbourbell She is my queen Lebon James Excited for White Boy Wednesday

Hello friends Suggie Suckie Dum Dum Mio Dobby the House Milf Zell, Simon Steele, piss a dick versus comma cockedorn of Bustis, Bailpreet core, yoku, nudie arm, aka James's passionate bread vacation destinations, shake it off James' version is the greatest song known to mankind, venomized Ricko Dave Bryan, Creel Muncher, Unwashed Reptile Reptile, Mani Sanchez, Lagoon.22, Simsy, Z. 0.6% Japanese darling

The worm in Alex's skin I will never leave I will never leave I will never Lawmaster of fanboy and chum chum fapping and clapping it's happening

lapping up sap that I've splat on the mat and the masculine Captain Conchol Stormy supports Nagoya Grampus

The Trail Wee Banana Grant Connor Jack Price Slimy Bill Goon headshot Goon headshot when the jar-ass drops real like goon headshot Are they cunt state of Alaska Venomized Kino Loy

Callum J. Crick True mighty Gjarling he's going beast mode Gengja Satellite She chiefed in on my wigum till I waltz all my homies think I'm a simpson Tonya Tonya Venomized Kino Lois. What the fuck's a Kino Loire?

Yeah. Fuck. Uh, thank you, thank you, thank you. To Nietzsche. Testing, testing, Wan, Bam, Pao. Guby love. Can you hear me now?

Slems McKenzie, the original party worm, Whimmy, Wham, Wham, Whosel. Salad 515. Oh, I'm a gooning bear, yeah, I'm a gooning bear. I'm a yummy, tummy, cummy, stinking, gooning bear. Slam dunk Cosmos, Harriet Broadly.

Miniature Ranny. Tom Bereneck. Gilbert the awesome one. This is a public service announcement. I have rebranded from Nate's mini-figs and now I'm called input brick. Please edit the puck. The Swindish embassy called, they're looking for the throat goat, so I sent them after James's dad

Zim-Zam Zobble, my Ziblies Cobalt Rad Shower with your dad simulator in 2015 Do you still shower with your dad Question mark Do you see delicious Piss drinkers Unleashed

Before I hand this iPad off to you You should know that I let Piss a dick Use it now it's full of piss-wish Robert Keck Flexington Fart Bag Biscuit Dream Awful 2142 I saw James

at a urinal and he pulled his pants down to his ankle just married Jarling let's go Penn Island Danny G James is lord woodpecker from Mars edgy air wrecker milky piggy silky creamy

donkey steam seize property shopper sprees chop the cheese drop degrees to stop disease gee whiz pad doom rock grandma like the kumbaya E-girl in a bebo shirt is entering her goth girl

Ark Bear Bear Bear Creamer Adam Johnston Tom Buoys Bring back Randy to the cast Crying emoji We miss him Josh Ugbug Pugbug

Walker Super Crunchers Joel Stewart When Blackbirds Fly 2016 Big Whoops Gremblow J.B.G. Couta Panda. Lucy Tye is an Asian anal queen.

Randy Ruins Patreon. The Poo Man. James, I'm going to find you. Then I'm going to fuck you. Katia fucking Managan. And last but certainly least, David Wallace. Thank you all. Big thank you too. I'll back to your shit. Yeah.