JAR Media Posdact - The Equalibriums - JARCAST Episode 198

Episode Date: December 23, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening on night. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Alex, and I'm here to bring you episode 198 of the JARCast. I'm joined by James and Jamie over there. Jamie or Jim, which do you prefer? Um, when I come out... Jesus Christ, we're not doing this again. We're not doing this again. I swear to...

I swear to God. We're not having another normal episode. I swear to Christ. You know, a few weeks ago, we had the... Before we start, can I just say, I want us to try making this a normal episode. Oh, shut up. Shut your face.

Before we move on any further, before you've... Shut up. The pair of you... Shut up. Just let me do this. Shut up and let me do this. This is important, all right?

We've got to thank the patrons for everything they provide for us. There are big things on the horizon. I swear to Christ, there are big things on the horizon. Thanks to the patrons. Thanks to everyone who gives us ratings on iTunes and all that stuff. Thank you. Okay, we've got to get that out of the way. It's important.

It's not about getting it out of the way. It's about it existing. its own right yeah yeah so a lot has happened in the last week or so since we last recorded yeah donald trump has been elected president who would have fucking it's a crazy it's a crazy world we live in crazy man the apprentice yeah the the apprentice himself you're fired and all that sort of stuff you're fired get out of get out of here there's something i want to talk about first right Okay. I want to talk about a little small indie company unveiled a piece of technology, which you might have heard of.

Xbox Project Sex. Is that what it's called? Project Sex. Edge Box. Ex-sexbox Project Sex. What is it called again? Sexbox Project Edge. Oh, no, no.

No, it's called the Xbox series sex. X, no, the Sexbox series X. Right. So, Microsoft revealed the new PlayStation 5, Xbox 1080. They revealed the new Xbox. It's called Xbox Series X. It's literally called the Sexbox, the X, sex box. The X-sex box.

The Xbox. I will say it's going to be a massive disappointment if I cannot play VR hentai games on it. It would be a wasted opportunity. Demonitized? Oh, it's already been demonetized, don't worry. You reckon? Yeah, I said...

No, I think just saying sex box over and over again might have done it. My finger hurt. What do you think of the new series Xbox? I'm... The new box that you can buy. I'm not, I'm not going to buy it. It must have given. Because, given...

What do you buy apart from car parts anyway? You say... And sex bots. If you could have literal intercourse with the series sex, would you do it? Would you buy it? Yeah, would you buy it and do it? No. I would not.

Why? Do you know what? Do you know what? Because I just buy a PC instead. Can you have sex with a PC? No, but isn't that the appeal of it right, though? It's like an entry-level PC in a way. It's like a PC tower.

That's what it looks like. I don't mind the design of it. People will be jumping on it. Yeah, but you said that about the Xbox One, to be fair. No, but the Xbox one, the original one. For shit. It's bad. No, from...

If the proportions are true, because there's like a controller next to the Xbox series... Yeah, it's like three controllers on top of. each other roughly. Yeah, and that's pretty small. And you can have it vertical, you can have it on its side, you can choose what you want.

Like every console since the PlayStation 2. Ooh. Okay. So that doesn't mean. I'm not like, I don't have stock in Microsoft. I don't care. I do.

I don't. I mean, talking genuinely about this, it's got back pat. Like from day one. And GamePass. Yeah, but every

A console should have backpap You shouldn't have to say it's got backpat It should have backpack No, but it doesn't just have backpat But it's going to have backpack all the way back to the original Xbox Like the current one is Yeah No, no, when the 360 came out

It wasn't like every Every original one Every original game just worked Mm-hmm It didn't No, but that should be the case Because it was the case With the PlayStation 3

No, no, no, no. Was it the case with the PlayStation 4? No. No, because the corporate world has changed since then. Yeah, and this is a good sign that it's going back to how things should be. Like, that's a big, big, big aspect in whether I will buy a console or not. No, but I will ask, why would you want to play games that are old? Because, like, say, I've been playing Sekiro recently, and if I can get a new console and it's just going to play.

the game I already own but run better and on my nice TV what's not appealing about it my whole library's on there that's the thing just because a new generation has come out doesn't mean that like a game for example if if if the Xbox comes out in November and a game comes out in September why should why would you not want to play the game that came out in September no I don't mean that I mean like why do you want to play an Xbox 360 game when you just don't need to you might want to it's just a value proposition

that's all but my question more so is has has sort of like PC kind of taken some of umph away from consoles now yeah

well because there is a there's like a parody going on where where they are just basically becoming PCs now because you can't beat you can't beat it

like there's no there's no argument really against PC being the best way to play video games there's no argument runs them the best very cheaper well as long as you've already got a PC that can run it of course that is the optimal way

that's not difficult nowadays you can play modern FPS is like card on a really base level PC because I do and it's not bad it runs smoothly the place I think consoles do have is in like a living room

yeah families you know houses like i don't want to put my like my my pc is comically large it is comically large like putting that in my living room would look ridiculous it would look absurd no that that can work that can no no it can you ain't got no skills in interior design oh shut to your face that can work shut to your face will you no we have anyway we have more important matters than just a silly little sex box being released. Something big has happened. Something huge has happened.

If this is what I'm thinking it is, this is bigger than than... Genuinely, I've not been more stunned by any piece of news or information possibly in my life.

This is of course referring to the famous comedian slash actor slash personality what are you saying, Jim, sorry? Funny. Funny. Yeah, the funny.

The funny guy known as Kamail Nanjiani. Kamail Nanjiani, as most will know, is porny from Men in Black International. That film everyone remembers. Everyone remembers that one.

Everyone remembers porny. Right? Mm-hmm. I do. Perfectly done. Perfectly done. James, perfectly done. Perfectly done

Pony Turns out Is hung as fuck Yeah so Let me reel this back If you don't know who this is Just Google him Google Kamail

Nangiani You know him You've heard him He's in like some sitcom or something about He's in Mass Effect Andromeda There you go He is in Mass Effect Andromeda He's one of the salami

But he's probably more well known For being the main character In the Big Sick I'd say That's probably, that's what's got, he's got his, like, cred. For being the main character in Stubat. And Stoerba, yeah. And, where else was he in?

Central Intelligence he was in, apparently. He was in Central Intelligence. That incredible piece of cinema. But what we're talking about, of course, is this actor, we've been long-time fans of, especially since he was announced as being Porn E, in Man in Black. There's a Marvel movie coming out called, the Eternals, right? We're all incredibly familiar with

the Eternals. Everyone knows the Eternals. Everyone knows the Eterns. You want to say I'm an eternal fan. Ooh. No, because listen, the saga of the Eternals, a race of immortal beings who lived on Earth and shaped its history and civilizations. Everyone knows that.

Everyone knows it. It's the oldest. It's the oldest. Everyone knows the saga of the Eternals. The Eternals. The Eternals. There isn't anyone who doesn't know about the saga of Eternals of the race of immortal beings who lived on Earth

and shaped its history and civilizations. Like, that's just common knowledge. When Marvel was first starting this cinematic universe, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is fine. Yeah, Avengers, Iron Man, the Hulk, who gives, like, who honestly cares. We need the guys that have existed on Earth. Where's the saga of the Eternals, a race of immortal beings who lived on Earth and shaped its history and

civilizations? That's the fucking, that is the bread and butter of just... Honestly, it's the long term... It's the long term, it's the end game of Marvel. This is what Marvel's been leading up to. So, this is the cast of the Eternals, right?

Angelina Jolie is sort of the lead. She's the lead. She's playing a Thena. Right, that's fine. She ain't no... She's Thena. She's one of the saga of the Eternals, a race of immortal beings who lived on Earth and shaped its history and civilizations. And then, of course, she's back. backed up by Selma Hayak, who plays Ajax, of course.

Everyone knows Ajax. She's one of the saga of the Eternals. That's the race of immortal beings who lives on earth and shaped its history and civilization. And they're backed up, of course, by Richard Madden, who's playing Icarus. You might know from Game of Thrones, he was one of the older Stark brothers. he of course is playing Let me see who this is You know

Him Oh I can't see Richard Madden You know He was in Game of Thrones And all that You know He's the one

He's the older brother Oh he plays Beanie Stark He played Rob Stark He played Rob Stark He played Rob Stark He played Rob Stark in the Eternal's The Race of Immortal Beings

And then Kit Harrington is in the movie as well He's playing Dane Whitman Who's probably one of the saga of the Eternals and most importantly bringing it back round Kamail Nanjiani is playing

Kingo he's playing Kingo who is part of the saga of the Eternal's a race of immortal beings who lived on earth and shaped his history and civilizations but the ultimate point of this story being brought up is the fact that this random fucking guy

Like, he is so, he got so ripped for this. This random goddamn guy, it's random comedian. He's like, shredded. Oh my, zero percent body fat. Like, have you seen this, have you seen this? No, I've never seen this person. Let me show you a picture. If you're, if you're wondering right now, you really need to see this, just go on Google, just search, you know, his name.

You know, everyone, everyone remembers it, you know, the saga of the Eternals, whatever. He is shredded. He at zero percent body fat, he's gone in. That is shredded. This is like Chris Pratt, pre-Garidings of the Galaxy. One condition of him being the lead character in the movie, get shredded. That's a good shredded. That looks like it's an actual muscle to be used, shredded.

But it got me thinking. It's like everyone who gets cast in one of these Marvel movies, they just become like these, like, these like just. computer-generated monsters these like just perfect humans what happens like when you're cast a Disney light look

you are hours now you're our little porn you're a little pornie you're a little porny in a way this is what you eat now this is your day now this is what you do you are hours now

you wake up you eat some kale you work out for a few hours do a few press tours and, you know, some, you know, jerking off on Twitter and all that shit. And then you just eat kale and you, you know, you're very, like, strong and all that. And you just keep doing that until you, like, go on set and you make your, like, mediocre movie. And they pay just millions upon millions of dollars.

Then you can go back to being normal. Yeah. And it's like you're living hell in a way. Like, it's horrible. Like, it probably is, like, horrible. Yeah, I think it is horrible Like having to Like look at his body, just look at it

Yeah, there's that certain type of like fit person Where it looks like... Like that's your life. That is your life. You can't look like that. So there's like people that are like hench and it's like They go to the gym But they also have a life Then there's the

This kind of ripped Where it's All you do is that and it's clear that it hurts. It hurts to have a body like that. Yeah, because I don't know how old he is either. He's not an old guy. You know, he's not getting up there or anything.

No, not at all. He was born in 78, actually. 78? So, James, use your accounting knowledge to figure out how old he is because I can't be doing that. It's too late for me to do any inform. 78? That's... It's like 40.

He's 78 years old. 50 he's 50 41 41 this year so he's 4 that makes it even crazier he's 41 years old and he's more shredded than I will ever be in my life unless

times 10 unless you get cast in a marble movie no I'll be cast in a DC movie let's be real I'll be what's like the you know a bit about DC what's the equivalent of the Eternals but DC Fantastic Four Fantastic Four

Martian Man Hunter What the fuck I can't do Do you think he's literally going to be in the movie For like three minutes That would make it so fucking worth it Is he going to be in the movie for like a couple minutes Yeah

I reckon he'll be in the movie for half an hour He's gonna be topless He's gonna be topless at some point To get fucking Yeah, he's definitely gonna be topless But why? Surely the sex appeal of the movie

Is Angelina Jolie And the guys from Game of Thrones She's not sex appeal There are two guys from Game of Thrones Two of the hottest Stark brothers Are in there The two, not two of the The hottest Stark brothers

Yeah Exactly, that's what I'm saying So why is he getting so shredded for this role? Because he's been told to. He doesn't have a choice. He's been told that he has to be shredded. You really think that? Yes.

But don't you think that shredded people are inherently less funny? Yes. We've said this before on the JLcast about Chris Pratt getting completely shredded for the Guidance of the Galaxy. And it makes him less funny. He's much funnier when he's more relatable and pudgy, like, you know, everyone in the world is aside from Chris Pratt. Why does every single character from these movies, though, have to be the same, like, body type? It gets tiring.

It does. Well, Thor wasn't. Four? Thor is, like, the most ripped of the mall. Yeah, he's... Not in end game. He was fucking pudgy as fuck. That was the joke.

Yeah, he's still pudgy. He was a laughing stock. And then by the end, he was, like, ripped anyway, so whatever. No, he was ripped and fat. He's pudgy, it doesn't matter. But even Chris Hemsworth, there's like, you know, there's probably, you know, there's articles or whatever, where he's come out and he's like, yeah, life is just misery when I have to look this way. That wasn't Chris Hemsworth, that was Chris. Oh, there's so many Chris's.

Yeah, there's Chris Pratt, Chris Hemsworth, Chris. How many Chris is? What's the third Chris, Captain America, Chris? Chris Evans. Chris Evans, yeah. He's the one that really was hating it. He was like, I'm really. He's had enough.

I don't enjoy this. I just want to be fat and happy. I just want to eat a burger or something. I just want to eat like a packet of crisps. Yeah. I just want to drink. Some fucking salt and vinegar. Yeah, I just want to drink like one glass of Coke.

Good thing is he doesn't have to do it anymore. He's gone. He's free. Yeah, because now it's moved on to the likes of a pornie to, you know, take that sort of mantle of strength and take it over. Yeah. For his five years of rippedness, until he's chewed up and spat out by the Disney machine.

Corporate machine. Yeah, man. They all want that list. You know, Jarre's going to have to do it one day, and you know it, you know. Disney's going to run out of actors to the point where they're going to be making the equilibrium or whatever fucking it's called. There's probably a Marvel comic called the Equilibrium's or some shit. And they'll cast Jarre. And they'll just be like

Alright, get ripped, then you're in. Yeah Look, here's a million bucks each Just get ripped Just eat kale or whatever And you'll be in a movie Fuck it Yeah, but it would work

Imagine us whipped The beard, like even better Wipped The balls The butts What's, what Let's come up with the story Of the equilibrium

No, the equilibriums The Equilibriums we are each an equilibrium so who's the main character because you need a main character you need a James James is the main character and he's a and he used to be a tank driver used to be a tank like what in like one of the world wars in World War one he was a World War one tank driver just the miserable just a fucking whole yeah what's the superhero aspect then the equilibriums he gets blown up like absolutely just obliterated.

Right. And is he like shattered into another dimension or something? It just so happens that he was meant for greater things than just being obliterated in this thing. No, no. Let's reel it back a second. What is his character arc for the movie? He discovers that human value is more than...

So he's an alien? No. No. no he discovers that people deserve goodness where does the the title of the equilibrium's come into the because i'm in equilibrium they could be like that is the equilibrium no it could be like marvel's version of green lantern fuck it like the equilibriums like the the lantern core but you know they're the equilibriums it's like a it's like a no no how about this like there's there's some sort of force

like a this can be Ruben's character he's like a kind of like the Gandalf the Dumbledore sort of like

the all-knowing character who you know he's super because it's Marvel he's a bit quippy he's a bit dry he's Iron Man and he's like

his job is to target people who are killed at a certain point when they didn't deserve to be killed and that they were

destined for greater things so he dies in World War I and he's plucked from reality from like a different dimension yeah and this is perfect because everyone loves a fish out of water story yeah so then he got James he's like this is correct he's ripped he's walking around like this is just

out of out of his iPhone and he's like what the and that's when that's when me and you come in Jim we're the brothers yeah we're the equilibrium brothers we know what's up in the in the like zone we've already been dead yeah yeah but and we're back and this is we were samurai yeah

he's got no clue what's going on James he's out of his mind he's he's he's in a new realm Ruben's there just like trying to explain it and he's like I can't take it soon we runs away and that's when he meets the brothers he meets the equilibrium brothers but we're sure we're sure no but here's the thing we were samurai either one of us then was the fucking leaders of the five families as well just to yeah

either one of us has to be a villain or both of us are villains because I feel like that's something that hasn't been done in the Marvel University are like brother villains am I wrong

there's like a gap in the Marvel villain market so for us being equilibiums are you trying to make my equilibrium yeah what's the motivation of the villains are we both villains

that's what I'm like really torn on because it might be more interesting for just one of us to be a villain. A good and a bad? Like a yang and yang type of thing. One bad and the others stuck between

both. An equilibrium? Yeah. No, James is the ultimate equilibrium. You're too good and naive. I'm too bad and evil. And he James's arc is to teach us that we need to come together in the middle

somewhere. Yeah. And vote for Lib Dems I'm a liberal and you're a Democrat and we come together and we become a liberal Democrat No but what's the evil we've got to fight? Because it just seems like a rom-com fucking thing

The evil is Alex No but I can't But then yeah you Instead of just doing the typical thing where it's like One Iron Man fighting another Iron Man There's still an epic fight scene Like of epic scale maybe Kumal comes in or whatever

pornie or whatever the fuck comes in and he has a cameo and sort of helps out or whatever because you know it's a whole universe we got to keep some cohesion going on maybe get Spider-Man in there I don't go but the ultimate point is James settles the

score and brings the characters together and Ruben comes in there and he starts crying and he's like he's into the whole thing doesn't sound like a supero movie it just sounds just put baby odour in there he's in Disney now this just sounds like a weird

rom-com this premise is better than Captain Marvel at least yeah no I'm liking this premise the only trouble is there is a movie already called Equilibrium No but we're the Equilibrium You see that's why I was specifying the plural Yeah because and it's Marvel too

They can probably buy the IP and delete it from existence if they wanted Like we've got the Equilibrium's comic say goodbye to that stupid film with fucking Batman in it or whatever Yeah, Crystal Fwaltz Yeah, that's like ripping off the Matrix Is that the movie?

Yeah, yeah, it's totally ripping off the Matrix. It's kind of sick, though. Do you remember the part where he opens the boot And there's a puppy? And he's like, What's this equilibrium? Yeah, and he's like, nah, this thing looks like baby Yoda's.

This one of his movies I've seen like too many times. Really? Yeah, I must have seen about three times. He's got the guy from prison break in it. Do you remember the really dumbass brother? Oh, the guy he's in, uh, my, my, my, man, he's got like the squarest head. He's in Blade 3.

Is he? Yeah, so he's in. He's in the beginning of equilibrium and he's killed immediately. Spoilers, dude. Come on. People care about Marvel. You can't just go throwing out, throw spoilers. I don't.

So, so at the end of equilibrium, do you die? Equilibriums. Equilibriums. I'm sorry. No, because that's the point is that the message is, it's like a centrist, like, propaganda, like message. Right. But how do we have epic fight scenes? Where's the person in fighting? Because everyone's invincible, so you can just have, like, a man of steel, like, just

for, like, 30 minutes. No, I don't think everyone should be invincible. I think we should be even more vulnerable than normal people. Because we're, like, we're, yeah, we're all glass cannons, you know? like if we got into a fight with just a dude and he like sucker punched one of us but that would make it interesting because the jar dynamic is quite literally just smacking each other constantly and that would kill us so it's just like yeah that would be death so it's kind of like more of a bob and weave sort of what's james is like like what's his power

yeah um because he has to have like the the special thing that makes him like whoa like we've been equilibrium for a long time but you are like the equilibrium you're neo you're like you're the main one James gets punched in the stomach and he doesn't die well maybe he's got the super slap he slaps you like into another dimension

you're gone yeah he's able to slap another human out of existence I create equilibrium that's that's that whole thing okay yeah whatever that ever all of that was is certainly

going to be better than the Eternals So Without a doubt Without a doubt Without a doubt Without a doubt But what are your powers No I'm

We're just normal equilibrium Yeah we're just normal equilibrium Like I'm I'm happy I'm happy with that story Like I'm done I'm finished I've had enough of that When should we start writing

That was it Like Disney's gonna take it now They're gonna just make it into a movie And Our bank accounts $40 for your IP, time for us to make $2 billion. Because it was on a podcast thing and just be like, oh yes, that's a good idea. We're going to watch the Eternals and it's going to be like word for word what we've described.

No, yeah, because it says in the saga of the Eternals, a race of immortal beings who lived on Earth and shaped its history and civilizations, they're immortal beings. That's big difference. That's fucking boring, though. How can you make a movie You tell me, man They can't die Yeah, but then like There'll be a character

No, they'll be in fighting That's what will happen Duh, they can die only to each other Boom Be like Highlander, yeah Yeah, that's what's gonna happen Mark my words I can literally see into the future

And you know that So who's gonna watch Star Wars Nah Maybe When's it out? tomorrow it will be out by the time people hear this

so people will know the other the day after this comes out well with that said we'll be back after these messages hello wanna dick on a shirt check the description below

welcome to the second part of the jarca so we head over to the jar reddit where there is a thread you can ask any question you like and we can just talk about whatever you want ask us any question you really feel like okay just ask us whatever you want and i might choose it if it's not too cringy owsy let's do this one from donnie all the way any jar memes you look back in in disgust jar memes you look back in in an to disgust. I feel like James's answer is the only real answer, because I love them all

equally. Pussy. Diary. They're the two worst ones. You cannot... Explain. What's wrong with pussy and diarrhea? The moment I left the jar cast on a hiatus, the cast went to shit. That's not egotistical at all. Saying pussy is not

funny. It was. Well, that's because you were literal children. Then you're telling me Rubin screaming pussy in front of funny shit you've ever heard scream pussy no I can't do it because it was Rubin's thing and you only Rubin can do it and that's not funny it was funny it was come on it was not funny no no no it was not funny about you Jim what do you think no none of it was cringy none of it was not not funny none of it was not funny all of it was funny

What do you think is the worst The worst jar mean What is it? Pussy Like without a doubt Don't even fight No No pussy was necessary Pussy

Pussy Diario Wow cringe Yeah that You see that beautiful Melody wouldn't exist without Pussy Yeah It's quite essential actually

To that melody But also Pussy just vagina in general Is too taboo Yeah We throw out dick cock exactly

winky all the time we're trying to just normalize it we're normalizing pussy nothing wrong with the we normalize pussy we've normalized pussy and now yeah let's just move on to something

even more explicit let's call them like no just shut up meaty lip flaps fucking let's just go into the next the next realm we have ascended

that's the thing though it's like that there's a half-life to these memes. Oh, yeah. There's just a moment where it's like, okay, we're done on it. It's done. Yeah.

It's done. We're not going to do it anymore. It's finished. Agreed. Finished. Like, there's no, there's no part of me that even feels like it's necessary to filter. It's not like pussy and diarrhea are like on the, on the end of my tongue, like just desperate to come out at any point. Well, pussy might be.

Hey, we. Zing. Badoinga. I don't get that one. As far as disgust. Pussy's pretty disgusting. I don't know how we can't say in that. Yeah.

We should never have been talking about that. Yeah, the mere thought makes me want to vomit, but aside from that, like, it's fine. Wow, really? Oh, sh. Oh, quit it. You know what they say? Gray Tickles has this to say.

Question for Alex. will the up-down album be put on Spotify once it is completed? I genuinely enjoy the music and it would be nice to have it on playlists, etc. I can't because most of it is just like music I didn't fucking make. Like I didn't make the toy story theme, you kidding me? You made the lyrics then, that's what matters.

Yeah, it's obviously transformative work. You know, like I'm really proud of like what I've done with it and everything. Like I'm really, I'm really proud. of, like, the, like, progress I've made. You haven't made any progress? Oh, have you seen the latest one? There's been the latest one. Exactly.

You don't even know. You're not even keeping up to date. You barely even care. That's got to hurt, man. That stings. You're like, you know, you know, Marri Galaxy? There's that, like, B queen. James is the B queen.

Hey, I'm the oldest subscriber to Man Man. I would know if fun's been uploaded. You're not subscribed to Man Man, man. Yes, I am. Are you really? if you were you would have known about this about my latest work but i can't even remember what it's called is this latest work last year because that's the last time no it was like it was like it was like it's like a month again i can't remember what it was called can i quickly shout out a

youtube no you mentioning mary galaxy has if if it's that like if it's really like i actually watched this video and was like this guy's my favorite explain so his name is a jacob geller jacob geller how you spell the last name g-e-e-l-l-e-r maybe it's jell yeah that sounds like gala to me and he just made this video called the the quiet sadness of uh mary galaxy a quiet sadness yeah really and honestly watch it and it will change your life does it make merry galaxy better yes i always felt like quite to be quite sad so once again I always thought there's something quite as cheerful

and happy about it. Yeah but it's got this melancholy undertone. I'm sorry to interrupt the question segment I just want to No I'm genuinely interested in this because Mary Galaxy's on my face especially because that music. We'll have to watch it after this episode because it like that video actually blew my mind yeah I was thinking about the there's that certain piece of music from that game so called the something out

the sad one yes No, not the sad one, the one that plays on the level where you're, like, jumping on flowers and, like, flying around. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, the gusty garden song. It's like, it's like, I was thinking about, like, it's one of the most incredible pieces of music I've ever fucking heard, and it's in a Mario game. Yeah. Koji Kondo, whatever. Yeah, what a legend.

And he's been there since the start. He did the first Mario, and he's been there since the start. It's so crazy, like, what that person is capable of. capable of like he was he had to make music with all that restrictive really old and yeah and now he's given an orchestra

and it's just like the most beautiful thing yeah I can't believe how well that works like assigning an orchestra to Mario yeah like it with the like galaxy like theme it makes it feel so grand and fucking it's more it's like more

like Mario Galaxy is more epic than like fucking like anything that's trying to be epic you know what I mean yeah okay it's incredible sometimes I do just like I just listen to that

that song in particular I'm just like this is that harp it's like incredible I can't fucking believe it oh dearly dearly me Red Pringle 22 has one for us I don't even think

did we answer that last question yeah man yeah we did whatever Red Pringle 22 has this to say, role play idea. Everyone is Alex, but different versions of Alex.

James is current Jarl Alex. Jim is I-H-E Alex, and Alex is random X-D pussy Alex. Speaking of pussy. Yum, yum, I love that. What the fuck? That's what you're thinking of me?

Yum, yum, I love that. So I'm random Pussy Diarrhea Pussy Do not divulge into such nonsense

please This movie's really bad Alex Alex is just doing Jarlix now I can't fucking Wogh

Play that It's just being that Zing I just want to tell you about how bad this movie is You do a really good impression

of yourself I found this really bad channel I love Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars I last Jedi was a good movie, okay?

I love Star Wars It made me cry Are you fucking doing a Sylvester Stallone? No I just got a cold So my voice just sounds Yeah

I love Sylvester Stallone It's kind of Oh no D-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- We actually have an interesting question from Cat Spider-2 Who asked, what's the longest song you've each ever listened to? What, in your opinion, is the length of song would need to fully explore its potential? Is there a place for 30-minute songs?

I obviously instantly jumped to Pink Floyd. Medal has really long songs on it? What's that one that's like 20 minutes on? The song medal. Yeah, which is awesome. It's a really good song. It's a great song. Dogs from animals is a very long song.

But it's actually the worst one or worst long song from that album. Yeah, I think I'd agree. So, five minutes. Yeah, is that about your peak? About five minutes. If it goes on in longer, it's just like, no, this is too much. You cannot. make music interesting past five minutes genuinely you can't

because it becomes so repetitive when you go I'd say 20 minutes is the maximum because and it is rare once it gets to a certain point though when a song has like reached this point

it might as well be a different song like to keep the song interesting they're having to change the music gradually so you might as well make two different songs and sort of make them play into each other just as convenience to the listener so if they like the sound of this one bit yeah like it can still tell the same story as as two songs separately but next to each other yeah um tame impala has a lot of really good long songs um i reckon

how long is a long tame impala song around about eight minutes right um there's a there's a one of the newer songs that he released recently actually has a bit of that issue I reckon that you were just saying where it has like an incredible last like two and a half minutes so that's the part I keep wanting to hear yeah it's not like I dislike the first bit but it's nowhere near as good as the end bit because it completely changes like with the with the song um from plastic beach fuck uh what's it called grillers yeah

it's not a long song or anything but it's got my point in it um is it the one with empire ants yeah yeah that that one does it quite well actually it's a short song it's not a long song but like you can make a good part of a song better by having a more subdued part at the beginning yeah and that pink Floyd song does that really

well. Yeah. But you don't want to be sat around for too long waiting for that bit. Five minutes. It's a perfect time. There are some fairly long, um, Kanye songs too.

No, there's, there's some long ones on, um... And some of them overstay they're welcome. Yeah. Um, Twisted Fantasy has, um... There's one in particular. Um, the blame game. Is that the long one?

That might be the one with Chris Rock at the end. No, but there's actually a song I absolutely adore on Kanye's first album that's very long. Last Call, it's the last song on the album. It is, let me tell you how long it is. It's 12 minutes long.

And when I discovered the song, I like obsessively listened to it. Like on repeat, even though it is 12 minutes long. so I don't know man I don't think the time matters I think it just completely depends on what they do with it I think completely depends on if they earn it or not

it's just like movies like the Irishman just came out it's three and a half hours long which is way too long for most people but I think it's an example of a movie that justifies its running time just like that song last call I think that justifies its running time like there's so much interesting stuff going on

you learn so much about him in that song you really delves into like everything that is like a whole backstory you learn so much about him and it's really interesting and the song is awesome it has so many different elements to it that come in and out and it's just a great listen yeah I haven't really thought about that before to be honest I haven't either like the length of a song because there's what what's that Kanye song where he says about there's like a sample of someone saying that about three minutes is the ideal three minutes max three minutes max what album is that was that from kids see ghosts

kids see ghosts but there's there's something to that as well though that like brevity of like short little song that's like leaving you wanting more too yeah because you can always go back and listen to more you don't really want people skipping your yeah agreed yeah because one of the the newer guerrillas albums had that problem where they were there were like onto something but the song ended right and um jesus as king had the same issue where there's like ideas concepts that were kind of cool

yeah but the song ends it doesn't quite go far enough yeah it's not that it ends it's just that it just needed to add one more little nugget one one little nugget to satiate your hunger yeah but to directly answer the question

the longest song you've each ever listened to it probably is metal I can't think of anything longer than that yeah same I've listened to the song... Too long is, yeah. It's horribly long, and that's a point of it. I'm not mad about that song, to be honest. I've listened to a song called God Bless Ohio by Sun Killed Moon.

How long was that one? I can't remember, I'd have to look it up. Roughly, how long was it? I want to say about 20 minutes. Okay. Did you not like it? No. Is that the one Ruben loves?

He loves that album. Right. But to me, it's just like it's only 10 minutes really yeah 10 minutes is a long time though for a song it's a long time

but this song feels like 20 minutes right so it didn't really work for you I do I yeah it's just not for me you know I just found it really

just droned and it never builds or anything so that's what I don't like about that Darth punk song too long. You see, I respect that purely because of the name of the song. Yeah, there's something funny about it, but I find myself never, ever listening to that song.

Like, I listen to it for a few minutes, I'm like, okay, I've had enough. Yeah, okay. Next. But whereas with that Kanye's song, I said, Last Call or Medal, like, I'm willing to sit through the whole thing. Yeah. For something like that. Yeah. Good question.

What should we do? Mated 32 has this. Maiter. Mated. Any thoughts on Halo Reach on PC? Surprised you boys. I haven't mentioned this yet. No. I think I'm the only one who's played it. Out of here, Ruben's played it. And you don't even use mouse and keyboard, so...

I'm not going to play a game that I've already spent a lot of time in. I have no interest in going back and rekindling nostalgic. Are you playing Cod Modern Warfare? It's a complete It's a new game It's a completely I see what James is same Yeah

I'm just fucking But to me I've never been that huge Of a fan of Halo Reach Especially the stuff That they've just released Being multiplayer and campaign I like the campaign

But I'm not gonna pay To play the campaign again No I didn't pay anything Because it's on game post Yeah true I mean I've got a game post Runs really well on PC Looks great on PC

I don't have that much Free time to play video games Yeah Yeah So I want to play something you haven't played. Shit, I haven't played, yeah. Yeah, whereas if there's any game that is, like, defined my gaming career is Halo Reach. Whether, like, whether you like it or not, like, that's my one.

Yeah. I was really thinking about that, like, and the game has issues. Like, it really does have problems. Mechanically, especially in, like, Slayer multiplayer. I think there are some real issues there Yeah, definitely Real balancing problems With all the armor abilities

And like the weird Um I don't even know how to describe it With the like hit registration or something Something with a DMR A rifle There's something going on there But

What's in all It's one of those Um Which is one of those games to me It's like It's the most excited I've ever been for a game Yeah I'll never like reach that before like again sorry like that level of excitement for something right and it was like the ultimate like love letter from that company because they knew they were abandoning Halo after that like that was it and I just remember thinking Halo was just like the coolest thing to me because like Halo 1 to 3 and ODST there's like a certain goofiness to it do you know I mean like a certain goofiness to it you know what I mean like a

that there is something a little bit more silly about it and reach was the first time like i i must have been like 17 when it came out it was the first time where it was like halo like really took itself seriously it was darker it was grittier and it like really took itself seriously and it didn't fuck around it was like characters were dying left and right it had a really moody like atmospheric tone to it it's cool and like replaying the campaign i i i i I finished it on Legendary the other day and I had a newfound respect for it because of course you're going to like the thing

that like when you love it that much in like a nostalgic way you're going to love it no matter what but there were things about it I was like oh I really like a lot of details there like the people that love the Star Wars movie Rogue One I think it's actually

a lot better than Rogue One in the way it achieves that that same tone that like hopeless like this is a battle that where everyone right like the tagline of from the beginning you know the end is like I remember attaching myself to that like I'm finding just thinking that was so cool to me because like reach like in the halo community was like this like like a really important moment in the history of the like universe it's really cool that they did that as well because from Halo 1 the majority of the fan base that was crazy about

the law. It was all from the books and which was there is some contention that um some like hardcore halo fans have with what the game like contradicts from the novel but to me I would take what the developers say over the yeah that was always my logic where it's like well in the if it's in a bungee game that's like what is the truth to me because I read the reach novel like years and years ago yeah I read it I read it um but I always preferred the reach game because that was like i could play it like that was that was reality to me that was what it was yeah it was just really cool to me and it makes like master chief cooler because it's just like you're playing as all these spartans and they're just being picked off one by one

and like they're really yeah it's just a it's just a cool idea for a game it's like a thematic through line of just like this utter hopelessness and like struggle just to achieve just a small goal that like makes all the difference yeah i love that kind of thing and yeah the multiplayer is fun especially because like it's just you know when you know a game so well like you just know it in and out you know the matter so well that you can just break it like you're just

you're such a force to be reckoned with like it's probably you of modern warfare too you know you of Arkham city like you just it's just you just get it you know you're like what as soon as you hold that controlling you load up the game like you're just won with it It's like a really unique connection you have With this bit of software

It's cool And everyone has their one of those And that's my will It pisses me off though When I go to play Reach And I meet one of those people Yeah Oh there's nothing more of Furying

And then an asshole on Halo Yeah No There's nothing more The biggest capacity for assholes But it also creates One of the best Like communities

Yeah, that's the thing Like, Donkey uploaded his video on it. It's so emotive. Yeah. Like, people teabagagging in there, like, talking shit in the chat and stuff like that. That is what, that was the moment,

I always liked video games, but that was what was so cool about Halo 3 to me. Because do you remember, when we first got Xbox Live, we were just playing at Halo 3 on those, like, you had to, like, play introductory, like, matchmaking games? And some random guy just messaged us

and invited us to, a party when we spoke to him and he just was like he just explained halo three to us and what was cool about halo three and was like yeah he like loaded up like a uh one of those like custom games was like yeah these are the best custom games and it was like the coolest thing it was like such a community that's strange because i have that kind of thing the first time the second time i went to cod after ascending cod leveling i was level one and i did 40 to one on my first match and someone message me, it's like, is this your first time playing? And then I kind of got morphed into this, like, pro league team and just like,

became like such a cod player just because some guy messaged me and I just met loads of people for it. It's the, it's the really, it's the really cool thing about, like, when, when games get it right, you know? Yeah. Like, there was, do you know what partly has killed that? What? Things like Discord.

Yeah? Party chat. Yeah. It was party chat more than anything, probably. But, I mean, on the PC side of things. Mm. Yeah. It's rather than it's all that.

You can't really organically just meet someone through playing a video game. Yeah. But there are so many moments like that. Like, I remember from the 360 days, like, there was such a, like, there was, like, a community, like, vibe to it, you know? it's strange it was so funny too yeah it's like I don't get it like being back in those days it's just like a kid it's just like you you talk shit you just you talk to random people I was never one of them

there was just all these teenagers just like fucking with each other and just like trying to one up each other it was like so funny it was like it was horrible as well though it was intense horrible yeah it could get really competitive at times but also like really lighthearted and funny too I just don't get it like how as kids do we just have this ability to be

like okay with that but now if you put I won't I won't speak and like a game lobby because I'm scared of people judging me but back then it was just like I would just talk to know anyone no because I loved that shit I loved like fucking with people on Xbox Live that was like the funniest thing to me

I mean it was for a long time you're doing the raids on destiny yeah that's what I mean yeah yeah because because they're doing doing like raids and destiny was like the only way you could really get into like a chat with a bunch of like strangers effectively the thing is the way you talk to these people

it's fucking funny it's so so not malicious no whereas you get these people that are just assholes go fuck your motto i hate your guts they're hiding behind the veil of yeah no that wasn't what was fun about it to me i never did that kind of stuff. You kind of acted kind of stupid a lot of the time to try and get them to react to your behaviour. Yeah.

And ludicrous. You basically tried to see how far you could go before people would notice that you're... Fucking with them. Yeah. Yeah.

And in the case of that destiny raid, nobody... It made it so much funny. Nobody realized that you actually weren't Australian. Yeah. For those you don't know, we're like, you were there for that whole one, weren't you?

Ruben was there too. Yeah. And I was basically just trying to make Jim and Ruben laugh, though. That was like... I remember I didn't want to ruin it for you, so I'd mute myself. Yeah. I'd have to, like, cry.

Ruben's so funny. Yeah, so there were like these three strangers, like a couple Americans, like some... Just taking it proper serious. Yeah, they were like, they were in there to play destiny. And we weren't like troll... We were playing the game normally.

Like, we were doing the old expert, like, Raiders at that point, like just going through it no problem but just being really weird on the mic and it was just so entertaining to me

I love that kind of shit that's my main memory of playing destiny lute lute Luke hangaroo so fucking I really regretted not recording that

yeah that would have been a 10,000 views on YouTube moment yeah man 10,001 views potentially I didn't I never got to experience

that's a shame to be honest well booby do be do bough well booby doby do b do we can sneak another one in a couple more minutes left oh my god nat figure says when can we find out what ganga satellite is what that fuck is Ganges satellite, James? I told you about this earlier. I planned one of Alex's quingmas gifts, and it fell

through at the last moment. Because it was supposed to be a custom-crafted bong in this shape of a spaceship. But it was £1,000 on Canada, so I was just like, oh no.

So that whole Ganges satellite thing, you kept saying, I was going to, when I was going to give you a gift, I was going to say, how would you get to a Ganges satellite? And then you'd unbox, a spaceship, there's a bong, and that's, like, really funny to me. Yeah. So I was, like, teasing.

Because you're getting high as fuck. That would have been funny. That would have been fun. I tease him. I tease him, so that it's just like... No, but Gantra satellite was first brought up when we were playing Gears of War 5, or whatever the latest one is.

And there's, like, a mission where you've got to send a satellite up. That's right. And organically, Alex mentioned, like, Ganges satellite and you said to me, Jamie, remember and write down Ganges Sattel. You don't get this though because I fucking sent this bong to you at the start of the year because I saw it. I kind of remember that. That's it. That's the long of it. I have memory of it too. I was going to get you that and that's why I knew that in my head and then he said about

a Ganges satellite so I was just like this works. I can intertwine this and it just fell through. But then I've also got one That's incredible I've got a backup that works equally as well Like all of the jar gifts Are so intertriending history It's weird It's just going to be so good

Look forward to cringe mus Yeah I'm looking forward to cringe mus It's going to be a special one this year For now though That's the end of this episode You'll have to get to the game It's late at late at night And James's got to work tomorrow

Yes I've got to walk well Bye bye bye Bye kai Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see on the next episode. Don't you worry about it. Sandy's on the screen. Don't even fucking fucking about it.

Sandy's back, baby. Yeah, thanks to all the patrons. Thanks for the supporters. Rate us five star on iTunes. If you're not a hater. We'll see on the next episode, everybody. Oh, I feel like I went on about Helo Reach for fucking ages. There's like 20 minutes of the second,

segment I was just like I know that feel do you know what my imagination just so much my game defining my gamer defining game is Dark Souls 1 That's 1 really

Nah