JAR Media Posdact - The Face of a Gooner - Corncast 40
Episode Date: May 4, 2021https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 04:41 Comment Lick 18:24 Halo Follower Reports on ...New Halo Drop Lootbox 24:57 Alex Briefly Mentions Avatar TLA 25:55 Manly Moments 32:17 Mid Break & Patron Names 41:16 Reddit Questions 41:45 Dream Goon Rotation 43:50 Yellow vs Pink Lemonade 44:08 The Pasta Debate Rages On 47:56 One Singular Poo In A Fictional Land 49:36 Sports 54:56 How is Billy Doing 56:16 The Worst Question Ever Asked on JAR 57:27 Nissan Micra 1:00:20 Born to wipe 1:08:06 Potata 1:13:59 Lions vs the Sun 1:17:36 The Call of the Wild
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Um, I had a chunk of, I had two lines of Capri's chocolate and now I feel terrible.
Two lines.
Yeah.
Lines Coke.
Two lines.
I might have to go eat some fruit. I feel terrible with myself.
Oh, God, do you think. Why do you have to do that now? Why can't you do it after?
What do you mean? I'll do it after.
Why do you need to eat some fruit now?
Because I feel terrible with myself.
What do you mean?
That's not how it works.
Yeah, what you're talking about?
What do you mean?
It's not how...
You can't, like, eat a fish and chips and then have a strawberry
and just undo what you've done.
You just have two lines those cabbies.
It's not bad.
I mean, if you're even half as smart as you think you are,
you just do what I do, which is, don't announce it.
Mute your mic, stand up, get something, come back.
No one's even noticed you're gone.
You know?
I noticed.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did.
No, you didn't.
I might have.
No, you didn't.
I'm literally never going to buy anything sweet.
I hate it.
Yes, see, tomorrow you're going to Starbucks to buy a sugar drink.
I'm not anymore because it's in Melchium and I'm driving to Chippenham.
I'm driving to Chippenham.
I'm getting a Burger King though.
Right, anyway, let's start.
Oh, it can be stuck.
I need to refill my water.
Oh my God.
insults me again i will be assaulting him hi hi what you mean nothing what you mean we've
already done the episode okay i'll see you guys here then i'm going to bed all right bye bye
I don't need to get myself hyped up
yeah
good afternoon morning, evening or night
ladies and gentlemen
this is episode
40
40
of the Jammie Gorncast
host
James
40 weeks
40 weeks
and I'm joined by
the lovely Wobin
the fantastic Alex
and the beautiful Jamie
oh
I thought you were going to do
like your own version
of the name's comeback
but yeah I thought it was going to be revenge
give me a different name
Gears of War fan
that's Jamie
yeah
Giz of War follower
off cue
50%
50% of you.
50% love you.
100% reason to remember my name.
What?
What?
It like lagged for me so I couldn't tell what he said.
It's my favourite thing whenever James' scream is broken up by bad internet, like connections.
It's nothing funnier to me.
100% reason to remember my name.
do you not remember that from the
the model warfare two era of like Xbox
where you'd go to sans a baron it'd be like
it'd be those cringy rap lyrics
like 20%
I can't remember the exact one
but it was just fucking cringe
because you had your bio
and your um you had your motto
didn't you? Yeah
people had that I can't remember my motto
We changed our motto's
constantly to mess of each other
My motto for some time was
The ending of Gears of War III
So you're the true Gears of War follower
Here
It was my childhood
That's what brought my mind into the mature world
Well speaking of the mature world
James you got the next segment
to introduce
Good luck describing what it is because it doesn't really have a name.
And thanking the patrons, right?
Um, a big thank you to the Patreon's over at Patreon.
Um, like and subscribe.
Um, this is the part of the show where we go over to the comment to
bow and filter through the dregs and find the juicy, the juicy comments.
Cordelius is going to start us off with a name suggestion, that being,
call it the comment convergence.
Thoughts?
No.
No.
No, not doing it for you?
How about, how about, um, how about we call it fuck off mate?
Ooh.
Okay.
That's a bit too far.
Too aggressive, a lot of aggression towards the gelling so far.
It's supposed to be PC.
Skinny and Humble has a different suggestion.
Similar to the logic behind calling it the comment enema,
can we please start calling it the comment douche, pretty please?
No, no.
How about we call it fuck off, mate?
Oh, mate.
I like the, uh, let's do a vote on that one.
I vote for douche.
What is a douche?
Yeah, I'll vote for douche.
it's that thing you take your shit in yeah it's a bidet right
wait no
you took a shit in a bidet
a douche is like a nozzle
that you squirt up your don't we
but you can also
doish out your pussy hole but you are advised not to
because it's a self-cleansing
organ or whatever we all know
that to bevan self-cleasing pussy
oh mate yeah
douche is also Nick Crowle's
famous line
He was a douche
In food fight
Oh yeah
And the joke was that he was a rapist
Oh my God
Yeah
Remember that?
Dude it's so funny
That's not a very funny joke at all
No
You have to see the film
It's actually like so funny
Windows XP autumn wallpaper is a superior choice left a comment for James
saying James you just need to accept the fact that everybody wants you and live with it
no that was in response to the by comment
well fair enough I hope people are happy
a stone weevil left one in response to this
toilet roll going against the wall thing controversial opinion having the toilet roll roll go under
is better because it makes it easier to tear it off one-handed because you can brace your wrist
against the roll how do you feel about that you can do that you can do that no matter what
yeah you can do that anyway yeah right next question get something that's not fucking stupid
this time uh will tell me nothing about shit either
let's leave shit alone for a few minutes
too early
we can save the shit bit
for a little bit later
Will Towers has one for us
in response to the
stand-up comedy topic
we talked about briefly last
episode
there's more to stand up than the boys know
as they said there was before COVID
and still now to a much lesser extent
a massive market for comedy clubs
and stand-up gigs people like
Chris Rock, Dave Shabell
James Acaster, Joe Rogan, etc. are not representations of the actual industry and are like saying PewDiePie represents all of YouTube.
Even in COVID in the UK, there have been so many live stream gigs, essentially not everything that appeals to society is on the internet and not every younger adult gets their entertainment from the internet.
And there was one other one on this subject from gluten-free WMD.
That stand-up discussion was bizarre because you guys didn't illustrate what you think the normal.
was for the industry as far as I'm aware stand-up has always been dominated by very few people at the top with a sea of people at the bottom on the grind while working another job and it makes sense that out of the four of you only one has been to a live show because stand-up is only a thing in large cities but most you bar and boys aren't living also the general audiences for shows like that are 35 and up
makes sense you guys have any thoughts yeah why weren't you fucking funny like and why wasn't it about shit
You know, next time, if you're going to ask us a question, just try harder, okay?
Just make it about farts, make it about shit, make it about piss, make it about animals.
It doesn't have to be human piss or shit.
It can be any piss or shit.
Yeah, which animals could we kill?
Which animals could we kill?
Which animals could kill each other?
Yeah, if you have something critical to report back in the comments, just think about that.
If the topic is remotely critical of us, just change it into a question about poo or something.
Yeah, if you're critical of us, just think, like, could I beat an eagle in a fight?
Yeah.
And the answer is probably no, and guess what, motherfucker, I can.
Yeah.
I have, no, for real, though.
One of the best hypotheticals I've ever seen.
Screen Cap for later.
It's like my favorite one, probably.
For real, though, I think, um, like, stand-up comedy,
if you wanted to laugh, like, back in the day,
day before the internet there weren't all that like you could watch friends i guess when it was on
on tv and like get one laugh and then feel sad but like back then you know comedy was a was a was a
was a rare commodity whereas now you know i look on twitter and it's just full of
Great comedy, man.
The freshest comedy.
Yeah, the freshest, most original, just ideas being put out there.
Michelle left one about belly button lint.
I had a friend who made out with the guy for the first time in their life,
and the guy she was with tried to finger her belly button, question mark.
And when she was home, she checked her belly button and there was blood.
later I would learn that he thought
that fingering was penetrating the belly button
just a weird thing that I remembered
that's fucking grim
that's sex
that sets I'm sorry
how old would you have to be to think that
I mean
genuinely
you really shouldn't be
like that's basic biology
where the belly button is and what the belly button
like why it's there
which is not a lot
it just sort of
yeah it's fucked up actually
I think belly buttons are weird
like they exist as a
they're a scar from when
you had a tube feeding you
like in the Matrix
it's like pulling out that shit from the back of your neck
apart from it's your belly button
Jake Magro has one for James
How is James enjoying Jojo
Has he got to Stardust Crusaders
Also Alex you seem very interested
When James is talking about Jojo
Do you want to watch it too
So James
Any updates
The honest truth
I can't multitask
Like if I'm enjoying Apex
I can only play Apex
So I can't
do anything else like I can't
I haven't finished a first season
of Jojo I've got like one episode
to go but I'm
going to I'm going to just I need
to let my apex
energy drain
um
yeah I'm more interested in James
opinions than I am watching it myself
so it's fucking dumb as fuck
and I love it
kind of sick crumbly guy
can round the section off
In regards to the pasta conversation that just pissed everyone off, you know, be honest.
This one is aimed at Ruben though.
Ruben made me irrationally pissed off with his spaghetti statement.
Do you forget how it can be eaten a billion different ways?
Twisting, slurping, scooping, etc.
God damn it.
And guess what?
None of them are satisfying because it's fucking spaghetti.
Fucky.
Do people eat?
Do people eat spaghetti differently?
I just kind of put it on a fork and eat it.
I couldn't.
I use a spoon.
Riven, do you like noodles?
Answer the fucking question.
Do you like noodles?
Want to let's take the clothes off?
I'll take the fucking gloves off.
Yeah, I like noodles.
You like spaghetti, bitch.
Fuck you. How did you know?
I just like, I think there are lots of other pastas.
With noodles, it's like, oh, fuck, I've got to have noodles
because I want to have food that you have with noodles.
So you don't like, you don't like Carbonara?
I don't know.
I haven't had Carbonara on a while.
So you don't like spaghetti bolognese?
No, spaghetti bolognese is all right.
It's just all right.
That's it.
So, fuck off.
That's wrong.
It's mid.
Typical English person opinion, James guy.
I prefer
a porn one
No, Bolognese
What piss you off about
What? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wholenase, James, where do you stand?
It's just a good baseline
If I went to an Italian restaurant, I wouldn't be buying a Bollonaze
Spaghetti Bolognaise isn't even Italian meat
I don't know
Wait, I need to fucking fact-check this bitch
Spaghetti Bolognese is not Italian
I'm fact-checking, you're fact-checking
Yeah, I'm contacting the independent fact-checking
Yo, it's spaghetti bolognese
Italian from
It literally, I fucking googled it
I googled it, I googled Spaghetti Bolognaz origin
And it comes up a flag of Italy
Yeah, that's fucking fact-checking
No, where do you stand on it? Do you think it's good? Do you think it's good? Do you think
It's better.
It's just a baseline,
in it?
Fuck it.
Spaghetti-Boronez is good.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, it's good.
It's the baseline.
Bolognaise sauce, UK.
No, it's...
It's from Bologna.
Bologna!
Bologna!
Next are going to tell me
that the Tika masala is not Indian.
Fuck it.
See that?
That was my stand-up routine.
That's all I'm in typical.
What are you saying right about?
Jim, guess what drink I've got?
You got to guess I drink it is from the burr
Iron brew, iron brew.
No, it's alcoholic.
You love iron brew.
Okay, vodka with iron brew.
Why are you telling them these lies?
I'll give you a clue.
It rhymes with
poo soon
uh monsoon
no
that doesn't rhyme with poo soon
yeah there's monsoon
pooh mon oh yeah
poo mon
it's my favourite
fucking Pokemon
the poo mon
the poo monster
um
you're drinking poo
oh come on Alex
that's a bit too far
Pooh
What was it?
Poon monsoon
Yeah
Poon monsoon
Poo sune
Disserano and Pepsi
Fuck you
Fuck you
Moving on what's the next subject
I guess we're in the topic section now
Oh no
And I've got one
Regarding
certain someone's
favorite series that they follow.
My favorite series?
Gears of War?
Shut up Gears War follower, shut up
Fallout follower. This is HALA
Follower's time to speak.
Who the fuck is following
fallout these days, man?
Some brave soul.
God, did you just see
the news? 76 news.
I hear they're making
it fun in the next update.
no way great now we're gonna get the comments we played it again recently and it sucks
yeah fuck you that's that game is fucking awesome man fuck you what was this about halo yeah um oh well
i was handing it over to the halo follow oh yeah uh halo infinite had its inside infinite update
for this month um must have been last night it must have happened while i was asleep so i guess
Let's just say today, because I don't know, where they just detailed their sort of commitment to making it a, not just a port, but built with PC in mind from the start.
And I'm going to say, I mean, I kind of believe them based on the support they've shown for widescreen monitors and, you know, the level of, the amount of options you can have available to you for the graphics and things.
And based on some of the screenshots they showed, it do be looking pretty.
good you know so yeah yeah you're pleased about the wide screen won't you jim very much so
ultra wide too isn't it yeah i don't think my screen is uh ultra wide but it's wide and the amount of
games you play you'll just boot a game up especially fallout games you'll boot up a fallout game
and it'll be like some some little thing will pop up and be like what things do you want
And then you choose all the correct settings and then it's like a tiny one millimeter by one centimeter box in the center of your screen and you're trying to play your fucking fall out you Vegas in this tiny little thing.
But no, this shit looks fucking good.
And if they design the game with this in mind, then they won't fall into some of the pitfalls with games that do support widescreen.
but down
like support support
wide screen
so it's
they released a bunch of screenshots
and we still haven't actually seen the game in motion
since that E3 demo
they're kind of tease that they're going to be showing stuff
because I mean we're basically there at E3
again this year so we'll probably see it in motion
properly then
but from these screenshots I think the environments
look really good.
It's the exact kind of thing
I want to explore.
Again, it is hard
to kind of measure it
without seeing anything running.
You can see the
people are complaining
about some of the enemies
not casting shadows
if you look on the one
with like the hallway
inside the kind of
forerunner facility
the grunts and jackals
aren't casting any shadow
and kind of look like
the brute is?
No, not that one.
That's the other screenshot.
Um, yeah.
And it's like a mixture of the designs of like the 3-4-3 grunts and the original designs.
It looks pretty good.
Um, and, uh, in the background of that one that does have the brute, there's like the original guardian design, um, from Halo 3.
So I don't know what that means.
If they've like changed the design of guardians or, oh, this is something else or.
Yeah.
some interesting stuff i don't know how i feel about the look of the jackal that's on the left
there the kind of a brutish jackal yeah just color-wise it looks very uh sort of cartoonies
well yeah i think the whole game's going for that kind of art style though where it's a
really very cartoonish color pop that yeah the like fire and recolors yeah yeah i do think
I think this game looks like way more of a sequel to Halo 3 than Halo 4 and 5 ever did.
Yeah.
Yeah, what do you think, James?
No.
As someone who doesn't care too much about Halo and thinks it's dead, what does this say to you?
My whole opinion on Halo, like since, like 5 is that I kind of gave up hope on it.
With the way those games were going and how even infinite in its...
When like the first information came out about it, I just didn't have hope.
But seeing this, it does seem to be hitting notes that the older good games were.
And, you know, after the Hilo game, yeah.
Yeah, and after the gameplay, the E3 won.
There was stuff there that was good, but obviously it was just a, it was probably a rushed build.
And they have delayed it since.
So I think that on the white track, it just depends how it's launched.
If it's launched in a bad state, it's not going to do the game any good.
I think Ruben said that I'm all off recording.
But yeah, I've got hope.
I just hope it, they can launch it in a good state
and people can actually get behind it.
Yeah, let's see how the hype cycle goes for it.
Hopefully when they show it properly at all.
I don't know, they'll impress compared to the last time it was shown.
Yeah, I think they need to show off multiplayer as well.
because
I mean with
with
with Halo
I don't think
it's a case
of the old
like Halo multiplayer
style is dead
I think people want it
it's just that
they're not giving it
they're told no you should like this more
call of duty style of
game and
shit like that
I think they need to
to really double down
on what makes Halo Halo.
I think either way it's going to be the most successful one in this era probably.
Yeah.
Just because of the free-to-play aspect and how many platforms it's going to be on.
Yeah, just the fact it's on PC is massively appealing to me.
Yeah.
Like knowing I don't have to buy a console.
Cross-save.
Yeah.
Because then even if I do get an Xbox at some point, it's like I don't.
I read, um, like, apparently 10 million people have played the MCC on PC, which is like, wow.
Yeah, I believe it.
That's a lot for fucking Halo.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, so there's some sense to it.
They're finally making something work.
We'll see there.
We'll see.
Um, in other news, I wanted to shout out, um, um,
Avatar, The Last Airbender.
I've finally been watching it on Netflix a bit.
I finished book one.
Yeah, it's really good.
Really endearing characters.
I was telling Jim it kind of has that Kung Fu Panda energy
with that kind of aloof main character that's like a child,
but they have the hints of cool epicness that comes out every now and again.
Yeah, I'll keep it at that for now while I'm still watching it.
I just wanted to throw that out there.
Yeah, I've always wanted to watch that show.
Well, yeah, it's on Netflix.
I mean, and I was kind of watching it while doing some DIY and, like, painting and stuff.
So it's kind of perfect stuff for that.
Speaking of DIY,
I want to know, what things do you do?
all of you that makes you feel like a man like a grown-up man you're talking like a
end of dexter you know yeah like end of dexter lumberjack sort of shit lumberjack
well um uh nothing no that's fucking bullshit you're the person you're the person i know for a fact
Yes, obviously.
Yeah, of course.
Talk about it, bitch.
I don't feel like a man, though.
I don't even think that, oh, look, I'm manly because I'm...
Oh, shut up.
You whip out a spanner and you fucking turn some shit and you're...
Yeah, you grease monkey.
Yeah, you grease up some fucking dude.
You put on the glistanky costume and then you just get slithering in the grease.
Quietly, somewhere in your head, you know that Parvi is thinking, like, it's feeling fulfilled.
Like, this is a physical...
This is making me feel like a man doing a physical task.
No, that's, that is genuinely something to the, like, psyche of men, though.
It's like doing a man, maintaining a thing.
Cutting down a tree.
Changing a light bulb.
Changing a light bulb.
Changing a light bulb.
But especially if you have to use a tool.
Like, if you have to whip out the hammer.
A lawnmower, yeah.
Yeah.
A brush.
A tool.
Oh, I don't have any need for anything like that where I live, but...
But specifically, Ruby...
Change a light bulb.
Yeah, what makes you feel manly?
Do you know, one of the most exciting moments in the last year was that I bought a spanner
to use on my car, and I found that absolutely just exciting, because it's one that twists.
So you don't have to take your fucking spanner off to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's so exciting. Fuck me.
I was excited for weeks to use this spanner.
It was a £2 spanner off Amazon.
Fucking riveting.
Yeah, I bought my first screwdriver, but it turned out to accidentally be a Doctor Who replica thing.
So, it's fucked.
Yeah, I do that stuff.
I work on my car, so I'm touching tools all the time.
But do you find even, like, cleaning your car, even cleaning your car, giving it a wax?
part of your brain is like
yep
I guess I'm a man now
yeah to an extent
because it's like when it's all done
and you look at it it's like
oh nice
yeah that's what the garage is for me
it's just the micromanage
man zone I guess
true
that's very true
you're a fuse
and a plug
yeah oh my god yeah no that's a big one when you have to like take a little plug
apart I took a little I had to take like this the yellow like key fob thing you have for
opening up your um check your electricity meter or check your gas meter thing did that the other day
had to like send a picture of it to the provider so they could you know see if they've been over undercharging
uh they haven't whatever um had to do that that was a bit of a just like doing man
task bloke thing yeah just being okay of it you know just doing the dutiful thing i'll take
the bins up i'll think of a fuck i'll just do it i'll just do it yeah but you're reminding me
i need to do that one of my biggest things was uh this was like a pivotal moment
In my life, um, I'd gone to McDonald's and ordered a burger, burger meal, and some chicken nuggets as well.
And I sat, I sit down and get my, my burger and meal and stuff.
And then I'm like, hold up, where's the chicken nuggets, man?
And you know what I did? I got up, I walked to the front and I'm like, dude.
There's chicken nuggets.
in this receipt
but I don't have my chicken nuggets
and you know
I made sure I got these chicken nuggets
did you scream
no
that's not a man thing
that's just an adult thing
you just do that when you're an adult
I mean this is a broad subject
it doesn't have to
I mean man in the
way that we are all
of the male gender
or sex or whatever
See, no, no, no, here's the thing
If in that situation, I wouldn't have got the nuggets
Because I've, I just, nah
It's McDonald's, I don't give enough of a shit
To get the nuggets
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not about giving a shit, it's about
I paid for these nuggets.
So I'm gonna get my nuggets.
Yeah, but I'm anxious.
It's like, that's the one thing I hate doing, is that.
Like, I'm not built for that.
James.
Sing!
Sing!
Sing us into the next messages.
No, I didn't mean sing, it's in sing.
It just means yes.
What do you mean?
Sing us into the next messages then.
Yes, sing us.
Good afternoon, good morning, good evening, or good night.
This is the JAR media podcast.
Why are you doing the intro?
What am I supposed to sing?
Sing us into the fucking next bit.
You never see you after these messages?
We'll see you after these messages.
No, sing it.
I can't sing!
I can't do this, I'm so...
Alex, sing us into the next messages.
D-l-la-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Yo-yo, Pua-ka, I see you wearing that walflu-end.
Do you not know that we've got some jar of merch for sale?
See the link down in the description and get yourself a bloody bee.
Bebo t-shirt.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Just gonna have a few breathes.
Have as many breathes as you need.
I'm gonna have so many breathes that I'm gonna use both my mouth and nose.
Good afternoon.
Morning, evening or night?
This is the part of the show where we head over to the lovely Patreon's on Patreon.
Patreon.com
and give a big
thanks so a big thank you
to Jensen Smith
Degoff yours
Dusty Dunma
Bussey
The One T loser
Nti Zula
Lord Chiquit
the King of the Banana Republic
Mr. Chips
wearing a deer stalker
looks through a magnifying glass
at an empty toilet
The adventures are
The Adventures of Clutch Powers
Enjoyer
Dennisville Nerves Goon
Zythia
If it's an arsehole
I'm inside it
If I see Dick
I gotta ride it
I got a boner
Gotta hide it
If I see four skin
Gotta bite it
Big Joe
The Jar Boys discussed
The Long History of Pooh
and Farts
Two in the new HBO
Show
Scoopy Pooh JAR Incorporated
Dany Green Art on Instagram
One time my friend drunk
20 standards worth of goon
and passed out in front of his house
He has not been allowed to sesh since
Jamie
Ike Benjam
Tonyos Weld
My from Overwatch freezes James's car
while he's on the M4
and he gets into an 15 car pile up
Sad Nietzsche shit
Oh my god so false work
worsty
it's fun to stay at the YMCA
review tech USA
mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo
clunge bob spunk trunks
ah yeah
a random dibby jarling
well on these parts I'm known as
Leaking Longcock Leonard
my dick is very long and I'd be
pissing and coming hence the name
Crash punk
James is just a nice version of
Gareth from the UK office
snort minger dinger
etc etc fancy nancy i'm gonna say the squid word big chungus oh my goodness this candy is so sour dog dog fucker
ymi the ferret salad five three seven prince philip rip gondon not forgot and i don't miss you big man
don't check out nate's mini figs on instagram check out d's nuts instead adam mcbride
Krusty Kamakaze.
If James is pisser dick, who is shitter ass?
Lloyd Anderson's Instant five stars.
Instant five stars, sorry.
Please refer to patrons as producers.
Harriet Broadly.
The passionate gooner.
Big Cheezer.
Servals are kinda cool.
Goon eternal.
My tongue is fat.
My tongue wrench.
Wrench.
Wrench.
Where is the rent?
Oh, there it is.
Hey, uh-oh, I'm stuck.
Uh, hey, my tongue is fat.
Annie.
Oong, Ong, Ng, Ng, U, U, U, I-I-I-I-I-I-I.
The doopster, aka KSI-LGBQ Plus.
Black Pan 94 or AC-PAN director.
Take your pick.
The Bush Bush.
KSI, please stop wearing my mother's wedding dress.
Review Tech James's Goon Cave.
Wait, where's Mario Juice?
Did he die very rough?
This is breaking my balls, Mario, please.
You could not live with your own failure.
Where did that...
Where did that bring you?
Back to Formula.
Gilbert, the awesome one.
Sir, permission to leave the station.
For what purpose, pisser dick?
To give the covenant back vest spin time.
Permission granted.
Nate's mini-figs, check him out on Instagram.
Jarvis.
upload enough review text into my brain to put me to sleep for the next month.
Cortana, wait me when jar needs me.
011.1. I.E.2?
Mr. Cheesy Watsits that crunch on its head, 1,000.
Okay, I'll ask you one more time.
Who was in Paris?
Check out these fat nuts on Instagram, aka Wanker Cock.
Big Mouth Episode V-I-I-I-The-Dush Awakens.
Cobalt Rad
Welcome to Callum's Corner
Drain my cock
Johnson
Chaser de Dragon
My ancestors are smiling at me
Review Tech Tamriel
Can you say the same
Blade Runner 277
The Gargoyle of the World
Usually
Usually costs quite a bit more
To get our fantasies read to us
Hence all the gay love
Joseph Jewish Jarling
Oh, look at me. I'm Nate's mini-figs.
Everyone fund all my balls. Please, he-ha-o-woo.
Fuck that guy. I hate you, Nate.
Jesus.
Delicious delights and thanks for
Fing-Fing-Fing-Fingha-Fanga.
Jack. Tom Fudging Armstrong.
Welcome to the Islamic Communist Revolution.
The Christian capitalist status quo has gone on too long.
Hi, honey. I'm home from the future.
His drink has unleashed.
I didn't get the backpiece tattoo of Argo.
Iron Kavanaugh.
Oh, a piece of candy.
Michael Mann, 2000.
Stephen is human.
Meekly.
Conatada.
Butter me up some porn on the cob.
Up on melancholy hill, there's a Mazda 3.
Greetings, Corncast viewers.
Make sure you're using the provided jar 4DX pocket post.
is to get the full experience.
Cassia fucking
Manigan and
wait, where's David Wallace?
Did he unsubscribe from this?
This is breaking my heart, David, please.
James Lover, 2988.
Master Chief, what are you doing with those
$5?
It's donating it to JAR Media
Posdact.
Thomas Martin. We all
will remember David Wallace, but will anyone
remember Evan Pierce? I noticed
that Thomas Evan Combo died and
so did I.
Quebec films.
Check Nick's
Instagram. Minifigs.
ORA. Cool
dip chip.
Keck Flexington.
Numa Numa Banana.
Ben.
Fartbag.
George Kenwood Parker.
Jez.
Or Gez.
Fiddle, aka the Cream.
Dream Offel,
2142.
Fion O'Gorman.
Melvin, Melvin,
brother of the Joker.
King Kong Fan 3.
Samole, guacamole.
Impe Cowboy.
William Knowles.
Acolyte.
I'm sorry I cheated on you, Pissadick.
I couldn't help myself around your sister.
Milka Titt, says Drink a Mouth.
Lilith.
Danny G-based Lord.
Woodbecker from Mars.
Edgy Erica.
Couple of cow cuds.
Check out Nate's mini-figs on Instagram.
Lewis Big Boy Borshrow, Horsborough.
Thurdea Pleeman.
Sam Buckley, aka Revutex Swindon.
My cock is bulbous, has balls, Raydahl.
Ideal in the reel.
L1, L2, R1, L2.
Left down, right up, left down, right up.
Sam.
Mordecaiser mains rise up.
Adam Johnston.
Tom Wyss.
Juan Hernandez.
Jam.
SpongeBob Square pant.
Honey, I'm hurt.
I swear I'm not.
Logie Bear.
Born to piss.
Forced to drink.
Jake White.
Big whoops.
Grembleau.
He's coming too.
Roger that.
That gaming gangster, he games when nobody else be looking, he game when the game is least deserve the game in but he'd do it anyway.
Big cheese, Kuta Panda, 1110, 11110, N.
Lucy Tye is an Asian anal queen, Randy ruins Patreon, the Poo Manon, the Pooh Man, Jake Ram, Katia fucking Managan, and David Wallace.
Thanks everyone.
Welcome to the second half of the Jarmidja Corncast.
I am your host, James, and I'm joined by a few people.
You know who they are.
This is the second half of the show where we go over to our lovely Reddit
to read some lovely Reddit questions.
And yeah, take it away, boys.
The Boy Baz is going to start us off.
We're all aware of the dream.
dream blunt rotation meme but I'm wondering what your dream goon rotation is this being your most
desired party members for a group gooning session none thoughts I don't think I want
to goon with someone else to be honest okay so number one the master chief I want
how big his dick is number two Marcus Phoenix I want to how big his dick is number three
the rock it's one I'm there you doesn't even need to goon I just think you'd be a nice sort of
presence.
Throwing
clap trap.
Max Payne.
Max Payne.
I think he'd
bring it down and
no one would goon.
In fact,
he'd probably
talk them into
and then talk them
out of killing themselves.
All of the
FNAF animatronics.
Do you mean
a Freddie, Bonnie,
Foxy and
and Golden?
I think I know
gyms.
I think it would be
Fire Team
Cyrus from his favorite game.
Dream Blump rotation.
I'm going to say
Zechero?
Yeah, Wolf
from Sackero.
I'm going to say
Patrick and Svangelbub.
Sandy from Spangebob.
I'm going to
say uh the dad from fairly your parents is a goon
i'm gonna say cosmae from fairly your parents
i'm gonna have to say
i'm gonna have to say the grim reaper
from the grim adventures of billy and mandi
no billy is the gooner from that show
Leg 23 has one for us
Thoughts on yellow versus pink lemonade
Pink
Just taste of us
Wait
Yellow is normal
Yeah yellow is normal
Oh
Bubba Ducky has one for us
This is regarding the pasta thing
The ongoing debate
You guys talking about pasta and knowing you're just eating box shit is making me cringe.
Here's the deal, bitches.
If you're eating box pasta, you're not even really eating pasta.
For some reason, there's a facade of a barrier of entry to cooking five-star food at home
that restaurants and corporations have hammered into people's heads,
so they keep paying assholes for some fucking pasta.
It's pretty simple and fun to make your own pasta,
and it's unrecognisably better than box pasta.
Same goes for just about everything in the frozen aisle.
I remember making homemade pasta for the first time
and it completely changed my outlook on food
and even my whole life.
I haven't even had the temptation to eat fast food
and I don't know how long
and it's because I deeply value my home cooking
knowing the effect of each ingredient
and perfectly crafting a meal for yourself
and all your friends slash family slash hose
Jesus is such a good skill to have
and such an easy skill at that.
So my question is, do any of you cook your own stuff?
Do any of you watch any cooking YouTube channels
have your recipes of your own.
I was thinking, this sounds a lot like an
American, and then when you get to the end, I was like,
this is an American. This is a hundred.
Of course I fucking cook for myself.
What? Am I a big baby? I eat
frozen meals from the goo goo gag a section?
Shut the fuck up. Of course I don't do that.
Yeah, I cook for myself.
Yeah, okay. What did you cook today, James?
What did you cook for yourself?
Uh,
a bastard pre-made meal from me.
Yeah, yeah
See
What's this box pasta thing
Frozen Isle thing?
Like just buy like a bag of
fucking dried pasta
Boiler
I don't want to buy fresh pasta
every time
It's quite expensive
I think I'm made of money
Huh?
Yeah
What do they mean by box pasta?
Yeah like box
Like cheap box
Is that's how they sell it in
Reference
Is it like frozen
Because you can buy like
Pre-made like
Pasture meals
That's like
different right yeah that's a meal which are just plain pasta just pasta on a shelf that you
take home you boil and you cook and then use in a meal yeah so you don't make it by
hand or whatever no here's the thing like if I'm cooking for myself I'm not going to go to
I'm not going to put all the effort in to make everything myself because I'm cooking for
myself if I'm cooking for someone they're getting a five-star meal because it's someone
else. I don't give a shit about what I eat.
When's the last time you cooked for me?
Long time ago, Jamie.
Name one time.
Never. I've never cooked for you.
I mean, if you want to make pasta, like you need, you need
quite, you need like a good surface area
and you need a fucking load of eggs and a load of flour.
And then it takes time. And then people use that
fucking stupid machine as well. Like, it's not easy
to make pasta. It's not easy at all.
It's a, it's time-consuming.
It's time consuming.
And a lot of people don't have the time and they're coming back to your work at 5 o'clock.
And then they've got to clean the house.
Later than that, James.
Later, like half six, some people, man.
Yeah.
And they got dogs, kids.
And it's just like, you just cook things that are easy.
Plain pasta from the package.
Hey, a mama me, I've got to make a pasta.
No, you're not going to do that.
Sorry, kids.
Dinner's not going to be till fucking half 11.
Mommy's got to make pasta.
From scratch.
Yeah.
It's good if you're going to, if you're having a date with your fucking wife,
your anniversary and you're going to cook a, a, a, a, a,
your pasta dish. Yes, the effort to make your own pasta will be appreciated. When you've got
home from work, you just want to fucking eat. Boom. Easy, whatever. Yeah, straight out the box.
Out of the box, out of the freezer section. Well, speaking of poo, um, um, challenge champion
that's not for us. Um, if you could do a poo in one fictional land. Which one would you
pick. I would pick the
Wally universe so then he could come back to my
Titanic turd, thank you.
Thanks a Pooh Challenge
champion.
Fucking
Um
wasn't it?
One fictional land.
I'm not creative enough for this.
Fictional land.
Is Top Gear a fictional land?
No.
Top Gear.
Wait, hang on.
Wait, what was a question about poo on a fictional land?
If you could do a poo in one fictional land.
Yeah, what land would it be?
In the Skyrim, no doubt.
I thought that.
I would take...
You know what I would do?
I would take a shit in whichever toilet
James' fallout New Vegas character drinks out of the most.
I just ruin.
it, I'd ruin his main toilet.
I'd do a poo for a Dutnikum to throw.
I'd poo in
Dandelion's pub in the Richer Free.
That's a pretty good place to poo, actually, I think.
I'd probably go Rick and Morty.
Oh, fuck off.
Leave him alone, has on four.
us.
I've never heard you boys talk about sports
before. What sports have you
played? What sports do you watch?
Worst sport? Best sport?
Fuck.
Okay, let's just, can we just get this straight?
Villain, I don't know how many episodes.
We mainly talk about
video games and movies.
We're not sport people
who you haven't realised.
Sorry, bro. We're gamers.
No, it's just no one's ever asked.
I just, I don't watch
I used to watch football
I sometimes on a yearly basis
will watch the Grand National
I will watch the World Cups
and the Euros
I don't...
And NASCAR
NASCAR
No I don't follow NASCAR
Sorry we'll continue
Like sport
I've never done sport
As a person
I've never gone to play sport
and I don't watch it now
I just watch motorsport
which is different
I've never been into watching sport
I've never been down watching it really
you have to
you have to get invested in it
in the teams and the players
and I don't have time
there's too much efforts
as far as sports I played
I was I liked badminton a lot
and like athletics and
All that kind of shit.
I wasn't really interested in the, like, group competitive ones as much, you know.
Cricket and rugby and stuff.
Swimming as well, I did big time.
Jamie was a professional, um, polo player.
Yeah, I like, uh, polo and non-ice hockey.
Non-ice.
Yeah, hockey on gross.
What is the worst sport?
What actually is it?
Worst sport?
American football.
Oh, jeez.
It's just shaped rugby.
Yeah, that...
If rugby didn't exist, I think American football would be kind of sick.
But rugby is just like...
Sick American football.
Yeah, yeah.
According to the top tens.com,
number one voted worst sport is.
cricket oh yes it is what sorry cricket cricket yeah yeah cricket sucks
it sucks it's just all the innings outings upings and downings wickets
sickets throwing the ball what the f I'm just making shit up at this point
but yeah what the fuck are they talking about and they're over for something
at the second dittings what what a fucking stuffy piece of shit fucking British
sport. Actually no I've got
no no that's not true
the worst one is
the one where they
just kill a ball for no reason
that's the worst sport because they're
just killing animals
boom
um
this list has
a muggle quidditch
on it
the fuck does that mean
I heard
people play
Quidditch
Yeah, no, people actually do
Run around playing fucking
Yeah
What's the take on a golf?
Golf is sick
Yeah, golf can be sick
I'm sorry, but golf is fucking awesome
I was watching a guy doing trick shots
Like golf trick shots
That was sick
Yeah, I don't really have a problem with golf
Bull riding
Yeah
No skill
Lame
Snooker
Snooker
That's just
Pool but
For dorks
Darts
Chad
Table tennis
Table tennis
No that's for actual
Like
Yeah that's for fucking
Badass
Beards
The best reflexes you've ever seen
chess
pretty sick
you've got to be smart to be good at chess
you've got to be smart
well you've got to be patient and
you know you've got to do
practice and
you've got to eat really good pasta
I got to eat broccoli as well
loads of
yeah if you don't make all the food
if you don't fucking pick that
goddamn rice yourself whatever the fuck they do
rice.
You don't press
those olives to make that olive oil
yourself.
What the fuck you're doing?
If you're not drinking at least
six gallons of milk.
I think, I feel like
all I've done, you just really
railed on this guy.
Sorry.
If you're having a stressful
day, okay.
Alex Sandgren has one for you,
Jim.
How is Bill?
Billy doing?
Oh boy.
Okay.
Uh...
How is Billy doing?
Hmm.
So...
Just a question to be about poo if you'd find it easier.
Yeah, how's poo doing?
I...
How is Billy pooing?
Billy pooing?
Uh...
honestly i don't know i i allow her to just roam and she goes to the neighbor's gardens and she
shits in their garden so how is billy uh yeah yeah i mean you know what's to say when when things are uh
sort of going in a way that sort of keep consistency sort of, you know, in positivity sort of thing.
Mr. Tenma has one for us.
After James completes an hours-long orgy with ten of the hottest animated mum's,
Marge Simpson comes back
For more
I think this is it
This might be the worst question I've ever read
Um
Marge Simpson comes back for more
of James's magic willy
However
However one more pelvic thrust
Would shatter James's bones
one of the remaining jar boys
must sacrifice himself
and take the place of the Martian
Milf Hunter for one
night to save James's life
which one is the worthiest successor
Ruben
Why
All in favour of Rubin
Say aye
Oh what
i don't want to do this on the same um topic actually skinny and humble left on saying hi babblers i drive a nissan micro does this qualify as a milfmobile yeah what is the milfiest car about i reckon a vauxhall mariva has more milf energy
milfiest car what's the milfiest car jane the milpiest car well okay how how are we defining a milf car like what about a car
Toyota Yaris, 2004.
No, your car is not a milf car, Jamie.
Fuck you. Why the fuck not? Tell me why not. Tell me why not, right fucking now.
Is it gotta be a car that's driven by milfs?
Or a car that is a milk?
It could be.
Okay, well then it's the fucking, uh, hang on.
The milfiest car.
Okay, if you google milk car.
It's the Rangerover Vogue. Rangerover Vogue. That's a milk car.
Yeah, that is a milf car.
Yeah.
Okay Google, thanks for telling me what milf car is.
Yeah, so is a Nissan Micro a milfmobile?
Um, it depends what Nissan Micra? There's loads of different one.
Oh no, not the Vogue, wrong one. Oh, what's it called?
Stupid a looking Ranger over.
Do you need the Evoke?
Is that what it's called?
The Evoke, yes.
Is that the one designed by, or was part designed by
fucking Victoria Beckham.
Yes, the Evoke.
That's what I meant, sorry.
That's the one I meant.
That's the one I meant.
But you would also, I think there's any rangerover, you could expect a certain level of milf to it.
Yes.
But the evoke, definitely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And there's one parked in my street and I fucking hate it.
Hmm.
I saw in all a hot pink fucking Vogue, actually, today.
No, no, we're missing something.
The Fiat 500.
Yeah, but Fier 500s are also dominated by just like
Sixth Formers who have passed their tests, hairdresses,
just anyone between the age of 17 and 29.
Milfs?
What?
What?
That is the milf car, come on.
It's a Fiat 500.
No, you need.
know that's true like we've got considered like is this milf's in their prime or like
milks before they are milf before they are a milf I don't know about this so every
mother before they're a mother every female stick him up as a as a
fucked up one for us.
Nissan Micah is a milkmobile.
Howdy Jar,
on another episode, the subject of wiping
your ass standing up or sitting down
was brought up.
James and Rubin said that they both wiped sitting
whilst Alex and Jamie said that they
did it standing.
No, wrong.
Wrong.
Wait, what?
Turns out it's not normal.
It's about a 60 to 40%
ratio. Anyway.
Wait, hang on, which one is six?
No, I'm pretty sure.
60 sitting.
Me, we've been saying.
Yes, you just lean a bit forwards, don't you?
Yeah, and then you might not stand up, you just lean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Alex said that you try sitting down for a week.
So to Alex, did you ever try wiping your ass like a normal person, also thoughts on the overall subject?
Yeah, ever since that question, I shifted to being a sit downer, especially combined with the stool.
You mean a tilter?
it's not sit down there
no call them a tipper
I think tip is the word
A tipper yes
A tipper
Yeah do you tip or do you sit
Well I've got the stool
No it's not tipping or setting
It's tipping or standing
It's a tip sitter or a stand
I'm in the middle
I'm in the middle because the stool
changes the whole dynamic
No I don't get how
No you're you actually
owns a stool like that to take shit
Me
only you
I just
I've genuine
ever since getting that stool
I've never had a problem
shitting
I just sit on the toilet
if it's that bad
I've never had a problem
problem shitting
and I don't earn a stool
what does that say
I mean if you have
the stool actually
is very useful for
um
like you know when you shit
and you get a bit
a shit sort of like
stuck on on your ass
and it makes the whole wiping process
like you know
kind of messy as fat
yeah the stool
I found would often stop that
because the shit
because of the angle you're at there'd be so much just like force just a natural angle just a natural
i mean it's not hugely natural in that like i suppose it is it's just sort of kind of like
because of toilets you know we don't really yeah that's what the stool is adjusting for
we're not really shitting into a ditch anymore you know or just shitting onto the grass anymore so
yeah yeah stool the stool the stool is good for stool you know
Jay Chadwick has one. Question for Alex.
Wait, wait. Wait.
Oh. I didn't get to give my opinion.
Okay, what's your opinion on that?
Because I'm still a stander.
Okay, no, explain. Do you actually stand all the way up, back completely straight and wipe your ass?
No.
Then that's, then you're...
So do you come...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
So, James, you lift your ass from the seat.
I tip.
Oh, I tip forwards.
Like, my, like, underside of my legs, like my thighs and I guess to an extent.
on my hair shit. It's still there because I'm tipping
forwards on one side mostly like I'm leaning
forwards, you know, sort of angle more towards
my left to raise the right
side, you know? Yeah, that's how you do
it. No, I'm going to teach you go to something
fucking mind-blowing. I don't want to
hear it. You raise your entire
right leg so high
you, like you need a
so it. Like a cat.
In my space,
the toilet and then
there's a bath to the
right i i lift my foot up onto the bath my right foot up onto the bar so up
no this is fucking wriggle man this is the fucking truth man
onto the bus she's shit no so i have the most of the bread out of all you
i fucking this is post shit obviously you don't fall into 60 or you're not in the 60 or the 40
you're just fucking doing your own thing
No, because I'm fucking anti-Greek think bullshit.
No, listen, you lift your foot up onto the bath.
Like, at least that level, so, I don't know,
three quarters of your leg height.
Maybe not that much.
You know what? I've had enough of this now.
No, you lift your foot up.
You can use the toilet seat to pick your foot on.
I want to move on.
Do you know why this has failed?
Not every toilet is near a fucking bathtub.
It doesn't have to be near a bathtub.
Then how do you do it?
You can raise that.
You can raise your foot up to the sink.
You can put your foot up on the sink if need be.
Well, but if there's not a sink.
Who the fuck doesn't have a sink in their fucking shit or?
It might not be in position to put your foot on while taking a shit.
Well, no, you stand up and you fucking put your foot up where it needs to be.
you stand all the way up and then put your...
Well, no, you sort of do the squat, squat and drops.
You like squat and then you...
You have to manoeuvre over to where you need to be.
You're...
No, what...
How shitty is your asshole?
Are you wiping your shit?
Not above the toilet.
What do you mean?
Yeah, the way you described this is just fucking confused me, though.
No.
If you're taking a shit, if you're taking your shit, the likelihood is you can wash your hands while taking a shit.
I can't.
That's how close the sink is.
No, not in my house.
Then you have a poorly designed bathroom.
The majority of bathroom then.
Wash your hands while taking a shit.
I'm not saying that's what you do, but I'm saying if you needed to, you could.
No, okay, but how?
You haven't explained how you shit.
You've just talked for us wading your leg.
No, it was never about how.
you shit it's about how you wipe yeah but how do you what this makes no sense to me you stand
up you you you you stand all the way up now you raise one leg do you stand up so high so that
you're on the bath no because then you're not getting any any like touching you know
okay okay i'm gonna try and do this while we talk so i'm like i'm sat on my chair taking it
I've done a shit.
Yeah, so you take a shit.
I've raised my leg up to my desk high, which is probably a bit, a bit higher than a bar.
Yeah, so you're sort of in an uneven squat.
One leg is like...
High up, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Straight and one leg is bent.
Can, okay, no, the viewers, can you go along with this,
just so that you understand this is when I understand it.
Okay, so I've done that.
Yeah, then you wipe.
But it's not a wipe.
You don't go.
front to back or back to front
you've got to lean then you've got to lean then
you've got to lean to the side
no you lean no matter what
no matter what you do
my legs up and I'm normal
I can't wipe like this
yes you can't
I can't walk like this
you're fucking done with this wiping bullshit
if I wanted to wipe I've got to tilt to the left
and then wipe I've got a clear path
to wipe my ass
it's never been about like either you sit
or you stand
like straight
that was never the case
you're fucking weird
bro
why would you wipe
in the fucking real life man
no you're the only person
he fucking wipes like this
and
what the fuck is the problem with me
living the way I want to live
is it in it's not efficient
you just tilt and you're done
well I have a question for you James
I'm curious of your response to from a rip flude who says mostly curious about James's answers
specifically since he's the most controversial foodie on the cast it's not true
discounting chips and crisps because they are typically eaten pre-prepared what is the best way
to prepare potatoes oil them mash them stick them in a stick them in a stiff
Stick them in some
Poof
Depends what I'm going to have to
rip it with
If I'm going to make some chips
You leave the skin on
You don't peel them
Leave the skin on
You just cut them up
You know
So you got those nice
fucking organic
Chip
The last time you made chips
I have never made chips
What I do
If I were
You are who
American from earlier
Was addressing
you are what he thinks
everyone is
no I cook things
you admitted to cooking a fucking
pasta ready meal
that's because my
my parents have gone on holiday
and that's what they bought to
feed me
so you
just think about how ridiculous
that sounds
it sounds ridiculous I
you are a 24 year old man
my parents left me
food to feed me
no no I know
let's get it strange
You have money
You could just buy dinner for yourself
I could but I pay went
So I'm going to get the fucking rent my
money's worth
But when my mum asked me like
James what do you want for dinner
I said just buy me vegetables
I can make something
And then they just bought me these fucking
Ready mills
I didn't ask for it
I asked for ingredients
To cook
Vegetables ready meals
same amount of syllables probably
James will have been like
just buy me some
verdict and the element
that is ready meals
see very clever James
very clever
I can actually cook for myself
I do I mainly cook for myself
every day
I just don't make fucking pasta
by myself
you know I know I wants to make
the fucking pasta from scratch
you do all the other bullshit
yeah that's easy
just not fucking pasta
well not the passata
I'll just fucking buy that
but yeah
They ain't got infinite time.
No, you guys answered the question, because I have.
What was the question?
Bait, prepare potatoes.
Oh.
What's the best way?
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, what the fuck was the question?
What I don't do?
Not baked.
Baked sucks.
Um, yeah, baked is only good if you just really want to eat, like, beans and cheese, but you don't have toast.
No, beans.
Beans.
Tuna, mayonnaise, cheese, um...
Fuck you.
Assholes that don't fucking like beans.
Fuck you, asshole.
Name one culture that don't eat beans.
What beans do you mean?
Who are you attacking it?
No one said anything about it.
People have talked about beans for a long time.
And I'm fucking tired of it.
You remember these weird pancakes?
bean things I'd make.
What?
What are they good?
A ball.
You're like drain a can of beans.
Get all the tomato juice out of them.
I've washed them with water.
Squash them down.
It's just a fritter.
It's just a harrow of bean fritter.
Yeah, do some garlic, some onion.
I mean, what, Heinz beans?
I don't really care for the tomato sauce on beans.
Like, there's always too much of it.
No, no, if you have beans on toast, the tomato juice is...
I actually drain some of it off.
I actually drain a bit off, just because there's quite a lot.
That's a fucking cake.
No, that's because I get shit beans.
I get fucking cheapo Tesco beans.
That's what you're going wrong.
Well, I ain't made a money, bitch.
You want to buy my beans?
beans?
I can't buy your own beans
I can start buying your own beans.
You can start buying your own beans.
I can start saving the source
from the bores
I make.
Wait, when have you ever done that
made bean fritters?
I used to always do it.
Yeah, bores.
I mean, I never saw him do it, but everyone talks about it.
Oh, shit.
This is a thing that I was just, I thought that's just.
Yeah, because I learned it off my dad when he was entertaining his vegan friend,
and he was having to, like, come up with something to make.
Bors.
It was delicious, whatever it was he made.
No, fritters are yummy, but you do that shit with, like, spinach and...
Fucking anything.
Just try it.
Pizza or something, not fucking balls.
with
pee or something
you know
just pee everywhere
you're fucking piss and shit
mate
we've got a
there's two more questions
I want to do
and this one is the
hypothetical
it's used earlier
um
from eat sleep
anime
I was hoping to settle
a debate
I've had with my friends
we're not the people
to come to
in that situation
yes we are
it is when this is the question
Who would win an infinite number of lions or the sun?
What would win?
Listen, I'm not done reading.
The lions are being endlessly shot towards the sun
and cannot survive in space.
My theory is that the lions would keep burning up.
burning up, however, because they are infinite, they will simply outlive the sun.
Cheers, boss.
Yeah.
He's fucking right.
He's right.
They would win.
Yeah, they weren't.
I mean, I just thought they win in this world on that.
Then the question is, because won't our some become a white dwarf or some shit?
Yeah, yeah, I'll become a white dwarf.
It's not, it's not bigger.
Yeah, it's not becoming a white dwarf.
lion yeah it don't got the mass to become a black hole if you send a lion to an albino
sun then the lion ain't winning yeah the white dwarf or like they would they would
definitely in fact yeah because they wouldn't actually get close enough to do anything to the to the
star's mass or anything like that so i yeah i think infinite infinite lions in infinite
time. I think
you'd actually just give the sun
power. Well actually
the white dwarf will eventually cool
and become a brown
well it just become a nothing, it's like a rock
and at the end of it all, not a rock, but at the end
of it all, it's just dead, it's just
nothing, it just cools and that's it.
So then it'll just be
loads of lions around.
No, but if you're, if it, think about this, if it's
infinite time, infinite lions,
you're giving it infinite mass.
But it won't get
It won't ever assimilate because it will be destroyed.
The lions will be destroyed long before they get into the start.
But because of gravity, like even the mass that makes up a lion.
Oh, it will join it in like.
Every lion becomes a part of the sun.
Yeah.
So I think the sun wins.
I think the sun, the sun becomes a black hole because of the lions.
Yeah.
If it is infinite time and infinite lion.
I'm confused
That's actually
Oh my God
Yeah the star would
Would gain mass from the infinite lions
And then it would
It would become eventually
A match is the biggest star
Like if you kept firing infinite lions
Over an infinite period of time
Provided nothing else
Interrupts that process
The infinite lions would surely make that
The biggest black hole
A star whatever in the fucking universe
Because of infinite lions
From my understanding
How many lions are being
fired per second.
No matter what it is, lions can't win.
The lions can't win, no.
I just want to know like how,
whether the star would, how long it would win for, you know?
Well, you ain't lying about that one.
Oh, fuck you.
That was a good one, wasn't it?
Let's end on this one from a son of Julius Caesar.
Hello Jah. I was wondering if any of you could relate to a feeling I've come about recently.
The end of my semester in university is just around the corner and I've just, and I've felt the
untamed urge to go on a vacation deep out into the forest. It's as if the primate brain that
rest deep inside of me is calling out to be let free. All I want to do is go on a hike and climb up
trees. This isn't the first time I felt this call of the wild, and I think it has to do with
some innate need in humans to be one with nature thoughts when was the last time you
climbed a tree did you call it an innate need when the only reason you could express it as being
an innate need is because we're not one with nature at all times now but is it was it not
in our nature to make shit the way we did
climbing tree epic though
I've heard that
just to like go away
sometimes just look at some shit that's not
what they see all the time
apparently
looking at
like plants and shit
makes people happier
I like looking at plants
so
yeah
it's just a human thing to just
enjoy
shit
to enjoy shit
well like natural
do we have a podcast for you
sorry continue
please
I was done
oh
well I mean
I can't say
I don't not feel this way
I think everyone
has like a part of them
that says
I would just love to
go and live in a
crack shack
see I never
I never go to wanting to climb trees
I just picture more like
you know where Thanos goes when he's like
yeah yeah yeah you know
yeah like a nice picturesque location
with the yeah it looks like a screen saver
with the background
with the you know the
cascading here
hills and everything.
Yeah, that I'm down with.
I don't know if I need to necessarily climb trees
right now.
Yeah, like, what are you a chimp?
Yeah.
Yes.
I mean, with that, that's another one for the books,
lads.
Anyone have any final words?
No.
No, gooning tips or anything?
Reuben had, like, a monologue.
I think he'd written.
Oh, the epic monologue.
Yeah, the epilogue monologue.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Give me a sec.
Good afternoon.
I see it.
There's two types of people.
Those who spend their lives trying to build the future.
Okay, that's it.
Cringe.
Toy Cringe.
For too long, I've been stuck in between, hidden in the dark.
That's it, cringe.
cringe and and the cast
don't have even finish
okay well we're going to keep going
there's a bit more to it
you was trying to buy
more sand for his hourglass
I wasn't selling any
