JAR Media Posdact - The Group YET To Come Together - JARCast Episode 356

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 09:10 Housekeeping 15:04 Kung Fu Panda 4, Chicken Little and The Wild 34:16 Mid Break 38:49 Question Segment: Mousekeeping? 45:58 Dead Internet Theory 53:02 Fond Memories, Ruined 55:06 Degree 6 Zoo 59:31 Scorpian or Tarantula 1:03:14 Blue Sky Pictures 1:07:08 Bonus Moments

Fuck, that was like the best clap you've ever done. Wow. It felt like a flashback. Yeah, did that open your ear? Yeah, I've actually put here. Holy sheesh. Yeah. Well, good afternoon, morning, evening or night.

Ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to episode 356 of the Jha, Jha, Jat, Jha, Jha, Jha, Media Podcast. I am not your. your host, Jamie, joined by my not-either host, James, who just waved and quietly said, yep, he said he's not the host. But my to my right is host. I wish I had like a big curtain. Like to open and everyone goes, yeah, woo. And then you put in the claps like the good old days. Yeah, that was good.

Those were the good old days. That was that awesome intro where you green screened going sitting down. Yeah, that was fire. yeah with the applause as well really cool well as one of those pop stars said we live for the applause we do so everyone at home listening at the end of this episode i want a big round of applause yeah give us loads of like attention and um compliments be nice to us but like actual physical applause yeah in your home or on the bus or wherever you're listening we need it in front of your Is a ghibit something or is a goblit something or is a goblit something or they're both something?

Giblets like the bits of chicken aren't they that you don't? Oh, jiblet. Yeah. But giblet. Is that spoke with a J or a G? Both. It turns when you're from. Right.

When and where you're from. Ghiblets and why. Well, if enough people say giblets instead of giblets for long enough, then the dictionary will change. Giblets. Not true. it's the whole jiff giff thing isn't it no because there's a correct answer there man yeah there is a correct answer and it's not the one

the creative things agreed I agree with you on that just gif yeah jiff maybe he's French which is like enough reason to instantly like devalitate fun fact

while we're on the topic of French the letter g turns up in zero words in the French language and do you know what g stands for good yeah because there's a total lack of goodness in france that's not true though that is not true i'll be on the side of the french here they have the south south coast and that is actually like a really nice part of France

this is one of those things where like i see the jar emigraphics right so i see who the listeners are like where they are in the world I don't feel any guilt about talking bad about France because there's no French listeners So who don't know We've purged them over the years There's certainly no French No there was

I'm pretty sure some jarling said that they are French isn't There'll be one or two will come crawling out of the woodwork Right now because they're saying it Yeah Otherwise I think I think they're using a VPN to say that in England or Germany So because they're too ashamed of

Yeah Yeah it's mostly Americans Australians, Canadians, Brits, obviously. Maybe there's something binding all that together. The English language. Yeah.

Yeah, we're going to start paying for full-time Bibliu-Utackers. A-A-I-dubbing. We're going to AI-dub every other language. Oh, that's not a bad idea. Cancel those jobs. We were going to employ hundreds of people

to start a whole new ecosystem. I opened a YouTube short or whatever while I was doing a poop. and it was an AI voice of Steve Carell like introducing it and then it changed to a different celebrity AI voice and I'm like this is... See I got an advert the other day

of who's the giant buff dude in like crackdown and 99 Brooklyn Drive Crackdown? Terry Cruz Terry Cruz Oh yeah it wasn't crackdown It was this advert and it was Terry Cruz that was like

All right guys I'm going to let you in this secret um youtube money-making scheme you just need to follow the link that and it was all terry cruz saying it with like his face was on it and everything like poorly lip-sinked with the stuff this robot terry cruz was saying and they were using terry cruz's voice and likeness to sell a scam about making money on youtube and it was a crazy like an official advert i've seen one of those with joe rogan it's like there's loads of jrude i just found a fix for snoring. It's one of these. Yeah. That's all

like very cheekily edited. But before we get too deep into the show, let's shout out those jar media patrons over at Patreon. We make the audio version of the show possible and get their names read out in the first or second week. Each and every month, you would have missed the

December's one because we did that last episode. But there's always next month, and then the month after that. And there will be a delay on the one for January as well. Yeah. We're doing a little bit of bulk record because it is the festive season. It is the festive season and I think we're all feeling a little bit festively plump, a little bit festively tired. You know, I'm not festively plump or I'm excited for the festivity. Every year in summer I'm like, man, healthy eating is so easy.

I love healthy eating. I'm just starting to like lean into that now and just like, you know what, winter, just be tubby. Yeah, yeah. Because then winter comes around and I'm like, just the one pack of gummies, just these 10 packs of snakes. I just want to be outside less, whereas I want to be outside more when they're sun. Yeah. I will say there's more to it than that because obviously we live in a capitalist society. The varieties of chalky, you know, biscuits. We like our confectionary here.

It goes insane. And when you, you know, where I work, there's always my chocolate or something going around. Yeah. So there's no point even attempting to eat good. Just, you have to... You have lower energy because it gets to like three o'clock and it starts getting dark. You're like, well... I guess I'll just eat some yummy chalky and get all warm and not move.

How about that? Like, would you, talking about that, would you like to tell the viewers and the listeners? What happened to the west of the KFC bucket full of gummies? Oh man. So we, to fill that the KFC bucket that was featured in the sleepy episode last week, to do, to fulfill this worm idea we needed to buy, 10 bags of worms Which probably sounds like nothing to Americans

Because you can probably get like a bag of gummy worms There's like a kilo gram They probably come in a bucket already But that's how many we have to buy to fill that bucket And like, as I say on the nutritional facts Like a bag is usually You're saying 60 to 70 grams of sugar per bag Wuff, that's probably a Wuffing

And I estimated on the day of recording Five bags are eaten Between us three which is a bag and a half each It's quite good Yeah No, I guess just over the next two days. I just ate them all. You said it was one day.

I ate most of them, but then they were enough for like a little handful, you know, on that last day. And they were getting a bit stale by then. Do they go stale? I didn't expect it. Like, normally they're so like glistening and juicy, you know, when they've been out. They're dried and kind of like getting a little bit dry. With an in a goo. No film.

No, in a goo. No in a goo, not for them. How did you feel? How did you feel? It felt awful, obviously. just a horrendous amount of sugar but yeah because I think I did mention

I thought when we were cool according what I'd eaten that day and it was like shit from start to finish was just like cakes brownies pancakes just garbage I got home after doing jar

Well you also ate half a cake Yeah after eating the gummy worms as well And then I got home And it was just like Got into bed at 9 o'clock And it was like I'm gonna die I can't exist

I feel like my buddy's shutting down one by one and I just I hit a wool so severe it literally sent me from fully awake to sleep in like two minutes well maybe that's the strap if you're struggling with sleep overload on the worms it was a poisonous concoction because it's like coffee swirling with kFC swirling with gummy worms swirling with cake swollen pastry pancakes yeah yeah how is your bowel supposed to turn that into like a somewhat pleasant hmm There's none. There's no, there's no pleasant truth.

Because of that extremities, there was no, there was no poo. But speaking of that previous episode. It was locked in. That previous episode, the sleepy episode. People liked it, man. Really? Because some, we can address some of the feedback in the housekeeping segment. We round out for those conversations from the previous episode, like this one from

Johnny Stevens, 1248. Already can tell this will be a classic to which Morgan, Freeman 2102 replied saying Snuggle Brothers better than normal episodes saying it now. Wow. I agree. Did they say that before or after watching it? I don't know, man. That's a good question.

Because like I think it's inherently like more likable, you know, when you look at the thumbnail, when you look at the name, when you look at like the first part of the video, you see what's going on. Yeah. That's a more enjoyable, immediate, like. Is there something to be said about? I don't know. Cuddling. Sometimes the cuddling, but also just the environment. Yeah, sometimes, it's not like we planned anything out, really.

No, we just lay down and see what kind of cuddly antics appears. Yeah, it totally changes the tone and your behavior when you're lying in bird. Mm-hmm. You know? Completely. You get that. I'm more comfortable. You know, because you're almost more.

It was very comfortable. You're almost more vulnerable. you're almost not because you're in a blanket. So any emotions you have are like instantly validated and people can't judge you because you're in a blanket. Yeah, you're snuggled up. And like you stay focused on what you're talking about because you're just like staring it in space

and to like the ceiling. You don't have to like look at people or see all the lights and stuff that's going on. But it's, I would, if I had to choose that as the main, the main format of child going forward, I would. But I know it devalue it. that's the thing it does have a certain panache

it's like a novelty allure being on that one episode and there's always other gimmicks we can try we have to we have to kind of expand on the bed one and we have to do it we still want to do the true upside down one we just really actually do it

like a purple from like yeah yeah duct tape the whole set to the ceiling just duct up like one of us to the wall with the mic on it well there's that famous image of the gamers who duct tape that guy to the ceiling. Let's see that.

Let's see it, Counterstrike, um, land pie. Yeah, yeah. Legendary. God, I must have to use so much. If they can do it back in 2000. No, but which one of us would get chosen to do, to be the... I reckon you. Why me?

It would require the least duct tape. You're the lightest. Yeah, it's just so it goes by weight, I guess. See, that's quite mean. Why is that mean? It's not my fault on the lightest. I've got the fat as nuts, though. That may be.

That's not even true. You refuse to, you refuse to prove it, so. Well, these other jarlings didn't refuse to prove it with their comments, like this one for miniature Ranny. Snuggle cast was a rousing success. Don't bore me down to my horse and cart brother. It was an all-time James quote for the ages. Good work, Jha.

Cohen Bezeg said, glad to see stuff like this in the age of wokeness. Nice. And then there were a couple comments that I wanted to address. and it was something I had to do it was an executive decision I felt I had to make because there are a few little details

right what you can be so you got the ash you got the coffee ash but yeah we can introduce this from Jack's Kangaroo do you need some more to have this thank you

yeah Jack's Kangaroo says Fantastic episode boys next time told James to put some pants on and Vishal Keller Charan 771 and I said dude What the WTF are you not wearing any underwear So I was I was wearing

I was wearing Alex's booty shorts Yeah James and I had to put like shorts on Because that duvet is like not my regular duvet It's like my backup like extra warm Like really thick duvet So James was doing the classic stick one leg out to cool down technique but of course it was like such a high camera quite a like vulnerable angle

that showed the inner fire going down to the golden yeah so I made the executive decision to put a censored bar over the worst of it but there was nothing you couldn't actually see anything you couldn't actually see anything but I just felt like my sussie fights were yeah James's dignity for this one hey um but people were asking that hey just when you put the uncensored version of

about the Patreon, which I could do. It's James was. It's kind of a miracle there was no slippage. Yeah, because of course I went through, edited the whole thing, there was no moment. Or anything could actually be seen. No, no, it was, came close, but there was no cigar, you know. Not yet.

And the same Jack's Kangaroo replied to their comments saying, The Worm Segment is the hardest I've laughed since designed with an island in mind. And I, what was the worm segment? Well, you get the worms out? Yeah, I thought we're just eating worms through the whole thing. No, it gets to a point and you're like, I've got some worms in a... Okay, I guess it was just a complete non-sequence. And the last comment I want to address is this one from Neutral Guide Double Zero.

I want to see the Madagascar prequel, where the Jar Boys parachute onto the island and turn into the skeleton king, Julian Pointer. who's the skeleton king do you remember they go to that plane and there's like skeleton ah yeah and uh speaking of madagascar that's kind of one of my topics not that not madagascar but something tangential to mad okay there's a couple of actually animated craziness going on right now because kung free panda four also has a trailer which has some controversy i don't know if you guys want to talk about but i'm more interest in talking about the wild right now okay the wild so and this randomly came up because of

the sardonicast i recorded um where i was a reminder of this film of the wild which is it looks like disney's madagascar but it came out a full year after madagascar so it had all the wind taken from its sales and was like a massive flop even though the budget was way higher and they spent all this on all this lighting tech and like trying to there was something there was something very wrong going on in the early 2000s with like early CG movies and TV

and it like it's aged so badly in a way that other stuff hasn't so the the worst and particularly Disney Disney's early animated early 3D animated stuff yeah yeah we're talking

chicken little wild like meet the robinson's and this kind of stuff where it's like repulsive to look at like actually like sickening to watch it looks like previs now yeah but also like not only are these issues with those films just in appearance

but like their scripts are dog shit like chicken little as like a screenplay not only is it the ugliest movie ever made but it's just poor it's abysmal beyond belief yeah it's like worse than illumination even i would say yeah maybe about that level or some of that shit no it's like yeah uh everyone knows the story of chicken little let's let's little mermaid this um oh but hang on chicken little is like what it's like a little tiny the sky's falling the sky's falling no it's not you dumb ass you're a conspiracy

theorist that's like the original thing yeah pretty much But it's like, no, when Disney gets it, it's like, nah, actually the sky really is falling and Chicken Little, he's correct. And also Chicken Little looks like Paisley. Oh my God. Another ugly character to liken to my dog. What's wrong with that dog?

She looks like all the worst things. Yeah. Why are you being mean to her now? She's your dog, or I thought you loved her. I do. I can make fun of how ugly she is there. Paisley. Paisley.

When I go and walks and, like, it's like this pristine environment. And it's like the golden hour and everything is amazing. And then I'm like, oh, Pace, come sit over here. I'm like just snapping all these pictures. And she just looks so fucked up. She looks like a pig. But she's a dog. She looks worse than a pig. Pigs are generally pretty cute. She looks like it's true actually. She looks like a monster or something. She looks like a cryptid. Yeah. She looks like she just crawled out of a bog. Yeah. Yeah, she does look, what do you call it? When something lives on land and amphibious. Yeah, she does look amphibious. It's like normally like, like with Argy, you have to like try to take a bad picture of him. No, absolutely true. Whereas Pais's the exact inverse, where like you have to really try to get a nice picture of her. Yeah.

Yeah, she's pretty ugly. Anyway, yeah, chicken little man. Chicken fucking... Yeah, that's a movie I can speak on. You know, like, it... It's distressing. It almost feels like, um... a family guy episode at points

because the amount of times the movie just stops to play a song for like five minutes because they don't like they were like we can't we can't make the movie long enough just put a song here, put a song there get another one in there there you didn't make it to the end

no it's too infuriating there's a part where there's this pig character called run horrible character design there's so much bad character design yeah that pig run he's like It's like they forgot he was a character in the movie for the first hour.

And then, like, in the last 20 minutes, they're like, oh, we've got to give run his, like, hero moment. He's like, he starts just singing, like, a pop song. He's, like, driving a car, but he's so, like, morbidly obese that he can't drive the car. So he's, like, half... He's, like, sticking his body in the window, driving with his, like, body flailing out the window.

And the ugly duck is, like, doing the pedals. And he does a big song and drives a car Like triumphantly I watched that scene like five or six times What those fuck? There's an actual one-em It's wiggling around Where did that come from?

He? No, I do, man Oh, look at it Oh Maybe he finally came out Where did that come from? You would have come from the plant? It was right by my head.

Maybe he's trying to get to you now, bro. Yeah, he's coming for me. Oh, Christ, like that. Ew! Oh, he's flailing, man. Kill it. No, put him back in. Worm is out.

Okay. I was thinking about that through the whole film I kept thinking like what if what if run like ate some chicken I need James to see run I guess pigs do eat everything though yeah they do they would eat chicken yeah but James I want you to tell me what you think of this character

design yeah my guy's huge that's one that's run yeah he looks like he's from those fucking mobile games to make your ass huge yeah he does he does

okay but that's not it though because there's the ugly duck then as well the ugly this might be the worst looking character from anything like it's frightening it's really scary and horrible

they gave a duck buck teeth dog don't have teeth man what are you doing that and then they look like they try to make her like cute and it's like the scariest thing you've ever seen is it is it just because of the early animation because like zoom zoom out and like get rid of her get rid of her yeah look there's

like a 2d version down there this yeah which like kind of works like that in a movie i mean i i i'm not a fan of the buck teeth on a beak something that ain't adding up yeah like if If the linework actually looked like this, it would be fine, and it would be, like, their forte, you know? Like, 2D animation? This one's pretty good. Now, where's Foxy-Loxy? Um, it's going to save that. Oh, God.

You're doing my good. That's going to be the thumbnail. That's a pretty good thumbnail, too. Yeah, this is some horror shit, man. But some of these characters, you can see, like, if they were designed in 2D, I can see it may be working. Yeah, yeah, uh, but it's like, it's similar with, like, Ice Age, you know? Like, Ice Age is a lot better than Chicken Little, but it's, it looks, like, awful now.

Yeah. Especially that baby. Oh my God, that baby. That baby is That baby is something else The Ice Age Baby Ice Age Baby But then it was making me go down

This whole rabbit hole on my head Of like oh my god This era of like animated film and TV Was so appalling You know Jimmy Neutron Yeah Jimmy Neutron

And these character designs It kind of Goes to Pixar's credit though Because That's the difference because, like, you can, there are parts where the animation in the Incredibles looks aged as far as texture. Yeah, yeah. But the quality of the animation and the expression and the storyboarding in it of everything, the action's still really good.

That can stand on its own. Yeah. It's like, if you take, if you took the exact movie, every frame of the Incredibles as it is now and just put another layer of, like, rendering over it, it would still be a great movie. That still is a great movie. But if you did that with Chicken Little, it would still be an awful film. You could have Chicken Little as like a gorgeous 2D animated movie. And like I was saying, that script is so, so poor. It's like, yeah.

There's no way to make it work. Whereas, like, Pixar, they were held up by their, like, good-ass ideas. Yeah, and, like, the worlds and stuff. No, but listen to how bad some of this stuff is, like, now in retrospect, like Ice Age. Fire. The Magic Roundabout. Polar Express. The Polar Express?

Amazing. No, bro. That's like the king of scary shit. Yeah, that's a terrifying movie. It's funny, man. I would say the Madagascar, the original one. Incredibly ugly film. Yeah.

You know? Mad ugly. Beowulf. Remember that? Oh my God, yeah. I kind of want to watch that film again because it's like really scary. Yeah, I better have that weird uncanny. Monster House.

What's Monster House? You don't see that one? That had some, like, weird. It's just that kind of monsters versus aliens, you know, like, where there was this obsession with, like, oh, CG means we just got to make it like realistic, hyper-realistic. We've got to get the fur, perfect. We've got to get that ambient occlusion, you know?

Yeah, get the broochist in there. Yeah, well, this, like, annoying stuff that's like, you're just missing the forest for the trees. The whole point of this, man. But, so say they say, say. But I barely said anything about the wild. but that's what it's so crazy is that the wild is so bad that it actually was making me appreciate Madagascar 1.

That's how bad it is. I thought you loved Madagascar 1. No, I've never gone to bat for 1. You didn't see anything. Well, there's the Penguins, of course. That's a big one. The formula for this shit doesn't make any sense. Penguins, awesome, but only when they're attached to these four, like, lame characters.

You're telling me Alex is lame. Yes. but they literally do they do the exact same thing as in Madagascar where the film opens and they're like in a zoo and the lion is the main character and he's got a son

and the sun gets like stolen in New York like it's the same as it's the same it's like the combination of Madagascar 1 and 2 you know interesting do you think the wild

inspired Madagascar 2 like wild copied Madagascar and then Madagascar no because Madagascar too copied the Lion King Oh Oh shit

Yeah But um It's so wrong To To the degree Where like in Madagascar Right It's not like genius or clever

Or anything really But it's like So it's so Basic starting point level Right There is some inherent drama to the main two characters being a lion and a zebra one's prey to once prey right yep the main two like equivalent like friendship main dynamic in the wild is the lion

and a squirrel right like a new york squirrel and eddie isard is there playing a koala they got eddie isard up in here you got eddie is at a british actor to play a koala, which only exists in one place, which is Australia. And it's like, okay, you just wanted Eddie Issa. But a Canada goose shows up, and they have all, like, Canadian accents. Right. So, so, I'll see, what do you, why, just get an Australian person? Americans typically can't tell the difference between Australian and English accents.

Or Scottish, or Irish, or Welsh, or, yeah, Kiwi or, yeah, any of that. Yeah. Yeah. But overall, pretty good film. I'd give this a solid 7 out of 10, and I'd say, Tatea kids, you'll have a walloping time. You'll have a wild time.

Sheesh. And now Disney should let me have pay money. They let me will pay more money. Are you allowed to be paid by Dreamworks to talk about Madagascar all the time and Disney to talk about the wild? You basically have to make your bed, and I've made my bed. I made my bed with the winner. the champs the champion of the weirdly competitive field of animal like a small group of animals

getting lost in the jungle movies yeah escaping new york and then winding up in a jungle oh man oh my god and yeah actually i just want to say this about coming through panda forks i'm upset yeah shoot i'm upset why are you upset first off they're doing like this is the Avengers end game of Concru Panda movies. Everyone is back. Kai Lang is back. I'm sure Gary Oldman Bird is back. Yeah. Right. There's something like the new villain who does look kind of cool is like a chameleon. Okay. Lizard thing. Um, right. Cool idea and I guess it will have some kind of ability or something to like bring back people. Does this mean Ugui's back? No, because

they already did that as well. Uguer was back to the previous one. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to leave Ugui where he is. But the worst part to me is like, okay, Poe's had his arc. He's had his hero's journey. He's a master at the end,

so now he has to go to be in the like master character. So he has to have like an underling, an apprentice. Who is Aquafina. Very annoying, like voice actor, actor, person. I haven't really, I've heard she's good in one or two things. I haven't seen these things. But the things I have seen her in, the Little Mermaid, um, that other one that sucks.

The full ring. Four ring. Oh, the, yeah, the curse of the dingle ring, whatever. You know, that Marvel movie. The Dingle Ring, yeah. Yeah. Whereas, you know, she was, I know, she kind of fit in there, to be honest. She, she fit in a bit too well, though, you know?

She's, like, too perfect for Marvel. It's like she escaped from a Marvel Lab. But yeah, she's like The Apprentice and the character design is one of my favorite things about those previous movies. And this one just looks like a super generic, like, furry-bate character. Like, what? I thought you were going with this whole kind of, like, really stylized, like, traditional. Chinese type thing and there's there's a part in the trailer where they like pick up a wanted poster with the Aquafina character on it and it's like stylized it's like oh that's kind of a cool design but the way they translated that into 3D is like lame boring chicken licking type style maybe I've not seen the trailer so I can't I can't speak on it um but I do have a question her name is Aquafina Who the fuck knows, bro?

I can't keep up with life no more. Is she a Marvel Water superhero? What's her name? Aquafina. Is that like two names? Aquafina? Or is she like Drake? She's an American actress and rapper.

She's a rapper? Yeah, that's where she does that awesome rap in The Little Mermaid. Oh, it's the Scuttle Bight! Pretty funny, man. She was in Jumanji? Nice. Chang Chi Oh right

Nora Lum Known professionally as Aquafino So she is like Drake Yeah So I guess yeah That's her stage name Or whatever Let's go

Nice Nice We got Drake So we pretty much have Drake In the new Well Drake was in Ice Age Yeah and Nicky Minaj Yeah

Hey Nicky Minaj Get over here huh Awesome Awesome movie So yeah, I'm trepidacious about that Something should just be left to bed Maybe make a new thing Yeah, I mean

Kung Fu Panda died at Kung Fu Panda 3 in my opinion Agreed That shit kind of shit all over my chest Reeked Agreed Fucking agreed Yeah, really wasn't happy with that movie Really let me down actually

Yeah You know, I was watching Because I watched Kung Fu Panda 2 And I was like wow kind of fire as fuck the whole way Watching Kung Fu Panda 3 I'm halfway in and I'm like I could stop watching right now I've got a feeling

Kung Fu Panda 4 is going to be like More like 3 Even more More like 3 than 3 Where I'm going to get like 10 minutes in and be like Nah I'm not feeling it Two is a masterpiece Two is a masterpiece

It's so good I've watched it last year I think Masterpiece Maybe longer ago What a fun villain I think that's such a cool villain Yeah but also his His like story

pose arc Pose story into linking with the baddies and like his arc from there and yeah it's just like

man this is like this is better than Star Wars you know better than the Jedi are back or whatever Psy Bayreary

How would your sabre sound? What kind of cowboy would you pick? Beal. Boing, oing, oing, oing, o'ing. Buy your eye, right? Well, I guess you'll see after these Aquafinas. Yeah, get out of here. Go watch Aquafina's new collab with Drake.

Yeah. Bye, bear bear, bear. I do declare. I, bear bear. Bear Bear, shirts and mug available now. Check the description below. Yeah. Good afternoon, morning, evening,

on night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the second half of the Jarm Media podcast, episode 3, 100, and 50. Six. Nice. Do you ever, um, where we go to Reddit? We go to Reddit and we submit. We submit questions for you guys to ask at our slash,

jar media. What are you saying, Joe? Don't answer our questions, please. Surely the most, like, clout thing you can ever do is do a line of Coke off the world's most expensive cigar.

Yeah. Do you want to do that next episode? No. Fuck this guy, man. I'm just saying. Surely I'm not the only person to think this. Cigars do smell absolutely

delicious. They do smell really, nice. It's a shame. I haven't had one in a little while. They don't smell like my little shiggies. Shut up. Don't tempt me, man. Don't tempt me. I've got a little bit of a cold at the moment.

I have a sword for here. So my question for Reddit today is what do you do when you have a cold? How do you put it to the side and carry on? I'm going to throw it out to the community on this one. I'm going to have to ask my favourite Jarm Media fan. Um Um

You can't really do anything What do you mean Probably got long COVID Given that you've had it I don't have COVID Long C Yeah we can't say that Alex beep

Beep Why would you have a cold this long then Why'd you be ill this long My favorite Jail fan is a clopper 1558 Yeah I'm trying to I'm still trying to remember I know

dream awful 2142 Tony O's Weld That dream awful 2142 always has just stuck in my mind

Miniature Rownies I think they've unsubscribed though Oh fuck So yeah Can't say that anymore Beep Dream Offal 2142 My favourite is

The Irish person Whose name I've mispronance For fucking Every episode basically We got a letter We got a letter And he called me out

specifically and I happen to be the one to open it so um sorry mate when do you start saying mate well we all say hello mate I never say mate I there was a point where I felt like I needed I made the conscious effort to adopt mate mm did it work I think I think British people have a problem with sounding cold already especially when you have a voice like ours too so I was trying to take a little bit of inspiration from my father's side of the family. I wasn't thinking about it like Brits. I was thinking about like Kiwis.

They say good day, mate, you know. Good day, mate. But obviously I can't be saying that unless I, you know. Unless you've got to earn it, you know. Right, yeah, you need to adopt a whole other accent. Exactly. You need the rest to fill in around it. Although I do, I wish I could do that, like code switch between British.

accent and Kiwi accent seamlessly I mean I could like I reckon one month in New Zealand I could do it um wow wow wow it's a certain word that doubt always said beer are you saying beer or are you saying bear could be either don't matter could be either I mean you're sweet well I mean, no, you're... Call of Duty black. Jarm media... No.

No. Beep, beat, beat. Ha ha ha ha. You already introduced it, anyway. What, the Jail Media, whether, et cetera, didn't sure. Yeah. We got some good ones here,

so make sure you head over to the suggestions thread over there. No update on FNAF right now. I slash FNAF. Has it been canceled? It was closed, but I think it might be open again? Let's go. Not sure.

Who knows? Um, but Carty Lover, 84. it's gonna get this going here with the jar boys ever consider getting a pet mouse each and then create a new segment called mousekeeping that's not a bad idea

I can't have mice though only if we could like mutate them and do experiments on you get spare ears for James hey can we not talk about me this is like an actual traumatic thing what is my ear your ear

yeah oh because of the growing ears on that mice thing yeah the Jim just referenced that and I said let's not not talk about my ear. What about mice? Well, I don't really want to keep a mice.

Really? We can stay here. Just let it loose and if I get annoyed, just let Billy have it. That is quite fucked up. You can't make that work, can you? You can. If your mouse is loose, then you are letting Billy have it. That's what I'm saying, yeah.

Oops, I left the cage open. That's pretty fucked up, man. It's really messed up. So surely you need to start treating Paisi that way. If you leave the front door open, she goes. I did. And if Billy wanted to kill and eat Paisley, I just would have had to accept that.

But luckily that didn't happen. Am I right? Do you think you could buy any rodent and just have Billy get along with it? Like not counting like a rabbit. But Cabi Barra? What about when their marmots always be, you know? Yeah, fronting up.

Yeah, they're quite intimidating. You gotta roll your shoulders forward a little bit more. Yeah. It's threatening, they have a threatening, like, stance. Despite how small they are, and there's all those, like, videos of, like... It's just some, like, random Asian guy in, like, a field where he knows they are, and he just goes up to him, he's, like, pushing him. They're just like... Yeah, they always do that.

Yeah. No more. Yeah. Stop! Then he whips out a little snack for him, and they're like, oh, right. then yeah I like them awesome little creatures they're I I would have like an overwhelming urge and this is like I wouldn't actually do this to people who want to say mean things about me but I'd want to like football pelt one you know

absolutely just yeah one of those intrusive thoughts you know yeah well you want to like really just there are a few animals I think that way across the okay yeah go down your list bro what animals that like you would never eviscerate in real life but like I like imagining that like you just they dream about yeah like a base urge to do it okay tell me tell me your list rats yeah I hard disagree that I think rats with like a um a loma you know what I like that movie I like he cast for the oh yeah yeah they're dead alive yeah I want to be like a room full of rats with law like a a an imagination like

Like daydream thing I'll often have is like imagining that we're in a world where like insects are massive. And it's like an alarm goes off because there's like a giant ant coming and everyone's got to get there like. In their bunkers. In their bunkers or get their like long sharp sticks or whatever. Oh, it's like a hunt. Yeah, because like you can't have this giant insect like walking around. You got to take it out. How giant are we talking?

Like pretty enormous but not too enormous where it's like. their ruling society we still have our space but we thought like a dog-sized ant would be a very big ant well much bigger than that I'm talking like would it be able to fit like through a front door elephant sized elephant size elephant size Jesus Christ you'd be like fighting mammoths you're fighting big ants you're hunting yeah although I think a big ant would have more protection quite armoured yeah if you scale it up yeah it's gonna have like big strong armor you'd have to like target weak points you'd have to yeah

Yeah. I often think about that is it was when I was reading about dragonflies, okay? Why? Because I think they're cool. And there was some fact about how they're like one of the most ruthless killers. But just because of how capable they are of navigating around, you know, they fly and they can just go like any direction like a helicopter. Yeah, well, with more accuracy than a helicopter. Yeah, more accuracy. And then like what is hanging down below is like little grabby claws. Yeah. Yeah, so you can just like rip shit apart.

And of course, they were enormous, millions, millions and millions of years ago. Yeah, but again, we're talking like dog-sized enormous. They weren't like the size of a bus. They weren't the size of the bus, but they were enormous. Enormous to the point where it would, like, probably make you feel quite weird if you saw it in person, you know? Like, really weird. Yeah, well, I mean, seeing a big hornet makes me feel weird. Yeah, it would be like that.

And it's like, even a dog-sized dragonfly. One of those in town is like, we've got to deal with this. I think there's a sweet spot with every living thing where if you make it like a specific size, within a specific size, it gets really scary. Dogs. It's like a little tiny spider, right? Cute. Yeah. Fat eyes.

Yeah, cute little fat eyes running around, like proportions as well. Yeah, help. A little jumping spiders. But then suddenly you increase it to like the size of my hand. Terrifying. Incredibly terrifying. But then when you go like dog sized, really scary. But then like bigger than dog size, for some reason, slightly less scary.

Yeah. As long as they're lumbering. Yeah. There's something about like a part of what makes insects scary is their ability to infiltrate. Yeah, to infiltrate. To be in a room with you without you knowing they're there. Yeah. that's all scared about snakes as well

yeah so like a giant snake like the size of a cool train yeah then it's kind of cool and not threatening yeah it's like fuck yeah but then snakes are never threatening they're just kind of cool they're incredibly threatening

I like snakes but it's like dogs are never are never horrifying no matter how big you make them look at a wolf XL bully yeah that's just yeah that's just scary look at all no wolf's wolves are i i didn't realize how big wolves yeah wolves are actually horrifying inside there's that

crazy ticot guy yeah yeah it wasn't until seeing his videos that i realized oh they're not just dogs no no no they're like these they are beasts that's like the mother nature like what they actually are and dogs are what we made them into yeah to make them coexistly we um we libtarded wolves we woke wolves they're the woke wolves The weak liberal wolves The weak liberal pug versus the strong conservative wolf Oblivious Humor 666 says Since you've all been on the internet for many years now

I'm interested in hearing your opinion on the dead internet theory To put it simply it proposes that in recent years around 2016-2017 The majority of internet traffic and activity has largely been populated by bots, automation and algorithms designed to emulate human activity with an aim to manipulate users into purchasing products or services from corporations. I personally believe the theory to be true to an extent in that the internet definitely feels a lot different to that, to how it did maybe 10 years ago. But the proposal that this is the work of one of several corporations working together to maliciously manipulate others does feel a bit over the top. We'd like to hear your thoughts on this since you touched upon similar things before. Also, I may have gotten some parts of the theory incorrect, but that's how I understand the theory to be.

And Smut-alt replied to that saying, can confirm, I'm a Russian bot made to instill gay and sinful thoughts. I don't think it matters. It's not if it matters, though. It's more just like, do you think there's some level of this going on? There's definitely some level of it. Yeah, it's obviously clear. If you look at Twitter now, bots are rampant with it. But realistically speaking, bots are nothing.

So they take up no space because they are nothing. thing. So, like, my day-to-day internet usage doesn't involve bots, so it doesn't make any difference if the... But how do you know, though? I guess that's what, like, the theory is saying. I don't talk to people. You don't need to, though, for, like, the algorithms to be influenced by this kind of thing. Well, do you think it's going to get to the point where, like, I mostly use the internet for content? Mm-hmm. YouTube videos. and like stuff on Amazon Prime and stuff. Yeah.

Do you think it's going to get to a point where like AI will be uploading YouTube videos? Eventually, probably. Well, like someone has told this AI to just create these types of videos. That's what Kweble Cop's whole thing was about? Basically, yeah. It's like an extreme, like, synthetic version of that, like, chase to figure out what the algorithm is.

like what is trending towards like there's all these like meta games or meta games or meta games or meta games with like getting engagement on social media um different styles of like thumbnails like trend in and out and like you know because currently it's like the mr beast like crazy overexposed like face with these like really high contrast colors yeah and then like a vehicle or some weird eye-catching trick in the background or something um And yeah, I definitely think, I don't know, packaging it all into like a theory or a conspiracy theory, too simple, too clean. Yeah. I feel like it's more, you've got to follow Arkham's razor and just go to the simplest explanations, often the true one in the, I mean, as James was saying earlier, like, all of this stuff is like profit motivated and what is more profitable than figure.

figuring out algorithms that are able to basically farm engagement to the maximum degree, and obviously we're better at doing that than we were 10 years ago. And the more we learn about our brains work and reward systems and ways to keep people scrolling, then I'm sure it will get more intense. And I don't know if that's like an agreed thing, all these mega companies being like, yeah, we want to control all of this. But it's also true that it's just a fact that there are bots. fuck everywhere Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, they're all absolutely sworn with them.

But yeah, I don't know if there's any... People just think everything's so, like, controlled. I think there's just way more chaos than that. I think it is, it's controlled, but not by an identifiable, like, figurehead. You know, it's not like corporations grouping together. It's that all corporations get rewarded by doing the same thing. Yeah. So they all do the same thing.

Yeah, and they'll be like... We saw with this, this tweak to the algorithm, we saw a 5% rise in this fucking metric. So we're going to start doing that now. And then they see engagement go up and then to be competitive, all these other companies start shifting their algorithms in certain ways. We've seen it. It's why every, no, like, social media has any identity anymore. They all have the same feature set. They all have the same things they do, basically.

Whereas they used to be a bit of distinction. Yeah, I noticed Spotify has, like, TikTok now. yeah yeah it's very weird it's very necessary everything has to be one thing and it's proof that we're going towards the the joined brain where we get to like all be connected and control robot

rhinos running through this instrumentality yeah I haven't heard it referred to as the dead internet theory before no interesting concept though no I think that name is one because when I think of the dead internet I think of like blade one and cyber internet Yeah, yeah.

Their whole core is based on... Like a big EMP. Yeah. An actual dead internet that you can't... Yeah. It's like lost to the ages, you know? Not just bots being... Yeah.

That'd be crazy if that happened in a lifetime some... I think it is. Some event like that that like wipes digital records. What would you do? What would you do if your new chance in life? Um... Would it be like... What would you do now?

Would it like reset all of credit and stuff? Yeah, what would you do now knowing that that could happen? Um, there's nothing. I think we can really do now. I feel like it would be chaos. I don't think it could happen though. I think you underestimate just how far technology is going to go. But there will be a point.

But nothing is stored in one place. Yeah, it's definitely not as simple as like Mr. Robot or Fight Club or any of these things. Yeah, yeah. You can't just like find one building and... Ah, this is where the internet is and then light on fire. It's... Maybe like coordinated EMPs over like certain server farm. or hubs or something

I don't know I don't even know how the internet works man she's crazy doesn't make sense it's all like radio waves right what like Wi-Fi

oh I see no I see you and you're like uploading and downloading and downloading information via radio waves I just picture like a brain million

million tendrils yeah well you need to get rid of the lines the lines at the bottom in the ocean to cut them and then you basically

destroy the insert but those lines are just like connecting but like yeah I don't know man it's crazy there's a lot of yeah

a lot coordination required to pull that one off hmm let's do this one from Zoe Zoz star bear bear mingers a midtime

listener first time commenter just wanted to share a little story with you. Just for context, I grew up in Scarborough, so naturally me and my friends spent a lot of our time at the seaside and formed a lot of good memories there. But now I'm living in Leeds and I haven't been home in a couple years and I can't deny that I'm really missing home in the sea. Fast forward to the other night when I was on a walk and I suddenly smelled very similar. It smelled very strongly of the beach we all used to hang out at and I

felt very nostalgic. Though as I kept walking, I realized that the source of the smell was an overflowing drain leak out of a mix of rainwater, rubbish and human shit. I then made the horrible realization that the beach we used to go to was likely a dumping spot of raw sewage. So, I hope, so how do I cope with the fact?

All those fond memories are now tainted by a miasma of human shit. Anyway, thanks for reading, boys, I know it was a bit of a long one. Big fan of the cast, Bear Bear. Bear. Um, I think it's probably a good thing that you've programmed yourself to respond to poo in a positive

way. Yeah, helpful. Pooh good. Baby. Pooh and we combined. Bird. Well, you'd have to probably look up the beach you were on

and 100% confirm it is indeed a poo site. I'd say keep moving forward. Yeah, I think... It would be poo and we though. Yeah, probably a little bit sick. sewage, some sick some vomit As long as you didn't go in it, you're fine

Yeah Oh, she went in it Might have tasted a bit When swimming in the ocean You're swishing your mouth Because you'd be like, oh this is just natural sea salt Hmm Yeah, it's good for my skin

The salty ocean smell We've got three more here guys Three more This one from Smutolt Imagine this You are a trash attracted to women, like you are now, emotionally and sexually, but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they look like.

They have only a pretty good idea from the fossils, however, but they do not exist anymore. That means not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women. to something else entirely. So in other words, you'll never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you've told about your attraction to women thinks it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it'll never get any better. That's what life is like to me.

I'm a degree six zoo sexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurus and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I'm cursed to live my life in this. misery that is the most powerful emotional fantasies will never even be close to coming true life is like hell to me I'll never know true love that was a ride I'm fucked up from the cool what's a degree five they said degree six zoo sexual if the match screens your goon set up involves yeah six six what's a degree one one screen degree seven Seven screens. It's like a one-to-one ratio, dude.

Or he's got the monitor at six degrees. Maybe. Well, I've seen... That's such a small amount of degree. I don't think it could be that. It might be. But how would you get to that place? If there was no women. Well, yeah, but I mean, like, hypothetically speaking, we're...

Engaging with the hypothetical. Yeah, we're like just creating humans. Just imagine there are like, goon machines. that people are just... Squared out as a... It's just a... It's a... Male-only society of, like, machines that just...

Machine women? They can't look like women or have any features of women. They're just walking... They're just like a flesh... Like, vending machine that you blow your load in. You're drafted to get your loads drawn. You walk in, the fleshlight just goes... Sucks you dry and then...

And then it like births a little baby boy. yeah yeah and that little baby boy is you in this universe um and you would be gay you know how can you be attracted to something that you never knew existed surely if you're getting blasted up by the machines you wouldn't be gay you'd just be a robosexual yeah you'd just be attracted to the machine that sucks you try yeah that's true but does that mean the degrees six zoo sexual in our world the is real when they go to like their natural history museum and there's like a big tyrannosaurus. Yeah, it's like a strip club.

They're just there like drooling. Like looking at the animatronic. I can fix you. But this didn't, this couldn't have existed prior to our knowledge of dynos, you know? Yeah, I don't know where these things happen. It could be watching Madagascar

just a little bit too young. Well, yeah, then you might have a thing for penguins, you know? But what I'm saying is like, you couldn't be attracted to to the kiwi bird as a thing if if you lived in 17th century France hmm you know you're not gonna know that that like and then your brain isn't like I'm just waiting for the one thing that I am attracted to my body is just naturally attracted to this one thing they say no how can you be in they specify sexually and emotionally attracted to

what do you mean emotionally attracted to to the Tyrannosaurus yeah I mean this this this is a lie this this this question isn't real bro it's real it's not fucking real bro it's real okay get them on the cast let's confront them yeah okay well I'm right here okay penultimate one here from typhling afria it's the same person who remember a few months ago they wrote this one in with all these late strangely placed emojis. So it makes it quite difficult to read. Bello jar, I'm writing again with a little story time involving a pet name suggested by you. Yes, you. A friend of mine is going abroad, so he gave me two of his creepy crawlies.

One is a tarantula. And the other is a tailless whip scorpion. They put like the genus names and stuff. I'm not reading that. My friend did not name these creatures, so it is up to me to name them. I want to name one of them R5i and Z, but I don't know which creature would best suit the name. What do you think?

When I told my friend I was going to name one of them R5NZ, he said that that name makes zero sense whatsoever. I said that that was a reference from Jal Media, and him as well as my roommates told me that JARMedia is banned from discussion in the common area. Mostly kidding. Thoughts? Hashtag awesome. The Scorpion. R5N Scorpion. So it's what a tarantula or a scorpion called a scorpion? I think the scorpion. You could, you could.

I think the scorpion. What if you went like R5ian T and R5ien S? Like a production line. But then like to get R5ian Z you'd have to have like a zebra. That's fine. but who has a zebra It doesn't matter Or it should be illegal

To have a zebra Or is it zebra I think it's actually zebra Oh god Unfortunately It's like It's like octopuses It's not octopoe

Yeah Who started that Some creep It's actually octopi Actually octopi actually octopuses Nice That's a James Bond thing Fucking bussy

octobussy galore. Here's my octobussy. Shaken, not bloody fucked. It was the question? It was the name. Unless you had like a strong... The scorpion.

R5ian Zed. Scorpion's spelled with a Z. Scorpion. Whereas I already gave my suggestions Yeah, you gave your digestion And I want to say on that comment That was like downvoted Quite a few times

Because of the But I gotta preface this With the question segment Upvotes, downvotes make no difference to my vote I read them all See that's what I mean Alex controls Jarmedia like as a boot camp Sometimes I'll go to the bottom first

To be honest See what craziness is down there What they're trying to hide But you know you've done that before We've had some fucking Really bad questions down there But also some beauties. Was it the egg one?

The egg question. It's normally the human-sensitive ones that I will never screenshot. There was one of them. There was one of them, though. I've seen there's been one recently. Oh, yeah, he's there every week. No, but the human centigrade questions are not as bad as the one you've wed. The Brad cheese, the Brad Pitt dick cheese.

That's that same guy, yeah. He's just changing, like, different, like, okay, so you've done. Brad Pitt and Margo Robert's cheese and what do you think of Denzel Currie's cheese? Um

let's end on this one from Gigi Noodles 1 and this is kind of thematic it wraps up what we're talking about earlier with a nice little bow

what are Alex's thoughts on blue sky they have epic such as Ice Age Epic and Rio Epic you remember Epic no

it looks like it used to be such a comment it's annoying I can't really say it anymore that it like oh that looks a I generated that looks like a machine made that epic is one of those movies 2013 film oh well it doesn't look real that that looks like a CG like an AI generation doesn't it the post of epic like what is going on there it does look pretty it doesn't look no one has seen it it's called epic as hell they also did the um the the

the the will smith bird one Spies in disguise. What the? I'm a pigeon over here? Very weird. But this is what's crazy about this. Epic. Right?

2013 film. $100 million budget. Gross is worldwide. $268 million. Huh? Someone's watching it, man. Not just someone. Colin Farrell's in there, Josh Hutchison.

What? Amanda Seafried? No, man. personally i think blue sky are terrible i think they're really bad the shit they make sucks i started watching spies in disguise oh really where it's on disney plus i think oh really must be in the uk like a oh maybe they don't i don't even know who yeah disney might have them now they probably dobbled them up yeah um but yeah

awful really really atrocious oh they were a subsidiary of 20th century fox so they are owned by disney there you go yeah They got Rio, they got Ice Age, they got Rio 2, they got Ice Age 2, they got Ice Age 2, they got Ice Age 3, they got Ice Age 4, they got Ice Age 5. Nice. Kind of fire. Ice Age was kind of fire, because, um, Woolly Mammoth got, it kind of cool. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a fucking Sabertooth Tiger over here.

Yeah, I love the Sabreto Tiger over here, guy. He's fire. Hey, I sort of like can't really swim nowadays. I really like Sid the Sloth. He's pretty fairer. Yeah, Rio sucks except for... Will I Am. Huh?

You think he's the good bit? In Rio, yes. No, bro, you remember robots, don't you? Yeah, robots, fire. Robots, yeah. That is like a weird, a dunk-dunk robot. That's like the only thing I remember. Yeah, fucking fat-ass, juicy-ass robot.

But where the juicy robots are, huh? Yeah, and there it is, spies in disguise. And probably the best thing they've ever made is that Peanuts movie. Peanuts movie? Yeah. Oh, they did the Peanuts movie? With Snoop Dog. It was kind of the first one of these, like, spider-versy, like,

we're going to play with a frame rate and make it actually look cool. Make it look interesting and not, like, ugly and gross. I didn't realize that was them. Yeah. I didn't watch the whole thing, but what I saw from it was like, this is cute and appropriate. Normal. It actually looks something that isn't epic.

The movie epic, not that it isn't epic. Ow, fuck. The movie film epic. Yeah, the film also known as epic. So, there's another epic one. Merry Christmas, having fun. Yes, please. When Santa says ho-ho-ho, what does he mean?

Ho? He means hoes. Ho-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. He loves. He loves hoes. He loves three hos. Mandoam's got three hos. Oh, ho-ho-ho.

Santa loves his hoes. He's got Ho-Becker. Oh, Rachel and... Oh, Jesus. Hotep. Hotep, my favourite character from Warhammer 2, Scorpion, B, E, L.C. Scorpion D.L.C. I still need to keep playing Road Trader.

Boat it at my Wii U. Bode it up my way, you. Because I need you. Oh, fuck. I think I've got quite an ugly nose. Your nose is beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy My ear is fucking so weird at the moment

Yeah, you probably shouldn't be sat on the far left Why? Because you're right here Is that your deaf ear? Well, I've got no choice. I'm not sitting there. Come? Like, it doesn't make any difference

Because I can still heat I think it's gone better But it feels weird because it's all clungy at the moment Can you go to the Spani and get me in on me, please? Yeah Yeah