JAR Media Posdact - The Master Baiter - JARCast Episode 323

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 10:22 Housekeeping 23:33 JARCast Attendence Stats 33:14 The Prince Question 48:41 Mid Break 49:09 Questions: Icer, Flamer, Acid Man, Triangler and Driller? 49:59 It would take 19 days, 5 Hours and 45 minutes to finish all of JAR 55:48 A Very Offensive UK Word 57:12 Big Mouth is Finally Ending 58:26 Dream Garden 1:00:48 A Gooner Writes In 1:03:24 Using Words that are too 'Un-normal' around peers 1:06:23 MF Ghost & Hi-drivers

So am I Brett? Am I Chet? No, you're Brett, you're a hundred percent. I'm a hunter. Oh, no, you might be a hunter. I just got on my truck. Howdy? What truck do you have?

What's your truck? You know, one of them like, off-road, ice-road. No, no, no. Tell me your truck. Yeah, yeah, fast. Is it a Silverado? Are you a ramble? Are you a ranger?

Do you like rangers? Is it an F-150? I'm an Elon Musk fan. Alex is the type of man to own an F-150. Jamie would own a Silverado. Oh, yes, 100. Woo-hoo. And I'd own a toy to Hylux.

I would at least need enough room for all my shotguns. Yeah, F-150 guy. I have a very vivid memory of that time like old jar old enough jar to be the old channel where we did this blab about gun control oh my god we did as well didn't we it's like really funny really really annoyed yeah because it was with a battlefront video as well

was it was a battlefront footage oh that's beautiful oh that's so good because that's all we did back in the day was like those blabs were all just battlefront man yeah good videos we were that we were kind of doing YouTube shorts before kind of it was a bit like a review take USA type model yeah directly inspired by my tad yeah shut that that means awful shut up and do what meme what meme I didn't say a meme what mean so you know like how jar is like so so advanced like in terms of you know

like memes the discussion points that when it becomes a big meme we like are never like we're not the foundation we're not seen as the person who calls it because gooning is now like an actual just straight up normal meme normies know of gooning yeah but we were on that shit years ago yeah yeah people like throwing throwing flame like oh you're so late to the Biblically accurate angel thing. It's like, all right, one. What about all the other ones? You know?

All the millions of other ones. Literally every other one. Talking about biblically accurate angels, isn't late to the party because we weren't like, have you heard about these biblically accurate angels? We were just like just a discussion about it. So we didn't make a deal out of it. So we weren't late.

He just talked about it. I also, that whole attitude is just like, lame, you know? So what? So someone just, what is wrong with someone just finding something like that out, you know? What would be wrong with that anyway? This is part of the Chinese cultural war that is so effective is the, the, the Tic-Tock superiority. You know, I saw it first, so I'm funny, because I saw the new funny thing before you.

Exactly. So I'm funny. And on that note, we invented gooning. We spread that seed. Yeah, I was the first gooner. Yeah. We sprayed those seeds. across the room. We sprayed those seeds over our many monitors. You don't spray your seed. That's the point of go

Go you imagine I did at some point you don't that's what cooening is though it's edging yeah you don't know not forever no you're wrong no bro you get your six little bottles of poppers you get your yeah you get your like you know Batman in the end of the dark night you like you get that sort of set up you get that set up and you just pop all night long you sit down and you get your you get your you know You get your tanga egg, you get your fleshlight, you get your... You get every male sex toy going. Yeah, and then four days later, you come out of that bat cave, a changed... Dehydrated. And very dehydrated. Yeah.

And you've got blue balls. Yeah, but not for the usual reason. They're blue from overuse. They've been drained so much. That's what I'm saying, though. You do spray your C. I don't know. typically of gooning I think the whole point is to not what do you do when you stop them you

stop no no that's a different thing that's a different thing dude I get no yeah is it I don't know I was an actual gooner I am hmm no like you I've never gowned as we kind of introduced this episode of the jar cost there's the real guna through uh whatever we're doing right now um I guess I should probably interrupt proper before we get into this Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gents. Welcome to Jarkhurst episode 323, a lovely palindrome to carry us through this Saturday. Isn't that right, James? 3, 2, 3, 3, 3, 4.

Hello, Guna. Yeah, this is the podcast where we dismantle complex sociopolitical things. We're kind of going in that direction now. We thought we'd make the official announcement. We're going to really focus on geopolitics, actually. And especially the impact of petro states on the wider global economic landscape. And we're going to start by talking about Jim's thing that he's brought to the table on this one. So where do you want to get us going on this academic one?

First, I want to break down what we mean by Geo. Are we talking currency, like the currency from the hit video game franchise Hollow Night? They're called Geos, are they? I'm talking about Neo Geos. Remember those? Or is it Nat Geo Wild? There are a few options. See, I'm assuming in Nat Geo, it means national geography. Anyway, I feel like I've got no identity right now

Am I a chat? Am I a Brett? Am I a Chad? Am I a hunter? See, no, you've moved on from the geos and I kind of want to talk about geophons from my favorite show, Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yeah, it always goes back to the air. Doesn't it, brother?

No, but do you not think the actual future is a geophon? Like giant robots fighting angels? No, a geophon is. like a city underground you know a geofront I feel like as far as dystopian futures

Blade Runner seems like the one Corpo nightmare No I know I'm not thinking about the future I'm thinking like So global warming is currently a thing That is currently affecting us And the wider world And we'll do over the next few years

If we're underground The heat won't bother us Because we can have air conditioning I'm sure that's entirely true right What I miss that? What was that? Well, guys, we need like

We need a central topic To bind us You know? Like, no, it doesn't even have to be true, you know? Like, we just needed to say That it's something, you know? It is the official Assassin's Creed podcast. It is the official combat podcast.

Yeah. We talk, we do talk. we do talk about combat. No, I think we should be the official fishing podcast. Ah, that's a good idea. This is the bait and tackle episode. Yeah, yeah. James has been baiting for a long time.

He's been sowing the, not the seeds, but what do fish eat? Worms? They're bait. Yeah, you've been sewing that bait for a long time, man. No, no, I'm OG baiter. You know, I was, I was bait. on, like, the reason Evangelion's a meme because I'd go on the

Evangelion, Fred, and bait people. Can you start calling, like, jerking off, baiting? Well, it's not what it's already called. No, no, just a different fucking thing. Gooning and baiting and baiting. No, like baiting. Bating. Oh, master baiting. Right.

Yeah. I just got done baiting. Is that too much? No, but it could be... I've been criticised in the past for my um my vernacular how so

masturbating oh for saying master masturbating yeah but I think like I got in the bath and I had a masturbation session

no but do you not think master baiting kind of implies that you're like the master and you're baiting instead of like apprentice baiting yeah

when you say I'm master baiting you know it's like you've you've accomplished something you've you've like reached the pinnacle of james is the master bait around here oh my god no i'm not i don't i'm not but you do bait you were just saying about how yeah i'm the master of bait i'm a master but i'm not i'm not the master master beta that's what we're saying yeah i'm just good at bates you know like episode three episode two no episode episode episode five I fucking hate Star Wars It's stupid

Oh that's what you're referencing Yeah I thought you're talking about the jarcos Yeah that's what you're referencing Specific episodes or isn't No but I might be It's very likely I was Bating on episode two and five

Before we get I say this 12 minutes in Before we get too deep into this show Let me shout out with the Jail Media patrons That make the audio versions of the show possible And get their names read out On the first or second week of each New freshly born month

That comes out there Isn't that right Everybody. Too true. We got to do some housekeeping, guys. We got some conversations to wrap up from that previous episode and just, you know, grab something and mold it where we want it. The master control. Eh?

Yeah? I like James's miming over there. Ha, he. Uh, yeah. Okay, let's do this one then. um from this abino basilis can start us off um this was the fellow who wrote in to say that he didn't actually poo himself and that he somehow avoided it oh the masturbator sorry i failed to poo myself jar

i'll make sure to try harder next time for my readmission to jar university but to make up for it what i do have for you is a story where i got shot on what long ago when i was a little boy in elementary school there was a special presentation where a man brought his favorite cow to school I'm sure you can already predict the outcome of this story. Anyway, it was basically a mini field trip, but held within the school itself. My peers and I were lined up so we could exit the classroom in an orderly fashion. 26 was my assigned number in the line. To this day, I still can't decide whether that number was a blessing or a curse.

Jumping forward in time, we surrounded the cow and the man in the shape of the letter U. The man began telling us useful cow facts such as how the cow has a specialized stomach. with four different compartments, helping in its digestion. Of course, this would naturally lead to some of us kids to talk about how step five of its digestion process was to poo, and that's when it happened. That's when the cow started spraying its excrement, like when you place your thumb at the end of a water hose. It was chaotic, a good chunk of the kids were directly behind the cow, and since we were all pretty short at that age, I regret to inform you that, yes, it did splash on their faces as well as their clothes. Needless to say, the cow demonstration was cancelled after this. The kids who were covered in the poo, or as I called them, the clay faces, were rounded up, presumably to be cleaned up.

I never saw them again that day, so maybe they got sent home. The rest of us headed back to class. Now at this point in the story, I didn't notice anything on me, and the smell of shit was already in the air, so as far as I was concerned, I was safe. When I took my seat in class, I realised the smell still faintly lingered on, but that wasn't possible unless. I looked down, and there it was, an undeniable splotch of cow crap right on my shorts. Somehow I'd missed it when I checked earlier.

I tell my teacher, I think I have cow poo on me. The teacher offered if I'd like to go to the office, but then I realized if I accepted, I'd have to shamefully walk out the class alone with the eyes of the other students on me. At least the prior group had each other to share the embarrassment. So I replied with, Oh wait, it's actually just a leaf. I got confused because they're both brown. Yep.

Excuse of the century, right guys? When no one was looking, I used some binder paper to wipe it away, then rewired my brain to actually believe it was a leaf. I write this, not just to share a story to the good people of Jha, but to confess to myself that I was indeed shat on, and that there's no shame in that, like Jarkar says, you must be cringe before you can be based. Game on Jha.

Are you really... Do you really get a shit on? or chat on if it's not a human yes because it's like you shit yourself you shitting us you I guess there's a difference between like a cow doing it and a Saudi Prince doing it like which is more degrading the Saudi Prince yeah no how crazy is that like I I feel like we've all been shat on by an animal at some point like a bird a pigeon bird dog you know it doesn't three of the four examples of birds

but it's like a cow is like possible but how often is people getting shot on by people so I feel like it's if you say way more than than you would think with intention

I feel like the animal one you would hope is more often accidental yeah but like no but how many people have been accidentally shot on by a human so that's more of like a clout thing I would say not that many

in comparison very few unless you count baby poo yeah but I feel like there doesn't count because they're pretty much animals

when adults be pooing on each other there's the kind of inherent sexual implication yeah if a baby's pooing on you it's just a baby you know they're pissing everywhere

it's not like it's different but there's there must there is cases of people just accidentally shitting on someone else like some weird situation where they were doing it

out of like a window and then just so happens as home what's right I'm sure like back in the day when we used to like just throw our stuff out the window with a bucket yeah but there's that's not being shit on that's having shit phone on you yeah it's different if if it if it's like come to a like velocity standstill and then comes into contact

with you it's different as opposed to like launching straight out of the the source um guys jartunes left this saying can i say i hate the term mighty i'm a jarling through and through bear and bear Any more confusing, conflicting names on top of that will lead to Ajamageddon, which few shall survive, I feel. Okay, Mighty. I really didn't, like, I didn't think anyone would really attach themselves to that, but here we are. I don't think they have attached themselves to it. I think we should... Let's drop it.

Drop it. He's right. What would you call him? All mighties. That is better. You should, like, name them after. something in this. What are you holding for those listening?

What does it say, Jim on the front? Basic elements of the Christian life. Gooning. Page one. Part one. No, I guess Christians do goon. No, Catholics do goon. They goon on Christ, yeah, for sure.

No, no, no, they actually goon. You know, pre-martial sex, they can't come. Oh, do you know what they do? They actually do their edge. Gooning. Oh, what do they call it? soaking where like

they'll penetrate but not move and then it's like the life hack is they'll have like someone sit under the bed and like push the mattress because then it's like by technicality them not doing it and we wonder why like so many freaks come out of religion like you've turned this natural process of having sex into this like

five-man task of puppeteering people to fuck don't go in my pussy only fuck my ass because then god won't be angry cool man yeah all these just repressed like you'll go to hell if you touch your willie a little bit bit. Meanwhile, like, apes are out there just like, one hand always jerking off. They'll pick up like a turtle and just use it like a flesh load. There's the famous frog video.

Oh, yeah. What? What? I think it's a chimp uses a frog as a fleshlight. I never seen it. You're going to have to show me this. I don't believe. It's true.

Look it up. Okay, then I'll look at it right now. Okay, yeah, see if you can find that. Well, read this. Crappy Post says, Hello, Jar. I'm training to become a professional wrestler and to debut this year. Could you suggest me any move to use as my finisher, and could you give it a name? That way I can aspire the fans to start watching Jha and getting your cult started.

Thanks. Damn. Move. What was that? This is the start of the video. Balfi replied to that saying Most obvious choice is the pisser dick dance But nobody knows

What the pisser dick dance looks like That's the trouble I don't even know It's a move, right? You've got to do it like on someone You found it But It's not okay, is it?

Kind of disturbing I told you The world is a dark place, you know It makes me want to be quite nihilist Looking at that That's nature You're like Imagine being that poor

motherfucking frog I'm sure it was dead long before You know No but that's just It's like Men just haven't They've not evolved What's like

This is just drinking a man But do you remember the blowjob fish? Oh, shit. What are you in the blowjob fish? What? Oh, shit. Yeah, I do. Why don't?

Yeah, that's a bad one. Wait, would you mean blowjob fish? That's what fishing dudes be doing. That's why they're so eager. It's so addictive. Yeah, that's the ultimate goon. What do you mean? That's what they're doing.

That's what these dudes are so into fishing. That's the, they go on their little dexter boat. out into the ocean looking for the perfect fish with those perfect lips. Oh, no, I don't remember. No, but the one thing is... I just googled it and I'm getting like 15 different videos in the same

like the actual... That's dark, man. Going back to wrestling moves there. Yeah, how about the frogfish? That's messed up, man. No, do you just like

do a flare? I guess and like land on him with your feet that'd be cool just do the piss-a-dick dance nobody knows what it is well that gives him carte blanche oh okay yeah no I know the pistic dance go and then do it oh shit no I don't I didn't make it did I like how I didn't make piss-a-dick and it's all been a fabrication of Alex's for the early days nice bait the master bait is back at it yeah well uh Hmm. Ooh. Sahad says, hello Mingers. Question for Jim. How did you find out about Low Roar? I found them out through Death Stranding.

The game does such a great job incorporating their music into those moments, and it's so memorable to me that I can recall what part of the game each song is featured in. It really elevated the game to a different level for me, and in my opinion makes it one of the best games of the last decade. Same to everything in that question. that is how i found you like low raw beyond just the music feature in that game right you went into yeah yeah i yeah and honestly the whole discography is is fabulous in my opinion um yeah so they're icelandic right um the the the lead in the band is was part american part

icelandic and lived in america moved to iceland okay so yeah cool yeah yeah yeah It is definitely partly thanks to them that Death Stranding is as good as it is. Yeah. And whenever I've seen clips of that stuff, it's like made me really want to play it. They're the best moments in the game. Really? Yeah. And it is like a thing happens and then it's like punctuated with one of those songs.

Yeah, or it will just be like a gameplay moment. Like you managed to do something and then like one of their songs starts playing. From what I understand, it was Kojima was in Iceland After the whole Konami thing Just flicking through a Record shop, like the records Yeah, yeah, yeah, in a record shop

And he found Lerora and he listened to it And so I think they They are partially responsible for him being inspired Because all the geometry Is Icelandic Isranding it is based off of Icelandic There must be some special source to Iceland because I feel like loads

of creative people go there and just inspired by it. Yeah, for sure. It's just like... Well, you rated it, didn't you? When you went there. Yeah, it's... It's like a dream world. Yeah. I can see it. It's like Japan.

Guys, I've got a little topic here for us. The user Eric May left for us on the subreddit. I think it's kind of interesting. This is the JARCAST attendance statistics. This is our attendance to the JARCAST. Recently I was curious about how many times different combinations slash lineups of members have occurred across the entire

history of the POSD Act. So I decided to look into it thanks to the spreadsheet here. I was able to compile stats of each individual member's attendance record and the occurrences of specific lineups. All stats are current as of episode 322 for a total of 378 episodes. including the corncasts in which every member attended all 42 episodes appearances by member That's not true

I guess that is true Ignore me Appearances by member Starting with James 334 episodes 88.36% of all episodes Jim 362

That's 95.7 7% of episodes and Alex 369 97.62% of episodes with Rubin being 163, 43.43 of episodes a number of episodes

with specific lineups. This is kind of interesting. So episodes where it was James, Jamie, Alex and Rubin, that's 124 episodes. So that's 32.8% of all episodes. Then Jamie, Alex, Rubin is 25 episodes, so that's 6.61%, first occurred in episode 7.

James Alex and Ruben, that's eight episodes, 2.12%. James Jamie and Rubin, that's only two episodes, 0.53%. James Jamie Alex, that's 190 episodes, so that's 50.27%. James and Jamie, that's five episodes, so that's 1.32%. That was the first one of those being episode 248. James and Alex, that's five episodes, 1.32% of episodes, first occurred in episode 99.999. There's never been a James and Rubin episode. Jim and Alex, 14 of those, so that's 3.7% of episodes.

Jim and Rubin, that's 2.0.53% of episodes first occurred in episode 71. Alex and Rubin, that's 2.0.53% of episodes first occurred in the colossal this crazy episode. We weren't invited. You're going to make that clear. You wouldn't have done it, be real. Yeah, I would have. No, you wouldn't have. You wouldn't.

Fucking liar. One of these episodes were school memes with Andrew, meaning episode 71 is the only one to feature strictly Jamie and Rubin. the only two occurrences of this combination were this is in regards to what yeah blah blah blah where the colossal is crazy and hot wet soup guest casts so there technically never been an episode with just Alex and Rubin thoughts I guess that doesn't consider the not I imagine those are only jar casts I think for the most part yeah including corncasts as well yeah there's not obviously that the attendance of nobody but you oh I guess I didn't read that last one

yeah there's one solo Alex episode yeah that was COVID when 0.27% of episodes that's when episode you had COVID right yeah first occurred in episode 241 so I guess that makes sense doesn't yeah you had COVID and we made the choice that for that episode it's like safer like we didn't come around it's just saying that that was also yeah yeah but then there's also like the Argy interview which is technically like an episode but like see that no that wasn't a curse that it wasn't a cast but it was like an episode lot. It's kind of more like a blab type thing. It was an experiment.

Yeah. But like, yeah, it's like the attendance doesn't really matter because all of my early attendance issues are just like severely bad mental health. That's like my attendance has always come down to that. I mean, the attendance doesn't actually matter. It's not like we're going to get disciplined if it goes under a certain same. Well, no, no. I did. Well, maybe we should do that. Maybe that should be a new rule. Yeah, that is a new rule.

For every one you miss, you have to do a task. Yeah, great idea You have to fish for a very specific fish The perfect fish as it were With lips like you've never seen Oh so that's why you've been catching loads of fogs recently Frog trap in the garden

Yeah, I just thought that was interesting That's crazy I think it's something to be proud of to be honest Not for me, 88, that's pretty... 88.36% That's really good That's not good at all No, think about like my school attendance No, but that's because

That was like 40 Yeah, in 6th one But that's because you had games to play No, it's the life hack Once you realize This is how important consequences are To, like, not at all No, no, I disagree

No, what do you mean? I had no consequences growing up And I'm kind of okay Okay, but like What was like the craziest thing you did? Me? Yeah. blast five grand on dark orbit was actually five grand it wasn't bro it was like two grand what was it actually

was it actually in the thousand yes oh do you know and this is what like the no two that's mid two thousands yeah that's like nine yeah and guess you've got no consequences well you're you're i don't think i ever would have lived that down if like i think my parents would even forgotten now it's like i would or i at least would have had to have paid that off somehow i would have to do something I didn't... Is that why you never pay me for food that we get? You're still paying off those dark orbit. No, was it actually that much, though?

Were you exaggerating? You're exaggerate. No, because, okay. Was it a few hundred? No. You thought it was that. So, like, the... With the way those games worked,

it was always like, if you want, like, premium currency in those games, you text it, and that's the one number way. And it was just like, each text was like, you get, like, £1.95 of value, and you could do 15 texts a day. and I maxed it out for months on end I'd wake up early in the morning

sneak downstairs because I knew they had this spare phone or do you use their phone They had this spare phone in their cupboard So when I was playing this game I discovered that they had this phone And it was always charged and it was always on And I realized the number was valid

So I was just like It was like one of these old knockiers They fucking block the Nuckias Probably the one I threw off that hill And I would just go on it and just text it now I'm going to fucking spam it every single day and then then it kind of like and I'd

go home and be like yes this premium currency that's crazy and then they found out because they looked for the phone bill and it was like why is it 3,000 pounds it was like it was enough to

like the main issue is that we had a fucked boiler like the whole boiler system need to be completely stripped out and replaced and that was like around like two grand and my parents like we can't afford the fucking boiler change now because all this dark orbit but basically

nothing ever came of it it's dark orbit reloaded now oh no no but how much of a game like that how much their money comes from like what james did the whole model of all this is but like fortnight that's what a whale was

how many how many I think there are a ton of kids who steal their parents you know it's like iPad games because the The apps still's logged in. Yeah, you just fucking quick in it. It's doing the bonus. But yeah, I...

So their business is propped up by... Uh-huh. Idiot kids. Yeah, stupid kids. So, but basically... I don't face consequences. I never had consequences. And I'm fine.

Like, I'm a morally okay person. Like, good person, I guess. Morally. Oh, yeah. I guess, like, having no consequences, I've turned out pretty okay. Tell that to that poor fish. That's all the frogs Hey I'm not the one catching frogs here

Going back to the stats though for a second Before we take a break here I was kind of most surprised by The disparity between Jim and I's With there only being seven Is that the difference It's 362 versus 369 Why do you think I was slacking

or something no no no I just feel like slacker I have less of an excuse to like miss them because it's like I live here you know you get ill a lot I do and you you poo all the time well that's true but that's also something that's that's just a constant that's that they're always yeah so no that's a thing a valid excuse to have to get out of any situation poo problems yeah that's how I got our jury duty anyway Oh. No, I, I, I pride myself on the... Pooh.

On poo. Yeah. You're prideful of poo. Yeah. I guess to end this segment then, like, what's the minimum of Saudi Prince would have to pay you to do a poo on you? 10 grand. Really?

Yeah, if he buys me in, I'll be 25 day, it's short. Yeah, 10 grand. You have to know, I don't think we can even remember. really comprehend like the wealth of some of these people oh no if they're like to them that's like a fiver it's nothing it's like buying a mcdonald 200k they can shit on my chest no no but 10k it doesn't matter what it is to them it matters what it is to me no no but i'm saying you're undervaluing yourself you get more yeah you're underselling yourself but i don't have to do anything no but you could get more to do shit on that's not doing anything okay but all about

it is diarrhea shit it probably is hmm It definitely, they would do, like, you know, if that's where they're going, instant, you know they're, like, preparing for this. They, God knows what it. Okay, half a million. Shit on my chest. Do it. Half a million. Yeah, give me a million at least.

I can buy a house. I can shit, have a nice toilet. That's unrealistic. A million pounds. No, no, no, no, I generally believe that if you're like... No, you asked what the minimum is. If some Saudi prince waltzed up to me and said, let me do a poo on you. No, but...

10K. Think about it this way though, right? You're telling someone a story and then you end by saying, yeah, they pay me 10K. Compared to, if you said a million, it would be more like, I'd probably do that. In my head, it's not like they walk over and they're like, can I do a poo on you? And I'm like, well, how much you're paying me? And they're like, well, let's barter. Let's have like a discussion and compromise.

You asked what the minimum amount of money is. Okay. Well, that's my minimum. A million is your minimum Yeah, that's not true Not true Why is that stupid That is stupid

Like minimum is probably like 100K minimum But like 100K yeah Like as a minimum That I could see Because being pooed on is degrading But yeah But 100K is money

Is 100K you know That's a lot of money That's a lot of Moolah Mula But that's What you're sacrificing Like you have to go to your grave What are you sacrificing

Is it film? You have to go to your grave knowing that there's You did that. No, bro, you know, I'd do? I'd clean myself up and instantly start getting dopamine hits and buying the best shit on the buying house. No, I would go have a shower and then immediately just start buying useless shit and spend it all. Yeah, dopamine.

Gambler. Yeah. Like, I'm not... Go to a betting shop. I'm not getting my horses. I'm not having your bed. I'm not going to feel degrading if, like, my life is better because of it. It's like, yeah, this made my life better.

Like, that's fine. I've done more degrading things. for nothing. You know what? Yes. I'm really glad you said that. Yeah. There are far worse things than being pooed on.

All of the early fucking jar videos is highly degrading for me, and I didn't do that for fuck. Yeah, I can't argue with that. Standing, we've been dancing and been bullied by my family for fucking 20 years? That's degrading as fucking, what did I get from that?

No, it, this is, the thing with degradation well okay this is going to get into this is it now was what do we value as degrading and why being pooed on

degrading yes or no yes because it's a waste product that carries a bunch of bacteria and unless it's some argy poos turns around eats it funny

nothing sexual about that no like weird power stuff going on yeah there's a dog eating his own poo like whatever that's funny Saudi Prince eating his own poo also kind of funny pooing on someone not funny You're telling me it's not funny

The Saudi Prince eating his own poo That's funny No the Saudi Prince pooing on you On me Funny But pay me a million bucks for that humour Do you know how many people are shitting on people's chest for nothing Yeah

That's their problem man I'm not involved in that so they can do what they want. I know, I know you're not, but I don't think it's like that guy, there's like an infamous guy in London or whatever who like, what is it? He wants people's like dirty feet like on his face or something. He like wants people, he like lies on the floor and then he would just like pay people a little bit of money to like stand on him or like pee on something weird like that. That's, if he's got that weird thing going on, that's on him. Okay, minimum to poo on someone. If it is degrading to be pooed on, how much are you...

Okay, I would peel on someone for 10 grand. Okay, here we go. Oh my God, that's that... You're such a bitch. You just... Get shit on them, bro. You don't give me 10 grand then. So you want to degrade others?

I'd prefer that over again shit on, yeah. But it's, I would argue... When I go back to that memory and it was like, that's funny to me. To shit on someone, that's humor. No, but... Do you not... Then I got to clean it up, I got shit on me, I'm getting all this. No, but do you not think the degradation part kind of isn't really there when you're getting paid that that much money?

No. I don't think, if sounds planning me, 100K to be. Yeah, you're doing something you wouldn't do just for some cash for some Moolah. There's nothing wrong with that. Um, I don't know, you would judge that, like, you go on a first date with someone and like, oh yeah, like, I had this thing with a Saudi prince and he'd fly me. out and shit on me every weekend for a year. And, but then they're going to pull up and they're going to leave in their Lamborghini and go to their mansion, well, like, I'm going to judge.

Yeah, that's... But every time you're like kiss them on the cheek, you're thinking of that Saudi shit. Yeah, where was that poop here? But I... No, but... No, because, no, here's the thing. I don't think many men are wanting to shit on people. It's mainly men wanting women to shit on them.

That's what that, that is. Or men pooing on women. I doubt. I don't think that would be like a major kink. I think it's mainly a really hot woman taking a shit on you. I think that's what that kink is I guess. Movie 43.

Chris Pratt says it to his wife at the time. Yeah, he gets hit by a car and poo's all over the car. It happens. Is that actually what happens? That's how it ends. God, I don't even remember that. He used loads of Taco Bell to like prep the poo.

and then he does the Mario voice and he's like Mama me Anna Farris I wanna do a poo on me Picnic poo No he's the one pooing on her And he doesn't want to

But he does it for her So then they get married I can't remember Funny movie It is a classic I feel Why are we talking about I think the fact

That you're fine with A million pounds worth Of degrading someone else Because that's like a figure I can look at and be that and be like... No, but you're willing to degrade someone else for 10K. Yeah, you know?

Because they have to take that to their grave, you know? But what about if... But by if they don't care? What about if they're graded again? That's their problem, you know? I would argue it's the money that matters. Yeah. It's not degrading to be pooed on if you want it.

For money, that's fine. No, no. But then they... But that's someone who, like, likes degradation. No, but I'm not. saying that the one being degraded in the you pooing on someone for 10k is still you because you're the one being paid to do something you wouldn't ordinarily do they're getting off on being degraded instead of them getting off paying me to degrade me what I know

yeah yeah there is a different dynamic there is a different dynamic there isn't a different there is bro all right let's do it no would you ordinarily poo on someone no so either way you're doing something you don't want to do for money yeah yeah yeah you're being degraded there's way more likely that i would like for a laugh do a pill on the floor somewhere then like be pooed on that's just the truth no but but am i wrong no but doing a poo somewhere for a laugh is very different to pooing on a person this is well i don't i don't understand what part you have an issue is I'm saying wrong? Yes. I'm saying

either way, you're the one that's being degraded. You're being used as a poo person. You're being used as a fetish tool. I would tell, I would happily tell someone the story of the time. I was flown out by a Saudi prince to do a poo on someone. I would tell them that

before I told them oh, I was flown out and they did a shit on me. Do you not think that's just as funny? It's different. It's funny. There's humor. But it's different No, but then you say

$4 million, then it's like, yeah Well, yeah, I agree with you That was my minimum So you're with me No, but even $100K 100,000, bro Yeah, that's so much money That's so much fucking money

That would change all of our lives You'd wake up to my significantly happier If you had that money And that's a fact And everyone else who bought you're just gonna agree Like bro, you buy You come home from being shit on

I buy like your bank account you got that figure then you're like juicy and you buy that car whatever yeah and every time you look at that car you're like it's like a symbol of that shit that like was put on you yeah but it's like hard work hard work pays up yeah it's not hard work crime pays and it no i no i do think like i'm not because it's gonna be like i love that thing i bought i'm not gonna be thinking of the shit that was on my chest no because it's like it's like when when you look at like your

Xbox 360 You don't associate it with your job That's because I didn't have to Well I guess it depends on what your job is But like Degrade yourself to that degree To do something so unusual That you actually have to be

Approached and offered A comical amount of money To be able to do it in the first place That's going to stick with you I'm sorry A niche market has high cost and like I'm sorry but some of these some of these people that have flown out to do these things

they're doing more than just being shit on I'm afraid it depends much worse even like like yeah money money has a corrupting influence but also like I think these like these these royal princes who are so rich they are the ultimate gooners of this world

well no no this is a thing they're so dopamine fuck imagine the like kicks they're like what level they're on you know yeah yeah no this is what I mean when humanity's gonna create a chaos god because all the witch people are ready like chasing the ultimate level of pleasure that it's they're gooned the petro god yeah it's it's it's a really interesting thing and I think um you know uh no because I imagine like don't go into shit is like probably like the end of the goon so how warm no bro. I think

That's the beginning That's the beginning No I don't think so I think some of the things That people out there Are getting up to Are so depraved That we would never even consider it

But they're doing it I'm not about I gen't You're talking like Geoffrey Teb Yeah genuinely yes Like that But that's basically like an extreme level On S&M Like sadism

Yeah Yeah Like that is Probably Yeah no that absolutely does happen but it's like we're softballing it with the poo thing

no but I still think poo's just the beginning poo's pretty extreme yeah that's the point of making like to them that's just like normal you know that's just like you know it's like the it's the first drink of the night

type thing you know okay all right okay prove it wrong then I will. You come back

like next week wearing all Gucci you're pulling your fucking Lamborghini where have you been? But okay so what if one of us suddenly turns rich? Would you actually

so right now next week I come in in like you know a fully built role and whatnot and I go back to my house I've bought would you know that I should start on my chest

Would it just be on written that we don't acknowledge that that's happened No we'd have a conversation Would it just be a conversation If when you showed up Would you acknowledge it Or would you act like everything's the same

Well no I'd probably be like oh yeah Look this sweet car I've got So then the next question would be Oh right Like how? Like where's this come from? But surely because

We've had this conversation Would you not just know Would you not just be like That wouldn't be my first assumption necessarily. I'd probably first think that like... Lottery or something. A rich family member passed away. Something like that maybe.

Not Saudi Prince necessarily. Okay, so what level of wealth do I have to show for you to assume it's Saudi Prince shit on my chest? Like what do I actually have to like turn up with or buy in front of you for you to think instantly assume it's because of shit? When I see the huge garage with like

30 plus laurels, all the laurels in the country pretty much I'd say if you just had like three if you had a garage and multiple cars I'd actually only miss the garage in the women

you have two cars one of them being a Renaulte that doesn't scream Saudi Prince shit babe I bought well if you Is it only Saudi Prince yeah why did you jump to

shroudly I just that's just where my mind's going I'm sure there are other princes that are doing this. I imagine it's not in princes. I mean, just go to Washington. They're probably all in Washington. I'm sure they're global. They're probably all in the White House.

It's just, you know, well, this is the petro state episode, clearly. There's a lot of money in petro states. And what else do you do when you get that rich? You've got an Xbox. You've got a PlayStation. Yeah, and then you start, you pay, how much would you have to pay Biden to do it to you? That would be the question. I'm paying Biden?

Yeah, I'd pay Biden. in my whole bank account. Let's go Biden. Yeah, then you can frame him and sell the pictures to the white wing for extreme amounts of money. Leftist Biden like pooing on people. Biden shots.

Yeah. Exactly, that's what I fucking said. I guess we'll see after these messages. Buy bear bear, buy bear bear. I do declare buy bear bear bear. Bear, bear shirts and mug available now.

Check the description below. Welcome to the second half of the cast will be answer questions from the JAR media subreddit. Head over there to the suggestion thread and ask us any question you feel like. If you want to ask us things for future episodes, just like Jazzy Dasmin did. By the way, we're just going to fire off questions until we run out of time. We're waiting for the door right now, so we're just going to go, go, go. And the second that doorbell goes, like, this episode's over, so I'm wasting time right now. Who will win in a fight between Issa, Flamer, Acid Man, Triangler, and Driller?

We need to know who the alpha of the Belkman's cinematic universe is. Bill Hader Gaming replied to that saying, definitely the ice cream man. And he's correct. He actually understands the law the best. In my universe, the ice cream man's like the... It's like the Thanos, you know, the top-tier villain. and emperor pulling the strings, you know, so that is the correct answer. The will-villing of the Marvel Cinematic Universe was Iron Man all along.

Oh, yeah. Um, Eric May says, if someone wanted to watch every single jar cast back to back, it would take about 461.75 hours or 19 days, five hours and 45 minutes. It is crazy to think that. almost three weeks of your lives have been documented over the past seven years and would you consider that a good thing or a bad thing it's a bad thing why is it a bad thing

I don't need my life documented it's like causing like genuine issues of my personality because it's like I've become one with the with like jar it's like there's the things I do off camera when like in my house now is like such explain it's like jar

what's wrong with that why is that a negative that's not trying to understand I don't think it's a negative it's just like well people usually react when there's a camera on them, right? I don't. They act different, yeah. Yeah, and it's just like,

I'm so natural to that camera being there that I'll just do things into the camera that are completely just unhinged because I don't realize it's there. That's part of the fun though, man. Like, they've got to figure out, like, what the line is between what's real, what's like a character,

what's fake. Like, I just, I think Jars like ruin part of my brain development. No, it's improved it, man. It's sped it up. I don't think it's sped it up. It has, man. He scores, like, an actual, like, thing.

Like, a personality thing. Psychosis of a sort. Yeah, I guess so. Like, there's something wrong with me permanently. JAR psychosis. JAR induced psychosis. It's like kind of like a face off, but, like, half of my face is, it's like, my face has been taken by another being called JAR James,

and then it's like, but the face is the same, person's the same, if you know what I mean. It's like this weird thing. I hear you. I need to go fishing. Is that more or less time than you would guess to see it like written out like that? 19 days, 5 hours, 45 minutes.

I thought it would be way more. I suppose an hour a week. I do more than an hour though. An hour or two a week. Well, that's three, two days and a little, like two days and like, 15 days. 19 days, five hours, 45 minutes? No, but in a year, it's two days and like three hours.

Yeah. I think that is crazy. I also think... Like four or five hours. I think it's a good question the is it a good or bad thing because there is a fine line. I think like there are people that share every single second and every moment of their lives online and I do think that is a bad thing. Yeah, no, that is a bad thing because then they don't become, they cease existing. cease existing, like the actual will them

just doesn't exist. Yeah, what, how much of you is like playing up to the audience and like... Kim Kardashian. Yeah, like you become like a product almost and you become this weird amalgamation of like... Algorithms. Algorithm and audience, what they expect

of you, what they demand of you. You become a capitalist tool. Kind of, yeah. Well, yeah. That's like all you are. Mm. Yeah. But also at the same time, I think it is kind of

a good thing when it is like I can go back 200 episodes and see kind of what state I was in and have these little flashes of Yeah it's good to be like a recorded history like that But I think it does when you've done it this long It does actually have like an effect on you Just not as like streams

Like you know who you are but it's like There's giant influence in that Because you've spent so long doing it And it's just like kind of like that Yeah I think it's interesting and crazy to think about It's, yeah, it's a strange thing And yeah, it depends on the individual

If they consider it a good or bad thing Or if they've mentally strong enough to do it I think you do have to be a big before Isn't, isn't Chris Chan kind of considered The most documented person ever type thing Um, and that's not necessarily for the best of reasons, is it? No, um, oh, uh-oh, Jim If you had to guess, if you had to guess,

if you had to like guess if you combine the runtime of every jar cast how many days would that cover I've got the figures here every episode a couple hours a week for quite a few years seven years worth

three four days way under man 19 days 5 hours 45 minutes what how or 461.75 hours and what's your take on

is that a good or bad thing we're just having a little chat about that because it's like a fine line for it gets too far we're oversharing to strangers online you know like Chris Chan um I think it's

only a good thing. The more of your life that everyone sees. So you're saying we need to start mounting cameras to our head and just have a stream going at all times. Yeah, all people should do that. Because every second is potential for content. Yeah.

Yeah. There'd be a lot more funny drama moments if there were. Because there's a lot of things that happen off the screen that are just like fucking funny. Fire. Yeah, lit. HKJ369 says Opinions on the term Britbong

It is technically a derogatory term For British people But personally I think it's very funny And should be reclaimed All throughout the UK thoughts Bitbogs Yeah, we're Britbogs No one's actually offended by that are they

No, yeah What does it mean? I mentioned bong heads are Bonheads Brit, I don't even know like the etymology Like why Britbong Bit, well you just Because of a Brexit probably

Because we're fucking bongs for leaving the year that's when I started first seeing it was around the Brexit time I thought it was like a 4chan thing yeah no it was it's like your Britbon which means you're like a lesser human which we are yeah but we're British fucking course with lesser

so I just searched Britbong I would say it's a derogatory term but it's like who cares plural Brit bongs um yeah slang humorous sometimes derogatory a British person like okay

cool I don't care there's not much weight to it who's gonna get upset over it you yeah I did get upset over it it it's no because it's like

I get upset over it when it's like an American saying it's like shut the fuck up mm you you uh yank oh

eh that one's got spice that one's got razor sharp edge uh cherry rabbit Little Lodz says Big Mouth is finally coming to an end. How will you boys be celebrating? By watching the final season?

We won't celebrate. You just don't acknowledge it. I forgot it existed really. Yeah, I haven't even hate watched it in so many years. Garbage, man. But I'm happy for him. I'm happy for all of them. Well done, John Mulaney.

Well done John Malaney. I forgot he was in that. Who's John Malaney? He's that comedian. who was really addicted to uh cocaine cocaine yeah saying it was that comedian doesn't do it mean anything you know he's spider pig in spider bus okay i know who john milani is he was he was the bad guy in uh pussumboots the latest piss and boots was he really yeah and really funny in it i watched his latest stand-up how was it his special um this is pretty good i've heard it's quite funny actually

I find him quite funny I saw some clips of him being interviewed by Theo von Have you ever seen that guy? Yeah, yeah Theo von Yeah Pretty funny little clips I saw he was talking about addiction Um

The softest bulletin says What are each of your dream gardens like Um Concrete Um Yeah it's like half and half It's like half concrete half like garden of Zen

I want a Zen garden I want the little knockers knockers knockers knockers you know what I'm you know what you know what Zen garden is yeah I know a Zen garden is yeah Jim doesn't

but it's like when you've got the ding thing like the bird in alien that's in the water no no that in a Zen garden has the has the ding it's like bamboo and then it fills

of water and it goes ding oh so like yeah so it is one of those things really yeah

yeah I guess so yeah the like ostrich that goes like that in the water no no it's a bamboo one but the same thing

well yeah yeah it's just a garden of anything mine would be like I would want like a colossal pond like so big

that you could have a little robo and fish in it no Alex just wants more provide you your fogs and fish yeah that would be like at the end of the garden right

and then around that it's like loads of grass and then a place for growing kale and then over there like a woods with like all different types of trees that are all that doesn't sound like a garden bro that sounds like we're of a fucking acre acre of land

yeah what do you think man you said dream garden a nice big garden where it's like loads of garages I can put cars and a nice same garden I want to be able to like open the back doors and then like the dogs just go crazy They just go running for miles Would you not want a wanch? Of course

Because I've seen a wanch Do you mean ranch A wanch? Yeah man He Jamie hasn't told us what his is I did I was the first one to answer You just want concrete

Concrete With weeds growing In between. That says a lot about your personality. It's like asking what your soul, what colors your soul, you know? Yeah, you're dab, mate. Okay, concrete, boy. Passenger Last 9107 says,

On the topic of lifelike gooning virtual experiences, I've had some experience playing this game called Virtual Sucubus, where a customizable 3D anime girl gives you commands based on a specific menu of kinks and available toys. The more kinks and toys you have enabled, the more varied your session, and the more in-game currency you gain to use on choosing specific outfits for your succubus. There are several different session types to choose from, such as time-based, one that ends after you've edged a certain amount of times, one where you have to beg her every ten minutes to let you nut, one where you nut as many times as she wants, and so on. The way I play it is to have a projector cast the succubus on the wall, and then I lay on my bed, and, well, you get the picture. As a college student living by myself with lots of free time, I feel like I'm in the group most susceptible to porn addiction.

Despite having constant access to all this, however, I usually find myself jacking it for about 10 minutes, once every few days, usually not with the projector or anything. Just regular porn sitting in a chair. I'm not sure whether this means there's something wrong with me or something right. with me. It makes me think there are really many other factors present in addiction than we might be considering thoughts. Addiction, like there's, if addiction is taken

a lot of time for like science to kind of work out the addictive things, right, and why our brain is susceptible to addiction. And with the different kinds of addictions, there's obviously a different whole mental thing to it, like smoking, drinking, porn, sex. Fighting people.

and it's just like there's addictions are crazy things so I don't know yeah maybe I feel like once you've invested in a projector to project your porn on the wall maybe yeah that's like the step too far

that's a fire idea though I'm added that to my Amazon bar as well as I'm reading it of it's like a next level of goon because you can have all your screens for gooning and then you can project porn on behind the walls of your gooning set I never thought about integrating a projector that's genius You can like project porn onto every wall in your mum

I feel like that's not as hardcore as the VR goon though There is yeah the VR like no the VR like VR like gooning is not like it's not really like there yeah Really? Yeah they might surely If they want VR to be a success they've got to start at least Goon yeah the gooning the goon market This one I found interesting from Bams Lord 3. Recently I've had trouble using words that do not confuse people in conversations.

For instance, I once used the words jarring and redundant, which led to inquiries about their meaning and completely halted the conversation. It is frustrating to hold myself back from using certain words out of fear that they might confuse others. I imagine you three well-adjusted bear bears have experienced this dilemma before in your quest to be normal. Do you have any advice? Who is this person talking to? How old are they? Yeah, redundant.

Like, come on. Jarring? No, it's just like every single person over the age of 20 knows what redundant means because usually the first time you really see it is like redundancies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're being made redundant. Yeah. Jarring is just like a fucking word.

This is the thing that if they're like nine years old, maybe. Or is this literally just TikTok now? It's just these TikTok generations, they don't know what these words mean. This is the thing, though, right? It's like you do wind up in this little bubble and you forget about the greater truth, you know? Like, I was looking up, no, no, listen, I was looking up, like, average reading ages in certain countries and stuff. And especially, I heard the, like, America's, like, average reading age and it was, like, fourth grade level or something. Like, 50% odd of people.

I was like, oh. maybe that explains it I understand it's like there's some people in my family who like math space not English based so if I use a very complex word they'll be like

I've never heard that before because I'm using this really specific niche word for some to describe something and they because they're not English brain they don't get it and that's like that's a specific word

not redundant or jarring for me like I've always loved flowering language it's one of the joys of life for me is like learning new words and figuring out ways to interject them but I would never but I like if someone's like oh what does that word mean or something you know oh it boosts your ego yeah yeah well I will do that if someone uses a word against me that I don't know conyption I'm not sure I did that once and it was the most satisfying thing because it turned out he'd made the word up oh really he didn't even know

because yeah it's almost like a test in a way it's oh I've not heard that What does that mean? Yeah, but I was, I was genuinely like, oh, what does that mean? Mm-hmm. I've never heard that book. Yeah. So that's what they should do. Like, don't be frustrated in a conversation.

If someone doesn't know what a redundant means, just tell them. Just go, well, you're a bit redundant, aren't you? Yeah. This is a jarring and redundant conversation, me having to explain this to you. Idiot. Boom. Yeah, man. This is for you, James, from Goldfish.

7740, how oldie mingers, this one is for James. Have you seen anything about MF Ghost or High Drivers? They are two new racing anime coming out sometime in their future. MF Ghost is supposedly the successor to Initial D and High Drivers will have the official license for cars from Subaru, Honda, Nissan and Toyota. As an initial D fan, thanks to you, I'm pretty excited to see the new anime about racing.

I'm aware of them both. I think a lot of people who are into Initial D of like they're not even touching MF Ghost because it's like all supercars and it's all like drone footage and all this professional stuff so the charm of initial deal is all about it's like the shittest cars you can buy and these kids 18 year olds are like racing them

and it's serious. The whole tofu delivery guy yeah it's kind of goofy and it's like shit car it's like rags to riches type thing as well the shittest car imaginable is like so good that people think it's a ghost like it's goofy but when it's like this hypercar wacing up a toge of like drone footage it's like the appeal isn't there I'm not going to touch it I get you because like while the animation I'll watch it like a few episodes just to see but it's like that's not the cast stuff I like and a lot of people in the scene that I'm in are the same but they it's like car stuff isn't isn't worth watching if there's not Eurobeat it's fair enough man with that that's the cast everybody thank you for watching

Run! Run! Run! Run! Don-dung-dung-dum-b-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-soddy-d-d-d-Saudy-D-D-D-Saudy-D-Reeds. I think that was the Saudi Prince at the door.