JAR Media Posdact - The Place on Beach Where Two Seas Meet - JARCast Episode 318

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 01:42 Housekeeping 16:44 Embracing Island Life 38:48 Mid Break 40:12 Fortnite Is Becoming The One Game Yet 45:01 Alex's Noodles 51:40 Mad Role Models 55:29 Is Superhero Fatigue Setting In? 57:54 James explains his multiple twitter accounts 58:37 £50 1:03:02 JARLing Harrassment 1:07:30 Scary Art 1:13:10 Desperate Toilet Story

Hello Good evening Good evening, good afternoon, on evening, on night, ladies and gentlemen. This is the JAR Media Posd Act, and this is episode 318. It is the usual compatriots of JAR. We're all here. A big thank you to the JAR patrons who help support the show and make audio version possible

yep any other little details to shout out there brother um james has a big rip in his undergarten my that was invisible was it well how do I know that it was there

if I didn't see it I I forgot the my underwear has a weapon Guys Guys, listen to me Yeah I guess

I'm Alex joined by Jim and James I'm Alex I'm Alex The YouTuber I'm Alex Um Yeah shout out The Jarkive RSS feed

JARMedia clips Um That's most of it Give us a 5 star on Spotify as well No on SoundCloud especially SoundCloud which we're not even on I don't think No we're not we never have been

I'm really hope to talk to you guys about something but I got to save it until after housekeeping where we round off conversations from the previous episode and we're talking about actually no no I'll let this comment to bring it in bring it into play get this conversation back rolling again the Enigma 28 left this comment saying

some great jar chaos energy in the beginning then Alex is bent role model topic Topic killed all that momentum As per usual Bent Bent you know Get bent

But Simpson probably said it No he wouldn't say get bent That's more like a bender thing to say Bender Yeah As in the robot But bender's also like a homophobic insult too Of the same vein

Oh Who's saying it was bent but that was never the joke I always assumed it was kind of a British thing to be bent to use bent as an insult no to be bent is a British thing

to be a bender but bender was Futurama which is American he went to Epstein's Island Bender went to Epstein Island Magranging Not Bender T Bender

Which, which Futurama slash Simpsons characters would have gone on that? Professor Farnsworth. Mr. Burns would have. Mr. Burns, yeah. He's like a patron of Epstein Island. Mr. Burns and Smith is just, from the nature of their dynamic,

he would have gone. Yeah. The mayor. The Mayer's Flanders? The Maya. Do you think Sligeob would get? No. No, but Krusty would.

Crusty the clown, yeah. 100% crusty Would Bart go No, I've got a controversial one What? Flanders No, did you just I said Flanders already Well, I just said it

No, I said it were more Gabbas I don't think that's controversial Flanders would Yeah, that's the dark truth After his wife was taken out Flanders would have been The Epstein Of the Simpsons universe

Well, well, Wiggum He would have gone there But by accident Like genuine accident what the police chief mm hmm no yeah that's true hmm

how did we get onto this one yeah um yeah well that's like the inverse of the discussion we're having the last episode about like role models yeah

let's just go through some of these then stash says my favorite male role model is Alex oh my god No, but listen, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you, you picked this one first for me, fuck you. Who taught me that lying to and manipulating people for my own amusement is okay. Yeah, so you guys spoke to soon, huh? Well, why?

Well, because the Great Western Spirit 28 said, hey boys, really admire Gromit from Wallace and Gromit. He's really intelligent and always finds a way to save the day. Why are you looking at you? So you disagree with that? Are you serious? Disagree with what? With Gromit being a role model. We asked the jarlings for their role models and they have given and you're...

What is wrong with this? No, Gromit's a good answer. I'd say I'm Mel Gibson from chicken run. As a role model, I guess he does come back in the end. He does. Because as a role model, he

learns the error of his ways. He identifies that he was doing something wrong and changes his attitude going forward. That is an admirable trait. Yeah, what a cock. James, there's one for you here from Vincenzo Deed. Speaking of

fictional male role models, I think a great one is the main character from Mob Psycho 100. This is an anime that on the surface is a funny show about psychics battling. But when you take a deeper look as about a kid that wants to change by not using the powers he was given and doing things the hard way, he wants to improve and accept himself, expressing his feelings outwardly. Through the whole show he grows and changes those around him as well. I think it's a show that everyone should watch no matter what you are looking for. It's interesting seeing the themes of change from a different perspective.

I've not seen it I've not seen it so I can't say but You've seen Monster though right I've started Monster and yes Dr. Tenma Well yeah matter said Considering he was talking about monster fairly recently I'm surprised James didn't bring up Dr. Tenma

During the fictional role models conversation He's probably one of the best male role models There are Yeah no I agree From what I've seen Tenma is a a G

So you're a nice friend Yeah Well big fat Punani has one for you Jim Arthur Morgan from RDR2 is a great role model Shows that anyone can change for the better And help the people around them Hmm

Yeah He kills people I mean A lot of role models kill people to be honest No Yeah Gandhi Deadpool, John Wink, Gandy.

Yeah, Gandy's killed millions. The only thing with Arthur, I'd say, is that he's not very emotionally available ever. Yeah. Doesn't it depend how you play him? No. You can't speak. You haven't played it. No, no, no.

Yeah, how was he? I've seen gameplay. I've watched the story. I watched a level. Yeah, to a degree. like no matter what no you know what i disagree with myself this guy's right yeah i think he's right no there's a lot of aspect there's an interesting one this is maybe the most interesting one someone put forward to me ice climber said this not not that that's climate ice climbing so that's just

their youtube name ned stark is a good example of a fictional male role model he holds honor above all else takes care of his family and is such a great and respected leader that the entire north rallies around his death. And that's a really interesting one because it's how noble and good he is that is the reason that he's taken out. I think with the whole world model discussion, I think wild models can embody different things.

So I think you can have a world model for a specific aspect, be it morality or perseverance or mental fortitude. And like guts is naturally... Yeah, well, seeing as you mentioned that, Yeah, Gregory Davidson said James, neglecting to mention Guts Berserk as a positive, fictional

male role model is by far the most I've ever been disappointed by him. Aside from all the times Guts has murdered children, he's a pretty cool dude. He's a symbol of unrelenting perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds, eh? Yeah, and I do agree that, like, you could

see part of Guts as a, you know, a world model for perseverance in that, you know? But at the same time, he's also used in a not-so-good way, you know, that Andrew Tate kind of grind. Right, yeah. Yeah, so you don't want to be guts. He's meant extremely mentally, or...

Quick aside. Was that in the question? That was in the question. Okay. I don't have to put you on blast. Fantastic Mr. Foot was angry, quoting, there's no good male role models, finish quote. LMAO, as if Santa Claus doesn't exist.

why do you even even include that one Alex what are you going to disagree with him yes okay um Min fat said Po from Kung Fu Panda how could I forget you know Po Po is one

He's a good one he is a very good one I completely agree He might be the best so far actually Another interesting one from Tio Chow Mike Ermintrault from breaking bad back of course all was a positive male role model that comes to mind he's a murderer but like you know that doesn't matter i i i think i'm being a murderer plays a big part

than being a role model no that's the thing this is this is like part of the role model thing is like unintentional role models hmm you know the like the like ticot music patrick bainman kind of like Tyler Durden Yeah Walter White Yeah but no That's not I mean That's like the bad part

If they're being put into role models For the one reason But they're not like being put into role models It's just like people Kind of wish they were them But without like the Analyzing it to the degree Where it's like

Oh they're like Representing a really bad thing They're representing like Something everyone kind of wants to be but for all the wrong reasons. What's interesting you say that because Crack Horse left some feedback saying I think it's interesting how much it feels like

male role models, quote unquote, have been monopolized by right wing people, Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, Elon Musk, etc. There's some truth to it. Hmm. Yeah, a little bit unfortunate because it should be Po that flashes into your mind. Yeah.

Or Spider-Man. Or Spider-Man, you know. Or Luke Skywalker. Yeah, or the uncanny, creepy Mandalorian Luke Skywalker What about Rocky? He's a great one From Rocky

Rocky 1 and 2 They're the ones I've seen Rocky from Rocky Rocky from Rocky Or Rambo from Rambo I don't know I've not seen Rambo Or Creed from

Creed Well, I've not seen Creed Hmm Well I have seen Bugs Life Who from bugs And Scolomania T said this One of my favourite role models

Is Flick from a Bug's Life He showed me as a little kid That it's important to stand Parentheses proud Clothed parentheses Up for the little guy Stand proud Is that not a projo reference

As well as As well as how one person or bug Can inspire a whole colony Of people or ants I'm going to give this guy that one That's that's yeah That's a good one Buzz Light Year for me

Nah No No Penguin Penguin Weezy Because he's really good at singing Pretty much

Did you ever get around to Toy Story James What type of question is that? Did I ever get around to Toy Story? Like, do you think I'm like a fucking alien? Like, I didn't watch Toy Story. Like, you didn't really get Toy Story. Like, you didn't want it in your life. No, I've seen Toy Story 1 and 2 and 3.

Leave it there. Yeah, I'm not going to watch... Yeah, I'm not going to watch... Yeah, I've seen... Toy Story 4 is trash. And I'm not a fan. Is that where you're going to plant your flag? Why do you say that like it's controversial?

I feel like people like it Toy Story 4 It's really bad If you had to guess What do you think it's like average score is on MDB right now 6? 7.5 Yeah Yeah sort of in the 7 realm

It's got 7.7 Hmm Toy Story 4 Too high It should be like a 6 That's extremely high Yeah I should be even lower Well I mean

For me Like I could see how it would please certain audiences, but I think, right. And the reason is because it's lacking the male role model of Buzz. The crack dealing Wheeler Dealer. Buzz was, he was sidelined hard. Yeah.

And Buzz and Woody, they're the dudes, you know? And the whole story is about, like, Woody becoming a traitor. Yeah. You know? And you don't see Buzz being like, bro, what's up? You know? It's basically Red Dead

too, but if Arthur left the gang and it was like fine. Yeah. So garbage. Yeah. It's basically like Breaking Bad if Jesse just sort of dipped. Hmm. What I think is the one that's about the toy soldiers. I think that's better.

Oh, small soldiers. The DreamWorks movie. Oh, damn. Yeah. That is fire. That's an amazing throwback. For some reason, it's like it's always like a, poor memory of that movie because it was really freaky it was a little bit weird. Yeah. It's really scary. Yeah. There's the whole Barbie scene where they're all like mutated.

Mm. What an awesome film. It's really shit though. Really good. No, it's awesome. It's got like a five on on IMDB. No, wasn't it the Gremlin's guy? No, I think it's a great movie and I have fond memories of it. It's a masterpiece. It's, because like, when you're a kid and you watch

something that viscerally, like, frightening. Yeah. It's staged. Yeah. And then you're just like, man, I, like, that was horrifying, but I want to see it again. Yeah. Like, I want to feel that, like. Kirsten Dunst is in it?

David Cross. David Cross. Dennis Leary? What the hell? Isn't it? Tommy Lee Jones. Kevin Dunn. Yeah, Tommy.

Oh, yeah, he's the voice of the soldier. Yeah, he's the soldier. He's the small soldier. Let's go. It's all coming back to me. Yeah, what a cracking film. Freak it. Christina Ritchie's in it.

This is crazy. Okay. Why does it say on the poster, big, oh, I get it. Big movie, Small Soldiers. Damn,

I like that. It's a little bit, boo. What? Oh, damn. It's something. It's scary, man.

It's so frightening. Oh, my God. It is a free. movie well seeing i was speaking on small soldiers already i got something i want to talk to you guys about do you remember at the end of small soldiers they kind of go on a little boat and it pushed off to go on their own yeah yeah well i've been thinking about something that we should be honestly contemplating more and building into our personalities literally 10,000 times more than we already do go on like and it seems so obvious that i'm actually annoyed of

all of us for not thinking of it sooner. Yeah. Guys, we're islanders. Oh, for God's sake. Well? Eh? Does that now get to you?

We're island dwellers. We are living island life. Just because we're not Hawaii. What? But what? What difference does it make? Because like people like the romanticize Hawaii, it's like somewhere you want to go. No, just because you don't want to come here doesn't make you not an island.

But like, look outside the past like five weeks. That's not my point. Just because people don't want to come here doesn't mean it's not an island. And we're not islanders. But maybe maybe the fact that it's an island. island isn't the important bit. It's like it's important to me and that's my culture and why

why why we suddenly like I've never considered like that we're on an I we are on an we are on an island but it's not on island worth visiting so why does it matter how does that? Nah you're still an islander no I don't double islanders we've gone island to island yeah we went from we're like triple

we're triple islanders because we went to Jersey Island too yeah that's a tiny no because I disagree is worth visiting I disagree. I think the UK is too big to be an island. For us to say... It's literally... It is literally. I know. I know it's an island. But I'm saying like you're trying to associate yourself with this island life as if you're an islander. I'm not trying to associate myself with any. No, but we're not islanders because we're from the UK. If we were like I'd say... Not like from Ireland. No, but I would say... Yeah, we're islanders. But I would say...

known as the Irish, by the way, not islanders. That's what I thought maybe was getting lost and the threads were getting crossed over here. No, no, but it's like with Ireland, I'd say that they can... Like, island, like the place or... Island, the place, I would say they can associate themselves of being islanders because the other island there all is significantly smaller. It's not about size. I think it is.

Is New Zealand and Ireland? Yes. Australia, an island. Australia is not an island. No. Shut the fuck up. Obviously, Australia is an island, but it's like, when you say you're an islander...

Is Japan an island? Yes. So why is the UK not on Ireland? No, no. No, no, the UK is a fucking... By definition, the UK is an island. Yeah. So why are we not islanders now?

No, listen. Are Japanese islanders? I would say, yeah. I would say, but I think, it's not, no, listen, let me you fucking explain. No, because obviously you're trying to associate us, like, is an islander, like, typically it means like a, you know what comes to mind, you know, a very small community on an island, like, where, where, shall I Google Islander? Okay, get the actual definition and we can base off of it. Let's see what the tech and God says. But I don't, I, I'm not on island.

Islander. Yes you are. No. Islander referring to Jersey people. Only Jersey people. And New Zealand people. New Zealand English term usually meaning Pacific Islander. Yeah, exactly. Pacific Islander. We're not in the Pacific.

So you can't identify yourself to the name Islander. No, but New Zealand is. No, no, but... Well, so, yeah, Alex... So we are... You are... No, you are, you're part white, you're half white. Your heart...

You can use... You can use the ur, just not on the island, beforehand. So we're errs. Can I have my Pepsi, please? Oh, yeah. Whip out the barrel. Sorry, bro, it was in the barrel.

That's interesting, that. I can't believe we're triple. islanders. No, but you were wrong. About what? We're only double. Because it doesn't refer to British. Yeah, we're not in the Pacific.

We're in the Atlantic, Alex. I wasn't using it like the real definition. I was using it as like the char definition. So we can find out reality and then warp it to what we need it to be. No, no, Pacific. It's Pacific specific. No, it's not Pacific-specific.

We are Atlantic and we're not fantastic. So you have a. philosophical issue with being, us being island. What about island dwellers? We are island dwellers. I would say we're island dwellers, yes. Not islanders. We don't even dwell, though.

No. If we're not dwelling here, what is it we are doing? Destroying. Yeah. Utilizing. That is dwelling. Oh, it's not. We're wallowing.

Yeah, we're wallow. We're definitely island wallowers. Okay, is that? We're wallowing in the new Fortnite Battle Pass. Fortnite Battle Pass. Every season I pay for the full battle pass and never even launched one game I never even started

I just want to jerk off to skins No because you've got to buy the skin You have to play the game to unlock the skins bro Oh really? Like you think if you buy Chonlea season You ain't getting Chonlea You just buy the boost until you get Chonleau? No I think he's just

No we're getting too caught up in Chaloo What difference does it make living on an island we never see the sea When's the last time you saw the sea? Uh It was Out the window What?

From the car From the car? Yeah When was the last time you saw the sea A few months ago? It was a few months ago But I mean like That's not fair

That's quite a lot When's the last time James saw the sea? Years ago But that doesn't matter If you live in the middle of the island Which we do We don't live in the middle of the island, which we do we don't live in the middle we do we're hours away from the beach no we're like

an hour of Bristol yeah that's a sea yeah but temple meets bro yeah um bro we don't live in the middle of our of the UK we live in Wiltrend but but that's but I'm saying like we don't it's not like we're some coastal like community yeah we are we are man We're farmers. But like, yeah. Yeah. But how does us being on an island

affect anything? Yeah, it doesn't. It affects everything. No, it doesn't. How? No, doesn't. Look at how much it costs to import things to our island. Are you trying to, like, trigger me especially or something?

Not intentionally. Is this going to turn into a Brexit discussion? No, you're the one pulling it there. I wasn't bringing it there. I wanted to keep it nice and fruity and flowery. yeah but you kind of fall apart when you talk about the UK in general yeah and then importing it's like where else are we going to exporting exporting as well

yeah what do we export cheese not even cheese we don't import the majority of cheese cheese used to be British what is cheese now Italian French look at what's happened to cheese I don't think true of words it ever been spoken yeah I just love that those those clear passion there when she went on one of them cheese the one time she rallied the people together it got her

to this is a disgrace if it's like does she actually eat English cheese because it's shit no cheddar's nice yeah cheddar but then that's it yeah exactly would a British one no that's from Applewood I like Mexicana where's that from Cathedral City No but you guys Let's just settle this Let's settle this Is it the cathedral in the city

Let's settle this Which cathedral? Listen I'm listening So you guys You're against the term of islanders You don't like that But you're okay I just don't think it's appropriate

Is it objectively true No No you literally read the definition Of course it's not No I ignore that No because is it objectively true just to ignore the no it's just Wikipedia it could be lies

no no when ask anyone what comes to mind when they think of island ask anyone if um if we were born and raised on an island we're islanders no okay no if you ask someone what's an islander the first thing that's going to come to their mind is Pacific

specific No No no that is true That's what came to my mind No The majority of people If you said What is an islander

They'd say someone from an island They probably say someone from island No The question isn't What are Irish What slash who are the Irish So I guess to a degree Alex You're right

I disagree I don't think Alex is right How am I wrong? What you do? Go on explain it. The definition proves you wrong. No, okay, if you're worried on the definition then, are we officially island dwellers and you're okay with that title?

We are island dwellers because we dwellers. So I want us to actually take a step back for a second and actually appreciate what it means to actually be an islandweller. Like it's in our D-R-A. Everything's on Ireland. D-R-A. What the hell is D-R-A? Everyone is on an island.

No, no, I knew it was going to go there. Yeah, this is why I knew it was going to go there. No, no, no, no, no, no. What do you mean? A continent is an island? It's not. I'm afraid it's not. No, I'm pretty sure it's a size thing, right?

It's like a proportional size thing. It makes it an island. Yeah. And you think the UK doesn't, isn't proportionally too big to be in Ireland? No. No. No, the, an island has to be off the coast of a continent. Mm.

Anything, no, but. No, but think when sea levels wise, everything's going to be an island. No, you're changing it. No, that's true, though. That's like factually true. Then things will become islands. Like, surely, surely then, like Spain, Portugal is an island. How?

You just have to cut off the little bit that connects it to your European. Yeah, but they're attached physically by land. Madagascar is an island. Yeah, it literally is. Yeah, but why? Off the coast of Africa. never get angry at someone from Alagascar saying they live the island life.

Because they do. They're in the Pacific. Doesn't matter, man. No, this is, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to call... I'm going to have to call BS. What? In what way? To what? Oceans. Yes, what about oceans? There are not separate oceans.

There is one ocean. No, there's one ocean, but there's multiple different seas. The seas. There's one sea. The Baltic Sea? When you're out at sea, right, in your, on your jet ski, right? And you go from the Atlantic to the Pacific. Then if you're going to go that far, then the little lake by us is technically the sea.

No. How is that the sea? No. Where's the line? It's the same even with... It's a geographical thing, not like a literal... Every ocean is coming. connected therefore that we've got one ocean the Pacific is in a different um no but it's just

lines we've drawn no not not true that the the Atlantic and Pacific oceans are in different what's the word Alex when it's like cold and warm like when Napoleon dynamite went oh fuck shut the fuck up you mean they're north and south and no there's a fucking word quadrants I didn't know geographical like region hemispheres okay tectonic plates the Pacific and Atlantic are not the same they might be connected but because they occupy past they are they're they are they are but they's different because Atlantic is now Pacific is there's a fish don't matter no I know I think it does matter you have to even if they're connected they still occupy different parts of the

world where the environment in each is significantly different there's like a line and obviously there's that literal place in the world where two sees me and they're completely different they're completely different Alaska in America is cold whereas Texas is very hot they're very different places but they're America do you know what I mean like we're just naming shit no no but I think that's correct I think what I'm saying is correct but it's one big body of water it might be Alex pull up the picture what do you want me to Google

the place funny earth images no the place where two sees meet I'll just search two sees meat Is that the Aquaman sequel Two seas

Meet roads Oh it's a place in beach Where the two sees meet That's the title For the car No but do you understand what I'm saying No, but you, do you understand what I'm saying?

What are you talking about, the pair of you? Like, why are you actually talking about? The fact that we've given the C's different names. Yeah, because they're different geographical reasons. But, but like, there's a geographical reason why. Then it's not, like. What is the geographical reason then? Alex Phillip.

Alex, Philip. Alex. to be in one place and see two seas at the same time it sounds incredible but when I came to that island of roads I bet you they're going to look the same I found out that it is possible

fucking completely different how what's the difference is one bluer than the other yeah what are you guys actually talking about we're talking about the different seas I've got a sea shanty for you Yeah, the Cape Point where the Atlantic and Indian Ocean meet

Whoa That can't be real No, it's literally will That's some Sinbad stuff Simbad rocked I like that film. Sinbad, legend of the Brad Pitt cool. Was it Brad Pitt?

Yep. Let's go. Brad Pitt's my male role model. Yeah, it's the tip of Africa. Where the Indian and Atlantic oceans meet. But what is, what do you mean? I'm saying, I'm saying that ocean is just a lot of water.

It's like a ball and the water around it. I actually would be not. Yeah. And I don't see the point in, being like, right, this bit of water is the Pacific and hmm, this bit is well, that's the Atlantic

you know? It's like what... Right. It's all just a like a heap of water. Like that place in America where you can stand in like four states at once. Yeah. I'm being torn between the the multiverse of America portal.

okay what have you learned like have a conclusion now they're different that's my conclusion is the oceans are different they might literally be one ocean in the world but they're different you mean the seas the ocean look I'm gonna say you're probably right because they are named different it's not about naming though well it is We just use a way to confirm they are different. That's what names are for. If we both had the same names,

name would we be different? I just want to point out something interesting. I want to point out something interesting. Yeah. It's extremely interesting how this topic devolved into that when I was just asking a question in earnest. Why is that interesting? is it not obvious no it's actually not obvious well well i don't care what the newspapers say i'm gonna keep calling myself an islander

newspaper tomorrow and it's going to say Alex is not an islander he's lying is this a great new identity problem in the UK now that we yeah I wish that's what we're arguing over you know something cool like that

the anti-islanders versus the islanders yeah oh so you think it should like come up in PM question that should be like the current culture war that should be our concern. So Rishi, are we or aren't we islanders?

I think, would you think Rissy would, where'd you think his stance would be? Like, what's the stance? Rishi would say we're not. So do you think it's a more of a progressive thing to say we are? Like a, like a Labour or green pie? And the more, more regressive why you think we aren't? I'd say the Green Party would say we aren't islanders at the minute, but we should strive to become islanders why how do you become one you got to invent by living the island life yeah the actual but I guess we never define what the island life is not the UK no it is the UK and I disagree I don't think it's

UK I'd say it's going crabbing at least being good at swimming yeah you can't swim in UK waters so therefore no no it genuinely gives you like at least nine STD. The sirens are quite frightening, but aside from them, it's all right. Nobody in the UK go swimming in our oceans. They do, they put on wetsuits and then they go in. Why would you, though?

No, why would you willingly choose? To connect with nature and get that salty goodness all over you. You can't... Drys me out. Yeah. No, sea salt. I see sea salt. Sea salt, walcles, crisps.

I think... The English ocean is nicer than the Spanish ocean. I don't like how it's shifted from France to Spain No no no no no no no no no I just wait no listen But I don't like how it's shifted from France being the enemy to Spain being the enemy No it's only because I have a core memory of being like 14 13 14 on a holiday in Spain And this dude just walks like knee deep into the ocean pulls his trunks down and just starts pissing Like cock out and everything I've got a photographic

image of that like 60 year old man's like gross back yeah yeah and his his cock i i i i i the spanish ocean is probably nice than the english ocean because it might be warmer more dangerous um yeah more bacteria can just more urine yeah and i got stung by something you did you don't even know what it was yeah freak me out it felt like a bit of paper I bet it was like Peter Griffin with like a little That was the worst Peter Griffin laugh I don't want to talk about Spain

Because I haven't been And I feel like I would misrepresent The nation if I started talking shit on Spain Why would you start talking shit? Spain is lovely Yeah no that's why I'm going this year I'm going to Spain Prove it

You're just going right now Well, we'll see after these. Bye bear, bear, bear. I do declare buy bear bear bear. Bear Bear Bear shirts and mug available now. Check the description below. What's it? Your mom? Battle block. the battle bus the battle bus movie

let's jump out the battle boss this is being a little grammy Alex quick role play like your like IRL in Fortnite and you're about to jump out the battle bus I don't think I can do this guys

you don't have a choice we have to get this done Alex just pretending as if he was falling this is before you jump no I'm picturing like you know the ramps just come down and like the winds blasting it okay okay I can't do it I don't have you gotta be in it to win it bro

but I didn't buy the battle pass you can still make progress towards the battle pass even if you didn't buy it and that that is the genius of a battle pass yeah end no honestly let's let's actually talk about our feelings on the new like fortnight update given that we watched like all the reveal trailers and launched trailers today we watched about like three hours worth of fortnight content

all the reveal trailers and launched trailers and what actually is it what have they done to it they've made it epic modio epic have made it more epic somehow and turned it into even more of a what do you call it a mission maker yeah they've made

an update to scratch remember scratch Oh, Scratch, yeah Mission Maker for She's about to give me a scratch By the looks of things Yeah, mission maker A bit of Halo Forge Bit of Mass Effect multiplayer in there

Dead Space 2 Multiplayer Really good multiplayer Yeah, what are we talking about? The Fortnite Fals? Oh yeah, Fortnite So like

I guess Dark Souls is in Fortnite now or something. Yeah. Really shit Dark Souls there. But Modern Warfare 2 literally is in Fortnite now, though. So it's got like created tools where you can just make any game within Fortnite now.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just how it would be now. Yeah, I mean, it's it's just one step closer to like us not needing another video game. Yeah, I think like it would be, you turn on your PS5 and it just

auto plays Fortnite. I think it will be more like you turn on your TV and Fortnite is just like on it. You know? Yeah. The banana guy just silently just takes you where you got to be.

Yeah. I just find it like amazing that like the I didn't see Fortnite ending up this way when we first like play that beta. But this this is the messed up thing. I think in hind sight um ready player one might be the biggest masterpiece of cinema to predict the future ever made but remember it's a book it was a book yeah and and and and the writer of said book was like he he was asleep or something and he was like fortnight battle pot chun lee i heard he designed

yeah and and then it's like because it has every IP they've they've consumed all these IPs so then it's like oh so they can just make God of war they can make Halo God they can make it with remotes I saw a clip of like Master Chief

and it looked better than Halo Infinite well I mean my fucking poo your poo does what looks better than Halo Infinite oh yeah no the sad process of all the Halo YouTubers abandoning Halo Infinite is happening now. Quite right.

Yeah. Yeah, what are we talking about? Has Billy always had like a nip on her ear? He's got like a little chunk tick, yeah. Oh, that was from her fight. That was from her throwdown. That is very cool. I love it.

I love that little detail about her. It's how you define Billy. They should start adding that to the creator clash, have like animals, yeah? What? like animals fighting like YouTuber animals Jesus What's wrong with that

Like cock fighting Yeah but cooler I think that would be I think Dog fighting I think that would Like the majority of YouTuber animals I swear like

They're all kind of like YouTube kids to have a few brawes You know What child fighting YouTuber's kids No you know like There are those baby channels Where there's like

You know that kid who's on all those toys that looks miserable. Him, like, fighting, you know? That kid who builds Lego or something. They're allowed one weapon that they build themselves.

Out of Lego? Out of whatever toy channel gimmick they do. Okay. So if it's like mystery eggs, like one of them can only fight with mystery eggs. What's a mystery egg? You don't know. It's what battle, no, what are they called?

Luke Crate. Lute crates were based on, you know? You know, real life? Hello, what's out there? No, I don't care about eggs. That's not true. Mystery, you love eggs. I like real age.

Yeah, you've been on like an egg. I like eggs that don't have a mystery. I know what I'm getting. Yoke. Before we go into Reddit questions, I want to remind the jarlings that this afternoon I may introduce you guys to my noodles. You did. You did.

I want your takes on my noodles. They were fucking fire, dude. They were fire. There's literally, you can just cut it in. There's, uh, there's video proof of my opinion on these noodles. James was just in the goon hole and then, he was like, those fucking noodles dude, they're fucking fire, bear. I, I could be entering the goon hole with it.

The noodle goon. Yeah. It opens a few windows for you. straight up but also like the the strategy of like you're boiling the noodles and you use the steam to steam the eggs above the it's like you got levels bro i've been i've been finessing this for months yeah i didn't realize it was like this it's been building see the only thing is how do you like because obviously with the noodles there's the you know the instructions where it's like oh how much water to put in but obviously that's that the noodles soak up all their water so what do you add to like get that nice brookies I'll add a little bit more water because I like there being a bit of excess broth, you know? But I'd say there's a lot more than just an excess amount of broth. What do you mean, what you're saying there's too much broth?

No, there's just a lot of broth. So how much water did you actually get that broth? I put about 50 to 100 milliliters in extra. Okay, I can work with that. I should, I'll try it tomorrow, I can then see. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to find my secret Twitter if you want. secret Twitter if you want the ultimate noodle

recipes and that's fire but it was a very very nice noodle noodle I'm glad you guys enjoyed I did do you finally understand no because it was the coolest thing because like normally every time we record it's like what we eat and let's get the wheel to decide

oh not the wheel randomizer I hate the wheel randomizer yeah no you only hate it because I've won on the two times Yeah. Every time. Yeah. So it was nice to just have you be like, I'm making noodles or you're not eating. And it was like, how are you?

You're making noodles. And it was a bomb ass noodle. Yeah, it was fire. It was fucking fire. It was hot as well. Yeah, it was fire. I turned right into Poe's father for that. Yeah, I could see the channeling of...

You should get into making dumplings. Yeah. Mm. Well, I think the next step would actually be in. to making my own broths from scratch. Yeah. What I think you should do is make your own noodle from scratch. Damn.

Too far. No, no, you can do it. A bit excessive. Yeah. But I think that's the next like goon stuff. I think it's worth a shot. To become a noodle farmer. No, it's my quail farm.

And then use the quare legs. No, we're not talking about quails. Why? No, because, no, we all get to ban at least one topic at minus quails. Okay, what topic? What topic do you ban gems? I was going to ask you first, it gives me time. I feel like I've banned topics before.

No, no, there is a topic that is banned. Marvel. No, I don't agree to that. No, I don't agree to that. I don't agree to Quails. Sorry. No, because I... Yeah, I'll be two out three.

No, we all get to ban a topic. No, but then we can never talk about Marvel ever again. Good. Okay, say goodbye to our entire listener base. I'm willing to sacrifice the Marvel fans. With James says Marvel, I say cars. Okay. I will retract my Marvel suggestion.

That was a close call right there. I'm glad he chose Marvel, not DC. That's true. I love D.S. I actually know there's one I can ban EC You're actually serious Yeah, I'll ban

UC right now Alright, let's see Or something even sinister What? Something sinister James has banned Something more, something more Yeah, no, no the next thing

If I can't ban EC Then I'll ban the next best thing what is the next best thing the thing I've hated more than anything all along that's difficult when it goes to challenge no no there's one clear there's one clear like option you gotta say yeah dick the head you would ban dick absolutely I've hated dick since day one

that's the least James thing you've ever said that's no no I've had I have hated dick always Wandy? If you has to get rid of Randy or Dick, which? Mandy. Oh my God.

Maybe Randy's better than I think. Would you also get rid of Wandy? Randy or Dick? Randy, yeah. That's an official band about Wandy getting banned. Is Randy banned? Yep.

What about Spide? Is he allowed that? That's Spide, wrong, sir? Okay. Okay, that's fine. Randy's gone. Randy's gone and he's never coming back. Damn, that's going to upset some folks.

So you shot yourself on the foot there? It could have been Marvel, but now is Wendy. So Randy's not allowed to come back and review Marvel ever again. Nope. But we're allowed to review Marvel there. Oh, at the moment, they don't have anything worth of viewing anyway. No, they do. It's going to be.

modoc in Ant-Man No, don't The Ant-Man and the Wasp Now we're gonna do a watch-along to Ant-Man

was it three or four Ant-Man four I thought it was five Ant-Man five Spike is three crossover event Yeah well this is the part of the show

We head over to the JARMedia subreddit And just have a look at Billy Being cute for a few minutes Yeah, well, there's a suggestion throw where you can ask us questions, just like Gabrielle is God did. Now, I know you guys aren't going to be happy about this question, and neither am I. But it needs to be asked. JAR, rank the Madagascar characters on who is the best role model.

Oh. I think this is a new angle. Alex, Alex is number one. he's the biggest best role model Marty, he's the worst person He's a third No, Marty is number one Marty's not number one

He's number three to two Marty's above Alex Yeah Marty is above Alex Marty is the role model I disagree I think the um The giraffe is Melvin

Melvin He's too He's too cowardly Okay He's like the cowardly lion What He's a giraffe No but I'm saying

you know, The Wizard of Oz, the cowardly lion. Then you got to Glory. I think Gloria's a bit of a role model. No. No. Glory is the opposite of a role model. Yeah, she's a bad person. She's a horrible person. Yeah, she's a narcissistic, horrible...

I think Motto is the will role model. He's like... He's a bit of a role model. He's like the... You could imagine him with a Red Pill podcast. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're white there. Yeah.

The thing is, there's not much like, like, separation between Motto Motto and his voice actor. Oh, Will I Am? Yeah. Very what? Did you not know this? Will I Am is Motomoto? Yeah, did you actually not know? No.

He made the song, everything. He did the whole soundtrack to Matt, too. Just for some reason, it completely flew over my head. Yeah, man. There's always, that's the thing about that trilogy. There's always something new that's like, going to come back. It's just like, whoa. Actual role model, the zookeeper.

Is she a zookeeper? The animal police woman. The French woman. Yeah. Why? She's got drive. She's got drive. She's got power.

Would she have one of those, like, Red Pill podcast where it's like a woman saying the red pill thing so they no yeah yeah no I disagree I don't think so why she's French yeah and they're very left wing

they literally love fucking the system they love decapitation well there's only one there's one more person to rank one more king Actually, two more.

Yeah, King Julian and, um... I'd say he's a good role model. King Julian is an awful role model. Why? He's a dictator. Yeah, but he's like... Like, people respect him. And he's a dick taker.

We're talking about Mort. Okay. Um... What? I'm just not gonna address that. Mort's a horrible role model. The grandma. But the grandma's a bad role model as well.

Yeah, she is a bad role model. She immediately goes to violence. Yeah. Any situation. She's kind of like a woman's version of Cratos. Yeah. Like, imagine her past. Yeah?

When are they going to do that prequel? That's where there's room to expand. Yeah. I knew there was something lacking. Hmm. Well, guys, the softest bulletin has this to say. Oh, thank God, Marvel isn't bad. Now that it's safe to say

Super Era movies are well underway declining in popularity Do you think it's more likely The main cinematic universes Will simply fade into the background And keep going For many years to come With a lower budget and box office presence

And ultimately rebooting Like what comics have become today Or will they just implode altogether Do you think the format of the cinematic universe Is here to stay? They're not going to disappear there has been like a noticeable string of ones not performing there i think it's black adam ant man shazam yeah i i think um what he says is kind of correct like the the way comic books have been

this like oh this this this run was good but this one sucked this yeah yeah yeah they just get so convoluted to the point where it's too much yeah yeah okay we got to like critical mass and then just explode and then there's a new one. Which is probably why like multi-verses have always been so... They're not going anywhere. And like all the solo ones are still going to exist and do really well, like Batman. I think it probably just feels more dire right now

because of how bad Marvel is too. Yeah, they're sort of like the status quo. Uh-huh. So if they're doing poorly, then all of them are going to do poorly. But I'm also just convinced that they'll be able to get the milk from the stone from the Fox deal for like a lot of time you but it depends how they do it yeah if they

screw that then I think yeah they'll be in trouble if they screw that but we're talking about this like yesterday or something um about how like yeah it is just becoming tired and confusing and it's like is if you're not someone who's into all this and you go see the know as Shazam like do you even know that like what universe it's in like do you know that I don't know I don't know what people like are looking for from this at this point yeah and I don't know what the general audience yeah because it felt like end game ended and then it was like okay whatever yeah we'll see Spider-Man but outside of that like whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah pretty much well yeah

James, they got one for you here from Pill and Face. Why does James have two separate Twitter accounts? Because on one of them, loads of cool Japanese people follow me, and I don't want to embarrass myself. And on the other one is where I just get drunk and post shit. Because it's the account I got banned for for calling Bar Shonson and a c- And I deleted that for a reason, and now I just use it to post shit. Because you're a pro-bo now, won't you? Huh?

No, I'm not pro-bo. I'm anti-bow. But it's a simple case of I like chatting shit. It's just fun. Fair enough. We got one for you, Jim, from Punished Pizza. Hey, boys, question for Beast. Hey, man.

That schmuck sitting next to you owes you 50 quid. What are you going to do about it? I've only recently cleared some of my debt with Jamie. That's true. And this is debt that, like, wasn't even known. known by the podcast. I've been proactive in resolving that. So the £50 bet for the silly GTA thing

is just not valid. No, it's not valid. Shut up, it's not valid. On a technicality. You've got to decide that. I've excused myself on a technicality. You didn't make yourself clear in the time. She got in debt with a loan shock and you were like,

sorry guys, on a technicality, I'm just going to clear my debts. It didn't really count Because what is the Denicality there is no technicality No because there wasn't announced at the time In the period of which I said Yeah There was something

What you said is that it would be out Who the fuck says that that's dumb as fuck? You said that You made the better You can't say who would say that You said it Yeah and I was dumb as fuck But I was correct

Because something was something came That does not make you correct. No, it does. On a technicality, you should have been more specific. Someday when you have a lot more money, you will just give it to me. Yeah, and guess what? It can't be any time. You think interest rates are high now?

You should see what Jim is charging interest in. No, no, because at the end of bay, I'm still, the new bet is one I've not lost on yet. He neither. But that was a mutual thing. That was like a challenge. Yeah. But both eyes were doing good. Yeah.

What, did you double or nothing or something? No, it's a totally separate thing Yeah It's a New Year's resolution I guess Yeah, in a way It's like a competition Like if Because James and I were both

Regularly buying meal deals We were being sloppy We were being sloppy in preparation Yeah So we made a deal that it's just like Whoever buys The first one of us to buy a meal deal Yes

Has to give the other how much 20 pound There you go And so far I've done everything in my pad Is not buy one And I'm just working yeah same and as a result

I spent significantly more money because I'm falling back in the routine of not preparing for lunch and I just buy something from the shops and I buy like a pasta meal dish not a meal deal wow yeah no I've done similar things in dire situations where I've bought like just the sandwich from a meal deal

yeah because it's gotta be the meal deal but it does work out as cheaper if you buy just the sandwich it's like I don't want some innocent smoothie in a fucking pork pie. No, you do. No, but those things those... No, but I'm buying more even though I don't want more. No, but the

meal deal, a meal deal is special. The same for a meal deal. It's not a deal. It's not a deal. I hate how it's like oh, get these three things and you get a discount. It's like, no, the discount is like the actual price. Do you get what I'm saying?

Please tell me more. I think... No, don't tell me more. If they can afford to give you the deal. No, I don't want to know about meal deals. Then it's not a deal. Alex is the only buy his meal deals who's bought the most meal deals this year. Not true. I buy noodles for one pound.

No, but you bought a meal deal. You've bought mill deals. I bought meal deals and I'm not part of your whole schism. I know, but you know how could the meal deal can be. When you get a good meal deal, it does make your day. Yeah, but I'm not anti them like you guys. I will have one. No, Alex, I want to...

No, Alex, I want to... You're wrong. I want to... I want a meal deal, I want a meal deal more than anything. My heart craze the meal deal, but I'm not losing. Break the bet then. I'm not, I refuse. Just, just, I've lost, Alex, I've lost every bet with Jamie.

I'm not losing this one. But you've won every wheel randomizer, so swings and roundabouts. Yeah, but of those, of those ones, which, which have we actually eaten? None. That's not true. On the first day, we got curry. No, on the first one, I won curry. Guess what I didn't order curry.

second one that was your choice yeah but I'm still owed a curry from that choice no the second one you got what you wanted and we got it what was that curry we do get very oh we got on a second one now guys there's this question we need to do because

sometimes we get a jarling who I mean god damn we love them but sometimes they can be borderline harassment tier um Like a final afternoon 3-319 has been on the subreddit Right

But he's been asking this question Every single week, a month Okay, what's the question? And every single week It is downvoted to hell So charlings don't like this No, okay, you're gonna have to let us in on what this question is And it, and I'm prefaceing it now, it's awful

like it's really bad I'm not even going to read the last line because it's like borderline offensive to be honest I didn't even notice that bit so what do you reckon it's a would you rather oh fuck sake

A eat a pizza made out of Brad Pitt's cheese the pizza is made out of Brad Pitt's cheese from you know where the cheese was extracted cleanly from Pitt by Margo Robbie over several months and then was given to the most talented

Italian chefs in the business to make the pizza or B eat Margo Robby's scrambled eggs the eggs were fertilized by Brad Pitt and extracted and given to Gordon Ramsey to make the best

scrambled eggs he can make whose bodily extract do you gobble they're both fucking brad pissed

yeah okay no but what was the last the line the line the line

oh my oh my oh my oh what oh my god That's not true though Yeah, that's why I'm not reading it

What deranged places this person got that view from It's a deranged would you rather to be... It's a deranged would you rather, but it's like eating Brad Pitt's seed or his cheese Yes, either eating Brad Pitt's cheese or Brad Pitt's egg cheese I'm gonna go both I'm gonna say I want those Gordon Ramsey seed eggs over the Italian I think even if you gave

Brad Pitt's cheese pizza to like dominoes even the best Italian chef or pizza patisserie is not going to make a good pizza of that cheese but I think with eggs the base the baseline for the eggs is like yeah like eggs are basically already just

like come anyway aren't they really what else are they what huh what hello I think you just drifted off for a moment there bro

hello no did you just say eggs are cum no they're not is that eggs are just come pretty much

I guess a fertilised egg have you seen have you put an egg in water and it's got a crack in it yeah and then oh and then it like leaks yeah

yeah it's what you're saying yeah I don't, I disagree. It looks like, yeah. Yeah, no, it's kind of coming. Yeah, they're very coming. Not in the bath. Yeah.

I missed that. What the fuck did you just? Did you just say, not in the bath? Yeah. When describing an egg that's correct. holy shit yeah so I think that pretty much answers that one no yeah you're

it's true I'm going to have to go home and do some research speaking of bathtubs bathtub Tom left this what's art has genuinely scared you recently for me it was the jar media creepy pastor from last cast

but other than that I recently been playing an indie horror game called Darkwood which Jim recommended about a year or two ago which can confirm make me want to shit myself. What are you talking about like what type of scared is in like what art has genuinely scared you recently?

Well you can be scared in different ways, can you? Yep. There's like the scary thing or there's like the concept of reality is scary and the depravity of reality and the human condition is

also like human condition is very scary yeah so I guess in a way you'd probably say incendi yeah being last night was when I watched it

yeah I was surprised when you said you'd check that one out yeah wanted to check out denny his filmography yeah it's a very good one very sad yeah very

generally just horrifying but yeah that is a good early one of this it's a great movie so I would say that yeah

it does have some scary scenes um trying to think for me what was the last thing that scared me the back rooms did you watch it no but I watched a video on it yeah that was my one too

yeah it's like it was like a 4chan I know I know of the back oh you know what it is yeah that YouTube channel and just like what about the back rooms like what is creepy there's this this like 16 year old kid

right has made like CG video Yeah, I know the videos Yeah, and they're like really scary Because it's a liminal space It's a liminal office space Yeah, and using that sort of space

Yeah But there's one in particular, it's like 12 minutes long It's just this guy who's stuck in the back rooms Like being pursued by this like creature Yeah, and the creature is like really It's so obviously not real But it's so like perfectly scary It's like yeah, it's just uncanny enough to be like

Yeah I think isn't there like a dialogue where people people believe that the backrooms, they got not scary the moment they added in monsters. That is like a, yeah, that is a take I see people have. Like the more deep you go into the backrooms, the more like monster it becomes and therefore it's kind of not as scary as like the idea. Any one of these like creepy pastures were when, when Slender Man becomes the fan up with the suits and the smile and everything.

Yeah, yeah, like it stops being scary. But from, from this video I watched like, spoilers for the backers for the backers. creams but part of the plot is that like instead of it it usually it's like evil corporation tries to do something spooky whereas that they're just it's just like a corporation or a government or whatever trying to utilize the back rooms for like infinite space mm-hmm like housing yeah yeah and and i think using that idea is super cool and kind of yeah well that yeah it makes it 824 is funding this teenager's movie adaptation so I think that's yeah yeah that's cool and a good good answer to this question the only other thing I can think of is really dead space remake yeah that's that scared the shit

at me it's got some good good good frights even with someone who like knows the first game quite because they have these like they built that system the intensity yeah yeah system or whatever at score but it's like yeah it's always unpredictable it's more tense though than I feel scary to me that's suppose yeah it's not like spooky like

I get scared when the lights are turned off at home do you ever get like you're going to the toilet late at night and you just get the idea of like seeing something in the mirror behind you yeah or I just decide that like if I look down the stairs right now there'd be like

a naked man like frozen with like a yeah just some some creepy you just like picture a freaky thing the most horrible thing that could be in that moment yeah and then it might as well be real yeah that's the scariest um my my

I used to have this just because of the now it's just like where my womb is and where the bartham is it's such a short distance where it's like that never comes into my mind because I'd like never look anything anywhere. But there's the classic thing of like when you've put a coat on a desk chair or something. Yeah.

You wake up and see that in the night and it's like, oh, there's a dude sitting on that chair. Yeah. I remember like growing up, I think our mom had this like, it was this thing you'd store clothes on and it was kind of like the silhouette of a human that like made out of metal. Yeah. always put clothes on it and if you're like yeah you have to retrieve something from the parents room and it's like just dark enough and you just see that silhouette and your brain's just like that is a human oh my god it depends because obviously there's a there's especially when you

wake up like mid like because of the way your brain is you see you just see figures right and then there's like like straight up hallucinating shit but it's like that's not just your brain acting weird like you're hallucinating and then that's like even scarier. Well, guys, there's one more here to take us away for this episode. And it's a long one, but it is a poo story. I think you might like it. From Goblin Boy.

Thanks for writing in Goblin Boy. Hello, boys. On the topic of bathrooms and pooping, I have a question for you all, though I must proceed the question with an unfortunate event I experienced three days ago. I spent the night at a girl's house that I'd just begun. unseeing, and as a result, I didn't wake up to do my usual toilet business. Instead, we decided to go get breakfast together, walking a few blocks away to a local spot. My mental plan was to use the bathroom of this restaurant, just to get my morning bowels cleansed, even if the urge

wasn't so great. Good thinking. However, on arrival, the wait time for the restaurant was two hours, and not wanting to wait, we decided to walk to a coffee shop down the street that served food to go. We sat on some small tables out on the sidewalk and eat our breakfast. which was delicious, and I have a cappuccino. No more than two minutes after I finish my meal, I feel my bowels begin to rumble. I come to the startling realization that there is no public bathroom at this coffee shop, embrace myself for the walk back to her apartment. We get up to go and have gone no more than 20 feet before I realize that I've entered the crisis zone.

My bow is now prompting a cold sweat over my entire body. Dread floods in as I realize this is not something I can hold in for the duration of our walk back. And there's hardly any time for this panic to set in, because halfway through crossing the street, I feel my clenched ass release against the impossible strain. Panicking, I survey my surroundings and see there's a bar nearby. So coming to an abrupt stop, I look at her and say, I really have to pee. She says, oh, all right. And I make my way hastily to the bathroom at the back of the bar. Pulling down my underwear, I see what I already knew to be true.

I have shipped myself. I've entered a mode of survival, of desperation, which I have. I wish upon no one, where I've shapped myself at 12 in the afternoon in broad daylight with the girl waiting for me outside. Thinking on my feet, I took out my pocket knife, and like a surgeon, cut through the sides of my underwear, taking care to not make any further contact with the matter. Fortunately, it was just a bit, and had not soaked through my pants, and I'd do my best to clean myself up.

I'll just dump the underwear into the trash, I think, to myself. However, someone walks into the bathroom and tries to get into the stall I'm in. Peaking below the stool, I see they're standing there waiting for me to finish. Making exfiltration with the shit-covered underwear impossible. Panicking once more, I stuffed that underwear in the narrow gap between the back of the toilet and the bathroom wall, such that it was only noticeable if one were searching. The depravity of this is not lost on me, as I've now ruined someone else's day on top of my own. Still, I make a quick exit, and she greets me outside, none the wiser.

walk her home, then promptly go back to my home for a long shower. Anyway, my question to the cast is this. Have any of you experienced a bathroom crisis like mine, where desperate measures had to be taken? That was quite a wild ride, but he got out of there in the end. Yeah, that was kind of like awesome. Yeah, beautifully written. Yeah, like, there was so much dread and then like a release. It was like tension building, building, building, building.

Yeah, release like the shirts into his underwear. he's just a genius with a pocket knife and he's like got a shit storage preparation area um every angle covered clean yeah yeah or dirty in this case i have not had that experience i've never had this happen but i've had like moments where i've been like trying not to fart or poo and it's like becoming a problem but you've managed to like quench the problem like that is the problem like that is play is to go to like a restaurant and then go in the restaurant where you can fart and poo as loud as you want the the trick is is to like never be holding it but like what could this guy have done differently he's try he tried he had a

plan no if his plan was to poo at the original restaurant poo there but he couldn't because of the two hour wait what was he going to say oh I just need to use just be like, yo, I just really need to pee real quick. Then he's in there for like 15 minutes, releasing his... Yeah, but how long did it take for him to surgically, like, slices? Yeah, but that's because he'd already shit himself. It was done. Yeah, exactly.

I think it's more preparation on his part. If he knew the poo was coming. I think he shouldn't have the coffee. No, no, no, this is it. The coffee, definitely. No, there's a, there's a fault here. He said he didn't get up in the night, because he's with this girl, right? Why didn't he just go in the morning? When they'd both been up? Because he didn't want to

probably poo in her time. No, that, yeah, but that's, that's, that's, that's, that's his own fault. There's, even if you're going to clog that toilet, if you've got a release, you've got a release. Because then you're going to shout yourself. But what if like this, like, you know, the first couple dates. They don't we know each other that well. You're still in, like, Ick realm. Yeah, an ik realm.

No, but that's the first thing she'd be texting her friends. He left a shit so big, it wouldn't flush. That, and then you're done. No, it's over that. No, there's stuff you can do if you leave a shit that big. Yeah. You flush. What are you supposed to use to break it up if it wouldn't flush?

what you're supposed to do? Would you actually say this? Desperate measures. Yeah, but then you're not going to shoot you. That's the thing you're not going to shoot yourself. And if... That's James is right. The bigger ick is shitting yourself.

Yeah. Let's be real. Unless you're a legend and... No, but that could have gone any other way. That was on a fine edge. And how do we know she didn't smell it? That was touching cloth. Yeah, exactly.

That was beyond... That was like inkcloth. Embedded within cloth. Yeah. I think any preparation even if it is like last minute fixing a block toilet is the better choice than shitting yourself even if it's with your hand

yeah yeah chop that dude crassie chop that little motherfucker in there use your toes keep your shoe on and just break it use your mouth if you have to do you think it's like really fucked up to like use the toilet brush

to like break up a huge shit you don't think it is no I don't think it is That's what you're supposed to clean the toilet with, though. Because you know, breaking it up, it's gonna like just clean it from what? What? What are you cleaning, like, using the bristles to click, to, like, wipe in the bleach and get the, like, wipe what off? Pooh, whew, sick. Lots of, lots of sick.

So it's touching poo. It's touching poo either way, yeah, but it's touching bleach, though. Yeah, then, if you're, like, just breaking up poo with it and breaking up a poo, it gets stuck. Surely bleach is all. going to be in the same bathroom anyway so you just bleach the shit when before you break it up well no you you break it up and then bleach using the flush

to clean the brush bleach and then you scrub like you've never experienced in this realm so no I've you as as a human being you have to cover no I know what you do you get the toilet brush turn it the upside down way

hold it by the brush break it with the that's even more put it back that's it That's even more Dwayne I think we solved it guys It's a genius move

It's just like shit's all over the handle It's right on I think that's comfy Eh Must be Oh Twoflus Yeah

Well This has been a How to Train Your Dragon fancast Uh Jim I I, the own, it's like, when I first watched how to train your dragon, it was just like, that is Billy. Yeah.

The two in several, look at her, look at her. And Jonah Hill's character, the reason Kanye, huh? Come back to the light side after Jonah Hill, showed him comedy. That's not real. It is real. It's not. It's not.

Real pose. Did he see Kanye announced he doesn't hate Jews anymore? Because of Jonah Hill. Wow. He tweeted that he watched 21 Jump Street and because Jonah Hill was funny he doesn't hate Jews anymore. Bro. He literally, he literally posted on Instagram. Watching Jonah Hill in 21 Jump Street made me like Jewish people again.

Look, it's real. No Christian can be labelled anti-Semite knowing Jesus is Jew. Go, there's something boring with him. Jim, this happened. He's finally apologized. He apologized. I apologize. Wait.

This is... It's real. No, it's fucking... It's real. Yeah. You want. You can imagine actually fucking... Ah!