JAR Media Posdact - The Single Edged Sword - JARCast Episode 317

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 05:05 Housekeeping 20:23 Male Role Models 45:36 Mid Break 52:56 Reddit Questions: Drinking & Drink Reccomendations 1:11:44 Biggest Internet Hoax We've Fallen For 1:21:47 The JAR Media CreepyPasta

Right, pretend we're in the Everglades. Everglades, but... Good afternoon, morning, evening, all night. okay how about this for each word you say you say good afternoon then i play a note and then you see what i'm saying good afternoon evening or night he missed one i'm morning that went wrong do we have to do it again do it again Good afternoon Good morning Evening

Or night Ladies and gentlemen And welcome to episode 317 of the Jamilipur Welcome to the uh The Boing episode It is a boeing sound A boingy sound Yeah

It's it Play the sound while my eyes are closed I'm Erin Eh? I picture like a wooden house. Yeah, I'm just like trying to see what it makes. Ooh. A wooden house on the water.

Whoa! A wooden house on fire. A hooker house? A hooker wooden house on the water. On fire. A hookah house on fire. Yeah. Just like the jar media pop.

Just like the JAR Media patrons who make JARMedia possible over at patreon.com. They help support the show, and you can find the audio version on Spotify, Podbean, iTunes and any audio device. Especially Podbean. And patrons get their names read out in the first or second week of each month. If you're a debauteer or above. have a potential name for this episode one I've had on the cards for a while yes

the single-edged sword no see this is the thing I never understood with the double-edged sword thing is that like if it was double-bladed right as in those two blades

then I get it but like most swords when you think of a sword unless you're like a weeb is double-edged what do you mean it doesn't just have one edge you know what about

a quadruple edge sword no a double the edge is the end the edge is the end of the blade not the edge that leads to the end that's the edge imagine a sword that's just a blade

and doesn't even have a handle it exists no um Melania's sword from Eldon Ring she's got a robot hand so she doesn't need

also she can just carry a blade I like that yeah just like I like the fact that I'm Alex joined by Jim and James and here we are in JAR Media HQ game of everything cool

and new and fresh I'm fit If you had to If you had to fight fresh or fit Who would you rather fight? Alex, I have no idea who either of them are I'd fight Sneco probably

Well no he said fresh or fit I'm gonna go fresh because fitness implies Like strength and capability You know Freshness just means clean No Like who's the most fresh right now Um Jamie

I'm fresh I am first smell me I am not I know Why do you think the window's open I'm assuming Alex is the most fresh If I had to

If I had to Put money down I would vote myself Why Because I had a bath earlier And I ate noodles in the bath Spicy ones Flush out all of my

No that doesn't work Antioxins No Um, just get them all out my system while I'm playing my jaw harp. In the bath. Imagining I'm bathing in the, in the Everglades. I get the feeling that's more of a sneaker move than anything else. Bathing in the Everglades?

Yeah, that's a jaw harp. Yeah, that's a sneaker move. Well, guys, let's do the housekeeping segment where we clean up the conversations from the previous episode. Greasy the Reptile can get us started 20 seconds in I'm already very cross with Alex Why? Well Herbie Fox replied to it saying This what did you do? Yeah, I can't remember that far back Nothing, but I thought I'd include this because

We're getting more and more complaints as to being too biased towards me Yeah no, white for so There's an anti-Alex one for you guys. Yeah, but you chose that just so you could keep getting away with it. Yeah. You know what?

You know, I'm thinking right now. And by thinking, I mean, so I'm stroking the back of my head. There's mullet energy there. There's... No, look, look at the amount of hair there is the... That can easily go mullet. What's that got to do with me, um, being cross?

You weren't cross. That guy was. Yeah. What was his name? Well, I'm getting cross. I'm getting very cross What was his name? Greasy the reptile

Greasy the reptile was cross Yeah, hopefully so I'm cross at James now though Why? Because you should already have a mullet No, well Like I've been kind of experimenting With, I say experimenting with my hair

I've just let it grow And I maintain what it grows And I don't know what to do with my hair Just let loose Yeah, that's what I'm doing at the moment It looks slightly presentable today it hasn't been for last like week it's just been kind of everywhere

but it's somewhat of a consistent mess at the moment so maybe I should just mull at it do you remember Mondo Media no no no Jim you remember Mondo Media no I can tell by the face you're doing that you're

No I'm just um getting a bit of muffing out of my team No you're serious A bit of muff get that muff from out your teeth and answer my question my riddle they've been devouring muff hello

I can't even remember what you asked me because it's so... Do you seriously not remember James do you know what I'm on about wasn't the... Isn't that the wed guy and the blue guy oh good memory stick figure stick

stick figure stick Dick Figures Dick figures, yeah No, but they weren't even the best thing on the channel The best thing was the Wait, was Dick Figures actually Mondo Media Wait, yeah This is why I wanted to play for you, bro

Trailer, Traylor, Trash We're a lot to Taylor, Trash, We need to Traylor, Trash, we only bring that up because that's kind of what the what's in on vogue for like male fashion at the moment kind of look like one of the guys from trailer trash

What do you mean? Wow, that is true, yeah. What? Um, like mullets and dungies. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to mullet. You just... Well, uh, power couch says,

I never realized Alex shouts, run! Or rather an actually. I thought it's another question about Alex Although I always thought it was just a feral scream or primal rage That's kind of

Like the development of run Of run It's not the origin of run Was thanks to those Jurassic World movies with Bryce Dallas Howard When she gets chaired Or she screams Just search Bryce Dallas Howard

Run Giff Yeah Yeah. And then you'll see it. Yeah. What? No, but there was the primal one as well. The primal one. Yeah.

I hate that. Because that was first. Wait, James, you hate that. I do hate that. But you like run? No, I don't like either. I don't like either. I prefer one over the primal one.

Interesting. Um, well, there's another nice one towards me from Ghostine Stereo. Alex with the dinosaur shirt, heart emoji. Hope it doesn't go missing under mysterious circumstances. What are they threatening? Dude, you're starting. Okay, let me give you, let me give you guys one then, yeah? One, we're getting one little...

DVA write nurse as this. Idea for the cast format. What of all three of you? you bring one to two comments for housekeeping and present them to the other hosts that way housekeeping can reflect all three of your interests the sorts of discussions you prefer having and your own agendas so that ice i control everything doesn't dominate housekeeping any longer ice i control everything i see e i oh ice right okay right yeah smart if you were actually up to date on i h e law you'd know the multiverse is opened and oh shut

The fuck up. Yeah, smart, smart. Right, yes, okay, smart. Okay, so ask me a question aimed at me then. Well, yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't want to do that. I want Alex to do that for me.

Yeah. Okay, I can do that for you guys. Cool. Good. Okay, then. Like this one from Sahard. Hello again, Mingers. How do you choose the comments in the housekeeping section? Do James and the creatine dreamer not have any choice in what comments get picked up?

Or do they not have any interest in it? I've always found that some comments Alex picks tend to be a bit biased in his favour. Thoughts? Shut up. Liar, lies. Um... We definitely have a say.

Yeah, in fact... It's our choice to make them all focused on Alex. We're trying to give him a complex. It's a sci-op. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Create team dreamer.

two more here if I can get through these weird inward burps I just have every day do you mean like the weird yeah yeah I get that but sometimes I've just got to go oh yeah

it's really intrusive what the hell are you on about yeah it's because I've got this rule where like if I'm talking and my body decides to do that I stop really

but how's someone's supposed to know that You just like, well no, because then like every time, even people who know this about me, every time they'll be like, what, what were you saying? And I'm like, no, what do you mean inwards burp? It makes me go like, well, you, you just got to make everything a bit more flamboyant, don't you? No, I can't control it. Yes, you can. And then people will like give me the side eye or they'll go like, what? And then I'll go, I literally can't help it.

What are you on about Inwards Burp? Have you, do you never have that? No. It's, it's, it's, it's kind of like a hiccup. No, I haven't,

I've never had that. Because you know, a hiccup is like a quick inhale and then like a hook. Uh, uh, yeah, do you mean when it's like,

you're like suck in and it's just like a little. Yeah, you definitely do it. Oh, yeah, I probably do. Do you know what you do a lot? What? What?

Yeah, To be fair, I've got a fuck nose. It's like not saying I can help. But yeah, it's like half a hiccup. I know what you're talking about. A half hub. Yeah, it's just the hick. No, it's just the hup. No, it's just the hick.

It's the hick cup. Not the huck. I-C-U-P. It's the first half of a hiccup. Hick. Hick. Up. A Hup would be...

No, not a Hap. That's not the second half. That's Hibb... That's a diby... No, it's Hick Hup. Huck. Oh, how's Trane Your Dragon? It's too flush. Of course, you had to make this question about you.

Well, I'll do one that's not about me then, from Patricia Norton. When the RRR discussion ended, I embraced my impulsivity, and immediately watched it. and they're right. It's amazing. It genuinely has some of the best action I've ever seen in a film because of how willing it is to make it over the top and stupid. Thanks guys. Also, I like Alex's eh thing. Oh, my God.

You know what? I think I'm going to strike it. Jim, I'm going to strike. I genuinely don't know if Alex still does that thing where he just pretends that we get questions. Like, you could be writing all of these for all I know. like you used to read off of like a blank thing like there was

nothing on it you just make up a name and then say something and then we talk about it for half an hour for all by now you still do that I'll be real I sometimes do oh my god I know I hate this side of shit because now I'm going to be

second guessing everything you say you really got to pay attention to the names now that doesn't help no one's ever noticed um the evil lemon can end this uh segment then that is such a fucking fake name i think you guys just invented how we can do world peace what how with what i was hoping you guys get answered that for me um i don't remember

anything i said last episode no we invented how to do world peace oh you mean you mean with the flashlights with the sucky drives oh oh yeah yeah That makes sense. Ain't going to work. Because someone's going to get jealous, because someone's going to get like a sucker giant, someone's going to get like a tanga egg. And they'll be jealousy and they'll be...

What's a tanga egg? It's an egg. It's an egg with a hole. Yeah, it's an egg with a hole and you just... Which one's better? No comment. Lay down the law. This is like the...

No, I'm not the... The red guy and the blue guy from Dick Figured. It's like, one's a flashlight, one's a tanga egg. I'm not like the residential sex toy expert here. No, we're not saying that you are, just the flashlight expert. Just the Saku Dry expert. I guess I am experienced in the art of the Saku Dry. Well, guys.

Yeah, what? I'm only got one topic for you today. Unless you guys have one. Bluh. I've got topic. What's your topic? then, bro. What's your topic today? James's topic today is fucking

playing footsie with me. What's wrong with that? He won't leave my bushy little sock away. I can't know. It's because they're fluffy and it's just like they're fluffy and you're getting them all rolled up. James keeps like stroking me with his um... My big fucking fat feet. Look, I've had a pretty big like radical diet change

recently. Hmm. And it's... Please! It's like really messing with, um... My bowels. Yes, because you're eating three eggs a day, bro. yeah but i like i have chickens

if i don't if i don't consume these eggs they go to waste me then i feel guilty no because one day i came here and i see like 30 eggs just on the side well that's because i had just freshly been updated no it was a lie because then i was like can i have one of those eggs and you were like no they're far too old yeah they're in their weeks i was actually going to start building up like a little farm of quails once I figured out oh my god once I figured out how cheap they are on eBay for like you can buy quails on eBay yeah just their eggs they're like worthless they're like dime a dozen those quails wait we're only like this big

it takes like 10 quail legs to make an omelette because they're only like yeah they're tiny tiny little legs but they're nice nice little animals wouldn't you like that just little quails to be can they fly Do they just fly away? No, no. They're flightless tiny birds. Yeah, you know quails. Well, I've never met a quail.

You've had a quail leg. No, I haven't. I've not had a quail leg, either. Surely to have, like, to, like, boil quare legs, it's like 30 seconds. Yeah, everything about them is better. What? How? Quails?

Yeah. What question are you asking me? Oh, my God. Well, you just made a statement, and I said how? If we're talking chicken v quail. Yeah, how are quail's better than chicken? Cheaper. Smaller.

Cuter. Cheater. Cheater because... They're blue. That is cuter. Thank you. And they got little spots on them as well. Yeah.

And that is very cute. That's very, that's very asphetic. It is the vibe. I'm going to show you a picture of a quail and you're going to take everything you just said right back. Yeah. No, but when you say better, it's like... They're objectively better.

Than chickens. Yeah, chickens are pretty fucked up. Yes, thank you. No, but a downside of something being cute is that um, like society deems it inedible. No, bro, they're not. They are very cute.

That's really, that's a stupid bird. No, it's not. They're cute and awesome. Yeah, so I might become a quail farmer. I think it might be nice. Will you eat quail? course I would oh damn okay hold up yeah and they're so small that's not that small that's pretty small bro that's the size of like a giant Australian

spider no it's not yeah it probably is to be fair no man you know what would she do if she gets out the window like it's she'll just jump her out because she goes out the other window because there's like a balcony that she can land on Billy, if you do that It's game on With stuff that will go You'll break the nice Lego set Anyway, yeah

Aside Quails aside I did have a bit of a topic I wanted to ask you guys I wanted I wanted to ask you I wanted to just rack your brain And to

Tell me Who are the male role models in fiction that you can think of. Um, Gannendorf. That's your role model, the villain in Zelda. Why Gannendor? It's the first thing that came to mind. I'm, okay.

No, I'm joking. No, but from you. I didn't even know you knew Gannendorf existed Of course I do True Okay Male Walmart

In Spider Man No Spider-Man counts No I can't If you thought Balmold or Spider-Man Why No look

What does he stand for? Spider Spide So that's one in the pro section No that's not pro I wouldn't say It is No he's like a

Morally good pure character I don't think he's pure Why though He's always beating He was edgy Edgy In the third film He went a bit edgy

No no you're thinking too Hyperspecific The character And what they like Resemble I can't picture Spider Man Without picturing Toby McGuire

That's like That's just That's canon It's not as your head canon No no no No you agree It's canon What's canon

What's canon? Canonical It's a Do you know What no I know But what do you mean by it's canon? It's his head canon. What's his head canon?

Because in the canon of that Spider-Man is that other Spider-Man exist at the same time. Yeah. Anyway, this is irrelevant. Yeah, this is... You turn this conversation cringy. I didn't do anything. Spider-Man? Venom.

No, be real, take it seriously I'm trying to take it seriously Sam, Sam Wise the Brave Oh yeah, that's true Aragon? Yeah, Algon? No. Why not Aragon? No, he is definitely a role model. I'm talking positive male role models Because like... Tank Dempsey

Is someone like John Wick? Is that a role model? No, no. Captain Price No Black Adam I'm trying to think of one of my favourite media Vin Diesel, Vin Diesel from Fast and Furious No Why?

Family Okay I'm really struggling I'm trying to think of all my favourite things And none of them are good Malwell models It's funny that The wayman from everything everywhere

Yep. I would 100% agree with that. Freshly Oscar won as well. I was recording this. Deserved. A fresh. He knocked it out of the fresh. Unique male role model, I would say.

That one. A fresh perspective on male roles. Yeah. Because I bring up like a John Wick or like a Rambo or these kind of guys. But when you say like role model, like, I kind of associate having a role model with being a child. Wait, really? Really?

Yeah. Like, like looking up to something to become. Yeah, like a master and a apprentice. Yeah. Doesn't that have to be a child, though? No, but like what everyone knows once you hit like, like once you get a job, you just have to be that for the rest of your life. Oh, this is the pessimistic Jamie here then

Because that is a very pessimistic view No, like the second you get a job You're a failure if you do anything else Not at all, that's pessimism Why? Hey, I think you guys hated that You can't like start doing it now Hey, that's not me, this is Jamie here

I'm not, I'm messing with, I don't know It's just that's where my association goes, you know, but I don't know, maybe, maybe John Wick kind of, could be. Why? Because. What does he represent? He's a, he's what, like, a, a, really good, but he's like the best. He's the best assassin in the world.

He solves all his problems by killing people. Yeah, but he's really good at it, you know, so he's put a lot. So that's the role model bit. He's good at killing He's like, oh one day I could be that good at killing Yeah And he's like driven and he will like cut his finger off As opposed to Spider-Man who's like

Everyone around me keeps being the ones who are killed And I keep getting beaten down But I would never kill someone And I'll always get back up Yeah Because he doesn't have the sack To do what has to be done See I'm more of a punisher kind of guy

Yeah, I'm more of a sort of My role model is Patrick Baitman Um Yeah Luke Skywalker Hmm Yeah

I can't think of a single one You can't think of a single one No I'm really struggling to think of things I like And like the characters And it's like I think it's an interesting topic

An interesting A little quandary to think about like what makes someone worthy of being a role model like if we think about like some of the biggest franchises properties like beyond the like a John Wick where it's more about just it's like a revenge fantasy right

yeah where everything's about like the violence and it's not like the pure role model like a Spider-Man like an Aragorn or something but it's like a moral model moral good kind of going on. Yeah. Is The Rock in Fortnite a role model? Well, I was thinking that.

Yeah, who... Which characters in Fortnite aren't role models? Is the Master Chief a role model? Is... Only the Master Chief from Halo Infinite. I want the Jarlings to leave their role models. in the comments Obi-1 Canobi

Positive role models Like not Not silly I'm really struggling That's interesting though Right You can't think of one It's not a good thing though

That's what I'm saying I'm not trying to I'm also I'm taking this outside of fictional as well And it's like That's fine Whatever comes to your mind What about that

Um That that That that that a Formula One driver Senna? No, the guy's still going. He's like 41. Fernando Alonso?

Alonzo, yeah. Nah. Why is he not a role model? A bit of a cut. Oh, okay. But that's like his thing. When your weight and driver that good and you're 41.

There's none. I can't think of a single one. That's where, yeah. It's a bit like more simple when it. restricted to like fiction because like a real person is going to have flaws but like arrogant like it's like a different so yeah he's like an ideal yeah but superman not the the zach Snyder Superman but the nihilist Superman yeah actual Superman the randian suit yeah it doesn't the kind of Superman that doesn't hate the fact that he should

save people that's the man that kind of breaks knacks and that's why yeah well i tried um i'd say like the joke oh my fucking god jesus christ james what is wrong with you shut up don't blame me this on me uh like bro why is this the hardest question in the world I want to get your brain You have to get one I can't think of a single one I've got married from Fas and Furious But he's not a one model

Um Aaron Yeager No Yeah not a one model Goku No Um Bop from

Cowboy Bbop No Pop I don't know I didn't know if they're any of a fucking names No, because people like Anti-heroes and like Characters that are grey and sit in the grey

That's why you got, you know, like Breaking Bad so popular And Deadpool Deadpool and Dexter and all these kind of characters But they're not like role models Honestly, there's more role models Who aren't men Really? Is that where you're coming down? Yeah

Like who? Okay, give me like an hour to think of that one. You're just making baseless claims. No, I'm trying to think, and it's the only, the only people that's come to mind is not men. Micasso. Yeah, from the potato girl from attack on Titan. Yeah, no, she is. Potato.

Yeah, potato girl, Sasha. Yeah, that's her characterizations, that she likes potatoes. And bread. And bread. I don't like potatoes Shut that fuck out No, genuinely I don't think potatoes are very good

How are you supposed to bulk without that mash? Pasta pasta Pasta Pasta Pizza? Imagine pasta with like Baked

Mashed potato Krispies I don't like mash Yes you do Sorry bro I'm white. No, you're just making it wrong. No, I make a mean mash.

You don't? I make mean mash. I make the meanest man. Okay, what would you add? What would you do to me? All the cast of mash. That's my role models. Nah, get this, right?

Potato. Cream. What cream? Double cream, whipped cream. Tiger cream. Get out of the stressify. No, cream. What?

Cream. Liquid. Double cream then. Is Liquid Snake a role model? No, but Solid Snake, now that is a role model. No, he's literally a war criminal. No, that's big boss. Jim, they're all war criminal.

No, they're not. Solid Snake is one hell of a role model. The guy, uh, the, uh, the, uh, Sam, Sam Bridges. from uh from video game role model how can you not think of one i'm just i'm trying think bro you have to have Batman no because that's that is just lame I'm a billionaire hmm yeah that's not one would all okay for you then I guess the the guy from the Eternals no the one that turns into a villain the genocidal mania no because I'm not thinking of games like what games are like what

characters in the games like you know I can remember and I can't remember any Army guy from Cod Gaz Oh yes, war criminals, nice Just being involved in war doesn't make you Yeah, it kind of does

If it's modern warfare The Remakes then yeah But like the original Like Gaz, what did he do? Nothing, literally nothing in the entire game Yeah, apart from sound epic. Um, okay, then you think of anime. My favorite anime or shows, uh, none.

Naruto? Yeah, Goku. No. One piece, sky? Yeah, stretch Armstrong. Stretch Armstrong. Stretch Armstrong. No.

I can only think of female characters. Well, name one then. Uh, Wecky from Hybrose. Banei when my There you go We've all got one then No that's not You said male

Yeah and I can't give you a moam Oh true yeah Jason Statham Oh yes a war criminal How is he a war That's the actor It's just a real man Yeah he were talking about

Jason Statham in crank That's my role model It's like I can't I'm really struggling Gandhi. Oh yes, no, no, I found one. Give me a second.

I've got... Rose Nishpuram. What about, like, Jimmy Kimmel? Hmm. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Neutron. Sponbh.

Spongebob. Spongebob is genuinely a good role model. Do you think so? Yeah. If you copy him one-to-one, you'll be a good person. No, but no role model is like, copy this person one to one.

That's not what a role model, like, you know? Oh, mine is Colonel Kurtz. Who's that? Marlon Bando in Apocalypse Now. Oh my God. That's a hardcore one. No, no, it's a joke. Charlie Sheen.

Spider from Avatar 2. What? Spider from Avatar 2. So, you know, this is the thing. Jake Sully technically Mason Woods

War criminals It doesn't mean they can't be role models Jake Sully's not a bad one Jake Sully's cool He's just about family It's just fast and furious I guess you could say Commander Shepard If you did a Powergun play through

Hmm Do you know apparently only like 8% of players did Renegade playthru I never did Wow. Yeah, it's cringy. Yeah.

Keep my ass, bitch. Yeah. That's from Andromeda, though. And I, you could also say... Suck on this. Nimbus from Destiny 2 Lightfall. Mm. Mm.

Okay, what makes a good male role model? Yeah, what does? No, just in general. It's like what the character resembles what they... stand for their morality yeah their morality no but i i would argue like you can have role models for different aspects i agree like a moral role model one could be like a physical role model one could be like a intellectual role model you know i i do agree on that it's just for me not so much

i'd say my role model changed every time remember in bugs life There's a circus. Mm-hmm. Um, and there's a, there's a praying mantis. Right. That's my answer. Why? He's a leader.

Oh wow, you want to be a leader now, do you? No, we didn't say it had to be one-to-one. Just admirable qualities of a, of a bug. Is, is who you pick as a role model more, like, a reflection on yourself than what you're taking from probably okay because if I said Patrick Bateman and and Tyler Turden there's one for you James no I'm like Adam yeah I do think that one models can represent different parts of where you want to be and it's like with my world models I have it's all about them and the

mental side and the morality a moral role model like Gandhi no my lips are sealed Che Gueira criminal. Ice spice. That's my role model. Baby spice. Maybe I've just got a thing for spices. You see, the noodles in the bath. Comedy role model, James, go.

Alan Carr. Jimmy Carr. Dave Chappelle. War criminal. No, the main characters from O-W-A-W-A. Actual one-women. Fictional one-women, they're like, revolutionaries.

And they're both like, you take different things from them. But they're both, like, I look up to these characters and I want to strive to be that just. No, you're absolutely awesome. not Wadge it's the other one beam literally perfect

he is like the encapsulation of everything I want to be why not the other guy why not fire he's got too much fire he's like yeah I'll sacrifice everything for the cause

everything everything but he turned he learnt from that though he learned from beam. Beam. Beam is un-Ironically.

They learned from each other. Yeah, they did learn from each other. Exactly. They are the two best male-womenos. But that makes them even better of male role models or just role models, because they keep their minds open, you know, and they're open to influence and to, like, seeing the bigger picture and changing. You know what?

Yoda. Yoda's my answer. what the number one idol yeah why because he's deeply wise but he's got a fun side to him he's got comedy he's playing with him but

once the game's over then he's able to whip out what's real what's important and that's what I value in a man and being tiny and green I think the tiny and green is more what you care about bro yeah

man. I love when he eats that bar. When he eats that bar, that is a Sigma mood. Also, that bar looks good. It looks like one of those weird fruity, like weird factory. Made out of dates or something.

No, like strawberry, like, gloop that's been like hard. Hey, that's mine, Yoda. Yoda, come on. Um... No, I disagree with Yoda, though. yeah I agree you disagree with Yoda I mean I disagree with Yoda being a role model

you get a mix up with baby Yoda aren't you no neither Yoda is a role model they are they both are in a way it's kind of hard to live up to the standards of a little green alien no it's not

it is though he's not he's just a he's just a master no episode two changed things no it didn't it made him cooler if anything it made him even more of a role model

because now he's a fighter Hmm Okay Hmm Okay Whatever Go ahead Give me one more

The The The The Tarzan's dad In Tarzan He gets like killed

By a leopard No No His gorilla dad yeah I guess why not just Tarzan Not Tarzan He's got too much to learn

He's too flawed Yeah but he learns it by the end He can speak to guerrillas and humans By the end That yeah that is pretty admirable Yeah I can't What about fathers

father's in fiction um like which fathers craters he's like a terrible person war criminal is he a terrible person yes or is he learned no i mean that's that's that's his whole story bro yeah and like he's a pretty bad dad as well for a lot of the first one at least i haven't played the second one bad dad who becomes good dad we don't really see that bit in the first one. You're doing the second one. That's when you become good dad. Well, I've not seen, I've not played it.

He goes, boy, I'm a good dad. Thank you, father. For being good dad. Joel, he's a good dad. We're stretching it too far now. No, there's got to be some good dads. Father chief from Halo. I do.

I can't think of a good dud A good father Father Christmas He's a role one Jamie Lannister I think Jamie Lannister's a good one To end this on Yeah he's a

He's a bad role model And then he gets a golden hand And then he becomes a good role model Now I can no long fight So I've got no worth Yeah I'm going to have to just learn how to be a good role model. I loved that season of Game of Thrones.

Me too. What about Yarl Bulgraf? From... Shut the fuck on. What, Arduino? Parthenax. Parthenx. Maria?

Maria. No, Maria's an awful role model. He's a... No, he's a... he's an awesome role model he's not he's a trash role model how um he ignores his brother no he doesn't he uh cheats on princess peach with daisy true with daisy when and rosalina he's he's cuck-holding he lives from fresh and fit on the down low yeah he what he listens to the fresh and fit podcast on the down low i can see that yeah

Whereas Luigi. Luigi is and always has been the better brother. Yeah. He's a role model. I'll give you that. I'll give you Luigi, but I will not budge or marry. Donkey Kong? He's got other issues going on.

Okay. Awful role model. He's more like a night terror. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And no night terror as being a good role model. Did I say Spider from Avatar 2?

We'll see you after these messages. Buy Bear Bear, Bear. I do declare buy Bear Bear Bear. Bear Bear Shirts and mug available now. Check the description below. Did you put a bit of chili oil in your water? and said to do it. To make you poo better.

To make you digest better, to poo better, to pee better, to get cancer faster. I find that hard to believe. I can shoot piss at a really good weight. Like... What's a bad rate?

Like when it jubbles out, I guess. It hasn't got like enough pressure behind it to launch it. When you haven't let it build. Yeah, and then... If you ever start peeing and it just like goes out a right angle. No, no, see, no, that only... No, no, we're like...

If, I don't know, you've been wearing, like, tight-to-in-usual underwear, and your dick is, like, kind of wedged in, like, an L-shaped. And then you start peeing, and you're just, like, peeing straight on the floor. No.

And then after, like, three seconds, you're like, oh, that's what that sound is, and then you adjust. Do you ever... Say this is your P-stream. Do you ever take the risk and go, you've never done that no absolutely not

you've never done that no I just tried to piss as fast as possible for like fun sometimes I tried to get that perfect arch see like you angle up nap and up and nap and so it's like perfectly no I only do that when I'm in a pub

and I've had like four or five pints and that's when it's just like walk in break the toilet seat and you're peeing into the gross like troughs they have in like I hate that No, this is something that proves that sexism is actually

more against men than women Oh, fucking ill, bro. No, no, honestly, it levels the playing field, right? No, it doesn't, you sure. No, not just the trough, men's toilets. Specifically, back in secondary school. No, that

that is sexist. You actually believe women's toilets are like perfectly fine. like no from everyone i've talked to every everyone i've talked to has just said that they're fucking atrocious they're awful they're not as bad they're not as bad they're not as bad they can be they can be fucking bad i'm sure they're a bad women's toilets out of you know but they're not just not it's different it's different man it's different but i think urinals are heinous they're fine i mean it varies

lot like the troughs they're fine are they're better than you know you get the splash back you get the splash back and there's like no barrier between people it's like the most uncomfortable nobody is his pools into other people's piss and it forms this weird piss pool no no no it's all worth it for that one video of like in germanyly the guy walks into a bath and thinks it's like the sink and washes his hands in your wine or it's just like that's an iconic video and then realizes it's the it's the piss piss goblin yeah

I don't know but the thing of those is they're like pure utility it's like you go to like my main thing is like when you go to a racetrack there's like a hundred people in there and it's just like there's so many people everyone sardine together it's just like no that's what's good about ordinary urinals

no I think it's the opposite I don't like urinals it's too like separate that people nah I never used them anyway I'll just go and sit down but like why are we expected to pee in communion

but not shamed? getting communion like the Romans well yeah I would know you could share the sponge on the stick the sponge is statistically more hygienic than toilet paper and toilet paper

yeah I think the Romans run something with that one no I'm on a really bad place of pooing at the moment cats elaborate my friend every time I go to a pill I get a nosebleed you're straining too much man no I don't even strain I'll literally just sit down and I've got nose trees

I put money down that you And then I'm like trying to plug two holes And it's like goddown this is not I'm got Yeah my nose on my ass Why are you plugging? I thought you're trying to do it poo Yeah you've got to plug the poo away What's that? I don't think you've been using toilet paper right

You just like you leave like a rag like up there to block it James is like a tap He just pulls the previous one out Oh my god Nosebleeds That's hardcore No but like my nosebleeds now I think I've actually

Starting to have actual severe problems Like I can't have a meal Any more Like if I eat any warm meal I instantly get a nosebleed Any warm meal Any warm food And it's just like

That's the trigger It has to be warm So if it's cold you're good And if it's hot you're good But if it's in the middle No it's like a hot meal A hot or hot anything think that's hot if I start eating just a meal I'll get a nosebleed you didn't get a nose

bleed today luckily I didn't probably because it was all lukewarm anyway but it's just like I had I had a cow I know I had like a pawn linguini for lunch and it was fucking gushing out my face and I was like holding the bowl going back to my work fucking nose there gushing everywhere and I actually use my door card to get in and there's been times where like I'm carrying and like doing so much that I just bleed all over the floor and then it's like a big fucking bill because then that's really unhygiene hazard yeah yeah and it's just like I can't do anything

it's gushing out my face it's not good you got the anime nosebleeds man yeah and then obviously every other situation is even worse I'm broken maybe you need that thing where they like singe your nose doesn't work it's been done in my family and it doesn't do anything really yep it's no the bad one

is when I'm out to have like a hot shower or just a shower and it's just like I get the nose to do beforehand but I can't go into the shower when it stops because it will start again

so it's just like this horrible limbo but how much blood you're like losing overall bro it gushes it like pause like an anime like literally yeah

it's like I was doing something I was brushing my teeth and it gushed and I covered my clothes in blood I basically covered the bathroom in blood because it was just gushing out that fast it's just like

why is there blood everywhere fuck knows it's not good. Fuck knows. Ha ha ha ha! Maybe you should go to the doctor about that, bro. Bro, no, I've gone, like,

I need to go to doctor about a lot of things. Like, my body's just, like, actually falling apart. Well, I'll tell you what's staying pretty strong. That's the JAR Media Suggestion thread over on the subreddit, where you

can have your questions answered like we're about to do. Head over there, ask questions, just like absolutely bonkers mate did who says bear bear james has made it very clear that his favourite man-man song is minion supreme but he's also stated that it's because the original version that was recorded was a masterpiece will Alex ever release the director's cut p s it's my 21st birthday on wednesday Alex and I share a birthday so a bear bay but a bear bear birthday to us Both.

PPS. Since I can legally drink finally, what types of alcoholic drinks do y'all recommend? Um, straight one. Not straight one. Don't bother wasting your time on lagers or ciders, just go drink one. No, cider's nice. No. I can't, I can't do ciders or lager anymore.

Why not? Because the hangovers I get are like so sharp and they feel so sharp that I want to die. The dark of the alcohol The worst hangover The white one Is that a thing? Beautiful So what like a Guinness hangover is like

Particularly bad Yeah Okay That is a general rule It doesn't like a really dark ale Yeah dark ale Like Dark rum

Uh So what So what So vodka hangovers way Less bad Yeah It won't be as bad okay

it's opposite like clear clearer alcohols are easier for your body to go hmm how crazy is that you got to be 21 to drink alcohol over there

stupid you should have had at least seven years of experience by now I would I would say that that's not bad at all remember the first time I got drunk I was 22 if not later I think I might have been 23 and it's just like I didn't miss out

because now it's like I've got I've got a job and I have money and it's just like nights out or really cheap because I get pissed quick because I don't have tolerance so I would generally say the best thing to do is to just don't drink until you're like mid-20s because then it's like that's when it gets really good that's when you drink one glass of wine and you're fucked

but you do the thing you don't eat though as well I know I do eat I don't eat but then again that makes it cheaper because that will do it I like tasty flavours so I like gin because then you can put just citrus in there I do like alcohol but I am

like my mentality is efficiency and efficiency is just strong and a lot of it I guess hence the rum yeah hence my like half glass of wine and coke that's the thing my personal thing is um yeah i like a cider or a lager but once you're like having the quantity of liquid i like with spirits that you can just have a little glass and it's

like 40% in a shot or two in there um so i just need a few of these to like feel it as opposed to pint on pint on pint and then feeling like swollen yeah i don't like quantity is not good that depends how much you enjoy peeing not very much i i feel like like Like when we go out, we do drink quantity-wise a fair bit, because then we're just doing shots and whatnot. And it's like, I won't stop pissing. It's non-stop piss. And it's like, I wouldn't have drink the quantity to piss as much as I do, but it's all coming out. It's going straight in and out.

Yeah. Once I start drinking alcohol, like, yeah, my body just wants it out. Like, I would just be peeing, like, nothing else. Stop, yeah. I like wine, though, as well. Wine, see, the thing with wine is like, when you have a meal, wine is what you go to because that's like a really nice

like a stay cool reeling it back for someone who's like not drank at all cider cider lager but like

generally I kind of disagree squirt a lemonade I disagree because obviously when I started drinking I didn't start on lagers or siders I drank one that's the first

You had those like ciders didn't you Yeah you drink the old beer every night But if I was drinking, I drink one. I drink spirits. Nah. Mum and Coke.

That's like that is my poison. As well, when, um, when drinking spirits, it's way easier to just like suddenly break through like the drunkenness sound barrier. You just lose your mind. No, I think, yeah, it's like if you're going to approach alcohol, it's just like, like, yeah, ciders, I would say ciders are the best. point because they are flavorful. They're sweet and easy to drink. Because obviously your palate's going to change and it's like now it's like I went through a phase of drinking a lot of whiskey because my palate at that time loved it

but now it's like I don't really like whiskey and I love worms and I love the palette of ones. That's the thing you like you build the like negative association with certain enough if you've had a few because like I was the same like I really liked whiskey for a while but now it just makes me feel sick. Yeah and it's like now I've also grown more of a palette to liking one it's just like you're gonna like you it's like if you start drinking alcohol you're gonna go through every phase of all of them and it is just a process to you find like the one you really like

yeah but stuff like lager and cider it's just the entry point but you you never like go off of it i disagree lots of people go off cider yeah but usually because it's the first drink that they abuse when they yeah but also the sweetness of it like it's typically people get less of a sweet tooth as they get older. Yeah. So when, when, but dry cider though? Yeah.

But I think when people think cider, it's like thatchers. Yeah, it's really sweet. Which is like really sweet and bubbly. Whereas there are lots of like flat, dry tart side of.

Yeah. A bit of sourness. But I think obviously we naturally have a better alcohol selection than America. probably you know we're like we've got a lot more access to way better wine yeah probably being closer to Italy Spain France yeah but it's just like you just ended that no you still find it but it is just like you just

if you're going into it you just look at what what flavors there and then you just pick which one you like that's just the best way I do it and then your palate will improve and wine be the go-to. No, but the crazy thing, I don't think I've noticed this with alcohol is obviously when you, the different alcohols you drink, the different hangovers you experience. Or like even a different state of drunk. Strait of drunkness.

Yeah. It feels different. Well, I think, I think just because I drank wine this week and I drank a glass of wed and because I bought a bottle of wed and obviously if you leave it open too long, it gets a bit crap. So it was just like, I spent seven pound on this bottle, I need to finish it. So I drank on a weeknight. Don't ever do that, but...

And it's just like, I noticed a clear, like, difference when I was drunk. And it was like, yeah, this is what red wine's like then. Menace, not good. I find it very sluggish. No, I... The sex drive just goes fucking insane with red wine. That's not an uncommon thing either. Yeah, no, that is a thing.

With red wine, it's sex drive just... Yeah. Now that you mention it. Yeah. So I noticed that and it was like, God damn. Maybe you avoid red wine in the few. future then that's a reason to drink it bro yeah um yeah i like all types of wine i don't like white i don't like white wine either i've had like one nice bottle of white and it's one we could try tomorrow because i know we'll be able to get it but that's like other than that like

champagne white wine yeah i like champagne um i had some nice like rosé in greece i don't like have it very often but like in that kind of environment that's where it's like an ice cold loress nice. I'd prefer like an ice cold peroni or something, you know what I'm saying? Like a Corona with a barbecue or something. So, you know, that's the thing of all the lagers. The only one I really want to drink is Krona.

Corona's good. Paroni's good. I do like a prone. Does Moretti count? Yeah, I had a couple of those yesterday. I do just like Corona. Yeah, Corona's like a good, like just solid. A bit of lime.

Yeah, it's generally nice, but at the same time, it's like association. have you like to have you left to go out to drink it's driven that shit everywhere positive association though right with the

family from Furious yeah generally it's like the best thing to come from those movies is like Corona with the boys is like an actual

like you know do you remember when when the pandemic started and people were avoiding drinking Corona because of the name it was like yeah

they're cheap yeah man um good luck don't don't be silly yeah don't be silly just yeah don't be silly find something tasty and just abuse just like i it's like obviously don't mix if you're gonna like early on don't start mixing it with like don't do like loads of lager and then do loads of wine because you obviously just don't mix it be a wine fine no cider beer queer No, it's wine beer Shut up

No, because The basis of that whole thing Is that Lug is made of Beers made of wheat And wine's made of fruit If you have cider Which is also made of fruit

And go to wine You can go back to cider Because they're both made of fruit But it's as bullocks right It's just like once Yeah, just just honest To God Drink something strong

And then just do shots and fuck up fuck up your night that's that's the go two formula like Yeager bombs apparently there's like a type of person it's like 7 to 10% or something

of people that when they drink alcohol it releases some kind of like dopamine so there's like you know everyone knows that type of person that can just keep drink like it's just insane the quantity they're able

to without news because like I get to a level that's like I need to stop because this is like it's not even pleasant this is uncomfortable this just it just sounds like you're describing me and Jim to be honest we're really fucking man Jim no we are no we put we don't stop like every time we've gone out to like go drinking go to the local like microbrewery every time it's just been me and you left just like actually like like the last time we drank was our like Christmas due and it was just like the first drinkers was like six

the last drink was 20 to 6 in the morning yeah and we drank that much and we didn't stop we were still drinking at 5th we were pouring drinks like 5 in the morning we fucking cleared out

you finished off that rum right you had an entire bottle is it that one yeah and the entire bottle of vodka I've never done that um no this is what I mean it's just I don't I don't stop it's like when I like physically can't

like I can't I'll just start vomiting No but the thing is I've never Vomited for my alcohol ever The only No that was because I drank I vomited because I drank milk That's why I was just curdling in my stomach

But so far No matter how much I drink I've not vomited Because there's no way I could drink close to an entire bottle of one And not vomit That's an obscene amount of alcohol That is an obscene amount And mix that of loads of vodka shots

And loads of everything else why the fuck would I not vomit that was like stupid yeah I guess you just kind of built different like sure it took me a week to get over the hangover so why wouldn't I vomit oh no that's why you need to embrace

that way that's the thing no but I hate vomiting I haven't when you're drunk vomiting isn't an issue yeah no it is just drink like half a pint of water then immediately vomit it's way

no but I haven't vomited in like six years actually no I've been vomited upstairs I was like two years ago I hate vomiting I never do it it's like I never want to actually make myself on I nearly vomit every

lunchtime because I eat so many eggs like like no describing that just sounds like me like I get so much mad dopamine off of doing shots it's like I love it yeah

whereas I don't every no because that's the thing because when we're fucking pissed like we did when we last went out out but we're still ordering shots when the bar is closing because it's just like yes let's go and I'm just throwing down every shot I can find I love it

you've got to keep a keen eye on the the little addiction man in the brain because I don't know about you guys but like I I can notice in in my brain the voice when I have like one drink that says we've had one like have another mm like you need to have

another yeah yeah you haven't had enough yet yeah yeah but that guy never stops yep you know and if you let that guy run rampant now like putting him in check out every now and again yeah like today I had like two sips of wine like a small wine and then immediately my brain's like well go on like you need a glass a big glass and it's like no yeah no my brain you need to keep that shit and check my that's what's my problem when I go out drinking is because it's like because I don't drink alcohol often but it's like when I go out my brain's like you go keep fucking going and that's when it's like two in the morning I'm still fucking the switch is on yeah yeah it's like go in like generally speaking I try not to drink often because I don't know

I end up like that because if I do that way often it's like I'm generally on the slow time alkalism so I do try to keep that in check yeah I guess because of like I think I have the affliction like our mother has that she's described to us where like she starts to like feel a hangover as she's drinking like before it's even like over um the older I get the like more that's happening to me um where like just after a couple I'm starting to just like everyone like processes alcohol differently like it affects their bodies differently I mean

there's definitely like a level for me or once it goes over it's like this just isn't really fun for me anymore this is just like uncomfortable yeah it's difficult to know where that is because we drink at different paces that it's like by the time like I'm getting started you're already fucked

so we just keep going and you're done because like I personally I find the whole process of blacking out to be so like what do you mean by black out? Well like you have no memory of like what you've done or where you've been Or like what happened

See I don't I've never had that I don't know what you mean by black out Yeah it's not nice I've only had it once and it was It was so horrible like I never want to experience that again Because I find that so like disorienting and like Uncomfortable and just unpleasant It's like it's kind of cool though like

Because it's like the start of a mystery. Yeah, you're trying to recap... Wonder, but that's what so stressful about it because then, like, you start asking, like, how embarrassing was, like, what happened? Like, what... Yeah, but if, if you let all that sort of stuff go

and just start, like, focusing on, like, wow, nothing actually is real. No, that's how you go. A different path, really. I remember, so when we did go drinking and, like, you disappear because you felt too bad and whatnot, and we kept drinking, it was just like,

at one point, I was just like, started walking into a housing estate with like no phone on like battery on my phone was just like I'm going home walked in certain to some random housing estate and ended up in barbed wire and you were like that's right you ripped up your jeans in barbed wire like do you remember that happening yeah because that was it's your path next to me that I didn't go on I just went through the bush and yeah yeah that was what you guys were like went by samis and I was like no I'm gone that was a different time did yeah that was a different time yeah that was a different time but yeah

yeah and it sneaks up on you it's just like boop yeah yeah no i think i think it's like when you go drinking with the person who like eggs on and enables that behavior that's when it's bad because that's what you are you are we egg on each other's drinking every time and that's why we're always the last ones left

continue to take each other on it's just the way it's almost like like a competitive it is I've got no bone in my body like that so like that's just not yeah because you know I'll crush you from that's what gets you guys into the

no the thing we do is we'll end up being the last and left and we're like full of dopamine because we're the last ones left it's like we fucking did it and then we just keep going no because there was that one like a month or two ago where um I get this like annoying hiccup thing

yeah no that was That was our Christmas day. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like midnight and I was getting so frustrated from the hiccuping. Like I'm a cartoon character.

Yeah. I just went upstairs to like try and make it go away and then it's felt asleep. And you fell asleep, you generally went to bed at like midnight and we were still up at 5 in the morning. Yeah, yeah.

And we started listening to the fucking Etrona soundtrack. Is this? like yeah but yeah this this don't don't drink alcohol bad idea avoid it

drink responsibly or whatever this yeah if you're gonna drink something drink protein shakes we've got to do this one guys from WV Long

what's the biggest internet hoax you've fallen for recently Jordan Peterson was fooled into believing that a Chinese dick sucking factory I

I saw this one I saw this one it was still alive I saw it I saw I like lost my I was I was like in a ball on the floor like I was losing it

um that was a Chinese dick sucking factory where sperm was being forcefully extracted from people by the Chinese government was real in reality

he'd just retweeted a video of fetish milking porn my question is whether any of you have seen anything on the internet before and instantly believed it was real

I link the article because it's just too good to ignore Bear Bear Jar Boys Um yeah You see it, Brett Yeah It's like you just have to look at it And it's like yeah that's like porn That's fetish porn

Not Why would it be fun like that Not state enforced Dick sucking Come extraction Um I couldn't Coney 2012 is my one

Yeah That's where my head immediately meant to. See, no, I was going to make a joke saying COVID. No, my one is that, that video of, um... The bear. What video, the bear? The fucking Russian guy think each other.

The bear, that's the hoax I thought fell for. No, the hoax, um... Which is like the most obvious shit, but it's that video of someone who looks like Andrew Tate, like on the phone, walking really, Hemp. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was actually him. Yeah, I think I saw that thought it was in.

Should I read, Vice wrote an article about this, Jordan Peterson thing. Should I read it? Yeah. Okay. Weiss are doing some heavy hits in a moment. Jordan Peterson, very concerned by milking porn factory. After the internet celebrity,

psychologist tweeted a fetish porn clip and called it CCP hell, the phrase Chinese dick-sucking factory went viral. psychologist, former professor and self-help author Jordan Peterson retweeted a fetish video of a penis milking porn clip on Saturday seemingly duped into believing that it was footage from inside

a Chinese communist sperm extraction factory The tweet from user Song Ping Kuang who frequently post supposed videos of Chinese state surveillance said, what's going on in China? Three child policy? with a clip from a fetish porn shoot of a row of people lying on a table,

sorry, row of people lying on a table getting the dick sucked by pumps dangling overhead. Peterson quote tweeted it, writing, Such fun in unbelievable techno-nightmare CCP. The implication, it seems, is that the Chinese Communist Party's running dystopian bondage, forced ejaculation clinics. The tweet in Peterson's response, went viral with the moment earning its own know-your-me-page in what has to be record time. The Twitter account apologised a few hours after Peterson's quote tweet saying that they stumbled

into the video on We-Chat and believed it to be a real sperm bank. I found this video on We-Chat and they said it isn't... This is China's collection room for sperm bank, they said. Turns out that it was a video from the UK. England. Hey! One of the gooners from England, yeah. Some sperm banks in China do use machines to help people jerk off into cups, but those look a lot more sterile and are basically motorized fleshlights housed in plastic.

Not the Matrix green fetish milking room that they originally implied was an invention of the Chinese government. But hold up. That's just kind of... So they do have like... No, but that, no, because the, the, having fleshlights that just, you can just, yeah, that you can walk up to and get milked is very different to being chained up and milked. Changed up and milked. My thing is, how can Jordan Peterson say this is some sort of hellscape? Yeah, it's like an ideal situation.

Yeah, it's like a dream. Fuck yeah, let's go, China. Here we go. They got like mechanized fleshlights that milk you. Yeah. And I was like, please, no. No, not the sucky try. All of this has led to quite a few people likely learning what milking porn is for the first time.

In this context, a milking fetish is not the same as erotic lactation or lactophilia. It's about systematically pumping cum out of a row of penises like you would a herd of dairy cows. a variety of milking techniques exist there's the pump setup that Peterson tweeted where the subjects lay on their back penis skywood cupped inside a tube that uses suction one can also lie face down on a milking table

dick through a hole for someone or a machine to tug it from beneath there are a hundred there are a hundred different variations of milking beyond these however involving varying degrees of equipment. A simple penis pump could be considered a milking machine, as could the auto blow AI or fleshlights launch.

Isn't your hand a milking machine? I guess technically. It can be. Most of the time, Dick milking porn is part of a subset of other more mainstream fetishes, like medical fetish, where there's a doctor or nurse and patient roleplay dynamic, or fendombing, femdoming and bondage. there's also a forced orgasm element blah blah blah but it's almost never about Chinese state control overcome that's a good one thanks Jordan yeah well at

least he like taught us something for a change he put the fear of God in us or the what's the opposite fear awesomeness the awesomeness of the devil in us the awesomeness of the milking yeah if the government was like look we're running low on kids and like we're just going to pick people at random

to milk for like a year would you be annoyed if your name got called or would you be kind of like weirdly this has kind of been on my mind as of last episode where we were talking about spreading our seed across the world and I was thinking about maybe that would be a good idea to donate a bit of sperm

and just have like a bunch of kids just out there you know that I got nothing to do with so like the jar the jar sperm bank the sciop jar siop sperm bank no because it's like we can take the ARG to the next level where we spread our seed across the world and like

when these kids try to find their like biological father it's like they end up on jar and it's like this ARG to find out which one of us is the actual philogicerva. Do people who go and purchase the sperm from sperm banks to put inside themselves

to have babies? Do they get like a description of... I always imagined it like a bit of a dossier. Like a folder. And you're like, oh, he looks nice. I want his genes. I'm pretty sure legally speaking in the UK, that's not the case.

because otherwise it encourages selective breeding which is okay in America you're allowed to do that in America you actually find the man you want to want the come of so what is it's like a mystery box yeah do they show you it's like a loop box it's like you can get the

golden guy or you might get the green it's like the risk of like yeah rare degenerative disease well obviously in the UK it's like you can't if you've got like a degenerative disease you can't They say we don't want your semen. Yeah, I guess you're not allowed, which I guess is selective breeding, isn't it?

Basically. Yeah, kind of. But in America, you can just choose who you want to... That's like this, America's thing. So we should just ship all of our cumb to just these places to see what happens. To every country in the world. Yep. Infiltrate from within.

Now, that's a statistic I'd like to see broken down. Once it's out there, like which country adopts jar cum, like more. What country would it be? France. I think it'll be like a real oddball one, like Iceland. Somewhere really random, yeah, somewhere. You'd never anticipate. Mongolia.

These Mongolians just can't get enough of Jockam. How did we get... Oh no, yeah, I remember. Yeah, I don't know, Brie. Jordan Peterson Always takes you straight to come. Always. Every time without fail.

It's his hidden, like, secret to being like a better person. It's his ziop. Come in your room. The milking, cummy, Dio! Run! Do you want to end on this journal media creepy pasta? What am I supposed to do? I didn't have anything else planned.

I mean, yes. It's story time. Does it involve cum? No. Or any milking machines. I haven't, because it's so long, I haven't actually proofread it, so let's just see where this goes. From Vaxel. You guys need to give it a scary rating at the end.

JAR Media Creepypasta. I wrote a JAR Media Creepypasta. If you all don't know what that is, it's an internet story that's meant to be scary or creepy or unnerving, but most often the knot just comes across as poorly written, generic, and full of contrivances and shitty elements. I decided to make one myself that plays on the various tropes of creepypastas and bad internet stories,

all about you guys. Without further ado, let's jump right in. I often revisit older episodes of the JAR Media Posdact, watching through tens of them until I inevitably stop, only to do it again however many months later. I'd just open up the full playlist, start at a relatively early episode and just make my way through. Upon this most recent mass rewatch, however, I discovered a strange anomaly. During one of the many stints that included only Jamie and Alex, I found an episode that was in the recommended sidebar, but was left out of the full playlist.

It was simply titled jarcast.mp4, which at first had me confused, but knowing this channel it seemed like another silly joke thing Alex had come up with, so naturally I decided to watch. Weirdly enough, though, this episode was a whole five hours long. Initially, it came off as strange, but I recalled that one episode where a giff of Mr. Bean played for a whole two hours at the end, and I'd assumed that this was a similar case. The episode started with the normal game-on intro I'd come to expect. After the intro, there was a slight pause. Then I shit you not for a solid ten minutes, Alex and Jamie broke into an immense laughing fit.

They just kept laughing and laughing. By the end of that 10 minutes, their faces were completely beat red. I, of course, wondered what the hell was so funny. But sadly, it was never explained. Kind of unsurprisingly so. The episode then continued as normal for about 45 minutes. That is, until Alex read this very Reddit question. XX Hot Girl Booty underscore Spider-Man underscore XX asks,

have you ever committed murder another silence followed by another actual 10 minute laughing fit this time it was only Alex laughing leaving Jamie very confused Jamie on occasion laugh with Alex due to his incredibly

joyous and contagious laugh they ended the show as normal then both got up with the camera still rolling after five minutes of the quiet smooth background jazz Alex then walks on screen carrying Jim's bloodied completely lifeless corpse. All Alex does is drag the corpse to the left side of the screen, then

dropping him on the floor to where only Jim's legs were in frame. Alex walks out without having said a single word. I was absolutely terrified yet intrigued. I thought for a split second that it was just another bit, but no, it was far too realistic to be fake. I decided to check the comments to see what the hell was going on, only to find that the entire comment section was missing, not just turned off, but seemingly completely exempt from the website. While confused looking at the blank space where the comments were supposed to be, I then heard murmuring coming from the video. Scrolling back up, I saw Alex walking in with James, both chatting and bantering as if there wasn't a literal dead body in the corner, much less

that of their friend. Upon sitting down, Alex and James just re-introdued the show again, where the episode then went on completely normal, friends. another hour and a half. Well, as normal I could be with the life, well as normal as it could be with a lifeless body in the corner. Whilst they talked and talked, you could see the flies beginning to swarm Jim's corpse and the dogs would occasionally walk by and sniff it. I was so utterly confused and disturbed, but my curiosity got the better of me and I sat through the whole thing. After Alex and James had officially outroed the show, the camera cut to a still frame of Jamie's now slightly decomposed dead body, where it would linger for the remaining two and a half

hours, and yes, the jazz was still playing in the background. The dogs would occasionally walk into the frame, either walking around the corpse or taking nibbles out of it. I could not believe what I'd just witness, nor did I want to. I closed my laptop and hurriedly walked to my living room, but on the TV, the same episode was being played, and it was on the part where the carcass was in full view. This can't be happening, I thought to myself. No one else is home. And that ends it.

I made a Reddit account specifically for the sole reason of writing this shitty story and getting you guys to read it, Loll. Along with the story above, I'd like to thank you guys for the great content that never fails to get a laugh out of me. Never stop doing what you're doing. And as always, thank you for your time. Game on. Frightened ratings?

Um, not will. I don't know, I'm going to give that a real. I'm going to say in between, could be real, could be not real. You have to watch the shadow episode to find out.

Yeah. Yeah, give us your vote in the comment section below. And, uh, as we all normally do, I'd like to round off. We normally do a haiku each. Jim, your haiku you prepare for us friendship within us keeps keeps friends friends yeah james what's

that was the first line what's a high-key friendship within us what's a high-key friendship within us what's a high-key keeps friends But sometimes, hmm, this is my one. I'm not done. No, no, you had your chance. Mine is pippiest poppiest poy. Listen to the jar media podcast, my boy. It's not a fucking IQ.

What's a haiku? It's Japanese poem, my bro. 757, right? Mm-hmm. What? Thank you.