JAR Media Posdact - We All Have Our Own World - JARCAST Episode 191

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

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Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this episode of the JARMedia podcast or JARCast, depending on whether you like your cup of tea with sugar or without, or with milk, or without. Today I'm joined by Nostroijina, also known as James. Also known as Ski Zerigitsu. also known as Giddity Ajitsu Good afternoon And my brother from the same mother Alex

Alexander Beltman, please And before I ask you guys How your week has been I'm just going to quickly shout out The most beautiful The most beautiful people There are There is

There be And that's the patrons Ever at patreon.com That's a good point. Day and day out. Like, for example, Alex was having a rough day the other week. Oh, a terrible day. He just called up the Patrions and said,

guys, I need some support. And that's what they do. They support. Yeah. No, that's so, so true. Yeah, it's fact. They treat us well and we treat them well. It's ficked.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Nice of you to point out Alex So how have you been Pretty mixed honestly I've been taking things pretty seriously At the moment

Yeah It like just generally or like I'm gonna be straight That's a really weird thing To say it Honestly I'm trying to stop being As kind of wacky and goofy as normal

Because I feel like I'm 25 now, I'm getting old I've lived most of my life I've got to settle down you know at some point Most of the life So you're going to make it to 50 Well I figure with all the like

Ketamine I take I'm not going to last that long So You're a bit of a party animal Everyone knows me A party walker Party rock is in the house tonight I have something I need to talk about

Oh, please, I love it. Um, a topic, um, I've been formulating for a while. Kind of a big deal type thing. Um, might come across as controversial, but trust me, the more you listen, the more it'll start to make sense. Okay. Everyone in JAR has, has had a dog at some point, right? Yes. Be it flossie, be it Gaius,

be it agi, be it the new one, Paisley. You don't even know you'd own dog's name. But here is my problem, right? Dogs,

when you just feed them constantly, they get pretty obese, pretty large. They do, and we haven't had a problem with that. And, you know, there are so many sort of celebrity crash diets

and all these sort of things. But I was sort of to tell the audience about this diet you can put your dogs on that really helps and manage their weight. Where did you hear about this? I invented it myself. What? I invented it myself. When you invented it yourself?

What's special about this crash diet for dogs? The dog crash diet? so the basic premise is um stop being goofy the basic premise is you've heard of the juice diet right yeah what kind i know many well there's this sort of idea that if you just drink juice then you lose weight i guess because you're getting like no nutrient yeah that is the the scientific basis you're eating nothing so you lose weight That is kind of how it works. Yeah, so I noticed that you're getting a bit pudgy, so I was like...

Well, perhaps I should apply some kind of diet to the boy. So, first off, stop feeding him. Just full stop, stop feeding him. And instead of giving them water to drink, I give them different juices. So when they go to drink, all they drink is juice. I'm sorry, this is probably animal abuse? No, no, no. Can I ask?

Do you want to know what kind of juice or? Well, I was just kind of expecting you to keep going, you know? Um, Monday, orange juice, Tuesday. So, yeah, try it at home. No, tell me, what juice is it on Tuesday? Pineapple. Wednesday? Apple?

Thursday. Cranberry. Friday? Mango? Saturday. That's sort of the treat day, so I let them choose. I put lots of different samples in whichever one they go to first. fucking fruits that you know have juice

lemon grapefruit god damn tropical I've got did you want your dogs to lose weight you could just walk them more

I bought them a fair amount already so I thought there's no really space to explore that kind of territory So the only alternative was juice Yeah Yeah Yeah

So that's sort of my topic And has Has Argi Successfully lost weight on your Juice diet Yeah what was his weight Before and his weight now 14

and now he's seven, eight obviously he's lost like half of his weight yeah he barely moves at him or really easy as an owner sir he just kind of sits in the same place constantly

yeah yeah yeah any of some else or anything just lots of urine not much solids in his diet so he just kind of sits them and pisses all over himself Yeah, yeah Do you think this could

Go beyond the species The dog species I'm thinking Because I have a cat Oh I see yes No What I'm hoping is that this sort of concept Will go viral

And everyone will start doing it Just Viral yeah Yes I'm sort of after it to go viral So I can go on BBC News and preach Would you make an album About that? That's a bit too far

Don't be ridiculous How was your week, James? James? You know what? It's been pretty good. I kind of get home and I've had a really bit bad issue recently with falling asleep at my desk. Your desk at home or your desk at work? Insomnia, yeah. Both. Insomnia. That's right. I don't think that's insomnia. Like it'll get to like 8.30 and I'm watching a stream and I'm just head on table falling asleep. Stream? Yeah, stream. Yeah. Like a YouTube video of water flowing. No, like a stream, like a Twitch stream Oh, okay

Like that type of thing And I've just been falling asleep at my desk Did you ever fall asleep at school? Genuinely No, do you not remember this one time Where it was like one of those I don't know what other countries Would call it, but in the UK

It's called the PSHE Day I don't think there were Like, our school Was like the only school that had those What does PSHE even meme? Pissie shitty pissy shitty horse shit

imitation well we have these special days where it was like based on one subject like you had you had to do this one kind of thing throughout the day be it reggae physical exercise. Are you joking reggae? No, reggae like I don't remember

doing a reggae one. I remember having like a reggae music lesson on a PSHED here. basically they were kind of like a waste of your time I remember making samosas and one on really yeah so on this day I was terribly sick

and I went into one of the lessons we were all there and I basically put my my head on my bag and fell asleep and then you refused to believe I did for years you just didn't believe I still don't believe it now I don't even remember it but I don't believe that you fell asleep no I straight I fell asleep

but that's not the thing like I think I'm, like, severely, um, sleep deprived at this point that I'm, like, unwell. Like, I was sitting at my desk at work. It was about 2.30 on Monday. And, like, this sudden thing hit me of wanting to be violently sick. Like, I was sitting there. My head was fucking spinning, and I couldn't, I just couldn't do anything. And I think it's because I'm so sleep deprived.

That, like, I'm shutting down, like, mid-afternoon. Is there any way you can change how sleep-deprived you are? for example by sleeping um i haven't thought about that one um i just thought caffeine would fix it that that's it's either one or the other i do caffeine

Alex have you ever fallen asleep at school um I have a vivid memory of in year eight it was um I think it was maths I was in sat next to someone who asked me um if I knew what a granny tranny was that's my vivid memory from that

but the reason that's relevant is because I remember right before he asked me that I felt so tired that I got my pen and I wrote on my hand sleep as if to remind myself

that I need to sleep this guy this guy what I've got unique philosophies this guy ladies and gentlemen this guy you know like And speaking of, actually, James, on that table over there, you see that green pencil case.

Can you pass me that, please? Um, this one. Yeah. Oh, you? So, I'll just make this noise into the mic. I'm holding a pencil case. Um... The infamous pencil case of John Media.

This is, uh, this is a froggy. It's a pencil case with like a frog on it. it's like a frog case thing and uh i was so sad lonely and pathetic in around that time that i created a universe my own universe my own world yeah but this that doesn't necessarily make like that's not sad necessarily no to me it's awesome but i'm sort of putting that out there so if someone calls it sad then I've already called it sad myself so so I've sort of taken the power

away from them being able to do that in a sense or giving them power by saying it's sad but yeah this is this is Froggy the pencil case and it was part of the universe that I created that universe being

um I called it I called it I called it spice That was my universe Yeah, this is horse shit then No, I'm one hundred percent No, no

You did not call your world Let me elaborate The world story was called Spice, I don't know why I never came up with any Like reasoning for that But it makes it place On a planet

That was a giant Applecore It was a huge Apple core And on one side of the Apple Corps lived a character called the gin

de jinn or whatever and on the other side lived the ice cream man and there was this like sort of good versus evil dynamic the ice cream man was the evil one right

yeah the ice cream man was the evil one obviously and I was always developing the universe of course adding characters constantly Schwepp was one of them would you write this down yeah Yeah, somewhere

I tried finding it the other day I have all my old like textbooks and stuff where it says like science with a Mr Man and then like you open the pages and there's like one page of science and then he turned it over and it's just constant

like just random like just bizarre shit like that for my universe I'm I was sort of a classic good versus evil story Yeah Do you remember like

So it was less of a universe And more of a linear story Yeah I was plotting out a universe So I could eventually tell my story In set universe Because you have to start somewhere I suppose yeah And there were these creatures

That in a 3D plane were 2D So you could only see them from a certain angle. And if you managed to see them, then... If you saw them, they would... If you saw them, they would... They had like one big eye, but the eye was see-through. It was like a hole, a hole where that I was. And if they saw you, they would, like, teleport you to another dimension and die.

So you were, like, trapped in another dimension. Wait, so the creature would die. Yeah, it would use so much energy to teleport you to another dimension, it would die. So, and it's two-dimensional. People would see them all the time. No, because they're smart sort of creatures and they're sneaky and they would hide. They just have to... Because they know the power they possess and they want to make sure they send the right person to another dimension. So it's just like a horror thing?

No, it wasn't a horror. It was more of a sort of... epic, sci-fi fantasy. Do you remember the story? How'd you gotten that for? I didn't have a protagonist. I never got to a protagonist, but what I did get to was, um, I knew the antagonist, ice cream man, being the ice cream man,

who he could sort of hop between dimensions. So he was in, one of the dimensions was our, like, earth. Hence the ice cream man thing. So he would, he was an ice cream man and that's how he would sort of get his energy sort of like the creature from it

where like it would as an ice cream man would sort of kidnap or eat or I don't know what he would do but he was a villain of some sort yeah I don't get the story this is weird because when we were kids

like we'd often talk about the ice cream man as like a villain because we'd always hear the music, the really scary ice cream truck music. Yeah, the ice cream truck music is like kind of creepy so we were like making up stories. I didn't realize you took it to this degree and like

to me that was just fun game you know, for when we're playing. It's like a transdimensional being that kidnapped children for energy. But obviously you can see how

I mapped out a lot of these creatures too Like these 2D beings I drew them So I know what they look like in my head I think I know what they look like as well Because I think I've seen pictures like them before But obviously you can imagine some kind of story Where one of these 2D beings uses its power to teleport someone

To the dimension to stop the ice cream mat So from reaping havoc on the earth or just the children he's using to harvest energy and this is called spice and it's called spice yeah because I liked the idea

of there being some kind of thing that you took called spice that made you be able to communicate between dimensions I was in year 8, okay? Your people got absolutely high off spice

and just started talking to their friends Yeah, this sounds like someone that has been on like I swear to God, I've never taken anything like that I was in year 8, in your what, 13, 12? We do know about the whole PVA glue No, but I'd never mess around with that sort of thing I just totally existed in my imagination

until it yeah like a nerd until it was beaten out of me and I felt so ashamed of my my ideas that I just stopped doing it around you'd I reckon we should start writing yeah I can't white but Alex sure can

that's one word for it I have the unique ability to trip balls without taking anything yeah you're just retarded yeah some neural pathway some social strands just gone completely wrong somewhere we need to connect those social strands

and you're the key yeah don't send me to another dimension though that shit could get scary how else are we going to connect the social strands we need to send you Alex and you alone if you have an idea for some kind of crazy universe in your head listener or watcher

don't let it get beaten out of of you elaborate. Become the writer you were destined to be. Do you think, would you have liked to have been a writer? I'm sort of a writer like Brian from Family Guy.

What do you mean? As in someone that writes novels? Because you're always coming up with like cringy stories. James, do you not think Alex was like kind of destined to be

a novel writer. Yes. Like the guy he created scienceology. Yeah. It's like awful science fiction in his stories. Yeah.

Yeah. No, yeah. Alex definitely has the mindset for it. Yeah. Where did it go wrong then? Just bullied to the point. Yeah. It could have been somebody.

Jarr always goes back to being bullied at school and how we want to take revenge. don't why we we only saw joker the one time so it wasn't no I'm not I don't want to use my powers for evil what powers my interdimensional travel

because I always love I loved English I loved did you I loved English yeah see that's that's a big difference between you and me because I was I've always been shit English hmm like

like dog shit like stinky farts I was even worse than you yeah I'm fucking terrible but I'm like obsessed with words but I've got the mass brain I'm right and the science

I've got like more of the mass vein than Jamie though okay six times 20 24 well you proved your point pretty well you proved your point pretty well It's 240, isn't it, idiot?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. I mean, yeah. Yeah, man. I mean, like, the thing is when it comes down to it, I think everybody's got cringy stories. Everybody all the time is writing their own cringy story in the head. I do it in my head all the time and I'm going to work.

No, no, I think everyone does it. What's your cringy story? no it's it's not like just one it's like an amalgamation of like everything you like yeah but even like the bad things like you i don't know you know do you know what i'm saying no i have no clue no listen you're you're you're just intentionally trying to not understand no i'm trying to get you to elaborate so i understand the crazy batshit things you're saying what no tell me what's crazy about what i just said you're saying everyone has gringy stories.

Everyone thinks of self-insert stories, basically. Yeah, basically. No, but how was the thing I just said a self-insert story? You said you hadn't decided a protagonist yet. I wonder what that protagonist would be like.

You, idiot. No, I purposefully, if I was that kind of person, I would have had that character and it would have just been me self-insert. I purposefully didn't have a main character. Yet. Yeah, and I never got to that point.

And if you had, you would have shared qualities with that character. Everyone's the protagonist of their own story. You know, can you imagine writing a book from the perspective of a character who, like, was born in Russia and lived in Russia his whole world? Yeah, you obviously write about the things you know. Yeah, that's my point. Washer? I know washer. But also, you want your good guy to have the same values as you, or at least learn a lesson that you've learned. I was always more obsessed with, like, villainous characters, though.

I like... So you're the ice cream man. That's the silver insert. No, I never saw myself as the ice cream man. If anything, I saw myself more as the Dijin. Well, the gin. I don't fucking know. Because I was obsessed with like...

I remember the gin. Yeah, I remember it as well. Like, why? It's in my... It was in my head before you brought that up. Like, why... Because I would love reading these... I was obsessed with, like, Greek myths.

I was obsessed with... The dark crystal. The dark crystal. This is screaming dark crystal to me. Really? Yeah. That's not interdimensional, though, is it? No, but just the, like, apple...

core thing. You know? A giant apple core planet. I assume it's not literally Applecore. It's just like there's two bits. I envisioned it as a giant apple in space that... Literally an apple. Yeah, and to stay alive, they would like mine the apple.

Because it's like... And that's a finite resource. Yeah, and that was like... That added a sense of urgency to the story because the Apple core was like nearly snapping enough because it was so eaten so basically the real world there you go you got

you got a sort of metaphor there for humans over over farming and that sort yeah I'm very impressed if you didn't explain it further I don't want people steal my idea I don't want people steal my idea

I am right, though, about everyone having their own stories. No, yeah, 100%. Okay, tell me your story then. It's not that simple. It is, I did. No, but you, you double, you, you, you went in on one. You all had many. My main one.

Actually, it's not my, is my main one. What can be more main than writing in your science books about it? That is your main. No, because my, that's why I could never tell you any, like, story I've ever come up with, because I don't write them, I would never write it down. I don't draw images from it. It's just like, um, a concept I have always been completely obsessed with is the, is the, is the, um, like the artificial life created by humans, robots, uh, AI type of and I was like obsessed for trying to formulate a unique way that isn't Blade Runner basically and then I saw Blade Runner 2049 and was like

oh and then just scrapped all of that in my mind Was that your main one until Blade Runner? No I would say that was just one of a few I don't have a dinosaur one surprisingly enough.

What can you do with dinosaurs? That's the thing. You'd have to think of a good angle. James, what's your... Do you have a story? No. I don't have a story. So they're proving you wrong.

James don't have no story. No, but he has had stories. Yeah. See? I was just a World War II soldier. That was all my stories. World War II soldier. So it was quite an oppressive one then,

quite hardcore. because mine's all like a bit campy no mine was just that my main one was I was this ripped dude with a massive dick and he just fucks loads of whores

all the time are you saying that's not you I mean yeah it's crazy when your mind where your mind takes you when you're uh when you let it

It seems like kind of a coping with reality sort of thing, you know? Like you take in all these things and like you come up with stories to sort of explain why those things happen, you know? Yeah, you want to...

The, the... the... the, the... the, the... what... The, the, the lessons. You know? Like a, like a, like a, like a nice... Aesop's fable type of thing.

Yeah, yeah, like, you're taking little things from reality and teaching yourself lessons from them. Do you know my favorite Aesop's fable? It was the one where the rhino would take his skin off, and then someone put, like, sand in his skin. And then he put it back on, and his skin was really itchy. But I can't remember what is, uh, what the actual lesson was. Uh, don't take off your skin. Yeah, why would you take your skin off? There was some lesson.

It clearly stuck with me. Well, the lesson didn't. Having your skin removal. Just a rhino removing its skin and then putting its sandy skin back on was quite a vivid thing in my mind. Is it one for don't eat sand? Yeah, it's kind of rough and coarse

and it just gets everywhere. Have you ever had like a sandy peanut butter sandwich? It ruined my ex-peanour for life. It's the same. When you go to the beach, make sure you don't drop your sandwich on the floor and then continue to eat it. Well, I actually had a comic series, a superhero comic, that I created in year seven.

I've still got it somewhere. I remember. You need to find this. Man, man and boy boy. Yeah, it was man, man and boy boy. Like, they were superheroes. Hence man, man, boy boy, man. Yeah.

Man, man boy boy was already taken. That's the truth, though. Man, man, boy. Man? We'll be back after these messages. Yo, yo, Pawaka, I see you wearing that walfloen. Do you not know that we've got some jar of merch for sale? See the link down in the description and get yourself a bloody Bebo t-shirt. Someone's not

Someone's not wearing their shreddies God, it reeks I wonder who it could be Get your feet off of my armrest Welcome back to the second section of the sanction of the JARME, dear podcast, where we go on to the JAR Media Reddit, where we pluck questions from the suggestion thread, which any of you out there can go and ask us anything you like,

and then we pick some to answer. Yeah, and we answer those right now, right here, right now. Cheese Gromit's going to start us off, asking, if you had to edit one thing about the human body, what would it be? I would personally get rid of hiccups. Hmm, well, allow me to think on this one. Hickups aren't consistently annoying me enough to pluck that out of my life. Maybe if I was one of those people that had that horrendous, like just infinite hiccup syndrome thing.

Yeah. Honestly, if I could, if there was a way for, for humans to not need to sleep. Yeah, that would be pretty epic. No, that would be terrible. No, why? But if we didn't need sleep. If you didn't need it, then you wouldn't feel tired.

The reason sleep is good is because it's how we recharge. Yeah, but then your life would be more work than anything else. No, wouldn't we? We'd have more time to do everything. You'd have more time to work. You'd have more time to play. You'd have more time to... Well.

What is there other than working and playing? Gaming? Playing. There's nothing. That's it. That's life. Yeah, it's work and play. Skydiving? That is play. It depends if you're like doing it or not. I would remove the eyes.

You would remove eyes. Why? Surely your eyes are one of the best things about humans. You don't know. What about some dumb shit? Like, like your pinky. finger or something. Hemorrhoids I'd remove. When you want to like remove

your fingers so you've got the night crawler hand that's just like three two fingers and a thumb. What's the benefit? I'm trying to benefit it just looks cool without eyes. That was another thing I loved when I was younger I liked X-Men 2. No I liked night crawler's hands in X-Men 2

I don't know why. I'd change cancer get rid of cancer that's a good one what about like AIDS first this is just

something about the human body cancer isn't a part of the human body yeah but we have a a what do you call it you'd remove illness yeah like a vulnerability

like whatever needs changing so everyone will be invulnerable not invulnerable but just like so a fucking six year old doesn't get bone cancer and die That's my two cents

Don't laugh This is incredibly serious So are we Dick the head says Could I please get some love Perhaps Jamie could caress my head Big Dick or Little Dick Little Dick obviously

Big Dick or Little Dick Do you get it? Chiefie Cake asks Sorry Thoughts on the new Episode 9 Lego sets Uh Skip

Shit They're I'm not very impressed Ooh I'm not I'm gotta be honest Another fucking Y wing Another fucking A wing

What's the point Oh He does have a good point Why you just do that Over and over You know I saw a great thing that was like

about the new Star Wars that we're saying like I'm sick of new Star Wars just it's not even making new Star Wars it's just sort of in reverence of old Star Wars it's just trying to create old Star Wars it's not trying to make a new thing like a new interpretation it's just And that's why it's so pathetic and rubbish

Okay here we go Dig the Head has another question for us Rank these shows from best to worst. Bonus points if James gives an in-depth analysis on each. So we've got four shows here. The Orville,

shit, big mouth, Real Robb and Family Goh. Real Rob is at the bottom. Real Rob out of those four is the worst one. Um... No question. I'd say, in my opinion, Real Rob, Orville,

Big Mouth, Family Go. Wait. So you think the best one's real Rob? No, that's the bottom, I just said. That's the worst one. And the best ones... No, but the question was best to worst. So what's the best?

Family guy. Right. Then Big Mouth, then the Orville. Then real Rob. I think the Orville might be better than family go. No, I'd agree with this. No, think about iconism. It's not about iconikism.

I also think Big Mouth might be better than Family Guy. I mean, this is the problem, though. Family Guy is so long running. Some of the early episodes are genuinely sort of funny. Yeah. The Big Mouth only had three seasons. Yeah, and all of it sucks. Real Rob is no doubt the worst one.

No doubt. No question of my mom. Have you seen any real Robb, James? No. Rob Schneider's sitcom. Good. where he thinks he's like Larry David. He thinks he's Seinfeld.

Yeah, yeah. Unbelievable show on Netflix if you want to give it a watch. Don't give it a watch. This is actually really hard because I don't like any of them. I think they're all bad in some way. I'm sticking to my original list.

I think you might be right, Family Guy. If I had to watch one of these shows, Family Guy would be the one. Exactly. Yeah. Family Guy. then Big Mouth Then the Orville

For me it goes In order of like Which one bores me the least Yeah that's why Family Guy and Big Mouth Rarely give you a minute to think Whereas real Rob It's just

It might as well be static on the screen Yeah And the Orville is just like Eating a stale Fucking pizza With burrito sort of us. No, I'm with you.

I think we solved that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in agreement. Okay. Eat Sleep anime has a question for us. If your whole life was reset but you still had all your memories and skills of your current self, what would you do differently? I swear we've had this type of question before because if you do anything differently,

we wouldn't exist in the first place, so it's a bad question. No, that's not the question. The question is, if you could sort of restart life. It's basically if you were re-encumbered. New Game Plus. Yeah, New Game Plus. Yeah, that's exactly what it is, yeah. I...

You would be so ahead of the curve for your, like, year. Yeah. You'd be put ahead so many years in this. That's something I'd be different then. I would pretend to be dumber than I am. You know what I do? I teach the bullies a lesson You teach the bullies a lesson you'd get ripped then

You'd get absolutely jacked Yeah, I probably am going to That's something I would do as well Be healthier I mean that's not like something I can't do now But you know that shit is sad No no no No let's actually think

Most of our year We were the most physically active We were fucking be on bikes. I see some bikes. That's another thing I'd change. I wouldn't have ridden a bicycle to school. Why?

Too much bullying. Yeah, you did get bullied. I don't remember the bike thing being that ridiculous. It gave me such an advantage because you got home so quick. No, like... No, people would literally just mess with your bike every time. The cool people that slung their backpack over one shoulder, they'd never ride a bike. yeah exactly

yeah but why would you want nah fuck no I would have been a cool guy and I would have like started loads of fights yeah what the fuck no that's a lie um I would be way more confident

yeah I mean that's the obvious one that's boring to say that yeah but like that's just the obvious answer yeah instead of retreating into a shell as soon as going to secondary school

I would have I reckon I should have started just like taking hardcore drugs at a way younger age Yeah Yeah

That's got a sort of positive Journey Yeah trajectory Yeah So that's what I'd do Honestly There couldn't be A worse curse

Than being sent back Yeah because you'd have at least At the very least all of school would just be the most boring thing I mean it already was but doing it all again imagine having to do it again

the years the years upon years of going through it again because you'd have like your experience in your life as an adult it's just like you would literally be Stewie

no no I'll say you I will do I'll just fucking off myself I don't want to do it again I'd just be like I've done this I'm done well you wouldn't see it

as sort of a blessing in disguise no i it would be the my living nightmare okay well honestly i would try harder in sick form that would be something would there not be some weird sort of morality thing going on where if if say for example you're five years old and you're just starting to go to school and everyone else around you is like the actual five-year-olds who don't know anything but you're way more intelligent is there not some weird dynamic going on there You could create this weird, like, cult thing

because you're just so intelligent. Oh, that's a good point. And you could, like, manipulate all the idiot kids around you. Yeah. Like, start a... Just a huge cult. Dang. Yeah.

Just run the whole town. Nice idea, bro. Lawrence Fiddler has one. Fuck, Mary Kill. Doug Walker, Angry Joe, and Peter Griffin. Kill, Doug Walker. marry angry joe marry peter fuck angry joe no i'd marry angry joe no i can't agree with marrying peter he's too abusive yeah no but he's funny

angry joe though yeah i feel like angry joe would treat you right yeah dog dog that's why i just want to fucking once i want to see that that that gentle touch you no but fucking isn't he might not be gentle with that you might not see his name is Joe? Yeah. Nah, I know what he's like behind the scenes. Yeah, but you... Got a heart of gold. I know it.

Yeah, but so you'd rather be with someone who abuses you versus just fuck someone who treats you well instead of having the person who treats you well and fucks you abusive one? I'd be married to a cartoon character. And he could introduce me to Lois and I could cheat on him with Lois and it would be this whole thing.

That's cringy. I used to fucking love him. Lois. Out of like all the family show mums or whatever. Because Meg's like Yeah, you

Come on. Come on. A mum. No, you know what I mean? Like, Meg isn't even part of the dynamic. And you are you saying the sex appeal is Lois?

Think of all the we sexualized cartoons. Are you talking about sex appeal or just like a character you like? sex appeal then it's obviously not then it's marge you're thinking inside the box think outside the box

you're at lois's voice as well yeah exactly now lois's voice is there was shows cartoon shows for kids that are hypersexualized you just pick someone from them what like adventure time no no vent oh yeah

adventure times it's hypersexualized isn't it what what are you talking don't I you'll grow up one day yeah what hypersexualized Kids shows, are you watching?

Don't mind. Because Family Guy was quite sexual. There were loads of scenes where Lois is like, Peter, come on, plow me, Peter. Yeah, and she fucks a dog and stuff. And there's like one, there's an episode where she was, like, in a porno or something like that.

Really? Yeah. James is getting rigid just thinking. Yeah, yeah. What's the question? Yeah, I mean, I guess we can all agree on murdering Doug Doug

Angujo we love you That's quite literally Angry Joe Like Angry Joe and Peter Griffin Either or You know Just roll a die

Or a dice Woo George is not okay Asks us this Have you watched BoJack Season 6 part one What do you think? Jim and I have

James doesn't fuck with that shit Yeah Yeah It's not Sexwise enough It's not Japanese It's not Eastern Yeah

If Bojack was made by A Middle Eastern country Would you watch it Fuck no Huh Ah Jesus Yeah Jim and I've seen it Yeah it's good

Yeah it's good I'm I just want to know how it ends now Yeah, it is kind of annoying That they've done this like part one part two thing A lot of shows do it Breaking Bad did it Yeah

But it's just like with Netflix Because I didn't even know Because it's so critically acclaimed They probably don't want it to win Yeah Yeah But I just mean like It's hard to get hyped for something

When you don't even know When it's coming No I do know when it's coming It's coming next year January I think it's not that far away no January's really soon yeah I'm just saying like

I find it hard to keep track I really like it I really like it that show yeah it's really it's really very good and very sad yeah it's it's not a I ain't no family guy

no ain't no big mouth it's quite intense it's what big mouth wishes it was yeah yeah no spoilers or anything but If you haven't checked out Big Bojack, they both begin with the B.

I'd highly recommend it. The first few episodes are awful, though. I feel like you have to say that. Yeah, the first season is kind of... The first season is pretty weak up until that Todd episode, and then it sort of picks up after there, and you sort of get what it's doing. What about this one from Jacko Rogers?

Are there any sports you guys are into Or watch regularly? Additionally, any sports stories from your childhood? Well, obviously, just look at us. We're obviously sport fanatics. Yeah, clearly we're... Yeah, just from BoJack Horseman to, you know, a favourite, you know, rugby team. I've been interested in football, still kind of am.

I went football training last week, actually. don't actually go to football training once suddenly I said I just went to football training once would I do it again probably it's good to keep healthy and active

not really sports person though be the fucking lame word that I am I was always more interested in Star Wars than I always like swimming yeah I like

non-competitive act. Yeah, but even saying that, I I did do one of those like official swimming races a couple times. Yeah, you did, yeah. I remember coming second in one of them and being like, how did I only come second? I tried so hard. I exerted myself so much. And I, I remember really liking sort of gymnastics and running. Yeah, I was always good at running. Like 100 metres

sprint. I infamously beat James. You did not beat me. I literally spaded at the end for you because you were that slow. James could never keep up with me. No, I could. I beat you.

I fairly beat you. No, you didn't. James has got this fabricated memory. Fabricated memory. Everybody knows I was the fastest. You won. You know, what's that car movie?

The Pixar one, like the main characters are car. All the characters are cars. Trucks? Yeah, trucks. It's got lightning. Is it like that one that's in the same universe as planes?

Yeah, but anyway, I'm the lightning queen of trucks or whatever it's called, but in reality. No, I know what it's called. Vehicles. Yeah, Pixar's vehicles. Automobiles actually, you fucking idiot. No, I think it's vehicles. Pixar's vehicles. Pixars. That sounds cooler. No, Pixar's, it's... It's easy to print on a, like, toy. Vehicles, Pixar's vehicles. Yeah, vehicles, Lightning McQueen. You know? And I was the, I was the green one who literally beat him. The green one beats him by cheating and being a scumbay.

Spoil vehicles for everyone then. The blue one then that beats him. The blue one falls over and dies. I'm going to have to edit this out because this is spoilers for vehicles. Like we haven't... Vehicles came out years ago. Years and years and years have passed. Didn't vehicles three come out like a few years ago?

Years ago. I ain't never seen vehicles three. I ain't gone on. I saw vehicles two and my God, it was bad. Vehicles two. That's the one with the spies. isn't it? Yeah, they're like spy vehicles all of a sudden and it's like really annoying. Michael Kane's like, you're a spy vehicle, in it?

That's the best thing. Yeah, I mean, there's, anyway. I like trains. What was the question? Sports and like childhood sports stories. Skip. No, I remember, don't you remember this? At the secondary school we went to, we had to do rugby in winter. Yeah. And do you remember like going into that like damp change? changing room.

Oh, yeah, the smell. Changing into your rug, yeah, that smell that's like a combination of do, man sweat and like, farts, mold, yeah, all of it, just horrendous. And then you go out in zero degree weather.

Wearing, like, shorts, wearing shorts, and it's just miserable. Absolutely miserable. Nobody wants to tackle anyone because the ground was frozen. Sort of wok solids, you just fucking cut your legs over. But I remember we do

when we were doing rugby I rugby tackled someone once just like huge guy and I got him down to the ground and I was like really proud of myself and then like 15 minutes later he like got revenge on me he like rugby tabled me back

and of course like I was what year nine probably scrawny little kiddie big huge guy tackles me me to their ground. Now, I remember that hurting.

No, yeah, because the thing was, the bad, like, the horrible people would literally see rugby as a way to literally physically hurt people and get away of it. So they would just charge at you, full speed, just fucking knock you the fuck over and get away of it. And they did it with malicious intent.

Rugby was fucking terrible. That's why I was on the people who stood at the back just walking around, not doing it, because it's just like, I'm not stupid. I remember, um, playing hockey, actually. It's not like nice hockey or anything, but something changed one day and I was just like, you know what, I'm just going to fagging go in. I'm just going to go hardcore. And I was a legend.

Really? Because everyone was like a little bit scared and I just went for it. Jim went in. Yeah. This was like towards the end of school. So it was like year 10 or 11. And I became. The hockey master.

You know, like, I got flown all around the world, playing hockey. That moment happened where, like, we're about to lose, but then I do something epic. It was the start of the, uh, you get in WIPP story, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's your story. Your story is the hockey story. Yeah.

Yours is like a Will Ferrell thing, really like. No, but this actually, it's actually, it's actually, generic. Bullshit, comedy, fucking. A rise and fall, then rise to. story, like every Will Ferrell yeah okay

no that's just Jim's life though I don't make it like a story yeah hockey legend Jamie Belkman tried his best

because there was that thing about that's something that people would say as well because I'd always like belt the ball would smack it really hard bounce it

Belman smack it really hard Well, I didn't play ice hockey, so it wasn't like a hockey. Yeah, what, the, what are they using hockey? Because I remember a ball. No, not a tennis ball. It's like a hard ball. It was like a quick, a big cooker ball.

It was just a countdown to when the hockey ball was going to get flung and smack someone really hard. Yeah. No, but it would often, you'd either get hit by somebody else's hockey stick. Yeah. And because it was so cold, it was extra painful. Or the ball would, like, launch. smack right into your ankle. Maybe that's why my ankle hurts to this day.

I don't even know, I don't, I don't think you're allowed in jar if you don't have a, a bug at ankle. I don't think doesn't have a bugger uncle. But we're gonna give him one. That'll hoodie, it has one for us. Use a movie title that best describes your last shit. Give me a moment.

Uh, 28 days later. Wait, this is awfully familiar. We've done this before, because we did the thin red line. Apocalypse now. The good, the bad and the ugly. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Detective Pikachu. Space jam.

Rampage? Vehicles. Rush Rush Rush Rush Um Um

Boss baby Uh Boss baby Nice guys Uh Spector I need to send Huh

Johnwick 2 Black Hawk down Stuff are your ones actually work Yeah, James James wins the thin red line There's not one funnier than that About dread

Dread I still think The thin red line is funnier Thin red line is Thin red line is That's so fucked up What even is thin red line It's a war movie

Black Hawk down War movies have the best like shit Equivalence Band of brothers Hurt Locker Soggy doggie Doggie has this to stay Okay

If you could say the N word without any black people offended for one day At parentheses Other races would still react what would you do with this newfound power why would I do that go to the hood and see some white people react

white people react to the M word yeah no I don't know morally I'm not going to be great like you I'm not going to do it why do you mean like me I didn't say I was going to go around just screaming the M word I did yeah I

the power to do something isn't going to change myself morally So you've never said the M word I have in a previous life Not anymore, I'm a changed man He's carniered us You just we just got carnied Hmm

No I mean The The main reason to not say that word Is to not offend You know Because of the history of it So if you know for a fact It's not going to offend

What's the problem with saying it because other races would react. Yeah, but they don't get to be offended. It's only one day. And? No, no, no, morally, I'm saying, no, morally, I'm asking you, explain yourself. What about?

No, but it still has meaning. People aren't just going to get offended by. It still has meaning. To literally everyone else, but. It reminds me that always sunny where they wake up and they're all like, yeah, that's a great ass. That is really good.

No, why is saying the N-word bad? Because of this is true. What about, uh... No, okay, I'm moving on then. No, you have to answer. Would I go around saying the N-word if suddenly black people weren't offended by it? Would you say it to at least one person? it's not like I'm like itching to say the M word

well I'm not either but you just do a social experiment man so I'd walk around until I found a black person and then I'd go up and just say the M word yeah like if which is rare in Wiltshire there are like three black people well you you just drive around

like as far as you need to go but no like what would the react what would they do do they just not hear it if this hypothetical were true? We're thinking about this too much because it's a silly question at the end of the day. It's silly.

Yeah. It's ridiculous. You better watch your mouth, boy. We even had a question about Flamer and Acid Man, but I don't think we have enough time to go. Because that was another character, like, Super Hero thing. And that's before the whole superhero craze.

Yeah, it was. I had a big superhero craze when I was a kid. Yeah. I've never had a superhero pose. I'll note down Flamer and Acid Man and we can talk about that next episode potentially. I mean, that's sort of the end of the show, really. So that's sort of the end of the show, really.

Thank you for watching this episode. Sorry for spoiling vehicles again. I mean. I'm sorry about that. Alex is mainly, sorry. Jamie doesn't Jamie doesn't care about vehicles

Yeah thanks for tuning in to episode 191 And all the patrons And all the supporters of the show We'll see you on the next episode Fathers Thank you.