JAR Media Posdact - YeahooooooYeah - JARCAST Episode 160

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia

Yeah, we're going to be able to be. Good afternoon, morning, evening or night, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to episode 160 of the JAR podcast Jhao-u-ya Yeah, yeah, yeah-o-u-ya, yeah-o-o-ya, yeah-o-o-ha, yeah-o-o-ha. I'd like to thank the, the patron over at Patreon for supporting the show and making it available on iTunes and Spotify

and you know Round of applause Reasons Reasons Fucking reasons James James Come on

I am of course The host Alex You how are you doing Pretty good joined by James to my right Yes James Your catchphrase and Jim over there

You how are you doing It is a Sunday evening now That is correct We have been doing very productive things today Things that are just going to blow everyone away Just incredible, dramatic and constructive videos Yes, queen Slay me

What does that mean? What do you keep saying that? Yes, Queen Yeah The hell Alex What hell Are you that ignorant? Sorry, guys. Yes.

Pain, death, nothing phases me. What do you mean? What is it? You can't just not explain. Well, there's nothing to explain. Yasqueen. Slae me. No, but what the fuck is that?

Yass queen. What's that from? If Haryana Grande posts a fire tweet, it's Yass queen. Yes, if Lana Del Rey uploads a picture of her in... Eating a burger. Doing literally anything. Yes, Queen. I'm surprised you don't know this

it's like you don't even use Twitter it's like you don't even live in 2019 hang on sorry for the audio listeners but I'm just doing that thing that they do in the office and parks and rack yes they look into the camera I do that all the time

you're not special god damn it so what should we talk about guys Today we're going to talk about a very deep and personal subject to me. Why don't we just go deep into politics, guys? Everyone loves that. Bosnian politics. Yeah.

I actually did plop out a little tweet. Tweet on JAR Media, Twitter. You don't use Twitter. I do as JAR Media because, you know. And then you blame me for the tweets you make. That you make. Everyone has access to it, so. No, they don't.

Me and Jim don't. It's always you. Wait, why did you call us slugs? Excuse me? Why did... What are you talking about? The jar tweet. I called you a slug in a jar tweet.

You called us all slugs. Because anything you want the jar slugs to tweet about? You really, you really want to deny that. I'm not a slug, I'm a snail. No, it's just, that's not our thing. No, it's not. That's somebody else's thing. Yeah.

Really? Yes. Who's? Does Shane Dawson do that? It's just really niche channel. It's called reload animations. No, it's, it genuinely. is um arcay g yeah what who's that the guys that just recently left o gn to do they used to be prepared

to try right they call their fans slugs and themselves slugs yeah but they stole their name from us so we can steal that's a very good point oh yeah that's fair fair right yeah no yeah i'm 100% for that jar works a lot better than what is it k lb whatever it's called uh the kFC what's the like uh Krueger, special ops. Spots nice. No. No, KGB. That was a KGB?

No, that was a joke. Oh, yeah, Alex. Did you even know who the KGB are? I don't know who the KGB are. I don't think anyone does. Anyway, continue, please. What, me? Yeah, you were talking and James

and rudely interrupted you. No, they have a t-shirt with slugs on. I don't... We can't take other people's stuff. That was not intentional, so soon. me. Yo, yo, don't say that. Please.

Thank you. Yeah, we can't... So, stole a picture of a penguin from Madagascar, so that doesn't help. No, but, as Alex said earlier, he's claiming credit for the Madagascar Quays. I want to

ask the first question that was... Oh, go ahead, please. Please, go ahead. What is your thoughts on the current political state of Bosnia? Oh, fuck. This is a deep and meaningful subject to me, so I'll have to...

Anyway, yeah. So, Borderlands 3, you got announced or something? Yes, it did. Didn't even watch the trailer. Whatever, mate. Is that it? Any thoughts on that, guys? Any thoughts on that?

Ballard's 2 was a fantastic game, great fun, but we're all going to play it and we're going to have a great... Well, great time. We're all going to play it, but Alex might drop it immediately, depending on... If it's as lame as the second one, yeah.

Sorry, guys. I think the second one is very good. But... Mm-hmm. I would never argue that it... feels right like the shooting mechanics feels horrible

I love the shooting mechanic it's so bad the only reason to play the game and it looks bad and it's really unfunny I was waiting in this latest trailer for when the typical borderlands unfunny thing

that ruins the entire thing for me would come in and it does come in does it yeah there's like some dancing thing that was like yep that's borderlands someone playing a saxophone

and it's meant to be very funny but it's not it's so painfully unfunny that it makes you want to be sick yeah borderlands humor I might thinking about it might just change the like the language of their voices yeah it's a good idea

to just like I think it Russian or something Russian's funny Russian is funny Russian is funny Russian is not only funny it's unbelievably beautiful I hate when James says that God it angers me

it is a beautiful language finally you say that about literally everything okay the wait girls live in that country whoa no they're incredible no no Russian is a lovely language and that's it I love Russian I thought we all knew that I literally learnt Russian in school mm-hmm in set eight I languages yeah

set eight languages I learned Russian I learned Chinese did you actually that was a no that wasn't a racist thing that was a Shane Dawson saying hi in Chinese it's a racist thing against Shane Dawson no that's fine we're allowed to be racist against him because we on as a jar collective we hate Shane Dawson and we really do not like him. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Let's not talk about this right now. Okay.

Okay. On the subject of Russian, it's great language. Shut the fuck out. Great input. Shut the fuck up. Boardlands, whatever. The first one was,

I'm surprised he even got a sequel because the first one was... Graphics look bad. I'll say that. I'll say that much. No, it's just self-shaded, though. No. It doesn't...

It looks like a... It looks like Borderlands 2. Years ago, they showed off tech that was like, wow, it looks like Borderlands 3 is actually going to be very visually impressive. And it looks like none of that tech is going to be used. And it looks like they're going for scope over... Yeah, which could be cool if it's like... Not if the environments are as bad. Yeah, exactly.

If there's good variation. That desert map. Yeah, there was some problems with that game. Oh, there's a lot. The best part of that game was the first half hour. which was really bad and unfunny because the clap trap just not shutting up

anyway I'm probably annoying a lot of people with my Ballines 2 thing yeah you never play it no I did play it I played it for a total nearly 10 hours I played that game You tried to get into it twice He played just a Lifeline character

Tried it twice yeah No he didn't He played as the MEC girl The Titanful character The Aquafresh said Thoughts on the Speed Limiters that will be fitted into new cars after 2022?

Is this country becoming a nanny state? Is this a thing? I haven't heard anything of it, but why why does that matter? Well, speed limiters. Then you wouldn't be able to... That's been a thing in Japan for ages. If you buy a GTR, in Japan, naturally they're limited

until you go to a racetrack, then it turns it off. Limited to what, though? To the speed limit. It's limited to, like, a certain speed, so you can't go over it. Well, the, like, the highest speed limit in the country, or... Yeah, it's a bit more

but yeah, it's limited to one speed limit. I mean, obviously there's this thing called modifications which you just bypass it which a lot of people do anyway. A lot of cars are limited.

Yeah, there's this article on the evening standard that says all new UK cars could have automatic speed limiters by 2022. And there's a thing called modifying

and you get rid of it. Within the next three years, vehicles are expected to be fitted with technology that detects speed limits and then sounds an alarm and slows down the vehicle if it exceeds the limit, under new EU rules. So to know what that means everyone... We're not going to be in the EU day. Nah, we'll still be in it by then. Let's be real. Yeah. It's not going to change anything because they're going to fit it to new cars.

So you just buy an older car? Ah! No, but isn't that also dangerous? Drivers will not be able to switch off the system completely, but will be able to override the device by pushing hard on the accelerator. in situations where speeding up could be safer, reassuring some motoring groups. So basically what they're saying is they're going to forcefully slow your car down unless you go faster. So if you start starting down, go faster and then cause more danger.

Do you think that's like, if they're able to tell, do you think it's linked to some kind of network? Yeah. So it can kind of track and insurance companies can like see you when you're speeding yourself. Because that would be, it's almost like an invasion of privacy in a way. Yeah, I mean, if they're tracking everything you go. So they can choose how much to challenge. That's what I mean? Is it like, what's the speed limit on a motorway?

Like 80? 70. Is it? Okay. National speed limit. Well, then, sure. Nobody does it. Surely that should be the, like, speed limit on the car.

Yeah. No, like commercial vans, if you go ever see any van that's got business or if it, always say restricted to X on these roads. So they are all restricted. There's just, technology has been mine forever and technology is not going to change. anything because people just take them off because it's easy no they know at the end of day what they're gonna do black boxes don't do anything as I've proved don't do a single thing it's just an interesting idea it is but I think about

the nanny state thing because honestly the UK has a rep now for being like baby town mm-hmm we're not allowed to own a knife without getting a license for it why would you want to carry on a knife no The point is people see us as big pathetic babies, baby wimps, because of our laws in a lot of ways. Because we've got, like, we've got no freedom of speech law here. We've got... Does that really matter?

It's quite important. Yeah. It's quite crucial in a lot of ways. Yeah, things like that. We're not allowed to have any kind of, um, any self-defensive weapon you can't oh yeah you can't

I mean the idea is that if it's illegal for everyone then nobody's gonna have it but obviously even that makes no sense you can't defend your house if someone breaks in either that's a look against the law

that's the kind of thing I mean yeah it's concerning if you have a bat and you were going to hit someone with it you're going to jail but if you just happen to pick up a knife and stab some that's okay

it's ridiculous yeah it's kind of inherently flawed but We still live in the county of no speed cameras. It's the street racing capital of England, so why doesn't it matter? What does that have to do with fucking anything? You're talking about a nanny state.

What does that have to do with anything? We're talking about nanny state. That literally has nothing to do with it. No, we're talking about a nanny state, and we live in the only county where there's no speed cameras. However, then people bring it around to, aren't we the country with the most CCTV in, like, the world or something? Yeah, pretty much. It's crazy, man. Yeah, we've got to consider to be like...

I mean, to be fair, from, I guess, at least from my perspective, um, it hasn't affected me yet. It sort of has. Has it? You had to pay a parking ticket that you shouldn't have paid. That's true. Okay. But I mean, I mean, that happens all over the world, though, I'm sure.

Yeah. That was bullshit, man. Because I thought, I thought I had got a legit parking ticket for messing up. But I didn't. Nasty. Like, our friend getting three points of his license were doing, like, three miles over getting caught by speed camera for three miles an hour

yeah and now it made him so angry he joined a cult because of it yeah you got to draw the line somewhere though to be fair no I'm saying dog what are you saying dog okay you can't say that so what

huh huh the whole knife thing is pretty ridiculous though because mobe you can still make bombs whatever bro and gun crimes on the wise in England yeah but I mean like

your mother's on the rise in England so what's on the wise I didn't hear that the solution isn't to just be like well guns are legal so let's make not guns illegal

gun crime is increasing so let's make guns and knives legal you know it works though James, have you ever thought about running for Prime Minister? Yeah. I'd be successful.

No, I'd be the worst because I can't lie. I literally cannot lie. Well, let's do a, like, let's say Jim and I are from, we're like journalists and we're trying to talk to you about some kind of issue. Okay. Jim? Why'd you fucking... What's like a controversial topic? Here we go.

So, Prime Minister, where do you stand on, um, abortions? What do you think about abortions, Prime Minister? How do you feel about abortions? What do you think? That's a really hard subject to start this question. That's what it's like being Prime Minister. Straight of asking about abortion. Okay, so you'd be fucked, man.

What would... Some, a lot of people in the country think abortion is wrong. Do you agree with them? Should we change law? No, we shouldn't change law. so you think killing babies is okay we shouldn't make it we shouldn't make it illegal

to have an abortion that's ridiculous so you're pro killing babies I'm not pro killing babies I'm just writing that down pro murdering infants I'm pro the woman the mothers and child's life

did you just say you think Colesville sucks if you think if you think the child's gonna go up and have a very poor life then you have to weigh those things up so it's better dead you're saying No, yes, I'm saying yes, that's basically...

Smash cut to the headline. Prime Minister... Hates babies. Hates babies. No, Prime Minister wants to kill babies. Now ask me instead. If it's not a safe environment for either... No, your turn's over. You're fucked.

You've lost the election. Good. Now Jim is Prime Minister. Are you going to ask him the same question? Yeah. Hey, what's up, dog? Prime Minister. Well, no...

I'm the journalist. Want a no question? What do you think of about? abortions. What do you think about abortions? Well, you see, we currently live in a economic state.

I mean, yeah, smash cuts of the headline. Prime Minister's a genius. There you go, you just fucking say nothing. It works. And I can't do that. No, you just go like this. So, to everyone around us, they believe

we're in a place where maybe we don't belong. I should have to say first off What's your name? Jerry? Oh Jerry, yeah First off, thanks for asking that question It's really important that you're able to communicate with me

And I'm really glad that the education system Helped you get to a point Where you're able to come and meet me and talk to me I'm really glad and happy That we're able to have this discussion right now What was the question? Wait, what was your party called again? like blue

blue bear it was something to do with eyes wasn't it baby blue baby blue or something vote vote blue vote baby blue

I don't know what it's blue because conservatives are already blue but it was something berry blue baby blue baby blue sounds right Rubin would remember

yeah his what would Rubin's party be called he's basically a dictator of what we've already gathered no we've talked about this before what we would

how each of us would control the world if we were the ultimate rulers slash dictators slash ultimate masters of the planet this is crazy though because I'm

as we all know I'm anti-group think as everyone should be but way back then before I was on my group think craze I said like Mad Max world you did pure anarchy

pure anarchy pure and our tree do you think that actually do you think mad max has genuinely affected my political ideal yes everything yes well the the fact you just you whenever we say what should we do

this evening and you always reply with is there a thunder dome nearby kind of is like yeah it's been a warning sign for a while thunder dome is kind of group thinky though I haven't seen it so sweet as fuck movie mm-hmm it is

to be honest no if I was the ultimate Wooler, the world would probably be a decent place. Oh, would it? Well, yeah, because I'm pacifistic. I don't do anything bad to anyone. Okay, so you'd just be... Apart from a group that you hate. I don't hate any group. You don't hate groups.

You don't get anywhere by hating a specific group. No, ultimate prejudice is the way to succeed. No, I'd just be nice. I can't be mean. It's impossible. So you would just be... You'd be crushed, basically. You'd be annihilated by your enemies. No, because... Yeah, being a pacifist,

wouldn't really work out if you were the If you're the ultimate dictator of the world You'd need some kind of You can't be an ultimate dictator of the world And not have a group that's against you Okay, okay, the group What are you going to do about them? I don't want to kill people.

Torture them. No, no. My name is not It's not Bolsonalia. I'm not Bolsonaro. No, no, no, no. I'm not him. No, this is the maximum efficiency way to move forward. You get the leader of the group that's against you torture them cut off their limbs

but don't kill them just toss them in the street okay so just being violating basic human whites you know how's that human rights in my world there wouldn't be human rights there would not be human rights just thought I should say that

so Alex is super white wing then that's no no no no no no no no no no no capitalism you just say there's no it would be a new it would be a newism yeah because no if nobody has any human rights, then everything is fair for everyone. Well, so then massive corporations, only by billionaires are going to... There wouldn't be massive corporation, James.

They'd all be under my foot, because I'd be the ultimate dominating power of the planet. Like, for example, if I was a dictator, I'd kill the main man of Nestle. You would kill him. He's a disgusting... No, he's a disgusting person. So it's okay, then, if they're disgusting, so you can kill them. If they're literally responsible for a lot of pain. If you disagree with the way they do business...

You kill them. No. So he would be even worse than me in a way. No, no, no. We forgets, do we know how bad he is? He's a horrible person who's done very horrible things to hundreds and thousands of people. He's a bad person.

And in your world, you'd have him slaughtered. No, I just... He wouldn't be in a position to do bad things like that. You can't make an armlet without breaking a few eggs. You don't just allow companies and mega corporations to do that kind of stuff. That's wrong. And America allows it because it's America. Oh shit, we're getting into politics.

So you better fucking stop this shit. Yeah, we're the experts of America. I know. Yeah. Hoi, hoi, hoi, ho, ho. Am I right, lads? Am I right, Bob? I love America.

Platypus nerd, at platypus nerd, said, Did you guys ever have an unironic Minecraft phase? And if so, when was the last time you played it? Uh, really, that's going to everything right now. God. Haven't played that game in a while. Okay, me and Alex had our un-Ironic Minecraft phase quite a long time. When it came out on Xbox 360.

Why does a phase of Minecraft have to be prefaced with unironic? No, because it was, loads of people loved it ironically. No, because of the memes. Yeah, but it's not a bad game. No, it's not at all. No, it's not. But you're playing it now. You're currently playing it.

I'm currently recording a podcast. What are you talking about? Literally within yesterday or the day before, you're playing it at this kind of time. What? Jim's playing it at this current time. At 9.30, we were playing Apex Legends. A game for men. Thank you very much.

A game for adults, please. Yes, and I'm... Yeah, not just men. And I'm a high level. Adults. I also have a life. What was the question? Oh, yeah, Minecraft.

Yeah. We've all played Minecraft. Of course we have. I think everyone on the internet has played Minecraft. Every single person, almost. Probably not everyone. Okay, except people in... Except to a few people.

Yeah. Everyone has played Minecraft, except for the people who haven't played Minecraft. Let's just leave it about. Let's just leave it about. That kind of covers all the bases. Yeah. I don't like Minecraft. It gives me headaches.

Shut the fuck. The music triggers... That's James is the way of saying he doesn't like something. No, it's not... It generally gives me headaches. And that's not... Didn't you say Hello Reach gave you headaches? No.

No, he did. No, I said that. No, I never said that. Mouse and keyboard makes your eye twitch. What does Hello. Reach do then? I got headaches. some Halo Reach? Because I spent all day on it

because I was a sad little loser kid who was like 14. That's why I got headaches. Why was it sad? You're enjoying yourself. Yeah. Being young and playing games, that's all you do is sad. Okay. That isn't all we did. Okay, yeah, we used

to buy bicycles all the time do cringy videos. Yeah, thank you. And then play Haloich. The rest of the time. I feel like I'm going all out today At Flurkel asks Who are your mains on Smash Bros Ultimate

My main on Apex Legends is Rave And no one cares about Apex Legends Um Alex you answer first I have a rogue's gallery of answers Yeah same Warrior, Mr Gamewatch Bowser is incredibly good

Uh, what's his name, Donkey Kong. The roster is so huge in that Smash Bros game that one of my favorite things to do is just hit random and just try and make it work. We, I don't think we are the best Smash Bros. players, to be honest. But... We're not bad. I'd say we're above average. Slightly, yeah.

I like to think so anyway. Um, I would definitely say Gannendor for me. Mm, he's very good. He's really, really fun. But obviously he's got his downfalls. Those being the person using him. Okay, 1V1 me right now. Okay, then. I'll lose.

Thank you. Um, I enjoy Snake. I enjoy Ike. So just every character then. Okay. No, no, no. I, I'm going to say it. I have a lot of fun playing Little Mac.

James gets broads in Atlanta. She's got bras and Helena. So fucked up. You didn't let me answer the question. You don't have a main? Link. Link and Lucina. Lucina. That character isn't in the game.

Lucina. Luke from Star Wars. No, it's Luke from a really bad series that's overrated in All the Rings is better. Oh, James really throwing that hot take out there. At Gateway 71 asks, Best Dorito Flavors. None because duitos aren't that nice

Cool original It's called cool dip in the UK No cool original Cool dip Cool original It's cool whip The best one and the only good one Wrong

No spicy red hot's decent But the blue one is the best one James how do you feel about orange Doritos Cheese? Cheats are the worst They're terrible They actually just make meat I think they're nice

No they're too like That's not like That doesn't mean anything You eat two and you're like Your mouth turns into cheese It doesn't mean anything Yeah, no, like What about the lime ones?

No Nah Nah Not a fan of citrus What about the beef ones? Beef? No I've given my opinion

And it's not going to change From here on out Thank you very much What about the roulette ones where No shit No, whatever I'm gonna say cheese ones Fuck you

He doesn't even believe that, by the way He never buys the cheese one He always buys the cool ones Yeah, because they're the best ones I don't always buy Doritos and Mountain Dew And then smoke weed and play video games Yes, you do What? Can you get me a Gatorade?

What's the best Gatorade Flavor Jim? None of them Not the blue one No, the white cherry one White cherry? Yeah It's called like icy cherry or some shit What color is it? White The liquid is like white

Can I just say My favourite beltman is Jamie Why the fuck Thanks saying that Thank you It's not like I'm sat right here At C snot YT said

How do the jar slugs feel about the movie Over the Hedge Because everyone I know is really split on how shit it actually is That movie is dog shit It's bad It's one of the worst DreamWorks movies As the DreamWorks number one fan in the world I have the official ranking

And I'm thinking about doing a video on it Because I've seen them all obviously I From memory it's the worst DreamWorks movie ever Shark Tale Oh But B movie Yeah

Oh B movie I reckon is better than those two B movie Is DreamWorks still a thing? B movie's fucking awful Yeah They just released House Changer Dragon 3 Oh yeah

Really good movie I was literally the only one in cinema Meem Hang on, I was just checking my list to see what the What I actually have rated as the lowest DreamWorks movie DreamWorks Animation Ranked I also like Richter a lot from sports I have Shark Tale as the lowest one

Yeah, Shark Tale is fucking awful And Over the Hedge is next you see I would prefer to watch B-movie to Over the Hedge Jim try and watch B-Movie Look at me, I'm a turtle

Hmm B-movie's too far James' thoughts on B-movie Funny? I'm a B-Me-Me-Meh I literally just don't like DreamWorks and I don't want to talk about it

because you're a hater and you're part of the DreamWorks bias fucking incredible that we can sit in the in the same room as someone who thinks such you know Jim sing the Kung Fu Panda theme

Poget broads in Atlantis Pinnu Poonoo Yeah that song's about him Alex Look, find and learn And with that We'll be back after these messages I go broads in Atlanta

Poe gets broads in Atlantis Pegas Penna Oh you get broads in Atlantis Atlantis Atlantis Welcome to part two of the cast Where we go to the JAR Media

Reddit and Jarlings or Slugs can go and leave their questions for us to answer Let's start with a comment from From King Wavy, who left a story last episode. Dear Alex, I appreciate you reading my story and hoping it was real.

If I had an IQ over 3, I would have taken a photo and posted it instead. I did burst out laughing in class once you started reading my comment and made a fool out myself, but it was worth it. My question to you and the rest of the cast is if you could live in another country, which country would it be? With love, King Wavy. Peace! Sorry. I've always the question. I'm not repeating it.

So, for me, the answer would probably be... That is a tricky one, for sure. No, it's a really difficult question to answer, because there's so many different things you need to consider. Mm-hmm. So many elements of your life that need to kind of be changed and all these different places and rules... Like facets, you know? Like force it. Let me read the question.

No, no, if you're gonna go on your fucking phone... I didn't go on my... I was looking... I was like that, Alex! That's why I kicked you and you fucking ignored. So you were looking down, but your ears suddenly stopped working, did they? I was almost falling asleep, to be honest, because I'm really tired. Jim, answer it with one word. Potentially. Yeah.

Okay, what was the question? Bidabuddy, buddy, buddy, bidi-dibdi-buddy, bidi-dibdi-bidi-bidi-buddy. Thoughts? Pretty good. Jake, says Alex, what are your thoughts? on oh no James cover your ears thoughts on

Mac DeMarco's other MacDemarco MacDemarco's other albums I know you love this old dog so I was wondering what you think of his other stuff Yeah thanks for asking for my opinion

I don't know why it's just to me No problem It's only James that hates him Hmm ding-dinge ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Ding-d-d-d-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d.

It's not edgy. You are an indie boy. It's not edgy, though. It's a really good album. Yeah. Do you know what's a really good album? Do you not like Salad Days then? Salad Days is good, but it's just like...

In comparison to two. I don't know about that. Yeah, okay. kick you in the head until you die I'm a personally a very big fan of Mac DeMarco and yes what's your favorite track um none of them I hate listening to it whenever you put it on I just want to just I never put it on because you complain and you literally shit's blood every time yes it's not my photoful piles he's not frothing out the mouth like a dog of rabies

I don't like your Macon to be okay two is his best album I don't like your divvy voice. So you've changed it then. Life is getting warmer. Sitting up something good. I would make a statement, but I know giraffe fans are going to get angry, so I'm not going to. What is that like jingling? Can you move that, Jim? It's really annoying. Thank you. JAR media roleplay asks, Alex and Jim.

If Jim isn't in Mexico, snorting coke and blowing bros, Try it to do your best ASMR for James to fall asleep to. Oh shit. Try it. Try it. I'm interested in this. I'm interested in this. I'll go first.

Okay. Your eyes are feeling heavy. They're feeling so heavy. And then listen to my voice and feel my voice go into your ears. Okay, no, it's not very good. You're not, if you think it's good, leave in the comments, say it's good. No, your voice isn't soft enough. You're making it too heavy.

You need to be soft and relaxing. Hey, how you doing there, Captain? That would probably be better enough. Jim, go ahead, go, go, go. Um... Ah! Jim wins. Um, uh, if...

Alex would wins that by default, but, you know, you still got a weech one. Wait, no, I'll do it again. Okay. was that one of those things where somebody asked you to do something no I just want to check that the audio was actually recording and this same person suggested a role play no um that we're gonna do Jim and James are Alex's parents Alex is breaking the news that he's an epic YouTuber okay I'm I'm your dad okay so you're my dad and you're my mum

come on parents sit down there's something I need to reveal to you yes son how can I help um so mum and dad yes queen um there's something I need to tell you

yes queen I don't why do you keep doing that my parents they're fucking they're broken Oh my god This is why

This is why Jamie Belman is better than Alex Belmuntman Because he completely mocks my roleplay It doesn't even take it seriously for a fucking minute I'm Shane Dawson And James is Shane Dawson's soon to be husband And you're the son I'm going to adopt

Okay, so Jim is Shane Dawson and I'm the adopted son of Jane, Shane Dawson. Yes. Dad, why the fuck did you steal that joke from me? Why did you never acknowledge the fact that you stole it? That's really pissed me off, Dad, Shane Dawson, Dad. You're an asshole. That's when you know that.

I'm leaving home. Because now I'm an epic YouTuber who's way cooler than you because you're lame and your voice is stupid. Well, you could at least get a popper job. excuse me Shane Dawson's soon-to-be husband who's my dad yes that top 10 list was fucking sweet

them conspiracy theories though I'll give you credit for that one and that video on Jake Paul that was incredible it's a documentary I'm out of here bye

just kidding Shane we all love you here don't we James no Shut the fuck up. Ahs! Bebo Dibi Dibby Diby Dosa, Hello Dio.

Great name, by the way. Says, any funny experiences from smoking weed? Smoking weed? I wish I'd tried weed. Uh, yeah. James is the only one who's experienced in that field. Tell us a story. I actually do have one.

You do, of course you do, because you smoke weed like every other week. Yeah, every other week. the first time I browned out is a pretty good story that is an incredible story so if you if you're kind of new to marijuana and also a massive pussy and a massive pussy

and you don't know your limits and you take too much marijuana it's going to make you brown out where I'm just going to confirm that the true term is greening out yeah but Alex has always called it brown up but Alex calls it browning out because he's

he shit himself the first time he greened out ha ha ha ha what? That's not true okay I could it's hard to know of you guys so what happened was I feel like this story is going to be very different from your perspective than from mine

really? Yes so smash cut to Netflix going through the the queue see a movie Ryan Reynolds

we all love Ryan Reynolds Samuel Jackson we all love Samuel Jackson The hitman's bodyguard we see Hmm That looks like a good movie Crack it on Start watching the movie

Whip out the bong Never used a bong before at that point Only had You know A pipe joints You know stuff like that And the bong is stronger.

The bong is more potent. And what happened was, I christened the bong, right? Then passed it around. But it was a thing where I was passing it to one person, and because I was in the middle, it kept going back to me, and then I'd have another one, and then keep passing it. And because it's more potent, like, we were all sat there watching the hitman's bodyguard, and then I monged out. I suddenly was like, oh shit.

and the way I describe it the way I described it to you guys was it felt like in the movie Get Out the Jordan Peel movie where the main character is like hypnotized and he's like trapped in his own head and he kind of falls into his own brain into this like darkness

and he can see a screen of his own eyes like yeah it was just like that like I couldn't move my body and I was I was staring at the fucking hitman's bodyguard like just frozen and I was like This is it I remember

I kept looking at you And then at Reuben And then at you And then at Reuben And then Reuben noticed That I kept looking at you So then Reuben started looking at you And we were looking at each other

Just like What the fuck is like he doing Because you, at this point You were like I was like My head was going all over the place Yeah Which Reuben there as well

Yeah Ruben got high as well He didn't want any He was just there watching the movie with us what okay I'm disappointed in moving though

the fuck you're okay anyway um when I don't know if you remember this but I finally I caught your attention because of how often I kept looking at you

and you just had this fucking shit eating grin on your face really? Yeah you like you you thought you I think at that time you thought you were fine right

and you were like you I guess you thought I was the one that was fucked up thinking you were fucked up I actually don't remember that it happened and then I was that not after no because I we had a fan because I think it was in summer it was a fan boy and the fan just happened to be aimed at my legs

so I was like frozen in place oh my god if the mic didn't pick up that fucking fart James has been farting so fucking fuck me James's farts you're playing your farts from me that was James though

that really hurt you have to handprint on his fucking that's gonna bruise I've got the fucking like bitchiest skin dog I'm gonna like internal bleeding

James James A pimp slapped you But yeah The fan was pointed at my legs And because I was stuck Um In the

In the realm In the browning out realm With the hitman's bodyguard Audio just going on It was a moment in the movie where Samuel O Jackson is clapping And singing And it felt like it was going on for

like two hours yeah it was horrible but the when I was trapped in my body like I felt like I was a statue or something um of course my brain was I was thinking in my head oh shit my is am I just my life now am I just stuck like this um because you always go to the worst thing and if it was like quite a weird detached experience because I keep mentioning this fan that was blowing on my my leg and arm it felt like my skin was like moving or something it was really strange

but kind of it was so weird because it was like kind of nice but also really scary and horrible at the same time but then it kind of subsided and I was like then I started then I was able to talk again no no no there was something that happened before you could talk right infamous

sign language oh yeah No, because I felt nauseous. Yeah. I thought I was going to be sick. I thought I was going to be sick, but I couldn't talk and I could barely move. So I had to try and communicate to the people around me. I think I might be sick.

I need like a bowl. But you couldn't speak. No, I couldn't speak. But you could move your hands. Yeah, I could just about move my hands. So I managed to get the courage to move one arm. And I think I locked eye contact with, I can't remember who it was. But I locked eye contact with someone.

Mm-hmm. And then I raised my finger to my neck and then just ran my finger along. Up to your chin. Up to my chin. And then like out. And then out. And they had to like. And then.

Then the guessing games began with you guys. You just like kept doing it at that point. Yeah. And it was like a game of charades. We were like, doesn't mean this? And you were like. And then I was like. Oh, okay.

So I went into your kitchen, got a bowl. And then I held it. I, that doesn't, that doesn't sound fun. That does not sound like an experience I ever want. I don't think many people have that experience. No, like I've never, I did like loads of reading about, before I ever took it. Like, I do obsessive reading over stuff like that.

And I never read anything like that. Yeah, just know you're. limits I guess we don't uh condone the use of drugs no it's funny story though I wasn't sick either no I was sick when I ate an edible though well that's your fault that was yeah like the edible thing because they're they're the strongest like they're this the most potent way of getting marijuana into your body and I have this weird oh my god his leg Fucking hell. I've got a slap and a half.

I do. I have this weird reaction though, whenever I... The two times, I would say, have browned out. It's like the most unique experience. It was fucking horrible, and I wouldn't recommend it, but I got this reinvigoration of memories. My brain... Like a madman?

Yeah. No, my brain rewinded back to the earliest memory I have. And then it was like, right, we found the beginning point of your memories. Now let's go through all of them. So it was just boom, boom, boom, boom, memory, memory, memory, memory, memory. It was just going, like, just flashes of imagery. And each, like, screenshot of, like, a memory, then reminded my brain of, oh, yeah, shit, that's something that happened. And it was, like, all the...

Every feeling and emotion and smell and taste of everything that, like, every one of those screenshots reminded my brain of. imagine imagine how intense that is just every fucking memory just coming at you see I wouldn't like that I think I was literally like

again this isn't normal no it's not normal this is just Alex obviously it affects everyone differently that sounds terrible I don't want my memories back but I mean it's like an equivalent

to getting ridiculously drunk and feeling very ill you know I haven't done that either No we actually did the The stupidest thing with the edibles though We're like you're supposed to just have a little bit

See how it affects you Instead I just ate the whole thing And then was like fucked because of it Yeah That's what I'd do because I'd want to eat the food I don't care about the weed I just want to eat the food No

So I eat a whole fucking trity boy Yeah Can't really think of any others Off the top of my head Probably more but let's do a different question I remember the first time I drank alcohol properly Did you get a bit bit tipsy. Yes. And because I drank and I just got, I then spilled the whole can of

Balmers all over my friends like 10 grand sofa. Got really upset over it. It was really moody and then passed out. Ten grand sofa. I didn't know you've ever been that drunk. The first time I was ever... Since because of that. I got really sad because I felt really severe guilt. Like I was going to cry. Like I had to go one away like severe guilt. So I just sat there and cried and fell asleep. Because you spell bombers on his sofa. Yeah. And it was just like... James. So there's a whole bottle?

Yeah, pretty much. And it was like, James, it's worth like 10 grand. I was just like... There's no way of saving 10 gram, first of all. Yeah, he's a... He's a... I remember the first time I was ever drunk. Was it Ruben's 18th birthday party?

Oh, yeah. I remember there as well. Yeah. I didn't go. I was invited. I think you were invited, but you refused stuff like that. It's because I don't like alcohol. Yeah.

I barely drank that night and had a good time We basically stood in one place the whole night And Ruben got fucked Oh man yeah He drank like half a bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee honey Before it had even begun

Wasn't it as well Yeah And he barely ate anything You see my problem that same night Was that I barely ate anything So what did you do? Did you walk home? Did you... Yeah

Well luckily Alex practically carried me home Yeah I've never experienced drunk people either I've experienced one person who's slightly drunk that's it I've never had an experience of someone being wasted never done it never been overwhelmed it I'm just like completely removed on it hmm and the one experience I've had it means I don't want to ever get involved

anyone who does it just seems like so much work when someone stripping naked in the centre of a town kicking signs over and spitting all over windows is a bit like who the fuck did that My friend in Wooten Bassett. Really? Yeah, while sexually harassing loads of girls. Really?

Yeah, he was screaming at them. And saying really disgusting thing. If I was there, I would just leave. Yeah, fuck that, that's ridiculous. I did. I did. It got to point because he wouldn't get on the bus, I was just starting to drive him. And then he fell over a bush on the way to fucking Swindon from Winnett. Fucking... It's fucking ridiculous.

Oh Lord. And I don't want to get... Be near drunk stuff now, though. It just seems like... Drunk stuff. Yeah. people drunk and that type of stuff. Yeah.

Like, there are people that get, like, really agro when they're really drunk. Yeah. Like, there's, there are, these two infamous people in our massive family that, um, normally they're just totally fine. But when they get drunk, those two people in our family specifically always fight. Oh, God. They always, like, go for each other and, like, argue and just get crazy.

Because it just makes you a different person. People are me and James. It's like I've never seen my parents drunk. I've never, I've never experienced that. They've never, they've kept that very, very well away from me. I think the thing, my mom doesn't drink, but I've probably seen my dad drink a couple times. James Hugh Direct Knob says, I've been re-listing to the Poz-Nacked.

That's a new one. And POS-Nacked. Nicknacked. And a couple of years ago, James talked about how he really wanted to try lobster and that he probably would by the end of the year. Has he eaten it yet? And did he like it? Bro, it's only fucking April.

I think this was early, early. It says a couple years ago. Oh, geez. Have you had lobster? I haven't had like a straight-cooked lobster. but I've had lobster on things and had lobster food like I've had more lobster than you then you have the fuck I still like it you had lobster when we went to that um you sure wasn't crab no remember we got that huge dish that had like crab and lobster and no you don't remember that no I remember crab I don't I don't remember we were all we'll because you have those crusher things to crush the shell the crab yeah and there was a lobster there as well what's there James Yeah, was there, James? No.

Okay. You're thinking probably of a big porn or something. The realist Rob says, there has been a solo Venom movie and two solo Joker movies are currently in development. Since Hollywood is making movies about comic book villains, it is a genuine possibility that we could get a Kill Crock movie. If you're given $500 million to direct a Killer Crock movie,

what would you do? Who would star? What would the plot be like, etc? First off, I would make the movie for 50 million, pocket the rest. Don't need to spend that nearly that much. I would cast Willem Defoe as Killer Croc? Yeah. No, I'd cast The Rock as Killer Croc and Kevin Hart as some guy who finds him.

Mate, $50 million is not going to get those two. Yeah. Okay, maybe put it up to $100 million, pay them $30 million each or something. then just shit out the film literally just find some hobo on the street and say look i'll pay you a hundred a hundred dollars to write this movie for me and then use whatever he writes doesn't even fucking matter um no you got to give him at least like a hundred k no no no because i'd be making it on a budget you're a horrible person then i would edit it myself don't have to pay an editor yeah and you've already pocketed a fucking

get $450 million. So I think $100K you can spare to give a... No, I couldn't. I think he's a horrible person. No, because to him, a hundred would be loads. He doesn't know that I have $450 million in my bank. And then just have the Rock and Kevin Hart ad lib a killer crop movie while the Rock is in like stupid

killer crop makeup and then cut a funny trailer and then boom, bada boom, bada boom, bittling, billion dollars. you've got to pay all the people doing that stuff the makeup people and all that no Alex will film it Alex will do the makeup I just film it on my iPhone beat all the extras I make it a fan footage one

yeah good idea that's a good idea that's immediately saves someone then you have been lost in the sewers yeah and finds Dwayne the Rock Johnson killer crock no that's one Kevin Hart could be that Batman character

who gets his the claw hand nice He could be him, and it could be the origin of how he gets his claw hand, which is because of the rock biting his hand off. Yami. Mammy. Okay.

Oh, shit. Okay. We're going back to this old chestnut. The hole in my garden says, Hey, thanks for taking my question seriously, everyone. Now I can finally die knowing what somebody, knowing that somebody gave serious thought to what Maddo. Madagascar characters are the cast of Red Dead Redemption 2.

Oh snap. However, there is something I wanted to clear up in regards to my question. I chose them, imagining that it is just the story of Red Dead Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2, but with certain characters swapped out for Madagascar ones. So they each have the same personality, but do not have the same relationships they had in Madagascar. However, I do agree with a lot of your selections, and I agree Zuba, Alex's dad, is better suited for Arthur. You could probably tell, but I... As I went on, I was just grasping at straws, so thank you for not embarrassing me further.

Also, I chose Motto for Charles, based off that bit in the epilogue where he's wrestling and you see his big and chunky figure. Just thought I would clear that up to protect my name as a non-racist. King Julian is Angelo Bronte, by the way. No, that's spot on there. Remind me of who that character is. Angelo Bronte. Doesn't help. I mean, it's spoilers.

Okay, I don't know. He's Italian. More importantly... Angelo Bronte. You're not going to say anything after saying that. So you're just going to fuck us over yet again? Yeah, you're just going to drop us... Like yesterday where you fucked us over hardcore?

No, I didn't. You bent us over and you fucked us over. over over over what he bent us over and then fucked us over mm-hmm Jim don't make you do it again why are you blaming me make me do it again Jim farted on his dick how could you not how would you not on the dick then you that's it Alex you get you get you get one don't slap me don't slap me right will rape your mouth Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh my. Okay. You fucking host the show then. Good afternoon, morning, evening, all night, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the JAR Media Podcast. Wow, guys, I can't believe some of the things that have been said on this episode. Yeah. Me-Me.

Coming from you, mainly. You're the most controversial member of JAR. It's not true. I'm the most laid back. Never say anything controversial. You don't say anything controversial because you're scared. I just threatened to rape James's mouth. Nah, he likes it really.

James came out as gay yesterday, actually. I didn't. This morning, actually. Sorry, this morning. It was, no, not at all. No, Jim? Yes. Queen!

Alex's point was lost in translation. Let's do one more. a question from Donald Duck fan account asking if any of us have played Sekiro? No. James is going to buy me it very soon. I can't wait now. Yes, queen.

Stop saying. I know it depends if Alex pays me back my £3.50. Right, we're going to go into that can of worms, are we? No, I'm not doing it. Not doing it. I mean the scene what we do I'm the feeling

I'm the feeling rock star I mean I'm not going to do any more questions why I think it's just right okay so what we're going to talk about

is why we've got a few seconds left John why am I the best at slapping people because I really you always shit I don't remember

when James always said that he would always slap his dick for some reason no that was a joke that was me that was a different you did do that

I'd never slap my cock. Do you want to tell you to explain this story? No. Well, that's been that jarcast. I would thank everyone for watching and the patrons and all of that stuff. Do you have to do the slapping technique? Thanks for watching. We'll see you on the next episode.

That's it. That's what you do. But you wish you bitch had legs like mine.