JAR Media Posdact - Young Yeller, John Wayne Rooney & The Put Down Boy - JARCast Episode 305

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

https://www.patreon.com/jarmedia Find us on Spotify and iTunes under: "Jar Media Posdact" Find the original episodes under: "The JARChive" Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/jar-media-store Twitter: https://twitter.com/FourFunnies Timecodes: 00:00 Intro 05:12 Housekeeping 20:21 The Truth About Hamsters 48:51 Mid Break 49:12 Minecraft Steve Race 50:08 Poncho Usage 51:38 Audience Controlling You 55:11 JAR In Fortnite (Ideas) 58:10 English Picnic Foods Ranked 1:02:18 Frikin

Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-tttttth-h-h-tttttt... When Dobby's Jainer's here to stay. And we all say, hey, hey, hey, hey. Dobby's Jain is not far away. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. When it's Christmas, Dobby's Jaina ain't far away. I'm dreaming of Dobby's Jaina. What's that?

Um, no, no, no, Dobby Jaino. That's the best Christmas song. Do you ever give a gina to an Eskimo? Oh no, no. Oh, dear no. Yeah, that's the worst one. I hate that. Merry Christmas.

Oh, ha ha. You. That's what he actually sounds like. Can you imagine how much scarier that would be? He's coming down the chimney. If it has like a nice echo on it. Because he's like... Yeah, yeah.

Projecting through the clouds. Quite cool. Not cool. Quite wicked. Quite Christmassy. Stop it, guys. Come on. Yeah, it's time to be serious.

It's Christmas time. Oh, dear no. Right. Good afternoon, morning, evening or night. Ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to episode 305 of the Christmas. We're in Christmas spirit this year, we're all very well and good and Christmassy. Really, guys? Yeah.

What? Christmas? A bit cliche. Yeah, already been done. By a lot of people as well. No. Well, we're reinventing it. I don't believe in Christmas.

What? What do you mean by you don't believe in it? It doesn't exist. what do you what do you mean what do i mean christmas like doesn't actually exist why if you left earth and went to the moon or mars um would they be celebrating christmas there uh uh-huh no they wouldn't the martians probably would

it might be a different it might fall on a different day imagine christmas it was in june is december 25th the same on mars No. Would they come up with new months? Yes, because it spins different. I can't argue with that. I spend different. And so do the JAR Media Patrions over at Patreon

who make the audio versions of the show possible. Get early videos occasionally, like James' latest. Yep, there's a new video out. Some of my popular ones are some of you's feeds. Yeah, Jarkar tour. The first, the first. There's going to be many. Yeah, we missed our chance to do the Pissor episode, but...

We're encapsulating the journey of El Llewell. El L'Orel? El L'Oll. And as the ball as we are, we have a new car like every other month. Yeah. Pretty much, so we need a way to keep it organized, otherwise. See, we're going to give you some word of advice. The best and most financially viable thing to do of cars is you buy a car.

when the screen wash, one's out, sell it and buy another one. That's the most economical way to do it. Yeah, that's why I clean my car a few weeks, I clean my windscreen. It means I don't have to use my screen wash. So you can keep the car longer? Yeah, exactly, I'm on it.

Comedy. Use a bit of gecko, don't you need to clean it. It cleans itself. Yeah. A pet gecko, cleans your car for you. Yeah. You know how those geckos are like, change color. So you have one of them. That's a chameleon. You know those geckos that

change color. Right. If you put them on you screen, they kind of deflect. They become see through. Yeah. So your screen doesn't get dirty. I'll tell you what doesn't become see through. The dirt in this house that needs to be cleaned. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. So housekeeping segment. We round out certain conversations and feedbacks from the previous episode. Hmm. Hoodie is going to get us going this time. On the off chance, you read this.

I just wanted to say thank you for every Monday, Jarboys. Just experience some really horrible news. And I'm probably at one of my lowest points. And I'm just a little bit of an emotional wreck. But nothing makes me happier than seeing the content you produce every week. And lucky, for me, my Monday always seems to come so fast. Bear, bare friends. I don't think that's a good thing.

Monday's coming fast is bad. Garfield hates Mondays But like I love I love comments like this There's so much love Like Christmas is the time To share love

You know And I'm sharing love With this hoodie person And I'm also wearing hoodie What I was just sort of You know I was grabbing that baton

You were handing me And I said yeah Best of luck Hooded And then tried to give it back But it was more of a Bing Bing Bing Yeah.

But yeah. I think our strongest aspect of us has been consistency. I feel like it's rare to be this, for me at least, to be this consistent. I'm happy it can pay off

for at least one person. Yeah. Yeah, we are very consistent boys. I'm speaking of pay-off, so the fresh prince left a comment which I consider quite an interesting kind of payoff. Hey JAR, given all the Bougar Nick discussion in the past couple weeks, I thought I'd share a personal anecdote I have about him. I actually went to high school with one of Bougar Nick's main cronies, Jaden McNeil.

He was three years above me in my brother's class and was good friends with my brother in middle school before he went off the deep end. During his senior year, he got one of the English teachers fired by posting a picture of an out-of-context fake news, clipping she made to teach people how to spot fake news. Multiple Congress members and other right-wing figureheads tweeted out about my school until the teacher was fired. Later, after Jaden was basically forced out of the university he attended

because of some racist tweets, he started running with Bougar Nick and his gang while live streaming on an alt-right Twitch clone. About six months ago, Jaden was accused of having sex before marriage, which is one of the worst things you can do in Bougar Nick's eyes. His room was searched with a black light to check for semen stains, which led Jaden to cut ties with Nick. Jaden now has no education and no job prospects,

as Googling his name leads to the Southern Poverty Law Center website where they have him on a list titled Hate Watch, and to Kiwi Farms, a forum site focused on harassing lull cows like Chris Jan, where he and his family have been doxed. Sorry for the long comment and... bear bear on well we're good I feel like the the story behind a lot of these characters would be kind of similar to that yeah like just falling into that like situation through like desperation fall in with bugger your life is over yeah

little um slam poetry but I like that um this is what I love about the jar media comment section is that it would just they would just flow throw anything out there like sykin did just wanted to ask the boys what each of their cowboy names would be and their backstories so how they got if they lived in the old west ye and i cannot stress this enough ho mingers or ha i guess yehow

ye ho i think i think ye ho ye old whore um i think um I think me and Jamie would somehow just end up in the same going. Why would we be being a gang? What would your name be? I feel like I'd be young yellow. Young yellow?

Is that because you die young? No, because I'd have my old golden who'd be old yellow. Bro, it's just the Wild West? There'd be no fucking goldens there. They had goldens. They didn't. Can you stop combining your thing? Combining what thing?

You don't have Paisley in the Wild West, okay? No, I would. I'd have a corgi I'd be an outlaw who would go on only killing corgis What's that out What's your cowboy name, though That'd be a cool story Actually, young yeller meets um

Young Yeller gets revenge on I don't know my name Decided a name for me, I'm not good at this You know I'm not The High Moona Hi Moona I'm the Hi Mooner

Oh how no you would Hi Mooney The Wayne Rooney Yeah James would be Wayne Rooney In the world west No come on Of all people please not Wayne Rooney It just suits you

No You have Wayne Rooney vibes You have Wayne Rooney vibes So what So I have the vibes of Saroni commit severe adultery Did you do that Yes

Yes No but it doesn't mean you're like the footballer who came around a hundred years later, this is he came first. Yeah. That is kind of a cowboy name. No, because you're thinking to Wayne, yeah, John Wayne. Yeah, that's why... John Wayne Rooney.

That's your cowboy name. Yeah, John Wayne Rooney. So what's yours then, Jim? Wait, we haven't come up with James' backstory. Yeah, he's a... He's a... He's a... he's a dog a killer. Why, though? Why does he hunt... No, no, I... No, I only kill your corgi. that's why there's like a that's the story

is that I I'm burglaring your place to get some some loop and then argue tries to stop me and it's just revolver bang then I've got to make a I've got to skid out of there on my horse whoop let's go well then oh yellow has to be put down and then the real revenge begins yeah and then Jamie how's where do you add into this story I just buy and sell horses but what people don't know is that the horses I buy I eat

well that's not good business then you've clearly got no horses to sell when would I ever have to buy food no but but horses are more expensive in the wild western food yeah but I'm eating them you're fencing so I don't need to buy food no but you're buying food that's like you're but I'm also selling it no but how would you I can't eat that many horses

okay okay but how do you get down boy how do you get like the put down boy Okay, but how would you meet us to? Meet John Wayne Rooney Alex never had a horse Because his companion was his dog So he is to find someone to To buy a horse off of

But he has no money Because John Rooney Wayne Runey stole the money as well as his horse No he didn't have a horse No but yes because I stole it Well then he gives me Paisley and I eat Paisley Oh shit that's some conflict So then you get your vengeance

And you come back to get your dog And that's like a second win. Yeah, it's like a second vengeance. And it turns out Alex failed killing me. So I come back to save you from him. But because we have really similar voices, you kill the wrong person, you kill me. Yeah.

And then yourself, because you actually loved me. Yeah, I was selling you horses on the side. Yeah. The houses I stole I was selling to you. There you go. Then there's just the last standoff where it's like all three of us. Like that Western. Big Bird

Big Bird Boorlin left a comment saying About the LA Beast Durian fruit clip We showed in the last episode Oh my God Fun fact about the durian fruit LA Beast eats

That I thought you guys would find interesting I grew up in Thailand where durian originates And the smell is so notoriously awful That hotels will have genuine signs with an X through durians to let you know that you can't bring them in because they'll stink up the room. Another big concern is that they smell like gasoline

so it can be hard for hotels to know if there's a gas leak or if it's just some dumb ass who brought a durian into their room. Oh my God. Wait, so, but that would smell really good. Got no gas, not gasoline. What, you don't like the smell of gas?

You never just like, turn the hob on. No, no, because it's like, yeah, this could fucking kill me. I go for hikes by the solar farm. Sometimes you just smell like gas leaks. Yeah, like natural gas, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's natural. It's got like that faint fart smell and it's just... It does have the faint fart smell.

Yeah. You're never laying in bed to a farm, but that smells like a gas leak. Yeah. Kyle Rail says that fake scream thing Alex does is so freaking funny to me every time. Don't, no, don't make him start, please. What does he mean fake scream thing? I assume he means the... Which James Lokes in particular, I heard.

He'd love the Black Ops episode. What? The one that we never uploaded and then did. The Black Ops episode. The Woof episode. Oh, right. That's nearly not. The Shadow Up.

Yeah, the Shadow Up. Yeah, I was just thinking of it as like a Black Op. Yeah. With like the document, but with the Black Ink. Yeah, CIA cancelled Black Op. Literally. I thought you meant the Call of Duty games because you guys all always talk about Black Ops. Broaden your horizons, Alex.

Open your mind. Black Ops is based on real events. Where do you think Black Ops originates from? Yeah. Do you think they made up Black Ops? When are they going to make Call of Duty's Sciop? That is a good idea. That's the call of duty from the beginning.

So it's been a sigh of. Um, my puffin says, thanks for the prune-druse recommendation for my septoplasty. The doctor didn't mention anything about constipation, so I'm glad I asked the real professionals. It worked very well. Like, way the fuck too well, actually. Glad it could be of assistance to you, baby.

If Alex can help with anything, it's poop here. And why would he be the best of that? Because he has diarrhea more than anyone. Hence what? it's not me. Does it count though if it's like self-induced? Yeah if like you're actively choosing to

do it. It's not like man why why am I just diareering right now? It's like I plan this it's not the same. It's like built into the process it's almost part of the reward. Yeah. Well I'm curious what you guys think of this one from

Idle High. This is the penultimate one of housekeeping. Why is no one commenting on the fact that over the last few episodes, Alex changed his accent. Specifically, he now says the word, again, differently. Again instead of the normal again. Is it normal for British people to evolve their accent over time? What do you mean? Again. Again. Again? Again. Again. No, but like... Again. There's the British thing of grass versus grass. Or bath, bath.

I'm getting in the bath. Sometimes you just sort of switch. For like a split second, it's like, I've always said scone. But I was talking about scones one time, and I said scone. Yeah, you just, it's, the English accent doesn't actually exist. It's fluid, it changes. Well, we talked about this, I think, on the cast. Like, British people just choose which British accent to have.

Yeah. It's all scone wrong. Yeah? Wait, that's just like a joke. That's a joke that could like work with a scone related story. But you just said it? Like, Why don't have a scone related story?

I've got a scone related story though and it's all gone wrong. It's all scone wrong. Matt S is going to finish this segment here. I think I drink four to eight liters of milk per week, It's great for a protein slash calorie double whammy. Also, I eat like one kilogram of yogurt per week. A kilogram? No, no, you can get those big cagey parts of yogurt.

This man's generally pulling open this fucking huge part of this fucking... I'm interested. Is this person like built? Yeah, bro. They must be. We need to see. 4 to 8 litres of milk per week. And a kilogram of fucking yogurt.

One of the I've got like a four pinter in my fridge And that's like a big one I don't normally buy those And that's gonna last me like Over a month really Of what? Yogurt

Of milk But it's not gonna last that long Yeah It's fucking milk Yeah Milk last years I get the long lasting milk Oh do you want to hear the grosser shit

Oh no very dice man it's you saying that I'm like concerned What Frozen milk yeah why because it gets an ice cube made out of milk inside it but like it it separates like what the milk is made out of it freezes like at different rates it doesn't it does because milk is a lot of water yes but also like fat and like the protein that's in it and they freeze at different temperatures right so when you're defrosting it you get like a watery milk coming out first and there's like just lard like sitting in it I'm telling you man because that's why you just let it fully defrost

well yeah you don't drink it before it's fully defrosted but you still see it I have not seen it I've seen frozen milk is what I'm saying in the most desperate of times it was the best of times probably be like a great murder weapon you freeze like a one of those

mega pints boom boom smack club and then let it defrost Yeah, you eat a bunch of cornflakes Yeah, have cereal day, Boom Boom Recycle the bottle For someone else to kill

Boom, boom smack Yeah Well guys I've got a topic But it's going to be a disturbing one I know it's Christmas You look like you're on a porn site I know it's Christmas

Oh this is much more exciting Than any stupid idiot pornography Oh oh oh oh Oh James already knows this reveal He learned it this morning Oh, yeah. Oh, no.

I'm going to ruin, potentially ruin an animal for you and the whole world. Well, what do you know already? What animal were you going to do? Prairie dogs. No, not prairie dogs. You said it was prairie? No, I didn't. Guinea pigs, hamsters.

Hamsters. So hamsters kill and eat their children? So basically I found out hamsters, you know, cute little baby hamsters. adorable little mammals, little rodents. Actually, the worst pet slash maybe animals ever. Yeah, I would agree after what I've seen today. Yeah, apparently it's like a normal thing in the rodent world specifically. To be a cannibal?

So hamsters are cannibals, and if they're even slightly frightened, they just eat their young. Their own child. Their own young. Yeah. I didn't believe it at first, but then I whipped out YouTube shorts and found like a short.

I showed it as James and Divine. No, bro, I was in shock. You weren't watching a video of a guinea pig eating its baby, were you? Yes, hamster. Why were you? You're going to have to show him. Do you want to see it?

No. No, no. James do. I don't want to see a hamster eater baby hamster this is shit this shit's unbelievable yeah it's crazy

you have to see it you have to see it it just eats it eats up its own your own I thought I was out they pull me back in so yeah

I just searched baby hamsters I wasn't even looking for that specifically um you'll be in your like watch oh yeah my history or whatever your history

yeah here we go full of hamsters eating baby hamsters yeah here we go So those little pink things are its babies See next to it Watching Scooby-Doo in the background How many are left?

He's on the last one He's finishing him off How fucked up is that? But how does that Is that like a side effect of being domesticated? No, apparently like They're like rabbits do it Prairie dogs do it

I knew I was right in fucking hating rodents It's just the most fucked up creatures How How did Vermintheid happen When they're eating That's what I mean Like

I don't know if rats are Yeah I just searched like cannibalistic animals You got Yeah rabbits Prairie dogs Hedgehogs

Hedgehogs Oh fucking They are Hedgehog hatred has begun hippos apparently no hippos are yeah they're cannibals but there's being a cannibal

and there's eating your own yeah then there's eating your own like genetics that it defeats the whole point yes I imagine imagine scaring pacing she goes eats Augie apparently ducklings do it sometimes

ducklings yeah ducklings eat each other sometimes ducklings engage in cannibalistic behaviour bro we're gonna have to kill all the ducklings yeah even ducks aren't free from this does this suggest though that humans should eat humans

yes soil and green yeah it's the future I mean yeah we talked about a while ago like a fascist space dictatorship yeah yeah um which I didn't know at the time we were pretty much just describing Warhammer 40K

I had no idea So your answer makes way more sense now But should we start Like remove any morals Think logically Should we eat people Think logically I thought you go like crazy if you eat like human brain

Only the brain Only eat the brain No only eat the rest Only the brain makes you crazy It turns you back and to a monkey. Well, I found a quote saying

ducklings are said to exhibit cannibalistic behavior when they are bored or aggravated by overcrowding, a lack of ventilation or poor nutrition. That's kind of fair enough though. By overcrowding, do you mean overcrowded in ducks or humans?

So if we go to call the ducklings, they just get a bit angry and eat each other. So if we put a duckling like on the the Japanese underground they just start eating another duckling yeah so yeah basically everything about hamsters is fucked up like yeah on the the fact that you know you put them in hamster balls right and they just run around just crashing into walls and just have no idea where they're going well it turns out their hamsters are basically blind they barely use their eyes and they base and they

they traverse their environment mostly with their whiskers relying on what their whiskers touch to they're blind yeah or have awful eyesight so when they're in hamster balls they can't they have no idea where they're going or what they're where they are so they're

just like just running around you know what basically where this is leading to is I was once I started finding out these hamster truths I was like Googling about hamsters and I saw the infamous animal rights

activists Peter have a whole article about hamsters which I thought was pretty humorous because I was just like

trying to figure out why anyone would have hamster as a pet after learning all the stuff cannibal stuff aside hamster ball stuff aside the fact they live 18 months

and then die aside the fact they like stink up your whole house aside yeah what are the good aspects of having the house the fact they only get like any energy and like want to interact

like when the sun's going down are they nocturnal I think so yeah and you can't have more than one because they're territorial and they start fighting and then they'll eat their babies And their babies, if they get a bit scared. If that wasn't enough, yeah, I found this Peter article called

What You Need to Know Before Considering a Pet Hamster. Hamsters are often referred to as starter pets, a harmful characterization that implies that they have less worth and fewer needs than other animals and can be used as a learning experience for children grappling with responsibilities for the first time. This mindset is an example of speciesism. The misguided belief that one species is more important than another.

Hamsters are just as worthy of respect as you, a dog, or a tiger, and they have special needs just like the rest of us. There's no such thing as a starter pet. I want to get your thoughts on that concept. Because to me, I actually do value a tiger's life, probably more than a hamster's life. I do as well. yeah is that is that messed up to say i don't yeah like i'm gonna value the life of something that doesn't eat its own babies over a life of an animal that eats its own babies even then it's like hamsters

like a tiger's a rare thing right they have like significantly longer lifespans they're yeah they're more protected hamsters like you can't there are a dime a dozen but also like a rodent no but this is my thing about hamsters though is like think list off different environments okay jungle desert jungle city like yeah city uh arctic wilderness a swamp any any environment put a hamster in it and that thing is fucked

it's gonna die it's gonna be killed it's the bottom of the food chain everything eats them including themselves everything eats them snakes birds Plans. Prairie dogs probably eat them. I respect prairie dogs.

So my perspective is, you know what? Maybe the 18 months they spend alive isn't the cruelest thing if they're in a warm place with like food and companionship with a human guardian. But going back to the respect thing. Should we like respect slugs? I think that is their stance, yes. Yeah. But I disagree. No, I have no beef with slugs.

I let them do their things. No, bro, get into gardening. You all have beef with slugs. Yeah. Alex is right. No, I'm just looking at you. And there's these fucking doggie legs. It's a bit ginery-rearie.

yeah there's more um there's a few points they put like um hamsters need large secure homes hamsters can be viewed by other animals as prey and may be in danger of getting harmed or killed by other companion animals in the home if proper precautions aren't taken to help animal companions from harming one another it's imperative that hamsters have a safe spacious and sturdy enclosure to call home. And then they specifically have this this image of a hamster where they've like specifically framed it to look like it's in a prison cell.

Can I say, looking at that, it looks like Argi. Yeah, Argi's very rodent-like. So should we tell everyone, Argy's officially overweight. Yeah, he is. Two kilograms. He's meant to weigh 16 kilograms and he's 18. Fat fuck.

Little fat boy. Hamsters also have the ability to flatten their bodies and they can fit through very small holes and crevices. They are easily lost and can be difficult to find, often getting injured or killed while on the loose. Number three. If you're an animal that can't navigate, a like carpet

a house with carpet without getting yourself. You like go down the stairs and break your neck and die. It's like they can't actually do anything. They're fucking like I'm sorry but that's a pathetic animal. Three, it can be difficult to find

a veterinarian for your hamster. The hamster is considered an exotic animal and must be seen by a specialised vet. Many people don't know this. But when the hamster becomes ill, they're not able to find an appropriate vet in their area, thereby delaying treatment. When a guardian finally does find a vet who sees exotic animals, it's often very costly,

which may also prevent some people from assuring that their hamsters receive proper care. How much do you think a hamster like costs? A hamster's like 20 pound. Are they that cheap? Hamsters are not expensive, I don't think. There's going to be a small group of like hamster owners who are like mortified by this conversation. No, I'm not going to be mean to a hamster. I will be.

No, I'm not mean to any animal. I do believe the way we view pets is like an item and saying that is as a monetary value and is fucked up. Their argument is basically saying that a polar bear's worth is the same as a tapeworm's worth. No, I completely disagree with that. Why? Because polar bear cool. Tapeworm cool. Yeah, why aren't tapeworms?

You can literally get a dwarf hamster for 15 quid. It's kind of fucked up that you put Moneto value towards animals like that Here's one that's listed for free It's literally listed for zero pounds We see animals as like a thing Like a price Like these two exploitations of animals

And that's not good Like people who'd spend 3,000 pound on a dog Literally can't breathe You know, that's that's fucked up Yeah But There should be a market for it When you want a dog, will you buy it?

I know. I can go to a shelter and get one that deserves a better, a good life. That is not going to cost anything. So you see all these old dogs who just end up dying in care homes because people want to spend two grand on a little puppy and have it and experience all of its life. It's like, fuck you. Get the older dog and give it the best life imaginable.

The thing I was saying about the balls, the hamster balls. Yeah. This is kind of, yeah, where I was getting some of the info. Unlike a hamster wheel which provides a hamster with a safe place to exercise when the correct size is used, a hamster ball is not recommended. Hamsters are easily frightened because they don't have the best eyesight and they use their whiskers to navigate. A hamster separated from sensory information, as in one of these balls, is a disoriented animal. And what is often perceived by humans as enjoyment is more than likely a panic response.

Additionally, hamster's legs can become caught in the ball's air holes leading to broken bones. Instead of a ball, consider a playpen or hamster-proof a room and allow your hamster to exercise it in it under your diligent supervision. Hamster-proof your womb. So you've got to, like, walk your hamster. Diligent supervision. My argument against all this. if you can't leave an animal in a woman without a week offing itself

don't think it's a good animal I'm going to be honest yeah no I would say to everyone don't buy a hamster yeah don't even rescue a hamster from a hamster home but surely these animals have been bred for our enjoyment

so there's a case of just don't adopt them and let them have better lives by us not being involved in their lives they wouldn't have any lives there are certain animals that have sort of like defeated natural selection. Hamsters.

Like hamsters. Let's just be worthless but funny. And then people will buy us and keep our species going. Like chickens, cows and pigs and sheep and that have sacrificed their livelihoods, their comfort and everything just to exist, you know?

They haven't sacrificed anything though. Haven't we just kind of intervened with what was happening? No, no, this is a plot by the animals. Oh, I'm going to start laying eggs every day so these people have something to eat, so they're going to keep me around.

Isn't it the other way around? No, like, cows are like, let's just keep, let's just get milked. We're providing a service to the people. Haven't they evolved to, like, create milk that certain way? Exactly. They, they were like, okay, no, it's time to make more milk.

Yeah, yeah, we're just. So they, like, started giving us more milk, and we're like, okay, we'll keep you around then, but we're gonna, like, slaughter all the men. Well, like, an island that has been completely free of humans, but, like, a chicken type creature has evolved there.

Yeah, because they haven't had to be like, shit, there's this new ape. It's like, imagine if aliens came down, and they were like, we only like people with no eyelashes. Everyone would start pulling their eyelashes out to survive. No, man.

Well, I don't understand whether conversation has gone. Okay, small brand. Yeah, um, I see if there's any other little fun things. I just think hamsters, it's like, is it ethical to continue to breed hamsters when they are as useless as they are? Like, is that an ethical, is that, that's an ethical question why? Is it ethical?

When they're that, like. Yeah, one of the points is hamsters have a sleeping schedule. Hamsters are crepuscular, meaning that they're active at dusk and dawn, spending daylight hours and nighttime in their nest. This can be frustrating for a guardian who wants to play with their companion during daytime hours. Waking a sleeping hamster can be stressful for them, and can prompt them to act nervously or aggressively and eat their own young. Is this on the Peter thing?

No, I added the eat their own young group. Oh, right. No, honestly, if you can't wake up an animal without it having a panic attack and eating its babies It's not a good animal So these animals get stressed And their comfort thing is to eat their children Yes.

Yes I don't like to anthropomorphise animals But just to like apply that to a human it's just like you're sitting with your kid in the car someone gives you roadway and it's instantly like how does that help like in a Darwinian sense like that's what I yeah they might what advantage do they get by doing that maybe maybe their logic is this is fucked up like from their perspective they're locked in

like a giant superior beings house it's like being in a spaceship and it's like I don't want my kids to see this It's really dark. It's fucked up. This is like a more of a Halloween horror kind of. Yeah, this isn't Christmasy at all. But yeah, I'd honestly never really put that much thought into Hamsters. And the second I do, what if it's our influence?

Yeah, no, it is. What if they never ate their own babies until we, like, towered over them? Yeah, yeah. And, like, forced them into little balls and had them fucking roll around. We're torturing them. That's the question, man. That's their point. That's what they're saying in this article. That's what Peter's saying, man.

James joins Peter? I... James puts the P in Peter. I don't think, like, do you not think that we should, like, get rid of hamsters to do them? I think we should eradicate their species. Yeah, do them a favour. Do you think there are any species that are worth, like, actually eradicating? No, but like this is a good moral quandary, though, it's like there's, you know, like a train track, and it's one track that goes into two, and you're standing at the changer.

Yeah. And there's, on the two tracks, one, there's strapped to it, a hamster, and on the other track, strapped to it, a lion. Which would you choose the train to go at which animal? Where is it going by default? That doesn't really matter, doesn't it. It does, it's your choice. That's the whole point of the original question. You divert it.

Okay, it's going towards the lion. See, this is a fucked up question because it's like, I like animals and I don't respect them, any of them less. I just like animals. That's the point. That's what the hypothetical is asking there. But it's like... Would you change the track?

To say, well, yes. To kill the gerbil. In a completely, you know, subjective thing, no, objective, completely objectively, the lion's going to live longer than the hamper. so that the lion has to live because it will live longer. Why kill a lion that's got like 50 years left and you used to save a hamster that's maybe got like four months? So if it was an 80-year-old lady and a two-year-old child? Oh yeah, well yes, basically that question.

Basically, that's what it kind of boils down to. Well, I'd kill the old lady. This is completely objectively. There's no feeling here. feeling here, this is just a case of what can happen afterwards. You're going to save a hamster and it's just going to eat its own babies and die after a few months. Would any of us let it destroy the lion because of the... The Peter article?

Yeah. No. Yeah, they haven't convinced me that much. Yeah. But I do believe we should view animals equally and not see their hierarchy of it, but at the same time. No, I think there's, there's, like, an innate, like, evolutionary thing where we, it's almost like we respect what we fear, you know?

Yeah. And if something is more dangerous to us, we sort of respect it more. Yeah. That's that, like, Paisley is more dangerous to me than Agi. So you respect her more? Yeah. Hmm. Argy's not affected anyone when he's two kilograms over one.

weight. Maybe he's more of a threat. He's got the weight to throw around. No, Max was the scariest because he had fucking weight. Yeah, he had mad respect as well. Yeah. That dog commanded respect. Absolutely.

I think we're going to have upset some people. But the hamster thing. Yeah. We basically have... We don't have to have opinions? Yeah, but we give half hour of throwing shade that hamsters have been fucking little fucks. But who's...

After saying all these points, who's going to... What is someone going to come in and say? Yeah, they can't disagree with us. No, because it's just like... No, the thing here is that in a normal situation when you're acting normally, like, it seems like if you just... Like, Hamster's guests go so scared so easily,

you don't even have to do anything to provoke them. You just accidentally drop a glass on the floor and then they've started to eat them kids. Yeah. Like, that's not like a good trait. I'd agree with you and this is really we shouldn't have them as pets

ban them as pets then it's solved then they're not going to be munted and eat them in kids wipe them out no just just to make them illegal yeah but where would they exist if they weren't just put them on farms

just buy a field and let with hamsters on the farm how they're going to make money from that we're going to have to start eating them then then we're back with the whole pig sheet cow thing we're going to start milking them let them loose and the cats will just deal with it right don't we milk rats

like in The Simpsons. There are more rats than like anything. I've never seen a rat. Really? You've never seen a rat. Yes, you have. We've seen rats at the river. Oh yeah, we have.

They're everywhere, man. They're giant there as well. Same Billy. No, they're like the size of Billy. I've got quite a good, like, hamster anecdote. Okay. That's someone who was... Bro, you're like a racing horse.

Your eyes there, your peripherals are covered? Yeah, you got the blinders on. No, someone when they're in primary school, this is the kind of weird shit they would do in, like, the early 2000s and, like, primary schools and stuff. I don't know if, I don't think they would do this kind of thing now. But in the primary school, this person, it was like a reward if you were good in school,

you got to take the class hamster home for the weekend. What? I remember this? someone um when it was their weekend their turn their reward um hamster got out in their house and got eaten by their cat they had to buy a new hamster for the uh for the school for the school that seems cruel so i just give it to like different yeah that yeah that is cool to put it in a ball

and then roll it around the house yeah yeah because kids are cruel that only thing cruller than hamsters are kids yeah no so anything's due of animals and kids

it's just like not because like empathy isn't like fully developed yeah especially empathy towards little animals

I feel like you'd get a lot of empathy if you watch your hamster eat its own freshly born fucking young yeah that's all I could think about was like all these

because it's such it is like a starter pet type thing because they live for such a tiny amount of time and like little kids like that sort of thing and find them cute. I just just picturing that how many like little kids have watched or seen

like where all the babies are gone? It's just yeah. It's really bad. It's horrible. It must be quite rare that someone who has a pet hamster has a pregnant pet hamster.

I don't like. I don't know. I feel like people probably buy like five at this. If they are like free. If people are just handing them out on the street like a fucking freak

out of coat promotion are people like breeding hamsters like they breed dogs yeah and there's just a batch of them

every so often they get they eaten yeah yes we talked about hamsters way longer than I was expecting

I know why is it the only animal that's gone this far as gorillas how many hamsters does it take it to be one gorilla so infinite

you need genuinely how many do you think if you had millions they would they get in a fight and they see a good and then eat all of their new soldiers no but you're forgetting when there's they're competitive creatures so when there's more than one they want to fight each other

I don't think they're organized enough to take down a gorilla exactly they'd fight each other and eat each other more they'd take the gorilla down they just take the gorilla down through like body mass biomass just crush him I've never had such like

It's such a short amount of time I've never 180ed on an animal as hard as I've 180ed on hamsters Really? Yeah Wait, so you were like really pro hamster Kind of, I thought they were really funny Yeah, no, because there's so many funny videos of them Hamsters have always sucked

It's like guinea pigs, they're the lit ones Yeah, I like guinea pigs, they're cool Yeah And yeah, did you see that picture of the yawning hamster How they look like a cryptid or something Oh my God, they do look horrible It's a cryptid Like alien

You know, like... What alien? Which alien? Alien one. No, that's a xenomorph. Which is a cryptid. A cryptid? Yeah.

No, it's a xenomorph. Alex... What the fuck? Yeah, horrible. What is actually going on there? Does it have like a sideways mouth? Like a sideways mouth in its mouth. What the fuck?

It looks like teeth there and it looks like teeth there. on the side that could like sing what is happening yeah so I hope everyone I hope everyone hates hamsters now like we do he also see after these messages buy bear bear bear buy bear bear I do declare buy bear bear bear bear bear shirts and mug available now check the description below Welcome to the second half of the show where we head over to the jail media subreddit and answer questions from the community, just like hide the children now did. What race is Steve from Minecraft? I always assumed he was a lighter-skinned black person, but one friend swears that he's a tan white person.

Thoughts? I reckon he's Greek. Yeah, I would just remind you guys. show you a little picture of Steve what do you think well it depends how you look at it is that does he have a beard is that a beard is that that's a smile isn't it oh I suppose

it could be a beard it's a goatey it could be dark it makes them look like dark side fill yeah it is dark side Phil dark side Steve really shit I'm not you just ruin Minecraft

Steve for me just wait till Ryan Reynolds plays dark side Phil in the Minecraft Ryan, what are you doing with the camera still on? Pill on face says, how often do you guys still wear the ponchos? Every day. Haven't it in ages? I think there's so many spiders living in it that I'm afraid to touch it.

I actually saw one of those giant spiders crawl into one a few months ago. They're perfect for spiders. No, I genuinely did. No, you didn't. I'm serious, I did. I wouldn't lie about that. Yes, you would. What do you mean?

Yes, I would. I heard. No, I remember because I looked over and I was like No, it was messed up. I had the thought, wouldn't it be messed up if I saw like a huge spider like Just the last For lack of a better were a few frames of a spider

It's the final frame Crawling up the like You know, the material I'm How much do I have to bet? No, there's literally one there. No, it wasn't that one. It was in the other room.

If there's 100% there's some spiders in that one there. But then... I mean, it's possible. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. But then I grabbed the poncho and shook it and it fell down. And then I get it. We know this is bullshit because he hasn't lived in fucking months.

Oh no, it wasn't... It was months ago that I saw this. It was in summer. A spider being alive in summer. Yes. Spiders aren't alive in summer, Alex get wrecked. Kill Bastard Kill says, Hey Dream Lounge, VIPs. I was just thinking back to the beginning of James' beard arc

and how much the audience had an influence on James' decision-making. This got me thinking. These days, it doesn't seem uncommon for audiences to expect to have a say in creator's personal decisions, which frankly is quite an uncomfortable thought. Of course, in this case, the decision doesn't have huge stakes, and I'm certain that James didn't just grow a beard because the YouTube commenters said he'd look like a different and if he did.

I was wondering if you guys have noticed this trend and if it ever crosses your mind when you're making personal decisions. Thank you, Swindon Town supports for the legitness. Stay Shway. KBK. A good example of this is the fact that we put the... what's the hair thing called the hair thing a mullet we gave the mullet um question to the jarlings and the jarlings decided and we didn't do it yeah working on it mm-hmm i think it is a strange

phenomenon they i think it's easy because it it is interesting to um like a viewer retention um when you can make a silly choice about what a YouTuber does is it it's to get money. Yeah, that's why people love it X Factor. Yeah. Yeah, there's the weird parisocial bond that happens. I made that happen. I made that person do this.

But because of, because the fact that exists on YouTube, a bunch of content of people who, in my personal opinion, overshare to the point where there's no mystery to their lives. Someone like a Tricia Paitas

or, um, someone to that degree I always reference what was it GF versus BF or whatever that was you know was yeah like vloggers like where every day they're uploading like a compilation of their life

and then it just like breaks them at a certain point where if it's like a Tricia Pay test like the you know they're not broken by it they are just kind of broken it seems yeah I mean it doesn't seem good but then that bleeds out and people expect other people based on the expectations of these other people that everyone should behave that way and should share this kind of stuff and it's just a weird environment yeah nobody should be real

nobody is real but then there's that thing or it's like if you kind of like the alex jane's thing we're like maybe at one point it wasn't believed and it's like more of a character but if you're just playing if you play the joker for long enough you're just going to become the joker, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, if you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. You live long enough to see yourself become the Joker.

Yeah. Like Jared Letto in the Snyder Cut. Jared Letto is lit in the snidey cut. Best scene. Yeah. Best believe I will fucking kill you.

as I watch Harley Quinn fucking be annihilated and gunge. It was some fucking soon, man. Um, oh, this is an awful one. From Fung Mar. When JAR Media Inc. LLC is finally enveloped by the Fortnite Media Machine,

what your inevitable JAR DLC bundles include? What back blings, pickaxes, loading screens, camos, etc. The loading screen would be the um the goatsie we got on hail every will the jamie james and alex bundles have can't forget emotes will it include

complementary V-bucks what kind of glider would it include and would it be a legendary variant I've been asking this for years and no one's listening to me respond or pay the consequences um what's okay so let's let's let's make this more simple and we make it it it's a bundle

you get with all of us so we only have to pick one thing for each so the loading screen is the goatezy What's the pickax? Um I would say maybe one of these Uh No, the bamboo stick The bamboo stick

Or the axe that James hit the candle with Yeah Okay, so what's the What's the collective emote? That's obvious The jar da Yeah, Alex will display it right now Okay, what camos?

Camos, that's not No, the backpack Okay, what's the back bling? A hamster? No, the leopard with the plant growing out of his head is a backpack. Oh, okay, that's cool. Okay, so what's our glider? That's tough.

No, I know all it is. I know what the glider is. What? Tank Dempsey. Gliding with Tank Dempsey. Yeah, that picture of Tank Dempsey is our glider. Does it come with complimentary V-bucks? No.

Yeah, James is anti-capitalist. It's a 50-pound bundle. I'm not getting any free V-books. What, like, to try and encourage sales, like put one celebrity in it as well. The only way to get that celebrity is to buy the job. Ray William Johnson. No, because so many celebrities have been in it.

Yeah. Yeah, there's none left. Bougar Nick. No, Joe Ogan The podcaster bundle The podcaster bundle I suppose like Mr. Beast is in it now right? Yeah, so Joe Ogan

Yeah, surely like Markiplier, Jackseptychai PewDie Pye Surely they're going to crop up in there Maybe not Pudypire He's a bit controversial I don't know, man. Well, guys,

I got two more here. Okay, shoot, we call it quits. E. L10T says, how would jar rank the English picnic foods, e.g. cocktail sausages, scotch eggs, mini scotch eggs, sausage rolls, specifically shop-bought ones that come in packets,

chicken bites and all their variables and pork pies no your picnic a picnic has those luncheballs in every time luncheables are lit it's lunchebles that's not a picnic food no it is you take fucking lunchebles for your kids yeah they're like the whole lunchable lunchebles are an entire picnic in a little plastic package but lunchebles they're not English other they're an American thing no they're English you sure also baby they're really dunkers and they're dumb baby bells also picnic food.

Hate baby bells. Also, but, um, cheese strung. Yeah, yeah. No, Proseco is also a picnic food. Do you drink? What about the ones that they actually

listed? These are the ones that actually like people would think of. Like Scott, I like Scotch eggs. Yeah, Scotch eggs are high up on the. The thing is, all these foods right now, I'm so stuffed from a KFC.

Yeah, I just want to vomit. It does make me want to be sick a little bit. Or pay, cocktail sausages aren't very good no no they're sort of appealing do you know what makes me like imagine this taste right now

you know you could get the little cocktail sausages with like a ketchup dip yeah and the taste of that ketchup that ketchup is the most rancid and there's always like condensation before you've opened it yeah yeah that no that that that dip is like

fucking unheard of I don't know what they do it's like just 90% vinegar It's hot. It's like spicy. No, it's vinegar with like a tomato puree paste. And they mix it in the vinegar. A tiny little squirt of like tomato juice. Oh, that's horrible. It's grim.

Chicken bites are shit as well. No, chicken tika bites are pretty good. Chicken bites can be good. What about, what about, what about, what about, what about fridge raiders? They kind of rock. They kind of walk. You're all right. And they're picnic food.

I guess. What about sausage rolls? Of course they're good. No, number one. Strawberries. Yeah. No, no, no, but what, like, lugging around fucking fruit in your thing for like, like, two hours in the heat.

You're just bringing, like, an apple or something. Yeah, apples, yeah. Strawberries are going to survive. When you're lugging around it in, like, 35 degree heat. You just put them at the top. I suppose the pun it can protect. Yeah, the pun it protects. No, but then they're not cold.

strawberries cold strawberries like so much better than no that's wrong man you have to take them out half an hour before you eat them no you just go straight in it specifically have less flavor no they're much nicer no the consistency is nicer because they're like more turgid but they don't have no flavor once they're in the fridge no that's not true it literally is true it's 100% true no you're just trying to put your your subjective opinion on saying that is objective no this is going to trigger people more than the hamster conversation.

No, no, I, I've only ever eaten strawberries straight out of the fridge. And that's where you're going wrong. No, it's the only only place in my life where I've gone white. No, man. I'm taking a hard stance against that one. Raspberrys. Raspberrys. Why do we say raspberries?

I say raspberry. Wasbury. But it's a berry, right? Yes. So why do we say breeze? Strawberries? We don't say strawberries. Here we do.

No, we don't. I do. No, you don't. Strawberry. Was berry. See? Dingleberry. Said to me.

Shut the fuck. Right. Yeah, sausage rolls are right. Yep. Oh. Revert to monkeys. Got our final one then. Okay.

The English people say freaking and freaking as opposed to fucking and fucking? This is no, no, just Alex, no, ignore the question. Like, like no freaking way for context, or is this just American? No, no, shut up, shut up. How many times have you tried to argue the fact that Americans don't do that? Me? I'm not American, I don't fucking know what they say. You always put the questions where Americans is like, nobody says freaking James. And now an America's asking of English.

English people say fricking. We'll answer them then. Frick off. No. What the frick? A Sammy's classic, your mom fan. Shut the frig up. Thank you.