Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - A waggle of the hand

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

Rohan's thinking of retiring his mo and Jess' mum has worked out a way to hush her...Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Friends meal has landed at Maccas with one of six characters to collect. Here we go! Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everybody. Thanks listening to the pod. Actually, it must have gone down. We were saying the pod yesterday in the opener, in the little intro, that who's listening to the pod?

People are doing pods. Had a lot of feedback on the pod yesterday. I don't know if it was a coincidence or people we're listening to it. Well, I wonder if us saying we're looking for some feedback, we're looking at looking for a bit of a temperature check on where you are, when you're listening, why didn't listen to the radio show, why you're catching up. So maybe people have then gone, well, they want to know who were some of the people who gave you feedback and was it positive or negative?

A couple of people in the office and then also actually, funny story yesterday, Lucy, my girlfriend, Lucy's sister, sent me a text and said, I just got off the phone with Jay, her husband, and Jay was rushing me off the phone and I was like, what's wrong? What are you doing? He goes, I'll just chat you later. I'm listening to the podcast. And a boy, Jay? Firstly.

You tell her, baby. Firstly. Put us first, bro. Thank you, Jay. But secondly, Rowan, has he phrased it as the podcast like we be the only podcast? Maybe. It might be the only one to listen to. I don't know.

I didn't go that far. You know what I'm saying? Like, just saying I'm watching the TV show. Well, what? But Jay has coded us as the podcast. Yeah, the podcast. Making us the be all endel. And Jay, that has done a lot for myself.

We're out to see them at Urban Sur. and they're obviously mad servers down the coast. And he had his shirt off yesterday. He's so tanned. He rig of a 19-year-old. Really? Why aren't we all surfing? What are we all surfing?

They're going to gym for. Oh, they're there. What the hell are you doing? And the obliques of surfers because they're doing the twists from the torso. Yeah, those mad gutters too, the gutters? What's a gutter? Well, it's a... I learned about the cervical...

No, how to pronounce it? No. Seviacal disc today. So teach me about gutters. Is it also a biological term? Well, no, it's a... It's a gay term. It's a queer term.

They call them, kids, you're listening? Mum, Dad, Turned Down. Content warning? They're called cum gutters. Excuse you. Obviously, that's where the load goes. Sorry, you're... Okay, I did my best, shy guy.

We're on the podcast. There's no rules. Well, there is... And you've stayed seated, but I can see movement with your elbows. What are you just articulating to? The V, you know, so the V... Oh, the V! That's a gutter, because it just kind of...

Oh, I thought the gutters were just the bits between the abs. He's got those too, baby. Sorry for sexualising you, Jay. That would be a trench. Would you say? We trenching. So if you have a six-pack. Yeah, yeah, in the middle.

You talk about the trench? So those sort of outlines, that would be a trench, but the gutter. That's like the moguls. But I still don't understand the gutter. So say you're like hooking up with another man and then there's the gutters and then when you finish. Where does it go? No, should have it? I feel gross.

Is it? It's fine for the podcast. The gutters. All right, I've had enough. Okay. So Jay has your brother-in-law? Yeah, man. Anyway, it looked good, dude.

Tanned, gorgeous, beard, done. Are you just giving him all these compliments because he gave us compliments? I know he listens. Like, my mother also listens. Like, can you just raid it in? Now she knows all about the gutters. Thanks, Liz. Thanks, babe.

She features on the show today. Oh, she does too. You called her condescending. No, I said that the bit that you did was condescending. Nah, she did it. Yeah, but that feels condescending. I've been trying to get that video up for about an hour on the Jess and Rolland to get a poll going. So I will get that up.

My mom gave me a hand waggle. I thought it was great. Rowan said little condescending. And shy guy didn't like it either. I tried put it in practice later. Oh, we've decided also shy guy is speaking like Jess now. Is that cultural appropriation? Yes, yes.

Can I get him cancelled for that? Cancel shy guy. I'll take the day off tomorrow. You're right. No, no. You're exceptional today. No, you're exceptional today. All right, thank you.

Enjoy the podcast. Welcome. We've got for Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know Jess? I'm all about wee-woo methods to help yourself. You'll get to know Rowan. Hot, tawny happy.

Yay! It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be online. Anything could happen. Most of it probably work. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me.

This is Jess and Row. This is going to be good. Oh, welcome to Tuesday. Good morning to you, Jess. Good morning, Ro Ro. How are you today? Oh, couldn't be better. How do you do?

I had a terrible sleeve. Why? What's going on? Heat. Oh, the heat, man. It's ruining me. And we have a house of their air going, oh, first world problems.

Hang on a minute, but you have the Dyson fan. Aren't they silent? Perfect for nighttime cooling. No, it's good for cooling. doesn't get the room cold. And it depends how hot it is. If it's hot, what's it supposed to do? That was like this morning, got my pump on at the gym,

relatively mild in there. No worries, I don't work hard enough to actually raise my body temperature. We need to work on that. I do. But I went to shower in the small onsuit area. Oh my God. Hot box. Yeah, yuck.

And I am not a fan of a steam room or a sauna. I went, no, no, I haven't chosen to have a sauna. It's had my first cold shower this morning. You don't like a sauna. No, I can't breathe in there. Where's the oxygen? How are people doing it? Steam.

So there's a sauna and there's a steam room. And what's the difference? They're both very warm. One's really hot. One's just full steam. Still hot, though. Isn't steam a torture? Steam's good for you, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, see, I'll do a steamer isolated over the nose and throat. Some steam rooms. I don't all my whole body steaming. Some steam rooms have the eucalyptus in it as well. So as you're in there, you're breathing in. and you're just like getting... I see, I don't hate the sound of that, but just sitting there.

It's a very... It's a pot. Like, if you go to a steam room, they're a bit more posh than a sauna. Are they the ones with all the naked men? And they pour the water over the cold? That's a sauna. Oh, that's a sauna. Ah, it's a bit steam room.

It depends where you go. The steam rooms are more posh. I still don't really understand the difference between a sauna and a steam room. So a steam room is about 45 degrees. And a sauna is 70 and 90 degrees. That's cooking us alive. That's not right. Yeah.

So you go on the steam room and you go in the steam room and you get all the steam, it just come through. Good for your paws, maybe. Totally, all of that. Sona is psychotic, and I also, have you ever watched the Nude Men too? You've got to. That's a classic.

I watch those in my formative years, and I'm pretty sure there's one where he can't get out of the sauna. It cooked. Cooked a lot. Yeah, yeah. I reckon that's my trauma. Maybe. It's the same as the Salarium bed.

I know they're banned now, but the two chicks can't get out of those. Cooked alive. I don't mind. I don't mind. I don't mind. issue with being cooked alive. I don't mind a sauna. I'm not doing sauna at the moment because of my skin.

Oh, that would be very aggravating. But I don't mind. I'm sitting in a sauna and you get... You don't like ice bars either? But you're a cold frog. Don't you like to be cold? Love... Yeah, but the sauna's good for you.

Like, it's good. And you know it's a limited time. Yeah, it's not forever. And you go in there knowing it's hot for a reason. No, see, I've got... I much prefer to be cold than hot. What about cold? Like a cold...

I want to say cold brew. What about a cold one? A love a cold brew. Nah, see, cold blanche. Too cold. And I listened to one podcast from a female exercise physiologist that said women shouldn't be cold plunging. Sorry. We don't need to be doing it.

Sorry, Jess and I have been over this. Sorry. We've been over this. I've started her off again. She's like, we don't need to be doing it. That is, that is dude. What did she call it? Bro psychology.

Bro science. Bro science. She goes, no, no. Women don't need to be getting that cold. And I went, yes, Stacey. Don't need to, but might be nice. No, she's like, we could do 14 degrees. will get the same physiological benefits.

14 degrees isn't so high. I've made up 14, but something like dudes can get benefits of two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladies, we're all right. Look it up, Stacey Sims, she's amazing. This has become a fitness podcast. That's not what we're about. Yeah, absolutely not.

Shy guy, how you doing? You're good. I'm good. Yeah, you're right. You doing cold plungers or saunas? No, but I'd like to. I just don't know where to go or have the time or money. You get the water much, though?

Like in the beach much? Not recently because I got really sunburned a few weeks ago. Oh, no. My back is like peeling. Oh. Do you need someone to aloe you? No, I've got it. Jess loves it.

You do have long. I'm okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I've been asking to aloe his back for years, Rowan. It's never going to happen. Never found an excuse. I think I passed aloeia's day. It's mostly recovered.

Okay, what about a vitamin E? Ooh, sorboline. Very hydrating. It's a very thick moist. We can put some yours only on your back. It's some nice stuff. They started following us, Rowan. Did you see?

Yeah, I did see. So yours only was the brand you misnamed, called it Your Coat. We had a lot of fun with that. They started following us. What does that mean? Are they sending us lotion? It means that. We're in for the Cooker of the Week prize before.

Oh. Oh, I want the Cookers to obviously receive some York coat, but Jay Farch would like some Your Coat. Rowan needs to replenish. I definitely need some more yours-only coat. Calling it your coat is now funnier. I agree, and I've latched onto that branding. I actually spoke to the founder, the owner, Ash, on email.

Hello, Mrs Coat. Mrs Coat. And what did she have to say? She said really nice. She loves us talking about it. Really? I bet you do that. Where are they based?

I think Richmond in Melbourne. Oh, there you go. I used to work. We used to work. We used to work in Melbourne. That's where we met. All comes together. Oh my gosh.

Okay. Keep me updated on the York coat. Yeah, we will. If they send a big box of your coat. Yeah. One for me. And we'll just, and we'll lather on shy guy's face like his simba. Can we finally do the massage train?

Maybe we have to. The four of us in a massage train? You're coating each other. Oh, just your... And then we'll braid each other's hair. Yeah, and then kiss. What are we got on the show today? Day, mate.

So many fun things on the show today. By the way, Badd isn't here, guys, so shy guy. Yeah, we haven't just not asked how she is this morning. We would like to do. But that's right. Shy guy has had to take the whiteboard marker. Can you decipher his illegible handwriting? There's stuff about bunnings.

Oh, little journaling chat we're going to do after 7 o'clock. Rowan and I are bonding and we don't even. Realise it. Yeah. Speaking of not realising it, you might be wiping wrong. Yeah, you actually might be wiping. What have I said? We're not just entertainment.

We are education. Oh, I've got a fun story from when I was at the bars the day with old men. That's a weird one. Old men again. Do that after wiping. This is Jess and Rowan. There is an anal surgeon going viral for some wild comments about how we're all wiping wrong. Rowan, I always say this about running.

You know how we have swimming lessons as a kid? Yeah. To learn technique. Yeah. Survival mainly. But we don't have running lessons. Like you just sort of from toddlerhood kind of work out, I can move my legs faster and I run. We don't actually get taught technique in that regard.

You go from A to B, but see if you can go a bit faster. Yes. But some things we have tutorials on and others, no instruction. Figure it out. I would argue wiping after you go to the bathroom is kind of in that realm. Yeah, your parents might start you off. Yeah, you learn from mimicking or that sort of instruction. but it's not really a conversation we're having about technique.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I completely agree with you. This anal surgeon nationally renowned. Ass man. Hell yeah. He is basically saying, we are all doing it all wrong. We haven't had proper instruction. All of us.

Wiping is even the wrong terminology. We should be... Poking? Blotting. Blotting? He wants a blot? He wants a blot. Further to the blot, he is saying we should be washing more than anything.

Oh, bidet. He goes, I'm a big fan of the bidet. Shag I was too lazy to get me the audio of him from the podcast, so I'm going to have to read it verbatim. Please do. I'm a huge bidet fan because it can thoroughly wash the anus without harming it. We are all getting in there with our very rough one ply, stretching what is very delicate and sensitive skin.

Yeah. And causing a lot of issues. He goes, I see up to 90 people a week. What? In my surgical office, one third of all the people coming through are coming in with issues either wiping too rough. Or they're using like a wet wipe thinking they're doing the right thing and it's smoother, it's slicker, it's more gentle. But you don't want moisture down there. You've got to be drying after your wet wipe.

He goes, no one knows what they're doing correctly. We need to be blotting in a standing squatting. in a standing squat position because staying seated is putting too much pressure on again the Annoisse. So the Chinese have a right. Every time you go in those bathrooms

like don't stand on the... Yes. So they're right. Indian culture as well. When I spent... How long was I there? Ten days at the Buddhist meditation retreat holes in the floor with a tap and a jug.

What is this? Where's the paper? They're like, that's disgusting. If you got a schmutz of something on your elbow, would you use a paper towel or would you wash it off? You're so right, I'd wash it off. You'd wash it off. So why isn't?

So why aren't we doing that downstairs? Sometimes there's blood. Sometimes. Shouldn't be? Just you really have to have a go at it sometimes. Sometimes it's a big night. You're doing it a few times. You're AGB, you got blood?

Not all the time. I think you need to go see nationally renowned anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein. No, no, not in it. Just like after you really wipe it. Have you torn the accordion? I guess you have. Shy guy. Don't drag me into you.

So take that on board. Ford, for your Tuesday team, blot, not wipe, gentle around the accordion. Okay, yeah. And if you can, in a standing squat position. Did you know I didn't even know people white from the back? Like, until like a year ago. I had no idea. I mean, I don't have like lady parts.

I can just go right up that. No, but still, you don't want to have. Yoink. Have you ever done that in front of a partner or something? No, I know that's your thing. How did you catch that it was wrong then? Someone just said that. Oh, they're like, I can't believe people do it the front way.

It's going to go behind. And I was like, you know, a lot of my male friends. Yeah, what would you? Idiot? Losing it. Only learn that when they have children and they have baby girls. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's one of the things they teach you at the hospital.

Now, make sure when we're cleaning up the baby, front to back. I go, what? That's how I might have heard it. From a dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, ladies, we know. Yeah. If you're a lady out there, then you didn't know.

That's okay. We move forward. Just other way now. Other way now. This is Jess and Rowan. If you have a wedding coming up and you are planning it using AI tools such as chat chfety, maybe you're using Claude. Ever heard of Claude, Jess?

Claude's a big one now. Who's Claude? Claude's possibly the big one now. Is Claude Gemini's boyfriend? Claude is the big dot. People are buying computers, especially to make, like, AI agents from Claude. And people are making millions. I still don't understand what Claude is.

Claude is like chat GPT. Oh, okay. But Claude is a different version. How many meetings do you reckon they had to land on the name Claude? Haves. Claude was one of the first. How come I've never heard of Claude? I've heard of chat GPT, Gemini.

Yep, that's Google. Is Alexa and Siri in the same conversation? Not really. Okay. Well, if you're planning a wedding, we're talking about why you shouldn't be using AI. All right. Well, maybe you play the role of Claude. Oh, yes.

Claude should have a lot of success. So yesterday I was down at the water. And they have these awesome, you know, the baths. So obviously it's a lot of course. It's a classic kind of water situation where there's a change room. It's beautiful. And there's, you know, there's no roof on it. It's open air, baby.

It's an open air change room. Mm-hmm. And I feel like the only time I'm ever in there. The birds can purve on you. Totally. Well, not just the birds, so it seems. So there's, whenever I'm in there, it's always old bloke's getting changed. Of course.

And it's fine. At what age? I always feel 30 years younger than them. Amen. At what age does it all go out the window where you go, I've paid my dues. I've lived my life. I do not care about nudity anymore.

This is what these guys are doing. Yep. So I'm getting changed. And what's your technique? Are you towel over hunched? There's this old bloke. And he's coming over stark naked. Just strutton.

Just strutton. But because he's older, he's like not moving. Great. And he goes, how's everyone gone? Oh, no. Oh, he's a chatter. He's a chatter.

And I'm standing next to this bloke. This bloke would be maybe the other bloke. Maybe mid-40s, but well put together. Like, good, like, very fit-looking. Who's the perfy one in this scenario again? Stand-by. So then I go, good mate, and I'm getting changed, and I'm kind of just drying my, like, around my balls, whatever, bits.

And then all of us. So you're also nude? Yes. Or are you doing the dry under your board? Get in change. Get changed. And then so I, I'm getting changed. I want a visual.

This old guy. Just picture it. This old guy goes, Jesus Christ! And I stop, and this other guy, and this guy laughs. And the guy next to me,

the fit one. I look down, has this hammer on him. And I go, what? Didn't mean to look. I was about, like,

what's the other guy? You can't be looking around? And this, but this old guy starts to just keep asking. He goes, how long have you had that? No, he does not.

He did not say. No, but he's saying it and laughing. But this other guy's like, just stand. and there, no towel, you know, classic over the shoulder. And this thing's just like hitting him between the legs. He goes, oh, come, mate, it's just a bit of, he goes, does it hurt to walk? And he keeps asking all these questions because he's so old.

He has no, like, doesn't care. And he's standing nude, dripping, hair's long, goes from basically his hip all the way down to below his knee. And he's just staring at it. And because he's staring, I kind of want to have a bit of a look, too. Well, you're in the conversation. I'm like, wow. And then I start laughing.

And then I realized I'm standing there for like a good 15, 20 seconds of nude. Just like laughing like this. And someone else being nude. Oh, and he goes, if only we all had that. And I went, wait, hey, speak for yourself. And he goes, and he goes, and the guy goes, Ah, wait a half, come on, mate. This is Jess and Rowan.

Doing Alpha Bucks at 7, 8 o'clock again, like every day. If you get nine, we'll give me another chance to get 10. We call it redemption round. Redemption round straight away. New sheet. We launched it yesterday and we got a two and a four. So even with the safety net, people kind of weren't able to execute, but that's okay. It was only day one.

It's fine. Right now, Rowan, as you educated me just moments ago, Claude? Are you clawed? Gemini. Nano banana pro. Do you know that one? Excuse me. It's another AI that everyone's using.

AI. Well, okay. Seed dance too, using seed dance. Is there any difference between? them all. Is it like? Oh, yeah, man. Oh, really? Well, right. Nanobanano is like for video. Sorry, for anyone who hasn't quite caught, it's the AI tool. Like chat GPT. Was chat GPT the first? Is that why that's the biggie? Don't worry about that right now.

Stay with me. Chat GPT, the biggie. Yeah, I think so. Well, yeah. And now all these offshoots are just new tech. Yeah. Okay. People are using these AI bots to plan weddings these days, Rowland. We've heard about the kids using them for homework. We've heard about people using them for resume writing. And now we're using them to plan the biggest and ostensibly most expensive day of our lives. But experts in the field are warning.

Doesn't quite know what's up. Yeah. It's giving people unrealistic expectations. It's not giving them full pictures. And the experts in this case are wedding planners who are now obviously out of the job. Oh, they're furious. Because people are using these free platforms. So they're saying, just be careful.

Just be careful. You know, I'm a civil marriage celebrant on the side. And I know this has been a big problem with some of my friends in the space who go, I can pick a chat GPT vow from a mile away. Yes. So what I thought we could do, Rowan, is chat GPT some vows to one another. Oh, that's what this shit is. And just say, yeah, I asked Shigar to prep that for you.

you went and went wee during Bruno Mars there. So I said, Shagar, I quickly write Rowan some vows. I've written you, well, do you want to start?

ChatGVT's written me some vows for you. Do you want to go first? I can go first. Yeah, you go first. Because I want to see without using your own brain or an expert that's a human,

maybe we start getting a little bit too similar. Are we about to read the same thing to one another? All right. Rowan. Yeah. Standing here with you today. feels both surreal and completely right. From the very beginning, there has been something about you,

your warmth, your strength, your quiet confidence that made me feel safe and certain. Quiet. Today I promise you this. I promise to choose you every day and every season. I promise to support your dreams and stand beside you as your equal and your teammate. I promise to laugh with you often and remind you to not take life too seriously. Yeah. There's a bride out there who just got married being like, holy shit, that's what...

That's what John said. That's what John said to me on the weekend, just gone. Rowan, you're my best friend, my safe place, and my forever. I'm so proud to marry you. I choose you today and always. Wow. I'm still just as flaccid. Like, that did nothing for me.

Very impersonal. Okay, mine. But you, chat GPT. Yep. Jess. From the first time we went on air together, I knew two things. You were ridiculously talented. And you were going to challenge me in all the best.

best ways. We started as co-hosts. Hang on. Oh, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Two microphones, one desk, figuring it out in real time. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. What did you? Stop. Stop now. My chativity is contextually aware of my job and what I do. So it has already pre-filled out who you are and who you are. Rowan. The red on air light and the moments no one else heard. You've written, this is erotic. This is erotic. What do you mean? It's not erotic. So, Rowan, I, Shai, I looked over and he goes, you didn't log in. I went, yeah, because I don't use this stuff, and I don't want no history of it.

He's got all my... He uses this thing every day, so it's pre-filled information. It might give me some Moster 3. Some questions in later on into the thing. This is Jess and Rowan. New for breakfast. On Hitt in 2026, this is Jess and Rowan. Good morning. That is pink.

Sending well wishes, she is just recovering from surgery for cervical disc. I am worried about you saying it, Rowan. I think I'm wrong. Because shy guy fed you that information, and I'm not sure. This is a trust I have. Famously not one of the great readers. The cervical disc is actually in the spine. Servicle?

I don't. Yeah. Can you just, can you fact check that for me real quick, Jess? Because. He's doing the AI overview role. You know how I feel about that. Overview? I'm going to need like a New York Post or a Cleveland Clinic.

No, Overview. Cleveland Clinic. Overview's okay. Because that's Google. Because has it pulled it from. His own sources. That's right. From its, not just making it up.

Cervical. The reason Pink's getting the surgery is she got about a month ago is because of the tour, her last tour. The acrobatics. Get down. Maybe it's time to stop. No, my mom saw that. They only got Mosh Pit standing. She wasn't thrilled about standing the whole time, but she goes that was exceptional.

She's so talented flying around. Mosh into Pink. But I have seen all the videos of like, Pink, get down. So sorry, did she do something to her spine? Well, just from the tour, she's just recovering. So the replacement is just because of the rigorous touring that she's been doing for the last two or three years. So you can replace the disc. You can replace the cervical disc.

Apparently. Geez, her and my husband, a lot in common. Yeah. Back surgeries. I was going to say Angus has a cervical disc. It's right between C5 and C6, if you know what that means. Oh, he was L1 and C4. L5C1.

L5C1. Lower in the spine is the L. Ah, so she's higher. It's like there. Neck vibes. sort of thing. Well, so it's not even near down there? No, it's called cervical disc, but no, it's not anywhere near there.

Could we not come up with another word? Why did it have to be cervical? And it's up to high. Up high. No wonder we got confused. I was getting very angry at the education system for not educating me about my own body. Without attention, shoulder pain, neck pain and weakness in the arms and hands is a symptom. Oh my God.

Wow. Maybe that's the end of her acrobatic. It's time to retire. It's time to retire. It's definitely time to get two feet on the ground for your next show, Pink. I always wonder about that kind of stuff. Like, she can sing. So what's she doing, flying around in the sky?

But she can also fly. So wouldn't you do both? Well, you could. Like Alphabet. It's just a chord. It's just a core. It's just a core. I don't think anyone could do it.

But she doesn't fly around. You can, you reckon Michael Boublei could sing and fly? No way. That's pink only. Beyonce, maybe. Gaga, definitely. Definitely could do that. Boubley, no.

Bubele could be singing and sing. Bruno, maybe. Oh, Bruno. I can see Bruno. Bad Bunny, definitely. Bruno go all the way up in the sky and he'd still be shorter than you. Peter, Jean Hernandez. Do you know one time?

There was one of my mates went to meet and greet with him at this place in Sydney. With Peter Jean Hernandez? No, with, is that Bruno, Mark? A.k.a. Bruno Mars. And you weren't allowed to be standing up too close to him because he was so short. How short are we talking? Is he like a... He's like a 5-3. That's not that bad.

No, no, but he was self-conscious. He had a real problem. So if you got... Was he on a step stool? No, no, no, he's just on the ground. He kept the distance. With his feet. But if you were too close to, we had to sit down.

Hang on. You looked over there. You looked over where he was and you, like, kind of in like a VIP kind of area. And everyone was sitting down. And then you notice people coming over. Yeah, he's the only understanding. He's in the middle. He's in the middle.

Well, that's hardly a meat and greed. If I can't actually shake your hand because you're two feet away and stand in and I'm sitting. Well, you had to go say hi, but if you were staying over there, you couldn't continue to stand. Bruno's 5'4, 160 centimetres. 5.4. He could have, he needs an acrobat. Well, just a bit higher. Well, if he's self-conscious and making people sit around him, get him up on the high wire.

Like a Jesus complex. Maybe he could do a lesson with pink. Yeah, maybe he could. She starts teaching the young ones. The young, I think they're probably. I e. Bruno. How old's he? Pink could be older.

Would she? By a little bit. She'd be in her 40s. Bruno's 40 pink is... She'd be 46. She's 46. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit.

Playing at 7 o'clock and at 8 o'clock for $10,000, 30 seconds. 10 questions, one letter. All answers must start with the same letter. That is how you win the $10,000. Hello to you, Josh. Hey, how you going? Josh, couldn't be better, Dale. What brings you to the Jess and Rowan program?

What's motivating you to want to get our 10 grand? Oh, my wife wanted me to play, so I'm going to give it a go. Okay, so she believes in your ability, Josh. Is she picking up that Josh could bring this home? Well, we'll see. Okay. He's a matter of mystery, Josh. What do you want to spend?

Oh, well, the better question is, what does she? want to spend the money on once you win. Probably some house renaos, I reckon. Okay. Oh, I'll talk just about that. Renos are 10 grand. We'll get you nothing. But it's a good starting point.

That's right. Keep me busy anyway. I want to tell you tomorrow about the toilet roll holder I bought. Oh my God. You need the 10 grand. Write that down, bro. Josh, the letter. I've already called you a man of mystery already.

Your letters, M. M for Mysterious. All righty, you ready? Yeah. All right, your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter M, we need you to name. A board game. Monopoly.

Something in the bathroom. Mirror. An astrology term. A microscope. A noun. A mountain. A male actor. Matthew McConaughey.

An Australian city. Melbourne. A film. Series. Pass. A flower. Magnolia. A sport?

Pass. A food brand. Damn, some good answers in there, Josh. Josh, well done. Yeah, got me at the end. Yeah, film series. Can't give you a microscope for astrology turn. You were thinking a telescope.

No. Yeah, yeah. You heard it. Film series, Mad Max, Madagascar, maybe men in black, favourite of mine. You love a bit of Tommy Lee Jones. Sport, okay, that, boot tie, maybe motocross. Oh, yeah. And Madge McCain, Mentos for food brand.

Nothing to sneeze out, Josh. Well done. No, six is good. Six is good, man. No, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Has your partner ever played herself, Josh?

I think she's given her a go. I think I did better than her, though. Oh, okay. Well, walk on, rub that in her face. Rock on. Rock on with the bragging ride. Back again at 8 o'clock. By the way, if you get 9, we will give you another chance.

We're going a redemption round. It's a new thing we're doing. How do we switch up Alphabucks? I love it. You get 9. We will straight away whip out a new sheet so you can go again. Next, something brand new on Uber Eats. Not what you're thinking.

We'll get you across it. Next, after Taylor Swift, Jess and Rowan. Morning. This is Jess and Rowan. Hey, just quickly, I want to just take a moment. What was that noise? I thought it was... That was me.

Oh, sorry. Well, take a moment. I'm going to do a lot of gender stereotyping here, Rowan. Oh, how dare you? No, come with me on the journey. Because I think there'll be a lot of dudes, in particular, a lot of dads, either. No, I don't reckon anyone's super excited about this if you're a dude or a dad. Bunnings have just announced.

Some of their products will soon be available for delivery via Uber Eats. Some. So you kind of get a mower or something off Uber Eats. Some. I don't have the specifics. They rolled this trial out in a couple of Melbourne stores in Chan. 15 locations are going to now be added to the app. And then they're going to roll out particularly regionally.

Things like tools. I'm always a tool, isn't it? A tool? A tool? Yeah. So tools, garden and household items will be on the Uber. It's up 30,000 items, but we know Bunnings sells like millions of products. Yeah, right.

But the reason I say I don't think many dudes or dads in particular will be thrilled with this news. Yeah, it's more convenient. But if you're like my husband, Bunnings is a refuge. I like just going for a look. Bunnings is an escape. Yeah, it is. So if now it's convenient, just at the tip of your phone, you don't have to get off the couch or leave your family and responsibilities.

Is this a good thing? Now, my husband loves Bunnings. Every birthday or Christmas when my mum calls me and says, what should I get Gussie? Bannos. Every time, ma, just get him a Bunnings voucher. And you know what she does? Get him a bunnings voucher.

So I sidled up to him last night when I saw this story come through. Shai guy put it in our group chat. And I just wanted to get a temperature check from a dude who is a dad, how he feels about now. this level of convenience. So you know how you like to go to Bunnings to escape your chaotic family life? I mean, no. Did you see how they're on Who Breeds now so you never have the excuse to just pop off to Bunnings?

It's not expensive. Yeah, he can't. Still have to go. He still has to go. He still has to go. There'll be the surcharge on who breeds. He'll still have to go. Pardon me, I should have flagged.

He was making mashed potato at the time. That's what that banging was. You can get some good stuff for Bunnings and you can get good bulk stuff. And it's really worth being in there. It's good because also someone from Bunnings has said, we understand customers like to chat and talk. I mean, we are the DIY experts. You won't have that level of customer service via Uber Eats.

But also, if speed is the priority, then yes, we're on Uber Eats for you. They're saying delivery within 60 minutes. So it's not the same as a hot chook. If my hot chook took 60 minutes, I'd be up in arms. But Bunnings, you can give them an hour. I would say dads will actually delete Uber Eats off. the phones and not have the account and not get pizza and not get cabbs and stuff, sent just so they don't have to go.

I've got that option. I'm going to pop off. The one thing we haven't got confirmation of, can you get the Bunnings sausage sizzle, the snag on a Saturday morning? Not sure if that will be on Uber Reeds. Not sure that's travelling very well, so probably should stay off the app. One of the great things of Bunnings, unfortunately, is what's outside the shop. But did you see that story going around again?

Ben Bunnings in the news in two regards, those blocs that rocked up and ordered a hundred in their custom bread? It's just posturing. I think they're, like, insecure about something. This is Jess and Rowan. Before the show, Rowan and I accidentally revealed to one another something. And I, I'll be honest with you, have never felt closer to you. Interesting. Fair.

I feel like we're bonding. We've synced up. I've been syncing up with Babs for two years. But now, Shiger and I, we're still hitting miss. but you and I, last night inadvertently, in the privacy of our own homes, we're doing the same thing. Your word is a little bit better. How would you phrase it?

Acting as if we're sitting at home thinking about each other. Can you? I heard your vows earlier, Jess and Rowan on Instagram if you'd like to hear Rowan's vows to me. Yes, that's a guy wrote for him. But no, I don't even remember how it came up, but I said something about when I was journaling last night. You said you were journaling for the first time. And you said, shut your dirty mouth. Yeah.

You two picked up a journal. So I went, bought one from Office Works and I was like, I'm going to give this a go. When? When did you buy? I bought it like a couple of weeks ago. So it's been sitting on your bedside table? No, it's been sitting on the table. Like, oh, I actually have been meaning to do that. Okay.

I like that you put it somewhere. You're seeing it every day. Every day I'm seeing. But you haven't picked it up until last night. You must have felt my juju. Yeah, I was feeling something. And I just was like, I don't even know how to do this. That's my thing with journaling.

What are you supposed to write? What inspired you originally to pick it up? Because that's where I get my motivation. Mindfulness. Yes. It's switching off kind of stuff. Trauma dumping onto the page. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All the successful people I listen to you, listen to via podcast, Rowan, they all have one thing in common. Journaling. So I've been dipping in and out of journal culture for a couple of years. I was on a hell of a streak. Just writing either a paragraph, sometimes pages. So you have been journaling before.

I've been journaling before. I was on a really good streak until one of my girlfriends was like, you don't need to do it every day. Just do it when you're compelled. And because she said that, I stopped doing it completely. I was on a good role, Anna. Interesting. But the Winter Games, there is an athlete called Eileen Goo.

Familiar with goo. Some goo. She's Chinese American woman. She's the most decorated Olympian in Winter Olympics history. She's the Phelps of the... Bro, she's 22. And in all her post-jump matches, she's talking about what she does to breed success.

Really? And journaling was one of them. And I saw that clip yesterday after she just won gold in the big jump. And I went, if Eileen Goo at 22 is this good, and she's crediting some journaling. Maybe I'll write some stuff down. I'm going to pick my journal back up. So that's what brought me back to it last night.

Do you just have like a note pad? No, I have a diary. Yes. A journal or a diary? I got like a journaling diary. I'd call it a notebook, if anything. And it says, Pastor Lovers Unite. Oh, interesting, yes.

And it came with a pen in the shape of a fork. I use that. Oh, my God, I'd write the same word three times. Danger. What am I doing? But twofold, because I also learned recently that handwriting is a good way to stave off dementia. Interesting. So it's twofold for me.

What did you put in your journal last night? If you don't mind sharing. Mine was. Mine was stuff that I'm like, I really want to buy myself. And it was very much like... You're journaling wrong. There's no rules, but you're doing it wrong. No, no, it says like, it had like stuff in it.

Like, what are you, like, what's your wish list? Oh, hang on. There's all these prompts. There's lots of prompts. Like, it's like, what is on your mind? This, this, this, this, this, this. Oh, that's helpful. I just come from a big shopping center and not bought anything because I looked at my budget and

went, oh, actually. You blew your budget on the journal. Well, I got it ages ago. And I said, what are you grateful for? What are you grateful for? That's nice. That's nice. Because they're easy.

You could just do three very simple things, but at least it gets your mind to start looking to the wonderful signs. But there's a bit there where it says you can, you put the date in and you say what date it is. And then I guess when you say it, you're prompted and compelled to journal, I think this is one of those journals. Are you going to aim to do it every day? Like all the successful people? I think I would like to. Like Eileen Gou. But then I think, I actually am thinking about it now.

I think each date has like a few pages. I don't think I even finish the. journaling session. I don't think I finished all the process. See, that's okay. That's how they get you. If it's too much to take the first bite, you're going to be put off. Do a little bit and then build. Yes. I'm so proud of us. I might do it another.

I was thinking maybe I could take it down to the water. Do some Saturdays. I don't know. He's gone from never journaling before to now doing sun salutations in the nude and journaling. Put your clothes on. This is Jess and Rowan. As a fellow loud person, I feel you.

I'm not looking at shy guy, am I? No, that's true. Hard pressed to hear him. As a fellow loud person, I'd like to share with you an experience I had with my mother recently. Interesting. For as long as I can remember,

the volume at which I speak has been deemed inappropriate at most times. And I would argue, because I grew up in a European household, my father's Italian, my mum's Maltese, we're loud people. And to get a word in, Sometimes volume creeps up.

But concurrently, people telling me to lower my voice has always stung. And I think it's because no one says it, they're not mean about it, but I think just being told, why are you shouting, hurts my feelings. I'm sure you've been on the receiving end sometime. Never. This is the first time I'm hearing of it. Thanks a lot, speak to yourself. Loudy.

I've had an ex-boyfriend. ex-boyfriend, mime the remote, turning down the volume, button push. You'd have to swing on him. Didn't love that. I've been asked,

inside voice, please. I hate that. That's my least favourite. Inside voice, why don't you go outside and let me speak how I want to speak? My current husband, Angus,

hit me the other day with, I'm right here. That's fair. Didn't love that either. That's fair. Didn't love any of these. She's got to be excited. He had to go, hey, babe, like, I'm right here.

But my mother, who has known me, obviously, since birth. I don't know how loud I was as a little, little kid, but obviously she's known me. Are you trying to antagonise it? I can't help it. Why is it always when I'm in the middle of the story? Hit the mute button. Sorry, it might not be coming through the mics. Shy guy has his computer on loud, and he's getting 15 emails and it keeps doing the notification.

You know he gets distracted. Here's the volume. Oh, so it's I stop the story? No? To be fair, I'd love you to just stay a little bit more present and block it out. I'm listening. You're not, you're getting distracted and yelling at him. You stop the story.

Hey, inside voice, please. I'm right here, babe. So I go out for breakfast with my mum the other day, and she hit me with a ninja move. It was that subtle and smooth, and my feelings weren't hurt. So if there is a loud person in your life, this works. I want to share it, all right? We were at a cafe, relatively close quarters. The woman next to me basically rubbing shoulders.

I was getting quite animated and excited. I think we're talking about how good Ed Sheeran was. And she hit me with the, I'm going to have to mime it to you because it was silent. It was just a hand gesture. She's placed her palm upwards. No, her hand up at the palm facing down. And then hit me with a little hand waggle. That's just like the remote.

That's not good. Disagree. You like that. That was so effective. She just went a little waggle, waggle, waggle, just a little boop-boop. Like the four fingers went down, down. Like she was nodding with her hand. I hope that I'm painting that picture well enough.

Rowan, it immediately made me lower my voice. You didn't mind that? And then 60 seconds later, I checked in and went, oh my God, my mom just basically told me to lower my voice like all these people have in my life. My feelings were not hurt. I said, that looks, that feels extremely condescending to me. Oh, you reckon? It was amazing.

All the things I would describe as condescending up until this point, that was the first time I've ever been told, uh-uh, shh. No, I, that's what I mean. Lower. Because she wasn't saying shut up. She was just saying,

quiet. Maybe you're okay with it because it was your mother. No, because if anyone I'm going to fight with, it's me mum. Interesting. If anyone gets under my skin, it's my mum.

So the fact she was able to, it was an amazingly effective technique. It made me louder. It made me louder. You reckon? Yeah, even shy guy. I think if you even went to shy guy. Oh.

I don't like that at all. I almost prefer the remote. I would... Yeah, the remote's kind of funny. Yeah. That's like... No, I dumped that guy. No, no, no.

Yeah, the remote's... Fair enough. Yeah. But the remote is, like, bah, da, da, da, that. Like, it's kind of a bit of a joke. Like, oh, turn... See, I told Angus, like, no more.

I'm right here. That I don't care for. But the... Little, little waggle. No, that says, I... That feels to me a bit like... Oh, okay. Proceed with caution.

I thought I was coming here to help people. No, that's bad. Don't do that one. use our inside voices. I hate that too. But I think the fact there's no voice insistent. All right, I'm going to put it on Instagram. I'd love a vote.

We're going to do a poll. Okay. How do you feel about the waggle? Yep, the waggle to waggle down. The waggle to tell someone, you're screaming. Oh. It's not for me at all. Don't do it to Rowan.

This is Jess and Rowan. New for breakfast in 2026. This is Jess and Rowan. Good morning. That's Olivia Dean. Shy guy's here too. Good day, show guy. Morning.

He's the man I need. Please discuss. To clear up something that was said incorrectly on this program. We do want to put out a little apology to everyone listening. To anyone with spines. If you've got a spine, please listen here. Turn it up. Slugs, tune out.

May I'd well turn off, get back in the water. I don't want to be a show for slugs. No, it's fine. Shark guy, I'm not apologising. I didn't say it. Rowan didn't say it. You're the one who need to apologize. I said it from you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, so did I. But I'm saying we didn't start it. Earlier we played pink. We wondered what she was doing right now. So we googled it. She's recovering from surgery. Less we more eye. You brought it up.

Well, I'm putting a retraction out. I said she's recovering from a cervical disc surgery. So I immediately thought, as did Jess, something going on down there. And we started having an absolute goal with the education system for not teaching us proper biology about women. Yep. Well, I started talking about Jess down there. Your cervix? I didn't know that was down there.

I know. Rowan said, let me look. It was weird. Yeah, I was like, I can hear some heaven music when you open your legs. It was weird stuff.

It got tense. Because you said cervical. Because that's how it's spelled, Rowan. But then luckily we had a nurse call in and say it's actually pronounced cervical. Cervical. Cerecical disc.

Is in your upper, like, neck. Did you ask the nurse why they spelled the same? Because I know it's her domain naming parts of the body. I didn't ask her why. Syveical. You're not. It looks the same. Looks the same.

Oh, but is it the same? Is it the same? Well, there's no such thing as a cervical disc. Are you sure? Because now you're, I'm very... I'd cross-checked that one. I googled that one. Jess and I are making downstairs, like, jokes?

I know. This is nothing to joke about spinal surgery. Spinal stuff? Cervical. Yep. Anyway, we are your medical show. We're going to put that on a t-chat. Asterix.

This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, and if you get a nine, we'll give you another go at it. We're calling it redemption round. Still getting $10,000 at $7. And that would be easier, Kirsty, is that if you just got the 10 straight away. I'm hoping so. Very good.

Kirsty, I can see here you've told Shy Guy you're a nurse. Did you appreciate our retraction amendment on the cervical disc? Yes, that was funny. That was very funny. You did well. Thank you very much. A fair attraction, do you think? I think it was okay.

Okay, very much. We should have got it wrong in the first place is what Nurse Kirsty is saying. We love our nurses. We'd love to give you 10 grand. What are you going to spend the money on? Oh, probably a barbecue. $10,000 barbecue? Oh, one of those big green eggs that are so expensive.

Yeah, like a kitchen. Outdoor kitchen. Oh, nice one. Some outdoor entertaining at Kirsty's house come autumn. Oh, we're not. be amazing. It would be amazing. Alrighty. Well, I, um, my barbecue brand knowledge is limited. Okay.

Are there any that start with the letter L? You could get like a... Maybe you, part of that 10 grand could be some lighter fluid. Do you need that for a barbecue? Yeah, yeah, kind of. Okay. Kirsty, your letter's L, okay? Okay.

All righty, you ready? I think so. Okay. Your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter L. We need you to name a type of pasta. A legini, legwini. A dog breed. Labrador.

A lolly. A past. A body part. Leg. A country. Lebanon. A fabric. Lither.

An astrology term. Lightning. A reality TV show. Love at first sight. Something in the shed. A ladder. A girl group. Oh, pass.

I mean, pretty good with the answering vibes. Not bad. A couple there that are... Are you okay with the Linguini? Nope. Even though she was saying Linguini. Sorry, we have to take your first answer. Okay, wants to know.

Unfortunately, Kersie, if I was anyone else, I would have paid Ligini, but we've got to have some scruples here, Ron, because then anyone could be mispronouncing anything. Yeah, you've got to get right. A lifesaver for a lolly. Astrology term, what did you say? I said lightning. No. That's a weather thing.

That's a weather thing. That's so hard. It is hard. Love at first sight, did that show? Married at first sight. Or Love Island. I think he combined the two. I did.

I did. Okay. So you got one, two, three, four. Because that's real. There's no love on married at first sight. Five, an admirable effort. Kirsty. Yes, a little golf clap.

Middle of the road. Thank you for joining the show, babe. You're going to have to buy your own barbecue. Thank you, Kirsty, for playing back again tomorrow, 7 and 8 o'clock. And if you get a 9, we'll give you another go at it. But the easiest way to do that is to just get the 10 in the first place. Amen. Let's save everyone the time.

We're doing some shower chat. Next, so Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. You'll not be asked an easier question today. Do you shower with glasses on? Now, this is not a question I've ever contemplated, Me either. But in me scrolling yesterday, I follow a great page.

Look, it's 8-11, so I'm going to have to censor this, but stuff you should care about? It's a great page. 3.4 million followers on Instagram, and what they're very famous for is just asking random question, I guarantee, you've not put much thought into. Clever. Yesterday they post, do you shower with glasses on? Thousands and thousands of comments. No way. Now, I've never worn glasses or dated someone with glasses.

Have you? No. So you're basing this opinion purely on what you think is logical. If you're so blind, though, like if you're blind, blind, blind, then yes. So that's what most of the first hundred comments are, you are trolling, no one is showering with their glasses on. Only if you're like blind. Someone said, if I need my glasses to see, well, it stands to reason. I need them in the shower.

I don't want to be rolling around blind, which, you know, if it's a mixer or even the shower tap, am I at the position that I need them to? I don't want to just rely on the feel of the water. I don't need glasses. So I don't know. I don't know. Yes. Someone else has said, do you know how many times I have gotten in the shower without them

and had to get back out if I'm in a foreign shower? I'm at a hotel. I'm at a friend's place because I can't discern the difference between the body wash, the shampoo and the conditioner. Yeah. And I guess if you want to wash your face, you can just take the glasses off, hit yourself a rinse and put them back on. Someone else said, do you swim in them too?

And I don't know which point they're trying to make because, again, I would need to know where I'm going if I'm in the surf or a lake or even a pool. Mum and dad both have glasses and when they got in the water, they would, didn't make glasses. They were rolling blind. Now, could you text your parents? Are you showering with your glasses on? One woman said, I am so blind, but I refuse to take my very expensive glasses

into the shower. So what I have done is put my shampoo in the left corner, my conditioner in the right corner, and my body wash right at the foot of the shower entry, so I know which bottle is which. So she's got a whole system. Yeah, the whole thing. But that whole system would be out of whack if she was in a foreign shower.

It's like, you know. Hacks and tricks. Hacks and stuff. Like I think I saw in the movie Daredevil with Ben Affleck. Great film where he folds the nut money. Folds the money. To know which note is which. Clever.

Someone else has said, my glasses are so a part of my face. I am a 24-7 glasses wearer. I get into the shower without realizing, but always jump out to take them off because I don't want them to fog up. My mother said, ha-ha, no. Like seven-Os.

She does not shower with her glasses on. Does not shower with glasses on. And again, you and I, not glasses wearers, so I'd love to get a little temperature check. When's the last time you got your eyes checked, by the way? That's a good question, because I need to get them checked, I think. I know it's not what you asked But I got my hearing checked not long ago

But eyes, I can't tell you if I've ever had my eyes checked Well, that's what I'm saying. People just grow up thinking it's normal And then get a bit older and everything Everything's normal. Then they get a check and they go, You should see that a lot better than you are. 100%.

You know, that's a lot of times why children are disruptive in the classroom. Can't see probably. One, they're bored. But two, they can't see the board. Mrs. Edmund sucks. That's probably why. Well, probably why. But also get your, maybe.

Maybe the ice checked. Anyway, I wanted to get a quick temperature check. 131060 or 048-8-1069. Are we wearing glasses in the shower? Yeah. Do you have to wear anything else in the shower? Mostly just glasses. Mostly glass.

Oh, okay. You're wearing your glasses in the shower. 13106. Take those next. This is Jess and Rowan. Are you wearing the glasses in the shower? Yeah, it was a poll put up by stuff you should care about. Three point four million followers and thousands of comments.

Not a question I've ever pondered. No. Both my parents wear glasses. My dad full time, my mum part time. Same is. But I've never watched them in the shower. Never? Never?

I don't know what they do. My dad's pretty blind. Like, how does he know he's not picking up, you know, I don't know, my mum's special shampoo and using that as body wash? You know, how do you see? I don't know. You need glasses. I would have thought it stands the reason you do need to.

to wear them. One woman commented saying, I wear glasses, but I'll put contacts into shower. Come out, take them out. Put my glasses back on. It does feel like a lot of work. A good friend of the show, Pete DMD us. I've been known to shower with beer goggles on. That you have, Pete. Great year, Pete. There you have. Tracy, good morning. Good morning. Are you a glasses wearer, babe? I am. I'm as blind as a bat. Okay, so how you're rolling in the shower then? Right. So, different colored tops for the shampoo conditioner and the body wash.

Yep, smart. No, no glasses. Okay. So sorry, you can discern the colour because that's fine, but in terms of reading a label, it's out the question. Oh, look, when we go to a hotel, my husband has to come into the room, tell me which ones it is. Yep. Pump it into your hand. And go and go and have my shower because, no, can't discern it.

There you go. Interesting. But don't want to wear them into the shower. Why don't you just keep your glasses on? I mean, yeah, you just leave them on. But I guess you made the good point about washing your face. Yep. Jamie, good morning.

Good morning. You're a glasses wearer, obviously. I am long term. Long term, all right. What are you do in the shower? So when I was a kid, I never used to care about it because, you know, that was just, my parents used to wash my hair and stuff. But as I got older and, you know, you got the joys of shaving your legs and everything.

Yep. That was just a whole different scenario. So, yes, I did wear them in the shower. Yes, because how do you make sure you've got all the hairs? That's right. And as for shampoo, body wash, it's all in. separate, like, special spots in the shower. Yeah.

And now I have children of my own. It's very interesting getting a shower with them on, washing the children. Yeah. Making sure you're not getting it in their eyes or, you know. They might move it around playing silly buggers, a bit of fun. Exactly. I'm going to put mum's body wash where the conditioner was.

Sorry. Her hair's going to be dry. Jess, hello. Hi. Oh, I like this. You've only recently had to start wearing glasses. Yeah, in the last two years. I've become a glasses wearer to the point that I even have my lenses in my sunnies because, like, I'm able to see why driving.

Don't wear them when I'm in the shower. However, my son has recently asked me, since wearing glasses, when I dream, do I see myself wearing my glasses, like, through with the glasses on? That's deep, man. That is deep. And what was your response? I don't know, because I haven't paid attention. You've got to pay attention to your dreams. Do you ever look in the mirror in your dream and see your reflection?

Yeah, I've got a six-pack and I'm gorgeous. This is Jess and Rowan. I would like to just help someone. We've had a text on 048-8-18-1069. Bucketlist. Nope, you've got to go to hit.com.com. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, guys. We're not, we're not.

I thought I made it very clear you need the internet for the website. That's not how that works. But maybe that was not clear. I want to help this person. Hit.com.com. That's where you do live the dream. Time has ticking them. Well, maybe they don't have internet, Jess.

We've been through this. You have to have internet to get on there. Do you not need internet to text? No. That's separate. Connectione. Oh, okay. Separate connection.

Oh, so that's not an I message. That's a standard 55 cent message. That is a 55 cent message. They've wasted that. Half a killer python on a wasted entry. Sorry. That's neat. No, they're not.

You've got to pay at least $2 for a killer python. No, the text. Sorry, we're talking to text. Sorry, is that not it? So, it's not asking anymore? Afflation. No, texting. Is it free?

Remember, did you have a prepaid phone growing up, like your first phone? Oh, yeah, all that's free now. Did you go to the news agent and get, you know, $30 credit? Wanted on how to reverse? Yeah, all that stuff. So is that not a thing now? Nah, not really. So I get a phone and I can just text?

No, I think we just pay, like, we pay the fee for you basically. We do. Oh, you mean, wait, now, hang on. Are you talking about us and the text lot? Are you talking about, no, there are certain numbers that charge, but an irregular. phone numbers free. Right.

But when Lucia is old enough and wants a phone, can I do prepaid old school where she goes and gets the newsagent credit? You can still do prepaid. But it's free texting. Yeah, but it's free texting, free calls. That's all new. That's all pretty standard now. So is the credit just for internet connection for the kids these days?

Data. Data. How much data you buy in the data? But if you message Lucia, that's data. Yeah. It's data. Data. Data.

So you've got to have a data plan. Is it internet stuff? Or is it dada? It's dada. He gets so woggy around me. Have you noticed? I have noticed. It's rubbing off and I love it.

I feel like that's how you'll listen. I was not to do a bit of this. Oh, I was wagging the head. That's a callback from earlier in the show. Hey, that's, yeah, this is the podcast. So I got it just quieted down, waggled me. Give it. He said shut up.

No, shut up is different to quiet down. You're not meant to talk while you do it. Oh, sorry. I did it again. Did he mean to do that or was it just come out? No. I think it's coming up. going to get you an ancestry. I'm going to get you an Ancestry.com swab.

I'm going to send it off. You might have something in you, darling. Maybe. Anyway. You want something in you? Play this one. No. This is Jess and Rowan. Thinking about retiring the idea of having a moustache.

Completely. What? Are you fielding? Before I jump down your throat. Let me try and be a bit more conscientious. Make my dream. Would you like a piece? On that or support.

You do whatever you wanted. I think it's a terrible idea. Your face looks weird without it. Straight away. Have I coded you as a mustache man maybe? And without it, which was an accidental shave, you admitted. Can you tell where the accident is too? Maybe it's a bit short right now, but...

It is a bit short, but I am seeing a little patch only because you're now pointing it at. The line? Yes. Because when I did it, it went so, like, close. Close. That now, I didn't cut anything, but it's like now, It's not growing easily.

It's annoying. It's annoying. It's annoying. It's like a wax where you've pulled the follicles out, it takes way longer to grow back. Pretty much what it is. It's almost like you've done. You've dug out the follicles. So annoying.

It's just, it's so annoying. I like it more, but it's so annoying. Having a mustache is annoying. Yeah, I think it's annoying. Do you like the look of it though? I like the look of it. It's a bit annoying. Every time I have it, my girlfriend Lucy's always like, I'm sick of that.

It doesn't like it. Oh, okay. Now, that was going to be my follow up. My opinion matters, of course. Your partner's matters. more and yours matters the most. I just think it's easier. Shagai, where do you stand on the Mo?

Um, I don't care. Okay. We knew that was coming. Why'd you even ask him, Jess? Seriously. Ah, Babs, I don't care. He's had such an attitude today. If only Babs was here, so I thought maybe.

Oh, I know that's why. I think Babs would vote Moe because she's like a cool young chicken. Aren't they all into mustaches? Moes are cooling in. Yeah, Moes are cool. And you. Salomey has a moe. Does he?

He's cooling in. He's a little thin moat. See, Allaudy. Yeah, he's got the little French moat. Alawdy's got that wispy thing going on. Very Wuthering Heights. It's, because here's the thing as well. It grows.

I know we've talked about the Adolf, but it grows, doesn't grow evenly from the middle outwards, the middle Adolf bit thick and then it's a reverse Avalh. Completely thins out. So I'm like, one time, I went to this, like, went to place away for dinner and they had a scooter guy. He went, oh my God. And what's the problem?

He goes. Dude, I couldn't see the sides of the moustache. I almost went, Main Fuhr. And I went, you're an asshole, dude. Oh, my God. What do you mean he couldn't see the size? Like, they're so wispy. I was like, from the angle.

Because I left it. It was like thick in the middle, the Hitler bit. And then the outside bit was just like a bit. Unacceptable. And he was just like, I guess, bored could all he does stand on the door. Absolutely. And he hit me with the Mine Fuhrer. That's not not.

And then I shaved the whole thing the next day. It's a couple years ago. Of course. I said, I can't be doing the Hitler. No. No, no. Anyway, I'm thinking about retiring. I'm not happy that we literally got photos done weeks ago, me or weeks ago.

And that's what we're meant to look like when we're out in Pumpling. Well, once I lose me, once I lose all the baby fat, we're going to have to change them again. Yeah, maybe we have to do a... You can keep your single ones. We'll just put one of my... I look fantastic in mine. Yeah, you just leave yours and then I'll just...

We'll superimpose you in. Nice. Oh, the mustache. Maybe. I mean, I'm like, see how I feel. It's always, because I have a problem with the sides. With the sides, absolutely. And as I say, I think Lucy, your girlfriend.

The size, but also where it ends. I get a bit. Maybe that's just your genetic saying you are not meant for a mustache. No, it's me in the blade. I creep up and that eventually it looks ridiculous because my fat head anyway. That I just laugh too hard. Thanks a lot. I'm sorry, fat head is amusing.

Yeah, I did say it funny too. You did say. How would you say it actually? Should I go? Fat head. No. How would you say it the new way? Call, say, Rowan, you got such a fat head.

No, say it. Hang on why. Say it in your Jess voice. Yeah. You got a fat head. This is Jess and Rowan. And we are done for the day, guys. Funny show.

Funny show today. A lot of revelations. A lot of reveals. Label them because I've forgotten them already. That we've both started journaling. Oh, yeah, journaling. Yep, yep. But like last night we both picked up our journals.

And I've never done it. For the first time. I know, I've not done it in anxious. Well, I thought you'd never done it. And then you said on air. No, I have been in and out of journaling. But I've had months off, Ron. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But Eileen Gou, my new favourite Winter Olympian. Who is this chick? Let me Google. She's Chinese American. Actually, what do you make of this? Was born in America has started competing for China, though. Interesting. She's the most decorated Olympian, Winter Olympian.

Americans would not like that. I can't imagine they would. Apparently she had to prove a lot for China, too. I'll see you. she 22 years old, Rowan, she's unbelievable and I'm pretty sure

she's studying I know that face something hectic There is some great audio of her which went around last week When she laughed at that journalist Who asked her a very condescending question Maybe that's what I've seen

Have you seen that? The man said, so she does two sports, Rowan She got a silver in one And this awful white man goes Do you consider yourself as having one silver or having lost a gold. Oh, I saw that. I saw that.

I'm the most decorated winter olympian in history, bro. That's what I saw. I'm so proud of what I've been able to achieve. Yeah, I saw her laughing at this guy. And your silly little question isn't going to upset me. She's also a fashion model. It's a cover of Vogue. Yeah, man.

She's unbelievable. She's 22 and she was talking about... It's asking about silver medals. Okay, guys. She was talking about neuroplasticity and how she keeps her mind sharp and works towards the person she wants to be, and journaling is part of that.

She's amazing. She's my new girl crush. Neuropasticity. Plasticity, yeah. And she's studying maybe neuroscience. It's gorgeous. Isn't she? It's amazing.

Talented, smart, hilarious. Awesome. Just like you. Get your nose out of there. Anyway, bye guys. See you tomorrow. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. The El Maco is back at Maccas.

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