Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - All I want to do is bum

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Rohan sends Producer Babs off on a quest for pineapple juice, Jess asks Angus to be better and we play Shy Guy Dips!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Almeco is back at Mac is. Try the new range today. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Yo, what up, everyone? Welcome to the podcast. Hello. Hell of a Wednesday.

Hell of a Wednesday. Hell of a Wednesday. Really fun. I'm all jacked up on pineapple juice. Why? Because of my voice. Why? I wonder why.

There's a few reasons why I would drink pineapple juice. A few. Please. Educate everyone. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Pineapple juice has, does pineapple juice have the same effect on urine that asparagus does?

No, I think it, not urine. No? Not urine. Babs, can I ask your question? Yes. How did you feel about the directive from Rowan today? Leave your station. Leave your post.

Unmanned, which is to sit by the phones and talk to the rice cookers. Yeah. Head out to the quickiemer and hunt for pineapple juice. I mean, I feel like I've gotten similar. task before? There you go. There you go. Yeah, but have you gotten similar tasks from someone who's been in the chair for eight

freaking days? Probably not, but I was, you know, I'm open to it. It had to start soon. Look. I would love to see Babbs's job description because nowhere in her contract, do I believe it says for any whim of Rowans. And nowhere in your contract does it say have to do all the fucking social media, but you still have to do it, don't you?

That's, I get like what you're doing. there and it's counteractive to the point I'm trying to make about Babs, but you're also being nice to me about how much work I do. They're great socials too. See, I appreciate you, but I am rewarded handsomely. This young lady,

this young lady, unfortunately. With Babs is a dot point, all-rounder. Oh my God, that's what I got when I was. That's what this comes under. That's what I got. What is your age, yes. Oh, no. That's another nickname for her.

Hot sausage, Barbara of the Virgin Mary. And our all-round. The Great All Rounder. She's Lamb. Oh my God, we call the Lamb. She's the Great All Rounder. Why lamb? Isn't that the ad?

The Great All Rounder. I don't know that. The Marit All-Townian thing. It might be a Tazzy thing. The Tazzy's coming out. You know? Is it though? Because that's great.

I would love to call you the lamb. As in because it's like every bit of a bit of a year. Oh. Are you talking about like? I don't know. It's just the ad. Yeah. Oh, okay.

The Great Old Round. Lamb all rounder. Australian lamb campaign returns. See, there you go. What's that dude's name? Sam, Sam, someone, Sam. Keckovich. Sam Kekovic.

That's right. Lamb Basseter. Can we call her the lamb basseter? Oh my God, it's turned into the lamb baster. The hot sausage. Where were we the other day? Was it in the podcast? We were talking about the superior meat.

And we got caught up in duck. See, lamb for me would be up there. I love a little lamb. Yeah, I like lamb cutlet. That's crumbed. Oh, I, I. Good shout. No. Get your crumbs off me lamb.

With some really thick gravy and mashed potato and vegetables. I disagree again. Thick. Grave should be thick. Yeah. I want it watery. No, that's a ju. I love a juu. God, you're a fancy bitch. You are layered. You're like an ogre. Auger's, I like onions.

No, in the onion thing. I'm going to do that parquet. Can you not laugh that hard, by the way? I love Shrek. Me too, bro. Shag, have you found anything about lamb being the all-rounder? Lamb? No. The what?

Have you seen all the trends with Shrek? People, don't, never mind. No, she loves Shrek. Keep going. I probably have. There's a trend where, like, people are putting, there's like a Snapchat filter of Shrek behind you

with his arm on your shoulder. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Hook up with Shrek. Oh, okay. I'm not in the hookup interpretation. Yeah, people like, can you do that later?

And we can see we can get some more followers on the Instagram. Sure. Yes. More social media for you to do. More social media for me to do. Well, you get part. We should get from order and absolutely. I do.

I do. But what I'm saying is I should have been the one, if anyone, to go get you. Actually, you should have been the one to go get pineapple juice. No, it's nice to go outside. See, you're welcome. All right, big show today. Absolutely. Bye.

Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Welcome. We've got for Jess and Roewee. Something new for breakfast. You know, Jess. I'm all about Wii Wu methods to help yourself. You'll get to know Rowan.

Hot, tawny happy. Yay! It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowers.

This is going to be good. Ooh, hump day. Hello? Hump day. Are you a hump day guy? But do you say that? No, I haven't said hump day in a long time. I don't know why I thought about that.

I was like, it needs something to say. Because we've been on together on a Wednesday. In fact, last Wednesday was an. absolute show. Oh, it was too. But I don't remember you ever saying the phrase hump day. I didn't. Do you don't like hump day? No, I just, I feel like you're a hump day person or you're not.

And I don't think I would have pegged you as someone who says the phrase, happy hump day. I don't think I've said hump day in like three years. It is pretty crazy what happens when you get behind the big stick. The stuff that comes out of your gob. Like I caught myself saying byro the other day. I went, oh my God, I just became my nana borg. Who says byro? And telly?

I don't really say telly in my everyday vernacular. Right, right. But I came out with telly. On the telly. On the telly. Interesting. So it is funny. I don't know why I'm critiquing hump day so much, but it's just interesting what happens.

Yeah, I haven't said hump day in a long time. When you are sitting in the chair. Nice chair too. Good morning, how are you feeling? You're a bit sounding with different today. I was going to say, Shago, do we address the elephant? in the room. Oh, wow, another fact joke.

Interesting. Straight in the elephant. If you let me finish, I was going to say, or should I say. Why would I let you finish when it's so insulting? Or should I say very sexy husky? Really? I mean, you can think that. The elephant has vacated.

Welcome, welcome. There's a husky in the room. Can you pretend to do love song dedications? Absolutely. What is Richard Mercer doing these days? Isn't he dead? I thought he died. Falay, Richard.

I was joking. Is he not? Is he actually dead? No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just because they leave Raider doesn't mean they die. Everyone thought I died. Hang on one second.

Welcome to the party, Betty. My name is Richard. Edward. That's my dad's name. My name is Richard Edwards. Dick Edwards. On the text line, 04,0008-1069. It's hot man.

Spando Ballet for Jessica. Who's in jail. Shout out. Oh my God. The request will always be in jail. Sorry, I thought you were Googling Richard Mercer and you said he's in jail. I was like, what did he do? Guys, guys, guys.

Oh, sorry, we're bringing it down. No, right now. Spend her ballet for Jessica in that Thai little suburb near the Melbourne airport. She's in prison for 25 years for stealing everything at Judy Free. And laughing at the people that get kicked off the planes. Can we actually talk about that at? some point today because I don't, have you spoken about that in the past, how you used to make a game out of it?

That's a story I tell all the time about the story of you. Working at the airport and people who would run for the plane or worse, doodle. Yeah. And it was always the dad of the family. And what they would say. They'll wait for us. No, but they don't, though. They don't wait.

My favourite fact. When it is final call and they say, this is a page for Rowan Edwards, Rowan Edwards, your flight QF1, direct to London, is waiting for you. That means they are looking for your bag. And if they can find your bag, your suitcase under the carrier of the plane. Before you. Before you get that, you off, baby. Yeah, gone.

If you ever hear the phrase offloading procedures have commenced. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. That's what offloading procedures. There is a race between the baggage handlers. Can they find your bag faster? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're off too bad. They are not going to wait for you.

It gets me so riled up. And they would yell at you. They would yell at you because they wanted a cheaper bottle of vodka and you're like, no, no, give me a boarding pass. 100%. What flight are you on? Don't worry about it. Get me the two for 49 vodka.

No. Because I'm not going to get in trouble when they see you roll in with the vodka and they go, who sold that to you? Yeah, you cannot be late to an airport. You cannot be laid to a plane. Sorry, plane. It's one in the same. I guess so.

But anyway, have we found out what Richard Mercer is doing? No, but I found his Instagram and he's got an ad for sex boat. But is he dead? And then he was there? He posted the poster. He's dead. He's not dead. He's not dead.

When was that? Yesterday. Yesterday. It was for 2013 year. Oh. 2013? Well, that was when he was last act. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Last active, 2013. He's dead, bro. He's over a decade. No, no, he didn't interview with worldly magazine in 2022. Okay, but he could still be dead. That's still three years, four years. Babs, good morning. Can you do us a quick favour today in between all the phone calls?

just have a hunt to see if Richard Mercer is dead. And throughout the show, we'll get a... An update. Richard Mercer dead update. Sure. You okay with that? Yep, that's fine. Lovely.

Because if he is, one, that would make me very sad. Yeah, I don't want him to die. No, he was unreal and he had such a voice. Oh, my God. But what I'd be hearing is, Rowan, there is a gap in the market for you to... Die? You surp him with this sexy husk. Well, well, yeah.

You've got going on. Also, I might be able to leave. Seven shows in your voice is already capitulated. I was waiting for the answer. I found it finally. We have a big show today, $10,000 Alphabet. It's hot. 7 o'clock.

Whoa. But... Get off my... Get off wasted on my lap, forth. I thought it was weird. Now I know what. You like the feel of these silk fans. Got a warm of quarter rights.

Am I right, guys? Welcome to the party. Oh, my God. That sound awful. I think it sounds great. Husky. But what I... Have I even been on air for longer than 20 hours, shy guy?

Since the dawn of the Jess and Rowan era. 21. 21 hours. Okay, good. It's embarrassing from you. Do we need to get you a singing coach or some sort of vocal coach? No, not really. You can't keep up like this.

Shai... I said Shaggot. Babs, where are you at on the death update? There's nothing public. Keep looking. He is a public figure, guys. should be able to find him. Well, no, well, none of he's dead. All right.

04-8-8-1069. Richard Corp. Or if you know, well, that was the text line. If you know, what's up with Richard Mercer? Oh my God, I can't believe I might have heard my last love song dedication. I didn't even know it was my last one. Alba bucks at 7 o'clock and at 8 o'clock. And if you want to get on our cruise, nine nights on the water, seven nights on the water, if you like.

When you hear the ship on, you get a call us. It's very soon. So if you're listening now, don't turn off. Call Mr. Husk. And next, oh, Mr Hux is hornier as, next, if you exercise with your loved one, we've got the news for you. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess couples who exercise together have stronger relationships, research says. Well, you've been teasing me, flirting with me for about two weeks now.

Jess, I'm going to get up an hour earlier like you do. Yeah, yeah, I want to do that. And start going to the gym like you do. And I have said, every time you've mentioned that plan, Ro, Ro, Ro, let's do it together. Yeah. You've yet to wake up and do it. No.

But I, I feel like I knew this. Yeah, well, it's true. It's not just romantic couples. Any sort of partnering, I imagine, would benefit from getting a sweat on. Yeah, researchers are saying that you found on days when people were exercised with their partner, they felt more positive emotions during the workout and had a better mood during the day. I love that. Compared to when they didn't.

Does it say anything about competitive couples? Because good friends of ours, Kate and Reese, sometimes they train together. Yeah, it does. And they are both very competitive. So could it also potentially lead to some problems? I can imagine Kate getting mad at Reese sometimes. Absolutely. I can really imagine it.

It does say mismatched fitness levels and different goals and competing schedules, turn workouts into sources of tension. Ah, we don't like that. Rather than connection. See, my husband, he enjoys a bit of a run and he's got a great attitude to cardio. whereas I would be so bitter about it. False me too. If he said, oh, let's do a bit on the treadmill, I'd go, get out of here.

There's no way. There's no way you're training with Angus. All I want to do is bum. I just want to train bum. I want to train the glutes. Oh, right. So what are you doing the presses and stuff? I'm doing the presses.

I'm doing the squats. I'm gobbleding. I'm sumoing. Wow. I'm doing all the things. I follow all the hot chicks with good bums on Instagram. Same. And I copy what they do.

No, I don't. What do they do? They do the goblets and the sumos and the curtsies. Curtsy? Oh, wow, that's not a bad idea. Because that works the sides. You've got to work the sides as well, shy guys. You got to go full round for the bum. You need a nice peach.

You can't just do back ones. Why do we start saying peach? Is it because it looks like a peach? Emogies. Because it looks like a, yeah, 100%. Peachy. I think only started when people started using emojis. Ah, yeah, makes sense.

Now that's a great chicken or the egg, which came first. the adjective peachy describe a well-rounded bum or the emoji that had such a well-defined indentation kind of look like a bum. What about... What fruit do you think better represents the bum? Watermelon? I don't know. No, probably not.

Watermelon? Where's the crack? Some people maybe. Well, you can make a crack if you want to make a crick. In a watermelon. Yeah. It's hard to crack a watermelon. Have you seen the people that crack in between the legs? Oh, unbelievable.

Could never do it. Not doing any abs? What do you do? Like, why don't you just only butt stuff? No. What? Sometimes I do a shoulder. I don't care for abs.

It's so bad, isn't it? Because my core is relatively weak, I'm going to blame having the child. Yeah, that's what your mum, you're allowed to. Thank you very much. The only way to build that back up again would be to do some core stuff, but I don't want to. It hurts. That's the point. That's the point.

Whereas I feel good doing the bum stuff. I bet you do. That's fair. You're disgusting. But yeah, Angus and I, but again, the conflicting schedule. as you say, it's never going to happen with Gussie and I. It does say to make sure you have clear expectations and you have to ask, are you training to push each other?

Oh. Or are we just hanging out? So if we're going to get up at the crack of dawn, before dawn, the sun is nowhere to be seen when we'll need to get up. True. What are your goals? Are we going to do some abs for you, some bum for me? Well, I don't want to do abs.

They hurt. Okay, now you're speaking my language, but I. This is Jess and Roe. Where do you stand on a tire for a plane? You are travelling. Important for landing? Not eight. Nice, very.

What are you talking about? See, people think you're a dofuss. You are actually razor sharp. There's some group shaps, I'm a bottle. Pick it, pardon. You are sharp. Can you just tell Taco to worry about his own show? Because I'm trying my hardest over here, go.

What is this jazz bed for? Me? The voice shy guy. My mum calls me yesterday. Yep. Reveals that she's been listening. Great. Not one scrap of feedback, ma.

Not a cheeky text, not a ha-ha. She goes, geez, that Rowan, sharp, isn't he? Quick, witted. Like a... I said yes, it was a surprise to us all. Like a tag, baby. So it's just me.

I'm pretending to dance with Lisa. Is that, baby? God love your mother. Whoa, did you smack her bum? No, we did that. Mid-high-five? Oh, was that a mid-high-five. Anyway, sharp. A tire, not a tire, a tire, clothing, guns.

Oh, I thought you said tight. Did you hear the auto tune in my voice go then? Yes, all right. A tire. What you wear on a plane. Because I appreciate living in our fair nation, anywhere we want to go, even if it is within our own borders, you don't need your passport, you're traveling ages. Our country is gigantic. It is a little different in Europe where they have the budget. airlines and you can do a hop skip and a jump and literally be in a whole new country. So that's where we are talking.

Ryanair is basically the jet star of Europe. Yep. And they are known, particularly online, Rowan, for having a bit of a tree to mean, keep them keen personality on their social media. Because they literally charge something like 30 bucks for a flight. I thought they were doing one dollar flights at some point. They do do spike sales stuff. The CEO is very much like, well, let you stand up if you want to.

was safe. The stand-up. Yes, you've seen that video. That's that guy. They were literally talking about getting rid of the seats to get more people on the plane, which would bring the price down. He talked about removing the toilets for less than flights to go for less than 40 minutes because you don't need them.

And that way, your flight will go down like $10. He is the CEO. Was he legit about all these things? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So this latest one, people are going, you're joking. This cannot be real. You cannot be policing what people wear on a plane.

Maybe in first class. an economy. Well, don't I know it? Well, can they? If you rocked up wearing a... Well, they can be dress codes. Paper bag, would they tell you to get off? Some of the, like, Emirates and stuff, they might be a bit of a, they might be fun. Emirates or like, what's another one? Mate, Qatar.

Qatar, that's why I'm sorry, I'm being guitar. Your Qatar. Well, that's who we flew. And to be honest, I, like, went and got out, basically a silk, kind of like what I'm wearing now, a silk matching set, because I thought, what to jazz it up. Pajamas. That are like... Yeah, and then they give you pajamas anyway.

So it's a bit weird that I'm dressing. But what Ryanair is taking aim at today in their latest post, it's 2026, let's stop travelling in jeans. Wow. Now, they haven't said, you'll be kicked off. You can't get on the plane. But people are saying, what's wrong with jeans? And they're arguing people in the comments going, well, what's right with them?

I would like to know who's getting on a plane in denim. I'm not getting on a plane in denim. It is so uncomfortable. Yeah, but you, this is the on brand. Oh, that is on brevity. I used to live in jeans. Year round. You know who you would get along with?

Australian supermodel, Megan Gale. I once read a Murray-Clair interview she did. You don't know Megan Gale? Sorry? You don't know Megan Gail? I was going to say, set him up. He would get along. We'd all get along well with Megan Gale.

We would get along with Miranda Kerr. She's basically, oh my God. Megan Gale wants in an interview and they said if you could wear one thing for the rest of your life, she said jeans and I've never stopped thinking about it. What do you mean, Megan? Denham is so un-com. These are so far as wear whatever they want. Sorry?

Megan's 50. Oh, she's been like... Sorry. Aegis. Can we talk about 50 world women not deserving of love? Are they shy guys? Not deserving of my memory or recall? She's 50.

She's married to a guy called Sean. Yeah, gorgeous couple. Oh, my God. Is it Sean or is it seen? S-H-A-U-N. Sean. He's got the H-H-E-H. Sean.

But, Jeans, I don't care, even if you are on a Ryan-A-F flight, and in 45 minutes you'll be in Belarus. Nice. We're not wearing denim on planes, surely. Why is it even a conversation that's happening? Denim shorts, maybe. Oh, even then, the waistband. I need an elasticated waistband if I'm going to be sitting for upwards of 25 minutes. I'm not doing, I'm doing elasticated everything. We thought about it. Absolutely. Shy guy. So if you are popping off to Europe, maybe for a Euro summer, don't be wearing jeans on Ryanair. Don't sit next to a 50 year old as well, sounds like it.

Someone joked in the comments, whenever I take them off, though, the flight attendants get mad. at me. Yay. This is Jess and Rowan. I just wanted to touch on something that we landed on inadvertently yesterday. A meal that is in high rotation in my house. We've got to come up with a better name than the bean dish. No, it is now the bean dish.

It is the bean dish. It is essentially a can of cannellini beans sauteed with garlic and onion, a bit of paprika, some diced tomatoes, and paramediano. And finished off with the memories of an old lover. Most not finished off. It's kind of started. maintained and finished off. Because yes, Rowan, I learnt it from an ex,

an Italian stallion that I dated whilst I lived in London. You've got to stop calling me stallion as well. You should have seen him. There is no other word. I can picture him. Yeah. Foof. Okay. Don't do that.

The bean dish has survived longer than obviously that relationship ever did. It's been over a decade. I've been making the beans. And yes, it's. connected to a past lover. Connected to a past lover. So we thought there might be something in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Recipes and dishes that have lasted longer for you giving you more joy in your life than the relationship that person ever did. Yes, okay. Got a couple of contributions yesterday. Oh, yeah. Mel said my ex-husband was a chef. Oh, okay. His sticky date pudding has lasted longer than marriage.

I bet it did. Someone has said my dad's ex-girlfriend. When he was young, oh, wow. Showed him how to make beef stroganoff. My dad makes it so much that my mom's learned to make it. So now my mom is making my dad's ex-girlfriend's beef stroganoff. Wow.

Someone has said, my friend, UJ, my spaghetti fruta de mare, spaghetti with the seafood. Is that a real word? Yeah. Fruta de Mare is like fruits of the sea. Oh, okay. Yep, yeah, yeah. Is definitely from my ex.

Really? But she's justified it by saying it's a pretty standard Italian dish, So that's how I've gotten around it. I said, no, no, your ex taught you. To be fair, if your ex taught you, like, how to make a steak, I think that's different. Oh, okay. Well, now we've got blurred lines. I think it's different.

Where do you stand on this then? Good friend of mine, Jess has said my, in inverted comments, chicken schnitties are a recipe from my ex. I've claimed it as my own. Everyone asks me for the recipe all the time. I pretend he never existed and that the secret ingredient was my own invention. No, she's like straight to jail. If we're talking secret ingredients.

Yeah, that's bad. So we're working on a cookbook. Stand by for that. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, wait at 7 and 8 o'clock for $10,000, Jess. It's as easy as that. So simple.

30 seconds, 10 questions, one letter. You get them all right, get $10,000. Which isn't not easy. I should have said it's as simple as that. Yeah, it's simple. It's not easy. But that timer can get under your skin. But Jess, I know when we ask for cool customers, you went, well, that's me.

You're 100%. Nothing's going to rattle me, not some silly timer. Is that right? Yes, that's correct. Excellent. What are you going to spend 10 grand on when you're winning in about 30 seconds? I think I'd just like to go to the shops and just buy whatever. Good on you.

I don't have to worry about the price tax. Oh, that's the dream, Jess, to just walk into a shop and not have to filter through all the garments and flicking the tag around going, whoop, no thanks, whoop. Or God forbid, you don't look. You take it into the change room, fall in love with it, and then you look at the price. Forget about it.

All righty. Well, we're going to get Jess to the shops. Absolutely. The letter you're going to work with my girl, it's A. A for Alfa box. A for Alphabet. Top of the Alphabet. Are you ready to go?

Yes, I'm ready. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter A, we need you to name. A fruit. Apple. An adjective. Acting. Something in the bedroom.

Uh, pass. A female singer. Adele. A tool. Um, a pass. An animal. A ant. A cereal.

Pass. A school subject. Algebra. A cleaning brand. Oh, God, that was terrible. Drap. It wasn't zero. Wasn't bad.

I heard Apple. Really wasn't too bad. No, it wasn't too bad. Some toughies. I felt like it was terrible. An adjective. No, you said a verb down. I would never know.

I'd never know, Jess. I'd never know. N-G's a verb. We were looking for a describing word. What about Amazing? Amazing's the describing word. But you're right, it has I-N-G, well. Something in the bedroom you could have had alarm clock, air conditioner.

Oh, yeah. Tool, axe, angle grinder. Serial, Allbrand. It's a tough game, Jess. It's a tough game. Jess, sorry, no shopping spree on your mates, Jess and Rowland. But thank you so much for joining the show. That's all right.

Thank you so much. Have a beautiful day. Thank you. You too. Eight o'clock. You know the deal. 30 seconds. Ten questions, one lady.

You get them all right, $10,000. Can I give everyone a challenge? If you come across people today where you're in a situation, where you could say, have a good day. Do a Jess. Have a beautiful day. That was nice. Have a beautiful day.

I like that. lot. Do you know what your partner does for work exactly? If you don't, could win a great prize. Could win a great prize. We're going to take your calls next. You're going to Harry Styles. Jess and Rowan, good morning.

This is Jess and Rowan. Babs, we have a job for you. And it is extremely self-serving on my behalf. Can you get out of the quickie man? And can you get me a bottle of pineapple juice? Babs, I've just bet him a huge $5 that they will not have a bottle of pineapple juice. Where do you want me to go?

Quickie mart. That's the quickie mat, but me it for Rowie. Okay. I didn't care for that. Yeah, that was great. That's the last time you'll ever do that. For Wauie. Oh, you're yucky.

Help me, help me. Yucky. Help Rowy. That's better. It's getting worse. It's getting worse. You can't send Babs. I need her to man the phones.

To woman the phones. To woman the phones. You're saying all women are help. Well, the phrase is man the phones. Let's go. No, I think I was doing a good thing there. Why is the phrase man the phone? You could them the phones.

A woman could do a way better job. You could they the phones. I need her to they the phones. Can you just know? Just wait. I'll do what Babs go now. Are you joking? What are we doing on it?

Give her your card. You go and do it. I can go do it. I can't do it. I'm pressing the buttons, mate. My name's on the show. I think she's talking to me. Oh, yeah.

She's arguing. You want me to go. I have $10. Careful. Save one of those fives because you'll need to me when they don't have pineapple juice. Whatie, Jasmine. So is one of us going?

Not yet. Hello. Excuse me. A little bit of professionalism, please. You were all for this idea before we went on air. Yeah, in the ad break. The mics are on. I was also surprised we brought it up on air.

Thank you, Chai Guy. I'm for it. I just wasn't prepared. Wow, bully. Bullie the guy whose voice doesn't work. Bully the guy who's trying to send the help to the Quikkimarch. Well, I didn't call them the help. Yeah, that's so rude.

Just. Stay out there and sit on the phone. And you stay there on Mike and contribute to this conversation. I've got an idea. We'll Uber eats it. Let's Uber eats pineapple juice. From across the road. Can we Uber eat the pineapple juice?

They're not going to have pineapple juice, shy guy. Yeah, they will. Straight pineapple or like orange mango and pineapple. They might have a tin. Yeah, that's fine. You can drink the juice. Oh, well, that's different. You've got to get rid of that, man.

It's really upsetting. What's that? Just how it cuts off. Doogie. Because we're doing everything on air in this break. Can you extend that bed, please? Thank you. I'm not having the conversation here because you've absolutely derailed it.

It's important. What conversation? Now I'm lost. Now you've lost me. We're going to come back. Oh yeah. With what? Oh yeah.

Sorry, I'm losing my mind, guys. Do you need to go completely? No, no, no, no. Also, sorry, what's with the pineapple juice? It, what it'll do? It soothes the vocal cords. Pineapple? Yeah.

It's an old musical theatre trick. But you've just had it. a cup of tea. Wouldn't that soothe? That's what I thought. Didn't work. I actually think it might have made it worse. That's what we need.

Don't worry about what I was going to ask. 04-8-8-18-1069. Are you a singer? Are you a performer? Mm-hmm. One is pineapple juice a thing? Yes, it is. Definitely.

It's like temporary relief. It's not like a... Like a soothers. It's like a really good sootheses. Is it like a lousin? Yes. Um, yeah. It says it can make it worse.

What? Because it contains an ingredient called... Pineapple juice? Bromoline? I'm saying that wrong. Back yourself? It's an enzyme... Pineapple juice?

You're saying pineapple juice we're talking about here. Yeah. It may reduce throat inflammation. I don't know. But it's highly acidic. It could not work. Like I said, the pineapple juice... Do you want to take the risk?

He's saying it could make it worse. It just is to coat it to help it for a bit. Why don't you get a lozange? Oh, yeah, we've got Difflam. Yeah, we've got Difflam. A Difflam lozance. Yeah. Here you go.

I just happen to have some. Are you joking? How did you just... Do you have a sore throat too? No, magic. Okay. Rowan, we need a complete reset. Have a lozange.

Punch to the ads. We'll come back. Get this train back on the tracks. Now? Now. This is Jess and Rowan. We will do shy guy dips. He's got a packet of lollies in studio.

Yeah. Because he was prepared, unlike you, unprepared, with this shocking, quite sexy husky voice. you're rocking today. Thank you so much. You have sent the help, aka Barbara. So sorry if you want to call and contribute to the program,

as we so often beg you to do. Babs is not out there. She's at the Quiky Mart trying to buy pineapple juice because Rowan the diva has gone, I'll need it to lubricate me throat. Shogar could be at the calls, getting the calls if you want it. He is multi-tal.

He can't dip and pick up the calls. That's too much for the young man. Yeah, that's true. Anyway, there's other business to attend even in Babs' absence. Yeah. Just like the viral trend that's revealing men are creating secret manuals on their partners. It's amazing. There is a...

Not so secret now, is it? No, absolutely not. Social media creator Jessica Kirk shared an unexpectedly wholesome secret that's gone viral on this room. Mm-hmm. About her partner doing notes, the Notes app and making notes about her and what she needs. Oh, so she mentions something. God, you know, I could do with another pair of clogs. And he writes it down.

When her birthday is coming around, she has expressed interest in clogs. She put out a post asking if guys just really did this or if he was just going to kind of by himself. So did she go through his phone or something and see that? Or did he reveal it? Do we know how she came across the manual? She found a, yeah, she found in the notes that said about Raven. And it looked like it's...

Oh. He's got all the stuff there she likes. Maybe that's a nickname for her or something. He doesn't like chocolate but likes white chocolate. The favourite restaurant is Betty Hanna. And she reads over two books a month. Oh my God. This is wonderful.

Strikes me, he's a bit dumb. He doesn't just know that it'll be his missus. That's fair. He's written it down there because he remembered if you write it down. White chocolate, Benny Hanna and two books a month. He should be able to remember that. He didn't need to even look at the piece of paper to refresh that. That's fair, Rowan.

But, hey, I think the intention is lovely there. Because from that, from that, we could get really specific. I've got a full list of press. presence that friends, family, Angus in particular, have mentioned off the cuff. I'm not going to remember that nine months later. I've got a list for Shy Guy. I've got a start one for you. Start one for me.

Thank you. Thank you. Shy Guy says frozen peas. He likes a frozen pea and twigs. Makes sense. Another bloke section was called Facts about her. And what's that like? Essentially likes picnics, dance and candlelit.

Look, I actually don't think this is explaining men in a good stead at all. Okay, that one was a little generic. My girlfriend, my picnics and dancing. Yeah, man, take what you can get. It must be hard. I do feel for the women. Not all of us can be perfect. What about, like, shoe size.

What's Lucy, your girlfriend's shoe size, Rowan? She is a, this is one I understand. She's a UK 7. Oh, Jesus. What does that mean? That's very good. So I have to go in and go, oh, you need them. If it's right, it's correct.

He could be talking out of his absolute butt here. All right. What's her favourite? Chocolate bar. She loves the Lint 95. Oh, jeez. What's another hard question? Where's her dream holiday destination?

Probably Vanuatu, probably. Okay, you do that. Fiji kind of thing. She doesn't want to go anywhere. What's her bra size? Would you ever buy her lingerie? No, never. I wouldn't even think to even try.

Because that's more of a gift for you. Totally. Okay, you've got a great memory. She'd just be like, she would just be like, why are you buying this for me? I bought myself. Because I'd, or she'd be like, can you give me like $100 and I'll go buy myself, stuff, thanks. She wouldn't do that.

It could be a surprise. But she would just, she wouldn't probably do that anyway. I appreciate your saying you would have all this and you clearly do have it in your memory. But if that would, and it's not just men, women could do this for their partner. I do feel bad for women. I honestly can't tell you, Anger's a shoe sores. It's probably a 10. It's probably a 10.

But I don't want to now give him a pair of shoes that are too big. What about his undies? Medium. Well, it depends the brand because I bought him a pair of bamboos. Medium. By the way, ladies, men, oh my God, I get real passionate about this. Men only like the normal bonzies. Although he loves like, the normal, do not buy.

Like, seamless bambooies must be nice for women. Do not buy them for men. That's exactly what I got him, seamless bamboo. Because that's what I love. I only have one pair in my underwear. Women think, oh, it feels nice around me. Must be nice for them. Don't you want your boys to breathe?

It's their worst because there's no seams. There's no structure. There's no structure for the other world to sit. Your boys need a house. Your boys need a house. See, let me write this in the manual. Just remember it, bro. Like just remember.

I'm not. I'm going to go buy more bamboos. This is Jess and Rowan. Australia's favorite radio game. Oh my God. You dip me. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm ahead.

Shy guy dips. Yeah, shy guy be dipping. We've dipped biscuits. Serial. We've sipped and we've licked. Yeah. For 2026, we're dipping lollies. Lollie dipper.

Last week, we had a hell of a bag. Peaches and cream. Oh, that's a killer bag to start with, by the way, Shogger. Amazing. He has come out of the gates. Strong. But as this game works, 13, 1060, your first clue. Because if you can decipher what the lolly is today, not only do you win the glory.

Yep. You also win a bag of said lolly. Amazing. Amazing. Yep. And a little personalised note from Jess. Yeah, Jess writes on it. Absolutely.

I'll sign your name. Do you kiss it? Absolutely. Well, I imbibe it. Nah, COVID kind of ruined that. But I imbibe it. Not anymore. You can do it now.

You can do it now. You can kiss the bag now. Well, I'll make sure I ask. Kiss or kissless. What was the clue? Did I just miss that? Have you said it yet? No, we haven't done it yet.

Okay, right, yes. He's drunk off pineapple juice. Babbs pulled through, by the way. Thank you, Babs, by the way. Yes, the help did the help. Seven shows in, and Deva Rowan sent Babs. It's for the good... I'm going to kill this.

Don't. That's a two-liter jug of pineapple juice. Be very careful. Yeah, but look at the condensation. You might slip it. I don't look at. like that you're over the buttons. I'm not over the buttons.

I'm over the carpet. Okay, that's okay. All right, your first clue. Oh, yes, yes. Shagai dips, 2026. Colorful. I'm going to go colourful. Awful, awful, awful, awful.

He was about to say something about the bad color. So colourful is better. Good one, smart. Colorful's better. 131060. First caller does get a supplementary clue. Yes. There's only been one person in history to get it on first clue.

Let's see what happens today. Jess and Rowan, take calls next. This is Jess and Rowan. We will do Alphabucks again at 8 o'clock. Do not stress. There is more money to be worth. Make your holiday next level with Royal Caribbean. From weekend getaways to South Pacific Family Adventures.

Wrong. Wrong. How's that pineapple juice working out for you, brother? I need some of my brain now, I don't know. Try that again. We're going to need a red bull or monster. I did say that. I did say.

Went in down, get a monster. Australia's speech. The favorite radio game. Oh my God. Oh my God, my God, I'm at home. Shy Guy Dips. The disrespect you are showing shy guy dips is unacceptable, Rowan. This game is older than you.

Guys, guys. Respect your elders. Guys, guys. I can't even see straight. Shocker, you might need to jump on the buttons. I can't even see straight. No, no. Don't touch his button.

We are all in this together. All right, Troy from High School Musical. All this. Together. Once we know who we are. Are we going to get on with the game, Jess? I'm going to go. 13-1060. It's Shagai dips. You've heard the first clue. It is colourful. Sean, good morning to you.

Good night. How are we? Yeah, it could be better, babe. We be dipping. And what is at stake is a bag of lollies. You get a supplementary clue being the first caller. Shy guy, take it away. Yeah. Lemon, raspberry, black, current, orange and lime. All flavours in this packet. Just give him the lollies, why don't you?

Are you kidding me? Sean. What is it? Sean. I'm sick and something, but I don't know if that is now. Sean. Quick. No, I don't know.

Nothing. Nothing. Not Skittles. Sorry, Sean. Not Skittles. Not Skittles. And you know what? It's kind of a public service.

Even if the clue throws you, chuck one out. Chuck one out. Because it actually helps everyone else. I want to do a public service. Definitely. Good friend of the show, Robbie. Good morning. Morning.

Yo, yo, yo, yo. Babe, we've heard it's colourful. There was a bunch of flavours rattled off there. You get another clue. Three words. Oh. Put it all together, Rob. Life saver.

No. Oh, what are they called? Maybe she doesn't know, mate. Yummy lollies. Yeah. Thank you, Brom. Robbie, what did I say? At least get a clue out.

At least you got to go out. To help the others, 13, 10, 60. Geez. Kylie, good morning. Hey, Carly. Hi, how are you? Good, babe. They are not lifesaver yummy lollies.

They are not skittles. You get another clue, though, to put it all together. Yeah, Kylie, the packet's predominantly yellow. Predominantly. Kylie. Oh. Oh, dear. What do you reckon?

Is it snakes? He said three words, babe. Is it Starburst? He said three words. He said three words. Nice strike. Highly, no, thank you. But you've knocked out,

I'm going to say you knocked out Starburst and Snakes. I mean, there's a lot of... And we've knocked out Skittles and Lifesavers. Yes. 13, 1060. Toughy this week, shy guy. I thought it was, when you rattled off all the flavors. Yeah, I thought that was a good one.

Mick, good morning. How are you? Darling, Mick. We're trying to give you lollies. We couldn't be better. We have heard colourful. Rattle off those flavours again, please, should I go? Absolutely, Jess.

Lemon, raspberry, blackcurrant, orange and lime. The bag is predominantly yellow. Another clue for Mick. Another clue, Mick. Sour then sweet is the tag on. Oh. Sour then sweet. Mick, what are they?

I'm going. That's how I'll guess out. Is it lolly gobble blitz bomb? That might be four words, Mick. I wish it was Nick actually. I've never heard of a lolly cobble. What's that? Lolycobble, piss bomb.

They sound fantastic. Bliss bomb. Can they be next week, please, Shagga? I'm going to give a supplementary. I'm going to give a supplementary clue to James because I like your energy. Gai, James. Good morning, James. Before you get your next clue from Shai guy, I'm going to tell you.

You know how he said it's three words? Yep. Well, then he said sour then sweet. Sour is one of the two. the words. James, what's your clue? Shai go, what's your clue for James? Yeah, my clue for James.

They're about two and a half centimetres, maybe a bit less. These lollies individually. What are they, James? Sour Patch Kids. Oh my God, he's done it. Yes, James. You didn't even need my help, did you?

You knew. Yeah. Good. You take all that credit. A bag of Sour Patch Kids coming your way. Do you enjoy a little sour kitty? Yeah, I've got three young kids, too, they love them. So you're sharing with the family.

Kids, Keen, getting to them now, mate. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Hell yes. One letter, 10 questions, 30 seconds to win $10,000. That is alpha bucks. Nikita, good morning. Good morning.

We deposit $10,000 in your bank account. What are you doing with it? I am taking my little girl on a holiday. Hell yeah. Spend up big. Love that. What about you? What about mum?

What's mum spending? Yeah. Oh, I don't know what mum wants. Little ones. Well, she's not so little. She's just started high school. So what to treat her. I love this for you.

Where could you go? Maybe the Maldives. Nikita. What about Mauritius? What about? Melbourne. Melbourne. Good shopping in Melbourne.

Yes. All those destinations start with the letter M, Nikita, and that is what you'll be working with. All righty. Okay, time will start after the first question. Are you ready to rock and roll? I think I am. Good girl.

Starting with the letter M, Nikita. We need you to name. A fruit. Mango. An Aussie singer. Martha Heinz. A musical. Mamma Mia.

A sweet treat. Marshallows. An adjective. An occupation Midwife A periodic element Magnesium An animated film

A cereal Damn, girl There's some motion there, Jess That was really good So you got No, not quite No, we didn't get through all 10 And I've just got a question mark on Aussie singer

I don't know if Marsh is Ozzy I think she's American Have I made that up? That's a, I didn't, I said yes. I often, I often claim everyone to be Australian. I just have a question mark on Marsha. I want to triple check. I should have that one out.

You could have Missy Higgins. Absolutely. Matt Corby, who I love. Yes. And Babs, who is our adverb advocate, Madly is an adverb, my darling, not an adjective. Could have messy, could have magnificent. Yes, you could have.

Do we have an answer on Marsha? Marsha's American born. Yeah. But I think... But I think Denny was born here. Yes. Yeah, her daughter. Anyway, Nakeda, it's a moot point.

Five. Good. Still good. And some great answers. You can hold your head up high. Thank you for joining the show this Merry Wednesday. No worry. Thanks for having me.

Thank you, Gorge. Any time. Back again tomorrow. $10,000 at 7 and at 8 o'clock. Rowan, we've been on air for two hours and I've had to leash my tongue. Because I'm desperate to talk about this 13. year old Aussie kid in P-U. We need to celebrate him next.

Jess and Rowan, morning. This is Jess and Rowan. This is the most incredible story coming out of the West Coast of Australia. Oh, yeah. People are already saying, shut the nominees for the next Australian of the year. We just awarded those, obviously. We have found the next one. Granted, he would probably qualify in Ned Brockman's category.

Young Australian of the year. This is a name I want everyone to know. Austin Appleby. He is a year nine student. He's 13 years old, Rowan. It's amazing. This story is unbelievable. He's holidaying with his mum and his younger siblings, younger brother and younger sister.

12 and 8, the kids are. Austin's 13. They are holidaying off the coast of W.A. Where they think it's a beautiful morning. Let's take an inflatable kayak and some. paddle boards out for a bit of time on the water. It's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea.

Lovely they. Hundreds, thousands of people would be doing this. Unfortunately, conditions change. The family gets swept basically out to sea. The kayak starts taking on water rowing. Oh, now it's not such a good idea, is it? Exactly. Austin and the family, obviously, mum Joanne, they start panicking.

We are in the middle of the frickin' ocean. Oh my God. What are we going to do? Joanne has to make the decision. This is Mum Joanne. One of us is going to have to try and swim to safety. Either swim to shore or try and flag down a vessel because no one is around us at the moment. And no one knows we're gone.

Yeah, right. So no one's looking for us. Of course. Austin at 13 years old says, Mum, you stay with Bow and Grace. I will swim. Weapon. What a weapon.

So first he starts on the paddleboard and he starts paddling. But he's fight in the ocean. He ditches the paddle board. It's him in a life jacket. He realizes the life jacket is kind of taken on water. It's holding him back. It's pushing him backwards. He ditches the life jacket.

Oh, my gosh. And swims Rowan for four kilometers. Four kilometers. What's a super triathlon? Like, what's that ultramarathon? I don't think there's it. What's an ultra, what's the ultra-tripe? Like, you know, those ultra-long.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I've got an out of a chair. It is unbelievable. Superhuman swim, people are calling it online. Absolutely. It's incredible. He is doing survival backstroke, breaststroke and freestyle for two hours.

That's amazing. He did what he could to occupy his mind with happy thoughts. He's obviously been talking to media, Channel 7 over in Perth. He finally comes across. where is he? He gets to the sand from where they set off. Toby's Inlet.

It's a place called Toby's Inlet. He says his legs collapse. He quickly springs into action. Runs to a hotel. Uses his mum's phone to call Triple Zero. He's able to give a description of the vessels that he's left his family on, the kayak and the other paddle board.

Yeah, of course, yes. So obviously choppers, boats, marine rescue. They get them all back. Joanne, Grace, boat. They get them back to shore. This is. Austin talking to Channel 7. I was really scared.

I was just thinking, I was just thinking in my head, like thinking I was going to make it through. I was also thinking about all my friends at school and friends at my Christian youth. Yeah, I just said, all right, not today, not today, not today. I have to keep on going. When the need is great, I was going to say the devil will drive,

but it doesn't sound like he sports the devil. No, no, no, Christian. That's the same. That's not his saying. His little brother, Bo, the 12-year-old, talks to the media, Rowan. How's this? He goes, I'm so proud of him. He saved our lives.

He normally struggles doing 350 metres. So doing 4K is impressive. Wow. And I couldn't be more proud of my big brother. Now, Austin's dad, obviously, starts speaking to the rescue crew, wants to thank everyone. And one of the rescuers goes, cheese, your boy must be a strong swimmer.

And the dad reveals they just finished Vassons. Swim. Is that like a school subject over in Perth? It's a thing with the Department of Education for W.A. It's a swimming program for five to 17 year old. Okay, so Austin did this swimming program and the dad goes, he failed Vak Swim. So how the hell did he do four guys? He shouldn't have to be tested again. The Marine Rescuer goes, tell the teachers to call me because I can back up what the distance.

He has just swam. How would you ever thank your teenager? I don't know if you can. You can. You could, but how can you? I don't know. He has saved. Joanne is speechless.

Absolutely. I bet. She is, in all the vision, she is clinging to her children. Can you imagine that? Looking at your 13-year-old going, go, son. Yeah. Like, I believe in you. And she did say that to the media. I knew he could do it. I knew in him was the love and the passion to help us. You just have to do it.

Four kilometers swim. Wow. Today we give the Jess and Rowland gold medal to Austin Appleby. To the great man. To the great man. But what we thought we could do. Silver medal, maybe. Could do silver.

If we're doing gold, maybe there's some silvers we can give. So you're not going to win gold. You're not going to win gold today. There's nothing. There's nothing that's usurping. If you think you've got a child that's done something better than that, I would also love to hear from you. We would like to celebrate teenagers today because I think they get a bad rap in the modern day.

Yeah, thank you teenager for something they do. 13, 10, 60, have you got a mighty teen? Yeah. Or just like a pretty good one. Yeah. Because if Austin is the gold, maybe your kid managed to put, you know, his dirty clothes in the washing basket yesterday. I don't complain when you tell him to go to.

down the shops and get fishing chips and they come back with an extra banana cake. Maybe something like that because we understand the gap now from Austin's level. It's going to be hard to match. This is Jess and Rowan. Right now there's a name we want you to all know and remember. Shy guy. Also Austin, Appleby. Oh, him as well, yes, of course.

13 year old kid holidaying off the coast of WA with his mum, little sisters. they decide to take an inflatable kayak and some paddle boards out for a nice morning. Unfortunately, things turned a little south. Austin had to swim four kilometres back to shore, took him two hours, to call for help, rescue choppers, boats, they go out, they rescue Mum, Joanne and his little brother and sister. Everyone is okay. Yep. But he has received the Jess and Rowan gold medal for a Wednesday.

Amen, he has. He is unbelievable. And this is a kid who failed like a swim component at a WA school. That's unbelievable. Vak swim, it's called. And his dad's telling everyone, he failed Vak Swim. And yet when push came to shove, Swam 4K. Good friend of the show, Amy has DM'd us.

An Iron Man swim triath, like the component of the triathlon, 3.8K. Yeah, that's what I thought. You know what I'm saying? Iron Man. Iron Man. He's 13. He's got our gold medal. Forget those jacked up blokes on Nutragan and the crop tops.

Put him on it. Amen. Can we do it? Amen. Can we do all the Kellogg's or something? Enough of these like super jacked, awesome, chiseled, gorgeous. Because I would argue those guys and girls. The jeopardy.

Yeah, it's hard. It's open ocean, swim. The jeopardy of your mum and little brother and sister. No. That's unbelievable. Put him on the new chagrain. The West Coast Eagles, his favorite AFL team have reached out. He's scored an invite to meet them.

Good. But he's also got the Jess and. on gold medal. Yeah, it's more important. Which begs the question, can we give us silver today? Love to. Is there another team who often get a bad rap? Do you want to thank your teenager?

It's a thankless job being a teenager. It's a thankless job. Lena got in touch 048-8-18-1069. We recently forced my 14-year-old to start contributing to weekly family dinners. She's got a night to cook. This week was the first time she did not set off the smoke alarm. Hashtag silver medal. Thank you. Thank you, Lena.

This is exactly what I was talking about. This is what I want. Thank him. Beck. Not particularly backhanded compliments, but thank him. But I want the context. Yeah. Because if she just said my kid didn't set off the smoke alarm, I'd be like, what?

Yeah, it's worth it. If she's done it for a year and now has managed to not burn the chicken. Well done, Lena. Well done, Lena's kid. Beck, good morning. Good morning, guys. Look, we've got a silver medal to give, because let's be real. Austin Applebee has got the gold clear as day.

He's amazing. He's amazing. But what's your teenager doing? I have a tween. She's 10. She acts like a teenager. She's got the sass for her. All do, yeah.

But this girl has been mowing our lawn since she was seven. You got a seven-year-old mowing your lawns? Heck yeah. Heck, yeah. Contribute to the household. She does it. But absolutely, they have chores. And one of her chores is to mow the front lawn, and she's been doing it.

And how's her edges? Well, the big brother does the edges. Oh, okay. Half it doesn't do the full job. Half a job is what my mum would. call that. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan.

Jess. You know Angus Harper, my dear, darling, dashing husband. Quite well. Gorgeous, man. You are one of the people I joke about that I was, you were my friend first. Facts. But in a very, very common occurrence, you met Gussie and now you like him better than me. Well, it was a very circumstantial friendship because let's be honest, he likes all the same shit I like.

That's true. And he owns a nightclub. Hello. We're homies. Makes sense. Everyone who meets Angus Shagga, I think you're my last remaining. You like me better than Angus friend. I just haven't hung out with him.

You just don't hang out with him. Exactly. That's exactly what I was like. Bab, you're never allowed to hang out with Angus. I need someone who likes me more than my husband. I like you more. Heaps more. Really?

Yeah. But you just, you get along with him so well. You talk all the time. Every time Angus is on the phone, I go, who was that? You go, Roald. I'm like, Rowl never calls me. No, I love your husband. Yeah, he's awesome.

And yet, could be better. Here we go. And I have such respect for him because I think... All right, all right. We get it. He's great. And he does keep our lives moving forward. But there's one thing I have critiqued him on recently.

Only one? Just the one I want to talk about. Okay, yeah. Okay. There is a bit of a... Oh, it's not a joke. It's actually quite the phenomenon that has been articulated on social media by a lot of female creators, particularly mums.

talking about I always take candid photos and video of my partner with the kids. I saw one yesterday. But I have nothing of me from him. So it's always the woman thinking this is sweet. I'll capture it. So dad has these amazing catalogue of him playing, being silly, even just walking down the street, a beautiful catalogue of candid moments with the kids. I already have my answer to the question you have not put up yet.

I already have the answer. But moms rarely get it. And maybe you could argue, oh, dad's just in the moment. He's not thinking about pulling out his phone when mum's having sweet time. But I said to Gussie, I have got so few candidates. With Lucia, our two-year-old, could you be better at whipping out your phone, please? It's always in your freaking hand. Don't act like it's not.

Can't you just hit record? He was like, of course, of course. So we went for a walk the other day. Took the dog, took the baby. Yeah. I got some cute vision of him running with Lucia. Near my joint, yes. Ah, yes, that's right.

I was going to text you. I thought, nah, it's family time. Family time. I don't want Uncle Rowan here. I would have been the favourite. That was just saying not me. But as we're walking along this beautiful path, there was that, you know, the free council gym equipment?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes in just beautiful parks or just on the side of a footpath, there's like a little bike thing. Some, some, yeah. There was one little thingy, spiral thing you can do for shoulder mobility, apparently. There was an elliptical. Now, if you're unfamiliar with the elliptical, it's almost like you're on skis suspended in the air

and you get the arms pumping opposite time to the legs pumping. Lucia saw that and went, I want to have a go. Yeah. So I was like, well, Mummy will help you. Oh, yeah. I feel it's going. So Mummy's on one side of it. Lucia's on the other side of it.

Mummy does one little rotation. Mummy's not good at the elliptical. Mummy falls down. Look up. Angus is filming. And I said, listen, When the first candid, you've got to get me looking like a baby giraffe on ice skates, he's like, you wanted more candids.

Be better candidly then. Be more candidly, then. Well, be better just in your natural life if you want me to capture. Here's what I think. Talk to me. I think women are much more critical at how the photos are taken and their angles and their looks. Exactly like this. Like remember when I put up a few photos of...

Maddie and you and other, and Madi said, I don't look like this. And you're like, oh, why am I 19? I'm at Lucy's like, you're like, I'm last. So all this complaining and complaining and complaining and complaining. See, she's about to do it now as I'm talking about it. Complying, complain, complain. Where you guys take the photos, we go, that's awesome. Thank you, babe, love that.

It's not my fault. Angus is so naturally handsome. Help me be better. Just say, don't fall off the elliptical, you idiot. Help me. He's literally doing exactly as you told him. You were the clots. Yeah, but he... You could have picked better as well.

I know it was candid, but I was looking like... Are you hearing this? You're hearing this? I want to stay out of it. It was literally a great, candid video of the first time we were in the studio together, and you got a problem with it being at some point in the 20s. I read you to stand on that. He posted a 20 picture carousel.

Yeah. I was 16. Who cares, dude? Maddie. I wasn't counting the slide numbers. I think I was eight or something. Oh, you know that. You were third.

Oh, no. You knew that you were third. Maddie was second with her sweet, darling, beautiful child. She was like, oh, how dare you, I look like that? You're a mother caring for a child. It's not a problem. It's not what I'm thinking about. Maddie is a gorgeous woman.

So you're saying she didn't look gorgeous caring for her child. That's what I'm saying. This is why we cannot take candid photos of the ladies because it always is someone. So you know what you do? You withdraw and just don't do it. This is why. Be better.

You don't blame the model. You blame the photographer, videographer. You blame the model because the good one's good at it. You blame the model. But who's the photographer blaming? No one because they're perfect. Well. Just be better, boys.

No. This is Jess and Rowan. I want to ask you something about a actual special treat that you and I both love. Talk to me. I love a special treat. Is it a macadamia chalky shortbread? No. It is not.

It is a donut. It is, in fact, a very particular donut. And you may be familiar with these. They may have them wherever you are. They're called gluten-free donuts. They're big green van. G-free. G-free donuts.

They are magnificent. Unbelievable donuts. This is not sponsored. But if you would like to send us a family or the cousins even. The celebration is 100% of that one. So listen, that might be too. That might actually be too many. I'm telling you guys, these are the greatest donuts.

And they are divine. I've never had a bad. one they're hot steamy crispy beautiful and that's the thing isn't it rowan they've got the shack the tent what do you call it the marquee at the farmers market sometimes we go the farmer's market is there a greater joy in life than a sunday you've just bought your farm fresh as a keeney and iceberg lettuce and then you get yourself a donut out of the friar got one the other day at like a shopping centre that a little one of those old yeah they got some pop-ups pop-ups so they're doing well the g-free and they deserve to ordered five not just for me what's that is that

the family that's the family not just for me but i've noticed some You didn't need to clarify. Well, maybe you did. Mike, strike around in the shop the moment I needed clarify it. Ordered five, open the box, and I've come to expect an extra one. Oh, hang on a minute. Your repertoire with this business is... No, no, no, no, no, no.

Just, I've been to markets. I've been to different ones popped up, and they normally drop you out another one. So not because you're Rowan. No, no, no, I think it's just that they... This is nice. But I want to know, is this a business place? Is this a business ploy? They're like, let's just chuck them in other ones.

They come back. But here's my problem. I have been before and I've got the normal amount. You ordered five and I got five. So let me get this straight. Is that 16, 17 year old, liking the vibe giving me another donut or they think stuff this bloke, he just gets the normal amount he paid for?

So you had too many, too many in a row where you got a cheeky one. Every time of the market. Every time of the market. When we go and we go, oh, look, Why don't we just get, we'll get the 10 and we'll share them. Be honest, because you're a hot and cold kind of guy. Were you rude? I am the same every time.

I don't believe you. No, because I'm excited. These are G-free donuts. You're kidding? I'd tell you if I'm rude sometimes. I am. But not to these guys. And you're not going to be in a bad mood when you're ordering donuts.

You can smell them. You're waiting for them. So what the hell? But it could be personal. You're right. What the hell? This particular donut slinger has sized you up and gone, no. There's something off about the vibe.

So Lucy and I got, we got one. And it didn't, it had the normal amount. Who ordered you? Because Lucy would be getting, she'd be getting extras. I think I ordered, right? Yeah, yeah. And then I opened it up, same amount, and I went, damn it! And Lucy went, let's pay for it, it's fine.

I said, that's fine. We went to do the shopping the next day. Saw another one, I was like, we have to test this. Have to. So then I got it. It would be remiss of us. Got five again. This like, I don't know, 17, 18 year old dude looked like a mat.

Had a mat vibe. The most generic white boy name. Ordered three, got four. So what is going on? Matt was a fan. I would love to get in touch with the owner of G-free. No, no. Is this a bit of a ploy?

Because it's a smart one. Have you just gotten everyone in trouble? Shit. Maybe it's not a thing. And these people are just trying to be cute. Maybe they're having a bit of a tough day. They're trying to spread joy. And now you've just outed them for giving away free product.

It's tough out there, Rowan. I don't know if you should have outed this. I have any question. Oh, welcome to the show show, Shryga. Thanks. What time of the day is this? This is kind of what I was thinking as well. But they make them all fresh. Why do you think they're trying to get rid of them?

Well, they might have one spare because they might have made six. Someone ordered three. Someone ordered two. Yeah. Got a little batch. If you go to Christmas cream, they're all the same heat. No, no, no. If you go to Christopher Cream after six or a dozen, they'll usually give you another box for like 50 cents.

Oh, because they're trying to get rid of the stock. Can we not talk about the competition here, please? We're talking about G-free, don't know? He's also shy guy. I love it to be. I love it to be. And then half an hour later, I will go and order a three. Yeah.

And we will see. Let's do that. That's a great idea. And then Babs, because Babs will probably get a lot. Come on, 10. Should be like, I need 10. No, that's not, that's not shaming. That's like, I believe.

No, because she'll get more. She'll get 12. And then we can all eat them. It's not. I think I might eat them more. I'll pay, babe. It's fine. Okay, then yeah.

Sure. Get 20, Babs. Yeah. 20. I'm excited. We're going to test this. All right, let's test this. This is a good one.

Any excuse to extend a couple of doughies. Where is the love in a box of donuts? Am I wrong? This is Jess and Rowan. You guys got a phone up showing Tygui something. Is it appropriate? I missed the DM. Oh, what was it?

From KFC. What? I know. Mate, check your requests. I feel so bad. What did they set? Can you say? Show me, show me, show me, show me.

Don't read it out. Show me. So earlier this week, we had Comedi, good friend of the show, who has stumbled upon the new KFC jingle. Oh my God. Do you want to say what they say? Did you say the last message at least?

Just give him the last message. Do you have any contact details? We want to get something sorted. We could have cut ourselves into this big deal that he wants to go to Europe on. A finger-licken surprise while he's with you guys. He's welcome, by the way. Listen, man, I've got a lot of my play. I can't be doing all of this on my own.

Oh my God. They could have DM'd me. Shit. Sorry, case. Get down. This is a. sick bed, by the line. No one, no one cares.

No one cares. Stop using technical lingo. Anyway, hell of a show. I have to punch out after this. Woo! I'm going to be here tomorrow. I'm on a be here tomorrow because my voice isn't working. Actually, does sound better now that at the start of the show.

He's not accrued any leave. Surely you're not accrued, any sick leave. You've been doing this job for eight days. Yeah, man. I got like at least, you'll probably have three hours. No. I probably have three hours. You'd have 25 minutes, maybe.

I don't want to have the da up. I want to be here with you guys. Well, you sounded very keen on getting boss Jason's opinion on the quality of your voice. Guys, I've had three years away from my passion and my love. I want to be here. And that's why your vocal cords are strange. See what that? 22 minutes of...

22? I was not far off. I'll come in tomorrow. 622. Would you rather come in at 622 or leave at 844? That's a good one. No, I want to be here for the full whack because I'm doing my bit for the community of radio. And we're having a great time doing it. I think such a great time, by the way.

away with you and Shy Guy. Rawan. Virgin Mary. Very good. Isn't that what you call her? Yes. Amongst other names. You know, she was producer hot sausage for a bit.

Would you like to call her that? Oh my God, producer hot sausage? Could we call you that instead? I love that. No. Because if you call her hot sausage, I call her Barbara and Shy Guy calls her Virgin Mary. It sounds like our team is a lot bigger than it is. And see, that's what the CEO would want.

Exactly. As we're minimising, you guys maximise. Hence why I'm in charge of reading and checking the DM. In KFC. I can't believe of all the... I thought if they were verified, they go straight through. They should. I, that's not a thing, shy guy.

Not a thing. Well, it should be. I feel so bad. Well, they did it. I'll reply today. Should I reply and say, he's coming in tomorrow? He's not. Yeah, say it.

And just... Say it. Lie to them. Yeah. Say, They know a sign now. Can you say, can you say we have a really big offer from Red Rooster? No.

And you need to get in with us quick because we will help you get it over the line. Because the Red Rooster is keen to B B B B Buck all over you. Give me your best finger licking good. No, I don't think it'll be this. I don't think this has been nice. Okay.

Should I isolate that? We'll send them. Anyway. We love McDonald's more, though. Of course we do. Sorry. Because they're not being hidden in the DM. We need to go.

We do. It's been a hell of a show. If you missed a minute, our podcast leaves on the listener app. Or wherever you get your pods. Totally. See you later, guys. Bye-bye.