Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Are you well hung?

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

We learn what mogging and maxxing are, we guess how expensive Jess' toilet roll holders and Rohan has a PSA for all coffee drinkersSubscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast. Hell of a Wednesday. Great Wednesday.

Came in slow, guys, and sluggish. Didn't sleep well. I can still feel it on the back of my eyes. Tell you what, though, you were up first. First break of the show was about a surgery. You know, it was medical. It was biological. And I think you drilled it.

Thank you. Wait, fake it till you make it. Leave your shit at the door. And you step up. I was really reading a lot of this. I even thought I might need to get glass. When the big stick turns on, Rowan shows up. We're away.

Same can't be said for your belly. 10 bucks. 10 bucks if you can hear the gurgle at some point during the show. Let's play gurgle bingo. Bingo! There it is. It was more of a, it was a boom. You know what it was like?

It was like a driplet of water hitting a, pond in slow motion and that that's inside my gut, not just the outside of it, like a fat guy. Thanks a lot, everyone. No one assumed that. Stop thinking the worst of everyone. Just you. I've been good. Since I got told to do better,

I've been good. Have you known? Said they do better to you lately? Not lately because I keep, remember the other day you said you referred to yourself as a squawking fatty, but I flipped it and made it about me. See? That was good. Turn the microscope back on J. Farge. Can't be told to do better then. Just so everyone knows.

Jess has been on air in this particular chair for like eight years. Eight years, baby. And everyone's like, she's so perfect, so lovely. She's the girl next door. She's friends with everyone. I started 10 shows in. She got two do better messages. But it's so funny, isn't it?

Because you go. Everyone's like, oh, you guys are still new finding out of each other. But everyone turned around and went, she's being mean to the new guy. I'm not even for 10 fucking years, people. That's the other thing too. People thought she was being mean to me and telling her to do better. This is great. But it's also funny because how's your hate going?

People being nice to you? Oh, they hated me for the first week. It's stop now. It's stop now. I got a mean DM and I fought him in the comment, in my DMs. I got you back, baby. At the start or still happened? Yesterday.

Yesterday? Yeah, I fought him for you. Because I thought it had dissipated as well. No, no, no. I got your back, babe. And what he said was unfair. Mom's got me. I got you.

I fought him. Did you fight him? Yeah. And he left a scene. and in reply. I went, you get back in your box. Yeah, baby. The worm.

Worm! Didn't care for it. I don't understand why people put negative shit out into the universe. Go bitch about us behind our backs like night. In my personal DMs. Not even the show, Rowan. He came to me. Oh.

We don't have to get into it. He came to me to bitch about you and I went, I'm not having it. What are he supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? You know when people bitch about your friends to you? Do you think I'm going to agree with you? Just do better. Do better.

That's what I should have hit him with. Do better. Should have hit him with the do better. I should have hit him with a do-better. Hit him back with three very powerful sentences. Yeah, no, all the hate has mostly stopped. Well, you know why? Because you're brilliant.

Thank you. And they finally worked it out. I've been, actually, but I wondered where it all went. I was like, might, this must be going. No, you've turned him. Nah, it's just gone to you now because they know that I can see the Instagram. Yeah, they realize, oh, he's pulling his way. He's doing some stuff on the social.

Yeah, and then I write back, right-o. Do you ever reply? I've replied sometimes if people are mean about me or about us in previous. iterations. I just send back a picture of myself with a thumbs up. Because people think they're bitching to us, maybe, to shy guy and babs. They don't realize it's coming straight to us. They don't get it? And then they'd crawl back in their boxes, don't they?

I think it's all part of it. I like the people are so passionate. They want to say something. What a wonderful spin. Whereas I go, didn't your mother teach you? Not even trying to be political. I think it's wonderful that they care so much. No, that's lovely.

Whereas I go, your mother didn't raise you right? If you got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. That's fair. Yeah, I think, great, you care. And I always want to say that. I always want to say your mother didn't teach you if you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all, but then I get worried that their mum is ill. He's not recently trolls.

I don't know if it was, I had a feeling that it might have been someone listens to the show, but on their burner account, maybe. Shut up. Okay, so a vague profile. Every video I put up was just like I was an idiot. And I remember just writing like, touch some grass today. Like, are you all right? Were you getting man or woman vibes?

Oh, gross dude vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have they gone away? When you get, those have, yeah. When you get like, when it's like the girls that don't like you, they'll tell you that it's like you to one of their friends on your page. Not some of the ones we got. Well, they'll tag.

Well, they'll, no, but they're tagging you about it. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. I'm right here, baby. Right here. You got someone to say? Say it to his face. He can handle it.

Yeah. I can't. I go on cry about it. But now I'm getting a bit tougher. Yeah. I'm hitting them back with a, that's just rude. You're just used to it. You're getting used to it.

No, I find. And rude. If I call someone rude, wakes them off a little bit. I wrote back to this person. That's just rude and unnecessary. Why would you DM me that? Anyway,

I get shy guy hate awful. Really? I get requests for his own number. I don't get any hate ever. No, there was that one bloke who said, well, why doesn't shy guy just get a voice on the show? Get his name on the show. He wants to be on it so bad.

That's right. Thanks, Dad. Yeah, Dad was having a crack. Sharp, nice one. Nice. We mostly just get comments about Babs being on air more. I know. It's mostly what we get.

How gorgeous these two are. Do you know how many people missed the update with the car salesmen? So many. And we got DMs, texts. What happened with Babs and the car salesman? I'm like, here's the podcast. I was like, am I going to have to go hook up with this car salesman just to get some notoriety? Maybe.

You could try. Is it dangerous to say if you've got a single friend you think would be up Babes's alley? Send him our way? You know what we should do? We should find out who he is and find out what one he works at. And we'll just send a bunch of different chicks over there so then he cheat. and then she breaks out with him

and then we'll get you back in. But then you know he cheats. That's not great. Yeah, you don't want to cheater. No. Absolutely. I need some Babs time now. I'll put myself out there and now I'm reserving back in.

Oh, okay. I was going to argue that, but then I remembered who I'm talking to. He weren't rejected. He had a partner. Yeah, no, but it feels like rejection. Yeah. That's such a chick thing. Let's just assuming dark.

I said maybe he didn't, but he just was being nice. And he actually just... Obviously, I'm joking. He absolutely would. He has a girlfriend. He's a car. But I appreciate that. You should have asked if he cheats and then he would have said yes, because he's a car salesman.

And then you could have told his misses. But then you don't want him. As we said, we don't want him. Then she would have won. It's about winning. Get up a hand. Yeah, but then we're just winning against the partner who has done nothing wrong. You know, she's innocent in all these.

You don't know that. We can find some shit. out on her too. Now what we need is a nice single boy out there between the age of 24 and 28. 46? Is that what you said? 46? No. You know someone messaged after you said your peak

age? Yeah. And she was like, my partner's 17 years older than me. Don't knock an older man to try it. Try an older man. Do you want to try an older man? No. Oh, okay. I'll have you found some older men. You got any single friends? No, none. They're all coupled up. All got chicks, yep. This is where the issue presents. All the good ones are taken.

Just live my love. Except shy guy. Beat your two out. That's weird. That is weird. Anyway, enjoy the show. Let's leave me there. Welcome.

We've gone for Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know Jess? I'm all about Wii Wu methods to help yourself. You'll get to know Rowan. Hot, tawny happy. Yay. It's going to be good.

It's going to be fine. It's going to be online. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is going to be good. Oh, Wednesday.

Humpty morning, Jess. Good morning, Rowan. How are you? I'm not great. Why? I'm bald. Where? I've got my extensions taken out.

And I don't care for it. Struggard, do you think she was talking about what I was talking about? What do you think? You're bald. I went, what do you mean, bald? Oh, do you look south? Kind of. Oh, no, I did that years ago.

Oh, great, that's gone. When laser was first invented. I thought you had laser, so I was like, oh, can't be that. Yeah, triple X, baby. Triple X. What's triple X? What's that mean? You know, like a man would get back sack and crack?

Mm-hmm. Well, it's that for ladies without the back. Oh, well, didn't sort of back. The whole way. Amen. Snoo. I'm like a seal, baby, from my eyelashes down. Aerodynamic.

Amen, you should see me on a bike. The bike? Sure. So we're right here. Like Ariana. You know that film clip? Got me going side to sad. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

In that film clip, that's me. Tell what that means. The side to side because she's bald. No. No. Side to side. I'm lost. I've lost me too.

The analogy I think Ariana is making is like riding a bike. Yeah. Is like an analogy for riding. Writing a man. Something else. Sure. Um, so I have extrapolated that. Into your own.

Into my own. Slippery seal reference. I've inserted myself into that. Okay, enough now. What I wanted to lament with you was that my extensions got taken out and I feel naked without them. Give me a spin. Give me like a. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I see. But look how long my natural hair is. Yeah, it's good. Anyway, I feel weird without them. You know, like, oh, I guess you're not married. Is there any jewelry? You're a chain guy. Whoop guy.

Do you ever forget? to put the whoop on and go, oh, I feel naked. Well, I never take it off. I never take it off. This has been on, Lucy, at this week for Christmas. The chain. I haven't taken it off, yeah. Yeah, see, okay.

Have you ever had to get a scan or an MRI and you had to take off your jewels? And then you go, oh, I feel weird. You know what I'm saying? Is your head normally heavy? Yes, and warm. So I've had the extensions for about 12 months. How do you sleep in them? I do a braid.

Oh. Yeah. But aren't they clipped in? No, they're sewn in. Oh, that's the fancy pants one. They're the posh ones, baby. That's why they look so natural and people freak out when I say I've got extension. Exactly. They became a part of me.

Why did you get rid of them? I just thought, you know, changes as good of a holiday. And because we're broke from the Renault, we ain't going on no holiday for a while. True. But I regret the decision. Anyway, how are you? Do you just put them back in? I could absolutely just put them back in.

How are you? I'd tell you what, this heat, I'm not sleeping. I'm just not like, not sleeping. If you're an air. Aircon company and you'd like a bit of spawn con. Rowan is available for sale. Yeah, well, send a little portable one or something. A little portable one?

Yeah. We could cut a hold out of your rental and you shove an air con in. Totally. Is this a landlord think? Do we need to write a stern email? Yeah, but I don't think, I don't think, I don't think I'm going to be there longer. We're going to be there longer than the time anyway. No, not really.

Don't want to kick up a stink. Who cares? And I think that like... You do, his sleep isn't important. I think, well, totally. But I actually think that they want us. out. I think they want to sweat you out. No, not sweat. Well, funny.

Well done. No, I just, I think they wanted a six-month lease and then no one got it and eventually they went to 12. So that suggested to me that they want to move in afterwards. So when they move in, but they'll pull their corn in. Totally. And that was so easy to be upgrading to fiber for the internet. That was so quick on that. Okay. And I was like, yeah, they just want me to set everything up before they move here. Make it better for them. Yeah. And I'll just, we'll just move somewhere with aircon. That's a great. I'm just toughing it out. But I tell you what, the screens look a bit fuzzy.

He's looking a bit puzzy. It took me, like, something happened just before. It took me about five seconds and go, why did that happen? Normally, I would know instantly. That's what's going on today. Woo! That's where we're right. That's all right, guys.

So what I'm hearing is we're both up against it today. Totally. Shy guy can panel today. Shire guy. Do you want to have a little switch of room? Maybe shy guy I can panel today. No, you do it. Babs, has someone taught you had a panel yet?

Because I know you've been asking for about two years to be taught. Do you want to learn? No, no one has taught me. Rowan, she wants to learn. I've shown you. Yeah, but like not in a real show context, you know. She wants to be in game conditions. Why don't you come over here, darling?

You can play the first song. Oh my God, you can play Kyle and she'll play Rowan the Ruinner. Yeah. Isn't that what you had to do for him back in the day? That's assuming that Babs is going to ruin it. Yeah, Babs might do a really good job. Yeah, she'll get a different nickname. Totally. Babs the keeps us on air.

The winner. Bab's the winner. That's nice. Could you beat Babs' tutor? Sure. Because shy guy clearly has not taken her under his wing. No one really panels anymore anyway. It's so, it's like, because all the systems have changed.

I started learning, panelling like 12 years ago or whatever. What do you mean? I see you working those buttons. Well, no one's ever live anymore. A few breakfast shows. Yeah, no one's ever. live so you just can open up this program, not to get too radio nerdy, and just record the break in off the air.

And then just hit play. With some shows do. You play one song. Yeah, totally. You play one song with the click of the mouse. Then you start recording and then you play the other song with the click of the mouse and you stop the break and it's not live. It's a bloody dying art.

Yeah, you can have a few goes at it. Yeah. The stakes are low, guys. I know a show that comes in, they start at what time they start and then they pre-recorded forward. They just pre-recorded and then their three-hour show is something he's done in. Name names. I'm not naming names. They're not on this network.

Bigger. Are they a bigger name or are I a smaller name? No, bigger. Really? Bigger. Yeah, man. Rowan, this is why our industry is dying. We're fully live, though, this show.

So no one can, like, no one can panel it anymore. So what, the skills you have? Why do you think I was out of radio for three years and I got a call? Oh, my God, he can paddle? You know, that was one of the conditions. Must be out of the ban. Because I didn't want to do it. I bet.

I did bat up a couple of names. And our boss was like, can't do the buttons. I went, oh. Rowan's looking real good for this job. Good panel. Well, I appreciate the skills you bring to this craft. But what I'm hearing is like appalistry, it's dying that art. If the young ones aren't interested, Babs is interested.

I don't even think she needs to know. No, let's keep the skills alive. I mean, that'd be nice, but. Like, you know why the blacksmiths died out? Because no one taught the young ones. That's true. I can be lucky blacksmith, Babbs. Yeah, you're going to be a blacksmith coach.

Big show today, guys. We're doing nine. If you get a nine for a half a bucks, we'll give you another go at it. But first you've got to get nine, because we've been saying it for a while and no, I've gotten close. Next, a little fun surgery that people are doing to the Nether Regions. Oh, it's not the triple X. That's not a surgery, I guess.

This is Jess and Rowan. Men are going to extreme lengths to make their penises bigger with the swag procedure. Now, did you write the phrase they're going to extreme lengths? Because that also great gear. Shout out to Babs. Nice, Babs. Swag. The Schaefer width and girth procedure.

It's an acronym. Yeah, yeah. Dr. David Schaefer, giving new meaning to the phrase, supersized me, pumping private parts with filler. I've heard of filler in the face, Rowan. I've not heard of filler in the Johnson. Yeah, filler in the meat. Only takes about half an hour, 10 minutes for the numbing.

So you just got to numb it all up. Slap it all around, numb it up. And then that takes a hold. And then 10 to 20 minutes for the filler to be injected. 10 to 20 minutes must be, depending on your size, I guess. Of course, because like a breast augmentation, if you are going from concave, it is not feasible for you to be like, give me double Gs. No.

You just can't handle it. So obviously, similar with men, depending on what you're already working with, is how big a much bigger we can go. Dr. David's saying they use the stiffest form of hyaloric, I can't say that word, acid for this filler. Hyaloronic. Hylaronic. That's similar.

Just stiff as form. Well, that is the same. What you were sharing last week? The Olympians were putting in there. Oh, so they were having the swag. They were doing the swag. To go further in their aerial jokes. They were doing it to put it in there in it so that when they got fitted, it was thicker.

Yes. So that when they actually did the jump, they had more of a parachuting in the leather region. So how long will this last? Like how long? Two years, baby. Two years. You're going to go back and get shot it up again. Is it relatively a full?

Affordable? No. We don't have a price point. No, it's like $10,000. Oh. Oh, damn. For just two years. You'd want to be getting some good use out of it, wouldn't you?

I was going to say. If you're getting good use out of it, do you really need it to be bigger? Where do you sit on the size does not matter? It's how you use it, Rowan. Wow. When you use it well, it doesn't matter, does it? Are you well, huh? Come here.

No, that's what. I don't want to see it from your own critique. Sometimes. The only problem is like if I'm like gym shorts are a problem because when I'm walking around, I can't move too hard. And then I like sometimes it's hard to get up and then I get up and I go to toilet. Get it up or get up. No, when I stand up, I just like, it's like, I have to go to the toilet and then I have to really like pull it from over my shoulder.

That kind of stuff. I strap it to my neck sometimes if I can. I don't need the duct tape. Yeah, totally. Yeah. The dick tape. So you don't need this procedure is what you're saying. Well, it's funny.

He says here that, like, he puts the procedure on people who have, like, are really small to, like, above average. So is it just, is it like, I mean, I would like to do it as a joke. Can you do it here? No, it's like, it's an American thing. But can you imagine, like, can you imagine just like, look, it would be like, surely be like a boob job. We're like so used to the one thing. Yes. And then all of a sudden you start waking up and go, whoa.

And I know Schaefer has coined this surgery. Yeah, that's the head. Yes, in swag. Correct. But like Bolton's Rowan, is there a good job? And is there a dodgy job? You know, you can spot a bad boob job a mile away. Well, they used to.

So can you spot a dodgy swag job? Yeah, there used to be, there's always been like the penis augment, always been like where you can make them longer and whatever. Yes, but this sounds like just a filler. Okay. This just sounds like it just kind of thickens it out. It's crazy, dude. The girth is important.

Yeah. Maybe that's all, maybe that's all swag. trying to swag out. That's right. We always forget about girth. Everyone thinks length, length, nah. No, thickness.

You don't want thin and long. Would you rather thin and long? Or stumpy and thick? Or chode-esque? That's a chode, yeah. Which would you prefer? I think you just want to be in a loving relationship, wouldn't you?

This is Jess and Rowan. In a world first, Australia, oh, it might be an Australian first, my apologies. Sydney's International airport, particularly the international terminal, T1, is about to home and anytime fitness. So before you get on your 14-hour flight to Dubai, you can go get a pump on.

Interesting. You can go sweat the whole, stink the whole plane out. Now, my issue is two-pronged. One, not everyone is like me and needs to get to the airport three or four hours early. I have massive airport anxiety. I'm not an anxious person, except when it comes to an airport run. You can lounge and stuff early. Yes, true.

I would have time to do this. But the average person, I don't think, is getting to the airport with enough time. You know, I used to work at Melbourne International Airport, and the number of people I would see legging it to their plane because they didn't realize,

oh, final call means I'm going to get booed off. Do you have enough time to actually be getting it? a sweat on? Well, I think if it's a stopover, I think maybe it's okay. But this is the issue. Australia's not a huge stopover country because we are at the bottom of the globe. So unless you're a Kiwi, maybe coming through Sydney and then going up, I don't know

who has that much time because it's also before security and immigration. It's land side. So it's like you've arrived. Get out. Well, it's like you've arrived to the airport. You go, I've got three hours. I'll go get a sweat on. Now I'll go through security and customs.

What is land side man? Landside means before customs. Right. So you're with kind of the general public. So when you get dropped off in the Uber, you're land side. Correct. It's once you go through customs, you've shown your passport, your air side. Ah, air side.

And I would argue that's where the hold-ups happen, security and customs. So if you have thought, I've got plenty of time, I'll go get a 45-minute sweat on. You might get to security and then be late for your plane because that's where the hold-ups often are. It's not for me. And then our friends at Body and Soul have. made a great point, doing a hard workout and then sitting on a small economy seat for 12, 13, 14 hours, that's not good for your recovery. And it's worse at altitude, obviously, being up in the sky.

Yeah, why would you, would you work out? I wouldn't. I don't think I would. Give it a day, guys. Do it when you get home. I love the idea you walk up and down the plane. We don't want deep vein thrombosis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, you can do the chair, stretches and exercises. Roll the ankles, roll the wrist. Got to do it. But I don't know if I'm getting a full pump on. Because even if you're flying, say, to L.A., right? Sure. What's that a nine? Oh, that's a long one.

That's a 30. Oh, that's a biggie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all said nine, 13 and 20. It's longer than those. Is it? Yeah. I don't think it's 20.

I thought LA. It was like 14. 20 is too long for one tank of fuel, isn't it? So it's a London. 17 hours. 17? Oh, hang on. Depends on the airline.

There's a few different stops. Depending on where the airline goes to you. Hang on. Can you fly director L.A.? Yeah. Damn. 15 hours. There you go.

There you go. Anyway, you were saying that why wouldn't you just get off the plane, go check in, maybe have a nap and go to the gym the next day? Couldn't agree more. Getting a sweat on before and you made, you raise the point about stink. I know there will be showering facilities. But what about those clothes? They're going to be what rolled up in your carry on,

stinking out the whole plane. To each their own, but that's exciting news. If you are a gym junkie and if you are an anytime fitness. member, you will be able to go to the Sydney International Terminal. If you're not a member, I think you have to pay your fee. We'll just go in for a look and go, oh yeah, and then go. It's a marketing thing. It is a marketing thing. It's in a marketing play.

This is Jess and Rowan. Hi, Babs. Hi. You are our conduit to Gen Z. I am. The ripe old age of 24. Yeah. And they're saying a new word that we need to be across because I can't even guess what this one would mean. Yes, they've got a new buzzword. Mogging. Mogging.

Mogging. So this one comes from the menosphere acronym AMOG, which stands for alpha male of the group. So it's like a, it's a male thing. Okay. Because to be honest, you spoke another language for a second there. Sorry, sorry. So that's where it comes from. This is the definition.

So to mogue someone is to outshine, outdo, or exert dominance over them. So usually by way of physical experience, e.g., I'll give you some examples. Thank you. And insert Shy Guy into your examples. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shy guy's the mob. Shy guy's the alpha male group. It's a good, it's a good term. Oh, I thought it was a negative.

No, no, it's definitely good. So if you're height-mogging. But still insert me. So, so you're height-mogging. So it means that you're taller than everyone. So that's your dominant in the tall, like landscape. I don't know. Joke-mogging?

He's just sitting around cracking jokes here, Max, with joke-mogging. If you're jaw-mogging. So do I get accused of joke-mogging? I don't know. I don't know. If you're jaw-mogging, it means you've got a really defined jaw. Yeah. But does shy-gu...

Who calls it out? Yeah, who calls it out? I don't know. Here's a question. I have a question. There's also maxing going around. Are you more across maxing? No, like Jess.

Like, looks and massing. Yeah. Can we get mogging first before we go another one? Well, I think it might all be connected. It's all connected. It's all within this, like this menosphere. I think people are saying... Sorry, I also have an issue with that.

What's that? You know what it is. The menosphere. Menosphere? Yeah, the menosphere. So you can be the Alcline. There's lady sphere. Like, there's lady a sphere.

Oh, you say, man. Yeah. Oh, right. That's what you're saying. My apologies. I couldn't quite. It's a men thing. It's a men thing.

It's a menosphere, yeah. Menosphere, yeah. I was it men, uh, plural. So the menosphere. See, I immediately went. Menospheres. Menopause. No, you're just saying in the world of men.

Well, menosphere could be pretty negative. Don't you reckon? Some of the, I would say. Well, that's 100%. It's kind of, yeah. No, go, shy guy. You just raise your hand. Oh, yes.

Shai guy, up to you. Thanks, miss. I don't want to avoid the overtalk. Anyway, so if you're, let's say you're a fashion model and you're a guy, you've just done the catwalk.

Yeah. Would you say he mogged that? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know that. You're now the authority. That's why I'm asking you. I think you'd say you're like model maxing or something.

Yeah. That's maxing. Yeah, you would say like you're max it. Yeah. So. But I would potentially like say like you're in the group and you're just like really taking control and like taking control and like,

taken charge. Okay, so can I have a real life example? We go out for dinner. I'm table captain. Guys, I've got this. I've been to this restaurant 50 times. Lean and back. Book it, like ordering the food.

Yes, I'm ordering the food. Jess is just sitting around, sitting and mogging around everywhere. Am I? Yeah, you monging. Yeah. Even though I'm not a man, it can be applied. Menu mogging sounds like mum says it. Maybe dinner mog.

Dinner mogging. Order mog? Menu maxing. Table maxing. It's more towards your physical attributes. though. Mogging is physical. It's more physical.

Maxing is what you're doing. Gotcha. Okay, there's a good definition. Delineation. Moggings is looks. So like jaw mogging, you have the best jaw. Like you've got a really nice jaw. It's not giving the same examples.

Sorry, because I don't understand. Well, they put a real life example. I could be here panel mogging. Because it's not looks. She said it looks mugging. Oh, no. You're panel maxing. Yeah.

That's where it gets confusing. But they've said Margot Robby was style mogging on the Wuthering Heights Prest. Well, that sounds like Maxie. Jacob, a Lordy was and always will be height-mogging because he's always taller than everyone. So I'm height-mogging. You're high-mogging.

Rowan, your beautiful smile mug. No, clear-eyes, mocking, because you've got the clearest whites I've ever seen on a human being. Babs, you're just radiant. Oh, thank you. Sunshine mugging. Why are you doubting that? Well, I feel like she picks something for us and she hasn't picked something for you. Yeah, because she's the whole package.

Yeah. Okay. Do me. What's... You're hair-mogging because your hair always looks the best. But she just got rid of her extensions. So now what? But it still looks lovely.

Still, it's good. This is Jess and Rowan. You were Breaking Bad? Yeah, man. Me too. Watch it about four or five times, I reckon. Oh, my God. One of the greatest series of all times.

It is really good. If you have not seen the show, the premise is a, you know, humble scientist, played by Brian Cranston, gets a terminal diagnosis and then turns to a life of crime. Okay? There was no spoilers there. go me. Yeah, that's pretty wildly known. Yeah, but in an interesting new study done out of Denmark, they are comparing,

a bit of life-imitating art if we look at that storyline from Breaking Bad. In a research study done with over 360,000 people, nothing to sneeze at, they looked at a cancer diagnosis related to criminal activity. I'm awful for this kind of science, guys. Like, this is what we need to be doing science. This is an interesting... Not the length of penis to like obese kids. We're not doing that anymore.

We don't need to do that. You're still thinking about that one? Yeah. For your friends seeing you that study. They've stopped now. Thank God. But this out of Denmark, newly diagnosed patients showed no signs of criminal behavior. However, after two years after an initial cancer diagnosis,

patients were associated with a statistically significant increase in criminal convictions. Because I just don't care, do you think? Well, there's an issue with one, I'm not going to be around. So I'm going to start taking some more risks, and they are legally dubious. Also, like Walter White in Breaking Bad, financial burdens. So people now going, I need to provide one for my own medical bills, but for my family. Stuff is some cash out of the mattress. 14% more likely to be convicted of a crime five years after a cancer diagnosis.

If you get cancer, you're a criminal. How great. Is that what you're saying, Jess? I'm saying two years after, you get done for shoplifting or other things. Now, they haven't gone into the kinds of crimes that those 360,000 people who did end up committing a crime, ended up doing. Like, they're not saying, oh, they all went and started drug empires like Walter White. Shryga, what do you think that these poor sick people are starting their criminal empires by doing?

What do you think? Probably like on TV shows, exactly that. They're running their own rings. Empires, rings. They're not big as empires. Maybe a little like side hustle. Okay. You think like ticket scoping or do you think like drug running?

What are you thinking? Drug running. You're wicked. Nah, see, I can see. Hard drug or just like the leafy stuff? Just leafy stuff. Because that's also, you know, medicinal. That could, but that's kind of legal in some countries.

Denmark seems progressive. Do you know what I can see being one of them? Like a grand theft auto. Where you go, I'm never driven a Lamborghini. I'm never going to have a chance to drive a Lamborghini. And if I've got the death clock counting down, I want to take that Lamborghini. Just give us a go.

Just give us a go. Go real fast. I think I would definitely be taking more risks if I was like, oh, doctor says I've got 18 months. Absolutely. You know, it's like the 91-year-olds who go, I've never skydived. I don't know how much longer I have. I'm going to jump out of a plane. Rock on.

While the Danes have worked out, yes, you are statistically. What are you most likely to commit? Oh, public urination probably. Just pissing in public. That's it. I need to go. That's your biggest thing. That's your biggest crime.

You can do that now? You can just go downstairs. Oh, my biggest, oh, no, I'm just saying that's what I would do now. Oh, that's how you get booked now? Well, I... No, you say you're going to die into, like, in like 18 months. Oh, okay, you're going to do you think would be on your list of crimes for Jess. Just love that your first thing was the public urination.

Oh, I'm going to go. No, come on. You're got to go. And that's fine. You just go. But let's just say... In this scenario. The cancer's caught up and you now want to make some extra money for the sweet child and your beautiful husband, Angus.

What type of crime is. crime, are you committing? What do I think could earn me a pretty penny slash? What could I get away with? Because I also don't want to ride out the clock in prison. Who cares to get away with it? You still got to die. It doesn't matter.

What do you reckon? Oh, yeah, okay. Anything. Steer the car. Yeah, we, yeah. I don't think I'd have the skills to get out of a car because most of the fancy cars are manual. Fight club? You run on fight club?

Anything. Oh, little cock fighting? Cockfighting. No, that's not nice to the Cox. No, don't do the cocks. What's the crimes? Oh. You got it?

I was going to say. Say it. Say it. like fraud or embezzlement or something. Because that feels like a victimless crime, you know? The big corporations. So you would not only be dying, you'd be stealing from other people who are also talking.

Maybe you'd get a group together and you start a little committee and give them nothing. No one would suspect us. That's the best. Don't say us, mate. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Absolutely. 30 seconds.

10 questions, one letter. You get all the 10 questions right. You get $10,000. You get nine. We're doing redemption round. calling it. You give you another go. New sheet, new letter. New letter. Great question. I was a new sheet. Chah, guys, are fresh everything. Fresh letter, fresh set. Fresh letter, fresh chance. But Ozzy, let's not even bother and let's just get 10 straight off the bat. What do you

say? Sound good. Oh, fingers crossed. Sounds good to me. What do you want to spend our 10 grand on? I guess a holiday, treat the family. Just taking overseas or something like that. Love that for you. Who cares? Buy a watch for you, brother. Do it for myself, you reckon? Yeah, baby. We'll see. Depends what motivates Ozzie, you know, whether it's the family or internal, intrinsic. You got to share it, don't you?

Okay. You're a good man. You're a good man. He's a big-hearted man. Ozzy, the letter you're going to work with today, my friend, it's W. W. W.W. Okay.

You ready to rock? Yeah, let's rock it. All right, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter W, we need you to name an Arnott's biscuit. Waifer. An international city. A Wellington? A reality TV show.

Um, pass. A confectionary brand. A confectionary brand? Pass. An occupation? I go walkers. Yep, an occupation? Later.

A school subject. Um, weather? A band. A band. Westside? A magazine. A magazine. Weekly.

weekly? On the buzzer, after the buzzer? After the buzzer. That's correct. Ozzie, but ran out of time. Well, it happens, mate. It's all good. I'm actually finding that's probably everyone's.

They kind of, it takes everything takes a little bit too long. It happens. It's only 30 seconds. It's the clock, mate. It's the clock, the bloody clock. I know a 30 second plank feels like eternity, but a 30 second alpha box, that goes fast. I don't think, I don't think Waifer is right for Arna's biscuit,

but I would, wagon wheel would have been one. I don't know if it's an Arnitz. There's definitely waifers. Definitely waifers. Yeah, we did ask Carnets. Wipe out Wife swap before a reality TV show. You could have had. Also, school subject, weather.

I don't know if I can give you weather, Ozzy. I don't know if I can, man. What subjects you got? He wants to know the options. Writing. Woodwork? Would work, maybe. What do you reckon more?

Ozzie, we're going to send you back to Babs. You can take it up with her shoe rights. I remember weather overriding, that's for sure. You know what? I'll give you weather, you still didn't win. We've set the precedent now. Anyone can say weather for a subject. Is the case of that argument?

Sure, why not? And, you know, when people win, it's good. Ozzie, very good. All righty, we are back at 8 o'clock. That's right. Up next, though, there was an incident in the office. There was destruction of property. Well, I wonder who that was.

And we need to get to the bottom of it. ear from the horse himself. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be a shy guy heavy hour, Rowan. Why is that? Because Dips is coming up and right now I think we need to point the finger. Oh, it's someone breaking things in the office. This feels on brand.

It does feel on brand. We've invited Babs back into the studio after that debacle of a mogging segment you tried to run earlier. I thought it was good. I still don't understand what it was. Do you think I am? understood. We did give you 30 seconds notice to read the sheet.

We'll blame you. But something happened on Monday, Babs, that you were witnessed to. Now, before we call the defendant to the stand, we'd like to hear from your perspective how something in the office broke. Sure. This is getting a bit niche, though, but we were sitting at our desk doing our after nine work. And basically, Rowan, you're responsible for exporting MP3 files.

to a folder. Yeah, and I just didn't do it. You forgot. You're not on trial, Dale. Don't worry. No, no. You're not on trial. Just for some context.

And I checked the folder and went, oh, damn it. Rowan didn't export those files for me. And then Shaga goes, oh, picks up a pen and pegs it at his computer screen. It's not your... Stop talking. Immediately, the screen goes like weird and has like a massive whole thing and, like a massive stripe. And we just start absolutely laughing.

me I head off and then try to go panics and turns the monitor off, thinking that we'll fix it. Turn it off and on again. I didn't want anyone behind us to see. Looking for a bag of right. What have I done? Who sits behind you? Our boss, Jace.

And the GMI. So now you can come to the witness, Dan. What was your thinking? It was just playful. And I was like, it's a pen. Usually when, like, when there's a small issue around me and Babs, we do like over-dramatized. Yeah, we're like, bang in the table. We're like, oh.

Like, we'll bang the table. Like, the most minor things. Every time roll. If someone forgets to export a file... Listen, I'm so extremely sorry that I made you feel like that. I'm only human. I promised to do it today. You made us joyful because it was about the overreaction, the drama of it.

So I picked up the pen instead of banging the desk for once. And I just threw it at the desk. I wasn't aiming at anything. And then the little pointy bit on the pen. I must be the ballpoint of the pen. He javelined a pen into a computer screen. Like a TikTok of like when they throw the Wii controller at the TV. That's what happened.

That's what it was on my monitor. But I love the idea you're phrasing the witness now. I think we can question him. Sure. I threw a pen just at the desk. Bro, how close is your computer screen to where you see? Less than a metre. Less than a metre.

Your computer screen is actually off the desk on a floating arm. Yes. What did you think you were going to hit? Well, I thought I might, the screen might be in the firearm. But I thought it's a pen. What damage could a pen do? You underestimate. estimated your own strength.

No, you didn't think of all of that in the space of 0.2 seconds. I definitely did wrong. You just threw it in your rage. And guys, if you're listening, this is a couple of guys we work with. Angry and couldn't get violent. See why I'm on edge all the time. I am within arms. Oh my God.

If he piffed a pen at me, I reckon I'd break it out. How about yesterday? I started to get a little bit snappy with his hand. Went a bit of sass. Getting a little big for his britches, wouldn't you say, Row? So I agree with Babs at Fennantant. it's your fault at the root of this. So this trial has become not just pointing the finger,

but bringing in an accessory, an accomplice to the crime in Rowan Maxwell Edwards. I understand. And I feel terrible about it. That I did not click export. One of the funniest things, too, was that there was more to this story. He then had to go and explain to our tech guy why his monitor was broken. I went straight away and I said exactly what happened. I didn't fake a story.

I couldn't take a one. Good. Good. Yeah, good. Trying to blame Rowan and thought, now he left. I walked into Jeremy's office. Our engineer went, Jeremy, I've thrown my pen at the computer screen and now it's broken and can we replace that in 24 hours.

What did he say? He said, we've run out of computer screens. Do you really? Yeah. I think there's one on order. I just love the idea that our engineering team, tech team, even the bosses would have gone, we get a chugger, you have to work with Justin Rowan. You're allowed to throw an engine screen.

Hey, do you want to go to office? He wouldn't care. I remember back in the day, probably five six years ago when I was working with Jace back in the big death star of the old station in, I was there too. You were there too. We used to just break shit because we could. I remember I was sitting with one of the girls, Keri, and she was like moving her mouth, like scheduling music.

I got some scissors and just cut the cord. And she couldn't figure out. Not in a race, just for a little bit of a life. I was like, look at it, looking at like, Jay's like, yeah. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she got mad. And like, cut it, basically cut the chords so far down that she didn't realize it while it wasn't working.

And she was like banging on the desk and what's going. We're crying, laughing. Engineering are like, who's going to pay? for the mouse. Jay's like, we're going to pay for it, man. It's hilarious. Worth the laugh. So we were thinking... If the joke is worth the laugh, then it's okay. We're thinking on 13-1060,

when did you take the joke too far? I love that. Even more specifically, pen-related jokes. If it broke something. If you've had a pen-related joke. If a pen was involved, bonus points for full of fame. 048-8-18-1069, if you'd like to text the show, can you back shy guy up? Did you joke break

something? This is Jess and Rowan. I don't know what's happened today, Rowan, but there's an accidental theme for the show. A lot of Gen Z news. Maybe we're just getting old. Maybe. And it's so interesting to us what the young ones are thinking and feeling and doing that we must explore. I refuse to get involved.

I'm always young and fun. Is the peanut that you're obsessed with? He'd be in his late 30s. Oh, so that's not a youth thing. It's a youth thing. It's a youth. He's on a youth platform. Ah, but he's not youth himself.

No, definitely not. You're not like watching the kids. Play with, that would be weird. So funny. A lot of the popular, I mean, there are like popular streamers who are like in their, you know, there might be like 18, 19. Yes. And a lot of the popular ones are like late 30s, early 40s.

There you go. I follow a chick and I didn't realize how young she was. I think she's 19. She was on the Forbes under 30 rich list. And I'm like, how did you do that at 19? Amazing. Just following their dreams. Just following their dreams.

Just living their most authentic lives. And that's what people are latching on to. Gen Z have got together with our friends at BuzzFeed. Oh, yeah. To share, I don't know how condescending this is, but to share their favorite older people things, like the stuff they've heard their parents, maybe even grandparents talk about that. They go, oh, I wish we still had that. The thing I'm most jealous about, this is one Gen Z sharing,

is the older generation got to grow up with third places to meet and hang out in. No, I don't really understand what she means by that. Third places. She goes, there's nothing like that anymore. If we go to a coffee shop, it's $10 for a coffee and we have to drink it quietly and get out. If we want to hang out in a park, there's always Karen's yelling at us just for being kids. What does she mean by third places? Like, what were we doing in our youth where we hung out somewhere for free without Karen's yelling at us or having to spend a fortune?

Well, I grew up having Karen yell at me. Yeah, well, that's your mum's name. It was built in. I don't really understand. I don't understand that one. You know, like the shopping centre? I used to hang out a lot of the shopping centre and it was okay. It's not like security was trying to move us on,

whereas now a pack of youths hang out at a shopping centre and everyone gets a bit suspicious. We used to hang out outside Maya. Did you? Maybe that's the third place vibe. Looking for pickpocketing opportunities. Just looking to be cool. Your little Aladdin, scally wag. I took my prefect jacket off like I was one of the bad boys.

Hell yeah. That's what we would do. Private Catholic girls school. Roll up the skirt. Get a bit. Another young person has said, I like how the old generation know all these tricks like sewing and general clothing maintenance. Yeah, I'd have no idea.

I don't know how to do that either. My mom's a gun. I don't know what to do. I tried to hem a pant the other day. Ruined the pant. I had to go pay to the tailor. Someone, I think she's, I think she's just trying to be cute. I loved the wall phone the most.

I love the idea of having the phone in the living room. It's my favorite thing. in my grandparents' house. Just love the idea of it, by the way, guys. Never actually used one. It wasn't that good. 100%. You have one of your pocket now.

Just use that. That's better. This I can get around because I've recently gone back to cookbooks. Trying to copy a recipe of Instagram or TikTok is so hard. You have to keep stopping it and pausing it and rewatching it. No wonder cooking tutorials on social media have so many views. Yeah. Because you've got to have it constantly playing.

I find on Instagram rules, you can't pause it. So you have to watch it in full and just wait for the moment ago. If you miss, I got to watch it. Not to make us sound so geriatric. But yes, I try and pause. It just mutes it. Is there a way to pause a real? No.

TikTok, yes. You can pause real. I don't think you can. How? It just leaves a big play button over the top of it. It's not good. Okay. So, yeah, if you're trying to cook in real time.

Real time. Nice. It's impossible. Back to the cookbooks. Literally bore one yesterday. Someone else, this is a great one. I love how with the. older generations, you're not expected to respond back to a text within 0.7th of a second.

You actually understand. People might have things to do, whereas this generation, if you don't reply within the half hour, the anxiety kicks in. Do they hate me? Yeah, so far. A couple more for you. Someone said, I hate online shopping. I wish we could go back to the days of going into the shops.

You can. Well, the shops still exist, guys. You can go to the shops. Even not as many. Shops are closing. So go into them. And someone else has said, being able to remember. record music off the radio for your voicemail.

Someone create a time machine so I can go back. That is a 20-year-old taking the piss. No one is using voicemail in the modern day that you need music on your. Send a text. Voice mail server. Send a text. But there you go. Everything's cyclical, guys.

Don't worry. It all come back. Yeah. I mean, I'm cool with everything right now. Absolutely. That's because you live in the present. I'm my own man. Yeah, man.

Don't look in the rearview mirror. We're not going that way. We're going full. This is Jessen. Rowan. Australia's favorite radio game. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Shy guy dips. Yes. And it is all our favorite game as well. Shy guy dipping. The stake's going to be higher, Ron. No.

Do you know what is at stake? Lollies. A bag of lollies. A bag of lollies. And all you need to do is decipher the clues that shy guy is going to spill out. Yeah, he gives out clues. It's a very, it's a very, it's a very, shy guy. It should be shy guy for breakfast today.

I think it should. Even Babs has, I feel like, done more work than I have. I mean, I'm struggling this morning. I didn't really sleep. So if you guys can just step it up, that'd be great. And good to see you doing it. You've been killer on the buttons, though. Smooth. The wall of sound. Thank you. Perfect.

13, 1060. If you can decipher the clues, you win, said packet of lollies. Oh my God, you're going for an early open. Yeah, I'm trying to... You never open this early. Yeah, but I thought I would just have a look. Okay. The first clue, please, Mr. Guy. Oh, Jesus, you know this game is coming every Wednesday.

Two words. Have you not done the clues again? Two words. He doesn't even think about it. I'm trying to prioritise my clues. One clue. Two words. Two words.

Two words. Oh, that's the clue. That's the clue. First caller does get a supplementary clue. Yeah. Gosh, was it last week, if not the week before, we got it first caller? Yep, we did. So let's see what we can do this week.

Your first clue. is two words. 13, 10, 60. Call now if you want to play. Shy guy, Dick. This is Justin Rowan. Australia's favorite radio game. Oh, my God. When I dip, you dip me down.

Oh my God, I'm at home. Shy guy dips. Yeah, you know we're dipping, baby. We're doing. We're dipping. We're dipping some lollies. Lollies. And we've already heard the bag he has in his hand.

Two words. That's your first clue, guys. Callie, good morning. Good morning. Callie. So you are our first caller, my friend. It's two words, but you get another clue to piece it all together. What do you got for Callie?

Callie, the bag is orange. Ooh, two words and orange bag. What do you reckon, darling? Um. I want to want to be jelly beans. Quick. Is that jelly beans? Is that your guess or was that mom's guess?

You're my guess. Sorry, Callie. Sorry, Callie. It's not jelly beans, but we can knock them off the list. Yeah, yeah. Done a bit of work there. Jelly beans is good, though. Jelly beans is good, though.

It's not right, shy guy. It's not right, but it's a good guess. He's being nice to the clues. Kaira, good morning. Someone's got to be. Good morning. That's a nice name. Kaira.

Beautiful name. Two words. Orange bag. A third clue for Kair. There's four flavors, Kira. I'll read them out. Oh. Fruit Punch.

Golden pineapple. Lime. And, It's like a night of Guy guys. No one Google those things. That's an interesting. Oh my goodness, you've thrown me. I thought it was killer pythons, but I don't think that's it.

Come on, pivot, Kyra. This is where clutch players rise to the top. Three. No, I've lost it. Okay. With a log of no guess, it's not that. Nicole. Nick, good morning.

Hello, Nicole. Hello, how you going? Yeah, good babe. It's not jelly beans. It's not nothing. You get another clue. Not killer buttons. Audible clue for you, Nicole.

Oh, audible Nicole. Hold on, Nicole. Wait for the clue. Here it is. Oh, that was the bag being dumped out onto our wooden desk. Nicole, they're clearly hard candies. What's your guess? Oh, hard candies.

I was going to say Reese's buttercops. That would... No, I don't know if buttercup is one or two words. Would you like to lock that in? Or do you need to pivot? Yeah, I love it. I can't think of anything else in an orange bag. It's not Rises, but excellent work on the orange bag.

Reeses do come in orange. Let's go to young Billy. Good morning. Hi. Billy, we've heard it's two words. It's an orange bag. There's a bunch of flavors. They sound like hard candy hitting the desk.

You get another clue. Shy guy. They're all individually wrapped. Okay, yes, good clue. Oh, um, just the same thing if you want. Starbath? They are not. Starburst.

I'm sorry, Billy. I reckon Starburst would be one word. Starburst is a one word. It's a one-worder. 131060. We've got a toughie here, shy guy. Yeah, you know what's interesting. I just pulled these all out, and there's one that is not wrapped.

Well, that's disgusting. Take that back. There's one loose in the packet. That's not a bonus clue, anyway. A clue doesn't really help anyone. It like unwrapped itself in the bag. Andrew. Andrew, do you want another clue?

Yes, please. Yeah, first letter of the first word is Jay. Oh, just give it to Andrew. Big clue. Damn it. Okay. Okay. Pivot, Andrew.

Come on. No, I've got no clue. What I would recommend for people playing the radio games is have a guess. Have a guess. I mean, it's hard to get through. So once you've gotten all this way, chuck something out. Totally. 13, 1060, if you think you know what shy guy is dipping.

This might be one of the longest we've had. And shy guy is yet to give one of the biggest clues. It might be coming next. The origin. Sure. Country. Yep. Let's go to Skyla.

Young Skyla, good morning. Good morning. Skyla, you get another clue, babe. Here we go. Skylar, these are imported from America. American, Lolly. And they start with a letter J. Jolly Rancher.

Oh my God, done it. Yes, Skylar! The Jolly Rancher is the Lolly. Skylar, how old are you? Seven. Seven. The youngest player we've ever had, I believe. And she's swooped in and scored yourself a bag of Jolly Ranchers.

Jess will send you a bag of Lollies for your troubles. Well done, Skylar. Thank you. Thank you. What a sweetheart. We're dipping again next week, guys. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit.

Hell yeah, it is. And playing for $10,000 at 8 o'clock is Brendan. Hello, Brendan. Good morning, guys. How you going? Brendan, we couldn't be better. We have the opportunity to make your Wednesday pretty damn good. Are you ready to receive $10,000?

Oh, absolutely. That'll be awesome. Excellent. What do you want to spend it on? A couple of ideas. Trying to get in the house market, which is a little bit boring, but maybe a holiday, maybe Japan. Go to Japan, bro.

Okay. Very nice. The letter that you were going to work with to take you all the way to Japan, then maybe with a little bit left over. Just put in your high interest savings account for a house. Is A, A for Alpha Box. Okay. All right, you ready to rock?

Ready to go. Okay, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter A, we need you to name an animal. An Australian athlete Pass An occupation Anthropologist A biscuit

Arnets An instrument Pass Something you read A TV show Wow Gosh this is so much harder Yeah

That's that timer But let's just all take a second For anthropologists One of the best answers We've ever received Derry Clever. Incredible response. I can only give you two, though, brother.

I can give you the animal and give you the occupation. Biscuit, you said a brand, not the Biscuit. Yeah, Joe knew that as soon as I said it, a bugger. Australian athlete, you could have had Andrew Johns, Aaron Woods. Oh, Joey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Joe. Instrument, acoustic guitar, accordion, something you read, article, Atlas. Oh, man.

TV shows. Can I say so much harder. Yeah. Man, it's it. Everyone says it. Everyone's good in the car, mate. Not everyone can do it here. Thank you, Brandon, for playing.

And like we said, if you get nine, guys, we will give you a redemption round, but you've got to get at least nine. So funny, we invented redemption round because we had a week of two nines. And we've got to give these people something. And we have failed to get over five since we introduced redemption round. Yeah. Anyway, we've got again tomorrow. Well, maybe it'll come up.

Next, we are talking about ghost camp. Yeah. Ooh. Stick up that. Jess and Ross. Nice. This is Jess and Rob. Jess has been talking all about the Renault.

I think she puts it off sometimes. We are talking Renault chat next. A new expensive item. Well, and also... Another one. How expensive. And I also have an update on just something my husband did. I've never been more attracted to him.

Within the Renault sphere. Well, let's just chat about it off air in case it needs to be... Oh, okay. Is it too late for that content maybe? Maybe. Depending on what you're doing about it, that we just... Okay. Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

What's that? And you do you hear that? give me crap where my teams goes off. This is a bodily function that was an accident. Yeah, and that's a notification from the GM. I'm going to have to decide with shy going to hear it's the same thing. No, it's not. It's derailed up as much as near. It's happened. It's happened once.

That happens three times every day. It hasn't happened once today, thank you. I've heard it four times, actually. Bull. Hate that, bull? Sorry, do I need to call Peter Mullen, your naturopath? Should that be happening? That's natural, actually. He'd be impressed and happy.

No, but what I'm saying is, is the strict diet he's put you on not enough. Are you hungry? It shouldn't be hungry? Probably because it's early. I'm not eating on what these days. I messaged Rowan yesterday, shy guy. A beautiful chicken Caesar sandwich from this new place. And I was like, bro, I know you love Caesar.

And he went in caps lock, don't send this to me. I just had to have a plain porterhouse, was it? Yeah, like a protein bar. Because he's on a very strict situation for the gut health. I went, oh, sorry. I don't want to your guts making noise at 8. I flipped out, bro. I know.

He was not happy. Sorry. When I think Caesar, I think of you. I will. I will go for one. It was unbelievable. I will have one eventually. Eventually.

Maybe on my birthday. Oh, what a treat. It's Caesar salad. If you keep having a... No, it's like a sandwich taco. Caesar sandwich. It was unreal. But anyway, you've got to put something in your belly, though.

Maybe. I need a fart. No, don't do that. Was that the rumblings of the... Yeah, it was moving down. It's like jaws except for farts. Mom, mom, mom, mom. Sorry, man.

I don't know what to say. If you want to play thrift shop, we'll come back. Should we? Yeah, sorry. I feel like I... If we're coming back, we're not talking about the ghost campers like we were going to. We're talking about your re-no. Fine, fine, okay.

Angus Harper. Angus James. The love of my life. AJ. Who has taken the entire mental load of our renovation on his shoulders. I have barely done anything. I don't understand a lot of the terminology. I'm in these meetings and I glaze over.

Can you do a bit more maybe? How do you do that? I try, Rowan, but every time I have inserted myself, add a zero to the budget because I have... Ah, it's just not worth it. Accidental expensive taste. I just go, that marbles nice. Oh, that's category six.

Yeah. What does that mean? Heaps of cash. That means it's heaps of cash. Fair. But he, as you know, and I have been working very hard on the onsuit. It's become the problem child of the renovation. Yes, I do know.

The arched shower. entryway? How do we tile that? We landed on pool mosaic. We landed on pool mosaic? I find that hard to believe. He's the one who came up with that as a workaround because the tiles would be smaller.

Too curve. Fair enough. Okay. He's just trying to make my dreams come true. But that's the kind of things that were taking up our mental load. The plumber asking, do you want a double shower or a bench? We voted bench. All these tiny decisions that you go, I don't think I care anymore.

But the vanity, the vanity was also causing a problem. You can get 15 or 12. Our space is 1350. So we've been agonising over how to work this out. Yesterday he comes home and he goes, I've done it. I said what? He goes, I just pulled the trigger. I went, oh, well, that makes me a bit nervous because he'd be gone for something crappy.

He pulls good triggers. He does. He goes, I found a vintage sideboard, which is just like a chest of drawers. Okay, yep. And I am going to manipulate it so, in conclusion. conjunction with the plumber, to make that our vanity. He found a vintage piece of furniture to perfectly fit the aesthetic that is, you're not going to believe it, 1350 wide.

Ah, it's a sign from Jesus. I have never been more attracted to him in my life. So will you fit one sink or two sinks in it? That's a great question. We're going to try and fit the two. Oh my God. Because we got so frustrated with this whole situation that I forgot. I was like stuff the double, even though it's the last.

one thing I wanted in this renno. Stuff that we could only have a single because we have to get a $1,200. Did he stumble across this sideboard as a, oh, I'll go in there for a look or I'm going to find something? He put the blinders on like a horse running the Melbourne Cup and he went, I will find a freaking solution. Because we got quoted a custom vanity and it was, how much?

How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much was it? Seven. Yeah, wow.

That did not include. That did not include a. stone bench, plumbing or tapware. 15-K. Or handles. Oh, well, 20,000. Not 20 with the handles. So you see why we had to pivot.

That's, that's... 15. So 15 would have been probably all up. Which I can't eat if that's what we... So he found a vintage. Anyway, I was just so well done to him. Which then made the conversation about the toilet roll holders that I went and bought without his say-so.

I felt a little bit guilty about that. Why, how much were they? Don't worry about it, but they are so kooky. They're in the hundreds. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They have a... How about it? You don't have to tell me the price, but you just say higher or lower.

Okay, but we don't have to land on it. No, no, we don't say how much it is, but we'll just say higher or low. Like, dual range. I'll say one number and we'll ask one. For one, all the three that will be. Okay. How much would you pay for a toilet roll holder? Ten bucks.

What are you... What are you... Hello. I don't know about Kmart. My house is Art Deco Italian Farm House with a vintage vanity. Don't forget. My house is Art Deco and I can't go to sleep because it's too hot. Listen.

Ranting, though. So each or in a group? Each. You want each? It's got peacock on it, don't forget. And it's antique brass. It doesn't help. Is that so fun?

You're not really latching onto the peacock. I thought it was so kooky and fun. No, it sounds expensive. I reckon each they are. Four hundred dollars. Each? Oh, no. Lower, lower.

Oh, you make me feel good. Lower. Fifty bucks? Oh, yeah. $200? Slightly higher. Okay. $250?

So it's like $900 for the group of them. Yeah, because I got three, but then I also, I got them. Oh, yeah, I did. Because when, you know, you're going to pro postage. Yeah, because they're coming into international. Oh, you're importing them. I had to do a customs fee as well, which was annoying, but I got a matching hand towel, peacock. and towel rack peacock.

I don't know how you're justifying this to your husband. I'm a civil marriage celebrant. Please book me because it's the only way you just like. More weddings. More weddings. More weddings. More weddings. Think about us. I can't wait for you to come over and wipe your ass with my peacock toilet roll. I bring my screwdriver and steal it. This is Jess and Rowan.

There is a viral TikTok capturing ghost campers. It's sending an internet into a tizzy. Ghost campers. Do you know what a ghost camper is? I don't. I'm putting those two words together, but I can't see ghosts. setting up a tent and hanging out. Sparking online debate. Okay, what's a ghost camper?

It has gone viral. It's about 600,000 views now. Basically, a ghost camper is someone that takes their van to the space they want to have on the prime, like, let's say for Christmas. They'll leave it there. Well, Easter holidays are coming up. Easter's a big time to get the caravan out. Maybe a couple of months before leaving it there and paying for the time. but they're getting the spot they want.

But they're not staying there. This screams of what we talked about earlier this week. Running down to the resort pool at the crack of dawn, leaving your towels and your bags and your books, then going to the buffet breakfast and coming back two hours later. You can't be doing that surely. So there's so many, the thing is, there's all these beautiful caravan parks with no room for people

because there's just these empty spots. So if I want to beat the rush and not camp at Easter but camp mid-March, I can't get a spot because there's empty caravans taking the spot. Well, you wouldn't get in the nice spots. And from a business perspective, I see why campgrounds or caravan signs would take the business. Because realistically, whilst it's ethically questionable, if you're paying three months worth of, what do you call that mooring for a caravan, why wouldn't you take that business? I mean, look, they are, they spoke to someone from Parks, Victoria.

This was happening down at where was it, the Murray River, kind of just like, on the border border. And you're only meant to stay there for six weeks. But people are paying it, filling it up. So people are just like, leave them in there. Six weeks still feels like a very long time. It is a long time. That's why six weeks is a really good time for you to have your holiday on your trip.

But people are going down there as soon as they can, leaving it down there. They four will drive the caravan, unlatch it and then lock it up. So you only only have. really want it for a couple of days. And it's a bit harder, isn't it? Because at the resort pool, with that analogy, the little employee can come and just pack up your towel and bag and put it in lost property. Whereas a caravan, I can't really tow that out of the spot, can I, to free it up for

other patrons. People are furious. I mean, mostly the people who camp are furious. I don't really camp. So I kind of get it. If you've got the cash to do it and you want to have a great spot. I know, but now we're just talking, that's just an Australian. Yeah, well.

I'd love to get the perspective. 04,0008-106.9. you a caravan or camper, how do you feel about this? Or can you admit to doing it? Are you like, hey man, it's too hard. I may as well. If I've got the time and I'm willing to pay, why wouldn't I? People are saying just tow them.

But they're paid for it. So why not? We'll bring a tow down. Oh, okay. You get your land cruise and get them out of your spot. Yeah, or even the big crane thing. So you've got a crane on standby. People are just going off in the comment.

It just feels un-Australian. It's not saying it's illegal. It's funny. It says here at the bottom of this article. Honestly, the whole concept of ghost camping reminds me of those folks who run down to the pools 5 a.m to reserve sunbeds. It's giving greedy. It's giving greedy. Don't do it.

We've got a big caravan camping culture here. A bit different though. You were down there. I stayed. So it wasn't like you left. 6.30 a.m. sunscreened myself started reading my book. I didn't just dump and run.

Mini croissant in the bum. Absolutely. Bunk pot out. Yeah, yum. I don't know. I wouldn't. If you got the cash, do it, I think. Oh, no.

See, I do not. Shagai, where do you stand? You'll be the deciding factor on ghost camping. Yay or nay. Shagga, I love it. If you can afford it, do it. Yeah. This is Jess and Rowan.

I have an opinion and it's okay if you don't agree with it. I don't need you to tell me that. I know it's okay. It's okay. You don't have to agree with it. But this is what I think about coffee and coffee drinkers. I am one. As am I?

And it's okay to like what you like. What do you have? A black, cold, brew? Yep. If that is not available, a long black. Not an ice long black because they are not the same. Yeah, that's correct.

They're not the same. Thank you. They're not the same at all. Thank you, Ron. We could open a cafe. I took one back the other day and said, this isn't what I asked for. Oh my God. Can you teach me how to do that?

They said, oh, you wanted an ice black, like us long black? And I said, no, I said cold brew. And they went, oh, oh, and I went, oh. And I went, nope, nope, no. Love that for you. And I appreciate you might be going, hang on. So you're happy to have a cold coffee. but then the alternative is I then are very hot, if not the hottest of all the coffees.

Yes. So you like black coffee? Black, baby. Shy guy. What do you like? I don't drink coffee. He's a chie man. Doesn't drink coffee.

I would also give that. Thank you. Okay. Ooh. I have to. Babs, what do you drink? Soy cappuccino. Okay.

You know what? Oh. Now, here's what I think. I think for in order to you to like coffee and say you're a coffee drinker, you have to like black coffee. To be fair, I do like black coffee, but I do like milk as well. Okay, so where do you stand on that? Maybe I feel like a cappuccino.

That, no, no, you feel like a milkshake. I've decided that if you have anything other than black coffee... We should call something else. That's great. You love the coffee taste and you like a bit of a pick-me-up, but you like milkshakes. You don't like sitting down to have a coffee. If you and your mates go out to a cafe and you both get lattes, a couple of boys going for milkshakes.

That's, and you should have it in one of those big steel cups and two straws. Just commit. Either have a no dose and a caramel a milkshake. Well, where do you stand on something like a piccolo or a macchiata, where it's only just a little bit of milk? It's a little milkshake. It's a little milkshake. Now, I am a coffee snob.

Because why are you getting? You have that whole rant about cold brew and long black, but. Why are you getting a piccolo with a little bit of milk? Just why would you? I get it. Tell me why you would get a little bit of milk. No, I don't do it. So I don't know what goes on through these people's minds.

You'll get little picolos to take the edge off of the coffee. Guys, you don't like coffee. You like coffee-flavored milkshakes. Interesting. See, my husband skim cappuccino. Likes a milkshake, but less fat. He likes a coffee-flavored milkshake that gets him up in the morning. Okay.

Because I would argue there's more milk coffee drinkers than black coffee drinkers. So the minority here, as in you and I... It's a nice drink to have with friends. But why don't you go to a lolly shop and get a blue raspberry or something and really commit to it? Before, get the lime one. I never understood. It's like green milkshake. Get a spider, you know, with the Coke and the, you know, the dairy ice cream.

This is how I used to feel before I entered coffee culture, I would go out for coffee and order a tea and then go, why am I pay an eight bucks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For a little teapot of hot water. But tea's okay. It felt wasteful to me. Tea's good. tea, you know, that's just tea. You're out and having a tea, tea's fine.

Coffee. This is how I feel. I think you're allowed to have the milk drinks if you like black coffee. And you're like, I'm actually getting a little bit different. I normally have an espresso or I don't mind a long black. But right now I'm out having a cinnamon whatever. Okay, yeah, okay, you like coffee. This is how I feel about the dog argument.

If your dog is less than 40 kilos, not a dog. Not a dog. That should be called something else. It's not the same species. You can't compare a... Rhodesian Ridgeback to a Jack Russell. No, you can't compare them. I'm a dog lover. No, that's not a dog.

That's a big rat. Chihuahuas. No, there's not. Though it's an oxymoron. Nice and Chihuahua does not go next to each other. I think you're a bit more passionate about this dog than I in the coffee. I think you're allowed to have... I mean, you're allowed to have milk tricks. Do whatever you want to do. Do you want to do? But you like milkshakes.

If you don't like normal black coffee, you don't like... You literally don't like normal black coffee. You don't like coffee. Do you know what? I really appreciate it. You like milkshakes. But that you prefaced it with, I think. I think.

And that's a nice way to have a conversation. Shagai, I can't see any text. Oh, yeah. Jonathan is a cafe owner and he says, this is so bloody triggering. Because it's right, because it's true. Yeah, but he's saying, you have a point. Yeah, thank you, bro. But also as a cafe owner, he's going, I can't get the milk drinkers offside.

If you only owned a cafe and only sold long blacks or double espresso. Was it Jonathan? Jonathan. Jonathan. Jonathan. Listen to me right now, Jonathan. think about how much time you would save if these bloody milkshake drinkers

just had a espresso shot or a long black. Yeah, but it's not about time, Ron. You can charge a lot more when Babs walks in and goes sore. More orders, more money. More orders, more money. No, more people are drinking a cap than a double espresso. He's going to lose all his business if he goes black only. You know what goes off?

Milk, you know what doesn't? Water. Oh, he's done it. Yeah, but no one's... He's done it, goes. There's not enough people who are just going to order long blacks. I think Jonathan was agreeing with me, so we're just going to go with that.

We sure, Jonathan. Jonathan's agreeing. Jonathan texts in. Yeah. This is Jess and Rowan. One of the great songs. Just going 9 o'clock on Jess and Rowan. You for breakfast in 2026.

Rock on. That's a hell of a Wednesday. Rock on, baby. Getting a lot. How good is weaed us, bro. Communication about my comment that if your dog is under 40 kilos, it's not a dog. It's a rat. 40 kilos is really high, dude.

Like, if you said 20. I'm a wonderful friend's. Sam has said, my 25 kilo Labrador is on a rat dog. I said, yes, it is. And then she sent me a picture saying, this is a rat dog. I said, well, that's a cat. That's literally a sphinx. And then someone else has said, I love you, Jess, but you're triggering me with your dog comment.

Sounds like someone who has a rat. By the way, Jonathan didn't agree with me. Oh, the cafe owner. He said I had a good thought. Can you text through Jonathan where your cafe is? I promise not to slander you on air, but I would like to know. Would you like to go visit and go get a long black? Yeah, we'll ever getting milk, but I might go visit and get a coffee.

Being a purist that you are. You can DM me on at Rowan, yeah, Rowan. Trying to get some fresh stuff. That goes to anyone. No, I'll pay for my coffee, thank you. Thank you. But I won't post about it. Thank you.

Well, if it's good, I might. Oh, anyway, but you can get involved with the show. 13, 1060, or 04,000-18-169 on the text line. Absolutely. Which is what Jonathan did. Hit us on the text line. And he is now in with a chance to win Cooker of the Week. 500 has been in junior

Holiday Parks. He's one of the only people I think so far this year that we've had a text conversation live on air. He was texting. I was talking to him. It was interesting though because you said, are you listening? And he wrote back, I'm listening. Wow, he's locked in. He wrote listening, bro. Listening and locked into this conversation.

But thank you to all the contributions. We'll be back tomorrow. Yep, from six guys. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Ron podcast. Try the big Brecky range with Honey-Sarachia today. Only at Maccas.