Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Bag of dildos

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

The team went to filthy bingo last night, we talk bad pickup lines and the producers wrap up the week that was in the diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Friends meal has landed at Maccas with one of six characters to collect. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everybody. Welcome to the pod. Oh my God. Hell of a Friday. Hell of a Friday.

Do we do filthy bingo every Thursday? Because I really feel like it put us in a good stead for Friday. Yeah, but I'm tired, bro. Yeah, you know what? To be honest, six rounds of filthy bingo. A little bit of feedback for our friend Tommy Casher who hosts filthy bingo is absolutely phenomenal at hosting. Does it like to listen to us live on the radio show on? Told me some feedback.

Don't love the songs or ads. Rude. Pays our bills. Very rude. Listen to the podcast exclusively so he will hear this. Six rounds is too many. Well, eat my shorts, Tommy. How does that sound?

I didn't realize it was Jess and Bart Simpson coming at your life. Hey, everybody. Don't you think six is too many? Four could have done me with the games in between. Jess, six is good. But I think here's my bit of feedback. Oh, okay. It got to five.

Tommy goes, speed round, speed round. So clearly you're running out of time. Nah, but also a bit of feedback. Speed round was fucking slow. Yeah, I'll give you that. Speed round needs to be. Can I say thank you for calling that out yesterday. Because I was sitting there going, didn't he just say speed round?

Then three seconds later, didn't you say speed round, chance? Yeah, yeah, fair for you. I was getting tired to. Fair from you. And I understand not everyone gets up at 4 a.m. I understand a lot of people there are enjoying their Thursday, but don't be saying speed round and then pussyfooting around. I agree with you, bro.

Now, filthy bingo. I don't have to do this in a podcast. us, but I will content warning. So he's going, 69. And then roll. Cqueef. Nah, motherfucker. Yeah, 69.

Bang. That's slow round. That's slow round. You're literally doing slow round now. Come shot. Bang. Queening. Bang.

That's how fast it needs to be. Daddy, I'm coming. That was part of the word. That's what you're going to say. That's how fast, if I was doing it, we'd be out of there. We'd be out of there by 730. Six rounds. Anyway, Tommy, it was really good fun.

It was sold out. Oh, I loved it. And I was so, he's, how good is he? it takes a certain person to be able to do that job. Well, I could do it. He could do it. Babs could do it. I don't think Babs or I could do it.

Babs could do it. We'd be giggling too much. We wouldn't. Oh, your might need to be on. Take it out of. Thank you so much. Babs, you couldn't say half those words. No.

Say rusty trombone with a straight face. Rusty trombone. I still don't know. All right. Say come shot. I hate that word. What word? Unbelievable.

You know who could do it, shy guy. Because he was yelling out C words. That was what I had left on my card. I can't believe my dad hasn't messaged me yet, being like, unacceptable. He doesn't like a swear. Yeah, I'm surprised. My mum messaged me last night and said, how was the bonding? Bondage or bonding?

I was like, look. Oh, thank you. Did you sign the packet? Yeah, just thought you might like it. You talk about cum shots. Why do you bring a diff lamb into the conversation? I don't get it. I don't know.

I just want to do it. What's the joke? Hey, have fun, guys. See you Monday. Enjoy the pod. See you, Tommy. We come for Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan.

In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know Jess? I'm all about wee-woo methods to help yourself. Get ready to know Rowan. Hot, horny happy. Yay! This is going to be good, it's going to be fine. It's going to be all right.

Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good. Oh, welcome to France. Friday, guys. Oh, we made it. Made it Friday.

You know how? Do I team work and determination? You took the words right out of my name. It must have been when you... Oh, hang on finish that lyric. Yes, my friend. We're done. No, I'm not done for it. We've got another three hours. But yeah, last show.

And then the normal person who actually contributes to society will actually probably be pushing on till three, four, gosh, even five. And then we look at our, you know, medical healthcare professionals. they could be pushing through to midnight. Who's to say when their Friday will end? But we're in it together. Together. Sometimes those medical professionals do 16-hour days.

Yes, they do, keeping us all alive and healthy. 16-hour weeks. Your naturopath. Oh, yeah. I'm going to put him in the field. Don't come for me, GPs. Careful. He'd be putting in a lot of hours.

Definitely. Working out the benefits of turmeric. Thank you for your service. Well, he would already know the benefits. He'd be all over tumoury. If he's still learning about Jumeric, I'd be worried. You should have that intel in your mind. I thought I had the appointment yesterday.

Yeah. It's today. A Friday naturopath. So I said, I got a problem if I'm looking forward to the naturopath. What's going on? Is that how you want to... All the things I can be looking forward to? Is that how you want to spend your Friday?

Get your... It's like 40 minutes. Going to go see your herb slinger. Yeah, you know, I didn't really learnt about tonics. You know, like, you can make tonics that you mix of water and you drink for it. Yes. I thought they were like things in things in. video games that make you stronger and help your...

Well, I reckon that's where the video games got it. One of the designers had gone to the Naturopath. They have this huge wall of just different bottles of different things. Yes. And they mix them all together for tonics. And isn't there pipettes involved? So they go a little two drops of this for him, three little drops with it. Well, they pour it in the thing.

And then you pour, you would have the potentially have the pipette. Oh, and then you, oh, that's how you consume. Sorry, apologies. Sometimes you don't need a lot of it. So there's a really long pabet and you can go. Oh. Yeah, that's 50. Because I thought all the tonics were very bespoke.

Okay. They are. They are. They are. They are. They're like witches. In a cauldron. Yeah.

Eye of newt and hair of hawk. Nail of toe. That's it. Yeah. And that's basically what they're doing. Good morning to all the natural paths out there. Morning to all the naturopats.

Morning to Shy guy. Morning. Shy guy had a great night last night. We had a great night last night. We all out at Filthy bingo. Let's speak for us. I had a terrible time, thank you. Yeah, I know.

Didn't look like it. I had a great time. I put up some vision. I just realised I was about to push you to my own Instagram. But go have a look. You would like to see Shy Guy in a way. I guarantee you've never seen Shy Guy. Oh yeah.

See, he was getting down. He was getting down. We did something called Filthy Bingo, which we're going to unpack a little bit extra. Next. I can see next. But good morning to you, Babs. Good morning.

I think definitely out of your comfort zone last night. How did you pull up? Yeah, all right. I came home and told my housemate exactly what happened. a bit taken aback, but, you know. Really? Did you show her the prize you won? I did.

She thought that was funny. It wasn't even a prize. Babs won. It was kind of a secondhand prize because our colleague Ben, absolute superstar, kind of let Babs go, you can have my prize. And not only that, it was a, like a male.

A bad one. The patriarchy. A male centric prize that Babs now has to keep in her top draw, just waiting for the right person. Yeah, because it's a single. Single use only. Did you see that, Rowan? Single use only.

On the egg, the egg shaped packaging. It said one time. I reckon you get a couple of uses out of that egg for sure. Can you just rinse it? Yeah, rinse it out. I've never seen one though. No, neither. So maybe it kind of opens itself up like a parapolitic.

Maybe it tears. Yeah, yeah. Depends how hard you reap it, maybe. All right. Anyway. Four minutes past six. That's some team bonding, if ever up. You know, we had a meal before the show started, went out for ice cream.

I don't feel closer to you than that I do now. It was unbelievable. That's good. Your highlight, Shuggai? My highlight. Getting to the almost close to bingo point and the word that I had left over, I had to announce that. Yes, you had to tell our bingo master, who's a good friend of ours. Speak yourself.

So maybe you could manifest it. A lot of incorrect use the word we and us this morning. Don't speak for me, but it's individualised, too. Don't speak for me. But yes, you had to kind of manifest that put it out to the universe. This is what I need to get a bingo. What you needed it was quite our 18 plus. Call it a word, yeah.

That's right. It's not the one you're thinking of, I guarantee it. No, it starts with a C. Oh, okay. Well, now we know. Are you in delight? We didn't say it. No, I'm not going to say it.

Oh, my God. We can dub if you want. Do you want to say it? No, don't be silly. Let's talk, uh, filthy bingo next. This cheeky bastard. Look at him. Come on.

I've been here. Look at the glint in his eye. I just try to look at more. Yeah, that's right. I try to look at more info. Bab's got, but then I got blocked for half an hour off the internet. Okay. Sorry, don't expect me to Google anything at his hour.

Did you actually? That's the 15th time. This week, Rowan, weekly. And then our boss gets an email. Then he's, well, we're on this website. Content. He's the executive producer of a breakfast show, all right? He's going to Google some rogue stuff.

Give me permissions, IT. I have work to do. If you missed any of the show this week, we are doing the producer's diaries that wraps up the week with all the fun stuff. It's been a hell of a week. I look forward to seeing what the producers have put in there. Alpha bucks as well, 7, 8 o'clock, but we will do filthy bingo chat next.

I have a story from, not last night, from my early 20s that reminded me that I'm sure you guys haven't heard. Okay. Early in the show before the kids are up. I trip down memory lane with Ro Ro Roe. We'll do it next. I'm Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. Last night, we did some team bonding.

My good friend Tommy. Thank you. Not my, mate. You won't his groomsman. I like Maddie. His wife. Mrs. Juggs. Good morning to her.

She's delightful. He runs something once a week called Filthy Bingo. Yeah. We were friends and then he potty mouth of his. Now it's gone. Did he call you a big fat liar as well? Okay. Stop bringing up.

You struck him from the will. He runs filthy bingo. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's bingo where you get the little blotter and a grid. He will call out things, but they are not numbers. He doesn't say things like, oh, two fat ladies, 88, no. No, naughty words. He says naughty words.

Yep, makes him yelling out to him. It's fun. Exactly. But I forgot that you probably haven't heard my dildo story. I have not. And it is as it sounds. We've been friends for over a decade, but we've only worked on air. How many shows are we up to now, Shaguer?

I'd be like 20. Almost 20, probably. Wow. So there's a lot you haven't shared, Rowan. Well, there's stories that will just pop up. I go, oh my God, they wouldn't know about this. And things will trigger other things. Yeah.

Because last night we were playing with some adult toys at the filthy bingo. So clearly your mind was reminded. Yeah, it was just, I was taken back to the days. Yes. I held onto the one they had to throw the rings on to win a drink. That's right. We were playing hooky with a dildo. It's reminded of the days.

I moved into this place in Lonseston just after I got back from Canada. And obviously I would have been 21. And so mum was like, I'll come and help you. Yeah, mum's like, I'll come and help you. I'll come and help you clean. And I went, thanks, mum. But really, I wanted her to do it all. Yeah, fair.

So I got the couch in. I'll put the kettle on, Ma. You just, you sweep. I'll have a cup of tea ready for you. And how does this, I had this amazing, this is Launcette. I had this amazing two bedroom terrace style house. Huge was $200 a week. Oh, my God.

200 bucks a week. Gone of the days. God of the days. Oh, you probably could still get that in Launceston. Oh, that's, I looked it up. It's like now 800. Oh, wow. It's crazy.

Yeah, crazy. So now I'm in the lounge room watching the footy. AFL, because it's Tasmania. Yeah, of course. Essendma playing, who cares. But mum yells, oh my God. What room of the house is she in? I don't know.

Two bedroom. Same level, but down the hall a bit. Are you all right? I thought mum might have fallen down. Oh, she's had a fall. She's all good. She's domestost too hard and slipped. This woman, yeah.

My mom, my domesticost, like, at no, another. She walks in, she goes, oh my God. Um, are these yours? Fantastic. These? Maybe. Where are you?

Are you living alone? Yeah. Who's else are they going to be? Totally. I was like, I don't know. What are they? You're not too lazy to get off your ass and go, look. You're just shouting out to her.

Yeah, I was like, bring it in. Right? She comes in. And she has this, like, you know, those kind of green woolly's bags, you know, those The reusable. The reusable. You're a good man. And she walks it in.

This thing is full. And heavy. And heavy. She two hands it. Mortified. My Christian mother mortified. And she just goes to this. Hand under it.

Pause it out. We counted 29 dildos and sexual instruments in this Woolies bag. No, no. Sorry, you've skipped something. No. You can't go from your mother mortified to we counted 29. How did she regain her composure to go? Well, let's count them.

We as in she stood there and I went through them with my hands. That was your first priority. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not explaining it to your mum being like, how many have I collected? Yeah. 29. So there was like 29. In a woolly's bag.

That's not Woolies intended for their reusable bags. Mum's like, where'd you get these? I said, these aren't mine. Because this is the day and we've got the keys. Moved in. Mum's looking around. Open the bottom underneath like the laundry sink cupboard. You're telling me they were left behind by the previous owners.

Yeah. I go downstairs. and go, mate, who was living upstairs? It's like John, sweet John, goes, oh, her name was, we'll call her Beryl. Oh, Beryl's giving 88, is our old Beryl. So I said, it was an older name. And I said, how old was she?

Oh, she would have been in the, maybe early 70s, late 60s. I said, did you get down much? Because I just found 29 Dildos up in my room and goes, no, you didn't bring them here. And I said that I went down. I said, do you know anything about these? He went, no, that's funny. though.

Anyway, so the dildos stayed with me. They stayed with me until I left the house and then I just left them there. The travelling dildos just kind of... Well, they're not the travelling dildos. They stay at the house. The people rotate, but the bag stays. We used to have the house parties at my house. Of course, you're the dildo house.

I'd want a party there too. And they would say, let's go to the dildo house. And that's Rowan's house. So then when they come up, we'd be drinking, all of a sudden you hear this, thong, and someone has thrown one of the dildoes at the rindoo. at the roof and it's stuck and then you have to either get it down. That's a game we played last night with Tommy. All those.

There was ones that was like 15 inches long. Wow. You'd be like drinking and all of a sudden someone would come around and smack the stubby out of your hand with an enormous dildo. I can't believe. They'd be like, Rol's the dildo guy. I can't believe Beryl never followed up. I don't think she wanted to.

If she had a bag of them. It may not have even been hers. It might have been the person before. Oh, you could have been. This is this crazy like Tasmanians are weird. This is how we've got all these dildos in the house. Oh, my God. People are listening going, it's just easy.

You started with 29. How many did you leave behind? Oh, we would have left maybe 18 because we're throwing them at the window under the street. This is Jess and Rowan. We are playing AlphaBucks at 7 and 8 o'clock for $10,000 unless your name is Sarah. If you missed it, Sarah's have a two-week timeout on the show for terrible attempts at our bucks yesterday. They were lovely people, but just it was like.

Consecutive. A Sarah at 7 and a Sarah at. It's almost Babs's fault for putting them both on. They logged a one and a three, and that's just bringing the game into disrepute. Yeah, if three is not great, but if it wasn't a one, if they weren't both Sarah's. Exactly. If they were a Thursday and a Friday, we wouldn't have probably noticed, but it was a fact that they ruined Thursdays and in fact ruined Alfa Bucks for all Sarahs. Or Sarahs for at least two weeks.

Thursday week, you can have another go at it. And sorry, didn't you say all prizes? So no shy guy dips, no cooker of the week. All winning on shows. All winning, all show. So if you've got a hell of a contribution, I'd hold it for a fortnight. You can send it. You can call if we have some calls and you want to add, but you're not going to win anything.

You're not going to let and allow to win. You know what you're going to need to change your name. Change your name. And that's an extra layer of work for Babs. You can lie. To then ask for ID. Yeah. It's not fair.

Anyone who wins cooker of the week, Babs, you're going to need to see photographic ID to make sure that they're not a Sarah in disguise. Yeah, my name's Jane. What? Birth name Sarah. All right. Because I swear to God. If she just gets, if the Sarah gets, if the Sarah gets for the gates, be hell to pay.

They will be. You're on the chopping block, Babs. Okay. You're basically doing your show from a high wire. Yeah. Doing your job from a high. No, Sarah's. Noted.

No, Sarah is okay. Now I want Sarah to try and get through. I'd love a Sarah to play at seven. I want a Sarah to play at seven under the name Jane, get nine, and then go, ha-ha. I'm Sarah. I'm Sarah. Don't you not? Get her off the air.

Ban her. Oh my God. Get about in the chat right now. Okay, no, now caveat. Yeah. What about a hyphenated? I went to school with a Sarah hyphenated Louise. Sarah Louise.

By the cake lady, Sarah Lee. No. Oh, Sarah Lee. My dad's preferred vanilla ice cream. Thanks for bringing it up. But we said S ARA. It's fine. That's Sarah Lee.

But that's Sarah. But what if you spell it? Sarah. But you say it Sarah. What if I come on? I say my name's Sarah Louise. Get off the show. Oh, really?

I think that's a different name. You'd have to leave. lead with Louise. But then you're lying. But then you're lying. My name is Sarah Louise. You trick us. It's not tricking, though.

That's the name. It's not because it's Sarah Louise. You know, my mum was going to hyphenate Jessica Lee. Lee is my middle name, but she was going to hyphenate it. Jessica Lee. I went, oh, geez. Thank God for that. I know.

What am I, Tammy Lynn? Who's Lee in the family? Oh, Ron, you're not going to like this story. We'll do that another time. What's this story? My mom was a primary school librarian. then became a primary school teacher. So obviously came across a lot of students in her time.

That's why I'm Rowan. My parents never met her own. There you go. You didn't have a bad association with the name Rowan. Whereas my mum came across a lot of kids. She named me Jessica Lee because her favourite student was a Jessica Lee. How?

I hate it. And you wonder why I'm a goody two shoes, people pleaseer? Because I was named. after my mum's favourite student. Not only that, she gave you two of the three names. Are you Jessica Lee? Farchi Onee. My name also rhymes, which I actually do find quite amusing.

That's quite amusing. So out of the two or three names, she gave you their one name. Exactly. But she was going to hyphenate it. So I could have been like a Jessica Lee, Elizabeth. But then she decided at the last minute, no hyphen, Lee will be the middle. Jessica Lee. I gave you the first.

And I don't know, your mother can do no wrong, but this is wrong. I really think it's defined the path I've walked in life, Christopher John. Yeah, what do you make of that? He got the middle name of our grandfather. But I didn't get the middle name of our grandmother. And you got best pupils. And I got best pupil, shy guy. It really tells you a lot about me why I am the way I am.

Your mother went off. That would do. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K Alfa Bucks on hit. Yes, looking for a better, just a couple of, just a better performance than yesterday. Two Sarah's, one got one of them. We've got one question right. The other one got three questions right.

So we've got no Sarah's until Thursday week. They have got Sarah's band from the show for a fortnight. Demi, good morning. Good morning. How are you going? Yeah, good. Now, look, if you can't put in a 10 out of 10 performance, it's okay, but God forbid there's a second Demi, we might ban all Demis.

Yeah, we may ban all Demi. Actually, you know what? If there's a Demi at 8 that does poorly, and unfortunately, if you do poorly, there's no ever Demi's on the rest of the year. The rest of the year, you can't ban Sarah's for a fortnight, but Demi's for the year.

It just multiplies, okay? Oh, that's not fair to Demi. Okay, month. Demi's get months. Oh, damn. Sorry, Demi. I'm on a real roll with this week. Demi.

Did you get a lot of sleep last night? Can you tell, Bab? He's taken no prisoners. Ah. But this next 30 seconds is about you, babe. We need you to lock in. Are you ready? What do you want to spend 10 grand on?

What's motivating you? Oh, just a bunch of bills. We've got a little six-month-old. Oh, okay. Demi's got expenses to pay. What's your little one's name? Bonnie. Bonnie.

Okay, I was really hoping you were going to say Ronnie or Reggie, maybe Rebecca, because those names start with an R, and that's what you'll be working with this morning, okay? Okay. All right, so solid letter, we believe in you, Demi. Let's do it for all Demi's out there. Debbie. Your time will start after the first question.

Starting with letter R, we need you to name. A band. Radiohead. A pantry item. Right. An athlete. A female actress. A cartoon character.

Ronald Duck. A beauty brand. Um... I do a least bit better than Sarah. A beauty brand. I don't know the last time I had a contested have a conversation in the middle of the dances Demi

mate Demi knew Ronald Duck wasn't getting her anywhere close up so she knows Worded up that's good Yeah yeah Well you could have had Roadrunner Could have had Remy from Rattatooie

A rat guy Ronald Duck is insane Ronald Duck might be one of the greatest answers we've ever heard Roger Federer could have had an athlete Rachel McAdams, Reese Winspoon, female actress, Revlon,

Rimmel. Do you even get to carpart? No. Nah, okay. Well, that was on there too, but you didn't get there.

Okay. No too bad, Derby. Demi. Um, all right, so that's a two. I'm over it.

I'm over it. Ron, that's a two, but she made us laugh. So has that got Demies in the clear? Dem's okay. That's all right. Dem's fine.

Babe, you haven't gotten all Demies into disrepute. That's a lot of a good one. I got to be Dem. Oh, very. She, you know, flicked mud at Sarah in the middle of her game. So, I mean, that's a hell of a competitor.

Probably I just called her Remy. Remy. Ah. Sorry, Darry, I get it. Okay, I plan to get an 8 o'clock for $10,000. Up next, shy guys done a deep dive into some of Hollywood's biggest actors. Whoa, man. Where they started.

Give us hope. Oh, I love that. For everyone. Who about it next. Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan. Rowan, as we get to know you a little bit more, new to the program, 20 shows today.

Yay. What was your first ever job? First ever job was I used to work at this huge kind of like function centre, kind of like entertainment center. It's just a big church. And I used to look up there, all these inflatables downstairs, like big slides and jumping castles and stuff. Pardonem what? What church has a? Oh, for the kids.

Yeah, kitties. What, like Sunday school? but then you got to play? Every day, it was like a big kid's center in the church. And then they'd try and throw Jesus stuff at you and get your committed. I was like, oh my God, they were really trying to get me involved in this church. Well, you rattled off some chapters in the Bible the other day. And I went, geez, that's deeply ingrained because you went to this place.

Well, I went to Sunday school. So sorry, what did you do at the inflatable place? Did you monitor? Just stood there and watched for 10 bucks an hour. God, it was awful. Stood there and watched. It doesn't sound good. Not with my hand in my pants, mate.

Just like, watch. Like, just made sure. Like the lifeguard. Kind of. The inflatable area. Next. Kind of stuff. Next.

How old are you? I would have been 16. 15. 16. Yeah. So first job. Yeah. A lot of the cookers will know this about me because I have shared it before.

My first job, green grocer. You would have been great on the tools. Well, thank you for saying that. I was not. What? Maths is not my strong suit. And this is before the days of like digital registers. So I had to put in avocados are for the.

and then add the watermelon at $499 a kilo weigh and then add it. I was making stuff up. Everything was two bucks. That's no good for me. My cue was always so long because the regulars, where I grew up, started to realize this chick doesn't know how to count. She's really cheap. But Vince, the owner, was such a generous man.

He would give a lot of his customers free stuff anyway. So I don't think he worked out on the books. I was ripping him off big time. Sorry, Vince. So cheap. But shy guy? I'm going around the room. First job.

Coles for a week and then I didn't like it. So you would have been, oh. Check out, chick. No, like night fill because I did, well, I did uni. Of course. I did you in the day. Coals at night. Fill their shelves.

And to round it out, Bab's first job. Our news agency. Oh, you were selling the lotto tickets. Yeah. Doing the scratchy. And the newspapers and stuff. Yeah. Well, there you go.

You've learned a little bit about us. Let's learn about some other major Australian figures. Get into them. Chris Hemsworth. Oh, lifeguard probably. Before. Thor, nah, you'd think,

cleaned breast pumps for pharmacies. Feels like a fetish. I'm assuming that's back in the day, maybe you didn't just buy them off the internet and have an individual one. Maybe it was like a community thing and you'd go to the pharmacy. I mean, Hemsworth's about our age, isn't he?

He'd be mid-30s, maybe late 30s. Used to repair and clean breast pumps. What a man. Now he's one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood. Gorgeous Margo Robbie, obviously starring in Wuthering Heights at the moment. She was in Home and Away too, wasn't she? Of course.

Well, no, she was neighbours. She was neighbours, sorry, my apologies. But before the acting, she was a sandwich artist at Subway. Wicked. She was doing the sweet onion chicken terriarchy. Imagine going in there with the boys and going like, I remember her, she's giving my foot long. Because she was always gorgeous, so you'd remember. Remember that girl called Margot?

You would not forget her. In regional Queensland subway. Nicole Kidman, before obviously the Oscar wins, she was a remedial massage therapist. How's going to rub down from Nicole to Kidman? Skills. She still. users today.

That's wicked. What does that mean? Too much information. In her relationship or like on set. Poor Keith. Hugh Jackman, I loved this. He's lost. Before the greatest showman, he was a clown.

I'm assuming he still is. No, he's not. I love Hugh Jackman. How dare you? A bit of respect. That does that up though. Eric Banner. Oh my God.

Baker? Before the acting, he was a stand-up comedian. Really? He used to do all the chopper stuff. Chopper, yeah. But before that. And he was on. But he was on.

the castle. Yes. And he was funny and it too. Very funny. Yeah. Before that, he was a bartender. He's doing Singapore slings and... He'd be clear.

Wouldn't he imagine, like, winking at chicks? He'd be doing so well. I love this. Naomi Watts, like Babs, worked at a news agent. But Liam Hemsworth, obviously. I was going to say the, you know, the poor man's Hemsworth, but Luke is the poor man's Hemsworth. The third brother.

Liam worked at Baker's Delight. He was a baker. He was working a baker's delight. I'm not sure if he was the baker or just like the muffin slinger. Before working at a bowling alley. But cool, a muffin slinger. You don't like muffin slinger. The Hemsler slicker muffins.

Maybe did the pizza rolls. Ooh, the veggie might scroll. It's gone. But then he worked at a bowling alley. I'm assuming 10 pin. So it doesn't matter what you... As opposed to what? Bowls.

Oh, nah. You wouldn't call that a bowling alley, would you? How's that? So doesn't matter what you're doing now. if you've got aspirations to make it to Hollywood, look where all these guys started. Amazing. You know what? I met this artist who played at Howland.

His name was Cassius Bell, Bell, Cole Pepper. Cole Pepper. Yes. Cold Pepper. Cole Pepper. He was his first job. Well, he was in the Navy.

And when they had... He was a seaman. Yes. And his other semen were off and they went to Spain and he got a secondhand guitar, right? This was five years ago. Secondhand guitar. Learned to play guitar. Hang on a minute.

Five years ago, that's not long ago. The other... the other seaman on the boat, well, like, learn this, learn this. Anyway, they kind of realized he could sing, and he did a open mic in Nashville, and the head of the label that signed Morgan Wall and all the big guys said,

come here, you're mine. You're off the boat? Traveling the world. You never know, and he was like, yeah, I never know what you can do, man. And in five years. What, you know. Oh, that's some inspiration for you.

Sandwich artist, Wuthering Heights. Clown? What are we doing? To that movie, Australia. Yeah. This is Jess and Rowan. Wanted to talk to you about the worst dating app openers and what you could say next. Oh, I love that.

And what they kind of mean. Let's critique. We've got two singles in the room. Maybe we can get their opinions as well. Would they work? Because, you know, you and I, we can just judge on surface level. Well, I met my girlfriend on Hinge. Hang on a minute.

I know this story. And didn't Lucy reach out to you? Yeah. Do you recall her opening line? I do. It was a voice message of me saying that, like, I like, I like to shut the elevator. on people. Like, I act like I'm trying to open it.

But you're actually closing it. Yeah. And she replied with about seven ha ha ha haas in capital. And I was like, she's into me. So the app hinge, wasn't it? Hinge. So is that how you communicate? You can respond to that thing.

Yeah, you can respond to. Well, yeah, all photos, I guess. Okay. So she's come across your profile. You got a match still, I think. And then go, this guy's funny. This guy is funny. And gorgeous.

Here we are now. Our app. All right. Okay. Have you screenshot that or you just remember? I just remember. I don't have it. That's lovely.

It's thus in all the other matches, like the millions of matches. You know, Angus, my husband slid into my DMs. I know that. And I've screenshot our history. I've got a book of all our early communication. Looking for an influencer deal? Next minute, a kid.

He was looking for some spawn con for a festival. You're absolutely right. I'm not wrong, though. Oh, we'll be at the green roof later. I know that pub. I know that pub. I'm pushing my names over the door is licensing. What's like to see.

Oh, we're going to be there later. All right. Well, I know where that is. Next minute, he owns it. Anyway. That night, got we party pies, but a big, butter booboo.

If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it. Did. He did. Oh, we laugh. Okay, the opener hall of shame. Basically,

with an opener, you should, it should have some novelty in it, some specificity, something like meant for you. I like that. Not just like a quick little whatever. I don't want to feel like you've copied and pasted.

Bit of effort too is always nice. Bit of effort. The first one in the hole of shame. let's be honest, is just, hey. It's a bit boring. It's low effort, low energy, low everything, right? Number two, how's your weekend or how's your day? Guys, boring.

It's homework disguised as conversation with a stranger. You've just met online. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. There's photos on there deliberately. The idea that you want to stand out, you know what I mean? That's a very normal thing to ask someone, but we've got to stand out. Number three, what's a lot?

Three, what's up. We don't care for what's up. Are people actually doing what's up? I think so. Sounds like it. And now neither is the match. People are stood on this one. I'm certainly not up.

Am I right. Hey, I'm down. The emoji wave. Who's just sending the emoji wave? People aren't emoji waving. Yeah, just, hey, you match and then the... That's so lazy. And the copy paste compliment.

What's that? Feeling like that's just the same thing. Oh, you got a beautiful smile. Oh, nice eyes. You rolled this out. 100%. Basically, they're saying get personal, you know, maybe read the profile, say something about them. Yes.

Well, exactly like, I guess Lucy didn't really go specific, but she was responding to something you'd put out into the world. And she fed right into my ego. Oh, with the ha-ha. Perfect. Capitals, by the way. Capitals. That's a hearty laugh. Yeah.

Yes. Or you can go to Ruevuevangas, offer something. Yeah, offer something. Have you got something to offer? Yeah. Offer it to them. How would you feel in. feel in that regard, all right?

I'm going to put you in single mode again. Oh, don't do that. Someone slides into the DMs and goes, hey, can see that you're a fan of Green Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got two tickets for their tour. Do you like to accompany me? I don't know you, bro. Is that too much?

See, that's my issue. That's heavy. That's heavy. If I was single now, Ron, I don't know how I'd drag. I would go so hard, so fast. I'm a level jumper. I don't know how to... If you had two tickets to Green Day,

what you would have to do is, you would have to send, like, a DM of a Green Day post to them or some video of Green Day. You're going to have some exchange. And then go back and forth and go... But he's put it on his profile. He likes Green Day.

Hey, I've got two tickets to Green Day. Come with me. Okay, so he's put Green Day on his profile. I say, I also love Green Day. What's your favourite album? We start talking about. And then I go, you're not going to believe it. I've actually got a double part.

We've got a spare ticket if you want to go. Okay. So warm a mark up. Don't just go straight in with tickets. It's okay, fair, very. Or a boob pick, maybe. That'll all say. This is Jess and Rowan.

New Year Breakfast in 2026. This is Jess and Rowan. That is our Friday banger. Gwen Stefani, hollaback girl. Jess wanted to play. Respect. Aretha Franklin? Have some respect and pronounce the name correctly.

What I say? Oh, no, you didn't say it right. I think you said Arifa. It's Aretha. Franklin. You said the same thing twice. No, you said Arifah. It's Aretha.

Can you hear the difference? I'm staying out of it. Are we hearing different things? You said it with an F, it's a T-H. Aretha? Aretha. Yeah. That's what I said.

Nope. We're not doing this today, mate. Thank God it's Friday. Aretha. Lucky your song was pretty good. Pretty good song. What won? It did win and that's what the people want.

I'm not mad at them. I'm just saying, a bit of respect for Aretha. Franklin. I love her. You know one time when I was, when I was starting in radio, one of the big dogs said I should get speech therapy? When I was at after? like the big radio school.

Do you know when I did drama school? I did. Mickey Ma for listening. Cheers, bro. I did have elocution lessons. That's why I'm pedantic about fa and thah. Because I played Wendy in Peter Pan and Peter, the director of the company, pulled me aside and said, you sound too Bogan. Wendy is not Bogan.

That's how I learn how to enunciate my T's, F's and T. T. Well, I also had the Tasmanian twang when I got to the radio. Used to? Used to. Oh, mate. Have you been in there? down there.

It's a whole different language. I'd actually love to hear some audio of your OG days. How you go, mate? When you and Shy Guy met, back in radio school, would there be demo tape somewhere? There would, we should find them. If you find them on air, I'll bring yours on. Yeah, we did like a, we did it. What a threat.

I'll find yours. I've got a heaps. I've got some. I don't know where it is now. I'd have to go for a deep dive. We did like a two-week thing on air for a bit. We did a drive show, yeah. You would have had to, right?

Yeah. That would have been part of the course. Yeah, part of the assessment. High distinctions. Did you do it together? Yeah, maybe. Stop it. Yeah, same year.

So is there like a Rowan and Shiger? Oh, you would have been Luke back then, wouldn't you? Yeah, Roan, Luke and that other... Page. Page. That's right. Rowan Luke and I'm weirdly jealous. Who's Paige?

I don't know. What's Paige doing? No idea. You know what we should do for April Fools. Get Paige. I'll leave. Page can come in. I hate radio.

I'm not doing this. She goes out of bank now. She's a mortgage broker. I'm a very successful mortgage broker. I don't need your pittance. Yeah, I have a lie. I can pay my rent, bro. I don't have to get up at the cracker thorn.

Yeah, I can pay my rent. Get up a normal time. Yeah. Tell me someone you haven't thought about it in a while. I haven't. Ten years. Yeah, but it's so much fun. Well, we had so much fun. He used to tell me to hold a newspaper in front of my face and just read it in front of the mirror.

I'm like, can I just read it normal? What to practice your elocution and pronunciation? I mean, he didn't mean it in a bad way, but... Just as a skill. Skill development thing. I was like, just because you've never heard the way the Tasmanians talk. Doesn't make it wrong. Dare you.

Absolutely. I've already been in Sydney for a year. Oh, that must have felt. Yeah, no, it's a different way they're going up, be da'a, there you go. They're kind of like, it's weird. It's a different accent, isn't it? Yeah. It's like Adelaide.

Different sort of pronunciation. Adelaide is a bit weirder. Queensland, a different pronunciation again. Yeah, that's true. Queensland's a bit more bogan though. It's more of a bogan thing. Tasmanian is real bogan. It's a bogan twang.

Adelaide is an abledat. The top end and the bottom end. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. A bit twangy. Did I say a reefer? Well, I think I still said,

Aretha. Nice. I saw your tongue then. It's a different mouth movement. Aretha. Now you've got no lips involved. Aretha? What are we talking about here?

Don't do this. Just go to this. We'll do it later. Okay. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, we are doing alpha bucks. $10,000, $30 seconds, 10 questions.

One letter. It's been a $10,000. So, Fee. Good morning. How's it going, guys? So, if we couldn't be better, it is a Friday, and we have the chance to make you $10,000 richer. Will you give us the honour of transferring you $10,000? I would be honoured, yes, thank you.

You're very welcome. What are you going to spend the 10G on? I would like to use half of my parents. They're really wanting to knock down, rebuild the house, and the other half my partner and I really want to move out. So I would like to use a few. on that as well. I think of course.

I want to keep a bit for myself. Some for Sophie, but that is so kind. Give him like a thousand bucks, mate. You're not knocking down a house with a grant. Oh, look, I love you don't want to with five either. But still, Sophie, that is gorgeous. Are you an only child? No, I have an older brother.

You're definitely the favourite. Oh, so it's brownie point stuff. Definitely the favourite, just with the sentiment. I see. Oh, I love it. Well, Sophie, this is a great omen for you. a Friday, your letter is S. S for S for Sarah.

Happy days. Okay, awesome. All right, you're happy. You're ready to rock? Yeah, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter S, we need you to name a zodiac sign. Sagittarius. A ball sport. Pass. A musical. Pass. A dog breed. Spaniel. A beauty brand. Sephora.

board game. Sudoku. A condiment. Source. A verb. Sound. A music genre. Oh my goodness.

A beer brand. Oh my goodness. Pretty good, Sore really. A lot of question marks. A couple of questions marks, couple of passes. You're certainly not knocking down the house. No. I am a musical nerd.

When you said musical, I can't believe I didn't say a musical. Yeah, you're going to be upset with yourself. Shrek, the musical sister act. Shrek, of course. One of the bigies. One of the bigies. Ballsport could have soccer, snooker. Are we going Spaniel?

Is it Cocker Spaniel? I feel like Spaniel is an umbrella term? I'm giving it to her. Because you can have King Charles Spaniel. Cocker. You can have... Spaniel. It's like poodle.

I think so. All right. I like that. I like that. A beauty brand. Yes, yes, yes. Soy sauce for a condiment. What did you say?

Source. Source is okay. I reckon you can say source. All right, there's another one there. Okay. And verb, I'm not good with the verbs. Now, sound. I'm pretty sure if you were to sound something out.

It's a verb. Does that make it a verb? I feel like it's a very versatile word. Shy guy, can we get a clarification? Yeah, it's either a noun or a verb, depending on how it says. There you go. Okay, well, six. So.

Six is good. Six is good, so. Oh my God, that's insane. Better than average. Better than average. Better than both people yesterday. We're not getting Sophie's banned. No.

Sof could keep moving. Sof, congratulations. Thanks for joining the show. Thanks so much, guys. Have a great day. You too. All, Alpha bucks. Back Monday.

7 and 8. 30 seconds. One letter. 10 questions. Absolutely. Up next row, we're going to take a look back at the week that was.

But after that, before 8.30, I've got a real issue with people taking photos of me. I need your opinion. Let's do it next. This is Jess and Rowan. This is not a colour you're going to see on me very often. What, that one you got there?

Yeah, must have. I stole this off my mom. What do you think? I think you look good. Is it right? I think you look good. It's not the colour I'm referring to. The venting frustration at the public.

Oh, all right. Actually, that's such a lie. I've meant about the public a lot. But something where I am at the crux of it, I've had enough. I want to put it out there. But I'd love your opinion. Am I overreacting? I'll be honest.

Famously, I've gone on record as to saying, I don't believe in the phrase overreacting. If that's how you're reacting, that is your right. If it's got you that riled up, that's fair. And someone saying that's an overreaction. To you, it is? I don't care for it. To you, but you don't get to dictate how I feel.

I'll react, how I want to react. How do we feel about people walking up to me? Phone at the ready, clicking away. What are you met? Now, what they are taking a photo of is not. Miss Fartready, Miss Fartrety, please over here. I was ready. Lift it up, lift up, higher.

Higher. And it's not me per se. Oh. It's my dog. Without asking permission, it has happened many times in his four years of life, but something's gone on this week. I have had multiple people approach me with camera at the ready

clicking away. I've witnessed multiple people slyly as they walk past, either filming him. Right. or click and take in photos. Now, my issue is twofold. One, no, don't take pictures of my dog. Okay.

But two, without asking, two, you are inadvertently getting me and my kid more often than not in that vision. Okay. But because I'm so gutless, I don't say anything. It's not like I put the phone down. But this woman literally came up to us the other day with her phone at the ready crouching down, getting into Gianni's face.

Oh. I don't like it. Where are we standing on that? I thought there's people who were taking photos of you in particular. Well, I'm in the background. Obviously, he's always by my side. It's a dog thing. And since we've been, since Lucia has been alive and she walks around with us,

she's at his height, yeah? Yeah. So I always get a bit weird that she's now getting in these strangers images and videos. I say it knowing I'm a big old hypocrite because I post my child on social media. Yeah, you do. But I've got this weird justification in my brain that I'm, It's my kid. I can do what I want. You're the poster. I'm the poster. You are a stranger. I don't know you.

Gianni doesn't know you the dog. Obviously, neither does Lou Jaya. I'm weird about it, Ron. Where do you stand? I understand he's gorgeous. I mean, you have a gorgeous dog. He's gorgeous. And I understand it's dog people. It's a dog thing. Dog people. But what are you doing with that? Are you going home through your camera all being like, look at this dog I saw? Maybe. I don't know. I don't like it. I mean, how many, if it's a lot of photos, it's a bit strange. But if it's a few here and there, maybe they know someone that has a ridge,

back and like like when my old man has like we have a they have a Tasmanian Smithfield at home it's like a working sheep dog when he sees other Smithfields in public he turns into an idiot my old man you can't get him to speak he like he runs over the dog so his Smithfield might not be with him so the person who has this won't be won't be so this person doesn't know that your dad is a smithfield aficionado my mother would go up to the Smithfield and take a photo of it without even without asking without acknowledging the human she'd say how no no they would acknowledge you But my mum would be far enough picks. If mum saw Bernie's Mountain Dog, she would just take a photo of it for me.

Probably sly, probably weird. Same with the bulldog. Yeah, see, people think they're being sly. Shiger, you know me, famously not very sly with the camera. I can see other people just holding their phone funny and snapping us. I'm going, I don't know if we're doing that, people. You've got a great dog. I just think it's gorgeous.

It's going to be part of your life now. But come over and acknowledge him. We get stopped. I'm not, this is not an exaggeration. Minimum three, four times. What breed is that? Big too. He's bigger than normal. He's bigger than normal.

People are either curious, more often than not, is that a Great Dane. I'm like, no. Great Dane is the one dog who makes him look small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People want to ask questions, want to know what's up, want to know if he's a mix pre, want to know stuff. Or they're Ridgeback officiantos. Oh, yeah, yeah. And they want to pat him, play with him, talk to him.

But the phone, I don't love the photo thing. Yeah, I don't have to tell you. It's the equivalent to me of someone just coming up snuffing pictures of my face. Oh, no. Which I'm always like, get my good angle, but also. Let me post. Let me post. Have I got anything in my teeth?

I mean, look, I think that's just your life now with the dog. Is it? Yeah, I think it's forever now because you have a nice, good-looking dog who's fit, healthy and big. To be fair, I'd rather that than the number of times I get, well, who's walking who? I shut out. This is Jess and Rowan. Right now, this is interesting information coming out of the youth. Rowan.

Six-seven? Don't. Not again. Stop trying to be cool, man. No one knows. Actually, keep trying to be cool. We would like, we would like them to think we're cool. I am cool, man.

Just saying cool. That really makes you not. Uncools yourself. It does, doesn't it? Anyway. Yeah. When you think of the great Swedish musical group. Yeah.

Abba? Yeah. Who do you code their main fan base to be? Well, mine is different because I've been DJing. Okay. You are out of this question because you're going to bury the lead. For me, I, I love Abba, but it's because my parents who grew up in the disco era

love Abba. I told you just the other week they were in town and we saw the Abba tribute show. It was unbelievable. Sing along. It's obviously performers embodying Anieta, Frida, Benny and Beyond. My God, they don't have a bad song, Abba. But I really would have coded it, looking around that room of 500 people, 490 of them were over 60.

Yeah. I was one of the youngest by a mile. But that room, Rowan, and I know your dance floors will attest to this, is not accurate to who Abba's biggest fan base is. In 2026, according to data coming out of Spotify and social media, the biggest bracket of followers for Abba is aged between 18 and 24. Absolutely. More than any other demo. You know, I always start. Basically, if I have to just start it blank and it's already, there's no music and I have to just start and there's east people in the room, I'm starting with.

Every time, man. And it's not just the six-year-old ladies reliving their flared youth running to the dance floor. It's the youngies. They love it. Because I think they love a remix as well, right? 121-year-old who was interviewed recently, she goes, the dance floor bangers, the remixed Abba songs are unbelievable. Me and my friends are obsessed. This one.

Man After Middline. There was a guy in Melbourne called Sergeant Slick that remixed this. Was he the first? He's the first. Did he give it the revival? Bonkers in Melbourne. Like bonkers, bonkers. Man After Midnight is what this Abba tribute show opened with.

Because they know. It's just... They know. As soon as they hear that... Generation... Gen Z and even Gen Alpha to a degree. Gen Z currently aged between 14. and 29, they are the biggest demographic of social media followers for ABBA.

And half of the streams of ABBA songs on Spotify in 2025 were reported from teens and young adults. Well, I mean, half their original fanbase is dead now, so that makes sense. Wow. That does make sense. 17 billion views globally with the hashtag ABBA. Two thirds of these clips were watched by 18 to 24 year olds. And yes, TikTok obviously has a younger demographic. Yep.

Oh, what a song. The movies did good work for Abba. Merrill, obviously, Amanda Seifred. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. So if you're out there as a parent, you're going, I don't know what the kids like these days in music. Abba.

Put on your Abba playlist. Maybe keep the flares for another day. Let's just start them slow with Man After Midnight. Mama Mia. I like Vulevoo. You like Vulevoo? Oh, mate, Vulev. That's a great song.

Super Trooper. Waterloo, what they won Eurovision back in the 70s with. Is that how it happened? That's how they burst onto the public scene. And you know they were coupled up. Yeah, yeah. They'd be swinging for sure. They were, wow.

They're for sure swinging. Then they both got divorced and then kept writing music. Winner takes it all after the divorces. Taking what all? Wow. This is Jess and Rowan. Produces Diary, do that next to wrap up the week. Well, what are we going to do with Jess and Rowan?

Sorry, one sec. Just going to hit the 6-7. That was really lame. Don't do that. Oh, that was bad for you. Well, talking one night stands, then Jess hit us with this fun fact from her past. Do you know how many proposals I've had? What?

No, how many? What? After one night? Not after one night. I'm not that good. I have had. Finished five minutes later. I love you, marry me.

Yeah. How many? Four. One, I said yes. Well. So I must be all right. Four? Four.

So you said no three times? So maybe I'm, maybe I'm giving you accurate. How I never heard even one? I've broken up with boys. Right. And they have gone. So they went, well, what am I meant to do with the ring now? Cairs.

Sell it. Thank you. That's exactly what I said. I don't know. In how long of a period? Like, just, were they all kind of together? First one? First one would have been three years?

Obviously it was a no, no, no. Yes. But like, what's there? Absolutely. Three year relationship, four year relationship. One of them was short. How short? months. Do you reckon those boys

kept the ring? I'd love to know. And then proposed eventually to their, they are now partnered. You might be able to find them because they've blocked me. Interesting. Maybe we could find the first girl's ring and be like, that's something I would have liked. Dutch Olympian,

euda leeredum, flushed her bra at the Winter Games, and now Nike are going to pay her one million bucks. This gave Jess some inspiration. I always get my titties out. No one's no one's paying me. No one's paying you. No one's right.

Look. Hey, I'll give you a mill. Shy Guy, get it out. Can Intimo give me a mill? Sorry. Sorry, Shy Guy. You didn't have a mill? I definitely don't have a mill.

No. I'll take 100 bucks. Do you reckon? That's three flushes to you? Zero bucks. You're not getting anything for me. You're going to have to pay me one million. It's too bad Rowan doesn't have the million bucks to pay Jess

because she does have a renovation to pay for after all. She had this drama in a. a new bathroom. The onsuit, my friend. Oh, my God. It's too small to have a double basin. The window is now looking over the streets. So the neighbours are going to say?

One basin. Oh, no. The only thing I wanted in the whole Renault was a double. Because if you tried to brush your teeth at the same time as your partner, are you knocking elbows, can't spit. Yeah, we don't do well together. It's not good. So the double basin, to me, I go, if we're renovating,

Can we please eliminate that problem? We've just got like a really long sink. Great idea. I'm not a builder. On what planet? What do you get one of those things that the horses drink out of? A trough! You and I, my friend?

Design a great house. We would design an amazing house. No, no. You would design a very functional house, but would it be very aesthetic and pleasing. It's all about the tiles anyway in the bath and everyone knows that. This is what horses drink from. Plenty of room. You're basically putting a urinal.

wall as the... Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea. Who doesn't want that? Rowan's been taking care of himself. He's eating well, stop the coffee for one morning and has started moisturising? Very important question. What moisturising user? It is a special

one. I have this brand called Your Coat, which is like specially like... Sounds like something for a horse. I know. It doesn't sound good, does it? Red bottle. Did you get it from a vet? Red bottle. Can't get moisturiser from pet bar? And I've been doing the double pump with Your coat.

Your coat is not for humans. It is. It's got to be for an animal. It is. It's not. Your coat. Your coat. Holy shit.

Am I, wait, stop. I'm Googling it. No, it's a human brand. No. Your coat. Skin care. No, no. The brand's called yours only.

Sorry, skin and coat. Look at that. It's pets park. Yeah, babe. That's a different product. Idiot. Look, this one. Look, yours only.

It's yours only. And then it's I was using the bottle. Because they also, pardon me, have wash. So I'll be using that to. Pets Park. Don't go straight to the Pets Park, mate. By the way, that's 45 scoops. That's food.

Does your girlfriend Lucy that give you a smacker? Good boy, let me put your moisturiser on. Yeah, get on my knees and go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Sometimes we go a bit off track with what's written down on the board here in the studio. I don't know how we got on to Headwig's death in Harry Potter. But here it is. I haven't even got that far in all the series. I didn't know he died.

The owl? The owl. The owl died? Yes. Trying to protect Harry. Getting shot. Well, there's no guns in Harry Potter. He got Avada Kadarvind.

He got Gadda. Are you kidding? By he or shall not be named? Nah, I was not even. Do you like that? All right. Because they all do all like that. None of them got up this.

Why can't they just do that? They all go, Daugat! See you next week, Rice Cookers. Adio. Of the week. Oh, new little... I was giving headwig.

Let's not go there again. No, if you would like to say Rowan put his whole body and soul into avataka cada cadaver. I also didn't think you're going to say headwig. I went... Well, I did. Yeah. Jess and Rowan on socials, make sure you are following us because, actually, that's a great segue. Thank you.

Cooker of the week can come from calls, texts, DMs or comments. But you've got to be following us if it's a DMs. more comment. Yeah, no, if you're not following you, remove yourself from the winning aspect of the DM. We so appreciate the contributions this week. You elevate us.

Yep. We elevate you with some prizes. Abs. What am I saying? What we doing? We didn't even think about that. That was amazing. Just how good we are.

What's the prize this week? Sweet Rowan, Maxwell Edwards. Oh, sweet Jessica Lee. Fouchione. Just remember. From a, not from a family member, just from a good student. That's right.

my mum's favourite student when she was a primary school librarian. $500 to spend at Recreation Beauty. Award winning natural fragrances inspired by Bondi Beach Nature. Thank you, Recreation Beauty for helping us elevate the cookers. Earlier this week, Rowan, you told us a story about a small child yelling something at you when you were at the shops. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. That was the genesis of this. Danda!

That's right. The mum, Taylor. Similar build. I went, okay. Fat, thanks a lot. Honorary mention to Taylor, because she did call the show. show. She was a lot of fun actually. She was a vibe. Well, what other similarity? She goes, stocky.

Yeah, okay. Well, now you just got a massive. She said stocky. And then that lady, who's that lady that DM'd us saying, Roll also looks like my husband? That's right. And her husband is ginger ninja. Looks, in my opinion, nothing like you. But you both had a mustache. I appreciate her dodging into the show. That's right. Thank you. Another honorary mention. But off the back of that conversation, Rebecca texts the show. And she said, my daughter yelled out at swimming lessons. Mom, look, you were right.

Men can have boobs too. Maybe another stocky gentleman who had a little bit of a cup going on. Oh, a little bit. Sounds like a couple of big cups. Beck, you have won the cooker of the week. Thank you for getting involved. You are the winner.

Yes, you are the winner. And we're back again next week with that. 500 to spend it in genia holidays. That's amazing for your next holiday adventure. Look at us, just making dreams come true. I love it so much. What's on for the weekend? Ro Ro Ro.

I think I'm going, I just. I just texted my girlfriend Lucy there and just, I think I'm going down to urban surf. You ever heard of urban surf? Is that the one where it's like the man made and you stand on the board? Yeah, I can't surf. But the in-laws are mad surfers down right down the coast of bawly beach. They live down there and they come up all the time. I think I'm going down and say good-day. I'll just sit there with a coffee and watch them kill it. And you'll shout encouraging words. Yeah, actually one of one of my nieces, I'm calling them my nieces, yeah.

Oh, that's cute. Ulah is a mad snowboarder. So maybe she might get to the winter games one day. How old Ulah? She knew the guy, she knew the half pipe, or the big air guy, the dude with the curly hair that got bronze or silver. Not Scotty James. Sorry, no, no, no, he got into the final. Big Air.

Fair. But she knew him from the slopes, man. How old's Ulah? Ola. Ola, be 10? Rock on Ola. Nine or ten, maybe. Remember that name?

Ola. Ask me what I'm doing. What are you doing, baby? Man, I got my girls coming. Oh, yeah. My girls are coming. From Melbourne. Two have just landed.

Oh, the posh girls. The posh girls are coming. That's right. We've got a resort booked. Bikinis have been packed. And there will be multiple bottles of Prosecco consumed, obviously responsibly. What's the weather meant to be like? I think it's meant to be all right.

Okay. I think it's meant to be all right. Girls out with the girls out. We don't need the weather. We just need good chats and Proseco. We get it back. By the way, guys, Alpha bucks back. Seven and eight a half a hundred dollars.

And we've decided mixing up a bit. If you get nine, we'll give you another go. So we had, bang. We've had two nines this year. Yeah. And we thought, God, it's unsatisfying a nine. Yeah. What if we immediately reset the clock, gave them a fresh 10?

I love that. Because the momentum is there. So as of Monday, you're right, Rowan. You get nine, we will immediately start again with a fresh sheet. Thinking like redemption round or something. Immediate redemption. How often does life give you an opportunity to do that? Jess and Rowan will.

Jess and Rowan will. As of Monday, have a wonderful weekend. We'll see you then. Bye. Bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. The El Maco is back at Macers. Try the new range today.