Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Do you ever say sorry to a mannequin?

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

We reacap Coachella, ask what does your kid sleep through and has Rohan cracked the wedding code?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Calling all K-pop demon hunter fans The Huntrix and Sartja Boys meals And now at Maccas Here we go! Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Welcome to the podcast guys. How you buddy doing? Mate, great show.

Great show for a Monday. I know we're staring down the barrel of our first five-dayer in a while after Easter, a couple of four days. But it was a strong Monday. Yeah, felt strong, felt good. I woke up actually quite early this morning. Did you?

Just naturally. Yeah, I woke up natural. I mean, because it's a day like savings, It's going to be puckering around a bit. Oh, that's right. You like the cows in Queensland. No, it's a moo. I'm one of the great moors.

Hey, we're trying to teach Lee to you to her. When we go past the fields and there's cows, we roll down her window and she has to yell out, Hey, cow! One of the funny things, my mother used to do it with lambs when we'd drive around. She'd go, ma'am! And it was scared the shit out of us. Lamb? Yeah.

She goes, ma'am! Don't know if you want to be scaring the babies. Poor lamb. Cows can handle it. Yeah, I like, you ever play hay cows? No, what's hay cows? Is that when there's like... You just yell out, hey cow.

Is I playing hey cow? Well, playing hey cow is how many cows look at you. Oh. So you've got to go past, this is obviously like if you're like on a bit of a regional drive. Sure. A bit of a drive around. Yeah.

When we got to visit the in-laws, they're out on property. We pass. You could play hay cow. We pass a lot of counts. You got to put your head out, window down and just a, hey cowl! However you do it is like if you, if six cows look at you. Oh. Six points.

What are you laughing at, Shiger? You turn you, Michael. I don't know. He's a dumbest thing about it. That's not. Dude, hey cows. Hey cow. Isn't it funny?

I feel like I've inadvertently been playing but didn't know the point system. You got to lean into it because you just go, hey cows. You don't get any looking at you and you lose. Can you do hay horse? Yeah, whatever you want. I might do hay horse. Yeah. Oh, what about hey bull?

I feel like that's 10 point. Hey goat. Hey goat. Well, if there's bulls in there and cows and you only yell hay bulls and you only get one bull looking at you. But if you'd only get for hey cows and you get seven, you would only get for one point, which is stupid. Bull needs to be worth more is what I'm saying.

Why? Because they're mean motherfugglers. Same fit. They aren't like the same thing. Nah, bull. Cow's are friendly. Bulls. If you can get a bull to look, I reckon that's a ten-poena.

My granddad used to have bulls. My granddad used to have bulls. And I got in there once because I wanted to say good a day to it. Chase me. It was scary. So you're telling me that's not worth more than a cow? No. Fuck the bull.

You're just obsessed with cows. I do like my game, bro. I do like your game. I think it's stupid. That doesn't mean he doesn't like it. Yeah. You can like stupid things. Yeah.

Is it a Tasmanian thing? Maybe. It's the way they get their kicks. They only got colour television recently. You got 4G yet? No, I don't know if an BN out there? I don't think they have 5G. I wanted to read you this text.

So on the show today, you asked the question, what did your kids sleep through? Yeah, yep, yep. Text came through from Beck. We didn't have time to get to it. Okay, sorry, Beck. She said, I was carrying my nephew to bed, tripped on the vacuum,

dropped him onto a barrel. He slept through the whole thing. What? Number one, aren't he? Let's go. bounce it, and they're just fine. That's another question though, Beck. What'd you drop your kid onto?

Onto a barrel. Let's do that tomorrow. What'd you drop your kid on? Why was there a barrel near the vacuum? I'm assuming, like, in the living room? We could definitely do what'd you drop your kid on. Yeah, where'd you drop your kid? We'll talk about it off there.

We did, when we did a while ago, shy guy, we did something about like when if you felt like a bad parent, a woman said, I dropped my baby. But like the kid was fine. Remember that? Yeah, I do remember that. The kid was fine. I don't think she would have called the radio. It might have been a great prize that week.

She just wanted the win. I just tell me you've had enough Rowan, geez. That was rude. What happened? I was just like, oh, because we're off air now. I was like, oh, I can just get out of delays. I just turned the whole thing off. It's okay, nothing bad happened, guys.

Wasn't even shit canning Justin Bieber there. We were just talking about something relatively. Okay, that makes sense. Sorry, guys. I didn't know. I didn't know if you dumped it. Yeah, it turns everyone off but you. Yeah, yeah, no, but like.

Oh, that's the way he likes it. not in the on-air mode. We're in the record mode. Yeah, so it probably didn't work properly. No, it's off. Anyway, forget it. All right, let's just get out of here. Enjoy the show. Bye! Welcome. We've come for Jess and Rowland. Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast.

You know Jess. She said, oh, nice uterus. You'll get to know Rowan. Flip it off and spit out of it. It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. General, handy die. Oh, no. We told him not to rip ass.

He did it. Hey, guys, what are we talking about? Who cares? You want to see me juggle? This is Jess and Ryan. Best one yet. That's one yet. That's one yet.

Well done, team. Well, done, guys. Best one yet. Shout out to Shy Guy Babs and Audio Pabes. That has really made me chuckle. Funny. Oh, Rowan, it actually is a bit of sweet Monday, isn't it? It's the last Monday we're going to have in a little while.

Oh, yeah. We've got professional development on the horizon, son. So milk it. Yeah. Milk it and enjoy it. I have a course I've got to do. I've got a course I've got to do too. Always trying to improve.

How many coconuts can I drink in two weeks? Geez. Glad you rolled on the next syllable on coconuts really quickly because, my God, I thought, Rowan, please, the mics are on. Sorry. Oh my God, not in Indonesia. No, you wouldn't. Is that Cassie?

No, it's Rowan. What's she up to? Isn't she in prison? I think so. I watched a documentary. It must have been within. Oh. Anyway, how was your weekend?

How are you feeling for this fine Monday? I can see you've got a hoodie on. Are you feeling a little chilly, sir? It was cold, man. Shy guy's got a hoodie on the same thing. You're the only one. Shy guy and Babs, hoodie patrol. Bab's looking extra whimsical today.

Isn't she just? She looks so cuddly. I just want to give her a squeam. But we don't touch Babs without permission. No, no. She doesn't want a hugger. You're a hugger. Yeah, a hug.

Thank goodness. The boy who used to sit in your seat, not a hugger. Didn't hugger. So I used to work with three non-huggers. Oh, really? No one would cuddle me. You know what I do? I hug and sometimes I like let it linger.

Yeah, that's so nice. Yeah, I like leave the hug going. Do you know, so I'm doing a side project, don't get jealous, with a clinical psychologist. I've got a podcast coming any day now. Any day? Any day. We've been working on about a year and a half. We're really fine-tuning this thing, shy guy.

But one of the things we talked about was, you know, dopamine, oxytocin. This is her field for a hug to have max benefit. 20 seconds. Oh, wow. You need to cuddle, linger 20 seconds. Oh, my goodness. To get the most benefit, like, genuinely scientifically, from a cuddle. So you're doing it right, my friend.

20 second. I don't know if I do 20 seconds, though. You don't go to 20, but you're doing more than two. Definitely more than two. The bro hugs everyone does these days, if you are going to get a hug from Shagai, he gives you the pat, like wrap it up. I'll call out the Christian cider hug too. You've seen those?

No, what's that? The Christian side hug. So your genitals don't touch. Yeah, yeah, the front front's don't touch. Also, it's hips. Yeah, wait. Oh, well. When you'd lean in, they go, how are you going?

Good to see. I go, turn your hips. Front me. Yeah. See, my issue with some people, not looking at shy guy specifically, but when there's height discreferency, I understand shy guy goes, I don't want you in my bosom. So it gets a bit like, your head is right in my chest. So if it was reverse, if I was that tall on you, you'd be motorboating me all over the shop.

Yep. You know, it's unequal. It's not fair. It's not fair. I only motorboat you. You never get to motorboat me. Write that down. Write that down.

That's next week to open up. Yeah, write that down. For the best of. For the best of. Because we're not here. That's right. Because we have a course. How many coconuts do you reckon that I'll have in two weeks?

I reckon you're doing multiple a day. I reckon you could do... I'm away for 12 nights. I don't think one an hour is accurate. I think you've got to pace it because you'll need other forms of hydration. I'm going to say six a day. Six. No, no, they're big coconuts?

Yeah. Six? Yeah, but you've got determination. I only do big coconuts over here, guys. You're a big coconut kind of guy. Six a day for 12 days. What's that? 36.

No, is that right? No, 60. 60. Yeah, it's like 70 of. Goodness gracious. I could do that. Six times 12. Is that 72, is it?

Yep. My goodness. I've got my six times tables. There's going to be a lot of coconuts. That's a lot of coconuts. Maybe that's too many coconuts. Wow, that coconut's in a bin-tang bottle. Wow, that coconut's in a peanut calada.

I'm so excited for you. Yes, it's really good. I wish our house was finished. I was really hoping to use this professional development, you know, the break time. Yeah. In amongst our course. Yeah.

To move into our house, but we're still. You don't get much time off, though, so it's okay. That's true. Non-stop work. Yeah, that's true. I'll just be lamenting, oh my God, I wish I could be, you know, setting up the cutlery drawer. But I thought this course to finish.

Oh, good doing it. All these modules to do. It was a good weekend, though. I filled in for a mate. He got food poisoning, so I DJed last minute, Saturday night. My husband told me, he goes, oh, I got to see Rowan today. I said, excuse me, you don't get to see Rowan without me. How dare you?

Well, he popped up at the wedding. I said, hello, guys, I'm here. Hello. Here he comes to save the day. Yeah, so that was fun. But I do have some wedding thoughts. We'll talk about later. Thoughts from a non-married man on getting married.

Oh. How good's that? Oh, I look forward to that. Yeah, I got a couple of thoughts. Then you can give me your thoughts on being a parent from a non-parent. I've got plenty of those. That could be a whole series we do with Rowan actually. Yeah, actually, let's do that.

I want your hot take on things. You have no business. Hot taking. I've got hot takes on a lot of things like that. I know you, yeah, great. This is the perfect job for you. Great. Fantastic.

I too had a wonderful weekend. Sharkye Babs, good weekends all round. Yes. Good weekends all round. Good weekend. Oh yeah, you were with your new friend. I did. I had coffee with my friend, which is nice.

the reconnected foe from high school. We actually are friends now. How's your book club formation coming along? Weren't you guys going to start a book club? Yeah, we talked about logistics on the weekend, and we just need one more person, and we're already almost set. Shagai. Chargoe.

Would you be interested in joining a book club? Sorry, no. You want to think about that? No, I don't need to think about that. I've actually had a few DMs about people who want to join my book club, Babs, and I don't want to take any new members, so maybe I'll palm them off to you. What are you again? Great, thank you.

You're welcome. Oh, it's nice. If you want to round it out to four people, there you go. Big show there, guys. We have Alpha bucks kids at after 8 o'clock. Make sure you've registered.hit.com.com. Regular alpha bucks at 7 o'clock for $10,000. And next, apparently you can talk to AI Jesus.

It's Jesus as aion. This is Jess and Rowan. Well, there is a AI Jesus. It's a dollar 99 a day. You can talk to God. That's pretty affordable. But in the grand scheme of me just getting down. on my knees and praying, which is a whole zero dollars, Rowan.

Yeah. Why am I paying a buck 99? Well, he would talk back to you, Shagai. Yes. Oh. Like an avatar. Yep. But it's coded.

It's not. Christian software engineer. No, it's not actually. Well, it could be Jesus. Jesus has gone through him. When you're on base time and you put like an emoji on your head, it's kind like that, but Jesus. Oh, it's like those boomers who get the potato fields are stuck on and they're doing a

presentation. How do I take this off? Christian software engineer. Cameron Pack. Other of us said Cameron Park and I was like, oh my God, they're close. Develop criteria to help believers interrogate apps designed for Christians.

Apps designed for Christians. Can't just be an app designed for everyone? Why does it need to be four Christians? I was going to say, is he like, nah, hinge, bumble, that's for heathens. We need a dating app just for Christians. Op Google Maps. That's for Heathens. We need a Christian maps. You know what else we need?

Jesus app. It's basically so that it must clearly identify itself as AI and must not fabricate or misrepresent the scripture. Oh, okay. So does Jesus only talk back in Bible verses? Well, it also says the AI cannot pray for you because the AI is not alive. Well, if I'm paying $2 a day, I would like it to pray for me. Absolutely.

Shagai, you have been diligently trying to talk to Jesus this morning. Yeah. Any updates? It wanted 49.95 up front. We're not doing that. All up front. Yeah. Monthly subscription.

50 bucks a month is a bit steep. It's a bit steep. As I said, if I really just open my heart, I think I can hear Jesus talking about. You go to your local church for free. That's right. I'm back watching The Righteous Gemstones again. What's that? One of the great, great, great show.

You would love it. It's right up reality. I've never heard of it. It's on like HBO Max or like you can get it on Amazon Prime. Is it humans or is it animated? It's Danny McBride. I love Danny McBride. It's him, John Goodman.

Someone said from the back, you look like Danny McBride. And I was like, love that. I'm not mad of it. about it. It's basically him and his family and they run like a big Hillsongy church, but it's all about like how much money they can make and it's all corrupt and it's like, it's so funny. Okay.

Walton Goggins as well. Love him. It's so funny. What's it called? The righteous gemstones. The righteous gemstones. Is that the name of the church? Okay.

Oh no. The church is called Gemstone church. Sure, sure, sure. They just released a streaming service called GODD. GEMs on digital demand. God. Is it more than a buck 99? Yeah, it'd be like a thousand dollars.

Oh, they're ruining the community. Yeah. This is Jess and Rowan. Bruno Miles was at Coachella on the weekend. And apparently he is now debt free, he said. Do you see that, Chuggar? Yeah. He's now, because never he owed the casinos.

Yeah, the casino's like 60 million. Oh, Peter Jean Hernandez. Hey, hey, yes. So he has been in debt for many years and his Coachella pay slip has just got him back to zero. No, I don't think, I don't think he was actually in debt for many years. But he was in debt like 60 mill or something because of just all the, he is so rich. And then that's why he was doing all those Vegas shows. Oh, and I have heard Vegas residences pay very prettily.

Yeah, Angus, Angus, Anderson Pack was on stage with Bruno because now they have Silksonic. I love Anderson. And he made a quick, like, casino joke and plato of them casinos. And he was like, all right, I'm now debt free. So you think everyone cheered. Oh, my God. Celebrities, man, they're just like us. Well, 60 million.

Okay, maybe not just like us. Everyone has $60 million mortgage. Their means are a little greater. Very nice from you, Shagai. Very nice from you. Coming in hot on a Monday. Do you know what's funny? I'm just going through my emails this morning during the song,

and Angus has just asked for some pay slips because we need, obviously, to prove something at a bank. And I'm like, Chagay, how do I show my, how do I get my face? He says at a cafe. Like, look, I told you, she makes this much. Give us some more money. She's the most expensive freaking tuesday. tiles. I wanted micro cement in the onsweep.

What the hell? It's micro cement. Yeah, I'd never heard of it either. It's not a fit. What do you mean? It's basically like textured paint. They put it in a blender. Oh, that sounds fun actually.

Small cement. I don't know, man, but it's a lovely effect. Small cement, double the price. Dreble. It's so expensive. And so me being an absolute interior design expert. No, I went, could we get the same effect just by going swishy, swishy with a paint brush.

I would have thought the same thing. I would have thought the same thing. Lil, our interior designer and Angus went, no, but if that's what you want, we can save on the microsome. How much? How much? In Australia, typically costs between 200 and 600 per square meter. Are you joking?

Last GST. Sorry, Rowan. What's a square meter? Square, is a meter? Meter, meter. But thank you, Shiger. You're like me. I don't know how much things are.

You can get paint for $4 a square meter, but my Cresement. 600. 600 is going to mean. Do you think Angus knows all the things that he says that he does? Because Lil and him are like, oh, no, that wouldn't happen. Do you reckon he's heard micro cement and going, that sounds expensive? Lil knows it's expensive.

And he goes, you don't want that. But he's lying. To be fair, Rowan, to Angus and his love for me, he gets me samples. He actually explores these things. Oh, yeah. And then crunches the numbers and goes, we can't make it work. So he does. He's a very good husband.

husband. He's a good husband. Coming up on the show, I see Rowan wants to talk about thoughts from a non-married man. Can I give you thoughts from a married man? Yeah. Happy wife. Happy life. Forget it. And people, any time I say that, people go, it's not happy wife, happy life. It's happy spouse, happy house.

I mean, I should be making him happy too. I do my bit. What do you do? Don't you worry? What do you do? I do my bit. What bit? It's a bit where I take this off, I go over there, and then I go over it.

I send him my pay slips when he asks me. to send me and send him my pacelifts. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I get it. Anyway, you want me to tell you about this? Yeah, yeah, go on. So yesterday I had to host an event.

Yeah. It was a fantastic event. But at the end, I was having a chitty chat with someone, and a bloke was sort of lingering, trying to get my eye. And I said, oh, you're right, champion? He goes, this is what he says to me. He goes, when you've finished here, come have a drink with us, thank you. And walked away.

I went, what's, I've never had that before. I was like, this guy's got constructive criticism for me. I can already feel it. It wasn't like I want to buy you a drink. It's come have a drink with us after you've finished here. So I saunter over with my most charming smile on, trying going, try and defuse any, that's a great impression of me, try and defuse any of the tension that I thought was building.

I sit down, he and his partner. Said you have a great time, how we feel and what did you, what did you want to chat about? And he goes, I just needed to say. And these are the words verbatim. I wrote it down. I didn't want to get it wrong. Good one, yeah.

I just wanted to tell you, you are obviously, very comfortable in your own skin. And the look on my face back to him, he clarified Rowland. And he goes, you've just clearly not had any work done. And I don't know, Rowan, whether I'm meant to take that as a compliment or an insult. Because I think he meant it as a compliment, I mean, you're comfortable in your own skin. You know, you'll work in the room. You have no shame.

There's any double down on you haven't had work done. You clearly haven't had any work done. Because to me, listen, this is, I don't know what to take it either. But to me, it sounds like if he was, by saying, you have, clearly haven't had any work done with their comfort with their own skin. He is saying that he wouldn't be comfortable and he would have had work done. If I look like you, insult. I would have had a facelift, yes.

This is Jess and Rowan. We need your help on the text line. 048-18-106.9. We're going to do a new thing called hot off the press. Hot off the press. Now, something that Rowan and I, and by extension, shy guy and babes, we are inundated with working in this industry. Press releases. Press releases.

So many of them. The latest information, the latest study, survey piece of research. Most of them, delete. Most of them delete. But some of them catch our attention. Why don't I play a little bit of like a, we'll do a hookah, we'll do like a headline. Okay. So what we thought we could do is, instead of just deleting all of them,

let's put two up against each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the cookers get to decide which one we actually unpack next. Like, I'll go first. Sure. Give me your headline. How are you going to tantalize me? Teens.

The Super K flu threat grows amid falling vaccination rates. Do you want to hear? More on that. Yeah. 04-8-8-1069. Text Rowan or Superflu. Is I wonder what you said? Yeah, the Super K.

Super K flu. I mean, I've got questions. Yeah. But. All right, what's yours? Okay. Hit me. Employees.

are outperforming their managers. Find out more next. Or will you? Or will you? 0488-1069. Get involved. Or, if you'd like to hear more about how we employees are doing better. In what?

Or if you want to hear Rowan's Super K-Flu. We will unpack one of the two press releases, depending on who you vote for. This is Jess and Rowan. We are doing a new thing called. hot off the press where we find one of our millions of press releases we get sent a week. Bring it to you guys, give you the headline. This is the first time we're doing it.

Because you know what launched this last week, Rowan. I brought you from my friend Carmen. Oh, Carmen. At the University of Newcastle. Hope you well, Carmen. Hope you well, Cam. She gave us the press release, that new survey say if we just let kids wear their P-U uniform all the time, it would increase physical activity.

And geez, didn't our boss, Jay's, really? rip me a new one being like, what world are you living? I said, I thought that was interesting. It was kind of like... So maybe I didn't start with Calm's strongest press release. We get others. Yeah. So we both put a headline out to the cookers.

Yes, mine was the super cave flu threat grows amid falling vaccination rates. And mine was employees are outperforming their managers. So now shy guy is going to give us the final tally on who has won in the text line. With 80% of the vote, Jess. Oh, no one wanted to hear about the super K that is too much like COVID, but I want to do it. Because you know what the sad thing is, Rowan.

We will now never... Never know. Touch on it. I won't even ever find out what the K stands on. Sorry, Booper. No free press for you. Fucked in. They got it anyway.

So not from Calm. Not really? You're... Not from Carmen. You have from Booper. That was a Booper media release. It's two brand mentions now. They are winning.

What brand are you going to throw? Mine comes from Combank. The bank. Which bank? Combank. They have a behavioural science team. I'll be honest, Rowan. I thought you were going to win, so I didn't continue to read my press release.

I stopped reading mine. I was like, oh, I wonder if Jess is going to win. Combank's behavioural science team. I've never seen research come out of Combank's behavioural science team. They've done enough money. They have revealed that three in four Aussie employees, that's a good percentage, 76%. Yeah. Can spot a scam compared with only 50% of senior management.

Really? So the average, you know, just fair dinkum, down-to-earth employee, better at spotting scams in their work inbox, maybe are coming across their desk. They can do it better than the top dogs. This just says to me, managers don't care. Managers don't care. They don't have their finger. on the polls as much as the blue collar.

This is amazing. Recognising a scam does not always prevent it. Unfortunately, two in five employees and one in five managers felt suspicious but did not act. So didn't stand up and go, hey, guys, there's a funny look at an email here warning their colleagues. They may be sat on that information leading to someone down the hall. Well, I've never seen anyone get hit with your band from IT more than shy guy. Yeah, you're absolutely. Remember when last year, Rowan, you weren't here, but I had a warning that said I had, quote from IT,

infected the network. Infected the network. He had to hand over his laptop. And then had to take my laptop and, what I will assume, incinerate it. Really? He had to hand over the hardware because he's been watching so much NSFW under the guys of the show. And then a few weeks ago, they tried, they tested me again with a Suss email. Yeah.

And I clicked on it. And then the website was like, oh, S-GA, we're testing this. I remember. You've fallen for it. Do you training again? I said, that's not happening. And then you said to us, I wanted to see what would happen if I clicked it so that I already knew it was. I was testing it.

I was fake. No, you didn't know. He was testing the testers. So unfortunately, Shiger, I don't think you're falling in the 70s. Have you done the training yet? No. Do the, bro. You got to do the trade.

That's where falling over. He's bringing the whole show into disrepute. You are the captain of this program. And according to Combank's behavioural science. team, the employee, we're meant to be better at it than the management. Well, you know, just... And you're our tech guy, shy guy. Anyway, you are tech guy.

If I'd read on, Rowan, because again, as I thought Super K, people might want the Super K. There's grabs. Combank have sent us audio grabs to have used from the chief, from the chief behavioral scientist at CBA, Will Mailer. Well, there was no... There was no audio... grabs from Bupa. From Bupa.

Well, from now on, this is a beta test of this segment. Do you think it went well? I think it went well. Shiger, you're going to have to get all the assets, though, for depending who wins. Yeah, so depending on if there's grabs in the media release, you must load them into the system. Because now I feel bad we'll never hear from William Mailer. Well, you can still play the grabs in your own time. I could play them in my own time.

And you know what, if you want the grab, 04-8-18106, I'll send it to you. This is Jess and Rowan. Alfa Bucks. Jess and Rowans, 10K alpha bucks on hit. That's right. $10,000 for you if you get all 10 questions right in 30 seconds with the same letter. Playing this morning at 7 o'clock is Kurt. Hello to you, mate.

Good morning, guys. How are we? Good, good, good. We couldn't be better, but you've got something exciting happening in your family. Yes, my beautiful son and his beautiful partner just told us that we're going to be, my wife and I are going to be grandparents for the first time. Yay! Congratulations.

Now, Grandpa, have we thought about what name we're going to go with? Is it going to be Grandad? Is it Poppy? What do you want to be known as? I'm going to be called Uper, actually. Upa. Upa. Upa. Upa.

I'm sure the $10,000 is going to be spent on baby stuff, toys. Maybe a new wardrobe for Upa. We've got to start dressing the part. The letter you are going to work with today is B. B for baby. Okay. Sounds good.

All righty, let's rock, Kurt. Your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter B. We need you to name. A fruit. Banana. Something in the shed. Barrow. A boy band.

Back Street boys. A currency. A horse. An animal. Bandicoot. A sport. Baseball. An Australian Prime Minister.

A European city A flower A flower? An adjective Some bloody great answers in there A couple of tricky ones at the end, yes Dandacut Fantastic

Great answer, Bandacote I went, yeah baby Something in the shed, you say Barrow I don't know, it's a wheelbarrow, isn't it? I don't know if Barrow is the umbrella term I don't... I think it's a wheelbarrow Can you have motor barrow? Where are you?

guys, give me one. I didn't get it anyway. Currency, could have had the barth, or the Thai barb, or the Ethiopian burr? I'd never heard of the burr. I've not heard of the burr either, thank you with the education. BIRR, okay, cool. A Eurocity, Berlin, flower. Banksia, is a begonia one?

Bagonia is one, my friend. Kurt, a valiant effort. Valian effort, sir. Thank you very much for joining the show, Uppah. Thank you very much for giving us a go, guys. Good on you, mate. Absolute pleasure. Good luck with The Bebe.

The Bebe. All right. Next, obviously we know Coachella is on. Want to talk about some of the prices of the things over there. It is redonculus. Okay. We will do that next. After a little live Coachella version of Homewrecker from Somba.

This is Jess and Rowan. All I've heard people talking about Sabby Kat and Justin, I can't believe I missed that Somba was there. Would have gone? I forgot. Would she? Just Somba? No interest in Coachella.

I'll be honest with you. Really? You're fun at a festival. What do you mean? Oh my God, God love you. I think I've grown out of it, Rowan. We've had some wonderful splendor in the grass experience. What do you mean grown out of it?

I don't know. I just don't know how I haven't grown out. Well, that's why you go and get the nicer little spots. You pay for a little bit more. You don't have to hang out with the kids. Yeah, okay, okay. Plus, you know someone in festivals. I'm sure we figure something out.

I do know something out. Sleep. Actually, you know what? I don't, as in he, the kids, there's a whole thing. Okay. Write that down for tomorrow. Jess's whole thing with the kid and sleeping with her husband. As long as she sleeps through the night, who cares?

I'm getting too much information. Okay. So, yes, obviously Coachella's on. Seeing lots of things about the Coachella weekend. I get really put off by the idea of Coachella and how much it's going to cost me. Yeah, not just to get there. No, everything. Because the tickets are expensive, yeah.

What is an average just you and me, Joe Blow, no VIP, package just to get through the doors of Coachella. I think... How much is it? I don't actually know, but I'm pretty sure it's like... Should I, correct me if I'm wrong? It might be like 12, 300 bucks. Maybe 50 hundred bucks.

To walk through the door? Yeah, three-day festival. That's not counting me coming from Australia. It's definitely more than a thousand bucks. Starts at $649 for GA. Maybe I got it. Maybe I got it in my currency's wrong. Yeah, but you've probably added it on, because we're talking.

We need a conversation. So much. There's so much. Well, some of these prices, man. I've got a little list here that I saw from just some random Instagram thing. Credible source, obviously. If you want to charge your phone in one of those phone charging lockers, $90. $90.

You're in the desert, remember? You're in the desert. You need to charge your phone. You can't duck out. How are people going to know I saw Samba live if my phone dies? Exactly. $90. That'd be US too, right?

Yes, of course. $180, Australian. I mean, I would be buying this, but they're selling chicken with chicken nuggets with caviar for $125 for a plate. Too much. Why? Why are you doing that? Can I just have no caviar, thanks? Can I just have some chicken nugs?

Yeah, it's $60. Yeah, $60. All the resale tickets are going mad because people got really like, oh my God, why aren't I there? FOMO. The Bieber fever was hitting and we're like, we have to be. Why do we say no? the general admission went to $3,000 of the US. And that would have just been for the one day, because once it started, yeah?

It's not like you're getting access for the whole weekend at that point? No, that's weekend. Oh, you get the whole weekend. That's weekend. Oh, my gosh. All I hear are people complaining about how much you have to walk around. The GA with the shuttle is another $200 on top of that. So a $200 shuttle.

A little bus to take you around from the chicken nugget stand to Sabrina's stage to maybe the bathroom. I think it might just be a shuttle from the gate to get in. The town. What? The town. The cocella, yeah. Oh, no, I thought I was getting a private driver for the day, taking wherever I want to go. VIP is $5,000.

The resale tickets of $5,000 US in the moment. You're telling me that's the one I'd want because I don't want to deal with the thousands and thousand. How many people go? Like 100,000 people? Roughly 100,000. And there are the houses in Coachella now, because Coachella's obviously like a little town. Yes.

They're going from like $10,000 for the three days all the way to like a hundred. Hundreds. Yeah, like some of them are like two. one. What do we saw? We saw another one. The one, the one, the one, the one Kali-Generner's staying in, it was like $213,000. Yeah, but like, that's... That doesn't even, you pay that. That's not even off this world, is it? And if you wanted one of those single-day suites where you're like really roped off and

everything, good views, premium wants $40,000, and the ultra-premium is $75,000. This is the sad thing with festivals, Rowan. Like, you could actually be Justin Bieber's biggest fan. You cannot see him in situations like this, because it's genuinely price out the average person. You know, Pearl Jam, like, started Coachella because they didn't want, they didn't want all the fans to pay heaps for tickets. And then the Coachella started, yeah, it's become exactly what we're. Similar to some of the sporting events.

Didn't we have this same conversation around the Australian Open? They become influencer events pricing out the average music fan or the average sport fan. It's actually really sad. This was, I mean, this was a girl last year about complaining about food and drink. It's weekend one of Coachella, and I just spent $64 on this really good juice. And two breakfast burritos. Capitalism is crazy and I'm a part of the problem. Sorry, a juice and two brecky burritos was $64.

It would be like $100 Australia. Forget about it. You could probably... Ah, forget about it. You forget about it. You would save up just to get your ticket and then realize, oh, I can't eat or drink now for three days because I can't afford anything. Yeah, $23 for a burrito. It means it.

It's not. I saw a photo. Sloppy? It's pretty gross. Sloppy. Probably sloppy. It's re-eated. Probably don't get any honey.

I do you? No, wait. No. I still want to go, though. I still really want to go to Coachella. I've got some friends over there at the moment. You know, we should go? Burning Man.

That's a way more our vibe. This is Jess and Rowan. It's Pete. Here breakfast. You and your hands. Just waving at a friend. Nothing too weird. Pink's talking about someone else's hand.

It's just you and your hand tonight, waving at friends. Just waving at friends. It's nice to wave at friends. This is Palmer and her five daughters, mostly. Nice. Yeah, I'm walking down the street. Hey, girls. Nice to wave at yourself sometimes.

Totally. We should be a friend to ourselves. We should always be waving to ourselves. Do you ever walk past a mirror or some sort of reflective surface, maybe a shot window and then go, hey, I know that person. That's me. Never. You've never done that. You've got a bit?

Are you real? No, no, no, no. In the periphery, I go, I know that person and I go to greet. It's me. That's not normal. Does she do it a bit? I thought you're going to be like Are you joking?

No, people do that. No, next thing you're going to tell me you've never like accidentally waved at a mannequin and thought it was a person. No, I've never done that. You've never accidentally kicked the toe of a mannequin and got, oh, sorry, and then realised it was a mannequin. You're going in, what are you just going into? Yeah, what are you doing?

They just have like a, I don't know. Okay, a foot I meant. I didn't really notice. I just accidentally kick a thing. Oh, sorry. Yes, and then you realize, oh, you're made of plastic. Never. Never.

I thought you're going to say, walk past the reflections, see how good you look. I did that all the time. Obviously, you're gorgeous. You're doing so well today, Rowan. You'll put this outfit together superbly. Anyway, I had an experience, Rowan. Tell me if I handled it correctly or incorrectly.

Did she say sorry to it? No, but I had to apologise to someone. Oh, okay, right, right, right. Girlfriend and I recently got massages, all right? We're sitting there waiting for our appointment time. Lovely, serene woman comes over and says, Ashley, you're with me. Follow me.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Ashley. And I'm sat there being like, where's my person? Where's my guy? Anyway, well, yes. Funny you say that. Oh. Young bloke walks over.

Oh. Hello, Jessica. You are with me. Nice Spanish accent. Oh. And I went, oh, this guy's obviously just showing me to my room where a lady will proceed to massage me. He follows me into the room, closes the door.

Oh. I went, oh, no. Where's the lady? Where's the lady? She coming in a minute. I don't. I don't want. want a dude massaging me, Rowan?

Strong hands. Like, with thick arms or what do you think? Strong hands? I just don't want a dude massaging me. Maybe physio in like a, I don't know, massages I want to relax and like ooze into it. I don't want a dude massaging me. What if he's like a real good masseuse? Well, this is the thing, Rowan.

And he's a bit, was a bit hot? After an hour. Was he a bit hot? We come out. And as I said, Ashley had started earlier. So she's waiting for me. I walk out. after the hour.

She goes, were you talking the whole time? Because we were in neighbouring rooms. I said, yes, Ashley, I had to talk the whole time. She goes, he didn't. Didn't you want to be relaxed? I said, no, because I don't let, you know, massage is essential and lovely and you want to feel like you're melting into the bed.

I don't want Eduardo making me feel like that. Really? I just was quite, but because I'm entering. non-confrontational and I didn't want to wait any longer. I didn't want to say, can I not have you? No, no man. I want a lady. Would you pay for it?

Of course I paid for it. This was not Spongod. That's not what I meant. I meant if it's your money, she'd go like, hey, I just, I would like a woman to do this, please. Yeah, but who do I tell? Eduardo was the one walking me to the room. I had no other contact with any other people. I reckon Eduardo would have gone, yep, makes sense.

I get some more time off. Wait your turn. I reckon he would have been more. But they got back-to-back booking, so maybe I wouldn't be. It's like, well, you've got Eduardo or no. one because we've got now appointments. Well, that's on them. They should have said it.

You're going to have a mate. I agree with you, Rowan. I think it needs to be specified. But this is a thing to get around it because I was keen for a massage. Yeah. Chattered the whole time. And I must say, a very pleasant young man. We had a great conversation, but we talked the entire time, including,

now this is where I say, have I done, have I done the wrong thing or the right thing? Oh, yeah. Okay. I just wanted to eliminate any sense of. tenderness, okay? That's his job. So he has asked me, who are you here with today? Never in my life have I called a female friend, a girlfriend.

You know, people do that. I just, it's not part of my vernacular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this moment, my brain made that creative choice. And I said, oh, with my girlfriend. And he went, maybe it's the language barrier, but he went, oh, how did you meet? So I said, oh, well, actually at work. And I just lent into.

the whole. Bumble. This is. Well, I actually said, she was kind of my boss. She was, she was my old, old, old shy guy.

She was my executive producer way back when people might remember producer Ash. Should I love that. So I really just, I really lent into the whole my God, I love that. Yeah, we're mad. A couple of years ago, actually,

we're just here on holiday. They cares, didn't it? But then as, as the conversation continued, we started talking about travel and I nearly said, Last year I was in Italy with my husband and I went, last year I was in Italy with my girlfriend and just really. You changed it up?

I did because then I didn't want to make him feel like his language, his English wasn't great by confusing him. So I had to make it all about Ash the girlfriend. Your girlfriend. My girlfriend. But we're at like a soak place, you know, where you can then do the mineral pools. So I was telling Ash about it.

I'm like, hold my hand for a bit. There he is. Quick. We've got a whole day. Because I didn't want him to think I'd lied. So then we had to act for 60 minutes We didn't snooch But no

Well, Ash would actually be like Well if we have to kiss we'll kiss Like Ash would like How far you're going to do Just as much as you do This is Jess and Rowan So Lucy's nephew Has just come out of hospital actually

Poor little thing He's like two Oh goodness Just had something in his leg Poor thing Poor thing But he's out He's out

He's out So Lucy was like I'm going to go down And I'm seeing him Auntie Lucy is a very good aunt Sweet Auntie Lucy Do she have like a fun name You know

Some of the Auntie You know, they go Auntie Rara or Auntie Lala, you know, does she have, like, can the kid not say Lucy? She just gets Lucy. Okay. Auntie Sisi. This nephew calls me Nicole. I don't get it.

It's a very straight. It's kind of like Maya Vincent. It's a bit weird. Anyway, it's a very strange. The nephew call, are you uncle Nicole or just Nicole? His point says, Cole! It's not me, man. It's not me, bro.

Surely that's wrong, dude. You have so many nicknames. You should be uncle sugar pong fit me. They call me sluggy. Sluggy, yeah. I hate that. Yeah, I kind of hate it too, but it's all right. They can do it.

They're under 10. That's true. I've been called much worse, you know. Hate worse. True. Regularly. Mostly at the Instagram at the moment I'm getting get a job, fatty, like I'm getting it all. Yeah, that's because you rage bait people about the Coles chickens.

You know what you're doing wrong. You know your followers are going up every day. You're angering the internet. Oh, no. Yeah, I love it. But Lucy went and saw Sean and her brother. Brother picked Lucy up. And he's a mad, like, heavy metal guy.

Picked Lucy up from the train station. He's a mad, heavy metal guy. It's what he loves. All the stuff, right? If it's loud and angry, he's into it. Lucy jumps in the car. And she's like, oh, this is hectic, but it's Josh. It's be like this forever.

And then she looks back behind. And Sean's asleep. The little two-year-old is asleep in the same. the back. He's sleeping through the heavy metal. I've, I don't, never really listen to this music at all. The video she sent me, let me just give you a little bit of a piece of what the song is. Shai guy said, we can only give you five seconds because it's hectic.

Oh. Ready for this? This is what Sean, the two-year-old. This is the heavy metal that the dad was playing. Yeah, and he'd been in hospital for a week and he was asleep in the back of the car, and this is what Dad was playing. And he only woke up because Lucy went, Shawnee, and he went, hello? Oh.

How do you sleep through Lamb of God? And I also appreciate Shagai. You've not given us any of the lyrics there. I couldn't. I couldn't. Yeah, what's it? Foothy. Couldn't.

But I assume it wasn't just that little instrumental bit the boy was sleeping. He was sleeping through the screaming. He's just so used to it. They say you don't tip-tire around kids. This is why. You can play your own music. True. They do say you need to be vacuuming, putting on the washing machine.

Let the dog bark when the kids are in their infancy. So they get used to it. Yeah. Wow. So dad must have been playing the lamb of God. Lamb of God. Lamb of God has never got to run all this station before. That song is called Laid to Rest.

Oh, yeah, it's all that. Oh, that's enough. Not for me. You've got to, I mean, the kids just come out of hospital, dad. Surely we can put on something a little gentler. There's all these books on parenting, like, are they all right? Or are they all wrong? I don't understand.

This is the joy about those parenting advice columns, books. You can find anything to support how you want a parent. Yeah. So he has found the laid, what is it, Lamb of God? God, parenting book. But that would have just come up. He, like, has a full playlist of just hectic music like that. Sean has gone, no twinkle, twinkle little star for me, thank you.

This is what I need to nod off. And I'd see, like, for instance, I'd see Ruben one half of Peking Duck. And he's brand new. His kid's, like, three now. When that kid was born, you'd see it, like, maybe, like, you know, 16 weeks just at the back of the show with some earmuffs on, dead asleep while they're playing. It's like, boom. And kids just.

They can't. They're resilient. They're adaptable. Obviously, we're concerned about ear health, but we've got headphones on. Got the moths on. Little rave babies. Little rave kids. This is fantastic. 13, 10, 60.

What does your kids sleep through? What's your kids sleeping through? I mean, I told you I fell asleep in the Matrix. That was at the cinema. How old were you? I wasn't a baby. 12. However, you're loud.

Still counts. Yeah. Cooker of the week. $500 worth of free fuel. Get involved with the show. What's your kids sleeping through? This is Jess and Rowan. Ask you on 1310, 60.

What does your kid sleep through? My, I'm going to say my nephew, I guess. Lucy's little nephew has just been in hospital, and he happened to sleep through this kind of vibe. And apparently, according to Dad, listens to it all the time. Yeah, see, this is nice. I'd love you to follow up with Lucy's brother and wife.

Shiarra text us and said, the little boy would have likely heard it so much in the womb if this is the kind of music mum and dad like. It's probably a comfort to him. I don't know if Helen likes it. I reckon Helen would have run the other way. Okay. She's just used to do, do, do, do, do.

You know, sometimes Daddy will get down on his knees, talk to the belly. Maybe he was just holding up his iPhone being like, my son, I can't wait to educate you in the Lamb of God scripture. I fully believe in that, too, the kid hears through the wound. Absolutely. I fully believe that. One of my pregnancy sort of cravings, I'm going to say, audio-wise, was George Ezra. I love George Ezra.

And green, green grass became quite the soothing. song for Lucha. It's pretty cool. Yeah. How good's George's voice. Great voice. But Haley's giving us a bars. Good morning, Hayley.

Good morning, guys. How are you? It couldn't be better, babe. We've got $500 worth of free fuel as our cooker of the week. Gosh, don't we all need it? Amen, sis. So you tell us, what does your kids sleep through? It's really funny.

You guys mention that. So I've got four children with hubby. And similar to your nephew, Rowan. We listen to quite a bit of, let's call it, alternative music. Yep. But the same thing, yeah. Same thing when I was pregnant with each four of the children would place headphones

on my belly and it would relax them. And it's to the point now we can't listen to heavy metal, we call it screamo music during long car trips because it makes us all tired. Oh my God. It's like a lullaby for your family. Yeah. So when we're traveling, we cannot listen to it. heavy metal music because the driver gets tired, the kids all falls.

And this is like... So are you a Lamb of God fan? Let's call it more a bit of an Avenge Sevenfold bullet for my Valentine's. Oh, I like them. I don't know what you're saying. Are these bands? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Oh, careful. Haley might nod off. Yeah, careful, careful. I'm sorry, guys. I've got work to do. She's got work. It's just the start of her day.

Thank you, Haley. Thank you, Haley. Is it funny? It's almost like you train the kid. Yeah. Ashley, good morning to you. Good morning. How are you?

Good, babe. Ash, what does your kid slip through? So my toddler falls asleep next to his dad while his dad's playing video games and his dad gets quite heated and he's screaming and all that kind of stuff and my toddler is just passed out right next to him. So, my kid, that's for sure. Your partner's playing a bit of Mario Kart getting a bit animated with Bowser doing the wrong thing. I don't know.

Help me wrong. I'm not going to go. I'll let you go. Call of Judy. Heavy metal video games. So gunshots in Call of Duty yelling at people down the headset. What's he doing? Yeah.

Call of Judy, any soul's base games, anything that he gets killed for no reason, he's yelling, screaming and carrying him. Does he like the Ghost of Sushi? What's the game you play? Oh, no. Ghost of Shishima? Ghost of Shesma. Loves it.

Love it. One of his favorite. Oh, there you go. One of the great games, I'm telling you. Thank you, Ash. And Kathleen, on 13, 1060. Good morning. Kath?

Hi, how are you? Good. What does your niece slip through? She has this odd thing that when she gets scared, she will put herself to sleep. Okay. What's great defence. So a couple of years ago,

she would have been two and a half. My son, two and a half, they were very close in age. We went to the Hot Wheels' Glow Party monster truck jam thing. Sure. It sounds fun. Yeah, real monster trucks, very loud. All the kids had headphones, like the ear muffs, sorry.

And she just freaked out the moment it started. It was too much, too scary. And I don't know, five minutes in, I look over and she's just asleep. Oh, my God, I love that. She goes, I hate this. I'm going to go to a happier place. Good night. Yeah, she's like, no, thank you.

I'm just going to go to sleep and wake me up when this is over. Jeez, monster trucks. Lamb of God is one thing, Rowan, Monster Tracks. is a whole other kettle of fish. It was a bit much for me. I'm looking around going, where do I get headphones? Kathleen, it's too busy, just screaming.

This is Jess and Rowan. School holiday toys, games, hobbies and collectibles. Search Casey's Toys Alfa Buck. Jess and Rowan's Alfa Bucks kids. Yeah, absolutely. Same rules apply. You want $1,000 for the kid is 10 questions right. 30 seconds to get all of them right.

All the answers have to have the same letter. If you get nine, 90 bucks, 20, I get two, 20 bucks. Absolutely. Kids get the consolation cash, but we're aiming for 10. Elliot, are you keen for $1,000? Hey, out. Hi.

Hi, Elliot. What do you want to spend $1,000 on? I'm going to be the queen of the canteen. Queen of the canteen. I get it. I get it. That's good one. So what does that mean, Elliot?

You buy all your friends lunch for a week. Yeah. Cool. What's the, what's the, what's the, What item at your canteen? What's your favourite thing to have for lunch? Maybe cheesy bread. Cheesy bread's good one. Cheesy bread's fantastic.

Hagglet's bread, haggard's cheese. Put them together. Bada big, butter boom. I'm living my best life. Elliot, the letter you are going to work with today is H. H for Happy, which I'm sure all your friends will be when you buy them lunch. Okay? How good. H. All right.

You ready to go? Yes. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter H, L. We need you to name something you put on a sandwich. A bun. No, no. Pass.

An animal. Hippo. The opposite of cold. Hot. A body part. Hand. A superhero. Pass.

A school subject. Handwriting. A party food. Pass. A boy's name. Harley. A breakfast food. Oh.

Just out of time. Some good answers. I have four. I have four. Which means 40 bucks. $40. Elliot, that's still pretty good. How much is cheesy bread at your canteen?

Are there a dollar? Oh, my. A lot of cheesy bread. That's 40 bread. Roll them in. For Elliot and her friends. Superhero could have had Hulk, maybe. Yep.

Remember Hulk? Big green monster. You buy the big Hulk hands from K-Mountain stuff. That's fun. That's fun. What does I have a hot dog, party food, hamburger. and then we'll get that's the other one. Yep, $4.40.

Well done, Elliot. Well done, El. Thank you. Thank you for joining the show. Have a good one. And if you want your kid to play, hit.com, don't you, register them there. All thanks to Casey's Toy School Holiday, toys, games, hobbies and collectibles. Search Casey's toys back again tomorrow.

Absolutely. But now, obviously, Coachella was on yesterday. We're going to do Teddy Swims and Vanessa Carlton, a thousand miles. Enjoy! This is Jess and Rowan. How long have you known them? And what did you only just find out? This is not necessarily with your partner.

Could be a friend. Goodness gracious, could be a sibling or a parent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I met a lovely couple, a couple of weekends ago. And they blew my mind, all right? Been married 10 years. 10 years. 10 years, good endings.

So then I guess married 10, maybe they've been together even longer. Yeah. If they're just counting their wedding out of them, Maybe they've been together 14. Maybe. Don't ask me why we were talking about this at dinner. I've just met these people. But anyone who has a meal with me will know.

Questions just coming out. A less field. I will get to know you. I shouldn't have asked. Shy guy's worst nightmare. You have to go out of dinner again. Oh my God. She's going to try and get to know me a bit more.

I'm sick of her. We are the opposite of books. I am an open book. He has a closed book, but I'll do anything to wrench him open. He's one of those books with a lock-on. He is one of those, and I don't know the password. Love heart. You know the voice-activated ones you had when you were a high school girl and you would

have to be like, um, Jess, love. Do you remember those ones? You remember those ones? It was voice activated. Okay, okay, okay, yeah. I don't, I can't mimic his voice to get into his diary. Give it a go. But this couple.

Do you, I like twigs. Didn't work. Okay. This couple, Rowan, we're sitting there at dinner. I don't think you'd actually do it. We're sitting there. Bang on, I'm so good at impression. Wait till I do my Bain.

Sorry, guys. Knock your socks off. Please, do it now. I was born in the dark. You merely adopted the dark. Sorry. Who is that? Bain, the Batman villain.

I was born in the dark. You were raised in it. You merely adopted the dark. I was born in the dark, molded by it. Tom Harding, one of the great performances. My cheeks hurt. Okay. This couple, ten years,

been together, Rowan. I asked, how do you feel about fuzzy fruit? Okay? I don't know how we got onto it, but we started talking about peaches. Where does this shit come from? Like, where do you think, oh, this is a great question. I asked these random people. Lull in the conversation, I went, let's talk about peaches. Start talking about peaches, apricots, kiwis. Your papa kiwi, yeah. And this chick Courtney went, I'll eat the skin of a kiwi. And her husband, jaw on the floor. What? She went, yeah, I'll eat the skin of a kiwi. and he was flabbergasted. He goes, how have we been married 10 years?

I've never seen you eat the skin of a kiwi. And we all sort of went quiet because it actually felt like we were getting an insight into their relationship. What else has she been hiding from him? He did not know his wife for the love of his life for 10 years. Wow. It's the skin of a kiwi. And I thought that was an amusing anecdote. That is.

Didn't know she eats fuzzy fruit skin. But if you didn't ask such a weird question, he would never have known. Thank you. Hence why I wrote it down. I wanted to bring it to you. Well, done, how long have you known them? And what did you only just find out? Well, I've got, like, I've got a couple.

But how about, like, with my girlfriend, Lucy, I only just found out that she was, like, state, uh, butterfly champion. Well, she had the school record and still got it. Yes. But then, but, like, a few months before that, her old man brought out her, like, gold state champion medal. And I was like, was there a lull in the conversation? He went, I know what can feel this.

Why are you, like, why are you five foot three? If you were, like, closer to six foot, we would, we would be able to have babies and Olympians. Absolutely. We'd have the next generation of McKeyans and Titmases, but she's a little shrimpie. My mate, she's a shrimpie. She's a shrimpie. My mate, Dylan.

Still powerful. My best friend in the whole world down in Tasmania still living there. Couldn't get out, I guess. He applied. He couldn't get the passport. I only just found out last year when we went down to Dark Mofo, a big festival down there, a bit alternative, very weird. It's cool though.

That he only eats the hot cross buns without any fruit in them. And I'm like, you are the biggest weirdo I've ever met in my life. And every year, like all the time now, I go, hey, Dilla, look at this. It's a fruit bun with fruit of it. And he goes, get it away from me. Don't like it. Loser. I want a fruitless fruit bun.

I caught up with a friend on the weekend. Six years I've known this man. I just found out he does surgery on his own chickens. Why? Didn't even know he had chickens. You know why? He goes, no disrespect to the chooks, but they only cost about 30 bucks to take a chicken to a vet, thousands of dollars. Wow.

I get my own ped knife. Do the surgery on the bubble foot. You know what? Jerry, what are you saying? I've known shy guy for 12 years. I only just found out he has 14 different chicks. He's talking to all at one. He's got a roster, Rowan. A roster.

I've seen the spreadsheet. He's like a five-date application series. He's run out of primary colours. He's now using magenta and turquoise to colour code because he's run out of colours. How long have you known someone? Yeah. And what did you only just find out? Sorry, was I not meant to tell people about that show guy?

It's fine. The 14 might find out about each other. It's fine. He might have to add a 15th of the rotation. Someone just asked for a personalised shout-out. Happy birthday message. 13, 10, 60. What did you just find out someone you've known forever?

How long have you known him? What did you find out? Absolutely. Take your calls next. After the great Sunny Fadera. Oh no, shy guys. Look on his phone. Oh, he's getting texts from all of them.

Sorry, brother. I didn't meet it. It's Magenta. This is Jess and Rowan. What are you laughing at? We've got a fantastic text, Rowan. Oh, on the text, 04,88, 2008. That's right.

We're asking the question, how long have you known them? Yep. And what did you only just find out? I was out to dinner with some new friends, a couple. They've been married 10 years. The conversation of fuzzy fruits came up, peaches, apricots, kiwi. Courtney revealed, I eat the skin of a kiwi and her husband was gobsmacked. Wow.

Crazy stuff. Someone has texted us. I've known my in-laws for six years. I've only just found out their swingers. Whoa. How did you find that out? That's a weird one. How do you find that out?

Yeah. Did you find the keys in the bowl? Yeah, but oh, was this person like me? The conversation just came up, lull in convo. Oh, we like to hook up with other people's husbands and wives. How does that come up? Other than getting like, hey, you want to come back to our place and we can wife swap? That's one way you'd find out.

How does it come up? But if you find out your in-laws, row and in-laws. That's interesting. That's phenomenal. We've also had another text from Luke. Honestly, Shy Guy is the best part of your show. Thank you. No one's denying that.

No, no one's denied that, man. A fellow Luke supporting a Luke. That's right. Wait to see all the photos of the roster, mate. You think he talks good. Shy guy has responded. I'm just going to, you've spelled appreciate wrong. I don't care.

I don't care. For me well enough to know that that doesn't matter. Cheers. Cheers. I know that you also responded. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter. Let's go to Kylie.

Oh yeah, we're going to go to Kyle. Oh, yeah, we're going to go to Kyle. On 13, 1060. Kylie, good morning to you. Good morning. How long have you known this lady at Playgroup? I'd been there with both of my kids, So it would have been about five or six years by the time we went out for dinner.

Sure, sure. So you eventually go, you know what? You're a vibe. Let's actually be friends. Yeah, it was like a playgroup dinner. So it was everyone from the play group because a whole group of new people had joined in. So we were just joking that everyone needed to start wearing name tags because we didn't know all these new people and new kids and everything.

Sure. And I turned to this woman and I was like, but that's okay. I know your name's Faye. And she got a funny look on her face and looked at me. He was like, uh, it's Fiona. So for five, six years, this woman you actually like, you'd been getting her name wrong. Yep. So that whole time I hadn't.

Like, I'm with an F. I was supposed to be okay with that. You have to lean into that, don't Kyle? You've got to go, that's my bad. I've said the normal man for six years. I was just, like, my husband's gone bright red. I was just flab against it. Like, how can I have known you for this long?

Jeez, it's one thing to not know your wife eats the skin of a Kiwi. It's another to not know someone. name. Who's directly involved with your child. Hello, Jenna. How are you? Good. How are you? Good, good, good. I've been with my husband for 20 years and married for 16 and I only found out probably two months ago that he's got a birth mark on his foot. On his foot? Jenna, up until this point, has he always been socked or shooed? You've never seen his

barefrey? I have and I've just never noticed ever and it's like it's not a small birth mark either. How big is it? Probably about 50 cent piece. Jeez. Why didn't not see appearances, Jenna? At the bottom of the foot? It's like the least interesting thing about him. No, it's on the top.

Oh, okay. You just don't care for his feet. Obviously not. Hey, Jennings, do you know any swingers? No. No, don't. Okay, maybe I'll just ask you to worry about it. This is Jess and Rowan.

So I filled in very last minute on Saturday night to a wedding. I got married to a lady I'd ever met. No, I DJed and I haven't been DJing as much next. I'm on the radio, it is like two very different time vibes. It's like ships in the night with yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't be DJing, finishing at a 4 o'clock alarm. Because even when I used to DJed six years, seven years ago, and then I'd be like on air

in the middle of the day and then I would DJ late at night, but I could still sleep in till eight. Yeah, breakfast radio is not conducive to late night activities. It's tough. By about 10 o'clock, I started to fade. I was DJing until only 11, too. Even dancing queen probably couldn't have gotten you up about it about. Didn't it all.

But I just, I hadn't done a wedding. I was doing weddings all year last year to pay the rent, love them. It's always great being a part of someone's best day of their lives. You love love. I care for love. Love love. I hate that saying. Oh, I love love.

And same with like. Sorry, I care for love. I care for love. No, the whole, I love. All like, oh my God, my cup is full. I can't stand cup is full either. I think cup is full is a crazy thing. You can book Rowan Edwards to DJ your special event next.

It fills my cup. No, I love weddings. I love love, love is like a, not. How can you love weddings and not love love love? It's make a hand in hand. Yeah, but no. Oh, he loves a party. I love a party, though.

And a canopay. Massive canopay guy. Big catap guy. Get him a chicken satay skewer any day of the week. Peanuts. What are we doing? How many times? You know, well, I went to go with Mushroom Arintini, but I feel like I talk about,

I talk about mushroom orangeini so much. I tried to pivot. How long have you known someone and what did you've just learned was last? How long have you known someone and not cared for what will kill them? If I ever serve you dinner, please question me. Don't ever take me. That's true. Please question me.

I'm going to forget. So it was, by all accounts, I was obviously, I did not that the wedding, I didn't see a ceremony, didn't see the dinner. And I was obviously that at Newcastle's best wedding venue, I will say, beautiful place called Ravella. Go on check it out. Go on check that all right. Jess knows the owner. But it's really nice there. It's really, to be fair, it is really nice because they all come from a good show.

They all come from hospo and they always look after you. They always bring a drink. It's great. Nut free drinks. Nut free drinks. But I just wanted to just give you something that maybe we can do a little bit of a, we can do a recurring thing. My thoughts as a non-married man about how you should do your wedding.

A couple of things. Someone who has never put on a wedding but has been to many in the capacity of a G. And guest. Yes, yes, yes. All right, I'd love to hear your tape. I think my biggest thing from going to all these different weddings now is that, and this isn't just because I'm a DJ. I think one of the biggest things, biggest mistakes you can do as a guest is once it's

dance floor time and once all the formalities are over, you don't need to say goodbye. Just leave. Oh, that is. Stop going up to the bride and saying, oh, thank you. I've had such a great day. She doesn't care. She's busy. If she is getting down to J-Lo's letters.

get loud. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And you stand there. It's not offensive. Trying to get her attention. They're not going to be mad. They just go. Oh. Just let, I know it sounds a bit like, oh, maybe a little disrespectful.

Like I want to thank her for a wonderful evening. Because you've obviously, you know, the food was great. It costs a lot of money to a wedding. That is the most sensible thing you've ever said on the show. Just leave. Irish goodbye. Is that called Irish goodbye? Because when you stop and go, I'm just going to say goodbye, it's never a quick.

Tap, tap, tap, wave, go. It's always this jest. I'll tell you, it's the same thing. each time and I know and people know they're doing it and they shouldn't be doing it because they always got this, hey, hey, hey, hey, and they lean back and go, hey, we're just going to go. Oh my God, thank you, so. She's having a moment. It takes about two or three minutes. She's having her moment with her dad. You know, they're connecting over Kisarami Vita by the Gibson brothers. That was me and my dad's song. Get out of there. Send a lovely text the next day or put

even more money in the wishing wealth. That's better. Thank him in the card. Thank him in the car. I don't read for a day later anyway. Absolutely. Angus and I, when we got back, we went through the wishing well. Yeah. The couple that I played for on Saturday night were awesome. Really nice people and they were lovely.

And the problem with them being so lovely is you've got to give, people are saying goodbye. So sweet Michaela's giving them like all the love back. But then now you're taken away from her partner that she's probably spent tens and tens and tens and tens of thousands of dollars on. Yes, I know how expensive you are. But they were so lovely. They were great people. And they were having a lot of fun. But I reckon I saw it about seven or eight times.

And I was like, leave her alone. That is a wonderful footnote. If you're a guest at a wedding this week or coming up, just go. Or even two couples, feel free to put it on the invite. I reckon feel free to set that up. Hey, if you're the MC, that might be a nice little no. Just before, you know, you wrap up that final speech. Yep.

Just put it out there. Hey, please don't post any pictures of the couple before they have a chance to share. And don't say goodbye to anyone. Don't say goodbye. Yep. Just ghost. Just go. I saw one couple actually quickly do a ghost and then someone waved them down.

Like, oh my God, they're leaving. Like, it was a bad thing. And the girl stuck the finger up and ran out. Like, they were going. That's how you do it. Amen. That's how you do it. And if you're looking for an MC, get your uncle to do it, I think.

You reckon the uncle? I reckon someone in the family is always good. Yeah, I like that. Otherwise, if you want your family to have a good time, whatever, Jess is, you know, Jess and I like some of your label. I was going to say, or you get your friend who's in radio. Get your mates to do it. Someone will do it.

Make them do it. Make them do it. They've got to know you for it to be funny. I've got plenty of thoughts, but those are my two big ones. That is a fantastic footnote from the book of wisdom. Yeah. See, I just know weddings. Not married, no weddings.

Does that work? I don't know. This is Justin Rowan. We are going to do a Justin Bieber throwback medley of him playing at Coachella. Because you obviously, you hated it yesterday. Rowan. I can't believe how much you hated it. Angus pumped it through our speaker.

Yeah. And I was like, what is this? He goes, this is Bieber at Coachella. I said, this is making me angry. This is awesome. I thought it was awesome. Babs was watching it in the elevator this morning as we came upstairs. What did you love about it?

Truly, what did you love about it? And I thought Bieber going back to his old catalogue watching YouTube videos on his laptop with a big screen projecting behind him, it's like he went back because that's how he started in YouTube. Yeah. I like how we went down a bit of a YouTube hole. He started watching like these nerds. And I loved, I loved how it was, they had fully got the computer. And he was, and it was all.

real time. So the Wi-Fi stuffed up for a bit and he's like, hang he's like, I cannot fathom how little effort he put in compared to Sabrina Night 1 and other headliners of previous years. Yeah, but the amount of rehearsals and everything that would have gone into that. What rehearsal to type in D's nuts and press play? It's insulting.

There would have been a block. That would have been a little block of you just do this bit. And then the rest of it would have been, we're going to do this one here, this one here. Leroy is going to come out here. By the way, Ozzy on stage. Let's go. Yeah, Kit Leroy. That was cool, but I can't fathom.

And this is me wanting so much from artists. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we live in an era where I need production. He's not that guy anymore. No, I appreciate that. He's done that for 50. Yeah, yeah. I don't appreciate who Justin Bieber is today.

That's not for everyone, I guess. I have seen Bieber in concert. I'm going to say 2016, maybe 10 years ago, and he was getting lazy then. He was over it. So the man he is now, I can't fathom. He wasted our time like that. You're not getting, oh, I didn't think it was a waste of time. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. I look at Sabrina the night before. I go, look how much effort. Well, she had to. She had to because she's like right at the top and she needs to give everything that she can. And Beba hadn't played for a long time. People were so keen to hear it.

People didn't think he would play any of his old stuff. It's crazy to me. 04-8-8-106. I love a temperature check. If you've seen a bit of Beba, did you think it was quintessential Beba for 2026? Did you love it? I was very ready.

Or are you like me going, you lazy bastard. Get a band and some choreography. We had a couple of guys on stage playing guitar. guitar. He did do that. It was an hour and 40 minutes set. It was almost like going to a real show. Everyone else was like a 40 minute, 20 minutes.

Yeah, and it was just great. Plus, I loved the YouTube it because it did feel. It was like, I don't know why this is so engaging. It just is. At one point, I'm trying to settle the baby. And I could hear baby, baby, baby playing. I went, this sounds like 16 year old. And he's harmonising with his young self.

That was cool, as. I had to come out and goes, no, he was just playing the video clip. He was playing clips. What? It was cool. It did feel like Bieber at 5am and you've had a big night and he's just, he's playing all these old stuff at kick on. Haley Bieber put more effort into her little road skincare explainer that she had a little event at Coachella. What was that?

She had a little sidebar thing at Coachella where she was talking about the products and she had a little pop-up event. She put more effort into that. She wasn't headlining. I think he's just so massive that he doesn't need to do anything anymore ever. Stacey has said, Jess, you are so wrong. It was intimate and raw. Yeah, it was boring and lazy. I did like Katie Perry who was in the crowd.

She just says, oh, thank God he's got YouTube premium. Although I see that have ads in between all these. I saw that. Lucy was like, well, what about my blah? And I said, yeah, look, it literally says premium. Yeah. Very funny. I like it you could see all the, um...

The comments. You can see the comments, but I like you see you could see when he was going to the different songs. You could see the, um... What he was typing out? No, no, no, the related videos. Oh, the suggested videos on those on the right column. Yeah. And it was like, well, it was like, well, I was like, oh.

Yeah. And then he spent like two minutes watching himself like fall off stage and stuff. Yeah, that was funny. Walk into Glassdoor. And then I think they're very... If I had paid $5,000 for my experience of Coachella, I would have been tweeting immediately. You would have loved it.

You would have loved it. But you're not a fan, though. Like, if that was Beb... Sorry, if that was Gaga and she did that, you would have loved every second of it. But this is my issue wrong. Gaga wouldn't because she respects her fans and puts on a show. And that's all I'll say on it. Gaga has such an amazing voice.

She could just sit there with a piano or go through old things and you would love every second of it. She does that at her concept, but she puts the effort in. She actually does it like. It's a play a video clip off YouTube. I can't get it. You're thinking there's no effort in that. Zero effort.

This is Justin Rowan. Oh, good morning. Sorry. Not it off for a second there. Hey, Justin's talking. Oh, who cares? Someone texts us, Rowan. Someone texts us.

This is Bieber's rebirth and I'm here for it. Nice. Someone else said I saw Justin Bieber in 2016 and his lack of effort was so disappointing. I'm no longer a bullet. Belieber. Right there with you, Sarah.

She's a believer. Believer. That kind of worked. Unfortunately, it's too close to believer. Belieber. Behabers. But yeah, we're very split.

The cookers are very split. But that was Beba just playing some YouTube at Coachella. Hope you've enjoyed a little trip. I felt like I was there. Yeah, it was good. Vegas? No, where is Coachella? In the desert.

In the desert. Coachella desert. All right, back tomorrow, guys. Free fuel, don't forget, Cooker of the Week. Oh, absolutely. $500 for you guys. If you get on the show, you contribute somehow. Good luck with that.

We're back to more open six. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Ron podcast. Maca's Bestro at Bernays Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.