Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Dreamy browns

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

Are you sharing the bed with your husband? Producer Shy Guys dippin and is the lawn mower theory real?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Hello. How is everyone doing? Oh, couldn't be better.

I love a Wednesday. Thank you for listening to the podcast. You bloody big, sexy weapon. Maybe you're listening on a Thursday. Perhaps you're listening on a Sunday. I'd love to be part of your Sunday Wind Down. Oh, yeah, the Wind Down. That would be nice.

Lovely. How are you doing? Good. How you doing? Great. Have a great time. I said a lot. Wednesdays.

Wednesdays. I don't know if it's because we give out lollies. There's something very joyful, very juvenile. Very Wimsycle. Wimsycle Wednesday. Well, no, hang on a minute. We're calling it Wimsycle, but the queen of Wimsy has just walked in. Babs is the fact we give away Lollies.

Wimsycle. I think so. Yes. It's a bit wimical. Extra whimsical that it's a gecko. Sure. It's a whimsical lolly. Yeah, it's more whimsical than giving out money.

Giving out lollies is more whimsical. Cheaper too. Much cheaper. Well, I mean, I'd love to do. know, do you have, have you done your tax return for 2025? I can look at my concrete history. How much did you? Yeah, because you pay for it and then claim it, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love to know what we spent on. You get some money back, guys, don't stress. Yeah, I do get that. What did we spend on, what did we dip last year? Bickies. Bickies. It was the year before.

Cereal. Oh, my God. I'd love to. Serial was expensive, by the way. I was going to say, you bought, what was that? What was the American one you bought? Reis's the peanut butter cup. That's expensive.

You did a couple of them. I had to import some of them. They were like $24 for one box. The Lucky Charms box. And he had to buy two. That's an expensive year. It was expensive, but not. Lollie's been relatively affordable.

Yeah. I mean, I buy them when they're on sale. Can you imagine our show gets pinged from like a company-wide standpoint? Why is this show so expensive? It's because we buy lollies every week. Cereal lollies. Just grocery shops. Christmas comes around.

We do ice cream. It's quite. Yeah, nah. I try to go for what's on sale and I'm like, oh, okay, well. Oh, that's a clue. That makes sense. Dragon Jace is looking at the receipt. So you could have three bags.

I could conquer something that's a couple hundred and he wouldn't notice. You know, because you know why? He'd see shy guy and go, yeah, prove. Trust. Trust. You know what? Another word for that? Respect.

You know what? A good, yes. Oh, yeah. You'll learn about that. Very soon. You'll hear about it. Let's just get into it now. Jess and Rowling.

In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know, Jess? Don't do I care if you piss on me. Wow. You'll get to know Rowan. Oh no. Taking the Hobbits to six, seven. Shut up.

More on. It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. That squawking fatty. And Rowan.

You like what I did this. This is Jess and Rowan. Yes, good morning. Good morning. How are you, Jess? Oh, Rowan. We've had quite the morning. Oh, yeah.

Apparently you guys were fighting. No, fine. I forgot to put that in the thing. Is that what you wanted to do here, Shy Guy? Because I noted it wasn't on. Okay, fair enough. Well, Shy Guy and I, I don't know if we're... Fighting.

I would say debating. That's a fight. No, fight is raised voices and bad language. The energy in the room when you two walked in, felt like a fight. Oh, that's because we usually walk in, holding hands. Today, he didn't want to hold hands because the debate around respect is currently going. But all right, there might be some more to unpack, so we'll come back with it. I have said that you need to respect.

I got a big shot. Well, wait till you hear what I tried to do, Rowan. Wait till you hear what I tried to do. I was met with a brick or wall. Yeah. How are you? Whoa. How are you? I'm all right. Just all right. Yeah, I'm okay. Oh, no, we need someone to level the seesaw out. You've got to be fantastic. I actually got good sleep last night considering. Good? Considering what? I think because I had a big gym session yesterday, I got good sleep. I think that's why I slept my all.

You're like a little kid. You tuckered yourself out. If I don't go to the gym, I wake up like five hours in. I'll wake up, no matter what time I go to bed. Oh, your body's going, you're okay. You didn't do enough? Yeah, you got something to do, row. Go do it. Do you know what?

It's funny as say that. I was exhausted yesterday. Went to bed at 7.45. Work up at 1.30 a.m. Fresh as a daisy. I went. It's what my body is exactly. Stayed away until 3.30.

The little kid walked in. I went, okay, she got just start the day. What are we doing? Did you do? Ah, we're back to sleep. No, of course you did. That's it with Angus. That's right.

Thank you. Oh, is she bare assing around the house at the moment? What are you doing with the potty? No, we're not there yet. Not there yet, because Angus is still adamant. He doesn't want her wee-weeing on the in-laws carpet. It's a necessary sacrifice. You should see how foul this carpet is anyway.

I'm like, so much spaghetti bolognese has been dropped on this carpet. What's a little bit of wee-wee? I need to grow up. But he's like, that's disgusting. Spaghetti bolognaz is food, whereas a human excrement is another level of yuckies. The stain is worse with spaghetti, isn't it? Yeah, but it's not even about the stain that's left behind. it's knowing the genesis of the stain.

You can get the carpet cleaners from bunnings. You absolutely can. Yeah, hire them. Hey man, it's his parents' place, i.e. his final call on the carpet. I'm having a roll with nappies for a little bit longer. I reckon you could blame the grandchild always and it would be okay. Oh, we absolutely can because she is the light of their life, the apple of their eye. Anything she does is fine.

Babs, how was the respect conversation from your point of view? Who was in the right? Well, she got brought in. later. It was only between shy guy and I. I tried to loot Babbs in. It was a lot for 6 a.m. Yeah, okay. Have we met? You've worked with me for 200 years now Babs. You should be rare and to go for big existential conversations precinct. Interesting. I actually did get here a little bit late and I walked around. I could hear them

talking in the kitchen. I missed the kitchen. Came to the studio. No lights on. I was like, we haven't even made it in. Yeah. We haven't even made it to the studio yet. It was actually such a wig out because your car wasn't there. But then by the time I've walked in here, here you were. I'm like, oh my God, he's cycled into work. I like that. I missed his bicycle. It is my favourite thing. I've been thinking of getting a bike.

I can't believe you don't. Not an e-bike, but an analogue bike. It wigs me out that you don't go to our desks. I don't know what you need to do. It's not like you need to dump off a briefcase. I bring them all. But you never go to your desk to start. Like, I have to put my handbag down.

I don't have a handbag, though. You don't have a handbag? It would go there. Do you carry a wallet? Yeah, I never used to. But now the past to get in the buildings in the wall. So now I have to go. That's just in your pocket, though.

Yeah. Oh, see, it rigs me out. Boys, boys, boys. Pockets, pockets, pockets. Pockets, pockets. We don't have the luxury. The patriarchy is real, unfortunately. Yes, absolutely.

I can't put my car keys and my phone and my lip gloss in my pants. Need a bag. You need a handbag. I need a handbag. So we were talking about the respect next. Yeah, we'll come back with the respect. And you know what? I'd love your final say because shy guy and I had a loggerheads.

We need Judge Rowan to back. the gavel. Yep, and feel free. 048-18-1069. The cooker of the day prize is fantastic. Thanks to Newcastle Food Month. Australia's most expansive food festival. One nice day, the Crystal Brook Kingsley,

$250 to spend at around the food month, you know, get some nice food. And $2.00 to Charlestown Square. So you'll be the judge. If you'd like to be a juror, you text in next. Yep. Respect.

I will definitely be the judge. Where we at. Thank you. And don't just take his side because he's an old friend of yours. No. You're an old friend of mine. You're both old friends.

This is Jess and Rowan. Help me out with deciding who's in the wrong with an argument that happened between you two. I don't know if there's someone in the wrong per se, Rowan. Let me lay out the facts of the case. Well, shy guy told you to shut up and gave you the waggle. He did give me the waggle, but I respected that waggle because I wanted to bring you in off air. And shy guy said, uh-uh, do it on air so the cookers can also have a say. He's the EP.

I respect the waggle. He's in charge. Ah, and it's funny, I use the word, respect Rowan because that was the crux of this conversation. I arrive in the car park, okay? I'm the only one there at this point in time, get out of the car, go and wait for the lift. By the time it has taken the lift to call down to our level of the car park, I hear a car car coming up the ramp and I know it's going to be of the remaining vehicles, either you

or shy guy. I know what, I know that where this is going. I start the process in my mind. I'm going to wait, see who it is. Because if it's you, if it's shy guy, I'm waiting. It's shy guy's Mazda. It rolls in. Nice.

The elevator is there. I could have walked in, buzzed up here to level seven and gone about my morning. But I chose upon seeing it was shy guy to wait. Shy guy scampers out of his car, nails the reverse park. He never needs to correct. He's such a good driver. He scampers over with his lollies for dips today. He had a banana.

He had a few things in his hands. Scampers over. First thing out of his mouth, he didn't need to wait for me. I said, bro, not only are you my friend, it's a respect thing. And we then proceeded to spend the next 15 minutes, Rowan, discussing whether it is a respect thing, waiting for a colleague slash friend for the lift or in his. or in his words, and correct me if I'm wrong, shy guy, making him feel like he had to rush and scamper to the lift.

I'll give you extra facts of the case. Forgot his phone in the car because he was rushing so much. So he's actually at a disadvantage, whereas I am saying, you're my friend, you're also technically my senior. Yeah, yeah, correct. Being the executive producer of this show. I'd also add the job at hand, i.e. our pre-show meeting doesn't start without you.

So why not wait for you? Because the next step of the morning depends on your presence or not. So they were the facts of the case, Judge. Well, hang on, you missed one fact. Sorry, by all means, sir. Well, I said I would still have the same respect, whether you were going up the lift or not, and I would have seen you in 40 seconds on the seventh floor.

Rowan, I do not believe he would have felt respected if I had abandoned him because if I can call a previous incident to mind, possibly 12 months ago, Babs and Shy Guy were waiting for the lift, saw me pull in, proceeded to get in and chuff off. And didn't I lose it? Which wasn't on purpose.

Disrespect. Bullshit, you saw me. Disrespect. That was coincidence. Oh, shut up. No, it wasn't, mate. He saw me struggling to park. I'm not as good of a parker.

Struggling to park. And he went, I'm not waiting for it. You in The Outlander. And he chuffed off. And I thought that was mad disrespect. So why would I do the same thing back to him? Of course not. I'm going to wait.

Were you going to wait because you'd normally wait or do you want to prove a point that you waited? No, no. I would always wait. It just so happens. I'm not a hypocrite. Thank you. Thank you for being honest. If I get here, this is just, okay, this is more a me thing.

This has got nothing to do with you too. The judge is bringing personal stuff. The judge is meant to be impartial. Listen, the judge didn't pass the bar. The judge can say what he likes. The judge isn't wearing his wig. No. He's gone rogue. He's got no gap.

He's got a fist. I've got a permanent marker. Oh, I'm going to break it. When I get out of the car. At work. Yes. Thank you. And I hear a car coming.

Oh, do you rush? I swear to God, I hope the elevator hurry's up. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's more often than not going to be me, shy guy or babes. You won't wait. If we, if I saw. you and you saw me, I would wait.

But if there was a car coming up... You can hear it? Yep. Hurry up. And I quickly get in so no one sees me. What's you thinking, though? I don't know. You know it's going to be one of us.

More than likely, it's not going to be the old mates down the hall. No. Are we fret? Oh, I can't understand you, people. I kind of just want to get in, get into the studio straight away and start. And there's a long time I have not talking about one, the longer I get to focus. Because then when the show starts, hey! You know?

And once I'm here, then you can walk in, it's all like routine now. So only if you get busted, you then wait out of obligation, not even out of respect or friendship. It's out of obligation. Because you know, now you know, I will have words. You will wait. You will wait. Of course I would wait. If like, yeah, if I saw you there and you saw me at the elevator, I would wait.

You can hear my car coming and it's a hell of an engine. A car. I like the fact that I don't know what car. I like the fact I don't know which car. See, give it a few more weeks. I reckon you could ascertain whose car that is coming up. So, sorry, taking yourself out of it, Judge. In the equation of shy guy v. Jeff's this morning, Wednesday, the 25th of March.

Of course. In whose favour do you rule? I actually, I do rule in yours because it's what I would, because if I saw you, I would wait. Yes. But I also agree with shy guy because it's like you don't have to. You shouldn't have to wait. Like, you have to do it. You made me rush.

So I was like, I've got to get my laptop. My lollies. I got to get my phone. Oh, wait. I forgot my phone. I didn't realize that until I'm here. Friendship. I rule in favor of you, but I acknowledge and understand his.

Says the scamper, who we know now. This is Jess and Rowan. And Ozzie bloke has kind of proven a theory that most blokes and their lawns, a bit of an unwritten, kind of unspoken. Oh, hello, Natasha Beddingfield. The rest is still unwritten. Nice one. Have listened this.

I've seen this theory getting around that. I don't mind that. If you know your lawn, then your neighbour's got one hour to respond. A few moments later. And it's this bloke doing his lawn. An hour later, everyone else out there doing their lawn. The bloke's like, shit. I love that.

Obviously, a few caveats. He can't be doing that Monday at 10 a.m. No. I reckon that's a Saturday morning. What do you reckon? 8 a.m. Even 9 a.m. And then the other bloke start looking out their windows.

Oh, honey. Curtis has started mowing. I don't really get that deep male urge to mow. Is that because you've never owned property, though? Never really had a lawn. We never really had lawns. I don't know if renters have the same affinity to their lawn as landowners. And I understand in this economy, maybe you will never own your own lawn.

Maybe not. But if that is your patch of grass, Angus, my husband, my God, very turf proud. The kind of guy, I'll say. Hey, everyone's coming over in two hours, got a dinner party planned. Maybe it's my parents, you know. Let's get the house spick and span. His idea is, oh, best go mow the lawn.

I didn't think people judge, but he's like, no, no. Your father will look at the lawn. Is your father a big lawn guy? Yes. More than anything, because he's got birds that attack his lawn to get the grubs and they rip up his lawn. So he's got a whole other, furious.

A whole other kettle of fish issues. That would drive me insane, actually. Absolutely. Yeah, basically saying it could be more of a motivation rather than I've got to show this bloke up. It's like, oh, he's out doing his lawn. Yeah, it probably is lawn time. And then it goes in your mind and you're out doing the lawns. Particularly if you're on properties where your lawns aren't separated by a driveway or a footpath.

You know, some of those properties that's like run on nature strip. So if they are stopping, actually, where do you stand on that? That's very un-Australian. If your lawn is connected to your neighbour's lawn, are you running your mower the whole way across? No. You're stopping on your boundary. Oh, you stop at the boundary, I think. Oh, disagree.

Stop on the boundary because then you know what you've done is right. And then they have to just do their bit. Well, that's why there's a call to action. If you're only going to half the nature strip, now yours looks so unkept because this guy's shaved his grass back. I mean, I think the nature strip one is you do your bit, but also if you're going and you're enjoying it, keep going. No, that's the thing. So you may as well keep going. If you enjoy it, but no obligation to.

How's the thing of a day? No obligation. Respect, babe, but it's respect. We share boundaries of our property, but our lawn, it's one and the same. You run your mower the whole way across. What about if the other guy likes to buy the lawn, then you leave the bit for him because he might really enjoy it. You know? Well, now we've got a bigger question.

Have you taken a job that he enjoys? Because that might be disrespectful. You do another man's lawn. Whoa. And are you going to do the edges? Maybe you do the lawn, but he comes out and does the edges. But of yours as well? That's a big arse.

I'll do one job. Well, maybe they don't enjoy the edges. Maybe they enjoy pushing the mower and not the edges. But you've done the mower and now they have to do the edges. Growing up, my parents always talk to the neighbours. I couldn't tell you my neighbour's names. This is unfortunately the era we're living in. That could be solved with a conversation.

Hey, Brent, do you prefer to mow or to do the edges? I love doing edges, mate. All right, well, I'll mow. Then you come in the next day and you do the edges. All that afternoon. Wait a full day before the edges. That was a bad thing. This is where it's getting hard.

You do your edges. your side? Don't you think, shy guy? Yeah. Oh, you'd be lawn proud and you don't own that lawn? No, I still do it. I don't touch either side, though. I know my map. Yeah, I see classic. He is an island unto himself. What are you looking at? You look straight down

your crutch where you're talking about lawn mowing. What's got on there? You drew a line on the table. Oh, sorry, my apologies, there is. Different landscaping John, you're thinking of. Yeah. You had a house show? I thought you lived in a unit. No, it's a house. I rent it, but it's a house? It has a lawn. Yeah. Do you get told by the landlord or the real estate?

Hey, lawn's looking a little messy. Get on top of that, shy guy. I do. Yeah, you would, I see that. I don't think it's in the agreement that I have to. Do you own a mower? It's their mower. They left it.

Oh. Yeah, can you believe it. Oh, that's passive, aggressive. Yeah, do the lawns. The lawns are dead. Like, I didn't really look after them too well. This is Jess and Rowan. First questions.

You should be asking on a first date. Here's some good ones, Jess. All right. Is that Robin's back pocket? Is this how you wooed your girl? According to body and soul. I just turned up and like looking hot. Absolutely.

You just exuded charisma. She had no hope. Poor thing. I do. You were like the juicy worm on the hook. Yeah. And she was just an unsuspecting fish. Gobble, gobble.

Now I'm hooked on you. Poked it through a cheek. Just, gonged in, lady. All right. These are great questions you asked on the first day. Because by the way, you don't want to be asking questions. I was like, what's your attachment style? I even think, what's your love language?

It's too much for a first day. Oh, no, no. No, no. See, that's like, you don't want that. We can't make our... First date, we can't make our day to do the quiz at the table. That's an interview. I'd pull that quiz up being like, it's just 40 questions.

Could you just spend the next... Just until the appetizers arrive? I'd do that him in the toilet and then I would jump out the window on the toilet. You would never see me again. Apparently, according to your body and soul, it is about creating a space where the other person can relax and just be themselves. because that's where the real slip-ups of the mind happen. Absolutely.

You want to walk away from the date going, wow, I feel connected to that person. We went deep. And safe and comfortable. Safe. What a beautiful word. And just an easy night. Shy guy, do you make dates feel safe? I would like to think so.

Yeah. Perfect response. Like to think so. Oh, yeah, that might have not been the perfect response. So no. Well, I think if they're not feeling, I would think I would pick up on that. Yeah, very good. And pivot.

Stop touching them. The idea is you don't. question them, you play with them. Excuse you? Don't touch me. I just met you. I don't even know your last name. And you won't tell me your love language. If you told me your love language was physical touch, well maybe we could play. But you haven't told me that, have you?

Oh my God. The losers, the pickup artists are going, okay, yes, that's the first one I ask. Great. So make them do the quiz. What was your very first email address? That's a fun. Fun question. See what I'm going with this? Yeah. What was your first? yours, Rowan. Now I want to do it. I want to do the questions. Was hot mail? Yeah,

got to be hot mail. Got to be hot mail. I underscore Am underscore Roe. Roeo. With a W? What was I thinking? Were you hating on your own H? I don't know why. Maybe the W made more sense. Mine like if nothing says I'm a

teacher's pet more than this was Devils, with a Z underscore Lil underscore Angel. Like I'm the devil's little angel. Not the Angel's little devil. All the cool kids have devil's all right, right, right. So you still, okay. What day of the week do you think I am?

That's a big question. Interesting. If you just met them, a few assumptions. Oh, you're a Friday, baby. I'm a Friday, baby. What am I? There is a wrong answer. Which day is wrong?

This is tough. Well, Monday is obviously wrong. I was thinking Thursday. Thursday's wrong. That's how quite like a Thursday. I think you're like a Sunday. Oh, thank you. Sunday's a good day.

That is such a good day. I love, I don't think I'm chill enough to be a Sunday, but I appreciate. Oh, true. I appreciate what you say. Maybe you're edging on a Monday. Maybe you're edging on a Monday then. Probably am. Okay, good to know.

What movie did you see way too young? Oh, probably The Matrix for me. That's the one I fell asleep in. I couldn't quite get it. Well, what's your texting style? Oh, short, sharp, multiple and punctuation. He's a great question. He's a good one.

What's the worst hairstyle you've ever had? All of mine have been fabulous. All of them? What about you? I had like an Afro when I was in a great age. Really? Well, that's cultural appropriation. You're not allowed to have that.

Well, it's just long curly hair that people called Afro. It's just your hair. I had to have a Nike headband to hold it up play basketball. It looked like a puppy running down the court. Oh, you would have looked like an 80s tennis player. Yeah, literally. Totally. I did the pixie cut once and I just don't have the hair texture for that.

Yeah. It was bad. I was going to bring up a pixie cut. You remember that? I remember that, yeah. It wasn't great. I look like my mum. But she's hot.

Yeah, but she's hot. She can pull it off because she's got that attitude. I was just some idiot 25-year-old. Oh, dear. It wasn't good. What's something you never told your parents? That's a great one. Ooh.

I honestly, my parents know everything. And since working down the big stick, they've heard a lot more. What about you? Oh, God. What doesn't Richard know? Oh, they don't know anything. Thank God, deliberately. You're an only child.

I thought you would be really close. Yeah. But don't tell me anything. Jesus, don't tell them anything. Close and sharing are two different things. And what, if you could teleport somewhere tomorrow for 24 hours, where would it be? Oh, that's a night. And then be able to teleport home.

Yeah. Oh, that's a good question. I've always wanted to go on. I was going to say safari, but for 24 hours, that might be enough time to. I'd like to see a rhino in the wild. Really? Yeah. I just don't know if I'll ever see that.

Do you charge it? Oh, amazing. You know the one white rhino that has like four bodyguards to protect him from poaches? I'd like to say that. What about you? These are fantastic questions. I would like to go to one of... 24 hours.

Yep. I would like to go to one of those Maldives over the water huts. Oh, I like Kim Kardashian, abora, borah. And teleport there, I'm there. But only 24 hours. That's not long enough. You'll just be annoyed having to leave. It was nice.

Okay. That's what we've got to think about. I like that for you. You'll take the joy. while you can. So would you date me if I ask you all these questions? I think I would because I truly feel connected to you. And the next question is like, what's your love language?

Yeah, yeah. Is it a physical touch? Yes, it is. It's only that. This is Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. On the text line, 04-8-W8-1069.

You could win Cooker of the Day. Yeah, the Cooker of the Day. And Cooker of the Week, yep. Not the week, it's the day. So I was expecting you'd go and then I didn't go and then we both didn't go. I know, we were just locking eyes. You know what? I think we're a bit in line.

after you asked all those great first-day questions. Oh my God. I'm getting lost in your dreamy browns. Is that why I'm sweating? That doesn't sound. Dreamy Browns? Ooh. You can't, no one can ever, no one's ever said dreamy browns before.

Are you kidding? Get lots of my dreamy browns. Sounds like I'm looking at your mud button. What the hell is a mud button? Shy guy, she's right? She's talking about your button. Dreamy, oh. Shy guy speaks jazz.

Dreamy Browns. Dreamy Browns and the mud button. Dreaming about it too? Dreaming? I said dreamy browns, like his eyes. Oh, wow. The dreamy browns. That's what I meant your eyes getting lost in your eyes.

I was just trying to be more creative than just saying lost. Say that. Say that. Oh, yeah. Everyone is now in her way. Don't say mud button. Why do you say mud button? I love mud, but I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Oh gosh. Okay. That's lost that. There is no segue. There was never going to be a segue, but now this feels even harsher. She talked about a mud button? No, but you did say Cooker of the Day eventually. We got there.

We got a great prize. You don't need an invitation. In fact, you don't need to actually respond to anything that's been said on the show. That's a fact. You could just text a story. Like Nicole did yesterday, Rowan, we didn't get a chance to get to it. Okay. But I'm glad we can today.

Good morning, Jess and Rowan. Unfortunately, I work early morning, so I rarely get to call the show. But I couldn't not share this story. Okay. She's just had this thing happen in her life. She goes, I just want to tell my friends. We can do that. That's what the text lines for.

And we encourage it. She says, my friend is on student exchange at a university in China at the moment. Nice. And has been in a shared living arrangement with four other girls. They've been taking turns cooking dinner for the house each night since she arrived a year ago. Nice little housemate situation. Yeah, yeah, that's good. She often tries to cook something that includes rice because the other girls she's living with are from China, Hong Kong and Thailand.

She's trying to be, I guess, culturally appropriate. She's like, well, they would all like rice. I don't mind it. I'm happy to cook rice. She's about to come home. And she thought, oh, why don't we do? I know it's not Christmas, but ladies, why don't we do a little secret Santa situation and give each other a gift?

We can all get a gift, something to remember one another by. Lovely. She goes on to say, Nicole, turns out the other girls don't quite understand the rules of Secret Santa. They all thought she must love rice because she's been cooking us rice for a year. So she is now coming home with four brand new rice cookers because they've all bought her rice cookers to continue on her rice cooking journey. They didn't all talk to each other. They didn't talk to each other. And it doesn't sound like they even pulled a name out of the hat. They all got Nicole's friend. Like, why did Nicole's friend get four gifts of rice cookers?

I'm not sure. But Nicole, thank you. That's so good. Trying to do the nice thing for a year. and it's just coded you as, oh, you must love rice. You're a rice girl. Here's four rice cookers, and we love a rice cooker on this program. Great gear. Yeah, going towards Cooker at the Day. At 048-18-1069, if you have a story about anyone, has actually, has anyone ever said you have got Dreamy Browns?

How do we feel about Dreamy Browns? Can we get it called? This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K AlphaBucks on hit. Yes, $10,000 at 7 o'clock and at 8 o'clock for AlphaBub. playing this morning is the great hope. Hello to you, Hope. Good morning, how are we?

Couldn't be better, Hope. Why do you want our 10 grand, babe? What can we do for you? I have one of those abnormal pap smears, and I probably need to get that sorted out, yeah? Okay, fair enough. So the medical bill may be a bit more expensive for a private person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A private person for your privates, am I right? Yeah, I mean, not my brown mud hole, but yeah. Okay, okay. Well, first off, it's mud. No one's at hole. No one's at hole, mate. No one's at hole.

It just said button. Sorry, button. My bad button. You have sent this show to the dumps today. What have you done, Jess? This is your fault. I don't think Jess is the cook of the day. Put her name in the pool.

Hope. I love that. Yeah, nah. It's the front. Not my back. Don't mind me. Just drinking my morning brown. But that will send you for a morning brown.

I haven't had my morning brown yet. Oh, haven't you? usually pretty regular. I normally go heaps. Sorry. Hope. I've just played off air. It's getable, sis.

Your letters A, A for Alpha bucks. Okay. That's solid. You're feeling all right with that? I mean, it's an X's letter of their name, but okay. Okay. Well, let's not associate it with them. Let's associate it with getting you a private gynecologist.

This chick's road, bro. I love Hope. This is great. Hope's a little quiet. Are you hearing Hope okay? I'm hearing Hope, right? Yeah, yeah. I'll pump it right up though.

I'm deaf. Just in case. Hope. Okay. That's better. I don't want to miss a trick. Yeah. Okay.

That feels good. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter A, we need you to name. A fruit. Apple. A sports competition. Athletics. A car part.

Alternator. An animated character. Pass. Something sharp. Arrow. An Australian music artist. Oh. Pass.

A school subject. Art. A colour. Aqua. A horror movie. Pass. An adjective. Damn it.

Wow. Oh, no. Six. She was good. I started off strong. You did. Alternator. Hello.

Someone knows her car. Throne you off. You could add Aladdin. Could add Alvin. Obviously, of chipmunks fame. Of the chipmunks, yeah. ACDC, Angus and Julia Stone for Australian music artists. Now, horror movie, hard one.

Could have a nightmare on Elm Street. Could have alien. What did you say, Jess? Oh, how much is your horror? There you go. That's what I said. What Jess said. What Jess said.

Six is good though, six's good though. But you'll have to go to the gyno. On your own dollar. Sorry. Sorry, Hope. Get me sorted out, though. Are they all private? You've got to different levels of gyno?

No, unless you want to wait a long time. Yeah. And I guess it depends what your health insurance covers. True. Hope, good luck with that and get it sorted. I love that you're taking control of your health. Don't let it go. Thank you.

You're welcome. Bye-bye. All right, playing at 8 o'clock, guys. Don't forget, Cooker of the Day. Get involved with the show. Win a great prize. Absolutely, $1,200 worth of prizes, thanks to Newcastle Food Month. Are you not sharing the bed with your partner?

Might want to hear from you. Good chance to get in today with Cooker of the Day. Bruno Mars plays now. We'll talk about that. Next. This is Jess and Rowan. Don't forget, guys. 7.30.

We play and shy guys. Dips. He dipping. It's lollies. Get him right. You win a... It's a great text. It's about mud browns, mud buttons? It's what started it. Oh my God. You know what, Shaghan, I reckon you take her outside for a quick lap.

Bring it back of the show. All right. Now or... Have you read that? That's fantastic. Which one? The first one. Oh. What is it? Sorry.

So we're just talking about me getting lost in your dreamy browns. For those playing home? Everyone knows it's eyes. When I was trying to court my partner, I tried to say how I love her brown eyes, thinking how she loved nature and brown tree stumps with the rings are something that always fascinated us. I tried to compare her eyes to that.

Instead, what came out was, I love your stumpy eyes. I still have no clue why she's with me. She is and that's all that matters. She's still there. I thought you're going to say something about her, yeah, brown eye or something. Oh, yeah, nah, no, stumpy eyes. That's fantastic.

Oh, it's stump eyes. Thank you for sharing that. Good one. Speaking of which. Yeah, we got the text line. Yeah, got that for Cooker of the Day. That's right. It's a $1,200 prize pack.

Nice. Thanks to Newcastle Food Month. The night's accommodation, dinner, brecky parking included, $250 spending money and $200. go on a shopping spray with our friends at Charlestown Squat. Hell yeah. We're asking this morning, are you not sharing the bed with your partner? Yeah.

Hey, Stumpy Eyes, I ask you, are you not sharing the bed? Listen, stump. Unfortunately, to our single friends, this topic doesn't quite apply to you. Oh, maybe at a previous relationship where you are not sleeping in the same bed. And now you're just alone sleeping by yourself. Yeah, Rowan, this start has absolutely boggled the mind. Right. Roughly four out of five Australian couples are sleep divorcing.

Four out of five. Sleep divorcing sounds a bit violent. Well, that's what a sleep expert has called it, where you don't share a bed. And she says it's not a good sign to sleep divorce, whether you take a spare bed, whether you're sleeping on the couch. She says, I get it, particularly with some warm, humid nights, like ones we've been having.

people get very irritable at their partner. And they crack the, and they go, you know what? I'll just go sleep on the spare bed. And then after one decent night's sleep, they think, maybe I'll do it again. And again and again. But that's that, four out of five, is humongous. My parents, I don't sleep in the same bed. Do you know when that started?

Like, do you remember growing up and they had their own beds? No, I think it's, I think dad had hip surgery. And then, and then they got a special. recovery bed for dad. So he went out in there and it was like... Oh, that's not a bed they could share? Thousands of dollars. Was it almost like a hospital bed?

It was a really bit. No, but it was a real... They spent a lot of money on it. Sure. And then that was a really nice bed. And then they were like, well, let's get a really nice bed for this, for our main bed. And they just realized now they've got two really nice beds and they have their own space.

Yeah. Because it's funny. Not to be ages about it, but I did think it was, we'd be married for 40 years. I'm not putting up with the snoring or the Jimmy leg or any sort of sharp toning. or any sort of sharp toe nails. I'm just going to sleep in my own. I've heard of couples who maybe in their 50s or 60s married for a long time who just call it. But four out of five, that's humongous.

I parents are in late 60s. Well, there you go. You know, like the old sitcoms you would watch and the husband and wife, like grandparent age, would have two single beds but in the same bedroom. But I think now people are, yes, opting for the whole other spare bed. Angus and I are unfortunately in a situation where to get our little girl to sleep, one of us has to start the evening with her until she drifts off. Angus usually stays awake and then can sneak out. I, her bed's very comfortable.

I fall asleep. I fall asleep. So like last night, I woke up at 1.30 a.m. and went, well, I miss Angas. I'm going to go back into the big bed, but he's such a light sleeper. I'm waking him up. Ruchia walks in at 3 a.m. anyway. So we're just so annoying.

Poor Angus. Maybe I actually text him this morning saying, sorry, I probably should have just stayed in there and we wouldn't have bugged you two times over. What'd he say? Would have been good? Yeah. He said, no, of course. I missed you too. Oh, very nice of him.

But we just thought it was interesting. 131060. Yeah. 04-8-18-1069. That's our text line. Are you in this camp? Almost half of New South Wales couples admit to at least spending one night per week away from each other. Yep.

Give us the why. Why is it? Give us the white. And what sparked it? And then you went, this is actually better. Yeah. Are you going to make a case for it? Better marriage for it, maybe.

Maybe. All those things, take your calls and texts next. This is Jess and Rowan. We are talking about, are you sleep divorcing your partner? This is a phenomenon. Four out of five Australian couples are experiencing. Crazy. Otherwise, happy.

But when it comes to nigh-nigh bedtime, they go, adios, macho. I'm going into a different bed. Catcha. Sleep expert, Olivia Orizolo, has said, look, when you cuddle with your partner at night, you release oxytocin can be very good for a relationship. But on the flip side, if they've got a wiggly leg, if their toenails are too sharp, if they are a hot box, can be very irritating and can actually lead to problems. Oh, if they're farting. That's awful. If she is constantly, what's that called?

Gas. Dutch ovening you. Oh. Since she laughs. So she throws the cover over here and goes, ha ha ha. See, she gets the oxytocin from that because it's given her the giggles, whereas you can't make it through the night. Stinky girl.

She has lots of vegetables to her through. A lot of cruciferous veg, Brussels sprouts. Yeah, bro, you get it. Ooh. But we want to know from the cookers, are you doing this? Are you one of the New South Wales couples that spends at least one night a week? Yep. Away from your partner.

Or have you set up a whole other bedroom? Jody, good morning. Hey, Judd. Good morning, guys. How are you? Jody, you didn't just get married yesterday. How long have you and your partner been together? We've been together 32 years.

That's a long time. Congratulations. Great innings. Thank you. And about maybe two, two and a half years ago, I said, okay, it was either go to jail for birder because you snore so much or go into another bed. So he has his own room now. So, Jody, 30 years you put up with the snoring and then that was the straw.

Wow. So 30 years, you went, if we're going to make it, another 30, you're going to have to set up a whole other bedroom. And now, hunky-dory, everyone's happy. Perfect, absolutely perfect. What about if he adjusted his diet and maybe looks to see it. What about going to sleep at near a machine? The machine's loud too, but maybe, let's just say that he adjusted his diet and wasn't

snoring and did that for the marriage. Would he still be in the bed? Oh, I don't know. It's so good. I have a king-sized bed and it's just so nice now. Oh, Jody, what about, if I may be so crass? Please. What about a little bit of marital relations?

What do you do in that scenario? We have two bedrooms to pick from. And then get out. That's exactly right. It's like going on a holiday for the night. Treat him like a one-night stand. Absolutely. It's spicy, doesn't it?

Jody, thank you. I mean, if that's the secret, I'm happy to take Jody's marriage advice. Sure. That's how you stay happy for a long time. Here we go. This Julia has said it's a slippery slope, Jess. I said, you know, how I start in the kids' room. She goes, we're still doing the start of the night with the kids.

The twins are now 11. I'm better at staying awake as my twin goes to sleep, so I get the whole king bed to myself. It's fine if hubby stays in the other room. 11, 11 years of it. Kathy has said my husband and I have been together 26 years, still going strong. He sleeps on the lounge every night. What?

Sleeps on the lounge. That's usually what happens. when you're in the dog house, right? But happy wife, happy life, happy life, happy spouse, happy house. What's this person saying? 17 years happily married. My husband has restless leg syndrome and I'm in perimenopause. It's better if we sleep apart.

What's peri mean? What's that mean? Peri menopause, I think, is sort of the stages before full-blown menopause. Oh, like some people call pre or whatever. Yeah, I think I think that's correct. Thank you for sharing. We have a child who comes into the bed. My boyfriend sleeps on the toddler's muscle mat

because she takes up more of the bed so he just sleeps on the floor. Muscle mat. There you go. Okay, a bit of tummy time for dad. A bit of tummy time for dad. A lot of the cookers are doing it. Aw, miss that gets too much.

So you couldn't just like leave the... But I'm the heavy sleeper Rowan, so I'm like, I don't care. Maybe he'll start sneaking out. Is it one of those things if you want to get out of not starting with the kid? is one of those things that you just got to, dare say, like a bit of term, suck it up for a couple of weeks while they get over it? I think so.

Tough, though, isn't it? It is tough, absolutely. Well, there you go. Okay, good to know. But Jody, I like that. Oh, keep it spicy. This is Jess and Rowan. Australia's favourite radio game.

Oh, my God! You dip you dip me down. Oh, my God. I'm a hell. Shy guy dips. Hell yeah, it is. Shy guy dips. It is the game where he dips lollies.

you win a pack of them if you get them right. That's right. Embibed with some fantastic Jess and Rowan Juju. Yep, Jess gives them a big smooch. I do and I'll write a personal message. Yeah. Doesn't matter how long it takes to get to you. We'll get them to you.

Sometimes there is a little bit of hot up in delivery. There was a flag with the strawberry clouds. Alana DM just being like, excuse me, it's been a week. It does happen. Sorry. You know why? It's because Rowan pissed off the posties. But then he made amends.

And then Alana got her strawberry cloud. Then Alana got her clouds. Shy guy has already accidentally told us he shopped at Woolworths. Oh, yeah, I've already got the Woolworth's. That's a free clue. We'll get another clue now and then first call it gets a supplementary clue. This could go first call, Rowan. Not a great clue because that, you know.

Well, there's a few available, you're right. But it knocks out all the Aldi weird ones. That's true. Shy Guy. Two words. Two words. Okay. Two words.

We've got to Olivia Dean and we'll come back with your guess's first clue. 131060. Come on. First clue. Woolworth. And two words. Next. This is Jess and Rowan.

Australia's favourite radio game. Oh my God. You dip you dip. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm a tall. Shy guy dips. Yep.

First clue was Woolworth. We gave you a second clue. Two words. And you will get another clue. as first caller. But 1310-Zixie, not only, Rowan, we are a miss. We said you walk away with a pack of lollies.

How silly of us not to mention, you get your voice on the air. You also could win Cooker of the Day. A $1,200 Newcastle Food Month, extravaganza. That's true. A night's accommodation, dinner, breakfast parking included,

$250 spending money, and a $200 shopping spree. Wham, thank you, ma'am. Hoolly doly. Mark, very quick on the phone. Good morning to you, my friend. Hello, Mark. Good morning.

How are you? Mark, we're fantastic. We've got lollies to give away. We've heard they're from Woolworth's. They're two words. Oh, my God. Shy guys opened to the packet. You will get another clue, my friend.

Here we go. They are very uniquely shaped and colored. Jeez, how much. Just handed it to Mark. I've had four clues right now. You're in a good mood today, sir. Uniquely shaped and colored. Is it killer pythons?

Oh, that's a fantastic guess. It's not. Damn. Sorry, it is not killer python. Good following of the clues, though. A very good following. And if I could just be so cheeky, he's in the right family, wouldn't you say, shy guy?

You know what I'm putting down? Oh, yes. You know what I'm saying? Family. Hello to you, Steph. Hello. Steph, we've heard Woolworths, two words. uniquely shaped and colored, you get another clue.

Okay. The bag is black. Okay. The bag is black. Good one. That's a new clue? Black bag. Black bag.

Black bag. Colorful lolly. Black packet. Oh, can you think kids? Oh. No, no. We have to. The brain is trust.

Snakes. Oh, we just had killer pythons. It is not snakes. There's not snakes. But I appreciate the kids where then thinking because Jess said something about family.

Keep thinking. Sarah, good morning. Good morning. Sarah, have you heard the clues so far? Yeah, I might have missed the last one. Well, the last one was black bag. You get another clue to put it all together, though. Sarah.

Wait, wait. Wait, Sarah. Hang on. These are all in the shape of an animal. Oh, animals. And it's not snakes. They're actually amazing. That's a really great shape.

Sarah, what is it? What are you thinking, Sarah? Oh, see, my daughter's thought it was something else, but now we're not sure. All right, pivot. Come on, pivot. Quick, a quick pivot. Clutch player, let's go.

Two words. Three, two. Yeah, we were saying warheads. That's not a warhead. No, not the shape of an animal. That would be a person. Stuart. Hello, Stuart.

Hi, how you going? Yeah, babe. We've had. Woolworth's, two words, black bag, unique shape and colour of each actual lolly. Another clue for Stewie. Really elastic. Whoa. You should have seen the stretch on that one, Stewie.

What are they? So I did have it bought, but I think it's, I went with trolls, gummy worms, because they're the black bag. Oh my God, bro, you are flirting with it. You are flirting with it. Someone's actually got it on the text line, Rowan, but we can't accept text. You have to call. Joshy, good morning.

Josh. Hello Josh. Hello, Josh. Yeah, man, how you going? Yeah, good. It's not killer pythons. It's not sour worms. It's not warheads.

Josh gets another clue. Josh. Wait, wait. I was guessing the sour worms too. Well, there's not sour worms. So listen to the clue and then pivot. Go, shugger. Covered in sugar.

Oh. Covered. Covered. Covered. Pivot, Josh. It's not sour worm. What else? Sour.

I just gave you. Critters. Critters. Critters. Not sour critters. Not sour critters. Not sour critters. It's not sour worms.

It's not sour critters. Lauren. Hello. Hello, Lauren. Hi. How are you? Yeah, good, babe. Do you need another clue or do you know what it is?

I think we have a guess. Okay. Do you want a clue? I'm offering it to you? Sure. All right. It's a trollie. branded lolly.

Oh, trolley-lolly. Go, Lauren. Sour gecko. Yay! Sour gecko! Well done. You see why I said the snakes were in the family, reptiles. Lauren, have you had a sour gecko?

These things look amazing. I haven't, but my daughters have. Well, you got a bag coming your way, an unopened. Bag of geckos. Well done. Thank you so much. Of course. Well done.

That might be one of our longest, Rowan. Follow about longer games. Yeah. Back next week, Shy Guy Dipper New Lolly. This is Jess and Rowan. 04,0008-1069 is the text line. If you want to get involved with the show, we have a wicked cooker of the day prize.

Every day, best contribution gets a dope, dope prize. Thank you for sharing the text line, Rowan. My pleasure. I need you to man the text line. I want to do a snap pole. Manning the text line, Jess. What's the superior when it comes to Easter eggs? Hollow or solid?

Go. 048-8-1069. Text, hollow, if you prefer hollow. Solid, if you prefer solid. There is information out of choice. You know, the consumer watchdog people? Cadbury have been caught, and I don't think Cadbury care. Sneaky Tasmanians. They have shrunk the pack of hollow Easter eggs by one egg. Of course they have. But they've upped the price. Because this is just the world we're living in.

Inflation, shrinkflation. It affects everything, including Easter eggs. And the choice people have come out saying Easter eggs are a real point of contention for Australians. So we've got data going back years. And we can see that Cadbury have done this to their hollow Easter eggs. No word on the solid. A little mini ones. So I wondered if hollow, based on this research, is where all our eyeballs are going.

Is that determining that to be the superior egg Australians choose come Easter time? So is it like the tubes, that big tube, the hollow one comes in? Well, this one is a bag, but yes, I think you can get a tube. I had to do a campaign yesterday, a little bit of content, where I was giving it out chocolate Easter eggs. Everyone going for the hollows first. And I don't know if people think because traditionally hollow eggs are a little bigger, people thinking, well, I'm getting more chalk.

But you get a handful of the mini wrapped eggs. You could get a handful of minis. Because when I started then, I was just left with minis, I'm given people three or four because it feels real tight-assie to give someone one one mini's terrible. Solid mini egg. I personally prefer a hollow. I don't know why it feels

healthier. Fin chocolate and air. Chocolate and air. Chocolate and air. Where mini-egg's just chocolate. It's just chocolate. And rapper, you eat that too? I'm not eating the foil. Good. You ever put foil in between your teeth? Awful sensation. Ew, no. You have? You know, sometimes you get a little bit excited with a kebab. Start eating a bit of the foil. Oh, been there, bro. Bender percent.

Where do you stand? Hollow solid. It depends what it is. Like if it's a... Oh, it's a bunny. Who's doing a solid bunny? No, you see, how hollow bunnies, fantastic.

You reef the ears off first and move it on. I like to keep it in the foil, smash him up, and then you've got perfectly, perfect chunks. Poor bunny. Poor bunny. But the cabri bunny is young. Get a bit of my rage out.

It's a bit scary. I'm not burning ants at the same time. I'm just smashing a chocolate bun. Burning ants? That's serial killer stuff. You know the kids who burn it. Burnance, they grow up to be cereal killers. The lint chocolate bunnies are delicious.

The lint bunnies are a thicker... So they're hollow. They're hollow, but they're a thicker outer. But the cabri-one can get thin in places sometimes. You can almost flick it and it will break. My parborg was a big fan of the red chulet bunny. And I'm like, the worst of all the bunch, but he would wrap a $20 note around it in sticky tape.

I go, well, I'll take your red chulet part. It's the cheap one, but it's got the cash. But it's got the cash. That's how he bolted up. $20 is the cost of one. Cadbury funny these days. So expensive. See, people are texting then.

Hollows are a waste of space. Give me more chalk for my buck. Which is because 88% of the vote like hollow. Well, there you go. Best type of egg and chocolate in general is the chocolate shell. Oh, hello. The Gillian. Is that the Gillian?

But that's not an Easter chock. It's too fancy for me. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, yeah. I don't know. You know what I'm talking about. That's just a romance chock. I love a kinder bunny.

A kind of bunny. Yeah, I'm more, I mean, you've got to get the cabrie. But they're famous with for the egg. Yeah, but yeah, exactly. You're getting a toy and a kinder bunny as well? Or is that just egg territory? That's an egg territory. All right.

Well, there you go. We're just trying to keep you updated team. Easter, obviously, around the corner, hollow eggs going up. I have seen some half price stuff now. Really? I mean, Hot Cross buns have been in the shop since January. Yeah, that's a big joke. That is a big joke.

But the chocolate, a lot of it is cheaper. The Easter stuff, because it's like they've bought it too early. Oh, I can. They're trying to get rid of it now, so just get it now. But the thing is, if you get it now, you'll buy more later. That's the dumb question, Rowan. Does chocolate go bad? Yeah.

Oh, it does? But not in like a week. Who keeps it in the house for long enough for it to go bad? Alana's texted and says she puts it in the freezer. That is insane. Who's doing that? Oh, we're not getting into that where you're keeping your chock, but freezer is a new addition to the chat. I like to keep it in my tummy.

This is Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes. playing for 8 o'clock and $10,000 is Karen. Hello to you, Kaz. Good morning, guys. Karen, why do you want our 10 grand? What can we do to support you today? Well, I've got a cruise addiction,

so I've just come back from one about four weeks ago, and it's time to book my next cruise. Don't we all, babe. How long was your last cruise? Two weeks. Two weeks. Have you seen this woman? I'm pretty sure she's an Aussie mom who's on, like, a four-year-one?

Oh, my God. something in your wheelhouse, Karen? Oh, definitely. Definitely. I could live with that. Okay, well, let's get your 10 grand and send you away for a year. Excellent. Okay, the letter you're going to work with today, babe, it's V.

V for Vanuatu, which might be a stop on your next cruise. For sure. All right. You're ready to rock? Yep, ready to go. Let's go. Starting with the letter V, Karen, we need you to name. A star sign.

Virgo. A cooking ingredient. A TV show. V. A sport. Pass. An occupation. A drink.

V. Oh, no. B.B. A magazine. A Vogue. A musical instrument. Violin. A female celebrity.

Pass. Oh, gee. That goes fast. It does go fast. It goes quick, done it. Cooking ingredient, it could add vinegar, TV show. Is V a show? No, is it like V music?

What was that one that Danny Clayton was on? Channel V. There was a TV series called V in the 80s. What is it? Yeah, okay. Karen, you? I thought back in the 90s. Yeah, okay.

Oh, that doesn't matter when it was. You got to ride. Well done. I'll give you the point. It's okay. Sport volleyball could have had occupation, vet, visual arts, teacher. No one in the history of Alpha Box has ever

said visual arts teacher, it upsets me. You said the first. Is that a different, I mean, is that a tick? No, it's not, is it? I didn't think it was. No, we have to take your fans. V-B would have been good, but that's not right. And then we didn't get to female celebrity, did we?

No. All right, cool. Karen, sorry, babe. Next cruise has to come out of your pocket, all right? Sorry, darling just goes blank. Yeah, always away. It's tough. We're going to send you back to Babbs.

She's our cruise expert, so maybe you can swap stories, get some recommendations. Oh, my God. She loves a boat. She loves a boat. Next, what do you wish you were good at? I struggled with this the other day. I want to talk about it next on Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan.

I was at home, obviously, watching Homeland. And I got this obviously on the couch and really enjoy myself. After the gym, did all my steps, did everything I needed to. Closed your rings and then thought, Daddy needs a sit. Daddy needs a lie down on the couch. Beautiful, beautiful couch. And I had this burst of motivation. I got this brand new, and keep in mind my birthday was probably like a week ago.

And I got this brand new Weber barbecue stand. So I've got the premium stand, which means you've got to build it all together. That's such a good gift because you already owned the Weber. And a stand is not something you want to put your own hard-earned dollars towards. That's awesome. Great gift. Got a flat plate on it too. So now it's not just the full grill.

One's half his flat. What are you doing on the flat plate? Is that for your veggies or something? You do ground beef. You could do, you know, you could do the eggs. Oh, your frying pans. Didn't you just buy frying pans? Oh, they're looking at you going, no, he'll never use this again.

Oh my God, that's so hard to clean. All right. So I started building the stand, realized I put the legs on the wrong way, then took them off, did it again, realized I had put this bar that was meant to go out the front at the back because I didn't realize that was the back. You've inverted.

You've gone back to the front. I have got these fat little fingers. Yeah, you got stumpy boys. That wasn't, I don't agree. How dare you? I'm just supporting you. Well, why are you smirking like that? Like you enjoyed saying it.

Because they're the stumpiest fingers I've ever seen in my life. you would be terrible at piano. Maybe that was the problem you had this morning show. I was the attitude, not the respect. I agree. Yeah, I start to agree too. Hey, your fingers are beautiful. You'd be great pianist.

Thank you. I'm back on board. I'm sorry, I'm agreeing with you why you'd suck at this task. So I'm not great with a screwdriver. And then the drill wouldn't fit because it was too little. For your big fat fingers? No, the bit for the screw. She's just enjoying this.

Well, it wouldn't fit in where it wouldn't go towards. You were using the wrong drill bit? No, no, no. I think you were used to be. thick. Yeah, but you just get a longer drill bit. Thank you, shy guy. I don't have long drill bits.

Well, that's where you went wrong. Because this is where I'm going. This is what I'm saying. No, no, I'm still going. I wish I was a better builder, but I'm just not. Oh, you've got other skills. Yep. But with something like this.

So what have you done? Have you left it all wonky? No, I ended up doing it. A job that should have taken probably 30 minutes. It took like two and a half hours. How'd you get around the wrong drill bit situation, though? You have to go analogue with a screwdriver. Yeah.

I would have loved to use the drill. Fair enough. And I found out there's electric screwdrivers. I was like, well, that would have fit. You need no elbow grease with those. Battery powered. So anyway, it's just every time I try and build something, I get it wrong. Do you have a lot of flat pack furniture in your house?

Yep. They're terrible. Yeah, and they're terrible. You're looking at your coffee table going, that cannot support the weight of my cup of tea. That was a piece. Like, that was just one bit into another bit and then the glass on top of it. Oh, glass.

Oh, okay. That's fine. Make it easy for Rowan. Yes, that's fine. I just wish I could build a table. There's one thing I won't be able to do is build a table. That's how I feel about sewing. Sometimes I try and tailor my own clothes.

Maybe there's a little rip in the pant. A seam has come undone. God forbid a zip's gotten stuck. Oh, you give it a go, you make it worse, and you've got to pay extra to the seams dress. Who can actually do that skill. That's what I'm saying. The stove top's just not working.

Granted, it's electrical, so I shouldn't touch it anyway. No, you shouldn't. But wouldn't it be good to just know how to fix it? Rowan, I asked my house. husband a year ago when we're still in our house. I'm sick of the one PowerPoint in the bathroom. Sometimes mummy wants the curler to start heating up while I'm hair drying. I need a double.

Came home, he'd put another PowerPoint in. Yeah. What? This is my problem. Amazing. I kind of get how it works. Like, take it off. But you're worried about electrocution.

And you would just kind of figure it out. I don't know if people should be doing it novices. I'm the type of guy that would make that mistake. Kill myself. Not show up to work the next day. Because you fried yourself. Or anything ever again. Yes.

So what do you want to ask? What do you wish? Yeah, what do you wish you were good at? I wish I had better handwriting. I've actually looked up calligraphy courses and classes, even YouTube tutorials. My daughter's daycare educators made fun of my handwriting. That's how shocking it is. It's really bad.

It's bad chicken scroll. Yeah, that might even be better. It is hard because sometimes Babs her amazing handwriting. Yeah, she's in charge of the board. And then you rub it off and do your own words. And then it's actually worse because I don't know what you're going on. Because I actually don't want to just get her in from outside. You know, she's busy.

She's answering phones. But then I look at it. I go, Rowan's not going to be able to read this. No idea. God forbid he wants to look ahead. Does I say mums or macas? Who knows? I don't know.

It actually said drink bottle. You know, it's that far off. I legitimately think if I like every day tried to build something, I still wouldn't get better. One of those things. Do you want to do a course? No. Do you want to sign?

I'll sign you up with a trading. You could do like work experience. He would take the nail gun and he would shoot me with it. It's called an apprenticeship. It's called an apprenticeship. We'll get you an apprenticeship. I've done my apprenticeship. It was 10 years.

Being told bullshit this place does. Took some of year off and they realized I missed it. 04-8-88-1069. That's our text number or 131060. What do you just wish? You were better at. Take your calls now. This is Jess and Rowan.

Right now, we're trying to support Stumpy over here. Careful, mate. Stumpy. You said it. You said it four more times. It was amusing. Your fingers. You know what?

I'm back on Shy Guy's side. He felt like he had to rush or you would have been really angry with him and he felt bullied. I get it. It's respect. You call it respect? Shy guy calls a bullying. I'm calling it bullying.

Yeah, Shagai never called a bullying. Now you're doing what are you accusing me of doing. Words in mouth. Oh, that's gaslighting. Yeah, Rowan, you're such a gas lighter. Jess on the gaslighter. New for his breakfast. That's insane.

You sound crazy. Gaslighting. Gats got to be crazy. Gaslighting. That's the joke, shy guy. I sort of know what gaslighting means. I wish I knew better with Gen Z stuff. That's a great one.

131060. Ryan wants to know. What do you just wish you were better at? Yeah. What do you could do? Like handyman stuff. I'm not really a handyman. I'm hiring some other bloke to do myself.

You're hiring a hubby. Yeah, definitely. Hiring a hubby. Had some great contributions here. Brooke has said in year two, I got a detention for how badly I cut out the outline of my paper hand. I'm now 37, still can't cut properly. Why would you give someone to detect?

If my child got detention for that. Oh, that's the reason I want to have kids to go down there and yell at the teachers. Amen. It's the only reason I want kids. Little year two, Brooke, is traumatised. Still can't use scissors properly. Oh, I tell you what. Maybe she could use scissors.

Maybe. Kelly, hello. What do you wish you were good at? Hello, good morning. Well, you know, like, you know how you're 37 and you can't do that. I'm 55 and I still can't curl my goddamn hair. Oh, that sounds, that seems hard. Can I curl your hair?

Is what you said, Kelly? No, yeah, like, you know, like, like, you know how people use a straightener and a curler. I do it and I look like I've just walked out of putting my finger in the inner socket that rose put in. Like, you know what I mean like that? I appreciate that. I think I need to get a perm. Oh, I love that. That she loves the curl.

Kelly, I have bought every tool known to woman kind. Every bit. Every bit you can think of me. I actually said to my hairdresser the other day, can I bring my tools in and can you teach me how to use them? She was like, yeah, I guess. Yeah, if you want. So maybe you can come to my tutorial when we learn how to curl our hair.

God forbid you got bangs. Oh, you could do it. Everyone wants those sweeping curtain bangs. They are impossible. No, thanks. Too hard. Let's go to Beck. Hi, Beck.

Morning. How are you? Yeah, good babe. What do you wish you were better at? I wish I was better at typing. I still type this with two fingers. I can type fast, but I wish I could use the other fingers. Oh my God, your two little index fingers doing all the work.

Exactly. Like a T-Rex. That feels like the little laughs. I see. Your elbows tucked. Has anyone in your workplace commented on that, Beck, being like, what are you doing over there? A few times over the years, yeah.

I mean, it feels like... The other fingers don't want to communicate. to each other. Yeah. But do you work with a computer, Beck? I do. I do. I do admin.

But you could, but you do that every day. Like, you could sit down and go, all right, like, my, man, just slow it down a bit and use the other fingers. Yeah, get that rude finger involved. I never use a hammer. Oh, dear. Okay. T-Rex.

See? Thumbs can do the space bar. So, there you go. As long as you can do that. Oh, Beck, that's so funny. Just thumb on it and T-Rex in it. Absolutely. I want to try and type like that.

No, I see my other thing is a desperate to get involved. This is Jess and Rowan. You were sharing something you wish you were better at. Yeah, I wish I was a better handyman. That's right, trying to build a stand for your Webber Q. It is built and, no, it's built, it's good, it works. Well, it took it longer than you wanted it to. There you go.

Very honest of you to share. But a lot of support here on the text line. Nice. 04-8-8-1-069. Other things people just wish they were better at. Jared has said, I wish I was better at handling a hangover. Takes me at least three days to recover from them. Now that I'm a bit older.

Definitely all. Emily has said, I have a huge list, Rowan. You're not alone. Building things is one of them. But being a faster reader. People seem to zoom through emails and books faster than I do. Take the time. I get it.

This person. Oh, Tina has said, I wish I was better at doing hair. I've dyed my sister's hair, which ended up with patches like a turtle shell. My brother-in-law shaved his with a razor. I did warn him. I was no good. And I shaved my nephew's hair so poorly, it looked like he had an illness.

It was that patchy. A lie as I says, hey guys, love the show. I wish I could crochet. My mother's just started crocheting. Well, she says, I work at a nursing home. I've tried to get them to teach me. I'm mind-blown that these people can do it. Not even looking. I've tried.

She's working with the experts. I suck. Prue has said, I wish I was better at cleaning. I can do it, but my God, I get so easily distracted that what should have taken me half an hour takes me a couple of days because I get caught up in too many side quests. Like in cleaning? In cleaning. Well, I think maybe she'd start in one room and then go, oh, maybe I could reorganize my jewelry draw. And then we can finish up with Reese.

Hey, race here. Oh, four, eight, double eight, one, six nine. mate, what I wish I was better at was timing my poo's right. I wish I could. I always do them in my home. I wish I could always do them in my home like shy guy. But majority of the time, I get caught in a yucky public toilet or the good old bush bog. Who's doing that, race?

She uses the right leaves. When nature calls, nature calls, I get it. But you can't time it that badly. You get caught in the bush. Got you go on your pants before you go on the bush. I was just thinking of that. I'd have to sacrifice a sock unless you've got toilet paper. This is Jess and Rowan.

Jop. Jop. Jus and Rowans. Normally one a week, guys. But today and this week, you get that prize every day. We've got five across the week. Sik.

Unbelievable. All you've got to do is contribute. DM, comment, call, text, whatever it might be. What is that? $1,200. of prizes to enjoy Newcastle Food Month and nights accommodation at the Crystal Brook Kingsley, dinner, breakfast and parking.

Yep. $250 spending money to enjoy a plate date or put it towards a feature event. Yep. And then $200 shopping spree at Charlestown Square. How good? Just for sending us a text. How good.

Or calling the show. Earlier this morning, Rowan, we talked about the, I guess, phenomenon sweeping Australia, roughly four out of five couples asleep divorcing. 80%? Is that 8%?

Otherwise happily married or togethered, partnered, de facto. Cool. Who decide not to sleep in the same bed. We asked for your calls. Jodie rang said, I've been married 30 years. 32, in fact. In the last two years, my husband and I decided, that's it. Separate beds.

Enough's enough. Enough's enough. But she went on to give us this extra information. If I may be so crass, what about a little bit of marital relations? What do you do in that? We have two bedrooms to pick from. And then get out. That's exactly right.

Oh, Jovie. Treat him like a one-night stand. Absolutely. It's spicy, doesn't it? So we're going to have to make sure Jody gets a twin-share room. We're not giving them two rooms. She can have a twin-share bed situation. Like a Burton-urnia.

This is very important. Very important. So Jody, thank you for that. You've won Cooker of the Day. And back again tomorrow with another cooker of, of the day. Absolutely. So thank you to all the contributions.

May, that text line popping off. But we love Joie to go on old school and actually picking up the phone. Well, don't, tough. Thanks for calling us. Yeah, back two days tomorrow. We also do more live the dream through the day and through drive. And we're back tomorrow with another prize. Oh my God, we've got What's the threesome tomorrow?

What's the threesome? It's all happening, guys. See you from six tomorrow. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Macca's Bistro, Bernays, Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.