Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | And your eyebrows suck!

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

We talk ghost poos, how Jess got humbled on Instagram and play Wordie - oke!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McRap is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo Podcast. Welcome to the podcast everybody! Well, wonderful to do one with you. Ah yes, good to have you back. Were you doing them this week, the podcast toppies? We won yesterday. You did one?

Babs and I did one yesterday. Yeah? Babs and I, you laugh here. What are you giggling at? No, because we were just talking about my guts the whole time. Yeah, we did, yeah. It was the most passion she gave me too, the entire morning. Babs was I. You're laughing. What are you giggling at? No, because we were just talking about my guts the whole time. Yeah, we did, yeah. It was the most passion she gave me, too. The entire morning, Babs was just firing up over her guts.

Wow. As in, have you had troubles? No, it's been good. Was there things to share? We were talking about how I've been feeling pretty good. Yeah, feeling pretty good. I've been feeling pretty good. You'll hear it in the show probably very often.

I talk about ghost poops or the unicorn poop, the perfect poop. Babs, you ever had? Or as I like to call them, the Doctor Who's. The Doctor Who's. It makes sense, sort of. Babs, you ever had one of those? They're rare, but the Doctor Who's. The Doctor Who's. It makes sense, sort of. Babs, you ever had one of those? They're rare, but they happen. They're very...

When they happen, isn't it such a good day? I know. It's like, whoa, where did it go? It's a phantom. It is funny to think it is that heavy. It just like sent itself down the pipe. You didn't even need to flush. I'll see myself off.

They're so good, ghost poos, because not that you know you don't need to wipe until you've already wasted toilet paper, but they could save TP and they save water because you don't have to flush. So true. Unbelievable. Oh, I still flush. Why? It's gone. Well, because I reckon it's only gone like-

Oh, down the S-bed. It probably comes back out. That's why it would still smell. It would still permeate. Oh, it's just sitting there. You don't flush when you do a ghostie? There's nothing to flush. Oh, goodness me.

Bro, you know I don't flush at the best of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, your toilet. Because I don't want to wake the baby. Wake the baby, yeah. Won't somebody think of the baby? I tested your flush at your house and realized. You, I question that experiment.

Yeah, I agree. You recorded at the base of the toilet. You needed to record in my daughter's room, which is adjacent to the bathroom, to really have a understanding of how loud the pipes are. Anyway. Anyway. You'll hear that in the show.

That's the only time you hear about guts and that sort of stuff in the show. It's been a big show, though. Your first one back of the week. That's right. I don't remember having this much time off from an illness ever. Like, I took two months. You took two last year, two days. Two days when I had some sniffles.

Last year, yes. And I think this was three. Otherwise, the mat leave was two months, like a six-week period of in-show stuff. But that was a long time. Yeah, three days is a long, in this game too, because it's ever-moving content, the show. People listen.

They know you're off, so it's like very obvious. And to be honest, there's a part of me that went, should I just write the week off? Like, it felt so weird to return on a Thursday. Yeah. I did wonder. Yeah. And to be honest, our boss said, take another day.

I'm like, I need to get out of the house. I'm going a bit stir-crazy and a bit too much head noise. Yeah. And the team needs you. The team needs you. As we talked about, the wobbly table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The wobbly table Yeah yeah yeah The wobbly table

When two Because Shy Guy's still out Of the legs are out Goodness gracious You know what this meant too As our boss he told me You know it was One sick

We're all out We do a pre-record show After this he's like Okay if one of you's sick now You still do the show With the others I.e. if you're gone I still do it with Shy Guy and Babs

If I'm gone You still do it with Shy Guy and Babs Okay but in this instance Two of us were out Exactly So is he sticking with that? We still did it With Babs Shy Guy and Babs Okay, but in this instance, two of us were out Exactly So is he sticking with that? We still did it, Babs and I So Babs, that's obviously an indictment

You did that well, that Jase has gone, alright Thing is, if me and Shy Guy are out, I don't think you guys can do a show Because no one can panel That's true So you're going to say because no one wants to just hear about our Diva Cup vs Tampon debate It's a bit of a sleigh show to be honest Totally You were rolling out with me yesterday.

Now you're sleighing. She is a chameleon. 6 a.m. Diva Cup. 7 a.m. Tampon. 8 a.m. Period.

I would pay a bit of money to hear Babs being anchored too. You know what I mean? What do you mean? Give her a bit of a song. You're going to come off the song. Go. Introduce Jess and Babs. This is Calvin and Ellie Goulding.

Okay, pretend you're me. You've come off the song. All right. Here we go. That was Ellie Goulding with Okay, pretend you're me. You've come up with the song. All right. Here we go. That was Ellie Goulding with what's the song called? Miracles. Yep. And you've got Jess and Babs here slaying the day.

Jess, how are you feeling today? I'm feeling so good. Diva Cup is inserted well, Babs. That's so scary. Here's Lady Gaga. Oh, you want me to punch out Ellie? Yeah. I've had a co-host do that to me before.

You know what I also want to hear? If I'm sick and Shy Guy's going to press the buttons, because he can panel. Not well, but he can. Yeah, but the issue with young Shy Guy is it's all or nothing. You know, it'll be all about focus on the buttons, and I'll be wanting some jabs, some bands, and he'll be focusing on when to hit the out.

And then would he anchor or would you? Because would he do that back announcing or would you have to do it? Because I think he would. I think he would. So when you go, I was actually thinking when you go on paternity leave, we're talking about that, the guy who's coming in. Yeah, we haven't spoken about him yet. We should introduce him in the next couple of weeks.

Should. Put that down, Babs. I won't say his name. Let's call him E. Yeah, yeah. I'm almost like, an E does panel. Like he does it. But the rice cookers know me. So should

I just start doing it? Oh, please. You know what I mean? Do I start doing, you know? Let's go. Yo, yo! Oh, no. 10, 2, 8. That is Kelly Gordon and Calvin Miracles on Hit Breakfast. You have got Jess and E, obviously, on paternity, Gordon and Calvin. Miracles on Hit Breakfast.

You have got Jess and E, obviously, Ducko. On paternity leave, my brother, we're sending love. We've just become... She's like American or something. It was American, then we're going to be like Rocky, we're going to be gangstery. I've really got to find my voice. My anchoring voice. Did it take you a long time to sort of settle into that role?

Yeah, because it's artificial as all hell. It's so artificial. Coming up with a song, being the first one to speak. It's easy when someone speaks and then they've done it and then you can come in. Absolutely. Being the first one to set the tone and come off a song and then tease something coming up or do whatever.

Yes. Yeah, it's a weird sort of. Yes. Can you imagine? I used to do that. Yeah, crazy. I actually can't imagine it. I'm going to find you some of my old tape from my regional radio days because it was just. Because I used to do that. Yeah, crazy. I actually can't imagine it. I'm going to find you some of my old tape from my regional radio days

because it was just. Because I used to be solo, so I think you sort of master it solo and then coming with a show, it's a unique set of skills. Yes, yes. And you feel like a wanker, but it's very energy and tone and coming off. You know what? I haven't reflected enough because I've told you I was a mad bitch when I started in radio.

I was so anxious about doing such a good job. I treated my co-host Tommy like dirt because I thought, we've got to be better. We've got to be the best. There's no room for error. You know, we want to get noticed and get accolades. It means we need to be bang on, which meant anything he did just grated on me.

I sat him down after one show, Duck, and I went, right, the mouth noises, we've got to talk about them. Because he was, I guess, a salivary young boy, so I'd always hear this. Oh, yeah. So Jess, you know, and I could, it drove me up the wall. And how would young Jessica feel about current Jessica eating on air? See, what a fucking hypocrite.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I once had a go at it. Times have changed. Because I used to do, now I learnt this in radio school, I'd go, I'm glad you don't do this because it adds unnecessary anxiety into the room. But I would say, and mic's going on. Oh, yeah, mic's on.

Mic's on. Mic's on. Mic's up. But I would turn the mics on and then Tommy would put his headphones on and I felt like I could hear that. The headphones getting put on. Coming through. Well, you can.

Yes, that. Yeah, you can. Okay, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was another meeting after the show. You know what? When I say mics on, the headphones need to have been put on in that moment because I am then pressing the button and I don't want to hear no flibbering, gibbering, you know,

mucking around. Yeah, you'll hear that. You'll be smooth. You know what I do in this room, especially if all of us are in about to speak, I've got all the faders up for the mic. You say, shut the fuck up! No, no, no. I'll just like, you guys can see, I'll put my headphones on.

I'll turn only my mic on. I don't turn yours on. And then I go, it's Jess and Duncan. It's here, breakfast, 9.58, coming up. And after I've teased what's coming up, then I put your guys' mics on. You do do that. So you guys can't fuck it up. Some of you guys are still speaking.

And I'll come on air and you're still speaking, but they can't hear you. You're absolutely right. See, that's you being a great anchor and working around your idiot colleagues. Whereas me, I get on my level. We're on. We're on. I almost needed the director in the corner going, and three. Yeah, three, two, one.

And we're live. I would love you to run in before each talk break and reset the room. Give us a countdown. Nothing gets led in the pants more than a live countdown. Oh, I love that. And then just the three, two, but then the silent. The point. Yeah, the point.

Three, two. Cool. Good morning and welcome to the program. Good morning, Vietnam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, that's a bit cool. So should I do it? Oh, yeah, yeah. The anchoring. Oh, Vietnam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, that's a bit cool. So should I do it?

I think I'd be great at it. I think you definitely should. I can't wait. Yeah. I'm looking forward to hearing a bit of you and E do the show because I have had to do the show. We had Ash London fill in when you were gone, done with pads and stuff.

But I haven't heard you do a show with another guy. Nah, man. Ooh, it's going to be... God, I was going to say the most fucked up thing. It's like when you watch your partner with another person. I'm going to be cuckolding. Jess is... I'm cucking.

I'm watching. I don't think you'll like it. No, I probably won't. I listened the first day of my mat leave to you schmoozing with Ash, and I was weirdly jealous. Yeah, but you can't help it because it's a different dynamic. I was like, you're mine, and I am yours. I'm only doing two weeks off air, though, so I probably...

Yeah, yeah. I'll listen maybe, but I don't know. I'm not good in those situations because I then also get very, like, control-y of, like... And Ash and I, I think we're quite similar in our sense of humour and those things, but there were moments where I went, no, no, you should have said this because I know Ducko would have played right there. It makes you realise when you're like, oh, and someone else sits in the chair

and you're like, it's just different. That's right. Like I told you, my mum listened yesterday to you and Babs' show and she was like, Babs did a good job, but it was different. It's always different. It's a different brain. Absolutely. I mean, I've got no qualifications, let's be different. It's a different brain. Absolutely. I mean, I've got no qualifications.

Let's be real. You did a great job. I have a business management degree. No, I mean like, you know what I mean. I know what you mean. Did it make you want to be on air at all doing that essay? Did it make you appreciate it? It made me appreciate it a lot more because it's hard, obviously.

Tell me how good we are. Yeah, you're amazing. Thank you so much. I appreciate that you go, okay, I want to stay in my lane. I mean, like, I don't know. I was like, I actually kind of do enjoy this, but I just don't think me as like I'm that. Way to be a presenter.

Yeah, I'm not enough, you know, I don't have enough gusto. You're the good cameo person for the show we have now. Yeah, I think I couldn't like. Someone DM'd the show page, Jess and Ducco, and said, more of Boss Jase and Babs, please. Absolutely hilarious. Boss Jase. Jase was chimed in a little bit. We were adding him on the phone.

Was he sassy now? It was just because he sounds so fucking sassy when he speaks. He does, yeah. He's like, unbelievable. Outstanding. He was just doing bad stuff. You should have seen the first- Who needs Boss Jase?

That was a great impression. It was actually so funny. The first break of the show when he couldn't work the technical gear out there. Me and Babs were like... Oh, what a boomer. And he couldn't hear anything

and he's going like this. He's looking at me going, I can't fucking hear you. I was like, why make us feel relaxed, mate? And then the microphone's turned off and he pressed the intercom and he's going,

Babs! Babs! Babs! I need you! Brilliant. It was very funny. Oh. Well, no wonder that person

enjoyed the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was good. But it was good to have you back, so it was very funny. Well, no wonder that person enjoyed the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was good. But it was good to have you back, so it was good to have everyone in their roles. It was nice. Yeah, it would be nice when even Charlotte goes in here and I'm like, ah. I know. It makes, you know what, it's a week like this which makes me realise what we have is

good. Amen. Because then when it's like, it's scattered and I was listening back to some of the best off breaks we were playing and I was like, oh, where's the team at? Yes, yeah. We're back, baby. We're back. We're back.

Okay, it's a good show for you. Jess and Ducco in the morning. Good morning, indeed. Just before 6 o'clock now. All this week, we've been having issues with sickness. No Jess. I had no Shiger. I had no Baz.

Baz is back. Today, do we have a Jess? Good morning, Ducco. Oh, my God. Oh, baby. It feels like I've been gone a year. Yeah, it does. It feels like I went on that leave again or something.

Oh, my God. The world has shifted on its axis. Everything was out of whack. I'm sorry. I'm just going through our text messages. People very mad that you were doing replays for a bit. I'm sorry. I'm just going through our text messages. People very mad that you were doing replays for a bit. I'm sorry I was ill. That's why Babs and I had to do a show yesterday.

Babs is here as well. Good morning, Babs. Welcome back. Good morning. Thank you. Babs, I was getting text messages about you, girlfriend. Yeah. Very proud.

You stepped up for my boy here. She was loving it. It's very hard to do this job solo. We always doff our caps to the solo jocks on the station because that job is so much freaking harder being on your own. It's not as fun either. It's certainly not as fun. You are up against it.

And I know we play a team sport here. Yes. And I know when one member of the team goes down, one cog of the machine takes themselves out of action, all the cogs, more pressure on the other cogs. Yeah, all the cogs are working overtime. No more than you, sir. Yes.

How are you? No worries. And how have the past couple of days been? You've been copping it from Bryce Cookers, who aren't happy about replays. You've been copping it from left, right and centre. It's been good. It's been good? Just another day. No, it's been fine. It's been okay.

The replays were okay. Not as fun, obviously, being here and doing that. Yesterday with Babs, we had a good time. I'm so glad to hear it. Shaga's still been sick. Because you got it. Hang on, so you checked in. Do I have a Jess?

Yeah, yeah. Keep going around the room. Do I have a Shaga? I was like, do I have a Babs? Okay. Yeah. Because Monday was me and Shaga. And then he got really sick.

He got really sick. He said he's the most sick he's ever been, which he says every time. That's true. Is he awake now, Babs? I don't even think we can joke about Scabies. No, he said he wasn't waking up until later. Oh, that means he's proper sick. He's proper sick.

Because he usually, even if he's on his, well, Scabies deathbed, he will put the listener app on. He loves it. And air check us from home, and we get notes. He was doing that yesterday, which I thought he'd be back today, but he got worse over the day. He got worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He might not even be in tomorrow.

Because Boss Jase did text me and say, I'll take another day. Yes. You know, we've got a big event tomorrow. Take another day. And I was like, no, I'm going out of my mind. Yeah. And we can get into that a bit later.

But I want to come back. I want to see my friend. I want to laugh. I want to do something. I need to laugh. I need to get out of my four walls. Yeah. I tried to force the baby to sit

outside with me yesterday just to see the sky. She was not in the mood. Because you got sick and then you passed it on to Lucia. Please don't even phrase it like that because I will. Oh, sorry. You got sick and she got sick independently. Correct. I actually would like to flip the narrative that she was actually sick first. Well, we need to unpack who was patient zero.

Because everyone says, you know, once kids start daycare. So I really like her to be point zero because if I got her sick. Yeah. I mean, it's going to happen. She's going to get you sick plenty of times in life. A hundred percent. She'll get me back for sure. She'll get you back.

But yes. Yeah. Did Angus get it? No. Weird. And it's funny. We'll get into that a little bit later on the show as well. Because he is such a germaphobe, which one hurt my feelings because he wouldn't kiss

me. Yeah. And I got this because he wouldn't kiss me. Yeah. And I got this weird like, please love me. He goes, I'm trying to be the only one in the house, him and the dog, who doesn't come down with this thing. But I got weirdly sensitive about it. Hold my hand. While you're spluttering and coughing. He wouldn't accept any gift I gave him.

Like I offered to make him a coffee. I offered to bring him something. He literally was like, don't worry about it. Do people at your hazmat suit he wears when you get too gassy? Yes, yes. I thought PPE all got burnt after COVID. No, he's still got shares in PPE. He whips it out. He comes out looking like one of the

back to full strength. Comes out looking like one of the you know on Monsters Inc when the sock makes it back to Monster World. Sorry, Jess, that's just far too niche. I thought you were going to say, like, the Michelin Man in Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah, like the big puffy guy. Nah, nah, you know, like, you know when there's a hazard in the sock

and they come in through the skylights. Anyway, he kept himself safe. She's back. She's back. She's back. I hit Babs with one of those yesterday. I'll have you know. She did a niche quote.

Oh, she did the niche quote? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hit her with a niche thing. I'd love to know what it was. Can anyone recall? It was for Step Brothers. Oh. It wasn't niche.

It wasn't actually niche. I've warned you about being too trigger happy on that thing. I watched one together. It's one on normality. That's very fair. Whoever's in that chair seems to quote stuff. I'll hit you with on that thing. I watched one together. It's what a normality. That's very fair. Whoever's in that chair seems to quote stuff. I'll hit you with the niche stick. Anyway.

Right, well, I'm glad he's okay. I'm glad you're okay. He's okay. Lucia's okay. We'll unpack it all a little bit later in the show. We will. We will. Unfortunately, we are.

Shy guy down. Still? Yeah, he's still gone. I mean, he's a massive package on here. Three legs of the table are back. That's a less wobbly table. This is the most we've had all week. Two legs of a table.

And I heard Boss Jase was filling in for Babs. He was, yeah. So Babs is in for me. She's seen the great boomer on the phones out there. He was just yelling at things. Didn't know what to do. Trying to buzz in with things from the text line, I imagine. Was he updating the Instagram story?

He wasn't doing anything. Our social medias have been dead. Oh, it really has. It's been dead. I was like, it's sick, just like Jess's. That's right. It needs some doing anything. Our social medias have been dead. Oh, it really has. It's been dead. I was like, ah, it's sick, just like Jess's. That's right. It needs some bed rest. It does. And we're back. Well, the good news is we're back, and we have more chances

of your Dua Lipa tickets, plus a night stay at the Ridges in the heart of Sydney accommodation. Hell yeah. That's happening. We'll draw it tomorrow. Not many people in the door as well. Oh, of course, because we haven't done anything. Yep. We have 10K Alphabucks up for grabs. We're going to run you through what happened with Alphabucks yesterday when you were away. I'm seeing there was an incident.

I had a Barry. Alpha Bucks incident? I had a Barry. Okay. Yeah. All right. It's all happening. Okay.

Do we need some – all right, run me through it. Run me through it in a bit. Up next, though, you're back. Let's talk ghost poos. Oh, it wouldn't be JD if he didn't have a little bit either naughtiness or a little bit of toilet gear. Toilet gear. To kick us off. Thank God all is right in the world again.

Jess and Ducco. Team is sort of back together again. That's right. Three legs at the table, baby. This is Jess Fartioni reporting in for duty. She's back. I apologize. I apologize.

But we are back and coming up inside about 20 minutes, Ducco, I need to have a go at you. Okay. All right. Something's happened, has it? Something's happened and it's been brewing now for many days because I haven't been able to get it off my chest. Stop looking at the board.

Don't try and work it out. I need to suck a punch out with surprise. You can't be angry at me. I've been doing it on my own. Well, now I'm going to have to maybe rein it in because you have a lot to come back at me with. Anyway, we'll get to that. Right now, we need to talk ghost poos. We must.

We must. Have you ever been faced with one? Or they're called unicorn poops. I've not heard the phrase unicorn. Now, I want to make sure I'm thinking of the right species. Yes. Ghost is when you know you've sat down. You feel.

Yeah, this is it coming in. This is my favourite. This is it leaving the anus. Yep. You feel, and that's the operative word, feel it leaving. Yes. But then you go to wipe. Nothing there.

Nothing there. Exactly that. Yes. It is. No wipers, they call them. Even, do you go to look down and there's nothing there? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you go to look down, as in in the bowl. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's sunk right down. It's like the perfect, yeah, it's there? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you go to look down, as in in the bowl. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's sunk right down. It's like the perfect weight. Well, it's disappeared. It's gone. It's gone. So you can either call them.

I mean, there's plenty of different. So Julia Barton, who's a physical therapist at Stanford, calls them unicorn poops or no wipers. No wipers is good. I like those. NWs. Yeah, NWs is very good. Someone else calls them, what's this?

Dr. Ira Leeds in Yale calls them the Nirvana poops. I thought someone called them the Dr. Ira Leeds. I'm like, what does that mean? Why would you do that? Sorry, the Doctor Who. I was never a... She's from Yale. I never watched Doctor Who.

Does he disappear? Nirvana poops. Oh, sorry, Nirvana. Yeah, I appreciate it. Where am I getting Doctor Who? I don't know where you got Dr. Ira Leeds from Yale Medicine. I don't know. Ah, you've been away for a few days.

We'll get you back to match fitness. It's like you're coming back from an injury. It's a soft tissue. We're just trying to ease you into it. Did I just plug out? What am I saying? I'm going to stop. Continue.

But did you see how I supported you? I was like, yeah, yeah, whatever she said. Anyway. You're a good friend. Ghost poops are bowel movements that leave no skid marks on the toilet or when you go to wipe, nothing there. Hence NW. They are a four on the Bristol stool scale.

Now, the Bristol is the different types, isn't it? And is four like, is that a good one? Four is perfect. One is like Babs's. So one's like the GYG poop that Babs produces. So one is like just completely water. Absolutely. You need more...

Fibre. Fibre. You need more something to make your... Meta-align, perhaps. Solid. Yeah, something solid. Now, you should actually, they say you should always, as gross as it is, look down and see what you are to see where you are.

A little bit of self-reflection. Yeah, because it tells you a lot about your guts, your insides. It could lead to other health issues if you're in there straining or you do more than three wipes. I know I feel awful. I don't need to see. I don't need to see it to confirm that that was not pleasant coming out. You know, because we always talk about getting bidets on this show. We do.

Pardon us for trying to be tidy. Yeah, well, thank you. We're clean. Bidets are meant to be the best thing for you because apparently wiping is actually really bad for you. Hey, man. It's not actually good for you in general. I've told you about my time in India. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They don't have toilet paper. No, it's not a thing. They have a jug and a tap. Particularly not who gives a crap toilet paper, which is so rough on the boot. Oh, we love my earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love my nature. But she's not gentle on my rectum.

She is not. It is basically sandpaper. Yeah, yeah, it's bad. And that's fine because we love my nature. But yes, using your hand and a jug and some water is much better. Have I? So Morgan's got one of those things out. You probably use it after childbirth where you can clean your perineum and everything.

The little squeezy bottle. It's a squeezy bottle. With the angled head. Correct. So you can clean the blood and everything away. Yes. So you don't have to touch. You can just.

Correct. So she whipped it out last night to show me. This is what I got. My first thing was like, can I use that as like a bidet. Yes. So you don't have to touch. You can just. Correct. So she whipped it out last night to show me. This is what I got. My first thing was like, can I use that as like a bidet? Yes. Like, can I use that for myself now pre-using it? She's like, well, no. You can't.

Like, you're not touching yourself. You absolutely. You know what? I've got a spare one. I'll bring you mine. Please wash it. I gave. Please wash it.

I think I've rinsed it since. Jess and Daco. Ten minutes. We are going to play Alpha Bucks. Who read the questions? Well, this is what we want to unpack. I was going to say, because I take a lot of pride. I mean, I've worked on it for six years.

You've done a lot. My question asking. And it's tough. The pressure of asking the question, going to the next one, as they're saying it, maybe they're getting it right or wrong. You've got to keep moving forward, right? Thank you for acknowledging that. Now, I normally do the answers, which Babs was doing yesterday.

Babs even said, I found that tough because it's like, do I award it? Do I not? I have questions, but then I'm moving on. Absolutely. In that moment to just ascertain, you've got half a second. So this time yesterday, when we played Alpha Bucks, I did the questions. Babs did the answers. It went off perfectly.

Beautiful. Well, great. We're rolling in for 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock comes around. We met a crazy rice cooker. Oh, really? What was her name again? Tony?

It was Tony. Tony. Yeah, Tony. Tony was loving that. Tony with an I. Tony, yes. Every Tony with an I I know. Be crazy.

Oh, be crazy. And I love it. Mum, best mate. You know, pelvic bowl. Yes. Mel, her mum. Antonetta. Goes by Tony. Tony with an I. I could see that. Tony with an I. Could definitely see that. Yeah, I love it. Mom, best mate. You know, pelvic bowl. Yes. Mel, her mom. Antoinetta. Goes by Tony.

Tony with an I. I could see that. Tony with an I. Could definitely see that. Yeah, you get it. Tony wanted to buy her daughter an animal farm or something like that. Fantastic. It's just craziness.

Anyway, in my defense, I'll play the audio, but in my defense, I knew she'd got it wrong from the second question. Like, she couldn't win the money. Okay. She'd already said something that wasn't the right answer. That doesn't mean we take our foot off the gas. No, no. Because, you know, some people want to walk

away with their head held high. You also know that I'm slightly dyslexic, okay? I do know that. By slightly, like a lot. So here's how it went. Okay. A sauce. Aioli. An apple. An animal.

Alpaca. So the letter was A. The letter was A. Yeah. And I asked her, when I looked down at the sheet and saw animal, I asked her for an apple. You did. Now, I just want to ask you a question,

and I hope this isn't insensitive. I hope I don't get cancelled. I thought dyslexia was jumbling the letters. It is. But you've just made up new letters. I've just had an absolute doozy. I don't know. It's like swapping letters from above and before.

Oh, you're pulling letters from anywhere on the page. I can't remember what was below it, Babs. I can't remember what was below it. Something with a P, maybe. Yeah, I was looking ahead of time to go like, because I tick. Oh, and what's ahead, which is dumb. I should have stayed right in the present. Oh, you've got to a P, maybe. Yeah, I was looking ahead of time to go like, because I tick. Oh. And what's ahead, which was dumb. I should have stayed right in the present. Oh, you've got to stay in the moment.

Hey, we've talked about the power of now. I'm going to stay right in the moment. Okay. Do you have the sheet there, Babs? Because she's looking at it. Because Aioli was the correct, but you're saying before that. Maybe. She had asked.

Maybe. I jumbled something around. Sure. So, no, there was a medication, and she said. Valium. No, because it was Aioli. She said like, she said antiseptic. Oh, okay. So I was like, okay, she medication and she said... Valium. No, because it was A. She said antiseptic. Oh, okay.

So I was like, okay, she's not going to win. Sure, sure. So I think I was thinking, oh, that's a grey area, but I'll keep going. And then I don't know where Apple came from. You're trying to do a million things. And I'm also, Jess, I'm on the tools over here, right? Oh, daco. Controlling the timer.

Do you know what? Now that we've cleared up the dyslexia thing, you are absolutely forgiven. Thank you so much. It is tough. And the question was an animal. You just said an apple. I don't know why. But what was below it?

What was the question below? Something you wear. Nah. Can't justify that. I need to know where the peas were on the piece of paper that his mind's eye pulled out. I don't know where I got it from. And then when we'll go through the end. Maybe you caught a glimpse of your Apple iPhone in the corner.

Possibly. We weren't even talking about fruit. And then going through the end, because it was all a bit of a cluster up by that stage, you got through six or seven. I was like, let's go through the ones you missed. And I'd said one. She's like, no, I got that one. I was like, all right, Tony.

I love just in the moment, just quickly, are there any apples that do start with A? Well, if there are, jokes on everyone else. You could have really doubled down and gone, that's the question. And the thing is, if it wasn't apple, it could have been anything I said. I could have slipped it through. Absolutely. Couldn't get away with that one at the moment. Should have seen Boss J's and Babs' faces when I said apple.

They all looked at me like, what? Because, you know, we try and be very kind to the rice cookers. We've had some rice cookers. You tell them the letters A and they go rogue and just start saying things that start with G. And you go, stop! We're happy to start again. Hang on, I'll stop. There's two apples. Oh, hang on a minute. The autumn crisp and the arcane. You could have got away with it.

And we could have said it was a really hard question. What the lesson here is, bro, is always double down. Damn it! I should be like, apple! That's it. The autumn crisp, you idiot. Hello, everyone knows the Autumn Crisp. What are you stuck on, Tony? Granny Smith.

Grow up. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We'll come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for 10K. Our player today is Lauren. Hello, Lauren. Good morning. Lozzie, good morning. How are you feeling today? Are we ready to win 10 grand?

I hope so, yes. I'm hoping that because you're back today and you're not sick, that'll be my good luck charm. It's a good omen. It's a good omen. It's a good omen. It's a good omen. Did you catch Babs and Ducko yesterday doing the quiz? Yeah, you were like, maybe I'll hold on.

Babs did a fabulous job. Babs did a fabulous job. She did. She did a great job filling in. Yeah, she really did. And how did Ducko go, do you think, reading the questions? I mean, we just heard a little, just a little whoopsie-daisy. Yeah, a little vary, a little slip.

Everyone has a moment of, you know. Oh, that's it. I like you,. Everyone has a moment of, you know. I like you, Lauren. Lauren is a good, good person. Loz, what do you want to spend $10,000 on? I need to buy a car. I'm currently without one, so that will really help. Okay. Alright, well, good

motivation. Yes. The letter, it's solid, Lauren. The letter's S. S for solid. That's what you're going to work with today, alright? Surely today's the, Lauren. The letter's S. S for solid. That's what you're going to work with today. All right? All right. Surely today's the day Lauren gets this car.

Come on. This could be one of the great comebacks. Could be an SUV she gets. Hello. It could be, yeah. It could be. All righty, Lauren, you ready? I'm ready. Okay, your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter S, we need you to name an ice cream topping. Strawberry. A car brand. Subaru. An Australian sports person. Samter. A kitchen utensil. Spatula.

A country. Spain. A reality TV show. Pass. A reality TV show. Pass. A sharp object. Pass. An app. Spotify.

A colour. Oh, you were out of the gates. You were great. The first five were some good answers too. I thought we were very much on. Yeah, me too. Reality TV show, very much on. Yeah, me too. Reality TV show, that is hard. You got yourself six.

Reality TV show could have been Selling Sunset or Say Yes to the Dress. And then a sharp object, sword. I know swords aren't usually top of mind. Yeah, or a scythe. A scythe. I'll just accept it, a stick. Some sticks can be sharp. Some really sharp.

A colour could have been silver or saffron. I think by then you'd run out of time and your brain was working in overtime. Look, you don't go away empty-handed, Lauren. You get $100 worth of fuel when you do get the car. Oh, awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you, Lauren. Between that and the sex toys,

I reckon they're the two best minor prizes we've ever had. $100 worth of fuel is a great prize. That's right. I'd play a Fox to lose just for that. Well, there you go, Lauren. You enjoy it. You enjoy it. Thank you so much. Thank you. We do play again at 8. The whole team's back now, so you can see

everyone knows their roles. Everyone knows their roles. Babs, how did you feel out there? She's already talking to Lauren. See, she's doing her job. She was so eager to get back to her duties. She felt good sitting in that chair today. She does and she looks good out there too. Speaking of looking good.

There we go. My friend. I know you've had the weight of the world on your shoulders all week because I removed myself from the show. I was unwell. Oh, but I've got a bone to pick. Oh, I've got a bone to pick. And I don't know if it's karma, so feel free to have that card up your sleeve.

But I'm not happy with you. I'm nervous. I'm not happy with your wife. Oh. And by extension, your unborn child. Okay. All right. Well, Jess is back for one day.

I'm getting in trouble. We'll do it now. Jess and Ducko in the morning. The full team's here except for Shaga. He is still away sick, but we're operating at a high capacity and we have all weeks. That's something. That's something. We have three legs of the table back.

Still a little wobbly without Mr Guy, but up until this point. He is the most supporting of the legs. He is. He's actually the one in the middle. We're just decorative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Babs feels load-bearing.

You and I. Don't make that Babs. I'm saying you're integral to the structure of this program. That's what I meant. You and I are decorative. I took that as I was a big fatty or something. Like short and stumpy.

Babs will hold us down. You are integral to the structural integrity of this program. I'm going to start using that to the ladies in the office. Hey, you're load-bearing for this company. Yeah, maybe don't do that. Yeah, don't. That feels like one I could maybe do. You cannot.

Anyway, stop trying to distract me. I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble, yeah. I know it's been a few days. And you might, it might be know it's been a few days. Yeah. And you might, it might be a long distant memory for you. Yeah. But I've been stewing in my own juices for, oh God, five days now.

You're marinating. Marinating. Have had no one with which to vent my anger. And you are, unfortunately, well, I'm happy to hear your defense. Okay. Maybe the blame lies solely with your wife. It could. It normally does.

It normally does. Okay. All right. I'm sorry that I've taken all of this week off. We have yet to celebrate and acknowledge, maybe you did do it earlier, how wonderful your baby shower was. It was good fun. On Saturday afternoon. Yeah.

God, I carried on when you left, though. Did you? It was a 2am-er. Are you joking? No. Yeah. God, I carried on when you left, though. Did you? It was a 2am-er. Are you joking? No, yeah. That's what I thought. If anyone's going to be sick on Monday, it's going to be me. It was my last hurrah.

And it's funny because Morgan shared some pictures on Instagram. You both did the collaborated post, but I assume she wrote the caption because it said, Ducker assures me this was his last, last, last, last hurrah. I just thought she meant, you know, the glass of rosé and a few beers you had at the baby shower. You went out till 2am? I know you had mates up from all around the country.

Yeah, they came back to our place and, you know, yeah. Did you stay at your house till 2am? Yep. While your pregnant wife was asleep? Yeah, she went to bed, yeah. It was a few conversations hard. Oh, it was my last hurrah, I'm done. It was your last hurrah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that is the state you were in the next day when you chose the photos that you were going to share. Oh. Because in my... I'm just going to send you exhibit A and exhibit B. Oh, so Morgan did the post. So...

So, Ducko, I came down with something, as you know. Yes. And much to my chagrin, much to my wound and soul, I go through the album. That would have to be one of the worst photos of me, the group pic on your carousel. I want to take full credit for the hat party. Yeah, the hat party was fine.

You brought hats to the thing. It was a hat party. You had said... Babs looks ridiculous too. In fact, none of you look good. Not even Angus looks good. Luchy is not even looking good. You know who looks good?

Okay, okay. You know who looks good in this frigging photo? Morgan. Morgan. And you know what? Yeah, yeah. Her party, and she's doing all this work cooking a child. You had said weeks ago, randomly, that you'd said to your wife, can we have a hat party?

Yeah. You'd found some old hats when you were trying to nest and clean out space. You were like, let's have a hat party. Let's sleep up the baby shower. Yes, a bit of fun. And Morgan had shut you down. Me being, you know, your second best mate in your female relationship. Obviously, Morgan's your first.

When? I'm going to bring hats to his party. It was very funny when Shy Guy and Badge rocked up. I made Shy Guy go to Spotlight with the boss's credit card. So good. And he bought eight different funny hats. And all my other mates were like, why are there hats here? Why did Jess and Shy Guy bring hats?

And I'm like, it's meant to be a hat party. Exactly. It's a whole thing. And what I say to you, you know, pass always. It doesn't concern you. This is for the team and I wanted to celebrate for you, my friend. I wore the Viking helmet all day. I know you did. And you know what's so cute? I actually

picked out the Viking helmet for me and I just love that you love that one too. I went, God, look, we're so close. I'm like, I know what he likes because he likes what I like and I was really excited to celebrate in that way. Morgan was so annoying with me with the Viking helmet because she's like, it's in all the photos when we made a speech. It's there when we're cutting the cake.

Like, you have this Viking helmet on for no reason. I didn't know you were wearing yellow. And, like, how much does it go with your outfit? It just works. Because it's, like, gold and everything. I was vibing. So, anyway, I've come down with something after the baby shower. I see that on the Sunday and I went, God, they've done me dirty here.

You do look bad. That is the classic thing. You've got the full mouth open. And this is why I say, is it karma? Because I have always said, when it comes to group pics, posting on my own socials, I only look at myself. I never, it could be your birthday and I will make sure I look fire. And I couldn't even tell you what you look like.

And Morgan hit me with that in return. Yes. And God, it feels awful. It hurts. So I, she said to me, do you want to do a collaboration? She's never once said that to me before. And I said, okay. Yeah.

I was like, we'll do a collaboration as long as I can come up with a caption because you'll just do like a sunflower emoji or something ridiculous. Yep, yep. And she said. Pink heart, pink heart, sunflower emoji. Pink heart, baby on the way or something like that. Yeah, bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then she said okay. And she was really keen to do a collaboration with me, which was odd. Yep. And then she chose all the photos and posted it, and I just approved. I didn't want to go at a 35-week pregnant woman. That's why I wanted to pass the blame to you.

But when I was feeling so... You do look bad. So does Babs, and so does Shy Guy, and so does your husband. Boss Jase looks all right, doesn't he? Even though he's sort of hidden behind the Viking one. Me and Jase look like some couple that's just come off the Mardi Gras. I've got a Viking helmet on and I look like a 70s porn star.

He's got the pink furry leopard print hat. He's got the leopard print hat behind it. Just at my... Feeling like in the pits. And then I've sent you a second photo. Another friend of ours shared a photo from an event we did together. Another. Shocking.

You look like you've been partying all night. I do. I look like I've dropped something. You're busy, man. On the record, I have never in my life. Why are you taking such bad photos? Will you start looking good? Start smiling.

You load bearer. Anyway. Got her, Babs bearer. Anyway. Got her, Babs. I'm mad. Got her. Jess and Ducco. Good morning. Good morning.

It is wonderful, wonderful to be back. Yes. Shia's still sick, but hey, you know, the team's operating higher. Absolutely. And as we've established, Babs is more than a load bearing enough for Mr. Shy Guy. So we are on stable footing. Tell you what, Babs was trying to gun for a car ambassador shit yesterday. She was in your chair for two

seconds and she was trying to get free wheels. Which badge was she after? She seems like a Nissan girl to me. She didn't care. Honestly, I'm not picky. Anything's good. She just said, I'll take a car. If anyone's listening. Does this seat get you a car ambassador? Yeah, it gets a car. She should have had the teeth whitening kit sent in straight away after the show. And those scrunch

bum leggings, which she's wearing to death. Also, my brows look a bit crap at the moment. All right, relax, babe. There's something. Cash for comment. We're not allowed. It takes years to get this stuff. You know what someone said, Nick, in our promotion scene?

We came out yesterday, and he was like, well done, guys. He goes, oh, my God. I was listening, and I was like, it sounds like a dad and daughter show. Okay, there's like four years between them. Oh, it's like a decade. Okay, like a decade between them. It's definitely ten years. But it was like, it's like...

Yeah, but you're an old soul and he's young at half. So, I mean, surely you're... Anything else, I'm load-bearing and old. Yes, you are. What else? And your eyebrows suck. Your words, not mine. And you'll never have a car.

You had a taste of it. You're not getting it now. It's ours. It was like you were taking care of it. You guys were like a dad and daughter duo. And I was like, oh, it's Taco's first time being a dad. I was like, oh, that's funny as. That's so good.

Bring your daughter to work day. I don't know if it felt like that to you, Babs. Not really. Yeah. Just a couple of mates hanging out. Just a couple of bros hanging out. That's right. Shooting the crap. A couple of dudes.

Yeah, a couple of dudes. A couple of cold ones. Jess and Ducco. Been a horrible week for the team, so we thought on 131060, there's a bit going around. How sick did you get? What's the sickiest sick you ever got? That's right. Or where'd you get sick?

Get up, come on, get down with the sickness. Get up, come on, get down with the sickness. sick did you get? What's the sickiest sick you ever got? That's right. Or where'd you get sick? You can tell producer Babs is producing today. That's right. If it was Shy Guy, I haven't prepared this mentally, it would have been maybe an Ariana.

Yeah, Ariana. It would have been maybe a Dua. Maybe Dua has mentioned illness once or twice. But because Babs has got free range, she went disturbed.

She went disturbed, which I can't believe we even have. I know, it's in the system. Also, I love that it says down with the sickness clean. I'd love to hear the unedited. Oh, the dirty version is horrific. Oh, goodness. The reason we're asking, obviously, so my baby shower, the super spreader event. Jess, it wiped you out for four days.

It did. You took out my one-year-old, which. Hey, don't say I took out your one-year-old. Hey, hey, hey. Hang on a minute. Last, not last year, in 2023, I had a baby shower, brother. Oh, that's right. And do you remember, okay, three people got the runs.

No, no, it was like seven. You came on air and said I was the super spreader poo event. It was the spitty bum shower. That took down New South Wales. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how the tables have turned, you grotty boy. I'd rather the flu than Spittybump. Either way, I don't know what's with us and baby showers.

We just can't have any more. No more. No more. We're done. I've already told Babs, you'll never have one. Shy Guy, if you're listening, you'll never have one. No, he's never having one. JDHQ cannot have baby showers.

We can't do things together because we all get sick. So you got so sick, you got obviously like really bad flu, you'll run down. Yes, run down, which I thought you got obviously like really bad flu, you were run down. Yes, run down, which I thought I was just, yes, as you said, run down. No, I never got tested for actually what it was, but wow, it wiped me out. It takes a lot to take us away from this program. You had to hemorrhage your vocal cords to take time off last year. Like it's a big deal to take time off.

But no, I was wiped out. As I said, my 16-month-old, she was wiped out. Shy Guy then got wiped out. He's the most sick he's ever been. Shy Guy has now, he's just morphed into something else, hasn't he? Like, we sound like we've had different things. The scabies is getting a hold of the sickness. So it says it all blends in.

It's like a layer cake. You know, we have the same base layer, but he's topping with scabies. And it's now made him. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to top anything with scabies. No, you don't. But my friend, how's this? So I had one friend who also got sick post baby shower after this.

So I know there's something going around. I know lots of people off work and school and stuff like that right now. But I had a friend who couldn't even make it to the shower because he was so sick. So you remember I told you at the start of this year, my friend, he got shingles in the eye from his child who got sick. He got stressed about the sickness. His child got so sick, as you know, stressful. He then got shingles from stress, which manifested in his eye. He nearly went blind.

Unbelievable. He had to take all this different medication, but he's an idiot, and he was taking the medication without water, like when you swallow a pill or whatever, without water. So he's just shotting it back like a pelican. He's a weird, he's always done that. But because he did that and he had to take so many, you know, various pills or whatever, he then got a stomach ulcer.

Oh, my God. I didn't know that was a thing that would happen if you dry shot medication, but it makes freaking sense, doesn't it? Yeah, he must have had food with the neurofenol, that sort of gear. He got stomach ulcers, so he was coughing up blood a couple of days before the baby shower. Couldn't even come to the shower because he was in hospital with stomach ulcers. So his kid that was ill originally in this equation, how's the kid?

Fine. He has now been sick for months. He's had shingles and stomach ulcers and the kid's been living their best life. Oh my God. Yes. Poor guy. Horrible year to start. Yeah, horrible year to start.

Jesus. So that's sick. That is start. Horrible year to start. Jesus. So that's sick. That is sick. He's not doing a radio show. No, absolutely not. That's for sure. He hasn't been going to work. Wow.

So we thought, yeah, 13, 10, 60. How sick did you get? How sick? What's the sickest sickness you've ever... Sicked. Sicked. Yeah, yeah. And where was it? Where'd you get the sickness?

Where'd you pick it up? Yes, can you pin it to a baby shower? I would love to. Were you near my baby shower and somehow got sick? How else can we make Ducko feel bad about this super spread? But yes, where was it? Who are we blaming? What's the sickest sick you've ever felt?

Let's make Shy Guy feel a bit better. You know, he's in sick company. Yeah, he's by himself. I'm on the other side of it now. He's just by himself with those tissues next to his bed. That's right. Poor guy. Which are for his nose. Obviously. Dueling side of it now. He's just by himself with those tissues next to his bed. That's right. Poor guy. Which are for his nose.

Obviously. Dueling tickets up for grabs. We'll get you on next. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 60. We're asking how sick you get. That's right. Or can you blame something on Ducco's baby shower?

Can you pinpoint it back to my baby shower? He wiped me out. He took out my 16-month-old. Took out one of some other mates. One of your mates knew that it was going to be a super spreader event, got sick beforehand. Didn't even come. I'm blaming that for Wally too.

Meanwhile, I was on the source till 2 a.m. and didn't get sick. So, you know, life works in mysterious ways. That's where I look at your diet and I go, he's immune system, man. All that chicken and the vegetables. It's really served you well. Eat a carrot, kids. Eat a carrot. Someone texted in, I got a high fever once and a sore head whilst my wife was in labour.

She said it was the man flu. I swear it was worse. The partners who come down with things in the delivery suite, don't be one of those. You know, my mum, when my sister was delivering her baby, my mum fainted. And so then she had to get medical attention.

Was your mum the support person for Abby? She wasn't in the, maybe she was in the room, but her husband was there. I don't know how they got in the room as well, but mum fainted and they had to take her out and stuff. You know I love your mum. Oh, drama. But she is an attention stealer.

Drama, you know. Alicia on 131060. Good morning, Kate. Love you. Alicia, how sick did you get? Good morning, guys. We were on a family holiday in San Francisco with our 10-month-old baby. It was the last day of our trip. We'd done some museums and stuff. And I was like, I'm not feeling really well. I'm just going to go outside. We're on the bus back into the city. And I said to my sister, and I was like, when does our stop? I need to get off the bus. She's like, oh, it's just up here. I was like, okay, I can do it. I'm like, I can feel the vomit just coming up my throat. And I just said,

I need to get off this bus now. I don't know whether the driver heard me or whether it was our stop, but the doors magically opened and I'm just vomiting in the gutter. All I can think is people are going to think I'm the worst mother because I've got my 10 month old baby with me. They're going to be like, look at this hungover chick. Yeah, yeah. In the gutter vomiting. I'm a carrier. I'm just vomiting over the baby's head.

I'm trying to find a bin. I'm like, a bin's better than a gutter, but they're all covered so people don't put things that they shouldn't put in them. And I was just like, oh my God. When you get the drop during your sweating and you know it's coming. And you know your mouth starts filling with saliva. So bad. It's the worst, Alicia.

And on holiday, you've got to think, I've got a 24-hour plane journey tomorrow. Thank you. That's awful. We go to Phil on 131060. Phil, how sick did you get? Morning, guys. How are we? Good.

Yeah, pretty good. Phil? I went to a Mace House for a barbecue and drinks, and then at the end of the night, I come home. I woke up feeling dizzy, banging into the walls and all that sort of stuff, and then I ended up finding out it was vertigo, and I had to have six weeks off work. I had to wait for the body to go back to normal.

Wow. Now, Phil, I know you don't catch vertigo from a barbecue, but did you blame your mate? Like, we're blaming Ducko's baby shower because it's a real get-out-of-jail-free card to make him feel bad. A hundred percent I did. This is your fault. What was in those snags, man?

Snags, Danny Vertigo. They weren't cooked. Oh, thanks, Phil. We go to Lauren. Lauren, how sick did you get? I went to Vegas a few years ago. And what happens in Vegas kind of stays in Vegas. We then hired a car and travelled around California set to go to Disneyland.

And I was feeling quite sick in the car. And my husband was like, you know, you've just got COVID. Get over it. You'll be fine. Thanks, honey. Thanks for the sympathy. You'll be fine. He's going through, you know, all these beautiful hikes while I'm curled up in the fetal position in the car because i can't move get to california and realize we're cancelling disneyland we're getting on a flight we're going

home i guess let's just go to the hospital it turns out i had pneumonia and i wasn't just faking it with covid and ended up yeah in hospital hooked up to ivs and drips and the whole kit and caboodle. You poor thing. You must, if that was me, I would lord that over Angus for the rest of my days. Lauren, you must get just a tickle in the throat and go, all right, break out the pamper kit because mum is not feeling well again. Yeah, certainly, certainly do. Oh, my God.

And Catherine, lastly, on 131060. Catherine, how sick did you get? Hi. Yeah, I got pretty sick. Quite life-threatening in the end. So my son came home from school. And anyway, I thought, oh, he's just got gastro. So I tried to, you know, isolate away from him at home.

I ended up catching it about 24 hours later, and I got violently, violently ill. I could not stop being sick. And so I took myself to the hospital. And anyway, it turned out that I'd had the infection from the gastro that bad, that it had caused a massive abscess on my bowel. And it had perforated my bowel and turned me septic. Oh, my God, Catherine.

So I was sitting in the emergency department at John Hunter Hospital and I was starting to lose my vision and I just still couldn't stop vomiting and um they put me in um took some tests and um yeah I had this huge abscess and it turned me septic and my appendix gangrene um and three days brought home from school yeah yeah and three days later, I had major surgery, and they had to remove 50% of my bowel. Oh. And, yeah, I had about a four- to six-month recovery process. Jeez. Because I had major bowel surgery, but it started off as gastro from my son. And I bet your son was fine in two days.

Yeah. Oh, he went back to school, like, two days later, the day that I actually took myself to hospital. Yeah. My son went back to school like two days later. Wow. The day that I actually took myself to hospital. Yeah. My son went back to school because he was feeling fine. Oh, man. And I've never, ever felt like that before. Like I woke up when I was in the hospital.

They went and sent me for tests and I just needed to sleep. Like I had no sleep and I woke up and there was about eight doctors at the end of my bed and they said like she had a came in 24 hours later, she would have been dead. Oh, Jesus. Just from a stomach bug from a son from school. Isn't it wild just how it starts with one person in one way, but then if you get it, God knows where it could go. It's the kids though, man.

The kids get you. The kids get you. Kath, it's true what they say. Once they start daycare or school or whatever, they're coming home every week. How does anyone go about their day ever? I know. With all these going around.

I know. Katharine, thank you for sharing. That's wild. That's wild. Maybe Katharine was at my baby shower too. Yeah, that's where she got. Maybe. That was the OG.

Let's blame Ducko's baby shower again. Thank you. Jess and Ducko. Sweet Babs is in studio Hello Babs Hello She is quiz master She's going to give us a word Any little word

Yep And Ducko and I are going to try and sing a song That has that word in it Usually we go up against Shy Guy But as we've established We think he's sort of been thrown in the towel every week. Yeah. But it's fun having him here

because then at least he sucks. I know. Because either Jess runs away with it and it's too good, and we can count on Shy Guy, or I'm coming second, or I'm getting close with Jess and just winning. You know what I mean? And it's also fun, yeah, just to bag him out.

It is. That's fine. I mean, he's not here, so. Yeah, might as well. We've got no issue talking about people behind their back. It's fine. Hello, Shaga. Statistically, so Ducko won last week and then Jess won the week before and then the

week before that. So if it's going, you know, maybe Ducko should win this one again. Oh, two and two. You have a pattern, don't you? I do. I like a pattern. You like it? Yeah.

It's like how you like your picnic rug pattern clothes. Gingham. Gingham. I was going to say Gorman. You really? Now, Gorman's made? She's Gingham. I'm Gingham. You like Gingham. She even got one of her clothes. Gingham. Gingham. I was going to say Gorman. Gorman's me. She's Gingham. I'm Gingham. You like Gingham.

She even got one of her nails painted Gingham. Well, that's... I noticed. And aren't they awful? They're really bad. That's the first thing I noticed. I went, what's happening? She did say to me, my nails are so bad.

And I was like, what? No, they're great. No. There was a lot on at the nail salon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's to talk about later. Tell me you're on the radio now. Anyway.

Let's get first word, shall we? Oh, God. Your first word is age. Age. Age. Age. I'm feeling 22. Everything will be all right.

Did she say age? Age. Oh, no. Rage. The age. This is the age of. This is the age. I'm thinking of edge, not age.

What's my age again? Blink 182. What's my age again? Damn it. You know what, Ducko? It's not very niche. You've got to play the player. I know.

You've got to think about what I choose. I know. That's the edge. Good call. And that's usually what my practice is. I go, right, Badz is listening to her emo rock. I mean, I haven't gone through my

playlist lately. I don't know all of Powderfinger's back catalogue. I'm sorry. She might roll her eyes if we didn't get the boink song. Alright, that was a warm up. Next word is feet. Feet. Oh, no. Oh!

I don't feel like dancing in the middle of the winter. Feet. My feet can't touch the ground. What is that song? What? I don't know. My feet. My feet are on fire. Dancing. Dancing feet.

Dancing. Blue Suede Shoes. Is that a bit about Blue Suede Shoes? Oh, this is bad. What was bad? You could have had Move Your Feet by Junior Senior. You know, that song that's like, Everybody. Oh.

Move your feet and feel united. Yeah, or Fall at Your Feet by Crowded House. Really close to home. Yeah, that one. You got a temperature. Damn it. Are you feeling okay? We should have got that.

Oh, man, that was bad. That was bad. Okay, next one. Are you being nice to me? This is the worst round of wordy I could have ever had. You know how I just said play the player? Yeah. What I say to Babs is play the players.

Sorry, I'm just, guys, I'm trying to make it like, anyway, whatever. Yeah, of course. That's a good word. I can't lie, but no one gets it. It's sort of interesting. It is interesting. All right. Fire.

This girl is on fire. This girl is on fire. Of course that happens. Of course that happens. What did you say? Sex on fire. Sex on fire. Great song.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give you a point each just to kick this round off. Yeah. Okay. So now use the tie and let's go. Okay. All right. Next word is party.

Party. Party rockers in the house tonight's go. Okay. All right. Next word is party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party.

Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party. Party of mine. Yes, yes. Oh, sweet child of mine. It's what my mum and brother danced to at his wedding. Really? Yep. That is bizarre. My mum wanted an eight-song medley, Ducko. Of course she did. And my brother went, you can pick one. And it was that.

Everyone's like, this is a strange song. Okay, so are we doing this? All right, yep. So this is tied now. We've gotten to this point. Okay. Whoever gets this one wins. I hope it is a strange song. Okay, so we'll be doing this. All right, yep. So this is tied now. We've gotten to this point. Okay. Whoever gets this one wins. I hope it's a close one.

Come on, man, I've been sick. That was my baby shout. All right, you ready? Yep. The word is young. Forever young. Oh, my God. I'll be forever young.

Oh, we go again. We go again. Yeah, we go again. Okay. It's either zero or 100 with us. Yeah, I know. It seems to be forever young. Oh, we go again. We go again. Yeah, we go again. Okay. It's either 0 or 100 with us. Yeah, I know. It seems to be that way. God, I'm nervous.

Let me catch my breath. Okay. Last word. You ready? Yes. Closing. Closing time. We go again.

We go again. I'm running out of words. Oh, come on. There's many in the English dictionary. Far out. Last word is hanging. Hanging. Hanging by a moment.

Hanging. Hanging on by a thread. Hanging with you. I'm hanging. How's that? I'm hanging on a... Hanging by a moment. Is it hanging by a moment?

Yes. I don't know how it goes. Yeah, neither do I. I am hanging by a moment? Yes. I don't know how it goes. Yeah, neither do I. I am hanging by a moment with you. Hang. I don't know. Oh, no. No.

Ceasar, I'm okay, Babs. All right, I'm going to think of a word on the fly. Are you ready? Yep. The word is hand. Hand. Oh, oh. Me in your hands now.

Yes. I'm not here And I'm not a fan Did you just win with a pinch, Tom? Oh my god Thank god for that Wow Well done

We couldn't get feet But he got hands Jess and Ducko Been an interesting week here For Jess and Ducko HQ Because Jess has been sick You've been sick all week Now Shago we know is away.

But you were very sick yourself, I think, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. But you probably could have come back yesterday in terms of your own sickness. However, Lucia got sick. That's right. And I almost wanted to do this not to make it bigger than me or bigger than necessary and scare anyone, but I have spoken to a number of friends who don't have children, but more so a number of friends who do have kids, and none of them have experienced what I experienced over the past couple of days.

And for something that I was told by a doctor is very common, in fact affects one in 30 young children, I can't fathom that no one I know has been through this, which makes me feel really alone. And I'm worried if anyone else experiences it or has experienced it, they might feel similar. And I just wanted to articulate what we went through to really drive that home that it is normal and the scariest moment of my life may, you may have experienced it as well.

Yeah, it's common. It's common. It's common. So, yes, as you said, I started coming down with something over the weekend and I can't even use the phrase, I gave Lucia it. I passed it on because the guilt I'm feeling, Ducko, is out of this world. I've never experienced mum guilt like I am experiencing. I've never experienced guilt full stop like I am experiencing thinking I made my little girl ill. But the reality is I was feeling not well.

And then a couple of days later, Lucia was presenting signs of a fever and a bit of a runny nose. And look, we have been so blessed with her health and wellness the past 16 months. You know, we've touched wood. We've, you know, I had one hospital visit when we were overseas and she'd had, you know, a tummy bug for 72 hours, but that was nothing compared to what happened. She wakes up at 2am and presents with a fever. Well, she was hot to touch, but when we put the thermometer under her arm, she was registering at like 36, like very normal.

We're going, okay, she's obviously got something. She was so clingy for a little girl who was very independent, very active, usually very happy and playful. She did not want to be put down. She did not want to touch the ground. She wasn't interested really in eating or drinking or, God forbid, playing. She just wanted to be held all day. So we're oscillating between Panadol and Nurofen, as was the advice we were given.

And around 3.30, thankfully, Angus came home and he went, you know, I want to look after my girls, want to be with Lucia. So he comes home, Ducko, and we give her another dose of Panadol. And she's just lying on his chest on the couch. And he actually said to me, do you want to go get some fresh air? Do you want to go take the dog for a walk? And thinking about if I wasn't home when the next five minutes happened terrifies me, but I literally was putting the harness on Gianni

and I just heard Angus go, Lucia, Lucia. And I've run over to the living room and she was having a seizure. I've since learned it's called a febrile seizure. And it is very common. How the body's coping. Yeah, for a small child whose body can't cope with the rapid spike in temperature rise. So it's almost like from the doctor's explanation and all my Googling scenes, her brain basically shut down.

Neurons are overfiring. So her brain shuts down. And she was, I can't stop seeing it in my mind's eye. It's not even like when I close my eyes. I'm looking at you, but I can see her. Her tiny little body in Angus's arms, twitching and convulsing. The eyes rolled back up. Honestly, honestly. Slight foaming at the mouth. Shaking. And so there was the foaming at the mouth as well.

And you know Angus. He is cool, calm and collected. And the panic in his voice was unlike anything. My heart stopped. My soul left my body. Because at that moment, you've got a worst case, right? You don't know what's happening. Absolutely.

I run for my phone and I dialed triple zero. And I was screaming at Angus, is she breathing? As the operator answered the phone. Did he like put her down on her back? Yeah. So we can never, and I'm sorry, I'm never bringing a story about Angus ever again. Give him a couple of weeks. Because he was incredible, Daco.

He put her immediately in the recovery position. I know he's done multiple first aid courses in his time. He's a publican, but he also did the first aid course with me. I forgot everything. I was just out of my mind. But he kicked into gear. He's telling me to take a breath so I can explain to the operator what's happening. Yeah.

But she asked the question, is she conscious? And he said, she's not breathing. And I said to this woman, I'm screaming at this woman, she's not breathing. And then she whimpered. So she came to, I don't know how long, it was probably only seconds. But she whimpered and the operator could hear that. At this point, Angus had taken the phone from me

because I couldn't even help. I couldn't even speak. And I hate that I put that on him to deal with everything. Well, he's got our little girl. But she said, and I know our ambulance service is way overworked and understaffed and they said it would be two hours. And obviously they dropped her down in importance because she was, she'd come to.

And I said, hang up, let's go to the hospital. We are very lucky we have an emergency response centre very near our house, so we didn't even have to go to the hospital. We zoomed there. It's not far, yeah. Took her there right away, jumped in the car. A gamut of tests were done on her blood pressure, the temperature, pinprick of glucose. I don't even know what they did, to be honest. She settled down and we were taught about febrile seizures, that that is a normal response for the body.

And that, yeah, one in 30 children could experience that. And that number is so high. Ridiculous. And I'm messaging friends the next day once things had calmed down. And, you know, some of my friends have young children, and I felt like I was fear-mongering, but I'm going, did you know about this, Amanda? Like, you've got an eight-month-old.

Like, Katie, did you know about this? You've got a one-year-old. Because you associate seizures with very traumatic heads, something going really, really wrong. Like, is this them for life? How much is this going to affect them? Losing oxygen to the brain. And the doctor was very, very calm and very adamant.

This does not mean she will have one again, but the likelihood may be that she's presented this as a symptom once it could. If she gets a fever again or just in general? Potentially if she gets a fever again or just in general? Potentially if she gets a fever again. He was very reassuring that the likelihood of it happening again with this illness, like this time, would be slim. But, you know, nothing is zero. So my friend's kid got a seizure.

The exact same situation. It stressed him out so much. The body's response to it. And it's fine now. It stressed him out so much, that's when he got the shingles. Yes, that was that incident. So I can't imagine. My thing is, and everyone in my life, you know,

you can imagine when I told my mum, when we told our viewers, when I told my brother, when I've told friends, I can't help blame myself. And I know everyone says you couldn't have done anything different. No, and you can't blame yourself. I can't help but think I gave her this. But more than that, I didn't get her temperature down during the day. And if I'd been able to get maybe a bit more food into her or got a bit more water into her or, you know, even the doctor was saying, which I didn't know, they don't recommend cool baths or even the tepid wash.

They don't recommend a physical cooling down anymore. But if I had tried one of those things and got her temperature down before 4 o'clock. It might have done nothing, though. You know, you can't beat yourself up. You were just trying to survive because you were also sick and she was sick. You can't blame yourself. I just can't. I can't stop seeing her little body.

Yeah, of course. And just to think, what could I have done? What should I have done? And I know every parent would probably have experienced an incident like that where they go, what could I have done differently? What, what should have I avoided or implemented? So the worst thing didn't happen. And as I said, it was only probably 20 seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

Oh, that it did. Yeah, that image. And I. Did it shift perspective for you? Oh. Yeah. Truly, Ducker. This sounds stupid, but I know I love her.

I knew I loved her. Yeah. And that she was the most important person to both Angus and I. But Christ, in that moment, you just think, who cares about anything else? I said to Angus, no offense. I said, I'm quitting my job. I actually said to him, we're never having another child. How can you do this with another kid?

And all my focus should be on her. And it was just so horrible. Oh, I bet. I can't imagine it because I don't have a child yet. And I can't imagine the love you share when you feel responsible, which is absolutely not your fault. And this is just part of, I think, and this is going to be part of your growing, I guess, as a parent, as a mom.

And all I could keep thinking as well is, what if Angus wasn't home or what if I was a single parent? What if you're by yourself? How do people do it when they're on their own? Yeah, yeah, totally. What if it was something much more severe? Parents are dealing with sick children every single day and really severely ill. How does the brain, the heart, the body, the soul, how does it cope? I don't know and I don't understand and I'm so grateful everything was fine.

And they're incredibly resilient, right? You said that night she was back up and she was fine. You were one of the first calls I made just to explain what was going on. Well, you never call. So when you called, I was like, what's happening here? I know. And you were hysterical. To be honest, I wrote it to you what was going on. Well, you never called. So when you called, I was like, what's happening here? I know. And you were hysterical. And I was like, what is going on?

To be honest, I wrote it to you. And I couldn't finish the word seizure. I think it was like S-E-I. And I went, that is a horrific, horrific word. Yeah. Oh, my God. She's all good. She's all good.

And as you said, she bounced back. Her fever broke that night. She slept in our bed with us. Angus was on the floor. He slept on the floor for the past three nights. But she was in our bed and she woke up at midnight and she's trying to learn how to jump. Like she's trying to teach.

I don't know where she's got it from. She's trying to practice jumping, but her feet don't actually leave the ground. So it's just her little knees bending and then locking and just this attempt at being airborne. And she was doing that all over the bed and so joyful and giggling and throwing ourselves at the headboard and the pillows and having a whale of a time. She's incredible.

And they are incredibly resilient. They're resilient. We could take a leaf out of their book because I feel like a shell of myself. But you're here today doing the show and you sound good. You're energetic. You're positive. That's resilience in its own right.

And I know we have a responsibility to bring joy and this is my most joyful space here. So I wanted to come back, but I also just wanted to take a minute and acknowledge that. My God, this thing's hard, man. It's so hard. Yeah, yeah, I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For all the- You're making me real scared.

Honestly, the jumping at midnight almost made me forget because it was so happy and so joyful. Well, I'm glad she's okay. I'm glad you guys are okay. And she is okay. And everything else. We're so lucky. That's a priority. Yes, yeah, but I can't recommend the first aid course.

Please do one. I'm going to do another one. I need to do a refresher because in that moment I was just a shell of myself. If I'd been on my own, I'm sure I would have kicked into gear. But please do first aid courses. Please read up. Please learn everything you can. Absolutely.

And seek professional advice when you need to. Yeah. I'm glad you're here. Well said. And it's not your fault. Thank you. I'm going to need you to tell me that a lot more times. It's my baby shower's fault.

It was a patient's error. That's all right. I'm going to need you to tell me that a lot more times. It's my baby shower's fault. It was a patient's error. I didn't want to bring that up again. It's Jess and Ducko with you here, Brex. We've got Alphabox next. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabox on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back, of course, if there is time. They're the rules. We're playing for $10,000. So we go to Craig today. Hello, Craig.

Hey, how you doing? Craig, wonderful to be here. Wonderful to have the opportunity to give you 10 grand. Thank you very much. What would you like to do with the money? I'd like to fly my mum over from the UK. She needs a holiday. Okay.

I love that. How long since you've seen Mama Bear? Christmas before last. Oh, it's been too long. Too long. We need to get her over here. What's your mum's name, Craig? Julia.

Julia. Are you flying her economy or are you going to upgrade her? I'd like to upgrade. She's a bit too old for economy. Okay. All right. Julia needs a flat lay bed, doesn't she? Oh, yeah.

Julia needs business. And some warm olives. Yes, and some champagne. Craig, well, this is a wonderful omen for you and for Julia because your letter's C. C for Craig. C for Craig. Okay. That's Craig. Okay.

Does that feel good? Do you feel confident? I wouldn't say confident but hopefully the first question will be in the boy's name. I'm sorry. I'm going to bury the lead. It's not. So get that out of your head. I don't want you locked on Craig. And then I ask it and you go Craig.

He says Chris anyway. Craigo, are you ready? I'm ready. Let's do it for your mum. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C, we need you to name something you use to draw. Crayon. A vegetable.

Carrot. An ocean animal. Catfish. An adverb. Past. A adverb. Past. A beer brand. Carlton. A Disney character.

Past. An Asian country. Asian country. China. A kitchen item. Cut the draw. A kitchen item. Cup withdrawal. A spice. Wow, just full of buzzer.

To get yourself six. Six are the best, Craig. Six good ones. Came out of the gates very strong. An adverb, always tough. We're looking for chaotically or comfortably. Anything with the L-Y. Yeah, that's adverb.

A Disney character could have been Cinderella is what we're after there. Or Captain Hook if you're into Hook. Kids are going to kill me. It's hard in the heat of the moment. Look, you don't go away empty handed. We're going to give you $100 worth of fuel. It's not going to get your mum here, but it'll get you to drop the kids somewhere.

Get part of the way. Very small part of the way. That's yours the way. Very small part of the way. Okay. That's yours, Craig. Well done. Thank you very much. Thank you, Craig. All right.

See you guys. Goodbye. Jess and Ducko. Now, we were going to do something different here, but if you missed it before Alphabucks at 8, Jess, you were telling us a story about your last couple of days, which have not been ideal. No, I came down with something over the weekend and, look,

to put it bluntly, I think I pass it on to my 16-month-old, who obviously doesn't have the immune system like I do. She's up to date with all her shots and everything, but the way this bug took hold of Lucia presented as a fever, all you can do for a little one, you know, the advice we were given is Panadol, Nurofen at the according times and the correct times, try and keep fluids up. Lots of cuddles, lots of hugs. She didn't want to be put down. She just basically slept on and

off me all day. Angus come home at about 3.30, gave her another dose of Panadol thinking she'll just have a nice lie on daddy's chest. And she had a febrile seizure, which is, I'm so sure I learned about it when we did our prenatal first aid course. Oh, right. But you didn't take it in. Because you think that'll never happen. To be honest, I think I thought seizures were epilepsy. And I just thought that is something your child is diagnosed with and you know, and

which would not make it any easier. Don't, don't, Don't get me wrong. But she would have already had it if she was going to. Yeah, I just – and they made us watch. I remember this, Darko. We did the first aid course at the hospital. Yeah. And the nurse running it.

It was an intimate class. I think there was six people in it. I would have been eight months pregnant. Like it was obviously a vulnerable and emotional time. She said, I'm going to show you a video of a child seizing. I remember this. And you watched it? And we watched it and it was so distressing.

But if I'm honest, the level of disconnect because I'm watching a video. It's not yours. And it was grainy footage. I remember thinking, how old is this video? It almost looked like it was taken on a camcorder. So I remember having a level of disconnect going, well, that would be terrifying. And even though we did the first aid course, I feel like I'm going to have to do a refresher course.

Certainly now, maybe every couple of months might be being dramatic. But in the moment that Lucia was seizing in Angus's arms, I lost my mind. I completely forgot what to do. The image of her is burnt in there, which it probably will be forever. Every time I blink, I'm seeing her little body in Angus's arms. And again, if he wasn't there, maybe the mummy instincts would have kicked in. I'd like to think they would, but I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't there. He's my rock.

He's amazing and he deserves every accolade. And you both did a great job. But I think the big thing from this is the febrile seizure is so common. Yeah, one in 30. And I was messaging friends and sort of being like, has this happened to you? Do you even know this is a thing? Like you've got a little one too. And so many of my friends were saying, why don't we talk about this every day?

Because maybe if it had been a bit more top of mind. And we've just been in on, jaded with text messages as I'm getting some DMs and texts to my phone as well, and I just want to say thank you because... Yeah. A lot of people... This has happened to a lot of people.

Yeah, saying thank you, obviously, for sharing, but saying it happened to them or their grandkid or their nephew or whoever it may be when they were up to the age of three or four, happening on the side of a road, like... Yes, in a Bunnings car park, Amanda says, we were just getting a sausage sizzle and my daughter just started acting odd.

We should get her to the hospital. And she's had a seizure on the way. She starts frothing at the mouth. I just, oh my God. It's crazy how common it actually is. How common it is. Thank you for sharing, Amanda. Lara saying, I had to do this with my daughter.

Don't ever underestimate your response as a mother. Thank you for sharing, Amanda. Lara saying, I had to do this with my daughter. Don't ever underestimate your response as a mother. Thank you so much. And you can't blame yourself for anything that's happened prior or anything that you could have done. Yeah, which just feels... It's almost like I want someone to blame and I will be blaming myself forever because I can't. They're yours.

It's your little responsibility. It's your thing and you watch that happening, of course. Absolutely. Absolutely. Patricia has messaged saying, yes, go do the first aid course again. Do it if you haven't done it. I'm definitely going to do it because we haven't done ours yet. And obviously due in a couple of weeks.

So yeah, definitely going to do it. It's like opened my eyes. And the doctor, and the doctor was just so wonderful. The specialist pediatrician we saw saying this doesn't mean, doesn't mean she'll necessarily have one again. It doesn't mean she'll develop epilepsy. You know, everything in medicine just feels like if it happened once, it can happen again. It's all a gray area.

Exactly. It just feels so dire. I'm sure we'll all be fine and she's fine now. But we want to reiterate that, yeah, this is very common. So if you've gone through or know somebody who has, or even if you have a child and you have it, like this could happen to you. Yeah. I was messaging my friend Mandy and she was was saying talk about it because she's experienced something different in her life

but she goes this is it's so traumatic and you know the ptsd response of not being able to see that you know not being able to forget it in your mind's eye and just shrouding it in taboo because you feel like you're to blame is isn't healthy for anyone yeah, of course. Yeah. Thank you to all the love and support. Yeah, we want to come on and say thanks to everyone for that. Appreciate it. It was well, you know, it was good. It was eye-opening. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. But up next, we'll flip the gears for you. Please. I need, it's funny, I really wanted to come here today because this is such a joyful place. Hey, we've been having fun. We've been having a lot of fun. That's right.

Yeah. This time yesterday was the Babs and Ducko show. That's right. Babs was trying to get free car ambassadorships. But I'm actually going to tell you what people are saying commonly about my moustache. Please do. I'm getting two things people are saying. They don't go hand in hand. It's weird the things they're saying.

Jess and Ducko. So yes, obviously I've got the moustache now and my wife hates it. I know you hate it too. My two wives hate it. The two wives hate it. Hey, you had your Queensland wife come down for the baby shower. Yes. Nice to see Anna after all these months.

Yes. What did she make of it? She likes it. Oh, no. So it's funny. So a lot of people, like girls, like there's Anna, there's Hannah, they're like, I really, I like it because it kind of makes you look, Anna's like, makes you look more gruff or it makes you look a bit more like a bit older,

not so much more mature, but I had a clean shaven sort of I look younger or whatever. And I guess Anna, this friend from Queensland at the baby shower, she probably didn't have the full experience because you were wearing a Viking helmet for most of the party. A Viking helmet with a moustache and a yellow knit. Because Shy Guy Babs and I wanted to give you the hat party of your dreams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we bought you a Viking

helmet. Yeah. God, I loved it. Which kind of really went with the moustache. It added to it, didn't it? I was just feeling myself. Morgan's like, can you take that helmet off? I was like, you don't control me. It's in all the photos. It's in everything. It's ruined all our baby shower photos. So thanks a lot, guys. Shy Guy's in like a steampunk gold. I don't even

know. He was feeling himself He was loving life Baz is wearing a T-Rex head Shaga had four Coca-Colas Full sugar That's probably why he's sick today That's why he's not here The big guy now

He overdosed on Coca-Cola His immune system is like We never have this much liquid Full sugar And sugar My goodness So anyway I'm getting a lot of people say

A lot of guys like it Which is standard You guys know It's getting pretty anyway, I'm getting a lot of people say, a lot of guys like it, which is standard. You guys know I'm having, it's getting pretty thick now. I'm starting to lick it. It's coming into my mouth. Yes. It's starting to get to that point where it is starting to get annoying. Yeah. Morgan said to me yesterday.

Because it was always handlebar-y. Yes, it's getting more. And that was something we always flagged. But your concern was, if you bring it above the crevice of your lip, it's giving Frenchmen. It's too short. And even though you are French heritage, it looks like you should be smoking a thin cigarette and wearing a striped t-shirt and a beret. It doesn't look great.

It doesn't quite go with who the duck man is at his core. And then Morgan said, are you going to keep that on for the birth of our daughter? And I was like, ooh, didn't think about that. First impressions count and you do not get a second chance. The baby photos, I'll have this forever. I was like, I don't know, maybe. But every time a rice cooker messages me saying, please shave it. Oh, that's good.

I'll shave it. You're adding a week onto my growth time. So every negative comment I get, I want to grow up more. Every video I share of you, of us, not just of you. That'd be weird if I was filming you in the studio. Nine times out of ten, no one's responding to the content, which is hilarious. They're going, oh, ducko. Shave it.

Oh, shave that. Shave that, Mo. You know what's funny? The people who are liking it, the two things they're saying to me, and they're saying it in the same sentence. So they're saying, you look like an 80s porn star. Yeah. And then they're going, I really like it.

Okay. So I'm like, I don't know if that's good or bad. Are they majority men or women? Both. A bit of both. The women are saying the 80s porn star things. That's strangers who are into that genre. I can't elogiate.

I'm like, okay, so I'm 80s porn star fighting? We're enjoying that? Is it giving pizza boy knocks on door opens to sexy lady who's been stupid? You've got to pay your bill, ma'am. Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Why are you like a little greasy, nerdy pizza boy? I'm out of sex. Why do I do that? Why do I? I mean, hey, baby. You know what? Go and check under my wheel. No, no.

You've locked in now as the greasy boy from The Simpsons with the oily face, with the acne. I'm out of the stash, ma'am. Not the creepy old man. They're my voices that I do, okay? They're my set voices. What about, what about, I lost in the rita, and you like my moustache? Yeah, but I can't get it.

You know how our boss, you've opened. You've opened. Do not put me in. I'm not the person answering the door. You want to hang off my handlebar? You want to swing? You know how our boss is always on us. All right, you said this one thing.

What are we doing on that tomorrow? I extend, extend. You know you've got to start in an 80s porn remake now. We're going to need a camera crew. Jess and Daco. I'm a wuss, I'm a chick, and confrontation makes me sick. And I'm a pansy, I'm a wimp

Uncle Conflict makes me limp So if this applies to you We ask you to send through a message To join our chicken club today We needed a safe space for anti-confrontationists, wimps. Yeah, the chickens. The chickens of the world who hate confrontation so much they will put up with anything, they will pay extra,

they will go above and beyond to avoid an awkward conversation. Yeah. Last week was unprecedented. We had our first rejection. Yeah, I put it forward. Sweet ducko. I came in saying I was a chicken, but it worked, and I enjoyed being a chicken.

You're like, no, you're not a chicken. You're out of the club. So I lost my T-shirt and my coupons. You enjoyed the fruits of your chickeniness. Yeah. Too much. Yeah. You, for however long I've known you, have said,

I hate truffle, I hate truffle. We're too chicken to say anything to your waiter before they add a chicken to a meal. Yeah, truffle to the meal, yeah. Not chicken, truffle, exactly. You would love it if they added chicken. Yes. But unfortunately, no, the rice cook has spoken, said, nah, Ducco

enjoyed it, which means he's not in Chicken Club. Come back to us. The entries are always open. Oh, yeah, I'll try and come around again. Please do. I was just trying to be a part of something. Yeah, nah, you're forever banished to just reading them out. You can always text in 0488881069 or slide into the DMs, of course. But we have another self-nomination from someone in the team.

Sweet Babs. Now, before you bring us your story, I think I would describe you as a chicken. In terms of, you are anti-confrontation. Yeah, I think so. She's a chicken. We've had goes at Babs before because she can't even, like, talk bad about someone without getting a bit flustered and, like, jumping around the story a bit. She won't, like, yeah.

She won't fully commit. Like, she hates, she has an awkward combo. Yeah, because I don't want to get in trouble for being mean. Yeah, there you go, chicken. So what's happened in your life that you go, maybe I do need the jacket? Well, I went and got my nails done the other day for the first time in ages because I thought I would treat myself.

And I quote, as I came in today, Jess said that they look like St. Patrick's Day. What, it wasn't? Yeah, I said it's giving St. Paddy's Day. They are so... She's got one gingham, one of it's giving St. Paddy's Day. They are so... She's got one gingham, one, and then the others are a bit out there. They're so obnoxious. Yeah, Colin's so obnoxious that I...

She has breakfast ready for one day, and she's like, wow. No, there's some context for what happened. I like to have a fun design on my nails, okay? Yeah, yeah. So, like, I went... She's such a fun person. Yeah, well, stop. I'm sorry, now.

Can you let me... She's so out there, Ducker, well, stop. I'm sorry, Nat. Can you let me... She's so out there, Ducca. This is my old co-host, Babs. Sorry. Go, Babs, you go. This is the repartee. If you're going to be in the big chair, you've got to learn how to take it and dish it out.

Yeah, okay. So, I asked for green nails, but the green that I picked out on the sheet was, like, a nice deep green, okay? I was about to say, Babs, you don't ask for things that they sell on. So, okay, you never had a manicure, but they give you literally a thousand tiny little plastic nails on a hoop. Oh, like options.

Options. So you can see it painted on the shape of a nail and you go, give me this one specifically. Right. Yeah. So I picked the color. Like, that was nice. She came back.

She started putting it on and then she goes, oh, actually, our colors have kind of changed. So is this okay? And I kind of like half looked at it because at the time I was getting messages about Shaga being sick. And I was like over-stimmed and whatever. And I was just kind of like, yes. And then as she was putting it on, I was going, wow, that's really like leprechaun green. It's giving toxic waste. It's like really like leprechaun green. It's giving toxic waste. It's like really like toxic green.

It's very like. These are all my toenails. I call it booger green. It's a booger. No, you got the double. That's an unhealthy booger. Yeah. That's how you know.

It looks like booger green. It looks booger green. It's bad. Anyway, I just thought it would like kind of fix itself after a couple of coats, but it just got progressively worse. It got darker. It would make it better. Yeah, it got worse.

And then I was like, oh, I actually want like a fun print on my ring finger. Can you do like a little checker situation? A little gingham. Yeah, he was like, yeah, cool. He did it. And I looked at it. I was like, oh, my God, that's horrible. They're the worst nails I've ever seen in my life.

They're really bad. And I showed Jethro them the other day. See, it's funny because I was like, that's so Babs. I just copped it, though. And I showed Jethro and I was like, my nails look so bad. He goes, oh, yeah. I was like, you have to Babs. I just copped it, though, and I showed Jethro, and I was like, my nails look so bad. He goes, oh, yeah. I was like, you have to make me feel better about it. No.

I don't notice. Like, oh, you showed me. I was like, oh, yeah, okay. Thinking like. Grow, man. They're the first thing that Jeth saw this morning. They were, because look at them. I love that, Jeth.

It's like they need to come with a biohazard warning. They stand out like dog balls. Jess hasn't seen you in a week. They look horrible. Jess is like, you look like shit, Babs. Yeah, literally. What's happened to something gone? So my toenails are the same colour.

Hang on, did you get that stupid little gingham print on your toes? No, no, no. I just got the booger green colour on my toenails. My issue is that she was giving me out. The woman said, oh, hang on a minute. Yeah, do you like it? Colours are a little changed. Do you like it?

No, but also, who changes the colours of her nails? No one does. That means she's a huge chicken. I think she's almost second. She's president of the club. So I get a T-shirt. You're VP, baby. You get your blockbuster coupon.

You're in. I think it is absolutely at the top of the pile. The nail salon is the most common place for chickens to emerge. People cannot speak up. And how much did you pay for the double? Is it shellac? $70. Yeah.

I know. I was like, okay, that's like a full day's work for me, guys. Come on. Happy Thursday, team. It's been a hell of a show. Couldn't agree more. We had a first? We had a first.

Yeah. I have had on this side of the desk a spray water bottle. It was actually the idea of my mum's when we had a cheeky Labrador who would always like eat his own poo or do bad things, naughty things and when she would take him on

walks, she didn't know how to discipline him and read somewhere having a little squirt bottle. Like a hairdresser spray bottle. Like a hairdresser spray, just to give him a little, stranger, stop that. You know, quite humane, but it gets the message across. Yeah. You've been licking that mow of yours since the minute it grew past your lips. And I told you guys to slap me if I ever lick it, which I'm glad I did.

Yeah, which across the desk is hard to slap you. So Shy Guy bought me a hairdresser squirt bottle. I've had it here for a week. And today you just gave me the slowest, most what felt intentional. I know. We look back at the video and Jess squirted me. We're going to post it up. It's very funny. That is the most athletic I've ever been in my life. I can't believe my eyes.

It was quick reflexes. You got me right in the eye. You should have seen me. Are you okay? I'm fine. Sorry. Is the desk okay? Because I had questions about squirting water at you.

It all seems fine. Okay, good. I've spilled coffee over here before, so it's okay. I went to the Newcastle show last week, and I tried to win my daughter a big Snorlax Pokemon. And I stupidly picked a darts game where you had to burst balloons. Oh, yeah, that's why. Bro, the guy felt, the carny felt so bad for me, he gave me three extra goes. They never do that.

Carnies will always try to shortchange you. I couldn't hit the balloons. So the fact I got you, unbelievable. You got me really good. I mean, I'm about half a metre away from you, but you got me. So we're going to post a video. You can have it. Give me the win. We'll post a video on Jess and Ducker. You see me centrally lick it

and I'm not even like, I didn't know you had that. I just do it now so slowly. You do. And you said it's not to get flavour. No, it's just... It's not like you're getting the remnants of your birch... What did you have today? Oats. Oats, yeah.

It's not like you're getting the leftover oats and banana. I'm getting things stuck in there a bit now, though. It's just getting... Yeah. Where did we land, sorry? You were saying your wife asked you, are you going to keep it for the birth of your child? It's a surprise.

I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet. Well, I showed you my birth photo, so I get to see yours slash Morgan. You get to see Morgan deep in it. So I can't wait to see whether the moment is. Yeah, just my moment. Oh, hey, if you didn't miss any of this show, grab it on listen. A great show today. Jess's first show back

this week. Yes, yes. Some light and shade, some good fun and some serious stuff as well. Where you've been with Lucia being obviously sick. Again, thank you to everyone who's still texting in, who's messaging the show. Really appreciate the support and the kindness. And, yeah, it is one of those cliche things, but it feels good knowing I wasn't alone. Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it is, you know, one in 30 children can experience a febrile seizure. Yes. But, yes. It's more common than you think. More common than you think. Absolutely. And a good reminder of how important a firstrile seizure. Yes. But yes. It's more common than you think. More common than you think, absolutely. And a good reminder of how important a first aid course is. Absolutely. We are back tomorrow.

It's Friday. Maybe Shaga will be here. Hopefully we have our lunch after the show as well, so let's see what happens there. Yes. We have AlphaLux. We're drawing those Dua Lipa tickets tomorrow. Oh, yes.

Thank you to everyone who got involved in the show today. We'll have more opportunities tomorrow, of course. We are out of here. We will. See you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. That's it for Jess and Ducko.

If you missed the show, get the podcast on the listener app and follow them on socials at Jess and Ducko. This is it. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McRap is even more reason for a Macca's run.