Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | At least I shit!

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

We try the bird theory trend, our favorite Today Show reporter calls in and we play Wordie-Okie!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recold the pole. We live in the day yet. Podcast, fuck yeah. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome.

Welcome. Here we go. Another big day, another big show. Absolutely. Had an idea run past me. Oh, yes. I thought I'd temperature check you guys. So we've got our staff Christmas party coming up, and I was catching up with some mates yesterday.

He runs trivia around town, and one of the pubs has just started doing a supplementary night of trivia, specifically, filthy bingo. Oh, yeah. Have you seen filthy bingo around? I've seen this guy do it. Yeah, so essentially it's bingo, but on your game card, it'll be like titties, or it'll be, you know, butt plug. And then he pulls the things out, and you obviously have to call out bingo. And we're just talking about him doing that. It's been quite successful in the pub.

And he goes, I'm actually trying to branch out into corporates. Oh, yeah. Christmas parties and whatnot. I said, hey, my Christmas party's coming up. He goes, do you reckon your workplace would go for filthy bingo at the Christmas party? And I said, I can introduce you to the culture committee. You'd have to get that past the country. But I also could think of anything worse than doing that with our, like, our environment.

I think that's why it would be so funny. I flagged some of the higher ups in the business. I can't imagine they'd find. I'd chuckle. They wouldn't be like, butt plug. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bingo! And also, the Christmas party is really just a chance for the culture committee to get up there

and speak in front of every run and just, you know, flex their muscles. And just say, you're welcome. Yeah, they'd be annoyed someone else is doing something. Like, they'd be like, you know. Yeah, taking a bit of thunder. Yes, yes. Maybe if they were running the filthy bingo themselves, whereas he's like, oh, it's my thing, I facilitate.

And my only thing, I'd love doing that maybe on a night, but when it's a Christmas party, I just kind of want to get drunk. You want to eat? Eat and get drunk. Talk to who you want to talk to who you want to talk to. A little bit, you know, if you play a game sort of locks you in. But then again, it could be someone to break it up. Yes, because we are booked in for a luncheon, which sort of is, it can be a little bit

stagnant. You're just sort of sitting there. Let's be real. We'll try and crowbar ourselves into one end of a table. So we're all sitting together. They'll assign seats and they'll sit us next to people we don't usually work. So what we're going to do, I will nominate myself. I will go earlier and switch the post cards around. I'm very happy. But then we'll be sitting next to each other and they'll go, hang on a minute.

Who cares? But who cares? I'll switch everyone around. You know what I mean? And so they go, what are they going to do? We're all adults here. Yeah. I mean,

Oh, if anyone would tell us off, it'd be these people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is a great venue we're going. Oh, I'm very excited for the lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait for the lamb shoulder there. Yes, they do. We've got a couple of group meals coming up, actually.

We've got our own little team lunch. Yeah. Christmas party lunch. Yeah. Beautiful. Next Tuesday. We've been invited to a Thanksgiving. Oh.

Remember I told you about that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we're not going to. Nah, no, we can never make the date. No, we can never make, yeah. But there's a couple of opportunities to share a meal. Yeah, yeah. That's nice.

Do you want to have a Thanksgiving best? That means we've got a couple of opportunities for Jess to be the table captain. Oh, yeah. Well, you dipped your toe in this with your in-laws here the other day. I didn't like it. You didn't like it. I mean, I know that restaurant pretty well. Suppose at Christmas party, they'll just give us food.

It's funny. I knew you'd sent that to me after you'd probably ordered. You were like, oh, we get it out the way, now I can send it to Jess. I had notes on it. And I was like, I know it's too late to give him feedback. Oh, yeah, feedback on my captaining. When you'd written T-Bone, I was like, how you want it cooked, what sauce, what sauce, what size? One kilo, medium rare mushroom.

And you'd actually written the sides elsewhere on the notes. It wasn't near the T-bone. I was like, well, now's getting confusing. You've got to put it all together. Well, sides was its own itemized thing on the menu. Ah, so not what came with the T-Bone. No, T-Bone came on its own. This is me not knowing the menu well enough.

Glad I held my tongue. You know the menu you were there. A kilo of steak. That's a big bloody T-Bone. I was, we're going there for the Melbourne Cup. I don't think they give us a team. I was going to say, we don't order, do we?

It's honestly worth it. Are you amazing with the dude? Can you just put in a request? My mum and dad are coming too, so surely. Say, hey, my mum and Jess, very low on iron. Could we get the T-bone? Can we get the T-bone? Yeah, I will.

You would like it a lot. You know, your mum's perimenopausal and I'm on me rags. I need iron, baby. Are you on your bleeds? Not right now, but I could be by Tuesday. I was going to say, you're syncing it up. Yeah, no, I've wrapped up. I'm probably about two weeks off.

But they don't need to know. No, that needs. I'll just say, okay, I'm just drafting a text now. I need. Mum's menopausal and Jess is on rags. Need iron. I. I mean, I, E.

T-bone. Say shy guys on his rags. Why not? A period. It makes people very uncomfortable. I doubt he'd question it. Yeah. I remove the uncomfortability by saying that.

Yeah. There you got. Remove the taboo. I wasn't uncomfortable. I don't care. You've been in radio long enough. You can talk about your bleeds if you want that. You bleeds.

Bleeds. Yeah. Okay, maybe Babbs is uncomfortable. No, that's just such a weird way. Are you on your bleeds? Yeah, I don't know if I've heard phrase one. Yeah, your bleeds. Yeah, I'll turn into a thing.

She was of blood. But yes, I like the tea bone. But you and I are very different on the cook spectrum. Medium rare? No. Medium well. Oh, no. I'm working on it.

We got medium because Robin didn't want rare and it was okay. I'm working on it. I can't do medium well done, man. I used to literally say cremate. the humk of me. I can't see pink. Medium well is a massive step for me. No, yeah, we don't want to do that.

We need two T-bones. Bazzas is going to go to to hear about the latest redundancies. Babs has a staff meeting to go to to hear about the latest redundancies. Wow. That was an accident. I was touching the little peepie. My fucking boy Jack Hahn on the TV. He's out there.

He's still growing. Is he going to play? He's busting. Can we have a second? He told us today, you'll hear it in the show. He wakes up at 3 a.m. about this story. But it is not.

There's no laughing matter for people that like performing in public because, yeah, it is true. And he's still going at 9 o'clock. This is the biggest shift of all time. This is now dipped into what's the Today Show Extra, is it? Yeah, Today Extra. We're close to Today Extra. And this looks almost Today Extra. How is he doing both?

I knew he was the only reporter. He tried to tell me that the newsroom stacked. He is the only person in it. What a fun interview, by the way, because we're all going, what are we going to chat to him about? And there was no sheet. There was no topic. And, geez, it was fun. Yeah, no sheet.

Thanks, babes. Thanks for really living as high and dry. In fairness to Jack, on the Channel 9 website, it just says, Jack Hahn, today's your reporter. And I couldn't get onto his blog. And then Ducco said, don't worry about it. And we didn't need it, but I wanted you to dig up dirt. That's your job. And then we found out his age, too.

23. Yeah. Do you want to play that sheet game? Sheet stakes. That's a good one. Purely for the name. But Babs, okay, so we give you an ad and a song. And we go, so if we do it like a 40 break, we go, all right, our surprise guest interview, we need you Babs to give us a sheet on.

whatever like insert name yeah and then babs has a song we come back and we can only think of people we've interviewed in recent times should already have the sheet ready obviously we're not interviewing that person no no it's not in front of them because at the end of the day that would just make ducklin i look bad most like you guys is giving this is a challenge that bab is put in the sheet yeah yeah and see what good stuff she can come up with yeah usually a sheet would be what they're on for but we wouldn't have that yeah because we'll just circle back we interviewed the golden bachelor recently yeah anything on wikipedia anyone could find the The role of a producer in my eyes,

find gold, baby. Find something that's a conversation starter. But then I suppose we're not asking... I could just go on Wikipedia. We're not asking the person because we don't have them. No, but it's almost a learning for us. What did she fight? Oh, damn.

Okay, look at this. Maybe we'll just drop it sporadically into show. She has no faith in her ability. You're a quick Googler. I am a quick guy's faster, but... No, he's not. Oh, I think shy guys winning the Google off. Quick fingers.

Yeah, but he's also in real time in here. I'm a bit like... Oh, sorry, you're not. You're not in real time. Are you going to delay? You're just not. You're just not listening out there half the time. No, I am.

You're not. Some of you're like, what? What do you just say to me? And I'm like, I'm like, Babs, what about brother? And you're like, half the time you're not listening. And the other half, you're not there. What do you mean? I've thrown to you twice and you've not been there.

That's not true. I feel like Shog has turned on touch today. You know what? At least I shit. What do you mean? I shit? I just don't do it at work. That's what's wrong with that.

This is a personal choice. At least I shit is one of the crazy. fucking slams. While we're on the subject, I've been going, but at the same time every day for the last four days, super regular. Can we go for the, uh, five days in a row? What's a, a Quinn, Quinn, what's it when it's five? Quinn tuple.

Quinn tuple. Can we go for the Quinn Factor? Quenfector? Tomorrow. I hope so. I'm going to set an alarm, 7.30. Do you often look down into see what you've done? I don't look down, no.

As in, not through my legs. I can't get up and look. Oh, yeah. So what you mean? Yeah. Pre toilet paper. For some reason, I'm thinking you're still sitting and then you're just like, spread of that. I know my berries hanging

I'm going to sort of get up But I don't like getting up Because it feels like You haven't wiped properly yet You then, you know This is a question for you Yeah And Babs you'll be next to answer

Shy Guy third Sure Do you Arise To wipe Or just sort of I rise I rise

Lean forward Oh you stand up No See I stand up See I stand up too Yeah I knew Oh my God

Stop doing that I don't No No I don't like this out I don't make more sense About an hour and a half They're high-fiving each other

And it's just I've got so much in common I just feel sorry for them when I do that It just makes Don't be jealous It's okay No, I'm not jealous of standing To wipe my ass

That's for sure You've worn it up You guys Because when you're standing Your butt cheeks And your assholes gonna go in together Thus if you have any poo there

Yeah but I always You'll shout Right after I poo Oh now it's going That's so weird We're learning If I do like a midday poo I'll just have a quick shower

Ew This is the thing Because you're not wiping your ass properly. No, I do wipe my ass more than I need to, but I just like to shower afterwards. How tight are your ass cheeks? You can't get in between them to wipe properly. No, but I can because I'm sitting down. I do it.

If you're standing up, but if you're standing up there, but if you're saying bow-legged, is that what you're doing to stand bow-legged? God, now I can't even imagine. Because your asshole will go in a bit. Yeah, but my butt cheeks. My butt cheeks. My butt cheeks. And dangleberries. I don't have, yeah, okay, maybe that is a factor.

My bum isn't that taught. I can get in between the cheeks. It's not like it rocks. When you're standing up, though, like when you're bent over, you're spread, your cheeks are open. When you stand up, your cheeks are naturally going to come together. But then you get in with your hands. If you're done shitting. Why don't you stay on the seat when it's already spread and put your hand in with a gap in?

Because I feel like that angle is harder. Yeah, I agree. Standing up is easier. Try it. Not a chance. I'll stay sitting. You try standing. It's not that hard to get to your asshole standing up.

It's also not that hard to do it's sitting down when it's already open. The best I'm just saying, it's naturally what I, it's like if you're a folder or a scruncher. I think you naturally have a pre-discan. Are you putting the toilet paper, are you putting it in there then standing and doing it? Or are you standing and putting it even think? I don't know. Like, are you standing and then putting it in there? I have to record it.

I think it's in the one motion. So you're putting it in that under when you're sitting and then you're standing and wiping it up. Sort of as you stand. As you stand, you're going up. It's all in. It's one motion. So technically you are doing it sitting. You need a bend.

You're technically doing it sitting because you're starting putting it in sitting and then standing up. You're not standing then doing it. But the wipe motion is standing. And then when you need to. wipe again, do you sit back down and do it again? No. No. So what do you do then?

And to be, what do you mean? I'm standing. So you stand? I was going to say, I don't need that many. But if you need a second wipe, you always need a second, right? Just to double check. Not always. Most of the time, so then when you're already standing, then you're upstanding, then you wipe again.

You're not doing that motion anymore. No. So then you'll just be doing it standing, thus the cheeks be closer together. Which for me, brought with danger. But I just get in more. I don't need them spread out my asshole on display to get in. I just get in myself. You know what I'm saying?

No, because you're doing two different methods then. So you're sitting standing and then you're just standing. It's two different ways to wipe. Whereas when you could just sit and the cheeks are spread. I think I need to go and be in the moment. I'm confused about the method because I get the putting it in and standing. That's one way. Yeah.

Second wipe. Because that's when going back to your first point about looking because then I'm up and that's when I look. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I look on the stand. That's why I question. When are you looking if it's through your legs or when you get up? So you'll finish sitting, then stand up, have a look.

But then it's covered. Mostly covered, I guess. If I buy covered by... The toilet paper. No, no, no. Like I'll look for pre-tall paper. Yeah, yeah. If I'm really wanted to.

Otherwise, I'll just, I'll wipe and then sort of look down. So you'll go plop, stand up look, sit back down, clean up. If I'm really inspecting it, if I just want to see. If you want to see your health, you get a little microbiome check. Yes, correct. Then you need unencumbered. Because sometimes I'll like wipe, look, and I go, geez, I've really, it's just bunched in the corner there. I will try the standing wife.

Please do. And I'll try and stay sitting. The thing that will wig me will be the second wipe, maybe, God forbid the third. At what position angle? And also then, leaning down to get the toilet paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm now trying to really put myself in. Go the mechanics.

Yeah. When I sit, what I do is I put one ass cheek on one of the seats and then it spreads it a bit more. And then I can just. You like a spread. Oh, wow. You're really opening up. Just so I get, so I don't want any dangleberries. Your ass isn't that huge.

I know, I just don't want to eat dangleberries, you know? Yeah, yeah, fair. Yeah. But that's a wide, that's a relatively wide mouth. You can get both cheeks on a one. No, no, no, no. So my left cheek will go on the seat and the cheek is just floating. Copy that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, no, I'm thinking you can then perch the right over. Yeah, no, no, left on the seat, then that's floating. And then I'll white, look, white. How do you really like it open? Well, I just to minimize any friction. Yes, and I just want it to be all clean. I want to try that now.

I don't know who's going to look at my rim. Have you ever spread your bum that wide bounce? Because you don't, you don't stand babbs. You're a sitter. So you do it like I do it? You're sitting white. Yeah, just sit and white. How many wipes is you're up?

I mean, I feel like it's. I mean, it's, I've never, yeah, the standing thing's winging me out. It's winging me out, too. I want to, now I really want to know what other people do. Yeah. Like, I actually, no, it's too, it's too. Yeah, it's too. Yeah, it's too.

Yeah, it's too. Yeah. That's something I think you'd want to be a part of it. No, no, no, no, I mean it's crass. I mean, it's too basic. Again, I don't think it's the most basic you've ever done. Maybe when it's just you and Babs, again, you can do that. You guys, you know, keep it simple.

What are you doing? What are you doing? Siters, you're not. Hey, if you're listening to us right now and you are very engaged. Have you ever actually thought about it? Yeah. Because, again, it's one of those things you wouldn't think about it. You're so rarely doing a poo with another person in the cubicle unless you may.

And no one teaches you. No one teaches you. It's what your natural disposition is. Yeah. It's like people who wipe the wrong. way around, you know, front to back. See, but that I argue, that's bad education. Oh, no, back to front. Yeah, yeah, that's a bad education. Yeah, that's just, you know,

you don't want to be doing that, particularly if you're a lady. You don't want poopie in there. No, no, no. You tried the wet wipes yet? I haven't, because you can't flush them. There are flushable ones. You buy the flushable. Yeah, but I've still read that they're not good. Fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And for your pipes. I don't really have, it's mainly our pipes. Well, we've learned a lot about block pipes, too. Yeah, yeah. So I'd have to use them and put them in like a poo bag. That's why you got your bag of plastic bags For now, poo wipes

Yeah, yeah I could use them at work Yeah, true I do want to try them We are on the 7th story That's a lot of pipe to get through It definitely It definitely says they're flushable on the thing

Yeah, yeah That's what they're marketed for So they can sit in the bathroom And not have to go in a bin Because that's a hard sell Hey, wipe your bum With this why But then you have to throw it in your bin

In the bathroom That's a hard market It's kind of what you do with your kids, right? Well yes, I guess technically You put that in the bin They're not flushable. They're not flusheed. Yeah.

The Nappy bin. We started keeping the Nappy bin outside of her room in the corridor because my... Just stinks? Oh, that's... Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, good point. They go in the bin.

But they're not marketed as flushable. I do really want to try it though. Like, I think it'd be nice. Yeah. It is nice. Yeah, I just want to get a... Oh, you got them? Yeah, not for every wipe, but sometimes.

Yeah. Sometimes you feel like you need it. But then, are you still having a shower? When do you feel like you need it? That's a good question. Like, if it's a really big one. Ew. And will you still stand and then do three wipes while standing when it's a big one?

Because that's what I'm getting worried about. Just start with the wet one. And that usually does it all. There you go. And then still have a shower. You're very clean down there, aren't you? Clean everyone. Would you be as clean down there, but?

I want someone else now, like anyone, to come in and tell me what they do. Because I just want to. Yeah, yeah. He's the closest. Yeah, yeah. Anyone? Dave Don't. Could you imagine?

Always learning. Yeah, I know. As we talked about in the show, surprising each other in relationships, surprising each other in this team. She's funny how two of us are so staunch and the other two are so staunch. I can't believe you haven't high-fived yet. Look at Babs's body language.

I'm cold. That's when her arms are crossed. Bring the bell, Babs. I thought you're uncomfortable. Hey, um, yeah, enjoy. Yes. When you sign old ladies' boobies, you stretch the skin out to avoid the wrinkles. I ain't got to explain.

Ducco. Oh, sweetie. Oh, when you smell your armpits, I want it. Got him going insane. Yeah, shy guy. When you drive past a truck, you don't know if it's full or empty inside. Fast. People were definitely watching.

Oh, fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Right on six. Hey, welcome to Thursday. Good morning. Good morning. Surprised to see you in a grey t-shirt today and not a lab coat. Well, yes.

Today's the day, isn't it? Yes, I've got my science panel tonight. I actually forgot about that. Mr. Scy. Yes, I've got that tonight. I was like, why did I be in a lab coat? Oh, yes, thanks for reminding me. I woke up thinking about it.

I was like, ooh, Doug has got a science talk today. I'm on a panel tonight. You are. I'm so proud of you. I just can't wait to hear about it. No, Dale, have updates on the show tomorrow. I'm sure you will, and I thank you for that in advance. Yes.

But I just thought you would be leaning into the character. I know you're a method actor. I know, I should have. I thought you'd be leaning into the character as soon as you woke up this. Stethoscope, you know, I should have been saying things like scalpel! Absolutely. Test tubes.

Yeah, that is tonight, isn't it? That'll be exciting. Is that a Bunsen burner in your pocket? You're just happy to see Shy Guy. Always. Those big white goggles. Yes, that's right. Safety first.

Obviously. Obviously. Yeah, yeah. You're not silly. Well, yeah, hopefully it goes well. I'm sure. Hopefully there's a good number of people there who are coming down to the next to see me talk about the old male fertility.

That's right. The old sperm chats. Got me Dr. Sperm. I, um, yeah, I'm excited for you. Yeah, it'd be a really good night. Obviously, huge on your radar. You're like, I've got a lot to do before then.

Honestly, because I'm not emceeing and I haven't had to prepare. I'm just getting asked questions. That must feel so discombobulating for you when you usually go to events like this and you have minimum three jobs. Yep. Best man. Emcee. Whatever it may be. And also when you're emcee, you're going to be very thorough.

Yep. With particular stuff like this, but just getting asked questions. No song, no six-minute medley. Hey, man. You can just enjoy. Nobody knows that better than me. You know? I'm the only one to answer that.

No prep required, baby. I'll be sweet. Hopefully, is there some good people that it's a good turnout? Absolutely. HMRI on Instagram if you want to come and check it out. You can check them up online. I think the link is still in our Instagram story as well. If you'd like to be there.

If you like to be there. Go along with free, man. Yeah, it's free. What do we talk? A literal drink on arrival. I don't know what that situation is. I don't even know where it will be because the next, for those that obviously haven't been there, I don't know what that is.

That is a big sort of function center place. Yeah. It's not going to be in a massive roll. No, because that can hold up to 1,000. Yeah, we've done events in there for like 5,600 plus. That's right. Must be somewhere else. I'm not sure where.

Yeah, true. I've got to find out a few fine details. Also, what does one wear to that? We've had a lot of fashion conversations in recent days, haven't we? Yeah, when you say about the Melbourne Cup? That's right. And then obviously our photos shoot the week prior. I guess to this, all I can think is lab coat is appropriate.

I know. I don't. All the scientists and the smart people will be, you have to think in buttonups and chin. I think so because they're probably coming from the office. Yeah, yeah. So they're going to be in quite professional. attire. I don't know if you can roll in in a t-shirt and shorts. I feel like you've got

a closet up as well. Do you reckon a jean sneakers in a button up? Or do you reckon like I was thinking? That feels nice. You know what I always like? I've tried to get Angus to start wearing it, but he's not a fan. I like a jean and a blazer. I feel like that looks like... That's too rove live circa early 2000s.

Maybe that's why he doesn't want to do it. It's like, you don't know fashion. Because I like the sort of, it's business up top party down below. I'll do a plain white tea with a blazer. Don't hate that. I don't hate that. Just call me smallsy. Yeah, with a no.

That's why I like it. If you know, you know. You've got to class it up without wearing a full tucks. Yeah. So how do you do that as a boy? I don't know. The options for women are so much broader. For dudes, what can you wear?

I was thinking like jeans and a button up. Jeans and a button up is a nice shoe. Don't wear your frickin' burks. No, no. Not those slip on ones. I'll wear burks in a sock. It's dress up. I know you think you're round of.

Offbergs are a dressing shoe. No, they're not. I wear those. Not some of my nice shorts. I guess you are. You're the every man. Yeah, I'm the every man. I'm not made to be in love her up. She's just get your nuts out. That's what you're there to talk about. Get out there with them. Get out there. I said that to my wife. I saw what I wear. We also didn't come any closer to a conclusion. I guess it's just whatever I want. It is just what you want you want, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, I want you to feel

empowered. You're up again. You're in a line of men who are going to be in suits. And that's a power move wearing a suit. I don't think I'll go T-shirt. I think I'll go Button up or a short sleep, don't know. That's nice, that's nice. Feels good. We have good with that. Are you going to, what pant do we land on? I'm going to say, I am the pant, unless it's a gene, obviously.

Probably a gene or a chino. Okay, if it's a chino, I want a nice, stiff... Yeah. Yeah, nice, yeah. Pleat thing. Crease, I want a nice, stiff crease. My chinos are still, not, they're not super thin, but they're, like, fitted. Okay, beautiful.

You know what I mean? So they look a bit, a bit more classic. Yeah, well, I mean, is that these days? Who knows? Oh, who knows? We are in a casual era. No one dresses up anymore. and all the chicks are in sneakers and denim jackets.

I go, we would be crucified. How were you getting in any sneakers and a denim jacket? You couldn't get him back in my day. Unless you were wearing a four-inch heel. You needed a heel. You needed something like that, for sure. So out of place when I go clubbing these days. Yeah, when I used to about clubbing, it used to be you'd need like a dress shoe, even with jeans.

Did you have to do the thing being a group of boys who would want to go out on the town, have to mosey up to girls in the cube, being like, ladies, can we walk in with you? with this group. You guys go with that group. A group of boys, you never get in. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't matter how stiff your crease is on your chinos. And there's always the girls going first and then you're behind them and then one of them's like, they're not with us. Yeah, you're not with us. Yeah, you're like, wait.

Oh, way to do me dirty. Sally? Yeah, I thought we had a thing. Yeah. Yeah. I was always very willing. Yeah, come on here. Join with us. Yeah, yeah. But then the risk is you all get rejected. Yes. It's like, okay, no, I'm not with them. Can we please come in. 100%. It's funny. Security guards will, or they did anyway. I haven't done that in a while.

But they would let in a big group of girls, and the minute comes to guys, they'd look at me and be like, how many drinks your hat? And I was like, I don't know, five, maybe six. And he's like, too many. I'm like, what do you want me to say? I'm completely coherent, I promise. Make me walk in a line, I can do it. Don't you want patronage?

Everyone in this line has had a half a bottle of vodka. It's like, no, sorry, we've let in two boys already. That's all the boys. The security guards do that, but it's like they're not the ones on the dance floor with the boys. Yeah, there's other ones inside. Yeah, yeah. I suppose they worry about fights and stuff. Oh, fair enough.

When Darko rolls in, I'm like, well, this guy's going to punch on, absolutely. I'm a big one when I get really intoxicated. It's been a while since I've been like, but my eyes will go. My eyes get a bit droopy. You start getting the Steve Bouchemies. Yeah, I do. That's exactly what I get. So that would be a telltale.

Fair. When I rock up with sunnies on it at 11pm. I'm like, no, I'm good. This is my look. It's called fashion, man. It's fashion, baby. And I see with my blazer and my t-shirt, they're like, what an idiot. What a classy gentleman.

I bet you he was just on a science panel. Let him in. Hey, sit up straight up. We've got a big show because we've got a friend of the show, my colleague, Jack Hahn from the Today Show, joining us before 7. In one of the fastest replies and turnarounds.

You know, we might say to Shaq, oh, we'd love to talk to Pitfall. And it's a six-month process just to get rejected. You DMed him yesterday. Hey, you guys said, we'll get it done. We get it done. Maybe you should have DM Pitbull.

Oh. It's not too late. I'd still talk to Pitbull. Yeah, I can do that. Try. I'll chew my show. And start with, hey, Pippool. We just had Jack Hahn on the show.

Obviously, you're next. You're next. I said, well, why, come on. But yes, Jack Hahn, he's going to take a break from the Today Show. He's our absolute favourite. He's the all-rounder. He does everything. He's like we could learn from him. We could.

Don't you reckon? I want to know about the weirdest, wackiest places they put him. Does he know where he's going the night before? I couldn't get my head around something that fast. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's journalism. He's got to be across the facts. You and I can just talk shit.

It's fine. We don't need the break. Joe's like, what are we're going to talk to Jack Hahn about? I was like, mate, we got Jamie Dewey on. I think Jack will be fine. Don't you take Jamie Deary's name out your damn mouth. We chat to Jamie Deer. We'll be all right.

Of course we will because we're professionals. We've also got... Don't for smirch, Jamie. Alfa bikes, your chance of 10K, of course, playing at 7 and 8 o'clock. Wordiokey's on the show today. More chances at the Hunter Valley Christmas light. Spectacular. You're listening out for Mariah.

It could happen now. Oh, that's not it, though. Babs, why be so quick on that? Cheeky monkey. Yeah, naughty. Mind the gap. Don't confuse me. Mind the gap.

How are you, shy guy? I'm good. Really good. You're ready for Jack Hahn. Yeah, yeah. I'm ready. I've been texting him. He's ready to go.

Excellent. First time you've ever said, thank you for asking how you are. Normally you're like, fine. Don't ask anything for. Yeah, and how are you today? Great, thank you. Yeah, you look good today. Babs, you're good.

Yeah, I'm good. Looking forward to seeing the sheet. You know, the producers will always provide us with some information ahead of a guest. I just try to do that, honestly. I was going to go blind. There's not much, Johnny. I was just going to go blind. I don't recommend anything.

I want to see what Babbs comes up with. Okay, all right. I want to dig. That should be a new game. We give Babs one song to turn around a sheet on artists and then we read it. We can tell Babs, hey Babs, up next we have, insert name. I love it. Such and such from the Veronica's.

We play a song. Yes, Jess or Lisa. Maybe an ad break in a song to give us something. And we come back and we have to read Babs' sheet on air. I love it. That's fun. In front of the guess. No, no, I mean, there's no guess because we don't really get that many.

No, because we'll just look bad. It's just a challenge for Babs. We'll call it Sheat Steaks. Who needs prep? Damn, mate. This is what we do. There we go. It doesn't need a lab coat, baby.

He is on. Put that in, maybe not tomorrow, because I'll guys on a swingers cruise. Monday, Babes, sheet steaks. Oh, I like, that's... Babs just like, I hate my life. When can I put in my resignation? No. But you're right, it is a big show?

We're excited. Let's rip and tech. Up next, Ducco. I want to educate the young ones. Again, the single ones. Shy guy, pay attention. Okay. Pick up lines.

Oh, yeah. So, 2024. How you doing? What are we doing in 2025? I tell you on the other side. Jess and Ducco. Our mates at news.com. They've done a bit of an investigation.

Not so much of research or surveys, but they just kind of asked a couple people on the street. Some youngies. Yeah. What their thoughts are on pickup lines. lines. Well, you know, I never, contrary to poppy of the leaf, never really used pick-up lines. It's funny if I was going to stereotype you, I would have thought the duck man would have a couple in the back pocket to roll out.

I just don't, I never found them like they would work. I just never thought going up to a girl and saying a pickup line would ever do anything. Well, this is the thing. Some of the people who were interviewed, Vox popped on the street. A couple of ladies were saying, I don't mind a pickup line if it's uber cheesy. Yeah, if it's lame. And leaning towards funny. Whereas a couple of the blokees.

who were interviewed were like, no, because I just get like my, like, eyes roll back in the head or some guy dobed on his mate who said, some of my, some of my boys go so sexual, hoping that the lady will let him into her knickers. It's never going to work. It goes too far too soon. But maybe, Ducco, you never landed right on the, on the, you never landed on the right pick up. That's true. So we've got Mr. Smooth himself.

I thought we could do a little, a little role play before I tell you what it's been replaced with quickly. Ducco, you're a single lady. I need to embody a single lady. You're at a bar. You're looking hot. My name's going to be Babs. Hello.

So you're embodying hot Babs energy. I need to wash my hair. But you're on your own. The ladies, your friends haven't come yet. We are all my sisters. Slim Reaper has spotted you. Shaga, I want you to try and pick up sexy Babs over here. Give us your best pickup line.

Come on, embody it. Swave. Why does that have to be here? Would you rather it be bad? Yeah, thank you. I don't know what I'd rather. Just close your eyes. All right.

I'm just as nervous as if I was real. Tap her on the shoulder. Sorry, so did you hold something to say to me? That was like an aggressive tap. Don't knock me out. You've really got her attention. Oh, pepper spray you. Sorry.

Go again. I was today years old when I realized what I've been missing. Oh, wow, what's that? You. You're telling me you wouldn't drop panties right then and there? Oh, they're off. I'm dripping. That was nice.

All right, let's try another one. Reset, take two. Hello. Be honest. Do you always look this good? Yes. Stop it. My head's strore.

I don't even look good. Why am I British? I'm not you, Mae. It's not you. It's different. I'm a different villain. I'm in different Babs. All right.

One more trait. Come on. I'm Babbs in the UK. It works for another UK radio station. And this Babbs is doing this sexy thing where you can see the top of her jeep. I'll be another babs. I'll be another baths. Over her jeans. Okay.

Ready? How you doing? I don't usually do a double take, but you're the exception. Ain't that the truth? Oh, she's southern. Oh, you've gone. Ain't that the truth. Now you can see why.

That's better. Maybe. That was a great example, Sean. Well done to you, putting yourself out that maybe why they're dying. What they've apparently been replaced with, anecdotally, a few people saying, instead of actually going up to, let's just say a man to a woman, they'll get their app open, whether it's Tinder, whether it's Bumbled, the one that uses a radius situation and swipe through really make the radius small to like 5K and see if her dating profile pops up in the vicinity because it'll pick up.

singles in your area. So instead of actually going up to them in real life, just swipe around on the dating app. It's like Pokemon Go. Exactly. Match with them. There's a wild one over there. Quick, let's go.

Match with them and then go home that night going, hey, I saw you out tonight, you up, want to come over, Netflix and chill. Let's go. And take the conversation digitally instead of actually taking advantage in person in the moment. Crazy.

Are the rum is true? Your reputation precedes you. No one hates this one than shy guy. Oh, I think Babs hates it. The most popular dog names revealed. For 2025. I always like. They don't want to be across the trends.

Even though I don't want a common dog name, I like to know. Yeah. You know, Milo. Cleo. Oscar's always up there. Rufus. Rufus. Rufus does get a good running with dog names.

I see you with the Rufus because you love Rufus due soul. Ponded it. And it's a great doggy name, yeah. Indy is another dog name. Huge one. I know a lot of children name Indy these days as well. I like when the line start blurring. Was it a kid or is it a dog?

I'm now good friends with a girl called Indy, like her and a partner, Chris. So now I could never call my dog Indy. Indy's now a human to me. I knew a couple of jess dogs growing up. And I'm always a bit like, that's a human name. We got co-opted by the dogs. I mean, shout out to Pam's out there. Pam's out there.

Gianni's out there. Anyway, the online pet supplier, retailer and pharmacy called Chewy has used data from their profiles where people put in pet names and given us a list. Fun ones, though, not the top ten before we get there. Food-inspired names, you'll like this, are going up in popularity. Cheeto and Pickles. Pickles is a great one. Pickles, that rose 25% popularity since last year.

And Brisket is up 68%. Oh my God, I picture Brisket as like a shaggy, you know, dark brown. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you know, Peney was on our list? Was it? But Angus vetoed. Penini, that's not bad.

I thought Panne was fun. But then, you know, for sure, you'd call it Pan. And then we'd be like... I imagine if we had a pan and a Pam. Very confusing. You're so right. Oh, okay. No Panini.

Penis a good name, though. Thank you. The Wicked Film, obviously. Elfaba is on the rise. That's gone up 200%. Can you imagine yelling Elfabar out at the dog park? We actually had a rice cook and not long ago, Ducco tell us about their...

I think it was a red heel and a blue heel of wicked. I think they were called Elphaba and Fierro. Two of the main character. Glinda. Glinda's got up 175% since last year. Again, I ask you, you're yelling that out of the park. Elvaba! Yeah.

Since the White Lotus, this is a bit of fun. This has gone up 33%. Piper. Piper, no. That's the one you would do. I didn't watch season three. Piper now. And I assume the dog would only respond if you said it in that way.

But when you say Piper, no. It won't think it's doing anything wrong because you always say no. Piper, no. You have to say, Papa, yes. Anyway. The top 10 names, here we go. Number 10, human name, Sadie. That's a lovely name.

It's a good name. I don't want the dog to co-op Sadie. I like that for humans. Some of my friends' kids called Sadie. Yes, that's a great name. And John Farnham obviously made it very popular. Number nine, buddy. That's a big dog name.

That's a bit boring. Eight is Cooper, also a popular human name. Yes. And then we got Bailey and Charlie coming into the top five now. It's all human names. Max is five. Lucy is four. Lucy?

Yeah. That's an interesting. Interesting. I've never, I've never got a dog called Lucy. Daisy three. Yeah, but I thought that would more cow, but sure. And then the top two are pretty boring. Luna and the number one dog name for 2025 in our country is Bella. I know.

That's disappointing. Because it's not even a bad human name. It's a good human name. Like you want stupid human names. You do, but they're just normal. They just... I would love to meet a dog called Luke. Didn't we meet a cat called Steve?

Yeah. There was another rice cooker with a cat called Steve. I think so. Yeah, Bella. Yeah. This is why I think you should let your kids name your animals. Yeah. Because they will come up with something whack.

Yeah. T-Rex. Yeah. We met a, remember, we met a dog. Oh, I think it was a dog called Dim Sim. Dim. Dim, yeah, that's a bit of fun. Again, I think food-inspired names are the best.

Conchering for the chickens. Yeah, yeah, you know. We love that. Yeah. Punny or food-inspired. We're just stupid. Just stupid. Yeah, yeah.

No disrespect to the Bellas out there. Yeah, Bellas isn't a normal name. It's been done, is what I'm hearing. No new Bellas for 2020. on up since Twilight, Bella. That's why it's so high. Wow. And that's going back. And it never came down. What, eight years ago? People like Babs still watch Twilight or regularly. Yeah, fair. Yeah, they're releasing at the movies tonight. Are they? Yeah, they are. They're doing a special screening. What do you mean for like Halloween or something? I think it's like an anniversary thing.

Are you going to go? I don't know yet. I don't know yet. Mate, you better get tickets he'll sell out. I know. Which one are they playing? The first one or all three? Is it a marathon? The first one? Just the first. Yeah. Well, you've got to go back and see the second and the first. Yeah, I can do that at home They are possibly some of the worst films Ever created Like, like, no, but you know what I mean Like, it's cheesy

The chemistry or lack thereof Between Kristen and what's his name? Robert. Oh my God. Anyway, Babs go and report on it for us. Yeah, I might just do that. Were you team Edward or team the wolf? He's wolf, Jacob.

I was team Jacob when I was little and now I'm team Edward. Yeah, she's matured. When you get older, you realise Edward had a lot going on. Yeah, the sparkly skis. Oh, he just had a lot going on. I smell you. Enough about this.

I can taste you. We've got Jack Hahn on next. Oh my God, come on. We can't run late for Jack Han. We already are. I'd like his opinion on, um, Twilight. Oh, oh, Twilight. Whatever.

We'll ask you whatever we want. He's joining us next. Jess and Ducko. Very excited for our next guest. I'm sitting up a bit straighter. Are you? I've been looking forward for a while. Admiring his work from afar from the Today Show, Jack Han.

Now, if you don't know, Jack Han from the Today Show, you will if you see him. He's the guy who gets every single new story, no matter what it is. Light and shade, he does it all. He does it all. I've been meaning to ask, have they got rid of all the other reporters? Because he is the only guy I see. Besides Carl and Sarah,

and I'll be honest, I feel like I say Jack Moore. Yeah, I've got some audio here of Jack. There's just a little montage of some of Jack's finest moments. I have a speed gun, a LiDAR gun to check speed. So we're out here to see

how fast these e-bikes goes. Radar is on, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go. LiDAR. Yep. 40-151. Lock him up. Is this bike path to human rights?

violations. Hey, sir, what's wrong with the bike path? Did you miss the sign, sir? There's the bike path right there. Have a good day as he goes sailing right past the bike path. You have been saying to me, oh, you shouldn't wear your rashy, so quite literally, I'm not going to. Oh, oh. Jackie Boy! Well done! Hundreds of black balls washing up randomly. After much work, collecting some samples and examining the balls, the EPA were... Sorry, the EPA were... able to determine that they are tarbors likely to be an, sorry, Jane, likely to be an oil spill from a freight ship.

Jackie Hart. Jack Han, good morning to you, sir. Good morning to you. Look, I think the career highlight has to be the big black balls. Absolutely. And the funny story, the funny story about that was me and my cameraman had a little bit of a bed. It was right, how many times can you say big black balls on national television with a straight face?

I got to about the second time and he loses it. And just like we're in the back of school, I just was like, I saw him lose it and then I lost it. And then I'm thinking, again, sticking with the school theme, I'm thinking teacher Jane's, you know, bind me off. And at the end, I'm like, I'm so sorry, Jane. I just couldn't lose it. I think that's the only time that I've been able to, uncontrollable laugh at the same big black balls.

When you got back to the studio, did Jane put you in detention? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Are you the busiest reporter on the Today Show? We see you everywhere. Today you're doing the busking bands in Sydney. Then you do the busy train lines. Then you do the big black balls. Do you do the black balls? Do you know where you're going the night before? Do you just roll in that morning? How does it happen? I love it. I'll wake up at 3 o'clock and it could be anything at all around Sydney. As you mentioned, it could be crime. It could be a shooting. It could be fun. It could be big black balls. Could be anything at all. So you've just really got no idea. And you came to me and you're like, look, is there any other? the reporters, don't you worry, the nine newsroom and the NBN newsroom in Newcastle, fully staffed, just no one wants to wake up at three o'clock. I'm the only one crazy enough to do that. Okay, understood.

Well, this is the thing, you've got that go-getter energy that I think that's why you're so attractive to Ducco and I, because we just feel a kindred spirit in you. You are just the most contagious energy, and it doesn't matter what you are covering, Jack. I mean, what's your secret? I know you've got youth on your side, but for anyone, listening, thinking, how is this bloke getting up at 3am and still bringing that vitality? What gets you going? What keeps you going?

A lot of caffeine. I think, oh, yeah. I mean, look, let's face it. That's one way to cheat being tired. Yeah, absolutely. And, oh, look, I don't know. I just get it. And I'm sure, like, you both have been told, just be yourself.

And it sounds kind of like really simple. But sometimes when you're on TV, on the radio, you're like, oh, you know, what happened if I'm a little bit too weird or a little bit too out there? And I thought, who cares? Yeah, people love you to you, man. And just be whoever you are, yeah. And you're doing great job. We love it.

I think we need to use you as our correspondent moving forward. If anything ever breaks, we went Jack home. Because you'll give it to us straight, mate. You'll give it to us real. Yeah, like the busking band here in Sydney this morning. I mean, if you, we've replaced busking with the sound of, you know, angry drivers beeping their horns, the leaf blower. Like, you know, we've really got culture down here in Sydney.

Maybe don't even bother coming down the M-1. Just forget it. And, mate, before we let you go, hit me, what is it, career, like, highlight, but low light? Like, the funniest, apart from the black balls. Well, you're scratching your head going, how did I end up here? How am I here? How did this happen to me?

All right, I did a story in Perth, Western Australian. I'll preface this by saying that everyone's okay, no one got hurt. But it was Valentine's Day, all right? It was Valentine's Day in Mandra, which is, you know, heartland, okay? And there was a woman had on the town, and she was, you know, trying to chat up some of the blokes and she got rejected she took it very bad now how bad am i talking well she jumped in her red mustang and uh allegedly blotted towards the bar now i was like right okay now everyone was okay as i said but i thought how do i do this in the

tv way you know how we always have those one liners i thought boom i've got it so i started the story by going she was fast and it was the you know the car going into the building And I was like, she was fast and furious. And then it was like the audio pair going, and I was like, this is commercial TV 101. And then you quickly come and like, and no one was hurt. And no one was hurt. I had to preface it though.

Because I know Ducko's hands right now just shivering over the dump. I need to crash out of this segment. Where's Taylor Swift to save me? I love it, mate. I love it. Oh, it's just fantastic. Your contagious energy. We respect it.

We salute it. We love it. seeing you. And we just thought if we have an opportunity to chat to him. Jackie Hahn. Now we can officially say good friend of the show. Thank you for coming on, Jack. We love you, mate. No worries, mate. And I could put the tricky questions to you, Darko, but we'll save it for another time. We will. We flip the tables. I do do weather from time to time. Game respects game. We'll flip the tables next time, Jack. We've covered the Louvre heist, which has been a remarkable story. But now

the Spaniards are getting involved. Okay. Pablo and his friends. Has someone tried to rob La Sagrada Familia? Oh, what's that? That's a big church in Barcelona. Good on you. Look at that.

Yeah. I thought I was like, is that the Spanish Louvre? That's a big church. I think there's the monuments in there, though. Very stealable. Yes. Well, no, not quite. Okay.

So basically, uh, the, the Louvre highest where they stole, you know, 150 million worth of Napoleon's gear. The Spanians went, hold my beer. Hold my sangria, if you will have a term. Spanish police have. have busted a criminal group dedicated to stealing chairs. Like historical artefact chairs?

No, no, no. Spanish National Police said on Wednesday that they had arrested seven people, six male and one female who saw all in 1,100 chairs from outdoor seating areas, restaurants and bars in Madrid. Sorry, how many chairs?

1,100. All on one night, which is, that's gone in 60 seconds stuff. Okay, the Louvice. Don't get me wrong, Tuck. Very important. Impressive. 150 million. Okay, a couple of people have been arrested. 1,100 chairs on one night.

Do you know how much that would guess, Australian dollar? How much that's equivalent? Of the value. Because they then sold these chairs. I imagine, though, they were varying values. What? A couple hundred bucks. $69,000.

How much is a Spanish chair? The estimated impact of the stolen property is 60,000 euros to $69,000 Australian. Look, I'll be honest with you. I haven't bought a chair in a long while. A long time. I'm out of touch when it comes to chair. Apparently in Madrid, at cafes and bars and restaurants, etc. They just, they don't pack it up because, you know, no, no, yeah.

And they've got a late-night culture. They just leave it out. So they're probably thinking, it's 3 a.m. I'm not packing this up now. Like, you never steal another man's chair. They've always, that's always been the Haast and Fard rule. Past and Hard rule in Spain. But also, to sell, like we've talked about the Louvre Jules being on the black market.

Yeah. Where are you, like, marketplace? Where are you selling 1100 chairs? Exactly. They face charges of theft and belonging to a criminal organization, resolve the chairs in Spain. It doesn't say where they've sold them to. Good on the Spanish police, though. They've cracked the criminal enterprise.

We've got them. Have they recovered the chairs? Chairs are easy to sell off, though, then Napoleon's jewels. You would think. You know what I mean? But a lot more, but I would argue, Ducco, for 150 million of Napoleon's jewels, that could be two of the crowns. So true.

No one's buying 1,100 chairs in one go. I would have thought. That's a lot of drop off and pickups and a lot of, yes, I'll be home between 11 and 3. Do you want to come past and pick it up? We do have an update here from Babbs. Nice chairs at Bunnings. 70 bucks each. Nice chairs.

What's a nice chair, Babs? Yeah, I want to know what Babs. Like an outdoor chair with like some little slats. Oh, you're like a slatty chair? Well, they're the ones. Big slatter. They usually have a restaurant. Yeah.

Is that the kind of chair? Well, I've got no pictures of the chairs. Oh, because you didn't get the marketplace. But I love how the Louvre highest people, two have been caught, two haven't. These guys have been caught. Seven off of them. When you see all those yutes cruising around with the chairs in them, I'm going to pull that guy over

You have to turn in love Jess and Ducko in the morning Jess and Ducko's 10K alpha bucks On hit You have 30 seconds Sent questions also With the same letter Have to take your first answer

Can't use the same answer twice And if you're unsure of the questions Say pass, we come back of course If there is time We are playing for $10,000 Our player today is Takara Good morning Takara Hello, how are you?

Oh, we couldn't be Be better, babe. We are dangling $10,000 in front of you. Are you going to snatch it away from us? Oh, I hope so. Good energy. You normally a good player? Sometimes, but hit and miss, but...

Hopefully today's a hit day. Yes. Yeah, hopefully. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Probably put it towards some house renovations, to be honest. We love renovating. Oh, we know we don't. We need...

We need the money for renovations. We've got to change our mindset. And $10,000. We'll let it go a long way. For your house, Reno, Taccara. Maybe you'd like to look at a new couch. Oh. Also, you'd have something really intricate there.

Yeah. Something from your knowledge recently. C is your letter. C is the letter. Couch was the first thing that came to mind. Trying to choose fabric samples at the moment. Hence why they're top of mind for me. Leather, always.

Oh, baby. Takara, you ready? C. Yes. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter C, we need you to name something round. Circle. A board game.

Cludeau. A male singer. Pass. A phone app. Pass. A reality TV show. Oh, pass. A verb.

Climb. An instrument. Pass. A star sign? A couple. Cool on. A beauty brand. Hmm.

Park. And, fuck you back. Oh, dear. Yeah. Hey, we started well, I thought here we go. I know. I know. We ended up with four.

A male singer, Charlie Puth or Chris Brown. Oh, yeah. A phone app, Candy Crush or Chrome. There's a few. A reality TV show. That's a tough one. A cake boss, celebrity apprentice. Yep.

An instrument. Hello. Chalo. You got a bass. Oh, good. Haven't watched School of Rock recently. A beauty brand, Chanel, or Klink. Clinic.

So close, babe, so close. I was like saying, like, I know beauty brands. Clinkoir. Clinic. You tried to go too French there. Yeah, clinic. What I do. It's my accent.

Look, Takari, you don't get the money, but you get $100 to spend at Hair House. Thank you. You're very well. Good luck with the Rennos and have fun with your great hair. Thank you. You're welcome. We play again inside the house. hour, 45 minutes of time, $10,000.

Oh, that sounds good. Juicy, isn't it? I love that. Yeah. Usually we're waiting an hour and a half. That's nice, isn't it? It is nice. Up next, though.

We have a Melbourne Cup event. We're hosting at the Beach Hotel on Tuesday next week. Jess and I, we were able to bring some plus ones. That's right. We chose Shagga and Babs. Well, they got first dibs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Babs gave us one of the all-time great responses.

I'm washing my hair that day. Truly. I have a hair appointment. Yeah, yeah, great. Which is essentially getting your hair wash. And then even more weird, Shiger said, Yeah, I'll come. Even though Babs rejected us first, I thought he's going to come in and go, nah.

Yeah, me too. But he came in and went, I'll take one of the plus ones. So we needed to find him some partners, and I've got two that are coming. You've got two? I've got two that are coming. You've been able to wrangle another plus one? Yeah, yeah. It's all good.

It's all good. Okay. Jess and Ducko. It's a festive time. Ducco, I'm feeling very excited. So you and I are hosting back again at the Beacho, Telephone. who else to 10. We do the both events downstairs and upstairs.

It's a pleasure to be back. It's always fun. It was great last year. I'm really thrilled they wanted us back. The riffraff downstairs and then the upmarket upstairs. Yeah, but see, even the up market, my God, you get a couple of champagne into you. The fisty cuffs around fashions on the field. There's always that, mate.

It is quite the scene. I love it. Because Shagga's coming, right? This is all about our plus ones this chat. But Shagga's coming. Dreckin, you and I, because we can never decide who wins fashions on the film. No, it's too. It's hard.

And I get nervous about the ladies yelling at all. Let's make him, like, the overarching. So you and me just commentate, the winner is, Shaghan, he has to be like, number three. Oh, my God, because no one would have a go at him. Yeah, no one would have a go at you. Yeah, and also your Teflon. You don't take any of that crap on board,

whereas he and I are too sensitive. I hate it when the old ladies yell at me. Or she shouldn't have won. Oh, God, I'm sorry, Karen. I could make it our next guest that are coming. Because, of course, we know Bab's pulled out. She has a hair appointment. She's washing a hair or whatever.

Shire guy is coming, but we have, you and me up and down. So we need, you know, we need these seats filled. accompaniment. I was close to saying, all right, we'll give you a job. Shut on a wife. But we don't want to do it. I want him to enjoy himself. Yeah, yeah. He's not producing. He's having fun. Exactly. He's off the clock. I get a call from my mum the other day saying,

honey. My parents live in Queensland. Shut. She goes, honey. I was like, yes, mother. And she's like, I, we're thinking your father and I, we're going to drive down to you, make a little road trip and we're going to come to a Melbourne Cup event. Shut! Out of nowhere. And I was like, uh, if you want. As in they're doing a bespoke trip

Just around the Melbourne Cup thing I think what's happened is knowing the psychology of my mother She's seen Morgan's parents here for two weeks with Flo And she's like well I need to come down and see Float I want some time in the house But they just had time with her at your sister's wedding Like that wasn't that long ago Hey, you are my amen

So I was like if you guys want I can see if I can get at the table I messaged Gareth the Beach Hotel He's like absolutely add them to the table Now guys my parents both mum and dad We've got a plus three We've got a postery. Shagai, you're going to love them. You know, they'll have a few drinks.

Have a good time? Yeah, I haven't met them yet. Have you not met them? No, I don't think you would as. Where would you? You know what this opens? Of course, they were just up here, but you know what this opens the door to, Ducco? My parents are probably going to get jealous now.

They'll drive up from Victoria. So maybe I just put in the group chat, hey, guys. Because in Victoria, we know Melbourne Cup is one of the biggest public holidays. They've got the day off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unlike your parents, I'm assuming they've had to rearrange things. Retired. Retired.

Oh, of course. And they're driving the Ute down, my old U, the crew, isn't that day, and in? Are they bringing the caravan? No, they stay at our place. Sure, sure. And then mum's like, how many nights can we stay? You know, one turned into two, which turned into three. Oh, why I just put it out to my mum and dad?

Do we make it a whole thing? All of a sudden, Sharga, is just with all our parents. You've got a plus five. Sharga, I'll assure you, you'll, Chris Allen, the myth, the legend, former current affair reporter. They're both such a vibe. My, where I thought you were coming today, do you? Yeah, yeah.

When you said, hey, I've got not one, but two, I want to run past you. I thought, hang on a minute, he's got a bevy of ladies. He's got a bevy of single, like, we know you've got a couple of friends who are single and on the hunt. I thought you were going to get Hannah and Anna. Your other two wives, I thought you were. And just leave them at the table with shyness. And not have told both of them that you were setting them up. That's what I thought.

That's what I thought this was going to. But I'll take Chris and kick. Trust me, it's probably safer for you. Jess and Ducko This word to my own Wordiochi Here we go Another edition of Wordioki

I have a series of words in front of me Oh yeah, you're the quiz master I'm quiz master We won the last time we played That's right Yeah So winner takes over Winner takes over

So I've worked diligently Geez Here we go To compile some words Ducko v Shy Guy The Babs. Shaggo and I have not won this game in maybe two months. Maybe.

It could be two months. Thank you, Shaggo, for the scoreboard. Yes, and the rule is, well, she who wins takes over. That's pretty much the rule that we're going on with. It's just been me and Babs swapping, but that's fine. Yeah. It's a new week. Bab's how you're feeling?

Yeah, good. All right, let's rip in. Maybe not. First word, ladies and gentlemen. Yes. Give. Give. Oh, that's gives.

Give me. Give me everything. tonight. Back. I want everything to... Oh, yes. He just headline Bloody Friday's live. Yes.

You literally don't say anything? No. Okay, good. I feel like... I was going to go gives you hell, but then I realized I was yes. Yeah, I had the... You've got the music in you don't.

But I don't know if that actually said. Does it? I thought Babbs might pull out a bit. Rick Astley from her back pocket. I also, yeah. But Pitbull, got you on the board, ducker. Here we go. Cost.

Cost. Love don't cast a thing. I'm just going to, in my head, give you an extra point because you did J-Lo, well done. You hear the shy guy just coming in so half-hearted because our confidence is so low for this game right now. There's no fuel in the tank. We don't know if we're right even when we're right.

But maybe this will make you feel good and inspire you babes. Ducco on one, shy guy on one, Babs on Zilch. Come on, sis. Here we go. It's Halloween tomorrow, guys. So let's get a bit spooky. Monster. I'm friends with the monster.

Yes. Okay, we're all on the board. It's Even Stevens. This is where it gets a bit nerve-wracking, you know? I'm going to stay in Halloween. Okay. Boo. Oh, boo.

You have my little boo there. Yeah. Oh, I haven't heard that in a while. No, that was a, that was exhausted. Okay. Yes. Shy guy on two, Babs and Duck. on one. I think I'm going to call it.

If shy guy gets this, it's over. It's a game. So, Daco and Babs, to stay in it. All right, okay. Strong. Work it harder. Make it better. Do it faster. It makes us stronger. Damn it. Strong.

Strong. Strong. Strong. I think it's stronger in my head. Me too. Drop the ear. Strong. Come on, there's a couple biggies. I'm strong. Oh, you had. I know.

I'm thinking like... Yay, that's cheating. Strong. I am strong. I am... Come on. I am strong. I am invincible.

What was it? I am beautiful. Yeah, but I wasn't really getting that from you guys. Because I'm strong enough to live without you. Or two strong hearts. Oh, that's true. We stick to get... Wow.

Got to play the player. Reset. I did with J-Lo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reset. Again, if Shy Guy gets this, it's over. Here we go. Ducco and Babs to stay in the game.

Lips. My lips are sealed. Oh, you didn't give more than that. Yeah, we need more than that. Yeah. She talked about us telling lies. There you go. That's not so guys.

Ducco, I'm sorry. You're done, brother. You started so well, team. Shy guy to knock the queen. off their perch. This is between the two of you. Come on, Shy Lord. Come on.

Come on, baby. Let's go. Do we want Babsosos in three weeks? Let's find out. Fate. Oh, come on. The fate of fear. No.

She's a swift dear. That was the one I would have gone. It's the biggest song of the moment. Well done. Thank you. Jess and Ducko. Proud. I love this. Get involved in the text line.

048-8-1-069. We are going to decide if a topic ducko gives us. Is something to be proud of? Yep. Or if we can brand it as pov-o. We welcome your text on this. I text them in nice and fast. My first one, I'm staunch about this.

I think it'll be split in the room. Ice in wine. Do I need? Do I need it to tell you? But you think it's povo. It is. I can't do it. It's so pov-er.

Yeah, because you and me a wine snobbs now. In our 30s, we've come to a level of expectation without grapes. Totally. These two young ones, I don't know which way it's going to go. I saw my in-laws do it the other day, and I went, what are you doing? You're ruining your chardonnate. It's chilled already. No, I want it colder.

Well, you should have put it in the fridge longer. Proud. Yeah, I thought you'd be proud. And as a non-wine drinker, Shadda, can you make? My mom does it. That's pretty pov. Yeah. Oh, you reckon it's pov.

Yeah, it's pov. Yeah. Sorry, Sharon knows. A few texts rolling as well 08-8-106-9 All saying povo Povo, don't do it I mean I can see you doing it as a

You're 24 Yeah Yeah So I can see you know When you maybe get to late 20s You won't do it Oh In saying that

I don't even go so far Ducco And even wine makers make this purposefully But a chilled red I think is Pov Oh I don't do it with red I don't mind a chill red Not with ice

I don't mind a chill red If it's a hot summer's night At a restaurant A chill red but Red is room temp White You know what I'm saying. Julie, Julie, having a moment.

Yes. What about this one? Dogs sleeping on the bed. Oh. I'm proud. That's proud. You're proud of that? Some people are very passionate about dogs on couches, dogs on bed.

Obviously, my household, Pam runs it, so it's proud for me. Yeah, I think I have to say povo, because we don't allow it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Even the way, yeah, I think I'm going pavo. But you, but you only sleeps on the bed? No. He will come up on the bed for a cuddle and then we dismiss him.

Where sometimes you say, like, you leave and he's on the bed. I'll have Abe. Oh, see, I've gone overnights now. Yeah. For a nap, I'm happy to do it. Yeah. But as a family. I thought you did overnight sometimes.

No, because Angus, there's no room. And because he's so heavy, you can't then readjust your sheet, you do not. I'm sometimes you told a story about either Angus leaving the bed or he's on there or you'd leave and Johnny would get on there. Yeah, but then we get him off again. So he can come on for a cuddle. Right. But overnight, no, he just takes up too much space and he's too heavy. See, I'm proud with that.

I'm proud with that. I'm, so you're proud of. I have a big thing about, like, germs, yeah. Interesting. Got the ick. Yeah. What else got? We got proud.

We got proud. Someone just having a cracket. Proud on, like, Queensland. Something like that. It's pretty split. I don't know where to land on that one. Yeah. Yeah, we'll go.

And the last one, hoarding plastic shopping bags. So, you know, you get, it's where you get them now, but there isn't. need for a plastic shopping bag. Like we've got under our laundry sink is a bag full of shopping bags. You still get him in takeaways. You notice. Like when I get my Indian Thai shop, Indian. Yeah, yeah. You use that. You put it under because you never know when you need

a plastic bag. I went to a party shop the other day and I felt so gross when she put all my stuff in a plastic. I wasn't expecting to buy that much. I think I've got to go pavo. Pavo. O4-88-106. I'm proud on that because you never know when you need the plastic bags. Yeah, this is what you're big though. You want that right

size. What's the last thing you put in a plastic bag? You're wet swimmers or something. I'm swimming lessons. Swimming lessons. If I forget to bring you're not going to be surprised, I bought a special wet bag. Yeah. See, I don't want to do that. When you forget that, you kind of go, well, this would come in handy. Babs? We keep all our bags at home.

Yeah, you got a full. You've got a bag full of the bags. Yeah, we've got a cupboard full bags. I found myself throwing away. You know, the 25 centre paper bags? I would put them in the bin. I go, what am I doing? I literally just bought these. I'm putting it in the bin. So now I've started keeping those.

Yeah. So it's a... It's a fine line. But also, you're right. I don't need them for much. Yes. But when you do need it... Nothing else will suffice.

Or someone comes to house and goes, hey, do you have a thing for your plastic bags. And you go, actually, yeah, I do. I've got the bag full of bags. Bag. A few techs rolling in. Unanimously. Proud.

Proud. Proud. Lots of people saying proud for the bags. Very divisive ones today, ducco. Hey, man, you know, that's what we're doing, Proud or Pov. Amen. Some conversation starters. No great.

areas. No sitting on the fence. Jess and Ducko. I was blown out of my socks last night, Ducko. Something happened in my kitchen that I've never witnessed before and I thought I've got to quickly tell you and educate, I think, the wider population because, I mean, I've been cooking for, what, since I left home, let's say 25 up until that point. You know, that was my mum's time, mate. So I feel like I've seen and done a lot.

But my husband did something with a lamb shoulder the other night that I've never seen before. And he went, what do you mean you haven't done it like this? Nothing to do with the preparation, but with the clean-up. And maybe because we're an apartment now and the kitchen's very open plan, you can't not see what's going on with clean-up. If you cook a leg of a lamb in your house or a lamb shoulder every so often, no, it's not in your repertoire. I love eating them, but I always just get them at restaurants.

Never cook them at home. Fair enough. It is a nice, indulgent thing to order out. Angus is really good at it. But I watched him, the big pan, the big baking dish he used, obviously captures all the juice, all the oil, all the excess. I, when I clean up, because if he cooks, I clean. For some reason, he did the cooking and the cleaning this night. What a guy.

What a guy. And I still complain about him. I would just tip all that in the sink, yeah, and start washing up. Yeah. He got a Ziplock bag, propped it up on the bench. like sort of opened it up to the best of his ability, poured all the oil into the Ziplock bag to then put that in the bin.

Oh, so then the bin didn't get smelly or stinky. Well, more so he's going, you can't be pouring that down the sink. Oh, he's asking for trouble. He goes, you've got to save the sink. Please don't tell me. Save the pipes. We've been together for eight years.

He goes, please don't tell me for eight years. You've been pouring lamb juice. I would. And I went, of course I would. Of course I would. I feel like it's the equivalent of when I drain past. So you're just putting a hot thing down the pipes? Is it because now the gunky and the juice, it, like, it builds up?

He's trying to say it'll sit in the U-Bend or whatever, and that's where you're asking for bug, for blockage, for smells. Look at him, just keeping the pipes clean. Keeping the pipes clean. I went, I feel ignorant. I mean, look, I don't often make those at home, but I would just put it down the sink. So would I. Everything goes down that thing.

There is not much. I won't just put in the sink. And then, yeah, the catch a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the gunk that actually can't go down a pipe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the compost, whatever. That's interesting.

Blew my mind. So he's always done that. You've just never noticed. Never noticed. And also, the dexterity and coordination to open the Ziploc bag to then be able to get it in. I would feel like my bag would just be going everywhere. I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm like, how are you doing there?

They're not that stable. No, they're not. It's a two-person job. That's a holder and a poorer. He's never called me over. Yeah. And I just couldn't believe it. I went, well, there you go.

We're still surprising each other eight years into this relationship. I was so chuffed. Nothing would turn you on more than that. Like that's, you're like, oh my God. My husband, with the pouring in the Ziplock bag. He really enjoyed my pasta break last night. So I went into in depth about how I did the tomato sauce. And yes, now vice versa.

When I see him do stuff like that, I go, this is how we get our rocks off. Yeah, this is marriage. I don't know how you and Morgan surprise and delight each other. This is the way we're doing it in our relationship. You better believe it, 30 seconds, 10 questions. All started with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't you use the same answer twice?

And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass. We come back, of course, if there's time. We're playing for $10,000 our playoff today. Hey, yo, we got Nikki. Hi, how are you guys? Nicky! We are great. Are you ready to take $10,000 out from underneath Shy Guy?

I really hope so. I've got a very, very anxious seven-year-old sitting beside me, and I think she's going to probably refuse to go to school if I lose. So let's hope I win. Well, I mean, if you win... Hello. Hello. Hello.

This is Zoe. Hi, Zoe. Well, I imagine, Nikki, if you win, Zoe's also going to want to take the day off to celebrate with mum. Well, that's true. So either way, it's a lose for me. And I win for Zoe. What do you want to spend the money on?

We're going to the United Kingdom for Christmas. It'll be very helpful for that. Yes. Well, Nikki, maybe a hop-skipp and a jump or a ferry ride to Wales. Oh, okay. We're going to Wales. Oh, you're not going to Wales. Okay, very good.

Keep up. Babe, you let us double you for whales. Yes. Okay. Wales, come on. How good is this? It's a great home. If mum doesn't get this, I tell you what.

I reckon we cancelled the whole trip. I agree. Christmas is ruined. Nikki, no pressure. Your time. Your time. You'll start after the first. question. Are you ready? Yes. Starting with letter W. We need you to name. A sweet

food. Uh, weather's mix. A beverage. Water. An occupation. Pass. A singer. Pass. An international city. Wellington. A flower. Wisteria. A reality TV show. Pass. A body part. Wrist. A verb. Walking.

A home appliance brand. Westinghouse. An occupation. Oh. Oh. You're a good player. You got through all 10, which shows a good player depth. Mm-hmm.

However, you got seven. Damn, just three passes. Three passes. An occupation. Waiter. A welder. A singer could have been Whitney Houston or Wiz Khalifa, even Will Smith. And then the only other one you missed, a reality TV show,

One of our favorites, Wife Swamp. Oh, we love Wife Swamp. Oh, one of the old school ones, Weipow. I loved Wipeout as well. That's a tough one. Oh, Nikki. Nikki, we're so sorry. You've got to cancel Christmas.

Yeah, that's... Sorry, we're not going to overseas anymore. Sorry, Zoe. Or actually, Zoe, you get $100 at a hair house. Ooh, okay. What's that? You'll love it. I'll tell you soon.

You'll love it. You'll tell you soon. Be quiet. Mummy's on the radio. Nicky, Zoe, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you very much for joining the show. Thank you guys. Bye, Zoe.

Bye, Zoe. Bye, gosh. You can just hear the disappointment. Yeah, I don't like you guys anymore. Or my mom. I'm living in a prison. Up next, though, got a bit of fun. How could you not get a wipe swap, mom?

Jess and Ducco. 13, 1060. Make me feel maybe a touch better about myself and my parenting. I'm a good parent but. Dot, dot, dot. I love this. Let's just keep it real, brother. Do we need to go in the tent for this?

Do you want to get honest and create the safe space? Let me just, hold on. Let me just find the, um... Please do. Oh, jeez, what is that? Babs. We've asked you to leave it a jar to air it out after you've been in here. Who's that guy?

Can we get rid of him? Is that Pablo? Can we get Pablo out of there? God, that is just let me get that. Oh, that's... Thank you. It's meant to be a safe place, Jaco, not a traumatic place. Yeah, Babs.

Why Shaggot already in here? Shagga, what are you doing in here? Just hanging. Yeah. Oh, you're talking to Babs about cruises because you're about to go on one. Yeah, yeah. he's got a bag of Twix Pods. He's just settled in for the afternoon.

Anyway, sit with us in our therapy tent. What's going on, Ducco? So Flo, my daughter, six months old, she is teething. I've said this a little few times on air. We now can see the teeth rolling through. Okay, that can see the eruption. The eruption.

Now, for those that don't have kids or don't care, fair enough, teething basically means. If you got an 18-year-old, you might be like, when was that? Nor what I have cared six months ago, I'll be frank. but teething just means that they are grumpy and upset and disgruntled because they've got teeth coming through and they're in pain, right? Spare a minute for the teething babies.

Can we have some empathy? There's not enough done about the teething babies, actually. Yeah, I'm starting. I'm an advocate. And any woman still breastfeeding around a teething baby because that is pain. That's when you know you've got to jump off that boob, you know? That's when you start looking at your options. That when they can say mummy bitty.

That's when you're like, all right. Enough. I had a woman once say, oh, my kid's taking chunks out of my nipple. I went, well, stop doing it. 16, but it's fine, right? Spare a thought. Spare thought. Let's have some empathy. So we've now since discovered the neurophina panadol train.

Flo'd never had neurofin and panadol before, and we've been sort of trying to get her to sleep using bongela, teething gum, which will sort of help, but she was very upset and crying, and she's normally a great sleeper. So we're sort of going, what's going on? You know, what's how do I factory reset this? Absolutely. Where's the switch? What do I do? Pushing the teeth back into the garment.

No, no, no. So Nurephine and Panadol, and then all of a sudden, The best night's sleep. And, you know, one night leads into two nights, which leads into three nights, which leads you to going, geez, I'm a bit of a fan of the Nurephan sleep. Well, it's effective. I mean, I wouldn't. I'm not saying we're addicted, but I'm saying, geez, it's a great sleep.

And this isn't even spawn con. No, it's not. This is just you saying it's helping the baby, which is helping the whole family. Every parent I talk to is like, yep, and you double that up. You got pound it all over than two hours in the hour. Neuriphon, bang, jab him in, jab him in, get it going. You don't want them to be in pain. Exactly, Jess.

Why would you want to be in pain? No one wants to be in pain. Ladies is how I don't want the epidural. I want to feel the pain. Why would you want to feel the pain? And then she sleeps and life is good, you know? I'm a good parent, but. Last night, Mommy had some ureferant too because she had some pain.

It was like the whole family was having some urefer. She teething as well. Oh, goodness. So 13, 1060, I'm a good parent, but, like, do you love a little bit of a nearer sleep every now and then? You're not alone? Yeah. I'm a good parent.

Yeah. Pardon me for having an eager. I'm a great parent. Yeah, great. But my kid wants four books a night, Ducko. Oh, that's too many books. And they're always trash. Well, I found some goodies, I'll be honest.

But even me reading the Gruffalo for the 25th time. Get over it. I could recite it now off by heart. So by the fourth book, I'm skipping pages. Oh, you start. How good is that? I start. We're just rushing it?

It once was a mouse in the deep dark wood. The mouse saw a nut and the nut look good. And then all of a sudden, oh, the owls here. All of a sudden, the Gruffalo's left. The end Does she notice yet? Is she the age where she can pick up? And it's funny because I'm trying to be so sly

With how I like thumb the pages I'm like have I grabbed four I think I've grabbed four But yesterday, last night They literally slipped out of my hand And I'm scared of a two-year-old I literally was like Glancing at her, I'm like

Oh my gosh, she's going to yell at me And I swear she gave me side-eye But by the fourth book she is dreary So I don't think she had the energy to yell me I would never try it on the first book Oh, okay, so you've got to ease into that. You've got to ease into it. You've got to get them calm and loud.

And then you can start skipping, yeah. There's only so many times you can read what the growlows up to. The day she goes, wait a minute, you skip the snake. I'll be like, ah, crap, she's caught. She's on to me. She's gone to sleep. There's some murophant. Yeah, see, that's it.

I'm a great parent. You're just giving some pages. But, they don't need to know. Dot, dot, dot. The riskyer, the better. Hit us up. This is a safe space. Jump into the therapy tent.

That's right. We've kicked babes out. We've aired it out. Yeah, we've added out. Smells all right, now. It's okay. 13, 10, 60. I'm a good parent, but...

Jess and ducco. We're not saying that we're bad parents. No, in fact, we're saying we're good. We're good parents. But you're going to do what you're going to do to get by. Amen, we're in charge. But in Urfan and Panolol at bedtime, never heard anybody, you know? Skipping a couple of pages in the storybook.

She's heard the story. She gets it. You're doing all the character voices. Great story arc. I'm exhausted. Yeah, yeah, you can't work any harder. She's not appreciating your gruffalo voice. How dare she?

Do a hell of a gruffalo voice. Lydia texts through, do you like this one. I'm going to use this. She said, I'm a good parent, but my daughter loves the Wiggles. She's only human. And when she asks for them at night time, we tell her, ah, they've gone to bed. Simply because we don't want to watch the Wiggles for the 4,000th time that day.

Totally. I like that. They've gone to bed, so you need to as well. Yes. That's nice. Just like Big Dog. You've all. We've got to go to bed.

See you later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know who'll be here in the morning? The wiggles. The wiggles. But you know how we'll see them faster? Close your frickin' eyes. If we go to sleep.

I like that a lot. Amanda said her husband went to the tip. And while she was at the tip, she threw out all the toys that they didn't need. Oh my God. Clutter, man. Clutter, get rid of. But then the kids came home and asking where the toy is.

Specific toy. One of the polar bears that he really loved was left out in the rain. And now it looks like the polar bears been electrocuted. So they say, well, he just wanted to get back to the North Pole. He's been outside. He's actually trying to run away from you. Let's give the kid a complex. I think he's trying to escape.

Ellie, good morning. Morning. Finish that sentence for us, It's a safe space. We're in the therapy tent. I'm a good parent, but... I'm a great parent, but I love quiet time in the evening,

so I love sleep in the morning when I can. And these sleep clocks from Kmart or baby budget or whatever are genius. Because when we have the clocks change, daylight saving, either start or end. The kids either go to bed an hour earlier or they stay in bed an hour later

because red is bed and green as you can get up. And because they can't read the time yet, they have no clue. Yes, you can manipulate the clock. I've heard of those. Yes. And they obviously respect the clock enough that they go, okay, nah, it's red,

I've got to stay here. Yeah, you get about a week of it and then they go, and the sun's up. Oh, they're going, but that's a hell of a week. A week is a great time. That's months and kid years. That's brilliant. We go to Aaron on 13, 1060.

Aaron, you're a good parent, but... So when my stepson was younger, and he was always getting tired and grumpy, I'd change the Netflix language to Spanish so that way he couldn't understand it. And he's like, I can't understand it. And I was like, yeah, but it's because you're tired. So, like, so when you go to bed and have a sleep,

and by the time you come back, it should like, should be back to normal. And then, long behold, he'd go have a nap, he'd come back, and it's back to English. Oh, that is, that is actually incredible. Oh, my God. Parenting hack of the year. I would just need to work out how to change the language. And then it's in Spanish.

You're like, how do I, where's English? Actually, yeah. How do I change your back? Jess and Ducko. Babs, she set us a challenge last night, Ducko. I do enjoy when we get these. So do I. I could do without the dance ones.

The physical challenges sometimes seem impossible. But this one, a test of our relationships, was very doable. And we have both come with evidence of it today. It's called the bird theory. Now, this is where it's oftentimes a woman is recording secretly, either audio or visually, telling her partner saw a bird today and gauging their reaction, posting it on the internet for the internet to judge. It meant to be something mundane. So you don't have to use bird, but it's got to be something so kind of pointless that you bring up to them that your partner then has to react in one of three ways.

Exactly. And relationship experts have weighed in on this and said, this is a classic test of a relationship. It's called a bid for connection. So whether it's bird, whether it's frog, whether it is something mundane, it's not a question where you're actively opening conversation. It's just had something to tell you today, had something I wanted to share. And they can either turn towards, positively engage in the conversation you started, turn away from, literally, ignoring or dismissing what you've just said, or turn against. And that's almost a negative, angry response. Yes. If you're getting a turn against, that's an immediate reply. If you're getting a turn away from, this is the beige flag where we go, oh, could have done better there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And obviously, we all want the turn towards where it doesn't matter what you bring to your partner, they are so invested, they're so engaged. And there are a few examples of that on TikTok. But you did it to Morgan last night. I did it to Angus. Would you like to hear Angus's? Now, as I say to you, Daco, this went exactly how I thought it would. Oh, my God, I forgot to tell you, I saw the coolest bird today.

What? I just, I saw a cool bird. Yeah. I was driving home. Okay. What type of bird? I actually don't know. It's funny for how many bird books Lucia has.

I don't think it's been in one, like it was on a brologer. Lechia, did you see a bird today? Yeah. No, she wasn't. She wasn't with me. It was just... Was it as cool as mum says? It was cool.

Sorry, I thought you'd... I don't know. She's like you care. Is this a bit? No. He immediately gets his back up, which I thought he might go that way. But just the...

Why are you telling you energy? He didn't dismiss you. It's just like, oh, okay. And he actually did. And maybe I led the witness there because I said it was a cool bird. Yeah. I think the test accurately would just be

I saw a bird. So we're even trying to lead the witness. I would have asked 500 more questions if the roles were reversed. It's funny. So I was very conscious of Morgan not knowing I was recording. So I tried to make mine super casual. I've got the phone down. So apologies if she's a little bit hard to hear.

She did not know we were recording at all. Oh, smart. See, maybe I'm not subtle enough. It's in the last wake window of Flo's day. Oh, it's busy time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here we go, here we go. I'm going to tell you as well, I saw this really cool bird today.

like a it was like a colourful it was like an eagle but it was so colourful could be in a bird book could be in a bird book yeah it was like I saw it when I was on

my run with Pam I got to like I like stopped and I was like that's one of the coolest birds I've ever seen you know what I mean you just see like a cool bird you know what I mean

It's a good baby Yeah You're proud of me Mm-hmm She goes That's good baby Yeah Was it one of the bird from Flo's bird book?

A Morgan and Angus cut from the same cloth? You can hear the... Funny, they brought up the bird books. But just that... Okay. But obviously, like, just let them talk, let them get it out. And you and I, classic, just fill the silent. It was an eagle.

A colourful eagle. I'll get you on board. I'll get you on freaking board with my bird sighting. Babs, I want to hear you do this to Jethro, okay? I want to hear like an update to it, because I've never heard you try and do anything to him on air. All right, I'll try. How do you reckon?

Turn towards, turn away from or turn against? Probably against. Jess and Ducco. Jeez, Halloween Eve, team. Why am I doing it? We've got a ghost in studio. Oh, yeah. We always love our in studio ghost.

Ooh. Oh, he's getting better, too. He's flirty, isn't he? He's a bit naughty. Oh, you know why he's floated? Because our in studio ghost is going on a swingers cruise tomorrow. How ghoulish. Someone's Friday right now.

Sure goes not going to be here tomorrow. He's got a family cruise. I will be missed, I know. Oh, greatly so. But I can't wait to see the costumes and the hijinks you and the family get up to on your cruise. I've already said to the family in the group chat, no costume. Oh, come on, mate.

If you're going on it, some pineapple things at least. When you were, I think you're making your porridge before, Ducco. Shiger goes, oh, I said, what are you looking up? He goes, do I get a massa? Yeah, absolutely you do. He's Googled the spa, but then he got the website up and went, oh, that just looks germ-infested to me. It looks a bit fessing.

This is the same. A beautiful picture of a sanctuary spot. He went, that looks stupid to me. This is the same ship Babbs went on, isn't it? Yes, we worked that out. She's more excited than me. I wonder if you'll be where she was in the bowels of the ship somewhere. I doubt it.

You're the Jack Dawson. I'm on deck nine, man. Unobstructed view. Do you have a porthole? No, I have a balcony. Oh, all right. Did not slum. Did daddy pay for this?

No, I paid. How much is it? I don't even know. Too much. What's a, give me, poor park? $1,400. For three nights. Three nights.

And that includes food, drink or anything? I think so. Well, I think, Babs, how does it work? Some restaurants paid and some are included? Yeah, some are included and some are not. Yep. There you go. Okay.

But drinks, some are included, some or not? Did you get a drinks package? No, he doesn't. They didn't have any. And then you have to pay for your drinks. Because he didn't get the drinks package, could he have a free massage? Oh, there you go. No, you've got to pay for the massage.

And is it one of those things you put it on your room, then you get the bill at the end and you just don't realize it? They give you a card, don't they? Like a credit card. Yeah, you get it like a credit card. You're rich for three days, baby. Oh, I love that. I'm in debt for three days. No, no, no, you're rich.

Live your bed. You're in international waters. There's no rules. Ain't no rules. I don't think we go that far out. Are you still? Australia. What is does go?

I don't know. Did yours just went out and came back to into Babs? No. No, Babs went to. Oh, you went up to Vanuardt. She's so insulted. Yeah. Yeah.

I had like four stops. Did you? Oh, my God. Was it good to get off the boat or? Stretch your legs? Yes, it was. Did you have your sea legs once you got to the jetty? We're like, whoa.

I had the sea legs for like three days after. Yeah. Shiger, you might get easy. Have you got some tablets? Yeah, I bought some of the calming stuff. Yeah, calming stuff. It's just to help me sleep. Mate, I got some stuffy.

Don't worry about it. Stuff he gives Pam. Yeah, yeah. Trust me, I got some good stuff. So that means no shy guy, Babs his boss. I'm jealous. I wish I was going to three-day piss up. You want to take the day off?

Yeah, can I? Can I come with your family? No, this is good. Shy guy's going to go on this cruise. He's going to mose. On up to the captain, he's going to get us sponsored to come on the ship as a team and broadcast from international waters. So he's going to be out, you know, the olive branch.

We do need to do a team, a team cruise, I feel. I just feel it has to happen now. Well, Batch has been a great spokesperson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe you're not been sponsored by one of them yet. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Soon, you know.

Hi, I'm bad. You know, to the 15 people on your close friends, you could really make some impact. It's not a duck or right, but you could probably guess that. How funny is it, Charga? That's what you put up? Yeah, yeah. Oh, what the, what just happened? What just happened?

I don't like that. I don't like that at all. What just happened was lame. They just high-fived and there was the most square and good. So I got a gang-up-in-bad, we never do that. We're always getting high-fibed. Yeah, but this was different. I don't know why.

It just hit different. He is already in holiday mode. Yeah. We always... I love this. I love this look on you. You want a high-five? You want a high-five?

I was like what I'm hearing. Why, I just feel a bit left out. May, you have, oh, I always do good gear for you. You want to never get a high-fi. No, we're too far away as well. Yeah, that's true. The world's biggest desk between us. You'll get your high-five one day, don't worry.

I just don't know if that line justified a high-five, Bab. Hey, hey, don't question the high-five. Don't make us do it again. Fifteen close friends. That's funny. Yeah, please don't high-five again. Let's double down in it, Shaggo. Tell me all the ways.

You enjoyed it. Anyway, well, you enjoy you, Chris. You keep doing gear, Duck, you've got a high-five. I'll just keep working over time over here. You just keep grinding. Got no one to go no one to high five on my side. No, no, I spend the day with Babs. It's going to hate me all day, though.

Yeah, well, and I hate you. Bad's running and high five, come on. Yeah, come and give me a high five. Run. Yeah. Oh, this would be fun. Here we go. Okay.

Not forced at all. Got to be a good high five. Drop the beds. She couldn't come in any slower. Any slower. There we go. Tired her shoes. Ah, yeah.

She had the one-legged pop. It was very sweet. Oh, just that high-five happened so organically in the moment. I'm just, I know why I just win this. No, it feels too curated now. It's just like the weirdest. He's never presented. He's parked to me.

No, we've high-fired once before. I've never seen that happen. I remember it. I remember getting up in your grill. Anyway. That was a whole other thing. You enjoy your cruise? Thank you.

Perhaps, yeah, your boss. Your boss tomorrow. I'm the captain now. Yes, you are. We've got Friday bangers. Shagas disqualify. Producer Shorts will be here. He'll be taking my place for bangers.

Oh, so he gets a bang out. Okay, great. Shorts is on the phones. What have we got tomorrow? Babs, what else we got? We've got the diary. that will still happen. Yep.

Are we threesome? I'll do my job for now there. Oh, yeah. Are you got a threesome? I guess. What's a threesome? Or do the shorts, do it, and Babs competes. Oh, that'd be interesting.

This might be an off-air conversation. It's a lot of tomorrow morning, I feel. It really could be. No, high-five for that. If you missed any of the show, go check it out. On Pah, on Listener of a podcast. Jack Hahn joined us. Oh, great chats.

Good friend of the show. I think we got in three more followers. We're out of here. We will. See you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. I was today years old when I realized what I've been missing. What's that?

You. Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas.