Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | B M L T Baby!

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Ducko reveals something Morgan said reguarding their little one, Jess's husband chose cleaning the house over spending time with her yesterday and we play a round of Wordie-Okie!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Welcome to the podcast everybody. Okay Ducco, I found a game I wanted to play with you. Okay. I'm sorry Shy Guy and Babs, you can maybe play your own round next. But we play a few games on the show where we're trying to jinx or say the same. Yes.

This was a game I just saw one little random creator. You can't say the same thing as him. So the idea is to think really obscurely, to not jinx. So he did categories around Harry Potter, which is why it made me think of you because you're a big fan. Right. So I'm going to give you a specific question from Harry Potter. Then we're going to go three, two, one, and we have to say different things.

Different things. Exactly. So, for example, I guess it's like the opposite of, it's like Scattergories, you know, where the idea is if you've said the same thing as someone, you don't get the points. But if you've said something really obscure and I say something really obscure, we're in the clear. Okay. So we can't say the same thing.

Got to think left of center. Yep. So the first one was name any character. Name any character from Harry Potter, but try and think what I wouldn't say. If we say the same, we're both out. Three, two, one. Peace. Luna Lovegood.

I was nearly going to say Luna Lovegood. Like I was about to say it. Well, we're good. Okay. Because you didn't say it. Okay. So you need to say, yeah, right. Different.

Round two. Okay. So you need to say, yeah, right. Different. Round two. Okay. Any spell from Harry Potter. Oh, okay. Three, two, one. It's not December. Oh. We're in the clear.

Thank you. We're in the clear. Ridiculous. I like that scene where he makes the moon the balloon. Yeah. Any magical creature. You good? Three, two, one.

Elf. Fuck, beak. We're doing very well here. We're doing very well. Okay. This one might be hard because there's only six. Okay. Any of the books.

Six? Seven. There's only a few. Do you know my favourite? No, you don't. Do you remember it? I've said it. I think I do.

Oh, crap. But now I'm not conscious of it. It's just my favourite? No, you don't. Do you remember it? I think I do. Oh, crap. But now I'm not conscious of it. It's just in my brain. Okay. All right. Three, two, one. Half-Blood Prince. Chamber of Secrets.

Yes, Chamber of Secrets is my favourite. Oh, that's what was in my head. Good pivot. All right. It's my favourite because it's still youthful, but I'm starting to get a bit dark. Getting a bit dark. A bit adulthood.

A bit adult themed. All right, for a clean run. Okay. This is hard. Any competitor in the Triwizard tournament that year. There's only four to choose from. So could we do this or are we going to fall at the last hurdle? Three, two, one.

Harry Potter. Floor Delica. I was going to say Victor Crumb by the way. Crumb. Crumb. Anyway, I thought that was a bit of fun. It Crumb, by the way. Crumb. Crumb. Anyway, I thought that was a bit of fun. It's hard to get the wrong answer. There were so many of those where I knew what you were going to say.

Totally. Because how easy to have said Harry Potter. You need a good theme, though. You do. It's hard. Something broad enough that you can drill down on. But anyway, I just really had fun with this little guy on TikTok. I went, I want to play with my buddy.

It was fun. I thought it was fun too. I want Babs and Shy Guy to play, but I don't have anything that we could... Yeah, I didn't prepare another one. I don't know Harry Potter well enough. I wonder if we could do... I don't know what else you could do it on. Just movie world, maybe the movie world, the genre of movies.

Is that too broad? It could be. It's very broad. You need to niche it a little bit, don't you? Yeah. I mean, Babs reads the fairy porn, but Shy Guy doesn't. I don't think we're going to find anything he needs to have in common. Shy Guy likes the hentai animated porn. Billy doesn't.

Spotlight Isles, can we go on to? Oh, yeah. I don't really go to Spotlight. What about arts and crafts? Arts and crafts. No. Okay. Do you two have anything in common?

Yeah. Oh, what was that? What were you going to say? I was going to say, we like to go to the cafe. It's not a hobby. What about things around a cafe or food or eating or something? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Let's just try. Let's just try. Okay. Name a hot drink. Three, two, one. Chai latte. Ooh. All right.

All right. Good job. Good job. Name a smoothie flavor. Three, two, one. Chai latte. Ooh. All right, all right. Good job. Good job. Name a smoothie flavor. Three, two, one. Banana. Cookies and cream. Ew.

Cookies and cream. I like the cookies and cream. And that's well done. It kept you in the game. Name a breakfast food. Oh, yeah. Three, two, one. Eggs.

Cornflakes. Well done, guys. Okay. The best thing to have on toast. Three, two, one. Nutella. Okay, for a clean sweep. Something else on the cafe.

We're running out of cafe questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think of something else we can have. Okay, I know it's adjacent to something you don't drink, but I think you know enough. Okay, go on. A country that grows coffee beans. Three, two, one. Brazil. Do they grows coffee beans. Three, two, one.

Brazil. Do they grow coffee beans? That's not a country. Oh, is it? Oh, oops. Oops-ish. I mean, I guess you technically said different things. Barcelona.

Barcelona. What about this? What about this? Spain, maybe? What about this? A type of coffee. Three, two, one. Latte.

Oh! At the final hurdle. Fell down. I thought you were going to go flat white. I was going to go cappuccino. Oh, that's so common. You both went latte. I thought, yeah, they're all common.

I did see another fun game. I don't know if we could steal it or not. Okay. As long as we credit it, it's not stealing. Okay, well, the Hot Nights, Nick Kelly and Lauren Barry, they played this last night. Oh, I saw that actually. So you as we credit it, it's not stealing. Okay, well, the Hot Nights, Nick Kelly and Lauren Barry, they played this last night. Oh, I saw that, actually. So you say a song title, and then the next person has to say a song title

starting with the same letter of the last. So let me just give it a... Here we go, explaining. I'll try and do it with you. Okay, give us an example. Yeah, so I'll say Backstreet Boys. Well, that's a band. It doesn't matter, an artist. So then I'd have to think of something that starts with an example. So I'll say Backstreet Boys. Well, that's a band. It doesn't matter.

An artist. So then I'd have to think of something that starts with an S. So an artist or a band that starts with S. So you could do

Shania Twain. The last letter. Okay, first to last. So Shania Twain, you've got to do an N artist. Oh, Nelly. Yeah.

Oh, I fucked you there with a Y. Yoko. Yoko Ono. Yeah, it works. fucked you there with a Y. Yeah, you're going to go with Y. Yoko. Yoko Ono. Yeah, it works. Does she sing? Yeah, she does. Yoko Ono.

I've got to do an O. Yes. Oh, God. Oh, come on. I know one. We play Alphabox enough. Come on. They're a boy band together.

Brothers. One Direction. I'll sing Oasis, but sure. Neo. Ooh. Another O. Another O. Crap. Oh, another O. Another O, crap. Oh, Olly Murs. Oh, Jesus.

S, S, S, S. Silverchair. Nice. Rascal Flats. That's what I thought of too. That's so random. That's what we should have done for their category. Blackscale Flats. And you're back to S.

You're S again. Don't screw me here, Babs. It's not up. S. And it's the idea if you can't do it, you're out. If you can't do it, you're out. What's her name? Sade.

Sade. Who? It's a S-A-D-E. Yeah, Simple Plan. Oh, yeah, true. Shit. Do you want to go Simple Plan? Sure.

You love Simple Plan. Which one are you locking in? Simple Plan. Another N. Nelly Furtado. Oh, yeah, true. Shit. Do you want to go Simple Plan? Sure. You love Simple Plan. Which one are you locking in? Simple Plan. Another N. Nelly Furtado. Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no.

We didn't do... Oh, Asus. Yeah, no. Yeah, very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So back to S. S is hard. I'm really spelling these out.

S is a solid letter. My spelling's not great at best times. Yeah, S, I can't think of any more with S myself. I know they exist. Oh, you said... I'll be out for the sake of being out. All right. So can I...

Oh, no, Babs has got S. Sorry, Babs. So what was it? S. S. So you could do... Shakira. Shakira. Shakira.

Abba. Ooh. So can I do Avril Lavigne? Yeah. Absolutely. It doesn't need to be a band. No, no. So we're just doing artists.

This is much, when you said song titles, I got very nervous. This is great. I meant artists. So E. E. Oh, sis. This is great. I meant heart. So E. E. Oh, sis. E. Matt, you're out.

Bouncer out. M&M. Oh, M&M. Oh, lol. I was like, it's not an M. M&M. M. Okay, that's M for me.

Oh, Macy Gray. Nice. Give me a Y. Y. Yolanda B. Cool. It. Give me a Y. Y. Yolanda B. Cool. It's amazing how much she comes up. LL Cool J.

J. Jessie J. No, Y. Oh, he's just J's. He's not J or Y. Oh, I think it's just the letter. Okay, so J. All right.

Okay, Jessie J. Yep. Yep. Y. Do you know what LL Cool J stands for? Just quickly. Ladies love Cool James or Cool John or something. They do.

So what am I? Am I a Y right now? No, I said Jessie J. Another. Oh, no, just a J? Or is she J or Y? No, no, she's a J. Just a J.

Okay. Jurassic Five. Who the hell? Oh, so is that an E? Yeah. Five. Yeah, that's spelled. I don't know how I do a number.

It's funny how you're like F-I-V-E. Yeah, yeah, five. Yeah, that's spelled. I don't know how I do a number. It's funny how you're like F-I-V-E. Yeah, yeah, yeah. E for Etta James. Very nice. Thank you. At last, my love has. You can tell I've been listening to love songs. On back to S.

I know. I can think of songs with S. Nah. Are you looking at Zed up? Are you hoping to see a S in there? Me? Yeah, I thought your eyes were on the screen My eyes are quite clearly right in front, thank you sir Hey, hey, hey

No, I don't have one Snake hips Only because you had it in your ear of the song the other day It would be fun to do it with actual songs too Snake hips. Only because you had it in your ear of the song the other day. That's a nice shape. It would be fun to do it with actual songs too. That would be so hard. Song titles would be fun.

No, I reckon it would be easier. I feel like you could do it with movie titles. I was starting to get song titles halfway through that, but not the start. You reckon easier? I think so. Movies I think would be good. Lots of movies, obviously. Actors would be hard.

Yeah, you could do it with a few things. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's a bit of fun. A bit of like a knockout game. Yeah, yeah. That would actually be a good one to play with rice cookers. Yeah. You know, because it's an easy one.

They'd be so shit at it. Down the line. How many bands, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Songs. It would be fun to go back and forth with. Yeah. It's a bit more Tennessee.

Yes, yeah. Yeah. It's a word, Tennessee. Yes, yeah. Yeah. Well, there you go. It is a thinker. You've got to keep going with it around the... It's like Snake. Yes, exactly. If you slide down...

You don't want to get stuck. Song Snake. Yes, Song Snake. So do they just do it... It'd be hard with two people going back and forth. Because there are two of them going back and forth. That'd be a lot harder. When you have time, it's kind of fun.

I know. Maybe it's a good podcast, guys. We can breathe. We can let it breathe. Welcome to First Aid Team. Well, good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. It's great to be here. It is good to be here. Really, really nice and good. You know I hate sharing dreams with you guys because I think there's nothing boring than someone sharing their dream. But I must. You've shared your dream only a handful of times

when we were in it. So I can only assume No, you guys weren't in it. Oh, why do you want to share? What happened? I had a dream that I'd had my sister had a baby and then The sister with the four kids already? Yeah, had a fifth and she was giving me the baby because like, you're about to have a baby, Darko, so here you go. Oh my god, like the high school students

with the baby Bjorn or the sack of flour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I thought it was my baby, so I didn't want to give it back. But it felt so real. And I woke up thinking I had a baby already. Holy moly. That's some... Baby dreams are coming.

We need a psychologist on. I genuinely woke up and was looking for the child. Whoa. I was like, where's the... Oh. I know you and Morgan have talked about nesting. Like your house is unrecognizable. It's done so much nesting.

But now you're really shifting into headspace nesting. Because I think a lot of guys are like this. When your wife is pregnant, it's all they talk about for a while. And your head's not as there. You're not in it. I'm not carrying a child. All you can do is support her. Exactly.

And I know you've done that beautifully. Yeah, yeah. That's all you can do. Calling her Migaloo and such. But it's an interesting shift. You know, there are some dudes. You know that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger Jr. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where he gets pregnant? Not that, like, that really happens, but the sort of sympathy symptoms can happen. So weight gain, emotions. I've heard of this. Tender nips. What's it called? It's got a name. Is it phantom?

Or sympathy? Yeah, I've heard of this. What's it called, Shaga? When a partner experiences pregnancy symptoms. Yeah. And they don't know what to do. And then they get all the sympathy? Yeah, I've heard of this. What's it called, Shag? I want a partner experience with pregnancy symptoms. Yeah. And they don't know what to do and then they get all the emotions. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes.

That's, I guess, in that realm. Yeah, interesting. You're like, ah, I can't grow it physically, so what else can I do? Yeah. Hold it. Hold it? Just hold it. Woo, look at this little thing.

Not sure if you were planning on holding it when it arrived, but it's good you're already getting a leg up. It made me excited, though. Yeah, it made me excited. Yeah, really excited. Like a new present I'm getting. It is. It's a gift.

It's a gift. And it's miraculous. It is a gift. Oh, that's, wow. Is that the first sort of subconscious experience you've had with your child? Yeah. Weird. Really weird.

Even though it was my sister's in the dream, it looked like mine. Like, you know what I mean? I know. I know. If we dig down a bit, it's getting a bit like kidnapping. Yeah, a bit odd. Fifth child of my sister. This is mine now.

Yeah, yeah. I'm so used to her having kids. Of course. Not me. Like the babies in your life have come from Abby. Yeah, yes. And a couple of friends, but mainly your sister. Yeah, or my nieces and nephews.

And now you're like, oh, no, hang on. This one will be mine. Like when my child is like, I don't know, let's say seven or eight. Her kids will be able to babysit my sister's kids. Where were we the other day? And there was, oh, our friend Belinda's children. Oh, yes. How old's her oldest?

Eight? Yeah, I think eight or nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And literally we were looking at Olive going, hmm, in a couple of years, she's already very responsible. Very responsible. And she's 12 for her age. I think I trust her now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe not. She's a stove. Absolutely. You kind of go, hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe not to use the stove. Absolutely. You kind of go, hello. You could babysit. Who are the older friends in my life? I'll be giving her my like six-month-old.

You good with this? You good with this, sweetheart? You all okay? Yes. All right. We have a sympathetic pregnancy here. Cuvade syndrome. Syndrome.

Fascinating phenomenon where men experience symptoms similar to pregnancy. That's interesting. Sciatica, back pain, pain, leaking nipples. My nips have been leaking a bit. Oh, there you go. Your colostrum. You should collect that. Shark girls will be yesterday going, are you leaking?

Liquid gold, that. And I just started crying. Don't waste it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been doing your perineal massage yet? Always, always, yeah. And I brought little shots of my nipple juice for all of you guys to have. Thank you.

Because, you know, we didn't do enough with your breast milk. We couldn't agree more. And you know what the issue is? And let's take it as a learning for Morgan. You don't know when your time's up. Some women are very lucky and get to do it for two years, you know? Question. I dried up at seven months.

And then we thought we had more time than we did. When's the best, like, shooting pressure from breast milk? Great question. Like, first couple of months? Absolutely first couple of months. Absolutely first couple of months. Not first couple of weeks because your body's still working it out and you don't want to be wasting any. That's all got to go to the kid.

But some women have so much that they get a thing called mastitis where their boobs are over, they're just overfilled, that it creates an actual issue internally. Yeah, right. So we need to find women like that. And hopefully Morgan, there'll be some to spare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That we can test her shooting distance.

Like, how would you feel if I invited you over, right? I just said, come in, let yourself in. And you came in, I'm hiding with Morgan's boob. I love that. They just got you. What I'd like is to have a retaliated boob to then go at you. Like laser tag. You need like a super soaker.

Yes. I think we both need to come to this, like laser tag. You need like a super soaker. Yes. I think we both need to come to this fight prepared and armed. You can't be having a boob and I have no boob. And my boobs are dry. What are you going to do? I'm going to need a lactating mother to come with me. We could find one. To have this laser tag fight with you.

I'm sure there'd be a rice cooker willing. We'll give tickets away. The winning team gets, you know, maybe a night's accommodation and a dinner out. No, it gets a year's supply of Paul's full cream. Take the load off, sweetheart. We'll give you the milk. We're all good. Baby's sorted.

Ah, rice itself. Shaga, put it down. Put it down. Press milk. Press milk. Laser tag. BMLT, baby. I'll have to run this by Morgan, but I think she'd be sweet with it.

I think she'd be sweet. Obviously, we'll need her to sign the consent form that the video is allowed to be put on socials. We'll be fine. They'll have removed the nipple band by then. We'll be sweet. I keep joking with her that we're going to have people, like listeners, that are there for the pregnancy, for the birth. I just keep pushing her joke.

What do you mean joke? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. It's so funny. It's getting to that point now where she's like, are you? Can we somehow combine that with Shy Guy dips? If you win the dips, you're in the selectable. You're in the suite.

All the dips winners get first. Just eating their corresponding cereal. You get to watch. Oh, that's fun. Speaking of, there's a conversation we need to have today, Daco. Yes. Yes, you mentioned it yesterday. Yeah, it actually is about childbirth and about the journey that Morgan's decided to

go on, I suppose, and how she's having the birth, whether it's C-section or natural, however you want to call it, and what people sort of have been giving us their opinions on, maybe unwillingly sometimes. If there's one thing people love to have an opinion on, it is pregnancy, birth, and raising a child. So I'm unhappy that Morgan hasn't been on the receiving end of this, but it feels like almost a freaking rite of passage. Yeah, it does.

But I'm looking forward to hearing how you've experienced that. Yeah, it's coming up after eight. We've also got Alphabox, your chance at 10K, 6.30, Alphabox couples at eight. We have Wordy Okiy after 7.30. A lot. A lot to enjoy today. But we know the Super Bowl was on Monday. Chiefs didn't win.

That's okay. We move forward. That's right. The Eagles are still celebrating. I know. God damn the Eagles. I hate their fans. Oh, Anne Hathaway.

I love Anne. Princess Diaries. Anne's a treasure. And Bradley Cooper. Yes, yes, Bradley. But the trends online for certain websites have come out during the Super Bowl, and it is very interesting. Okay.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. We're talking specific searches of specific websites. Oh, I thought you were going to say like Uber Eats or food delivery things. Shopping online. Shopping online. You know, if you got bored during the Super Bowl blowout, people started to turn to eBay. Funny you say that.

People did start to turn. But this is specifically to Pornhub. Now, we know Pornhub, they monitor all their own tracking and they release this data all the time. They are very open with their analytics. They are. They're one of the influencers that's like, I've got nothing to hide. Let's do it.

Look, look. Look in. So're one of the influencers that's like, I've got nothing to hide. Let's do it. Look, look. Look in. So here's what they did, right? So apparently they had the largest decline our statisticians have ever recorded during a live sporting event, during the Super Bowl, specifically, though, the halftime show. So they experienced a 43% decline when the game started.

So people were watching the game. Correct. Where maybe at that time they would be on the website. They'd be beating the meat. Spank for the monkey. They took their hand off it, basically. Exactly, Shy Guy. You took your hand off it. You were one of those people. I know you. I know your Monday

habits. Usually, midday on a Monday, Shy Guy, he's traffic. He's part of traffic. He finishes work, he's just like, woo! That's right. But the Super Bowl starts. Yeah. And the Pornhub people notice. Hang on.

We're losing people here. What's happening? They're turning off their computers. So 43% down, right, when the game starts. However, as the game starts to blow out, it starts to creep back up again. Oh! Until Kendrick Lamar's halftime show, where they hit an all-time low. It dropped 68% right before the halftime show.

The highest drop it has ever had in Pornhub's history. I love the idea that there's just a constant stream of people on Pornhub. It's not just like time slots. It's just constant. It makes you feel you're in it together. This is how many people are in the pool. It's nice to know it's a collective experience, albeit from the comfort of your own home. Exactly.

So there's a collective pool of people, and they all got out to watch Kendrick. All got out to watch Kendrick. And how funny is this? They then got the stats from, say, Philadelphia. So Philadelphia dropped 48% during the game. And it was larger as well, like 72% during Kendrick's. The minute the game was over and when it was all done, by about midnight again, traffic was 13% higher

than it ever is. Oh, it turned people on. They had 13 minutes. So people have watched the game, turned it off and they go, hang on a minute, I'm ready baby.

What was I in the middle of? You know when you walk into a room and you forget why you're in there and you go, and then you leave again. They ran back to that room

because they remembered why they had come in the first place. Now 126 million Americans tuned into the Super Bowl. The data that they then got that people were searching after the game was all, this is what they were searching into Pion Hub. Super Bowl jumped 8,000%. Is there specific things like that?

I've never typed that in, but I guess. Sure. American football player was another one. Sure. Locker room boner was up there. And then hot horny cheerleader. Oh, that, sure. That were the searches.

That were the searches. People were just like, but I love it. Everyone's the same. Everyone's like, I want to be looking this up. That's right. Locker room boner. How long does the game go for? Two hours?

Oh, no, three and a bit. Oh, so I've just watched three and a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some hot, sweaty NFL players. I want more. Locker room. of some hot, sweaty NFL players. I want more. Mock-a-roo. Jess and Ducco. Someone with ADHD posted on the internet, on like a Reddit thread, and said,

ADHD compatriots unite. What are some of the hacks that you credit to your ADHD to maybe make your life a bit easier or to keep you on track that you think everybody could benefit from? Right. And I really like these. As someone who has shared a lot, obviously, on this program and then had DMs going, you should get tested for ADHD.

Oh, mate. Don't they want everyone? Everyone who has ADHD wants everyone to get tested. Absolutely. Like, I will definitely have a form of ADD. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I appreciate getting that diagnosis can put a lot of things straight for you, but

you don't need to just because I sometimes work quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're fast. We're energetic people. We're energetic people. I'm the same. I have a burning energy. Sometimes you want to finish a task, but you can't finish it until the next one.

Remember I used to read you passages from the diary I kept when I was living in London and I was, you know, bouncing from bloke to bloke and living my best 20, no, I was 19-year-old life. The number of DMs I got saying you know, bouncing from bloke to bloke and living my best 20. No, I was 19-year-old life. The number of DMs I got saying you should see someone. I'm like, I was 19. I'm reading my 19-year-old diary. On exchange. Are you perfect?

Legit. But some of these I think we could all really benefit from. Okay. If you're a procrastinator in particular, this one is great. Because I know I reckon for mine, mine is like I can't start a task until one task is done. Oh, there you go. Yes, yes. All right.

So a lot of these are almost scatterbrainy sort of leaning where you go, you might start one, but then that takes your attention. So you go to that one and you go to that one. But for this person in particular, their issue is with procrastination. Okay. They are saying, I find it really helpful to say out loud when it's time to go do something. So I force myself to go, I will go unpack the dishwasher in three, in two, in one. We're off. And the countdown forces action.

My PT did it to me the other day. I reckon Kynan thinks I've got ADHD. Was he just trying to make you do exercise? Oh, my bro. You will get on the bike. He's making me do that freaking ski. I know you like that stupid ski. And so I'm puffed.

I lie down. He went, all right, we're getting back up in three. I don't know if he thinks you have ADHD. I think he's just trying to, he's doing the parent count on you. Oh, okay. It's either that or. It's not the ADHD count. It's the parent count.

Someone said, I do that too, except my call to action is, come on, Barbie, let's go party. And I jump up off the couch and execute my task. Okay. That's their equivalent of three, two, one. Right. Come on, Barbie. Someone has said, to keep myself on task,

I pretend to daily vlog out loud, like I'm in the Truman Show or like I have a cooking show. So I literally will be saying the mundane task I'm doing. Sort of talking to themselves. Talking to themselves to see it through to completion. Right. I try not to do this when other people are around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it'll slip into that.

Did you say you were chopping the onions? Yeah, we can see you're chopping the onions. Someone has said something I do because I keep forgetting where I put certain items, like my phone or my keys. When I put it down, I've come in from the shops, I will put it down and say, I'm putting my phone down on the couch. As if that helps, though, because then you just forget what you said. They're saying it out loud.

Sticks in my memory. I'm going to get my wife to try that. I do. Sometimes I will write it down. You know, so I'm like, I'll remember that. It's really important just before bed or whatever. You never do. The simple act of writing it down. I have to write it down. You know, so I'm like, I'll remember that. It's really important. Just before bed or whatever. Yeah, you never do. The simple act of writing it down.

I have to write it down. I don't have to look at it in the morning. It's now stuck in my brain. Yeah. So maybe that's a similar thing. So when we have content ideas, I'm like, oh, I'll just write that down. Then I forget. A hundred percent.

You need to put it in there. And then I immediately blame Shy Guy. Why didn't you write that down when I said it? Where were you? I wasn't at your house at the time. A couple more for you. I find if I keep my shoes on, I'm much more likely to do things than if I take them off. So if I really need to get something done when I get home, I don't kick my shoes off because having them on feels like I'm in activity mode.

Which I quite like because as soon as those shoes come off, I'm. You're relaxing. I'm relaxing. Yeah, you're home. You're done. Yeah, shoes on at home does feel like you have purpose, I suppose. Absolutely. Or you're not finished.

And I'm constantly thinking of like, oh, I've just tracked so much grossness from outside in, so I best get on with the task. I best keep moving. And one more for you. If you have trouble focusing when your music has lyrics, but you want to listen to something more upbeat than just maybe a melody or some sort of classical music. Play music in a language that you don't speak. I've had a friend who needed to listen to music when she was doing her assignments in school work.

I like to study and lock in. Yeah, but she would end up writing her assignment and just subconsciously write out lyrics. The number of teachers who had to call Romy over being like, you start well and now you've just written the lyrics to Kendrick's Be Humble. Yeah. Like, it's just, Kendrick's off of mind for some reason.

That kind of did for me. So, because her brain was just taking in the words and then writing them out. Interesting. So, listen to something in a different language. Or listen to, like, Mozart. Yeah, yeah. Instrumentals. Instrumental.

But if you do want something that sounds like lyrics, you could listen to it in a different language. You might pick the language up. Oh, maybe. Yeah. So thank you to our ADHD friends for sharing those life hacks. I am going to play Alphabucks next. In three, two, one. Well, you can call in three, two, one.

I was like, what's going to happen at the end of the three, two, one? Tiddly-diddly-diddly-diddly, tiddly-diddly-diddly. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. Oh, yes. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer.

You can't use the same answer twice. If you're untrue to the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. But everyone knows the rules. It's for 10K. Our player today, I hear we're in good company. Oh, God, his reputation precedes him. He's elite.

It's Jason. Hello, Jason. Good morning. Jason. Jason. Did you hear the timbers in his voice? I did, and it got me very excited. Jason, what do you do with yourself?

I'm a mechanic. Fantastic. And what do you want to do? I'm a mechanic. Fantastic. And what do you want to do with $10,000? My wife's 50th birthday coming up, so I'd do something special for her. Nice. Yeah, nice. And just in time for Valentine's Day, Jason is using love as the ultimate motivator. God, Jason, that's good.

Are we thinking a big party? Are we thinking a holiday? Or are we just thinking something very sparkly, Jason? Probably all of the above. He's going to shower her in goods. He's going to make this 10 grand work for him. Alrighty, well, let's waste no time. Come on. The letter you're going to work with today, Jase, we're

going to Val Town for you and it's the letter E. E for engine. E. Okay, thank you. I'm no mechanic. Hang on, car part might be a question here. We can't be giving Jase no leg up. So sorry. Quick scan. It's not. You're fine. Okay, good. E for engine.. Hang on, car part might be a question here. We can't be giving Jason no leg up. So sorry. Can we have a quick scan? It's not, you're fine. Okay, good.

E for engine. Jason, you ready to go? Indeed. Okay, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter E, we need you to name a three-letter word. I. A country. England.

An Australian animal. Echidna. A boy's name. Edward. A Australian animal. Echidna. A boy's name. Edward. A tea flavour. Earl Grey. An actor. Edward Norton.

An online store. Pass. A type of tree. Eucalypt. A breakfast food. Something you read. Pass. An online read. What? An online store.

Holy moly! Oh, wow. Jason. He put... You're a player. He put premium fuel in that engine. Ooh, Edward Norton, one of the great actor gets. How good is that Fight Club movie?

Wow, you got eight. Everything you answered, you got. I thought he had that. Me too. Something you read could have been an email. It could have been an encyclopedia. Also, an online store. eBay.

There's Etsy. There's probably heaps with E that we're not saying. You probably could have said a brand.com or whatever. Yeah, you could have said a brand.com. Oh, my God. Wow, I thought we were giving the 10K away. For the first time in 2025, too. I could say brand.com. Oh, my God. Wow. I thought we were giving the 10K away. For the first time in 2025, too. I got so excited.

Oh, what a player. Jason, you're very good. I know it's not 10K, but you do get. Hey, you're going to look good for your wife. $100 suspended budgie smuggler. That's all yours. Get the berries out. Come on.

Okay. Very good. Thank you so much. Jason, I'm a fan. Jason was like, the holiday. Yeah. The jewelry. Very good. Thank you so much. Jason, how about me? Jason was like, the holiday, the jewellery, the party. You can tell. I guess I can walk out in some budgies. That's like coming second by like 0.5 of a second in a race.

He's just. He's pipped himself at the post. He's pipped himself at the post. Jason, you're elite though. Well done. You can hold your head up high. Oh, thank you very much. Thanks, Jason.

Tell the wife we said happy birthday. Oh, we'll do. Hey, it's Babs and this is my blog. Commence Operation Superstar Bratz. Here she is, the superstar brat herself. Move over, Lizzie McGuire and Charlie XCX. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got Babs. Yeah.

Leader of the Brat Pack. Now, you came on yesterday and you were telling us about a fatberg. So, this is like a two for one this week. This is unbelievable. This is massive. The people have demanded more Babs.

More Babs blog. They're surprised at what she looks like when they saw a video of her the other day and now they want more. It was interesting. A lot of people said

they were surprised about what Babs looked like. Truly. What you look like. Not many people were surprised about what I look like. No. Which was like surprising.

Yeah. I get the same thing. Blonde. Oh yeah. The same thing all the time. Oh, yeah. I can hear you being blonde. But everyone was like, I didn't think Babs would look like that.

But no one said what they thought. Yeah. But anyway, let's clear up some of the mystery, Babs. Sure. With another episode. Yeah, well. Babs' blog. Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I've joined a soccer club.

Yeah. Now. Yes. This is an interesting move. Because you didn't grow up playing soccer? No, I haven't played soccer since I was 10 years old. Yeah. What motivated you? Well, all my housemates are playing soccer this year and they said,

Billy, why don't you come and play? You know, it's a social thing. And I was like, I can't play. And they said, well, I think it'll be good for you. Are they those people, though, who are like, it doesn't matter, it'll be fun, you rock up, they're very good at it and they're competitive and you're not. Buddy is very good at soccer. She's going to be playing in like A or B grade and I can't kick a ball to save my life.

It's a hard game. You need finesse and skill. It is. My hands haven't worked out that my feet need to be used. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do your hands need to be involved in soccer? No, like my hands think that they need to

pick something up, but they don't. I can imagine you being a defender who's there to hack the bone and just belt it. Well, the other day I think I did get a bit aggressive. When you said the other day, wasn't it like the first day? Yeah, it was the first day. I had my first training session on Tuesday and then I have another one

tonight. I can't walk after said training session on Tuesday. Yeah, you were limping around for a bit. Yeah, I'm so sore and I don't know why because I feel like I didn't do anything on Tuesday. You put some very cute boots in our group chat. So you look the part at least. She says the part of boots and goes, look at these boots, slay. Slay.

I got some pink boots. The first step is looking and feeling the part. The skills will come later. They'll come. They'll be barbs of their pink boots just running around kicking people's shins. So if your friends have already been classed in A division, what are you in? Probably D. Okay.

I'm on my own. Yeah, so you wouldn't even be with them. And then how many times is training? What's the commitment? It's like two times a week for the first two months because it's pre-season. Sure. So you've got to try and get fit and stuff. I've got to whip you into shape.

You're still trying to use your hands. There's a while to go. Yeah, it's pre-season. Sure. So we've got to try and get it fit and stuff. We've got to whip you into shape. Yes. You're still trying to use your hands. There's a while to go. It's going to take a while. But then it's like every Sunday or something. Oh, you play Sunday games. We're definitely coming and cheering on. We're going to need the location and the time. B-A-B-S.

Babs. I think we put the B-A, the B-S on our chests. Oh, yeah. And at the right moment, maybe she's done something great. What? Give me a B. Reveal. Give me a B. Reveal. Give me an A.

What if she does nothing great, though, which is a high chance? Well, in the 90th minute, we'll just have to get our chests out to support our girl. I want to stress, soccer is one of those games that unless you grow up playing it, it's really difficult. There's a lot of skill involved. You can't just pick it up. Whereas touch footy, difficult and hard, but at least you can catch a ball and sort of run. Hang on. We're going to be supportive of this new venture.

You absolutely can pick it up. No, I'm going to say good on you for going out and putting yourself out there. Well, I'm hoping that I can make some friends and just have a good time. But it's a wonderful attitude. Are you lacking in friends? Because you don't ever hang out with us, ever. And we invite you to festivals for free, all access VIP passes, and you say you have family events on.

You don't want to drink with us. You make a great point, Doug. The fact that you're going to football to make friends. I need four social events. Otherwise, I won't go. Okay, there's a festival this week. I need someone to say the whole soccer team is going on a pub crawl. You need to be there and I'll be there.

Good on you for putting yourself out, particularly in a physical capacity. Is it ladies only or is it mixed? Yeah, it's just a ladies only team. I was going to say. All ages too. How come you have all ages? Yeah, there's mums playing, there's people my age, there's people that are like 30.

It'd be such an array of fitness levels. It would be. It is, yeah. Hence all the divisions, I guess. Well, I must say, very proud of you for putting yourself out there. Trying my best. Can I come to Soccer Training One Night and just watch her, like, yell at you from the sideline?

No. Do you need an assistant coach? That's Uncle Darko. He just comes. They are looking for coaches if you want to. I couldn't tell you the first thing about coaching football, soccer, but I'll do it. What I'm hearing is, sure, guy, we're going to need a Beckham,

a Messi, a Sam Kerr. You know, now that that old drama is cleared up in England. Not guilty. Maybe she's free for a chat. We're going to need to inspire Babs on this journey. We could just start, yeah. We don't want this to, you know, just fizzle out. We're not going to start with anyone in the A-League locally.

We're going to go straight to Beckham and Messi. When we're talking about Babs, we need to aim for the stars too. Top tier. Maybe you could be a goalie. No, I don't really. I ran away when the ball was flying at my head, so I don't think there's any hope for that. That might be a problem as just a player as well.

I bet you one of those people who puts their thumbs in between their hands and they run, they kick the ball really hard. I did boot it a couple times, but I also have this thing where I think I have to kick it as soon as it comes near me and then it goes the opposite direction, So we need to work on that. Like a hot potato. Just get rid of it. You've got two months.

We've got time. I'm looking forward to your journey. Thank you. Maybe I'll be a pro by the end of this. I doubt it. Hey, Ben. Oprah got her first show at 40. So Babs could start her soccer career at 23 too.

You never know. Captain and Matilda's over here. Watch out. Right now they were ducking over to China. Been a hot minute. Great to be here. Always good to be here. I can see us visiting China and you just running the wall.

Oh, yes. Just up. Daily. I run the wall daily. That'd be your thing. Where's Duckman? I presume he's on the wall again. That's right.

Genghis Khan can't get in. No way. Ducko's on the patrol. I'd start a running club. Like, the Chinese would follow me. You know how we have park run here? Oh, yeah. Do you reckon they park run Great Wall? We've got wall run. It's wall run. That makes start a running club. The Chinese would follow me. You know how we have park run here? Do you reckon they park run Great Wall? We've got wall run. It's wall run.

That makes a lot more sense. Not park run, wall edition. $5 entry. I take all proceeds, obviously. Obviously. For security. For security purposes. Let's enjoy the wall run, guys. I wonder if I could see you from space running on the wall. You probably could. Wasn't that a lie? You can't actually see the Chinese Great Wall from China from space?

I thought that was a thing you could see from space. I thought that was one of those myths where it lie? You can't actually see the Chinese Great Wall from China from space? What? I thought that was a thing you could see from space. I thought that was one of those myths where it's like you can't actually. Oh, my God. Debunk this for me in real time. I'll go on Google Maps satellite and have a look. Oh, okay. In real time.

And zoom out, yeah. Anyway, there's a Chinese zoo that has sparked social media outrage. I love this because it is selling, it's pretty cool, Siberian tiger urine. And it's claiming, it's Siberian tiger urine. And it's claiming it's Siberian tiger urine, as if you're not going to try it. To drink? Well, for both reasons, okay? It's claiming it's got medicinal purposes

and you can use it to treat things. So the Yarn Behehan Wildlife Zoo nailed it. Are these the ones that painted the dogs as pandas? Remember that? It could be that zoo. Could be. It could be that zoo. They are selling this medical tiger urine for $10 Australian, so 50 yen.

It's a 250-gram bottle of liquid. And they say it's recommended to be mixed with white wine and apply it. Oh, with a little spritzer. A little spritzer of wine. But to be effective to areas. So you can dab it on your skin along with a slice of ginger. Has a good therapeutic effect. I wonder if that's good for my eczema.

Well, it says eczema, sprains, arthritis and muscle pain. Oh, hello. Good for you too. Apparently, they've also said the concoction with a bit of white wine, obviously, is safe for oral consumption. Would you drink Siberian tiger urine? I wouldn't. It'd be a tough carry, wouldn't it?

I wouldn't. Mix with your favourite peanut? My husband has tried to get me to drink some amino acid thing. Now that I'm, you know, real hard at the gym. Yeah, he's like, I got you this thing. It's greens and amino acids. I can't even drink that, Ducco. I don't like it.

It's too, it's sweet grassy. Would you apply tiger urine with white wine and ginger to your eczema? Yes. Externally, yes. Now you've got my number. I put weirder stuff on my face. Let that one sit. The zoo said the urine was collected directly from the basin the tigers urinated in.

Hang on a minute. Everyone just shut up. Yeah, tigers urinate in basins? If I'm not seeing a side hustle for the duck man, you have had to collect your dog's urine samples for the past six months because of the flare-ups. Yes, because of vaginitis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've witnessed you in the swiftest of motions. Yeah. Swooping with the cup and getting out of there. Pam didn't even know what was up. Even as a marketer, people want Pam's urine? No, I meant you go to China. You're like the snake catcher. Sorry, I thought we were going to sell Pam's urine.

I was like, this is exciting. You're the urine catcher. I am. So after I do my wall runs. Tigers don't need to be peeing in basins. We can have the duck man. Put him in the cage. I bring my own vessel.

Like Slurpee, fill your own vessel day. Yes. 7-Eleven. Do you give me your vessels? Yeah, I bring you my Stanley Cup. And I pretend to be a tree in the Chinese zoo cage or something. The minute they pee, you just see the palm tree bend over. Yes.

Because that's what Siberian tigers have in their cage. Absolutely. You see the palm tree bend over and get the urine. And collect, the tiger doesn't even know what's up. That's good. It's swift. It's good for a small man like me. It is.

I'm fast with that stuff. If the radio thing doesn't work out, bro, I see you collecting tiger piss. I'll be living in China. Imagine if I just made bank from it too, like I become multi with that stuff. If the radio thing doesn't work out, bro, I see you collecting tiger piss. I'll be living in China. Imagine if I just made bank from it, too. Like, I'd become multi-million dollars. You know we talk about dangerous jobs a lot. They earn a pretty penny because not enough people are trained or brave enough to do it. Window washers, ice road truckers, deep sea welders, and now tiger piss collectors.

Well, unfortunately, this has been on the market for a month, and they have sold only two bottles a day. So it's going to be a tough carry, but Apple's started off slow for Steve Jobs. You've got to start somewhere. There's no such thing as an overnight success, Ducker. It takes ten years to be an overnight success. I like it. Just keep it in your back pocket. You never know.

You never know when you need to tell your urine. Can we see the wall from space? No, not at all. You can't? Yeah, it's not true. Thank you for debunking that. Wow, I've lived all my life thinking that was true. No worries. Wall runs next week. Good news.

Jess and Daco. 131060. What makes it better? I'll explain. A huge debate has raged online, and I think it's a good one. I think scientists are doing God's work deciding this. Whether Maltesers taste better from a box or a bag. Oh, my God.

I've never thought about it. So, you know, when you go to the movies and they're always in the bag. Yes, yes. And I feel like that's a big bag. And bag's the most common one. But whenever you see that little square box, usually at like a theatre or something like that, you can get the little box of Maltesers. Yes, yes.

And for some reason, people are all saying on the internet, they taste better out of the box than they do out of the bag. I think I agree. I agree as well. I'd even go even further. This is now getting into different, but Malteser territory. Maltesers in celebrations. Have you ever had, you know, the box?

Yeah. They're in like a little. Oh, they're in the little packet. They're in like a little, almost like candy wrapper. Yes, yes. The little. They're in like a little. Ah. Almost like candy wrapper. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it comes with like six or seven. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Also very good. Yeah, that's interesting. Well. Oh, my God. Box is better. Box is better. Yes.

So Charles Spencer, a professor from Oxford in psychology, has come to the internet's aid to say, let's do this. Let's debunk this. Yeah. Now, he is saying that preferring the taste of an item that's served in a different way, it is nearly always the packaging that makes the difference. Oh, we've talked about this before. Vessel changes taste.

Everything. Yes. So the cardboard box, the delicious, shiny little malt spheres covered in chocolate are much more appetizing than they are sitting in the bottom of a stationary bag. They're tasting better from the box. The sound of the quality of the little objects rolling around hitting the box. Yes, it's almost game-like. It is.

When you've got to open, usually the box comes with a little plastic thing. You open that, then you open the box and you pour it out. You hear them rolling out. It's like a gift. It's like a present. It is a gift. They taste lighter when they're coming from the airy box. It's exactly the same product.

Same product. Nothing is changing. He said maximum enjoyment of food comes from igniting all five senses. So taste, smell, touch, sight and sound. So when you're seeing this, you're feeling it, you're hearing them roll around in there, automatically your taste is going these are better from this. Oh my God. There's science. Our brains are doing it to us. The box is better from our brains. Another big one that people debate is Coca-Cola.

Yep. What is your superior way to enjoy a nicey cold, nicey? A nice cold. An icy cold can of Coke? An icy Coke. You know why? I'm about to say can and I'm like, no. I like it from a glass bottle.

Okay. Glass bottle. It tastes better. Can for me. Yes. I don't like, oh Okay. Glass bottle. It tastes better. Can for me. Yes, I don't know. Can's okay, but it's so common for me. But beyond all that, Macca's Coke. Yes.

And I know they do something a little different. So I don't even know if it's technically the same. They're doing the syrup with the pump. It is nicer. What is that? I don't know what that is. Is it the novelty of it? Is it that the feeling about McDonald's?

I like the glass bottle. I like the glass bottle for me with the glass and being able to touch it and see it? Is it that the feeling about McDonald's? I like the glass bottle. I like the glass bottle for me with the glass and being able to touch it and see it. You can see the object. My paranoia that my little brother is going to walk past me and smash the bottle into my teeth is too great to enjoy. Your little brother who lives in Victoria. Yep. He lives interstate.

He could be there. He must have done it once. That's why I've got this trauma. So attached to glass, I'm going to get that away from my mouth. I agree that the Mac is his elite. And it must be the syrup in there. It's floating around in that cup. Yes, there's something else.

And it's probably igniting all the senses. It's like for me, I don't mind like bar nuts. You know what I mean? Like having salted peanuts or cashews. But they taste better when you have them in a bar. Like if I'm getting nuts from Woolies and I'm having them, it's like, eh. But if I'm in a bar drinking a beer. And they're presented to you in that in a bar. Like, if I'm getting nuts from Woolies and I'm having them, it's like, eh. But if I'm in a bar drinking a beer. And they're presented to you in that little shallow bowl.

Yeah, and I'm eating. All of a sudden, I can put away a lot of nuts. I don't know what bars you're hanging out. I don't think I've seen bar nuts presented free. You're not going to the right bars. I'm obviously not going to the right bars. Similarly, how much better is it I get on a real bandwagon with particular songs?

I'm like, I'll listen to it on repeat, repeat, repeat. That's why I work in commercial radio. I'm fine with it. Finding a song on your Spotify, though, and purposefully putting it on has nothing on when the radio just plays it. When it just comes on organically. You're driving along and you hear the announcer say, and now we're hitting play on the new one from Gaga. Oh, wow. Abracadabra.

Oh, yeah. It just gets you. Like how good was it, Shaga, when we arrived? Yeah, we got out of the lift this morning. What was playing in the lobby? We like this. Abracadabra. You two were singing along.

Truly, it's just like the universe. You didn't have to pick it. It comes on. You didn't have to pick a gift from the universe. Yes. It hits better. It hits different than when you've selected it yourself. I agree, 100%.

So 13, 10, 60 doesn't need to be food. It can be anything. What makes it better? What makes it better? What enhances it? Exactly. I can ask my husband to go buy Tim Tams, but when he just comes home with Tim Tams, the Tim Tams taste better.

No risk of his life being threatened either, because you have to go ask him. I didn't know he was out on the road doing that for me. Safe. Safe. It's a win. Yes. Oh, what makes he was out on the road doing that for me. Safe. Safe. It's a win. Yes. Oh, what makes it better gives a call. We'll get you on next.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What makes it better? What makes it better? The taste, the sound, the smell, just the experience. So Maltesers, box or bag? That's the age-old debate. Why do they taste nicer out of a box, most people think,

than they do out of the bag you get from your local supermarket? The boxes are more of a rarity too, which I think adds to it. Truce the scarcity principle. Yes. A professor has come out from Oxford and basically just said, it's got to enact all your senses. The cardboard box, the shiny little malt spheres in the chocolate covered flowing around the box.

You can hear them rattling around. They feel lighter. They sound good. Absolutely. The box looks nicer. You can hear them rattling around. They feel lighter. They sound good. Absolutely. The box looks nicer. Absolutely. It's clean cut. Absolutely.

Not having to ask someone for something. Yep. Shy Guy used to bring me toast, Ducker, and I've got to tell you, that was the best toast I've had in my life. I've been deserted from having the toast provided. You're not on the toast team anymore. And making my own, having to do stuff for yourself, doesn't hit. It's not the same.

It just doesn't hit the same. It's not the same. We've got a text here. This is a fantastic one. Out of the supermarket, Ducko. Yeah. Green grapes in the plastic containers. Yes.

You can get some in a box. Oh, yeah. Are way crunchier. They're way yummier than the ones in the plastic bag. It's funny. They are crunchier. I feel like the bag's a bit more like soft and damp. Yeah, isn't it funny? I feel like the bag's a bit more soft and damp. Isn't it funny? I feel

like the bags, they almost put more in so the bottom ones get crushed. They get destroyed. And there's so many in there whereas the box only has a select few. Someone else has texted in saying my leftovers in glass Tupperware taste better than my leftovers in the plastic Tupperware even when it's

the same leftovers. That's the biggest one. Couldn't agree more. Glass Tupperware and being able to's the same leftovers. That's the biggest one. Couldn't agree more. Glass Tupperware and being able to see through it properly. There's no food stains on it. There's no leftover spag bolstains. Yes. Yellow remnants around it. I know we get Tupperware to not constantly be using disposable things,

but that plastic Tupperware, it does not stand the test of time. No. The bolognese stains. Yeah, it always gets stained. It does. It gets that like scratchy sort of stuff down the bottom. Yes. The plastic sort of like. How hard is my sponge scratching up me plastic Tupperware? Yeah, it always gets stained. It does. It gets like scratchy sort of stuff down the bottom. Yes. The plastic sort of thing.

How hard is my sponge scratching up me plastic Tupperware? Yeah, yeah. Jess has called through. Good morning, Jess. Good morning. What makes something better? I would have to say the popcorn from the cinemas. Oh, yeah.

That's a huge one. Yes. No matter what, when you make it at home, it just doesn't hit the same. When was the last time you made that bag of popcorn in your microwave, Jess? Probably like two weeks ago. And every time it says like three minutes on the bag, I do two minutes and I still bloody burn it. Yes. But like half of it's burnt and the other half is still kernels.

Yeah. What? Yeah, I don't get it. I can never make it right. No, no, no. And you never want to. Then you go to the movies, it's the best thing.

One of my friends, when she was pregnant, that was her pregnancy craving for pretty much nine months, cinema popcorn. So her husband pretty much twice a week was having to drive to a vent

just buy a large popcorn and drive home. Her poor body. Ah. You give the pregnant lady what she wants. Oh, trust me, I know. Jess and Daco.

Please wait for my old You give the pregnant lady what she wants. Oh, trust me, I know. Jess and Ducko. These words are my own. Word up. You took the word right out of my mouth. Word-yokey. All righty, Sweet Babs is in studio. She is quiz master. She's going to give us some words.

We're going to have to sing a song with that word in its lyrics. Rules of engagement. Yes. Bit of gusto. Rules of engagement. Yes. Bit of gusto. Bit of gusto. And more than just one sentence. And do you have a score update for the year, Babs? Yeah, so, so far, Jess has won two and Shaga and Ducco only won each.

Say only. We're only one behind, but okay. No, no, go with only. Okay. Everyone who had been on air four weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've still only got one. Stop saying only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you still only got one. Stop saying only. You wanted the score update.

That's what it is. You're not a biased umpire, are you? Because we couldn't have that. No, not at all. Not at all. We'll see. We'll see. No, I'm Switzerland.

Okay. First word is mirror. Mirror, mirror on the floor. I'm starting with the man in the... Babs, not to give you... You said that word last week. No, I didn't. Didn't I sing man in the... Babs, not to give you... You said that word last week. No, I didn't. Didn't I sing man in the mirror last week?

I don't think it was mirror. It wasn't mirror. Or did I use it in a different song? I think you used it. I guess. Okay. I'm starting with the man in the mirror. Gets her point.

Gets her note. I'm asking him to make a change. Or I can think of the Justin Timberlake mirrors, but I don't know the words. Dun-dun- don't know the words. There's also that one with Lil Wayne too. And Bruno Mars. Oh, mirrors on the wall here again.

There's a few mirror songs. Yes. Sorry. Point to Jess. Okay. Come on. Next word is tonight. Tonight.

Oh, baby, when tonight. Oh, when I'm like a man. What is that? Make me like tonight. What is that? Make me like tonight. What is that song? Oh, I'll save tonight. Fight the breakup door. Fight tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'll be gone. Are you doing J-Lo? No, I just flipped it to Eagle Eye Cherry. I know you did. Was it J-Lo's save tonight? J-Lo, tonight. It's waiting for the night. Waiting for the night. Waiting for tonight.

Okay, so I was wrong. Okay. That's all right. I knew you were dancing. Waiting for tonight. Okay, so I was wrong. Okay. That's right. I knew you were dancing. Yeah, yeah. Was I really that off pitch? Because Babs was nodding along. I was just being, you know, trying to help you out.

She's a supportive quiz master. Save the night, not tonight. You need a little mash-up. All right, Konski. Pump the brakes. DJ, duck your fingers, baby. Okay. All right, so point to Jess, point to Ducko, none to Shy Guy.

Thank you for the update. Next word is run. Running up this hill, running up this hill. Run, running. That's running. Can you think in your head? No, this is part of my strategy. Run.

I don't want to run. I want to run the night. Run the night. Run the night. Run. Run. Run. Run.

No, that's cool. Ring, ring. So you can't say running? No, it's got to be run. Run. We all. We run the night. We run.

Havana Brown. Nice. All I had was pink runaway, but she was runaway. I can't see that. I also had run the world. Oh, of course. That was right there. Jeez, the beehive's going to come for us.

Yes, Beyonce. Such an easy one. Apologies. All tying at the moment. Jesus, exciting. All right, next word is home. I'm coming home tonight. Country roads.

Make me a man where the sea is alive. Take me home. I'm coming home Tonight Make me in the manor Where the sea is alive I'm coming home Tonight Meet me in the island Where the kids Are riding Shepard

I'm coming home Tonight You want more? Or is that enough? You want more? What about Take Me Home Country Roads? Do you also want more from that? No, okay

Null and void That was good Okay, avoid that one Alright, sorry That was very stress just then Yeah, I know Because you were both looking at me with your eyes really big Next word

Sorry, we won't look at you at all It's fly Fly away with me tonight I don't know that anymore. I'm like a bird, I want to fly away. I don't know where my home is. Now I got that lyric. I don't know where my home is.

You got the word in before me. What was your song? Was that a nursery rhyme? I even think it was Nora Jones. And it's come away, not come fly away. Come away with me. I'm a big fan of Nora over here, obviously. So is this, if I get this, I win?

Yes, you do. And to stay in the game, Jess. So is this, if I get this, I win? Yes, you do. And to stay in the game, Jess and Shaga, you have to get this one. Come on. You guys use her out. Come on. Next word is boss. I don't know. I know.

Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy.

Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy.

Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy.

Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. Bossy. I know Bruce Springsteen is the boss. I can't think of boss. Ah, no. I'm boss.

You're the boss of me. I'm the boss of you. Boss me around. You have a boss by Fifth Harmony? Was there a Doja Cat? Yeah, I think so. Okay, all right. Okay. All right. Okay.

All right. Damn. Okay. If you get this one, Ducker, you win. Are you off the script now? Yes. Okay. Last word.

Sweet. Sweet home Alabama. Oh, no. She's got no words. It's a tiebreaker. It's a tiebreaker. Okay. This is you two.

All right. Are you ready? Yes. Last word is button. Push my button. You wanna take the button. Pussycat dolls.

Loosen up. No, it's buttons. You both did buttons. Buttons. Buttons are a really tough one. Button. Oh, no, no. Push the button and Okay. Button's a really tough one. Button. Button. No, I can't think of it. Oh, no, no. What you...

Push the button and let me know before I get the wrong idea and go before I miss the freaking... I don't think you gave Babs enough. I'll take that. Yay! Jess wins. Jess and Ducco. Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Absolutely.

The International Day of Love. You know, a lot of proposals, at least a lot of flowers and chocolates and gifts. Yeah. Which makes today, Feb 13, the day before Valentine's Day, something special on the calendar as well, Ducco. Okay. Today is World Dump Day. Everything gets a day.

Apparently, if you're thinking about breaking up, today's a good day to do it because a lot of people choose- I'm not taking a dump. It's dumping people. I see. You know what? Maybe it's open to interpretation. If you're really happy in your relationship, like I know you are, maybe you can interpret

World Dump Day as just a nice time to- Every day's World Dump Day. Sit on the toot. So people break up with people today commonly. Exactly. One in three Aussies aren't exactly feeling the romance in their relationship. That's a very high stat for the number of people who are coupled up, who have admitted to the toilet paper, speaking of dump,

the toilet paper company who gives a crap. They're the one who has compiled this. Well, obviously, that's, yeah. Yeah. They've got a vested interest, obviously, in dumps. I mean, I do use that company very hard on the anus. It's so good for the environment. It's all recycled.

Yeah, but it is tough. I don't know what that ply is, but it's not doing wonders. It's half ply, if anything. It's not doing great. One of the few things, though, I've noticed about Who Gives a Crap? I, too, subscribe. They don't glue the paper to the roll. Have you noticed that?

So it comes off fully clean at the end. You're not like having to rip or scrape it off. At the very end. At the very end. I never noticed. They're saving on glue. Okay. They're doing good stuff.

But anyway, they've revealed that, yeah, one in three Aussies aren't exactly feeling the romance in their relationships, even on a week like Valentine's week. Yeah. even on a week like Valentine's week, when it comes to calling it quits, more than half of us, 57% struggle to find the right words, leading to more than two in five couples dragging out the breakup. Like they want a dump on World Dump Day, but they don't quite know how to sit the person down or send that text. So they end up being in the relationship for way longer than they actually want to be. It's like, don't people break up as well before Christmas,

before the silly season? Yes. Or they stay together just to get through it so they're not alone and single, even though it's a great time to get out and mingle over Christmas. Valentine's Day is a tricky day for new relationships. Oh, my God. Because it's like we don't celebrate it. We never have.

Like, I don't care about it, and nor does Morgan. But a new relationship, it's like. You've kind of got to work that out early. Very early. Even like if someone's birthday is quite early in the relationship, how hard do you go? Yeah. How much money do you go? How much of a deal do you make about, are we doing dinner?

Am I coming with some mates to the pub? Very tricky scenario. It's a tricky one. Everyone likes flowers and chalk, though. Can't go wrong with a Twix bar and a nice little bunch of roses. I just see every day as a day for love, you know. It doesn't need to be one day. Morgan's getting Twix every day.

All the time. Very good. You know, Twix and ice cream all the time. You love love. I love love. You love love. Yes, everyone's favourite game. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back if there is time. But today, it is not individual. We are playing it in Alphabucks couples. We're pairing up. So meet Nakia and Peter.

Good morning, team. Hello. Hey, guys. You might be our youngest competitors so far for Alpha Bucks couples. We've got a 20 and 21-year-old but been together quite a long time. How did you guys meet? High school.

Sweethearts, Ducker. That's nice. Are you guys living together? What do you want to spend the money on? Peter, a ring. We're going strong. That's nice. Are you guys living together? What do you want to spend the money on? Peter, a ring maybe? Oh, I don't know. I reckon a good holiday. Yeah.

Oh, that's nice. Next best thing from a ring, hey? That's nice. I appreciate Nakia's on the other line. Yeah. Nakia, how does that sound? Holiday instead of a ring? Oh, I don't know.

Nothing. Wow. Alrighty, guys. Well, you heard Ducker. The. Wow. All righty, guys. Well, you heard Ducco. The same rules apply. You've got to work together. But that 30-second clock, go fast if you're mucking around. First in, best dressed, though.

First answer. Have to take it. That's right. Let's do it. The letter you're going to work with is G. G for Greece. G for Germany. Might be a nice little getaway.

Ooh, okay. All righty. You guys ready? Let's do it. All right. G for Greece, G for Germany. Might be a nice little getaway. Okay. All righty, you guys ready? Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter G, we need you to name a lolly. Shit. Gummy bear.

A TV show. Gilmore Girls. Something you take camping. Gloves. A fashion brand. Gucci. A non-alcoholic drink. Ginger beer.

Something you wear. Gloves. A phone app. We ran out. Gloves. A phone app. Uh-oh. Ah, we ran out. We took a lot of time to get gummy bear. Nice bit of synergy from them on all the responses. We got six.

I actually think you guys are probably the most well-rounded couple. It's almost like paused on the same ones for much too long. But they're both saying Gucci. That was nice. That was nice. Yeah, that was good. We held each other out. Pete was out of the gates quick, and then Nakia came to the party. You got yourself six.

The only one you missed out or you didn't answer, a phone app, could have been Google, Gmail, Gumtree. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hindsight. Hey, look, you don't go away empty-handed. You do get $100 to spend at Budgie Smuggler.

Yeah! Thanks. That's what Pete did it for. Absolutely. Hey, look, you don't go away empty-handed. You do get $100 to spend at Budgie Smuggler. Woo! Thanks. That's what Pete did it for? Absolutely. They do men's and women's, guys. I see cute little matching fits. Very nice. Yeah, you're going to be happy.

Let's go. Yeah, you're going to be happy, Nick, here with Pete and his budgies? Oh, yeah. I'll get the Tony Abbott ones. I'll get the Tony Abbott ones. Do it. With the birds on them. Absolutely. Send us a photo, Pete, when you're all said and ones. Do it. With the birds on them. Absolutely.

Send us a photo, Pete, when you're all said and done. You guys happy on the beach together? Mm-hmm. Bloody oh. Great stuff. Thanks for playing, guys. Thanks, guys. Happy Valentine's Day.

Will do. Thank you. Thanks for wishing us a happy Valentine's Day. That's not. That's not. So right now, as we know, Morgan is 30 weeks pregnant. We're expecting a baby girl. So many people still ask me, do you know the gender? I'm like, yes, I've been very clear about that.

When I posted that thing of us doing the clothes swap, people going, oh, they're having a girl. I went, I didn't ruin the gender. It's been public knowledge. It's been announced from day dot. But obviously there's big discussions around pregnancy plan. What are you going to do? Are you going to go C-section?

Are you going to go vaginal? How's it going to happen? And because we're an IVF baby, I only learned this recently, but the baby needs to be induced earlier. I didn't know that. I didn't realize that either. And I don't really fully understand why there's so many things in this process that you're going to take in. It's one step at a time. Absolutely. And even though your wife's medical, she's not in this particular field of medicine. So you take, obviously, the expert's advice. Now, did you have a pregnancy plan when you had Lucia?

I think I had an idea of what my ideal scenario would be, and that involved water birth. I'd listened to so many podcasts where women talked about being in the bath or the pool, whether that was in a hospital or in their living room. And the hospital we were with didn't have the option for water. So I did say to my husband, find a blow-up pool, brother. We're going to do that. But I mean, like, you were going to be going back.

You were never going C-section. It wasn't in our plan. And to be honest with you, the idea of doing an emergency C-section did freak me out a little bit. So I was trying to do all these things to, yes, push us one way, but had to relinquish that a little bit because at the end of the day, what's going to happen is what's going to happen. Totally.

And I think because Morgan is medically minded and she does sometimes work in the babies that do C-sections and they do vaginal stuff, so she sees things go wrong all the time. She always from day dot wanted a C-section. Before she was pregnant, C-section. Was the idea that it was locked in? It was planned? Yeah, planned.

She's a planned person. It's locked in. It's easier. We can get there. We know what time and date. We're coming in and we're doing it. And it's all calculated. And she obviously had a few issues with her tailbone being slightly bent and she was worried

about the pain. Yada, yada, yada. She always wanted that. But what's funny about the entire journey that I've noticed, that I didn't know was a thing, but is the amount of like sometimes low key, sometimes not even so low key, judgment you get when you say we're doing a C-section. Yes, a planned C-section. Not so much from people maybe our age. Well, like I'll even say our parents, like both our mums were both a bit like,

are you sure you want to do that? I don't think it's best for the baby if you do a C-section. And I, obviously being just a guy, had zero idea. I was like, why is this a thing? Yes. Who cares? Absolutely. If that's how she wants to do it, let her do it.

If that's safest for mum and bub. Yeah. And also beyond being safe, if that's the woman's choice. It's her choice, yeah, yeah. That's her freaking choice. I've had many friends experience the same thing, judgment about a planned Caesar. Yeah.

So much so that they, one, didn't tell people, but two, then changed sort of the scenario after the fact, saying, I needed an emergency. Ah. So said Caesar. But just said they needed the emergency. But then went, oh, but needed emergency, when really it was planned the whole time.

Yeah, right. That's interesting. To avoid this judgment. Because I found But then went, oh, but needed emergency, when really it was planned. Yeah, right. That's interesting. To avoid this judgment. Because I found us even saying, well, Morgan's tailbone's bent and, you know, rah, rah. And you do find yourself justifying it to people. And you're like, what? Like, in my opinion, it's like, it's her choice.

It's her body. Let her do whatever she wants. How does it affect you in the slightest? Exactly. It's fine. We have a great obstetrician. We spoke to him. He said that's absolutely fine.

But your mum and her mum, they are two big players. Yeah. To be giving their opinion and a little bit of judgment to your wife, that must have weighed on her a bit. Yeah. I don't think – Morgan is so stubborn that I don't – I think if people, like, said it, she doubled down on it. Okay.

They were just fueling her. Yeah, yeah. And they were never super bad with the judgment. Like, they were never like, oh, you shouldn't be doing it. But it was like, have you thought about everything? And rah, rah, rah. And I even had mates coming up to me being like, oh, isn't it meant to be better for the, I've got told it's better for the baby

if it's not, all this stuff, whatever. There's so many things about it. But the funniest part through all of this, because Morgan is so stubborn and that's what she's always wanted. And I've watched this because I'm very much a passenger just going, whatever you want to do, whatever you, I'll just support whatever you want to do. That's the correct headspace. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like you want to see session? Great. You want a badger? Cool. Like wherever you want to do it, let's do it, whatever. Now, as her hormones have hit, she's 30 weeks and she's starting to feel all the pregnancy hormones, the emotions are flying and stuff. I've noticed her tune change.

This has been probably a month discussion, the last month. And she sat on the couch and she's like, so I've been thinking about the birth. I went, yes. She's like, I've been thinking I don't want to deprive my body potentially of maybe feeling it naturally. And also my birthing story, because we had friends telling us their birthing stories. And like, I'm thinking maybe I want to go natural like complete backflip wow and isn't that a funny phrase deprive myself of knowing the feeling it's not a good feeling yeah yeah it looks horrific you know and I give you drugs to numb the feeling yeah if you want and I but it's hard because I didn't want to give advice either way

because, once again, it's not my body. So I was just going, okay, sure. I'll be there either way, honey. Whatever you're thinking. I'm watching her go through this process of unraveling back. And I want to clarify, like, there's zero wrong with C-section, and we still might get that. That's still on the cards.

And it wasn't people giving her judgment. Morgan is her own independent human being. But seeing her emotions and her hormones take shape so much that she has now completely flipped on what she'd always wanted to do. And being medical and seeing the worst-case scenarios for some natural births, she's like, I don't want to borrow that. Yeah, whereas now she's going, oh, but when I tell the story after the fact, I can share

maybe the turmoil and the amazing act that is pushing out the child. Or it would be, we were booked in that day and she arrived. Which is just as good of a story. But now her headspace, wow. And now I'm like, wait, so we need a birthing plan? We need a go-go bag? Have you heard the phrase pain

ladder? Oh, yes, we've heard the pain ladder phrase. Yeah, yeah, heard that. Now we need to do classes, which we weren't going to do because it was an elective Caesar. Oh, yes. So all these things have flipped, and now I'm going, oh, you don't want to go Caesar? Oh, okay.

And you're right. I mean, there's still seven, eight weeks, potentially ten. And her tailbone, I will say, it is bent. She's had issues with her tailbone, and she's had x-rays. So they're doing a test on her where it's meant to be quite uncomfortable. They prod and poke and see if you feel a pain there from the tailbone. If you do, maybe you get seizures. So we still do that test.

Right. But right now, as it stands. I can't believe she's flipped. We're flipped and we're going vaginal. We're going normal. Wow. And it's just, I've never seen her do this before. Yes.

In anything in life. And it is, it is, there is nothing like having your first child. You've got nothing to compare it to, even though she's got amazing friends and obviously her, the parents in her life sharing the experience. It's just talk until you're going through it and you're in your own head and heart and thinking about you in that moment. There's nothing to compare it to. I know.

I know. And I hear all the stories from you and other friends. Yep. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. You want to know my suggestion to decide? Yes. Because you know I suck at scissors, paper, rock. Okay.

So I was like- You want to scissors, paper, rock? We'll flip a coin and see who gets vaginal. Sure. Who gets assigned. Yep. And then we do scissorsissors, Paper, Rock. And then in that moment, if you lose or win, you will know exactly how you feel.

That is a great tactic to work out what's actually going on with your inner monologue. Because I always lose Scissors, Paper, Rock to her. Whatever I get, I'll probably lose. And then we'll see how she really feels. And she can feel. All right. Let's circle back. Yeah.

I said we could do it on air. She wasn't so keen on the whole thing. We could pre-record it. It doesn't have to be live. It doesn't have to be live. It doesn't have to be live. So anyway, watch this space. Wow. Well, good luck to both of you, but obviously to Morgan making that.

It's a big decision. It's a big decision. And sometimes the decision is taken out of your hands, so this could all be a moot point. Exactly. Wow. I know, but we'll see. Good luck, Morgan.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I had a moment the other day where I went, I've pushed him too far. Sweet Angus. Was it the Tim Tams? Yeah. I've shared a lot this week, haven't I? Depriving for his attention.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot this week. This probably comes back to wanting his attention. We've got a window. Well, I've got that window every day. Gussie's at work. But on the weekend, we try and keep Lucia, our one-year-old, to the nap schedule and all that.

Routine is king for the sanity and for the overnights. Routine is king during the day. So she's a pretty good napper. Between 1 and 3, we put the baby down and we've got a two-hour window. Oh, yeah. Here we go. And it is blissful. Yeah.

When she does make it the two hours, we take what we can get. And the other day we had this two-hour window and I looked across to Angus and I went, we've got this window, baby. What are we going to do? Like, obviously, we can't leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we going to do? You can't get going, man.

And. So it was like, you know. That's what I was sort of anguishing. Yes. Because we rarely get that time these days. We rarely get that there. So it was like, you know. That's what I was sort of angling at. Yes, because we rarely get that time these days. We rarely get that time, absolutely. My windows of being into that are small as well, so we've got to take advantage when we have it.

I see. So I've tried to angle that. And he said to me, awesome, I'm going to go wash the house. And he went outside, Ducko. Got his high-pressure hose. Wash the house? Yeah, not wash the windows. And he went outside, Ducko. Got his high-pressure hose. Washed the house? Yeah. Not washed the windows.

He thought this would be a great opportunity to wash the house. Have you ever heard of anyone washing their house? Nah, I haven't. Or ticking that off their list. Yeah. I didn't think that was a thing. So you were there basically just, yeah. Maybe my signs were too subtle.

Okay. But he chose in that moment to spend the next 90 minutes. You're just lying on the bed. I'm ready. I'm going to wash the house, honey. And then I just hear the whoosh of the high-pressure hose. Did that not wake the child up? That's a great point.

He thought she's got the white noise on. He thought it'd be fine. He will lawnmow and whippersnip when she's napping. He's very much of the mindset when she's down, she's down, and we've got a seize on it. It doesn't matter how noisy the activity is. I guess he's outside. It's not like he's doing that inside.

I just love it, though, that he's seen the house and going, when I get a second, I'm going to wash that. We have a cream-coloured home. I get that. It does show up. It would never cross my mind. We're different people. It would never cross my mind that I could tick that off,

wash the house. My mum, growing up, would blanket out weekends being like it's window washing weekend. No one had to help. She did it on her own, but it was a real thing on the calendar. So I appreciate when the windows get dirty. Okay. But I've never heard of having to wash a house. And that's what he decided to do on that two-hour gap we had.

While you were lying in bed. While I was lying in bed. Waiting to go. Yeah. He could have washed anything. Of all the things. Yeah. Yeah.

Sounds like he's going to put me in the tub. But. Could have. It was a real, it was another real moment. Yeah. In the relationship where he chose the high pressure hose over my company. Had to look, had to look inwards, Ducco. High pressure hoses are fun.

And then you can like, when you can draw shapes and things with them. They are. I think that's what he was doing on the walls. Yeah, they are a good time. Because with all the grime. Oh yeah. Come out here, let's play Pictionary on the walls. He goes with all the grime. Come out here, let's play Pictionary on the walls. It's just a penis

every time. A lot of people hate confrontation. A lot of people identify with being a... Chicken. Chicken. A wuss. Lucky we started a club. It's called Chicken Club. You can always text the text line 0488881069.

You can slide into our DMs, Jess and Ducko. We're not going to ask you to call because that would mean you have to be brave. Yeah, you have to be confrontational and brave to tell us. Yeah, and this is not a place for those sort of people. No. This is a place for people like Matilda Ducko. What did Matilda do? She said, one time I went to the doctors for a 12pm appointment,

spoke to the receptionist and sat down. I still hadn't been seen by 2pm. Two hours has gone by. I just thought they were really busy. Didn't want to be that person and go up and ask what was going on. My boyfriend called around 2.30, asked what the hell was taking so long and encouraged me to go up. Receptionist said, whoopsie, I just forgot to check that you were here.

Was seen two minutes later. Man, what a chicken. You've got to go up. What a waste of your day. What a waste of your day. And just being there, plodding, sitting there, looking at the receptionist. They'll get to me. They'll get to me. I don't want to be difficult. That is unbelievable. You're in it, Matilda. What about this one from Bronnie? He wants to be in it.

My daughter just started a new job, and her boss offered to drive her home. She described the wrong house and couldn't correct herself, so the boss dropped her in front of this random house, and she just pretended to be on the phone until the boss drove away. Two weeks later, she's decided that's where she lives now. What does that even mean, describe the wrong house? Yeah, it's that one.

Yeah, yeah. It must be like two houses down. Instead of going, no, no, it's that one. Yeah, yeah. It must be like two houses down. Instead of going, no, no, it's that one. She's like, yeah, thanks so much. Thanks so much. Pulls out her phone. Nice boss waiting. We'll wait till she gets inside.

I've just got to pretend I'm looking for my key. You're in, Bronnie's daughter. She's in. I like this one from Kat. I bought this really big, expensive tub of yogurt that had been heavily reduced because it was expiring in a day. You know, you see those labels sometimes slapped on the tubs. Got to the checkout and the guy didn't notice, so scanned it at full price.

I just paid it and now have to eat two kilos of yogurt in the next 24 hours. Yeah, at full price too. Those things are expensive. Absolutely. Yogurt's not cheap. That's a thing for like two whole families, not just one little lady. RIP his guts. You're in, Kat.

Leah. Leah, I like this one. I put a $1,000 deposit down on a racing motorbike because I couldn't say no to the person trying to sell it to me. I don't even ride. I don't like motorbikes. I keep getting phone calls from them chasing the rest of the payment and wanting to organise collection.

So I've blocked the number and I've just never asked for that deposit back. We're going to forego $1,000. So she's just lost $1,000 because she was too scared to say, no, I don't want to actually pay this. I don't like riding. That must be a very convincing salesperson. Must be so good. Wow.

Can I leave you with one? Yes. Because I think this might be the president of Chicken Club. Molly. This is the hen? Yeah. Yes, your mother hen. The cock of the club, Molly. This is the hen? Yeah, she's Mother Hen. The cock of the club? Yes.

In the middle of labour, a student midwife came in to check how dilated I was. She checked my butthole instead of my cervix, and I was too scared to tell her she was on the wrong end. What? How did that happen? How does she not know the difference? I understand you're a student, but, I mean, anatomy's anatomy. And then, what, she just sat there feeling it going, that's not.

Have you heard of a stretch and sweep? Oh. Yeah, that's not good. Oh, my goodness. Molly, that's like platinum VIP status in Chicken Club. She is, like, in labour. Wow. That's just.

Welcome to the club. Welcome to the club. 0-4-double-8-double-8-1-0-6-9. Or slide. Wow. Welcome to the club. Welcome to the club. 0488881069. Or slide in. Yeah, you can DM. Like Molly did. We'll have to keep building the chicken club. We do.

There's power in numbers. Strength in numbers. You're not chickens if you're all in it together. Exactly. Yeah. Maybe we can give them like chicken club certificates. Oh, that's right. That's really nice.

I like that. Yeah. Maybe we could all get matching jackets. I like that. Or t really nice. I like that. Yeah. Maybe we could all get matching jackets. I like that. Or T-shirts. Yeah. Yeah. We had the chicken nugget Ugg boots from Macca's.

Oh, my God. All right. We're going to need some of those. We're going to, yeah. Some Nug Uggs. Yes. Nug Uggs. Jess and Ducko.

I hope you're enjoying your Thursday, however you've started it. Absolutely. It is World Dump Day. Apparently, it's a bit of a trend to dump the person you're with, if you're not, you know, that enamoured, the day before Valentine's Day to avoid having to buy them flowers, chalk, presents, take them out to dinner. Yeah.

So if you're getting broken up with, commiserations to you. Condolences. Condolences. Good luck. They weren't worth it anyway. Absolutely. Have you got us presents for Valentine's Day tomorrow? Have I got Angus presents?

No, us. Oh, us. The team. Like, shy guy babs me. You know I got Angus presents? No, us. Oh, us. The team. Like, Shy Guy Babs, me. You know I do. Yeah. You know I do. Always.

Because I'm a big fan of, you know, I love a grand gesture, but I also love a tiny gesture. Sourstraps coming your way, brother. Frozen peas coming Shy Guy's way. Oh, he loves the frozen peas. And a nice flaky almond croissant for Sweet Babs. Oh, that'd be pretty good. Yum. Are you actually getting all those things?

Yeah, because I love it. I can practice what I preach. Okay. I love this stuff. I will not have any gifts for the team tomorrow. You'll be disappointed. That's fine. I'll buy myself a Twix.

It's fine. What's Babs going to have for us? A lot of Twix. Surely Babs. Actually, I didn't tell you today. It's so funny. Oh, my God. I had a prime Babs moment this morning.

I forgot to tell you guys. Just you and her? No. Well, she didn't know I could see her, but I could. So I drive into the car park. Oh, my God. I had a prime Babs moment this morning. I forgot to tell you guys. Just you and her? No. Well, she didn't know I could see her, but I could. So I drive into the car park. Oh, yes. She is in that classic thing, you know, Babs and Chaga, rude with the lift and don't wait for us.

She's doing that classic thing where she has pressed the lift button and it's clearly not here yet, but she heard my car come up. Stop it. See what Babs does? Instead of facing, like, because when you face the lifts, you can see on your left is where the cars come up. Stop it. See what Babs does? Instead of facing like, because when you face the lifts, you can see on your left is where the cars come in. She turns around, so her back is facing where the cars are. Stop it.

And goes on her phone. To act like she's out of sight, out of mind. And then I drive out. I had to pee. She had to pee. I see with her back like, don't think because you're not looking at me, I can't see you. And then she got in the lift and went off and scurried away. She's there trying to press the button. It was pretty funny.

I was like, next time someone comes, I'm just going to put my back to the lift like, I don't see you. This is like when you play hide and seek with a child and you cover your eyes. Where's mummy? You're right there. Babs did that to you. Babs? I told you I needed to go to the toilet. Yeah, fair enough.

I don't expect you to wait. It was just funny seeing you do that. I would have rather you wave at me and then go up and then send the lift back down for me. Yeah. You know? That's, wow. It was pretty funny. She's, uh.

Just standing. She's stone cold, Steve Austin. Don't worry about sweet Babs St. Mary. Oh, yeah. She's stone cold out there. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was very funny, actually.

Wow. I actually thought she got away with it, too. Yeah, we see. We see it all. Yeah, we see it. Hey, we are out of here now. Back tomorrow, though. Obviously, it's Friday.

We've got those Kylie tickets to give away. Yes, we do. Talk about happy Valentine's Day. That'd be nice. What else do we have for Friday? Oh, we have some pleasure vouchers. Yes, we do. For Valentine's.

If you make it through World Dump Day and you're still together tomorrow, but there's a little niggling issue, enter the court of Jess and Ducko. Let us solve your dramas. Jess and Ducko's love court. Like the woman who told us her and her boyfriend are fighting over is gold a shade of yellow for their game of spotto, we've decided gold is gold. And she was in the wrong.

She was in the wrong. That's right. The rice cooker's voted. So we all decide. We're the jury. We're the judge. We're the executioner. Yes, we are.

So we'll decide everything for that. You can win yourself some. We're an executioner with pleasure vouchers to give away. Like, that's one hell of an executioner. A pleasure-cutioner. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

God. We're right on nine o'clock and I'm still doing it. Mate, there is nothing left in the tank now. I'm on empty, thank you. Very good. Anything else to add, team, or are we all? We'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.

Bye-bye. I put weirder stuff on my face. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.