Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Be quiet rawdogger

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

Ducko can't shop online, Jess' 2 year old swears in public and the producers wrap up the week that was in their diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new Macrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today. Jess and Douggo. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Good morning, good evening, good morrow, friends. Whatever time of day, this podcast has found you. We're recording this on Friday the 10th of October. Oh, that's a 10th of the 10th.

Yeah. That's a nice date. I hope lots of people are getting married today or... 10, 10.25's cool day. 10, 1025 rolls off the time. It's like my daughter was born on the 4th. 14th of the 4th, but then it's 25. I'm like, could you imagine if that was 24?

Oh, that would have been nice. Or, can we to pretend? Or 2004. Yeah, 04. That's you having a baby way too young, but still. She's, that would have been a little, you know. Let me go to my timeline of Angus, which I did visit this week just to see what we were celebrating. I wonder what we did.

You were celebrating him and your mum meeting for the first time. Yeah, that was like two days ago, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Let me have a look. What are we, surely I'm due for a celebration sometime in your calendar? Do you know what I need to go back on? That day that we picked you up from your hotel, the first time we met in the flesh. I reckon that's worth celebrating.

Geez, that would have been around November. I'd have to have been. You reckon? November December? Because was that just they had flown you down to do like a meat and green? Yeah, went out to dinner. But you didn't actually move, move till the new year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't move till Jan. Nothing on October 10, but looking ahead of month, Ducco, November 10. Angus asked Jess to move in Wow So we'll celebrate that So when he asks you that day to move in Do you then straight away go to your phone And punch it in

Wow That's exhausting stuff Like to keep on top of that shit I like that shit So it's not exhausting to me It's joyful October 23 You like this

First time poo was openly discussed I thought you were gonna say farted in front of him for the first time It wasn't too far from that Openly discussed poo Yeah right When's your first sex

First sex. Yeah. Well, first sleepover without sex was July 22. Without sex. I had my period. I've even written that note. On the rag bags. The red river was flowing.

First bang. Do you know what I? It was before that. Oh, so we banged July 13. Content wedding. Next time we get together is I've got me rags. So we did it bang. But I also wrote that down.

Angus was like, I don't mind it. Hang on a minute. And then I've got... Please stop. But then I've got... The Dolmio Green. Then I've got too far. Sorry, too far.

The five brothers. I said that to a friend the other day. I've never heard that phrase. It's so good. The Dolmio Green. But how's this, Duck? I've gone through all the back. You've never heard that.

No, that's fucking funny. That's there. That's there. Because you know, Dolmio Green is their actual marketing slogan. So it's just been co-opement. So good. But all that has happened, Ducko. Then I've got first date.

So that was all pre-first official date. So you'd slept with them and slept over, and then I feel like the sleepover is the date. Evidently not. But that's when we were at Splendor. So we were there with separate friends. Did you have sex in? Oh, you didn't say in a tent. No, no.

We had separate. Accommodation. You got a limo went out, obviously. That's right. I've written the first time we had Mayfield West together. Like, this is one hell. Mate, how does he go on keeping up with these? Because initially, I know, he'd celebrate.

This isn't even a shed. At least this is just me. I should share it with him. Yeah, do it. He'll love it. I'm sure he would. We're coming up to our first poo being discussed anniversary. What are we doing for?

Let's have a poo together. Yeah, I've got a note here. This is going to mean nothing to you. But we talked about when you'd need to do a shit, instead of actually saying it, doing a subtle movement. And he said, what about if we moonwalked to the bathroom, you'd know that was the poo moonwalk. So I've written poo moonwalk. But don't you want to not draw a tension? Yeah, don't you want to get more subtle.

Have we met? No, I know. No. Settletty's not my strong suit. You still moon war? No. Now I just leave the door open. He knows what's off.

Chess, she's now like, O Angus, guess my fart. He's like, no, please. See if you can tell what I had for lunch. Yeah, yeah. Have you got one brewing yet for me? The guess my fart? I was so upset.

I actually text you guys when we had the cheese board for an afternoon snack. I was so farty. I contemplated driving to your house. Protein will make you. Protein will make you farty. We could do it on voice notes, on text. That's great. Oh, so I'll record it, and then I'll text you.

And go, guess my fuck. And then we can all voice reply. Use voice and prize who gets the clock. That's fine. And then cause it on voice and text. But I just, that's shot guy's. Oh, that thing is just gagging to get out. Help me.

This is show guys asshole. Poo! I picture like a little troll doll stuck in there. Please. I just love how Ducko's been able to, in the moment, run over. I could probably even get one right now if I really want it. Babs, you're your up. Ready?

Wait, let her guess first. Yes, guess, yes, yes. Go, go. Bad. That nearly had a fucking follow through. Holy shit. I need to check my own. You were way off.

Yours wasn't nearly aggressive enough. Mate, that is a skill that I didn't know I had. We've done that twice. My issue is, I feel scared. Like, having to push. Your vangs are in. I just, like, I was opening cheek there. I love the idea.

We've got a photo shoot next week or whatever. Why is Ducko's eyes bludge on? He popped a capillary pushing out of the heart. Oh, God, it was a good sound. Yeah, Babbs, you didn't back my farted. But that one had a follow through that I will need to look at. I'll look into that. And it's a good skill to have.

It's like I had that friend who could queef on cue. Queen the Queefer so she could like ride out and make quefe sounds she did it for us one night drunk To force air I know The vaginal canal is very impressive

Anyway but I feel like this is my She obviously hasn't had a baby Because all that We're just Yeah yeah everything Is that your pelvic floor Yes it is I pushed too hard

Everything's gone Everything is out Yeah Anyway That is a good party trick Oh that's phenomenal You're having fun babes Yep

All right so if you want It's telling my heart That's what your ass sounds like You know what you're listening two minutes ago? I was a whole Oh sorry, yeah My asshole Just the pursed lips

What would be in? Perhaps it's assholes Here you go Because we've got your We've got your jewel We've got front bum Yeah yeah Similar to that

Yeah you reckon Or is it like Is it like a more dim Oh Because it's all IBS I'm going to kill It's Sal Ron Do you know who sour

Ronnie's? I need the Mordor music I need Mordor music What is it the time off man Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Babs after sour cream Babs after anything Yeah, anything

How's the body language? You're like I'm like what? Are we wrong? No Feel free to argue I wish I could eat more food Okay

What are you up to tonight? You got a night solo? That's right. She's doing a face mask. Face masks, watching sex in the city and probably eating GYG. Nice. What are you going to get? Burrito, bowl.

Maybe a burrito. I am trying to save money, so I got frozen pizza in the freezer. No, fuck, don't do that. That's so sad. The oven, you have to light with the lighter. Don't do it to yourself. I mean, because my housemates are all away this weekend. And your boyfriend.

Yep. Oh, gracious. Yeah. So it's just me. Love it. Enjoy your frozen. What is it, Hawaiian? Yeah.

Yeah, would be. From our. Oh, from Aldi. Is it Hawaiian? Nice. Elite. It's like the little, it's kind of tastes like McCain, honestly. It's quite good.

Yeah. McCain, you've done it again. Tijuana up on the end. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got that shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up. I'm not that easy to tang.

You know I can't get Angus to roll play. I have to do a show guy. I can't get Angus. Ducco. No, mum, I don't want to raise sperm. Got him going insane. Shy guy. You're either one I got a review with a moustache.

Oh, no, there was no filter for that. Oh, fast. You're testing my patience today. Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco. Yes, it is. Right on 6 o'clock. Welcome to Friday morning. Good morning. Good morning.

I flirted with not coming, Ducco. Yeah, you were tickling us yesterday with the cough. Yeah, the sinus issues. And also bereavement. Yeah. And this morning. Oh, you're that. That's right.

I tried to find something black to wear. Oh, good. To honour. We need to do a memorial funeral for the fish. I think we do. Let's, we'll give me the weekend to plan something. I would like to do that in 12th.

Thank you. That's very, well, I was going to open it up. Didn't you go to a funeral once? Yeah. The pastor or whoever said. Would anyone like to get up and say a few words? Just a bit of, bit of improv. What is that called improv?

Off the cuff. Yeah. And then so many people got up. And then there's one guy gets up and goes. It's like open mic funeral. It was in Nimbin. Like very hippie-dipy. And when one guy gets up and goes, I didn't know her.

But based of what you've said, she sounds wonderful. I was like, what are we at? That'll be shy guy at my fish's funeral. He's like, I couldn't have cared less. You, I know, will tap into the depths of your emotional reserve. I like your good cry. So on Monday, I need everyone to wear black. Yeah, we can do that.

Black Day Monday. That's right. Valet, little fishy. Little fishy. But here I am. We're rolling out Plan A after Shy Guy said, okay, if you don't want to come, I've got a plan B, ready to go. Yeah, yeah, nice. Which was great.

Well, we thought you were, I thought you were low odds at coming. Like, I was like, I don't think she's going to make it. To be honest, I was flirting with it, but I have to thank you for your recommendation of some meds. I got distracted and didn't buy the meds myself. I know. So the only thing I sent you to the chemist for, what did you buy? What did you get? You said, oh, I got you present babs.

I got influenced by, um, here we go. Some random TikToker who doesn't even have that many followers, but she literally just posted yesterday. My picks for like, um, unadvertised, great products at Chemist Warehouse. And she just talked about some cream that's good for dark spots, another cream that's good for red for your face. Another cream is good for redness. So you just went and got some creams? And a new tinted moisturiser.

Right, right. And so when I went and I got distracted, I bought those things. And then you went, ah, damn. And then I left and went, I got in the car, I went, I didn't actually buy the meds. Ah, well, I'm in the car now. So my husband ended up going. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's worked really well. My throat's still a bit weird. I apologize for my sound today. But I'm feeling good. It's good. Great. That's all we can ask for. Oh, the manuka honey in the tea today?

Yeah. Giving myself the best chance to get through. Yeah, maybe I'll have a tea, actually. Oh, have a tea. Chaga, you want a tea, mate? I've never had a tea, but I'll try one. Oh, sorry, do you mean... Babs, we need two teas.

Do you mean at work or in your life, you've never had a tea? I can see that. I can definitely see that. So, no coffee, no tea. What's your hot beverage of choice on a chilly winter's morn? A hot milo. He heats up his milo. Yeah, I don't mind a hot try.

I do, like a child, I'll say I'll do. Do you know what I see him enjoy? You're such a child. You know when you microwave milk for a hot chock or a hot milo, I assume? It gets that disgusting film. Yeah, yeah. I see him peeling that off and eating it because he likes it. Hang on, in the microwave.

Doesn't that happen to milk when you heat it up? You get that film. That, like, sticky stuff. Yeah, yeah, kind of like the way the milk heats and bubbles over. Wait, how do you make a hot milo? I do hot water from like a kettle. You know my water. Yeah, and then I put milk in it.

But just a dash of milk. Yeah, and the my life. I don't drink milk, so it's hard for me to judge. You know what? But I would put milk in a microwave. I'll put like a mug of milk and put that in the microwave. I guess. That's what I thought you did.

And the last time I remember doing that, it got that weird film, hence why I stopped doing it. Is this dumb? I didn't think you could put liquid in a cup in a microwave. You can? Yeah, yeah, of course you can. I thought it would, like, bubble around or whatever. As long as long as you're going to put in for too long.

Didn't know that. I thought that was a hazard. No, the fow oil oil is a hazard. Silver's a hazard, yeah, yeah. You can put a little lid on your lid on your cup. I wanted to judge you really harsh just then, but today is the no dumb thought Friday date where we do not judge for dumb questions, dumb thoughts.

You don't know. You can't help what you don't know. I just don't use microwaves very much. No. Well, here we are. Babs, good morning to you. Good morning. How are you going today?

Yeah, good, feeling good. You have a hot cup of Milo? No, I can't do milk. Yeah, you can't do milk. Who are we kidding? I can't do milk. Don't you have a milky coffee? Yeah, it's soy milk.

Soy mobs. You're not having a soy milo, are you? I actually don't even like, when I go order coffees and I used to get a flat water of her order now, I just get long blacks. I'm just a long black guy. Hit me long, hit me black, baby. Absolutely. You know what annoys me when the barista goes, oh, do you want to splash a cold water in there

to make it drinkable? Sis, if I'm ordering a long black, I want it to burn. Oh, no, I say yes. Because I'm like, yeah, I actually want to drink that in the next 20 years. Give it to me pure. They always just, I say, I want a long black and they say, You need links and gurs. Absolutely, they do.

Yes, I do. That's right. Those beans, the lengthiest and the girtiest. Great show lined up for you today. Team, Alphabox, of course, your chance of $10,000. Friday bangers coming up, doing it a new way today, so you can get involved in the text line to select the banger. We're shaking it up, baby.

Yeah, we're mixing the tree. We were getting DMs. Hey, how do I vote on the banger? Wow, how was I? On my personal Instagram. On your personal? Yeah. Wow.

I didn't get any DMs about bangers from anyone ever. No. Yeah, yeah. Okay, they all came to the JD show page. And shy guys personal. I think they're under the late post them, maybe. Oh, that you're in charge of it. Oh, I see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good morning to you count. It's like when I missed the podcast. Like, oh, it's there. I just didn't click a box. It's fine. I do love that, though, and the podcast doesn't go up at by midday and people message.

Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's nice. They care. They care. Now, what else we got? We've got. The last tickets to Lewis,

Capaldi. Yes, we do. Very good. You've got to get involved in the show. And hey, you've got a chance next. If you want to chip in a dumb thought, maybe you've got something about microwaves you've been thinking about. Or how to do Milo.

Or how to do Milo. 13, 1060. No dumb thought Friday up next so we can get involved in the text line. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. We're a judgment-free show. Always.

And particularly. Around six on Fridays, it's a judgment-free zone. It's my favourite time of the week. I couldn't agree more. We undo that top button. You should see Babbs today. Her dress was half off. And then Shaka was like, Babs, you want me to help you?

And she's like, no. I don't need a man to make me a half bear. Exactly. What happened? She says. And then me and Shagga, like, okay. She could have just literally done the button up for you. But I did it. Yeah.

It was disappointing because it was friends offering a friend to help. And then she turned into a sexism thing. Was the issue she did not what you think? I knew I was capable of doing my own button up. It was just going to take a bit longer. She didn't need you to mansplain her buttons to her. No, that's reverse action. It was a witness.

I was like, friendly thing. Because I was about to offer and then I was like, oh, no, no point. No, you stand on your own two feet, queen. I love that. Thank you. You struggle. Get it, sis. Yeah, things off the top shelf as well.

Alec. 13, 1060. If you would like to contribute a dumb thought. Yeah. We got those co-fod, the tickets to Lewis Capaldi. We do. has called through. What's your dumb thought, Alec?

Well, I was coming home from camping last weekend. I was in the car with the watch. And there was all this road kill on the side of the road. And I said to it, well, I wonder if, you know, like they have news reports for people dying on our roads. I wonder if they have their own for the bush telegraph. So the animals are reporting on the deaths? Yes, yeah.

There's all these birds hanging around the roadkill. They're all chattering. Do you reckon the birds are the journalists of the animal world? That's a good one. That's a good one, Alec, because a lot of birds die on the road. Some roos die, that'd be bigger newsday, that'd be a bigger newsday. Well, not in the bird community. Oh, true. You know what I'm saying?

But is the bird, is it a white, is it all animals, you know what I mean? Well, I think Alex is saying the birds who hang around to maybe scavenge or eat the remains, they're the jernos. They're the on-site reporters. But that will journal over anything getting hit, is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. So if it's a root. Surely they're putting priority on their own.

Maybe they're swaying the news cycle. A good bird journal, if I know a good bird journal, they will not be swayed. They should be unbiased. They'll be unbiased. They'll just be straight to it. That's a good one, Alex. Alex, yeah. I like that one.

You know what? I hope that's what's happening. I do. I'm now, every time I drive, rurally, or I see birds near a row, I'm going to think they're reporters. Because on top of that, Alec, when I do see that wombat valet, I go, how does his family know? He ain't coming home for dinner. Then they turn off. On the 6 o'clock news.

Do you think when they lose a pack in the mob, the birds, that they, like, let's say a murder of crows is flying, right? Sure. And then one of the crows gets hit by Alex's car and dies. Do you reckon the other crows actually... Why didn't you make him the murderer? Sorry, Alex. He's still on the line. Make it shy guy.

Shy guy kills a crow. Sure. Do you think the other crows will have a moment for that crow? Do you think they just keep moving forward? I think crows actually are quite empathetic. Yeah, they are. Even though their pack name is murder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do think they would take... Birds are very switched on. They are switched on creatures. Yeah. That's good, Alan. They're all dancing around with their wings out. Yeah. Doing their journalism dance.

Oh, it's a sad dance. It's a sad dance. Oh, it's a morning dance. Hey, thank you, Alec. Thank you. That was fantastic. Oh, here you go. See, there you go.

Babs is just tripe. Is it Babs or Shiger? Who gets credit? Babs. Would you like to? Would you like to read that? Come on, use your words. It says birds notice when a kin dies and often exhibit behavioral changes such

changes in eating activity levels and as a form of grief. There you go, they are. See, unlike our fish who have not changed an iota. Yeah, they don't care. Well, since Babsus fish ate your fish. That's right. They could. I wonder if they're all looking at Babs' fish a little bit.

Sidery now. Stay out of her way. Watch out for her. She'll eat us. Good friend of the show. Tony. Tony. It's called through.

Good morning, Tone. Oh, you? Yeah, good. You on your morning walk? I am on my morning walk. Watching a sunrise. It's lovely. Listening to J.D.

No one doesn't walk better than Tony in the morning. Amen, brother. What's your dumb thought for us? They're dogs. Okay, what do you go? Do you think they bark in different languages? So if we had the dogs from Germany and a dog from Australia, they know what they're saying.

Could they understand? Oh, you mean dogs that are from different countries are in that country's tongue? Yeah. Interesting. Is that dialect? Yeah, interesting. Completely different language. Yeah.

I think there could be. Because you hear a German dog say going to. to German commands. Ah, that's right. Well, I guess just what they're taught. It's what they know. So it's what language that's been absorbed. But in terms of, I guess all dogs technically are bilingual.

Because they speak dog and they also speak, whatever, their trainer, their owner has taught them to understand. But do you think dog bark is generic universal one language? I would have thought that, Tony. I would have thought the dog bark, because like I might live in Australia, but I know a little bit of Italian. Do you know what I mean? So for dogs, it's like they all speak dog. But then their commands they know in certain languages. So is it in a language for each breed or even a language of cross all dogs?

That's the thing, maybe the breed. Because breeds, usually interbreeds don't like each other as much. Exactly. And is that just a crossed wires? One thing they do do, which they seem to be universal, sniff each other's butts. So maybe if they're not speaking the same language, has a bit of a butt sniff. Can I, can I just make this conversation a little crude for a second? Of course.

I've been taken Gianni to a few more dog bucks. Now Lucia's a bit more capable. We're going to dog parks again. Yeah. They're not sniffing his butt. They're going straight for his little Johnson. Oh. Well, he used to have the massive big, big testies.

Remember we got those new-ed. We brought those in. So do you reckon they're sniffing the remnants of that? No one goes for his rump nowadays. They go straight. And because he's so tall. Yeah, they can go under. They're basically all these kelpies and chit-s.

You're like me walking under Shagai and sniffing his balls. Essentially, because your nose is now perfect height to just slip under. Just to give you an image. Yes. They're not doing bum any. I think that they're doing that to Johnny because they know he used to have big ones and he's sad about it. And it's like a bit of a, it's an alpha thing.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, that's mean. But Tony, good one. Thank you. A lot to think about this morning. A lot to ponder from the cookers and that's my favorite time. Wow.

Jeez, that was some red hot ones. They were. I'm now every time I see birds on the side of the ride and think they're journalists. That's right. You're going to look for the tiny camera crew. Jess and Ducco Welcome to a Geez, another end of a week

Guys, you've earned it Short week this week But boy have we earned it How we have We have We do you find With the Monday public holiday Or just a short week in general

Geez You really put that extra Yeah you do Into the remaining days I've been excellent this week Guys thoughts Pat yourself on the back Ducco

Shagha you've been fantastic this week Thank you The team has never thought so much Top notch from you babes Thanks. That's stuff you chipped in before about the birds grieving when one of their mates goes down. Mate, no one else could do that like you. I know.

Jess, top-notch. Thank you, Dougher. And you've been great this week and performing while sick. I've been up against her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sick and bereaved. And whatever you're doing right now on your way to work, you have been excellent. I hope you could look yourself in the rearview mirror.

Yep. Just quickly, only if it's safe. And go, God, I'm good. I'm the man or the lady. Or the lady. I'm the one. Just say number one. That's probably a bit easier.

If you're still at home. Maybe you're like, Tony, you're listening to us on the listener app while you walk your dog. Find a reflective surface. There might be a bin coming up with a steel ring. Nothing's more motivating than staring at a puddle. I'm just looking at yourself. Oh, you know what I do? Here we go.

It's because of my ego. Sometimes I walk past a shop window. And I look at myself and I go, yes, Queen. I flick my hair. I go, yes. And then I crash into someone because I'm too busy looking at myself. Not looking at the path ahead. The only reason I FaceTime is to look at me.

That's the only reason, you know? Do you ever catch your eyes looking? 100%. I move my box. I'm up top left, bottom right, top right. You're so good at moving your box. No one moves a box like. No one moves a box like my duck man.

That's going to be in my tombstone. Every time I face-time my parents, because they want to talk to Lucia, all I do is I go, geez, do I need to get my hair coloured or, geez, my skin's looking all right in this light. I don't even see what my parents are up to. I couldn't tell you if they're tanned or not. I've come home in their six weeks. Yeah, yeah, it's just on you.

And as soon as Lucia starts to get bored of the conversation, all she wants to do is hold the phone, and all she does is hang up on them. Because that big... We need to talk to the tech people. Don't make the hang-up button red and enticing, because all kids want to do is hit it. Press it. Press the red button.

I have to call my mum back 15 times to have one conversation. Could you imagine, though, if the hang-up button was like yellow or blue? It just wouldn't make sense. It needs to be the same as the mute and the keypad. needs to be a grayed out circle. It needs to be nothing. And we can tell it's hang up because of the eggs. There's so many buttons as it is on that.

And you look at and you're like wig out. When you're getting a call, another call comes in, you're like, I've got to answer and hold, hold and hang up, hang up, answer, and then you hang up and everyone. And all of them end up with hang up. Yeah, yeah. You're goddamn, I've ruined it for everyone. Yeah. We are.

I feel like no dumb thought is just continuing through this morning. Jock, anything else you want to add about not hitting up milk? No, that's great. I reckon. You reckon he's punching through alphabets. Someone loves the time on time. Okay, Babbs, as really goes, I've worked so hard on this sheet,

now they're not going to do it. It's in two days. I'm kind of happy this happened again. Babs, I'm going to need you to come in, file this away, born for Monday. Guys, we were going to do pregnancy myths and stats, but instead we just spent three minutes

talking about how good we are in FaceTime. Babs, Monday. Babs, I will get, like, look, I did highlight. It's fine. I just got distracted. Yeah, and I Googled stuff. Hey, but Babs, this is why you've been great this week. You know?

Pivot, Audible. Yep. Ah, we've lost her. That's the end of Babs this show. She's going to, her fish is going to eat someone again. Careful. Careful now. She didn't even know what to say.

She went into the... God, I sometimes wish you guys could see what I see. It's so sad. I get so sad. And you two don't. No, my back is to her. My favorite thing is when Babs goes, leans into her mic, and then goes, and then leans along. What do we talk about rolling with the puns?

She's bad. Just open your mouth and let the words come out. All right. That was very fast. 13, 10, 60. Let's play Alphabucks. Bad is ready and rare. She's lonely.

We'll get you on for $10,000 there. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabet bucks on hit. Alper bugs. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions. We'll start with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice.

And if you're unsure of the question, you can say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Chris. Hello, Chris. Good morning, guys. Long-time listener of the show. I love it.

Oh, thank you, Chris. Thank you so much for being on this journey with us. Have you ever had a crack at Alpha Bucks before? Oh, once before. I think I got about four. All right. We're going to aim to go for 10 today, Chris. That's where you're going to get the 10G, okay?

We can go bigger, Chris. What's your favorite? letter you like working with? Give us a couple letters you want, you know? I'd go with W or V or... Ooh, he likes the back end of the alphabet. Not afraid of the back end, old Chris. Oh, anytime we say W or V, people go, ooh, Chris would go give me, give me. How do you feel about the letter H, Chris? Pretty positive. Pretty positive. Love that. He just seems like a can-do guy. Chris can do anything. What do you want to spend money on? Well, the money on.

So it's my 40th in 12 days, so I was thinking you're going camping. Yeah, nice. 10K on the equipment and the alcohol with the boys. I love it. Here we go. I'm about two hours from my house. There's a place where you can go catch your own fish and you eat them and it's a stay at the night. Bloody, beautiful.

Well, maybe you'll catch some hokey because that starts with H and that's the letter you're going to work with. Okay, Chris. Okay, awesome. Let's do it. Lock and load for the 40th. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter H, we need you to name a school subject. History.

An instrument. A harmonica. A verb. A pass. A video game. Past. A flower. A past.

A periodic element. helium. An international city. Passed. A three-letter word. Has? A movie. Um...

Dah! We ran out of time and Chris, I hate to tell you, you got four again. Shut up, it's all. Oh my God, you manifested that. We got four again, I know. Let's go. You got through nine, though.

Let's go through them. A verb could have been hug, a video game. Halo, a flower, Ibiscus, an international city. Houston. And then a movie could have been plenty of Halloween. Happy feet.

There's a couple. Look, Chris. I think you like this for the 40th, though. You don't get the cash, but you do get $100 at Minks Erotic Boutique. Oh, excellent. That would be awesome. Happy birthday.

Oh, yeah. Nauty boy. Go spank yourself. Took it too far. Have a great. It was a line and I'm crossed it. Have a great 40th, Chris. Thanks for joining the show again.

Yeah, you enjoy that, Chris. Thank you. Thank you so much. What a legend. Age for handcuffs. There you go. Thanks, girls. Thanks, Chris.

Love you, mate. See ya. Bye. Bye. Love you. Love you. Yeah. A bit of love on the Friday.

Hey, why have you got him? A bit of Mariah, because obviously Friday's live next weekend. Yeah, that's why I'm playing Dream Lover. Turn this one up for your Friday morning, getting you to work. It's going out to Chris. This is going out to Chris and spanking himself. Sorry. Jess and Ducco.

Right now, we've invited Babs to sit in studio because as our resident, Gen Zia, got to. I need your hot take on what your kin are doing. Sure. In a recent series of videos, there's a couple of productivity influences, Ducco. You might think you're an underwear influencer with your brand ambassadorships. I don't have that anymore. I lost that.

Oh, okay. Well, maybe you can pivot into being a productivity influencer. Okay. One guy named Rowan is filming himself sitting in a chair, staring at a wall. And he's calling it raw dogging border. to try and... They need to give everything a label, hey. They do.

It's fun. They try... Yeah, look at me, raw dogging. I'm just staring at the ball in the music. Nothing going on. He's trying to explain that he is addicted to his phone. Like all Gen Z is, hey, like all millennials. Like we are.

Like a lot of boomers. How can you not be? Addicted to the phone, he goes, I've got the worst attention span. I can be sitting there for half a second and just feel the urge to pick up my phone, scroll on social media. I need to retrain my brain. And the way to do that is to sit quietly with nothing. No TV, no devices, no friends, no conversation, just raw dog quietly.

So he's gone viral for these series of videos where he's just sitting in a chair, staring, maybe closing his eyes. A lot of people saying, you're just, this is meditation. Don't try and call it raw dogging water. They've been doing this for centuries. But a lot of people saying, you're a genius. You're inspiring. Some people calling him an ascetic jess. Jedi. Now, ascetic, not aesthetic.

Aesthetic. I had to look what that word made. It means characterised by severe self-discipline. That's my lightsaber coming out. Like Hans Solo had great Obi-1, had great self-discipline. Quigon gin. He is trying to... What? Episode 1 Phantom Menace. Quigon gin. Come on. Mish. No, it's not. I was all right with Obi-1. That was Darth Moore's time. No, I was all right with Obi-W-1.

Play it. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too much. There are there who appreciate episode one. Yeah, that's how I feel about all my walk boy quotes. Slow down. Babs. But Babs.

Is this the thing you're trying to do? Break away from your addiction to social media, to your phone, to devices, and just retrain your brain by sitting and staring at walls. I don't personally. But I can see why people would do it. No, but don't you go on your unplugged walks? But that's different, a walk. I feel like that's different because I'm actually doing something.

It's in the realm, isn't it? You're doing something. I agree with Babs. Because, like, staring at a wall, what's the point? You're only going to drive yourself more batty unless you're actually breathing and doing meditation. Well, neuroscientists are saying this is actually good because this generation has never experienced boredom.

They've never given themselves a chance to just sit quietly and do nothing. Their brains are always going a mile a minute looking for the next dopamine hit. They're constantly agitated. So they're actually saying there is something to this. There's something in this. But it's meditation. You hit the nail on the head. It is literally meditation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're raw dogging meditation now. But meditation, don't you reckon it sounds a little daunting? It does. Oh my God, I have to sit there and look at my thoughts. Whereas raw dogging boredom feels accessible. I've never been, I've tried meditation. Ah, it's hard, man.

Because then, like, don't think about anything. I'm thinking about thinking about nothing. 100%. Watch the thoughts. Enter your mind. Now watch them leave your mind. I know. What are they going?

Start small like Rowan. Just stop taking your phone to the to it. That's how he started. like a Jedi. And then stop picking up your phone. Do you appreciate that? Shagai got me two sound effects. There's lightsaber on and then

lightsaber off. Well, you've got to make sure you put it away. You might hurt someone. It meant Shagai come to a fight. Here he comes. Whoa, that guy's so big. Here I come. Oh, you deflated when you saw the size of his kids.

Why does it always come back to both of you? You'd be quite raw doggar. Right now, quickly. I'm good at a fair few things in life, but online shopping is not one of them. Knowing our weaknesses is a strength, Ducko. I don't know what it is. I'm really bad at purchasing things online. Do you mean like knowing your size online if it's not in your hands?

Definitely that. I also just like find a way to purchase multiple of items. I get scammed. What do you have like three to cart instead of one? To be fair to myself, I did this when I was a little bit intoxicated on the weekend just gone and I forgot about it. Then Morgan said, Hey, did you? Were you grandfinal drunk?

Yes. I was, yes. And Morgan said, I was excited, and I saw an Instagram ad pop up for a shirt for the Kansas City Chiefs. How about those? She's! I mean, I don't want to criticize your wardrobe. You've already got a couple of those. And guess what? I've got a white one with red riding. This was the exact same. But guess what? It was from Cotton On, and I didn't see it. And I purchased two. And so it was like, Morgan's like, why did you spend like 120 bucks of Cotton On? I was like, I didn't. She's like, here's the receipt. Do you know how much you have to buy you? usually. It's been 120 at Cotton on. It's a relatively cheap. I know. I know.

This must, oh, they're obviously jumping on bandwagon, Travis Kelsey. The problem with me is Apple Pay. It's too easy. Apple Pay Instagram ads and I say things my phone. Here's it. It bats up an ad and I go, that looks good. Because what you say was a sponsored post. It was just popped up what in your stories or in your, yeah.

And then she's like, you've already got a KC shirt. You don't need another one. Let alone another two. Another two. And it rocks up in the mail. Okay, so it comes. It looks the exact same. There's two.

I'm like, oh, I got a. medium. Jesus fits pretty small for a medium. Morgan's like, you did not. Yeah, I bought two women's mediums. Oh, you bought kids. Oh, no, I bought two women's medium shirts.

So it had the nice cap sleeve. Yeah, cap sleeve. It's just like a little mark for the boobies. Shut up. You're just trying to show off your guns, aren't you? You're like, I need a shorter sleeve. Either I cut it or I buy ladies fits. Morgan's like, how did you buy two ladies' shirts of the same shirt you own?

I was like, I just, I don't know. Attention to detail again. I know. What a strength. I know. That's not one of them. She goes, do you even check? Like, what you're, I'm like, I don't.

I just hit click and I get excited. Then I regret it. Amen, between you buying $300 worth of Bronco's stocks last week. She had a word of me about that. Oopsie. And the stocks have gone down today. The minute resource drinks, torrent water again, those stocks are plummeting. I'm a shareholder in the Bronx and women's cotton-on-tees.

So if you see her in a cotton-on-tee show at the Chiefs, say it looks good. Oh, okay, she'll copy that. Jess and Duckos. What's the threesome? I've been doing tutoring with Shy Guy's mum, just to learn how to speak shy guy and ease. Oh, yeah, how's that go? Yeah.

I'm struggling. My head is not above water. So many different things happening. I just need to give myself a leg up. Good on you for just going above and beyond. To speak this man's language. Yeah, just for us to get through this game. You were taking a bullet for the team.

And I get to spend time with Shaz. You got a cuddle when you bumped into her in Spotlight. I'm yet to receive a cuddle. She's perfect cuddle height for me. She is. a lot for me. It's like you're not muzzled into her breasts and she's not muscled into mine. If anything.

She's muscled into mine. Now I know why that feels good. You should join us for our next tutoring session. I might be there. Yeah, yeah. Chaz's house? Well, I won't be there, so. No, no. We're trying to learn you, man. And I didn't want to come either. That's fine. Oh, no. Oh, do you want to come? Oh, no. Okay.

Why did you complain? All right, first one. Shy guy is going to give us three things. We're going to attempt to tell him. Yeah, yeah. What those three things have in common. But yes, it's very much what he has written down. Yeah, what I've written down is what I'm looking for as the trend. For the three things, first thing.

Chess, checkers, backgammon. Board games. That old ladies like. Strategic board games. Games with dice. No, that chess has had dice. Oh, yeah, games with little pieces. Games are square?

No. Backgammon. Is it something about it being on a board? Checkers, chess. And what was the third one? That was the closest. What did you say? No.

Strategy games. That's what I said. Two people. No. With like, with little pieces. Strategy board games. Strategy board games. Stop copying me.

Stop copying me. See, this is why we veggie my sandwiches. Shark Guy, we don't know. No, classic board games. None of you so classic. You said board games, all people play, and you said vintage or something. Did I? Vintage.

I don't know. Vintage is close. No points. No one. No one spoke shy guy, man. My lessons, Shaz, I might have to up him to twice a week. Thor's Hammer. Captain America's Shield, Iron Man.

Marvel weapons. Avengers weapons. Yeah, I'll take it. What was it? What did you have written? Marvel weapon slash gear. I said marble. You guys are very close over there. Goodness me.

It is a team effort to get to these. This is a team game. Next one. You'll get this one. That's so bad when he says. It's the kiss of death. Calligraphy, origami, Ikebana.

Japanese things. Japanese native things. I just said Japanese. Oh, but is calligraphy Japanese? Invented in Japan. No, not what I'm looking for. So calligraphy's writing. Origami's with...

Things to do with paper. Japanese things to do with paper. You're getting close. What was the third one? The paper thing? Yeah, you're getting close. Origami writing and... Origami, I don't know what Ikebana and calligraphy.

I don't know what Ikebarner are you on. I don't know what Ikebarner is talking about? Not paper. Japanese games. Japanese... No. Methods. Methods.

No. Japanese. Paper. Japanese. No. Okay, so... No paper. Okay, so you've got origami.

You write on paper. Yeah. You fold the paper. We don't know... Oh, Japanese things involve your hands? No. They're Japanese art forms. Oh.

Close. I appreciate... I appreciate... Lines me to Japan once. Should have known those. You'll get this, taco. Calligraphy was the first one. I was like, uh-oh.

Unless it's ramen. He doesn't know. All right. Or Mount Fuji. All right. Well, you all like movies and books. I think you'll get this one. Hunger Games, Divergent.

Maze run. Just three. The Indian film, movie series. Oh, you are speaking of Mr. Govian. She doesn't need the lessons we shared. That was also a book series as well. Yeah, I thought something about trilogies, but very good.

A pyramid, a sphere and a cube. Shapes. Three-D shapes. They are three-d-shaped shapes. Oh, good guess. Thank you very much. Jeez, those lessons are paying off. Now we're flying.

All right. Coen Seg Bugatti and a... Sports cars. Use your words. Yeah. I didn't even need a third one. I didn't even understand. That was English.

I didn't know what he was. I'm saying. It was in Japanese. You didn't get that. Those cars are very rare and very expensive. Yeah, they are. I knew that. A violin, a guitar, and a harp.

Things with strings. String instruments. Babs says string instruments. I've got to give it to Babs. Yeah, the exact wording. I've got to get off the floor here. You've got no points. That's okay, because you know what, the team is teaming today.

It is a group effort. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you get this one, Jess, we go to a tiebreaker between your A. If you get this, then... It's worth 20. Okay. We'll figure it out. Comic Sans.

Times, Newman, Roman, Helvetica. Microsoft Office Fonds. Yeah, they are. Ah, yeah. Ducco, you're out. See ya. See ya. Bye.

For the win. I might need to phone a friend, Ducco, stay there. I'm gone. Put your lightsaber away. Sure. My battle has ended. It's over to you two now. Good luck.

A proton, a neutron and an electron. Oh, they're all elements of an atom. Proton, neutron and electron. They're the things. Invented by. No. Big Bang theory stuff. This is like, yeah.

They are all... Science terms. No. It's not an anti-times of atom? It's not what I'm looking for, though. Building blocks of the universe. No. That has to do with Big Bang?

No. Oh, are they all science terms? I just said that. But you're out. I know, but like... Starts with an S. Science. Space.

Subatomic particles. Yeah, they are. We're going to get that. We needed a winner. Jafar. How did you know? I know that. Because I watch Big Bad.

Because I mouthed it. It's a jeered. Jess and Ducko. Ducco, I very much have entered, not only the terrible twos and my kid isn't even two yet. My husband's just messaged me saying, oh my God, I've never seen a tantrum like this. She's in her tantrum phases, isn't she? She is. And all the blogs and all the podcasts, talk about that happens at two.

Here's my over-retriever doing it before two. Well, maybe by two she'll be fine. It'll be out of her system. Oh, my God. What a one. perspective. She's just an early developer, you know? Here I am thinking it's just going to ramp up.

It could too. This is the soft lawn. This could be the ethnic in her. That's the only thing people say, oh yeah, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, the, that's the, the mama coming through in her. She looks exactly like Angas, got the same coloring, the same features. But the intensity, ah, that's all my genes, baby. But so not only are we navigating that tumultuous time, I've realized we've also entered the parrot stage.

I'm sure you've got friends with children where you realize, ah, can't just do or say anything we want around the little potato, because they're not a potato anymore. They are observant. Yes. Case and point was catching up with a girlfriend the other afternoon. And Lice is quite a good independent player. So she's there within earshot, but she's doing her own thing.

I think she's not really paying attention to us. She's got a truck and some sand. She's happy. And I'm trying to explain. to my friend Carla how Angus and I, if we're describing something that's happened during the day and we were annoyed by it, we'll say,

oh, can they just piece of? And that's how we pronounce it. If we're going to write it, it's W, it's O-W-F. Right. It's not an aggressive. Eof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes it more gentle.

It does. It takes a bit of the sting out of it. Right, yeah. And I was trying to explain to Carla what had happened the previous day, where I had said that and Lucea parroted it, but didn't say, uh, just said off.

It was a bit too aggressive, and it's yucky coming from a child. Yeah, yeah, when a child's like, can they just pit off? I don't like that. Yeah, and I think it looks really bad parenting. On the parents, yeah. She hasn't got that from taking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm trying to explain this story to Carla, thinking Lucia's not listening.

Yeah. So I've said, you know, Angus and I will say, phew, and even lowered the volume of my voice. But even before I finish the F of Oof, Lucia, at the top of her lungs, in a very public place, whips her head over, remembers the reaction she got from last time and yells, Piss-off!

At the top. As if Carla's not laughing. I would have. Well, I was shocked. Yeah, yeah. People are looking or not even two-year-old swearing at her mother. Yeah.

But yes, Carla's got an older kid. She's seen it at all. What do you do? She's going to say it so much now. I know. Now it's in her vocab. You'll get calls from Dake and they'll say, um, Lucia's telling the other kids to piss off at the top of her lungs.

Um, the other children are trying to play. in the mud kitchen and your daughter's telling them all to be it off. They just want to play in the mud kitchen with her and then she's... As I said, she's very independent. You don't touch her mud muffins. She's working on the mud muffins solo. Mud muffins sound delicious.

Every day I go to pick her up, I watch for a bit, which feels weird. I swear I'm only looking at my keys. And all she's doing is putting ladles full of mud in the muffin tray. I'm like, do you have friends? They tell me she has friends, but I'm like, where are the friends? Make it other muffins. Where's Luji's friends?

Runs in the corner like, that's the big-headed piss-off girl. She's not sharing her mud, man. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Alfa bucks. Yes, indeed. 30 seconds, answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter.

We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for 10K. A player. Hell of a player, I'm told, from Babs. Oh, she's picked a goodie.

She's picked a goodie. We've got Caitlin. Hello, Caitlin. Hello, how are you? Oh, Caitlin, we couldn't be better. This is the last chance this week for someone to take 10 grand office. Is it going to be you? I hope so.

I'm optimistic. Okay. What do you want to spend the money on? I would love to go on a holiday. I've never been overseas. So New Zealand is the place I would love to go. It's the place to be. All righty.

Well, maybe once you've spent a bit of time with our neighbours in New Zealand, you'd like to pop over to another neighbour, Papua New Guinea. PNG. Because that country starts with P&G. Different holiday, New Zealand to P&G, I will be honest with you. That's a different experience. It's a different experience. You know?

It's a different experience. You know? You could carve out a bit of time. Or maybe I could go see some penguins. Oh, there you go. I see what you're doing there. Caitlin's already thinking. Or you can see the pyramids, perhaps.

Yeah, good point. That's what our last. Alpha Bucks winner wanted to go spend the money on, Caitlin. There's good juju around the pyramids. We've got a juju. Okay. All righty, Caitlin, you're ready to rock with the letter P. Okay, let's go.

Let's go, baby. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter P, we need you to name. An insect? An insect? Yep. Pass. A band.

Band? Yep. Pink Floyd? A bird. Penguin. A tool. Um, pass. A type of coffee.

Coffee? Piccolo. An adjective. Tea? A video game. Um, pass. A six-letter word. Pink.

No. Oh, no, it was five, just counting it up there. We just ran out of time. We were optimistic, but we ended up with. We were having a chat. I mean, you've got to give it a good go, right? That's all you can do. Ask it out.

Feel it out. You got four. Four. An insect, you don't think of the humble praying mantis. There's only 30 seconds. I don't have time to be clarifying. I think Caitlin was more doing it for herself. An insect.

An insect. She was trying to fill the space. She was fleshing it out. Yeah. I was, I'm sitting in the car trying to think of insects. I can't think of anything. We talked about this insect a bit working with the great slim repart. Yeah, the great praying mantis himself.

Yes. He was a shy guy. A tool would have been pliers or a paintbrush. A video game. I'm putting a ban on video game from here on Alfa Bucks. You've heard it here first. No one knows video games? No.

It'll be on every single sheet. So just study up on your video games. Hey, that's not bad. One for each letter. Yeah, Pac-Ban could have been the video game, which is an obvious one, I suppose. Six-letter word, planet or people, but by then I think we're out of momentum. Yes. Oh, yeah.

You don't go away empty-handed. You do. Oh, yeah. I was cooked after insect. I was done. You do get yourself a Wonderboom, play. So you can enjoy that one. Thank you guys so much.

Have a great Friday. Thank you, Caitlin. You have a wonderful day. Thanks for joining the show. Thank you. Hey, Ducko. Yeah. We said the last chance to play Alfa Bucks this week

while up next. Last chance to get your name in the ring for the CoFod. Louis Copoly tickets. That's right. We draw them at 9 a.m. We're just going to ask on 13, 1060. What's in your car? What's in your car right now?

Jess and Ducko. What's the weirdest thing in your car right now? I love it. Look around. Maybe you're in the car. Yeah. Well, maybe you just got to work and you think, oh, God, I know what's in my boot right now. What's in my boot?

What's in your car right now? Not in my car. I was in a mate's car who's driving me somewhere briefly the other day. And I don't often actually get in Friends' cars as much anymore. You're often the driver. Yeah. Would you say? Yeah, I'd say that.

Maybe do a bit of driving. I just haven't been in someone's car. And you're in Shy Guy's car. There's nothing in there. Not a speck of dirt. Immaculate. Yeah, just so clean. Yes.

It's either I get in maybe your car, Shaw guy's car. And that's about it. Yeah, I don't get in, like, I don't get transport any much these days with friends for some reason. I don't know why. I very much have moved out of that as well because I like an escape route. I don't like to be beholden to anyone. When I want to leave, I want to leave. And now if I nominate myself as driver, I do say to my friends, hey, but when I want to go, I'm going.

So are you happy to work yourself out? Is this good? Or will you leave when I want to leave? So my mate, Ryan, in his car, he was literally, we were driving around. I look down, I go, is that? Is that a kicking tea? Like an NRL kicking tea? He doesn't play footy.

That's my first question. Has not played footy in a decade. And he's like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, why do you have that? He goes, never know when you need it. I need you to get inside Ryan's head here. He's your friend. A possible scenario could come up that a kicking tea would come in handy.

Because there was no ball. It was just a kicking tea, but no ball, right? So then anyway, I'm ferreiting and ready's car because I like to touch things. Like, I like looking around other people's stuff. You can't raw dog boredom. No. You are fidgety. Catch me doing that.

I look around in the back. Guess what he has? What did he have? You'll love this. A Donahaye cookbook. Okay. And I'm like, why do you have that? Donahey, one of the greats.

Why do you have a Donahe? He's like, well, you know, Donahey cookbook? But it's sitting in the back seat, like, you know, the slip of the front seat that you can put stuff in? Yeah. It was just sitting in there. You know what I was about to say? When you might have kept your book of maps back in the day. I don't know what that pocket's for.

The refid X, whatever was. Yeah, yeah, whatever that, I can't even remember what they're bloody called, the book. It doesn't stop there though There's one more thing He's a peculiar man He's gone for the trifectar Binoculars But why do you have binoculars

Now see that feels like the least weird thing to me But also creepy You're a married man Why are binoculars in your car Is he a birdwatcher No that's why my mind straight wet Unless that's his hobby And he was too embarrassed to tell me

I think my biggest issue is the Donahe Cookbook tucked in Like if he had just bought it And was meaning to bring it inside What good's a cookbook so far away from a kitchen? No idea. And he obviously never used it, but he was defending. He's like, yeah, I love Donahey.

I'm like, yeah, Donahey's fantastic. You never know when the mood will strike to have a little kick of a ball. I'll have to find a ball and make some brownies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then watch something from far away. Watch the people on the beach from far away. That is an odd combo. Bizarre.

It was just hilarious. It made me think, like, in your car, you always have weird and random things, particularly if you've had that car for years. Yes, yes. The weirdest thing in my car. And I don't even know if it's weird, but it's just a sign of laziness. I've got a bag of clothes. I've been meaning to donate genuinely for eight months.

I put it in the footwell of the back seat, which I hardly ever go. Unless I'm taking Lucia in and out. And then you look and you go, I've got to deal with that. But it's never a purposeful mission to go dump it. So for eight months, it's probably mouldy now, this bag of clothes. Someone's going to open that thinking these clothes are great. They are not donate words right now. I still do it.

But it begs the question, maybe you're not someone who cleans out your car. Unlike Shiger, who has a lot of car pride. Yeah, yeah. What's been sitting in your car for way too long ago? I probably should address that. Yeah, is it like a bit of food that's left over? Probably. Something big gunky and disgusting.

Yeah, or it's just something you, like Ryan, you never know when the mood will strike. When I need this kicking too. 131060, what's in your car right now? Look around. Look around. Jess and ducco. Yes and ducco.

Look around if you are in your vehicle. Or just reflect. I don't know I've got something a bit odd in my boot. And if I was to drive me mate around, they might question it like you did with your mate Ryan. I had a kicking tea and there hasn't played footy in a decade. Didn't even have a ball in the car. That's the issue. Yeah.

You don't know when the mood's going to strike, but you're going to need something to kick off the tea. It's like he's Batman. Just like when that signal goes off. He's like, I've got a tea if anyone needs it. It feels like me with, you know, oh God, I could go with a Mcwing. You know, I'll find myself a McGwing. You've got one under your seat. Always.

It just sits there. I'm not silly. They never go bad. Ryan goes, God, I'd love a kick. Yeah, just want to go. Even shadow kicking, just like there's no ball. He's just going out and practicing and pretending. That's not a thing.

Is that a thing? I've heard of air guitar. I've not heard of air kicking. You saw someone doing that in the park. They've lost it. You'd call them triples. Yeah, yeah. He's also got binoculars and a Donahe cookbook.

The cookbook is what upsets me the most. Take it into the kitchen. Leave it where it needs to be. How are you going to make her chicken chow? Oh, such good chicken chow too. She's the queen of chicken chow. God, Donahe has done wonders for the mothers of the world. Yes.

My mum had so many Donahey cookbooks. She's the queen, man. So many. She's the queen. That and Jamie Oliver's lemon chicken. Oh, do you know what? I didn't mind his, like, what was it? Like five ingredients or less.

I'm like, yes, Jamie. Let's go, Jamie. Thank you. Karina, on 13, 1060. What is in your car? I have the good old Saxa table salt shaker. Is it full of salt, Karina? Is it an empty one?

It is actually, it is full of salt, yes. Yeah. What's your logic? You know how many times you go through a drive-through, and then you drive away and you start eating your chips and you're like, You want more salt? Oh, where's the salt? Oh, that's great.

Karina, how many times did that happen to you where you took matters into your own hands? And you're like, right, I'm buying myself car salt. Yep, just one of those little mini ones. It just sits in the side of the door. It's actually genius. That is so good. I've got a maid who has the mini Tabasco on her key ring because you can buy key ring attachments for hot sauce. She's like, I always want hot sauce.

Carina's the same. The salt on the chips. That's very practical. That is fantastic. Sue, good morning. Hi. How are you? Yeah, great.

What's in your car right now? That's a little odd. I have one of those walking tape measures. What's a walking tape measures? Oh, roll. So when you roll, it measures out a metre and it clicks. Oh, so like an umpire would do on a field. Why do you have that?

Oh, who knows? You know, I'll have it used for it one day. Well, hang on a minute. Have you never used it, but you've got it just in case. Just in case, because you just never know when you're going to need to measure something. I need to measure out two metres. Well, lucky you've come to the ride gal. You know who we need to call Sue.

Sue's got to. That walking tape measure. What could you possibly ever get the call? This is as weird as Ryan with the kicking tape. It is. That's funny. Or would you need to measure on a field or an office or... Also, it's not a normal tape measure, a walking tape measure.

I do love that. What a power move in that moment to be like, guys, you're not going to believe what I've got in my car. A walking tape measure. They are cool. When you walk and it clicks when you go over the meter. Like, it is kind of nice. Alex, good morning.

Good morning, guys. How you doing? Yeah, great. I love this. You're going to dobs something in your wife's car. Yeah, my wife's car is just full of rent. their little ornaments. It's got like crystal bats, little mushrooms. The other thing she's really into at the moment is ghost face.

Just ghost face stuff all through the car. Sorry, do you mean like a costume, like to make herself look like a ghost? No, you know, a scary movie, I think it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a scream mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, that's terrifying. Yeah, it's everywhere. There's, in the cup holders, they're everywhere. And bullies. She's just, it's just random collections of little pieces that,

It makes your car look messy I know Halloween's around the corner But why would you need a scream mask constantly Everywhere in the car And more than one? Yeah, no, just scattered around Rihanna, what is in your car? Well, at the moment, it is a life-sized skeleton

That you can get from Kmart All right, I'm assuming this is a run-up to Halloween again No, no Do you put it in the passenger lane So you can jump in the T2 if you ever need it? Yeah, yeah, you can't, You can count for. You have to keep it in the back.

And if you're going on a road trip, like I once was, you put it in the boot, and yes, it looks concerning saying a skeleton sitting in the boot, but that's okay. Why? Why do you have it? I don't understand. I can send you a photo.

Okay, cool. What's its name? Jerry. Jerry the skeleton. Thank you, Rihanna. Apart from the salt, no one has justification. There is no, and you know what? I guess that's not what we didn't ask for that.

We said what's in there. Kim, wrap this up for us, babe. What is in your car at the moment? So I'm a nurse. I'm actually heading home from work right now, and I have a chicken named Suk. Sorry, it's alive. Yes. What does a nurse and chicken have to do with anything, or are you a vet nurse?

No, I take it in sometimes to be able to go and see my clients who absolutely love him. He just, he's such a sook. He'll just sit on them. Oh, gosh, he's like a therapy, a therapy chicken. Well, he's not meant to be. He's just a sook that he just loves sitting there. He loves the attention. She's just got a chicken.

And then do you leave the chicken in the car, go home, have a sleep, come back, and he just stays in your car? No, he'll go home and the kids will play with him and keep him busy. He's still on the clock. Can you put the chicken on? Is the chicken can make sound effects in the moment? No, not at the moment. I can make chicken sounds, though.

I'll take Kim doing it. What's your chicken's name again? Sorry, silk. Sook. Can you give me your best impression of sook? Well, he's meant to be a rooster, so he's only young at the moment, so he's not crowing. But eventually he will crow and pretty much sound a bit like... That's a hell of a rooster.

You keep teaching him how to crow. You get silk up. Oh, that's like you're the mama. You're the mama. Teaching the rooster how to do he. Does he have like a little softer crow right now? Like... Eh!

Sounds like Kim's... strangling him. I know you'd never. You would never. Thank you, Kim. That takes the cake. That's fun. A live chook in your car.

Taking it to work. I want to bring my chook to work next week. I would love to. I'd love a pat of your chook. Yes and ducco. Right now though, it's time for another edition of what seems to be still called the producer's diary. That's right.

Even though Babs has been working diligently behind the scenes all year, it was very much shy guy's diary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas something happened a couple of weeks ago and he over opened the door. Yeah, he let her in. Invited her in. Now it's the producer's diary.

Welcome to the big leagues, kid. I want to hear your insights, Bab. Let's chuck them in the diary. What have you noted down this week? It's nice. It's seeing them work together. It is. The brother's sister duo, you know what I mean?

The brains trust. I can imagine them just riffing, you know? It's a white room with a white board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just throw, no idea is a bad idea. Shagas drops down a beat for Shigai. Shagga's just like, yeah, yeah, diary this week. What are we got.

They're jazzing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly what happened. Yeah. Look at a jazz band On the fly So anyway, is it a good week? It's a good week.

Seven and a half. Oh, jeez. They're always seven and a half. It's so. Babbs? Middling. I'll raise it to an eight. Oh.

Hello and eight, Ducco. What a week it's been with Jess and Ducco? Oh, hang on a minute. Babs, you've written officially. I thought it was unofficial because Guinness weren't there. Is she there? No, you're not coming through, Babs. You're pressing the roll button?

Oh, sorry. The Brisbane Broncos won the 2025 NRL grand final. The drone is over. The Broncos have won the competition. I bet you didn't know that the team are also listed on the Australian Stock Exchange. And, even more shockingly, that Ducker would become their next investor. I bought $300 worth. I don't know why I did that.

I just bought, I'm Morgan's going to fucking do it. I said one. I said $1.6. You know, you said you got me so confident. Like, you should. Now I feel like I own the place. But I don't know anything about the bruncos? Do I just...

Let me refresh. Maybe you altered how the market's going here. Is he the number one shareholder? Oh, oops. I'm looking at all my other shares that I bought. Oh, I have not bought it. In one, I bought $10. One's like a...

$300. Is there anything in that? I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, God. Oopsie. I don't know what I'm doing. $300. Why did I do that?

I didn't even buy... Like, in Vanguard, I spent $77 on like shares. What? Why did I buy it? That is. You're in the height, baby. You're in the hype. Come on.

No one's going to bring me down. A huge scandal rocked the team this week regarding Bads' beloved fish tank. Wait, why is it my fish tank? It's just is. It's been 24 hours. This is ridiculous. No, you seem suss now.

Oh, you're a suspect. Okay. This whole thing is just funny. So, actually, how is it funny? One of the fish has disappeared. Have some empathy. Is it your own question? I mean, it's fish in a tank, but then today...

Hey, man, if this was Little Ducko. I wouldn't notice for weeks. By the time I did, I'd like, oh. Get that smirk off your face. A long weekend where we didn't feed them for a few days. Perhaps what's the extra food? Yeah, I put extra food. Did you cover enough food for them for a long weekend?

Yeah, I did. Also, why is it coming back to me? Well, you're the care of the fish. It's not on her. You would have put extra food. It's not funny. Stop laughing. It is funny. It is funny.

I can't believe how... There's two different moods in this room. Go scoop him out and see how we feel. No, I know you do. I want to get to the bottom of this. So where the hell's a fish? Where's my fish? Where's my fish?

I thought me and Shagai were friends. Now we aren't. This is why. What did you do yesterday? What was the conversation? What did she did yesterday? It was put Snapchat filters on me. Oh, that was funny as actually.

That was good. The CD-Ball one. Yeah, I did have a good lull at that. Fat guy was very funny. Yeah, fat guy, shark, I was funny as. You should see the one I got a review with a moustache. Oh, no, that was no filter for that one. Oh!

Apply water to burn! Yeah. Have you been... Did you think about that? That did not just come out there. You've pre-played that. He looked like he read that. That was play in the year.

He's the worst improviser. Yeah, you can't think on your feet. No, no, no, no, I did. You took a photo of her yesterday, you saw she had a moustache. And so you're like, I'm going to hold this over her. Poor Babsy, what do you say back to that? Okay, fair enough. I haven't been waxed for a while.

They make them boys go local. They want my treasures so they get their pleasures from my boats. We know Jess has been working out before the show every day. She's levelled up her gym game with a post-gym protein shake, but I think the poor bitch has forgotten how to drink. See, when I drink the protein shake, I wrap all my lips around. Oh, no, you got it. I do the half, top lip covering half.

Maybe that's my issue. So you're going like this. Yes. And it feels awful. It's not angers. You see why it's... Oh, that would be horrible. You see why it's horrible.

Like, I only do that on his birthday. And not every day is May 29. Once a year I do that. That's why I... Now, what do get PTSD from it? You get it. That's so weird. You get it.

I can't believe that's how you drink. I've got terrible. techniques. Every time I see one of those lids, I'm going to think about you putting like a pelican, like over, fully a... And then just this tidal wave of liquid entering me.

Yeah, it would be so, it would be so aggressive. It's horrific. I've been on this show for almost two years and I think that this takes the cake for one of the most awkwardest things we're ever done on air. And it involves you, shy guy. Oh, I would tickle, tickle, tickle. It feels good.

That feels good. ticklish? I actually... Nah. No. I'm not really. Are you sure I go? Give him a tickle, Jess.

Give him a little tockle matter. With pleasure. Oh, Babs, watch this. This is going to be fun. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. This is uncomfortable as I imagine. Tickle, tickle. Get off.

See you next week, Rice, Goose. Hoor. Jess and Ducko. Welcome to Friday team. We are here. We've made it. It been a hell of a week. Been a great show thus far.

If you missed any of it, grab it on the podcast, on the listener round. If you would like to see something pretty cool, shy guy has used his AI powers for good. And on the Jess and Ducko Instagram, you can have a little look at six-year-old Jess, Ducko, shy guy and babes, embraced with our current day selves.

Yeah, it's that trend that's going around. Yeah, it's like hug your younger self or hug my younger self trend. Very spooky because... It's so spooky how it's manipulated, well, both images to bring them together. Yeah. You got a photo of me forward-facing. made me hug myself on the side. The look that your six-year-old self is giving your 34-year-old self-ducco,

it's really doing something to the heartstrings. My, six-year-old me loves me. Six-year-old me. He's only human. Six-year-old you is so proud of the 34-year-old. Why six-year-old shy guy touching big shy guy's snake? That's a great question. And why's Babs is holding herself up and she's just hanging.

I mean, that's just showing off her upper body strength in the modern day. Oh, Little Babs is very cute. Little Babs is gorgeous So if you'd like to go have a look That is on the Jess and Ducker Instagram page I look like I've been stung by a bee Just quietly

But AI does wonderful things I feel like Little Babs wore that last week To work Do you mean adult babes War what Little Babs wore What Little Babs wore to work Hey man fashion Even the six year old fashion

Has come back around 20 years later But we've got to get to business Duckow We do We're getting away some Lewis Capolty tickets That's right It's been our co-fod

Every day We're filling his stadium At the end of the year With Rice Cookers Yeah, yeah, we are. We've had some great contributions today. Honourable mentions to Alec. Our No dumb thought.

No dumb thought. Friday talking about pigeons being journalists. The birds being journalists. At the crime scenes of roadkill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that mean on their news, it's like Ducko's picture on Crime Stoppers' bird edition? Yeah. Because you're the one who was driving the car.

This four, Everest, just squish this bird. Exactly. But yes, honourable mention, Alec, sorry, you're not going. Didn't get it. We got and co-past Karina. Yep. Who just about an hour ago, when we asked, what's the weirdest thing in your car right now?

She said a miniature tub bottle of sacks are salt because she hates it when her chips aren't salted enough. Yep. She can take care of business herself. We think that's genius. She's doing it. In fact, it's not even weird. I think that's the smartest thing she could have in her car.

She's off to lowest, baby. That little pocket of rice cookers at his concert. It's going to be lit. You'll be sitting next to each other just going, Yes. This was free, baby. Hell, yeah. How did you guys get you?

Oh, my son, me too. It's so good. You got your front mullet because you put your headphones and one was dangling down. Something was feeling a bit off. Yeah, yeah. But yes, Karina. Well done. Well done to you.

Thanks for getting involved in the show. It's all yours. Next week, exciting on the show. Another co-fob. We're doing it again, baby. We'd send you to Friday's life every day. That's right. Next Saturday, Mariah, Pitbull, Lil-Chon.

Liz Khalifa, Jordan's Buck. Eve. They are taken over NG Stadium. They're bringing a bunch of other maids and we want you to be in that stadium. How good with that, B. Plus, if you get through, you're also in a bald cap. So, you know.

Look, no disrespect to Mariah. Yeah. I think she is the headline. Yeah. Her name's always last on the bill to talk about. It's Mariah, Mariah. We aren't giving you Mariah wigs. We're giving your bald caps to salute Pitbull.

Pitbull would be fantastic live. He's going to be awesome. It'd be good. Yeah, we're giving away double pass every single day on the show next week. So just get involved. It's that easy. It's that easy. Anything else you guys want to add from what's been a fantastic short of week?

You have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Yeah, be good to yourself. Catch yourselves on the back, we made it. Be kind to you this week. Look yourself in the mirror and go, yes. I'm enough. I am enough. My six-year-old self would be high-fiving my adult self.

I'm doing it. Yeah. Shag, I think you want to add? Babs saying you want to add? You've got to stop ending on them, Daco, because it really ends the week flat. One day, one day they're going to say, yeah, actually there is something, Dachan, I'll go, what is it, Babs? She'll come out with an absolute zinger.

Yeah, she'll come up with something really good. You want to see me. I was just doing parkour out here. Oh, yeah. Me and Chago, we're doing somersaults. We're doing forwards rolls. Because I was doing a bit of forward roll. I said, Chaga, do a roll.

Tadco, no offense. You're closer to the ground. Yeah, yeah. Somersault forward roll from you. No worry. Seeing the long lanky man trying to do a roll. Can you bend your body back? The whole thing.

I'm going to feel out of form now. Oh, precious. I'm not going to do that. I got carpet. Babbs was making it do it. We tried to make her doing. She's like, no, I'm in a dress. Oh, we'll get her.

Well, let's continue forward rolling into the weekends. Shagga and I have started sort of team parkour. It's a bit of a thing we do. I love that for you, Bond. Yeah, we just go to parks and we just jump on and off chairs and stuff. Just looking for an empty skateboard. We don't speak. We're just going like, just around us.

Can you mic yourselves up? You know, if you're an R.O. Players or tennis players sometimes. I'd love to hear the soundtrack of Shy Guy and Ducko's park. I've actually got the sound of Shago doing parko with me. He enjoys that carpetburn a little too much. I'm at my eyes. Anyway, team, it's been fun. It's been wonderful.

And as they say in Italy, Ciao de Bella. Most very, yeah. Much de bare. Chao. We will. See you next week.

That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. The new McCrispia has arrived at Macias. Try it today.