Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Big fans of the foot fetish

Episode Date: February 2, 2025

Ducko had 2 very different weekends, Jess got all stage mum at the ballet and we ask what do you regret?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's new McSmart Meal is here. Get a cheeseburger, small fries and soft drink, plus your choice of a side for just $6.95. T's and C's apply. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo Podcast. Welcome to the podcast, everyone. Shotguy's left us early today, so he won't be in the podcast. Unbelievable. Unbelievable from him. Yeah, horrible. What's he work hard for 12 months and thinks, ah, the new year, new me. I'm going to be calling in, calling it short. Week three, I'm out of here to get my car fixed.

Have you seen the Dentonese car? I've seen photos of it. How big is it? Oh, it's pretty, there's a couple of them. From one trolley? Yeah, well, I think she just like slammed it right into the trolley. It was this old lady who hit him with a trolley. He saw it on his car cam.

Which I can't comprehend that the dash cam did capture it because don't dash cams face forward? Well, I'm pretty sure she came from like the sidewalk and it like came into her. Yes, but a dash cam faces forward. How big is the fish eye on this thing? I can't fathom a quarter coming out from the side. Do you think Sharky did it to himself and he's pretending that, you know, it was someone else? And he's lying to us because then he had to go.

It's a cry for help. It's a cry for help. The only time he could get it fixed was during our show, so he had to leave at 8.30. Have you seen the video? No. It's funny. There's actually a video he showed me.

So you can see her coming at it. You can see it and then she looks around for so long to see if anyone saw her. Because it was just on the street, right? We should have done this on air. Absolutely. We sort of chatted about it. I don't know if we actually have. What'd you catch on camera?

Have we done that? We did do that. We did that. Where people falling out of their doors and like. Oh, you're right. The safety cams. Oh, you're right. I think he won a prize, that guy.

Yeah, he did. Tripping over his rock. Yeah, and we saw the videos. They sent us the videos. You're absolutely right. Yeah, yeah. That was fun. We could have done it again.

Fuck sure. I got to New Year. Or like, something about the old lady. Like, what the old lady thinks she could get away with, you know? Oh, yeah. Because I love that this grandma has... Old ladies in the wild. Yeah.

Because I've told you, when I hit 75... Oh, yeah. Watch the fuck out. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go on a rampage. Why not? I won't be stopping at stop signs. No.

I'll be coming straight out with my trolley into park cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She probably didn't like the look of the Mazda. I'll be farting in public, audibly loud. Audibly. I'll be standing way too close to people in queues. Breathing down their neck. Breathing down their neck.

I'll be getting people to pull my whiskers out from my chin. Oh, I love that. I'll just be taking things out of your hand. If you've got the last bag of grapes or woolies, I'll be like, you don't eat them, young man. I'm going to die tomorrow, potentially. I'll be taking those grapes. Give it to Aunty Jessie.

Come here. That was me being you. Why are mine auntie? I don't know. I'm going to die tomorrow, potentially. I'll be taking those grapes. Give it to Aunty Jessie. Come here. That was me being you. Why are mine Aunty? I feel weird saying, calling you Granny Jessie. I don't care. What would I be? I would like to be a nonna. Nonna. I don't know what my grandparent name would be. I think I have to change my name because Jessica is not very Italian.

So you can call me like Nonna Fabrizia. That's what I'll go when I'm 75. I'm like, Nan, Nonna, why Fabrizia? That's not your name. It is, child. It is. Come on, you want a lasagna again? Fabrizia or Flavia?

Which one do you think? Fabrizia. Flavia to me reminds me of farting. I don't know why. It just does. Flavia. Flavia reminds me of labia. Oh, yeah.

See, so let's go for Fabrizia. I think it's the LA. Okay, Fabrizia. Speaking of grandparents, we were just discussing off-air Babs' grandparents. Yeah, big fans of the show. We need to utilize them more. I couldn't agree more. You've got one sweet, sweet grandma, Meryl, who I just don't want to exploit.

No, she's deaf, and she thinks she hears me all the time, but she doesn't because she lives in Brisbane. She doesn't have the listener app, I'll tell you that much for fucking free. So what is she hearing? I heard you say. You in her head? Because my name's Nick. She goes, I heard you, Nicky. I was listening.

And I was like, oh, really? How? And she's like, yeah, no, I did hear you. And when I'm like, no. Does she just hear a man on a radio? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, okay.

But she always watches me on the Today Show now. She gets her kicks out of that. So I'm not exploiting Meryl. Whereas Babs' grandparents, who feel young. They're young. They're young and loose. They look very vibrant. They're only 70.

Okay. Jesus, my in-laws are 70. Yeah. So I think, what did you say about Grandma Brian? She really likes Chapel Rhone now. Because you know what? Because Pink Pony Club, it's a strip club. Grandma Brian knows what she's...

Well, I don't think she knows that. Well, do you know what we should do? She's lived. Remember that game we played with my mum and I got her to try and describe for you and you had to decipher what she was talking about? Definitely do this. Can you sit down with Grandma Brian? The lyrics.

Play her her favourite songs, get the lyrics up and then get her to explain what they're about? Sure. We will guess what song. Do it to Pink Pony Club, Jelly Roll. Yep. Whatever. Who else? Lunch.

Billie Eilish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny actually. I want Grandma Brian You do have to record the audio Of them describing the song Because then Jess and I Will try and guess

What the song is they're describing They'll be quiz master Yeah yeah yeah Can you do that And you'll be facilitator That'd be fun I can do that When's the next time

You're going back out to the farm I was there on the weekend Oh okay Our boss Sorry our GM I saw him in the urinal Having awkward urinal chats With your dicks out

Yeah yeah Oh yeah I'll swing him around. Show me yours, monkey. That didn't happen. I want to reiterate that. I didn't look down. I was just trying to survive a Monday morning urinal chat. And he goes, I went to Maitland on the weekend. I go, oh, did you see Billy's

family? Did you really? And he goes, what? Did he say yes? I said, did you see Babs' family? They're the mayor and mayoress. You would think. Yeah, come on. Don't they have a welcome party for anyone who drives through? Surely they do. They stand at the gate.

Surely they do. But why did he go there? Did he say? People are allowed to go. Babs is like, why go there? Anyway. Maybe he was visiting Grandma Brian. Maybe.

Maybe he was going to the Windsor Castle. Oh, yeah. They do have good chicken parmy. Nah, parmy. That was voted the best parmy when we did it. Absolutely. Anyway. I think he was going to the Windsor Castle. Oh, yeah. They do have good chicken parmi. Mad parmi. That was voted the best parmi when we did it. Absolutely. Anyway. Two at a par.

So, yeah, definitely Babs will utilize your grandparents. That's fine. And then what can we get Grandpa Brian to do? Well, I reckon they both do the same thing. Oh, should Grandpa Brian come in and play wordy-okey? Yeah, can they play games? Oh, yeah, probably. They live kind of far away, though.

Where do they live? They live in this place called Narong, which is up near Hawksnest. Doesn't sound right. So, okay, it's going to have to be, yeah. How are you going to get the audio of them? Surely a trip into town is very exciting. Yeah, they do do trips. How far is that drive from?

Like an hour. Oh, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. You can drive up there to get this audio for the show. Yeah, exactly. It's very exciting. Yeah, they do do trips. Yeah. How fast does that drive from? Like an hour. Oh, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. You can drive up there to get this all ready after the show. Yeah, exactly. It's a tax write-off. Yeah, conquer it. How is your car going, by the way?

Not good. Are we still on the way out of that thing? Yeah. Do you need to finish up early tomorrow to take yours in for a service? No, it's okay. The roof's just falling and it's fine. Okay. Sounds good to me.

Okay. Good luck with that. Thanks. Okay, sounds good to me Okay, good luck with that Thanks From the queen of pasta. I busted a hole in my gym shorts because of me chub rub and now I need new gym shorts. To the king of casual chaos. To get reincarnated and come back a fish would be the worst thing. Shy guy.

Let's play hide and seek, but we just won't come find you. Jim Zeta Babs. Johnson. Johnson. Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducko. Great camera action. Good morning. Right on six o'clock. Nonsense. Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducker. Great camera action.

Good morning. Right on six o'clock. Welcome to a new week, team. Welcome to Monday. Good morning. Good morning. Morning, Indy. How are you, brother?

I'm good. I'm good. How are you? I'm pretty good. I woke up with a pep in my step. Yes. I put on one of my favorite t-shirts, only to be greeted by Shy Guy, with the words, you have weird clothes. Your shirt's got bread all over it.

It says, breads of the world. Yeah, it is weird. I said, Shy Guy. You're dipping into weird, quirky territory. I said, Shy Guy, you have permission to look at my titties. Look at me shirt. He went, I said, garlic bread. And I was like, no, read it properly.

He goes, you have weird clothes. Yeah. I thought it was some sort of biker's shirt, because that's the text it gives biker. Okay. Like Harley Davidson. Oh, sure. Does it? You and I have different sort of biker's shirt because that's the text. It gives biker. Okay. Like Harley Davidson. Oh, sure. Does it? You and I have different images of bikers.

I didn't look at it very intently. A bunch of bread loaves with red writing. Why did I notice the bread and two point and two? I am a tough nut like those bikers out there. So I was feeling fantastic when I got out of bed, but I've really been brought crashing down to earth. Okay. But I'm glad to be here for a fresh week.

Yeah, new start. New start. New month. New co-fod. It's all happening. Jeez, we do have a new co-fod. We have Billie Eilish tickets every day this week. Every single day.

And accommodation. And accommodation. And we're not making you jump through any Billie-related hoops. No. You've just got to get involved in the show. I still want to play the game Babs or Billie. You have to guess. I reckon we do that on Friday. Let's do that on Friday. We'll give that a rip and tear. Yeah, that's fun. Just to get some Bab involved in the show. I still wanted to play the game Babs or Billy. You had to guess. I reckon we do that on Friday.

Let's do that on Friday. We'll give that a rip and tear. Yeah, that's fun. Just to get some Babs facts out there. I love that. Do we do all Babs facts? I think so. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Just three Babs facts that are really obscene. Really weird. But yeah, we do have those every day. Cool. The co-fod. Plus, we've still got AlphaWalks. Your chance at 10K, 6.30 and 8 o'clock.

There's so much. There's a lot going on. So much to be joyful about. So much to be joyful about. So much to be joyful about. So maybe one of your closest friends disses you today. Don't worry about that. Hey. Look to the positive.

Yes. Find the joy. I actually went to your favourite restaurant on the weekend. Tuh. I went there. Celebrating something or just having a date night? How's this? This is ludicrous.

We dined at 8.30. We did the 8.30 dinner spot late. Okay. Late. I've been meaningined in at 8.30. We did the 8.30 dinner spot. Late. Late. I've been meaning to ask you this. Are you just trying to tick off everything that you will not be able to do come mid-April? I am milking that cow. I am milking it dry.

For anyone, mid-April, obviously, when the baby will arrive. 8.30 booking. Yeah, because that's all they had. And Morgan's like, should we just do it? I was like, we're both going to be very tired. I'm a hungry girl, but my stomach turns off at 8.30. Listen to this day. We went to a 3.30 movie in Gold Class and ate, and then went to an 8.30 dinner.

Wow. What a weird day. What a weird day. What a thing to tick off. Yeah, we just did it before we can have a child. That's fair. And before dinner, we were both very tired. Absolutely. And so did you say you got snacks in the movie as well? Yeah, I got popcorn. I was eating popcorn a child. That's fair. And before dinner, we were both very tired. Absolutely.

And so did you say you got snacks in the movie as well? Yeah, I got popcorn. I was eating popcorn and Maltesers at 3 p.m. And then you had a proper dinner at 8.30. You were even proud of me. I am very proud of you. My guts were going for it. If that's all the booking they had, I love that you didn't go,

no, let's not do it. You still did it. I was still busy and we still did it. We went for it. But, you know, eating dinner late. That is, it's very Mediterranean. It is. Not for me.

Which at the beginning makes you go, oh, we could be in Italy. And then you go, but we're not. I did slip into holiday. I slipped into holiday vibes. And I was like, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. We have a baby due soon. Absolutely.

I'm going to work on Monday. Yeah. It was a bit weird. Still, though, it's been fun. I am proud of you. Thank you. Very good. Thank you.

I love it. I love it. You know, I am a fan of saying, tell me everything you eat, but we'll do that off air. Yeah, good. I appreciate the rice cook as my... Not tell me everything as much. I think I sat on the table where you sat, where you were telling us on air, where you can hear the conversations.

Stop it. Yeah. Because I can hear them. Did you have a first date next to you or anything? No. Okay. They weren't talking very much, the dates next to me. You could tell they were very established couples because they were sitting in a lot

of silence. Okay. Just eating. Enjoying their meal. Yeah, just eating. Having some peace and quiet. I felt weird for talking to Morgan. I was like, is this the silent area?

I think this is the quiet zone. You know, like they used to have smoking and non-smoking in restaurants. I think they need to have established relationships, don't need to make chit-chat, just here to enjoy. Just here to enjoy. We're just eating. We don't care. And the rambunctious corner.

Yeah. How was your weekend, Shaga? It was good. Didn't do too much. Okay. But you seem a bit animated today, doesn't he? Do I? Yeah, you've got a bit of a pernicious corner. Yeah. How was your weekend, Shaga? It was good. Didn't do too much. Okay, but you seem a bit animated today, doesn't he? Do I? Yeah, he's got a bit of a pep in his step. Yeah, he's a bit of a pep in his step.

Something's going on. No, nothing's going on. He's getting his car fixed today. I am getting my car fixed. Thanks to a lady in a trolley who decided to bang into it. But that's all right. When was that? Last week.

Caught her on dash cam, though. Are we going to name and shame? No, let's name her. Let's post a video on our Instagram. Yeah. Do you know this criminal? Do you know this criminal? Instagram, find this person.

Yeah, let's do that. That'd be fun. You can't be rolling trolleys in. Think of how many people's cars she may have rolled trolleys into because you're not going to stop her. Serial trolley killer. Yeah, vigilante. Nah.

Okay. What? We catch her out. That's right. And. What? We catch her out. That's right. We save other people's vehicles. We get her to go, I want Shy Guy's box. Oh, you wanted a box. Maybe she is a rice cooker.

She doesn't even know. She could be. She doesn't even know Shy Guy's Mazda. That fits our wheelhouse. Yeah. That would happen. But yes, it is a big show. It's a big week of shows.

It is. It is. It was a lot of fun to be had. Coming up next. Okay. We're not into revenge unless it's hilarious. Yeah. And I think this next story, tipping into it.

Well, we want to get revenge on Trolley Lady. Okay. Maybe we can use the tactics we learn in this story. Okay. Track down this woman and hit her with some video content. We're going to go to Wales for this first story, Ducko. Obviously. Mate, the guy deserves a pay rise.

Do you have the Wales National Anthem? I do. Handy in your kit, in your little audio tool belt. I do. I've got my Wales National Anthem. That's unbelievable. Thank you so much. I've peeped already.

You have impressed me recently with your audio kit and that. My audio kit. My toolkit of audio. I gave you again about three seconds saying we're going to go to Wales next, Ducco. Are you ready? And here we are. You are.

And God, what an aggressive anthem that was. It was a bit yelly. It sounds like all men in that. Like, are there no ladies in Wales who could have contributed? Yeah, it doesn't sound like it. Very. It's getting priestly, isn't it? It is.

It sounds churchy. Yeah. You know, we've got one Welsh listener. We do. A good friend of the show. IBS Deb. Oh, my God. Uch ar Deb. Uch ar Deb. We out to Deb. IBS Deb. Oh, my God. Oochah, Deb.

Oochah, Deb. We are in Wales. Deb's countryman. Yeah. Her kin we're talking about. Unfortunately, not under the best circumstances. Rhiannon is her name, the star of this story. I'm not even going to attempt to pronounce the region in Wales she's from.

There's a lot of vowels there. There's a bit on. She was arrested, Ducker. Arrested in her home. Police came to her house and arrested her for harassment. Now, that is no joking matter. But the method of which this woman, Rhiannon, was harassing her ex-partner, his new partner.

So the bloke's moved on, found himself a new misdemeanor. Oh, I see. She somehow got this woman's phone number. Yep. They like to WhatsApp, apparently. Deborah. Deborah's the new partner. I don't understand WhatsApp.

People love WhatsApp. It just doesn't do it for me. The Northern Hemisphere, I think they love WhatsApp. They're not on iMessage, they're on WhatsApp. Encrypted. No one can hack you. What? Well, who cares?

And WhatsApp, don't just automatically save the photo that someone WhatsApps me into my Every conversation, you've got to turn that off. It is ridiculous. And even when you turn it off sometimes, it then turns it back on. They appear. Oh, my God. I don't need that in my camera roll. Like I've told you, I'm in three family WhatsApp messages.

My auntie's just sending me photos of the chickens that she's painted. Oh, my God. And then you're going through your camera roll going, who's... Why are we doing this? Why are these chickens taking up valuable metadata? Yeah, it's ridiculous. Have we had a Facebook Messenger or even iMessage? Oh, 100%.

DM. Just text me. Anyway, Rhiannon is WhatsAppping Debra, harassing her, Ducker, with a series of videos. In the official statement from the cops, this is what it reads. They are videos of Rhiannon passing wind, her face smiling at the camera. She sent multiple, multiple. You know, you miss Babs' face. She just looks up from her computer and she's giggling away.

This is something Babs would do. Yeah, this is. Careful because it could get you arrested in a place like Wales. Inappropriate videos where she proceeds to pass gas by placing the camera on her bottom in some of them and like farting into the screen. And then others where she's holding it up and smiling as the gas is released. So she's just staring at the camera smiling and it's just slowly seeping out. Slowly seeping out. They are audible.

Unfortunately, when they were admitted into evidence, they weren't made for public consumption. So we can't get the actual evidence. That's a brilliant crime though, because, you know, that's disgusting to witness. A hundred percent. The prosecutor, the one charging Rhiannon, said she wanted to send videos because she felt her partner was being treated unfairly. So she tried to say, I'm only harassing the new partner because she's not treating the man correctly.

She's not treating, what's a good Welsh name? What is a good Welsh name? Gareth. Gareth. She's not treating Gareth just like I wanted. That's right. So instead of, I don't know, just trying to win Gareth back, she's trying to turn on Debra, teach her a lesson by sending her farting videos.

And so she's been done for what? Harassment. Interesting. Like literally got arrested in her house. She found it hilarious, but the victim did not. She must have really been and sucked in. You're sending that on WhatsApp. That's saving to your phone.

That's saving to your phone. You're not getting rid of exhibits A through E. Yeah. Oh, it's another one. The victim said, I want to feel safe in my home. And she was attacking me essentially in my home. Oh, wow. By getting through to my WhatsApp.

So, okay. This is a good revenge story. At the time she sent these videos, there had been some drinks. She'd had some drinks and she sent them. That just makes, I'm hoping she'd had Indian or something as well. She'd sent them without malicious intent, I bet. Without malicious intent. I bet. Who doesn't love sending a good fart video to their partner, the new partner?

So she's been fined. How much would you fine in a Welsh court? Now, remember this is in pounds. Pounds, okay. How much do you fine in a Welsh court? Now, remember, this is in pounds. Pounds, okay. How much do you think the charge, the compensation is? Is it like 50 pounds? It's 100 pounds. Call of Fame of the day.

At the end of the show, someone's walking away with a double pass to Billie Eilish. That's wild. Plus accommodation in Sydney. Just for picking up the phone, giving us your opinion. I'm the shy guy. Yeah. And they didn't pass the bill to Billie E your opinion. I'm the shy guy. Yeah. And I don't know if I was going to Billie Eilish. Didn't the team get tickets?

No, because they gave them all. They're giving them all to the brass cookers. I didn't mean free tickets. I mean anyone purchased any. Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No one? No.

No. Okay. All right, I'll move on. Good times. I thought maybe Babs. That would have been way better if one of us had said yes. I did try. I tried to be contacted at a music label, but I couldn't get any.

I don't mean for free. I mean if anyone wanted to. Morgan really wanted to go, but she's so pregnant. I was like, really? Can we stop this? Morgan's ability to push through and still be wanting to do stuff in this now third trimester is very impressive. She's only five years left.

God, I saw her at the tip. Why did you take your pregnant wife to the tip? Can I just say as well, I'll speak about the tip later in a little bit. Oh, okay, sure, sorry. I was getting some heat for what I threw out at the tip, and it was bad. What I threw out was an old shitty chair that I'd made six years ago. It looked, in the video I filmed, it looked like a really good stool. Did you make something?

Oh, as in like I, from, you know, Ikea. Okay, you put it together. Oh, okay, I built it, Jess. I built it. I went, can you woodwork? What? You know me? What?

I crafted it. Anything I make from Ikea. I've seen that tiny axe. Yes. You've seen these little white stools. They used to be really rickety and wobbly. And they were bad. Pam had chewed them when she was a puppy and they were dirty.

Anyway, it looked perfect in this video. Were people giving you shit for throwing away? Oh my God. Why did you throw that out? I would have had that. What are you doing? You could have at least sold that. Also, why looked perfect in this video. Were people giving you shit for throwing it away? Why did you throw that out? I would have had that. What are you doing? You could have at least sold that. Also, why is your pregnant wife throwing it?

I was like, all right, everyone, just lay off. She threw one thing in the frigging tip, and I built it, so you know it's crap, all right? Not any part of my mind, because I saw the video, and I was like, that stool chair thing, it did look fine, but I went, if they're throwing it away, there must be a reason. It's not good, yeah. Trust us.

We would keep it if we could. We would. Oh, I love that. But, yeah, she took the missile to the tip. It was hot. Yeah, that was not a good look. Jess and Ducco. A podiatrist has come out, which I found this quite interesting.

I thought I could run a team through interesting. We love feet on this show. Big fan of the foot fetish. Well, you are. Don't put we in that category. I'm not sucking toes. But we are very not yucking people's yums. And if that means... If you want to get your toes sucked, that's up to you and Jess.

That's up to you. That's not up to us. Until you freaking try it, you are not allowed to throw stones. I've told you that. You know who else does it? I didn't realize. Babs. How have we not talked about this?

No, no. Do you like to give or receive? None. I don't like feet. It's weird that it's nice to give. Come on, Babs. That's one of those things. No.

If you're not in the mood for the other thing. You had a good weekend, Babs? Totally scored. Anyway, I'm going to talk about this because I did find this interesting. So these are the things that the podiatrist said that you should never do. No matter what, you should never wear these,

you should never do this. So I say, if you're about to shut down, be toe-sucking, I don't want to hear it. No, they say that's actually really good for your foot. It's kind of exfoliating. No, they actually say walking around barefoot, very bad. Since COVID, a lot of people have gone barefoot, particularly as they're working at home. It's causing of exfoliating. No, they actually say walking around barefoot, very bad. Since COVID, a lot of people have gone barefoot, particularly as they're working at home.

It's causing more ankle issues. And there's podiatrists are seeing people come in with lots of ankle issues because they're walking around barefoot so much. Isn't it so funny, though? We came into this world barefoot. Like our feet should be able to do it. That's what I say. Do you know what I mean?

Shoes are man-made. Shoes weren't around back in the day, evolution-wise. Well, as this one, though, because I really wanted to get to, wearing Crocs everywhere is horrible for your foot. I thought they were the most comfortable. They're comfortable. I've not put my foot in. So the doctor would say Crocs are very, very comfortable.

However, when I see people wear Crocs for long periods of time, this is example Disneyland. Sure. Like I got mates who went to the shops or do whatever. Standing in Crocs for long periods of time, it's similar to barefoot. I'm seeing people who wear Crocs a lot now come in with foot and ankle issues. Really? Yes.

Are they too spongy? Too spongy, not good support. Whereas the Birkenstock, very good for the foot. That doesn't say it on there. No, it does. Not on this, but I know it does. It doesn't say it on there. No, it does.

Not on this. The Germans are good. They get it. I've seen it written down somewhere. How's this though? It says don't ever go barefoot in hotel bathrooms or any other germy spaces. What? I'm always barefoot in a bathroom.

It says hotel bathrooms, hotel rooms, or any public places like gyms and stuff like that, you should never be barefoot. That advise against it. Is that because of the tinea, the fungus? Exactly. Even in a hotel where you've got to assume it was cleaned. That advice against it. Is that because of the tinea, the fungus? Exactly. Even in a hotel where you've got to assume it was cleaned. Yeah, hotel floors, like the room floors. I would argue a hotel floor would be cleaner than my bathroom floor.

Like, I have not seen my mop in years. I didn't know we had a mop. Morgan had said the other day, we should get a mop. And I was like, we've got this far. The Dyson does so well, though. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on your hit. You've got 30 seconds to answer 10 questions,

all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000, and today our player, we've got Adam. Hello, Adam. Good morning, good morning.

How are we? Oh, Adam, I woke up this morning and I went, I think it's Adam's day. Adam. Something in my waters told me. So did I. A guy named Adam is going to win $10,000. You felt it too. I did feel it, yeah.

What an omen. Come on. What do you want to I did feel it, yeah. What an omen. Come on. What do you want to do with that cold, hard cash? Well, Valentine's Day is coming up. We've got two young kids, me and my partner, so maybe a bit of a weekend away. And your idea earlier of toe sucking, just to rekindle that spark. Yeah, there you go, Adam.

So the kids' office room will stay at home, and then you and the wife can go out, and you can just test the toe-sucking. Yeah, I think I know whose role is going to be who, because, you know, when you brush your teeth and you're supposed to brush your tongue? Yeah. That makes me gag, so I know who will be whose role.

Okay, so you'll be the receiver. You'll be the receiver. I believe so, yeah. Okay, fair enough. But I won't be walking around barefoot in that hotel, so. Adam, you... Taking your advice. You haven't tried it yet. You're willing to add this to your repertoire?

As the receiver, yes. As the receiver, okay. Can we please make sure we call Adam after Valentine's Day? I'd like a play-by-play. We've seen one other person on the planet who enjoys it. Who might enjoy it. Mate, one person at a time. I will convert you all.

You'll get the suckers. One toe at a time. One toe at a time. I will convert you all. You'll get the suckers. All right. One toe at a time. One toe at a time. Yeah, yeah. Adam, I'm a big fan of yours. The letter you're going to work with, she's solid in my opinion. It's J.

J. Okay. Okay. I can work with that. Adam can work with anything. Adam seems flexible. Hell yeah. You know?

You're ready to roll. So are my toes. So are his toes. All right. Let's do it for Adam's toes. It's all in his toes. All right. Let's do it for Adam's toes. It's got gear. Adam, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter J, we need you to name a drink. Jagermeister. A country. Japan. A clothing item. Jacket. A perfume brand. Pass. A hobby.

Jumping out of planes. A four-letter word. Jilt. An animal. Jaguar. An occupation. Jeweler. A girl's name.

Jessica. An ex. Oh, you're a good player. God, he was good. He was methodical. Jumping out of a plane, one of the great hobbies. You got yourself eight there. Didn't get through to the tenth one.

I'm sure you would have got it anyway. The exercise was just after jogging. But a perfume brand. That's the only one you didn't get. I don't know if you would have come back and got Jimmy Choo. No. That's a tough carry. Damn it.

I don't know a perfume brand. That's tough. That's really tough. I had Jean Paul Gaultier in my head only because my mum used to wear Jean Paul Gaultier. It's not in your house. Side of mind. You really would have, that would have been it. You would have got yourself $10,000.

You don't go away empty handed though, Adam. $100 to spend online at TVSN. Where beauty begins. That's out of sight, out of mind. You really would have... That would have been it. You would have got yourself $10,000. You don't go away empty-handed, though, Adam. $100 to spend online at TVSN. Where beauty begins. That's beautiful. That's all yours. Thanks very much for the chance, guys. Love it. Thanks, mate.

Thanks for playing. Adam, you're a delight. Have a great day. Thanks, guys. See you later. That was fun. Still try the toe-sucking. No, I don't think he will.

Jess and Daco. 13106 are asking, what do you regret? What do you regret? It's a big existential question, Ducco. What do you regret more than anything? Like, for example, Babs might say today she regrets not bringing the coffee beans in for the team. We take it in turns. We're on a little rotation here.

Ducco, you fulfilled week one. I fulfilled week two. She got them. She's all excited about it, but left them at home. It's one that, you know what that tells me, Ducco? She didn't get them. Oh. I did get them. I left them on my kitchen bench. It's been a morning. It's one that, you know what that tells me, Ducko? Yeah. She didn't get them. Oh. I did get them.

I left them on my kitchen bench. It's been a morning. It's like when you would go to school. It's been a morning. I did do the homework miss. I just left it at home. Yeah, yeah. It is the same principle, isn't it?

I don't believe you did. Otherwise, we'll call you a liar. You bought yourself another 24 hours. Smart play by her. Good play. Yeah, she's learning. It's a good play, but she's lying. I know.

So we're asking what you regret on 131060. Pete Davidson, former ex-boyfriend of Kim Kardashian. Yes. He's in a new animated film. It's called Dog Man. He's doing press for it, essentially. So he was on Saturday Night Live. Did you know, I didn't realise he's got most of his tattoos now removed.

I just picture him with tattoos. I picture him because he was with Ariana for a bit. And I remember them going out together. And she's such a tiny woman. He's such a tall boy. He is tall. It feels like neck down. He is inked.

He is inked. I remember the pap shots being like, wow. He came on and he said. Is it painful? It's horrible. It is, right? Oh, it's worse. Worse than getting them.

Well, they got to burn off a layer of your skin. And then it has to heal for like six to eight weeks. And you can't get in the sunlight. And then you got to do it like 12 more times yeah so really think about that game of thrones tattoo he had 200 tattoos and he's in the process of getting them all removed because he regrets them all apparently i remember megan fox doing media around getting one of her, she's got a big, I think, Marilyn Monroe on her forearm. And she described it as her skin turned to popcorn. Which, yeah, I know, because the laser, as he's talking about, has to burn that layer of the skin so it's blistering and popping. Apparently it's excruciating.

Yes, and I've heard it is way worse. Someone commented on our post last week. Remember we did what's the most painful pain you can experience? We were talking about kidney stones and childbirth. Someone commented saying laser tattoo removal. That really stood out to me. You know, I've got a couple. I don't regret them, but I ain't going through that.

The one way you got yours is on your spinal cord and your back, which would hurt to remove. I passed out getting that put on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine getting it taken off. I think my tiny little stencil of a 4X is not going to hurt too much if I can't get that removed. But I think that's going to last a test of time.

I think it will. You're never going to get that removed. But begs the question, on 13, 10, 16, it doesn't need to be tattoos. We just want to know, what do you regret? Maybe you did it when you were younger in life. Oh, okay, that's where mine comes from? Yeah. I was in year 10.

And you might be thinking, ah, you've got the excuse of youth, of stupidity. No, it's my greatest regret in my life. I kissed a boy that my friend had said she liked. Oh, and you still... I broke the girl code and I still, now literally 23 years later, feel so gross about it. Isn't that funny?

It is. If I ever become an alcoholic, you know how they have to do the 12 steps and apologise to people you've wronged? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alicia will be at the top of my freaking call list. You know what? You know what? Mine's also in school.

It's also as petty as that. Just tell me. So it was year 12. We were playing a rugby game. It was like one of the last games of the season against a school we did not like. There was a bit of animosity between us and them. Been going back and forth all game and very lippy. There was a few fights, yada, yada.

We then went and shook hands with every single person on the team but I did not shake hands with one of the players on the other team that I didn't like and he's like shake my hand and I didn't do it

so he had probably the same amount of animosity but he still put his hand out yeah and I don't know why I didn't and I walked away and to this day I go

I don't even know who the guy was but I should have shaken his hand that day I feel really bad about that isn't that funny you even know his name like we couldn't even find him.

No. And I don't know why I didn't do it. Sometimes I'll be driving long term and I'll think about that moment. I'll go, God, I hate myself. Oh, 100%. Or I'll just shake his hand. 100%. You know, like, you know, no regrets.

It's all fine because every decision we make has made us the people we are today. No, I would rather go back in time and rewrite that history. The first lesson I teach my kids, shake their hands. Shake their, oh, I'm going to say, don't break the girl code. Don't kiss. Don't kiss boys. Don't kiss your friend's boy. Well, you can kiss a boy if you want to kiss a boy.

Let's not get into it. If your friend has shotgun him, that's it. Also, she wasn't even with him. She just shotgunned him. No, she shotgunned him. And he, you remember MSN Messenger? Yeah, good times. So he MSN messaged me, and I was like, no, I want to say his name is a really unique name.

No, Alicia likes you. And he said, but I don't like her. I like you. And that was enough to get me to. Makes his MSN name Love Jess Forever, not Alicia. I think he literally put a love heart J to be like, you know, sus. And now that's why you've never spoken about Alicia since. No, we're not friends anymore.

She could have been my maid of freaking honour, but, we're not friends anymore. Jeez, no. She could have been my maid of frickin' honour, but I betrayed her in year 10. Oh, jeez. My biggest regret. Biggest regret. 13, 10, 60, get it off your plate. Yep. Biggest regrets.

Get biggest regret. Whether it was, yeah. Oh, shy guy. Come on. You've been quiet over there. You divulge. Do you have one? It's a safe space.

Mine's parking in front of Coles last week. That's my biggest regret. Oh, okay. Because your car got hurt. Because your car got hurt. Because your car got hurt. It's nothing you did. Something happened to your car. Way to spin the question.

You can interpret the photo however you like. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Pete Davidson, star of SNL, ex of Ariana and Kim K. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All 200 tattoos he regrets, Ducco. I'd understand maybe regretting a couple. Yeah.

But all of them. He was inked so heavily from the neck down that it's like, really? That's just your identity now. That is. And the process to get them removed. I understand he's a very wealthy person, but that doesn't mitigate pain. It hurts. I don't think he's getting no special tattoo removal.

And it takes like 10 or four goes to like, you know. Yes. Just to keep going back and getting it done. So we're asking what's your regret. It doesn't have to be tats. No, no. We do have someone text us in on the text line 04888 108106 line saying the pineapple says, wait, sorry, I have a pineapple

and a peach tattoo on my cheeks. Deep regret. The pineapple says juicy and the peach says peachy. I mean, Dana, thank you for sharing. That's not fantastic, is it? You get that when you're young. But see, my thing is, like my back tat, some people would go, that's not great.

Because you don't even know what it means. I don't even know what it means. And I'm too scared to walk in front of a monk in case they tap me on the shoulder. My 23-year-old self thought that was mad. And I'm not going to judge her for her choices. She was living in the now, man. Yeah.

But my year 10 self who kissed the boy my friend liked. That's bad. Complete different kettle of fish. Couldn't agree more. We go to Dan on 131060. Dan, what do you regret? I was talking to a mate at work ages ago when Bitcoin was $100. Mm-hmm.

And never, always thought it was a joke and hindsight's a good thing and I wouldn't be working today. Oh my God, if you'd actually jumped on the bandwagon, you could have retired by now, Dan. So far with that. Yeah, that breaks me up every night. Yeah.

You can hear the pain. You can hear it in Dan's voice. And is your mate, is your friend or whoever it was that had the Bitcoin who showed it to you, is he doing pretty well now? Oh, no, he actually had one back in the day, and he ended up selling it at quite, I don't know what he sold it at, but he took it there.

It's always hindsight, isn't it? Dan sounds broken. That keeps me up every night, he said. I can hear that in his voice. Oh, I missed the opportunity. Josh, good morning! Hey guys, how we going? Good, pretty good. Joshy, what do you regret? Ah, well,

we were a week out from your big day. Well, not my big day, my wife's big day, the wedding. Yep. Oh, okay. Lucky lady. Oh mate, yeah, trust me, three deep, so we are pretty lucky. Yep. So what we've done is we've gone the opposite.

Me and the boys, we're going, no, we're not going city. We're going bush. Spent the buck slot three nights out there in the bush. Yeah. First day, no problem. Second day, no problem. Coming home, we spent a few more extra hours. I was quite heavily intoxicated.

It was a nice little waterfall, rapid kind of thing going down. So I thought, all right, we're going down that anyway. So I cut up one of the camping mattresses and really gave it to her. Went down, trying to hit me back as I was going down off the drop-off. Oh, my gosh. as I've hit the drop off hit a rock look down I'm like yeah I can pick that up so I've picked it up kind of paddled over to the edge of the bank got there took two steps on the bank went about them I went about a meter and a half and this rock is shot probably about two meters into the air. I've landed, kind of, you know, poisoned myself, started getting up,

and then the rock's just gone bang on me ring finger. Oh. And, yeah, it basically popped off two of my fingers. Being 50km out of town, which I had taken my fingers, but I now look like I am throwing not shuckers, but rock on. Oh, my God. So the fingers are permanently, like, angled. Yeah, no, they're gone, dude.

Oh, they're fully gone, fully taken off. Holy. Yep. Oh, sorry, I'm with you now. Oh. Yeah, I've got no ring finger, man. Oh. And how did your partner take that right before the wedding?

Where'd she put the ring? Well, what we've done is, you know those little hands, the wooden hands you can get? Yes. Yeah, we took the finger off that and kind of, you know. Well, I'm a tinker. Technically, that means you're legally not married, though. It's not encircling your finger.

Hang on, did you try and glue the finger to your hand or did you just hold that wooden finger? No, I taped it there. You taped it there? I wasn't going to super glue it. I was still kind of roaring. Yeah, still a bit honing it. Of course, sorry.

Of course. Can't permanently affix it, but you taped it there so your wife could put it. That's crazy talk. So he regrets camping before the wedding. I wonder why he regrets it. Sorry. Lost both his fingers. That's unbelievable. He painted that picture for me. I was really just trying to his fingers. That's unbelievable.

He painted that picture for me. I was really just trying to imagine it. Jodie. Hi, how are you going? Yeah, good. Thanks, Jodie. What do you regret? Yeah, mine's back in high school.

I dated a young fellow there, and he was a bit of a good two-shoes boy for me, I think. So I sort of, yeah, sent him on his way and, yeah, I regret it. But 20 years later, we ended up rekindling and now we're getting married. So I just regret it. I thought that story was going to be like, I thought that was going to be like, and that guy grew up to be Hugh Jackman.

He was very rich and famous. My bloke's better. Okay. Did he become a bit of a bad boy for you, Jode? No, he didn't. He just, I don't know, he never forgot about me, which was really good. Jode became a good girl. Oh, did you become that good girl, Jode?

Yes. No, exactly. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Let's see what's happening here. Oh, I love that for you, Jode.

Well done. Jess and Ducko. Right now, 11 a.m., Ducko. Yes. Good right. Let's see what's happening here. Oh, I love that for you, Jodie. Well done. Jess and Ducko. Right now, 11 a.m., Ducko. Yes. Your day. Yes. Grammy's day. Oh, my goodness.

You can keep up with all the action on Channel 7. Yeah. They'll be broadcasting live. I'll be going home watching it live. I don't know about you guys. Obviously. The Grammy's red carpet, I find the most interesting of the red carpets. Oh, yeah.

It doesn't have the same formality that your Oscars and your Golden Globes and the Hollywood stars. They're so much funkier, the musicians. And they're wearing more out their stuff. They have a lot more fun with it. Obviously, some big ticket names, Beyonce, Taylor Swift. Who's going to get album of the year? Goss from Taylor Swift's camp. Yeah.

Travis won't be there. Someone has to prepare for the frigging Super Bowl. This happened last year as well. Yeah, it did, and I was pissed off about it last year too. It was the biggest game of his life. Yeah, she can go to the Super Bowl. Correct. You can't go to her Super Bowl.

Yeah, correct. Because she doesn't have anything on when her Super Bowl's on. It's rude. It's rude. It's an unequal partnership. She's supporting. She wouldn't be allowed out by the team. She's supporting the man.

We had this exact chat last year. I ain't seen no support back. But anyway, Billie Eilish, our girl. Obviously, we've got double passes to give away every day this week. She's up for record song and album of the year. So all eyes will be on Billie. But I thought what we could do today, Ducko, not celebrate the ones who are nominated and who are the favourites

because they've got enough glory. They've got the accolades coming their way. I see. I thought we could take a look back at the history of the Grammys for the major snubs. We love talking about snubs. Who's never won a Grammy? Who's never won a Grammy?

You're not going to believe it. First cab off the rank, Katy Perry. No, I can believe it. I love KP, but come on. 13 nominations. No wins. That is very unlucky. That's so unlucky.

That's always bridesmaid territory. Yes. Not even her new album was such trash. Yeah, we're looking at her previous. I don't think the new album got a nod for anything. KP's got some tracks and she's never... Amen. Even she was nom'd for album of the year, Teenage Dream.

Oh, Teenage Dream. That was bop after bop after bop. That got Shy Guy through high school. That's his one tat. Just his whole back is Katy Perry. He's from the California girls. His tat is, do you feel like a plastic bag in the wind? Drifting through the wind.

See, he would know. See, he got it. And where is that? Oh, in the rib cage. Oh, yeah. A little whale tail down there. Some other surprise. And I, if you Be careful here

Yeah Miguel Jalo She's She's Speaking of Superbowl She's done half time shows Yeah she's big She's never

I thought this song might get up Never been Never won Interesting She was nominated Oh thank god She was nominated Only once

Twice Okay I mean that's Not as good as Katy Perry But still I know You do think of these names And just think they've automatically been critically acclaimed. Maybe because they've been around for so long and some of their hits are so big.

It's like finding out Leonardo DiCaprio didn't win an Oscar till The Bloody Revenant. I know. You think he's won for so many more movies. Totally. Similar to this. The one where he says limited, crawling through the snow for three hours, gets him the Oscar. Okay. Well done.

These two, I don't know if they shocked me, but again, when we think of these massive names in music, surely that comes with the accolade of a Grammy. Two boy bands. Yeah. The Backstreet Boys. Oh, they deserve a Grammy. Never won a Grammy. What?

This got me through high school. They're 0 for 9. Yeah. Nine nominations. Wow. Nick Carter and NSYNC. Oh, I mean. The Teemu Backstreet. Which I

love. Yes, I agree with that. I mean, I like Westlife the best, but I like the Backstreet Boys better than NSYNC. I do. I mean, By The By is a good song, but, you know, would you miss them? Never. Neither of those boys. Interesting. You know what? And just quickly, neither is One Direction.

Maybe boy bands don't win. Oh, yeah. Boy bands don't win Grammys. Yeah, that's interesting. Have you been to girl bands? Oh, that's a great question. Like Little Mix. How many Grammys has Little Mix won?

Shut up to your hair. That's a good guess, isn't it? That's one of my favorites. Black magic. No. Both of those? I should have left it. I should have left it.

We were simmering in the gold. We were, and I pushed us over the edge of the cliff. Destiny's Child and Fifth Harmony are the only two girl groups that have won Grammy Awards. Oh, Destiny's Child makes sense. Yeah, Destiny's might make sense. Fifth Harmony's won a Grammy. Fifth Harmony. They won four.

Work, work, work, work. Is that them? Yeah, it was Fifth Harmony. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.ony. They won four. Work, work, work, work. Is that them? Yeah, it was Fifth Harmony. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And I gotta go to work. Not yet.

Let's keep, let's play a new game. We'll just get Jess to sing who hasn't won. Jess, how about you just sing us all we are. No, but Fifth Harmony has. Oh, okay. Do you know who hasn't? ABBA. What?

Oh, no. How can you win Eurovision and then not go on to win a Grammy? You're talking Eurovision here. Yeah, but like. Dami Im was one of the finals for Eurovision and then not go on to win a Grammy? You're talking Eurovision here. Yeah, but like. Dami Im was one of the finals for Eurovision. She came second. Speaking of Aussies, I'm glad you brought that up. In the Grammys, we're looking out for Tame Impala and Troye Sivan.

They're like our only Aussie. Surely Troye Sivan wins some stuff. No, sorry. I meant like this year. Yeah, yeah. No, but surely he will. Surely. He's up against some big names, but I believe in our Troy.

Great album. Can you sing what he sings? Yep. I feel the rush. Hey! Addicted to your crush. Hey! Go away.

I feel the rush. It's so good. It's so good. Good commitment. Thank you so much. And finally, the most shocking for the Grammy snubs across the ages. Yes. Queen.

Queen. We will, we will rock you. The Grammys gave them a Lifetime Achievement Award but never gave them an actual Grammy. That feels weird. They were only nominated for four in Freddie Mercury's Lifetime. Really? Never.

Who beat Queen? They feel almost like too cool for the Grammys. Like the Grammys can't, you know. Totally. But I just can't fathom who could beat Queen. I don't know. Fifth Army. Okay.

Well, not in the same year. Jess and Ducco. My weekend, last weekend, as you know. Bucks party, baby. The last dance. Here we go. Which is so quintessential, Ducco. You are the perpetual best man slash MC slash got a coordinator box.

That's on my LinkedIn profile. Literally in 2024. Endorse for Microsoft Excel and Bucks parties. It felt like last year, every fortnight, you were saying, hey, I've got to take off Friday after the show. I've got a Bucks party again. So when you said you had one last week, I went, no, no, you've run out of friends. You're making it up now. That's my last friend of the year.

So the brother-in-law and stuff are coming up. Oh, Christ. I know. But anyway, last week it was Bucks Party. It was heckers. I was best man, so I was organizing heckers. This weekend, geez, didn't I just slip into the afterlife that is going to be parenthood. So this weekend, we've got the classic issue, which is not a new issue, where we don't have enough space.

We've got a child coming in April, and we we need more space and we're running out of space. So to create space, we had to clear out our shed, empty things, throw things out. That was pretty much all of my Friday was cleaning the house in preparation to clear the house out. And then it was- That's called nesting. Yeah. We're finally nesting.

Yeah. And I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Morgan's making me get rid of my toys. Literally. You know, she got all my hats and she threw some out. And I was like, not my hats, Morgan. Don't take the hats.

I have four hat drawers. I was like, that is a bit excessive. Jesus. I've seen you in two hats. Where are you wearing all these hats? I said, we should theme our baby shower hat party. How fun is that? Everyone can wear a hat.

What's that got to do with the baby? Nothing. Everyone has a hat. It's a simple thing. And Morgan's like, no, ducko. You want to have any fun? Our child's going to hate you. I hate you.

Oh, my God. Everyone, spare a thought for Morgan. Come on, a hat party would be fun. It'd be sick. Oh, my God. I love a theme. You know, I love a theme. I know you do.

And I have 45 hats. You know how brides at their wedding might go through two, maybe even three dresses? That's you at the baby shower being like, guys, play the entrance music. I have a new hat. Here I come again. Anyway, so as we got rid of all those. I can't believe she got rid of your hats.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It was a horrible day. Yeah. Then on the Saturday morning, after we'd cleared some stuff out, we're getting ready to go to the tip. We knew Pam needed another urine sample. Oh yeah, I saw this on your Instagram. Obviously that's a me job because you know my wife doesn't like doing that.

Are the pills not working? No, no, they are. They just wanted to test at the end of the two week course of antibiotics that her vulva was clear and there was no urinary tract infection. And so I slipped in there. You saw her. I posted on my Instagram. I slipped in there, grabbed that pee real nice.

It was unbelievable. That's a textbook pee grab. Let's be honest. I can't believe she captured that because it was fast. Yeah, it was quick. Had she been filming for a while? She was waiting because I'd been trying to get Pam to do a wee and whatever. Anyway, got that.

That was fine. Took Morgan to the tip. We're dumping things at the tip, which is always an exciting time. I saw the hats go in. You cried. She put the hats in. I didn't want to. A lot of people on my Instagram slaying me for my pregnant wife throwing things in the tip.

I was like. Yeah, well, you film her. She wanted to. If you were both throwing, but someone had to film. Someone had to film. The content is king. And then after that, clearing the shit out. Then you go to.

Bye, baby bunty. Okay, we need the stuff. Now you've made the space. Now we need to fill the space with the stuff. With the stuff that we've got. Everyone knows that place is a, it's a different world. It is a different world. Got all our things.

I had the ute, filled the ute up with all the stuff. Get that home and you're like. The most you've ever had in the ute is a golf club. Yeah, golf clubs, yeah. Golf clubs and shopping bags. You had bloody the rope tie, carabiners. You were up in there. There was a forklift involved.

It looked like I knew what I was doing. Morgan captured you at good angles. She did. Then you go home and you're like, all of a sudden, all this space I've cleared for all this crap is now taken by this. I know. There's more boxes now. One chair and a sterilizer.

See you later. Oh my goodness. See you later. Wait, yeah, the sterilizer box where I was like, what's this do? Oh, it cleans them and then sterilizes them. I'm like, oh yeah, we need to do that each time, do we? You got the biggest thing I've ever seen. I know. That looks like a... Could have been up so I'll... Mine is a bag. Maybe we got the wrong thing.

You're not sterilizing enough. Maybe not. We've got the chair and the pram. And it's always the way. And every new parent will be shaking their head going, I feel that. Yeah. There's no space. If someone says it's for the baby, it's for their safety, it's for their baby, it's for their safety, it's for their comfort, it's for your ease, you know, in the middle of the night, you go, sure, throw money at the problem. And then four, five months in, you go, I don't need that. Yeah, what was that for?

I know. And you know what? Four or five months, I'll go, hey, where's that hat that I liked? Where's my good hat that I need? My wife threw it out. Is it in the steriliser? Jess and Ducko. We'll work on that.

This is our new game called Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Yeah, Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Where we bid against each other on how many of a certain category we can name before the other one has to bow out. Is there a time that you get to name the category? I reckon we try and put some constraints on it. What are we, like a 30 second? Yeah, I think so.

So, Sean's going to give us a category and we're going to bid. Oh, I reckon I can name two. You might say, I can name four. Up until the point where the other person goes, all right, bang. Go for it. Enjoy. Enjoy. Prove it. Did you want like a... Yeah, that feels good. Because maybe it's a little...

It's nice for the rice cookers for that timer. You might notice that from Alpha Bucks, to be flipped back on Jess and Ducko. Because we always put it on them. Then we feel the pressure. Alright, so Shaka's going to give us a topic? Yep. Harry Potter characters.

Oh. Ducker, I reckon I can name six Harry Potter characters. Six? Yep. I reckon I can name nine. I reckon I can name 13. Go for it. No!

Go for it. Because I think I can name more, but I'd like to see you go. And that lets the little caveat. If I fail, you just have to come in with one that I haven't named, correct? Yes. Crap! Here we go. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Mrs Weasley, Mr Weasley, Fred, George, Percy, Ginny,

Petunia, Uncle Vernon, Dudley, Luna. Ah, she's got it. Damn. Damn. Well done. I think I could have kept going. Yeah, I think you could have too. We should have.

You were flying there. We could have gone 20. I think we could have. I just didn't know how hard. You know what? The Weasleys helped when I got on the Weasley train. Yeah, you went there. Okay.

Well done. Good get. You got a point. Okay. All right. I got on the Weasley train. Yeah, you went there. Okay. Well done. Good get. You got a point. Okay. All right. I think we've got to back ourselves. Yeah, we do. I think backing in is the key.

Next category, Madonna songs. Mate, one. No, I can't name more than one. I couldn't even tell you one right now. I don't know anything about Madonna. Two. Ah, this is. Two. I reckon you've got them in your head. I don't think anything about Madonna. Two. Ah, this is... Two. I reckon you've got them in your head.

I don't think I... Your mum would be a fan. Yeah, probably, but Madonna songs, what a crap category. Um, no, I don't know if I could do more than two. I don't think I could. You want to try for three? I genuinely couldn't even tell you

I'm fully blanked on Madonna songs right now. Okay. Am I going? Yeah. I mean, you've only got to get two. You've only got to get two. Like a Virgin and Holiday. Yeah.

What were some others? Music. That's all I could have done three. Yeah, exactly. Just like a prayer. That's a great song. Okay. All right. Well, I mean, Jess takes prayer. That's a great song. Okay, all right. Well, I mean, Jess takes it.

Let's go. Hung up popular material girl Vogue, four minutes. No one's denying she doesn't have plenty of songs. Do we look like Madonna fans in this room? We just spoke about the Grammys. There were other artists that would have been better for us. I know a lot of our listeners would love Madonna. Yes, we apologize to the Madonna fans.

I don't. All right. Items you'd to the Madonna fans. I don't. All right. Items you'd put on a burger. Ooh. I reckon I could name four. Oh, eight. Do it. Bang.

Onion, pineapple, ham, lettuce, spinach, beetroot, patty, a vegetable patty, rocket. That's eight. Oh, yeah. See, how many would you have actually gone if that was on the line? Because I know you were just wanting me to do it. Do you know what? I was wanting you to do it. I reckon you could have gone more.

I don't even think you said cheese. Maybe I didn't say cheese. So maybe I could have gone nine. I love that you said spinach and rocket, you health nut. Anyway, that's bitty, bitty bang game. That's bitty, bitty bang game. Okay. I like it.

I think a few things we can iron out with it. Absolutely agree. I think there's a way we could get rice cookers involved. I think so. Down the track. And we should say it didn't happen in this, but you mentioned it early. If you can't name what you suggested, like you say nine Harry Potter characters and you only name seven, I just need to come in with one that hadn't been named.

Exactly, exactly. And then I get the point. Otherwise, no points. No points. Fun. But, jeez, my daughter's song is really the undoing. Jess and Ducco. Jeez, I've been getting slammed, Jess.

You have our DMs, the text line, our creative writer, Gabe, just put you over his knee and gave you a good spanking. Goodness gracious me. Apologise. I'm sorry. No, I shan't. We just had Biddy Biddy Bang Bang, a new game, and Shy Guy's great topic was Madonna songs.

How many can you name? You said two. I was like, I don't think I can name more than that. Generational thing, okay, people? Madonna's not my hero. No, even though, can I get a quick Google search show? How many songs does Madonna have? And I

know she's not one of the artists we often play here on Hit, and you've been... She's got that many songs. You've been a hit. Well, our system has 213. Yeah, I know. And then she has that many that you don't realise are her, but how could I name them in the time of that game? And she also has a lot, yeah, from like the 80s, but kind of current ones. She had that one with JT and others.

It just says, Billboard says well over 200 officially released tracks. Oh, no, she's got songs. I mean, there was, and people are all Madonna experts, okay? You couldn't even think of Santa Baby? You only thought of two as well. Hey, man, I won that round. You don't take that away from me. Yeah, that's true.

Don't take that away. That's true. The Virgin song, that's her best. Yeah. That's a good song. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway.

It was a good game, though. So, you know, yeah, whatever. Whatever. Do you want me to tell you about ballet? I do. Okay. Again, I don't have a segue from Madonna to ballet. Yeah.

We had a first in our parenting journey over the weekend. I signed Lucia up for ballet. Now, when I say I signed her up, there's a new dance studio that opened and we were invited to go along. I see. But I was very keen for this to be a new chapter for us. So I thought, let's go. What's the age to get someone into ballet?

On the booking, granted for the open day, they were doing sessions across the morning where your kid could come and try. Right. The youngest session was three years old to five years old. Okay. So she's not quite there yet. Age check. My kid's 15 months old.

But I went, hey. She can keep up. She's talented. I reckon she's a prodigy. The three-year-olds are looking at that 15-month-old going, ugh, what are you doing here? Bro, the five-year-olds were like, what's this rat bag doing? This is a baby. She can't

speak. I literally pulled the dummy out of her mouth as we walked in. I was like, act cool, act cool. Act older than you are. But I had this real glimpse of myself, and it was ugly, Ducko. Stage mum? It was ugly. Yes. I mean, we could all see this coming. We could.

I think my child is gifted and a genius. Oh, yeah. But we're just trying to find the niche with which she can show that to the rest of the world. And I thought, well, ballet and dance might be it. So we go into the room and I realise, oh, no other parents are staying in the room. They're all watching from the observer windows. Right. Probably not a good look if watching from the observer windows. Right.

Probably not a good look if I'm the only one in there. You know, there was maybe 14 little girls and the three instructors. I mean, they don't need a body in here. They're filming. So I literally dump Lucia in there. We knew a couple of little girls who were a bit older, but I dumped her in and just walked out. Nerve-wracking for her.

It turns out, yeah. Yeah, I was going to say. I mean, I'm no expert yet. I think my kid is shy and it's really not going to suit me because I dumped her. It's not going to suit me. I dumped her in. I think this little thing that, where, can I take this back? Where do I get another one of these?

I put her in the room and it's my own fault because I was like, why didn't she just take to that? And Angus was going, well, you didn't really do mother's group. We never do big group things with other kids. Intimidating. She literally was in a space with 14 other little girls who were, let's be real, much older than her. Even though she knew two of them, we're not in each other's back pocket.

We do the sensory classes and the Jimber Roos, but, you know, they're not really mingling. You're sort of the one singing with the kid, and, yeah, they get to bang on the little drum. So I've just plonked her in this room, walked out and stood at the window. She got straight up and walked out to find me, and I went, no, no, sis. Oh, sweetie.

Putsch to bed. Oh, sweetie. Puts you to bed. Oh, no. My heart breaks with this little nutcracker. You should have seen. Because I think she was like a stunned mullet for a bit. So Angus was filming. Good Daddy came along to ballet. Yeah, he would have loved it.

I made him leave work. He's like, I'm really out of the pump. I went, you cannot miss the ballet. Lucia will never forget this. He literally just pulled up pavers at the wedding venue and he's like, well, I'm going to do it before the bride and groom come. So we quickly ran back to Fiji. But he filmed her a bit and she's just like a stunned mullet,

like a deer in the headlights looking and then she walks out. I went, no, no. Go back in. Pushed her back in and then she cried. And you're like, don't cry, smile. So I was like, oh no. Don't cry, smile. So I stayed in there. Pretty girls don't cry, Lucia. And then the teacher got like these little scarves out and they did a little rhythmic

gymnastics routine. I was like, you love scarves. She's like, I don't speak English. I don't understand what you're saying. Let me go. So how did it go? Because I saw your photos. I had a great time. Yeah, okay. So did you see there was one photo where she was smiling? Yeah. That's the one I posted. Oh what you're saying. Let me go. So how did it go? Because I saw your photos. I had a great time.

Yeah, okay. So did you see? There was one photo where she was smiling. That's the one I posted. Oh, you didn't notice? That was like the free time where you could just sort of walk around. The other kids were dancing and going up on tippy toes, but they're five and could understand the instruction.

Whereas Lucia was just like, eh. Looking for you. Looking for me. So your daughter, your 15-month-old daughter, was horrified for her life, looking for her mother while her mother kicked her in there with a bunch of kids. I was outside the window trying to do that. Position one, position two, position three. Copy me.

On point, on point. Smile, honey, smile. So we're going to keep trying. Oh, you are going to keep going back. We're not wussies in this family. We will keep trying. Just because one time. Didn't work. Didn't work.

Maybe you could take her back when she's three, I'm sure. That might be better. No, because then I looked. There's tiny tots. Oh, do that. Which is for the babies. Put her with her people. Yeah, put her with her people.

Yeah, great. I just wanted to, like, when Angus used to play cricket, he was like three years younger than everyone, was a superstar. I'm like, it's in your genes, sis. It's in your genes. Cricket and ballet, very different. It's different humans. Dad always tells me how he bawled out an eight-year-old when he was like six. I'm going

Everyone always tells you the hero stories from when they're younger. They get exaggerated over time. No, I believe that. I went, come on! Lift! Harper's lift. Alright, show mum. Look at this brand on you. Competitive much? It's the issue that I can't do it, so I'm going to need

to live through her. Right, right. Oh, good. I'm going to need to live through her. Right, right. Oh, good. I'm looking forward to this journey. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue the question, just say pass. Of course, we'll come back to you if there is time. They're the rules we're playing with. And today our player is Maddie. Hello, Maddie. Hi, how are you?

Maddie, we're fantastic. We have the opportunity to give you $10,000. The question is, are you ready to take it off our hands? You bet. You bet. All right. What do you ready to take it off our hands? You bet. You bet. All right. What do you want to spend the money on? Well, the car stopped working this morning,

so a bit's going to a mechanical bill, but maybe a holiday as well. Yeah, nice. Oh, my gosh, that's so annoying. What, were you on your way to work and it just conked out, or you couldn't even start it? Yeah, pretty much. Oh. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Did you have to pull over on the side of the road, put the hazard lights on? Not quite. Okay, not that bad. Okay, all right, not that bad. I love that Maddie took this as motivation. This is a sign. I'm going to win the 10K.

I'm going to win the 10K. Do it. Maddie, let's keep the positive vibes going, even when you hear the letter. You're going to work with Y. Okay. Okay. There's worse letters to get. There is.

X is worse. X is worse. Come on, Mads. I'm not a huge fan of Q. Q's tough. But Y, Maddie. Good? You're good then.

All right. She switched into Y mode. Yeah, she is. Rifling through all the Y words in her head. Your time will start after the first question. Mads, let's do it. Starting with the letter Y, we need you to name a cartoon character. Can I pass the first one?

You can. A country. Pass. A girl's name. A music artist. Pass. A hobby. An animal.

A board game. Okay, okay. We spent a bit of time on that first one wondering if we could pass. Always, you can always pass. You can always pass. I've never had anyone ask that question. Very polite of me. There's no rule on the first or last or whatever.

Yeah, it doesn't matter what question it is. You can always say pass. You got yourself three. Woo. I can tell you could actually play the game with some of the answers, you know. Yabby for an animal, you know. Yodeling for a hobby. A cartoon character is a tough one. Yoshi is what we were

looking for. A yogi bear. Your boy, Yu-Gi-Oh. My boy, Yu-Gi-Oh, obviously. A country Yemen music artist, Young Gravy. And then, yeah. I love the idea of Young Gravy in his bedroom being like, I'm going to be a superstar one day.

I'm going to call myself Young Gravy. Young Gravy. That's what I'm going to do. I love gravy. Maddie, you don't have to go by any hand. $100 to spend online at TVSN. That is all yours, okay? Awesome.

Thank you. Good luck with the car, Maddie. That's so annoying for a Monday, but I'm sure you're going to handle it with grace and skill. Of course. Thanks. She's like, how do I answer that? She's like, can I go? Yeah, yeah. Can and skill? Of course. Thanks. She's like, how do I answer that? She's like, can I go?

Yeah, yeah. Can I leave? I don't know. Trying to make her feel better. Now can I leave this conversation? What did you make better? I'll run you through this. So we are not a bar of soap family.

We're normally, you know, the shower gel or whatever. Soap bars kind of annoy me because not only do I find them sort of gross, but when you are holding it, it always slips out of your hand. Are you a drag a bar of soap around your body or a lather your hand? No, around the body. Let that thing go for a run from the pit to the bit. Let it go everywhere, you know? Slippery little mofos. I'm not a bar of soap. My husband's a bar of soap man. My daughter, though, has baths and constantly gets the bar of soap and bites it. I'm like, sis.

Well, she is Angus. Don't do that. She's her dad. What are you, shy guy? I can't imagine you, bar of soap guy. No, I have the pump. Yeah, pump. I see you with a loofah on a stick.

Yeah, me too. Because how the hell are you washing your back? With a lot of pumps. Yeah. So anyway, we got given this bar of soap. I'm going to leave it. We got given this bar of soap. And we got given this bar of soap for Christmas.

And it's a big bar of soap. Okay. Well, that person doesn't like you very much. I think it was my auntie. It was a classic Christmas present. She's been to bed, bath and table. You know what I'm going to get Ducca and Morgan? I love this big bar of soap.

And I bet you she never intended for you to actually use it. It was meant to be decorative. Oh, maybe. Possibly. Because that's probably all we would have done it for until we ran out of the pump. And then we had it sitting on top of our shower there, but it kept sliding around. So Morgan got alfoil and put alfoil on that for the soap to sit on. Okay, made it a little bed.

Like a little bed. Like a little bed to sit on. So the soap wouldn't slide. Okay, made it a little... A little bed. Like a little bed. Like a little bed to sit on. So the soap wouldn't slide around so you could grab it. But then what's happened is, accidentally and geniusly, the alfoil has morphed into the soap on the bottom half of the soap. So when you grab the soap, it comes with the alfoil. Like its own little gripper. You put the...

Exactly. You put the alfoil part on your hand and it grips around your body. And when you soap yourself... I guess you wouldn't want to be dragging alfoil around your body. That would be very scratchy. That would be annoying. But in terms of now grip. Yeah.

Now you have a gripper. The soap. Your husband would love this. He's probably listening, doing it right now. You can put the alfoil on the back of the soap. It sticks in there. It's easy to get off. And it acts as a grip for you to rub the soap around your body.

And just because the soap was malleable and wet, it just fused with the alfoil. It just formed into one. This is how they invented penicillin. Accidental. Your wife, basically. The same thing. Accidentally. Honey, you've done it.

Accidentally has made your life so much easier. And at first I was grossed out by it. I don't love the idea of it for some reason. It feels like you took a kitchen item into the bathroom. It works. I've seen you guys' photos. You guys saw the big bar of soap with the alfoil. It's very simple.

It works. Better than constantly dropping the soap? It's better than dropping the soap. Having to bend down? I've got a bath shower. You can't be bending down too much in that. Oh, you don't want to be doing that. You want to be sliding around all over the shop.

Exactly. So 131060, what did you make better? Is there something you maybe accidentally made better, or is there something that you enhanced? My husband is very proud of this story, and no, it wasn't him, even though I feel like this would be in his wheelhouse. His dad. His dad is the ultimate. I see an issue. I reckon I can enhance that myself. Before they were a thing, I want it

known. This is not, I just saw it at the car wash. Washing the car back in the day, he's like, God, wouldn't it be good if the broom was letting out water at the same time so we could really suds it up? Yeah, yeah. So he drilled a hole through the broom handle so he could poke the hose nozzle through it at the base of it all so he could just be soaping and washing at the same time. Oh, that is genius. Unbelievable. I reckon the car wash people drove past him doing it and went, oh my God, there's a million dollar idea right there. It's funny where these inceptions come from.

Absolutely. And every time you have a great idea, then you see it out there, you're like, ah. I should have patterned it. I should have gotten on top of it. Alfoil soap is going to become my trademark. I think you, I'm not sure. Soapy grip. Grippy, grippy soap.

Grippy, grippy soap soap. Yeah, grippy, grippy soap soap. That'll work. Yeah, it's genius. Can it be in the shape of a duck? It can. Yeah, we can do, grippy, grippy soap. Grippy, grippy soap. Yeah. Yeah. Grippy, grippy soap. So that'll work. Yeah. It's genius. Can it be in the shape of a duck? It can. Yeah, we can do that.

We can do duck soap. We can actually do this. That might be nice. Cause if you fashion the foil into the shape of a duck, you actually can just hold the neck of the duck. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Soap sits on back of duck. Yes. But you hold neck of duck. Look, it sounds basic and it's, I understand it could be hard visually. We'll put a photo up on our Instagram. But it's made your life so much easier. My goodness.

You've never been cleaner. Here's the funny thing. It's made me enjoy bars of soap. Because I know now that on that soapy side, we're all using it. So what I'll do is I'll wash my body, then I'll wet that soapy side, so it kind of cleans off the essence of dirty. I think it's better for the environment too, bars of soap. You don't have the packaging of the shower gel.

Yeah, probably. It's a win-win-win. It's a win-win-win. It's a win-win-win. And your wife's a genius. She's very smart. 13, 10, 60, what did you make better? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Are you an accidental genius like Ducko's wife, Morgan? Yep. Or are you a MacGyver of sorts? Did you see a problem in your life and go, I don't have to put up with this. I'm going to put my brain to the problem and make this situation better for myself. Morgan with the bar of soap, put some alfoil so the soap

would just hold on it so it wouldn't slide around and fall off the holster. And that's grippy grippy soapy soap. Grippy grippy soapy soapy was trademarked, was invented. Grippy grippy wash wash? I'm happy with the groovy part. We've got to work on the other half of the name.

The back end needs some work. So the alfoil then morphed into the soap. And then now, when we take the soap, the alfoil comes with it. And it's a soap holder. I put it on our story at Jess and Darko. You can see some photos of it. Have a look. And I will say, it doesn't look pretty.

But like, God, it's practical. Hey, it's effective, man. It works. It's effective. To clean the bits, whatever you can get sorted. You know what I mean? We need functionality before we get aesthetics. get sorted. You know what I mean? We need functionality before we get aesthetics. So true.

You know what I mean? And Morgan has nailed the functionality of you being able to wash your pits and bits with much more effectiveness. Thank you. You're about to be a dad. You don't have time to waste picking up rogue bars of soap that have slipped out of your hands. God.

You've got to be in and out. I have a dollop every time I drop that soap. It's just sliding around everywhere. Now I've got the grippy, grippy soap. Soap, I do not. You are in and out. I'm in and out. See I drop that soap. It's just sliding around everywhere. Now I've got the grippy, grippy soap. Soap, I do not. You are in and out. I'm in and out. See you later.

That was quick. With just a piece of alfoil. We go to Andrew on 131060. You should quickly say, like, trademark, patent pending. Trademark, patent pending. Andrew, what do you make better? I got sick and tired of changing the whippersnapper cord all the time because plastic, it just wears out.

So I went to the old hill's hoist and cut some cable and now I don't run out of cord. And that works? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except the only issue is when your wife plants new plants and you accidentally hit it, there's no more plants. No, that would rip everything up. Oh, you're supercharged. Okay.

You want to be really careful on those edges. Yeah. You're like the dad that puts the car motor in the kid's go-kart. You're like, oh, I can supercharge this thing. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's genius. You actually got it off the hill so it didn't work.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You never run out. I would be so nervous mucking with anything electrical or motorized or whatever, but Andrew's like, nah. I'm doing this. I've got no time to waste. That's a genius hack, though.

It was very good. Bonnie on 131060, what did you make better? It wasn't me, but it was a guy that owned the house before us. He's built a full bar in our lounge room. It's pretty cool. But it has a chute to put your empty bottles in, and they go straight outside, so you don't even have to walk them out. Oh, that is fantastic.

What? Is it, like, through the wall or under the ground? No, no, it's through the wall. So it's just like a little tin chute that you just open up and then it just slides down, goes straight outside. We've put empty chemical containers and then we just take them straight to return it in. And you're getting money from it too.

That is genius. Oh, my God. Think of all the time she's saving. Also, though, Bonnie, if you ever want to do a prank, there's someone you don't like, get them to your house, put them under there and just put bottles out and they'll get hit in the head. I love that. Sit right here.

You stay there, Jim. You'll be all right, buddy. Hold on. I'm just going to run upstairs. What's this? What's this opening above my head? Don't worry about it, Jim. You'll be all right, Jim.

Sucker. That is good, though. I love the idea that Bonnie's moved in after the fact and gone, whoever owned this house before, I'm silently applauding you. We've got a Harps to finish us off here. Good morning, Harps. Good morning. What did you make better?

I don't want to do this on radio, but my daughter loves Billie Eilish, but my husband, I made him better. Why? Why did you make him better? Look, he was okay when I met him, but I fixed his style, his diet. I even think I made him a little bit funnier. I love that. You saw the potential.

Like a sculptor who saw just a plain clump of clay. Yeah, yeah. Harps went. Absolutely. I can shape this into a great husband. I can make him all right. We can shed five kilos. I can change his fashion.

Yeah, we can read some comedy books. Yeah, we can do some stuff. Jeez, it's Monday. Feels good for a Monday, team. I agree. Team's been in a red-hot form today. Actually, what is Shy Guy still doing here? Don't you have a car to get serviced?

Oh, yeah, babe. Do you need to go? Yeah, I've got a couple of minutes. Okay. Okay. Should I announce to us all yesterday that he has to leave a bit earlier today because his car needs service? I enjoyed your follow-up question.

Sweet Shy Guy has obviously shown a lot of vulnerability. He's like, text the group going, hey team. No, no, let's read the text. Yeah, read it. I've got to find it because he didn't ask us a question in it. I was like, what does he want out of this? So Shy Guy sends a message. This is to the boss.

This is to us. This is to everyone in promotions. He goes, hey, I have a favor. I'll need to duck out at 8.30 tomorrow so I can drop my car off at 9 to get some dents repaired. I'll work from home after. Tried to push it to 10, but I couldn't. Thanks. And I go, what's the favour?

The favour is, can you survive without me? Got him! And Babs wasn't on the text thread. Sorry, Babs. Wrong group. That was a weird group you went in. Because the one with the boss doesn't have Babs in it. That's why we talk about Babs. There's another one with Babs and the boss.

That's what I mean. That's my point. Oh, there's plenty. He picked the wrong group. We need to make one boss and Babs. I really like if it was just us, there would be no, oh, I'll work from home, I promise, because the boss was on the chat. Oh, I'll WFH for the rest of the morning.

I'll definitely be on my emails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you up that time with the Wiggles to interview them, because they cancelled on us last week. The purple Wiggle? I'll redo that. Anyway. Doug O'Desperate wants to talk to the hot Wiggle.

I'm really keen to. I'll make sure we get him. So what you're telling us is you're going to get out of here? Yeah. Okay. Like any minute? Can we cross live to you in the car? No.

No. You couldn't drop it off at 9.30? I asked. He said that there's other jobs. This feels suspicious to me, Jess. It does feel suspicious. Jess feels a bit fraudulent. To be fair, don't be suspicious.

Don't be suspicious. You don't know. Okay. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. I thought you watched Parks and Recreation. I did, but I thought... Is that what that's from?

I don't know. That's from that. I thought it was from TikTok. Nah. Anyway, we've expired this chat. Haven't we? Shy Guy's leaving. Now, let's put the focus back on Shy Guy.

Those dints, you need to get them fixed. You should go. It drives me nuts. I'll go now. You should go. Okay, bye. You should go during the only three hours that we work every day. We already have one of the most unrelatable jobs in the country.

I'm leaving. I leave. Don't you leave us. I'll be listening. We're going to cross the line. Keep your phone on you. We'll call you. Could we have a call of fame?

I'm about to do a conversation on love languages. I'm going to need you. What's your love language? What's your love language? Okay, he's out of here. He's going to have to be quality time. We're looking for a new producer. You can apply.

Email us at shyguy. Email shyguy at sca.com. Jess and Ducko. Right now, Ducko, I'm having severe regret. I am a big advocate and I love talking about and learning about people's love languages. You've always loved the love languages. You used them appropriately the other day. Yeah, on you.

And I've never been more impressed. You're gift giving. Is that acts of service? No, no, there's five. There's acts of service. There's gift giving. Yes. Words of affirmation.

That's me. Physical touch. Oh, that's also me. And quality time. Oh, that's me too. See, I'm a blend. I'm a blend. You're a hybrid blend. Of quality time. Yes. Physical touch. I love that's also me. And quality time. Oh, that's me too. See, I'm a blend. I'm a blend. Oh, you're a hybrid blend.

Of quality time. Yes. Physical touch. I love my arm being tickled. Oh, I love my arm. You have your toes being sucked. Yeah. Yes.

And gift giving. You're mainly gift giving. Gift giving is 90% of you. No. You always say that. It's quality time. No, when you give these ridiculous expensive gifts, you're like, oh, gift giving is my love language.

And that's how you justify it. The issue is learning. Because I know it's a bit of a pop culture thing. You can do a quiz online. The issue is learning what yours is, but learning more so what your partner or your family member or your friends is. Because just because yours might be gift giving doesn't mean theirs is. Morgan's is acts of service.

So you, let's just say yours is physical touch and hers is acts of service. Yeah. You constantly trying to give her a massage or a foot rub. She's going, I'd rather you just put the dishes away. Yeah. So there can be conflict. Well, this feels different to touching. I feel like touching is better for everyone.

Yeah. I want to do the touching and she's going, I don't want the touching. Yeah. I throw the dishes away. We've got to learn each other's. Right. So I've been very, um, I've been an advocate for these conversations, but I regret it now.

Angus got a call the other morning. We were off somewhere and he got a call and he went, oh, I've got to go save someone. I went, oh, holy moly, what's happened? Colleague of his, flat tire, don't know what to do, and Angus gets the call up. Why would they call him? Now, this is what I.

So freaking weird. This is what I asked. If I had a flat tyre, I wouldn't call you, Babs, or this shy guy. This is a question. Who would you call? One, do you know how to change a tyre? Yes, I've heard it a few times. I've heard you change it myself.

Sure. Okay, let's say you didn't know how to do it. Who's your call? I don't know who I'd call, to be honest. Maybe, I guess I'd call Morgan. She wouldn't know what to do. Well, feel free to call Angus because apparently people are calling Angus. And my first thought was, does everyone see you as their dad?

Like you've only been a dad for just over a year. I didn't think you were the team dad. That feels like you've been, I'm not mad about it per se, but I don't want you pigeonholed as the dad guy having to save people on the weekends. Like that's family time. It's bizarre. But you're the dad. And he went, well, you know, my love language is acts of service.

And I went, all right, don't you be using love language with anyone else. He's got a point. Any Tom, Dick and Harry. It works for anyone, I guess. That's what he was trying to say. He goes, aren't you proud of me? Using love languages in a sentence. I went, no, no, no. Was this someone he knew very well?

Yes, yes, absolutely. When he gets that call, is he like, I'll be there right away? And that gets full lead in his pencil. He grew about an inch. And even though he. He loves that. I'm going to use the word abandoned, his wife and child. He did, but he went, I'm the acts of service guy.

He likes being the guy to sort it out. And the issue is he constantly fulfills that role of being the guy. Yeah. So if you did need your tyre changed, you could call him. If you did need a gas bottle brought over, he would go do it. Because acts of service is his love language. I went, no, no, I think I'm the only one who's meant to be the recipient. He goes, no, no, if you want to be into the love language,

you have to accept it for all. He's flipped you. And when I regret ever teaching you about, lucky he's freaking love languages and physical touch. Now that I think about it, it could be a lot worse. And does that carry for other people? That's my love language. It's all good.

I'm just touchy. See, I'll take a tickle from anyone. I'll take a tickle. Maybe that's how I'll get back at him. Get shy guy to start tickling my arm. Oh, wait. It's all good. I'm just touchy. See, I'll take a tickle from anyone. I'll take a tickle. Maybe that's how I'll get back at him. Get Shy Guy to start tickling my arm. Oh, wait. He's left.

I would pay money. I would pay money to see Shy Guy tickling you. Like, the most awkward thing you could witness. His love language is do not touch me, physical touch. Jess and Ducko. It's Jess and Ducko with you. I'll tell you what, someone right now heading off to see Billie Eilish. Sorry, I've just got my headspace in. Her about to win three Grammys, record song and album of the year,

11 o'clock on Channel 7. She's going up against Beyonce and Taylor, but we know it's Billie's year. It's Billie's year. Someone could score a double pass to see her right now, plus a night's accommodation in the Park Royal, Darling Harbour in Sydney, your getaway to the vibrant heart of Australia's most iconic city. It's a co-fod. Every single day this week, we have a double pass

and that night's accommodation at the Park Royal. Just for someone who gets involved. There's multiple opportunities. Always. But you never need an invitation, 131060. Look, about an hour ago, Ducko, you told us about your genius wife. Yep. Look, she's in the third trimester of cooking your child.

Yeah. Bacon away. Yeah, 29 weeks today. And yet her brain is not encumbered by baby brain. No. She is firing on all cylinders. She invented alfoil on the soap to hold the soap. The alfoil merged into the soap and became a soap hold-off when you put it on your body.

Mate, no more slippery little sucker popping out of your hands while you're trying to wash your beards. Best thing ever. Grippy, grippy soap soap, patent pending, copy right trademark. All of the above. You're going to be able to retire from this invention. Yeah. But we asked, what did you make better in your own home, in your life?

And Andrew called and told us this. I got sick and tired of changing the whipper snipper cord all the time because plastic, it just wears out. So I went to the old hill's hoist and cut some cable, and now I don't run out of cord. And that works? Yeah, yeah, except the only issue is when your wife plants new plants and you accidentally hit it, there's no more plants.

No, that would rip everything. Two notes for Andrew. Excellent invention and perfect storytelling. Mate, he was in it and we loved it. We loved it, Andrew. Congratulations. You're off to see Billie Eilish. Thank you so much, guys.

You guys are awesome. You are, Andrew. Babs has told us, you just had a chat off air, that your wife is a big fan. So in lieu of ruining all her plans with your heckers supercharged You are, Andrew. Babs has told us you just had a chat off air that your wife is a big fan. So in lieu of ruining all her plans with your heckers supercharged whippersnipper, now you can take her for a night out in Sydney to the Billie Eilish concert. Thank you.

That'll get me back in the good books. Yeah, boy. We love it. It's as easy as that. Get involved every single day on the show and those tickets can be yours. Absolutely. It's a team effort what we do here at Jess and Ducko, wouldn't you say? A bit massive team.

We're all a team. We're all a team. A team never leaves early on each other. No, no. A team supports each other. We do because, you know, we slog over that finish line but we slog together. Together as one. Wait a minute. Hang on a minute.

Shark Guy's not here because he's gone to get his car fixed. Usually there's two sausages in this room with me. There's only one. And there's only one. There's only one. It feels weird. Shark Guy left early. He left early to get his car fixed. Usually there's two sausages in this room with me. There's only one. There's only one. There's only one. It feels weird. Shy Guy left early. He left early to get his car fixed.

Apparently he couldn't get it fixed at any other time, but we're crossing lives to him. Can we just clarify it fixed? His motor wasn't broken. I know. He had a dent. A slight dent in the back of it. An old lady. How hard could you be going?

You could probably get that with a bit of boiling water. Shy Guy, you got us there? Yeah. Loud and clear. Let's have it. Come on. That car Bluetooth doesn't sound too good. Yeah, no, is that what you're getting fixed?

Yeah. Well, I will if that's the problem. But you know what else is another problem? Because I couldn't hear anything you guys just said. So we'll be sending emails after that. As in when you were on hold? Yeah, so I've tested for the rice cookers, our phone system is now broken. Okay, to be fair, when we play games,

where it requires you to hear the caller before you, that actually is a good note. Maybe Shy Guy is still working. He's still on the clock. Always on the clock, guys. He's always there. Hey, good luck with your car, mate. Let us know if you need a lift home.

We'll send someone. We'll send Babs. We'll send Babs. We'll do it. Thanks. Thanks. clock, guys. He's always there. Hey, good luck with your car, mate. Let us know if you need a lift home. We'll send someone. We'll send Babs. We'll send Babs. We'll do. Thanks. Thanks. Enjoy, mate. Oh, God, he sounds happy.

For a guy who, like, played hooky and left work early, I thought he'd be way more buzzed. I thought he'd be so jacked. Oh, he's so sad to have left us. Hey, we're out of here. We're back tomorrow. As we said, more co-pod up for grabs to see Billie Eilish in accommodation. We've got Alpha Box for 10K.

Tomorrow's Tuesday, which means... Year of the Song. Oh, Yota. Yes, Year of the Song. How good. I mean, last week, Shy Guy gave us the theme, Year of the Snake. Yeah, which... So what will we find tomorrow?

Very loose theme. Very loose. He works hard. He does work hard. Do we have another game on Tuesday to decide? I thought we... Oh, my God. Is it Babsy's blog?

Is it the blog day tomorrow? No, she's on the phone to show I got it. Can anyone in this team do something? She's not even looking at us. Oh, there she goes. She's just noticed. Hang on. Is it your blog tomorrow?

Is it your blog tomorrow? I don't think so. I thought it was Thursday. Oh, God. As you were. Go back onto your phone call. We'll be right. We're out of here.

We'll find out with us tomorrow what we're playing. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. Our child's going to hate you. I hate you. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast.

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