Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | But honey he's rich...

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

We ask what happened to your nuts, there's something Angus is doing that is giving Jess the ick and we call Ducko's for a deck update!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gather your little helpers, because the Elf on the Shelf Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco Podcast. Hi everyone! Hey! Welcome to the podcast. What a show. Big show. I have never in the same, poor, 30 second span nearly thrown up and had an asthma attack from laughing.

I'm actually sore from laughing so hard today. I was sore after the first hour from laughing so hard. It got to the point where in between the chats, like in the songs and the ads, we couldn't talk to each other because I needed to recover. I know, we needed to catch our breath. Yeah, I know. It was fun. It was a funny day.

What I'm hearing is just so fucking funny. So many lols. I don't want to say it's because it's the third last show of the year because we always have fun. No, we do, and the energy's always high, but this is the season. It is giddy. it's merry, it's jolly. You know when Babs gets a little bit

giddy and she comes in and says weird things and does odd things? Because Babs, of the four of us, and this is saying something when you've got someone like Shy Guy in the team, Babs is the straighty 180, so when she starts to let a little loose, it's contagious. Gets a bit out there, you know? She threw away her gluten-free bread to have whole gluten

bread today. Oh, trust me. I only threw it away because it was moldy. Why was it moldy? How long have you had it? I don't know. I only bought it on Sunday. That thing sweats in that little bag, though. It must have been sweating.

I reckon you should fridge that. You reckon? No, but then it's free-for-all. Can't trust the vultures in these offers. No one's taken that. Oh, that's true. That rock-hard gluten-free bread. It's not rock-hard.

It's actually really yummy. Don't you? That's not. Only a gluten-free person would say that. Exactly. All celiacs have-free bread. It's not rock-hard. It's actually really yummy. Don't worry. That's not. Only a gluten-free person would say that. Exactly. All celiacs have to change their own minds. And I get it. You've got to work with what you've got.

Have your guts just get a bad gut update? Have they been really helped by this? I don't know. Oh, they're bad again, are they? Oh, it's just. How many times have you had Guzman lately? No, I had Mexican last night, but it wasn't Guzman. That get you?

It got me last night. What? Yeah. Do you have Mexican and not be GYG? Yeah, we made... Homemade. I was going to say, have you finally got onto the Mad Mex train? Because it's better.

No, no, no. We just made homemade Mexican. Just made homemade. I don't know. I'm trying, but... I must say, advertised with the show. Tortillas are not gluten. Well, I didn't have tortillas.

It was just... You can get cardboard ones. Yeah. I don't have... Oh, no, they're snappable. Oh, it's so good. It might be because I get to the weekend and then I'm like, well... Cheers to the freaking weekend.

Are you working next week? Do you have to come and do reception next week? Yeah, for another two weeks. Oh, just two days a week? Three days? Just two. Okay. Oh, but our receptionist quit, so you're not doing five days?

No, someone else is coming in. Yeah, yeah. And then, Chaga, you're off, aren't're not doing five days. No, someone else is coming in. Yeah, yeah. And then, Chaga, you're off, aren't you? You don't have to do anything. I'm off, but I was thinking about doing admin stuff. By admin stuff, is that just doing nothing but acting like you're not taking your photos? No, I thought about putting in some replay stuff in the podcast. How many weeks of annual leave is in your employment?

Are you in the same as ours? Yeah. I don't know. I don't look. Trace does it. I don't know. But do you get four Jace does it. I don't know. But like, do you get four weeks a year or do you get six? I couldn't tell you.

Really? You don't know? I've never looked at the... Oh, so you just don't put it in. I think you just, I think you're a player. Jace puts it in for me. I think you just get it. Yeah, me too.

How good is it? I think I get the same as you. Oh, well, that's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. I was telling my girlfriend. We don't get enough. No, I couldn't agree more.

I was telling my girlfriend. She was like, and that lines up with school holidays, right? I was like, don't get a star. Oh, that doesn't make sense. No, it doesn't. Over Christmas, it works because everyone starts wrapping up. I'm pretty sure school's finished pretty soon, if not already.

But otherwise, during the year. Is school finished? I don't think it is yet. No, it depends on the school. Private school. State schools have another, I think, another week after. I think they're next week as well. But yeah, next year, I think we go deeper into December. You know how I feel about the youth on the street. Oh, it's a scary time.

It is scary. Yeah. God forbid you're walking past the bus stop at 3.30. Oh, my God. What is it around this place? Like, some days, like, a random, even weeks ago, a Tuesday or a Wednesday, like, 1 o'clock, there's just kids with their backpacks walking.

I'm like, are you finished? Oh, so, like, school. Yeah, yeah, school kids. So it's not like a student free day. What's that about? I don't know, but there was kids at the shops the other day at, like, 1 o'clock, and they had big backpacksacks and frozen drinks and one of them just spilt it all over the shop floor and they just like walked away.

And I was like, oh. Was it a mass wagging? I don't know. Or did they get spares and then they could leave? Did they look like year 11 or 12 students? They looked older. 11 or 12. But even in my high school, we weren't allowed to have spares.

Yeah, we weren't. And if we did, we weren't allowed to leave. No, same. If we had a spare, you sat in the common room. Yeah. We sat in the library at the common room. Yeah. We had a library at the common room. Yeah. Yeah, we couldn't go anywhere.

We had Westfield across the road. It was so torturous. Ooh, what a temptation. We had a Baker's Delight across the road. Oh, no, a Brumby's. We had everything. Anyway, weren't allowed to go. Separate us, train line and a fence.

Oh. What's your go-to Brumby's? Oh, my God. Finger bun. No, they used to do, this is quintessential Jay Fart. It was just a big loaf with olives. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

I think it was called an olive loaf. Yeah, I think so. Oh, Christ. I think you meant to cut it up and have it. You just pelicaned it, didn't you? Truly. See you. There's my girlfriend's getting, oh, the cookie.

Oh, the finger bun. Nah, give me that bread roll with the olives. Oh, it's like the whole thing. Have you seen that? Yeah, I've seen it. You've seen it? I've definitely never ordered it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've seen it. It's good. I love a green olive. I still can't go past a finger bun or when you go to Donut King and there's like a chocolate boy or a pink strawberry girl. The finger bun is so funny. I saw a meme the other day and it was like Australia. They're so nice.

Takes me back to my childhood. Mum used to take me to the shopping centre. I'd get one. You wanted the pink girl, didn't you? I'd be like, nah, I was going to get judged. Sometimes I'm like, why can't you do like a boy girl and do a mix mix? Well, that's very 2024. Yeah, thank you.

I saw a meme the other day and it was like, Australia, the only country where you can put icing and sprinkles on a hot dog bun and call it a treat. That's so true. I'm like, it is a hot dog bun. That's all it is. That is all it is. They got Wendy's stale hot dog buns and went, ah, put a bit of sprinkles on there. No one will know.

This'll do it. Some desiccated coconut. It's like fairy bread. That's an Australian thing. Oh, fairy. Some mum somewhere has invented that in their kitchen. Everyone's like, that's genius. That's genius.

And so colourful and cheap. We should maybe, can someone bring in fairy bread on Friday for the last show? That's screaming Babs. Huge Babs show. Babs energy. But not on your shit bread. Bring some good bread. What am I meant to do with the rest of the bread?

Go buy full gluten bread and make fairy bread. We should do something nice for our Friday show, our last show. We were doing gift exchange. How are you two going? I've already got a show. I thought of you. You guys, collectively, we're all going to have a good lol at Shy Guy's present.

Oh, really? We're all going to have a good lol at Duck Hunt. Awesome. I'm glad we got each other. Have you guys sorted each other's? Yeah, yes. Did you stick to the limit of $30? So, what do you think?

No. No, obviously. And Babs. I did for you, Shy Guy. Okay. Did you go over? I went slightly over. Oh, okay.

Babs texted me yesterday saying, I don't want to waste my money. Tell me what you actually want. But that'll be a $100 present, Babs. That's done. Well, you'll be so proud of me. How much did you get? I only went slightly over. 50.

You went 50? No. 40. $34.95. Oh, that's very good from you. I know. The restraint. I didn't even know you looked at things that cheap.

Do you know how? Because usually when I do filter, you know when you filter on a website? That's bus money. You go highest to lowest. I go high to low. And I was like, you know when you filter on a website? That's buff money. You go high to low. I go high to low and I was like, wait, there's a low to high function? Oh, okay. So what I really- It's just how the other half lived.

What I really wanted was $49.95 and I was like, nah, that feels like taking a piss. That would have been fine. No, no. Yeah, that's cheap. So then I found a cheaper $34.95 version. So you know what you're getting? Yeah, 100%. What is it?

It's a bag. Oh. Yeah, tote bag. And what's Babs getting? Babs getting a t-shirt. Can is it? It's a bag. Oh. Yeah, a tote bag. And what's Babs getting? Babs is getting a t-shirt. Can you just... What's a t-shirt? It's a cheek shirt.

It's got gingham hearts on it. Oh, it's a fucking gingham shirt. Morgan was wearing some gingham pants and I couldn't remember the name and I was like, you've got the picnic rug pants on. That's what everyone talks about. Yeah, and she's like, what? I was like, you know, the Babs pants, whatever. She didn't get it.

Because she never listens, so she doesn't know. When are we doing that? Friday. Friday, Friday. 6.10 or 6.20? Oh, okay, great. We'll do it in the show, I think. I love that.

We've already got a full Friday show. Well, colour your face to surprise, Babs. You too. Yeah, okay, we'll do. Are we wrapping them? Because I'm not a wrapper. No, put it under a tea towel. Let's be eco-friendly.

Don't waste wrapping paper. Mine needs a card for explaining. You can do an audio card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, good call. No, I can't say what I'm going to say on air for a reason you'll see when you get it. Okay. One part I can't say.

Oh, it's a multiple? No, it's one present, but just part of it. Okay. I don't want to hype up. It's not another dotty, is it? No, I did look, but they're expensive. And then I was like, Morgan's like, well, should we get them from Lube?'s one present, but just part of it. Okay. I don't want to hype it up. It's not another dotty, is it? No, I did look, but they're expensive. And then I was like, Morgan's like, well, should you get us some lube? I was like, yeah, I want to.

And then I was like, nah, I don't think I'll use it. Big tub of sorbolene. Just fucking vas. Here you go, mate. Have a rub, eh? Nothing? Not even a new one? Just your old one?

Nothing more. You just see some of my finger marks. It's like a bit of leftover dirt. Where it looks like you tried to smooth it out. You just, no one will know. Some Vegemite's in there as well. There's nothing less attractive than seeing a thing of Vaseline. I know.

I know, on a bedside table. You don't use Vaseline, do you? You can't. Cheap people, if you need to. Do you really? It would sting. I don't think it would sting. No?

Why would it sting? I think people use it. People use it? Really? Yeah. It's not marketed for that. I use a good water-based one. I love that.

KY. Yeah, KY. Yep, KY is good. Babs? I was going to say, Babs, you'll learn about this as you get a bit older. No, you only use Vaseline on my lips. Like, literally. Yeah.

Welcome to Wednesday, team. Good morning. Tell you what. Good morning. Tell you what, after being a trader yesterday on the side, I'm a bit sore. Oh, but I must say, you've done a full 180. Yeah, I've done nice. You're looking very fancy pants today.

Yeah, I have dressed. Shai guy said, no shirt, you're overdressed. I don't care for that. I don't care for the term overdressed. Are you jealous? Because you like the shirt, don't you? I don't like the brown stripes, no. I like the shirt without the stripes.

That's part of the fashion. Yeah, I don't like that. Okay. Usually you love things that I wear. I mean, I'm wearing slides. Shai stripes, no. I like the shirt without the stripes. That's part of the fashion. Yeah, I don't like that. Okay. Usually you love things that I wear. I mean, I'm wearing slides. Shy Guy, what have I said to you about how important your energy and attitude is first thing in the morning? Same with honesty?

No. Well, you said it's I'm too dressy for work. You are. Can we go around the room? Jess, do you think I'm too dressy for work? Not at all. I think you look fantastic. Babs, do you think I'm too dressy for work?

I don't think so. Thank you. It's just more dressy than I would dress for work. That's right. But, you know, I just figured a couple shows to go and I just wanted to dress up for the team. Tis the season. Yeah.

And my mum always said there's no such thing as overdress. In fact, it's better to look better than sloppy. My mum only lives in two versions. I'd say these days, these days, underdressed is better. It's so, you know. It lends itself with this oversized baggy look we've got. The kids aren't wearing heels anymore. You look at the nightclub lines and they all look like they're about to just go for a run,

basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, Ducko, cut above. You're going to stand out from the crowd today. Thank you. Thank you. You look fantastic. As I said, yeah, Dad flew in yesterday.

I'll unpack it on the show with you today. The Daddy-Son time we did on the deck. Yeah, it was very nice. Sanding and hammering in nails yesterday. And tell you what, it's pretty fun being a tradie out there. Morning to all my fellow kin. I very much was enjoying the documentation happening on your Instagram story. Yeah, thank you.

That was a big old sander you found. Yeah, she was big. I mean, you got a big old deck. I had to hire her. I had to work that thing out. I ripped up a lot of was a big old sander you found. Yeah, she was big. I mean, you got a big old deck. I had to hire her. I had to work that thing out. I ripped up a lot of sandpaper. It looked like you were doing... It looked like you were...

It looked like a jackhammer, some sort of gym. Like you were really having to keep it. Some people were replying like, why was your dad on his knees doing the hand sander in the corners? And you had the big one. I was like, that big boy needed to be ridden. It needed to be tamed. That's right.

Daddy couldn't do it. I had to do that. boy needed to be ridden. It needed to be tamed. That's right. Daddy couldn't do it. I had to do that. Sweet Chris Allen. Many skills. There was one stage where I could tell. Because Dad's, I'm not going to say his age or anything. He probably wouldn't like that. But, you know, he's been around.

He's more than 50. Yes, correct. Sure. A bit more. And he, there was one stage I could tell he got tired. Because we'd been on our knees hammering him the whole day. Did you give him little knee pads or anything? I gave him a towel.

I looked at him and I was like, oh, shit. I was like, do you want to, I'll get you a pillow. I got him a towel. Love that. Which is good. But it was one stage where I could tell he just got tired and he went inside and he was just chilling for a bit. And I was like, well, do you want to feed Pam while you're there?

Are you coming back out or? What are we up to here? Is your sandwich out? I'm just checking out this air con in here. No, he did a fantastic job. We've got plenty more to do today. Painting begins. That is a good dad. Yeah. That did a fantastic job. We've got plenty more to do today. Painting begins. That is a good dad.

Yeah. That is a good dad. He's a good dad. That's the equivalent of my mum flying in and making me lasagnas to stock up the freezer. Yes. When you need them, they'll always be there for you. The bonding. The father-son bonding was fun. But could you chat?

Like, that was allowed. Oh, not when we were sanding, but when we were hammering in every single nail into the deck. And you don't need to be chatting. It's knowing that you're there for one another. Thank you. For wiping the sweat from your brow and taking that sip from the homemade lemonade I'm assuming Morgan brought out for you.

She was at work. How dare she? But she will be. Did you take the afternoon off? She should have. She will be. Come on now. I know.

I know. Well, that's very wholesome. How was your day? Yeah, great. Yep. Got to use my friend's pool. Remember my very wholesome. How was your day? Yeah, great. Yep. Got to use my friend's pool. Remember my friend used to come over any time? We went over again.

With Lucia? Yeah, yeah. I took the baby. How's she going? Can she swim yet? Yeah, look, I'm not confident to let her go because she's got this bad habit of just dropping her face into the water. She's got a big head.

We've been, I thought the neck strength was up there, but I think we're still working on it. Yeah. But what a lovely way to spend a 33 degree afternoon in your mate's pool eating grapes. It was very decadent. Eating grapes, floating around. Lauren brought out grapes. I went, this feels very bougie.

Yeah, it does. I like it a lot. Where's the donut for me to sit in? Yeah, I was going to say, it sounds like you should be sitting on a donut. Can you watch the baby? I'm just going to chill for a bit. She's got two kids herself, did I forget to mention? Oh, no.

I feel like you both have your whale tails on and you're just floating around. That's the best part of just going to chill for a bit. Yeah. She's got two kids herself, did I forget to mention? Oh, no. I feel like you both have your whale tails on and you're just floating around. That's the best part of just going to your mate's house. Yeah. Let it all hang out. Yeah, we'll all go. We don't care. She goes, I haven't shaved. I said, neither have I.

Don't even worry about it. That's all good. What about you, Shaga? You have a good day? Yeah. What did I do yesterday? I can't, don't remember what I did. Didn't expect you to.

No. No. Anything exciting? No, it was a good day. No, nothing exciting. Okay. I had a nap, I did. Didn't expect you to. No. No. It was a good day. No, nothing exciting. I just had a nap, I think, at one point. That's exciting. Is it? You're well rested.

This is our third last show of the year, team. That's right. When that alarm, well, my alarm went off this morning. I'd been awake for an hour and a half because the baby started screaming at four. But I genuinely had that thought. I went, whoop, only two more of these after this. Yeah. That's, yeah, I'm going to miss you guys every day.

Absolutely. Don't worry, we're coming back December 25th. Oh, we've got the Christmas show spectacular. We've got the Christmas show extravaganza. But we do have a big show today before then, of course. Alphabucks, choice your chance at 10K, 1K, 630 and 8. But today, 25K Shy Guy dips. The last one.

This is it. Your slice of the biscuit slash pie. And fridge magnet. And fridge magnet. And packet of biscuits. Oh, yes. Last one. This is it. And fridge magnet. And fridge magnet. And packet of biscuits. Oh, yes. Last one. This is it.

And then we're out of biscuits. We're not doing it next year in biscuit form. Shy Guy dips something. Or Shy Guy does something. Shy Guy does. Shy Guy dibs. We'll work it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So be a part of history today. This is it. This is it. We're also going to do one of the great phone topics. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming up for the lads. For the lads. We had one of the greatest calls of all time

yesterday. And we couldn't just let it go for a Tuesday. We brought it back for the Wednesday. We're going to ask what happened to your nuts. Start thinking about it now. Start just preparing. Particularly, I would say, maybe you don't have a story, but if you are a gentleman who has nuts, just brace. Start bracing.

If you're a gentleman that doesn't, we feel you. We feel you. We're sorry. That's right. Actually, that'd be a good story to tell. Something happened. Yeah. Like what happened to Lefty.

Oh, Lefty lost his lefty. Yeah. That's right. Anyway. It's all coming up on the show. No, I think Lefty lost his righty. That's why he's called Lefty. Copy.

Yeah. I mean, it was a heinous story. I was in pain. I've never heard a testicle referred to as Old Matey. Old Matey. Copy, yeah. I mean, it was a heinous story. I was in pain. I've never heard a testicle referred to as old matey. Old matey, yeah, yeah. For me, footy mates. The phone topic was either what happened to your nuts or what did your footy mates do to you?

What did your team do to you? We'll double barrel. When did your team take it too far? Load it up. Up next, though, there's new law going around Australia that I didn't realise involving feeding birds. Okay. In public.

Okay. We've had to take it to Parliament, have we? I don't mean feeding ladies. From nuts to birds. No, birds. We've had to take it to Parliament. Birds. Real birds.

Just, I want to let the people know, in case you're out. Oh, cue up Billie Eilish. No, for once, we're not playing it first. Terrible song. Jess and Daco. Jess and Daco. David. DJ.

Alpha Ville over Max. I was listening to some old school David Getty yesterday, actually. Talked to me. Titanium. See ya. What a track. Sand in the neck. For your love.

What's that album he had? One More Love. One More Love. One More Love. That was like sexy bitch. Oh, I love that. Well, commercial radio, sexy chick. Sexy chick, yeah, yeah. I had the uncensored version on because obviously, you know.

Because you were over 18. Yeah, I was just a little bit on the edge. Yeah, I love that. You click that button. Yes, I am over 18. Dad looked at me while he had the sand. He said, is this the uncensored? I said, it is, Dad.

He said, oh, naughty. Will the neighbours complain? How's this? I was at my bloody sensory class with the baby the other day. I hope the baby was there. Yeah, she was. What was the song? Oh, you know, Dua Lipa's IDGAF.

Yes. Mate, the teacher obviously had the uncensored. And I'm like, um, Kirsty. Did you say something? Well, no, because I was like, I really like that song. But I just kind of went, ah, they're all under the age of. They wouldn't know. They're under the age of 13 months, all these kids.

But I was like. They can't hear it. There'd be some mums in there that would complain, though, you'd think. Absolutely. I used to be in charge of the music when I worked at the Good Guys. And the number of times I let, you know, something a little naughty come through. Christ. They didn't just play it.

Come and see the good, good, good. No, not on repeat. They had old Jay Farch on the iPod. And we know what you were like in that place. Hey, talk to us about the white goods. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Am I right? You're in the back room.

So, you know, you were too busy on the washing machine and all of a sudden IDGAF is playing. Those white goods aren't so white after I'm doused. What colour are they? What do I even mean? What colour are they? What do I even mean? What colour are they? What do I even mean? They're disgusting.

What do I even mean? I don't know. You said it. What does that even mean? I don't know. Horrific. Anyway, let's talk birds. You should have got a discount on that.

Me lay is all I'm saying. It was stained. We get it. Why is it dinted? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. There is a huge dint on the top of this. It kind of looks like an arm.

I'm just trying to peel back this sticky stuff. I just don't know why I can't. Is that egg yolk? No. No. You want to talk about birds? Not really. I was enjoying talking about you. If people didn't get it, Jess had sex.

Now, I got a bit distracted in the last chat a couple of minutes ago trying to talk about pigeons. What distracted you? Yeah, I don't know. Just someone in the team. That's not sure I'll go about. It's so funny. People often go, you know, how do you not swear? How do you keep it together?

And I go, because you know I'm a professional. And then sometimes you say stuff, you go, oh, goodness gracious. Wait, did that come out? Yeah, I do. Why did that come out of my mouth? Yeah, what are we doing? Yeah. But I want to talk fines that you can get for feeding pigeons in public.

I know it's a bit of a gear change. This is, hey, don't put us in a box. Yeah, that's it. This is a public service announcement because I was not aware. Neither. You could get fined for this. Only in two states. Okay.

But they want to bring it to more. So New South Wales is looking to bring it in. Oh, you know what? Moneymaker. Moneymaker. Just revenue. No, this is just a moneymaker. This is mainly for South Australia and WA. Okay, but we could see it here, potentially. So pigeons, in public or at your own home, this can stand.

You might think you're doing off some good when you tear off a piece of bread. Yeah, they always look hungry, those little scavengers. Can we all can you do your best pigeon? Oh, with pleasure. They actually have a lovely coo, don't they? They do have a nice coo. That was so good.

Just the way you looked at me. Your eyes, you did it. Then you looked at me like, holy crap, did you hear me just do that? Did you hear me? You know when you don't realise you've got a skill and then you try for the first time and you nail it? It's how I was hoping. She looked at me like, have we just unearthed a complete new talent?

It was how I was hoping I would be when I tried surfing. Like I would just take to the water. You'd just be fine. It didn't work. But I think that was good. That was good. Shaga? Cool.

I can't do it. No, come back to me. Babs, babs, babs. Come on. Okay, guys, I know I was amazing, but now this is embarrassing. Darko, you're good. Yeah, that's nice. Shark, I give up.

You're embarrassing yourself. You're up, mate. Keep going. We'll get there. You asked. Everyone listening right now, do a pigeon if you want, because here's the real pigeon. Is that pigeon underwater?

Oh, yeah. That pigeon sounds like it's blowing bubbles. That pigeon sounds like it's flowing bubbles. That pigeon sounds like it's on its way out. From now on, your pigeon is the pigeon we were going. Thank you so much. My husband saved a bird yesterday. It might have been a pigeon. Yeah.

A little baby one fell out of a tree. He put it in a box and up in the awning. Oh. It didn't take it to the vet. It was fine. No, it was fine. It just couldn't because it can't fly. And the mama was in the nest up in the tree going,

that's getting cat now, I've lost it. Was that just a mum bird? Was that just a mum bird calling? That might have been a pigeon. Look, in Western Australia and South Australia, you can receive fines of up to $30,000. Excuse me? Yeah, for feeding pigeons.

Excuse me? I get less for tax evasion. It's ridiculous. What? I'm not sure, by the way. Don't tax evade. So what you're saying is... So apparently, it depends where you are and what you're doing,

but because pigeons are such a pest, they're so problematic for lots of reasons, health risks, they carry diseases that are transmitted to humans. Oh, I didn't know that part. Yeah, really easily transmitted to humans. Feeding them encourages larger portions of birds to come because you feed one pigeon. He's bringing Bob, Jane, Bill, Barry, Susie, Sarah, Gary, Ryan.

They're all coming. You know what I mean? That was good. Thank you so much. That was good. Names is a weird skill I have. And it's funny because every time we go overseas, you hit me with those names even though we're in, you know, Romania.

Russia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas for pigeons. That works. That really works. It does, doesn't it? And there's a Frank, too, and no one likes Frank. There's always a Frank.

Frank's got the gimpy legs. He does. Shaga, you're Frank. Give us your Frank. Cool. There he is. And he's always so slow to get to the bread because he's got no killer instinct, Frank. Yeah, he doesn't.

Yeah, yeah. It's survival of the fittest. We've got to feed him. We're keeping him afloat. Anyway, they can overpopulate. They can disrupt local ecosystems because they're not our native bird. Where are pigeons native? So they're all over the world.

There's 40 different species of them in Australia alone. Yes. Geez, if you put 40 species of pigeon in a room, I don't think I could differentiate. They're different. Well, I mean, by the coos. Geez, if you put 40 species of pigeon in a room, I don't think I could differentiate. They're different. Well, I mean, by the coos. Yeah, maybe. There's the Wonga pigeon.

Oh, yeah. The large, shy bird that lives on coastal areas. Yeah. And there's the Cressida pigeon, which is the most common one. Okay, you had 25 minutes to get me that answer. And I still haven't heard where their origins are from. It's all over the world. There's not one specific place because there's so many species.

I don't know where the first one came from. Yeah, that's what origin means, Dal. Give me another 25. Columbia, Columbia, Columbia. Oh, there we go. That's all I needed to know. I didn't need to know about the long coastal fidget. Excuse me.

Frank, you've done it again, Frank. Did you want the cresting? No bread for you today, Frank. That stray cat looking Frank up and down going, not even I'm going to eat you. Anyway, apparently if you feed them in your yards as well, neighbours will start filming in South Australia. Oh, no, it's the Dobbin policy.

Yeah, because lots of pigeons come, as we said, all the friends come. What about the older people? Like my uncle used to keep birds and pigeons and stuff. Oh, that's weird. No, it's not. He just put some crumbs in the backyard. But see, then you want us all to get sick? What about racing pigeons?

You want us to get bird flu? Is that what you're saying? Well, don't eat the pigeon. Well, but they carry it. They're so dirty. Have you ever touched one? No. They're one of the few creatures that you want to pat.

Oh, look at you. But if you did. They do look soft. They do look soft. They do look soft. Except for the ones you see in the malls of like shopping areas and stuff like that. They look like, you know, fighters. Like they've had to really stand on their own. I feel like they get stuck in the mall and they never leave.

Oh, they don't know how to get out. And all those spikes on the roofs and stuff. And you see them. Oh, they're horrible. The spikes. I hate the spikes. Well, I mean, you know. I get it.

I get it. You don't want bird poo everywhere. Gotta keep Frank out somehow. I don't like the spikes. It's cruel. I get it. You don't want bird poo everywhere. Got to keep Frank out somehow. I don't like the spikes. It's cruel. Where are they meant to sit? Not in our shopping centre or our lawns. And you can get a $30,000 fine if you feed them.

$30,000 feels too much. That feels like a rot. That feels like a rot. Anyway, Frank, would you pigeon us out to get into Alphabucks? Cool. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Alpha Bucks.

Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back if there's time. These are the rules of engagement, but I don't even know why I say them. Everyone knows it. I think they do. Yeah, I think everyone gets the game.

Yeah, everyone understands. Olivia, do you understand the game? I sure do. I don't know if Olivia was like, no, it's the first time I've heard and I've gotten through. Long time, first time. I love that. Livvy, the question is, do you want to play for $10,000 or $1,000 with the kids' questions?

I'm going to try and do the $1,000. Do you know what? That's smart. Play it safe. Everyone this week has gone. The big bucks, we get it. Christmas is around the corner. And I don't know.

Maybe it's been nerves, pressure. But no one's got over like five. I wouldn't say they've been the hardest quizzes. I think we've had harder. I think so. So, Liv, great choice. You're locking in the kids' questions. You want to spend it on Christmas presents

or what's on the agenda? No, I've been spending all my money on my kids, so I want to take myself away. I think I need a bit of a break from them. Get rid of them. Maybe you'd like to take yourself to... Look, you might need more than a thousand, but work with me. Maybe you want to take yourself to Columbia, where you might need more than a thousand, but work with me. Yeah. Maybe you want to take yourself to Columbia.

Columbia. Where we've just worked out the pigeon originated from. Oh, very true. Because Columbia starts with the letter C, and that's what you're going to work with, Liv. No problem. Okay. Your time. Imagine you in Columbia and no kids, Liv.

She's picturing it. Good answer. Good job. I'll picture it. Your time will job. Well, I was picturing it. Your time will start after. I'll see myself out. Now, Liv's still there. She's just in her mind.

Oh, yeah. Are you in Columbia right now, Liv? Yeah, I'm just laughing at you. Yeah, okay. You know, I'm getting that. You ready to go, Liv? All right, sure. All right, your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter C, we need you to name an insect. Something at the hairdressers. A Disney character. A zoo animal. An ice cream. An instrument. A chip flavour. Pass. An instrument. Pass. A chip flavour.

Chicken. A job. Cricket court. A video game. Pass. A boy's name. Ah, no. That was tough, that one.

That was a tougher one. Yeah. You got yourself half, though. You got ourselves five. Another five. An insect, which we do seem to love on the kids' questions. Yes. Could have been a cockroach.

Killed one of those this morning. Did you? Too early for a cockroach to be scurrying around my bathroom. Well, I like that cockroach. He's hot. An ice cream. An ice cream could have been a cornetto. Oh, I've got the cornetto.

I love it. Have we been getting the cornetto minis lately? What's better, cornetto or drumstick? Cornetto. I think so, too. Yeah, I think cornettoetto. I love it. We've been getting the Cornetto minis lately. What's better, Cornetto or drumstick? Cornetto. I think so too. Yeah, I think Cornetto. My husband thinks drumstick. Ooh, huge topic of contention.

We'll do that on the show tomorrow. Let's, yes. Tis the back end of the year. An instrument could have been a clarinet. A video game could have been Call of Duty. But if you don't game, you're not going to know, I suppose. My son plays it every day. Oh, Olivia, don't tell him you missed that one.

And you had an easy one coming up. It was Boy's Name, which I think you would have got. So let's say you got six. Let's round it up for the good times. $100 to spend at my soda gift box. So that is all yours. Okay, Liv? Thank you so much.

It's not Columbia, but it's pretty good. We're not dancing in Columbia. We're not dancing in Columbia on a tabletop. No. With a caprioska in hand. Yes. But. It's okay.

My soda gift box, pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. We had one of the best phone calls we've ever had, I'm going to say, for the whole year. Certainly confronting. It happened yesterday. We asked how bad was the wedgie? Yes. And we had a variety of calls.

And then we ended. He was a late phoner-upperer too. I remember seeing Babs put him across late. You can tell he'd been flirting with calling us. He's like, do I tell this story to the guys? Ah, I'm going to do it. I mean, it's a $1,000 Hall of Fame prize this week. Yes.

Why wouldn't I get involved? This was Scott telling us how bad his wedgie was. And you'll see why we're asking off the back of it, what happened to your nuts? Back in the old football days, one of the front rowers decided to try an atomic wedgie. Yeah. My right one got separated from my body and it almost dropped out. The bag got ripped off my body.

The whole testicle's fallen out, but it was still attached by a bit of sinew at that stage. I'm trying to bug it back in. And yet I didn't see the other front row come up behind me. He goes, no, do it properly. Pulled even harder. What? But it's tissue, and then I had to go crawl around the floor

and pick old matey up. No, you didn't. No, that can't be true. Like a marble. Like a lost marble. Okay. And what happened? Did you get them back in?

Did the ambulance come? Did you put it on ice? Yeah. I've taken it. I put it on ice, took it up to the hospital. They couldn't reattach it. Now my nickname's lefty. And we said, you're joking.

This is the gear. He said, no, this is real. This is real. I'm in pain, like visceral pain, hearing it back. There's the video on the Jess and Ducker Instagram page right now. You can really tell who in the room listening to that story has nuts and who doesn't because you and Shy Guy go green. I feel sick already.

And Babs and I are on the floor. Yeah, you're laughing. You guys are like, oh. We're looking for his nuts. You're trying to find it. What does it look like? Where is it? Hence the question. Yeah. yeah, laughing. You guys are like, oh. We're looking for his nuts. You're trying to find it. What does it look like? Where is it? Hence the question.

Yeah. What happened to your nuts? Our nuts, they're delicious. 13, 10, 16, what happened to your nuts? Or subsequently. Yeah. Should we do the double barrel? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, Scott said that was his own teammates. It was his teammates. Playing footy back in the day. A couple of front rowers. Yep. Did your teammates take it too far? What did your teammates do to you? What did your teammates do to you? Teammate. It was his teammates. Playing footy back in the day. A couple of front rowers. Yep. Did your teammates take it too far? What did your teammates do to you? What did your teammates do to you?

Teammate pranks. Maybe it was a Mad Monday silliness. Or just like Scott, that sounded like it was bloody training or something. Jeez, that's an atomic wedgie too over the head. Oh, I love that so much. Thank you, Scott, because I've not stopped laughing about that story. But yeah. We've had a text come through from a good friend of the show,

Ucha Deb. Ucha, IBS Deb. Ooh Char Deb. She doesn't like it when I call her that. Oh, she doesn't? No, that's what she's known for. She goes, she's a nurse. She goes, years ago, I was nursing back in the UK, and one of my charges, one of my patients,

was an older gentleman, and he was sitting there, and he needed a sponge bath. That was her duty, make sure he's all good. The issue is, he was in hospital because he had an injury to his ball bag. She goes, I was not prepared for what I saw. Can I say bollocks? Or is that a better one? You've just said ball bag, so.

Oh, is that okay? That's like the least offensive thing you've said this hour. Yeah, okay, great. Did you hear what you said at 6.10? That was 6.10. You're so true. 45 minutes ago is a different time. I thought you were witty.

Here's what Deb said. His whole bollocks was the size of two mangoes, no BS. Oh. But the bag itself was torn. Oh. So the nuts are fully on display. The size of mangoes? What?

You definitely get a photo. What? That's an impressive feat, just for a good time. She goes, it makes me nauseous just thinking about the pain that man must have been in. An older gentleman as well. She had to tidy them up? She had to clean them. She had to clean them?

So much surface area to cover. I had to wash them. He said he couldn't feel anything. Oh my gosh, he was 22 at the time. We don't pay our nurses enough. That feels hazardous. Case in point. I can't wash them. He said he couldn't feel anything. Oh my gosh, he was 22 at the time. We don't pay our nurses enough. That feels hazardous. Case in point. I can't feel it.

You're just going to have to keep, you know. That feels, you know, that's very. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see what you're saying. Hey, 131060, what happened to them? What happened to them? Maybe it was from a wedgie like Scott. I had a mate who had them twisted.

Good friend of the show, Wally. He had them twisted. Not old twisty McGee. I'll tell twisty Wally. He probably can't go to KFC and ever order a twister. He can't watch the Helen Hunt movie. Twister. All the sequels.

All the Glenn Powell remake. There's a cow. Don't. You'll trigger him. Don't. You'll get him. What happened to your nuts? These nuts.

$13,000, $10,000, $60,000 is the call of fame, gentlemen. And I appreciate Scott's story. He's unbelievable. He won't be that good. We know. We know. That's got to be a once in a lifetime. Yeah.

However, something's got to happen to him. You guys are walking around with him all day, every day. They're hazards. They're hazards. Dangling down. They really are. Particularly if you're a shy guy. So give us a call and we'll get you on there.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. down. They really are. Particularly if you're a shy guy. So give us a call and we'll get you on there. 13 10 60. What happened to your nuts? These nuts. We had one of the greatest callers ever yesterday. His name was Scott or should I say Lefty. Because back in his day, it sounded like he was at maybe training for footy or maybe his local Saturday game. When one of his teammates, front rower, came up behind him and tried to do an atomic wedgie. That's where we get the waistband over the back of the head. Yeah.

And hook it over the forehead. Yeah. He's ripped it up so hard, he's basically sliced the ball bag open. I can't believe that. If that's not bad enough, the other front rowers come along being like, no, do it properly. Hoiked him again. No.

So much so that the actual nut itself has fallen from bag onto ground. It just doesn't. It doesn't. It's not. And he's had to go crawling around. To find it. Hence the nickname Lefty. Couldn't really attach it.

My husband wanted us to do what fell on the ground. Yeah, well, that's fun too. But instead we're doing what happened to your nuts? More, yeah. I was going to say safer. It's probably not. What fell on the ground. That's fun too. But instead we're doing what happened to your nuts. Yeah. I was going to say safer. It's probably not. What fell on the ground could be anything, but you know. My baby.

We could have gone a million ways. What fell out of you. Yeah, yeah. What's your teammate studio, which is what we're also doing. What's your teammate studio. We've got a Peter on 131060. Peter, what happened to your nuts? It wasn't me, mate. It was me boss.

Oh, fantastic. He was fixing the shed roof and he had timber across the roof. So he's put timber down now on one side and he would make it because he was a nudist. Peter, you've got to lead with that. Peter, you've got to start with the nudist. Your boss is a nudist. Yeah, well, he's a nudist.

So he never dribbled it like clothes on in his own yard. So he's fixing his own shed and he's climbed up on the roof, mailed one side of the timber down, and he's bent down to put the other one on and didn't realize his ball sack actually went between the two pieces of timber. What are you meaning in real life? How big is that thing? And then he went to stand up, and he realized, oh, I can't stand up. But the funny thing was he was calling out to someone to help him

and the only person who helped him was the neighbour. And the neighbour goes, I'd hate to tell you this, mate, but can you come through the other gate? I'll pass you a hammer, but can you knock the wood back up so I can get my bill to you? Pick those things to get trapped under the wood. And his wife said, I would have just left him there. We don't need them.

Learn your lesson. I'm all for embracing the natural state of the human body. But if you are working with anything sharp or tools of any sort, I think we've got to secure the boys. At least wear a jockstrap. At least. We go to Kim on 131060. Kim, a guy you worked with had issues with his berries.

Yeah. We go to Kim on 131060. Kim, a guy you worked with had issues with his berries. Yeah, a guy that we worked with, his nickname used to be Fishlip, and he decided to sit on a line of the trolleys and not move. He was just like, no, I just want to sit down for a while. I was like, no, get up and do something. You haven't worked. And he refused to move, and then we went to shove a heap more trolleys into that line of trolleys. And, yeah, we said to him, you know, move, and he we went to shove a heap more trolleys into that line of trolleys, and, yeah,

we said to him, you know, move, and he still wouldn't move. So we rammed him in there, and, yeah, he's nuts are stuck in the middle of them all. In the middle of the trolley line, like you pushed it against him? Yeah, they got pinched. Yeah. They got pinched.

Oh, Kim. That'll teach you, Fishlips. Why was his nickname Fish Lips. Why was his nickname Fish Lips? He ended up getting named Waffle. Because they got stomped. Yeah. They got flattened. That sounds like a fun workplace. That really does.

I want to be with you guys. Come here, Fish Lips. Up your waffle now. Emma. Emma, good morning to you. Good morning. Emma, you want to talk about your brother's nuts? A lot of nominations here.

What happened to him? So my brother was about 11 at the time, I think, and him and all his friends used to modify their push bikes and go around the bike track and jump their bikes and my brother took a jump and didn't quite make it and he stacked and because his handlebars had no grips on them they went straight into his groin and nearly took out his complete manhood. They had to disconnect the handlebars from the bike, take him to hospital, surgically remove them. They put a skin graft over where it went in. Wait, Emma, sorry, the handlebars have like pierced him? Yeah, yeah. Right in through his groin and was like right up in his junk.

And he was off school for weeks. And it was like the skin graft didn't take properly. So like I'd come home from school in the afternoon and it just smelt like rotting flesh. Oh, no. Okay, we're good. We'll leave it there. What?

And did he recover fully? Are they okay today? Yeah, yeah. He's got a daughter now, and believe it or not, he still does incredibly dumb stuff like he did back then. Mate, if you're not going to learn your lesson. Oh, mate, please tell me you gave him a good nickname or something, Emma.

You know what I mean? We call him Jillbag. That'll do. Well, the rice cookers didn't disappoint. I reckon producer Sean Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. My guy dips.

I'm so excited to win the biscuit. Yep, we all are because the biscuit is not just a biscuit and a fridge moment you win. This is the last chance to win your share of $25,000. $5,000 up for grabs right now on 131060. That's right. We have played this game all year, and there is an elite pool of people who can now go forth and say, yes, I speak Shai Gyanese. I was able to work out what the hell he was talking about. Yep.

Giving these crazy clues. Now, was it last week or the week before we gave away a second? It was the week before. Second clue got it. That's right. 4,500 last week, I think, was a smaller one. Yeah, it was a bit little. So let's see what shy guys pulled today for our last ever iteration.

So last week on Etsy's last dips. We have milked the biscuit aisle dry. So next year, probably no biscuits. This game began in like week one of the show as a joke. And I think it actually started because you said something about him enjoying a glass of milk. And we're like, well, what goes with a nice glass of milk? Well, a crisp little becky. And thus Shy Guy Dips was born.

But this is the last ever time. Are you nervous, Shy Guy? I feel pretty flat on it. Like, excited, sorry. Well, I'm sad that it's ending. How is that different to how you usually feel? I'm sad that it's ending, though. I'm sad that it's ending.

Flat makes it feel like you don't want to be here. No, no, no, not that. No, just that it's ending. He's already insulted your shirt today. Yeah, it's good that it's ending because we've run out of biscuits. Well, I know. The biscuit aisle is plentiful,

but it is finite. We've exhausted them all without going to your bite-a-wheats and stuff. Well, I know. The biscuit aisle is plentiful, but it is finite. We've exhausted them all without going to your bite-a-wheats and stuff. Yeah, yeah, totally. Oh, well, it's controversy when we do jacks. But enough dilly-dallying. Enough of that, yeah. The first clue, please, Shy Guy. It's round.

Oh, it's a classic. That's a good one. It's a classic clue from Shy Guy. That's a vintage Shy Guy clue. Well, we know it's not square or rectangle. Don't you be calling up saying something that is rectangular. Uh-uh. He's just told you.

And you get another clue as well. First game off the ring. 13, 10, 60. Shy Guy dips for 5K. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you?

My milk, my milk, my milk. Shy Guy dips. I'm of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. Shy Guy Dips. I'm so excited to win a biscuit. It's an elite select pool of people who can say, I won Shy Guy's biscuit. I did. And the fridge magnet. And the fridge magnet.

Of course. But the past couple of weeks, we've given you a slice of a $25,000 pie. Giddy up. If you can work out what today's biscuit is, first go, $5,000 cash, Giddy up. If you can work out what today's biscuit is, first go. $5,000 cash just in time for Christmas. How good would that be?

With every incorrect guess, we're going to take $500 off the pool. Yep. I think the smallest amount we've given is still $1,500. Still fantastic for guessing a bicky. And the most we've given was $45. Shaga did say, because obviously we were texting last night, and he was just saying how he's warming up, and he's very nervous for his big game.

He said, I'm going to go pretty rogue today. I'm going to go hard. He's got to go big. Because this will be the final taste in the mouth. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. The last ever biscuit. We've heard today's biscuit is circular.

Yeah. But we go to Steph. Good morning, Steph. Hey, guys. How you going? Good, Steph. Good. Thank you.

You get a supplementary clue, as all first callers do. Shy Guy? Yep. Your second clue is there's a combination of flavours. Ooh. I've never heard that clue before. No, that's different. That's different, Steph, for $5,000.

What is Shy Guy's biscuit? Is it a Monte Carlo? It is not a Monte Carlo. Sorry, Steph. I see what she was doing there because you've got the, what's a Monte Carlo? Caramel? Yeah. But then you've got that chocolate out of layer.

Maybe this will help people. Anyway. Alicia. Look at you helping the rice cookers. I'm just trying to help. Hopefully I'd help, Alicia. Look at you helping the rice cookers. I'm just trying to help. Hopefully I'd help, Alicia. Good morning to you. Morning.

Morning. Morning. A clue for Alicia, please. Yep. Dark packaging. Okay. Alicia, for $4,500, what is it? Is it one of those chocolate royales?

The ones with the caramel and the... I think it's like biscuit and got caramel and then chocolate around the outside. Is it called a royale? I think it's called a royale, isn't it? Is that what you're locking in, royale? Yes. It is not. Sorry.

And we move down the list, which means we go to $4,000. We go to Chloe. Good morning, Chloe. Hello. Good morning. Chloe, we've heard circular, combination of flavours, dark packaging. How about another clue for our friend Chloe? Yes, please.

Oh, God. Come on, mate. Take your time. It's kind of like a flower. It's round, overall round. Yeah, we've Come on, mate. Take your time. It's kind of like a flower. It's round, overall round. Yeah, we've heard circular. Yeah. Yeah.

There's like a flower sort of look to it. Hang on a minute. Show me the packet. Show me the packet. Flower. Oh. Flower. It is game.

Flower sort of look. Let me get you one out. Okay. I don't think that helps, but I was going to say Oreo. Do you want to lock in Oreo? That's a good guess because of all the others. Yes. It's not an Oreo. I appreciate combination of flavours again.

Also, don't think too much into the flower part. 52 weeks we've done this game. Ellie, hello. Hi, how are you? So good. What are we up to? 3,500. Thank you, Ducco.

Ellie, you get another clue. Yeah, Ellie, your clue is there's a word on this one. Ooh, a word on the biscuit? Yeah. Ooh. Okay, okay, interesting. Ellie, what do you reckon? Oh, um, what do you reckon? Oh, um...

Raspberry shortcake? It is not. Again, people are really leaning into the combo of flavours. Clue, I love it. We need another clue. We've got a Steve. Good morning, Steve. Morning, guys.

What are we up to, 3,000? 3,000. Steve gets a clue. Steve, your clue is that it's made in the UK. Oh, hang on a minute. Hang on, Australian. What? How dare you?

That's a massive clue. Made in the UK. It's round with a flowery top, kind of. Yeah, word on there. Combination of flavours. Dark packaging. Yeah. Steve, what is it?

Wagon wheel. Oh, I do love a good wagon wheel. I think they're made here. Are they made here? I think they're in Arnott's, boy. Okay, it's not a wagon wheel. We're going to Therese. Imagine if it was because that always gets guessed, wagon wheel.

Yeah. I don't know if we've ever actually given away a wagon wheel. I don't think we ever have. Therese, hello. Hello. What are we up to, 25? 25. 2,500.

Still good. And another clue for Therese. Yes, please. Inspired by an animal in the naming. 25. 2,500. Still good. And another clue for Therese. Yes, please. Inspired by an animal in the naming. Oh. All right, Therese. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good clue.

That's a huge one. And only because I'm looking at the packet. Yeah, because you know what it is. Because I know what it is. Inspired by an animal. The name of the biscuit. Well, I did have another one in mind, but now I'm thinking of jumping ship.

Yeah, you've got to pivot with all the information. Is it a Kingston? What animal would that be inspired by? A lion? Oh, on the packet. That's great from you. That's great. No, but that is not right.

That's great thinking. I reckon Therese has gone very lateral there. The animal is quite literally the animal. It's much more specific. Yeah, yeah. Karen, good morning to you. Good morning. How are you?

So good. We're still playing for 2K. $2,000 for our friend Karen, but she gets another clue. Karen, there's a hole in the middle of this biscuit. What? A hole? A hole. An animal?

A hole. You can see through it. I can see it. Give me one of those biscuits. I want to see it. Karen, quick recap. Circular, combo of flavours. I'm going to bite into it if this helps.

Duck. Packaging. A flowery look. That's actually really good. There's a word on it. It's made in the UK. What is it? That's nice.

It's not what I thought. I thought it was like a TikTok biscuit. It's got a word written on it. Think of the animals. You've got to pivot, Karen. Come on. That's actually a nice biscuit. I've never seen that before.

You want to lock in? The Angulo one, the one that's got the animals written on the box. Oh, I don't even know what it's bloody called. Sorry, Karen. We can't. We're going to need something here, Karen. We're going to need something, Karen. TikTok.

Just TikTok. TikTok. It is not. We go to Brittany for $1, Karen. TikTok. Just TikTok. TikTok. It is not. We go to Brittany for $1,500. Good morning, Britt. Hello. Is it a jam biscuit? Oh, you're straight ahead.

Do you want another clue? You get another clue. Oh. Do you want it or do you want to just lock in? No, take the clue. You've got to take the clue. Brittany's like, wrap it up, guys. You've gone for too long.

It's going forever. Take the clue. All right, I told you before there was a combination. Of flavours. I'll tell you the combination. Shortbread and chocolate. Interesting. Interesting.

That's huge. Round circle, shortbread, chocolate, animal, flowery top. Made in the UK. You're right. And there's a word on it. I know. Brittany, what is it? Is it not the Gryphon chocolate?

Oh, I love that. It's inspired by animals. Okay, we now go down to $1,000. We go to Amanda. Good morning, Amanda. Oh, this is the lowest, but still $1,000. Yeah. Sorry, Amanda, hello.

Hi, how are you? Good. You get another clue. Jeez, this is the most clues we've ever given away, shy guy. Yeah, it says fabulous on the packaging. Oh, okay. You're just spelling it out now, aren't you? Yeah, I'm trying.

Amanda, what is it? Fox's Fabulous Chocolatey Biscuits. Yeah! You got it, and no one has ever heard of those before today. No, I've never heard of it. Did you say you've never heard of it? No, my daughter guessed it. Oh, your daughter.

Does she like them, does she? I have no idea. Oh, well, they are the Fox's Fabulous Biscuits, and they are quite delicious, I will say this. I have never seen these on the supermarket shelves. They must be either really high up or really low down. Like, Arnott's has perfect bulk, you know, spiced in the biscuit aisle.

But they're good. I would say I just tried one then. Fox's Fabulous Chocolate. No, because these are caramel-laden. Amanda, Amanda, you. But they're good. I would say I just tried one then. Fox's Fabulous Chocolate. No, because these are caramel. Amanda, Amanda, you just won a fridge magnet. You just won $1,000. You just won Shy Guy's Biscuit for the last time of the year.

Oh, my God, that's amazing. We literally put, we're on our way to Queensland, and we literally pulled over on the road to get it. Oh, that's amazing. Is your daughter with you right now, Amanda? She's shouting out. Say hello. Hello. Mum, shut up's amazing. Is your daughter with you right now, Amanda? She's shouting out. Say hello. Hello. Mum, shut up.

How old's your daughter? She's like, you're embarrassing me. How old's your daughter? She's 13. 13? Fantastic. Well, well done, Amanda's daughter. Yep.

What is your daughter's name, Amanda? Kayla. All right, we're going to need, hi, it's Amanda and Kayla. We've got to give Kayla some credit here. Yeah, yeah. I need you to say nice and crisp and clear. Hi, it's Amanda and Kayla. We've got to give Kayla some credit here. I need you to say nice and crisp and clear. Hi, it's Amanda and Kayla, and we're so excited. We won Shy Guy's Biscuit.

Go. Hi, it's Amanda and Kayla, and we're so excited we won Shy Guy's Biscuit. Yay! Jess and Ducko. Controversy is blowing up the adult Bluey fans Facebook page. Oh, the adults fans Facebook page. I didn't even know I was in this group. I popped up on Facebook.

I didn't even know I'd been in there. You had to put up forms in when you go in. I must have. I must have done it. You know, sometimes I just scroll Facebook. This is a little insight into how I look for content on the World Wide Web. I look, I scroll through Facebook

and I don't even look at posts, like what the content is. I just look for how many comments has this post garnered. And if it's over a hundred, I'm like, ooh, what's this conversation? And then I work backwards. What are you looking for? Jess is just getting into the World Wide Web.

Hold on. She replies to my email every night. Sorry. Wow, did you guys know they've got the Facebook? God forbid my husband picks up the landline, my modem drops out. Hello, Jessica speaking. So I'm scrolling and I see a post, 2,400 comments, Ducko. I'm going, cool, what's this conversation?

Okay. Hang on a minute. It's happening in the adult Bluey fans chat. What's blowing up the internet here? Yeah. It is a screenshot of a Bluey Christmas episode, all right? And a guy named Joel, some investigation tells me Joel is an American. Okay.

Now, the screenshot is the Bluey family sitting around the table. They're all there. They're all there having Christmas lunch. What's on their heads, Ducco? Oh, they're the Christmas hats. What do you call them? The crown. The paper crown.

The paper crowns you get out of the bonbons. Out of the bonbons. Joel has written, Hi, can someone please explain to me what the hats they wear in the Christmas swim episode? What are they and what do they signify? Oh, because it's an Australian show and he's an American. Two and a half thousand comments of people going, what?

Yeah. Is this only an Australian thing? I didn't know that. Neither did I. I thought it was all around the world. Now, a couple of UK people have weighed in. Because they would do it. Bluey fans from the UK are in this chat.

They're going, oh, this is a thing here. But a bunch of Americans are saying, I wondered the same thing watching that episode. What the hell are those crowns that the Bluey family are wearing? Wow. So they don't do it over in the States. They don't do it. I get when you hear like shrimp on the barbie and doing super soaker fights and some of the other stuff that are very summer Christmas traditions, that is very much obviously Southern

hemisphere thing. So they hear about us doing that. They go, what do you mean? You go to the beach Christmas morning. that are very summer Christmas traditions, that is very much obviously Southern Hemisphere thing. So they hear about us doing that. They go, what do you mean you go to the beach Christmas morning? We don't actually drink eggnog and sit in the snow. No. We start our day with maybe a dip, maybe a water fight. Then we go inside for our big seafood lunch.

It's tougher for Santa here because the sleigh is designed for snow. Oh, my God. He comes here and he's like, geez. He's red velvet soot. It's hotter. He's not friendly for Southern Hemisphere. He makes it work. He comes here and he's like, geez. He's red velvet soot. It's hotter. He's not friendly for Southern Hemisphere. He makes it work. He makes it work. He makes it work.

And sometimes we'll do Christmas in July, obviously, to lean into the cold part. Yeah, yeah. But there you go, blowing up the adult Bluey fans chat. I didn't know that. Because people didn't know Christmas hats. And then people are trying to talk about the etymology of them. It's got something to do with the three wise men. Of course it does.

Frankincense and myrrh. Exactly. The gifts they brought. Someone commented, hey, Joel, that's a fair question. It's really to signify the Australian culture of bullying. Because if you're the only one in your family who refuses to wear them because you're too cool to wear the crown, you'll get bullied until you put it on. But then you wear it.

Then you wear it and it rips so quickly. Or sometimes it doesn't fit the big, like the uncle's head who's a bit bigger. My husband, you know, big old head. My daughter, big old head. She's never going to be able to wear the party crown without having a big tear in it. Does that mean they don't get the lame jokes in the bonbons? They don't get the, exactly. And you know what people were calling them?

Christmas cracker. I was like, it's a bonbon. It's a bonbon. It's a bonbon. Wow. Well, there you go. There you go. Bluey educating the Americans.

It really is. That show, it's layered. It's layered. It's very. Well, there you go. There you go. Bluey educating the Americans. It really is. That show, it's layered. It's very layered. Jess and Ducko. I need help. Yeah. I need you to explain your species to me. Yeah.

Why are you guys so hard to buy for? Yeah. Why is society set up that there's so much crap you can buy for ladies? Yeah. But when it comes to men. It's hard for men. It's so much crap you can buy for ladies. Yeah. But when it comes to men. It's hard for men. It's so hard. I have spent hours, genuinely hours the past couple of nights,

Stucco, looking for my husband, brother, and father. The three. Dad's always the hardest. Dad's always. Usually your partner, you can have a bit of an intel on what they need or maybe something you want them to have. It's funny you say need and want. Yeah.

Anything my husband needs throughout the year, he buys for himself. bit of an intel on what they need or maybe something you want them to have. It's funny you say need and want. Yeah. Anything my husband needs throughout the year, he buys for himself. He comes home with a new pair of runners. He goes, I needed some new gym shoes. I went, that would have been a great Christmas or birthday gift. Actually, you guys got in trouble from Morgan yesterday about gifts. You three. To do with the pram attachment golf club was.

Oh, no, has she? I mentioned it on air and you said, you don't get that because we've got it for you. Yeah, please leave it. So I said to her yesterday, oh, the guys I think

have got me this house and Morgan's like, what? I've just ordered. Oh, no. So she, no, it's fine. We've unordered it. It's not coming.

So we're taking yours. Good. But she was like, I don't know what else to get you now. And I was like, well, take it out with Jess, Shago and Babs. Well, you know what's funny? But I'm loving everyone's sort of fighting. I mean, it's kind of fun. But she was like, I don't know what else to get you now. And I was like, well, take it out with Jess, Shaga and Babs.

Well, you know what's funny? But I'm loving everyone's sort of fighting. I mean, it's kind of fun. But this is where I'm going to give you a compliment. You're good. You've got hobbies. Yeah. And it's easy to buy for men who have hobbies.

When you Google best presents for him, what sort of stuff comes up, Shaga? It's all like, oh, does he like barbecuing? Buy him the grill set. Does he like camping? Buy him camping gear. A new hammer. Does he like golf? Buy golf gear.

See, golf's an easy hobby because there's so many things that can go with it. But like. Do you know what my husband's hobby is? Fancy freaking wine. That's tough. He bids on wine and he wins it. Does he? Yeah, yeah.

He's fancy, man. Like he's got like a little collection. It's an online or dark web thing going on? Well, not dark web. I think it's just normal web. But he goes on like wine auctions and stuff. Again, he's much more of a wine connoisseur than I am. So why would I I'm probably going to get it wrong. And you're going to get one and he'll say, oh, this

isn't the one I wanted. And you know what? You know what'll happen? We'll probably be bidding against each other in the online forums and driving the price up. So I've spent hours the past couple of nights, dad, brother, and Angus mainly. Brothers are tough. Brothers are tough.

But for Angus, everything, runners, and he said, please don't buy me more clothes. Again, he buys his own clothes. He's not a jewellery man. He's not an aftershave man. You know what his other hobby is? Baths. Buy him a toy for the bath.

Do you know what I bought him last Christmas? The back pillow. And it's so moist and perpetually wet. Is someone hearing new back pillows? It's just disgusting now. Maybe something to hold my iPad up in the bath when I sit in there. I bought him that. I bought him the tray table already.

Maybe buy him something that makes it water-coloured and fun. I don't know. Bath balls? I've got a lush. But this is where I found myself at about 9.30 last night. On a freaking website that you can make t-shirts. Oh, yes. And you put your face all over them.

And I submitted photos of me and Lucia. That's fun. And it says like, my girls. And it's not the cheapest thing in the world. He'll wear that everywhere. And I literally went to hit pay, PayPal. And I thought, he's never going to wear this. And I stopped myself and I went, hey, I'm about to buy you this.

What do you think? He goes, as a joke, don't waste money. You better off getting socks with that because then at least you can hide them. That's what my mum said she's getting him. Oh, see, all the boxes are ticked. It's funny. She called me the other day. She goes, I'm not buying Angus anything.

He doesn't. I haven't told Angus this. She goes, she buys him clothes every year. He doesn't wear them? She goes, he doesn't appreciate I haven't told Angus this. She goes, she buys him clothes every year. He doesn't wear them? She goes, he doesn't appreciate them. And I went, nah. As in like, because he opens them in front of her and she can tell on his face that he's like, oh.

Because she's buying him Rip Curl stuff. That's always, you've got to lie to the in-laws. No disrespect to Rip Curl, but Angus doesn't wear Rip Curl. I don't know where she's buying him Rip Curl. Yeah. She buys my brother Calibur and Angus Rip Curl just because we live near a beach. Don't buy him Rip Curl. No, get him Billabong.

He loves that stuff. I'm sure he'd love a Velcro wallet too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get him three quarter boardies. You're just impossible to buy for. He hasn't entered whiskey territory yet. He's not there yet. It's not too late to get him a set of golf clubs.

I'll take him golfing next year. He's had two back surgeries. I don't know if golf is the right sport for him. You can drive the buggy for me. Maybe I'll get him some of those gloves. What, golf gloves? The golf gloves. Just for a glove for what reason? No, I don't know how to drive the buggy. He likes driving. Get get him some of those gloves. What, golf gloves? The golf gloves. Just for a glove.

For what reason? No, no, to drive the buggy. He likes driving. Get him a driving glove. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. I'm thinking for him, you've got to stay in the bath realm. Okay.

What about a leather toiletry bag? That's actually the fourth best selling item on the list. Toiletry bag? Toiletry bag. Toiletry bag is going to never have to. No, he's got a toiletry bag. He's using the one we got from business class on our trip to. I'm trying to think what presents I've received that have been good.

But yeah, it's, yeah. I mean, you're impossible to buy for. There's only so many links Africa's I can get from my aunties before I go, come on guys. So when I showed him that My Girl's t-shirt, he went, why don't we just make a pact? We won't get each other gifts and we'll do a holiday. And I went, well, no, I want something. Yeah. Yeah.

See, that's what Morgan and I do. There's so much stuff you can get ladies. I'll take another piece of gold jewelry. It's fine. Morgan will always do the same way. She's like, oh, I bought my present. I was like,'s so much stuff you can get, ladies. I'll take another piece of gold jewellery. It's fine. Morgan will always do this thing where she's like, oh, I bought my present. I was like, what present? She's like, my present from you to me.

And she'll just do it straight away, every time. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. So maybe he needs to do that for himself. Yeah, just find something. Just get him a Bunnings voucher or something. Jess and Ducco.

$10,000 would come in handy. But so would a cheeky grand. It is your choice. And like you said earlier, Alpha Bucks choice won't be back straight away at the start of the year. $10,000 will be back. Yep, yep. So those easy kids questions, maybe.

But this is your last couple of opportunities to take that route if you so choose. Yes. Or play with the grown-ups, run with the bulls, $10,000 with the Alpha Bucks. Run with the bulls, hurt them, go. Do whatever you want to do. Whatever you want to do is your choice.

But you've got to call 131060 first. You've got to get through Babs. That's the first stop, yeah. Maybe tell her a little tale. Yep. Don't know how you get through the gatekeeper. Yeah, a lot of people do ask, how do I get on? I'm like, you've got to charm Babs.

Yeah, charm the socks off her. I'll give you the hot tip. Don't tell her you want to do Renaults. No, or a holiday. Something more creative. Yeah, that's boring. That's boring. You've got to give her something spicy. Eh, eh. Don't say bills. We to do renos. No, or a holiday. Something more creative. Yeah, that's boring. That's boring. Give her something spicy.

Don't say bills. We know bills are piling up. Yeah, we get it. We know times are tough. We know that. We get it. We understand that. We get it.

Babs gets that more than anyone. We know the in-laws are coming and you've got to impress them with gifts. Maybe a new deck that you've got to do because the in-laws are coming. Yeah, you've got to hire a sander. Yeah, and get your dad in out of town. Big industrial, and you've got to ship your dad in. Because your in-laws are coming for Christmas because they didn't appropriately get the Airbnb they said they would get

because they left it too late. And now your three dogs are going to be there at your house. Maybe you want to pay for your in-laws to have their own accommodation while they visit for Christmas. Did I tell you? Because you know how they're coming. Obviously, that was just talking about my Christmas. Yeah, that's what you would call up and say you want.

Morgan is so worried about the fight she's going to have with her brother because they're in such a confined space for so long and they're buttheads that her friend, our friend Hannah, who has her apartment who's away, said, I'll give you the keys to my apartment and if you need to get away, you can. I've got a refuge. And I'm like, Morgan, then you're going to leave. And then I'm just like.

Why can't we put the brother up in Hannah's apartment? Oh, that's a good. Well, we wouldn't trust him in there, I don't think. Oh, yeah, okay. He'll go through her stuff. I don't know about that. He's just dirty. I've really painted a bad picture.

Sorry, Samuel. So anyway, there could be – We're just having a laugh. Morgan's going through a refuge and getting out there. She's going to chuff off with Pam. And it's just going to be you holding down the fort. Me and the three dogs and the brother. How long to showing off the deck? How it's just going to be you holding down the fort. Me and the three dogs and the brother. How long to showing off the deck?

How long is that going to consume? That's a couple minutes. He's not going to care. And Ward, my father-in-law, he'll find issues, no doubt, in the deck. Oh, you didn't do that properly. Your freezer's not particularly good. Oh, what are you doing there? Look at his watery eyes.

It's actually worse for me than my wife and she's the one leaving. Oh, my calippo is melting. He would have a calippo too. He would. He really would. Get it out of that paper tube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have so many complaints about it.

Anyway, let's play Alpha Bucks. Yeah, we better. Give us a call. We're playing it. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on it. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all starting with the same letter have to take your first answer

can't use the same answer twice and if you're unsure of the question just say pass we come back of course if there is time stepping up today we have Nathan good morning Nathan

good morning Jess and Ducko Nathan Nathan Nathan, Nathan. Tell us, you are ready to take some money off our hands. I sure am. Oh, he's ready. He's ready. He's well slept. Feels like a good player, Nathan.

Got a good energy about you. I'm a pretty good player. We play every morning, but doing the real thing is a little bit more nerve-wracking. Yeah, that's right. When it's, you know, you're on the podium. You're not in the standsacking. Yeah, that's right. When it's, you know, you're on the podium. You're not in the stands anymore. Yeah, yeah. Nathan, the question is,

are you choosing grown-ups for $10,000 or kids for $1,000? Look, I only need $1,000 for a specific reason, so I'm going to go with the kids one today. Knock it in. Can we ask what the reason is? We need to decorate our house with lights. We moved into a new house about a year ago,

and this is our first Christmas, and we've realised an entire street does a big lighting. Oh, no, you've moved into one of those streets. You've moved into Christmas Street. Oh, Nathan, that's hard. Okay. That's a lot of pressure on you too as dad, and you're there going, I don't want to, okay.

And it's the 4th of December now, Nathan, so did on like the 1st, so over the weekend, did all the lights go on and you went, hang on a minute, we're the only dark house on the street? No, this was probably about a week and a half ago and we've been ringing you guys most mornings trying to get through. Never have I wanted someone to win more. He needs to stand out. That's a great motivation.

But then the worst thing is, Nate, when we give you the cash, you've then actually got to decorate your house, which the admin. I know, I can make it happen, but with your cash, you've then actually got to decorate your house, which the admin. I know. I can make it happen, but with your help, I'm sure we can make the trip better. Well, this is going to be the Christmas house. Okay. If Nathan can get 10 out of 10. Well, it's a solid letter, Nathan.

It's M. M for Merry Christmas. M for money. M for money. All right, Nathan? All right. Okay. All right. He's in game mode. He's switched. Yeah, he's gone. I'm money. All right, Nath? All right. Okay. All right, he's in game mode.

He's switched. Yeah, he's gone. I'm excited. Yeah. Me too. Your time will start after the first question, Nathan. Let's do it. Starting with the letter M, we need you to name a fruit.

Mandarin. A job. Marriage celebrant. Something in the house. Margarine. An animal. Puff. Margarine. An animal. Pass. A cartoon character.

Mickey Mouse. A type of cheese. Pass. A boy's name. Matt. A chocolate. Pass. A colour.

Maroon. A car brand. MG. An animal. Oh, no. We car brand. MJ. An animal. Oh, no. We ran out of time. We ran out of time. I have no doubt we'll come around.

Everything you answered, you got correct. You got yourself seven. That was the fastest. That's all right. I will buy myself some light. Unfortunately, I am off to the light shop. An animal could have been a monkey, a meerkat, a mouse, a top of cheese, a mozzarella, a top of chocolate.

There's a few. Mars bar, M&M, Milky Way. Marvelous creations. Marvelous creations. You don't go away empty-handed, though. $100 spent in my soda gift box. That is all yours. Condolences, though.

I'm sorry we couldn't help you get the Christmas lights. No, that is okay, guys. Appreciate it. I guess I'll have to lights. No, that is okay, guys. Appreciate it. I will guess I'll have to spend $1,000 of my own money. Do the other dads in the street look at you, Nathan, and be like, oh, okay, haven't got yours up yet? Like, do they sort of alpha you a little bit, or has it been okay? No, we're the first house as you turn into the street,

so we've had a few cars going, oh, are they going to do it? Okay. He's setting the tone. He's the first house on the street. All the onlookers come to see the pretty lights and they go, look at that Grinch household. Nathan, once they're up, send us a pic, please. We'd love to revel in your joy. Will do. Thank you.

Thank you, mate. Best of luck with it. Now, we do play Alphabucks again tomorrow, 6.30 and 8. Only four more chances to play for the rest of the year. That's some quick maths. Thank you. Two a day, two days left. Bang, bang, bang. Just carry the one. Yep, four. We got four.

We got four. Jess and Ducco. Right now, 13, 10, 60. What is the unsexiest thing your partner does? Unsexy. I don't think it's red flag territory, but God, you just wish they'd stop. Yeah. I am in a very, very privileged position to use this platform to try and get my husband to change behavior.

Because asking him nicely, even asking him aggressively, is not working behind closed doors. I see. So I bring it to the radio. My husband, oh God, buys Lucia the baby those God awful-awful yogurt pouches. Have you seen those? No, because you're a grown-ass man. The things you suck on. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you can get those, what's the brand? All the brands are doing them now. Chobani. Yeah, Chobani. That's what I'm thinking. 5AM. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Farmer's Union. Yep, they have a bit of protein in them. And I know it is 100% marketing. I need to look at the backs of the ingredients. But there are some that say kids. Yeah. Like they're genuinely advertised for children. It's a suck and go.

It's a suck and go. And it's easy for the little ones because they are in control. It's probably a learning thing as well. Like they can control the flow. Yeah. We buy them for the little one. But if Angus is feeling peckish and doesn't want to, I don't know, make a bowl of cereal, he just walks around the house

with the freaking kids Chobani. Having a little sucking go. Sucking on the pouch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I hate it. Really? Oh, my God. And he has to do the fish lips.

You know, the... Because once it gets to the dregs, you've really got to work hard. And you've really got to squeeze the bottom of it. You've got to... It's like I'm living with two toddlers. I hate it, Ducco. Morgan does that. Morgan gets them for work.

She has them for work, like work on the guys a bit quicker and a good snack or whatever. Oh, my God. It's like having a Prima or like the up and go with the tiny little box and the straw. Yeah, yeah. It's for children. Yeah. Stop walking around the house. They're so fun to get, though. You are a the house. They're so fun to get, though.

You are a business owner. They're so fun to get the yogurt out of. Very successful, well put together young men. You get your tongue in the nozzle and you're like. Oh, I hate it. I hate it so much. I have now said we're not buying these anymore. He's like, no, but Lucia likes them.

But he's just eating them. You might be frisky. Drinking them. You might be frisky. Then you see him drinking them and you're like, I can't. What a boner killer. I hate it so much. Certified BK.

Sucking on those yogurt pouches. Honestly, you don't like yogurt, though, do you? You're not a big yogurt person. I'm not a yogurt fan. Maybe that's part of the issue. Because if you like yogurt, a sucking goes always a good time. No, I don't like it. Yeah, I can see.

Because I'm trying to think, like, what's in the realm? Like, oh, we talked about Calippo earlier. Anything that you've got to hold like that and really work hard, it's really not hot. It doesn't get you going. It doesn't get me going, and I've asked him multiple times, please stop. But you know what he started doing?

He just opens the fridge door to block himself, but I can hear him. I can hear him. Well, I mean, you suck on mayo, so I'd argue both are just as unsexy as each other. He seems to let that one go. Haven't I just come off my high horse? And you know what? What a great husband.

Has never thrown the mayo in my face. Angus, what are you doing? You've got the mayo all over it. He's got great ammunition to shut me down, but he lets me carry on. See? And he's sucking yogurt behind the fridge door. 131060, what unsexy thing does your partner do? Can I nominate myself?

I was going to say, Morgan is a saint. I don't want to hear anything she does, but what do you do? She certainly would do some unsexy stuff, but there's nothing. Oh, maybe I can't say it this time. I won't say that. Sure, we'll do that off air. I am wildly curious. What are you doing?

Well, you know I went through that phase. I did speak about it on the show some months ago where right before we'd be in the throes or just in the throes, I'd like to quote the gingerbread man from Shrek. I don't know why. I had this urge. I was like, no, don't touch me then. Wasn't it trying to take your socks off? That's right.

She's like, can you take your socks off in bed? I was like, you're a monster. And she's like, what is that? And all of a sudden now it's become the thing. Like if it's like we're about to, I'm like, you you take your socks off in bed? And I was like, you're a monster. And she's like, what is that? And all of a sudden now it's become the thing. Like if it's like we're about to, I'm like, you want to do it? Jesus. Perfect. That's exactly what I want.

13, 10, 60. She says it's pregnancy that makes her not keen to go, but I think it's me. I think it's just me. She's like Angus. She's got ammunition to shoot you down. No. Similarly, Angus.

But they don't. God, we've picked well with our partners. The crap they let us get away with. 13, 10, 60. What's that unsexy thing your partner's doing? Use the radio like we have to try and get the message across. Yeah. Stop it.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What's the unsexy thing your partner does? Yeah, maybe you're like me and you've asked and you've begged and you've pleaded. Stop doing that. Hey, Angus, stop using those disgusting yogurt pouches we buy for the baby. Sucking on them and making the fish face and trying to get every last dreg of that blueberry yogurt.

And then he'll say, stop sucking on the mayo. Which he's never. Yeah, brought up. God, I must be a horrible person to live with. What? So I'm using the radio. Yeah, to vent. To vent.

Is he listening? Did he message you? He hasn't actually. That means he's listening and he's going, case in point, Mayo. But we're in a group chat together and we're talking about a business that's much. He's messaged me. Has he? What did he say?

He said, heaven forbid I have anything but pasta. Did he actually? Yeah. Was that just gear from Shy Guy? No, I started it. I didn't know you and Angus had a message relationship. Yeah, not that I did. We do sometimes.

Or on Instagram. No, no text. Anyway, it's great gear. It's unsexy. Jethro messaged me, Babs' boyfriend. What did he say? I'm just sick of her quoting, Love ya.

in bed. That didn't happen. Oh, no, Jethro, I messaged. Stop calling him Guzman. It's not sexy. Except Gomez, but not Guzman. Hey, Jess, another Jess on 131060. Hello, Jess.

Good morning. Hi, guys. How are you going? Yeah, good. Can you shame your partner on the radio? What's the unsexy thing they're doing? Yeah, look, I find my partner very attractive 99% of the time. And unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to be backing you

up here, Jess, but my husband has a very impressive beard. And every time he eats soft food such as yogurt, it like dribbles down the front and gets caught in his beard. And he waits until he's finished to wipe himself up because, you know, there's only going to be more. And you've actually inspired me to go out and get some yoga powder. It's actually going to help the sexiness. Oh, to eliminate the dribbling. Yeah, the beard dribble. Oh, no.

Yeah, it would be gross actually seeing all the food in the big beard. And I get it. And I don't understand. Oh, no. Yeah, it would be gross actually seeing all the food in the big beard. I get it. And I don't understand. He still has, like, a mouth like everyone else. I mean, when we eat yogurt, we're not slopping it down the front. I don't understand. What's happening, getting that spoon to mouth, it's ending up half in the beard.

That is funny. But you have said that before, haven't you, Ducky? You're like, I'll wait till the end of a meal. Why am I going to consistently do it? I'm a messy eater because I generally just have said that before, haven't you, Ducker? You're like, I'll wait till the end of a meal to wipe it because I'm going to consistently do it. I'm a messy eater because I generally just have fine dexterity issues. And I'll have food around my mouth all the time. People are like, I get food around my mouth. Well, I'm not finished.

I'm not finished. I'm still enjoying these ribs. I'll wipe once. Chicken wings? I will not clean during chicken wings. Jess, call us next week at We're Not On Air. Call us next year after a couple months. Yeah, Jess, we'll follow up. We'll follow up. Jen 13, hey?

After a couple months of him sucking on a yoga pouch, you tell me which is worse, okay? Because it's not good. We'll just send a photo to the Instagram. Kurt from 131060, what's the other sexy thing your partner does, Kurt? The wife, she absolutely loves olives, eating olives out of the jar. Then she drinks the juice out of the jar. Oh no, that's rape!

Yuck! And I hope she's not listening because I'll probably get shot to this. Green olives, Kurt? Like a caramelised balsamic calamata? What sort of olives are we talking about? Are you just saying things? Honestly, I think it's the one with the stuffed olives with the vinegar in it.

Yeah, the stuff in the middle. Yeah, with that capsicum in the middle. Yeah, there's like the red ones in the middle. As someone who drinks balsamic vinegar as well, I'm not going to judge Kurt. You can't judge anyone. I get a spoon. Kurt, that's gross. I don't waste salad dressing.

I can imagine her and Kurt scheduling in sexy time. She's like, I'm just like, come here and give me a kiss. Don't they say you should drink pickle juice to avoid cramps? Yeah. Olive juice would be the same. I don't think so. Salty. Definitely don't drink mayo.

That won't get you anything but a sore gut. We go to Sue on 131060. Good morning, Sue. Unsexy thing your partner does. Oh, he sends me selfies of himself in the toilet doing a poo. He's a minor and he surfaces at the same time every day. And so usually at 4 o'clock my phone goes ping. It's a bit of a just letting you know I'm safe, good day.

But when my phone goes ping at 2.30 and I know he got out early, I know what's coming next. And it's the selfie with his little miner's hat on and his little cheeky smile and going, I'm in the office hiding. And I'm like, oh, I'm so bad. That is so funny. He's so committed to this. Is it like a top angle selfie so you can see everything, pants around the ankles?

Yeah, yeah. Did I hurt you? Yeah, he's so committed to the good ones when they're like with the muscles out and stuff, but I just can't do the toilet one. It's so not sexy. It's all right. That's fantastic. That's so funny.

That is so good. Thank you, Sue. And let's wrap up with Nikki. Hello, Nikki. Hi, how are you? Yeah, we're so good. We're talking the unsexy thing your partner does. Yeah, there was a few.

It was a toss-up between licking his fingers, like, after every meal really loudly. But the grossest thing he actually does, and, you know, if he's eaten, I apologize to anybody, he cuts his toenails with, like, metal clippers because normal clippers aren't strong enough. And then they go on the floor, and then he scoops them up and puts them in his mouth. No, no, no, no. And pulverizes them until there's white kind of like gel all over his tongue. And honestly, I've been putting up with this for like 16 years. It is vile.

Immediately nauseous. It has to be, like, I'm going to be thinking about it. How does he do that? And he chews them up to get them soft. He chews them up and I go, why do you do it? And he goes, it builds good immune system. And I'm like, no, you're just disgusting. Nikki, Nikki, so did you say this is your husband?

Yeah. At what point in the relationship did you find this information out? I knew it from the start, but honey, he's rich. Jess and Ducco. Obviously, renovating. Dad and I have the beautiful job. He's flown in from Queensland. We're sanding the deck, stripping it back.

It's a pretty big deck. And then we're repainting it. Just in time for the in-laws to enjoy your home for Christmas. You and Morgan hosting. Dad won't even be there for Christmas to enjoy it. He's just doing the hard work and getting out of here, you know? It's just unreal. He's made the time.

Yep. Given up his, you know, the next few days. Yep. What would be a busy time in his own life just to help his boy out. He joins us now as we cross live to the scene. Good morning, Chris Allen. Good morning, Dad. Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Hi, guys. How are you? Are you got a rogue sander there or something, Chris? What's going on? A rogue sander, yes. You've got to switch it off. Got to life it their own. Yeah, they do. It was meant to? A rogue sander, yes. You've got to switch it off. Got to life on their own. It was meant to be just a sander.

I was meant to just come, have a beer with my boy. Next minute, I had my shirt off, sending his dad. He left me for hours. When Sweet Ducko gave you a buzz, Chris, and said I've got this big job to do, did he say, hey dad, can you come

and help me? Or was this an offer from dad thinking, I can spend some quality time with do. Did he say, hey, Dad, can you come and help me? Or was this an offer from Dad thinking, ah, I can spend some quality time with my boy here? Well, no, he actually asked me and I thought, yeah, this was a good time to spend some quality time. You know, here I am, you know, crack of dawn doing all the work and he's sitting in a radio studio. Dad's like, are you off work then? I was like, oh, no, I'll still be working.

So I'll see you at 10 a.m. Yeah, yeah. When I said, what's your dad doing now? Like, oh, is he going to go out for breaking or something? Dad goes, no, he should already have started the painting. Yeah, where are we up to, Dad? Are you finishing the sanding or what are we doing? Well, look, I have to confess, Pam and I have just come back from Merriweather Beach.

It was pretty nice down there today. So, you know, she said, no, no, we have to see the water. Come on. Of course. He needs a piccolo to start his day and we're ready to the water. Come on. Of course. A little lady needs to be taken out. He needs a piccolo to start his day and we're ready to get that. He did send me photos of Pam getting banana bread. So, yeah, it's actually lovely.

So what I'm hearing is the work has not commenced for Wednesday. Wednesday on the drop side. No, look, I did run home and I've got it going. So, yeah. Okay, good. We're done with the sanding. Okay, good. Because when Dad arrived yesterday, obviously, Dad and I, our bonding was going to movies and buying good clothes. Dad rolls

in in his good chinos and a nice knit button up and I thought, we're going to be the best looking tradies on site, you know? For a big day on the tour, a big few days on the tours, big concern you didn't bring appropriate work wear. But then I saw the vision and I saw little tradie shorts. Yep, we're on. The face masks. And then I told Dad something which he didn't know we were doing. Neither did I because good rice cooker, friend of the show, Pete, messaged and he said, mate, make sure you get a nail punch. And I said, what the hell's that? What's a nail punch?

You punch the nail. I've heard of a hole punch, not a nail punch. Tradies will be listening going, oh, my God. But you basically hammer the nail punch into the nail to put it further in the deck so when you sand it, the sanding paper doesn't get ripped. And we had an industrial sander. Oh, if there's any sort of, if it's protruding at all. The thing about my deck is we had maybe hundreds and hundreds of nails protruding, didn't we,

Dad? We did, yeah, literally hundreds. It was back-breaking. It was. Look, it's a decent-sized deck. But were there, how many nails go in a deck? Oh, yeah, we spent hours hammering all these nails in, just going crazy. Just lucky Pete had messaged you, though.

Oh, I was very grateful for Pete. And then other people, Russ Cookers, when they saw my story, were giving me advice on the sanding, like, go on an angle, do it this way. Were they asking why you needed to be shirtless? I haven't posted that story yet. Do you reckon I should, though? I think you should. It's looking all right.

But, no, Dad was there. I felt sorry for Dad because then he's on his knees, a bit older than I am. You know, we had to get a towel, didn't we, Dad? I was worried about the knees and the back. Oh, God, yes, you've got the old granny thing, you know, than I am. You know, we had to get a towel, didn't we, Dad? I was worried about the knees and the back. Oh, God, yes. You've got the old granny thing, you know, where you have to kneel down when you're doing the gardening. Oh, yes, yes.

It's nicer for the joints. Yes. But so, Dad, you've started. We're underway. We've got all the sanding pretty much done. Okay, so now painting. What a monotonous, boring job. Yeah.

And do you reckon we'll need two coats, Dad? Look, I do. I do think it's going to need two coats. I actually quite like the painting, Jess. That's the easy part. Do you? Oh, did you find it like mindful, Chris? We just sort of get into the zone. Very relaxing. You know, it certainly beats chasing baddies down the street. Oh, well, that's right. In your current affair days, trying to chase the crooked whoever's. It's certainly a change of pace. And Dad and I will just be doing it together, listening to some tunes. Is painting music, Dad?

Well, I think we... Weren't we listening to Rufus? Yeah, we did. Oh, of course. You made your dad listen to Rufus. I put on a two-hour Rufus mix live at Coachella. Dad's trying to connect, talk to you. How's things going? Tell me your hopes and your dreams.

Dad, this is great. Listen to the chorus. Well, Dad, you get on the tools. I'll be home. Shago, didn't you say we have a really late... Yeah, break time's over, Chris. We've got a late finish today. We've got a lot to do.

A lot to do, Dad. Hopefully, I'll be home before 11. Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. Hop to it. Hop to it. Jess and Ducko.

Call the fin. Call the fin. Call the fin. With the practice. That's right. These are people we haven't stopped thinking about. We love, love, love and appreciate the contributions. But for today's, we go all the way back to... Jan 24. Wow, January.

Was that our first week? First or second week. Must have been second week, yeah. Holy moly. That's how much we have thought about Callum. He has stood out in our brains. We asked in those early days, after some sort of research survey had been done, about men, majority of men thinking,

in an emergency, I could step up and land a commercial aeroplane. I could land a plane. I could land a plane. We got my cousin on who was a pilot. That's right. And he's like, no, you idiots, you couldn't do it. There is no way. But we asked, hey, dudes.

Dudes. Do you reckon you could do it? Yeah, land a plane. Callum gave us this. Let's go to Callum on 131060. Callum, you're a dude. I am a dude. Hang on.

Are you a pilot? I am not a pilot. I'm a plumber. You're a plumber. I a dude. Hang on. Are you a pilot? I'm not a pilot. I'm a plumber. You're a plumber. I love this. So he's good with his hands. He's got some technical knowledge, but not in the airspace. Do you think in an emergency you could land a plane?

You guys prefaced a large commercial airliner. If it's carrying passengers, more than likely. So the jeopardy has gone higher. Callum's going, yeah. The more pressure, the better for Cal. What makes you think you can do it, Cal? So a larger plane like that's going to be what they call a glass cockpit. So it's going to be computerised.

So I'm going to have to adjust flight controls, which are just knobs. And it's going to fly itself to my runway. No, let him go. Yes. And as long as it's a clear day without a crosswind, it'll be easy enough to put it down. They can land themselves. He knows some of the lingo.

He does know. Have you got a pilot in your life, Callum? How do you know all this stuff? So my ex-partner was a pilot. Yep. And so he had a complete flight sim. There you go. It's a flight sim.

Oh, so Callum. No, I asked for non-pilot. You've had a go at this. No, but he's not. He's only a pilot. Literally, my experience has literally been me talking smack and him being like, have a go. And we just love the bravado.

How's the lingo? We love the confidence. Oh, man. He came into it hot and heavy. Callum is the kind of guy, that whole thing about you walk anywhere with confidence, no one's going to stop you. Yeah. You walk through the doors of a festival wearing high-vis

and holding a ladder, people go, oh, they're meant to be here. Yeah. You walk through the doors of a festival wearing high-vis and holding a ladder, people go, oh, they're meant to be here. Let them through backstage. Let them go. That is Callum to a T. So good. The confidence. And we salute you.

From all the way back in Jan. Captain Callum, we salute you. Captain Callum, thank you for joining the show. We've laughed about you ever since. Hey, look, we've gone past nine. We're about done here. But if you missed any, grab it on Listener or wherever you get your podcasts. Great show today.

Unbelievable. That first hour, I think, maybe was the best six o'clock hour we could have ever done, possibly. A little behind the scenes for the rice cookers. Sometimes we like to pull the vision from the studio, chuck it up on the story, a bit of fun from today, push to the podcast. Every video that Shy Guy sent, I went, nah, that's got to go on the grid. Nah, that's got to go on the grid. Nah, that's got to go on the grid. Too many. That can't disappear for 24 hours.

In 24 hours, that'll live permanently. There's some good stuff up there. That's how much fun we have. Great contributions as well from all the cookers. Thank you to the cookers. Two more shows left, team. We're on the back end now. Holy moly.

We're over the hump. We're over the crest. We're definitely over the hump. And a great Thursday show because tomorrow we have Wordyoke. Will Wordyoke? We've been saying it all week. Will Wordyoke be back next year? I think it might be, but let's see.

Let's see how tomorrow goes. Babs is Quizmaster. Us three play. Shy Guy, Jess and myself. That's right. We gave away, what did we end up giving away? $1,500. $1,500 for Shy Guy Dips.

Maybe it was a thousand. Either way. Yeah, so Shy Guy Dips. Yeah, well Amanda's happy regardless. She was stoked with the Fox biscuit. More money up for grabs tomorrow with Alpha Bucks Choice, of course. $6.30 and eight. Oh, my God.

Worldy Oaky. Second last show of the year. Vibes are high. It'll be loose. Absolutely. Here an update on... I might not be in if I break my back. Me and Dad just working so hard on the tools.

I better get it. I've got to get on the job site, girls. I don't know if you've had a sick day all year. You can't do it the second last show. That's funny. I haven't had one all year had a sick day all year. You can't do it the second last show. You know what's funny? I haven't had one all year. I've been telling Morgan, and my whole thing was I was going to do it on the last show of the year, just pretend to not show up.

Then I was like, that's just going to really be hard for you guys. It is, and also you'll miss out on fun. I'll be the only one laughing about it too. So I'm not doing that. What do you mean pretend not to show up? Well, I just wasn't in the show for the first hour, and then I was going to come in. But then I was like, oh, they might just not do the show. Yeah, yeah.

And then my boss was like, no, you're not doing that. Yeah, nah. It's just a whole thing. Good perspective for you. Thanks so much. Who's laughing at that? But yeah, this is the first year, touch wood, I've never had a sick day in my life. This is the first year ever in any job I've ever had.

Good on you. It's wild, isn't it? I'm going to take that as a compliment. Yeah. You bloody enjoyed it so much. I've just been having too much fun with my friends. Too much fun. Shaga's had about 45 sick days.

Absolutely. Had three. That's more than all of us combined. Yes, she's had two. No, Shaga's had more bad. Shaga's had more than three. You've had more than that. A hundred percent.

Yeah. Oh, no, I think it's like five. I reckon it was like five or six. Yeah, I think so. Don't you throw stones, miss. I've got to go on a cruise in the middle of survey. I didn't have a sick day, though. She's got us on a deck, the galley.

She does have us there. Have you had a sick day? You've had a sick day. No. Your guts or something. I don't have a sick day, though. She's got us on a deck, the galley. She does have us there. Have you had a sick day? You've had a sick day. No. Yeah, Gads or something. I don't think she has. No, she pushed through. I pushed through.

Yeah, right. You are. You just stand a cut above your generation. They're all quiet, quitting, and, oh, this doesn't give me joy. There's Babs, sitting her through her IBS, just showing up every single day. Her bread was moldy, so she had to have other bread. She said, well, I'm going to pay for that later. Not me bread. Unless it's a swingers cruise going to pay for that later. Not me bread.

Unless it's a swingers cruise with her family. I'll take two weeks off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a swingers day. That's a swingers day. We've all got swinger leave. That's in the drop down. That's in the drop down.

You've got to really look to find it. In the employee portal. Only a few employees know where it is. What's that special code? We're out of here. We're back on tomorrow. We'll see you then. Bye-bye.

Bye. I knew it from the start, but honey, he's rich. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Gather your little helpers, because the Elf on the Shelf Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's.