Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Clip clop clip clop

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

What lame animal got the better of you? Ducko gives us an update on the deck renos and we play Wordie-okie for the final time this year!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gather your little helpers, because the Elf on the Shelf Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco Podcast. Welcome to the podcast, everybody. Hey! Ah, great show as always. Been a great, been one of our best weeks, I think, of the year. Couldn't agree more. If we could channel this energy every shot. I know, do we have to just sort of come in and have a calendar set to end of the year?

Trick our brains. It's such a beautiful time of year. It is. It is. And even, even, you know who I've noticed is really getting sassy? Bab year. Trick our brains. It's such a beautiful time of year. It is. It is. And even you know who I've noticed is really getting sassy? Babs. 100%. We've ruined her. Yeah, she's destroyed. As I've said, I've made this comparison before. We have done to Babs what America did

to Bieber. Yep. He left Canada a sweet, polite young person and America chewed him up and spat him out. Yeah. That's what we've done to Babs. Chewed her up. Am I not nice anymore? Well,

sassy means. Sassy. You and Shy Guy going out, it's one of my favourite things. I know. I love when the kids fight on air. It's wonderful. Yeah, it's good times.

Particularly, we've given Babs a bit more power in Quizmaster. She runs some games and doesn't Shy Guy cop it. I still always try and In the best way possible. Yeah.

I still always try and think of what our dynamic, our family dynamic is, right? Like if Jess and I are siblings the best way possible. I still always try and think of what our family dynamic is. If Jess and I are siblings, I'm like, well, Shy Guy and Babs are our cousins? Or are they younger siblings? Yeah, they step. Or we're a blended family. Oh, they step. Oh, they step.

We've got the same mum, because our mums are very similar. Yeah, yeah. And our mum married their dad. Yeah, that's what it is. So you two are siblings too. And our mum married their dad. Yes. That's what it is. So you two are siblings too. But they've got that weird Greg and Marsha. Not Greg.

What was the oldest son? Was it Greg Brady? In the Brady Bunch. Yeah, what was the oldest boy? I think it was Greg. Greg and Marsha. You know how the actors kept flirting? And they were like, the sexual energy between the siblings on screen is coming through.

Stop it. That's a Pepsi joke. What does that even it. That's Babs and Jogs. What does that even mean? You're Marsha. Jogs doesn't say anything? I don't get it. Yeah, I don't really get it either. Just trying to make things uncomfortable.

Success. You don't know Brady Bunch? Brady Bunch? No. It was a story of a lovely lady. Is that Brady Bunch? Yeah, it is. Greg.

To be fair, why would you know the Brady Bunch? It's a very old. It's such a pop culture. Yeah, it's pop culture. I don't know. It was going though, youunch? Yeah, it is. Yeah, Greg. To be fair, why would you know the Brady Bunch? It's a very old. It's such a pop culture. Yeah, it's pop culture. It was going though, you know? Yeah. All right. Wow.

Wow. Thank you, McConaughey. No, it's Owen Wilson. Yeah, I was going to say. Thank you, Wilson. But no, great show nonetheless, team. So good. A lot of fun.

I've got to tell you, I was not expecting, I'm never expecting, but to hear a story about being kicked in the chest by an ostrich, or kicked in the back, I think he was. Yeah. Unbelievable. Fantastic. You'd never think you'd get a contribution like that. No.

Some of the things people share with us. Oh, absolutely. Some of the calls Babs is fielding out there. I know. What doesn't she put to air? Jess and Ducko, what happened to your nuts? Okay, I'll put you right through. What's that?

One fell on the floor. You were chasing an old lady around. Do you tell your friends what we do on the show? They're like, what the fuck? Yeah, well, my mum asked me yesterday. She's like, oh, tell my sister's boyfriend's parents what you did at work today. It's the most Maitland thing I've ever heard in my life. My sister's boyfriend's parents. At the formal. Yeah heard in my life. Sisters, boyfriends, parents.

At the formal. Yeah. And we're like, oh, that's nice. I was like, oh, we talked to a guy about his black ball sack literally, like, breaking. And then his, like, testicle came out. And what did they say? They're like, ha ha ha. Oh, they enjoyed it?

Yeah. They were like, this is weird. Some people do get shocked when I tell them a story. They go, what the fuck? No, I mean, it's pretty, yeah, pretty accepted. One of my mates messaged me after we posted the video yesterday. We had the chat in yesterday's show you'll hear. We were talking about Jess having sex on the good guy's washing machine.

Yeah. And he said, this could have been your most crook gear yet. I was waiting for comments of like, are you guys on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. Or like, are you doing a podcast? I just don't think many people saw it. Like, they just didn't, they didn't take it all in because it was. Give us 48 hours.

It was R-rated. Yeah. It was on the show. It was on 610. God, we forget. And then, like, you were going to tell us 48 hours. It was R-rated. Yeah. It was on the show. It was at 6.10. Oh, we forget. And then, like, you were going to tell us a story about birds. Oh, yeah. And we just never got to it.

No, we did the break after, remember? Then we all gave our bird impressions. Yeah, yeah. And Shaga, give us your bird again. Pigeon. Ooh. God, it's gotten worse. That's gotten worse.

Your pigeon has gotten rabies. Over professional development, you're going to work more on those pump-up speeches because there's something in that. That's what we should have done. We should all go and give each other two things we need to work on for the holiday period. I know we're currently chock-a-block, but I reckon we find a space for that. Do we have any room in the show tomorrow for anything? No.

Okay. No, we don't. I know, and we've got to get Babs's year in review. Oh, yeah, you can do that. Top three points. What does that mean? Yeah. No, you can look back on your three favourite ones of the year.

What does it mean, year in review? Like, as in, I don't have to video or... No, you just come on air and you just go... Oh, okay. These are what I enjoy the most. I don't have to say anything. It's radio, darling. I don't have to say something.

Film. You don't have to be filmed. Yeah. Okay. Or do an audio package. Shut up. See, Greg and Marsha, now they're going to go kiss. All right.

Cut. Cut. Enjoy the show. Welcome to Thursday, gang. Welcome. It's the 5th of December. What does that mean? Easy maths.

20 days till Christmas. Wow. Wow, the 5th of December. What does that mean? Easy maths. 20 days till Christmas. Wow. Wowza. But 21? What? When's Christmas? 25th? 25th. Today's the 5th. Oh, today's the 5th. Sorry, I thought today was the 4th. No, today's the 5th. Oh, jeez. Oh my goodness. You got the power of now, Duck.

Don't do numbers at 6 o'clock in the morning. That's an easy maths, though, and I like to lean into the easy sums. Yeah. For some reason I thought it was the 4. This is why I didn't do this yesterday because that's harder maths. Mate, I'm out of it to be honest. I've been painting for hours.

Mate, Ducco's been in the sun on his hands and knees. Got a bit burnt yesterday too. With his dad. I can see a rosy glow. Yeah. I put sunscreen all over my back but then I'd missed a part of my own back and Dad had already started painting and I've got this like burnt angel wings like down my back. Oh, we can't be doing that.

I know. Oh, come on. Slip, slop, slap. All over that bod. I know. Painting is tough. Painters should do that Monday to Friday every day. My goodness.

Mate, I went to dinner and people were talking about your deck and your lack of a long roller. Yeah, long roller. I got a lot of messages. A lot of chat around the long roller. Us Alan Duckett men are built tough, mate. We don't long roll. We are on our hands and knees. We just break our backs. You know what your issue is?

I will not purchase anything that is long or tall. We are smaller, compact men. I don't get anything that helps advantage height. So we will support for smaller, compact tools out there. That's what we do. Like short rollers. Hand rollers. That's what we do. To do your giant deck.

Yeah, I know. A long roller would have been so good. You know what's annoying me is Bunnings. We went to them like, we're painting a deck. What do we need to do? What do we need to get? They sort of gave us paint that probably wasn't the best they could have given us. Yeah, what we've learned.

You're just telling me off air. They gave you outdoor paint. Yes, the deck's outdoor. And it'll be fine. But there's deck paint. Yeah, they didn't tell us that. And they could have given us. Yeah, what we've learned, you're just telling me off air. They gave you outdoor paint. Yes, the deck's outdoor. And it'll be fine. But there's deck paint. Yeah, they didn't tell us that. And they didn't give us long rollers. What I'm hearing is Bunnings, you know.

Be better. Maybe they're not fans of J&D. Well, do they actually know what they're talking about all the time? Hang on a minute. I'm off to Mitre 10. Bye. Hang on. But maybe, were you in the garden centre?

Were you talking to someone whose expertise was basalt? Or into the painting area. Well, I mean, that's all you could have done. That's all I could have done, right? I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. What's happened there? How did I know long rollers existed? Maybe they were snagless and they were, you know,

on the cusp of their lunch break. Yeah. The amount of people who've replied to my Instagram, though, because you can follow all of my stories and they're just like, long rollers, get your long rollers. I know, your poor dad. I know. As we said, it's not like he's geriatric.

The guy's fit, he takes care of himself. But anyone over the age of, I'm going to even say 30, to be on your hands and knees for that long. I woke up and I was like. Hunched back. And you know, you're half his age. I got the massage gun into his back last night. Yeah, that was nice.

And what's our recovery today? We're doing ice baths. Are we doing massage? We had a bottle of wine and a massage gun last night. Oh, I was nice. And what's our recovery today? We're doing ice baths. Are we doing massage? We had a bottle of wine and a massage gun last night. Oh, I love that. A bit of dehydration. Yep. Maybe a little foot spa.

Today, hopefully, he's done the second coat. By the time you get home. We've done, no, we've done majority of the second coat. The hardest parts are done. As you were leaving, be honest, how much noise were you making? So you woke him up. Yeah, yeah, get done. Might as well get a start on it.

Well, no, because it's raining this morning here. Like, just a little bit. I think it's going to clear. But he can't do anything in the rain. I have a feeling he's going to be like, well, looks like you're in the second coat. Bye. Got to go. He's like, oh, I've got to get to the airport early. What do you mean?

This is a domestic flight. Nah, nah, nah. Got to get there right now. It looks like it's going to be a busy day. Better get there a few hours earlier. Should we go play golf? Then we'll go straight to the airport? What?

That's not a bad idea. Yeah, not a bad shout. I'm going to lure you off. But no, it was a fun day bonding, though. That is nice. It was a long day in the sun, though. Eight hours in the sun doing it. I mean, you know, did a brekkie show and then came out and did me a tradie shift.

With your tiny, tiny rollers. Ah, just so simple. Such a simple fix that... There is really... If something is difficult, you need to stop down and go, is there a device that makes this easier? Because nine times out of ten, yes. I should go to Bunningston and get one, but, I mean, we've got one coat left.

We're nearly there. Now you go, I'm in it now. I've come this far. Yeah, us boys, we're tough. The old dark men are tough, you know. We're tough. Go with your tiny roller and say, I didn't know, give me an extender pole. Give me something.

Give me something that makes us longer. You know what you should go? Just go buy a broom and tape it to the end. Might be cheaper. By the time I've done all that, I probably should have just gone to Bunnings and got a long roller. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Maybe I will do that. Anyway, thanks for all the messages. You know who's long? Shy Guy. Oh, I could use you as a roller. Why don't we tape the roller to the end of Shy Guy? I'll hold your feet. Me and Dad can hold your feet.

And he'll do like the wheelbarrow. And we'll just, yeah, we'll just wheelbarrow and you'll just be like. Salon, sofa. Every time. He could have two small rollers in each hand. Yeah. The Alan Duck of Men on each leg. And you roll him like a roller.

And you could sing that. Would you like that? There's a lot going on for me to do. I was thinking yesterday you haven't come over and offered to help me and Dad paint the deck yet. No, I'd be no good. What do you mean? You'd be morale. I was thinking yesterday you haven't come over and offered to help me and Dad paint the deck yet, so. I'd be no good. What do you mean? You'd be morale. I thought you were doing that.

Yeah, I'm, I put two, I thought your Dad was doing all the work, you were the morale. I'll get into it later in the show.

There was one song that I put on yesterday that got me and Dad going. Oh, really? Going. Oh,

And it wasn't Sandstorm. You kicked up, you kicked up a notch. Yeah, yeah, and I, you know, Sean,

I need you there. Maybe you could play DJ. I could be the DJ. Yeah, right. Hey, yeah, yeah. And, you know, Sean, I need you there. Maybe you could play DJ. I could be the DJ. Yeah, right. Hey, man, come over today. Plenty of time left in the day. How are you going, though? Wonderful, thank you.

Had a Women in Business Network at lunch yesterday. That was wonderful. Yes, looks good. It was wonderful. And then had a fabulous dinner with some of our best couple mates. I saw that. And it was a real kindred spirit moment with one of the men at the table because we're both the same sort of orderer, Ducko.

You like food. And that is a no-holds-barred kind of orderer. Go nuts. The waitress even stopped down and said, you two, because he's a regular at this place, you two have very similar ordering styles. I was like, this and this and this. We're this close, Ducko.

Does he make sounds when he eats as well? 100%. You know what? Couldn't even tell you. I was so in the and this and this. We're this close, Ducco. Does he make sounds when he eats as well? 100%. You know what? Couldn't even tell you. I was so in the zone for my own plate. What was I going to tell you? We're very close to this restaurant. Yes.

You're a fan, I know, as well. To literally saying, one of everything, please. Oh, wow. With the right group, and this might be the group, one of everything, please. Wow, goodness me. That kind of place. And the bill comes and you just escape. Oh, and then that's not my problem.

Bye-bye. That's an Angus problem. How much was this? What? You wanted what? Who got 15 French martinis, Kate? So how are we feeling today? Are we firing for a Thursday?

I feel fantastic. Okay, good. Whether I show up to PT later is another problem. I mean, the years are almost done. That's a 10.30am problem. Are you going to get fit in 20 days before Santa comes? I highly doubt it. You know? Yeah. See ya. Yeah, fine. Oh, that's been my hardest done. That's a 10.30am problem. Are you only going to get fit in 20 days before Santa comes? I highly doubt it. You know?

See ya. That's been my hardest thing is doing the deck the last couple of days. I've been exercising, but I can't go to the gym. No. That's counting as your workout. I've been sore, though, so. Your Apple Watch and Fitbit must be just going bonkers. They've been going nuts, yeah.

Burning calories. But what are you doing? It looks like you're doing an elliptical workout. I'm not. It's all in your traps. Yeah, it's all in the traps. The rest of your body's going, what about us? But we need to fire up because we've got a big show today. It's our last Thursday show. It's our second last show of the year. That's right. When that alarm went off this morning, it was my

first thought. Sayonara, sucker. Yeah. Only one more of you after this. One to go, guys. Alpha Bucks choice, 10K or 1K, 6.30 and 8. We have Wordy Oki on the show after 7.30. We get to go head to head against Shy Guy plus Call of Fame. $1,000 cash. Absolutely. But you'd be seeing it all over your socials. It's even on the Today Show this morning. Spotify has released their Wrapped for the year.

Yes. I've got to tell you, Ducko, mine looks very, very different to last year. A bit different? Ooh, I'm sure you can guess why. Mine looks the exact same. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. You would be seeing it everywhere.

December always marks for Spotify, for The Wrapped, which is basically a look back at your year musically, and they give you some insights. It's actually quite interesting, and every year this comes around, and my friends share this on their Instagrams. I always go, who freaking cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then you do it to you and you go, well, that's interesting. Look what I like. Oh, my God. Everyone wants to know. For me, the biggest takeout, Ducko, is mainly how different, how different my audio consumption has been in 2024 just compared to 2023. Lots of kids' music. It's all kids' music.

But what really got me, you've done it as well. So, you know, did you have the thing where it went through January was your so-and-so moment. July was your so-and-so phase. How's this for my July phase? July was your coastal grandmother acoustic rock oldies phase. What's this for my July phase? July was your coastal grandmother acoustic rock oldies phase. What is that? Is that a genre now? Are we trying to make that a thing?

Last year, I was big. I'd seen a couple of musicals, so it was all Tina Turner and Book of Mormon and Hamilton and Wicked Soundtracks. Now I'm coastal grandmother acoustic rock oldies phase. Well, that fits.

And you know what that is? Gorman. The only thing I can credit that to is all the lullabies and slow songs. Yeah, all the wiggles. All the wiggles. Yeah. Coastal Grandmother. And when I look at what my number one played song is,

you know, 2,000 or so minutes, it's this. That was on Lucia's Sleep Time playlist. Somewhere Over the Rainbow. By that big Hawaiian dude. Yeah, Israel. And I know I'm going to butcher his surname. Kamakawioli.

Nailed it. Thank you. Valet. You told me he passed away. He passed a couple of years ago. This is one of the most beautiful covers of any song ever. And I remember we made this playlist to try and make Lucia sleep better through the night. Did it work?

It worked for a point, till a point. And then we got the sleep consultant who said white noise. Ah. So next year, I know my Spotify rap. It'll be white noise. It'll be white noise. It'll be white noise and wiggles. It'll be, you've had 10,000 hours of white noise and wiggles. Are you okay?

And the hoolie doolies um so that was that was an interesting beautiful the pierce brothers were up there number one aussie sort of artist i love the pierce brothers but wow that's very different to 2023 that's yeah that's very much changed for you yeah mine my number one artist no surprises no surprises you're uh i was in the top 0.001% of listeners globally. 0.01? Yeah, yeah. You're true blue, Ducco. Yeah.

Listeners globally, I'd listen to it for 5,922 minutes or something like that. Wow. That's more than I listen to Israel Kamakawioli. There you go. Wow. I had Rufus in there. Plus, mine was like Glass Animals, Fred again. All the people I saw this year, Xavier Rudd's in there.

Oh. All the people I saw this year, Xavier Rudd's in there. Oh. Are you the kind of person, if you have the concert, on the way to the concert or on the way back from the concert? Usually both, to be honest. So Xavier was in there, Fred was in there. Shock horror, Coldplay is not in my top, even though I did see them this year. Yeah, Glass Animals are in there.

Bit of Taylor's in there because we went to her concert, you know what I mean? But only like one song. You had to amp it up. You had to amp it up. You had to amp it up. Yep. Jocko, what do you got? Top song for me was Rush by Troye Sivan.

Is this hit? Hello? Yeah. All of mine is hit. You could just put this on the hit Instagram and say this was the hit rap. You're the hit rapper. Yeah, yeah. Dua Lipa was my top artist.

Top genre was pop. 16,000 minutes to listen to music. Oh, there you go. There you go. You're in the right job. Yeah. You're doing what you love. Don't you reckon?

You're doing what you love. I get in the car and I put the same stuff on that I do in the office. You're like, I'm going to go to Spotify and put on what I just played. Yeah. It's going to be a good day. It's going to be. Well, look at us supporting Aussie music. Yeah, love it.

Babs, as someone with probably one of the most eclectic music tastes in the team, I'm curious what some of your phases were, your top song. My phases were pretty funny, actually. Apparently, in January, it was my Pumpkin Spice Beach Indie phase. What the hell does that mean? What does that even mean? I don't know. Pumpkin Spice, it's like the tail end of Christmas carrying over to Jan for you.

Must have been. May was my McBling strut pop moment. McBling. I love how they give these. McBling. McBling, you were going through the Golden Arches at the time, getting your nugs. I think I was listening to Charlie XCX.

You were having a huge Apple year, weren't you? Where's your brat phase? Actually, it wasn't even in my Spotify, so I must have listened to it a few months. Did your boyfriend's man, The Cheeks, get a run at all? No. Oh, jeez. You would hope the girlfriend of the...

Is he lead guitar or bass guitar? He's bass guitar. Bass guitar. You would hope the girlfriend of the bass guitarist would be in your top 0-0-1. I would have thought so. You're not dating anyone from Rufus, and you're in the top 0-0-1. If I could, though, I would. Yeah. I'm full groupie.

If you were taking one of them to bed, you would think you'd be in the top. You'd think so. Babs, what's going on? Come on. I tried. You tried to take him to bed? You tried to listen to the music or you don't enjoy it? No, I tried to listen to it heaps.

Sounds full. Does he get annoyed when he looks at you? He's like, let me see you wrapped. Where's the cheeks? Yeah, yeah. Probably. He doesn't want to go through our text messages. Jess and Daco.

Hey, right now, this is a bit of fun. As we're all rapping the year as we do, we just did the Spotify rap, to which, you know, no one cares about except for yourself. Exactly. But this is the words that have been sort of voted by, I'm not sure who's done the vote, but the most annoying jargon that you get from sort of work. As in like on the work email? Yeah, the work email.

Something the boss might say, something maybe that annoying manager says. Yes, okay. So we've got the top 10 here. What I'm hearing is, let's drop it now. We're not bringing it into the new year. It'll come back. It always comes back, but it's quite funny. Well, it'll be pointed because you know they're annoying now.

So if you choose to use it, it's purposeful. Bosses would use this in emails thinking, yeah, this sounds good. Okay. And they'll hear this and go, what? Anyone who says ideation in any context, but especially in a workplace, ideation. Is that like brainstorming? It must be. Like, let's have an ideation about it.

Right. Yeah, like generate some ideation. Oh, let's just, just as I think about it. Is that how you speak as a person? Let's not make it more complicated than it needs to be. Where have I got coming in here at number nine? Touch base. Touch base is in there. Where have I got coming in here at number nine? Touchbase. Touchbase is in there.

Oh, I don't mind Touchbase. Because Touchbase to me is like, I'm just checking in. You know, if you haven't had a reply, hey, checking in. Hey, just touching base. Just touching base. Yeah, I do use Touchbase. Oh, is that annoying? You can't help but use Touchbase.

Yeah. As opposed to, hey, bitch, you haven't read my email. Yeah, yeah. Reply. Yeah, maybe that's why people get annoyed by it. You know, Touchbase. Because it's always passive. Yeah, maybe that's why people get annoyed. You know, touch base. Because it's always passive. Yeah.

I've never heard of this one, the North Star metric. Oh, I don't know North Star metric. You can use it in a sentence. Like, you're my North Star. Oh, okay. Like, what we're aiming for. What we're aiming for. Let's go.

That's our North Star. Our North Star is that. That does feel very corporate, doesn't it? Yeah, let's collectively work together to get that. We don't use a lot of this in our jobs, obviously. No, the email thread between this team is all poop articles. Spelling mistakes and poop articles. Yeah, that's right.

Shaga's not saying our North Star metric this week is our wordy-okey. And we're going, okay, mate, good to know. I would like to see that from Shaga, though. I think it would be more professional. Do it next year. No, you've got one to go tonight. I don't need it. Number six, let's table a discussion.

Oh, table it. Let's table a discussion. Let's table this and come back. Let's park it and come back to it. Table it feels HR-y. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? You're in trouble. Put your hands on top.

Yeah. What about this one? I love this one. Let's move the needle. Move the needle. We're moving the needle. We're moving the needle either way, guys. At the end of the day, let's table this.

We'll circle back and we'll come back to it. That's right. I'll touch base in a week. Number four, take this offline. Oh, see, you're in trouble now. You know what that gives? I don't want a paper trail. Let's go to that office that everyone goes to to yell at each other.

Let's take it offline. Let's take this offline. You know it's bad when you take it offline. You know it's bad. Number three, get our ducks in a row. People don't like get our ducks in a row. Ducks in a row seems to really annoy people. Wow, but it's such a clear, everyone knows what that means.

It must just be because it is used so much. Let's get our ducks in a row. We're going to get all our ducks in a row. We're going to lie and get our ducks in a row. But we all have that one colleague, not looking at anyone in this team, that's so chaotic and scattered, you sometimes need to tell them. Let's get our ducks in a row, Babs. Oh, I mean, just whoever it might be.

Yeah, Babs. Be our North Star metric, okay? Less chaotic ducks, more North Star from you. Thank you. We'll take this offline with you. Another one, people don't like low-hanging fruit. Are people using that in their working files? I guess.

Once again, maybe because it is common. All our emails are low-hanging fruit. Yeah, that's a lot of hanging fruit, guys. Toilet humour. Yeah. And then the number one, which is kind of disappointing, but I guess it's because it happens a lot when people have looped in such and such. But sometimes you do need to loop in the manager because

someone's being really just too hard basket. Hey, Jenny, just looping in our boss here. Our North Star metric doesn't seem to be aligned. Let's get our ducks in a row. Otherwise, I'd love to take this whole lot offline. How's you the other day? Now, I can't remember who emailed us offering us something, and you said, I'll loop in our producer Shy Guy.

I did. She wrote back going, thanks, Ducko. I can't see Shy Guy looped in, though, because you hadn't CC'd him. I haven't seen any email. Yeah, because you weren't looped in, babe. I didn't loop him in. haven't cc'd any email now that yeah because you weren't looped in I didn't loop him in and I was like

I'm cc'd on this yeah yeah I'm leaving and then I forgot to reply I don't think I replied to that what was that for I don't remember was she giving us chocolate

I think so that might have been chocolate she wanted to do something I texted you about it and you said because you were keen there was food but we couldn't do it

because it was related to another thing that sponsors this show oh the donuts yeah the donuts and Yeah, donuts. And then I was like, I'll loop in our thing. And she's like, Paige, you haven't looped anyone in. You can tell I don't do that.

Hey, Ducko, just touching base. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back if there's time.

Stepping up today, we have Hayley. Good morning, Hayley. Good morning. Hayley, for our fourth last edition of Alphabucks Choice, are you choosing the kids quiz for a grand or the grown-ups quiz for $10,000? I want to try the kids for $1,000. Love that.

What's that going towards? Christmas presents? No, I want to get myself singing lessons to stop annoying the neighbours. How loud are you singing? I can't sing, but I love karaoke, and so I'd like to try and learn a bit. Okay.

Wow, that is one of the best answers I've ever heard. What's your go-to karaoke song? Lover, You Don't Treat Me No Good No More. Lover, lover, lover. Come on, Kate. That's the one. Take it, Hayley. Give us a bit.

You don't treat me no good no more. Yeah. Oh, because then it's got the big wah. Lover. Yeah, it's in her backyard. It's like a Tuesday. Lover, lover. No matter what happens at the end of this, I think we've got to do a chorus.

Oh, yeah. Hayley, that's fantastic. Oh, my God. We've never wanted someone to win more. The letter you're going to work with is D. God, I wish it was K for karaoke, but it's D, okay? D for dream. D for dream.

So a dare to dream, Hayley. Dream lover. All right, Hayley, you ready to rock? Yep. Okay, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter D, we need you to name a kid's TV show. Pass. A dog breed.

Dalmatian. A shoe brand. Pass. A boy's name. Daniel. A Taylor Swift song. Pass. A clothing item.

Drenched coat coat Something that flies A doll A pizza franchise Something you'd find in a shed A drill Damn it Look, we got five, kind of four, but, you know Do you say drench coat?

You meant trench coat in your hand. There could be a drench coat. You never know. I doubt it. I don't. Still, a bit of fun. Tis the season, Ducko. Tis the season.

The ones we missed, the kids' TV show. That's a hard one. Dory the Explorer. A shoe brand done like volley. A Taylor Swift song, Don't Blame Me. My personal favourite. Is that the one you like? Yeah.

I'm not a Taylor Swift fan. Yeah. Hey, you're too busy singing Lover. A clothing item could have been a dress. But look, hey, you don't go away empty-handed. $100 to spend my soda gift box. That is all yours. But we can't get you the money for the singing lessons.

I'm sorry. Oh, that's right. I'll just have to stay for them. I love that. I'm really disappointed. I know. And we could have belted out a song together, Hayley, if's right. I'll just have to stay for them. I love that. I'm really disappointed. I know. And we could have belted out a song together, Hayley, if you won. Oh, I know.

Now it feels hard to ask you. It does feel hard to ask for another chorus. Yeah, anyway. Maybe we'll leave it there. Yeah, we'll leave it there. Hayley, Merry Christmas, Del. Merry Christmas to you guys and enjoy the holidays. Thank you very much.

It's not a holiday. It's professional development. But, yeah, we will be developing our skills. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's Overrated or Underrated. It's a great term. Blanket segment. Yeah.

With one rule, you cannot sit on the fence. Something is either overrated, i.e. it sucks and you're not for it, or it's underrated. Yeah. You love it. You love it. And it should be respected more. Yeah.

Our topic today, Secret Santa. Yeah. And now are we saying office? Chris Kringle, Secret Santa. Are we saying office Secret Santa, Ducker, or just in general? Do you want to blanket it in general? I think just in general. Because you can have like-

You're either for it or you're against it. You know, like Friends Secret Santa, if you have a group of mates, office, obviously work. Yeah. If you have a big family. My family did it one year. Yeah. Yeah.

Because we had some cousins and all that come of age of like, all right, you've all got full-time jobs now. Yeah, yeah. You can start buying gifts. Let's all do, yeah, Secret Santa. For the adults. Yeah. So where do you stand?

Secret Santa, is it overrated or underrated? Do you like it? Do you not like it, essentially? That's right. I don't think it- Let's move the needle. Let's. Let's touch base about Secret Santa.

Let's table the conversation. Yeah. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone to hear I am underrated. Thought you'd like it. I love gift giving. What? You? I love showing.

That's your love language. I love showing you how well I know you and how well I've been listening across the year. Is that why you like giving gifts? Because you're like, I heard you say that one time when I got you. Yes. I want you to have something you've always wanted, maybe not bought for yourself. My one caveat, though, my little asterisk.

Don't you be putting no joke price tag on it because that just means you get junk and I'm not interested in something becoming landfill. It's got to be a $60 minimum. Oh, goodness. Whether it's a colleague or friends or family, put an actual price tag. Otherwise, it's just trash. I like it.

I like Secret Santa, but I like it for a $30 price tag. So you're underrated, but with a different asterisk. Yeah, my asterisk is that it needs to be $30. Unless it's like if it's family and stuff and you're going a bit more X-y. But, for example, our work one, friends one I've done. Yeah, see, our work one. $30. I got outvoted $30.

You don't need to spend more on that. You can still get something a bit of fun. It's the novelty for me. See, that's what I got an issue with. Yeah, I like the novelty of the present. You know what I mean? It's so funny because we've not even called into question the secret part of Secret Santa. We drew our work, this team, Secret Santa, at what do you reckon it was?

8.30am. Yeah. By 9am, we had revealed who had who. Yeah, yeah. Well, Babs kind of, you know, Babs' face let it slip. Yeah, yeah. Babs' face. Someone got Jess.

Babs' disdain at pulling me. When I am the easiest person to buy for, everyone knows what I like. Easiest, not the cheapest, though. Did I say cheapest? Yeah. When we had a $30 lender, it's like, oh, no. So you'll be very proud of me, Daco. Babs texts me and said, what do you want?

I don't want to get you garbage because she knows I've got an issue with junk presents. Yeah. I only sent her something that was $4.95 over budget. That's good. That is very good from you. It's probably the best you've ever done. And then do you want to know how good Babs is? Yeah.

She messaged me back and she goes, I know you spent more than that on me because she knows I had her. Name something else. Oh, don't, Babs. Don't get into the tippetat. Don't you do that. So she got me this nice. Name something else. Oh, don't, Babs. Don't get into the tippetat. Don't you do that. So she got me this nice tea towel too. Oh, my God.

You two. So it's just turned into you two just getting each other presents. That's what this has turned into. I'm actually really proud of myself that I picked a tea towel that Jess would like too. She nailed it. She goes, you like this? You already showed her. Yeah.

You've really given up the whole point of this. This is not Secret Santa at all. She's going to like it. Thank you, Brad. And what happens if you just, God forbid, you give her a gift that she doesn't know about? It's a secret. What would happen there? She might not like it and she'll just chuck it out.

And it's a waste of my money. Pardon me for caring about the environment, Ducco. Look, I know Shy Guy may not love my gift, but it's going to be hilarious. Is it under budget? But at least we don't know what it is. Yeah, it's a secret. Is it under budget or on budget? On, right know what it is. Is it under budget or on budget? Right on.

Right on. On the nose. Okay. Shy Guy, where do you stand on Secret Santa? Over, I think. I don't like it. That's overrated. Yeah, it's over, yeah.

We've only done this segment all year. We still haven't worked out what's on the back. Just yes or no. Don't like it. Don't like it. Perhaps you like it. For this reason, you give it up. Yeah, well.

Because it's fun. I'm still going to be happy when I receive the thing Babs, do you like it? For this reason, you give it up. Yeah, well. Because it's fun. I'm still going to be happy when I receive the thing. Yeah, but you already know what it is. You know who gave it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how many you've got. I've done a Secret Santa before where they never revealed ever. Good.

They were like, the whole point is that it's secret. Fully secret. They're a bit weird, those ones. Oh, you would. Do you like the naughty Secret Santa ones? The stealing one? Yeah, Bad Santa where you get the number. I always get number one. So it's like, oh, you would. Do you like the naughty Secret Santa ones? The stealing one? Yeah, bad Santa where you get the number. I always get number one.

So it's like, oh, you're stuffed. You go first. Angus' family has done that. I've only ever done it once with Angus' family. And the limit was $100. So there's some good presents in there. So they were unbelievable presents. I walked away with a soda stream.

Unbelievable. See, that's a bit of fun. That's great. I feel like Secret Santa with a stealing thing. It's like when you play Uno. Everyone's household and family has different rules. They do. And then everyone gets very heated about the rules.

Point in point, it's Uno, not Uno, but every house calls it something different. 13, 10, 60. Where do you stand on Secret Santa's? Overrated, underrated, or maybe? What do you think should be the price limit for Secret Santa's? Oh, I love that. Can we get a ruling on that? Yeah, where do you think it is? Just to really clarify. Overrated is bad. Yes. Underrated, underrated, or maybe what do you think should be the price limit for Secret Centers? Oh, I love that. Can we get a ruling on that? Yeah, where do you think it is?

Just to really clarify, overrated is bad. Yes. Underrated is good. Yeah, just tell us if you like it or not and how much you spend. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's Overrated or Underrated. Very simple.

Yep. Well, is it? A lot of people are confused. Yeah. I'll say really clearly. Okay. Overrated is a bad simple. Yep. Well, is it? A lot of people are confused. I'll say really clearly. Okay. Overrated is a bad thing. Underrated is a good thing.

So we're talking today overrated, underrated secret Santa. That's correct. Whether that be amongst colleagues, we're currently in the heat, in the middle of our work secret Santa. It's not so secret. It's not so secret. You and Babs know exactly what each other have got. That's your fault.

You pushed the team to reveal who had me and Babs crumbled. Babs just crumbled. Yeah, I didn't say anything. Babs' face just crumbled. But I must say, she's risen to the occasion. I know what she's getting me because she asked me straight up, what do you want? She knows my feelings on junk presents.

She was scared. I got voted down for a decent price. So our price tag is $30. In this economy, Ducko, what are you getting decently for $30? She's going to end up in landfill. She's got me a beautiful tote. And then when I know you've spent more, let me get you a tea towel as well. And I'm so happy to receive it tomorrow.

It's really just Shy Guy and me who are the surprise presents tomorrow on the show that we'll reveal. But you also underrated as long as the price tag is ridiculous. I think if it's family obviously it can be more expensive, but friends and work, $30. Don't go over. You want sure I got to know how you really feel about it. I'm not spending more than $30 on you.

We've got a Brett on 131060. Brett, overrated or underrated Secret Santa, what do you think? Good morning, Jess and Darko. I am underrated, absolutely. Talk to me, Brett. Is this a family, friendship group, book club? Is it work colleagues?

Where do you do Secret Santa? It's definitely work colleagues and friends. I would definitely be an underrated person. Family and friends, I'll go a bit over the top. I like OTT, but yeah, I will, certainly for the friends and colleagues, I'll go underrated. $30 is a good price. $30, he likes it.

Anything more than $50 and we're pushing it. Yeah, I agree. What are you getting for $30 for a work colleague who you hardly know, Brett? Wait till you see what Shia Gaia got. Yeah, look, $30, you could get a box of chocolates. There you go, Brett, I like it. A box of chocolates. A box of favourites and a good card. For me, just... Thank you, Brett. Thank you, Brett, and thank you for, Brett. I like it. A box of favourites and a good card.

Thank you, Brett. Thank you, Brett. Thank you for your opinion. We go to Quinn on 131060. Good morning, Quinn. Overrated, underrated, Secret Santa, where do you stand? Good morning, guys. I stand underrated.

Quinn likes the Secret Santa. Are you doing this at school or something, Quinn? Where do you do Secret Santa? Yes, I am. I have recently done Secret Santa with my friends, and we're going out next weekend to do Secret Santa with our family. I love that. And what's your opinion, Quinn, on how much you should spend on a Secret Santa?

I reckon nothing over $50. I love that, Quinn. $50. Quinn's got the bank of mum and dad, and he's like, yeah, $50. Nah love that, Quinn. $50. Quinn's got the bank of mum and dad. And he's like, yeah, $50. Quinn's got a paper route I can already. I love that, Quinn. See, the youth get it.

Don't be buying me garbage. Quinn, who's $10, zero concept of money, is like, yeah, I reckon just get $50. Quinn's my kind of guy. Nathan, hello. Good morning, guys. Nathan, we're talking about overrated, underrated, secret Santa. Where do you stand? Absolutely overrated.

Nathan doesn't like it. Okay, what don't you like about it? Cheap, crappy gifts. Thank you. A bottle of wine I'm never going to drink. Chocolate brand I don't like. Yeah, yeah. Particularly if it's a work one of people you don't really,

if you've got a big office. Whittakers. If you're giving me a box of Whittakers, get in the business. So many lip balms. You're going in the Reggie box for next year. Yes, Nathan. See, but I appreciate that. When the price tag is not appropriate, it's crap.

You know, it's like at our, we had an engagement party years ago. We got given seven cheese boards. That's too many cheese boards. And I love cheese. Yeah, yeah. We kept two and re-gifted all the rest. That's, yeah. Thank you. That's what it becomes, doesn't I love cheese. Yeah, yeah. We kept two and re-gifted all the rest. That's, yeah. Thank you.

That's what it becomes, doesn't it? You just need a draw. That becomes your gifts to give next year. Thank you, Nathan. And let's wrap up with Jess. Overrated or underrated, where do you stand on Secret Santa? Oh, 100% underrated and bad Santa. Oh, I like the bad Santa.

Oh, yeah. Where you get the numbers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do that. Ashena's the go-to. Oh, yeah. Where you get the numbers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do that. And our family's about $100 limit. Wow. So I really buy what I want for myself and I try and steal it back. Yeah, that's what everyone does.

But then you get so hurt if you don't get it back. I know. I know. Particularly if you're one of the smaller numbers and have to go first. Oh, I draw one every time. You end up with the electronic salt and pepper shakers. Who put this in the pile? Who put this in the pile this year?

And then you use them and you're like, this is not too bad. We're not going to judge because it's more a PSA in education. Don't you be getting too comfortable around any of our animal friends? No. Because they can turn on you. Particularly ones you don't think so. Well, yes. Household pet, even.

Someone you've looked after from infancy. A man from the UK, Ducko, specifically Kirkby in Merseyside. Oh, Kirkby. His name's Nathan. Yeah. 34 years old. He's living his best life. Just doing his thing.

Nathan and his wife, Rebecca, they have a pet hamster. A Syrian hamster, to be precise. I don't know all the different species of hamster, but Syrian would suggest maybe that is a specific type of hamster. I don't know much about hamsters either. No, neither. You know what? For as long as I can remember, we only talked about this the other day.

I thought hamsters, guinea pigs and gerbils were the same thing. They are not. They are not. They're not. They're different. They are literally three different species of creature. And I don't want to offend people who own hamsters, but why? Do we own hamsters in Australia or are we a guinea pig country? You're right.

We're guinea pigs. Hamsters are American, isn't it? I think hamsters... I don't know. Once again. I feel like hamster is a big American sitcom pet. Yeah. But this is in the UK.

I don't know. I think I did have a guinea pig once as a kid big American sitcom pet. Yeah. But this is in the UK. I don't know. I think I did have a guinea pig once as a kid. You should remember. Yeah. We had a lot of different animals. Oh, you were on acreage. You had a lot of creatures. Yeah, we had ducks, guinea pigs, horses, dogs.

A couple of yabbies. Oh, yabbies, bird. Yeah. Can you get up a Syrian hamster in particular, shy guy? I want to have a look at this guy. Sure. Well, this is a girl, actually. So a hamster is just a larger guinea pig.

Oh, that's right. Hang on a minute. Oh, God. When you say that, do you mean it is a gu So a hamster is just a larger guinea pig. Oh, that's right. Hang on a minute. When you say that, do you mean it is a guinea pig and it's just a different name for it? They're both the same name. But if you have a larger guinea pig, you would say it's a hamster because it's above 20 centimetres. Oh, okay. So it is the same creature. But it's the same creature.

Oh, I thought it was. The size is the name difference. I feel like it changes every week. I feel like it does change, yeah. I swear Babs told us they're different creatures last time. It's just coopsandcages.com. Depends what Google search you pull up, I guess. What's a gerbil?

Yeah. Oh. Is that a different species? I feel like, yeah. Call Richard. Yeah, yeah. Do we... I don't think there was a whole conspiracy theory about him and gerbils.

Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. You know that one. I hate when you play it, but you know it. Stop it. You know that one. I didn't know it, so that applies to me. Yeah, but you don't control the button.

Back to Nathan. Sorry, back to Nathan. Nathan has a pet Syrian hamster called Mochi. Yeah. Mochi is a little lady hamster. Yeah. He's had Mochi forever and a day. But one day they sat down, sat down peacefully, the article goes on to say.

I'm assuming he's put on his favorite show, maybe reruns of the Big Bang Theory. Mochi's out of her cage. Let's sit on the couch together and have a nibble, Mochi. Let's hang out. You know what you're going to have a nibble on? Mochi has latched down on Nathan's finger. Oh no. I don't know if she got confused. She thought that's my afternoon treat. Yeah.

She's latched down on him. Unfortunately, Nathan must be allergic to hamsters. Oh, he can't be allergic and own one. He then went into anaphylactic shock. Oh, that's not good. And Mochi wouldn't let go. Oh, I just gnawed on there. So it sounds like he starts seizing.

His body instantly swells up. He couldn't breathe. He breaks out in hives. He's basically passing out. The partner, Rebecca, is trying to rip Mochi off Nathan's finger. Mochi's not letting go. Oh, no. Mochi's not letting go.

Rebecca panics, calls their equivalent of triple zero. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if the fire brigade came with the bloody jaws of life, but ambulance has rocked up. To get Mochi off. To get Mochi off. Ambulance has rocked up. They've rushed Nathan to the hospital.

They had to put him on freaking life support. He nearly. Did he die? Oh, my God. I thought Nathan had died. No, Mochi died. We're learning all about this in real time, everyone. In real time.

Nathan was on death's door in the ambulance, but they got him on adrenaline, you know, the EpiPen, antihistamines, put on oxygen, but Mochi died. Like a bee when it stings you and it dies? Yeah, yeah. Mochi died. Jesus Christ, this is a horrific story. As we keep reading. Nathan said it was absolutely horrendous. I had no idea a hamster bite could cause something like this. My whole body felt swollen,

my throat hurt, I couldn't speak for days and it felt like I was breathing through a straw. That's how much his throat was closing over. Oh, jeez. Oh my god. Or his favourite little pet too. Jesus, they've given me EpiPens to take home. How's this? For the next time a hamster wants to take me on. Oh, jeez. Well, he knows. He'll be prepared. He'll be prepared.

As if he's going to buy another hamster after this attack from Mochi. You wouldn't have thought so. It's like those people who adopt bear cubs and then are surprised when the bear attacks them. You know when it gets a bit older? It's like, don't be happy. It's going to happen. Eventually the bear's going to be not cute anymore. But I would say a bear is a cool animal.

Yeah. Hamster, lame animal. Edwin's called in, I believe, arguing that hamsters and guinea pigs are not the same. Oh, thank you. Are we going? Yeah, let's go. Is it Eden? Hello? Eden, sorry. Hi. Eden, can you educate us? What's going on with hamsters, guinea pigs and gerbils? They're just completely separate things. Okay, so shy guy's wrong. Completely wrong. He needs work. Okay. Well, sometimes his Googles are a bit stray.

So they are completely different species? Completely different. A hamster usually measures around 8 to 12 inches long. A guinea pig is 8 to 12 inches long, where a hamster is 2 to 7. Oh, okay, they're smaller. And which is the better animal? Guinea pigs. You can't have hamsters in Australia.

Yeah, I was going to say, we can't do that here. Okay, okay. Why is that? Why can't we have them here? I think they're a pest. It's a pest. But a guinea pig, not a pest. Yeah.

Just a pet. Well, you can't have bunnies in Queensland. Okay. Oh, bunnies. Yeah, right. Okay. Be shy, guy. Mate, mate.

Take it out with coopsandcages.com.au, okay? This is what we have to deal with. Yeah, that's poor for me. Should we get Eden in as his EP? Do you want to be a radio producer, Eden? Yeah, there's a job going, you in it. Maybe not. Do you just want to clarify?

Come on, Eden, you'll be all right. Well, thank you, Eden. Thanks for clarifying. Now that we have, we're asking, what's the lame animal that got the best of you? Yeah, 13, 10, 60, lame animals got the best of you. I mean, have you ever been fully chased by an emu? I have not. Like, emu chases are scary.

Yeah. Emus are. They're a lot, and they're quick. And they're very territorial. So fast. That's on our coat of arms. I don't know if you can be calling an emu lame. Oh.

But we eat our coat of arms. Yeah, we do. I mean, you know. Yeah. It's like plovers when plovers attack. Oh, my God. And those crappy little teemu magpies, the black and white ones that aren't magpies. What the hell are they?

I don't know. In our area, they're not magpies, but they've copied the magpie swooping. There was a whole thing of they're copying their bigger badass cousins. And they're like, we're going to start swooping people too. It's like, no, no, no. Don't you do that. Only magpies do that. I can't handle another bird swooping me.

There's only so much swooping we can take. Totally. Magpies are a bad influence. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. We're talking layman. Also, I got the better of you.

That's right. I got rid of the story. We're talking guinea pigs and hamsters and the difference. Eden called out very passionately to shoot Shy Guy down. We're not allowed hamsters in this country. No, because they're a pest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But guinea pigs, we are allowed.

And what's the difference? Size. Size and just straight up species. Yeah. Don't get us started on the gerbil. Eden didn't have an opinion and she's our expert. But someone got attacked by that. That's right.

Nathan has a pet hamster, Syrian hamster to be precise, called Mochi. Sat down peacefully with Mochi, I'm assuming to watch a Big Bang Theory rerun, when something got into Mochi. Something got into her. It was the lame humor of that show. Yeah, she was sick of the canned laughter. Why did you put this on again? I can't do it.

She is bit down on her daddy's finger, Nathan's finger. He has then gone into anaphylactic shock, completely covered in hives. He couldn't breathe. His partner, Rebecca, could not get Mochi off him. They called the ambulance. He had to be put on life support, basically, and the EpiPen and all that jazz. Mochi, RIP, has not come out of this thing alive. Nathan has survived barely.

And what a crap story to tell. Me hamster got me. Me hamster got me. That's not exciting. That's not the way of this thing alive. Nathan has survived barely. And what a crap story to tell. Me hamster got me. Me hamster got me. That's not exciting. That's not the way you want to go. When you show people that you've only got a nub for a pointer finger, jeez, what happened there? That must be an exciting story.

Nah, hamster bit me. Just a hamster. My pet hamster. Yeah, it's a lame animal. It's a lame animal. So we're asking you, has something similar happened? Rachel, hello. Hello, guys.

What lame animal got the better of you? I had a lovely male emu called Albie, and one day my brother-in-law was working on a whippersnapper in the shed and he decided to come in for a cuppa, and emu decided to go and eat parts of the carburettor and washers and screws out of the machine. What do you mean the emu attacked a whippersnapper? Yeah, well, it was all eat parts of the carburettor and washers and screws out of the machine. What do you mean? The emu attacked a whippersnapper?

Yeah, well, it was all in parts on the bench and we came out and it was just strewn everywhere. Wow. Emus are so ruthless, man. They are. And they get blood hungry too. They'll take on something with a blade. Yeah. Wow.

And so did the emu win? Yes. We never found the part. Oh. Big blobs of poo everywhere. Yeah. Do you still have the emu win? Yes. We never found the part. Big blobs of poo everywhere. Do you still have the emu? No, we released him into the wild. Oh, wow.

Once Alvy takes on the whippersnapper, Alvy's telling you, I'm not meant for this domestic life. You can't pat me under the chin. Ellie, on 131060, Ellie, what animal got the better of you? Hey, so I need to set the scene for you first.

So it's a beautiful day. It's my best friend's boyfriend's birthday. We went and bought six kilos of seafood, homemade seafood sauce, and headed down to the mouth. We're all sitting there enjoying it. It's a beautiful day. And my friend gets attacked by a peewee.

So the mini-verse version of a magpie. The teemoo version of magpie. Peewee is such a bad name. That is such a lame name. Its feet hit her cheek and it pecked her eyeballs.

Oh, Jesus. Hang on, you're all there with seafood. What about your friend? It hit her cheek and it pecked her eyeballs. Oh, Jesus. No. Hang on, you're all there with seafood. What about your friend? Why was she the object of their fury? We were just in shock. Yeah. They normally attack shiny things,

so our only saving grace is that we're like, oh, your eyes must be so beautiful. But then she wasn't so upset. Did she have any serious damage? Like, did any scratches or anything? No, she came, she had scratches on her cheek from its feet, but she was okay. She came good. Goodness.

Lucky. Peely feet on the eyeballs, not what you want. That is not what you want. Not on your boyfriend's birthday. No, not. Way to make it about yourself. When you got six kilos of seafood. That's a lot of seafood.

That's a bit. How many prawns? The prawns are a gram each or whatever. Ellie was punching seafood that day. That's too much seafood. That's a lot of seafood. That's a bit. How many prawns? The prawns are a gram each or whatever. Ellie was punching seafood that day. That's too much seafood. We go to Jay on 131060. The peewee was trying to tell him, relax, there's no creatures left in the ocean.

There's nothing left in the sea. Jay, hello. Good morning. I was about to make a Seinfeld reference and I knew you'd play the stick. I'm not going. No, don't. The ocean cold, they're running out of shrimp. Sorry, Jess, that's just far too neat.

There's two people out there laughing. Jay, are you one of those two people, Jay, laughing? A little bit, yeah. Yes, you know Seinfeld. Jay, what lame animal got the better of you? A ferret. Oh, that's embarrassing. A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, ferrets are psychos. They are. I don't know why my parents thought it was a great idea to give a bunch of kids a bunch of ferrets. I did something for RSPCA in New South Wales the other day, and there was a little ferret in the cage, Jay, and I was like, oh, they're so cute. I want to go pet them. God, I was like, don't touch me. So, Jay, sorry, did you guys have a bunch of ferrets as pets?

Yes, and we used to race them, which I know sounds even lamer than being raced by a ferret. That would be fun. She presses. I grew up in North West New South Wales. There's nothing there. You ride dirt bikes and you race ferrets. You race ferrets and ride dirt bikes.

Yeah, and so when I was a kid. It's a quiet Thursday afternoon. Where are the kids? We'll be racing a quiet Thursday afternoon. Where are the kids? We'll be racing our ferrets again. Where are the kids? They're out the back racing the ferrets. Racing the ferrets. So there's a thing called Jobus Campfire out of Bogota, New South Wales.

And when I was a kid, we used to have ferret races. And so you race them through this PVC pipe. And sometimes you have to deter them with some meat at the end. And yeah, I did that. And Bo was his name name and Bo latched on and didn't let go and two stitches later. And an embarrassing story to tell for the rest of my life. What body part did Bo go for? My finger, my middle finger.

They are vicious because they look so cute. They always look meerkat-esque when they stand up. Oh my God. And when they're babies, they're adorable. But then they grow up with huge teeth and it's, yeah, they're not adorable anymore. Jay, what became of Bo after he attacked you? Oh, no, my parents kept him because my dad loved him.

Yeah, obviously. It's okay. I know where I stand. They're not animals. I know where I stand. And also, what else do you do out there? In the pecking order of the family. If Jay's family loses Bo,

they're not going to show up to the ferret races anymore. Then they're losers. Bo's a champion. But we can look beyond. If Jay's family loses Bo, they're not going to show up to the ferret races anymore. Then they're losers. Bo's a champion, but we can look beyond. And let's wrap up with Mick. Hi, Mick. Morning. How are you? Yeah, wonderful.

We've heard about, I mean, killer hamsters, ferrets, the peewee bird. What lame animal got the best of you? So we had three pet ostriches raised from babies. Wow. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, one day I was just feeding it with the wife and went to walk away, and the next minute I'm flying through the air, and, yeah, one of them kicked me. He kicked you? Was it not like the dinner you had served?

No, same thing every day, but, yeah, just wasn't happy, a bit aggressive, protective of the wife, I think. Oh, my God. What does an ostrich kick feel like? Turns out they're the second most dangerous bird in the world. Is it after emu or is cassowary the most dangerous? Cassowary, yeah. Cassowary is the most dangerous.

Yeah, yeah. Also, ostriches are like uglier emus. They've got a bit of a chip on their shoulder. They've got a chip on their shoulder. I can't believe they kick hard. Mick, what were your ostriches' names? They were Zigzag on their shoulder. They got a chip on their shoulder. I can't believe they kick her. Mick, what were your Austrians' names? They were Zigzag and Zulu. And which one kicked you?

Zulu. I actually can't remember. Oh, yeah. Okay. What happened after it kicked you? Did you get rid of them then? Yeah, we gave it to our neighbour. Did you say, watch out, this one's a bit kicky?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go, Darren. You'll love it. Yeah, he ended up a bit kicky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go, Darren, you'll love it. Yeah, he didn't end up attacking them as well. Kicking or other forms of aggression? No, I think it was kicking their calf. Aren't ostriches really fast? Yeah.

If the Lion King is to be believed. Jess and Ducko. For the final time in 2024, it's one of our favourite games. Quizmaster Babs is going to give us a word. We are going to attempt to sing a song with a lot of energy and passion. Just go Shy Guy. Aren't we Shy Guy? And more than just one line of the song. If I know more than one line, I'll sing it. Well, you don't get the point if you only do one line and it than just one line of the song. What if I know more than one line?

I'll sing it. Well, you don't get the point if you only do one line and it's like the title of the song. Let's go, team. And I'm saying extra points if you can make it a Christmas song. Okay. All right. Are you ready? Yes.

Your first word is time. Time goes by so slowly for us. We wait. Time goes by so slowly. I know. You're talking about Madonna. Madonna. Yeah, hung up.

And I'll take that. What's the other lyric? The one I got wrong. Time goes by so slowly for us. Anyway, whatever. No, that is one of the lyrics. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.

Okay, good. It trails off like that. I know Madonna doesn't like it. You definitely could have made that a Christmas song lyrics. Yeah, it is? Yeah, it is. Okay, good. It trails off like that. I know Madonna doesn't like it. You definitely could have made that a Christmas song too. Yeah, you could have done Mistletoe. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Oh! That could have been a double point, I don't know.

Yeah, and you've just missed out. Anyway. What's your favourite one? Oh, damn it. Second word is Friday. Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. It's nearly the weekend. Remember when we interviewed her?

Terrible song. Yeah. Rebecca Blair. And then she brought it back for like the 10 year, was it the 10 year anniversary? Yeah, nearly the weekend. We interviewed her. Terrible song. And then she brought it back for like the 10 year, was it the 10 year anniversary? We interviewed her. Horrible interview. Yes. Horrible song. I don't know what we expected.

All right. So one point to Jess, one point to Ducko, none to Shy Guy. Love that. The next word is goodbye. Goodbye, my lover. Goodbye, my friend. Goodbye, my friend. You have been the one. You were way shy, guys.

Yeah, no. Duggo, that was nice. That was good. Is that a share? Is that a share point? Yeah, we're being shy. I like that. That was good. Okay.

All right, next word is bling. Bling. Give that hotline bling. Crap, I don't know the word. I know. Give that hotline bling. Crave, I don't know the words. I know what your hotline bling. That can only mean one thing. You were going to give me, Crave, if I had done that. I know what my hotline bling.

And I want to be. I don't know the alarm. That can only mean one thing. You used to call me on my cell phone. Late night till I'm still alone. I still don't know when to get to the chorus. Call me on my cell phone. No, but that's it. I know when that hot to the chorus. Call me almost. No, but that's it.

I know when that hotline bling. What do you reckon, Babs? That can only mean one thing. I don't know. You've got to make a call. This is your job. Well, I'm just going to say no because you helped each other. I'm sorry.

What you could have done for the spirit is both give us a point. I know, but no, I'm sorry. You just both got a point then. Can I get a score update? Yous are both tied on two. Shy Guy's still losing. Wait, did you hear what I said? Shy Guy's still losing. And the next word is hot.

Oh. Hot cross buns. H-O-T-T-O-G-O. She spells it, but does she say it? Yeah, she does. Hot to go. I don't know what she says in it. You can take me home.

Too hot to go. I'm sexy. No, hot. There's so many sunsets. There's so many. The sun is hot. Hot. You're hot.

I'm so hot. Feeling hot, hot, hot. Here's so many. The sun is hot. Hot. You're hot. I'm so hot. Feeling hot, hot, hot. Here's that one. Gusto. Hit me with the chorus again. No, I nearly did an accent. That was really bad. That would have been cool.

You can't get cancelled on the last week. Okay, give him that. Thank you. That's your pity point. Great song. But what are the other lyrics? It's in an accent. I don't know.

We've got to do the, is it the conga? Ole, ole, ole, ole. We got there. All right. Next word is mirror. Mirror, mirror. Oh, no. Mirror on the wall.

That's what I was going to do. Here we are again. What's that? Justin Timberlake? No. Mirrors by JT and Buzz. Oh, no way. Because I got that. Because I got that. Mirror. Oh,ake? No, it's Mirrors by J.T. Oh, Lil Wayne. Has that gone?

Cause I got my mirror. Oh, yeah. No, I got that. Yeah, I know. That one's, is it Lil Wayne? I think it's Bruno Mars, Mirrors. Did you sing? Yes.

I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it. I absolutely heard it. What did he sing? Thank you, Babs. He sang Mirrors. Mirrors by Bruno Mars. Yeah.

It's actually, it is a song. Mirror on the wall, here we are again. To the rising floor. Yeah. You're my only friend. Once again. So what I'm hearing, Doug, is we can just mumble some words. That's not what I did.

And now we're all tied, so this is for the win. Ooh, because we are late. So late. Okay, you ready? Yeah. The word is lips. Coming from the lips of an angel. Here it goes.

It sounds so sweet. What a song. What a track. Well, Jess wins. When I want to lift a ninja, here in my soul. Come on, Shogun, sing it. I don't know it.

You don't know it? Because it won my Forgotten Banger once. That's right. Shogun, that's why it's in my head. Oh, it did too. With the lips of a ninja. How does that bring up lips? Yeah.

Oh, come on. Jess and Daco. We are running a little bit late today. It's been having a bit too much fun with each other in the studio. You know what I mean? Oh, it's too much fun. My husband had a grade A party foul at dinner last night, but you'll never know. What?

You'll never know because I think it's more important we get to Alpha Box. Grade A party foul. What could it be? No, don't worry about it. We've got to get to Alpha Box. Maybe he didn't like something that you ordered. Did you see what car I was driving today? You came in like five minutes after me.

It was your normal car, wasn't it? Nope. That's his car. Grade A party fail, Ducco, but you'll never know because we've got to get to Alpha Box. He mucked your car up. That's what we call a tease in radio. When are we going to talk about that? We've got no room. Might be Jan 13th.

Tomorrow. We'll find a spot because we do need to get to Alpha Bucks 13, 10, 16. It's important. It's very important. We need to give this cash away. 1K or 10K.

It's up to you. The choice is yours. It's our third last iteration of Alpha Bucks choice. You will not have a choice when we return next year.

You have to play the grown-ups edition. Maybe. How about this? Whoever calls in today, Shaga's going to give you a pump-up speech live on the air

before you play. This is a great idea. Like a real motivational speech. Because when you and I try, I think we throw people off. Yeah, get a bit too hectic. Some of the worst results we've had is after we've tried to do Bring It On Chance. I can do my Al Pacino piece with inches any given Sunday speech.

You could. I can do the whole thing top to tail. I don't think you should. You don't want me to do it? Nah. Okay. Because the proof is in the pudding and we've never been able to get someone over the line. Yeah, that's true.

We've never tried a Shy Guy pump-up, though. Because you know it's only going to be a sentence, if No. Okay. Because the proof is in the pudding and we've never been able to get someone over the line. Yeah, that's true. We've never tried a shy guy pump up though. Because you know it's only going to be a sentence, if that. Yeah. Maybe I'll just give you the letter. Holy moly. Oh, wow. You are feeling frisky today, my friend. You can tell it's the second last day. Oh my god. Daddy Dips is just

relaxing. Look out, ladies, the Slim Ripper's here. And we have to clear out all the extra biscuits so maybe you'll win those as well today. There's my whips. Can you get those back to me? You said I could have some. Whips or the biscuits? Because I'm now getting confused.

The biscuits. And you still owe me some stuff, Babs. You've got to return my things. Anyway, let's play 13, 10, 60. The stakes could not be higher. All the odds more in your favour. So are you giving the letter now, Slim Reaper? No. Will you vibe it out?

It'll be part of my pump-up. Oh, okay. Well, then they're going to get it like 10 seconds before when they would get it. That was the tease. 13, 10, 60. And next year, hear about Angus's party foul. And why Jess is driving a different car today. Let's trot, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's do it. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Say your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you are unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back if there's time. Trotting with us today is Maddie. Good morning, Maddie. Good morning.

Ready to get on the horse, Mads? Absolutely. I am so ready. Great attitude. Now, we promised you a pump up. Yes, that's right. From the one and only MC Pump Up. Oh, yeah, MC Pump Up.

EP Shy Guy. Meet Maddie. Hi, Maddie. Hi, how are you? Good, thank you, Maddie. Are you ready for your little pump up? I'm so ready. Mate, hold on.

Wait, wait, wait. What are you playing? I'm just getting it ready. Come on. All right. Come on. Maddie, it's time to step up to on. Oh, just step up.

I've wrote this down. Take two. Take two. Start it again. Go, go, go. Wait, wait, it's time to step up to... Oh, just... I've wrote this down. Take two. Take two. Start it again. Go, okay, start it again. Wait, wait, wait. It's building. Hey, Maddie.

It's so late. This is so unnecessary. Come on. Maddie, meet Shai. I've already done that. Anyway, here's your pop-up. Okay. Maddie, it's time to step up on the field.

We're here to stay. Turn up the heat. There's no backing down. We're here to win. Let's own this town. Let's hustle. Let's grind. It's game day.

Your letter is W for win. Let's do it. Oh! Love that. This is Fanny Flutters. Let's hustle. Let's grind. It's game day. Your letter is W for win. Let's do it. Oh! Love that. Yes! This is Fanny Flutters. Let's do that during the ads. Maddie, are you ready?

I am ready. Your letter's W. Let's go. Let's rip in. Do you want the kids' questions? Kids, absolutely. Yeah, good. Okay, good.

Your time will start after the first question, Mads. Starting with the letter W. Prepare your whistles to be wet. We need you to name a place you shop. Westfield. A drink. Water. A superhero. Wonder Woman. A girl's name. Pass. An appliance. Pass. A movie. Pass.

Something you wear. Wedding dress. A fruit. Watermelon. A lolly. Pass. An appliance. Oh, double pass.

I don't think we've ever had a double, the pass on one. Oh, she came out so strong, ended up with seven. Damn it. I thought the pump-up seats. She got five in a row, like bang, bang, bang. I was. I was starting to pull the money out from under Shaga. Me too.

I could see you pulling out from under her too. The pressure's up to me. No. A lolly could have been a warhead. The Werbbers. An appliance, a washing machine. We talked about Jess on one of those yesterday. A movie. We talk about washing machines a lot on this show.

So much. A movie could have been wicked. It's out right now. It's trending everywhere. Of course. And now the only free you didn't get. You don't go away empty-handed. It's not the cash, but it is a $100 My Soda gift box.

That's all yours. Beautiful. Thanks so much, guys. Maddie, what did you think of Shy Guy's pump-up? I loved it. That was awesome. Well, we've only got two more goes at Alpha Bucks tomorrow. We do, yes. I reckon we need that again. A pump-up a day for Shy Guy's pump up. I loved it. That was awesome. Well, we've only got two more goes at Alpha Bugs tomorrow. I reckon we need that again.

A pump up a day for Shy Guy. Keep it going for sure. We love it. And Maddie, what do you think it is? I have heard that the last few days and I'm obsessed. Love it. Yeah, Maddie. Hello.

Shy Guy. Hello. Thank you, Maddie. Merry Christmas Ciao, guys. Hello. Thank you, Maddie. Merry Christmas. Thanks so much. Merry Christmas. We play again tomorrow at 6.30 and 8. 10K or 1K choices.

I thought she had that. Jess and Ducko. We're ducking over to my neck of the woods. Not French. Whatever the fucking thing. Moussivivie. Oh, good to see you. Moussivivie.

Good to see you, Uncle Ducket. Good to see you, Papa Duck. How do you say uncle in French? En clair. It's funny, it's everything like that. En clair. En clair. En clair.

If you just swallow everything, you sound French. Yeah, that's nice. It's nice and phlegmy. Exactly. It's like you've got a half-chewed up croissant in your throat. Yeah, that's how we do it, us French people. I would love to see the percentage of French I have in me

because it's not much. You know what I got from the family bad Santa last year? I stole the Ancestry.com. Yes. Why don't I swab one cheek? We'll swab you

on the other cheek. We'll do that. We'll try and get two for one. I would love to do an Ancestry. Just yesterday, you told me that I should do one because you're like, yeah, I don't know what's in.

The way you tanned after 12 hours. Granted, you were a long time doing your deck. I tanned very fast. But how fast you tanned. I reckon you've got, yeah, I don't know what's in. The way you tanned after 12 hours. Granted, you were a long time doing your deck. I tanned very fast. But how fast you tanned. I reckon you've either got European or South American in you.

Yeah. Oh, South American would be nice. And you don't even think of the French as like the tanny ones. I can shake my hips too. Maybe it is South American. It could be South American. Have you got some Peru in you? Could do.

Anyway, I'll get us back on track. Shaga's having a conniption over there because we're so late. Calm down, Shaga. He's getting emails from the boss. I've got two days left, fire off. The boss isn't here. What are you talking about? What did your kid lie about?

13, 10, 60. You won't believe it. This is my spirit animal. A 12-year-old French boy. You are a 12-year-old French boy. Yeah. He didn't want to go to the dentist so much. What's his name?

I hate going. It doesn't have his name. Pierre. Let's call him Pierre. Oh, good one. I was going to say Gary. I knew you were going to say Timmy or Gary. Pierre.

He didn't want to go to the dentist so much. He hates the dentist. Is that a universal thing? Oh my God. Well, they did a study. 67% of people admitted to lying about going to the dentist or not going to the dentist. Like they don't want to go at all. Also, their loved one might be going, oh, are you due for your checkup?

Yeah, I went last week. What do you mean? I hate it. I have a huge phobia of the dentist. My father-in for your checkup? Yeah, yeah, I went last week. What do you mean? I hate it. I have a huge phobia of the dentist. My father-in-law is also a dentist, which doesn't help the situation. But he takes a lot out on you. Oh, yeah, he does. I don't think he needs to do half the stuff he does do on you.

Remember he gave me a filling with no painkillers? And I was like, mate, I come here for the Novocaine. What are you talking about? Load me up, Lord. Come on. What do you mean I'm 33 and I can't get the happy gas? Where's my sticker? Remember as a kid you would get a sticker?

The sticker's for bravery. Anyway, this kid you would get a sticker for bravery? Anyway, this kid lied about going to the dentist. So he told his mum, I'll go after school, okay? So he could walk there. Jeez, that's a lot of responsibility for a 12-year-old. Yeah, I know. Take yourself to the dentist. How's this though?

He didn't go and he came home and he claimed that he was kidnapped on the way to the dentist. His mum took him to the police. He kept going with it, saying that a European man in his 30s with a vertical scar on his face... Oh, my God, that's specific. ..made him get into his car and he got kidnapped,

so they took it really seriously. They were, where were you, when did this happen? And how'd you escape? Yeah. They looked at all the CCTV footage. Apparently, the investigation went for some weeks. Oh, wow. Of course they're going to take it seriously.

When they couldn't find a man or little Pierre anywhere in this footage, and they got him back in for questioning again, he's like, yeah, I made it up, When they couldn't find a man or little Pierre anywhere in this footage and they got him back in for questioning again, he's like, yeah, I made it up. I just didn't want to go to the dentist. Wow. I lied because I'm so scared of going to the dentist. I was rather tell the police and my mum that I got kidnapped.

Oh, my God. And I'd rather waste weeks of resources, stress. Can you imagine his parents, little Pierre, being like, well, we can never let you out of our sight again. There goes all your freedom. Imagine the dinner he got that night, though, when he got away from the kidnapping. He was a hero for 24 hours.

It's just croissants 24-7. Or steak frites, maybe. Oh, Pierre, that's one hell of a lie. It is. And kids lie. And I just love the idea. I don't care what the next step of this will be. I'm going to think of the most dramatic thing I can think of.

I got kidnapped by a man with a scar on his face. Of course they're going to call the police. Yeah. He's seen James Bond. He's just quoted some heroes. Yes. So 13, 10, 60. Do you have a kid?

What did your kid lie about? I don't know if you've got the follow-up there, but did his mum end up taking him to the dentist? Oh, it doesn't say. Oh, I reckon she's gone wall as punishment. You're going to the freaking dentist. You're getting the drill. You sit in the chair and get the drill.

That's right. But yeah, we want to know, what did your kid lie about? What did your kid lie about? What were they trying to get out of or cover up maybe? How big was it? How big was it? Yeah. I mean, I always used to lie on show and tell at school.

I remember that. I remember. You have been a don't let the truth get in the way of a good story from a very young age. Yeah. And I remember there was my mortal nemesis in grade three. He told a good story for Chantel. Oh, did he have something exciting happen on the weekend? So I went out there and said that we got a horse.

So my sister rides a horse now. We didn't. And she didn't. And my sisters went to that school. And the teacher went up to my sister in the playground. I was like, you got a horse. The family ran with a lie for me, though. Yeah.

That's the kind of thing they do. I was going to say, that's where you need to, if you've got accomplices in your life, you've got to brief them. But she just went with it without any briefing. They know me. They know me. Who told you this? Oh, Ducco.

Yes. Whatever he said. Yeah, he just did that, didn't he? Clip, clop, clip, clop. 13.10. Is that why you say giddy up so much? Maybe it is. All stems from that lie.

We did eventually get horses, so was it a lie? Foreshadowing. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Oh, my God, we're crossing live to one of Ducko's little cousins. Pierre. Pierre in France. Good to see Pierre.

I hope he got my Christmas present. He basically faked that he got kidnapped by a European man with a scar on his face in France because he didn't want to go to the dentist so bad, and the investigation went for some weeks when they realised Pierre was lying just to get out of go to the dentist so bad. And the investigation went for some weeks when they realised Pierre was lying just to get out of going to the dentist. I just love the autonomy that French parents give their kids. Pierre, after school, I know you've just finished a hard day in year six, walk yourself to the

local dentist. Sure, sure, maman. No worries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Neck minute. Pierre comes home late. Jeez, that was a late dentist appointment. You're not going to believe it, man.

Kidnapped. I didn't make it because I got kidnapped. And I got out. I lived to tell a tale. The fact that the police late dentist appointment. You're not going to believe it, Mark. Kidnapped. I didn't make it because I got kidnapped. And I got out. I lived to tell a tale. The fact that the police took his story seriously from the get-go. I do like that. I like that. We've got to believe people.

Yes. We've got to believe people. We're 12-year-old now. Pierre maybe has done some damage for people, you know, telling the truth now. For his own kind. Being believed. But we don't know what your kid lies about on 131060. We go to Jade.

Good morning, Jade. Good morning, guys. How are you? I'm good. I have a very embarrassed young man sitting next to me about this story. Oh, fantastic. How old are we talking? How old is your kid?

He was 15 at the time. Okay. And went and had a shower and come out and freaked out to us and went, the shampoo washed away my eyebrows, Mum. The shampoo. He tried to tell you the shampoo had washed away his eyebrows. Yeah. What had he actually done?

Tried to wax them or something? Gave his eyebrows off. Little back story. He's got bad ADHD and zero impulse control. Yeah. Right. Just decided that he would look good with no eyebrows. Needless to say, he now has the nickname Casper because he has blonde hair, blue eyes, and

he's as white as a ghost. Oh, no. And, Jade, as someone who's been washing their hair for, you know, their whole life, I think you know shampoo doesn't do that to eyebrows. No, and the same shampoo his whole life. He's got mummies raised from the shower. He's just done it. He's like, maybe I'll tell her it was the shampoo.

I'll tell her it was the shampoo. I've had a reaction to your fancy shampoo, mum. Also, nothing looks worse than no eyebrows on someone. I know. Like, it's such a funny thing that you don't think about. When they're gone, though, my goodness, you miss them. I know, because you can try and draw them on, but you can tell. Yeah, it doesn't work.

Casper, that's great. Let's go to Micaiah. Good morning. Morning. Your daughter has been telling you some fibs. What's been going on? Well, she has, you know, an iPad and we have credit cards and stuff linked to it. The bank card's linked to it.

So when she does chores, she gets, you know, a little bit of money and buys a game. Okay, yeah. Well, she ended up spending our rent money and then tried to lie about it that she only spent $2 and we must have got hacked. Wow. So, Michael, can you tell me, how much did she actually end up spending?

Over $400. Oh. On what? Like additions to her game? What was it? Yeah, Roblox. She wanted to keep buying it to get it, and she just pretty much

bought everything on the game. But see, that's a good one. We got hacked. We must have got hacked. Yeah, and you probably believed her too. You looked at her, hang on a minute, why is your Roblox so elite? Yeah, we've got to call the Falcon. Kelly on 131060, what did your daughter lie about, Kelly? Oh, look, we've recently, they're in primary school, and we've recently had what they call Grandparents Day,

where grandparents can come in and view the classrooms and see what all the kids have been up to. So all the children were told, whoever doesn't have any grandparents or that can't make it, they might be able to do some special jobs on the day. So my daughter told her teacher that all four grandparents, unfortunately, had passed away. Okay.

Just so she could do the special jobs. But all four of her grandparents are very much alive and a part of her life. How great were these special jobs that your daughter was like, I'm going to do this special job. Like handing out pamphlets? Yeah. Apparently ushering people to their seats and everything in the hall.

So she thought she was very important. She was like, Nan, Pa, don't come. Yeah, much to her disgust, I sent her grandmother and grandfather in too. They rock up. I thought they were all dead. I always felt too guilty. You know when you wanted to call in sick, but it's like, oh, I had the flu last week.

I'll say Nan's passed away. But I always felt too guilty. You know when you wanted to call in sick, but it's like, oh, I had the flu last week. I'll say Nan's passed away. But I always felt too guilty because I'm like, oh, but she might be on her last legs. Kelly's daughter's got no issue with that. No cares. No cares. Annette, wrap us up here on 131060.

What did your kid lie about? Hi. My son was in year one and he broke his arm. And it was his right arm, so he couldn't write. So the teacher gave him an iPad, which was really cool oh yeah and then then the principal came in and she went oh well he you can use my iphone that's okay so uh he stole it and he he hid it under his bed and we had like notes come home all the parents got notes throughout the whole school. And I asked him, you know, do you know about this? And he's going, no, Mum, no, I don't.

And then I found it, like, two weeks later under his bed. Oh, my God. What was that like, having to march him back into the school? And they're like, well, this is a teachable moment. Because you're an accomplice now in the fact. No accomplice. I marched him back in, made him go to the principal and say sorry. He was so embarrassed.

Yeah, I bet. Oh, little sticky fingers. How was that for the principal? Does he look at you like, was it a bit judgy? She was okay. She was a little bit shocked. Why did she give him the phone? He had an iPad.

Don't be giving your iPhone out. God forbid he goes into the photos. Didn't think of that. Yeah. I think because there was another child who needed... Oh, the iPhone. Oh, okay. You know what?

That kid was probably liming. Like, yeah, I broke my arm too. I can't write. If I was in school, I saw someone. Give me a device. My brother just texts me. He goes, what are you doing? I'm at work. What do you mean? What do I do every day till nine?

He goes, you on holidays yet? I went, well, if you're tuned in, you would hear the energy is of two people who are on the cusp. Starting to see the back door. As we were dissecting the pops and inner, that Nelly song.

Oh, yeah, the pops. The pops, yeah. Right now, though. Dad and I on the deck on the tools. The Duckman family men. You, your team, and I can only assume your dad is Wilson. He's Wilson, across the fence. Is he the name?

Is that Mr. Wilson? I think it's Wilson. He's lurking. Yeah. Anyway, we've re-centered the deck. We're repainting it. No, he's Al. Oh, he's Al. The side Mr. Wilson? I think it's Wilson. He's lurking. Yeah. Anyway, we've reset the deck and we're repainting it. No, he's Al. Oh, he's Al. The sidekick.

Yeah, he is. We had Dad on the show yesterday getting an update. He can't come on today. He's probably too heavily dehydrated and sore. I know. You're going to send your father back up to your mother, a shriveled husk. Oh, yeah. Mum's already sent me a message like, don't kill him.

We've basically reset this huge deck and we're painting it again. And it's looking spectacular, I may say. It's looking a lot better. Like, you just gave it some new life. Like, you painted it the colour it was. Classic lick of paint. She'll be right. She'll be right.

Sanded it back. There's one bit of broken wood that, like, that got broken. We were doing some of the landscaping stuff. Thank you for clarifying. The broken wood had been broken. Shut up, man. We're on the way out. My point is, I was like, I will fix that.

It got to the point me and Dad looked at it. His piece of broken wood, that was just perfect. Yeah, that broken bit of wood. I was trying to really let you know how broken it was. Oh, I've got the picture. It's like the sword in Lord of the Rings that gets broken in three different ways. You can suck. Sorry, Jess.

That's just far too niche. Anyway. Anyway. I'm proud of you for niching yourself. All we did is just paint over the broken wood. We didn't even fix it. So it's not come off. I was like, Dad, just paint it.

She'll be right. That's so funny. So we just painted the broken part and he just kind of put it back there. I'm like, that's how the Alan Duckett men do it, baby. You're like, we've come this far. Yeah. We were here to sand and paint. I ain't fixing the deck.

I ain't fixing anything. Anyway, Morgan was at work. Dad and I got going. She comes home. And I reckon the most common thing people messaged me yesterday was. Because you were giving us updates on your Instagram. Yeah. It was eight hours straight of us painting and doing a tough job.

Shout out to all the painters out there. My goodness. I don't know how you do that. Well, I think the painters are being professional, knowing how to be efficient and smart. I had a few painters reach out to me and they're like, mate, why didn't you get a long roller? And I was like.

You're on your hands and knees. You're making your father get on his hands and knees. It wasn't just brushes. We had rollers. But I mean, once again, screw you, Bunnings. I went to you and you didn't help me at all. At all. But they're the DIY specialists.

I know. So have you walked in? I was like, we're painting a deck. Here's a photo. What do you recommend? They gave me the two hand paint brushes. They were still rollers, but they were just hand ones. Instead of a long one where you can stand up and roll it.

It looks like a broom almost. Yeah, and I know in my head now, common sense would think, why not have that? But, you know, it's not in my wheelhouse. Not to, you know, support you, but yes. Why would you know? Thank you. I went to dinner last night with a Sparky and he went, what's with ducko on his head?

I went, bro, I don't know. We love pain, baby, in the Alan Duncan household. That's what me and dad do. I know what you were thinking. You're going, this is like a 12-hour job. I'm not going to be able to get to the midday gym class. How can I make this as hard as possible to counteract my lack of going to the gym? So we got off of that and then people messaging, why don't you get the Bunnings spray gun and

then you can just spray, like you can spray it for the second coat rather than do it. I'm like, well, that would have also been fricking fantastic. Because you hired the sander, like a full industrial thing. Correct. You can hire all this crap, can't you? Oh, I know. Yeah, you can. Anyway, look, it still looks fantastic.

And now you can look at that deck and go, blood, sweat and tears. Oh, I know. Yeah, you can. Anyway, look. It still looks fantastic. And now you can look at that deck and go, blood, sweat and tears. Oh, yeah. On our knees. Poor dad's going to have no knees left. My lower back, we're both going like... His cartilage is already that of an older man. But when we were... Morgan came home, sorry, and she was like,

why didn't you wear gloves? I left gloves out for you and dad and I were just covered in paint everywhere. I was like, oh, that would have worked. I had paint like on my face. Hang on, Morgan, you should go work at Bunnings. Where were you, Morgan? You went to work. You left me and dad.

This is what happens when me and dad get together and just do manly things. And the boys light up. So the soul net came on. So we were listening to a lot of different tracks. Would you have your UE Boom out there or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Bose Mini Sound Link 2. Not from Bunnings yet.

No. No, I'm never going back. Nah. Shout out to when I walk into Bunnings next and they see me. Oh, no. Whoever stitched you up, obviously not a fan of the show. No. They were trying to punish you.

One song came on, and it was when we were getting a bit, it was getting long in the tooth. I was six hours in. We were just getting a bit delirious. And all of a sudden... Bit of Macy's. Macy's, right. getting a bit, it was getting long in the tooth. I was six hours in, we were just getting a bit delirious and all of a sudden... A bit of Macy's. Macy's, right. I was like,

let's do it, Dad. Hang on, what playlist did you have on? Throwback playlist. I actually had my Forgotten Friday Bangers playlist on. All our Forgotten Bangers were getting played. And this came on and we were just painting. I was like, Dad, do you want to hear it again? We just kept playing it. Was this the pep you needed? Yeah, we got this one going.

To finish that second code. Couple of boys on their hands and knees rolling out some paint when they really didn't need to be listening to Macy Gray. We could have done it half the time. Anyway, second code. That piece of broken wood really slowed you down. Jess and Daco. It's no secret how grateful we are when the rice cookers pick up the phone. It's one thing to DM, it's one thing to text, it's one thing to tell us in the street.

But we so appreciate when you pick up the phone and go, yes, I want to tell the guys a story. And share things with us. I want to share things. And it's been so joyful all year. We've had some unbelievable contributions. And, yes, had a lot of fun this week looking back at some people who have stood out. Mate, the guy from yesterday was week two of this program. Hilarious.

January 24. Yeah. Today's look back down memory lane, a little bit later in the year was October. But I told you a story. Remember this, Ducko? I told you a story about my girlfriend, Jade, who said, birds love me. They're obsessed with me. They'll poo on me all the time, which she takes as a positive. They're always around. She's had so many encounters with birds. And we thought we'd try. Are animals drawn to you? Is there a certain species or is something

going on in the animal kingdom? Never in our wildest dreams did we think we would get a contribution like Enya's. This is what happened when we asked the question about do animals love you? You've got some sort of technique involved with animals. Yeah, so they don't care for me on my own, but when I play the recorder, I'm like the Pied Piper of cats. Of cats? So I'll play it at home and my cats like meow and follow me around, just like the Pied Piper with the rats.

Yeah, yeah. They follow me around the house. So I took it to the streets. And when I say the streets, I mean the street I lived on because I don't want to be a social crier. Do you have the recorder on you? Yes, I do. I don't want to say you sound like a crazy recorder you have the recorder on you? Yes, I do. I don't want to say you sound like a crazy recorder cat lady,

but we're on that angle. I'll own it. I'll own it. So I can only play one song, the start of the Titanic theme song, and I can play about five notes. Okay. Everyone, get up. Get your cats ready.

I'm playing evidence. I can't even remember what hand I hold it in. Okay. Have the cats come? Have the cats come? Where are the cats? No, because I'm in the car. Oh, you're in the car.

Do you drive with a recorder, Tanya? You never know when you're going to need it. That's a fair question. I am a primary school teacher. I thought maybe you could have made with that. The greatest part was we were then flooded with DMs and texts of people going, oh, my God, even through the radio, my cat started acting weird. Going odd.

Going off, trying to get closer to the sound. Enya genuinely is the crazy recorder cat lady. But as we unravel that more, they don't learn the recorder anymore in school. That was the other funny part. She just kept the recorder. She just kept it. She had it whenever she needed it. And I reckon we reference Enya a couple of times a week and you play her.

Because I didn't realise that was actually from the scene of Titanic. Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Yeah, not the carriage scene, but the death scene. It was the death. It was when they were on the piece of wood.

Oh, Celine. Oh, she was fantastic. And you can see why she's on the short list for Call of Fame of the Year. Will she take it out tomorrow? Find out with us. Oh, it's just been wonderful. So we hear one more tomorrow. We hear one more tomorrow.

We'll do it during the show tomorrow. We make our final choice. At the end of it. This time tomorrow will be our call of fame of the year. But we've had unbelievable contributions just this very week alone in the dying hours of our year. This week has been fantastic. On Hit Breakfast. My God.

Look, we've got to get out of here. It's been a great show. If you missed any of it, grab it on the podcast. Listen to always extra bits on the pod too. Bit of fun. Oh, yes. Yes, a lot of fun. A lot of fun will be had on today's podcast, extra bits as well.

Tell you that much. Oh, yeah. Is that a guarantee? Oh, that is a guarantee. Shark, anything you want to add before we get out of here? Nope. Yeah, happy? Happy with how today's show went?

Yeah. Happy with your pump up for Maddie at 8am off box? Yeah. That was great. That was good. That'll be in the pod. Happy with how Babs went as quiz master for Wordyoke? Yeah, it was a tight race. Yeah. Well, you lost. By was great. That was good. That'll be in the pod. Happy with how Babs went as Quizmaster for Wordyoke? Yeah, it was a tight race.

Yeah. Well, you lost. By one point. It wasn't a tight race. Yeah, it was. Did you hear me? Shy Guy's still losing. We were all tight at the end.

That's a tight race. One of the great quotes. One of the great quotes. You got a pity point, mate. You're banned from Quizmaster next year. You can't ban her. I can. We've all got a point.

We've all got a point. Yeah, I know. No, you're not EPing. We've got a new one. Remember what's her name? That's right. Eat it. ban her. I can. I'm the EP. Yeah, I know. No, you're not EP. We've got a new one. Remember what's her name? That's right. Eat it. All right.

I'll do street painting. Our hamster correspondent. Our hamster correspondent. Imagine Shy Guy on the streets doing the street thing. I have done it. You've done every, you've worn every hat,

haven't you? It's fine. Everything is fine. Here's your can of Coke. Leave. It's actually good in the street car, but you have to do the speed limit and stuff.

All right, rev head. No, it's just annoying because you have to let... You know how he drives his Mazda 3? You know the rule, one for one? When you're in a street team car, it's like one for four. Yeah. What are you talking about? You're about to be merging.

You've got to let everyone in because you've got to look polite because you've got branding all over. That's right. You're a representative of the station. Yeah, mate. Some of them don't, though. Trust me. You're never going out on the street.

Oh, I'm too curious. What Shy Guy will be working on over our professional development is faster and more accurate Google searching. Because he came on this program and said hamsters and guinea pigs are the same. That's why Eden had to come on being like, You are wrong, sir. Wrong. Idiot.

Eden can take it out with a website. I got it right. What was it? Coops and Cages. Cages and Coops. Australia's leading cage and coop provider. We've had a poof to Coops and Cages. We've had a poof to Bunnings.

Yeah, good guys. Nah, Bunnings have, I mean, good guys have done nothing wrong. I was in the wrong. You did. You put the playlist on and went on to that. Come in and see the good cook. Hey, tomorrow's our last show of the year, team. Wow.

What a year it's been. What a year it's been. Babs is doing her, I've asked Babs to prepare a look back on the year monologue, and she's going to sort of perform it for us tomorrow. So will we have Shy Guy's- On your top three moments of the year, Babs. That's your homework. Will we have Shy Guy's diary for the week, but then Babs's year?

Yes. Oh! Shy Guy's got the week that was, and Babs's year that was. Love that. I love that. From Babs's eyes. Oh. That's nice.

And don't forget your Secret Santa presents tomorrow, even though you two already know what you got each other. You freaks. Babs knows, I was. Love that. I love that. From Babs' eyes. Oh. That's nice. And don't forget your Secret Santa presents tomorrow, even though you two already know what you got each other. You freaks. Babs knows I know. Great. And they are things we genuinely want. I've got to get out of here. I've got a big shift to pull with Dad on the deck.

We've got another eight hours ahead of us on our knees. Mate, now I'm getting sent long roller links. Like, go get this for Ducker. I went, no. We've come this far. He's come this far on his hands and knees. He can finish on his hands and knees. We're out of here.

With Daddy Ducco. Farewell. Goodbye. Bye. Wait, did you hear what I said? Shark Eye's still losing. Jess and Ducco! That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Gather your little helpers because the Elf on the Shell Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's.