Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Come on chunk up!

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Ducko drank way too much at the weekend and his wife gave zero sympathy, Producer Shy Guy tells us movie titles that have been changed around the world and we wanna know are you a nibbler?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trying the cafe's new blend today. Smoother, bolder, better. I'm loving it. Jess and Dago. This is the Jess and Dago podcast. Hi everyone, welcome to the podcast. Oh, what a Monday to see out June. It was a great one, wasn't it?

30 days has November, April has September. Do you start with November? 30 days has September, April, May and November. Oh, I think I start with, I guess they have the same amount of syllables, right? My brain is just logged November as the first. I go 30 days has September, April, May and November. Oh, I think I start with I guess they have the same amount of syllables, right? My brain is just logged November as the first. I go 30 days has September, April, May and November. All the rest have 31. Hang on a minute. You didn't say June. Yeah, I say June. No, June is in there. I think you do. 30 days has November, April, June and September.

April, June. You said May. There is a 31st of May. 30 days has November, April, June. You said May, there is a 31st of May. 30 days, has, November, April, June, and September. This whole time I've been singing the wrong song. The rhyme is half, not has as well. Half, Shakespeare. Thanks Shakespeare. Well, since we're getting it wrong. Okay, so what does the internet say?

30 days, hath, September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, except for February alone, which, anyway, it keeps coming. 30 days, hath, September days half September April June and November That's how I've always said. Oh, it was kind of right. I was just forgetting June Yeah, what are you? So I started with November but November September same amount of interesting. So I guess they're interchangeable something like that It's like the happy birthday song shouldn't we all just know it the same bro. Okay. I've got one for you. Mm-hmm Primary school not even toddler song.

Okay. About heads and shoulders and knees and toes. How does the tune go? Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, head, shoulders, knees and toes. I don't remember the rest, but yeah. Oh my God. Okay. That's different. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. I say it slower. Yeah.

Oh my God. Mine's head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, Eyes and ears and mouth and nose, But my mother-in-law, I overheard her singing to the baby and she's going, Oh I can't even get her tune, there's a whole other tune. It's funny, how did that get passed down? That's interesting. Yes, cause I was gonna bring you hers and my version

But you had another version Babs yours didn't sound familiar either. Maybe I was just messing it up because now I'm overthinking it It's hard now. I can't actually think what's right Shoulders knees and toes knees and toes Shoulders knees and toes. Yeah. I'm trying to think. What was yours? Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. That's probably closer to mine to be fair. That sounds like old Macdonald. Yeah, they all kind of sound like something. Oh my God, it's all blurring.

They all blend. All right. What do you call, we talked about it today, shaving it, Babs. What do you call the hair on your upper lip? The... Your mo. The... The... The... The... The... The... It's all blurring. Oh. They all blend. All right. What do you call, we talked about it today, shaving it, Babs.

What do you call the hair on your upper lip? The- Your mo. What the full word of that? Mustache. How do you pronounce it? Mustache. Mustache, yeah.

Yeah, mustache. Ah, mustache. You got must, mustache. I got mustache. You can go m-o-s-t-h-h, m-o-s-t-h-h. I had a friend moustache growing up. I was like, it's not M-O-O. Moustache. Camille. T moustache growing up. I was like, it's not M-double-O. Moustache.

Camille. Tash. What do I say? Mustache. Yeah, mustache. Mustache. Which is what I say. Oh my gosh.

Or did someone call it something else? I heard something funny about booger. Booger dry or booger. Something catcher? Yeah, booger catcher. I'm not her, I'm just trying to guess. Yeah, something funny. Damn, I can't remember.

There you go. Ned Flanders. Yeah. Yeah, the Ned Flanders. It's funny to think about. Remember when I had the moustache earlier this year? You were getting into chopper-y territory. Was this year?

I had it when Flo was born, April. Did you end up keeping it? You know what's disappointing is I kept it until she was born, got the photos with it, shaved it. Not one person except for Jess noticed. And Jess was like, you shave your moustache straight away, whereas everyone else is just like, hey, duck-er. Cause it's one thing, when you get a haircut, you don't mustache straight away, whereas everyone else is just like, hey, Ducko. I was like, huh. Cause it's one thing when you get a haircut, you don't really let your hair get too wild. Sometimes the sides get a bit long,

but they're not the most dramatic of cuts. The mustache was dramatic. The juxtapositioning. Totally. Everyone else just like didn't even notice. Cause you know, when I close my eyes and I picture Ducko, what I picture is the photo you showed me from your best mate's wedding,

where you're blue stealing, blue stealing, blue stealing the camera and the mustache. Oh, how good is it? It's so pornographic. It's sexy. That's in my mind's eye, how you're locked in my brain. Yeah, good. I like that. Prior to that, it was the time we ate those really spicy chicken wings and we ended up

having to chug milk and you had a milk mustache. That ruined me for the day. That was bad. Has anyone tried the mackers wings yet? No, I drove past them with Jethro the other day and I said, we should get some mackers wings soon and he said yes. And then we drove past mackers again. We should, I was like, no, we can't do it today.

Yeah. Honestly, do it. I'm really intrigued to see if you guys like them. I really want to get Lucia into the habit after swimming lessons, we have a treat. And it was popcorn, chicken and chips. Maybe we move. So has she had junk food? Like you've given her? So it's funny, I can justify anything except sugar. So we don't give her chocolate, except that warming chocolate that time. We don't give her lollies. Well lollies I think is a choking hazard at this stage.

Ice cream. But in terms of, no I'm not really giving her ice cream, we're going to Italy so her first ice cream experience will ruin her forever. But in terms of hot chips, oh her weight in hot chips. Yeah right. But I don't think, has she had markers yet? Just the chips. Okay so not like the burger. Not the burger yet. She's had a grilled burger. I don't see grilled as junk food. Neither do I, grilled is the healthier of the burger options. The books says the healthiest way to eat a burger. It's don't see grilled as junk food. Neither do I. Grilled is the healthier of the burger options. The book says the healthiest way to eat a burger. It's certainly the freshest of the burgers.

Totally. She'll eat like a bit of the bun, a bit of the burger. But chips, her weight in hot chips. Yeah, great. I love a hot chip. There's just nothing better than a hot chip. We went to a fancy French restaurant on Saturday night, which was an absolute debacle. I saw that with her. How was that with taking a shot? It was... Listen, the food was fantastic. Angus and I did not talk once. Because you're one of us was on her the whole time.

And then one of you is eating while one of you is on her. Yeah. And we both tried to not be on our phones. So I'd come back around and Angus is just sort of taking the arm beyond swirling his red wine. Cause you sort of feel guilty. Yeah. Oh, I get to sit and eat the food while it's hot while the other

one's climbing up the fricking stairs. But all she ate. I hope she knows she ruined that for you. Bro, all she, you know what? In the car home, I literally turned around in her car seat and I went, do you know how silly you are? We had the most decadent, beautiful meal. This artichoke bloody spaghetti, this gnocchi.

That's all I'm telling you things at this point, but the steak, beautiful starters and all she ate was the hot chips. And I went, sis, do you understand how silly you are missing out on the beautiful meals and only eating the hot chips? How could she? Wow. She did not understand what I was saying. What was your response Jess?

You have the pallet of like a... Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh! How's her speaking going? Oh great. When is she like normal? I think she's behind to be honest, but I refuse to compare her to anyone. I'm just going to get in my own spiral. Eventually she'll be able to speak.

Because she can say words. She absolutely can and her comprehension is there, but she doesn't articulate it. And I reckon I'm at fault because I just action what I know she needs. Whereas maybe if I forced it a bit longer, she would say water bottle or something. Every parent I say that to though goes, oh, don't say that because you'll just regret it when they don't shut up. I went, I can't even voice my concern because I just get shut down. So I'll deal with it. It's funny. I was talking to someone the other day, like, because Flo right now,

she can count to 10 in French, obviously. She's in French. She's in French. She's just going like, ah, ah. Like, but you raised this thing for so long and they can't speak to you for so long. And it's just like- Bro, even to a degree we were talking about you having to tire out the baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't do anything unless you hold her up to it. And even then you gotta still do, you still do the neck thing? She's still in the neck support. She's pretty good now, but she's in that stage where you hold her and she just flings her neck around,

and you're like, stop it! They genuinely can't do anything. So tiring them out is really challenging. Whereas I'm at a stage, at least I literally go to the park and I go again, again. And she's up and down, up and down. We do tummy time to tire her out. Whack her in her tummy and she hates, she just cries. I'm like, get up, sweetie, come on.

Isn't that... Up, up, up! Until you can get up, you're not getting up. I literally was about to say to you, do you want to go to like a trampoline park or do you want to do something? I went, no, his kid is so, doesn't feel that long in terms of you and I are the same age apart. Yeah, yeah. But at this stage, they're not doing the same activities. They're a blob. She's only three months nearly.

You could chuck Flo on a trampoline, it might not end well. Three months has flown though. Think about that. Three months ago, I didn't have the baby yet with doing all the lead up stuff to it. I know. Does it feel like now I've just had a kid for a while? Or is it, do you see me as a dad yet or you just don't? No, I personally don't.

Yeah, I've got a shock heart. Not in like a, not like in a bad way. You don't really talk about it very much. No. I don't see that. Well, you know, I'm allowed one story a week on air and even then it's retarded. This will get flagged as your one. So I'm sorry.

We've used it. In fact, I use my quota. Fuck. There it goes. No, no. Yeah. That's actually an interesting question. Yeah.

One of the greatest compliments someone gave me, I reckon Lucia was a bit older, maybe six or seven months. And someone said to me, I don't see you as a mom. You're just you, but you've got a kid now. And initially I was offended. I thought I was meant to be transformed. I thought I was meant to be this zen, amazing new version of myself.

And then when I sat with it longer, I thought, actually, that's a really huge compliment. That's what you want. So to you, I say the same. I see you as ducko, you've just got a kid now. Is that what you meant, Babs? That's what I mean, like you just still yourself. That's what I like. Just a little accessory yourself. That's what I like about you.

Just a little accessory now. Oh yeah, she's just there, part of things. It's basically a Tamagotchi. Yeah. Pop Choi listen to the rest are rubbish. Broadcasting live. Running and tuning out. All I want is to do is turn it up, turn it up. It's about to go off. Jess. Spit on your hand for God's sake.

Ducco. Chug on me. I'm a shy guy. Can you come help me find me a snake? Producer shy guy. Good girl. Daddy. Producer Babs.

Yeah, he just texted and said hot sausage. Geek shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducker. Go. Lights, camera, action. Heads up, tits up, let's go. Oh, okay. Heads up, tits up, let's go. Right on six o'clock. Well, that's education for me this morning, Ducker. I've never heard that saying. That's from a Peloton coach on Instagram. Okay. Did you get that in? We found that and added that in. Okay. Have you ever done a Peloton session?

No. Oh my God. I, um, Angus pulled out one of those rusty old stationary bikes during COVID. Yeah. I think it was his mum's from the eighties or something, but then I bought the Peloton subscription cause you can do it on any bike, but it's them and they are the most quintessential amped up classic cycle instructors like the 80s spin instructor. Out of the seat, let's go. Yes and because they can see if you've logged in for a

session and they do some live they're calling out people and they're referencing if it's your birthday or how many you've done and people riding. Well then when they killed Mr. Big in Sex and the City Peloton lost so much money so right today sue I don't know I'm trying to get retribution for that he had a preconceived heart condition I mean poor Peloton we have been on the air for less than 60 seconds and duck always referencing and just like that season one do not put this man in a box you know me well it was such a big news at the peloton absolutely It absolutely was. Because people are so, like, they believe anything.

They do, they do. So people saw that. You can't have bad negativity associated with your product. People saw that and then they were like, I'm not buying a Peloton. I'm not buying a Peloton, it's going to give me a heart attack like Mr. Big. I couldn't possibly. When really, they're the reason they killed off Mr. Big, because he was cancelled in real life.

I mean, people have got to look beyond the Hollywood facade. Yeah. What's really going on here? What's actually happening? Yeah it was all fake. Peloton didn't add making fun of the end just like that episode which featured Ryan Reynolds. Oh there you go. Then you try and kill Ryan Reynolds as well did they? No, no, no. No, no, okay. There you go. Well, fantastic. How are we all? How are our respective weekends? Oh nothing to report here, Ducko. Babs, anything to report?

No. Ducko, anything to report? No, I mean, I do, but I'll do it later in the show. Sure. We'll carve out some more time. Yeah, carve out some time. What about our big 30 year old here? You look so much older.

Thanks. I feel older. You've got an air of wisdom about you. You do, thanks. No, I had a good weekend. Good girl. Thank you to all the rice cookers who sent me a message too. It was very nice. Daddy. They found you on Instagram. Thank you to all the rice cookers who sent me a message too.

Very nice. Daddy. They found you on Instagram. They did. And the ones who already have me. Oh, I thought you didn't accept them. I thought you were very private for a reason. No, I reply but then put them back in the folder. What do you mean? What do you mean you put them back in the folder? Put them back in requests. Hang on, so you'll open the message from Sally. Say thanks. And then what? Unre... I don't even know how you do that.

Can they even message you if they're not friends with you? It's like blocking without blocking. I'm public, I'm not private. I thought you were private. Nah, he unpublished for his birthday to get all the messages. Because you're a unicorn, we've been told. That's right. Yes we have.

Not only did you get birthday requests, you're getting sexual requests as well. On the show account? That's what the unicorn- No, remember Jess sent a photo to her group. Is anyone reading what I'm putting in the group chat? This chick goes like, gee, Shy Guy- a unicorn is someone who sleeps with married couples. That's right. I didn't know that.

And they said Shy Guy should go find couples and be a unicorn. Yeah, I think she said, I know a couple. I know a couple, yeah, yeah, yeah. How many DMs we got, Ducko. A Babs and Shy Guy should go find couples and be a unicorn. Yeah, I think she said, I know a couple. I know a bit, yeah, yeah, yeah. How many DMs we got, Ducko. Are Babs and Shy Guy dating? That's interesting. Are Babs and Shy Guy dating? There was one photo.

Why don't we do a deep dive? I'll put the specific photo. Oh, okay. An eagle-eyed rice cooker who was not at our wedding of the baby's head. There is one photo that was on the Jess and Ducko story. Shy Guy is glancing over at Babs and someone has zoomed in and gone, look how he's looking at her.

And this photo has sparked- This is what must be like to be like Taylor Swift. Just for your life to be pulled apart. Cause they will respond to your stories when you're asking questions. Yeah, but that photo was on JD. And someone's come to me personally and gone Jess, tell us the truth because this photo, I'm seeing something in his eyes. So that's why we had to do more conversation around, no they're not together, Babs is in a relationship. I saw you did that on the

Friday. There were questions about her relationship. Yeah, well there's a lot, because of the bad stuff happening with not going to Europe. Yeah, not being invited to Europe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and not getting her own breakfast in bed. Can we have a momentary knowledge pass before the show said she had breakfast in bed, but she made it herself. And then went back in and had it. That doesn't count. I found something to put on the story. Can you call it breakfast in bed if you've had to haul your arse up? There's nothing sadder than that. I made myself breakfast in bed. I'm so chill. What did you think when she said she'd made herself breakfast in bed? What did you picture? I pictured just like lukewarm toast that had gone cold

by the time she walked it back. Yeah, yeah, in her bespoke mug that she made. Yeah, had avocado and toast in a coffee. Yeah, see, avocado toast doesn't travel well. You can't be walking that from the kitchen to your bedroom. Yeah, yeah, that's funny. Good on you though. If you want something done, do it yourself, Babs.

It's funny, cause Babs and Shaka don't give me like couple energy. They give me like weird sibling vibes. The rice cookers are seeing something we are not Dukkko but we put it to bed. Yeah okay good. Unlike these two with each other. We could not have an in-team relationship that would just cause drama. It didn't help when you asked our boss how he feels about in-office relationships and he says I'm all for it. That didn't help anything. No that wouldn't have have helped. Yeah, but Jase is just a shit-ster, so he loves it. Pour a bit of gasoline on the fire.

Loves the drama. But anyway, would that to bed? They are not together, but Shy Guy is open to being a unicorn. Oh, yeah. No, I didn't say that. So if we get this girl to message us who that couple is. Yeah, would you? I think that person is the couple.

She was basically saying if he's still single and he doesn't want anyone, why doesn't he go after couples? Why does he have two? Yeah. Go unicorn. Would you let them take you to dinner? Just hear them out. No.

Okay. Come on. It's a wasted exercise. And possibly then you over. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if they'll make him wear a horse. He's easy.

That's the unicorn. Oh yeah, it's a different kind of horse though. He's got that attached. Actually can I have that back? Yeah, I gave it to Babs. I keep telling you, all the gear you lent me last year, I've given to Babs. Well now she's had breakfast in bed with it. I don't want that. There's probably smears of avocado on it, Darko.

Make sure you wipe it down, Babs. Yeah, Babs. That's nice etiquette. Okay. Hey, big show team, Lady Gaga tickets up for grabs. That's our call of fame, Ducko. It's our cough this week. Yeah, it's our call of fame.

So last week we sent Reese to the state of origin. This week we're sending someone to Lady Gaga. Have we heard from Reese yet? Oh yeah, did he ever answer your phone calls? Yeah, did he ever get back to you, Babs? No. Oh, okay. Oh, chase it up today. Well, if he doesn't get back today, we're gonna give those origins tickets away. Did they go back in the pool? Yeah, I think so answer your phone calls? Did he ever get back to you babs? No. Oh, okay.

Chase it up today. Well if he doesn't get back today we're gonna give those origins a bit of a wait. Did they go back in the pool? Yeah I think so. I think so too. Yeah if you're not here redraw. Reece's sister DM'd to the story that we put Reece on our Instagram. Yeah.

And the sister said, oh I'm such an embarrassment as his sister. I went okay, we've got a connection to the family if need be. Okay. Next of kin. We've also got Alphabox, your chance at $10,000 coming up on the show at 6.30 and 8, but up next, we need to discuss Shaggy's party he had without us. That's right. There was a celebration to be had. Should we be talking over any of this? There's not enough songs. Yeah, it's alright. No, no, there's not, yeah, Cyril. There's not much songs. Cyril and Moonlight and the Lars. It's going to be over in 60 seconds. There she goes,

strapping. This is how, this is how we're starting to win. Jess and Dukko. Jess and Dukko. Text on 0488881069 if you actually like that song. I'm texting now. Please text us if you actually enjoy it. 0488881069. If you, if it's a yay or a nay, a spin or a bin, you know? I love spin or bin.

Spin or bin it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. because I don't know. It's just a duck who, if you know what I mean, it's past six. I've texted my feedback. You've all texted it? I can't just have you two texting. No, but I like it. No, no, spin baby, spin.

Oh, you like it? Have we met? Oh, rude that my name's not in the system, by the way. Neither. No, you're neither in there. But yeah, text it. But you are right, Ducker. I'm very intrigued.

We take this feedback very seriously. It's the same as Friday there. But yeah, text him. I'm very intrigued. But you are right, Ducko. We take this feedback very seriously. It's the same as Friday Bangers. You get to decide. Yeah. 0488881069. How do you feel? The Cyril and the Lars.

If the Lars are listening, they're going to be devastated. Yeah, they are. They're, they're, they're, time on the big. Big break. Big break. Yeah. Anyway, Ducko. Big, busy weekend for Shy Lord.

Absolutely. There was a 30th birthday celebrated, friends allegedly invited to a celebration. To a lunch. You and I were not a part of that friendship. No, and there was another lunch down the road from our house yesterday as well that we also weren't invited to. To be fair, I'll allow him to not invite us to lunch with his mum and uncle. That feels intimate, it's family, I get it. But there was a lunch to be had. With friends. You know what's funny? I was down the road from where you were at that lunch on the satellite as well, but having a very different experience. I didn't know you were that close.

Yeah, I was very close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, it was just a tight circle of friends. It was good. Just had lunch. It was nice. I don't know what. How many people did you have? Nine. Oh my god. Nine is not tight. Babs, does that feel't know what how many people do you have? nine My god nine is not like a bit of a party to you nine people does actually gathering Are you telling me you're the tenth it was nine friends plus you? Mine is just a weird If you had invited the three of us twelve twelve what a beautiful round number Yeah, six on either side of a long table. Share platters maybe.

We actually had a round table. Oh, round table. Old school wedding. Don't tell me you had a Lazy Susan. Did you have a Lazy Susan? What kind of cuisine was it? Half of it Asian. Lazy Susan's are only at Asian restaurants, right? I was going to say, I don't think I've seen one at a pub.

Who's to say another genre could have it? I love Lazy Susan. But I don't think I've seen one at a pub. Who's to say another genre could have it, but I've not actually seen it anywhere else. To be honest, I've not actually seen a pub have round tables. Yeah, neither have I. Every pub I've pictured has the dining booth. It's like an old school wedding venue. The reception centre.

That's loggyoggy man. That's how I had my communion. Yeah. Round tables. Yeah. No, it was good. Like we just- Are you making this up?

No, I'm serious. Nothing he says sounds true. None of it. Lazy Susan at a pub on a round table. That's not adding up. Nine friends. You don't have nine friends. Name them all.

Matt. Luke, Matt, Connor, Sammy, Rachel. Rachel. Mitchell, Grace, Sarah, Grace, Grace. Yeah. And that's what you, that's everyone. And that was it. Did they go, cause I know like Rachel, Grace, Connor, like they'd be like, where's the duck man and Jess? Yeah.

Where are those people you work with? Cause some of them listen to the show. Half of them do. Sarah, Connor, Luke, Sarah, Sarah. Connor would have loved us there. So the three people that Ducko just said happened to listen to the show, Half of them do. Sarah, Connor, Luke. Connor would have loved us there. So the three people that Ducco just said having to listen to the show, you actually nailed that. You are talking out your arse. No I'm not, I'm legit. You are making this up on the phone.

I'm not making this up. Where is the shock collar Ducco? Do you remember the shock collar we did a while ago to see if people were lying? Yeah that's what we should do. Get the lie detector Babs. Oh wait no, how did the shock collar work? We just hit it, didn't we? It wasn't something about your heart rate. If we refused to answer, it was like you get that. Oh, that's right. For some reason, I thought it was like...

Doctor, how much porn do you watch? I played the fifth, zap him, Jess. It was pretty much like that. That's pretty much how it went. Wait, did you do that? Yeah, that's exactly what... That's what our boss teed up as a question for me. And he's still got the shot collar in his drawer.

You're right, though. We were just... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It he's still got the shot collar in his drawer. You're right though, we were just... It wasn't a lie detector with the heart rate going. We got some great results on the Spinalobinit. That tune is absolute trash. Someone said yay, someone said I don't kind that song at all, quite catchy in my mind. Bin and then don't mind.

So it's really... We're split. We're split down the middle. We're split. So I think we leave that Numbers recognisable that Mitchell or grace I Did do something bad to show I guess birthday though on Saturday, which I want to get into and I know he's upset at me Yeah, I'm actually filthy. Yeah. Yeah. I know he is Tell you after after seven because There's yeah, it's a bit, it's a bit awkward.

Okay. Yes, I knew there was tension in the room today. I did not have my best performance on Saturday as a parent, as an adult. And this led to some other bad decisions that I may or may not have made. Did you crash his party? No, no, I didn't crash his party. party? No, no I didn't crash his party. I was close, but I didn't crash his party. Oh, okay.

But I know he's upset and Morgan said to me, Shia, I'm going to be annoyed at you after something that happened. I said, I think he might be. Well let's get it on the air. And based off that reaction, I think he is, but that's it going to happen after seven. Alright. Because I, yeah, I need to tell my story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well let's hear both sides of the story. I need to tell my story. I need to tell you why. Jess and Ducco. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's hear both sides of the story. I need to tell my story. I didn't tell you why. Jess and Ducco. I had an incident in a public bathroom. I was at a comedy club with my husband. Having a date night.

Go watch them open my comedy, Ducco. Always high risk. Where do you sit? Never be too close to the front. High risk. No, I'm an attention seeker. Love being at the front. I want to be asked what are you doing? What's your biggest fear? No we rolled in late so we had to sit towards the back but hadn't done one of these before. The guy sort of emceeing it, running it, also comedian, he was elite so it put me in a in good stead. I went this is gonna be fine. These are people learning their craft, honing their skills, it's going to be fine if he's leading the charge.

The first guy came out. Oh my God. He talked about, Oh, it wasn't funny. Oh man. And they only get five minute allotments, but his whole shtick was about if he was going to make love to a car, how would he do it? Is it Shy Guy? No.

And you might be thinking, oh, obviously exhaust pipe, but he started talking about the gear shift. Like it was a whole. How would you do it, Shia Gaia? Not by sitting on the gear shift. Good idea. Cause that got zero laughs. So he's thought about it. He thought about it.

But anyway, at least 12 stand ups. So this is, oh, so 12 people, you don't know what they're going to be like. You don't know what they're going to be like. And to be honest, this first bloke, when he starts doing the banging the car gear, I heard a bell go and I went, oh, he's been warned. Like he got no laugh. He's been warned. And then the bell went again.

He went, oh, that's my time. I went, ah, ah, they're just saying that's your five minutes, bros. Yeah. I thought he was getting shunned. See you later. See you later. Yeah, no one laughs. That's one warning.

I know. Then you think, oh, should we leave? It's free. It's not like we're wasting any money. Problem is then the crowd then starts to think everyone's going to be bad. What a tough job for the second bloke, but he saved it. He turned it around. And to be honest, everyone was really good after that. But 12, so you've got six and then an interval and then six. So at interval, obviously everyone's had a bit to drink. The bars are open naturally, whether it's at a Broadway show, a concert, comedy club, same thing. We're all human straight to the bathroom.

Because we were sitting close to the back, I was pretty much first out the door. And I've just seen a sign, unisex. I went easy peasy. Have walked in and did notice a urinal. I went, oh, you don't often see, you know, 20, 25 unisex bathrooms in restaurants or easy peasy, have walked in and did notice a urinal. I went, oh, you don't often see, you know, 2025 unisex bathrooms in restaurants or whatever. Usually it's all cubicles, right? You don't often see the urinal.

Yeah, yeah, because then you could walk in and someone could be doing a pee at the urinal and you could go into the cubicle. Having their, yeah, totally. You should have done the urinal. Well, I didn't, because I thought there's gonna be, there's gonna be people coming after me, whatever. But as I'm in the cubicle doing my business, I hear the cue start to form.

There was only one cubicle, one urinal, right? So it's small for the number of people who obviously started lining up and I'm hearing the voices and they're clearly all men. And my brain started going, wait, I swear that said unisex, but there was a urinal. Are all the blokes just coming to this one? Do my business. I want to put it on the record. It was just a number one. I'd only had two white wines.

It was just a number one. But as I've gotten up to flush, big old skid mark in the bowl. Like someone who left it there prior. Left it there prior. Left it there prior. Oh no. And now my whiz was obviously not enough to burn it off. And there's no toilet brush on those things. To gurney it off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't have a doodle to aim it at. Thank you. You can't rinse it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we can aim. And you know, dim lighting and all that. So I just didn't clock it to start.

Was anyone waiting for the toilet after you? That's what I'm saying. All these voices. I'm going, I think these blokes. I'm not just waiting for the urinal, I'm waiting for the toilet. Well possibly. If I open up the cubicle, it's stand to reason, I'll just go to that one. So I'm thinking... That is nightmare fuel right there.

This is... They're gonna think it was me. Not only have I possibly walked into the wrong... Cause I'm not hearing any women. There must have been a women's only. And then a unisex. So I had to make a decision in that moment. Okay. What do you do because to scrub a toilet in a comedy club, did they have a scrub? And now you just got toilet paper and wipe someone else's.

Yeah. So yeah, the risk, because I didn't want these strangers to think I'm mine and gone. You went hand deep in the bowl. You come out and go, someone left that in there, that's not mine. You would believe that, Duffo. But at the same time, it doesn't matter. We're at a comedy club, I don't care about these people, they don't know me. I know, but I was having such a good time and you know me, I latch onto things.

I'd already said, Dangus, we're coming back. Besides that first guy, this has been so fun. I thought we're going to be regulars here at the comedy club. It's going to be our regular haunts. And there you are just staining the bowl. Exactly. So I had to remove. So what technique did you do?

So I've gotten a lot, which then also as a fellow human being, if someone does need to do a poo, I've used so much TP. So you got it wrapped around your hand. Well, not wrap, I scrunched and held it almost like a wad and got in there and had to, had to jimmy it off. Didn't take you a bit of like, eee. Take albergue? Yeah, yeah.

A little bit of albergue. It's not like I had duck or de mestance. No. Probably. And so then. It could have been there for 24 hours. Cause it's not like there was a matinee at the comedy club. What colour were you talking?

How dark? It wasn't healthy, Ducker. It wasn't healthy. Oh, yuck. Some guy before you just got to the comedy club and punched it out. Done an absolute deuce, hasn't cleaned it himself. So then I start getting in my own head about how long have I been in here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what? I've already flushed. So now it sounds weird.

And guys don't take us all. I'm like, what's going on in there? What's going on? And as I walked out, Ducker, it was that classic thing. Everyone just went silent. Oh yeah, like, are they meant to be here? You meant to be here? They all, I think, kindly went, oh, are we in the wrong spot?

Yeah, you totally. No, no, there's a urinal there. They're a weird thing to get your head around when you, when we're just societally not used to them yet. Absolutely. And I appreciate putting the seat down. Maybe that's a rule your mum or your wife has enforced. Not a lot of people have that when they're out and about.

So the number of unisex bathrooms I've walked into in a restaurant, you walk in after a bloke, seat's up, piss all over the place. You go, thanks so much champion, we're living in a society. So me going above and beyond, scrubbing someone else's poo off the toilet. Because I didn't want the judgment from these other comedy clubgoers. Anyway, they all went silent and I went, whoops, am I in the men's? And someone said, no, no, it's unisex. Like a very kind young man.

And then you walk out and you hear. But then I walked out and I realized I hadn't washed my hands. To walk back. No! That's the one time you really needed to wash your hands. No, I know, I know. So I walked back past them and I went, just gotta wash my hands, fellas. Because I definitely didn't back one out in there.

And then I walked past. I would rather you back one out and leave a skid mark and clean someone else's skid mark and not wash your hands. So I haven't even told Angus that because you know he's a bit of a gem. But then I walked past all the women lining up for the women's. I went, no, I walk. Jess comes in, so what's the deal with UNICEF's plants?

But I'm a five minutes. Tick it up, let it out, time to get up. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Marks on Hit. Alpha Bugs. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Hats off to you, first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, say pass, we will come back if there is time.

We know we're playing for $10,000. Jeez, we got close the end of last week. Oh my god, there were eights and nines coming up to wazoo. Yeah, yeah, we were wazooing the nines. We were wazooing the nines. We were wazooing the nines. Unfortunately though nine doesn't get you ten thousand dollars Ducker. It doesn't. Ten. Yeah nine is you may as well have got one. It doesn't matter. It's the same. You give the supplementary price to people who get zero. The same price to people who get nine. Today that

person the choice is yours Scott. Good morning. Morning you going? Scott, we couldn't be better. Are you going to execute? Are you going to be our first 10 in a while? Yeah, I'm going to get all 10. Yes! I love the confidence. Me too, when people go, oh, I hope so. The time for hoping is over.

Yeah, yeah, that's so true. You're on the phone. Yeah. Now is the time for action. Oh my God, I can save you now, Scott. Scott, what do you want to spend $10,000 on? Oh, I'd love to go to Tokyo at the end of the year. Hell yeah. Isn't Japan the hot ticket? It's really one of the best countries to go to,

it's a lot of fun. Oh well you're gonna love this Scott. Your letter's R for ramen. Ramen. Excellent. He was just cycling through the other R words he knows. You ready to rock Scott? I am. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R, we need you to name an animal. A rhino. An appliance. A roasting oven.

A three-letter word. Ray? A country. Um...Romania. An athlete. Uh...Roman Reins. A fruit. Um...Roc Melon.

A TV show. Um...R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R Don't know pass. A car brand? No, Ria. You've got me putting question marks over all my sheets there. Some of the great responses. Some excellent responses. Look, I had five. An appliance roasting oven. Do we hear you? I think it's an oven. I don't know if you can allow that yet. What's the difference between a baking oven? Yeah, yeah. An athlete. athlete Roman who'd you say Roman Roman Reigns I think he's a wrestler actually that's a great wrestler if you did if he is a professional American wrestler there you go okay so you guys have five TV show you miss could have been Real Housewives of Rick and Morty a car brand could have been a Renault or Rick and Morty a car brand could have been

Rennow or Rolls Royce everything else he answered look mate you didn't get the cash Creative answers lots of fun, and you don't walk away empty-handed you get $100 You'll love this to spend online at candle exchange. Oh excellent Hey, you can hold your head up high though. You've just given me my new crush Roman Reigns Gorgeous he's giving Jason my mother Hawaiian vibe, doesn't he? He does. Yeah, yeah. He must be a former NFL player.

Yes, yes. Thank you, Scott. No, too easy. We learn every day, Scott. We do. We always take something out of this game. Yes, we do. Thanks for playing, Scotty.

Too easy. We play again, eight o'clock, $10,000 up next though, Jess. Babs' people. I don't know, what have they done now? I can't keep up with them. I know. I can't keep up. I know.

There's an etiquette coach being employed by companies. Oh my God. For offices. Oh Jesus, get it together, Gen Z. Jess and Ducco. We need to discuss now, Gen Z is in the office place, in the workplace, because you know, there's that big generational divide seems to have come really

like into fruition a lot in the last year or so. I agree. And I think we are still blaming COVID and I don't think we can discount how much it warped the youth because they turned 18, pivotal time, locked away in their home. So they just didn't have the same exposure to the real world. That uni days, they need to go out and party and do stuff. Absolutely.

Make mistakes, man. Make mistakes. Babs hasn't made enough mistakes. That's what it is. Babs, we need to go and make some mistakes. You can't become St. Mary without being exposed to the world. And unfortunately, you know, the period of 2020 to 2023 ripped that away from the use. See you later. See you later. We were talking last week on the show about how they do that, the stare when you go into like a

retail store. The Gen Z gaze. The gaze and they don't actually go, hey, how are you? What would you like? And they just stare at you. Which is funny to think that maybe millennial managers are trying to train that, but it's so anti who they are. They just don't even greet you anymore. Can I help you with sizing none of that? Don't do anything. Well, now apparently they're employing, they're getting themselves adequate coaches. Talk to me. To be trained how to deal with people?

Yes, yeah, yeah. I'm coughing up an absolute lung up over here. That's alright, he was doing it off mic. I was patting, we could have gone away with that. Yeah, I did, I come out, yeah. It was really in my throat and I was trying to get through it and I was doing it off Mike. I was padding, we could have gone away with that. Sorry on that. Yeah, yeah, I did. I come out, yeah. It was really in my throat and I was trying to get through it and I was like, anyway, they're employing etiquette coaches, mainly for tech companies, but a lot of places in the States are doing this.

Apparently houses etiquette coaches have come out and said our inquiries have risen by 50%. 50%. Does that mean they've only started now? To be fair, if you only had two inquiries to begin with, you just need one more to have been risen by 50%. I'm doubled. Mainly tech campuses, country clubs, places like that where you need lots of etiquette and stuff like that. Isn't it funny, tech though?

I don't think they dealt with human beings. Yeah, I need to lie. Oh, but maybe on the phones, talking people through problems. Well, this is saying Gen Z employees are treating offices like an extension of their homes. So it's everything from how to make eye contact with fellow employees, where to stick your name tag if you need one. Apparently it's always on the right.

Didn't know that. I didn't know that was a rule you're educating me now, etiquette coach. Not above your heart. So it's always on your right. So it's why, I don't know, why is that a thing? It's like I've walked around with it on my forehead. Who's to say that's wrong? Thank you.

Here Shagga puts his on his belly button. I like it right where it is in the middle. You know why? All that's on the desk are on the right side, I think. Cause he tries to draw his, your gaze down. Oh yeah. That's why he likes to have it low around the belt. Is the right more polite?

Anyway. And also how to ask for things and not demand things. Oh, so just classic please and thank yous. Please and thank you. And then a big one, personal hygiene. Supposedly a lot of that's in the tech world. I mean, that's the Gen Gen Z's who are working in tech have not showered.

Babs is out there sniffing herself. You're fine. An extension of who they are at home into the workplace, unpicturing, Odie's in the workplace, Uggs in the workplace, not doing any sort of hygiene or maintenance. So apparently older bosses or people in the workplace saying that they go into parenting mode with Gen Z's.

But they feel like that they've gotta speak to them like a parent to a child, and it feels really weird and there's this disconnect. I had a boss once pull me aside, Ducco. I am, I guess, Gen X. I'm not a Z, but the generational divide we talk of. Yeah. A boom, a boss pull me aside being like, you're dressed too casually for an office job. And it did feel very like my dad telling me off.

I was wearing pants and a t-shirt and he was like, remember what you wore in the interview? I had stolen- We want interview jets. Yeah, he's like, you know what I'd worn in the interview? I'd stolen one of my mum's skirt blazer congos. I'm wearing my mum's clothes, but yes, it feels very parenting when a boss has to do that. They've been saying in meeting, meeting behaviour, 70% of them just observe, 25% asking, clarifying questions, only 5% usually contributing ideas in meetings. Oh, come on.

So they're just sort of sitting there being like, boy, what have we done yet? You know what they're probably doing? Slightly trying to film to get their boss in a gotcha moment so they can go viral on TikTok and quit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly. As if their minds are actually in the meeting. Their cameras are always there, their arms are folded and they're just looking. 100%! Yeah. Absolutely. That's very true

would you say Babs, any of your friends would do this sort of stuff like this this kind of behaviour this silliness hygiene into not making eye contact probably not my friends but I know people that would okay Babs only deals with you know well put together people well Babs isn't like this Babs doesn't do any of this that's true she doesn't need an etiquette coach no she doesn't she's good I mean sometimes when we speak on air she just speaks out there not coming on air knowing that we're on radio. That's a radio coach, so not an etiquette coach. Guys, we've cracked open a fresh can of New Week. Oh, tastes good. What's that taste like today, Show Guy? Tastes like raisin toast.

That's because you're eating it on air again. Does it taste like your very own personal supply? Of raisin toast. Oh, that's because you're eating it on air again. Does it taste like your very own personal supply? Of raisin toast. You three are all guilty for eating on air at some stage. Hey man, I've never denied it. No, Jess is, yeah. I've been working on it though, like the past couple of weeks. You've been better. Babs is bad at it.

Shaggy, I know you've just jumped into the party. It's the toast thing. I thought I could fit that in. I didn't realise Sabot Catter only had 20 seconds. Yeah, you didn't know I chucked to you really. But you also knew that you are, you're on deck for this one. So you should have absolutely been, which made me a bit nervous when he wasn't in

or outside the studio just before, I went, ooh, is Shy Guy all good to go here? This came off the back of a chat we're having last week about movie titles that are different around the world. That's right, for some reason, I brought up the Sandlot Kids and wanted to share with you. I had to do a quick Google. I wanted to confirm it was the early 90s, it was 93.

In America though, it's called the Sandlot. In Australia, the Sandlot Kids. And it got us thinking about different movies that have been branded differently. I believe Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in Azerbaijan was High Precipitation with a Chance of Dumplings. I'm pretty sure. One of my favourite examples. One of the greatest.

And you're also a preacher because I sort of went, hang on, but if that's what the producer, writer, director has named the movie or the book, I guess it can happen across books. You mentioned Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in the States is known as the Sorcerer's Stone. What do you mean? Why do they do that? But I guess some things don't hold any weight in certain cultures. So Shy Guy's done some bloody homework. I've done some international IMDB searching. Great. Here we go. What else have you got for us? So first of all, I just want to tell you why they might be changed country to country.

It could be because of cultural sensitivity. Yes. It could also be because of trademark issues in various countries. Oh, so that's been used already in Italy? An Australian country might own the phrase or the word title of the movie. So that's why they'd have to change it. Oh, okay. They want to make money off it for marketing reasons.

And then just like local relevance as well. So that's like the McDonald's menu. You know, in McDonald's, you don't get the Big Mac, you get the Big Maharaja. That's right. Same thing. So, that's right. The McMaharaja. It's a tongue twister.

So we'll start withaja. That's right. The Mukh Maharaja. It's a tongue twister. I've been getting that. Mukh Maharaja. So we'll start with the hangover. Yeah. In France, that was changed to a very bad trip. Oh, that's not as good. What, do you mean translated? Or genuinely that's... That's what the movie title is.

A very bad trip. That does not have the same... The hangover. French people never get hungover, that's why. Ah, they couldn't relate. They can't relate. Oh, that's why, because they're drinking bordeaux out of the womb. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they don't know what I'm talking about. They're a steady level of buzz. And then in the UK and Ireland, Zootopia. Yeah. Oh, one of my favorites. Zootropolis. I don't mind that. Zootropolis. But see, these are the ones where I go, why though?

Yeah. Disney ran into legal trouble with this one. The word Zootopia had issues. Our local zoo had Zootopia. Oh, the zoo had the trademark. That's funny. Okay. In Italy, Moana was changed to Oceana. Why?

Because Moana is the name of a famous porn star in Italy. How famous must a porn star be if everyone to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, how dare you? She's got dibs on Moana, but also I get it, Duffo. At Disney you want to be associated with the same name. Evidently. I believe it's a nationale tesoro. Always the old Italian men drinking picklers, Moana, Moana, I grew up with a Moana. Disney didn't want to deal with all these old men going to the cinema, buying their

ticket to Moana and they're going, what is this crap? Cartoon children's film. I thought I was going to be old school cinemas. What is this? Is that the rock? Can you imagine the back? Let me see, you see, you're welcome. Hang on a minute, I wanted to see some boobies.

So in Israel, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs turned into It's Raining Falafel. Okay. Raining Falafel, yes. There you go. In, there's a lot of changes for Friends. God, they're a difficult people. They are a difficult nation. They're always against the grain just because. The movie Knocked Up.

Yeah. With Catherine Heidel and Seth Rogen? It was changed to Slightly Pregnant. Either are you or not. You can't be slightly. As someone who was most recently in the pregnancy phase, I go, you're slightly pregnant. Slightly pregnant, I don't know. In Russia, Home Alone was turned into Mom, I Missed the Plane.

That kind of ruins the movie, doesn't it? No, but also that puts victim blaming Russia. That infers Kevin missed the plane. That kind of ruins the movie, doesn't it? No, but also that puts victim blaming Russia. That infers Kevin missed the plane. He was left behind. His parents definitely left him behind. He was left up in the attic. That's not Kevin's fault. That's the mum's fault. In Germany, Frozen was renamed the Ice Queen. Yeah, okay. That's interchangeable. And the final one on the list is Step Up was changed to Sexy Dance. Where's that in? In France. step up was changed to sexy dance.

Where's that in? In France. Jess and Ducco. Okay, so let's cut straight to it. Friday night, I caught up with some friends at my famous, favourite Irish pub and I had way too many Guinness. Okay. I think as you were leaving Friday after the show, you said, I'm off to the pub.

Like it was an early start. We started at three, we had a 5.30 dinner booking. Where we went wrong is we got to the pub at three, we got so excited. We had like six pints of Guinness pre-dinner, went to a dinner, had red wine. It was just the boys. So it was me and another mate of mine who's also got a new baby. So it was double wetting the baby's head. Plus two other friends who, you know, they just love to wet their head anyway.

Mate, the boys are wrong. We were. And the boys lied about. Yeah. We, we, we had this in our calendars. Like we'd put this in our calendars, like we'd put this in our calendars for like a month and a half. Is this a group that's hard to align your schedule? Yeah, yeah. We'd lock this in. Yes. Now my only commitments, I had nothing that night, Morgan

was fine. This is the first time I'd really been on the source since having Flo, like a proper, you know, and she's like, just remember, you've got a baby shower on the Saturday that we had to go to, which was an hour drive away. I know you're a live in the moment guy, but you know, I love that Morgan's going, Hey, you got to wake up the next day. There's weekend to be had plans to be fulfilled. I need you to be an adult and a parent with me the next day. And I said, yeah, we're all good.

Don't worry about it. That's why we're starting at three. Start early, finish early. That's the plan. That's wonderful. The issue was the points pre-dinner went to dinner, got on the Reds, finished dinner, went back and got on the pints of Guinness again. Did you go back to the Irish pub?

Yeah, went back to the Irish pub. Now I've never heard that. Where you started pre's is where you end up for your after party. No good. And I feel sick even talking about it. All of a sudden, cut to it's like 10.30, 11, I'm getting messages from Morgan like, where are you? Hurry up. And I'm like, oh, we're just sitting around a table solving the world's problems. I'm pretty sure we were going into depth about the Origin 3 game, the analysis of the teams. Just the boys catching up. Blowing off some steam catching up over how are you going? How's work? Who cares? What about the Origin? How many million dollar business ideas did you come up with as well? Well I'm starting a podcast with all of them.

Anyway, right, I then finish, get home, I'm not well, understandably, and I haven't been drinking a lot lately because obviously I knew Dad and whatever. I was the most hungover I have been in years on the Saturday. Like I'm talking, I woke up sick and I never recovered. Did you do a little cheeky spew? I did four cheeky spews. Are you joking? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because the duck man can hold his liquor. I mean, just once again, Guinness and red wine. I'm getting old. How's that bio age looking today? It was my first hangover properly with a daughter. You know when your husband came in and peed in the bedroom? That's right, on the floor. On the floor.

Because he thought he was in front of a toilet, wasn't he? I wake up and Morgan's like, I need to go to the shops to get them a baby shower present. You need to take care of Flo. I have no sympathy for you. You've done this to yourself. You needed to be a dad today and you're an idiot. Absolutely. I'm walking Flo up and down the hallway trying to get her to sleep, holding onto vomit. And then, you know, when you've got a child and you realize that and you're like, I was so angry at myself. Yes. And so then...

Last night, duckos, looking at this morning ducko. Oh my god. I was so off myself. And then Morgan gets home. I literally give her Flo while Flo's asleep, wakes her up. I run to the bathroom, yacking. Did you just have a mouthful of vom that whole time? I can't expose my child to this.

I'm going to have to hold it in here. It was one of those I'm'm never drinking again, hangovers. And I'd seen, we then had to go to a baby shower, right? So this took me till midday. I'm still vomiting. Morty goes, we're leaving in 10 minutes. On my head's over a bowl. Once again, she's like, I don't care.

Like pull yourself together. Like you did this to yourself. So I just had to, you know, I made my bed. I had to sleep in it. Absolutely. The other issue was on Saturday, it was Shy Guy's birthday. Now we'd had a big birthday celebration for him on air on the Friday. I saw on, so I wasn't on my phone much, but I saw on social media that I needed, that it was his birthday. And I was like,

oh yeah, I'm gonna say Shy Guy, obviously. I then went and vomited. I had forgotten about that. I then was in and out of throwing up, trying to get my child to this baby shower, trying, my wife was off me, my daughter was off me, my family was off me, I was off me, went to this baby shower, I had to then show up to the baby shower and like, how's things going? I had to pretend I was a responsible human being. You know what I mean? I completely forgot to message Aga for his birthday. Yeah. I did not send him a birthday text. Did you think Friday would be enough? No, I had full intention of sending it I just sound like you've had full intention. I feel like they would have been execution. Trust me the mental state

I was in I was very fragile. I had a scheduler text last week I know but I didn't know once again guys. I didn't know I was gonna blow myself up this much Okay, I don't know the boys of me were gonna be wet in the head that much of all the people in your life Okay, I'm gonna say Morgan your daughter Me shy guy and Babs.s. Who are you seeing more? Who are you interacting with more? He's in your, your parents don't live close, you're in-laws, siblings. So we get through all that day. I didn't message him on the Saturday, wake up on the Sunday, doesn't commute. All of a sudden I'm looking for, I'm waiting for Shy Guy's show email

so we can start doing our work. And I go, geez, he hasn't sent it yet. Shy Guy's birthday was yesterday. I didn't text him. I said to Morgan, I haven't texted him. So I sent him a text. He took like an hour and a half to reply. And she goes, she goes, is he off you? I go, he'll be off me.

Like I know Shy Lord, he'll act like he's not, but he's going so hurt that I haven't met that he's man the duck man He's not in his top nine friends, but I know I'm number ten you are you'd be well I mean you've absolutely been you sir because I'm pretty sure I texted about five past five sure I got I think I woke up And your husband texted very nice. Oh Angus text stuff you and you know what did Babs? I didn't even remind Angus. Oh hang on hang on did Babs not text Bab Babs texted but she asked for tickets to a gig. You asked for them first? Did you forget? What was the order?

Babs replied to a message I sent a couple days earlier about wanting some tickets to a gig. The day before your birthday. Whatever, doesn't matter. And then she followed it up with a oh by the way happy birthday. Oh that's just as bad if not worse. No that was the day before, it wasn't the same day. Well yeah that was the day I received it.

So me and Babs both forgot your birthday and she wasn't even hungover. She was making Brecky and Beth. worse! No, that was the day before. It wasn't the same day. That was the day I received it. So me and Babs both forgot your birthday and she wasn't even hungover. She was making brekking in bed. I didn't forget. I sent him a message. I got it on the sun. Well, it would appear the sentiment did not cut through. So I wanted to apologise. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to you, I'm sorry to my daughter,

I'm sorry to my wife. I've let everyone down. What about to yourself? We need to have a look in the mirror. You've let yourself down here. Oh, it was wife. I've let everyone down. What about to yourself? We need to have a look in the mirror. You've let yourself down here. Oh, I was bad. I know. Has your mum heard this? No, no. Cause she will be off. Oh no. It was...

I was one more day away from rubbing in Kate. I know. Quickly to make amends. We've got to fix him up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. We've got you a gift. Another gift? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is a squatty potty! Yay! Always forgiven! Thank you! Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Right now, Ducco. Mm?

A woman on the internet is trying to do a bit of a public service. I think for the collective womanhood out there, but for the dudes as well. Oh yeah? She's asked on Reddit, Yeah? Women! What are some things dudes just aren't ready to hear about women? What do you want?

And women have responded, Ducko. Now you grew up with two sisters and a very open mum. I'm sure she educat- open feels weird. I meant like, um, good communication. Mum. I don't think there would have been any, uh, bars held in your household, but I wonder if you're going to learn something here too. Okay.

Shy guy, listen up. Listening. Yeah. It's for the dirt. If you don't do your share of the chores, writes one contributor, in our minds, you become just another child to care for and we're going to lose attraction and desire. Oh God.

You know that joke. It's sort of like, Oh, you've got two kids. No, I've got three, the husband. This woman is saying yes. Cause in our minds we go, Oh, I just need to take care of you too. Yeah. So we stopped seeing you as the partner on equal footing. I learned. Oh yeah. Rule I learned from a very young age. Got to do the of you too. Yeah. So we stopped seeing you as the partner on equal footing. I'll learn.

Yeah. Rule I learned from a very young age. Got to do the dishes to do the deed. You know, I love that. Yeah. That's actually good. Why don't you translate it for the dudes? Yeah.

Cause this is obviously women speaking women. I see. You need to translate it for the dudes. Yeah. How's this one? Period poos. Whoa. Periods give a lot of women wild indigestion, writes this contributor,

and there's no experience quite like having three liquids coming from your body at the same time. Wow. Sorry. You call that a period poos? Well I'm so confused, what do we need to know about this? That it can happen. It's an FYI. It is a thing and I remember reading or hearing it articulated because of the hormones going through your body around that time of the month, the shedding of the lining, obviously that's what's happening when you're, when you're, you know, that time of the month that also cause a lot more to be happening at the back end as well. So just being aware, just being aware.

So have extra fragrances in the toilet for that little week. That's a good translate. Yeah. I don't know if this is a secret, but women, one particular woman wants you to know. Bras suck more specifically need men to appreciate our underwear. Isn't as comfortable as yours. So have a little bit of, you know, conscientiousness. We wear 50% less.

Is this, yeah. Is this so women don't wear bras now? Or is that, is it? Well, you know, I've been, I, we wear 50% less. Is this, yeah, is this so women don't wear bras now? Or is that, is it? Well, you know, I've burnt the bra. I've given up on the bra. I'll wear a crop top if need be. But other than that, we just want you to know. You get the high beams out every now and then.

Even though it's chilly. Whatever, it's another accessory. How's this one? Guys who are well endowed, you can be proud. Well, that's a few, Shargey, not me. But just be aware that will require some more pre-stuff, you know? Just be conscientious. What do you mean pre-stuff?

What does that mean? Fun times. Fun times. That's not where I saw any of this going. No, neither. I thought you meant like don't wear grey track pants or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say please and thank you.

Well, communication is a must. Yeah. All right. Let's just be talking a bit more. Yeah. This is what this woman wants you to know. Mm-hmm. And this is one more for you.

Any of these you didn't know, Ducco? The period poo seems to have got you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. One more for you. I don't know if that's helped me at all, but you know, it's good to know. It's good to know that I know now. It's good to know.

We have a lot more body hair than some men seem to think we do. Is that because you guys laser it typically? Well, I think she's just talking about, I guess you're thinking maybe pities or legs. She goes, in addition to shaving our legs, a lot of us are also shaving our toes. Oh. Hang on, I've got a question. Did you know that? Do ladies ever shave their face?

You know how some ladies have a bit of a beard? Yeah, you can get little facial hairs. Just did, just had to. I still do. Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't. Like with like a Gillette razor? You shouldn't.

But yeah, sometimes we go in there, do you have to shave your toes? Yeah, I still do. I've had the laser, it didn't work on me big time. Because you've got that Italian heritage, you know? Exactly, it didn't work on my big toe. Because you've got that Italian heritage you know. Exactly, it just pops through. They do say... There's Jess's toe hair. It was on the bum!

It is, blessed be the toe. Babs plucks her face with tweezers. Yeah see Babs, has Jethro, your boyfriend, ever walked in on you doing that? Because Angus walked in on me once, shaving my mustache. And I've got to tell you, the light went out behind his eyes. He was like, hot man. It'll be quite the sight to walk in. You'd almost rather him walk in on anything else.

Yeah, I know. Toes is one thing, but actually dragging that razor up. Yeah, yeah. It's not cute. Not sexy. But see, a lot of my friends bleach their mustaches. I'm like, sis, you can still see it. You can still see it. Yeah, when the light shines on it. Thank you. But also, if you want to embrace it, embrace it, body hair, whatever. But bleaching, I personally don't feel like there's any point to it. No, I agree. Also having bleach right there, god, that would sting the nostrils. It's a weird thing to do.

It's close to your mouth. Yeah, just shave it. Just shave it, wax it. I get mine waxed. Yeah. You get yours waxed. It hurts. Good to know. Absolutely.

But there you go. So you do massive number twos when it's that time, and you have hairy toes. That's right. And we hate our undies. Jess and Zucco. Shy Guy has put himself in the Gladiator arena. We're in the Colosseum. Welcome to the pit, baby. Does that mean Babs is Joaquin Phoenix slash Julius Caesar?

She's gonna do a thumbs up, thumbs down. Yep. I know Ducco loves Gladiator. that's why he'd be meesting me. I could get away with that one. Yeah, it's a gladiator. Everyone's seen gladiator. I get it, but I don't think it was a good reference. Oh, okay.

But we're sorry. You're calling yourself then. Yeah. Quizmaster. Quizmaster. All that's worth one. Alright, so you're gonna give us something, we've got a bit on it. What do you got for us?

Alright, dairy products. This is my specialty, guys. Six ten you come to ten hot damn. Yeah merits you get 20 seconds and 11 I'm out of here. I want to leave you two to fight for this Dairy products. Yeah Just goes back to it. Wait a minute. We're doing I think I could do more than Eleven Come on, okay 11? You see her mate, come on! Okay 12. I'd like to see that. Let's clarify for the rice cookers, to steal a point we would have to rattle something off. He hasn't said.

Yeah. Let's see if he can do 12. Milk, skim milk, soy milk. Wrong soy milk doesn't have it. Oh damn. Cheese? Yeah. Can I name cheeses? I guess. Uh, Montego, Brie, Gouda, Dumb. That's six. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. It's harder than it looks this game, isn't it? Yogurt.

One of the big hitters, yogurt. It's such a hard game. I got fixed on cheeses. Yeah, where your brain goes, you get stuck down that. Yeah, yeah. All right. All right, Jessi on the board. Damn.

Welcome to it. This is hard. Next category is on the board. Welcome to it. Yeah. This is hard. Next category is Australian music artists. Oh. 12. Oh, 13. 14.

Jess hasn't even bid yet. That's rude. Yeah, yeah, let her bid. 14. You got your paddle. You got 14. I will, I wanna stay in the game. Okay.

20 seconds, go for it. Oh damn, I thought he would, big bravado over here. Yeah. Coming with like 25. You're really just moving this game, Okay. 20 seconds go for it. Oh damn I thought he would, the big bravado would come at me like 25. You're really just moving this game you know. Yeah very fast. It goes one bid, one bid, one bid okay. Yeah. I'm excited. 14. Okay you want no more part of that? I think I could do 15 but I don't think I could do it in time so I'm going to tap out. Come on Ducco. How big are your buns? How big are my cooters? I don't know if I could do more than 14 in 20 seconds. I know, because we're doing...

Alright, I'll see you. Good luck! Okay, Gai, Sebastian, Shannon, Noel, Kossima, Davida, Paulini, Ricky, Lee, Amy Shark, Isaiah Firebrace, Harrison Craig, Carice Eden, That's 10. Oh my god, Keith Urban! And Rufus Dusol! Ha ha ha! Alright, Ducco steals the point. That's a tough one.

14's a hard man. Anything that many. And I just got pinged with a Kiwi in there. I apologise to Keith Urban. We do adopt him, but technically... Oh, he's not Australian. Nah, he's Australian. Take him.

Has he got the All Blacks passport? Chow chow! So Jess and Ducco are currently tying, and Shy Guy has no points on the board. That's alright, we keep going. Well, if you get this point, you can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing.

You can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing. You can get the whole thing. Has he got the All Blacks passport? Chow chow! So Jess and Ducco are currently tying and Shy Guy has no points on the board That's alright, we'll keep going You can tie to a tiebreaker It's not over yet guys This is just you two talking He's racing through the snow He knows we're late on time

He's really trying to kill the lion I was time conscious last week Everyone carried on about it. Yeah, but I didn't say, alright, Ducca, that's enough, hit the ads. That's the difference. Can you all just rein it in today? Let's go. Next category is fashion brands.

Control them, Babs. Fashion brands. Oh, jeez. Six. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.

Ah, nope, I'm out of there. I would like to hear Shaggy do eleven also. Me too. Billabong, Ripco, Roxy, Gucci, Valenciaga. Whoa! That's five. Nike, Adidas. Seven.

Curly. You wear a lot of it. Tommy Hilberga. You were two off. You actually did really well there. You did very, very well. I'll say Country Road. Swoop's in.

There we go. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. I'm going to go with the Reds. You were two off. You actually did really well there. You did very, very well. I'll say Country Road. Swoop's in. Do we love how, again, the way the mind works from the sports, sorry, surf brands.

I was really just going through my cupboard in my head. How much Balenciaga have we got? None of those brands. You went from billabong to Balenciaga. Yeah, yeah, it was with the bees. Okay. So how did we feel? Do we like Shy Guy in the arena and Bats not Julius Caesar? None of those brands. You went from Billabong to Balenciaga. Yeah, yeah. I was with the bees. Oh, okay. So how did we feel? Do we like Shy Guy in the arena and Bats not Julius Caesar?

I think it's fun for now. Yeah, I liked being in the Quizmo. Yeah, I bet you did. Yeah, comfortable over there. Yes and duck-o. I was just in the kitchen actually. There'd be high traffic in the kitchen around this time of us. Yeah, this time.

One of Tobin who works with us just informed me they had a dream about me last night. Oh, hello, sexy dream. But his partner told him what he said because his partner was awake. Hang on, hang on. So he was sleep talking. Yeah. He said, Daco has been informed. That was what he said. That was his dream. He said that out loud in his sleep. And his partner told him, he woke up, he's like, are you said last night in your dream, Daco has been informed. Hang on, could he recall the dream?

No, he can't recall the dream. He's just saying that's what the partner out He's just saying that's what the partner heard. Yeah, that's what the partner heard. He's like, what'd you tell Dukko? He's like, I don't know what I informed him. Dukko has been informed. It's giving CIA, double-A trip, movies. That's like bury the body, the body's, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're as mob boss. Oh, we got rid of that. We got rid of that. Street team. No, it's like you're the mob boss. Ah, yeah. Dukko has been informed. I haven't done anything for you, sir.

Supposedly someone on the street team crashed the Jeep last Friday and I think he was talking about that maybe. Not that I'd be informed about that. You have a car guys. Yeah I've let Dukko know the Jeep crashed. I'd be like cool. Everyone needs a side hustle. Dukko is the station mechanic. I've got so many. I go from today's show weekend weather to station mechanic to brekkie show host to occasionally a bit of trivia. Don't put me in a box. I would never put you in a suit will be a clown at kids parties amen if our contracts don't get renewed I'm going in as Wonder Woman who wants to pay I'll be Spider-Man and you'll be Wonder Woman you know I learned how to juggle for that

exact reason I'll try and go as Thor and they'll be like, nah, Thor's not that little. We did book Thor, but you've rocked up. I put the Spider-Man suit on, bro. This is Teemu Thor. We laugh, Jess, but honestly. Oh, let's do some gentle foreshadowing. You know what we can do, though? We can give money away for alpha bucks.

Absolutely. Can I call in? Yeah, you can call in. You might need it. 13 10 60. Yeah. Would you like to play Alpha Bucks? We had a decent crack at 6.30. Yep. Unfortunately, Scotty could not walk away with the cookies.

Scotty doesn't know. Scotty did not know. But do you know? Get through the Babs and say something fun. Absolutely. She's on a power trip now that she's Get through with Babs and say something fun. Absolutely. Don't just say like- She's on a power trip now that she's quiz master for Bitty Bitty Bang Bang. She didn't like my gladiator reference, so don't-

Don't mention gladiator. Don't mention Europe. Her boyfriend's going there with the other. Oh, totally. Actually, if you call and produce hot sausage, chances are you'll get through. Absolutely. But she did tell us all her family's

calling her hot sausage now. You can't play if you're related to Babs. Oh, that wipes out about 60% of our listeners. That's all our listeners. Just call her, good luck. 30 seconds, 10 questions all started with the same letter. The first answer cannot use the same answer twice and if you're unsure of the question just say pass.

We come back of course if there is time. We're playing for $10,000. Our player today is Lisa. Hello Lisa. Good morning guys, how are you? Good morning Lisa. We're fantastic. The chance to give you $10,000. I mean, it's our privilege.

Oh yeah. It's our honour. Oh yeah. Nay, it's our pleasure. Absolutely. I would be more than welcome to accept it if I get through and win, but I've, yeah, it's been difficult the past couple of months, so it would help a lot. Okay.

Absolutely. What do you want to spend the money on, Lise? Well, there's seven of us in the house and one working car with air conditioning so it needs to go towards a new car. A new car! That's a busy household. That's a busy household. Very busy. That's a very busy household.

Well Lisa, I um, look any of the letters towards the back end of the alphabet I think freak people out a little bit but this one is solid. W. Oh okay that's um, that's a bit uh wild if I may say. There she is. On the W train. There she is. Alright Lise you ready to rock? Oh I guess I have to be now. You do. Come on. The time has come. Boogity boogity boogity. Yeah. Let's get Lisa $10,000. Your time will start after the first question. Here we go starting with the letter W. Your time will start after the first question. Here we go. Starting with the letter W. We need you to name a food

Watermelon a verb Where you going phone app whatsapp a music group Westlife a fabric Path an NRL player. Wendell Saylor. A car part. Wingscreen. An accessory.

Watch. Something sweet. Oh no. Look, it didn't really matter anyway because verb at number two was wrong. Yeah, where you? I mean, it's one thing to shoot from the hip. Where you going? Where you going?

Biggest verb I've heard. Had a moment. If you had said walk into where I was going, absolutely. Yeah, we were halfway there. Walk was the group. Music group could have been Wolfmubba. Oh, she said Westlife. Oh, she said Westlife?

You've gotta pay Westlife, my friend. Are they a music group? No, I'm joking. Something sweet you missed at the end there could have been whipped cream or what? Chocolate. Everything else you did answer and as I said the verb could have been yeah walk or wander. Look you don't get the money Lisa, you don't get the new car but you do get a hundred dollars to spend online at Candle Exchange so your house can smell lovely. It will. Yeah. I won't be leaving the house anytime soon then. Lisa thank you so much for joining the show.

Thank you guys so much. Thank you. We do play again tomorrow, 6.30am for $10,000. Now, Ducco, some people accuse us on this show of having, you know, too many silly times. Yeah. But I would argue, please ask some of the big questions. Yeah, well, the hard-hitting questions. And up next is no different.

Maybe one of the hardest-hitting questions we've asked. I couldn't agree more. Are you a nibbler? Are you a nibbler? Or are you living with a nibbler? Like I am. Because you're not a nibbler, but you'd be living with a nibbler. Welcome to the Nibbler's Living Association. Nibbler's anonymous. We have an incredible call of fame this week. You get involved in the show. We put you in a pool and on Friday we pull one of you out. You're walking away with a double pass to Lady Gaga. Thank you very much.

See her poker face live in concert. She'd be great to see. Just by answering one of be great to see. Just by answering one of the great serious questions. Are you a nibbler? Or do you live with a nibbler? You're living with a nibbler. Not enough Futurama quotes on this show.

I think that's our first. Are you a nibbler? I'll explain what I mean. We got given a box of macaroons, macaroons, macaroons, macarons, macaroons. I feel like macaroon is the almond spongy biscuit and macaroon is the French fancy one. That's what we're talking about. The French fancy one with little stuff inside. What is a macaroon?

You know what? That's a grape. It's almost like a meringue. It is like a meringue. With a creamy... Creamy in the middle. It's an odd texture. It is an odd texture. I still don't know if I like them. You know what I mean? Oh, I love it. I love it. Every time I have one, I vary on whether I like a macaron.

Fair. You've got to get the right flavour. Either or. We got given a box of macarons. There was... Assorted. About six or seven in there. All different colours, all different flavours. I had left them on the bench, I said, I thought, oh, you know, my wife and I can have these. What's mine is yours, honey. Exactly, we'll share them, whatever. You know, I have macaron, you have macaron, that's how life works, you know? That's right.

The baby's a bit young for the macaron, but maybe we can keep one for the next year. But if mummy has macaron, then baby gets breast milk, baby also gets macaron. Oh, you're right. Essence of macaron. Pam got a macaron, we all got one. She likes strawberry. So, anyway. So. Donence of macaron. Pam got a macaron, we all got one. She likes strawberry. So anyway. So don't feed your dogs macarons.

Very high sugar. I would never give my dog that. Are you kidding? So anyway. God for b**ch, she loses the muscle definition. She loses her quad def. That's me done. She's on the street.

See you later, Pam. You're disowned. Cause if she's not jacked, what is she? What is she? She's no daughter of mine. That's what. She's just an anxious dog. God, if your daughter grows up to be a little fatty, it's going to be so funny.

Wouldn't that be bad? I'm going to feed her butter every time I see it. Honestly. Come on, chunk up. Come here. Anyway, enough about that. Sorry. So the box is out, right?

Macarons. I come around to the box and to my absolute disgust, I see that my wife has taken a bite. What has she done? Taken a bite out of, or take it, sorry, my bad. My wife has taken a nibble out of every single macaron, macaroon. Like a little rat. Yeah, everyone. The video, the video is on the Jess and

Ducko grid. This is not even story. This is grid worthy. Bit of audio for it too. What kind of psycho does this? You've taken a bite out of every single one. Well you aren't gonna eat them. Or not anymore. Why did you even do that? Wanted to test the flavour. Wanted to test the flavour so took a bite out of every one. And like it's like the perfect nibble too. It is the perfect, it genuinely looks like you've got rodents. It does yeah yeah on everyone and I was like but you didn't even finish one you took a nibble out of all of them and put them all back. Yeah because she's saying I needed to determine which flavour was my favourite well then pick the chocolate one up and finish it. Eat it. But she had it she tasted the chocolate the strawberry looked like vanilla and maybe a caramel. Yep.

But then left it. They left it. She's classic for that though. If we have like biscuits or anything that come in, she'll have like classic a half of one or a quarter of one, then put it back. She always does it. Because it's actually... I used to suck the flavor off the shapes and put it back in, but other than that... No, that's disgusting. Oh, that's, that's Ayu Asaka.

That's tomorrow. Oh, well, I wanted to read you what Hummingbird got in touch with, but I think she might be answering, are you a sucker? Oh, okay. My brother is the same as Ducko's wife. When we were kids, he once snuck into our opaque lollager. So obviously couldn't see through it. It was full of clinkers. We're a clinkers family.

He would suck all the chocolate off and put any back that weren't pink. It was so disgusting. And I was so mad when I opened the lid to fetch myself a clinker. That is so rank, because then you're eating like the all sucked ones. Because also I'd ask, what's a clinker? What's the inside? Oh, that's a muck chork. It's edible chork.

It's weird. I don't know what's inside that. So at least Morgan only took a nibble. You could have eaten from the other end. Yeah. But also you'd have, I'm sure you would have, but it did feel like some little rat had nibbled on your macarons. Even though, even though she's my wife, I'm like, I don't want that anymore. You've got limits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want that now.

I'll share a toothbrush, but I'm not eating your half nibbled macaron. So begs the question 131060, are you the nibbler or are you living with a nibbler? Jess has thinks through. She's living with a nibbler ducko. My partner. She's living with a nibbler, Ducco. My partner nibbles my ear. LOL. Alright Jess, you've interpreted that a very different way to what I anticipated. Nibbler!

More a bit like that. But are you dating a nibbler? Are you with a nibbler? Are you with a nibbler? And this is the question, Ducco. You've been with Morgan a long time. But before you did your wedding vows, you didn't know she was a nibbler? Didn't know she nibbled like this. That is a question you need to ask before you put a ring on it. This is a sackable nibble.

Like, there's been a slight nibble every now and then, but this is a sackable nibble. This is sackable. Yeah, yeah. This is divorce territory. So... 13, 10, 60! Are you a nibbler? Nibblers!

Or are you living with a nibbler? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Look at nibblers. Nibblers! Or are you living with a nibbler? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Look at nibblers. Ooh! Nibbler! Uh, my wife is a nibbler. And not the good kind, not my ear. Um, she's nibbling all my food.

Ticklish? Uh, not really. I can see you giggling like a schoolgirl if someone were to like nibble your ear. No, you know what? Should I go nibble his ear? I'm gonna save your giggles. No thanks.

When I get ticklish, I sound like this. Ready? Yeah! Woohoo! Stop! No, my wife is going in and nibbling a lot of food. She's done it for like little biscuits and crackers and stuff like that. Eats half of it, quarter of it, puts it back.

But we got our macarons, macaroons, macaroons. We got given them. Which one is it? The national sweet treat of France. Which one is it? Your mother like, I think it's macaron. Macaron, okay. I'll go for it.

I'm not confident. You call maroons maroons, so I don't know with you. I can't be. Yeah, yeah. I think that's correct every. We're gonna be annoying people right now. Either way, no one has correct us, cause no one knows.

No one knows, Not the almond sponge. Nope. The French one that's like layers of meringue with a creamy centre. Yep. They're, I quite like them. We got given like six or seven as a gift. All our whole team did. Different flavours and associated colours. I took them home and said to my wife, hey, we'll enjoy these later together.

Now that you're a tea drinker, what a lovely accompaniment. A sleepy tea to tea with a mocha rune. Did my life just get lame? Hell yeah it did. Blink and you hate yourself kids. Yeah but Morgan ruined that fantasy. She did because she's a nibbler. She came in and she nibbled, she nibbled a bite of each, each one and I came back but didn't have one goes I wanted to taste all the flavours but then didn't finish one. So are you telling me she didn't like any of the flavors?

No because she came back the next day and finished them. The whole thing. 24 hour leader. Because I was like well they're yours now she ate the whole thing she goes why didn't you have any? I'm like does your nibble on them? Sorry she mongo. Why didn't you have any? Why? If you would like to see the video of the nibbled macaroon, macaroon, maroon, whatever they are, maroon. The video was on the Jessanducco Instagram page.

It's bad. It's sackable. It actually is bad. You've accused her of being a psychopath. Lucy got in touch on the text line 0488881069 and said, my son takes a nibble out of every single biscuit in the biscuit jar and puts them back ready for the next person That's a nibbler. It's a nibbler. People are living with nibblers left right and center But I would love to get a nibbler themselves on if you're bravener. Yep, Alex. Good morning

Good morning. You're living with a nibbler. Oh, I'm living with a few nibblers, mainly my husband. What does he do? Oh, it's bad. He so we get get these big like, um, two kilo tubs of yogurt and I kid you not, I'll go to get a bowl and there'll be one spoonful left. He just gets the whole yogurt tub out and he takes one spoon until the whole tub's finished. Oh, like where he's, he's just dipping the one spoon into the tub. So he's just having a little taste test as opposed to just a bowl of yoghurt. Yeah, he won't get a bowl. I see.

Because it doesn't count, the calories don't count. He's going from tub to mouth. If you're standing up in the fridge, it doesn't count. I didn't realise you could nibble on something like yoghurt. That's a level nibbling. When Alex said that, oh wow. That is, that's some 80 grade top nibbling. Particularly because I think the harshest part of a nibbler is the

Evidence left behind the teeth marks. Yeah, little rat like where is it? Oh get you can't see it. You can't see it visible nib Visible nib Hey, we go to Kingsley Kingsley your sister's the nibbler Yeah, what's she done? so when we buy wagon wheels and she comes in and opens the pack, she takes the bike out of it and then saves it for the next day. What do you mean?

A wagon wheel is a one-time only thing, don't you agree Kingsley? You're not having it over two, three days. Yeah. Are you in the car with your sister right now Kingsley? Yep. Yeah. What has she got to say for herself? Here you go Willow. Come on Willow. Come on Willow, what are you going to save yourself? Um, she's new at Barra's. She's new at Barra's, that's why. Yeah, no, no, no, because she's never been called out for her nibbling. Good morning to Willow. Stop that. Stop it. Monique on 13 10 60. Ooh, late sister-in-law was the nibbler it says here.

Oh, valet. G'day. Sorry. Doug has absolutely set me back. Reproof read, you idiot. Totious wretz. You are freaking Rod Birkenty. Oh my god.

Sorry, Manny. Please continue with your story. No, that's okay. My late sister-in-law, she at school, she used to get, the teacher used to get her to go down to the canteen to get a salad roll. She used to take a bite out of it and give it to the teacher. Never said anything. Oh, shut up. How did the teacher not notice? Who knows? Most likely it wasn't game enough to say anything. I don't know. It's like, excuse me, Sandra, have you taken a bite of a salad, Rob? Can't be doing that. You can't be doing that. No.

How did that story come up, Monique? Don't tell me that was part of the eulogy. No, no. On the weekend, we're just talking about my partner's sisters. And yeah, it was just a funny thing that just come up and Story she was a nibbler Yeah, thank you for sharing that with us I'm back on bands. Manig might be going to Gaga for that. I don't know. Jess and Ducko. We just cracked open a fresh can of the Mondays team.

Let's enjoy it. Good friend of the show, Ducko. Hooligan. Hoolsy. He's DM'd us and he said, look, lots of opening a can references this morning. It's a bit of our thing on Monday, opening a fresh can. We started a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. It's a bit of our thing on Monday opening a fresh can. We started a couple weeks ago. Yeah, Hooligan said is this a prelude to the version 3 of Shy Guy Dips? First year we did be scared. This year we're doing serials. He goes maybe when the serial runs out, Shy Guy Sips.

Wow, get him on the payroll. Babs where was that creativity from you? Shy Guy Sips! And do we move, because that to be fair has been our Wednesday game for two years, maybe we move to a Monday. I love that. What are you sipping today Shy Guy? And it can be anything, alcoholic, non-alcoholic. It could be canned or uncanned. Canned or uncanned. But... Preferably canned. We'll have the canned sound effect.

I think, look, everything kind of can be canned now. Can you imagine him tasting it and then giving us the explanation of what he's tasting? Because he really... I mean, besides maybe descriptions of canned, it's going to be all tasting. Ah, I'll be fair. And maybe...

It's for a sip. Shy Guy Sips, what do you reckon? Shy Guy Sips. 2026? Are we gonna see cereals through the end of the year? You've been complaining about the lack of. Let's work some harder, not harder. Why don't we double up? Sips on Monday, dips on Wednesday. We're on the back end of the year now, aren't we? Yeah, then we can do like the million dollar can. Oh, there you go! Oh, hang on a minute, we had the golden biscuit last year.

It's a million yen, obviously. A million dollars. Our preferred currency, the don. The don, yeah. The don, we love the don. Anyway, let's workshop Hooligan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mate, thank you very much.

Oh, that's fantastic, I love that. We'll definitely look into it. He's come up with some great suggestions over the months. The best. You can always hit us for suggestions. Text us text line 0488810690. You can message him on Instagram. However you want to do it. Up next though, we started something at Glastonbury. That's right, Ducco. Something filled my feed last night and I went, hang on a minute.

It's taken over Glastonbury in 2025, but this has got Jess and Dukkow written all over it. Yep. I think festival organisers have been listening to our little show, possibly on the listener app, who's to say where? Look forward to it. Speaking of though, this song, Lewis Capaldi, this is live from Glastonbury, someone you love. This was fantastic. Because when he did this, I saw it on Instagram, it was so good. When he did this in 2023, it's when he couldn't finish the song. That's right. He's Tourette's. He's got Tourette's. Yeah, yeah. So he couldn't finish the song and he really struggled. He's Tourette's. He's got Tourette's.

Yeah, yeah. So he couldn't finish the song and he really struggled. And then the rest of the crowd sang it for him. Oh my God. That was such a beautiful moment. And that's when he just sort of was there crying, staring at the crowd. His goal was to get back on the stage this year, 2025, and re-perform that song, plus debut a brand new song, which he did about the journey.

Oh. And the first time he's performed on stage again, and he did it at Glastonbury. Oh, sick. We love Lewis. The kahoom,est that takes to be able to come back and do that at a place where like that happened to you. 200,000 people in the crowd. Incredible. Oh we love Lewis.

So here he is, this one's live actually from Glastonbury where he came out and did it again. Good morning. Jess and Ducco. There is extra news out of Glastonbury. Now it certainly didn't make headlines, all right? Everyone's talking about a whole gamut of things. But this was deep, deep in my feed and I thought, hang on a minute, you're not getting that one past me, Glastonbury. Arguably the

biggest festival in the world, 200,000 people. Crazy. Crazy. Headliners this year, Charlie XCX, Lorde, Olivia Rodrigo, Rod Stewart, Neil Young, of course, Lewis Capaldi. Margot Robbie was there doing a Q&A. It's not Rod Stewart, Neil Young, of course, Louis Capaldi. Margot Robbie was there doing a Q and A. It's not just music. It's sort of arts and culture. It looks incredible. Babs has just shared that's on her bucket list. Absolutely.

We'll get the show to go one year. We'll do a show from Glastow. I love that idea. But I want to cast your mind back to April this year, ducko. In fact, early April, April two, you and I just having a bit of fun on this little program of ours. We wanted to talk about church hymns that slap. Oh, one of the great chats.

Those songs from let's be real primary school days that have just embedded in your brain. You and I both had a gamut. And I will say my'm my best son. But we opened it up to the rice cookers, we met Craig. The Lord is my shepherd and I want to follow wherever he leads me, wherever he goes. Didn't stop with Craig.

Yeah, we met Lucy. We come to the table of the Lord as one body formed in your love. In your love. We come to the table of the Lord. I'm pretty sure Lucy was like, I was in primary school 30 years ago and yet I can still remember it word for word.

They stay in, right? Yeah, it's so good. April 2, I want it on the record. Yeah. Well, in 2025, last weekend of June, Glastonbury hosts a stage that had to be shut, Ducco. That's how many people flock to the stage and they'll do that for like a Charlie XCX. They go, crowds at capacity, shut the area to try and work crowd control. They had to do that at this special stage because James B. Partridge, he's a singer slash singing teacher, bit of a viral guy.

He was running a sing-along called Primary School Bangers, most of which were church hymns that slapped. Stop it. Could you imagine being at a festival and that happens? They had to close the field to manage the crowd. The performance was so popular. He's doing things like, give me oil in my lamp. He's doing things like Lord of the Dance.

The BBC has muscled their way in because they needed to capture what was going on at this stage. We got a message on our BBC WhatsApp group to say they've closed the fields. Now bear in mind they closed the field for the Kill and the sugar babes and Avril Lavigne. Now they're closing the field for James B Partridge and Give Me Oil In My Lamp. I mean that is, I think possibly has to be a first shortly for Glastonbury first of all. I mean who needs the killers? James B Partridge and Give Me Oil In My Lamp. Who needs the killers when you can have a bit of shine Jesus shine. Hell yeah. It continues on another festival goer talking about her experience.

I am blown away by that. I feel so nostalgic and all fuzzy inside if I'm honest with you. Funny thing isn't it, you might not be able to remember what you had for breakfast this morning, but you can remember every lyric to every song that you sang at school. So true. Isn't that funny? So the little idea that I think I'm going to give us, Crotevall, back in April, is now shutting a stage down because of overcapacity at Glastonbury. He listens to the show, obviously. Absolutely he does. I'm going to do this.

People love that. People love a trip down memory lane. Oh, that's fantastic. Let's collectively sing a bit of Shine, Jesus, Shine. Could you imagine if we were all there together singing church hymns? Oh my. Day three of Glasgow. Should I guys got nipple tassels on?

To go from Lewis Capaldi to James B. Partridge singing the Lord is my shepherd, come on. Fill my cup with oil, whatever it was. My lamp. Not my cup. That's another hymn. You can put oil in your cup if you want. Jess and Ducco. Pitbull, Neo, Afrojack and Naid is giving me everything here at breakfast. Don't forget Pitbull coming down under for our Fridays Live. Absolutely, we we're gonna have some more double passes to Friday's live you keep it locked right here on this show and you could be there. Yeah absolutely and keep it locked here you can win Lady Gaga

tickets we're drawing the call of fame to give her tickets away on Friday we got that this week. One of my girlfriends messaged me yesterday Ducco and she said babe I've just found some tickets, still gaga, available at Sydney. Upwards of $600, ducko. And I had to say, sos, babe, I'm going with me mum. Are you actually going? Yeah, yeah, I'm going in Melbourne.

My mum said, if I get a sticker, I went, if you're getting this ticket. Absolutely. Where's she playing in Melbourne? That's a great question. I want to say Marvel. Yeah, oh, Marvel, okay. It might be one of the biggies.

She's at a core stadium in New South Wales. Yes. Can you have a look? Where is the Gags in Melbourne? She could fill a stadium, should she wish. Marvel, she is. And I hope she does. Last time I was at Marvel Stadium I saw Adele and she had a stage built in the middle of the ground. You know what the footy stadiums usually they either at one end and they block off a bunch of seats and fill the floor or you get a circular stage and you can work a 360. A show in the round. A show in the round and you can imagine Gaga. We used to call it a theatre in the round with my theatre troupe. Oh I love that when you play theatre sports. Oh yeah,

always performing everywhere you know, always. To every pocket of your audience. Yeah. No one misses out. That'll be a good show. I think it will be. But if you'd like to be there for zero dollars, you win them right here with Jess and Ducker. I've had some great prizes. Origin tickets and accommodation last week. Incredible.

Do we get a confirmation? Did Reeseyboy get those? Reese has them in his hot little hand. Oh, very good. Otherwise we're redrawing tomorrow. We can't have two empty seats in the stadium where it says reserved for the rice cooker who won on Jess and... That'd just be embarrassing.

Very embarrassing. But Rhys is going good tonight. I'll be there but I'm in a box. I'm joking. Well you've worked very hard. I'm so hard. I deserve it. Nah, I won't be there.

Hey, great show today though team. You missed any of it. Grab it on Listen or wherever you get your podcasts. We've really appreciated the contributions, the ideas. If you have any, 0488881069, slide into the DMs like Hooligan did, he's come up with our new game, Shy Guy Sips. Because on Mondays we crack open a fresh can of the Mondays, because everyone hates a Monday, so why not crack open a fresh can and enjoy it like it's something different? You know why you hate it? Because of your attitude.

Yeah. You know how you change your attitude Shaggy crack on open. Oh Bit soft that one's that one's gone off. That's a bit flat. Yeah, you haven't rotated your LA ice enough Yeah, you gotta just have you still pumping the LA ice. You're keeping them a business. I uh, they're great I'm glad I got Dr. Pepper over here. What have you got? How do you describe the taste of Dr Pepper? Oh, like cherry kind of...

Cherry! Soury. I know, I love it. I don't care for Dr Pepper. Oh, it's an acquired taste, absolutely. Yeah, I think maybe because it's called Dr Pepper, I don't want my drinks to be peppery. It is a very... I don't think I'd have it anymore. I couldn't have much of it. Yeah, fair. Goodness me.

You're a creaming soda guy from way back. I used to have a creaming soda a day. That's what gave me all those feelings. I don't encourage it. I'm not endorsing it. When I was younger. Oh goodness. Oh, fantastic. Hey, we're out of here. Back tomorrow. As we said, more alpha box off of grabs. We sort of slipped a bit today with our players. That's alright though, happens. That's okay. More tickets to Gaga. Tomorrow's Tuesday, which means... with our players that's alright though, happens. That's okay. More tickets to the Gaga, tomorrow's Tuesday which means... Oh, Year of the Soul! Great, I love the theme! I don't know. You know I work it out the morning all. Have you forgiven me yet for not wishing you a happy

birthday on a Saturday and doing it on a Sunday afternoon? You are forgiven. Thank you sir. You know I love you. Yes. I was in Dire Straits. Tomorrow's the first of July. Where's the ear gone? How wild is that? You're of July. Where's the eargone? How wild is that? You're just gonna, you're gonna pull another where's the eargone? You've said that so many times. No, I was trying to think of a theme.

That could be something to do with the first. Babs just had a theme suggestion. Oh, what was it? Artists who play Glastonbury on the weekend. That's probably smarter. That's more on trend. That's not bad. I was really stuck on my tracks with the first.

Yeah, how you going, Babs? Hey, you haven't cracked open a can yet. Crack a can open. Ooh, French. Ooh, a short can. Yeah, a short can. It's a little can. No, no, you went down.

No, you were just soft. She just stopped. Her mic's different. Babs, stop on those mini sprites. Are you playing mics now on can? Are we getting competitive on can sound effects? All right, okay, you go one more, and then Babs will go on.

Make it up, make it exciting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh, that one was a bit frothy. Okay. You go one more and then babs will go make it up. Make it exciting. Yeah. Ooh, that one was a bit frothy. Yeah. My babs. Still didn't love it. All clean. She's so much better at it than you. So getting you a new microphone.

Well done, Babs. We're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye bye. Bye. Box of macaroons. Macaroons. Macaroons.

Macaron. Macaron. Macaron. Oh, is it? Macaroons. You know. Macaron. Macaron. Oh, is it? Macaroons? Oh, I love it. I love it. Every time I have one, I vary on whether I like a macaron. Fair. You've got to get the right flavour. I have macaron, you have macaron. That's how life works, you know? That's right. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Pink chicken is upon us with the new McWings at Maccas.