Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Did we eat today?
Episode Date: November 3, 2025Where'd you sneak? Duckos wife Morgan gets blind drunk and Jess sings Ricky Martin...Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inf...ormation.
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The new spicy Frank's red-hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas.
This is the Jess and Duggo podcast.
I'm thinking.
Podcast, fuck yeah.
Recall to Paul.
We're living the day yet.
Podcast, fuck yeah.
Welcome to podcast, everybody.
Angus has just texted me, Ducco.
What are you saying?
Jesus Christ, that's the most stressful 10 minutes I've had in a whole year.
Oh.
What's he talking about?
Did you say what's happened?
He can't say that, they're not tell you.
I know.
That's just rude.
He's not going to send another text and say...
Is he talking about you trying to do the trend at the end of the show?
Yeah, it could have been.
Maybe he's just the worst radio gear he's ever heard.
He's going to go for 10 minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
You're going to hear the worst rate.
Maybe I don't put that in the show, Shaga.
Maybe it felt like 10 minutes.
How long do our podcast only go for about 45?
No, an hour and half.
There are a half.
There you go.
Well, sometimes this intro itself goes for 20 minutes.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, where did we land on putting the intro on YouTube?
Huh?
Shaga and I were discussing things off air about
this is a while ago, the trend we're noticing
in a lot of podcasts, putting their
vision on YouTube. YouTube's back with a vengeance, man.
YouTube is the biggest podcast platform
in the world. Isn't that crazy what you just said?
Biggest podcast platform in the world.
People are putting on as background viewing.
They're not necessarily sitting down to watch it like a movie,
but they're putting the podcast vision on
to then listen if they're moving around the house
or to just have it on.
And we said, how do we jump on board this
because we can't live stream?
because of just the functionality we have.
And Shangai had the idea,
what about the podcast top?
That potentially 15, 20 minutes,
could that live as a video.
But I didn't know where we landed.
I did send an email about it,
but no one replied.
But we're not allowed because of listener.
God forbid there's another stream.
You don't forget we try.
Which could potentially be an income thing.
I think it was about us allowing to have a channel that isn't under the...
Yeah, because they own all our shit.
They own all that shit.
Can we go on the listener YouTube?
The only listener has a YouTube.
Or no.
They don't want us.
Oh, they'd rather have.
All right, well, pardon me, Mel Robbins, one of the most successful podcasts in the world.
Let's not copy what she does.
Let's just keep doing our own thing.
Yeah, keep that up.
I should be good, though.
We'll revisit that.
Great show today, though, team, bit of fun, you know.
A lot of fun, a lot of learning about each other.
Some great stories.
We did, where just sneak in off the guy snuck in on the anthem of the kangaroos game.
Look, I don't want to rub it in.
Yeah, it could be.
Could be Rick.
You doubted the sticky Ricky appeal.
Just Rick Martin changes his persona so much.
You've wigged me out his names Enrique.
I mean, of course it is.
He's Puerto Rican.
Morales.
Morales.
Wait, is Martin not in there?
Did he, um...
He obviously out of that.
Did they give Martin because obviously he was trying to break into the Western.
Bricket Maratis.
Ah, sacked that bush.
See, Ricky Morales still feels like a superstar's name.
Ricky Morales.
Martin is his middle name.
Ah.
Enrique Martin Morales.
Yes, yes, yes.
Because, you know, he was.
was like a product of his, the pop world back then.
Like, he was made to, you know, not come out of the closet.
It was all very sexual.
I didn't know how Ricky Martin was gay.
Yeah, he's married.
He's got two little kids.
I did not even know that.
I mean, I don't know much about Ricky Martin.
I'm completely honest with all of you.
But yeah, like, all like she bangs, live in Lovita Loka.
That's a gay man singing.
And, of course, they can.
But it was because they were creating him to be this sex icon when he's not even
interested in women.
Oh, that would have been tough.
Yes, absolutely.
So it's funny, even giving him the name Ricky Martin.
Yeah, imagine that.
You know, they've created something.
And so he, like, told them he was gay and they're like, yeah, let's just keep, let's just keep this.
Well, I wonder if he felt, I'm not actually, I wonder if he has an autobiography.
I'm not, I don't know if he was also like, well, I want to break into that.
So I'll do what needs to be done.
Or if it was a PR team saying, if you want this, then you've got to be like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Be who you want to be.
Be who you want to be, man.
You can, Babs can be who she wants to be.
Oh, I wish Babs felt that.
She could be whoever she wants to be.
I think she muzzles herself.
She doesn't say what she's really thinking a lot of the time.
No, I say what I'm thinking.
You're getting better at it.
Who was it, ma, was it my mum or dad yesterday?
Maybe it was mum.
She's like, oh, Bab's a bit of a character, isn't she?
And I was like, oh, she's really coming out of her skin.
Mum's like, yeah, she is.
Yeah, see, she's come a little bit.
I reckon there's a lot more layers.
You're an onion.
I don't reckon we've peeled you all the way back.
Can we peel you all the way back, Babbs?
I'm so gross.
Babbs like, yeah, okay.
You mean, you're an onion.
staring at me really.
Trying to penetrate those layers.
Oh, geez, there we go.
Shaga, can I pill you back?
Yeah, sure.
Talk about an onion.
You're not an onion, you're more like a clam, shall.
Yeah, and you open it.
Like, Babs, I reckon I could.
Shagga's a clam with nothing inside, so you're opening it, you're like, oh.
Where's the pearl?
Yeah, where's the pearl?
Sorry to my life.
Hey, we are going to a luncheon today.
Yeah, we are.
You and I am seeing.
Shy guy's our plus one.
Your parents are his plus two.
Yep.
What's going on over this?
This is your clam.
Shagai climbing up.
Shagai, a ducco and I are going to need to be getting up a little bit, circulating, doing our work.
Yep.
What's your icebreaker with Yarl and Duckers?
Oh, yeah. We're going to say, his...
A current affair chat.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you didn't even cover the Bonnie Blue special.
Yeah, you can definitely speak about that.
Did you say your parents had watched the Bonnie Blue doco?
No, they haven't.
I've made that up in time.
Let's run with that, though.
I still haven't watched it yet.
I still haven't watched it yet.
Me neither.
I can't just can't believe a current affair is interviewing Bonnie Blue.
Like, come on.
I know.
I think they had.
Did they have Tara Brown on it?
Oh, no, she's...
I think it was technically 60 minutes.
I think it was, um, the host.
What's the current host of, um, current affair?
Ali Langdon.
It was Ali doing, it was Ali doing...
They only wheel her after the big ones.
They're going to get the big is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So, doing that.
But yeah, speak about that with Dad.
You know, that'd be good.
Yeah.
Mom will speak a lot.
Mom will just speak a lot, mate.
You know, she'll do a lot of heavy lifting.
Yeah, you don't need an icebreaker with Kate.
Yeah.
I do dislike small talk because I'm not good at it.
Yeah.
I ask, what's keeping you up at night?
Go straight for deep talk.
I described you to them as an interesting cat.
So I was like, he's an interesting cat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell them.
I'm not afraid about that.
Yeah, yeah.
He's an interesting cat.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, he's a mum.
Venus flytrap.
Oh, so he eats you and he gets you.
He's carnivorous.
But he waits for you to come to him and he goes, oh.
Yeah, he's got a luring inside.
I used to love Venus fly traps.
I had them as a kid.
Really?
Yeah, I'm like bedside table and stuff and watch some clothes in.
But the mom was really slowly you touch it.
It was like, uh.
What do you mean?
little pot paint, they catch flies and stuff.
So creepy.
It's cool, man.
Did you name it like a pet?
No, I think I just had an obsession with them and bonzai trees.
Weird.
Yeah, little trees.
I like little fancy.
I don't have my little rake where I'd scrape the sand in it every day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Trim its edges.
Yeah.
You're putting the sand off, though.
I don't know.
I don't know what happened to my bonsai tree.
I had a real Bondi tree obsession when I went to Japan for the first time in grade seven
and I came back and I had like classic, like you get into the craze.
I had all these dangly key chains off my fucking belt, like Pokemon stuff.
They have all these accessories, and I loved bonsai trees.
Yeah.
It was a moment in my time.
Lean in, man.
Have you had an affinity with Japan ever since?
You love Japan.
I do like Japan.
You like Japanese food.
I think it is because I'm tall when I go over there, and I just feel, I just, yeah, I feel normal, you know, above average.
You found your people.
I did find my penis is big there.
I'm normal.
Everything, you know.
Good skiing.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And the powder of the snow is great.
I love that.
I go to Japanese urinals.
Absolutely.
And I'm so tall.
I look down.
I go, ah, this is what it feels like.
Japan feels like.
Pan feels too technologically advanced to have the trough wall.
It feels so quintessentially bog and Aussie.
I don't recall going to a trough there.
No, it feels like it would all be cubicles and it would all be really high.
I think you can hear.
Is it on the record out there?
Hello.
I don't know.
Oh, he was just staring at the penis balloon.
I don't think he can hear us.
He's really stumbling.
He's like the plant guy.
The guy that waters the three plants.
He was looking out.
He was looking out of his eyes.
Is it the penis balloon?
I don't know what that is.
I don't think it's on.
He wouldn't be able to.
No, he couldn't hear anything.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it was just, I mean, when a guy usually stands out and just stares at me, people were so obnoxious, hey.
Yeah, they have no idea.
We've lost all, we've lost so much social etiquette.
Yeah, I blame Gen Z.
Some people would blame COVID.
No, me.
It's COVID.
Yeah, brain rot.
Anyway, I've just got a text back from Angus.
So we can put a pin in this.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah, we were all worried.
He goes, no, no, no, it's all good.
He had to do a handover.
The grandparents with the baby.
Oh.
But he's done like, before?
Yeah, so I'm wondering what's happened this time.
Oh, she was cracking it.
Maybe.
She's really in her cracking at her, isn't she?
Yes, she is, Tucko.
Yes, she is.
How are the other two-year-old kids that you know of?
Are they similar?
Yes, absolutely.
It is so normal.
It doesn't help.
No.
But at least you make you...
Absolutely.
At least I know she's not an anomaly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, God, I'm reading that stage.
Because everything I read about screen time is that that amplifies tantrums,
like genuinely mucks with their brain.
Yeah, yeah.
We've now gone pretty much five whole days without screen time.
Had one of her worst yesterday.
And I go, so it's not just screen time.
Yeah, it's not just a thing that they do.
It's just a thing that they do.
So, oh, I feel bad.
Oh, God, I feel bad.
I'm not.
I'm dreading that stage in life.
It's just part puzzle.
Right now, my little angel just drinks pool water and flutters around.
My little chunky thing just doing.
I hope you've saved that vision.
It wasn't just on your Instagram story.
Because when she becomes an Olympic swimmer, I want you to pull that back out as a proud dabbing like,
from where we started to then her on the podium accepting her goals.
I had a lot of people reply to it.
It was very funny.
The zoom-in of Morgan doing the same tongue.
Yeah, it's just where she gets it.
That was very amusing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, we know they're sponges.
They just copy what they see.
Yeah, well, mummy.
Lapping at the water.
Good with her tongue.
Yeah, I went there, didn't it?
I ponded it and I was like, it's like around that I did it.
Yeah.
And it'd be that way around.
So anything, it'd be, oh, I'm good with my tongue.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He does my salt let like his name, Rome.
No.
I'm on that dumb shit.
That we've got to go.
Anaconda.
Nicky Minaj.
No, too much singing from you today.
Jess and Ducko in the morning.
Stop what you're doing and listen.
You know I got that shit that you like.
There's only one show to wake up here.
I'm not that easy to hang.
If you could crack anyone, you could crack my mom.
I ain't got to explain.
Ducco.
Is this an orgy? I don't know what's going on.
Got him going insane.
I was a guy.
I was today years old when I read.
realize what I've been missing, you.
I should be more ball away.
Fuck, yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco.
Yes, it is right on 6 o'clock.
Hey, welcome to a, welcome to a Tuesday.
Welcome to Melbourne Cup Day.
Melbourne Cup.
Bub, ba, ba, bum, bum, bum.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I just text my cousin, Sharon.
She's up early.
She's a big rice cooker all the way down in Victoria, Ducko.
Yep.
Good morning, Shazzy.
Her and her partner, massive carnival, racing carnival.
Oh, they love the horse.
So I messaged you this morning because I was about to say,
hey, what time does the prep start?
What are you wearing?
You know, you and I are going to an event.
I wanted to show her what I was wearing.
Yeah.
She said, oh, babe, we were going to, but it is so wet down here.
Oh, in Melbourne.
We're actually going to give it a miss.
Oh, wow.
Which is, oh, that is unheard of.
Yeah, in Melbourne.
In Melbourne.
So we know, obviously, Melbourne four seasons in one day,
but how is this going to affect the carp?
Yeah.
Because we know the horses is that changes the terrain.
Well, you look for the wet track specialist on the sports bet.
You've got to look for the mudders.
The mudders, yeah.
The ones that are good in the mudge.
They love the wet track.
So I'm glad you and I aren't there.
We get to go to a nice venue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Parade around in our fancy hats and our fancy clothes.
Yeah.
But also just stay out of the rain.
Well, yeah.
It's meant to be a little bit wet sort of most parts, but that's a shame that it's going to be wet for the cup.
Yeah.
So if you are celebrating today, I hope it's indoors.
Hope it's indoors.
Enjoy it.
Enjoy your various events.
This is one of those rare days where it's a Tuesday, but it's actually a Friday.
Absolutely.
Like everyone sort of,
Everyone at work corporately, either has a half day.
Lots of people go out and do things.
It's really nice to see, like, workplaces lean into it
because instead of just having to, I'm not feeling great on Monday to lay the groundwork
and then not post on social media, you can all just lean in with your colleagues, with your boss.
Yeah, exactly.
Or maybe you've just put in a day and loose.
It's a dangerous precedent, though, just getting really loose with the work, people.
You know what I mean?
A Tuesday.
I wonder what the history is of putting the cup on a Tuesday.
Yeah, it's a weird day.
When the racing carnival does have two days, you got Derby Day and Stay.
Day both on the weekend.
And Melbourne get a public holiday for it, don't they?
Well, Victoria as a whole.
Absolutely.
Sorry, Victoria.
Yeah, they get the whole day off.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Interesting.
The day before the AFL grand final and Melbourne Cup,
they love a sporting public holiday.
They do.
They very much enjoy it.
We cleverly put the NRL grand final around Labor Day.
It seems like you get two for one.
Yeah.
Because we're hard to work.
I'm putting it out there.
I mean, I'd love all the day off of Victoria yet.
I'm not saying I'd be a bit easier.
It would be a bit easier, be a bit better.
But with the cookies we've been served, I'm now going to like, claim, we're hard workers.
This is, yeah, yeah, okay, we're hard workers.
Stuff them.
How are you going this morning?
I'm feeling fantastic, thank you.
You are?
You're ready for our day?
I am ready for our day.
I got my husband to go, we have not much left at the house that we're renovating,
but there's one room that isn't being touched.
Right.
So we crammed as much as we could, and I went, I think my fancy hat is in that room, Angus.
I'm going to need you to go.
and find me fancy hat.
He came yesterday, he goes, found her.
What are we talking here?
It's a very large, wide wind.
Oh, you're doing a hat, full hat?
I'm doing a hat. Okay.
At a luncheon.
Inside.
Inside, how do we feel about that?
Oh, I mean, each to their own.
It's the one day of the year, I think you can do whatever you want.
That's it.
Like, last year I did the headband.
Yeah.
Very, the opposite of ostentatious.
It was very demure, very calm.
Didn't poke anyone at his eye out.
You and I stand quite close because we host, we take photos.
we're going to have to have a wide berth.
Yeah, I know.
And you remember that we host two functions,
one off says be good,
but the one down says where it's very busy
and there's people everywhere.
Oh, these chocke-blower.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People are going to have to be like my security being like,
make room, like a bouncer,
pushing people out of the way.
Well, Shagai is going to be there.
I mean, he's with my parents, obviously,
having a good time of my parents.
But he's your best friend and you're...
I like that you think I would be a bouncer, though.
But you can...
Definitely don't have that.
You went shopping yesterday.
You did text our glazer.
Oh, yeah.
You wore a blazer.
What colour?
Green.
Light green.
You didn't send any photos.
I was expecting some updates.
I know.
I was hoping to like chip in.
What are we talking here?
Just like a green, black green blazer.
Love it.
To go with black pants.
And a white shirt, were you thinking?
Yeah, white shirt.
Have you got any fun?
Are you got a tie?
Oh, I'm not even wearing a tie.
I'm kidding.
Maybe I won't wear it then.
I mean, you do you.
Have you done a fun buttonhole?
What are you doing?
You know, I get to wear a hat.
I got a pocket square.
I love fun.
I feel bad for boys.
You can't have as much fun as we can on days like this with our silly accessories.
Yeah.
Pocket square.
Yep, got a little brooch or whatever it is.
Yeah, yeah, a little brooch.
But yeah, I've gone.
It's a actually I'm pretty sure it's from your wedding.
What is it?
The dementia pin.
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
It just hasn't come off.
That's amazing.
I'm wearing the same jacket.
I actually love that it's still a little.
I'm pretty sure that's where it's.
And that's really done a lot for me.
It's really special.
Yeah, it was all intentional.
And do you know what I've just realized, the color of Dementia Australia's logo is the color of the dress I'm wearing.
That feels very cohesive.
Geez, I hope it is that now.
Oh, yeah, better be that.
Jeez.
Can't say anything around Jess.
Latching onto it.
Have we met?
Could be a breast cancer one.
I'm not sure.
Oh, that'd be pink.
We'll see.
No, it's definitely blue.
At Dementia Australia.
Yeah, okay.
It is that one, yeah.
There you go.
Oh, that makes me really happy.
I should have not say anything.
And then brought up going, yeah, I did this to imagine.
your dress.
Totally deliberate.
Do you have the brownie points you would have got for that?
I would have believed that.
But yeah, I've got no tie this year because I don't love ties.
I like the idea that you'd put a tie on for the upstairs, which is a bit fancy.
Yeah, yeah.
Take the tie off and just keep doing like a costume change.
Yeah, do that.
Flooded with it.
Very annoying.
We did last year.
I can't remember upstairs is dressy.
I can't remember.
I might take the hat off for downstairs.
Yeah.
I can't remember every guy upstairs had ties on last year.
Yeah, but it was a bit of an older demographic, so they do cloth it up.
Yeah, yeah.
There was like some bloody white.
Yeah, there was some free coats.
Do you remember? There was... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Dad's not wearing a tie.
Oh, well, if your dad's not wearing a tie, though.
Yeah, no, shy, what you do? No, you wear your tie. I'll bring it.
No, there's no one else is.
Oh, there'll be people there in them. That you want to...
Oh, yeah, don't worry where we are. It's...
Yeah, yeah. They will.
I'll bring it.
No, this...
Yeah.
Let's put shy guy into the fashions on the field.
Yeah, obviously.
Yeah, obviously. But only if you're wearing a tie.
Oh, you're a tie.
We can't put a tieless man.
Oh, I'll surprise.
The person who rejected our invitations to celebrate today was Sweet Babs.
Have you said nup to the cup?
I'm getting my hair done yet.
Yeah, obviously.
She said look how ratty it is today.
It's ready to get done.
Look at it.
It's so dead.
I feel like you mustered up.
It just looks like any other day to me.
Hey.
You just let us in.
You just make it too easy.
Well, as we said, whatever you are doing today, we hope you have a good time doing it.
I hope you enjoy it.
I hope you get a half day or a day off.
We have a big show for you as well.
We've got Alfax, of course, all in your time, 7am and 8 am for $10,000.
We've got Babs' blog on the show today, my acting class, potentially.
On the show.
We've got a high controversy acting class today.
We do.
Do we actually put it out there?
If you can pick what's, what is a tad askew, you can, you know the scene.
You can potentially win Ricky Tickies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's making a challenge.
I didn't, yeah.
Anyway, we'll get into that a bit later.
Up next, though, we've got to discuss something that I'm not a fan of.
Something that I am a fan of.
Interesting.
Yeah, okay.
Morning boudoir sessions and productivity boosts, apparently correlated in a new study.
Jess and ducco.
Elisist in the country right now performing.
Absolutely, too rave.
Rave reviews.
It does look fun.
I do wish I would.
God. One of my friends went to the gig and she goes, I only know Wonder War,
but I just want to be a part of a cultural moment. She goes, it's one of those moments.
It's a history. Champagne Supernova would have been a bob.
Anyway, where do we stand on Morning Glory and the team? I'm personally not a fan.
The last thing I do when I wake up is want any part of that.
Because you've sweated overnight. I feel uncomfortable. I need to go to the toilet.
I just want to wake up.
Don't hate it.
Yeah, same with my wife.
Don't hate it.
In fact, she prefers it.
Agreed.
I, you know, tired by the end of the day.
And once I've done my skin care, don't must me up.
You know what I'm saying?
Don't touch me.
I don't want to get sweaty and sweat off my $80 serum.
Whereas the morning, free and easy baby.
Yeah, you're good to go.
Unfortunately, obviously I'm in the similar situation with Morgan.
I have a partner who does not care for it.
Maybe it's a guy thing.
Because it's a, I want to brush my teeth.
Yes, I feel dirty.
I want to do this.
I want to do that.
I'm like, we're losing the momentum.
If you go brush your teeth now, I have to go brush my teeth.
Well, don't get me wrong, probably speaking on behalf generically here of the dudes.
Like, if the opportunity to present itself, you'll find a way.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
It's nothing more rejecting than you go, aren't you meant to be stereotypically speaking?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The go-to.
More up for it.
Yeah.
New little NSFW action at sunrise has got productivity better and positions for people who work the 9 to 5.
So full-time workers who have sex before work in the morning
had the highest levels of productivity.
71%, task completion, 70%.
They're 58% more focused, 57% more motivated, and 55% more job satisfied.
Well, Ducco, would you say it's the equivalent of doing a workout?
Yeah, it would be.
You're achieving something.
Yes, all the data around training in the morning about getting the endorphins going,
about getting serotonin pumping, about getting cortisol lowered.
Yeah.
The equivalent is applied to...
Look at you.
Look at you with your exercise and knowledge.
Pre-gim at work.
Bang!
I've listened to a couple of podcasts in my time.
So one in five Aussie workers who have morning sex
so that they receive a promotion in the past year,
which is higher at any other time of the day,
study experts.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Half of the workers, sorry,
who have morning sex have received a rise in the past year.
There you go.
So it's saying,
in more ways than one, am I right?
Hey, there she is.
So it's basically saying the people who do it,
you might be right.
It's the cortisol.
It's the morning routine.
They get it done.
They go to job.
Starting your day right.
Say your day right.
Breakfast is the most.
bought a meal of the day.
Bit of breakfast sausage?
Come on, what else you got?
Someone else, chip in with one.
I can't be doing all the work here, shy God.
I'll do one for someone on.
Chipillardas?
Come on, Babs.
Chip in, what are you got?
What do you got?
I don't have anything.
You know why?
Never wants to have fun.
Why?
Because you've got to do it in the morning.
What are you stand on it?
I don't know.
Don't ask me questions like that.
How early would we need to get up, Ducco?
Because you know I've been going to the gym before the show.
If I'm doing the dirty before that.
Jeez, you've got to get 2 a.m alarm to do the D&T.
And then is their point.
And then go do the Stairmaster.
Jess and Ducco.
It's the first week of November, Ducko.
It's Tuesday, and yet I have another dilemma with the team.
Oh, no.
I brought you one yesterday where I've gone against Shy Guy's fashion advice for our Melbourne Cup function today.
And the guilt I held on to that of not taking his recommendation.
I thought...
Well, he didn't send us his fashion yesterday that he got.
And you know why?
It's retribution.
He goes, well, you're not going to listen to me.
Why would I listen to you?
Who gave you the advice to get the Greenblazer yesterday?
The lady at the shop.
What shops do you go to?
Connor.
So you trust the random lady at Connor over your pal.
Yeah.
I don't know how we're going to recover from his...
Tomorrow's dilemma, everyone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll see.
But now...
You're lucky you're on coming to Melbourne Cup, Babs,
because you would have said something today,
No doubt to be on the show tomorrow.
Well.
Well.
Here we go.
I'm going to give you a scenario.
I want you to remove any idea you have over who's involved.
Are we jumping into the therapy tent, are we?
I think it's a great idea.
Okay, hold on it's just.
Oh no.
I need a safe space.
Oh, there we go.
Don't put any expectation on who you think's involved.
I'm just going to lay out the facts.
Okay.
I want your take.
You get a message, text message from a friend, a close friend.
I'd say in your inner circle.
The message reads, hey, any interest in, insert show.
Oh, yep.
I have two tickets.
That's the message you receive.
Okay.
Do you, A, interpret that message to mean I am giving you two tickets.
Or B, I have two tickets.
I'll be one of the tickets.
Do you want to come with me?
Oh.
I interpret that.
So if you said, hey, Ducco, any interest in, let's...
Let's say Dave Hughes.
We'll give a comedian.
Hey, Ducco, any interest in Dave Hughes?
I have two tickets.
I would interpret that that I'm getting the two tickets.
Damn it.
I think so.
Shy guy.
How would you interpret that message?
That A, I'm giving you.
you two tickets or B, I have two tickets.
I'm going to be one of the tickets.
If you said, hey, I'm going to Dave Hughes, I've got a spare ticket or I've got two
spare tickets.
I appreciate that.
But Shai Guy, with those facts I've given you, how do you interpret that message?
You've got two tickets.
Bastard.
I text Babbs yesterday, Duck, I text Babs yesterday.
Yep.
Hey, Babs, any interest in?
Slat bit, hey.
I have two tickets.
And what show is it?
Don't worry about it.
Well, that's a huge part of the story.
Yeah, but her response is kind of insulting,
so I don't want to shame.
Copy, copy, copy, copy, copy, okay.
It was, bitch.
Can't turn the mics off.
Any interest?
All right, I'll turn the mics off.
Tell me.
Okay, yeah, don't say it.
Definitely don't say it.
Yesterday.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Babs, any interest in seeing?
Yeah.
I've got two tickets.
I get this response,
I go, hmm, I think I'll pass on these.
Thanks for thinking of me.
And I went,
and I went,
brutal, man.
Like, she doesn't want to hang out with me.
Because my intention was,
I'm one of the tickets.
Oh, so, so, so, like, you and her.
God, you've worded that, you've worded that horribly.
Yeah, it was crazy, right?
You should have said,
hey, I've got a spare seat to this.
I'm going, do you want to come?
Because I've interpreted that that you,
You've got two tickets to give Babs.
Sorry, Ducko.
Yeah, yeah.
Why would I just give Babs two tickets?
Because you might have had spare because you're hooked up, man.
You got the resources.
Maybe you didn't want, like, you couldn't go.
That's how I interpreted.
Why wouldn't I have said I can't go?
Well.
I just, it sounds, it sounded to me like you were already going and you already, and you
have two spare tickets as well.
I can't believe I have stuffed this up so much because I'd say.
Do you invite people with tickets much?
If it was me and I was texting, I would have said, hey, Babs.
Well, now that I've been rejected from Babs, I am looking for someone to come with me.
Did you do it?
Funny about this is I was dead asleep
and then Jess is obviously like spiraling about it
and I like woke up and there's like three messages
from her about it and I was like
oh I stopped up
dissect it with Angus I went
oh my God what would Angus say? He was like
I had you word it and then did you tell it
I did and he went well that sounds like
you're giving her to
Jess and Ducko
For anyone who's ever said macas spicy isn't real spicy
We've got Franks red hot and macas have gotten
together to spice up the McWings
and it crispier and of course the already mix
spicy burger of the red hot sauce.
Have you had it?
Not yet.
This has got my name written all over.
You love a bit of space.
I like a bit of space.
But I also then like to have some ranch on the side.
Yeah.
To call the spice.
Good play.
It's all balance, baby.
6 or 7.
Oh, no.
Oh, did I use it correctly?
I don't know.
We're no sooner to knowing.
I feel stupid.
Yeah.
Limited time macas.
Getting well, it's spicy.
We did do the 6-7 chat.
If you missed the video, you can see it on the Jess and Ducker, Instagram.
Yeah, we were schooled by a couple of kids,
who I'm going to say,
don't really get it either.
No, no one gets it.
That's the funniest part about it.
I was yelled at by a 12-year-old girl.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was trying to relate to the dude,
and he just still told me the exact time,
not the, yeah.
It was a funny video.
Check it out on our socials.
Up next, though, speaking of funny,
you got some bomb gear for me.
Oh, absolutely.
Shy guys got some bomb gear.
Shy guys.
Oh, yeah.
You got me to do it.
Mr. Bureau of himself.
Actually, you know, who's the Bureau?
We can't get to do it because she's doing someone after that.
But Babbs loves the weather.
She knows what the weather is going to be for weeks in advance.
Now I know we're just pointing fingers on each other.
We're like the Spider-Man meme.
I reckon it's you.
Remember, you used to have to do the weather.
You're the weather.
Yeah, today's show.
Hang on.
Hang, whoa.
Chance of showers.
What have I told you?
Say chance of showers.
You're never wrong.
All right.
Partly cloudy.
Chats of showers could be a good day, though.
Here's me in a coconut bra.
Watch me dancing.
We'll decide.
Because you can't get the weather on your phones.
We'll decide who's going to bring you the bomb update on the other side of this.
You reckon if you spent $86 million on something, you'd hope it was a success?
You'd hope it was good.
If you're spending that much money on it, geez.
I reckon if I spend $100 on something, I'd hope it was a success.
Absolutely.
You know, if I'm paying $100 at the hairdresser or for eyelash extensions, you'd go, I hope this is good.
100%.
If I buy a $30 bottle of wine, if I go, I'm like, man, this thing better be nice.
because I spent $33
on this.
We're in a cost of living crisis.
I put my hard earn towards this.
And God forbid, it's been months in the making.
$86 million is how much it cost to redesign.
Very good friends of ours, the bomb.
The Bureau of Meteorology.
The Bomb?
To redesign their website, Duckow.
Now, one thing I want to flag with you.
Remember they didn't want to be bombed for a while?
Call us the Bureau.
Everyone's like, shut up.
I think they tried to like trademark the Bureau and punish you if you called the bomb.
And everyone went too late, man.
Know what you are.
This is the equivalent of you trying to give yourself a nickname.
It's not going to stick.
The nicknames that stick are the ones that are bestowed upon you.
Agreed.
But, Shai, correct me if I'm wrong.
This was a redesign of the website.
Yeah, so they made the website to look more like the app, which they redesigned a few months earlier.
That's what I wanted to get to.
Who's going on to bomb.com.com.
And not using the app.
Yeah.
I only use the app.
I only use the app.
I don't think I've ever really been on to the website.
So for $86 million.
to revamp a website,
I hope they did some market research
into how many people
are genuinely on their computer.
Because what they need to do is
they need to sort the app out.
Sometimes the map and the app's like,
oh, these scattered showers,
there's no rain about it.
It's pissing down rain.
You're like, hang on a minute.
What's happening here?
This is Karen from mean girls going,
I think it's raining.
Look outside, sis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's raining.
This is what I say to the bomb.
But $86 million on redesigning things like
the color coding.
So they changed hail.
What are you laughing at?
You have mean girls,
for everyone.
Thank you so much.
And the full actual...
I know, the full...
Thank you for not mentioning you.
I was hovering.
Everyone was laughing and I was like...
Sorry, Jess.
You got to crack up down.
Everyone got it.
Sorry, sorry.
And Karen squeezes her boobs.
It was the fuck.
Better.
They changed things like the color coding of hail, for example.
Yes.
Now, Hale, that's a very significant weather event, would you not say?
Absolutely.
So that was in red.
They changed it to yellow and everyone got very confused.
So if Hale got a serious...
Oh, you're just red for?
feels worse and then yellow.
It feels worse.
And also, we're trained to know red is bad when the bomb's talking.
Yeah.
Can't change colour things like that.
It'd be like changing the traffic lights.
We're like, reds go now.
You're like, what?
You can't do that.
Yeah.
Whole cities were not available to Google or to look up.
Isn't a funny Google is just the predisposed for search.
People were typing in their postcode or typing in their area just wasn't repairing.
It's like if you're going to be the bureau, you better cover the whole country.
You've got to do it.
Because if I'm logging on to bomb.com.
I need to know what's going on in my area.
Absolutely.
So after a week.
and a whole bunch of criticism, they're changing it back.
So all that money just out, gone.
I don't know things about tech, but why did it cost 86 million?
For a website.
Do I need to get into coding?
Do I need to be a website designer?
Obviously, you know, with the viewer and the weather and stuff like that,
there's some nerds out there charging way more.
Absolutely.
And I'm not questioning a web designer's charges because I don't know how to do it myself.
No.
So if you say it's $86 million, I go, okay.
Who you need to question is people that have green lit this
and then didn't look at it and didn't realize
everyone uses the app.
And then went, oh, absolutely.
This is, again, someone going,
oh, my God, I got my idea over the line.
Now I need to execute it.
They did a pitch.
The CEO said, yep, we'll take that.
And they went, uh-oh.
And it's like, oh, here's a check for $86 million.
Make it happen.
Oh, it sucks.
Change it back.
Let's get back.
We feel like us with Alfa Bucks.
You know, we moved it from 6.30 to 7.
We got one complaint.
We got one complaint.
Get it at 7.
Jess and Ducko.
Hey, it's Babs.
And this is my book.
Commence Operation Superstar Bratsley
Babbs is in studio
Good morning
Looking very cute today by the way
Thank you
I think I wore this shirt on Friday
But that makes me feel better
I didn't know
You know
Looks great
I didn't know
It does look great
What you've done a shog of I said
You look very cute today babes
I would have went
Excuse me
What's an adjective you'd like
From boys
Like I can get away with Q
But what would
I don't know
Just like yeah
Drop dead sexy
Yeah
Yeah okay
Noted
Moving forward I'll do that
pocket-jacking now.
Right.
Here we go.
My life has been changed by Sex in the City.
Welcome to the Fall Babs.
This is 24.
You didn't grow up with SATC.
No, no.
Sexless is one of the great shows.
Well, I didn't know this.
I'm Samantha.
Well, yeah, actually, that checks out.
Yeah.
The past mom.
Whoa!
Dine your bush orange
You gotta try things, Babs
You try whatever you can
You only live once Babs
If that isn't the lesson from sex in the city
I don't know what it is
Well that's the thing
I feel like I've just learnt so much
That sounds so ridiculous
What an education
Here we go
Oh my God
It was going around on my TikTok
That like it was starting to trend
And I started seeing sex in the city
Because I haven't watched it before
And basically girls were saying
If you're seeing this you should watch it
Because it kind of comes to you when it thinks you need it
Oh, my God.
It's serendipitous.
It's like, it's entered your life.
Because really the algorithm.
No one knows how the algorithm works.
So it's the universe going, Babs, you need sex in the city.
You need some Carrie Miranda Samantha and Charlotte.
Yes.
So then I started watching it and I was like, oh my God.
Like this is the best thing that I've ever watched in my life.
What are some of the lessons you haven't taken away?
That your girlfriends are everything.
And that like men, goodbye, you know.
Oh, we're on a mandate train, all right!
Sorry, Duck, I'm Samantha still.
Sorry, can we just circle back?
Your girlfriends were everything.
Remember when I invited her to join me at a show?
And she was like, no, thanks, I'll pass.
I do remember that.
You don't know to the context of that.
I read the message wrong, obviously.
I'm pretty sure you called her a bitch.
But anyway, let's move forward.
Girls, say everything to each other.
So who's who in the team?
Is that what you want to do?
I'm Samantha.
Let's do that.
That's fun.
I'm Samantha.
So who's Carrie?
Oh, that's the biggest insult of 22.
Is it?
Actually, she did make me laugh a bit in the last season, but that I was like, actually...
So shy guys, Carrie?
No.
I think...
I haven't seen the show, so I'm not familiar.
A shy guy do you think is giving Charlotte?
Yeah.
Treadwife.
Tad wife.
Is that good?
A bit up tight?
Actually, yeah.
Yeah, he's Charlotte.
If it was appropriate for you, you would wear pearls.
You would expect expensive.
So that means one of you is the red-headed one?
Yes, who, when it was first released, Miranda did that, Miranda.
Miranda had the stigma of being like,
annoying and a ball buster and all that whereas in a 2025 lens she was one of my favorite
Miranda's the hero see when I grew up watching it she was annoying exactly I liked it
it's like classic flip of the lens I think I watched it back in the day on fox tell when
you know it would just come on all the repeat it was on all the time Fox 8 it was on the repeats all
the time and so it's just episodes you just see so many episodes yeah well there was six seasons
and I think I watched them all in like a month I've done you finished the entire show
I finished it it would have been old to start watching some of that it was when I first started I
I was like, oh, this is going to be tough
because I was getting used to that.
Like literally the cinematography or the content.
The sets?
Both.
Yeah, yeah.
Like Bradley Cooper's in it.
There's some big cameos.
John Boncho.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which character, which of the four ladies
did you most connect with, Babs?
Um, that's a hard one.
I actually really liked Miranda.
Yep.
But I also really like Samantha
because I just like that she was just.
Slave Queen.
She was.
She made me feel good.
Absolutely.
Get a girl.
Yeah.
So what you're teaching us is that,
That TikTok bats up algorithms that maybe your phone is listening to you and that you need in the time.
That's right.
That sex in the city will come to you when you need it.
You might not know you need it.
That's interesting though.
I kind of like that.
It's cyclical and it's come back just for old television, you know.
I don't mind that.
Yeah.
You know what we'll find, Jess, that, you know.
I know.
You're a big Golden Girls fan.
I actually love the Golden Girls.
That came back to you.
Yes.
Maybe Frasier will come to you, Duffer, when you're open and when the timing is right.
It's never been right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, we haven't worked out
who's Kerry out of you two.
No, and I'm nervous because she's just claimed Miranda.
It's actually just to tear each other apart.
I'll claim Carrie.
Does that mean, I can be Miranda?
You can be Miranda.
You're such a great friend.
That's okay.
Goal for everything.
And just like that.
So do you want to come to that show with me or not?
Yeah.
Yeah.
30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.
I have to take your first answer.
You cannot use the same answer twice.
And if you're unsure of the question, say pass.
We come back if there's time now.
We are planning for $10,000.
Our player today is Jude.
Hello, Jude.
Good morning.
It's not hello, Jude.
Oh, Merry Christmas, Jude.
No, it's crazy.
Thank you.
How we got it?
I was going to do it.
But then I thought that's too lame.
And I was going to find a song and I was going to play it.
I want to support that.
Ah, damn.
Hey, Jude.
How you doing?
Not too bad.
What brings you to the show?
Why do you want our $10,000?
Well, we play the game all the time at home,
and I need to cruise that I'm the queen.
Oh, just for your households?
Yes, for my family.
Good job.
Thanks.
How to make it active.
We have never had someone say,
I just want the glory.
Yeah, for the home.
Everyone has said,
Renaud, Holiday.
New Car, Bill's Christmas.
Oh, no, I want to buy a tiara.
One person said I want to buy a boyfriend for my Macaw.
They actually did do that.
But Jude, you just want the crown.
You want the tiara.
This is amazing.
So would you say, Jude, you can walk around like a princess?
Let's start with me.
God, God.
Yeah, here we go.
Jude's on.
Oh, my God.
Jude's on.
The song is for six minutes and 47 seconds.
I like Obla D, Obla Dar.
It's my favourite Beatles song.
Do you know that one?
Let's not get into that.
Jude, are you ready to go?
I'm ready.
Okay, all right.
I think it's shorter than six minutes.
Jude, you will write.
Your letters P, you are clearly switched on.
You clearly did not come to muck around.
Everyone sit up a bit taller.
Here we go.
Jude's in the house, baby.
Starting with letter P, Jude.
We need you to name.
A herb.
Just freak off.
A zoo animal.
Kid me elephant
A TV show
A paradise loss
A fashion brand
A car part
A car part
A male actor
A car
A fruit
A pear
An instrument
A pickleau
An adverb
A Proudly
We're after the buzzer there, so I can't take it.
Look, we got five with question marks.
There was a few question marks.
Like, pigmy, elephant.
I didn't give you that.
I'm going to have to look that up.
I didn't give you that.
I did give you the TV show, though.
Paradise Lost.
I'm going to have to look that up, though.
I don't know.
You sounded confident.
If you didn't get that, you got yourself four.
If you did, you got yourself five.
A fashion brand could have been Prada,
A car park could have been the old pedal
Or the petrol tank
For me I would have gone to piston personally
You're a big piston guy
Huge piston dude
And I think ducko I think pistons
A piston man
It is a TV show
So you do get it
So you did get yourself five
Hopefully you can hold that with some pride
At your family dinner
I don't know if you can Jude
Yeah
Five
Five
You told me you were the Queen
Yeah
I thought I was
Yeah
Advert you would have got
But it was after the buzzer
So look
That is that is you to hold your head up
Let's just tell him you got six
$100 a budgey
Smuggler, $100 a budget smuggler coming your way as well, just for playing.
Thanks, guys.
Have a great day.
Jude.
Hey.
You were delightful.
Your best, Jude.
No, no, no.
We're saying goodbye now.
So where's goodbye, Jude?
Goodbye, Jude.
So is that another song?
Hey, Jude.
Hey, dude.
You say hey again?
No, but I need to ask her a question.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, we're back in the conversation.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to let you go.
You're too fun.
I want to keep her as long as possible.
Well, don't.
You know how you get.
Yeah, I know.
You know, Jude.
What's your thoughts on Ricky Martin?
My thoughts on Ricky Martin.
Yep, that's what I asked.
Oh, I mean, I'm in my 40s, so he's an icon.
I bet.
You've actually got a chance to win tickets to Ricky Martin.
She had a poster on her wall at some state.
Here we go.
Alley, Alley, Alley, Alley.
Go, go, go.
Alley, Alley.
Tonight's the night.
We're going to celebrate the cup of life.
Alley, if you would like to sing along.
To the guy, that went for way too long.
They're way too long.
The sisters just supporting each other again.
There they are the sex of the city gals.
I was about to play this.
No, God.
No, God, please no.
Shot guy?
What do you think of?
I enjoyed it.
No, shut up.
No.
Every time you two high five, part of me dies.
You can shut up.
Part of me dies.
I just don't like it.
I don't like what that is.
We got Ricky Tickets.
We got Ricky Martin tickets.
I don't think anyone want to go because I think anyone likes Ricky.
Cup of Life.
It's the best World Cup song.
Play the anthems, Rick.
Do you ever call him Rick?
Rick Martin?
Doesn't it change his persona?
Is that his real name?
Rick Martin.
I want to just have a shout out.
The woman didn't leave her name, but we got a text 048-8-106.
I always text the show.
A woman messaged us and said,
Jess, you're going to love this.
My husband's name is Ricky Martin.
Oh, yes, yes.
And she said pretty sure he's the only one.
And I don't know if she's being serious because it's not the strangest of names.
It isn't.
You know, Martin could be a common surname.
Exactly.
And like, I think Ricky, like that Ricky is probably Ricardo,
because obviously he's Puerto Rican, but it's like Richard or...
Well, his real name's Enrique Martin, Morales.
There you go.
But then there was Enrique Anglesia, so he couldn't be Enrique.
He had to be a Ricky.
Surely Ricky Martin was around before Enrique.
Come, I couldn't tell you.
I've exhausted my knowledge on both of them.
Would you like me to keep singing?
No.
I can do shake your bonbon if you're like.
You don't have to, you don't have to listen to Jessing.
You can be there.
13, 10, 60.
Get involved right now.
We're asking where did you sneak in, or what did you sneak into?
I love someone who snuck into a concert.
Snuck into a gig, maybe.
I have a great story, but this goes to the Australian Kangaroos game
versus England and the Ashes for the Rugby League overseas right now.
Remind me, Ducker.
Yeah.
Who are the Kangaroos?
Rugby League, Australian Rugby League.
Australian Rugby League.
Yeah, yeah.
So representatives from all the NRL teams to represent the country.
It's like the only time you can go for Reese Walsh as well because he's part of the Australian team.
You know what I mean?
I'm a big fan of the plumber.
Huge play.
Come a gal.
Huge.
So, they were best.
It was the second test in Liverpool.
Now, this guy, Daniel Jarvis, this happened on the weekend, obviously, just gone.
Jarvis is no one on social media at doing this before.
So he is basically a pitch invader, but he does it.
He doesn't just run on and streak or anything like that.
He runs on wearing the kit.
Sometimes he, I don't know how he does it.
He evades the security so much.
He wears the exact kit of whatever team's coming out.
So he's done it at the Olympics, he's done it at the Paris Olympics.
He's done it at international football overseas.
And he's done it to cricket matches before, like big ashes cricket matches.
So he's an Aussie guy.
He gets his hands on the uniform.
So he's got his hand on like a replica jersey.
He somehow, because what he's been done for, he's been done for, where does it say?
What, like crimp family?
Yeah, yeah, suspicion of possession of articles for use and fraud and fraud by false representation.
So he clearly must have some, he clearly must have some fake sort of ID, gets into the bowels of the stadium.
Does he do the runout with the team?
Yeah, so what he did for this one just gone, you see him standing next to the team.
So when they film the teams for the anthem and they start at the Aussie team and they
film from the end up. He's standing next to Cameron
Munster, who's standing at the end, and
you can see him with his arm around Munster singing
the anthem, and Munster's there like, you know,
Munster's not the smartest tool of the shed as it is.
Apparently, this guy, after the game, Ken Munster was
interviewed about it and he said he tried to get, this
Jarvis guy, tried to get between Munster and Pat Carrigan,
and Munster said, no, he just presumed it was
someone who'd won like a corporate package
or like a make-a-wish thing
or something like that, so he's just like... And you're not calling
that out. If you have any inkling, it's
a charity thing. Exactly. You're not
Going security, because that's way worse.
So he's just letting him do it.
So he's got his arm around Munser for the whole anthem.
You see him as they, it went viral over the weekend.
Yes, and of course.
But you see him there as the camera's panning.
He's singing.
He's singing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you can tell he's looking behind him in case he gets tackled by security.
But by that stage, it's too far gone.
And you don't want to distract on the end.
It's obviously a very momentous thing in any game, the start of it.
So you don't want to rattle the players.
You don't want to crash tackle him, potentially hurting a player.
So he got a way.
with it. They sung the anthem. He was all fine. He didn't
get pulled up till the very end when he got arrested.
Did he try to play? He never goes that far.
But he walked out in, I think
the cricket, he walked out in pads. Like he had
something like that. And he's done
it for the Olympics as well. He's about to take a
bat. Yeah. And big soccer games
over there. It's pretty crazy how he keeps
doing it. And on the back of his jersey, he's just got
Jarvis. Oh my God. So he's absolutely
not even trying to blend in.
I don't know what the, he obviously keeps getting
banned from specific stadiums. This one was in Liverpool.
He hadn't been banned from that yet. But now this is a
Criminal charge.
Yeah, criminal charge.
Yeah, yeah.
But begs a question.
Potential jail, maybe.
Could be.
Or is it fine?
I don't know.
I don't know what the ramifications are.
That's wild.
He's gotten that far.
The Kahones on him.
I know.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
13, 10, 6th though.
We're just thinking.
Now, Ducco.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mentioned concerts and gigs and your eyes lit up.
Yeah.
2007, Duff Punk a live world tour.
Helmetheads.
Helmet heads.
Hell the year.
Great tour.
Anyone who's a fan of Darth Punk will know that tour.
That was all time.
I was
maybe not just of age
and we snuck into it
it was a place in Brisbane where I grew up
and we literally...
Like a club?
No no it was an arena
and I had like outdoor fencing
me and my friends
jumped the fence to sneak in
my friend jumped
got his arm stuck in the fence
fell off disliked his shoulder
disliked his shoulder
so he gets caught
but here's the thing
when he's getting caught
we had to leave him
because we're all going in
we legged it
and he's shoulder out
with security
Tackling. See you later, buddy. Thanks so much. Thanks for coming. Thanks for causing the
distraction. Got to go in and see one of the greatest shows of all time. For free. For free, you know,
obviously 17, but for free. I'm not encouraging it. You know, be smarter than I was. Are you still
friends with dislocated shoulder? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's now just got his shoulder
the less times than I have. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. But a good sneak in is fantastic. Oh, I love
that. Has it been a festival. Did you where the hive is? Have you pulled that prank? Oh, you're
dragging a wheelie bin.
or carrying a ladder.
What did you get into?
We were, I was, was I emceeing an event.
I was working at an event at an old radio station where they'd put on like a big charity
concert.
So they had huge rock bands come together for one night.
And I was sort of liaison for the backstage and oh, do you guys need anything extra?
Can I do this?
Can I do that?
And we remember seeing this couple just walking around backstage who had lanyards on,
but we realized they were just black, like blank tags on them.
Nothing on them.
No one flagged it because we thought everyone backstage has obviously been accredited.
We found out they had just snuck in through the side door and wanted to mingle with dragon and spando ballet and whoever was performing that night.
They had just snuck in to mingle.
And we're in the green room with everyone having an icy cold can of beer with the crew.
It was amazing.
And I went, that's what you get for just having some bold brash cajones.
How big are the cajones?
How big are your cajones?
Do you have Enrique size cohone?
Those loose-fitting pants could not hide of the humongous go on it.
Jess and Ducko.
We're asking, where did you sneak in?
Jarvis, this serial sneak-in pest over in the UK,
snuck into the Kangaroos Australian Rugby League match
versus England in the ashes, two Dexter and Munster.
He's done it before.
He's done it in the cricket.
He's done it at the Olympics.
It's wild.
Yeah.
How many times he's gotten away with this?
He was in the anthem, singing it right next to Camusie.
I would argue victimless crime.
Yeah.
It's not like you hurt Munster.
No, no.
If anything...
Actually, who went on to win that game?
Australia.
Well, it didn't put them off, did it?
Did it?
Munster got man to the match.
Yeah.
Is he a good luck charm?
It could be.
Maybe that, geez, that's a way to spin it.
Now I want to look at, we'll do it ourselves.
Yeah, yeah.
Every place Jarvis has crashed, has that team, well, the Australian team in that
moment, gone on to win.
So I got Google that.
Did you say the Ashes?
He did it too?
Yeah, he's done it for cricket.
He's done it at the Olympics.
I don't know what specifically.
Yeah, I want to find out, because if he's got good juju.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The match results of Java's crashing things.
Please, whilst we do that, we'll go to Peter.
Good morning, Pete.
Good morning, boys.
How are going?
Mate, fantastic.
We're talking about sneaking in.
Have you done that, your cheeky bugger?
Yes, yes, back in the day.
A few events, but one that came to mind was the 1988 and the 1989 in our real grandfile.
How did you get into the stadium without a ticket?
So we were, four of us, my brother and a couple of other mates,
drove into the old football stadium back then
in his old Hudson 180B, dodgy car.
We were dressed as waiters.
Basically, the black pants, long white shirt, bow ties.
We just rocked up to sort of the area where, you know,
the caterer is and whatever else we drove up into the stadium.
This is early in the morning before the game.
Just drive up to the gate.
like that, look very official, right down the window.
Where are you guys from?
Brian's catering, mate.
Yeah, no problem.
There you go.
So in we drive, get a car parking area there.
We sort of go into the kitchen area,
take it out to all the chefs and everything.
We have a bag with us with our sort of normal clothes in there.
Just walk up, go to the lift, go up to the area, get changed.
And we've got a perfect seat for those both of these grandfinals.
Hang on, but you said you got a seat.
You got seats, Peter.
Wouldn't those seats have been allocated to a ticket holder?
Like, did anyone come and go, boys, you're in our seats?
Look, a bit of bars area.
Oh, yeah, yeah, like standing kind of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's genius.
Had you looked up catering companies?
Like, O'Brien's catering?
Like, was that of the gym company.
My brother was the research.
No one of the official catering.
Right, that is.
This is like the Louvre highest.
I love you're rolling in a shitty car.
You're rolling.
Oh, we're catering.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but if they come in a fancy car, wait.
Yeah, it's true.
on her fancy cars.
That's great.
Pete,
well done, Pete.
That's inspiring.
That's very good.
And no one got hurt.
No one got to see the final.
They didn't take seize.
They didn't make it awkward for anyone.
Chloe, your sister did the sneaking in.
Yes, she was about 16 or 17.
And obviously it wasn't old enough to go out.
So her and her friends decided to scale the side of a pub or a nightclub.
And got lifted over the balcony and was in there all night.
What do you mean?
She got lifted over the balcony.
balcony. Like, people just hoisted her up.
Yep.
Let me in, let me in. Do they just chuck her up? Like, how tall is she?
She was little.
Yeah. So they climbed up. There was like vines and stuff.
She climbed up the vines. I mean, that's one woman desperate for a boogie.
Yeah. I want to get in there and have a dance.
And also, it goes to show with your short friends. You can just chucking places.
That's her. Like a, you know, cheerleaders or whatever. You just a, whoop.
Oh, there you go. Fantastic. Thank you, Chloe.
We go to Mac on 13, 1060. Mac, Mac, where just
speak in. Hello, this too was the football related one. It was more the local league. There was
a grand final of the local league and we're lining up, me and 10 of our mates. And there's a lady
at the ticket at the ticket stand handing out tickets and all that sort of stuff. There was a bunch
of envelopes. And my mate actually read the top name on the envelope that said Peter Blackmore
on it. And so by the time we got there, Brooksie, shout out to Brooksie, he said, oh yeah,
it should be our thing back there for Peter Blackmore. So this lady's like, here go, you go
Peter, he ended over the...
No ID, Mac, not asking
for verification.
Come on through, guys.
Yeah, we didn't really know what was going on, but I was
next to Brooks and went, yeah, genius move.
Brooks is forever a legend
now in the circle.
Legend status, instant legend status.
What was this?
It was probably
mid-2000s, maybe.
That's fantastic.
Yeah, so we all sort of walked in.
All the other folks didn't know what was going on.
Walked in and Brooksie opened up the envelope and it just said to his new wristbands.
So obviously, yeah, handed all them out.
I went up, I slapped one on, went straight up to first bar and waved at the chick.
She said, you've got to go down there and sit under the goalpost in that fancy tent.
So we went down there.
Me and another mate went down there and, yeah, sat in the tent, wade their wristbands.
Come on in, guys.
And we just got fed beers, canopets.
Oh, what a day.
Hang on a minute, Mac.
When Peter Blackmore arrived at that roll call.
I'm Peter Blackmore.
And obviously can show her.
an ID or whatever, do you know, I don't know why you'd know this, but did he end up getting in?
Yeah.
Or is he now hearing this going, oh my God, that was me, all those years ago.
We didn't actually know who he was.
Nah, fair enough.
Yeah, so we googled it up.
He ended up being the mayor of the opposing town.
You stole the mares.
Yeah, stole the mares, wristbands, spent beer and ate crabs all day.
What, air and crows?
Did you get a photo at least with the mayor?
Like, mate, we got your wristbands, Peter.
And the fact that...
A little deep in these while that stage is.
Yeah.
That's so good.
That's great.
What a legend.
That is, that's fantastic.
Shout out to Brooksie.
Brooksie, you're the man, Roosy.
Also, apparently Jarvis has crashed.
Tested at the over between England and India.
One day test as well.
He's done a couple times.
Hang on. India and England?
Yeah.
So not even going for the Australian game or whatever.
But the opposition won both times he did that.
Okay.
He's not a good luck, Chuck.
Okay.
Fair enough.
Babs, stop crying. I need energy.
Just stop eating on camera.
Rolling camera, rolling lights, rolling audio.
Focos, acting class.
And action.
Salutation.
Ah, salutations, my fair, Thespians.
Good morrow to you.
Good morrow.
This is the time.
As usual, I'm the only one in the freaking class.
Good morrow.
Good morrow.
I still don't know how to reply.
Say good morrow.
Good morrow.
Thank you.
He's texting.
He's texting.
Who you texting?
Our boss.
What's it?
We're late.
What's the matter?
Come on.
Call the web, you'll ask.
Come on, out, reveal.
Other things.
Okay.
All right.
Pretty little boo phone.
Who was that?
Shabuzi?
I don't know.
I can remember the artist.
It's right to go to the title.
Pretty little boo thing.
Jeez, that's going to kill me.
Not Shabuzi.
Oh, geez, that's going to kill it.
Little.
Little.
God damn it.
Now it was sidetracked.
Sorry.
We're not even there.
Paul Russell.
Paul Russell.
There we go.
We all got it.
God, we're having a day today.
How do we go from Lil something to support?
Oh, I know, God.
That's who you're seeing Little Boothane.
Little Boothay.
Back on task.
Hey, I'm the teacher.
I'm the teacher.
Listen, good morrow.
Students.
Good morrow.
Thank you.
Gold star for you.
Again, only one.
Oh, good morrow.
Thank you.
God.
Damn it.
No, I'm like to put it away.
Do you want to be here, mate?
Yes.
We're doing a scene from She's the Man.
I pick this movie because it's like two out of the three of you's favorite movie.
I love.
You and Shagga, I love it. Amanda Bynes at her peak.
Yeah.
Amanda Bynes dressing up as a dude so she can make the soccer team because they don't play soccer at the uni.
She goes to the school, they drop the girls team and she goes, but I'm desperate to play.
I'm going to dress up as my brother, Sebastian.
Wear a wig, be put in the boys' dorm and get to play.
That's you.
You're Viola slash Sebastian.
Thank you very much for the honour.
Shagga, you're in love with Viola, but roommates with Sebastian.
you play Duke the Confused Jock.
Channing Tatum.
Yes, and Babbs, you're Toby, the clueless sidekick.
Awesome.
You can be southern.
I want you to be southern in this.
Well cast, Territah.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so, so much.
Now, this is, I will, like, Shagga, didn't know how much he loved this movie.
He can't even angry at me about the specific text of this.
This is blending in a couple of scenes.
He assumed you sat down every night, watched the movie, and furiously transcribed it, like you were a court stenographer.
That's what Chachy PT is for.
Unfortunately, Shagga, that's not what he's done.
So are you going to be okay to proceed?
It'll be like a screen test.
It's exactly right.
It evolves, yes.
So this is just a, it's the tampon scene.
Basically, you've got a tampon, yes.
The other two haven't seen it, but you're meant to be a guy.
That's right.
While we've got a tampon, what can it be used for?
Exactly.
You're climbing it's for nosebleeds.
That's right.
Okay, let's take out.
Good morrow.
Good morrow.
Good morrow.
Oh, good morrow.
Ah, good morrow.
Good morrow.
And action.
Sebastian, emergency.
My sister left this in my gym bag.
Girls drop these up their nose when they bleed, right?
Toby, why are you yelling about your sisters?
Whatever that is.
Get out! Get out! This is the men's room!
Dude, you're being weird all awake.
Here, quick tutorial.
Step one, pull string. Step two, jam.
I'm not watching that jam tutorial.
It's...
European nose plug for altitude training.
Very cutting edge.
Joke, you have the biggest nostrils demo it.
Bro, personal bubble.
That's just...
That thing just ricocheted off my jersey.
Tampo lands on the floor.
All three stare at it.
Five second rule.
Real men recycle.
Nose plugs.
So when do we shove?
You've been acting like a dude with a secret since day one.
Spill.
Viola drops.
Octave 2 invoice.
Secret?
I'm 100% dude.
Preel fix it.
Don't cut in.
Don't cut in.
You cut off.
Don't steal the scene.
Take that line again, please.
Thank you, director.
Secret?
I'm 100% dude.
Watch.
Proof accepted.
Okay, new plan.
Whoever catches me gets to learn the ancient art of
nose plug foo.
Wait
Out of the feet
I feel like
Cut
I feel like your accent's distracting
You've gone too heavy with that accent
I know I'm meant to be the star of the scene
And I feel like Toes stole it
You got a scene stealer
You got a classic scene stealer
When you give me clueless sidekick
I'm not going to just run with that
Excuse me
Oh you gave depth to your character
Yeah
What was your motivation today?
Very southern
Southern
Hey well done all
Not our best word
But at the same time
A good adaptation
of an adaptation.
I think Amanda Bynes would be proud of it.
Jess and Ducko.
Just quickly, a bit of fun.
I thought I had to share it with you.
I wasn't going to, but then I decided, ah, why not?
So on the weekend, just gone, my wife had a hens party for one of her friends.
It was local.
They went on a wine tour, and they came back, and I drinks, yada, yada.
Now, at this specific hens, she probably only knew about three people, including
the hen herself.
Okay.
So when you don't know that many people at a hens, there's obviously, or a box or whatever
it is, there's obviously two ways you can go about it.
One is you lean so far in that you launch and you get pretty drunk.
And the other is you don't.
There's the danger of who's this girl?
Yeah, well.
Like, who do you think you are?
Well, or you become a wallflower.
Yep.
And probably don't have the best time.
Morgan went into the who's this girl territory.
She launched.
She took it to the moon.
Now, pardon me.
Yeah, yeah.
That's unlike her.
Um, is it?
Oh, look.
She's not a attention seeking person.
No, no, no, it wasn't that.
She just wanted to, I think she just had a few drinks.
It just wanted a vibe.
She was just setting a vibe.
I love this for her.
By all reports, I think she was the MVP from what I've been messaged by a fair few people.
I love this for her.
They started at 11 a.m.
She didn't get home until nearly 11 p.m.
And she was...
That's a solid 12 hour for a postpart of woman.
For a mom, right?
A new mom.
We've probably only been drunk four times since Flo has been born.
Maybe if that.
Yes.
And she had, obviously, had a big day.
You could tell us the messages were coming in.
I was trying to stay up for her, but I've put Flo to bed.
And I'd been on Daddy Daycare all day.
so I was kind of pretty tired.
I'm pooped.
I'm pooped.
She comes home, and I see her, she stumbles in, whatever, we're chatting.
And then she, all of a sudden, like, I go to sleep.
I think she's asleep next to me.
Cut to, like, 2 a.m.
She says one of the most classic, like, new parent lines that you'll ever hear.
She's just gone to the toilet to vomit, obviously, because she was just so sick.
Just to purge.
Yeah, just to, yeah.
I was like, purge your sin, sweetie.
She was so sick.
How those Midori illusions taste in coming the other way up.
Now the last two times.
She's gotten on the sore.
She's vomited.
So now she's very scared of it.
Yes.
And then she wakes me up and it's like 2 a.m.
She's like,
I was like, what's wrong?
Like, what's happened?
Like, what's going on?
She's like, I'm a bad mom.
Oh.
And I was like, oh my God, you're drunk.
You're not a bad mom.
This is called a hangover.
You've had plenty.
Let's go to bed.
Was she thinking because she'd been away for 12 hours or because she
knew she'd be, for the next day.
Yeah, the next day.
Because then the next day she was, she was so, yeah, she was cacted.
She was tired.
She was sick.
She was slow.
Like, it's fine.
I've been there.
And, like, everything was fine.
I was like, Morgan, Flo is not going to know that you've been drunk.
And trust me, she hasn't even vomiting.
No, you can't.
What do we say, Morgan?
You can't pour from an empty cup, queen.
Yeah.
You need to look after you.
Oh, the next day, how many times did I hear, I'm never drinking again?
And I was getting all these text roll in from friends who were there being like, so,
Morgan threw food on the carpet.
Then Morgan jumped on me.
What I'm hearing is Morgan has some bills to pay the next day.
Jess and Ducko in the morning.
Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on hit.
30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.
Have to take your first answer.
You can't use the same answer twice.
And if you're unsure of the question, you can say pass.
Of course, we come back if there is time.
We are playing for $10,000.
Now, we asked Babs.
We said, find up.
the dregs, Babs.
That's right, because at 7 o'clock we had Jude, who came with so much confidence,
she convinced to us, she had it in the bag.
We thought, here we go, we got a player.
Didn't even say what she wanted to spend the money on.
She just wanted the glory to finally prove she's the queen.
Yep.
She got four.
She got four.
It wasn't very good.
No.
Shana, good morning to you.
Good morning.
Do you rate yourself at this game?
No, I love Babs' confidence.
I'm in it for the money, but...
Oh, I see.
But we're going to give it a go.
Okay.
So you've got very really serious.
realistic expectations that maybe you crap.
Maybe, yeah.
We practice every morning on the school ride in the morning.
Ah, see, there you go.
She's got no ego, but she's got experience and practice.
We did ask for dregs, so, you know.
Yes, Shana.
What would you like to spend the money on?
We are heading to Barcelona next year.
My son's doing a soccer camp, so it'll go to that.
Hell yeah.
I'll get you some Patatas brothers.
Go see Sagrada Familia.
That is a hell of a city.
Oh, I love this adventure for you, Shana.
I'm sorry, I don't know a Barcelona thing
or even a Spanish thing starting with H.
I mean, Haman starts with a J.
That sounds like a H.
Anyway, your letter's H, Shana.
Okay, thank you.
You're very welcome.
Are you ready to rock?
Let's give it a crack.
Absolutely, it's all we can ask.
All right, good luck.
Your time will start after the first question,
starting with the letter H.
We need you to name.
A beer brand.
Hineken?
A sport.
Hockey.
A flower.
Hyson.
An animated movie.
Oh, home.
A type of weather.
Hot.
Something in the kitchen.
A...
Pass.
A board game.
Um...
A musical instrument.
Ah...
Oh my gosh.
H. H. H. H.
Pass.
An actor.
Oh, man, we did some hard ones early.
She was out the gates, man.
Out the gates to get yourself five.
Now, is it home is an animated movie?
Is that the alien one, Shana?
Yeah, that's the alien one.
I thought it was.
Okay, yeah, so you got yourself five.
Man, and quick five, too, with lots of time left to play with.
When you ripped out Hyacinth, into home, I went she's on.
We got a player.
Did you pay hot?
Yeah, I did.
Okay, fair.
Yeah, I mean, a type of weather.
It's hot.
I was probably looking for hailing or hurricane, but, you know, I'll say hot, human.
I mean, you can't say not.
You're right.
Something in the kitchen could have been honey or herbs, a board game.
Hungry kippos.
A musical instrument could have been the harp of the harmonica, and then an actor, Harry Stiles.
I mean, Henry Cavill, Hugh Jackman, there's a few.
Look, Chana, you look very close.
You got half, and half quick.
You don't get the money, but you do get $100 to spend a Pudgy Smuggler.
Cool, thank you.
Hey, they'll come in handy in Barcelona.
Beautiful beaches.
Indeed. Thank you, Shana. Good luck to your boy over at soccer camp.
Thanks so much, guys. Thank you.
We do play again tomorrow, 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock for $10,000.
I don't know what to ask for now, though.
Like, do we want people with egos or do you want people who don't believe in themselves?
Because neither.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway, trickery.
You want me to sing again?
No, I think we're good there, but we've got Ricky Martin tickets.
You can get involved next.
Do you get involved on the phones.
You could be seeing Ricky this weekend.
We're going to be asking, you fell.
What?
You embarrassed yourself.
You had a little whoopsie, daisy.
That's right.
It happens for the best of us.
Yes, it does.
You've had a little tumble.
You've gone ass over tit.
It's one of my favourite ways to say, you fell down.
You fell.
You had a fall.
We're because you're in good company.
One of the greats, Gavin Adcock.
Oh, Gad.
The caulk, ad caulk.
Adi boy.
What does he sing?
He's big in the country.
music scene, Ducco. And you and I, we're dance. We're dancing people. You love
Aussie hip-hop. So pardon us for being, unfortunately, not introduced to Gavin
until this moment. Not to be confused with Gavin McGraw? He's Gavin Adcock.
Gavin McGraw, or Gavin Dugraw, you mean?
That's absolutely what I was like, I know there's another Gavin. I couldn't quite
remember his surname. Gavin Degro is one of the great singers. Gavin would be one of the big
country music names. Like, Gavin, to me, inspires American.
Who's that?
Gavin de Grore.
Okay.
This is DeGraw.
Have you got any Adcock?
Not currently when I'm working on it.
Well, well, we can play Gavin DeGraw to give a sense of Gavin Adcock.
Gavin Adcock.
Both country.
Yeah.
Everyone's talking about Gavin Adcock today, Ducko.
He's 27.
He's performing live to thousands of his screaming fans, like Ricky will do this weekend.
He's singing his hit song Deep End.
The crowd's going wild.
Yeah.
He's got a bottle.
of what appears to be liquor in his hand.
Very country western.
A lot of swagger.
Yep, singing and drinking.
At the Burton Cummins Theatre in Winnipeg.
Then this happens, Ducco.
He can hit a crowd.
He slim, he tumbles, the mic hits some stage equipment.
He falls.
He's bashed around.
He gets right.
back up and he keeps on going.
Falling on stage is one of the most
embarrassing things. Like, remember when Jennifer Lawrence
sitting at the Oscars when she went up to collect her Oscar?
Fell on a dress falling up.
Up the steps in her beautiful Cinderella account.
Was it? Who fell recently, Duolipa or something like that?
I think you're right there. I think she's had a
slippy slip. Sabby cat? I think she's had
a slippy slip. She wears these
15 inch heels. Huge hills.
I can't imagine some of these women.
Oh, Gaga's fallen. Bionse's fallen because
these chicks are dancing
in these huge mega heels.
There's no wonder they trip.
I can't believe no one's catastrophically injured themselves.
But Gavin Adcock is the latest.
Oh, poor Gavin.
In a lineup of people who have fallen.
It's hence why we are asking.
Which fall?
Did he get back up and just keep going?
He got back up and now everyone's taken to his social media.
Obviously fans are sharing the vision being like, what a legend?
Look at him falling drink and do it again.
He's replying to people saying, ah, it happens with the Shuckers emoji.
Shagai, I know you're desperately trying to get some audio from his Instagram.
Have you been able to do it?
It's coming.
Okay, we'll get to it.
What a tease.
Oh, sorry, I missed that.
Let me tell you where I've fallen.
Have you had a little folly fall?
So I used to work overnight at a hotel.
Obviously, it's a 24-hour business.
Always someone needs to be manning the phones.
If you want a burger at 2 a.m.,
I'm there to take your room service order.
So I go on a break.
I think I went to the bathroom.
I'm coming back down the stairs to the rabbit Warren den that I worked in.
And I've gone absolutely, because I had to wear heels,
even though I was behind the scenes.
It's a five-star establishment.
You've got to look fancy.
I've rolled my ankle, slipped on the last step,
and absolutely knocked myself out.
No one's around.
I'm like, oh, it's okay, I'm going to get away with this.
Had a bit of a bruised ego, but it's all good.
Limp back to the office where I'm stationed.
60 seconds later, security buss in going,
oh, my God, Jess, are you okay?
Oh, they all saw it.
Because they watch all the CCTV and something had pinged,
like motion, movement in the bowels.
of the night, deaths of the hotel.
So it was caught on CCTV and then shared around the
office, you know, memo thing, being like,
look at Jess, having a little slippity d-a-
When someone falls, like, remember we did that thing a couple of years ago,
people falling on ring cameras or like the doorbell cameras?
What did you catch on the camera?
What did you capture on the camera?
Hold on, hold on.
Who's this? Gavin.
Adcock.
Not to grow.
No, this is on your mouth.
Yeah, this fits up.
Like a drink on stage, have a fall and keep going.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, I'd watch that.
Yeah.
So we've all done it.
We've all had a fall.
I'm relating to Adcock hard this morning.
My wife fell on the D-Flor and disiccated her knee at my sister's party.
That's a bad one.
Slipping on a thing of ice.
Can't look at a dance wall the same.
No.
Oh, she's in good company.
Me and Adcock.
Yeah, you and...
So 131060 for the Sticky Ricky Ticks.
Sticky Ricky!
Where did you fall?
You fell?
You fell.
Were you intoxicated?
Was it a sober?
Oh, that's the word.
Jess and Ducco.
Jess and Ducco.
13, 1060, we're asking,
you fell.
What?
This is Gavin Adcock.
Coke.
And I'm sure there's people going,
you don't need to tell me.
I've been a huge fan of Gavin.
Yeah.
Look, we don't have our finger on the pulse of the country scene.
No, and we can put our hands up and admit that.
Gavin Adcock, not to be confused with Gavin DeGrawl.
He's a 27-year-old country music scene.
Star performing in Winnipeg recently to crowds, thousands of his screaming, adoring fans.
He's out of tumble, he's fallen off the stage, smack the mic on the stage equipment so it sounded horrific.
He popped back up and he kept going.
People are applauding his tenacity.
He took to his Instagram the next day, Ducko, 801,000 followers to share this.
Well, a lot of y'all saw me bust my ass off the stage the other night, so I just wanted to show you.
you all the results of that.
That big old bruise right there.
Woo!
Shit.
And he smacks the bruise, which is just the most rock-star thing I've ever seen.
Sounds like Babs in any one of our acting classes.
Absolutely.
He's really leaning into the southern.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaking of, sweet Babs, have you fallen anywhere, Dahl?
I fall down the stairs all the time.
Yeah, you're a serial faller.
I could say that.
Just a little slippety-dudah.
Well, I did it twice at school.
Once was during religion and I accidentally yelled out the F word
and then my religion teacher came.
out.
She went, oh, how dame?
How many Hail Marys did you have to do to make up for that?
They were laughing.
They thought it was funny.
Okay, great.
And the second time I fell and my skirt came up, so everyone saw my undies.
Oh, no.
And then I started laughing.
Were they at least good undies?
Were you happy with them?
Were they like?
No, I think they were griny ones.
Oh, no.
Oh, dear.
See, you're in good company.
You're in a company.
I assume you took to Instagram like Gavin Adcock did and you really...
I'm actually one of your babs here when she fell.
Well, a lot of y'all saw me birthday.
my ass off.
Jenny.
Off in religion, class.
Off in religion, I said a.
Morning guys.
Morning, Jenny.
Hi.
Jenny.
Where have you fallen?
So my husband, we put the boat in at Soster, and I went back to car and was
coming back to get into the boat and high, like, volume place where people walk.
And anyway, I stepped to get into the boat and fully just went off over tip.
fully tumbled like
I'm not tiny
so what like
into the boat
you tumble or into the water
yeah
I'm not tiny
down
I went down
it doesn't matter
how well versed you are
with boats
oh that is treacherous
going from land
to rocking
vehicle
on water
that's
bad respect
yeah everyone's like
you can't come back
from that
well
so yom
you saw me your ass
of tin
we go to Joe
on Thursday
10, 60, Joe, you fell.
Where?
Joe.
Hi, Joe.
Joe.
Joe, I can hear you there.
There's not another Joe.
Okay, we're moving on from Joe.
Maybe she fell.
You could hear her breathing.
Joe, did you just panic?
Millie.
What about Millie, Millie?
Hello, how are you going, guys?
Oh, we're fantastic.
Mill, have you fallen?
Yes, I have quite humiliating.
So I was actually at a popular shopping center and fell down the escalator.
Oh, yeah, I fractured my left arm in three places, and I looked like the Wolverine had attacked my whole backside.
Of course, because that's all that, that, that's great.
Was it the stair escalator or was it just flat?
No, it was the stair one.
So now I have that avid fear of sand.
So I tend to take, you know, the elevator or the ones that don't have the stairs.
Yeah, the travel ladder.
Yes.
The actual fall or the people that had to congregate kind of around me until someone pressed the emergency stop,
because unfortunately it didn't just stop.
So then all these people were, like, coming down and having to kind of step over.
Yes, yes.
Because when you, you know, when people stop at the bottom of those,
or yes, in your instance, tumble, it's like, well, this thing's not moving and I'm on here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that's, yeah, that's horrifying.
Stuff in nightmares there.
Escalator.
Yeah, yeah.
We go, should we go back to Joe?
I would love to.
Yeah.
Okay.
Joe, are you there?
Yeah, I am.
Joe, Joe.
Right.
It was my, I felt.
on a party cruise boat on my hands night.
Oh, that's upsetting.
At least the excuse is it was your hands, right?
Like, that's the start of the show.
Oh, it was the best.
I was wearing platform Mary Jane's school shoes with like a school dress
and I had to get carried off the party boat.
I did that ligaments in both my ankles.
Oh.
How close to the wedding were you, Joe?
Two weeks.
My husband was not happy.
Oh, so what happened?
Did you have to like get crutches down the aisle?
No, I wore little flat like slippers like jiffies and then,
had to wear crutches at the reception.
Oh, but also
Henslight, worth it?
Oh, totally.
That's not of my love.
Jess and Ducco.
Olivia Dean.
Nice to each other.
Here breakfast.
Jess and Ducco with you.
It is 8.58 Tuesday morning.
Welcome to a team just about done in here.
You know how shy guy said a dangerous precedent last week
about just asking for favours on air?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because really...
I got one coming up.
I've got one right now
Can you please say
Just go to the side a little bit
Just because I'm filming you
Can you please say the line
Oh jeez did we eat today
Oh geez, did we eat today?
Great and now should I go
Oh we should probably get something to eat
No no we should probably eat
Do I look at the camera?
I did so you may as well
What do I say?
We should probably eat
We're doing this live
We should probably eat
Great.
What are you doing?
I'm glad we did that on here.
I'm just getting the free.
You only did it because he did it on air because we would have said no off air.
Exactly.
I'm getting the pre-vision.
I'm not happy with my take, and I want to get a more organic.
Yeah, I want to do it again.
Let's pretend, okay, let's pretend I'm back announcing Olivia Dean.
Yep.
So it's like full on in the show.
Okay, ready?
Yep.
I want to be right in scene for this.
Olivia Dean, nice to each other.
Hit Breakfast, it is Jess and Duck.
Oh, geez.
Do we eat today?
We need to eat.
What's my line?
Your line was we should probably eat.
I'm not doing mine again.
No, yours was bang.
Thanks, man.
What is it?
We should probably eat.
There we go.
From the top.
We should probably eat.
Oh, that was hot.
Okay, now you film me.
Oh, wait.
We're on air.
We're on air here.
You'll do yours off air.
Me and him didn't want to.
Oh, okay, I'll do mine whenever.
So what I was getting their team is just the pre-vision.
to then go at the top of some other vision.
This is riveting stuff.
It sounds like you don't know where it's going.
No, I don't know how to explain what I'm getting.
I'm doing a trend and I need vision and you two won't play.
Unless I strong arm you.
Just told me if I had something in the studio.
And I was met with absolute derision.
What are you talking about?
But I want to do it so I have to force you and that's the way to force.
We live in a prison.
Okay.
Hey, we've got a big function to get to.
Yeah, that's what this is about.
you're doing for the function?
Yes.
You got a massive hat to wear.
Exactly.
You're going to poke your eyes out, man.
Yeah, you're the radar.
You should bring goggles.
Oh.
Do you still have your lab science goggles from that science panel you did last week?
Yeah, I'll bring them.
Yeah, you've got to protect your eyes.
I got ski goggles.
Shy guys, no offense.
Shy guy's tall enough.
He'll be able to go above the hat.
Oh, no, but I'll get shade.
Yeah, I think I might be right at eyeball height for you.
Oh, it actually probably would be eyeball height.
I don't want it to be dangerous.
Oh, it's going to be, you could cut my eyes out with that thing.
Exactly.
So bring goggles.
Okay.
We got a big Melbourne Cup function.
Jess is wearing a massive hat.
That's right.
You know the flies are out.
You should put those corks out.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
What are those hats called?
There's a name.
Yeah, I can't remember.
Anyway, yeah, that's a bit of fun.
There you go.
I do that.
Okay.
I'm excited.
You're excited.
My parents are ready to go.
They're excited.
They're looking forward to it.
It's going to be a wonderful day.
However you are spending the day.
Maybe you're just at work.
Yeah.
Hope it's a great day.
Enjoy that.
But maybe you're doing a function.
Maybe you're getting your hair done all day,
which was why you ditch seeing the team.
Yeah, and that would be a fun day,
so enjoy that to whoever is doing that.
How much is a hair appointment to whoever would do that, roughly?
Wouldn't you like to know?
I would like to know.
That's why I was asking.
I'm very interested.
My hair probably cost me like $180.
That's cheap than I anticipated.
04-88-1069.
We did get a text saying,
can we have a minute for all the hairdressers?
Melbourne Cup is one of the biggest days.
Yeah.
Because a lot of women going early to get a fancy dude.
Yeah.
For the cup.
Yeah.
By the time, by the time they get around to doing Babs' head,
they won't really care anymore.
That's what the rest of the text said.
I miss that part.
Thank you, Tony.
Thank you, Tony.
But yes, that's right.
We need to get going.
Yep.
We're out of here.
Docos got a couple of appointments.
Missed any show.
Grab it on the podcast.
We will.
See you tomorrow.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Here we go.
Allay, allay, all-lay.
Go, go, go.
Allay, all-lay.
Tonight's the night.
We're going to celebrate the cup.
of life.
That went for way too long.
They're way too long.
Jess and ducco.
That was the Jess and ducco podcast.
The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas.
