Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Dude!

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

Jess gets something in her eye, Ducko has a weekend of sport and we ask what did you leave behind?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho range is here at the cafe. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the power. We live in the day yet. Podcast, fuck yeah. Ten episodes to go of everyone's favorite show.

Before the series finale. Ooh. I'm excited for the season finale, yeah. The series finale. Yeah. It's one thing for a season finale. Series. Series finale kind of.

How do you feel when you're watching your favorite show or maybe even the sequel of your favorite movie? And for whatever reason, they've recast someone. Yeah, it's weird. I'm trying to think of famous examples. I know it happens all the time. Ooh, it happened in, um... My girlfriend loved The Witcher with Henry Cavill.

Oh, yes, the Witcher. And she goes, Liam Hemsworth is a good witcher. But compared to Henry, he's rubbish. Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah, it's funny when things are. To recalibrate the brain. Remember the Wheel of Time, season one to season two,

They just changed one of the actors and said nothing about it. And you're kind of like, who's this guy's new storyline? And you realize it's the same one. I would prefer, and it's not appropriate for every story, because if it's like a main character. But you know, I'm into the rookie. I'm still watching it. Genuinely in the first season, one of the main cops, she was multi, she was three quarters of every episode. They basically said her character didn't return, like went and got moved to a different department.

So they worked around that character just not being there anymore. And then there was just someone else doing a whole new character. I did look into it. She was accusing the showrunners and a few things of racism. So she didn't want to return. But it's not like they just replaced Talia Bishop. She's now transferred to the Las Vegas PD. Whereas when they literally replace an actor and there's no acknowledgement or there's not

good enough, they had a facelift. I'd rather they say, oh, botched plastic surgery. Yeah, something happened to them. They moved on. But this is like, zit. Yeah. This is it. This is it.

Nine to go up. Geez, we're down to the single digits, guys. Will you get? What an emotional last cut? What an emotional, probably this week will be right next week. Oh, goodness. Out of shy guy and babs, because we all know I am the more emotional, just as a person. Yeah.

But I'm also much more expressive and open and willing to be vulnerable. Yeah. Out of these two blocks of cement, who do you reckon actually will show you any sort of emotion? That's tough. I don't think either. I don't think either. And I reckon they'll almost challenge each other. Yeah, to not.

Who can be the most stormy. And because then they'll be expecting us to expect that they will be, they'll do less. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I reckon you'll get less from Babbs. Probably. Because she'll go harder. Probably has, yeah, probably has been the least amount of motions when they announced from Babes rather than Shagher, I would say.

I'm not very good with that stuff. Babs has known you longer than me. No. No, I've known you. You worked in the office. Yeah, but like, you interviewed for this job. And I didn't know Babs then. I was about to say, though, Shaggart, no offense, Babs.

No, that's right. Not a two-way street back in the day. Babs was a little, you know Babs It took me a year to learn her name I was like who's that you're in reception The loser You know what I mean

Like we just didn't have That dynamic You weren't intimately connected My first impression of Jess If you want to know I can give you mine Do yours and then I'll do mine Yeah okay

I know what fucking yours is Was when she stormed in And when she was pregnant And to me and said Can you please remove that scent In the bathroom Because it smells like shit And I can't stand it anymore

And I need it gone Was that you on reception? And then I told Maria, our old receptionist, and she goes, oh, we can't do that. And I was like, I don't know. Our former very tall co-host to go into the ladies and rip it off the wall. That's right. Was that I remember.

I didn't remember you were on the receiving. It was going to be nice to the reception. They'll remember everything. What was your shy guy? Jess had a wax appointment. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be bothered to go to the interview. Mid-job interview.

I'm going to leave. I'm going to get laser. Yeah, thank you. You remember. It was laser. It obviously didn't make that much of an impression. I was like, hmm. I trusted Ducko's opinion.

And I was like, if Ducco, you know, says, yeah, or no, I'll go with that. I don't need to be here for the rest of this. Yeah. Good times. It was good times. That's funny. Do you remember your first one with Ducco? Yeah, well, I remember being quite drunk.

Funny that. Not on reception. At a staff party. And he was with us and the street team. He was like the only one. And I was like, that checks out now. But like, yeah. At the time you're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, I was like, oh, hey, daco. I remember, was that the one I was pregnant? Yes. And that was the one where it was literally like this pack of street. It was just having the best time ever. And ducco. Oh, we had fun, didn't we, but it was. Yeah, I mean, like, I didn't think you knew who I was, but it was fun.

That's fitting when we got drunk. There you go. I demanded something from you, which you did not execute. And ducco bought your shots. I don't know what you had to involve Maria. No, but I, because it was a whole thing. It was a whole thing. I had to dismantle it.

Yeah. And shy guy, obviously, was that your first time eating ducco as well in that interview. It would have been. Yeah, it was. Person oppression? Did I say something or? You're the same person. It wasn't in person. Were you on Zoom?

Yeah, he came in. I remember that. And then your second one that you didn't get the job was Zoom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the first one was the one I didn't get the job for. Didn't you interview twice? Oh, you only interview once? Yeah, it was just that one time and you came in.

I remember sitting in the crying room. Yeah, I thought that was on Zoom. I can picture you on a computer screen. No, it was me and Jace on one side and then Shaw guy and then you're like, I'm going to go back and get a laser and then you left. To be fair to me. I told Jace. You did?

No, you did. And I'm booking in an interview with Luke at 11. I said, I've got an appointment at 1115. And he said, what's that? And you go, I'm getting me laser. And he's like, oh, right, I, doll. That was how it went down. That was how it went down.

And I was like, well, that's standard. Yeah. And then Nick wasn't even there. You didn't even know. Because he's like, I've got something to do with my kid. So he didn't show up to me. It was, Ducko. We'll just leave it to you.

We'll trust you. Thanks so much. I'm getting drunk with streeties and interviewing shy guys. This is fantastic. No wonder I won that gold company award recently. Labinated certificate Company guy I won't remember your name

but I will say hello Better vibe Yeah anyway Well it's gonna be It's gonna be a sad So maybe you will get some emotion out of Babbs If I was leaving she wouldn't care Because I was the one who yelled at her when she was

I'm trying what I can do to get emotion out of you Babbs Well I'm on no cry streak so don't Oh You've got no tears left to cry Yeah so true as Arianna Arianna What could I do to get tears out of Babs Do I say something really nice about it?

Yeah, no, I think an act of generosity, I think, would get her. Because it's like, oh, my God, he cares and also he knows me. Hey, should we pull Secret Santa names? Oh, that's a good idea. Do you want me to rig it and you get back? I've been thinking about that. Have you? Yeah.

What are you been thinking about? Buying presents for people. Now, what is the rules of our Secret Santa? Oh, 50. Okay. 50, come on. I might even spend $80 on my family. I knew.

You spend more time with us than your family. That's actually true. Thank you. Could possibly be 30. Ducco, that's called psychology. I was going to say 50, but I knew if I said 50, you'd go 30. Yeah. So I said 80.

30? No, you said 50. I'm happy with 50. Nah, don't, okay. Bads, what are you happy with? I'm fine. I reckon you should be able to. Should Bads have a handicap?

Bads can do 30. No, no, because then that's what I've found. Whoever get, ever get, 30. Yeah, you know what happened? She'll pull me. I feel like you can't get a good gift with $30. I agree, that's the point of my... That's the problem.

I was trying to, hell, let's go 50 then. Fuck, yeah. I don't care. Well, I do care, but that's fine. I know. Well, maybe the cap is 50, like the max is 50, but if you find something that... Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a bit of like... How much is my cockering last year?

He's spawned combat. You didn't see all the reels he had to do. Your larvae, it was like 38. See, that's in there. That's in the room. Never been used. Just the four of us. A hazard.

I think we put Jason in it once. Yeah, once, yeah. We put Jason shorts if we do that. That's right. But, um... Does that make it on number? Yeah. It'd be just pulling your name out.

It doesn't matter. It'd be just us. Just us? And that way, maybe we can do it on next Thursday. Okay. Not, we don't even have to do it on air, obviously. Can we do it in the pod if it's interesting? Yeah.

This feels... You'll be able to tell who gets Jess. Yeah, actually, that's funny. Yeah, yeah. See, you can tell who gets Jess. Just from audio. That's funny. I had just last year.

Yeah. That means you're still. And you've got me a great gift because you checked with me. Yeah. So we're going to do. Teet towels. Can you see? All right.

Don't look at it just in case you can cheat. Do I do I look now? Open it. Don't reveal it. Look now. What if I get myself? Then we have to redo it so it's fine. Fucking idiot.

Can we pick from the fact? You know how secret sound work? He got Jess. Oh, you reckon he got Jess. Find out. Keep going. Keep going. You'll definitely know if I get chess.

Yeah, exactly. There'll be an audible groan. Don't look, you cheetah. I'm not. I'm fucking filming you. You weren't. Oh, I got myself. Oh, we've re-go again.

All of them back in. Did you have Jess? Did you have Jess? I had Jess. Yeah. Good big. Damn it! You know how many times?

Because there's only four of us. We're going to probably pull ourselves a bit. Yeah. All right. Now we go again. I understand this is riveting, listening. So thanks for bearing with us. Yeah, yeah.

All right. Am I going first? You're going to go first. Oh, God. I want to, why is there no hat? Do you want a cup Oh, can we see who he's pulled from his face It's Jess

I'm behind him I don't know It's not myself That's good I got myself Yes I had Jess God damn god yeah we go again

What the hell That's so annoying Yes Put it in the cup Yeah put it in the cup Put it in the cup Is there something we can put in the cup? Oh, in a cup.

Okay, good one. Yeah, it was kind of talking about. It's really hard doing it out of your hand. What's the handle? Strangely intimate. Oh, what's that? All right, Bab, you can go first this time. Come on, Barbara, don't get yourself.

And if you get yourself, you just buy for yourself. Yeah, honestly, so true. Babes. Clear? Mm-hmm. Oh, I don't think she... I don't think it is. I think it is.

I think it is. Please, please, please, please let this be. I got it. me. Oh, this is just... I got Jess! Yes! We've all had Jess! Is everyone picking me first? Is it just three Jesses and one bad to it? Yeah, have you rigged it?

I'm going to... I'll pull... You know what we need to, I think, now. Oh, it doesn't matter because it's filming who gets Jess. Oh, yeah, Jess got Joe. Okay, you got one? Got one. Okay. Me? Yep. Oh God, this is... This is tense, guys.

I can't believe that is so funny. Most tense. I wonder what the, um, shit. What is the maths on it? You know, when there's four names, it's like a one in a however many chance that you'll get the worst person. Okay. Oh, I don't think that was Jess.

I mean. Don't pull your own name. Don't pull your own name. Don't put your own name. Okay. Okay, don't want my name. Okay, come on, shy guy. Don't pull your own name unless, yeah, it's not in there anymore.

I was going to say you can't Oh, because two have already been picked Okay Oh You got Jay I got Jay I'm fine with that I'll tell you

Yeah, please do Oh, that's so good Well then you get half of it You only get half of it You only get half I only talk for all guys When I wake a wake up When you wake up

When you wake up it's Jess and Taco Stop Stop what you're doing And listen You know I got the shit that you like There's only one show to wake up for you I'm not that easy to take Jess, ducco, you didn't clean up now I'm crazy

I gotta explain Ducco That's what a ho is Everything's been a lot I better leave us in money I'm going insane Yeah Monkey bearing

B A NG Is it barring B A R FAS This one's called maggots This is Jess and Taco Right on

6 o'clock Hey welcome to a brand new week Welcome to Monday Something different about me. You are a little monster. Bro, I'm so glad you could pick on up. I am changed forever, Ducco. You went to Gaga in Melbourne.

And all I can say is last week we were given away double passes to Gaga in Sydney for this week. Yep. I've never seen Gaga live. I mean, like, I think she's really talented. Just like I've never had the urge to want to go live. And I'll be honest. I had to thank my mum, because I don't know if I would have spent how much we spent on tickets if my mum wasn't the one months and months ago saying, oh God, I'd love to see Lady Gaga.

Can we go together? Can you organise it? Yeah. Oh my God, I'm a changed person, Ducco. And to the people we gave the tickets to, it's the greatest prize we've ever given away. We've given away some stuff on this show. We've done $10,000 in Alphabunds. Nothing is better than the Gaga tickets that the people are now about to experience. Thanks to Jess and Ducco, greatest concert of all times.

Wow. And you've just been to Ricky Martin. I have just been to Ricky Martin. And I've got Ed in a couple months. And I'm ruined. You're a full monster. I am ruined for everything moving forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my weekend was hella good. Yeah, nice. You've come in a Lady Gaga's shirt.

I had, genuinely, the tickets were not cheap. But after it finished, I had a compulsion to give her more money. How can I give Gaga more money? She deserves more money. My mum said, do you want a T-shirt? I said, yeah, can you buy it? Because I don't want to break my noseband. Yeah, buying merch at a show is always like when you're caught up.

Because at the start, I've never bought merch at the start. It's only afterwards you go, I need to relive this feeling. Oh, yeah. So I'll be wearing this now for the next month. I love it. I'm never taking it off. Love it. How was your weekend?

Well, I mean, my weekend was a little bit different. I was set to go away up north and to a like Hawksnest to a beautiful house with some friends. First family trip away. Yes, with kids. Obviously, these devastating fires, they started at Lock Bull of Delaware and up there and they're so bad and they're still going. Yes. So then the highway was blocked off. My friends who had driven all the way from Byron got turned around.

So they got turned around. Luckily, we were just here so we couldn't go, safety first. Of course. We're obviously fine and, you know, thinking of everyone who's affected by the fires. Oh, the devastation is so upsetting. Yeah, it's just been so bad. There's someone red-haired. So, look, we're lucky and safe, but it was one of those things were like, we got turned around by police and couldn't go away.

I had a car parked, had the kid in the car, and all the stuff. Get back to your driveway and go, I guess we're here now. The other one who was happy was Pam, because she had a weekend with a dog sitter, so she was all sad because we were leaving. We came back, she was stoned. She's like, guys, your trip went so long. It's been 15. It's been 15, truly.

So I ended up doing the lawn, and it was that hot over the weekend. I had the air caught on, I reckon, for 52 hours. Wow. And stayed inside. Like, how hot was it on Friday and Saturday? I rolled into Melbourne, and it was raining, drizzling. I went, it's December Melbourne. Shagos sent me a text and he's like, geez, it's hot.

I was like, mate, I haven't left home. Oh my God. It's hot as. It was warm. Absolutely. And it was a nice to chill. And it was smoky. It was warm because of all the fires.

It was a real like, oh, fire season is here. Absolutely. Yeah. It goes without saying, like, make sure you're prepared. Prepared, yeah. Do everything that you can. And make the right decisions. Don't take unnecessary risks.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I feel so sorry for all those houses. Oh, lost on the coast. Oh, the coast. Absolutely. Horific. We are thinking of everyone.

We are going to try and add a little bit. a light to your Monday and I've obviously across the week because Shagoy You know when like a 9 year old is turning 10 It's a big celebration because it's like double digits I'm a big boy Well today's in reverse

Our last double digits Because it's only this many shows to go And this little baby is As everyone knows Has 10 little finger And 10 little fingers And ten little talk Ten shows to go

That was shout out to the Quokkers And Mem Fox doing the song That actually hit me Because I feel like they wrote that just for me Ducker You do have ten Lutea Yeah, I'm like a little baby And I've seen your toes

Because you love your Birkenstone Jesus, that would put me to sleep That's Lucia's favourite Nine-Ni song Because I literally was sitting there going What is 10? What is 10? What movie quote is 10? What song I said? I went, I've got it.

It's a lullaby. But I think it captures the mood. We got 10 to go, guys. We're in single digits tomorrow. 10 to go. I know. I was driving to work this morning going, wow, I'm going to do this 10 more times.

Seriously, I was the same. Got announced on Friday where I'm going so you can sit on social media. Thank God that's out. Absolutely. And I know you were saying you were looking forward to your weekend away to sort of disconnect from maybe your phone. Yes. Because we all know the internet's a,

It's a horrible place. It's the Wild West. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you shared, you had to turn around, I went, oh, no. Is he still going to do his Instagram blackout? Why, turn off their vacations, but I was still very much, you know, like I didn't get to put the phone away and not look at it away. Yeah, because I was trolling you and you were replying. I went, no, no, he was only meant to see this on Monday.

I know. I did one day. I went through one and replied for like an hour and then put it away. Yeah, yeah, it was fine. And does it feel like a weight, lifted off your shot a little bit? It does because I know a lot of rice cookers have been asking you. I'm not on some. And speculating, which is probably worse.

Yeah, yeah. Because you're like, it's not that. Yeah, I know, it's weird. So you feel like you're lying by omission. Yeah, yeah. So, no, it does feel good that's out. But obviously, my focus is here. 10 days.

My eyes on the price. That's 2026, baby. Yeah, that's not your problem. We have got 10 more shows of 2025. God. Actually, can I share something with you? Yeah. I made my first note for an idea for the new year.

And it felt so gross. I literally was like, I'm cheating on him. I feel like I'm cheating on. I know. It was so weird. It feels strange, doesn't it? So weird. It's end of an era right now, guys.

But we're not looking too far ahead. We're not looking over the fence. The present is a gift. Because we've still got the Shy Lord. We've still got Barbara. We're still here. Barbara, are you here? Yeah, I'm still here.

Good. Fired up. We've got a great call of fame this week. Oh, this week is unreal. Family past. Listen to this to dream world. Plus. Accommodation.

Plus. Spending money. How good is that? It is a man. Amazing. So all you've got to do is get involved in the show. Yep. Any time to yet. Up next, though, it'd be rude in my last 10 shows if I didn't take us to China.

Do you know what you should do? Write a bucket list of things for the last 10 shows. Would like to go to China. We can tick that off. But we can make sure across the next 10, we tick off your bucket list. Well, I want to, okay, I want to go to China and I want to speak about Chinese condos. Oh, well, we're going to tick two things off in the next 10 minutes, Sucko. Let's do it. Let's have some fun.

Look at us ripping through your bucket list. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducco We're ducking over to China And not a place specifically To all of China Whoa It's good to be here

Covering a vast land I love lemon chicken I know you do That's why That's part of the reason we came So cool We're gonna cover this story But someone get Jess kilos of lemon chicken

Please And you know what Little serve a honey chicken as well Honey chicken's always good Always it's a tug of war It's a tongue chicken honey chicken And fry rice You've got to get it

I'm not an animal Yeah, no you're not. That's what separates us from the animals. And Mongolian? Mongolian. Got Mongolian lamb on the sizzling plate. Yeah, yeah, that always comes out. Geez.

I'm hesitant to ever visit China because I love Chinese food. But I know Australian Chinese food might not be. It's like Australian sushi. Then you go to Japan, you go, oh. This isn't it. That's not chicken terriarchy with a bunch of mayo? Where's my sushi? Where's the soy sauce in the little fish?

Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? They don't put it, they don't douse it in soy sauce. Okay. I don't want to be authentic. We need sushi. Better, you don't. Anyway.

I once had a fight with a bloke who said Capra Chosa at his local pizzeria in, like, Australia was better than when he had it overseas. I was like, you're an idiot. You're an idiot. That's what you know. But I get it. Hey, we're in China, though, because China is adding tax to condoms. An antibiotic, an S-E-I-Test, a condom.

Thank you. Bab's live singing there. Up until this point, yeah. Yeah, when you say the word condom, she does. It doesn't work when I say. But when you say it, she just has to. Now, watch this. Condom.

An antibiotic, an S-E-I test, a condom. Thank you, Bav. She is on the money today. She must have had a couple of coffees. China is adding tax to condoms as they want to, basically, you know how they were trying to control the birth rates? Everyone was only one kid there for a while? That's right.

That's right. And there was a lot of dramas with that. Now they've got their aging population and they're like, oh, God, we need people to have more kids. No one's having kids anymore. So now we need more kids. So you know what? Let's tax the condoms. Make it harder to get protection.

Yes. They're also doing it for, like, for protection that women can have as well. Yep, yep. The dam. Yeah, the dam, the rod. The sponge. The IUD. All the odd.

I was going to remember. They're doing it for all those things. Really? How do they tax the pullout? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have to self-report at tax time? Yeah, yeah. The Chinese have now all learned the pull-out, a hundred percent.

They can't tax that, can they? I mean, I don't, mate. If anyone could find a way, China could find a way. Totally. Yeah, yeah, we'll monitor that. Absolutely. Consumers will now pay 13% levy on those items, so it's a 13% increase.

I don't know if you have this information, Daco, what's the condom cost in China? I don't need someone to Google that. I have zero idea, but I should have done that research. How much is a Durex or a Trojan? Yeah. Good on you. A Trojan ribbed, maybe glow in the dark.

Yeah, yeah. It can be as low as 60 cents. Oh, that is cheap. So even with a 13% tax? What is it in Australia? I don't even know what a... What, do you mean individually? Per, yeah.

Who's buying one? And how do you buy just one? No one. One condom. In any verdict, an STIR test, a condom. You got to buy a box, don't you? I would have thought you'd buy... They come in, like, they come out packets of six or something.

Yeah. The box of six or... Tell me, brother. It's been a while. It's been a hot minute. I've got a hole in my condom knowledge, and that's never good. That's not good. That's how flow got here.

Yeah, yeah. she was definitely in a lab we all know that we do know that anyone got any any updates on so in Australia they're about

anywhere from 80 cents to a dollar 40 per but in China there is little at the moment as 60 cents per I mean they got a billion people well how's this it's the priceiest country

in the world when it comes to bringing up children so according to a 2024 report by the Yahoo population research in Beijing raising a child to the age of 18, costs Australian equivalent, $98,700. Pardon me, what's our equivalent? I'm so glad you asked. The Australian Institute of Family Studies has said it's about 170 per week,

which is about 160K over the 18 years. Oh, we're way more. Yeah, I'll grow up China. I was going to say the abundance of stuff and resources in China, I would have thought, brings the cost down. I would have thought so. But maybe that's what they're saying, all right, well, we need more of these. There's no barrier to entry, guys.

Come on. Seems like such a sweeping government thing, because I'm on Webo, right? Everyone, the Chinese Instagram. Everyone blows up about it saying, well, this could obviously now cause more STDs. Ah, yes. This is one thing when someone said. What about in the retirement homes? You know, that's where SDDs are rife.

I know, but I reckon they're, I reckon they're rule. They don't care. What about this? It says, if someone can't afford a condom, how can they afford to raise a child? Wow. That's a great point. That is. I'll leave you with that message, everyone. I hope you saw that on Webo.

I hope someone from the government said that. I'm huge on Webo. You should get, you should add me on Webo. Should I have you on Webo? If you ever get a chance. I'm still needing to accept your friend request on the Poo Tracker app. Jess and Ducko. Ducco, I get really excited.

Anytime I see the name Angus Harper pop in my DMs, because that's where we met. He slid into the DMs. That's how he picked me up back in the day, all right? Slivered in. And now obviously we're married with a child. The DMs have changed a little. with. They've gone from like, you know, flirty and kind of sexy.

Your party pies back at my place. So now he sends me content via DM and I was very excited. Or memes of children at the similar age to yours. Or, yeah, it's actually a lot of psychology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we should try this. And we tried that though. I don't know, man. If you do this, you're going to mess up your kid.

You better do it this way. But then the other psychologist says, you better do it that way because you're going to mess up your kid. But otherwise, it's funny little stories. And he sent me this one from Virginia. Oh. We're in a Virginia liquor store. I'm going to assume their equivalent of BWS,

Liquorland, celebrations. I love how they just call it liquor store? Liquor store. Yeah. Get your liquor. How do American say bottolo? Liquor store? They're not big on the, they're not big on the Australian, isn't it?

I don't know how I feel about the word liquor. I'm not a huge liquor fan. Where's your mind gone? I didn't even, well done. Thank you. We can change it to alcohol store if you like. We're in a Virginia. We're in a Virginia liquor store because the, I don't know what time of day it was.

Was the shop closed? I think it was closed. Was it closed? So the owners or whatever the employees come in for the day being like, oh well, better make sure it's all spick and span for the day's trade. This liquor store. I'm sure I'd be saying that. I'll be going now like, I hate my life.

The 19 year old who's earning, what, $4 an hour because their retail trade and Osmo is so poorly paid. But this is an interesting one. They've got a bathroom at this liquor store, which is not usual. I wouldn't have thought you wanted too many people shopping for wine and then using your toilet. Maybe it's the staff amenities.

But he's walked in and there's a raccoon passed out. What? Not sleeping, genuinely passed out because then you look around the store, oh my God, he's ransacked some of the shells and gotten into some of the whiskey. He's drunk. He is drunk. I've got some audio of that raccoon here.

Oh, boy. What, oh, boy! Hey! I wish they've got specific about what the raccoon had actually said, had actually gone for. Like, was it? That's what he said. That was audio.

Yeah, but what alcohol he went for? What actually he went for? Yeah, wild turkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe he's a grand monier kind of raccoon. Shamboored. That would tell a lot about the raccoon. And how many bottles did he polish through?

Exactly, what is the bill here? Multiple types of alcohol is the only information we've got. And what do we know about? mixing drinks duck away. Oh, it's never good. After our Christmas party, you've learned that lesson the hard way. A couple of bombs, you know what I mean? Absolutely.

Beer to rosé, to tequila shots. Beer to rosé, no way. You know what I mean? Into tequila, into wet pussy. No one has told the raccoon. So apparently they called the animal control. They came and scooped him up, took him literally to like animal jail at the shelter, let him sober up in a tank.

How long would that have taken? That would have taken like hours for him to sober up. Well, I mean, he's only a little guy. So I guess depending on his sort of body to alcohol consumption ratio To raccoons vomit I guess they can't I can't quite about

I can't recognise those bottles Maybe you can't just Oh I can actually identify one That's Tancoray gin Oh he's got hands out of gin That's a highest depressant It looks like he's gone for a scotch there Because that sort of bottles

He's gin and scotch He's on some heavy liquors No I reckon that's almost like some sort of scotch Like a fancy one Because it's in it's in it like a Lefroid It's in a box And those little ones I reckon that's Canadian club.

Oh, see, that's fine. He's had an absolute party. He's having a hell of a time. And how do not die? I reckon that might be bloody Campari. He tried to make an apparel sprit. Oh, he's eating. Did he die?

Surely the alcohol poisoning kills the raccoon? Well, the Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter has said, after a few hours sleep and zero signs of injury, other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices, lull. He was safely released back to the wild. Hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer. No, he is now.

now got a hankering. He's an alcoholic. He's got a hankery for alcohol. Next weekend. It's going to be the same thing, but it'll be like four raccoes. Boys, boys, boys. I know how to get in. Take great gin. Let's go. Jess and Ducco. I'm a big deal. Google me. Google me. Google me, Google me, Google me, Google me. Who you gonna get when you Google it? Yeah, we just got this made up for the most Googled things of the year.

I think it's my favorite opener. Best opener for the worst game. It's funny how that happens. The game lasted a week. But that dance bed gets me going. I got. I've got the most Google things Australians have Googled in 2025. Go on me. So I've got a couple categories.

We'll just run through it real quick. I'll give you the top three for each, okay? Okay. So the third most asked question on Google this year was, is Easter Saturday a public holiday? And it feels like that would have been asked by the same people who Googled it last year. Yeah, yeah. And the year before, you don't remember information like that.

Because Easter is one of the last year. those holidays that floats around the moon, so you never quite know where it's going to land. And I think that comes down to maybe retail or hospo staff, because obviously a Saturday is a Saturday, but do I get special rates for pay working that day? That's right. They're going to make a double time or not? The second most Google question is, what does 6-7 mean? Who?

Oh, man. Wait, how is that not number one? We've been asking ourselves this for a long time. That might be the most Googled question. There is no answer. So how is it even a search? I don't know. The number one.

question most asked this year was when is Easter? So a lot of questions around the Easter of women. I guess unlike Christmas, it changes dates. Yeah, yeah, it does. You know, it's not always the 5th of April. Yeah, that's why it's true. And Easter is one of the great periods that is, I think, one of the most underrated holidays. I couldn't agree more. You get that sort of four, five days off and it's a good little recharge. What you say? It's six, seven days You want to know what time I woke up this morning? What time? Around six, seven.

Six seven! All right, we'll move to the top three how-to questions. So how do I? Oh, yes. I also really enjoy all we're doing is giving the Google search. No answers. I don't have fun for that. You can go look up at yourself.

You can go Google it yourself. That's the whole point. The number, the third most Googled how-to question was how do I watch the World Test Championship. All the World Test Champion, the cricket. Yeah, that's the two. It must be the cricket. The two, yeah, it is. It's a recent one for that to make the list, right?

Yeah, well, it's the two best test teams in the world, and they usually play on a neutral oval. Is that not what's going on at the time? No, this is the Ashes currently. So this is played after the seasons. They have the ranking of the test teams, and they're going to play a neutral turf. Okay.

Like Australia won the last couple. I don't know who's going to last year. Maybe that's why. I really want to watch this year. Yeah. The second most googled how to question is how to talk to women. No shy guy. I was 100% shi-grap.

I'm just like, I don't like the answer. I'll go again tomorrow. Maybe there'll be a new article. The number one, how-to. thing this year is how to vote. Ah, that's really boring. That is boring. And also, sorry, again, we have mandatory voting in this country, so you would have had to have done it before unless all these searches came from 18-year-olds.

Yeah. Darko's just good with how to talk to women. A wiki how with pitches has come up. Yeah, it says, talking to women effectively involves being genuine, confident and curious, focusing on making it a two-way conversation by asking open-ended questions about their interests, actively listening to them, sharing about yourself. Thank you for actually giving us an answer. And how do I vote?

The top three Australian public figures. Peter Dutton number three. Bianca Sensori. Yes, that's Kanye's one. Wow, she was up there. And Belle Gibson, who was part of that apple cider vinegar. Yeah. She faked the cancer.

So she faked, well, more than, and beyond that, faked her curing herself from the cancer. But I thought that was all a couple of years ago. Now, why was she it the most Googled in 2025? Is that because the show came out? Oh, because the show came out. And the show did do very well. So maybe people going, hang on a minute. Is this a true story?

Yeah, it's always the way. A little revamp. They put her back to the top of the charts. Why's the Dutton top three? Hey, the Dutton. The Spud. Because he didn't even leave the party. Oh, yeah, I think he was.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. He was up against the Dutton. Yeah, yeah. That's right. So long ago. It does. Yeah.

The number one most Googled word is discog, which is. discography? I don't know why the... Or is there another meaning babbs that I'm not sure? Is that a catalogue of music? Is that what that means? Like Lady Gaga's discography. So you're...

Music database. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I mean, yeah. If you said that, like, come check out my discog. I would have got what you meant. Like, what's this definition? That was the word.

I didn't look up any of those things this year. We are really in the minority. I definitely looked up how to talk to women. Oh, yeah, obviously. You're just trying to keep the spice alive. Yeah, totally. Yeah. We're trying a two-way conversation.

Oh, okay. Actively listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the article are pitches, says follow the pictures. And the number one, most Googled recipe was for hot cross buns. God, we're obsessed with Easter. Yeah, we are. It's so many Easter-rider-R-Gookew around Easter.

Would you reckon people then, it's earlier in the years. People more motivated their Google by the end of the year, people just have given up. They're like, I don't really care. And would you also argue, I don't Google anything. I look for a search on TikTok. Do you know what I mean? I still Google or a chat GPT. Oh, there you go.

So maybe it's not counting that. Oh, Google's lost its Googles. Google's lost its Google. We need one on TikTok. Will we stop using that as the verb? You know how we say, Google it. Will we say, chat GPT? TikTok it.

TikTok it to find out the information. Yeah, we could actually. This might be the last time we have those stats. We'll do the TikTok ones next year. Yeah. Is that all the trends? That's all I've got. Oh, geez.

That was really underwhelming. It really. I was hoping for some really fun, funny things. Yeah, you know what I want, I want, shall I go tomorrow? Like, the R-rated ones. Well, can we do, can we find out the top searches on TikTok, all the top searches? Yeah. Can you find out the chat GPT ones?

Well, they don't disclose that. They don't do like the Spotify rapsed. I did see some funny, like, if chat GPT had a Spotify wrapped. Oh, God, we'd be in trouble. Leave it with me. I'll find a tell for temorrho. Yes, like that's what I want to hear. Jess and Duckow.

You just shared that your wife has picked the Christmas movie that's going to really kick off your festive season, Ducco. You take turns. It's Morgan's year and she picked the Grinch. Yep. A movie you haven't seen but one she loves. Do you find that in your relationship you have similar taste in movies as a whole? Absolutely.

Or are there a lot of divisions? No, similar, very similar. Okay. It has to be, I think. It'd be hard to have divisions. Absolutely. I think now that we've gone into streaming and everyone's on their own devices, I know my husband and I very different.

And he will sit in bed, lying in bed on his laptop watching shoot him up. He loves the spy dramas. He loves action. What are the ones, you know, like the espionage? Yes, spy thrillers. And also, I don't like, he's in the bath, watching it. He is mostly in the bath, but now we're in the apartment, no bath. So he has to watch these, either sitting on the floor in the shower or in bed.

I don't mind those movies every once in a while, but I certainly leave more stearit, lean, more stereotypically, rom-com. You like Happy. I like Happy, and I love a cartoon. I cannot get him to sit and watch Coco. And that's fair. That is fair. I don't blame it. I can't get the kid.

She's too young to, like, stay focused for an hour and a half. and he thinks it's childish. So there's an interesting list that's been shared from IMDB. Obviously, it's a source of, you know, movie information. You can find out actors and ratings. You can see me on there. You can see you on there. Preppy student number one.

Low list of credentials. San Andreas. But they have compiled some data around the movies that women have ranked really high. Yes. And ones men have ranked really low. So the same film where there's a big disparity. It's not that men haven't watched them, but they're like, that's not really much, my jam.

Okay. So for women, we'll go through the ones they ranked really high. I wonder, I'm trying to think, if I can think of any. Yeah. What do you think so? Stereotypically, there's a lot of wrong. Absolutely. And a lot of, like, kind of sad.

Bridesmaids? Do you know what? That's not in my list of five, but that, I can see what you're putting down there. I like that movie. I'm just trying to. The notebook. The notebook is up there. Pride and Prejudice is up there.

Yeah, yeah. What we were saying, I like cartoons, Angus doesn't. Despicable Me ranked really high for women, really low for men. That's interesting. But I thought you'd find this one the most interesting. Really high for women, really low for men, in general, Harry Potter. Really? Women tend to lean into magic rebellion and messy teen feelings,

whereas men, they want less prophecy, more punching. It's a bit of Jojo. And they've done the opposite. Movies that men ranked really high. Die hard. Exactly. Blade Runner, Casino, Rocky. Yeah, Rocky, of course.

And I've not seen this one, but it's from 1968. Once Upon a Time in the West, again, stereotypical Western fighting guns. There's not really many romance, lovey-dovey, sappy, generally speaking. Right. So if you are trying to bond with your partner, you've got to avoid these movies.

Because there's too much of a division. You've got to meet in the middle. Maybe sometimes you can, Watch Rocky one. Have you seen any of the Rockies? I like the Rockies. The Rockies are great. Oh, well, I lie to you. I've only seen the first one.

Oh! There's like seven, isn't there? Yep. But the first five of the OG, then they add that. And the other ones are still good too, but Rocky 3? Rocky 3's good. Oh. When he goes to Russia, stop it.

Stop it. One of the great movie. The montage in Russia? I can only compare because I feel like Angers and I are two divided. My brother and I have very similar taste. A movie we both love. Yeah. Rush Hour.

Yeah. Like for men and women. It's got the comedy. It's got the comedy. action, there can be a little romance trope. Ticks all the boxes. It does, doesn't it? So there's your Monday night viewing if you need it. There you go. Rocky?

Right out. And pride and prejudice. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabet on it's alpha bucks. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're

unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Ava. Ava. Ava, it's you, is Ava. She's like, it's me, it's me. Her hands up, you know.

Yeah, it is. She's at the front of the class. All right, anyone else? All right, we go to Ava. We go to Ava because Ava is keen and we did ask, if you're hopeless, don't call. The fact Ava picked up the phone, it means she's hopeful. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, no, no, no, no, Ava, don't waste our time.

Don't waste your own time. Are you going to get 10 out of 10 and win $10,000? Oh, if we can do it. pretty nice. Yeah, it would be nice, but I didn't ask him, it would be nice. I said, are you going to do it, girlfriend. Let's hope. Yes, we are. Yeah, there she is. Ava, confidence is the first step, my love. What is motivating you? What do you want to spend $10,000 on? I would definitely like to go on a bit of a holiday and probably the smart thing to do would pay off some of the car loan, but holidays definitely the priority. Good, good. All right, let's use that

as fuel, because if you've got too many responsibilities, you'll be like, not really, my heart's not in it. Yeah, a little vibe. Whereas if you've got the focus, yes. Here we go. Now she's on board. Your letters are, Ava. R for responsibility.

Oh, no. It's a solid letter. No, no, it's a solid letter. There's lots of words starting with R. Yeah, yeah. Are you ready? R. I reckon I lost her.

Ava, you're ready. Yeah, she's good. Come on, Ava. Come on. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter R. We need you to name Something Round. A rainbow.

An appliance. Oh my God. Appliance. Appliance. An adjective. Round. A sauce. Rich. A female singer.

Pass. A country. Russia. A sports movie. A what, sorry? A sports movie. Pass. A fruit.

Rock Valley. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. We were over from the first one. I haven't seen too many round rainbows. That's a set. That's an arch. We could have just stopped then and there, and we all knew it.

I never know whether to do that. I know. I know. Oh, well. Oh, well, let's have some fun. Look, Rainbow was incorrect there. That's an arch. We could have given you a ring, roll.

You could have said round ball, I suppose. Oh, my God. There was so many. Yeah. Look. I told you there's lots of words. I start with, ah. You didn't believe me.

An appliance could have been the rice cooker, which we talk about a lot on this show. It's our collective now for the audience. A female singer Rihanna, a sports movie. We were just discussing Rocky. Oh, yeah, of course. And remember the Titans. And then a fruit could have been raspberry.

So look, Ava, not your best showing. We got ourselves three. You don't get the cash, but you do get 100 bucks to spend at pillow talk. Oh, cool. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You can go look for some round pillows. Yep.

Or red sheets. Yeah, red sheets. Other things. Does that start with R? You'll hate the other R from now on, I reckon. Thanks. Yeah, I think I definitely do. Thanks for joining the show, Ava.

Merry Christmas. Thank you, you too. Thanks, babe. Nice. Thanks, man. I'm going to ho-ho-ho people. I reckon you should. You know what?

But I'll go real so like, ho-ho-ho. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, the jolly is the Santa Claus thing. Yeah. We need the ducko interpretation. I'll go like, oh, like, ho-ho-ho, and I'll go real slow. I love that. I love that.

you greet them. Yeah. Do the rules and go. Oh, yeah, okay, great. All right, we'll do that at late. Hey, up next to your first chance to win our core fame. Family past the Dream World, 500 bucks cash, as well as accommodation. We'll do it after Olivia Dean.

Jess and Ducko. 13, 1060, we're asking, what did you leave behind? What have you left? Maybe you left a kid on a family holiday. Oh, yeah, leaving kids behind. Always a great one. Oops. Or you leave with two kids and your third one's not there.

And one of the other kids goes, hey, where's Susie? That's what all happen to Susie. When the third one comes around. I'm and dad are busy. Oh, yeah. I've got a lot on my plate. Susie, grow up and put yourself in the car. Do your own seatbelt up.

I'm three. Yeah, it's time you took some responsibility for your life soon. Damn it, Susan. Anyway, a list of the yellow taxi list has come out, or the cabs list has come out, saying basically all the weird and wonderful things people have left behind in cab. Don't it all seem to go that you don't know what you got to let's go. A paradise. Jeez, this is a bit of a Friday bang.

That is a good song. I might be spotting that one up. You know what I don't care for though? Sorry, I'm just going to take a left turn quickly. It's called Big Yellow Taxi, yeah? It says it one line at the top of the song. It's not in the chorus. I don't like when they do that.

Yeah, it's been annoying, isn't it? Yeah, I've had that issue a few times saying when I was trying to find chorus for things. Yeah, but don't like it. Anyway, common items left behind, including obviously the big ones, mobile phones, wallets, passports, sunglasses, air pods, headphones, umbrellas, and sometimes even, particularly in certain states, they found smoking apparatus is left behind. Oh, not the vape.

No, no, no. Not a sort of smoking apparatus. Like a shy guy apparatus. Oh, why? It's broken down the passages. See, I always know if mine's not on me. It's like a spider sense. I go, hang on a minute.

I've left it. Yeah, yeah. Whizby Bong. Because I do trouble with it. It's collapsible. It's actually really good. You got it to Melbourne to see Lady Gaga. Your mom was so relieved when she saw it.

When I saw that Beagle, I was like, oh, crap, crap. It's empty. That's why I always travel with a steak. to distract the dogs. Obviously, I'm joking. Sounds like I've thought about it. It really does. You're going into such depth about you traveling with your smoking apparatus.

Well, this one was worth 15 grand. Yeah, this one was inexpensive. Wow. I feel like that flamboyant. He got that glass one shaped in a peen. Oh, that's right. This is funny. Schwarerowski crystals.

He's a fancy boy. Hey, it's broken down to the states of who the most forgetful are. Oh, that's interesting. So coming in third is New South Wales. Wales, 2,347 items left behind New South Wales cabs over the year. Okay. Second place was Queensland, 2,532. And the most forgetful state, Victoria, 4,000 items left behind Victorian cabs last year.

Jeez. More than 10. And we would be, who's the most state? It's New South Wales. I would have thought. Surely we've got the most people. I would have thought New South Wales or Victoria. Maybe, I mean, obviously, both.

But who's using cabs the most? I would have thought, because Uber's obviously, you know, once again, this isn't the Uber list. This is the cab list. Yes. More than 11,000. 11,000 items were left behind in taxis last year alone. Do you know what I'd like to know as well? Supplementary to this, how many people then go,

oh my God, my $15,000 bong, I've got a call lost and found. Yeah, yeah. Like, are you following that through? It's a glass vase shaped like a, shape like I think it's a peen, but it could be, you know, something else. Like if you leave your mobile phone, that one's really annoying, because then what device are you calling? You've got to get home, get your partner, go to work or whatever.

Leaving a phone is the most annoying thing. That's annoying. But how far are we going to reclaim these items? Yeah, well, what about a set of Nans' dentures? Dentures were left in the back to the cap? No, they're not. Dentures would be up there with 15 grand. What I want to know is what.

Maybe not that much. It feels expensive, doesn't it? Why are you taking your dentures out mid-trip and leaving it on the seat? It's a dirty place to leave them. That's the bigger question. You know, why are you doing that? Grant, it's a 25-minute journey. Just leave them in.

No. Take them out. It's like taking your bra off at the end of the day. It just feels good. She's like, oh, God. Oh, so she's just finished her work day or her event. Yeah, yeah, grandma. And she goes, oh.

Kick the heels off. Yeah. How's this? Another one. Someone left a mobile phone on the bonnet of the taxi. There you go. It's like when you know you're trying to get in the car, you put your coffee cup on top,

you get in and then you drive off. And sometimes when you stop driving, it's still there. That's amazing. Absolutely glorious. There was a Sydney cabby who returned, didn't take any, a travel bag containing $7,642 Australian,

a passport and an iPad. That's... This is feeling like a smuggler. That feels, you know why? because he saw that, the cabby and went, this is going to give me more dramas if I don't return this, because someone... Best take it back.

Just seeing as he always does? Do you know what the issue is? With Uber at least, I'm not sure I've not used a cab app, but with Uber, you've got obviously the log of who the driver was, the rego, even the car make. If I'm just jumping in a cab, like mum and I, on the way back from Gaga, getting the cab get dropped off, I have no idea the rego, the driver.

No one looks at those things. You have to call the taxi. company. Yeah, and be like, oh, excuse me. It was this time on, yeah, yeah. That's why so many things go missing. That is. There was in 2024, we covered this last year.

Legendary Australian jockey Glenn Bose, Glenn Boss, sorry, left his Melbourne Cup trophies in the back of the taxi. And apparently this year, Cabby found the Rannvet Steaks Racing Trophy, which is a big one in the Australian Turf Club sort of racing things. So people leaving trophies that they just win. You know, I went my, I left my staff award, but I left at the pub that we run recently. Oh, that's right. Yeah, but that was a laminated piece of paper.

That was a golden trophy. I think you can be forgiven for not having that attached to your purse. It found its way back to me as well on the Tuesday, came in. They'd obviously return it. You're like, no, no, I left. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, lots of things left behind the cabs. I've had, it's got a list of like, yeah, the, obviously the glass apparatus, nans things.

And then it just won a traveller from Singapore left behind a bag containing rosary beads. Oh, we're logging at all. We are logging at all. You get it, though. Would you leave behind? And not necessarily in the car. We'll take anything. Yeah, yeah.

That you went, whoopsie, Daisy. Oopsie, like we said, a child. A child. Whatever it may be. Give us call. We'll get you on next. Jess and ducco. 13, 10, 6.

You're asking, what'd you leave behind? It can be anything anywhere because a list of the yellow taxis have come out, all the cabs from last year, saying we left more than 11,000 as Aussies, 11,000 items behind in taxis. Victorians, 4,000. New South Wales left about basically 2,500 things behind. Anything from a glass smoking apparatus, grandma's teeth. I can't the teeth one. I've got so many questions.

$7,000 of cash, a passport and an iPad, which I feel like should be kind of important. I just feel like how much is in the back seat with you that you haven't noticed it as you get out? Do you know what I mean? Like, I understand your phone. You can be distracted, whatever keys could have fallen out of your pocket. A bag of that much cash.

Don't you always do the check, though? Phone, wallet, keys, cash, my teeth. You do. You touch everything. My teeth. And leaving the teeth behind, are you not saying thank you when you get out of the cab and realize that you can't speak because you get no teeth in. You know what's happened.

Nads had a couple of sherrys. Nanny is twisted. How much of these were left behind from drunk people? Yes. That's another asterisk. I think a lot. Let's go to Kim. Good morning, Kim.

No, no, no. Kim, are you ordering something? Kim, what are you doing? Are you in the drive-thru? I've just pulled up. I need to get my car service. Oh, geez. Do you need to sort it out?

We can come back to you. No, no, no. It's all good. I'm ready to go. What did you leave behind? Okay. I was on holidays with my grandparents. So we'd gone to the pub for lunch.

And my cousin and I went across the road for an ice cream. And when we got back, everyone had gone. Stop it. Man and Pop have left Kim and her cousin. Hang on a minute. You were left behind. What'd you do? Obviously, finish the ice cream and just hope for the best.

Well, we'll eat the ice cream. And I said to my cousin, come on, let's just start walking. Oh, like start walking back to their place or start walking home. Yeah, back to where we're on holiday. So what did you do? Rock up at the caravan park and they were like, Oh, Kim, where have you been? No, no, we got halfway home.

And I was like, what happened? And he said, oh, it took us about 20 minutes to realize that you weren't there. There was peace and quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bit too quiet. Oh, crap. We've left Kim at the ice cream. Hey, good luck for the service today.

Kim, is it a big one? Yeah, it's not a great one. Oh, geez, yeah, it's going to be expensive. Watch out for that rust-proofing, Kim. They'll get you up. Oh, yeah. Watch out for that changing the treading on the tires. Oh, you need four new ones.

Mela, good morning. Good morning, guys. Are you getting your car service or what's going on for you this morning? No, no, no. I've literally just rocked up to work. Love it. What did you leave behind? Well, well, Jess, you might relate to this one.

So when I was a new mama, I basically was running around. You know, you get everyone else ready before yourself. Jumped in the car. We're getting ready to go to a party. My husband's in there. Babies in there. We've got all of our shit together. And, well, we're getting.

halfway to this location, which was two hours away, and I've realized that I do not have a shirt on. No, hang on, Bella. I give you complete grace. I'm just rocking around in my bra. I give you complete bra. What? Did you say your partner was in the car with you?

He was in the car with you. He's just supporting her look. He's like, whatever you want, honey. I love this. He's like, jeez for mella. He's probably going, a bra's just a thing now, no shirts. I mean, fashion changes very much. Pretty much.

Yeah. So what do you do, Mel? You're an hour away from home. home, do you turn around to get a shirt or pull into a Kmart? No, well, luckily I took a, no, I took a change of clothes. So, like, you know, you're a breastfeeding mum, so you're not going to put your good stuff on first. So, thank God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, halfway there, just in a bra, just chilling. And I'm like, oh, my God. Where is my freaking shirt? Where's it gone? Oh, that's funny. That's sensational. That is on the husband there.

I can't believe he did. Hey, smart for him. Just don't say anything. Babe, you reckon you're going to be chilly. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to bring a jacket just engaged you? What a guy. He probably didn't even notice, to be fair.

We go to Ben on 13, 1060. Morning, Benny. What did you leave behind? Morning, guys. How are we? Yeah, fantastic for a Monday, Ben. That's the way. Look, I had, I used to do a lot of travel for business,

and I had to go to an exhibition in New York. And I woke up late, slept through the alarm. So I had to make the choice of either not going on the trip or ditching the suitcase. and just going without bag check-in. Oh, my God. So you hadn't packed or anything. So you were like, oh, I'm just going to go as myself. No, I was packed.

I was completely packed ready to go, but I only had a short amount of time to get to the airport. So you wouldn't have been able to check in the bag. You're right. So I didn't have time to check in. So I just made that decision. And now in the – this was a big factory. And in the factory, there's now photos of me.

Everyone else is in the suit on the stand, and I'm in a hoodie. Yeah, you're on your plane clothes Yeah, the plane clothes In the plane clothes I love that I mean what the sacrifice I'll just buy clothes over there I'll just go to roll with it

To be fair It was completely liberating To go without a suitcase It would have been kind of cool You've got no option One of the best trips I've ever been on Did you put a toothbrush in your pocket or something Or was it literally just your wallet your phone

And yourself I bought all toiletries at the airport Everything else was Yeah what I had on me That one pair of Monday Andes Ben was wearing Just got an absolute workout You've got to turn them inside out, back to front. You're like, you can get at least four days.

Jess and Ducko. Come on baby, let me grab a book from my shelf. Let me sing all the lines for you. You know you've got to pick the melody. So you could score a point or two. Book top. Second last time, we'll play this. And who knows?

Babbs might pull a sickie next Monday. So let's enjoy it like it's our last. Yep. She's brought in lightly. Oh, light lock. Have you read this one? No, I've read this one. This one's all right.

What's it about? I can't remember. Yeah, yeah, they all blend into one, these fantasy. But I know it was a good time. What creature is the main character? Oh, here we go. I think she just has powers. Yes, obviously.

Mythical, magical. There's a magic island, you know. Oh, you're on Magic Island. So you're going to sing a song? The tune of a song we should know. I got a vibe for you today, Jess. I have a feeling you're going to get this one. I remember last week, you guys very kindly gave me two minutes

to work it out, watching that video back, I'm like, it's so obvious. Yeah, when you know, though, when you know. But everyone in their cars is like seeing along, like, we know, put us out of our misery. So let's, let's have a go. If it's Gaga, I'll get it. It's not. Oh, damn. The wildling castle was more outside than in.

The holes were bridges, trees extended their arms into the corridor bridges. Catching Jenny on her. You're asking her to say goodbye. Liz Russell and I'm the sign. Is it Taylor? As she walked through the endless chambers. Harry Stiles. Harry Stiles, sign of the times.

Yep, that's it. I couldn't get my finger on it. Unreal. Well done. Because I know what I think I've worked out about you. Lyrics not your strong suit. Melody. Yeah, I don't actually hear any of the words.

Because my, yeah. Yeah, don't listen to the words. I can't help it. Just listen to the melody. Tune the words out. It just sounds like an interesting story. It is a bit of an interesting story. Point to Ducco.

Next one. Wadding's had always been proud of the... Oh, somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We play that enough. Could get. That was fast.

Yeah, but shy guy. Point to shy guys. It was fast. Okay. I was in time, but sure. Do you want to tie? I'll add you a point, yes. Oh, everyone gets a point.

Everyone gets a point. That was exciting. That was close. Here we go. Next one. They would have every right to be worried. I'd lose failure. Would doom them all for at least another century.

Oh. And there had been for failure to sentenials. So ready, I look, clench her back tea together. Yeah, I know. What is it? Waiting for them to. Oh, oh. Ratsy through somebody.

Oh, yes. What's the name? Oh, man. Well done, Shagai. The issue is the familiarity. Yeah. Lulls you into I know it. Yeah.

But naming it is a whole other thing. Jeez, I couldn't get there. Very nice. So point to Shagga. If someone else gets this one, tiebreaker. Okay. If Shagra gets it, winning. No, Jess, you're on the board too.

Don't just get it. I just, I just, I, all right. All right. Aller could feel her face to get held beneath his gaze other than rare, closely monitor. Interactions of her secret travels to the other new lands. With a star stick, she hadn't spent much time with men. Especially men who look. look like him, especially

men who didn't seem to Yeah, me too. I'm listening too much about it. Oh, oh, uh, uh, ha, ha, ha, ha. She frowned he should be afraid of, so sad of tears and I'm so sick of love song. Oh, yeah, I'm so sick. Well done.

Thank you. I can run the name, but, you know, get that. Well done. Thank you, okay. Oh, Ty, I had that, and then I lost that, and then you got it back. You got it back. And then you took me off the track. Okay.

Sorry. Sorry. You can't write. Stuff. This is very exciting. Are you ready? Ready. Yeah.

And Ila really couldn't. Blamed them because they weren't fair in nearly the truth. But wildings were so much. More at least they had been and still could be. What? Da-na-na-na-na-na-da-na-na-da-na-na- what? Does that a big army? So many.

I didn't get that from that. I wasn't getting that. Okay. And you got it. I didn't know the name of him. Jess and Ducco. Lady Gaga, it is the Dead Dance. All hail.

Oh, hit breakfast, Jess and Ducco. We got a little monster in the studio today. We do. I saw Gaga on Saturday at Marvel Stadium, and she is my new God. I now bow at the altar on Gaga. Yeah, yeah. I'm not taking this off. When it gets too stinky, Shigerga, I'll go.

I'll need you to be honest, but I will be wearing this. It's going to be hard for you to get too stinky already when you don't wear deodorant. So we just, we're never going to know. You can wear that thing for months. So I wore this on the plane home yesterday and I've rolled into my house and my daughter, I could tell, had been eating raspberry. So she had sticky red fingers and I was like, don't touch you the shirt. So I quickly stripped off and then get for a hug to protect the dedication.

To protect the shirt. That's make me sound really mean. Anyway. What's going on? Hey, big weekend. It was a big weekend. for Australian sport. Talk to me.

I saw on your Instagram. A lot of TV time. A lot of TV. So I was meant to go away. I'll unpack that a little bit later. Couldn't go away because we were going, obviously, fire affected. Thoughts go out to everyone affected by the fires along the coast.

It's horrific. So we couldn't go away. Very smoky. Like, it's even super smoky in our studio today. Your eyes feeling funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sinuses are playing up. So obviously still a lot haze around.

Couldn't do much. It was super hot. Spent a lot of the weekend indoors watching TV. And my god, it didn't disappoint. I mean, we had the ashes. Have we won two tests now? I'm seeing a lot of angry pombs on media and social media. We dismantled them twice.

Yesterday was day four, that wrapped up. So we're watching that all weekend, you know? And then because we can't go away, Morgan and me are obviously inside. Morgan loves the test cricket. I've told you that before. Yes. She loves test cricket, not the short form. She loves the five days.

We sit down and we get into it all every day. I just love that from her. She's obviously dipped her toe in and God, I actually don't. And that's my issue. I won't even dip my toe. It just looks so boring from afar. And we get to the nuances of the Mizonset of the game. She was absolutely enjoying it.

He slipped into Frenchmo. When they left Gary out, Nathan Lyme wasn't playing this test. She was very... Yeah, she was very disappointed about that. How can he be the goat if he's not in the bloody starting lineup? They didn't think they'd need a spinner. Look, they still won anyway. But Morgan was like, it's not as fun when Gary's not on.

I agree, honey. That's how I'd feel about Marnus. I agree. I don't actually ever watch Marnus in action. I've just heard he's really passionate. I don't like that about him. He played. Did he do well?

He did well. But then the other thing that was on was the Australian Open golf tournament, which was in Melbourne. Rory Macquarie came down. Australian Open was tennis. A bit of both. Rory Macquarie came down. Of course.

The lion. Rory? No. They don't call him. Come on, his name's Rory. That's not bad. One of the biggest golfers on the planet? I know Roy McElroy?

What about Cam Smith or Minwoo Lee? Isn't Cam Smith? rugby player. And a golfer. Smith's very common name. Has any switch from rugby to golf? No, different people. Different people. Get a interesting name. So Cameron Smith. I just want to give you the inside to my household. Morgan was so hooked on the cricket and the

golf because I had them both on on share, on split screen. What do you mean? Can you do that? Yeah, you can do split screen. So the left side was like a panel is a cricket and the right side was the golf and you can switch the audio from one. You're already an overstimulated young boy. Oh yeah. You're now getting two inputs of two different sports. But then Morgan was like, oh, go back to the Golf. Oh, Smith's going to make this. Oh, and we were riding him home until Sunday afternoon.

We'll be one of the first Aussies to win this. Wait, which one's this again? This is the golf. The golf. Cam Smith then misses a putt to take it to a tiebreaker, and it was just absolute heartbreak. It was like us in book-tock-bop-bops to the tie-breaker. That's the same thing, Jess. Oh, no.

Morgan was just like, well, we'll come between the golf, we'll come between the cricket. What a bonding moment between you and the misses. Yeah, she loves it. She loves a sport, and I get her into it, and she's asking all the questions. And do you like that? You don't mind? Absolutely, I love it. You know, some partners, whatever it might be.

The fact that she's like, let's not go for a walk yet. Let's sit home and watch the rest of the golf. Where's the kid and the dog in all this scenario? That sentence instantly put letter my pencil. I was like, my God. Geez, Flo, oh, anyone's seen Flo? For a couple of hours. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit.

30 seconds to answer, 10 questions all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same. answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, say pass. Of course, we'll come back to you. If there is time, we are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Kate. Good morning, Kate. Good morning. How are you? Oh, Kate. We're wonderful. We're good, Kate. We're wonderful for a Monday. The question is, I'll play her at seven, you know. A little bit, little bit. Well, not just

bad at the game. Didn't believe. She did not believe in herself, Kate. Oh, I've got this. Don't worry about it. That's what we like to hear. That's the correct attitude. What do you want to spend the money on? Oh, look, we need a new bed. I need a new mattress. Get a king size, Kate.

You want the back. An upside. I want all the new sheets. I want everything. Oh, bamboo. You can't go past bamboo streets. I'm trying to think you've got the tempua. You've got the postopedic.

You've got the snooze. I can't think of a mattress or bed brand that starts with eye. But, Kate, that's what you're going to work with. Come on, Kate. You can do I. You can do it. We believe in you, but you've got to believe in yourself. Do you believe in yourself, Kate?

Yes. All right. Good, good. Sit up a bit straight to team. Here we go, guys. You might have a player. Your time will start after the first question, Kate. Let's rock, starting with letter I.

We need you to name. A drink. Ice coffee. A flower. Iris. A music artist. Enya. No, I.

In sync. A Marvel character. Oh, Iron Man. A body part. Intestine. An Australian animal. Um, Iber. A country.

Island. A five-letter word. Oh. Oh. Katie, Katie. You could tell Kate was a player as well. Oh, she would have done that if not for freaking Enya. You got six.

I have to accept your first answer. which was Enya, which you think you know as an Eon, looking for an eye, like Iggy, Azalia, Imagine Dragons, Ice Tea. You'd sort of corrected yourself, but the damage had been done. I know, and to be fair, baby, said NSYNC. Yeah, that didn't help. Yeah, yeah, no.

No, I'm so sorry. That's a double booboo. It was a double booboo. Which was annoying, but, hey, you know what I loved about it? You didn't just give up. You went on and got three, four, five and six. So you got yourself six. Look, a five-letter word, we'd sort of been done by them, but icing or ideas. You don't get the cash.

You do get 100 bucks. This will help you, though, to spend it pillow tour. It's in the realm. Yeah, pillow tour. I can't get some bamboo sheets or at least some throw pillows. There you go. Merry Christmas, Kate. Thanks so much for joining the show.

Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, guys, thank you. Merry Christmas, to be fair, I'm not sure what people are meant to do back, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Anyway, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho to you, Kate. All the best. Thank you.

Oh, that's the mission to get someone to ho, ho, ho. I want to hoe, ho. Okay, okay. Up next, more chances to win our call of fame, which is a family past of dreamwell plus accommodation plus spending money. Something happened to me, bro. Oh, no. Something happened to me.

Yep. And I need sympathy. We're asking now, what happened to your eyes? Because on Friday afternoon, Ducko. We're not asking. Jess is asking. Every question that we ask, it's a we. Okay, all right.

Tell us what happened. Well, nothing ever happened to your eyes. You're not going to contribute? You got nothing ever? I've had pink eye a few times. I'll take a pink eye story. I've had conjunctive artists. That would fit.

We're asking what happened to your eyes because Friday, something happened to my eyes that was so severe. I had to, I'm not being dramatic, I had to call my husband, ask him to come home from work. To help me to the point that they, then I couldn't drive to pick up Lucia from daycare. I was basically blinded. Sunscreen.

I had taken cheer on me. Oh, my God. That was worth it. I'm glad we did that, genuinely. Blinded by the sunscreen. Oh, you were. Sunscreens. Interesting.

I took, while the kids. Did your mom never teach you not put sunscreen in your eyes? Bro, I don't know. Did you put on your forehead and it sweated down? Yes! Yeah, that's a looking mistake. Were you wearing a hat? Yes.

You don't need sunscreen if you're wearing a hat on the forehead. You've got to have a sunscreen on every inch of the body. Not if you have a hat on, not on the forehead. I never put on the forehead if I have a hat on. That way, because... Maybe that's a hat. If I'm playing like golf and stuff or sport, if you sweat and it comes down to your eyes, you get sunscreen in your eyes.

Dude, I'm 34. Dude! I've never thought about that. I've never had this issue before. Genuinely, I thought I was blinded. I had to ask, I thought my eye, I thought my eyeball was melting, duck etch, what's your name, sire guy? I was that rattled. So while Lutea's at daycare, I try and make sure I give the dog some good one-on-one time. So we go for a long walk, end up at the beach so he can have a

frolic. And I start going, geez, my eyes stinging, my eyes stinging. And you didn't think it was a sunscreen. Well, I just sort of went, I wear sunscreen. Genuinely, I wear sunscreen every day. Because all the facials and all the skin experts out there, why? One, obviously safe in Australia, but two, anti-aging. So I wear sunscreen every day. I have never experienced this, that I'm going, oh, that's stinging. Yeah. Made the mistake, rubbed my eye, probably exacerbated it.

I barely made it home. I was crying with pain. I was blind. What's that eye? Right. My right eye. I stopped it at chaos, asked for napkins. Probably again made it worse.

I'm rubbing it. I got, it's the longest shower I've ever had because I stood under the force that just letting it rain down on me. All right, Lady Gaga. Called Angus and said, I'm in strife. This is worse than when I said,

oh, bin by an aunt, can you come help me? So did you, okay, so I'm just trying to clarify, get the severity of the situation. It was really bad. You didn't realize it was sunscreen. No. So you're thinking about eyes just playing up. Because then he comes home, obviously,

picks up on my panicked energy. He goes, what happened? I said, I don't know. I got ready for. the walk, put my sunscreen on and went out and he goes, did she get sunscreen into your eye? I must have.

Sunscrain. And then it was annoying because on Friday, that story went viral of the Kiwi journal that the Seagull flew into her face and like fraction of her eye or socket or something. I went, that feels a bit worse than mine, but mine was still bad. Could drive. I couldn't drive.

Oh my God. And then Angus had to make another trip to the chemist and get me like a, I do. Like, yeah, like, what do you call? Like, eyedrops. You can get that, like, kind of... Yeah, but I can't get my eyes open for those. So we had to get some... Clear eye and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. He got some, like, pump thing. It's really bad. I've never been in more agony. Wow. Worst than child. Wow. Had an epitual shy guy.

This, I mean, this last four minutes. First one, she said, have you ever had sunscreen in your eyes shy guy? No. I have, plenty of times. Okay. Babs, have you? No. See, no one gets the severity.

Oh, no, it's stings. Don't get me wrong. Not the sting. A sting makes it feels like it's, oh, it's mosquito. No, like it's really bad. It was burning. That's a better word. Burning.

It's melting my eye from the inside. Oh, T.I. Yeah, basically. Yeah, right. Anyway, it was really bad. So I thought we could do, I thought we could do. Yeah, yeah. The Dream World tickets.

I just love that I just came home from where you had to go, all right, to walk me through what's happened today. You got ready. You put sunscreen in, I'll stop you right there. It's sunscreen in your eye. But you really, that's a really interesting. Yeah, it's, it's, it stinks. Put it on the forehead.

I appreciate those on the packet. Avoid the eyes. Did you do like, is it like a makeup brand sunscreen? No, no, this is Cancer Council. SPF. This is proper SPF 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it might have even been the sport edition.

I was going to say, was it a sport one? Whatever the orange one is, I don't know. Oh, yeah, I think that is a sport one. I think it's a sport one. So shouldn't that be sweat resistant? It should be. I mean, yeah. You know, I do work up quite the time.

What were you doing? Just walking the dog. I threw a stick a couple of times. It does say avoid the eyes on the, on the bottle. No, this is big, though. It also says to leave for 20 minutes before going into the time. Yeah, don't you know that?

No, you've got to let it sink in, otherwise it's not doing anything. It's like you can't do it and go jump into the ocean straight away. It's going to rub off. Should we do? What's your sunscreen story? Maybe you've got to say, mate, okay. I mean, all the people already calling in. So just calling for you if you want, what was your most traumatic event?

What happened to your eyes? Sunscreen story. I like, or? What didn't you know until you knew it? Why'd you make your hubby come home? We really should have brainstorm that. That's a way better. a question.

What happened to your eye? Why'd you make your husband come on? Jess and Ducco. What happened to your eye? What happened to your eye? What's your sunscreen story? Or I loved your idea. Our idea.

What? Why'd you make your husband come home? Because on Friday, I tried to do the right thing, take the doggy out while the kid was at daycare, have a nice afternoon in the sun. Yeah. And do the right thing by putting SBF all over my face. Half an hour into our walk, I was blinded in my right eye. Yeah, yeah, it was...

Hours of agony, to the point I couldn't be in the living room. Once my husband had gone to pick up Lucia from daycare because I couldn't drive. I couldn't be in the living room. It was too bright. I was so sensitive. It was just, it was horrific. And Angus came home and what's going on? I couldn't find my eye mask.

So I ended up just using a wheat bag, you know, like for period pain and putting it over my eyes. And Lucia came in being like, mummy's hat. I'm like, yeah, whatever I'm there. Leave me alone. I've been blind today. And I was like, what do you want for dinner? And I was like, can I just, I cannot focus on anything else. No one was taking me very seriously.

Oh, Ray Charles in the living room. Bo's called in on 13, 1060. Wait, no, okay, so something happened to Bo's eye. Oh, yeah. So, Bo, Ducko's going to play the thing, and then you come off the back and you say what affected your eye, okay? Yeah. Go. Chili powder.

Oh, see, now that is some pain. right there. That's bad, Bo. What happened? And it wasn't just any chili powder. It was the powder of the world's processed beef jerky. Oh, beef jerky. Well, hang on a minute, so you're blinded by the beef jerky.

So is it the classic thing, Bo? You were enjoying it and then forgot it would be on your fingers rubbed your eye. Yep. Oh, no. Jeez. And what happened? And what happened? Like, how long did it take to pass?

Did you put milk on your eyes? What did you do? Oh, it took about 45 minutes to cool down. Jays, you're tough. Sunscreen blinded me for about four hours. I was drowning my eyes with water and a bit of milk and everything. It just wouldn't go away. Blinded by the chili powder.

The chili would hurt. Oh, God. All right. Let's try it again with Megan. Yeah. Megan, we're going to play you the thing and then you come off the back. Tell us what happened, okay? Let's just try.

Go. Megan Hello Hello All right We'll go again Let's go A pool sinky

A pool what A pool A sinky toys Oh the things that you can chuck in And they'll go to the bottom And your kid can dive in and grab it Oh Pool sinky

I didn't know that's what they were called It's stinky How does that affect your eye Megan? So I'm a swim instructor And there's multiple teachers in the pool at the time With like different groups of kids And all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye

This big ring just waxed in the eye Oh no As in one of them had piffed it into the pool But directly into your face Yep one of the kids have thrown it And I've ended up with a black eye Oh it's not worse than that I guess they're weighted obviously

because I have to sink to the bottom of the pool. What happened to you? The pool sinky. Say no more. Say no more. I totally understand what's happened to you. Let's try with Beck. Beck, good morning.

Good morning. All right. Hit it with, hit it back. Lack text pet bird. Pet bird. Yeah. What? How did it happen?

So I just had my first baby and I felt like I needed to do something to make myself feel human again. and I booked in to see a lash tech and have my lachers like permed and tinted. And she did it from her house. So I went along. Didn't think to mention that I'm absolutely mortified, at least terrified of birds. Yeah. I mean, why would you tell your lash tech that? It's not going to come up.

Fair enough. So I was laying on the bed. She's got my eyes taped down. She's put the perming solution on, which is quite stingy. And I'm trying to relax. and then I hear flapping and squawking and I start rambling everywhere and I think no I'm a I'm a grown adult woman this is so horrendously embarrassing I can't I'll be brave so I tried to suppress it and then I felt it kind of climbing near me and all hell broke loose I couldn't open my eyes the little bit that I did get open started singing with the perming solution she thought I was having an allergic reaction because I was beside myself and I actually had to call my husband who was home with our newborn to come and get me because I was too terrified to like move. He had to come and like pick me up in the car and it was a whole

ordeal we had to pick my car up the next day. It was. Did you get your eyelashes finished or have you left half done? Because that stuff takes, it's quite a long appointment. She had to work it off. So some were like curled, some picked it up. Oh, God. And it was just one of those moments where I was like, that's what I get for looking after myself. I'm never doing it again and I never ever went back. I don't know. I'm not going to have to bird lady's household. Never go back to bird. That's, yeah, that's a lesson

learned. Ask about birds on premises. Yeah, going to your eyelash lady that she's going to have lots of birds floating around. Absolutely. Out of the cage as well. Let's wrap up with Kel. Good morning, Kel. Good morning. All right. You get the idea. Let's go. I love that you have to try to sing it.

That was good. To the beat. Hair removal cream wood's sting. Yeah, Kell, I can't imagine you were trying to nair off your eyebrows. So how did this happen? No. I was trying to nair off my bikini line. And I accidentally over-lubritated and it started to burn.

And I started to cry. So I wiped my eyes. Oh. And I had to see my husband and he come home and he found me on the kitchen floor, or freezer still open with a packet of peas on my lady dick and a pack of peeve on my eyes. Lucky you had two bags. Yeah, too bad. Who has that?

One was corns and one was pee. But that's a double waddy from Kel. That is. That is. And the hubby coming home. Cal, that's true. How long did... The worst was, when I rung him to tell him what was happening, I was on speakerphone,

so all his work makes knew what I had done as well. And also, Kel, can I ask another follow-up question? If you used hair removal cream and that's what's got on your eye, did your eyelashes all singe off? No, I did get like a dermatitis, like a burn on my eyelid. Oh, geez. But how was the bikini line, though? Oh, yeah, but Smith.

So, on the weekend, I told you guys about it on Friday, I said, I can't wait to tell you how my weekend goes come Monday morning because it was the first trip we had planned with my. My friends and their kids. So three couples and one kid each. It's a new generation of travelling. Yep. I think I've not actually done one of those.

No. But it feels like the best way to do travel now, doesn't it? One for the support, but two for the children. Yeah, well, Flows the youngest, so Flows about seven months. And there was one that's about a year and a half and one that's about sort of 10 months-ish. Sure remember the advice. Oh, she'll remember the good times. She won't remember exactly what you did.

No. But there will be deep-seated joy. Oh, yeah. And the photo. It would be great. Oh, the photos will be so cute. So we were going up to Hawksnest. We had a little holiday home up there.

We'd all, months ago, booked this in. I had friends coming from the coast. Then we were driving up from Newcastle, and then I had friends coming down from Byron Bay. So we're all meeting sort of there. It was obviously easiest for us. Our friends coming from Byron actually left a night before, because it was like a seven-hour drive for them.

And how old's their kid? A six and a half-hour drive. Their kid is the 10-month one. Okay. So they were like, oh, we're going to do it in two parts. So do like three hours one day, four hours and next, whatever. Smart.

They've done that the first day. And then all of a sudden we get a text from them on Friday. Like, hey, there's a few fire warnings. But it's all good. We're nearly there. We're going to be there. Apparently there's a ferry we can get to get in. Okay, cool.

And then we're packing our car. You know it's like packing the child. Like, you've got to bring so many things for them. At times three. Oh, times three. Because then if they get dirty or they break, you need a backup. Oh, you need everything. Then we had a dog sitter coming or dog sitter so we had to clean the house.

We had to get Pam's meals ready, right out of her medication, which obviously takes plenty of time. We got all that going on. So we're trying to manically pack, pack, we're finishing the show. I had a bit on on Friday as well. So it was sort of a busier morning. Yeah. We eventually, we finally, we didn't check our phones. And our phones are going off.

And I deliberately put my phone away because of obvious things happening with me on Friday. So then I wasn't looking at it. Oh, yep. So you're out of the loop. It was out of the loop. And all of a sudden, our group chat with our mates is just going off being like, have you seen the fires? They're getting out of control.

We're getting turned around. We can't get through. Eventually, we get on the road. We're driving. look at our phones and we're like, what the hell? Look at the maps. It went from an hour and 10 minutes to four hours to you might not be able to get in. You might have to get a ferry.

It's not safe for you to continue. Our friends got literally 20Ks away, like the bulladilla fire and got turned around because the highway apparently was just, they sent us a video. It was just all smoke and fires. We couldn't get into it. So the whole trip just got cancelled. So everyone was on the way. Our mates had driven like nearly seven hours with a child and had to turn around and just

drive home. They're like, we're in the car that day for like nine hours, and the kid was just screaming going nuts. And I know you say, well, the alternative, obviously, non-negotiable. Yeah, yeah. And maybe even if you had made it through, gosh, could you have come back out? At one point, do you know what I mean? Maybe they would have closed the roads and you would have been stuck there. Yeah, exactly.

And thoughts about to everyone affected by the fires, obviously, there was those fires up there in the highway. Now, on the coast, there's plenty of fires. On the coast, so much devastation. Houses being lost. There was some redhead here. So, you know, it was a big reminder of that, because it's so smoky today as well. Like in our studio here, smoke. Even with a cooler change, there's still these major issues going on.

The smoky haze. Babs, your family has a holiday home, which nearly got burnt down. Yes, yeah, up at Naurong, almost burnt down over the weekend. There was evacuation orders. I know you said your dad was having to go and do what he could do. My grandparents evacuated because they live up there. I think it was more people had to monitor, but it just was looking pretty bad for a while. Absolutely.

It just reminds you how quickly a fire can escalate, which sounds so dumb when you say it. But, like, even Friday morning being like, we're going on this trip. And then an hour and a half later, it's like, there's devastating fires. Absolutely. And you just think an hour earlier or an hour later, what a difference that could make. I know. Oh, my God. Well, thankfully you weren't too far into the journey.

And thankfully, everyone was okay in the end. But I can imagine you would have turned around, pull back in the driveway and gone, unload the car, honey. I guess what are we having for dinner now? Let's watch the crew. Cancel the dog. Yes. Smack bang on 9 o'clock for a Monday morning.

How did we manage that? Smack bang on 9. Right on 9. See you later. That's what we do, you know. That was our 10th last show together. Which means we've only got nine shows to go. We're working towards the season.

Sorry, series finale. Series finale of the JD show. It's one thing to know Ozark season 6 is coming. Good reference. I'm trying to think of shows we both like. I mentioned Big Bang Theory and your head nearly exploded. What about, okay, what about Brooklyn Nine-N-N-N? We love it.

And they went too far and it got horrible. That's a great point. Yeah. So before it could get to that, Duck, I went, see ya. And he's going to leave December 19, which means series finale. Oh, my God. And you know what happens in the finale, a character always dies. Who's going to be Marissa from the OC?

You. I'm dying, right? It's Jess's fish and me. Well, Babs can't die. I need her next year. So you're the one. Imagine the audience would get that day if we killed off Babbs.

God. And how would she go? Do we put her... Does she finally jelly wrestle me? I've been trying to jelly wrestle her for two years. I'm more for that. You two want a jelly wrestle for my last show? You can pick jelly or mud.

You can pick. You choose, Babs. Neither. Okay. Okay, you're wrestling shy guy. You'd break him. I would destroy him. You could snap him like.

You would destroy it. You don't want to snap him like a Twix, which is something we both enjoy. You like a Twix. Yeah, series finale, guys. Series finale. The, uh, of the JD show, nine shows to go as of tomorrow. Oh, we're going to have some fun doing it. We've got some big things planned.

Yeah, we do. Huge things happening. Mainly. Turn up. Raiden. Do you know, would you like to? So I mentioned it earlier and your eyes glazed over. I didn't feel like an idea you wanted to lean into it.

Yeah. I want you to do up a bucket list. I want you to do over the next nine shows, we need to do a story out of India. We love visiting India. We do love India. I want whatever it might be, what I think we need to do is catch up with none of those.

It would be traded. Oh, actually, yes. I think that's on the bucket list. Later needs to be out there. Check back in. with Brayden. Auntie Licky. If we could chat to Auntie Licky from last year.

She is one of our favourites. Hey, are we doing Call the Fame of the Year? We need to. So that might be nice. We're going to revisit. We are. Yeah, we'll revisit that. There's just things.

I fear it'll get to the 20th of December and we'll be like, oh, oh, old, mate. You can't cook, rise without a rice, can you? Need to chat to Reese. Okay, we'll workshop that. Maybe we can come with some ideas. Yeah. But, you know, to round out the series. And they need to, we'll get them on.

They've got to say their party. message to me. Yeah, that's nice. That's fun. I also want to hear a poem from Shagai. Oh, I like a cross stick? Yeah, cross stick. All rhyming.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Both. Oh, you know, D. No, that's got a cross stick. Okay, D is for delightful. Nice. You is for. You is hard.

Yeah, yeah, it's hard. Yeah, we'll get some. We can work on that. That's nice. Shagga's interview just got so busy. And what's your task for Babs? Hmm. What is my task for Barrex?

The jelly wrestle. Well, yeah, that would be nice, you know. Just because I reckon Babs would hate it so much. Jess would love it so much. I would love it. I would just, yeah, what would be your first move in a jelly wrestle? Oh, try and get the bikini off. You're in bikinis.

Duh. Have you never seen jelly wrestling? I have. I have. I'm just going to pretend I haven't. Yeah, because that's how you win. You get the bikini top off. Ah, that's how you win.

What's that movie with John Candy? Anyway, that's what I'm referencing. He's in mud, but that's the way he wins. He gets all the ladies. Good luck, Babs. Babs will be in a rashy. She'll be in those strained jacket A wet suit

Jess will pull a knife and cut it off you I am gangstall like that Anyway Nine to go Yeah yeah so you're missing it grab on the podcast We're back tomorrow More chances of course At Alfaux

More chances at a call fame tickets To you to Dream World Plus accommodation and money Yes It's Tuesday The blog is here We'll be here We'll be here always

You know you can't count us out My friend did something to a toilet I want to talk to you all about. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. I did something yesterday that I'm heavily ashamed of, and I think I'm going to have a lot of judgment from everyone by you. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that could be a few things. Anyway, we're out of here. Enjoy your Monday. Bye-bye. Stay safe. Bye. Dude, I'm 34. Dude.

Dude. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. The new macho range is here at McCaffee.