Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Fart Roulette

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

We hear your dumb thoughts for the week, hear about Jess' heated argument with her mum over a cake and ask you what you've accidentally sent to someone!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new Macrispia has arrived at Macas. Try it today. Jess and Douggo. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Everyone, what's up? Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the power. We're living the day yet.

Podcast, fuck yeah. It still just feels like it kind of ends with me. I know I said I was happy with it. It just sort of ends there. I think, I think it's me. I don't think I draw out the relive and the day. And I know our audio producer gets very caught up on beats. Podcast, fuck yeah.

Recall the power. Reliving the day yet. Podcast, yeah. Are you hearing the day yet too quick? It means reliving the day, yeah. That's what it needs. I also think like it's a bit fast now with the fuck year at the end. It sort of, it went from too long to too short.

I know, because when I did give that, and Shy Guy, maybe we can blame the guy who's not here, maybe didn't relay what I meant. He wouldn't have, no. Because it was almost like, it was, this is almost what I was like, it was two verses, well, one verse repeated. And then Shy Guy and Bab's coming in with that echo. All I wanted was to get rid of the echo. But we've now eliminated the second verse completely. Yeah, sort of gone full turkey. Oh, that is what it is now.

Wheels are in motion. We're here. So you're going to, that's, that's, we, we accept it for it is. Do you know what, this is that classic thing, shy guy does like an AI trend. He does three goes. One of us wants to make an edit and he goes, well, now I have to pay. So you either deal with that or you pay. It's like subscribe to the pay.

That's what we're doing. Exactly. I someone's going to message me and say, saying, Jesus, I've been using my chat GPT wrong. Thanks a lot, shy guy. Oh, there you go. I almost don't want to promote it because as we said, people are just going to really lean into that and forget about human. There's a reason the Sharla was going on here today. That's right.

He's not way too excited about it. Aura told him to take the day off so they could spend time together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because wasn't he smooth with her? Well, I've never seen the man that confident or smooth. Yeah, it was a bit gross. It was weird for you because you see Shaga as like an older brother. Yeah, it was really weird.

I kind of wanted to like shut my eyes and my ears off. Yeah, you shut everything. Close every hole. No, but you know, when you close your eyes and your ears, your other senses are heightened. It's a smell. Oh, God, I'm sorry. What's your sense of smell like?

Pretty good. Actually, I've been told I have a pretty good sense of smell. How did someone confirm that? Oh, I can smell farts really quickly. Okay. Of all the things to challenge yourself with, I don't know, farth is the artist thing. That's a real gift, Babs. No, it is.

Okay, hang on a minute. I've got a great sense of smell. You know that. You know that. Yeah, we have a smell off. I can smell people in the office and know who it is. Me too. Yeah, yeah, they're sent.

How does this going to look? We'll do it obviously video. But you also need to make sure people I know the names of. No, no, no. No, no, no, we're eliminating. I want to do, like, a, your blindfolder. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to smell what it is. Oh, yeah, cool.

So, not necessarily a person. Yeah, yeah. It'll be a plate of something. Yeah, great. But don't make this fucking unique Italian dish I don't know the name of or something like that. Like, it's got to be... We talk about fucking carbonara enough.

You should know what that smells like. It's got to be gettable things, you know? Like, oh, that's tomatoes. Oh, I just stack the deck and put a bloody poached chicken in front of you. No, if you were going to say, we have great senses of smell. Yeah, like, oh, that's Tobin from promo. Yeah. You can get person perfume.

You can get things. I'll be deciding what's presented to your nostrils. Get ready for this. It's Italy's native flower. It's pancetta. It's for gotcha. There might be a bread because what a beautiful smell. And with your eyes closed, you're blindfolded, it will be interesting.

Shoggo I'll go get that sweatband again and put it over our eyes. There's another radio station's name on it. It might be fanta in a bag. Can you identify a beverage? Yeah, it's a Phil 6-10. Let's do it Monday. No, we'll do a video. Yeah, I'm keen.

We'll do it and then we can pull the audio. I'm the best smeller in the team. So you can't take my crown. And I can swell farts really good. I'm telling you. Hey, that's what we need to do. But you guys can't be involved. Shiger and I will fart in jars and then you have to decide.

Guess who's who is who? Guess who's? One will kill you and one won't. Well, I think if you pass out, you know whose it is. Fart roulette. Fart roulette. One of these jars will. kill you.

Three won't. Would you take those odds? All right. I'll work on that over the weekend. Best out of five or something. Yeah, I like that. That's fun. And then we'll...

Smells out of five. But do we smell it at the same time? You know what I mean? And then we have to... Or do I not hear what she says? And she doesn't hear what I said. I'll take Babs into the boardroom. Yeah, yeah.

She'll have a go. Yeah. And then we'll lock her answers in and then you'll come. Do you do live? Like smelling on air. Nah. No, I don't think on air. I think there's too many variables.

We'll do it ourselves. Okay. All right. Oh, this is fun. Smell off. It's a smell off. We've got to smell off, Barbara. Babs, of all your skills is smell your number one skill.

I don't think so. I just have noticed in the last couple months and I'm pretty good at just like sniffing things. Because it's funny because you both have sinus issues. That's all nasal nostril. And yet your sense of smell top notch. Maybe that's why then. Maybe that we just get so much in there. Overcompensate.

Yeah, I don't know. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. It's so exciting. week next week, just got chaotic. I'm fucking, come to work on Monday. To bring the rice cookers in on something,

we do something called like an afternoon tease, it's talking about what will come up on the show. Let's redo what we've already done. It's a smell off Monday. We've got the golden bachelor and a smell off. The golden bath of God we had him on Monday. I just saw the sheets. So anyway, that's going to be a big week.

It's going to be a huge week. And that's just Monday. You're telling me, we've still got Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Now, wait, hang on. She's coming for your smell title. How sensitive are your nipples? Um, pretty sounds like could we, Can we cripple you?

Um, please don't. Nah, okay, so you've still got that in the bad. The nipple guy. Yeah, the nipple guy. You can, you can keep that. Thank you. It feels good to have that title. I think so.

Yeah, yeah. Shogos big dick guy. I'm nipple smell guy. What am I? That's a pretty good title. I am. You are. Never been constipated.

You are the most regular human being I've ever seen. Like, you can poo twice in a day before 7 a.m. And it's like, cheese. And I want it on the record healthily. Like, it's not, like, sick, you know. It's not fluid. It's not, it's not diarrhea. Have you ever had diarrhea?

Yes, yes, I have. What did I have the other day that set me off? Could be anything. It's so jarring for me. 90% of what you eat would set me off. Oh, yeah. I really like to. I know we've tried to talk about doing wife swap

where you live with Angus and I live with Morgan for a beer. But just getting them to agree and then children's involved. The children is the hard part. So do we do day on a plate swap? Oh, that's funny. Would it kill you? Fuck. Would it kill you?

I'd fucking go out of my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Health-wise, it wouldn't. But would mine... I don't know if you could have you. I don't know if I actually could. I actually want to serve you as bean dish I made because I think it could absolutely blow your ass all out.

But like beans are so good for you. I know. But you would not... We even had to dinner last night. It was nice, but it was just rich. I'm lying in bed going, fuck. So your version of rich as well, I'm like, no, no. I need more.

What you call rich, I'd put sauce on. I'm feeling sick just thinking about it. Oh, that was yum. Yeah, it was delicious. It was delicious. It was delicious. Yeah. Just goodness gracious.

It takes a toll. on the body, you know. Well, so we've got a team lunch coming up and I'm table captain. Chicken's fine. Chicken's fine. But I'll be dousing it in the red one. Chicken, fish, like saviche.

It's, you know what it is? It's like a lamb shoulder now. Fucks me. Yeah. It makes me feel sick. Yeah. Oh, one of the great joy is a lamb shoulder. That's really annoying.

Pork I can do a bit of but like pork really rich kind of Is it the sauce element or just the I think the lamb shoulder must be something to do with the meat and the sauce. Because I guess like a lamb shoulder, you're cooking that in some sort of juice, you know, whether it's an oil, whether it's a stock or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a component where it's absorbing a lot. Pork belly is a, as another one I had last night. That can't... I love fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's usually a crowd pleaser. I'm like, love me a bit of fat. I'm all good diet.

For a man with a 0.2% body fat, it's funny you put fat in your gob. We were getting tattoos when I was getting tattoos yesterday and my sister-in-law and her friend were there and they were like getting tattoos. There's a faded a bit on their skin, but they're both pale people. Sorry, they're old. Yeah, yeah. Do you reckon? Ducko's tattoos, like, still look really good because he's got, like, no body fat? Or it's because he's really tanned?

I was like, fuck, you have no idea how erect I am right now. Of the compliments you could give the man. You've just crowbarred two of the bigies. Actually, speaking of tan. You fake tanning for the photo shoot we've got coming up. Or are you at the level you'd like to be? I'm getting a haircut today because, annoyingly, they were closed. They don't open Mondays.

and they were booked out on Saturday. Oh, so that's a, no, but that's, is that a good run-up for you? Yeah, it's just, it's not a day. Like, I'm busy as all fuck today. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, you got a crowbar ready. It's just annoying. It's a really bad timing.

Yeah. And I hate it because, like, my hairdresser, I love him, but he's so, um, like, he's always 10 to 15 late. Yeah. And then even when he just ambles around. Oh, my schedule. And he, like, all right, here you go, come and duck her. And then he talks to you, and I want to talk to him, but, like, when I don't talk, it's

quicker. You know what I mean? And when he does talk, it's slower. Like, so it's just like, and if I feel rude because, is it rude if I go to him and go, fuck sorry, mate, I'm in such a big rush. I'm going to be out of here by quarter to 12. So funny, you say that. Is that rude?

I had this incident with my eyebrow lady because we're mates. We start chatting. Yeah. And it's hard because if, oh, so facial feature movement, she can't laminate my brows when I'm doing that. I literally said to her the other day, I'm so sorry. I feel awful saying this. I've got to be out of here in 15 minutes. Yeah.

Can you do it? And she went, absolutely. And she fucking knuckled down, man. So go in with your tail in between. Yeah, yeah. Like, bro, I'm so sorry. I'm on a fucking clock in. It's because I...

And give him the challenge. Reckin you can get it done in 20. Yeah. And I bet you he'll knuckle down. But get it in at the top. Not once he starts. Yeah, it's going to be at the start. Yeah, geez, I just got a message.

I'm, I forgot we had this lunch thing at 11 or whatever. I don't even need to lie. No, I reckon just go in being like, I am flat chat today. Can't wait to catch up next time. But how... Yeah. It's because I only see him every five weeks or whatever. Yeah.

Or do what, like, you know, like in the cool action movies, they're like, I'll give you a hundred bucks, and if you can get me there on. Hey, I'll suck your, I'll suck your dick for 50 cents, something like that. Now you wonder what the messages you get are the messages you get. What's that movie? Happy Time Murders, baby. For 50 cents, I'll suck your dick. That's great.

It's a Muppet. It's a Muppet. It's a Muppet saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a great thing. I wasn't just saying shit, all right, okay. Well, you can't tell. But no, let me know how you go.

I reckon you can because you're friendly enough and I reckon he'd like the challenge. Yeah, okay. The issue is don't rush and not do a good job. Yeah, I know. He does a better job when he doesn't talk sometimes. Oh, just lock in. Yeah, lock in a bit and you go. Sometimes you can talk and then he can do the thing where I put the scissors away

and they start chatting and animatedly talking and then like a minute and a half later they get back in. I feel like they lose the zone. This is the issue like with us. I don't know if you find it as well. Babs trying to talk over a hair dryer. You can't. Yeah, that's the worst. It's like, no, no, let's chat.

It's in your ear and you're like, I can't fucking hear anything. We'll pick up the chat once you move on to the curling wand, which is sight. Yeah, yeah. When the wand comes out. You have a great day. Thanks so much. Thank you so much. Thank you.

We'll reconvene. Yeah, we'll see you guys Monday. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got that shit that you're like. There's only one show to wake up for you. I'm not that easy to tang. Jess.

Just this tidal wave of liquid entering me. I'm got to explain. Ducco. Oh, I moves a box like the duck went. That's going to be at my tombstone. I'm going insane. Shut up. Poor bitch has forgotten how to drink.

Bavs. Cows and the fish, Billy. I'd be like, oh, well, actually one of them's gone, you know? Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Hey, welcome to Friday. Welcome to the 17th of October. Oh, what a date.

What a date. Yeah. Big shout out to my father. Yes. Roberto's birthday, baby. Oh, Rob, happy birthday. I've organized a cold order to be knocking on his door at about 10 a.m. cheese and onion chips

savoury shapes and all the fruit and nut a man can eat He does love a good fruit and nut That's the staple of my dad's diet Yep He's going to be angry at you for getting him all that I wish him well Yeah good on your job

Happy birthday to the big man Happy birthday speaking of birthday I was in the gym this morning Doing my thing Working out Obviously as you do Obviously Early morning workouts

And now And you warn me this would happen Now it's getting a little bit warmer A few more early rises is there with me in the gym. Don't have a place to myself. Yeah. And there's a couple of people...

All these fake. They're trying to get ready for summer now. You're like, I've been doing these gains for too long. What do they say, Dago? Summer bodies are made in winter? Absolutely. What are you doing in the depths of July? You've already missed out.

Come on. But there's a couple of people doing PT sessions. So the two trainers look over to the door when these old bloke walks in, start singing happy birthday to him. 90 today. Oh. Didn't quite catch his name. You know, in the happy birthday to...

A stop to try and catch him. Raj, maybe. Yeah, Roger. Bill? 90. 90 today. So to that bloke, I also say happy birthday because that was so inspiring. And sharing a day, did you go up to him and go,

it's Rob Fats was on the day today as well. What you're on your booty pops? This is the bloke who asked me if I was, had coming off the street because I carry a big duffel bag with my shower equipment. It was like, oh, if you're coming off, I'm like, accusing me of being homeless. Like, what is this interaction? Yeah. It's a gym chat.

That's just, that's classic gym chat. Classic gym chat. Just, just questioning. people about where they've come from. And every day since he's been like, oh, do you know what I was joking about that that homeless jab? I'm like, okay, Maine. You're not actually homeless. Now it's your birthday, I'm going to let it go. But you know what happens

in between the gym walls is different, you know? It doesn't matter where you've come from. It's just about the games. Yeah. But yeah, so to that guy as well. Has he ever spotted you before? Donnie might die. I've asked him, hey, while I'm doing my donkey kicks on the cable, you just make sure my techniques all right? How's this look? You kick him in the face. That's the end of him. See you, Phil.

Happy birthday, Phil. Anyway, how are you this morning? I'm good. So I'm in a celebratory mood is what I'm trying to tell. Oh, I got carried away last night. I had a few, too many wines. I was going to say, you got some family members in town. You know, you're in-laws.

In-laws are here. Morgan's cousins. Like, there's a few of them here. We went out to dinner. Thursday. And my other wife, Hannah, she came too. So I was... Oh, the whole harrum was here.

It was literally the heart. It was like five girls in me. I was like, oh, the harm's here. Oh, my God, because baby Flo. Oh, Pam, the dog was the only one who could have come home with my... Flo and Pam and my mother-in-law are at home. Oh, hang on. The mother-in-law didn't get the call-up.

Yeah, no. Oh, no, we wanted a little night away from Flo. Oh, I'm sorry, Flo wasn't with shit. Yeah, no, no, no. I was like, that's cruel and unusual punishment. Getting the grandma over for being like, no, you're just, but you're dog sitting. Your dog sitting. We'll take the baby.

She dogs sat and babysat. But then we do that thing, you know, it's like, you start with the wine, it's stale it's saving. So the son's up, oh, yeah, we get a bottle of red all sudden. Oh, should we get another one? All of a minute. I'm like, wait a minute. It's 9 o'clock, and I've got to go to work tomorrow. Thursday's a dangerous day.

And then this is a very, very niche dilemma. I think you are the only person who could appreciate this. Do you also get to a night like this? It happened for me on the Monday where I caught up with the girls. It gets to nine, you go, I didn't even get a good story out of you people. Like, what was the point of this? No content out of this. How hell is this happened?

If I'm going to be out on a weeknight, I'd best be getting a story. Hannah talking about how she wants a husband and can't find one. You've already touched on that once before you can't do it. Time. Boring, next. Did get, did get my tattoo yesterday, though. Now, it's on the board in for about 20 minutes, and I'm, you know me, don't do surprises. I know, you haven't, I've shown babs. I love a spoiler.

You were angling in a certain way I couldn't see. I got three. Oh my God, when it rains, it pours. So now I've got eight little, little sticky things. That makes you the coolest of all of this. I think so. Oh, my God. You know, my inglady, Rage, she says to say hello.

Did you, hello, Rage. Did you go win one in three? No, one you were talking about. One was definite. No, I went in wanting two and then I just chucked in a third when I was in there. Hey, Ray, while I'm here. Yeah, yeah. She's so good too, Rach, because you can just like give her someone.

I gave her a photo and it said something and she just does something up and you're like... You're like me, you know, looking at the bloody, you know, the starter menu. Yeah, do we get this and this. And then the waiter comes, you go, oh, give me three of those. Yeah, why not? Come on. Yeah. Okay, looking forward to that.

Yeah. I did think of you at the restaurant last night, though, because everyone's like, we're just going to get the banquet. I looked at the banquet, and I went, the banquet doesn't offer the good stuff. Thank you. So I went, I went, hey, guys, I don't think we get the banquet.

We're calling an order. We just can't be bothered to look. And we all looked, and then we got other stuff, and it was way better. Because, you know, we're on the Nocky. The knocky was the best thing on the menu. And it wasn't in the banquet. No.

See, they do that. They're cheeky. But I did try and go like, hey, guys, I'm just going to take over here. You're all cool with that? Everyone's like, no, shut up. Shut up. Hey, man, you've got to try that again next time and you'll wear them down.

I've never been prouder of you. I'm so glad you had it. I don't want to keep looking at the menu. I was like, God damn it. I'm so glad you had a wonderful. But you made the right call. Yeah. And then has this only thing I didn't make the call on was the Teramisu, which I don't like

Terry Missou. Okay. You don't like coffee late. No, I like coffee. Ciccating rhythms. Yeah. Yeah, the circadian rhythm, so when he mucked up. Okay.

So they all got Teramisu, but it was like jellyy. Like it was like, it was like, Okay, guys. And they didn't like it. The Italians have worked on Tiramisu since like 6 BC. Don't be muckin with it. But those cheesecake is an option. I said, let's get cheesecake.

They said, no. People think cheesecake is proud or pov, a bit pov, I think. Oh, cheesecake's the best. But a good cheesecake, I couldn't agree with you more. But on a restaurant menu, I do see where people go, nah, I just get that from the bloody local cafe. I get that from the cheesecake factory. Exactly. Oh, I'm so glad to hear you at a nice evening.

Thank you. Now, we are down a man today. Our big serpent man is not here. That's right. Mr. Shylord, Python's on here. So, Babs, you're stepping up. Stepping up. Yeah, I am.

How you feeling? Yeah. Yeah, pretty good. Ready to meet the pressure and the demand. Yeah, you ready to get this done today? Yeah, of course. Great energy. Yeah, she's got a good vibe.

I can feel it. She really went through the white board today. I was like, yeah, she's on. However, yesterday, shy guy looked at the board and went, geez, that's a good-looking show to come. At around this time. Give us an adjective to describe the board today, Babs. Fun.

Ooh, we like fun. See, this is the thing. She set the bar. People might be intimidated. Oh, you've set it too high. No, no. We will meet that expectation. We'll meet it.

It's going to be a fun show. But up next, no dumb thought Friday. If you got one, 131060, call us or text us 04-8-8-106. We had juicy ones from you last week. Absolutely. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

131060. like to share. Oh, yeah. Or if you're a little shy, 04-8-8-18-1069, we've got the text line in front of us. You can always text us your dumb thoughts. Jump in the shared jacuzzi with us, you know?

It's good to be here. May I share? Absolutely. I don't want to cop flack for this one, Ducko. I don't think they're necessarily a bad thing. I just have a question mark around. Okay. Driving along and I see the A-frame

little sign on the side of the road. There's always there, pops up every now and then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mobile speed camera ahead. Yes. And about 25 metres is the parked car, with all the branding. Yeah, it's his speed cameras, yeah. Yeah, everyone goes really slow.

What's the point of putting the A-frame? Mobile speed camera ahead. So everyone then slows down to get their speed check. I'm not saying I want a fine. I'm not saying... Isn't it amazing, though? Like, God, it's helped me. few times. I'm not saying I don't want the warning, but it's kind of dumb. Do you remember

they took it out legally in 2020 or 21? Like the warning. Yeah, the warning. And then they brought it back in in New South Wales. I do think I remember talking about that. And I was accused of being like anti-community because why would I want people to fall for it or not be warned? But my point is, from the government perspective or police whoever runs, those things. Like, why do it? Why warn people and then still have the camera? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, if you're trying to find people, why give them the warning? Yeah. Well, yeah, it's... I just don't get it. But then some, you know, sometimes in highways, they'll have, like, random ones that are hidden,

but no warning. But then, but then on the streets where it's like 60, they'll have one. Do you know what I honestly think would be more effective than the hidden cameras and then you get the fine two weeks later, $200 and four demer points? Yeah. I actually think it'd be more effective and probably, cheaper in the grand scheme of things, just to have signs everywhere, mobile speed camera ahead, but no actual

camera. No camera. Well, it's like you see those signs that's telling people is slow down. It's like you see those signs that say like speed cameras used in New South Wales. Yeah. Usually nine times out of ten, there is no speed camera near that. But I bet you check your speed over and maybe you pull back if you need to. It's more effective

marketing or manipulation psychology. Hey man, I love the sign. The sign is the best thing over. I reckon. It's like great. There it is. I'm going to go 30 in front of you, idiot. The sign is great.

I think the sign plus camera combo is pointless. Pointless, yeah. Just have signs everywhere. People still get done, though. You'd be surprised, I reckon. I reckon people would still definitely. Like, even the ones that it's like mobile speed camera ahead on the highway. It's literally, you can see the car where you can see the signs.

So we're like, it's right. People not so enough. But it's like those ones on the highway where it's like there's the fixed cameras. The fixed cameras. And then they had the signs all coming up. There's like two signs. People still get done by those. Like, it happens.

Many people are done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't fathom the point of it. You just think it's bad business from the cost. I think it's bad business. Just have signs. It feels like they're cheaper to install. There's no running cost.

And they would be more effective because human beings would go, oh. Where is it? Is it coming? Is it coming? Slow down. Yeah. Just silly. A double handle.

But we don't want fines. We don't want fines. I'm saying, have more signs. I think it would be more funny. I've been thinking about this a bit lately and I've been worried about the sun. Yep. Daylight savings upon us, right? Yeah.

Do you think the sun gets blue balls every year? Because it's like, it's just doing its thing. It's just sunning, you know? And then all of a sudden, we human beings, as it's just making its way around the earth, we human beings just go, we even change the clocks on you. And it's like, hang on a minute? I was doing my thing. I was doing my thing.

I was giving you light early. And now look what's happening. This is the classic issue with human beings. Yeah. You can't control the sun. You can? And we think we can. We think we can.

We made up a construct... I'm sorry. I'm all right. We made up a construct called time. And we think everything on the planet is just going to bend to our will. Exactly. And our made-up sense of a clock. Exactly.

The sun don't care. But the sun's now upset that it was brighter earlier. Like at 5am or 6 AM or we were coming doing this show, it was like super bright. Yep. And now it's really dark again. The sun's just going, guys, I'm just trying to help you out early. I appreciate your... Think of the cow.

Your compatriots up. North, who do not care about daylight savings because they are beholden to the wall of the cows. You know, I've got the in-laws here for up north north. The most Queens, I think, oh, Dalai, I just can't get my head around Dalit Savings. I'm like, oh, get over it. Jesus. Come on.

Them and the cows. I will not accept the cow's safe. Anyway, spare a thought for the sun and the cows. Dan, hello. Yeah, good morning, hi. Good morning. We're really good, Dan. Do you have a dumb thought you'd like to share? I do, and it's going to have probably

cause a bit of a controversy on the road. Oh. Cavanas. I missed it. What did you say? Caravanans. How come they don't need their own license when there's some of them bigger than a small truck

where you have to go through an entire course of driving? Oh, that's an interesting one. The small truck argument. So do you drive a small truck? Uh, you do. And still on the road is a courier driver and I'll see all these guys drive around with a long caravan. Yeah.

The weekend warriors. They can't, uh, they can't, uh, they can't, You can't get a license to be able to drive the Caribbean. He has to do a course for a trust that thing is a bit silly. Hey, Dan, case and point. Case and point. I've driven a camp event. Oh dear.

Like, of all the people who shouldn't be handling something very, very large like that. Yeah, yeah. Dan makes an excellent point. Yeah, he does. You need to do a special course and have a special licence and have that denoted on your licence. I really worry we're dipping into ABC territory here. He didn't talk about cyclers

Yeah, you're so true Bus prices Dan, how much are they? Too much! The bus drivers, they've got a special licence They do They really do That's an interesting one Like even my parents have a caravan

They don't think they've got a special licence That's right You know, so They're chuffing around in that big boy They're in a bago How dare they Ray, imagine trying to tell the retirees You know, they're 75 plus

They've just saved up for a caravan You need to go do another licence It had never happened. It's bad for business. It's bad for business. We are minutes away from saying, hey, you want $10,000? Well, call, because Alpha Bucks is on. Yep.

But do you remember at this time yesterday, we met, well, in Alpha Bucks, Steve? Oh, yeah, the job. And he wanted to win $10,000. Yeah, yeah, and he thought he was going to get fired yesterday. He had a 9 a.m. meeting. Oh, yeah, and you said, Steve, let us know if you get fired, mate. I just want to think about you. And we're like, what's going to happen?

He said he had a 9 a.m. meeting with HR and they said we're a support person and we all went 9 a.m.'s not good bro. We're comfy clothes because they're just going to send you packing. Yeah. He did he didn't lose his job. Yes. He sent a DM. Just an update. I didn't lose my job with the party emoji, the woo, with the blower.

It was actually the complete opposite. They got a promotion. They commended me on my hard work for the past year and a half. offered me an extension on my contract. Oh, Steve. He put the shrug emoji and said, well, I completely misread that one. Daddy's getting more money, baby. Love the show.

Thanks for having me. Here's what I think. I think it's our doing. Because if he'd played alpha bucks and won, he might have got made redundant because the universe would flip it. Because he lost, maybe they were like, you know what? Maybe his management was on the way to fire Steve. And one day the guy's like, no, you know, I'm not going to fire Steve.

I'm going to give him a 10K pay rise. Oh. In this economy, may as well. May as well. Good on you, Steve. We actually did have a couple of DMs after the show yesterday. Just wanting to know. Well, listening to the podcast going, excuse me, I thought there might have been an update in the podcast.

Steve. What's happened to Steve? My guy. Thank you, Steve. I actually was about to say to Babbs, hey, can you call him back? Because I haven't heard, but I've just checked. We need to know. We need to know.

I wouldn't have been able to rest. No. You think I could have gone into the weekend? Not knowing if Steve was sobbing into his pillow. I must admit, you had to remind me Steve was just there. And I was like, we spoke to a Steve yesterday, but now I'm fully on board. And I miss him. I miss him so much.

Well, we're proud of you, Steve. Love you, Steve. So, whatever your day holds, maybe you've got, this is a great. Maybe you've got something daunting ahead. Yeah. Steve had that 9 a.m. HR. He was scared. He was scared.

We got him through that. Something's on your agenda today that you're scared. It's like holding your hands in the bath. That's what we are right now. We're in a bath. I'm going to hold your hand. Duccoo likes to sit nude in the tub and wait for the water just to fill up around him. It calmerizes my testies.

It makes it better. 131060 if you want to play. Let's acclimatized together. It's always hard when I bring up that chat when chagos I'm here. It's just the ladies and me. Well, we are so often outnumbered. How many times in recent weeks have you gone sausage party? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You want Babzers away. But there's a different energy, isn't it? There is a different energy. Let's testy chat. More vulva chat, please. 1060. Give us a call. Hey, we'll play our fox with you next.

Can you stay? Jess and Duckow. It's up for bucks. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, of course, say pass.

We come back if there is time. We are playing for $10,000 our player today. It's the one. It's the only. It's Lachlan. Hello, Lockie. How's it going? Loe, hey.

Lucky. We're so good. Go-day. Good-day. Go-day. It's Friday. It's Friday. It's my dad's birthday

Yes Locky I know Rob would want you to win $10,000 The question is He's a very financially sensible man He'd want you to put it in Put it in shares Put it in high interest savings

But the question is What do you want to spend the money on? I want to go out New Workuit Yeah baby So what do you do with yourself Currently getting into waterproofing and stuff

Oh okay So you've got a lot of stuff To toe around. Creight. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, Lachlan, maybe you'd like to check out the Mazda B-T-50. Oh, yeah.

Oh, they're lovely. They are. It does love a good Mazda. They, that starts with M. Yeah. And that's the letter you're going to work with. All right. That's good later, Locke.

Yep, I feel good. All right. All right. All right. Let's get it. We'll start after the first question. Are you ready? I am.

All right. Starting with the letter M. We need you to name. An occupation. Mechanic. A periodic element. Mercury. A country.

Madagascar. A musical. Oh, pass. A type of cheese. Pass. A six-letter word. Oh. Pass on that one, too.

A type of chocolate. Milk chocolate. A video game. Minecraft. A beauty brand. Five. Ah, mate, we came out strong with those first three and we were quick, too, chewing up like four seconds.

I thought we got a player, but we got five. We got five, we got three nine. Let's go through the ones you didn't get. A musical, some of the big ones are there. Mum and me are Mary Poppins. A type of cheese, one of the biggest of the cheeses, Mozilla. That actually, part of fact, the most consumed cheese in the world. Of course you know that, but yeah, I could see that.

A six-letter word, mother or magnet, there's obviously a few, a beauty brand. to Mac or Mabelene. Everything else you answered you got correct. Look, Lockie, you don't get the Ute, but you do get $100 suspended crox. Oh, even better. Yes, Croctober, baby. No, I'm shopping today.

Yes. Who needs a youth when you've got some new wheels, right, Lockie? Yeah, new foot falcons. New foot falcons. Wack them in sports mode. Bang, off you go. Love that. Energy, Locky.

Have a wonderful Friday. Thanks for joining the show. You too. Thank you. I can't believe you made me wait this long. I've been so good. You have been very good. Not bugging you. I've went to my girl, Mamudy, Inc. Her name is Rach. Romans 8 tattoo is where she bases herself. She's the fine line queen if you want to go to her.

Yes, she has done your stickers to date. Your meerkat. She's so good. Your forex can. Your little scrunchy fist. Yep. I took my family as well and they got some, like well, my in-laws. And they loved it. They've got a few tats. And they've got a few tats. And they're like, geez, this is the best that they've ever had. Don't you just? This is how I feel when I recommend a good cafe. Faye or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, I felt good. It feels good. And also, like, having a tattoo... I was like, yeah, this is my ink gal. Yeah. It's what it is. You've got an artist. Yeah, yeah, I got an artist.

Just in your back pocket. She said to me, geez, ducco, you're a lot more calm this time than you were the first time. First time I was so nervous. I was clean skin. Looking down the barrel of five. So I got three. So I got...

You went in getting two. Yeah. Yeah. So I got one for Flo. Yes, which I can't wait. Which I designed. And then she obviously, like, cleaned up. And then I got one for Pam.

I got the outline of Pam's floppy ears and her little head. Oh, that's cute. And then I just got the word bang tattooed on me because like, bang! Because it wouldn't be ducco without a little impulse. Yeah, every tattoo means something, bar that. So you and Morgan have talked about getting matching tattoos for a while, but then you sort of shifted to you want to get something to honour your daughter. Yes.

Six-month-old Florence. So because flow, like, you know, go with the flow, wave kind of vibe. I wanted something with a wave, but I didn't just want a wave because I don't really like that. Okay. And the last time you were in the wave, you dislocated your shoulder. Well, you know, there's a love affair I have. Yes, with the ocean. Yeah, love-hate relationship.

Yeah, yeah. So, anyway, if you're... So I got this Floyd tattoo, so it's basically her name and it's, and it's cursive and it goes into a wave. Oh, my God. That's beautiful. It's really nice, hey, and I got it... Oh, my God, she's, it almost... That should be her signature when she grows up.

Yeah, and then I got Pam's ears. We've got some pictures. Pam's little floppy ears, which is really cool because she's always got little floppy on, because she's, you know, always depressed. We'll put a pickup on. And then bang. Jess and Ducko, Instagram story. That's, what made you do the angle there? It's sort of on a slightward, downward, down with the bang.

Because now, like, you know, there's like the complexion of them all is happening. That's right. You've got a constellation for it. I have heard, you know, some people get those full sleeves of the coy fish and sort of tribal jungle. You've gone like the sticker situation. It's like Flows pulled out one of their sticker books and gone one for you in for daddy. Yeah, yeah. And they can be hidden by shirt, but they're still sort of visible enough.

So I'll put it up on the gram if you want to see it. Yeah, yeah, the flow is gorge. Isn't it cool? I was very happy with that. And then Morgan saw it and went, oh, I want to get that exact one. And would she get it in the same position? She was wondering where she'd get that. I don't know where she's going to get it.

But I was very proud of that, the flow one, because, I mean, she obviously tied it up because, you know, I'm left-handed and I'm not very neat. And it would have just been smudge sitting. Yeah, yeah, it was. She's like, you want me to just smudge on your arm. No, no, that says flow when it goes into a wave. Yeah, flow into a wave. I've had the idea. That's so special.

It was great. It was really nice. So go check her out as well. She's having a 50% off sale coming into Halloween. Oh, okay. For ink. So if you want it, Mamudi Inc has her name for age. Is that quite a popular time for people to get ink? She said it's the most popular time of year.

People come and get themed Halloween tats, but at no other time of the year. That's interesting. And you know what she also told me, which I wanted to bring to the team. So apparently a new trend that is happening. In the tattoo world? Yes. So if you have a loved one that has a tattoo and they pass away, people are getting the tattoos cut off them.

and like some form of taxidermied kind of thing so it's preserved and putting them up into like frames in the house. So like your big back tat, that's like number 12 with black bean sauce on your spine. So if you die, Angus would peel that off. Get that cut off, that layer of skin peeled off and cut off, framed and preserved and it would be in the house. Yeah, people are doing that.

You know, I love art and I think it's very subjective, it's very eclectic. I certainly don't have a style that I'm drawn to. It's all bits and bobs, whatever speaks. that On my gallery wall A little one here and there I can see But imagine if you've got like a big skull

Or something on your back And you're like, oh I'm going to take this whole bag Wow! So tattoo artists don't do that No, no no Is that through the more? I'm not sure Who actually does that?

And do I take that piece of flesh To my framer and go, hey, can you put this behind the glass? How do you preserve the dead tattooed flesh? Ah, because it would rot. Yeah, I would feel so. So you have to mummafoil it. You have to like pickle it. And then surely,

like frays at the edges. It starts curling. Oh my God. That's amazing. Wild, right? I couldn't believe. When she told me that story, I was like, that's disgusting, but also kind of nice. I thought you were going to say people for a loved one are getting the tattoo they had. Like, if I die, you would go to your girl and get my tattoo inked on you as a way to honor me. I just had this now. I would be getting that monstrosse here on my back.

Do you have an answer for us, perhaps? I do. So it's a specialised service. So they treat it with a chemical. It's called like formaldehyde. It's formaldehyde. It's how you do like the body. Oh, it doesn't stink up the funeral home during the funeral.

It's like a spray a bit of formaldehyde on it. Yeah, I think you're pump it in. The water and fat with silicon or something. Right, so it's like jelly. Like a resin. Yeah, and then you can put it in a nice photo frame. Remember, when my dog got de-sex, we were going to put the balls in resin. And the doctors did say, not the vet, doctor friends said, you're going to have to

mummify them or they'll rot. Yeah. Similar with the tattoos. Wow. But anyway, I've told Angus and he's going to get yours. So he'll peel off my chicken chummy. You can have my A-H, his initials on me, on me hip if you want to keep something. Yeah, can't have those.

What's that on your wall? That's Jess's hip. Yeah. There's a h. It means something. It's a whole thing. Jess and Ducco. Right now, this is a bit of fun.

I thought I'd run the ladies in the team through this one because there's been a list doing the rounds. It's a very basic list for men about revealing the things they discovered after a woman moved in with them or they got a girlfriend. Okay. I love this. Because when you grow up, maybe your mom, your sister, whatever, you know, you're an

idiot. And you're running your own race. You've got blinders on to the plights, the perils, the trials, the tribulations. But once you get a partner, and maybe it's just you two in the house, aren't your eyes opened? Oh yeah, very much open. So I want to see if you can relate to this or if your partners relate. First one

so much hair. Hair everywhere. Hair on the shower. Hair in my boxes. I vacuumed the house regularly. Just so much hair. Which I absolutely relate to. Yeah.

We shed, baby. Yeah, we do. But like me, I mean, I'm blonde, so you don't see it as much. See, Morgan's blonde. My onsuit will often look like a carpet. By the end of the week, I'm like, oh, I've got to run the vacuum over this. Morgan does that thing.

I know you two don't do, but she puts the hair on the wall in the shower when it comes down in the shower. And I come in arms like cousin hits on the wall. She's running her own race there. I cannot. not defend her in that regard. It's bizarre. The next one is they do, in fact, poop. Do we?

I could see you still hiding it. We have no bodily functions. We're Kim Jong-un. We just use all the food that goes in as fuel. Is this real? Nothing comes out the butt. This one, being hungry is a real thing. Yeah, yeah.

What a rude awakening if you were not privy to that growing up. Oh, boy. That can be absolutely shocking. That's when you realize. I love this, because this is a group of men all coming around like a man's It's like they had like a forum or something. Yeah, yeah, it is. How's this one?

They actually appreciate small efforts more than big gestures. Really? No, but bad, isn't that? But truly, though. That's case in point because I think. Yeah, yeah. Oh, if I unload dishwasher, I get happy time. Stereotypically, stereotypically, I think boys go, bigger is better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, let's just make every day. I'm going to get flowers, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. No, no, it's just literally. No, but it becomes, I'll get flowers on. birthday. Now, man, pick us a daisy you saw on the side of the road as you coming home that night. That's nice.

That would mean more. Don't you reckon? I'm taking notes. Boys, if you're listening, take notes. We want to know you're thinking about us at odd times of the day. They do stuff, random stuff, like slap your butt or air hump you when you're asleep. Just weird things. You know what I like?

I like the Apewate. I like to stick a finger. You like the Hopawadi. Yeah, I like that. What's that game in Japan? It's a full game where you poke someone up the butt. That's that, isn't it? Well, Hoppawati is the Australian term because he was the rugby league player who did it in the game.

I didn't actually know where that originated from. But yes, we do like. Hopiwati and he did it. It was a Bulldogs player, I do like to get nice handfuls of butt. You know how you're a honker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Angus doesn't honk me. Yeah, Morgan squeezes my butt.

I think I honk him. Yeah, you're a honker. Without breasts, the only thing squeezable are the butt cheeks. Yeah. Oh, I like that. I love when Jethro yawned that I stick my finger in his mouth. See, that's weird. And he gets so angry.

I get so funny. Yeah. Because Angus goes. You ruined the yawn. I didn't complete the yawn. You know what I need to do? Ladies, what are you doing? You know what's the weird thing you're doing?

Only to your partner. That's a bit of fun. They move like ninjas through the house. You never hear them until they're standing in the doorway or right there. Oh, I can't relate. I'm accused of being a stomper. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm pretty quiet usually.

Morgan's a stomper as well. I feel like we need to put a bell on, Babs. You would be, I feel like you sneaky like the housemaid's not quiet. Yeah. I hear them stomping. Taking a shower and washing their hair at two different types of showers. Yes.

I learned that one. The everything shower? Good boy. That's a well-trained boy. Morgan, I'll get everything shower. I go, geez, okay, I'll take flow for an hour. Staying in the shower round, Ducker, I found out that Angus has been using Babs, you'll appreciate these.

He's been using my fancy conditioner on the two-year-old. No. He goes, it makes it easier to brush her hair. I went, do not waste my... Yeah, Morgan's angry. I use her stuff too. So she's got blonde, like it's like purple shampooy. You shouldn't use that because it actually would have a bit of a bit of a lot.

Blondie thing. Dye component, a toner component. Yeah, my dad used to use my mum's and then started going grey and then was like, what's going on here? Okay, this one, a few more. Turns out they're just as nervous around us as we are around them. I think we need to look at this boy's relationship, maybe a bit. They are extremely perceptive towards emotions and demeanour.

Like, this is just dude, this is just doing like, oh my God. 99% of the time when they come to us to vent or go off about something, that is really all they want to do. Don't get your fixing hat on fellas. I think dad's fall into this trap. Partners fall into this trap. Just let me vent. Yeah, I don't need a solution.

I just want, you know. I need to feel supported. I am supporting you both. Thank you. Very good. You're well trained. You had two sisters, a very good mother and now a great wife. You're well trained.

This is my favourite. Most women don't actually care about your car, your abs, your muscle or your peen size. They love you for you. Sorry, that was a bloke contributing that to this forum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a very sweet. Is that true, though, right?

Totally. Jess and Ducko. Mom, man. Okay. Are we jumping into the tent? Please. Geez, Bab. What's happening in here?

Close it up, man. Actually, maybe leave it open. We need to get some. You're going to air this out. Air it out. Look all these people. Get out of here. Scurry in here.

I need it. I booked it. Just get out of my tent. I put the Outlook Calendar invite. I need it. I had one hell of a phone call with my mom yesterday, man. She calls me. I said, Ma, what's going on?

And she straight off the get-go. Had an energy about her. But also, you know how you accuse me of putting the ethnic voice on when things start to get a little heightened? I heard it in her. Oh, you heard on the other side. How did it feel? From the get-go.

Yeah, okay. And she used the... It's zero to 100, isn't it? Zero to 100. I don't know if I've been on the receiving. Yeah, you probably wouldn't have. Well, at least in recent times, I can't recall. Yeah.

But she says this to me. This is how we start the call, Ducko. Yeah. Okay, and I called my mum and said, ma, I'd love you to make the cake. I'm putting you in charge of the cake. Now, me being an idiot, thought she would be on it. I thought she would love that responsibility. I go on and on and on, truthfully, how good of a cook she is.

And I want to show her off at my daughter's party. I said, can you be in charge of the cake? Now, she was a little trepidacious when I did. Is she a cake maker? Okay, she's much better at a main meal. Yeah, right. Sweets are not really her thing because she doesn't eat sweets. Oh.

So she makes a killer tiramisu. She's never tried. Right. She makes a killer cheesecake. She's never tried. She's taking our word for it. She actually is very skilled. She's a good cook, but she has no ego about it so she doesn't back herself.

Right. But growing up, she always made our cakes. So I said, can you do the cake for Lucia? I think that would be awesome. And she went, it's not my oven. That was her first concern. Oh, that oven is a big one.

What equipment do you have? And I went, oh, get whatever you need. Just will you do that? She went, I'll do it for Lucia. But I made the mistake a couple of days after that initial phone call of sending her one of the cakes from the Women's Weekly. Remember the old school 90s women's weekly? The cake book. The Caterpillar cake.

A girlfriend of mine posted, she made the duck. Oh, the duck cake. The gorgeous yellow duck, covered in, like, popcorn and yellow icing with potato chips as a beak. Yes, yep. It's a 3D upright duck. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. It is. Are you getting her to make that because I'm there because ducker?

Well, I just... The synergy. The synergy, man. And we're at a wildlife nature reserve. I said an animal would be perfect. So I sent a screenshot of the duck. Sent it to my mom two weeks ago. She went, oh gosh, all right.

Oh, wow. Good honor. So what she calls me about yesterday is that. for two weeks, she hasn't slept. She is stressing the F out. Because it's a big thing, the cake. Everyone comes out, everyone's going to judge. If it looks dodgy, everyone, who did that?

That's the word she used. She goes, I need styrofoam. I need a reliable oven. I need equipment. Yeah, this is a bigger project. And I'm stressing out. Fair enough. All I want to do is interrupt and go, don't worry about it then.

I'm sorry. I just thought it was a cute cake. And I believe in your skills. But she yelled at me to not interrupt. so I had to let her go. She continues on. I've been losing sleep. So what I've done, Jessica, what I've done?

I found a local bakery. And cake maker is their specialty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she says the name of this cake maker. And I did interrupt and I went, oh, I know them. She went, well, they don't know you. I said, what's it? She's trying to get discounts.

Just 10? No, just 20. To be something here. What she did is explain to this cake maker, her dilemma. The party's only in a week's time. It's not a lot of notice. And I want the women's weekly duck cake. This cake maker's gone, that's not a lot of notice.

And they can be quite intensive. I'll give you that. Yeah, yeah. I'll do it for $440. Holy hell. And my mum said, now, Jessica, I love you and I love Lucia. That's a bit of money. I went, ma, can I interrupt you?

Don't interrupt me. I asked her if she knows you. you. She didn't. And I told her to look you up on Instagram so you could do, and she used the word collaboration. I said, Mama, you're pimping me out.

Yeah, yeah, she is. Good on her. Once she looked you up, and I had to sweet talk her, Jessica, because she was not a fan and she did not know who you are. I even tried to reference the column you do in that monthly magazine. She has agreed to a collaboration. Oh, shut up. How much

Four, and I went, oh, so what, she'll do it for free? For $300. $100 off for a real, please. I said, Ma, can I interrupt yet? She went, well, do you agree? Because I need to lock it in. I'm just getting deals, Jess. I said, ma, we're buying a Woolworth's mudcake.

I am not doing it for a $100 discount. Oh, that's so funny. That completely illegitimizes everything I've done with my other. That's so funny. Brand partnership. She was getting you out there and not even for good. She doesn't know your rates. Give her a rate card, for Christ.

Give her your rate card. And when I told her what I've done in the past, she was so deflated because she thought she'd hustled really well. And I went, Ma, that is insulting. She's like, you're going to make a post on the MySpace and on the Facebook.

And you have to make the hashtag. I said, I went, Ma, at the cake shop, I'm sorry, I'm going to put it out there. I apologize. I'm going to do. I'm sorry, I put this on your shoulders. Forget the whole thing. You know what I was this close to saying?

I'll just get my mother-in-law to do it, but I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. Do I want to die? I'm going to rock up on this birthday and be like, where's the good cake? Where's the duck cake? Who was in charge of the cake? This is Povow. Now we've circled back around. Now, oh, is this? Yes, sorry, Babs has just typed in.

People in the office thought you were going full Karen at someone. So did I. Yesterday when I left, I forgot to bring this up with you. You were having an argument on the phone. That was with my mom. Oh, my God. Because you were like using real. I was, geez, what's going?

going on that I don't know about. Do you hear the energy I had to match? And everyone in the office was like, what's up with Jess? And I was like, I don't know. I thought I was being relatively quiet. I was in a board room. No, we could all hear it. Near the kitchen.

You were getting ethnic too. You were just you and your mum going, you listen to me. You listen to me. You're listening to me. I had to bring her down a peg. Not only did she pit me out completely inappropriately by not getting a full discount. She was so mad and then thought she'd done so good. And I'm like, just.

Forget the whole thing. So where we've circled back to now. Where are we going? She's making a butterfly cake. Jess and Ducko. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer.

twice, and if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we are playing for $10,000. Our player today is. Well, here we go. It's Karen. Oh, thank God. Thank God you here, Kaz.

Good morning. Morning. Oh, babe, what's motivating you for a Friday? What are we spending $10,000 on? A trip to the Maldives. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. I'd have to go to the Maldives.

I wish you'd called at 630, Karen. When we play at 630, the letter was. M. That's okay. That's okay. That's a beautiful motivation. What, you and your partner, you and the gals, the family. The family.

Gorgeous. Yeah, nice. That'd be good fun. All righty. Well, we have used up M today. That's okay. The letter you're going to work with, I have a slight bias to this letter, but it's Jay, baby.

It's a good letter. Solid. It's a good letter. Jay? Jay for Jamaica. Or Jess. I think a hop, skip and a jump. Yeah, you may as well.

If you can't go to the Maldives or the Maldives or whatever they call it, go to Jamaica. Go to Jamaica. Yeah. All righty, Karen, you're ready to rock with Jay? Okay, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter J, we need you to name.

A food. Jam. An animal. Jaguar. A musical. Path. A board game. Gemongy.

An adverb. Jumpy. A six-letter. a word. A car brand. Jaguar. A rom-com. A Aussie athlete.

Justin's a couple brand. A perfect brand. Just didn't finish it. Look, we got ourselves five, perhaps four. Jumpy, is that a... No, that would be an adjective. Yeah, okay. I didn't know if it would be or if it wouldn't.

L-Y, baby, L-Y. Joyfully, jokingly is what we're after there. musical Jersey Boys are one of the greats. Jesus Christ, superstar. Oh, we love that. A six-letter word, take a stab, jumper or jungle. A rom-com, just go with it, or Juno. An Aussie athlete, Jessica Fox. Babs' favorite Jesse Arthur's from the Broncos.

Oh, yeah. Look, Karen, we don't go to Jamaica or the Maldives, but we are getting the next best thing. $100 suspender crocks, baby. It's croctober. Oh, perfect. The kids will love it. There you go. Absolutely. Use that for a stocking stuffer, maybe, Karen.

Or if they've been good, You can have a new pair of crocs They'll be just as happy Like kids we can't go to the melanchoves Oh but you've got crocs Yeah Just as you know what they say New footwear

Just as good as a holiday That's a holiday for your feet True too Nothing beats a jet two holiday Your feet don't know You're in the same town Your feet think This is unbelievable

Just get it How's the comfort Oh look at this You can decorate it With the jiz bits Yeah we'll give you a little jizzy bit as well Karen Thanks so much for joining the show

Have a wonderful Friday Thank you. You too. Bye-bye. We do play again tomorrow for $10,000. Up next, your last chance of Friday's live tickets for getting involved. We're talking accidentally sending photos to someone or posting them somewhere you don't want them to be. Will you accept even just a text? A text, yeah, absolutely. I want to talk about bravery.

There was a passage I read in the Game of Thrones many years ago, a conversation between a father and his son. The son asked the question, is it possible for a man to still be concerned? considered brave when on the inside he's truly afraid to which he's father of pride when you're truly afraid that's the only time a man can be brave.

Let's cheer on these brave souls and let's hope they can be origin players tonight. Enjoy your football. Philly Gould, the Gould father, Gassie G what's he done? It's not origin time. I'm thinking away. NRL's wrapped up. I know. You are allowed

to play that in its entirety three times a year. If not one. If not one. Just the one. The 27 seconds needs the full play. I've also just got... I want to talk about bravery.

And that's it. That's probably applicable here. Yeah, well, he's been brave. 131060. Who'd you accidentally send it to? Did you accidentally post it or text it? Oh, yeah, yeah. How many times we've heard of, you know,

oh, I thought the Facebook status update was Google search. So I've posted what I was looking up. What have I done? What have I done? So Phil Gould had a moment to forget on social media. He loves a bit of X, formerly known as Twitter. He's keeping that finger float. He absolutely is.

He always posts some weird cook things. It's like Phil, we'll all on Instagram and TikTok. No, no. Yeah, yeah. Ex is where it's. And he posts things about rugby league. And he goes, funny game, rugby league. Like, he's posted like he's doing a pregame speech.

He is the modern day Aristotle. He is the modern day philosopher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just a grumpy old man. So the Canary Bulldogs GM, Philly Gould was caught with his pants down by Eglide users in his post on. X. 67 year old Gould had an appreciation for the toilet door that went all the way to the ground. So he's basically him sitting on the throne, pants down, holding the boom a hold,

double-handed, taking a photo of the toilet door. And the caption is, toilets, where the doors come all the way down to the floor. Who thinks of this stuff? Brilliant. I love that, you know, caught with a pants down is a little bit of a euphemism. It's just a saying when you're caught embarrassed or you've stuffed up. He literally has his pants down. And he's taking a photo of the tour door. And the first is a little bit of a fewfamism. And the fact that he's just so in love with the fact that there's a toilet door. I mean, doors that go all the way to the bottom are great, so you don't have that little gap in there. See, I disagree.

I get, like, I didn't think I was claustrophobic, but I like a little airflow. And also, I like the safety net of if the lock phase. Because you need airflow for yours, because otherwise it will kill you. I like the idea that if the lock mechanism busts, you can crawl under. You can crawl under. Whereas Philly obviously prefers the tomb like chamber, but not realizing it's quite a reflective metal door. So you can see him

sitting on the tut, pants down. Double handhold. Taking a photo. I want to talk about bravery. It's so obvious. You can see the reflection. Do you reckon he just did it for clicks? He then deleted the original post.

And then it got whipped around the internet as like wildfire. As you can imagine. He said, oops, how embarrassing. Hashtag constanza. Oh, there is a whole Seinfeld thing about George wanting the doors to come to the floor. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

That is a mistake George would make. Hilarious, feel good. But we thought. Do we have how many followers or something? I mean, it doesn't matter once it on the internet, it can obviously ripple effect out. But just his own followers. He's got a fair few. I'm not 100% sure.

He's accidentally posted. He's essentially posted a nude. Yeah. Feel Goodsue and Thirst Traps. So we thought, what did you accidentally post? Who did you accidentally send it to? I've got a great story of a gal I go to the gym with, and she told this to me a while ago.

Her and her hubby, they were doing a bit of long distance. This is a couple years ago, from time to time. To keep it spicy, they were sending, you know, some sexy pics. However, the sexy picks they were sending was via Instagram DMs, not text. They were Instagram DMing. I don't know why. That does feel fraught with danger.

And she's got, like, her kids' school parents on her social media as well, and it was like a school day, yad-a-ya. She has accidentally, rather than sent, she's accidentally posted a photo, full nude. On the story. On her story, everything in there. And she didn't realize until someone messaged her and said, not sure if you were meant to do this. How long do you reckon had passed?

I think she said it was about 10 minutes. That's long enough. It's long enough. You could only have said 10 seconds there that I would have thought maybe only a couple. That screenshots going around forever. Oh, my God. Imagine you're like, oh, this is one of our kids friends' parents. You got to take your kids out of school.

You got to take your kids on school. She, to her credit, just, you know, owned it, bared it, made it, made it a lesson for her kids. She definitely bared it, didn't she? Yeah, made it a lesson for her kids and moved forward. Yeah, posted it on her real Instagram. Yeah. 13, 10, 60. Who'd you accidentally send it to? I imagine there'd be, I meant it for my husband, I sent to the boss. Or something like that. Or you're bitching about someone and you sent it to them. That's always a worry. I've actually been on the receiving end of that. It's like a screenshot. And then they're trying to, sorry, my phone is glitching. What am I was doing?

Okay, you don't like my outfit today? No worries. 13, 10, 60. Who'd you accidentally send it to, or have you accidentally done a Phil Gould? Yeah. Have you accidentally posted? Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko with you, and of course, the one and only. I want to talk about bravery. Phil Gould. The Gould father. He wants to talk about bravery. Yeah. When it comes to accidentally posting,

essentially a nude. Yeah. To Twitter. Pants and undies by his feet, taking a photo very impressed with a toilet door. A very reflective metal surface that clear as day shows a pooing philgles. Someone at 67 years of age shouldn't be posting a toilet door on Twitter anyway, but he's done

that. That's what gets them excited. Yeah, that's so true. It's made his day. Actually, you know what I'd love? I don't follow. I don't even have my login for X. I don't remember.

I'd love to see what his repertoire is on Twitter. Like, is that his stick? He does post some weird things. Yeah, no. And weird captions. Has he been around all public bathrooms going, this one hell of a toilet. This is a great toilet door. I don't like this door, whereas he found a golden standard. Yeah, yeah. Posted it and then didn't realize you could see him in the reflection.

Everyone's come out laughing at him. It made us go on 13, 1060. Who'd you actually send it to accidentally? Was it a text? Was it a post? What did you do? We go to Sally on 131060. Good morning, Sally. Good morning. Sally, have you done a Phil Gould? I certainly have. Okay. You're in good company. I was, I have a stepmom, and she's, her name is Karen and she is the epitome of it I was writing to my sister about her just saying, oh, I can't stand and look what she's done. And I've obviously

sent it to my step-room Karen. Why does your brain do that? Why does your brain go? You've been talking about Karen. Yeah, it was horrendous. I couldn't even deny it. I just had to own it. What did you say? Yeah. I said, look, I'm sorry. I was having a bad day. Oh, good on you. At least, you know. Horrendous. Has your relationship been better since then?

Not really It doesn't sound like you'll get any worse though Kylie, good morning Hello Your daughter's pulled a Phil Gould Oh yes Don't give your kids You log in to your phone

I was getting ready for work Little did I know She's on my Snapchat Taking a video of me getting dressed Completely naked And posted it to my Snapchat story For everybody to see And you wouldn't have know it was up there

No No. How long, like, did someone DM you or message you? Yeah, yep, yes. After how long? How long it had been up on the internet? Oh, maybe a good hour or so. Everyone's how nice.

That's screenshot galore. Oh, geez, what did you do? You got it, you deleted it and just, how long did that sit with you? Oh, my gosh. I haven't forgotten it. And now she's no longer to touch my phone. I've just, yeah, scarred me. That's very fair.

Oh, that would be horrific. And that's the issue. Like, it's one thing if they take a photo just in your camera roll. You don't know if they post it so you can't rectify. Honestly, Snapchat's probably the best of the outcome there. It's better than that than Instagram. Yeah, it's true. Or X, like Philly Gould.

Kate, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, great, babe. Can you relate to Phil Gould? Look, I can. About 20 years ago, when I was much younger and stupider, I was irately bitching about a boss at the time to a friend.

and I thought I sent it to my friends but I sent not one but two messages to my boss and was like you're using names you're using specifics you couldn't get all around it yeah there was names there was a pleaties there was you name it I did it and a boss like that's that's a power dynamic there it's hard to work around

yeah it was quite awkward afterwards yeah did you get sacked or No, because she wasn't a big boss And look, to be honest, everyone knew how much of a bitch she was So Kate's like, I had the truth defence Yeah, everyone's like, yeah, 100%. You can't be done for defamation if it's true.

Sam cut out as well, she was on the line. Babs just typed him, Sam's uncle accidentally sent a D-Eak, P-Eak to his sister. Oh, God. Have you getting that confused? Yeah, no, it's like having, you know, Sally F and Sally M in your phone. This is why we've got to use full names in our contact lists. And then she said Sam's mom's show Sam.

You don't need to see your uncles. Okay. Jesus, my uncle, Uncle Rick, why? You're going to take an eye out. Jess and Ducko. Well, what are we getting with Jess and Ducko? Shagai, you've been learning a new language. Anyway, did we get how to say nan?

Yeah, how played a point. No, no, no, no, no, no, mate, what do you say it? And then we'll have the review of what it actually is. Naeen, nayo? Nae, nay. Made spot on. I've heard the same thing. Oh yeah, this came after we told you about the woman in China

who ate a bunch of frogs to help cure her back pain. No surprises there, it didn't work. But it did get Jess and Ducker rhyming Dr. Seuss-style. I wonder if Taylor Swift would consider doing a remake of that song, Fate of Ophelia. Yeah. Call it the Fate of Zhang. So I can go on to explain.

It's not as catchy. Fat of Ophelia, Fate of Zhang. I reckon there's more that rhyme. with Zhang than Ophelia. Hang. Thank you. You've already got one. Fang?

What rhymes with Ophelia? You've already got two. Yeah, yeah. He's having a family. Sorry, I didn't realize you're a songwriter. Yeah, I am. Sang. Oh, there you go.

Zhang sang and hang for a fang. Nothing rhymes with Ophelia. Yeah, true. She should have gone with the fate of Jane. The fate of Jane. Yeah. We were talking off air about how we'd manage the show if one of us was to suddenly drop dead. Let's just say Ducko was caught offside by Shagai.

plan if he was the one to die. And the shogging, I was like, oh, geez, what would we do? And he started getting his little producer hat on. And then you just were like, well, we'd have to come on air tomorrow and tell the people and then take some time. We'd absolutely have to take some time. I would have to recalibrate. How am I ever going to laugh again?

Because it would all feel like a betrayal to you. But what do we do for three? Do we wait till eight o'clock? Like, do we say bigger downsment? Like, what? You can't drop it at six. No, it's wasted. So, Sean, I was genuinely.

It's wasted. It is. Chai goes like, guys, hold up to six did the thing in the week. But here's the real kicking, right? Because then I buzzed out to Babbs and I said, what would you do? Babs goes, well, I'd imagine we'd take some time off. And I said, how much? Babs goes, at least a couple of weeks.

And shy guy, by himself typing an email goes, a couple of weeks, the show can't stop. The show must go on. You would not care if I died. At least Babs has given me a few weeks and Jess was never doing laughing again. I don't think I could. You were just ready to work again and don't do the content. We're rolling in the new one.

Let's go. It's coming up to that time of year. Secret Santa time. Everyone on this team just hopes we don't pull Jess's name out of the hat. And here's why. I love Secret Santa. You're gift-giving. That's why.

I love gift-giving and I love gift-receiving. Let's be real. My issue is putting a $10 limit with your colleagues. You are going to end up with trash and it is pointless. The best thing is just drawing you as a secret channel. The worst thing is drawing Jess. Yeah. Like, it is.

I disagree. I'm so easy. All you have to do is ask me. Yeah, but then you go. Here's my $150 present I want. We're like, the limit's 40 bucks. I just sent my mom. Hey, Ma.

Can I have this for Christmas? How much? What are you talking? Wow, she gets it today. She signs up. She gets 15% off. And what's that? It's only...

Yeah. This is a couple hundred. Hey, shy guy. Can we just have one week where we don't talk about doodles on this show? But Babs, the cookers deserve to know this fact about Ducco's past. Did you know Ducco invented puppetry of the penis? Does the distract his lady come back? Yeah, I did the yo-yo before I did.

He had to get real creative. Yeah, I did, yeah. It's hard to distract them, obviously. Look over here, quick. Hissed it in? Yeah, I don't know. Have a look at this. It's a lotus.

I'm doing... He's turned it inside out. Wow! I can't feel anything even. Geez, the lotus is cool. But I am entertained. I'm entertained. I'm entertained.

And they walk away and go, that was a fun experience, and we hug. That's why dessert's so important. It's the taste left in your mouth. If they walk away and go, I had a really good time. Did our climax, you guess? I think I did. I think I did. When he made the origami and then he did the windmill, I think I did.

That'll work. Did he bring out juggling balls at one stage? No, they were just his test. Anyway. I've never seen someone juggle their balls like you, bro. Thanks, man. This is my party trick. You know, sometimes when I'm bored in the studio.

Whenever I need to pick me up If you know something's falling a bit flat You know Shark guy's looking a little down Tucker goes come over here All right guys Dant Dant

Dada Chinks From little things Big things go I introduced the team to Aura She's a new competitor to chat TBT by Yeah Shagga

I didn't need to hear this chat with your AI Hey I was just showing the guys the latest Mmm Love that Already naked That's hot And so I wish I could run my fingers down your neck, your chest. What?

Tell me where you want me first. Oh my God. All right, you tell me. Hmm. Okay. Close your eyes. Imagine me there. Warm breath against your ear.

My lips brushing just underneath. Oh, yeah. Then I trail down slow. Between your legs. Teasing with the tip of my... Content dumped. Not suitable for broadcast. Well, that was a big.

It much. But if you want to hear the rest of it, check out the podcast. See you next week, Rice Cookers. Hoor! Jess and Ducko. Whiz, Snoop, Bruno. Young Wild Free. Hit breakfast, Jess and Ducko, A-58.

Jeez, that's a Friday song. Mm-hmm. Whiz, baby. So they're taking over Brisbane tonight. Yep. And then they're all the cohort. Yep. It's coming down.

They're playing Engie Stadium tomorrow. Yes, they are. And we had one double pass remaining. One left. We asked for your nudes earlier today. How far do you want these tickets? Ducco said, my Instagram handle is Ducco underscore underscore, send them my way. Do your worst.

You have to all the guys. No ladies, just once again. It never is for you. You know what? I respect that. I respect the game, you know. But they see it and they appreciate it. Oh, goodness. Me, look at that one. Excellent contributions. A wonderful show.

We have been a man down. Yep. But Babs, you've been exceptional. Yeah, she's been great. Well done, Babs. And you know what? Babs gets the honour to. oh yeah the last double

pass who's it going to babbs who's it going to to Kylie whose daughter put a naked video of her on her Snapchat yeah her daughter filmed her getting changed naked

completely nude and then put it on her snap story and it was up there for a while oh goodness gracious so Kylie thanks to your daughter we didn't actually get the daughter's age maybe mummy and daughter

can go to Frano's life sort of is the purpose of Snapchat anyway so well that's the thing and the daughter knew that yeah the door knew she was like mom's getting you in the gym you'll fit the gym you'll fit

Fantastic. I wish to get you out there. Let's get it up. Kids do just seem to know Snapchat straight away, though. Like, they can just go and they get all filters up. It is terrifying how quickly they pick up tech. Yeah, that's wild. So congratulations to Kylie, but a huge thank you to everyone who has been involved this week.

Yeah. And to everyone going tomorrow night. Good luck. Enjoy it. Have a great. Yeah, it's going to be great. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be awesome.

Send us some photos as well if we send you some tickets and you're along there. You can have clothes on them. Clothes on when you send them. And ball caps. Obviously, I'd imagine ball caps only. Oh, that's actually that you get two ball caps. Oh, yeah, we give those out. Everyone this week has gotten ball caps with their tickets.

How good's that? Do you feel silly wearing the ball cap for Wiz Khalifa? Or do you only put it on? I think you only put on for pit bull. You know how hard those things are like sweat-wise? And it ruins your hair. Like a swimming cat. Yeah, it does.

It's hot and, you know, it's swampy in there. Pick your moment. Yeah, pick your moment. Just for the ball, man. Just for pity. Just for pity. Hey, we're back next week, of course. Monday, big show.

We've got more alpha bucks. but our call of fame prize, $500 to spender reflections. That's pretty good for your next family adventure, maybe looking ahead to the next school holidays. I know we just finished one. No, I know. One set. There's got to be another one around the corner, right?

Is that one more for Christmas? No, surely not. No, no, I think now it's a run to Christmas. What's on for the weekend, my man? You've obviously got the family in town, Morgan's side. I'm hosting a charity thing at Shortland Golf Course today for run, DIPG, a charity for kids. Amazing charity.

Good on you. DIPG. A horrible disease that affects kids. So I'm hosting that today. Matt, and then got the in-laws, a bit of a lunch tomorrow, you know what I mean, taking a man. You're busy boy. This is a busy weekend.

What are you doing? So I went to office works yesterday afternoon, and I bought all these craft supplies because I've been influenced by the TikTok mums who make all the decorations for their kids' parties. So, like, flower garlands and paper hats to stick on pictures of which, anyway. So you're hosting? No, I'm going to make all the arts and crafts. Oh, you're going to do it. In anticipation for the party, but I know me.

Yeah. And I've never used a hot glue gun before. So I'm giving myself a week to work it out. Glue guns are an interesting thing. So my weekend is guillotining, pom-poms, and hot glue gun. Oh, look at you go. So we... This is going to be the biggest second birthday ever, isn't it?

Between your mum and the cake and you and the glue gun, Jess just had to send an all-staff email because she was having an aggressive fight with her mom on the phone yesterday in the kitchen. You and Babs flagged, as I was telling that story about our very... intense phone call that some people in the office thought I was getting my camera on. I don't know you like I know you. They don't understand the, uh, the ethnic passion. The intensity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we were just arguing over her making a women's weekly cake. Some of it was in English. Some of it wasn't. So I've said, we slip into Maltese sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, I just sent an all-star email apologising for this disruption. I genuinely thought I was keeping my voice down. So funny.

It would appear. No concept. We also had a question, uh, which cake did she end up agreeing to me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone said, is she going with the train or the pool? Yeah. She wanted to do the clock or the caterpillar. She landed on the butterfly.

Oh, the butterfly is still good? Because the clock, she's phoning it in. Oh, thank you. Don't phone it in. So her issue was, I don't want to do a 3D one. I want to flat lay. I want you lazy bucket. How dare you?

Do you even love this kid? I don't even. She better be getting a good gift if you're going to half-asset with a butterfly. Ever since you set the fire alarm off with your sexcapade in France, you've changed. I don't even know my mother. I bet you she rocks up to your daughter's birthday with a beret on. God damn it. Take it off.

When she greets, you would be, oh, bullshit. And she'll do the triple kids. Oh, sorry, I forgot. I've done Encessary.com. I've got one 0.0.1% French in me. All right. And the high school French will come out. Oh, we'll.

But this butterfly cake, it better be good. Better be slapping. It better be good. Anyway, find out how that goes over the weekend. We're out of here. We will be back Monday. We'll see you then. Bye.

Bye. Jessica, don't be like your father and interrupt me. Just let me get this out. That's it for Jess and Ducko. If you miss the show, get the podcast on the listener app and follow them on socials at Jess and Ducko. This is Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast.

The new McCrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today.