Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Ghostbusters, The Matrix and Men in Black...

Episode Date: May 16, 2025

Jess is blown away by an app, we ask when did you wanna punch yourself in the face and Producer Shy Guy wraps up the week that was in his diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's new Tennessee barbecue range now touring for a limited time. Jess and Ducco. This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Welcome to the pod everyone. Someone complimented you Ducco on Instagram, but I want just to make sure you didn't miss it. Okay. They're only human. They are.

Ducco, a smile no other can match. Oh, was it a guy? It's gotta be a guy. No, it's a lady. Oh, there you go. I don't know how she identifies. So true. It's a be a guy. No, it's a lady. Oh, there you go. I don't know how she identifies. It's so true. It's a person on our Instagram.

Okay. A picture of you with the baby strapped to your chest, with the dog by your side. I don't like my smile. I like, you know, yeah, I don't like it. Like I have to, I can't do closed lip smile. I can do open mouth smile. So this is me closed lip smile.

Which looks creepy. It looks like I'm just like, I don't know if I'd say creepy, but I I'm just fine. Creepy is not the right adjective. I look cheeky. Do you know what it is? When you, and now I don't know if you can do it, when you close lips smile you have a straight line. Your eyes are joyful but your mouth isn't turned up. Whereas when I open. You can go up a bit, the lip curl up. Yeah the lip curls up. I can't believe you don't like your smile. I know, I just, I just wanna look back in photos sometimes and I'm like, oh, this is about too much. Amanda thinks no other can match.

Does anyone like their own smile though, I guess? Do you know what's funny? I know people make fun of mine because I do the tongue thing, but I actually- You do tongue on the teeth. I like the tongue thing that you do. I've never noticed it. Oh, I haven't noticed it.

I don't know why I started that. It's more like- Oh, get. Get stuffed, you cheeky bugger. Everyone needs to go around and smile now. How do you do smile in photos? You do a close-lip. See, your lips do go up a bit.

One's bigger than the other, which is really funny. Show me, show me. Oh yeah, your left one's bigger. What we know on ourselves that no- I've never noticed that. Can I say the- Wow, one is bigger than the other. Is that a self-conscious? And you know I like everything symmetrical and stuff.

It really annoys me. You know I like everything symmetrical. I didn't know that. I do, I do. Like, clean and neat. You know I like everything to be the same. I do. Left and right identical.

Babs, how do you feel about your smile? It's alright. You have a lovely smile. Smile. In that selfie you sent us. Do you do, no, how would you smile if I took a photo of you? Like, where'd you take... There you go, do you want to see one?

She can't do it live. Oh yeah, you can use, you're one of the rare smiles that can use teeth I can't use teeth yeah I use teeth like you did. I've got a lot of teeth. It's a toothy green isn't it? yeah you smile like a South Park character and I mean that in the best way look okay this is mine with teeth. True. Well not. Oh but is that? I go. No but see this isn't natural no one's taking a photo you're the one you've got here. The teeth? Oh, it's the teeth. Yeah. Okay. All right. Maybe I'm still not so sure.

And the issue is I don't think you're not smiling with your eyes because it's not authentic what you're doing right now. Whereas the issue clearly look happy. Yeah. Yeah. And the eyes, you know, they tell a big story. Yeah, that's so true. You know, smizing as type. Like look at Shy Guy in that one. Teeth there. He's got some teeth out there. But look at the smile that's reached the eyes.

Anyway, I just wanted to, Amanda has not complimented Shy Guy mine or Babs' smile. No, thank you, Amanda. I appreciate that. I appreciate you. You're a compliment. It's nice to hear compliments from strangers, don't you think? Yeah, yeah, it is. So anyway. It's funny what we all notice on ourselves though. Oh, my biggest, oh, this'll be fun. Babs, you can remove yourself if you don't wish to partake.

I know you're not in a mood. I know you're not in this mood. What do you hate about yourself? If you could change a physical feature, what's the thing that irks you the most? Is it your uneven dimples? Yeah. Is it? Yeah.

Mine's my hairline and no one notices it except me, but it is so messy and I've got baby hairs and every time I complain, people go, what are you talking about? No, I don't know, but it is so messy. And I've got baby hairs. And every time I complain, people go, what are you talking about? But it's all I see. I've been thinking my hairline's sort of recede more. But I don't know if you've even noticed it. Haven't noticed.

I don't know if it actually is or if I'm not looking at photos of myself from a decade ago being like, is it really? Yes. Or is it just me thinking that? It's absolutely with our own harshest critic. What I would change though, is when I get excited and smile and laugh, I get the fucking forehead

veins. They just pop out. You did pick that up on a video yesterday. People always pick it up though. People are always like, jeez, look at those veins. Yeah, it happens to me on TV. It happens here. Isn't that funny?

Because you know, like, I don't know, bodybuilders necessarily, but I thought boys were very proud of their veiny arms when they're really bulked up. Yeah, arms. Yeah, yeah. Forehead. Yeah, so vein arms, vein forehead. Look at the vein on my arms, fit. Veins in my forehead. Yeah. Yeah, psychotic.

Is that why your mum always goes to get Botox? Yeah, she reckons, yeah, I'm frowning too much. She thinks my resting face is frowning with my eyes. Does Botox get rid of that? I think, well, Botox smooths everything out, so I assume it would but I'm not a hundred percent sure Yeah, that's a question for a cosmetic nurse a hairline veins shy guy dimples dimples babs if you want to like a body part Oh, yeah, don't go personally. That's a big dream. Yeah, I would go my calves. I think oh you said that before actually Yeah, they're just naturally too big. You've got you've got cyclist calves naturally

It's really annoying because I buy like boots and they never oh you try and go up like a high boot Can you roll up your jeans show me some calf? No my legs are really hairy. Sorry. I'm not gonna notice from here Okay, I can okay. Why that put a list. Do you see body hair on ladies? Uh armpit hair fuck yeah armpit hair but like from a distance No, they're actually really bad. I'll be able to tell you if I can see Babs's. See, they're quite large. Quite thick. I can't see hair though.

Hair, you're fine. I can see the calf. They're quite pale too. But that's natural. You don't do calf raises all the time and try and bulk them. No, they've just like always been like big. Muscular. No, it's not even muscular.

They're just, I don't know. They've just always just been thick. Yeah, yeah. So we'll just have that natural. What I do. Good though from the calf, like it's hard to hide my, my whack hairline. What was yours again? Sorry.

Hey, full headband. You can't hide that. Dibbles, you can't hide that. You wear a jean and you're sorted. Then it gets to summer and I'm like, oh. The summer months. I'm like, actually, you don't wear a short often. I've seen you a skirt perhaps.

Yeah. I mean, I wear jorts in summer, but not to work. Pardon me. What's a jort? A jean short. Jean short. Can you please start wearing that to work well I would with a rusty shirt yeah 100% but like we do every other day do you remember denim shorts were not allowed no man no like a three-quarter length yeah down the thigh so bullyable but like it feels like really casual to wear to work oh it's here though I wear

linen shorts and a t-shirt. I'm guys trying to get track pants allowed for work? So you're fine with your jorts, mate? No, I think they're allowed. I just have a personal rule. No trackies at work. Oh, no trackies at work. We wear trackies to the shops? No, only inside the house. I don't even like going to take the bins out in them.

Oh, really? Will you get changed? I'll wear them for the shops. Yeah, I'll wear them to the shops too. Whatever. You know what I do find? You're going to wear undies though, because otherwise that thing, you can see your pain. I was going to to the shops too. Whatever. You know what I do find? You gotta wear undies though, because otherwise that thing, you can see your pain.

I was gonna say you'll find... It's only in grey. Yeah. And then your dribble marks after the toilet? Nah, a little worse. I don't dribble. Really? Do you pat, pat, pat with a bit of square top?

Until you get to 30. Lose control. Well, that's in a month. Do you know what I find with track pants? Oh, you're turning 30 this year? Yeah. What the shit? I didn't know that.

June? I thought you were 29. You're 13. Are you having a 30th? 28. You're getting to a 30th? No. As if we'd be invited, Ducko. Don't even act like we're invited. Everyone's asking me. I don't want to do this. You should. I didn't get to your mom's in COVID. Ducko, Ducko, let's throw him a party. Yeah, we should. It's not a surprise party. Things, who would we invite? We don't know any of his friends. I've met his mom. You have? You got a pipeline? His mom and his dad. There's a sister somewhere. We can track her down.

She's in Berk. Good luck. Good luck. That's alright, we can get her. We can invite her. Babs will be there. Jethro will come I guess. Actually will you? Yeah. Go. Babs is making a speech. Oh yeah. That's fun. Babs is like the guest of honour. How about on air for Shy Guys 30th? We all give a very short version of a speech. I love that. Yeah, yeah. Like a eulogy. Like a funeral. We're his three best friends. Like it's his party and we're giving a speech. That's great. That's great. Or we do it. Did you do speeches at like your 21st or anything like that? Same. Yeah. Made my suit. Get your mates. They're always so tragic. Oh no. Sex stories or drinking stories and you're like, oh man.

In front of like parents and grandparents who were there. Then we used to drink out of it like a big yard glass full of alcohol. You just hope they get that out the way before the same guy does the speech at your wedding. So it's like, it's not a 21st. Let's rein it in. Let's pull it back. Oh, we've got to do something. We can do a 30th. Even a nice dinner.

Are we going to have dinner at your house finally? What do we got at your house? You can come over. That's fine with me. And we'll all bring the pistachios. The thing is, you've got mates. Like this weekend you're going away with 10 friends, but you act like you've got no friends. Yeah, but he compartmentalizes.

He does not want crossover in his groups. I don't like crossover in groups. I know I knew that about you. I have so many circles. And what's this circle? School friends? I have three circles. Yeah okay alright. Three circles. Is this a school friend circle? School friend, yeah I've known them for yeah. So what are we? We're radio work friends? Yeah. Okay. I don't even have we graduated to friend? Nah, I don't know. What's the third circle? Oh you asked? You know if we didn't work together? I bet I'm Jess work in your phone. Jess hit.

Oh, that is so much better. Isn't that so rude? What am I? I'm just ducker. You're just ducker. I'm not gonna have a double up with you. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

God forbid you ever meet another ducker. Yeah, imagine that. Is Babs Babs or is Babs Billy in your phone? Billy, but I always ask Siri in the car. Yeah, I've changed her to Babs. And it's like, no. I think I need to change her to Babs and you to Shy Guy because I was doing that too much.

But then I changed you to Shy Guy, I started typing in Luke and I'm like, yeah, I know, so you can't win. I had you as Nick Allen Duckett for so long because I'm quite pedantic about first name, last name, but again, I never once found Nick. You can give someone a secondary name in your contacts. I wonder if that will fix that.

I think actually you can even put company and if you typed in it would come in. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. So do you talk about us to your other friends? They talk to me about, cause a lot of them listen.

Huh. So they're like, Oh, that was funny or that wasn't. Do they want our secrets? Do they want our secrets? What are they like in real life? Oh, I just say you're normal. Oh great. I actually have people ask me. Oh great. I actually have

people ask me that question too. I thought you might. Yeah. Really? Cause everyone thinks, well, not everyone, but there's a big misconception. It's scripted, it's acting, it's not real real. So I imagine it would be like, what are they actually like? When the mics turn off. Yeah, they're like, are they the same? And I'm like, yep. Yeah, it's how it goes. You really sell us babs. Yeah, I was gonna say, let's hope they get Babs on a good day. They're just normal, I don't know, they're just people. What would you want us to say? Are they more saying, are they deavery? Is that what they're getting at? I think that's where they get at sometimes.

Possibly, but also because you guys are so high energy, I think that they think that it's kind of like you get off the mic and it's like... And collapse. And you're totally different, but I'm like, no. They're pretty much the same. They're pretty much the same until they leave until, you know, 9.30. Oh, you took... Let's not smear that one in there.

I didn't mean to. I'm like, I don't know. You're right. That's fair. We are mysterious. Thank you. They're the same. Yeah.

Have you ever had anyone come to you in public and say a bad thing? And you had to be like, oh, okay, sure. That's not what I think. About the show? Show or an individual? Yeah. Yeah. Not really. That's nice. Oh, okay, sure. That's not what I think. About the show or about you guys? Show or an individual. Yeah, yeah. Not really. That's nice.

Oh, that's good. That's good. Okay. I suppose I'm an authentic ducker, you know? Yeah, yeah. I've heard people say that they don't listen to like, radio. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, oh well. What do you want me to do about it? I still get paid. Yeah, yeah. I like when people say that to my face. What do you do? Yes. I do breakfast radio.

Oh, I don't listen to radio. Or I listen to Triple J. Have you heard of this podcast though? Cool man. Yeah, yeah, I know that to my face. What do you do? Yes breakfast radio? I don't listen to radio or Yeah, why don't listen right but then they know things about the show Okay, like I don't want you to hide it from me like yeah. Yeah, it's very funny Hey, yeah, well people asked me about you guys because I say yeah Yeah, I was at a wedding a couple weeks ago and a guy thought I worked at kiss Really complete other like he sees the videos. He knows you're at Kiss. He's like, oh how's Kiss going? And then he thought we were Kiss? Probably. Well they're here so you're just the station, the format, us with that brand. Right, but he's such a rusted on name. Well that's part of

the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just don't keep up with where I'm at. Yeah right. He worked there. Yeah. Oh I got made to still think I'm at Nova. Gotcha. He worked there. Yeah. Eight years ago. I got mates who still think I'm at Nova. I haven't worked there since 2018. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like they just remember that and that's just where you work forever. Yeah.

Fair. I mean, I still got mates that I'm like, you're at KPMG, yeah? And they're like, what? I haven't been there in so long. I'm like, I don't really know what you do. I insulted my best friend, Mel, her partner, he's a graphic designer.

And the last time we caught up, I said something about how his office works, cause he works in, you know, head office of Officeworks for their advertising department. And he literally looked at me, she looked at me, went, I've not worked there for six years. I went, it's dig up stupid. And I just was like, nah, nah, we talked about it recently.

He's like, no, six years. Eww. See, radio is easy, people know you do it. They see it on socials as present. It's a simple job to understand what we do. He's not putting that on his Instagram, like what he's doing now or projects or not being at Officeworks.

Yeah. Sorry. Surely lots of people wouldn't understand what you do, Babs. Producer, both of you, I guess. Yeah, not really. No one knows what, because producers are so broad. They ask me what I do and then I tell them and then they're like, oh.

That doesn't sound so hard. Yes, oh, that doesn't sound so hard. Yes, they say that doesn't sound very hard. And I'm like, well, actually, do people actually say that to you? Like your mates? Yeah, they're just like, oh, I get that. They're like engineers and stuff. And I'm like, yeah, well, you sit down and do what I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see how you feel.

So with the radio show, you talk, shoot for a living, and leave after three hours. I'm like, there is the fact that you think it's a skill. I know it's a different skill set from your engineers and doctors. It's just different. It's just different. I have to mini-shit. We're saving lives in our own way.

Who was that? That's what I said. I was like, people are happy when they drive to work. Thank you, Babs. To help them that they hate. Absolutely. Would you find that, because you're 24 now, we learnt that this week. Yeah.

Would you? Thanks to my birthday. Would you find that your friends at your age are listening to radio much still, not starting to more? I have a few that do and then others that didn't but now do because they're like more aware of what's going on. Because you're in it. Well, not even just because I'm in it because I'm like, you know, and then they've seen it and they're like, actually, like, that's quite funny. Yeah, because people realise, oh, it's actually just like a podcast in its original format Yeah, yeah, yeah

Peppered with dual labor. Yeah. Yeah, you know someone said to me they said they got a new car This is over the holidays or someone and they were like, it's really sad. I was like, why is it sad? She's like, I've got a new car. I can't listen to the radio anymore because I've got car play can't listen to the radio anymore because I've got CarPlay. I can listen to Spotify now. Oh, she knows she can switch it back. And I'm like, you can still go to FM or you can use apps or whatever. You don't have to because you have a new car doesn't mean it doesn't have radio. The default is to go to CarPlay when you're getting your car.

When you plug it in, it starts. It does, yeah. It is funny though. I want to flag it with someone, but I don't know who it would be. Sometimes I want to listen to the radio, but I need my maps. But if I switch to go to CarPlay Maps, it goes, all right, well, I'm silent now because you haven't put Spotify or a podcast.

And I was like, no, I want the old school radio, but I need the CarPlay maps. What you gotta do is, that happens to me all the time as well. So you go into maps and you click it. And then I think you need to then go into FM whatever and then click the radio and then go like so. So it's so my map screen is up and now I've got a.

Because it'll take you back to oh you're in carplay and then you put your map screen up then you've got to go into radio again and the radio start playing with the maps on. Okay because mine and you know me I'm not tech savvy but it's almost like it goes alright well I'm going to the radio screen and the whole display change. I'm like no no I need the freaking map. Yeah, it's annoying. I know what you're saying. It does it to me as well. You're like to fiddle around with it a little bit. Yes, yes. But that's great work. Just one person at a time. You can go back to radio.

Re-educate. Re-educate. If you're listening to the podcast now, stay here. And I don't think car salesmen are going, the radio is great in this car. You know what I mean? Like they're saying. Totally. That's true. So people would be oblivious to like it's like right now I'm so sick of all my music like I don't have any music I'm a bit over and I'll even got my car yesterday I was like I don't want any of this like I just want it to be

play or whatever yeah yeah it's like going to a gym class and they just do the class for you and amen yeah but you can also get our podcast on demand wherever you get your podcast or listen live to us. You're probably doing that right now actually yes. Yes. Enjoy. Yes Friday team amen I'm feeling rowdy. I'm feeling ready good job shy guy you feeling ready show Oh sure why not no come on are you feeling ready? Yep. You're like when we ask people for L-bucks, are you ready to win on 10 grand? Do you have an opinion on it or not? I hope so.

Then say no, you're not feeling rowdy. I'm not feeling rowdy. What would we prefer? Just an honesty. Man or no, cause both are honesty. I tried to be honest. You said sure, yup. Let's try again.

Babs, you feeling rowdy? Meh. Okay, she's a bit average today. Okay. Why is that acceptable? Why do you think that is, ducko? That's fair, that's true. Babs, are you feeling rowdy? Meh. Okay, she's a bit average today. Okay. Why is that acceptable? Why do you think that is, ducko? That's fair, that's true. Babs, are you feeling rowdy today?

Yeah, sure, I'm feeling super rowdy. What, you just did the same thing, Shaggy! I did! You two the same person! Maybe, maybe if you joined in our collective team outfit. I told you, I washed the jumper, it's soaking wet. It does take a long time to dry this jumper. Any big hoodie now because you can't put them in the dryer.

Absolutely. And with all this weather. Shrink city. Oh my god. But my issue is, ducko, I was fully dressed, left the house and then went oh whoa. Oh you forgot it. I turned back around. That's good.

Went back into my house, had to wake my husband up because the jumpers live in the bedroom where we sleep. Yeah. Pulled it out of the drawer. I thought that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the collective energy of this room. I laid my- Walk in, shy guy. Oh yeah? Exactly how we asked-

And Babs wasn't even- Answer your question. It's Friday, if there's any day to be the opposite of- Yeah, I thought you'd be a bit peppy today. Same! Have a bad night's sleep. No. That was the last time you got some.

Yeah, yeah! Too long ago. Too long ago. That's what it is. Don't you think? That's what we can pinpoint it down to. That's the last time you got some. Yeah. Yeah. Too long ago. Too long ago. That's what it is. Don't you think? That's what we can pinpoint it down to. That's what I'm smelling.

Yeah. That's what I'm smelling. Or not smelling. Or not smelling. Lack thereof. Lack thereof. Okay. Actually, it's a build up of pheromones.

What are you going to do? 13, 10, 60. Do you want to show us? I thought you were going to say 30. That was the last time you got some. No, no. Hey, that would be fun. Careful. you're going to crash the phone lights. Yeah, yeah.

You're going to crash the phone lights. These would come for your show, guys. Absolutely. Yeah. Sure. He's very particular, though. He is. Yeah.

So, don't just take anyone. Yeah. Anyway. While I'm in my blue hoodie, I laid it out last night. You got blue balls? You got your blue hoodie? Yeah, I got my blue hoodie. Is that false?

Yeah. And you look fantastic. You've been getting a lot lately, Pabsbs and she normally has been in a great mood, but not right now. No. I'm in a good mood. Okay. All right. We're on. Okay.

Okay. We'll take good. Nah, it's good to see the team on this Friday. Absolutely. Great show to come. Shy Guy's hating everything. He's getting the same energy. Yeah, she is.

She's covered by that plexiglass. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, ah, I wish the days when I was out there. Oh, aye. Whoa. Whoa. I like it in here Sometimes I'm like, ah, I wish the days when I was out there. Oh, aye, whoa, whoa. I like it in here, but there was another time, you know.

I find it really weird when you're too slow making a toast, you don't make it back on air. It feels like something is missing. It's very- That hasn't happened. It happens all the time. Rarely. No, it happens all the time.

Or you'll sit out there with Babs because you haven't made it back. I can see it because I'll be reading the McDonald's lineup. And you guys will come and just, you'll just amble out there and sit out there. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I'm like, they don't need me here. Doesn't that give the energy of, eh, this is fine. Let this one go to God. I'll come in when it suits me. Pardon us, shy guy. No.

I'm like, okay, there's a hook break. That's going to be a small thing. I don't need to be involved. Oh, come on. We're always, Mike's are always on, you know what I mean? And you know what never dies? The energy and vibe. And we all play key roles in that. Yeah. If you think you're just a cog in the machine, this goes out to the rice cookers, then you need to reevaluate.

You know what I mean? I want you to be around people who appreciate your energy and you don't feel like, why can't you sit in the kitchen and be like, oh, I'm going to the rice cookers, then you need to re-evaluate. You know what I mean? Yeah. I want you to be around people who appreciate your energy and you don't feel like, why can't you sit outside eating mid-toast? Amen. I love Indian food. Yes. Hey, you need to calm down on the curries or your mum's going to come for you. My mum thinks I have too many curries.

It's what's keeping our child gassy. Your 12-month ban on Indian food starts now. What? And Thai. I know you like a Thai green. I told mum. A curry for the country. I love it. I don And Thai. I know you like a Thai green. I told mum. A curry for the country. I love it.

I don't know why I still have those there, but they're there. They will never, ever be not relevant. But are we all feeling okay today though? I mean, there's a few tired eyes. More than okay. First week back, it's always the excitement's Monday, you know, Tuesday wears off a bit and then everyone's a bit tired. The hairdresser yesterday said to me, oh, are you back at work?

And I went, rude, yes. Yeah, obviously. We did have replays for three weeks, the best of. Yeah, yeah. But no, this has all been fresh. This is live, baby. But it feels like we just slipped into a warm bath. Yeah.

It feels like we've hit the straps running this week. Back into the swing of things. Been a good show this week, Shy Guy. It has been a good week of shows. Yeah, there it is. The diary was very hard to put together because there was so much to play with. Oh, have you ever thought about doing a two-parter? Yes, but then I'll both shut that down.

Okay. Oh, two-parter would be good because it would take up two spots. That's right. Absolutely. And it's still content. Yeah, but the making of it is the process. Ah, I see, I see, I see. I grapple so much with that, Darko.

Like we put out gold for, you know, four minute blocks and you go, that'll never, unless you listen to I see, I see. I grapple so much with that, Ducco. We put out gold for four minute blocks and you go, that'll never, unless you listen to the podcast, of course, or we have a three week paternity leave break and it gets replayed. It'll never be heard again. Churn and burn of the content of the show. We're the Churn and Burn show, baby. We're the pump and dump show.

We're the surprise and delight. Oh yes. We've got a big show for you today, nonetheless. Tell me. Alpha Box, we know it's gone off this week already on Monday. That's right. Have we heard from Jen yet? Yeah, asked her for a video We want to see her face and her laundry that she wanted to renovate Babs isn't listening great You are tired today. You good. You have soccer last night. No, I've got mad hay fever

I've just sneezed like ten times you do your eyes. Have you had an antihistamine? I have one this morning. Oh, I could have brought you one. What were you looking at, Baz? Just the newsroom? My computer's wigging out. It's got some big things and things. So now that we've got your attention, have we heard from Jen?

Now that the mad hey fever's stopped. No, we haven't heard from Jen. Jen. Sorry. Come on. Oh, we need Jen. Anyway, we have our Fox 630 and 8. Shy Guys Diary, as we mentioned,

Forgotten Friday Bang is still time to vote. Absolutely, I've Jen. Anyway, we have our fucks, 6.30 at 8. Uh, Shagas Dari, as we mentioned, Forgotten Friday Banger's still time to vote. Absolutely. I've heard. Very close. It was close last I looked last night. Okay, JessandDucko on Instagram, have your say what we play in the show. Australian edition too. That's right, because we've been talking about Vegemite on this program for so long, we may as well do some Aussie bangers. Why not? Up next, so it's Back Baby, No Dumb Thought Friday.

Oh. Yes. I don't know if men get accused of baby brain as much as women do but it's a great setting for some dumb thoughts. I thought about this one when I was looking at my child. Perfect. Yeah it's gonna be good. If you've got one 13 10 60 for the best No Dumb Thought we have a $100 LSKD voucher. Oh I love that. Ducko and and I repping LSKD today. Obviously. Exercise. You can get yourself a gorgeous little jumper, some active wear, whatever it might take. Yes and Ducco. Yes and Ducco. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 131060. If you know how to save place with which to dissect those dumb little nuggets bouncing around in your noggin. Yep.

Where that safe place. We are. Ducko, you've been up against it the past month and a bit. Yeah, this week in particular has been a tough week the most. Oh yeah, I mean the introduction of an infant into your house is going to turn things on its head. You can get back to work and you're like, ugh. Adding in sleep deprivation.

Yeah. I can imagine there's been some interesting thoughts happening. Interesting thoughts. I had this one yesterday. I was looking down at my child's little fingers. God, they're funny. Little, how funny are little fingers and little toes? It's like when you say a word over and over, it starts to get in your mind.

And the same when you stare at something long enough, you go, what is that? What is that? What's going on there? She's got really long feet and then long fingers, like abnormally long for her body. It's kind of funny. People ask me about you on the street. I get stopped. How's Duncan? Oh yeah. How's Morgan? How's the baby?

Gee, she's huge. Is that what they say? That's what so many people say to me. In the photo, she just has the chubbiest little chin. Yeah, she's chunky. Yes. But like her weight's not that big, but she's just chunky. Yeah.

It's hilarious. She takes after her mum. Yeah. But like her weight's on that big but she's just chunky. Yeah. It's hilarious. She takes after her mom. Anyway. So what I was thinking about is, do you think on your hand that your thumb gets jealous of your fingers or your fingers get jealous of your thumb? The thumb is outnumbered. The thumb is outnumbered however. He's got no friends. The thumb is the most unique of them all. Like the index finger is unique, the root finger has its own little thing. I mean, I could take or leave the wedding ring finger. The pinky's got its own little name. How will people know you're taking?

Yep. You know what I mean? But do you think the four fingers are jealous that this guy stands out? Or is he the black sheep? Is the thumb the black sheep? Or has he asserted himself like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Is that sheep or has he asserted himself like the teenage mutant ninja turtles is that yeah who's their guy their leader guy donatello no no no no no no the four turtles are together and then don't they have like a rat sense of it splinter

splinter yeah yeah is the thumb the splinter of the hand so part of the crew but kind of a part of the crew. I see what you're saying. But does that make him... I was gonna make a Kung Fu Panda reference but I thought I'm gonna do Teenage Minjuni Turtles for my bro Ducco. So does that make him their leader? Does it make him their superior? As in like, he's like their manager so they can't hang out with him. So the four fingers are going to get drunk on a night and thumbs not included. He's our example.

Jess, Ducko, Shy Guy, Babs. Boss Jase, you'd say he's a part of the team but not really. Huge example. Do you know what I mean? Like he's not. He's the thumb. He's hanging off down here lurking. Part of the crew.

Yeah but also he has to take ownership sometimes. You know? Yes, take the fall. Yeah that's not bad. That's not bad. things but also he has to he has to take ownership sometimes you know yes take the fall yeah that's not bad that's not bad take us in what are you what where did you land on it when you were ruminating well I was trying to think what my favorite finger would be yes and I was well this is the thing is the thumb a finger that's true when you say fingers and then thumb has its own name exactly but you the thumb is so vital for grip strength so I do enjoy the

thumb yeah let's get dumber yeah do we have five fingers or do we have four thumb has its own name. Exactly. But the thumb is so vital for grip strength. So I do enjoy the thumb. Let's get dumber. Do we have five fingers or do we have four fingers and a thumb? Well, jeez, we're going deep now. Shall I go? What do you reckon? Because I'd say we have five toes. I wouldn't say we have four toes and a big toe. We just have five toes. But why is that called something else? It's yeah, it is. Yeah, you're right because all the toes the hmm So Are you trying to logic it up? Here we go He's Google it. Okay, all five digits on your hand are classified as fingers. Oh

The thumb is a digit. Oh, it's a digit the first one number one It's the first it goes number one. Yeah, number two index number three middle number four ring and then number five pinky Yeah, that's how the Germans count. Yes. So thumb is just the Headline like index pinky. Yeah. Yeah thumb is just a headline. But some reason was like Google put it, the thumb is the VIP of the hand. One more time, thumb is the VIP. Google put it as that. So maybe then they don't get jealous of the thumb. Cause they're all the same, the fingers don't even know.

Make sure your fingers aren't listening. In fact, the thumb's a short king of the finger hand. Well no, is he the short king? Isn't he the pinky? Or is he just stepped down? Do you know what I mean? He's not even run. Now this is the question, if I chopped off your thumb

Yeah, is it the same length as maybe the pinky and he's just on a different rung Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm saying looking similar to me my thumb and pinky You're right. Actually, I reckon he's just on a lower rung similar of the ladder. They are similar like the staircase Yeah, clearly, you know, the middle finger is the tallest lady. Yeah. That's interesting. It is.

Wow. I'm really glad we had this out. So am I. There was a lot to unpack there. There's so much to unpack. I was gonna talk about bread, but I reckon we leave it there. Jess and Ducco.

Right now, they are back. After lying dormant for nearly two decades. Billions of sex-crazed cicadas are emerging from their sleep pods hungry for love. Now is that? That's a weird cicada sound. That's not like the ones I heard. These are American based cicadas. Like the accent that's throwing me. Yeah. We need to just ask Shia I can get cicada sounds. Have you ever heard of cicada? That's not like the ones I heard. These are American based cicadas, okay? So-

It's the accent that's throwing me. Yeah, these, yeah. We need to just ask Shia I'm gonna get cicada sounds. Have you ever heard of cicada? A collective. Yeah, in the wild when they're all there too. Oh, so that's an individual cicada. Do you know what?

You've narrowed it down. I think I pronounce it cicada. Is it cicada? In Australia, I swear we say cicada. Oh, I must say like American. Cicada. Maybe it's American. Cicada, that feels American. I didn't say like American maybe maybe it's American. It's a kid and that feels American

I didn't realize how big those mothos are. Yeah, and they pay on you. Oh my Cicadas pee on you as a defense mechanism That's why if you're ever walking if you're ever walking in the forest at some time Yeah, exactly. And you feel a drip on you feel a drip on you and you can hear the cicadas chances are they've just let one go Wow, they're threatened. Yeah, so listen to this. I didn't know they had these types of cicadas. These are a specific type, red-eyed insects, the second largest of the cicadas. And this is just in the States, I will preface that, so no sex cicadas getting us. However, this year there's many extra horny cicadas, thanks to a spread of the creepy zombie fungus, which is like the

same fungus they use in the TV show, The Last of Us, the zombie apocalypse show. This is a genuine fungus. It's a genuine fungi that has infected some of the cicadas while they're sleeping. Cause what these, okay. So what these cicadas do is they hunker down underground for 17 years and they're nymphs. They feed on tree sap before surfacing just super horny. Like the sap is like there. 17 years they live underground. They hunker down and they have this cycle.

So I don't think insects live that long in general. Essentially they're not kind of living, they're feeding and getting horny. So they're just a teenager. Just gathering power. Exactly right. So they hunker down before surfacing when the ground temp hits the required, which is 64 degrees Fahrenheit over there, 17 degrees like equivalent here. Oh so up chilly. Yep they get in there and then the bugs goals to find a mate procreate in the four to six weeks they have above ground before they die off. Oh so 17 years

underground, four to six weeks above, I better make the most of it. It is a complete rooting spree, it is a bonking spree. The female then deposits the eggs so her offspring can repeat the cycle when they emerge in 2042 So now go underground they'll grow and feed off sap get horny and they come up six weeks their only lifespan It's like shy guy the only thing all I need to do is sleep with people for their for the continuation of the species What pressure to put on? Do they know that pressure? Well, they must have a biological urge because other, like, you know, animals don't have that sort of conscious thought.

It just must be an urge. We've gotta go now. I've gotta procreate. Imagine if you'd been next to Larry and Jim the entire time, you guys are best mates under that, sucking off the sap. The minute you get up there, Larry and Jim are just so horny, they're gone.

You never see them again. Or do Larry and Jim turn to each other, but then they go, hang on, this isn't gonna procreate. The species, we must go find others. others well funny you said that right because the mating this year is gonna be especially intense due to this genital destroying fungi called massopora this is real it ran never if Seymour Dave Attenborough come out of this is this is this story got me so excited it ramps up their sex drives and turns them into sex zombies it affects 30 years yeah it affects the 13 year and the 17 year cicadas.

How's this? The spores replace the insect's genitalia with a plug of fungus. So then it hijacks the host system. It urges the zombified cicadas to flick its wings like it would to a female, like a female would. The healthy male then sees this thing, goes, oh, I'm gonna mate with you.

And then they get jabbed with the fungus, they get infected, they do the same thing. So the zombie cicadas are luring the healthy ones, but they've got fungus, they've got fungus pain instead of actual pain or fungus. So then when they come together, you're now zombie. You're mine. So it's the females that do the mating dance. So they call them over.

So my babs calling over shy guy, right. And she's, but she's actually got fungi. And then she comes up and says, Oh, here we go. And she might not be babs, she might be you. It could be any, any sex of cicada. I've got audio of the cicada having sex. So this is normal cicada. Now we've got the cicada having sex sound effect too.

Do you want to hear it? I do. Okay, here we go. Much more jolted. Yeah, you can feel there's a bit of a rhythm in that. So that- This is so strange. Do we know if that was a zombie infected one?

Don't know. I don't think so. Okay. But apparently people in the States- I'd love to hear a quick list, should I, guy? Zombie infected cicadas having sex. Yeah, yeah. I need more cicada porn on my history.

Hey, it's not porn, mate. It's all- It's research. It's research. It's research. Apparently people in the States have been calling the police because they're so loud. And because they're zombified this year, they're loud even more. This is probably information you don't have, but what happens if one of those cicadas wheeze on me in defense or does land on my skin?

It's said they're harmless to humans. Okay. We can't get infected. I don't think we get the fungi, but it's the same fungi. This is going to be Trump's next big issue. Zombie cicadas. Zombie cicadas. Zombie cicadas. Potentially, you know, They're getting tariffs. Aren't they? They're definitely getting tariffs.

It's the same fungi that the TV show The Last of Us uses. Fungi, man. As much as we like to eat it. I can't look at a mushroom the same. No, you can't. They've been up against it. Mushrooms lately, haven't they? They cannot catch a break in the media. That's what you've taken out of this mushrooms have been up. The Porsche Cudders are sleeping for 17 years they wake up and you're worried about the PR of mushrooms. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer, can't use the same answer twice,

and if you're unsure of the question, say pass, we come back to you. If there's time, we're playing for 10k. Our player today is Amanda. Hello, Amanda. Hi, how are you? Couldn't be better, Amanda. We have the opportunity to give you $10,000 ahead of the weekend. How are you going to spend it? That would be pretty good. Yeah.

Maybe a holiday or something or just even a weekend away with my husband. We've got two young children so even just a month away. We haven't done that in a couple of years but it would be nice to get away. Calm them off to someone and go away together. Absolutely. A romantic getaway. Well Amanda, I mean don't freak out when you hear the letter, but you're going to work with the letter V today. V for victorious. There you go.

No worries. V for very romantic holiday. Very romantic holiday. Sons, children. Amanda, are you ready to rock? I am, yes. Okay, your time will start after the first question. I am, yes. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter V, we need you to name, an occupation. Vets. An international city. Venice.

An instrument. Violin. A condiment. Pass. A type of vehicle. Volvo. A movie. Vietnam. A type of diet. Vegan.

An Aussie singer. A...tuff. A star sign. Virgo. A girl's name. Violet. A condiment. Vegemite.

On the buzzer? Came back around, yeah, on the buzzer. I'll give that. Came back around for eight. I did have two question marks. It could be nine for movie. You said Vietnam. I only know Good Morning Vietnam.

I don't know Good Morning Vietnam. I don't know Good Morning Vietnam. I don't know Good Morning Vietnam. I don't know Good Morning Vietnam. I don't know Good Morning Vietnam. I don't know came back around for eight I did have two question marks. I could be nine for movie You said Vietnam. I know good. I don't know the movie Vietnam. So we will check that So I didn't give I didn't give it. Yeah, so you have a if you get that have nine also an international city Venice is Venice a city or is it? Okay. Yeah, it is. I wasn't it's Rome. That's town. Yeah a city or is it okay yeah it is i wasn't it's rome that's town yeah yeah it's like regions in italy yeah no venice okay if anyone would know it would be you amen brother i mean i don't care

for venice yeah yeah very smelly and wet uh and all you're seeing it could have been vance joy you're very apart from that and we'll check the movie as well if it wasn't it could have been valentine's day venom v for vendetta shaga is there a movie uh no there's a tv series okay Shaga is there a movie? No there's a TV series. Good guess. You got yourself 8 out of 10. You don't go by empty-handed. This is fantastic. $100 suspended LSKD and Spire you'd be 1% better every day. That's great activewear all for you Amanda. Awesome thank you so much guys. Thanks. Jess and Dukko. Really quickly Dukko I have got one hell of a recommendation and I cannot sit quiet. Everyone needs to know about it.

Last night I had book club with the girls and our sort of commander, Carly, or Corley I think I call her. Yeah, Corley, our commander. For anonymity. Our book club leader. Corley brings the agenda, she sort of leads the question and she gets us back on track when all the sub-convers conversation start happening and we talk about Boyfriends or you know about your hubbies bitch about your hubbies

Corley brings us back to the agenda. Is it not the same questions each week? Slightly different because Corley works on those questions. So sometimes she specifies around the book, but generally yes They are similar questions month to month Corley sounds fun Without Corley though, we never would talk about the book. You need someone to keep it on task. You really do. Yeah, yeah. Part of the agenda though, Corley thought we could branch out from Book Chat and we

all bring a recommendation every week. So once we've sort of dissected the book, we wrap things up by, hey, do you have a recommendation? Could be another book that maybe someone needs an extra bit of reading. TV shows, podcasts, appliances, a new Pilates studio that's opened up in the area. Mophie brings her recommendation. Ah, yes. Old Mophie. And I had to share it because this one got the most attention from all the Recos. All right. Recos. The 7-Eleven app, Ducco.

Oh, yes. Do you have it downloaded? No. Neither had I. And I'll be honest, I go find the Woolworths affiliated petrol stations because I like to get the points, the reward points. So I've never got the app and I don't fill up at 7-Elevens. No. Mophie has turned this on its head.

She said, my recommendation, download the 7-eleven app and start filling up your car at 7-elevens. Yeah. Why is that? On the 7-eleven app, you can do something called fuel lock. So this has been around for like three years. I've never heard of it, shy guy. Have you heard of it?

I've not heard of it. So suck it because not everyone's heard of it. So sure, she's a good recommendation. I'm not good at shopping around for fuel and stuff like that. I just sort of go to the closest one. Some people get really into it. Mophie saved $14 on her last fuel, like petrol filler. That's a good saving.

That is a good saving. Don't turn your nose up at me, alright at me. I'm looking at Babs cause she was rolling her eyes. Do you know about it too? I wasn't rolling my eyes. You're eating. Do you know about it? No. There you go. You can fuel lock, which means on the app, you put in, um, what sort of petrol you fill up your car. hit find my cheapest petrol, the five closest 7-Elevens to you, you gotta have your location settings turned on, it scans your local 7-Eleven petrol stations,

and then tells you, hey, the one three kilometers from where you currently are has $1.72. You can lock that price in, Ducco, for a week. So if that price bounces the next day in the next seven days when you roll in you fill up and say to the attendant I fuel locked at a dollar seventy two so it might have bounced up to two dollars thirty. I see and then they've got to work out they're gonna price it down. Well they scan something. Yeah right. And you get it for that price you fuel locked it. There you go. Isn't that an amazing recommendation. I didn't know about that. We've got someone's perhaps has put in here 7-Eleven Australia

started its fuel price lock app feature May 1st, 2018. That was pre COVID. The first time I heard about it was last year at Apple Club. So pardon me for trying to spread a little savings. And you know what 7-Eleven do well? Your judgmental pieces of... The one dollar coffee. Yes.

I do the one dollar coffee or two dollars maybe. Either way, it's not bad. Don't tell me inflation's hit the one dollar coffee. Yeah, I can't quite remember but it's not bad. But another amazing feature. There you go. So there you go. Fuel lock.

So you'll be going out to fuel lock? I'll be doing fuel lock because whilst I might get points with the Woolworths servos, I don't think I'm saving upwards of $14. No. That's amazing. Look at that. Look at that. I did not have on my bingo card you doing fuel gear.

Neither did I, Ducco, but you just don't know what gems are going to be taken out of book club. And I thought I'd bring it to the right place. I want to know now if my friend is doing something rogue or if this is pretty common. 131060, when your partner is hungover, do you look for ways to punish them? Oh yeah. I mean, I think if you've got, I think if you've got kids. That's what it is, Ducco.

Yeah. I share an 18 month old daughter with my husband and look, to be fair, the number of times ... Was that a weird way to phrase that? I share her. I share her. It's like you both split custody. That does feel like we're separated. Yeah, it does feel like that.

We collaborated on making her, but we still continue to collaborate under the same roof. You and your husband have a daughter. We do. Yeah. He has been in her 18 months of life, I reckon he's been hung over twice. Like he doesn't- Oh, he's got a few more. Do you reckon?

Yeah, he's had a few more. Well, he's good at hiding it. He's not rubbish. He has pushed it. He's pushed the boat out to sea and lost sight of the shore a few times. I think it's too late in the morning to tell you what he did on one of these rare occasions. I'll tell you next week early. He will himself again. Bro.

Okay. All right. But, but what I'm saying is he's rarely been cactus when he's been hungover. So I haven't felt the need to punish him as a parent. But you're right, maybe it's more if you've got children. Yes. A girlfriend of mine, that's exactly what she admitted to. Her husband, father of her two children, I don't know, he's never sort of grown out of his partying.

It's hard man. It's not like he became a dad and turned that off. He still likes to turn one on with the boys. And she admitted the other day, she goes, anytime he has had a whopper of a night, I set my alarm early. Even if I haven't been able to book in for a gym class or Pilates class, she will nudge him awake at 6 AM and go, I'm off to the gym or I'm off to Pilates. Kids are going to be up soon and makes a real point of you don't get to be hung over in garbage. You're a dad.

I'm like, so you look for ways to punish him. Yeah. So he can come over at 2 a.m. and she doesn't have any of the next days, but she'll set her alarm early. Absolutely. And she will get out of the house. Even if that means sitting in her car for 45 to 50 minutes. She's like, no, no, you don't get to do that. You don't just get to have a morning off. Yeah, right. And I wondered if that, if that was a thing. People punishing their hungover partners.

People punishing their hungover partners, whether you have children or not. I think the punishment enough is having to take care of your kids. Like, just regardless, just being like, here you go. Hungover or not. Yeah, because if I was taking care of, it has happened to us, yeah, because obviously Flo is way too young. Yeah, yeah. But if you're taking care of her all day and the Morgan's out partying, the next day it's

like, hey, you've just got to still function today. Absolutely. You don't get to just switch off your responsibility hat. Yeah. But surely no one's doing this without kids. I'm sure you're not punishing someone for being hungover the next day. Which is, I wondered, I thought, is there an element of, oh, you went out without me, so now you get punished, but how you just turn the vacuum on or you start clanking around,

that sort of thing. Yeah, going to your family breakfast the next day. Yeah, hang on, I've booked in with the in-laws. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's punishment. Actually, that would be- A christening, a Sunday christening, oh goodness. You forgot, you've got to put a suit on, do your hair, and now sit in a church. So we go watch a baptism. Give me the blood of Christ.

I wondered if this was a thing or is my friend... Psycho. 13 10 60, how do you punish your hungover partner? Do you punish your hungover partner? Is it a thing? What creative ways do you punish your hungover partner? I love that. Creative ways you've punished your hungover partner.

Don't call up and be like, nah, I don't. I mean, you can. If you want that call of fame, maybe you want to contribute in that regard. But don't give us a call. We'll get you on there. Jess and Daco. Jess and Daco. 131060, we're talking punishing your partner when they're hungover. Do you do it? Is it a thing? I wasn't sure. Oh, thank you, Tayo. Thank you, Tayo. So your partner's in bed singing, Tayo. Thank you, Tayo.

So your partner's in bed singing like Tayo Cruz. I got a hangover. Yeah, singing well to a hungover. It's like, how did you get so good at singing while you're hungover? Where'd this come from? You know how some people have hidden talents once they've had a couple of 20s?

Maybe that's your partner. But a girlfriend of mine admitted they've got two children and her husband, she says, hasn't really grown out of that party boy phase. How old? Mid-30s. Hey, man. Sometimes if the party's with you, the party's with you. The beast is within you, you can't unleash it. You can have children but that doesn't mean you don't want to turn one on with the phalanx. Want to leave from example? She doesn't like it though. She doesn't like him rolling in at 2am being

cactus for the family the next day so she has started setting early alarms whether she booked in for the Pilates next day. So she has started setting early alarms, whether she booked in for the Pilates class or not, she elbows him away, says, I'm off to the gym. See ya. Kids are gonna be up soon. So he has to parent in the morning while he's dusty AF. I've not experienced it yet,

but I'm sure parenting hungover will be the worst. Can you imagine? It already hurts to have a headache and there's a modicum of noise. Imagine children who don't understand that clang and pots and pans screaming out for you having the TV on for once. You had to do it once or twice. That sort of red wine.

Yeah, yeah. Headache-y. Headache-y. And you know what? And you don't take, famously, you don't take painkillers. No, I don't. So like... But I also don't drink very much. The issue more, I think is the guilt where you go, you don't get to just turn off for one night.

Everyone goes, I just need to switch off for a bit. Yeah. But the consequences are there the next morning. The next day still there. You always need two days off. So you can have one day to drink and then one day to really be hungover. Yes, you literally need to go, I'm going away for the weekend. See you later.

Yeah. But let's go to Stacey. Cause I just don't know if my friend is doing her own thing or maybe this is a bit more common. Good morning, Stace. Good morning. How are you guys today? Thank you, babe. Do you punish your partner if they're hungover?

I sure do. Okay. More so when he's been out, he decides to go fishing like generally middle of winter and it's bloody cold and I'm not going fishing at night time on the boat. Is fishing just a code for 25 beers? As well as the fishing and the 25 million beers. As long as he comes on with one fish, he goes, I guess he was fishing. Yeah. Or, or even if he just gives that fish away, but yeah, I will, I will purposely walk into the bedroom as many times as I can, just to annoy the daylights out of him.

And then I'll pester him to go shopping. Get up. We've got to go. Just clapping things. Here we go. Yeah. You're not out all night, honey. It's now a couple of times.

We're fishing now. Come on. Kayla on 13 10 60, do you punish your hungover partner? Yes, I do. What do you do? I do. So we have quite a big blended family. So if he, obviously if it's just like once every now and again, I'm not this bad. But if it starts to become a pattern, I make it very, very hard for him.

So I let the kids know that we're having pancakes the next morning. So he's got to be up really early, but we make colored pancakes. So I make sure all seven kids have different colored pancakes so they can have different colored pancakes to make. And you have to make them individually. Dad, I'm having yellow. Dad, I'm having yellow. Dad, I'm having orange.

Yes. Yes. Very, very hard for him. And then I make sure we're really busy. Like, oh kids, we're going to go ride bikes today or we've really got to dig that garden up. Like, I really like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He needs to build that cubby. Yeah, yeah. Power tools. That's a good one. Yeah, like there's not a second to go for himself. If Rolls reverse Kayla and you drink, does he do it back to you? It's never happened. I don't drink.

Kayla's an actual, Kayla had no Teflon, nothing he'd stick to Kayla. That's great. Just giving him challenging things that use his brain. Coloured pancakes. Russ has called in on 13 10 60. Russ, you're the one getting punished. Oh yeah. Good morning, Jess and Ducco. How are we? Good mate. I want to hear from you. Yeah, from your perspective, Russ. Right. My lovely partner and I, we went away to Queensland. We live in the greatest city in Australia, Newcastle. We've gone up there to go and see a nephew of mine who had a 21st birthday.

Now the young blokes can definitely put away the store. I'm 40 years old, right? So it takes me about two to three business days to come good. Yeah, absolutely. To resurrect. So we've gone up there and I said to the wife on the Thursday night, right honey, I'm going to take you out for a sensational dinner. We're going to do a real nice, real flashy. Well, the young fella and I, we got on it absolutely sensationally.

The next day, we had to drive home back to Newcastle from Queensland. Oh. She punished me. Oh, was that hungover? It wasn't funny stood out the window in the car she's pump what girl music fight did you say eight and a half hours she's just got a little bit of a very good and I can imagine you in that feeling so sorry for yourself, but maybe a little sheepish

rush. You're not going, hey, can we turn that down, honey? Can we just have some quiet time? You wouldn't dare. Oh, I thought there was no one. There was no one. There was a lot of people. Oh, no, we're losing rice.

He's hungover right now. Oh, that's fantastic. It's too much white gal music playing. As he's spewing out the bag just a little bit. The rest is still unwritten. Jess and Ducco. One, two, three, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine,

nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, Now, it's too much white girl music playing. As he's spewing out the bag just a little bit. The rest is still unwritten. Jess and Ducko. One, two, three, three, three. Jess and Ducko's. What's the threesome? Everybody loves all. This guy's going to give us a trio of things. We're going to tell him what those things have in common.

Yeah, this is a tough game. I still don't fully get this. It's hard, you know, but like. Babs is playing. Yeah, you're in the studio I am yes, you've been very out of it today because you've got hay fever. You haven't had an antihistamine It's Friday and her phone's been a bit too interesting more interesting than the show We tried to talk to you before and you had your head buried in you in your tick tock

I don't watch tick tock during the show. Yeah, that's only that's a post nine o'clock thing. Yeah exactly. You're tired today though. Yeah first week back you know she hasn't eased into it. Yeah we're all we're all running on fumes. Anyway let's play the game. Shy Guy over to you. First question for you guys. Ghostbusters, The Matrix, Movies and Men in Black. Alien movies? Sci-fi movies. Oh, sci-fi's good. Oh, okay. Ghostbusters. Yes, they're movies, but that's not what I'm asking. Ghostbusters, Matrix.

Franchises? Keanu Reeves. Thriller? No. Ghostbusters, The Matrix. They're not Keanu Reeves movies? No, and what's the other one? Men in Black. Men in Black.

Are they all from the 90s? They all have one thing in common, not that. Okay. And not aliens, not sci-fi. No. Soundtrack! Nope. Anything about a pill? Nope.

Oh, yeah, not 90s or... Is it an actor? Nope. Okay, so it's not an actor. You're gonna have to give us a clue or move on. Alright, I'll just move on, cause I've got heaps of questions. What was the answer? I'll tell you.

Secret organisations dealing with hidden threats. Oh god, righto. Who is ever going to get that? So this is what I need. I know you said you wanted specifics. organizations dealing with hidden threats Well, okay Organizations, yeah, I remember it someone might have got it in you subway. I doubt it. All right gold Metal medals Olympics. Yeah, I'll give that to Jess. What was it? Medals. Okay.

See? Do you want harder or do you want easy? I just want to get it, like, you know, in the middle. Alright, we'll try this one. A kangaroo, a pocket and a wallet. Things with... Have pouches. Yeah. That's a good one.

See, that's a good one. Alright, we'll work out what the bar is and we'll... Organizations! This is the only game we didn't beta test on the podcast, so we've got to flesh it out over there. Yeah, yeah, we're doing it right. Okay. Hogwarts, Narnia, Middle Earth.

Mythical places, schools. Magic. Magical worlds. Talking animals? Fantasy worlds. I'll give you that. Thank you. One apiece each.

Jeez guys, come on, good on us for even getting on the board. This is Elvis, Prince and Madonna. Singers? 80s singers, no. And they're not all dead, Madonna's still alive. Elvis, Prince and Madonna. American, Americana?

Elvis, Prince and Madonna. Are they going... Oh, royalty! No. Oh. Um... Not what I'm looking for. Okay. What have Elvis, Prince and Madonna got...

Something about a pop-pop something? No. Hmm. Well, they all come from the same place. Elvis, Prince and Madonna. No. They all... Vegas.

Something in Vegas? No. No, I reckon that we're done. Okay. One named music. place. Elvis, Prince and Madonna. No. They all Vegas. Something in Vegas? No. No, I reckon that we're done. One named Music. Okay. Do we like that one? That was not bad. That was there for the time. That was a bit creative without being secret organizations. But I don't argue, like Prince, I don't know his real name first or last. Madonna, I don't

know her, whereas I know Elvis Presley so yeah Presley of course of course if you said Dido yes gold Bitcoin and property investments yeah I'll give you that investment Yeah, I'll give you that investment. Yep. Hello! I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Zürich, Geneva.

Places in Switzerland. Yeah, that's good. City's in Switzerland. Okay, we're flying it. Babs, you're out. It's between these two. See you, Babs. Have a good one.

Bye. Have a good one. Okay, make this one moderately difficult. A screwdriver, a paperclip, and the Eiffel Tower. Screwdriver? Screwdriver. Screwdriver, paper clip. Things made out of metal? Yes!

Oh, good get! Good get! Good get! I was going to be there for a while. I had no idea. Good! We like that one. Alright, good to know.

Jess and Ducco. Last couple of weeks I've been working on something privately, Ducco, and I want to bring it to you just to give you an update on what's going on behind closed doors for me. Okay. I've been wondering. Couple of weeks ago, if not going on two months, we had a wonderful event, a listener lunch, we invited 40 rice cookers to wine and dine.

Yeah. And there was a moment I had with a beautiful couple there that really made me take stock of who I am and how I'm behaving. On this, in this job, we have to be very conscious of a few things. One of them is a cousin. Yeah, you can't swear. You can't swear. We've had our moments.

We have had our moments and look, I'll be honest, I'm the first to admit before the sun comes up, I can let a few cheeky ones fly even on the radio. You come in here and you're just like hey morning. But in my real life away from this mic it's almost like I have to make up for it and I swear like a sailor. It's pretty pretty intense. You always say I don't hear you swear that that much outside of this. I catch myself doing it maybe because I associate you two with this job. I have this weird switch. Yeah I was gonna say I swear a bit. In conversation I've noticed that sometimes even people if I'm talking to someone and I'll drop something in there just casually like it's so nonchalant I'm like

oh they don't. Maybe because I would have said the same thing about you two. Maybe we don't hear it in each other. Because at this event, I was chatting to this wonderful couple and I just saw this woman flinch a little bit. And I went, God, I just need to rein it in. I think it's almost like I'm making up for it because we can't do it on the radio. I will swear on my social media a bit and my dad always without fail will DM me that language necessary Jess. I didn't grow up in a household that allowed it. My parents were soap on the

tongue. My dad tried to chilly me on the tongue once. So it's almost like in my adulthood I'm making up for lost time. But just with this interaction with these wonderful rice cookers I thought of I, I thought, I got to stop. And now there's a kid in the house who is a sponge. I don't want one of her first words to be a curse word. So I'm on this personal journey and I get this DM from a rice cooker named Corey. How's just the timing of this? As I said, I've not shared this publicly, but Corey messages me, I have a parenting

question. My wife and I are new parents and in this new phase, we don't know what to do, we thought we'd come to you. I went, sure Corey, I'm flattered. How do you get your kid to stop swearing? Our four year old is dropping F and C bombs. Any advice would be great. And I literally had to reply to Corey going,

I'm 34 and I'm trying to work on myself. I've got no parenting advice in this day. And also his kid is above your kid and age. So how the hell are you to know? I've got no idea. I'm trying to rein myself in Cory. I don't know how to do it for a kid. It's tough.

But it's just quite serendipitous. I'm working on myself and Cory came for a parenting question. Levels of swear words though. There are. You know what I mean? Like obviously. But is it a slippery slope? Yeah. If you open the door to one,

you gotta be prepared for all of them. Yeah, yeah. So. Yeah, I mean, and yeah, having the kids, that's gonna be a sponge and listen to it. Exactly. I've caught myself at home and I'll say, you know, a swear and then go, oh, I mean sugar.

And Angus is like, well, you've already said it. It's too late. It's too late. Yeah, there's nothing you can do. What, to correct you? How the, he's not gonna put chili chilli on my tongue is he? No. Got to be my own police. So anyway that's just what I'm working on behind the scenes. Okay so if every time you swear off air then we'll punish you in some way shape or form.

Yeah yeah. Do you want to bring a bar of soap in? Can do that. Yeah we can we can we can bar of soap you. And I can do it for you if you'd also like to cover this. No no I'm not on that journey. My journey they're just words for me. It's fine it's just colourful you know? It's just expressive. It is what it is. It is what it is. Yeah, I'm trying to hear who swears most in the team. Everyone swears like I suppose normally. It's funny, I'm so surprised you don't think that about me because I wouldn't have said that about you. I don't think we're hearing it in each other. Shy Guy,

definitely not. I don't hear you swear that much, no. But you think you do? I hear Babs drop a few, goodness me. Of all the hottie men. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or use can oh, that's yes, sorry Yeah, oh go on Your letter or Alphamarts letter. Holy moly. Here we go. I don't want to give it away. Okay Is it in a swearing realm? It might be. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ If you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back if there's time. We're playing for 10K and how's this? How's this for a name? The one and only, we got Jet. Hello, Jet.

Hey mate, how are ya? Oh, Jet, very good. Now when Babs took your call, she obviously entered your details in the system. She's hit you with the double T, J-E-double T. Is that how we're spelling Jet? That is correct, that's correct. Oh, I love that.

Yeah, sounds like you're fast. Like Jet's always on the move. Oh, I'm not really that fast, to be honest. Okay, all love that. Yeah, sounds like you're fast. Like Jett's always on the move. Oh, I'm not really that fast, to be honest. Okay, all right. Is that hard, Jett? Slow Jett. You know the name gives an impression of a person. People think you're speedy and then you're not.

No, it's just a, no, it's not right. Okay, and what do you do with yourself, Jett? I'm a scaffolder. All right, you're on site right now? Yeah, yeah I am. How do you rate yourself at Alpha Bucks? Oh, I'm alright, not the best. Okay, alright.

Let's give it a go. Have you got the crew around you right now on site? No, I've just walked away from them. Alright. He's focused. He's focused in. They're gonna give him a lot of grief if he doesn't do well, so come on. We've got to step up now, Jett.

What's motivating you today? What do you want to spend 10 grand on? I want to get tar and some baby stuff for my newborn. Oh, fantastic. How many weeks, Jett, what's motivating you today? What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Um, I want to get car and some baby stuff for my newborn. Oh, fantastic. How many weeks Jett? Um, 17 days. So just under two weeks, just over two weeks. Very fresh.

And uh, his name? Godspeed, my son. Kingston. Kingston. Jett made it Kingston. God damn. Damn. That's a family of strong names.

What a family. See Kingston feels slower to me. Oh. But maybe Kingston will be faster. Oh, because have you gone for the Vicky? Yeah, I've gone for the Vicky. The Vicky, yeah. See, I went Royalty.

Ah, yes. Are you a fan of the Kingston Biscuit? Is that why you named your son Kingston? To be honest, I didn't even know there was a biscuit named Kingston. Jett's just living his life, mate, you know? Jett's going to Woolworths after we hang out. Yeah, oh yeah, I'll be getting some. Yeah, hell yeah. mate, you know? Jet's going to Woolworths after we hang up. The letter you're gonna work with today, Jet, is the letter F. Oh yeah, alrighty. For... Fast. Fast Jet. For F or S? No, F for fast,

F for France. Yep, beautiful. You got that? Yep. Job, your time will start after the first question, here we go. Here we go. Starting with the letter F, we need you to name something you'd get from a cafe. A Frappuccino. A fashion brand. A, um, pass. A verb. Pass. A TV series.

Friends. An animal. A fox. An instrument. Pass. A TV series. Friends. An animal. A fox. An instrument. Pass. A fabric. Um. An occupation. Pass.

A mythical creature. Yeah, pass. A female celebrity. Damn, Jett. Goddamn, Jett. When you came out the gates with Frappuccino, I went, where are you? Here he goes. He's got it.

The boys love a mock-a the gates with Frappuccino, I went where are you? He's got it. The boys love a mocha, I love a Frappuccino. But then we ended up with three. We had a few passes in there, let's go through them Jett. Let's learn together. Fashion brand Forever 21, tough get, a verb, but, or a faint. An instrument could have been flute or the fiddle, a fabric, felt, an occupation, farmer,

flight attendant, there's a few mythical creatures, a fairy and a female celebrity, there's a few but Fergie could have been one. Look, Jett, you don't get the $10,000 but you do get $100 suspended LSKD and Spire, you'd be 1% better every day. Bit of a Fitspo for you. Thank you very much. Thank you, Jett. Hey Jett, it was great to chat to you regardless of the result, you know. All the best with Kingston. Thank you very much, appreciate it. I hope you

like the biscuits now because if Jett takes one bite and goes these are garbage I might have to change my son's name. Let us know what you think of the Kingston DMs. Actually Jett, while we've got you, question without notice, putting you on the fly here, up next we're doing a 13 10 60, when do you want to punch yourself in the face? You know, if know for something I did that was a bit cringe have you ever wanted to punch yourself in the face yet I'm not I remember no just me I mean after alpha box yet you could punch yourself in the face all right thank you very much yes and duck oh want to know when you want to punch yourself in the face? Open to interpretation on this one.

But just had a moment where you looked at yourself and you went, God, I'm not it. What am I doing? You felt shame brought upon your family name. Yeah. Cringed at something you said or did. Yeah, but just how do I get here? What am I up to? Over the break that we were off, we had, uh, well, I had paternity leave for a month, you guys sort of just jumped on that too.

We had team paternity leave. Thank you for that. Uh, no, no worries. It was great to have you guys all around. Such a poor. I felt recharged. So, uh, through that time, the election was in full swing, right? This is, this is before Albo has been reelected, yada, yada.

My parents were here. They were here for, as you know you know, a couple of weeks. There was a period in that election where they did the debate. Did they do two debates? I think they did two debates, whatever. I've never watched an election debate in my life. Not really my thing, not a fan of it. Are they still doing that worm? I didn't see the worm. I didn't see the worm, no. I used to love the worm. Oh, that's a really long worm. I too did not watch. I didn't see the worm. I didn't see the worm. No. I used to love the worm. I too did not watch.

Well, no. Unfortunately Jess, I did watch. Oh! I found myself, this was a real stare into the soul moment, how do I get here? Sitting on the couch next to my newborn daughter who's asleep, drinking a herbal tea on a whatever night it was, watching the election with my parents, commenting on the policies. So let me put it out there. You didn't want to do that.

Mum and dad wanted to watch it. They put it on. Did you find yourself engaging? Well, I looked over Morgan's on her phone. I'm actually watching, talking to mum and dad about the policies and talking about the parties and I was like, oh my God, what's happened? Did you catch yourself like arguing with your mum and you're going, hang on. Truly, truly.

I was like, what's happened to me? I'm caring and watching electoral politics while drinking herbal tea. And I have a daughter. The duck of yester, yesteryear had a real issue with tea in general. And now I do an herbal. Actually, you mentioned the other day, you're anti-bag. You're doing loose leaf in your house, which is a whole other level of tea. I'm doing, yeah.

Oh yeah. I boiled it. I let it brew for a while before I pulled that. Do you want that on the record? Anti-bag? I'm anti-bag for sure., I boiled it. I let it brew for a while before I pulled that thing. Do you want that on the record? The anti-bag? Anti-bag, for sure. Put me on the record as that. Watching the election.

Arguing with mum and dad about this. Drinking herbal tea. Do you remember which policy got your parents most fired up? I can't even remember. Next to my daughter, and I actually went, I think she'd been alive for like eight, nine days at that stage. And I was like, it's happening. This is the end.

Talked about you going full dad mode. It was bad. I know I didn't voluntarily want to watch it. Like they put it on, but man, I wanted to punch myself in the face in that exact moment. So begs the question, make me feel better. 13, 10, 60. When did you want to punch yourself in the face? You guys made me want to punch myself in the face the other night when you were poo-pooing my moon excitement. So maybe someone made you feel like you were punchable. Whenever you get a good text from a good friend saying, Hey, have you guys seen the moon tonight? How badly did I misread my friends that I thought you two would be excited about the

moon? Were we not? Nah. Bro. I took a photo of that excitement. Oh, that was us taking a picture. Hey, hey, the fa- 100%. You didn't send one at all. I prefaced the conversation, shy guy, by saying, guys, go out and look at the moon. I want to send your picture, but they come out blurry.

Ducko absolutely took the piss by sending a photo. A blurry. Then it all piled on. Yeah. I said, don't send photos. I know they never come up. So we all sent photos and she was like, beautiful, gorgeous. I really had to sit with myself going, at least they went and did.

Yeah. They did go and look. It was a big moment. Took the kid outside. Yeah. It was a big moment. It was a big moment. It was a wow.

I want to punch myself in the face. Cause I've always been into star signs and I'm proud of that. But actually caring about the beauty of the moon. Yes. Yeah. That was another level. When you start appreciating the little things, you know what I mean? When you get a new, like I got a new, I got a new laundry detergent like that, the super pong one that like releases the smell from my gym clothes and doesn't

stink anymore. Man, that was a good time. You get really excited about that. Oh goodness me, that was good. So, you know. I know Angus got excited when we got that dishwasher installed after living in a dishwasherless house for three years. That would be a great moment. I'm pretty sure he stood in front of it for a good 20 minutes when it turned on going, yes. The lights were out, he's just still there in front of it. Look at this. Wearing your pants Angus.

Mee-lay really gets him going. Good morning honey, I know he's doing the kid drop off this. Mee-lay. Oh he's just texting me like, how dare you? It's an LG, not a melee. Sorry. It's an LG, even holler. Don't disrespect.

Shaggy, you ever want to punch yourself in the face? Yeah, actually yesterday there was a song that I wanted to bat up for bangers and I was deliberating it with Babs and my whole life I thought the artist was called Stranded, but it's actually stained. And then Babs and we're talking about it. And then from the newsroom around the corner, they go, it's stained. And I was like, Oh, it is too. On my phone for so long, that word was stranded.

As in you knew this song in the artist, but for your whole life, you've had it wrong in your brain. Oh, that's funny. I've never heard of stained or stained. But the newsroom's over Oh, that's funny. I've never heard of stained or stained. The newsroom's over here, I can't even say it. And then you yell it out. It's stained, you idiot.

You moron. Yeah, it's one thing to do this in the privacy. Like you're with your parents. I was on my own. You're not getting other people involved. Thanks, Dave. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Right now, 13 10 60. Welcome to Friday. We're talking wanting to punch yourself in the face. Absolutely. Ducko had a moment. Yeah. Sipping some loose leaf tea, watching the election debate. With my parents, while my daughter was like, I don't know, two weeks old,

thereabouts and they were here. And I, and I was discussing policy differences between the parties with them. And I don't care. And then I realised what I was doing and I wanted to punch myself in the face. I actually got my phone at that moment. I wrote down, was that what you're doing? I was like, when I get back to work, I'm going to go was doing and I wanted to punch myself in the face. I actually got my phone at that moment. I wrote down, was that what you're doing? I was like, when I get back to work, I'm going to go, when did you want to punch yourself in the face?

We've all had a moment. Let's have some self-reflection on a Friday. Ali on 13 10 60. Good morning. Good morning. How are you going? Yeah, great babe. When was the last time you wanted to punch yourself in the face?

So I was freshly out of school, um, and doing my apprenticeship, um, traineeship in pharmacy and, um, I was helping a lady in vitamins and she was buying some for her husband, of course. Um, and they happen to be cross-stake, um, health vitamins. And I asked her they for herself. Yeah, good. Ah, yeah. Lucky no one from your course or a tutor or whatever was around them. and I asked her they for herself. Yeah, good. Ah, yeah. Oops. Yeah.

Lucky no one from your course or a tutor or whatever was around them. It's like, she shouldn't work in health. What's she doing? Yeah. Ah, Sophie on 13 10 60. When do you want to punch yourself in the face, Soph? Oh, sorry, me?

I found myself last week, I called into a well-known radio station, mainly for the older generation, and asked a question about my hydrangeas on Garden Chat. On Garden Chat. Oh, Garden Chat. Did you get the answer you needed? Yeah, man.

It was great. And then what are you just dabbling back into us to feel younger? What's up? What's going on? That's fantastic. I don't know. It's just, yeah, it's horrendous. I'm 20, yeah.

I think I want to punch myself in the face now, but I'm curious about your hydrangea question. Was it something about how they drink from the petals? No, well, I've just transplanted them and I was worried about all this rain that they were going to die, but they reckon that they love rain and that's why Hyde is in the name. Oh, hydrangea. No need to fret, everyone. We'll get Sophie on for our garden segments. Weekly. That's not a bad idea.

Georgia, hello. Hello. When have you wanted to punch yourself in the face? Well, it wasn't actually myself that wanted to punch myself in the face. I made myself punch myself. It was my ex-partner who just snored terribly loud and I was just laying there and I just wanted to punch myself in the face. I see he's a loud snorer.

That's very nice, you want to just punch him in the face. People get very frustrated with being kept away. Get rid of yourself, I want to knock myself out so I don't have to hear him. You did say ex-partner, did you dump him? Oh no, not because of that. Not because of that, alright. Let's get into it. Well I dumped him on the high train just for Facebook page change at the time of day. He's been a fun good friend of the show, Paul Cruz Well, I dug down on the high drain just for people to be charged at the time of day.

He's a good friend of the show, Paul Cruz Taylor has called in. Paul Cruz Taylor, hello, when do you want to punch yourself? What's up Tay Tay? Hey, when I was younger, I used to work in a vegan restaurant and it was very busy at the time and I had to just go and let the customers know that their food was coming and I went out and said, I'm so sorry it's taking so long. The chefs are just running around like headless chickens. Oh, not in a vegan restaurant.

Tyler. Did they look at you like, how dare you? Headless tofu doesn't work. They just stared at me and I stared at them. Like they knew that I knew what I just said. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just an awkward silence.

And then I obviously I profusely apologizeised like, no, it's fine. It's fine. That's a cancelled little offence. You can't be talking about chickens in a vegan restaurant. We'll just start crying. The judge you'd get from them. Oh. Cal, good morning.

Hello. Hello. When have you wanted to punch yourself in the face? I was giving, this is not very long ago. I was giving my daughter a tutorial on how to safely use power tools and I accidentally Shot myself at close range with the nail gun through my finger I just wanted to punch myself in the body to be fair Cal's a great lesson. Don't do this Yeah, how did you do nail guns aim point and pull the trigger. Yeah. So what happened? How did that happen?

Well, you actually have to put pressure on the end of the nail gun for it to register. And I put pressure on it with my finger. Oh, that's dumb. That's so good. Oh, Cal. That is so... Were you instantly in pain just screaming or were you trying to pull it together? No, I tried to keep it calm. I said, now you're going to need to call the ambulance and I might go into shock.

Here's a lesson of calling the ambulance. Zero, zero, zero. That's funny. Anytime you now try to educate your daughter, she's going to be like, I ain't listening to you. Oh, she's traumatized. I'm not even allowed to pick up a screwdriver now. She's traumatized. You have no authority.

Oh, that's great. Lacey, hello. Lacey. Hi. Hi. When you want to punch yourself in the face Lace? Oh I work in retail and um went up to a customer and was just like oh do you need a hand? Um and they turned around and they actually had one amputated hand. Um, and yeah, I just completely just stood there. I was like, Oh, can I help you with anything? Did they go, yes, I do. Yeah. They kind of made a joke. You hope they would.

Like you're trying to high five it. Yeah. You double they would. They said you had to high five it. You doubled down on high ten! Oh yeah, so now I think my approach is... I mean, how are you to know? Do you need a hand in such a common phrase? I know, it's such an Aussie, friendly... Let's remove that from our vocabulary.

Jess and Ducco Jeez, we need to take a look back at the week that was. How have you found your first week back, Ducco? This was your first week back from paternity leave. We all very, we're very lucky to jump on that little break with you. That bandwagon. Yeah, that parental leave bandwagon we all got. Hit the ground running.

How do you feel? Feels good. I mean, tired, a bit on. A wooden unknown. Adjusting. You're a wooden unknown. Yeah, great. So let's take a look back at the week that was and see if we can hear it.

What a wicked spin with Jess and Ducco. We're back from holidays and it didn't take long for all of us to start hating on each other. Jess and I had some beef after a horrible Pixar movie recommendation. I'm sick of the conversation in this room. Jess and I were fighting. They're talking about Ratatouille Babs. He doesn't like Ratatouille. And how rats can't cook.

It's an animated film to start with. Thank you. He's fighting with me saying it's not accurate because they can't cook. I've never wanted to leave this space more. At least you could have gone to a Bug's Life. I should have come out with you. At Bug's Life they were bugging. They were doing bug things. But they're talking bugs.

We've got no issue with that. Juggies better wrap this up because we could keep going. Are you saying the scale, like the rats can't cook, whereas the bugs will do the bug-like thing, so if they're talking, it's more believable? It feels like being... What else is there? It's got an issue with believable Disney movies. I mean, Happy Feet, do penguins dance?

No. Don't get me started on that. Anyone can cook. And the hating continued when Ducco started piling on to produce a Babs. OK, I wrote a good nickname for Babs. I know you're my ally, but this is fun. Burn the bridges, Ducco, burn the scarecrow. She's made of straw!

Cos her hair's straw-like. If I only had a brain... I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-dary, if I only had a brain. Bye, guys, I'm leaving. How's that alliance going? At least Shy Guy and I have two broke elves. Babs new nickname stuck around because it's all the guys we talk about while we ask for your Vegemite combos on 131060.

Yeah, happy little Vegemites. Babs not so much, but that's okay. Babs not so much. Scarecrows famously, what a huge fan of spreads. Don't love a Vegemite. They're serial. Love a crow though. And an open field. Love some crop. Anyway, sorry babs.

For the record, I can't even tell if hair is thin or not. I know, don't dig out of this now. I was just gonna go. Hey man, you've worked with us for a year and a half now I thought your skin was a little thicker by now. Unlike your hair. Yeah, until the first week back I died. I'm tired. Unlike your hair. Jess cleaned the bathroom at her place and she was so proud of herself for being so domestic but she made a real error when cleaning up afterwards. She got her bathroom cleaning sponge mixed up with her kitchen cleaning sponge.

And I looked at the sponge and I went, jeez this sponge is ratty. Holy crap. Oh no you didn't. I just returned the sponge that I cleaned the whole bathroom. Toilet included? You did the inside of the toilet with that though. Like the inside of the room. You know like not bowl. Not bowl like you know what I'm talking about.

And still has so much urine on that. Oh goodness. And so Angus, so he doesn't know. He doesn't know. And I went to text him and then went, I think ignorance is bliss. 100%, 100%. I wouldn't want to know. Also, how impressed is that from the human body? Not one of you got sick. And you're wiping toilet down. And we've talked about my iron guts because I eat stuff off the floor all the time. I'm happy for Lucci to eat fistfuls of sand and dirt. Literally, Angus puts pasta on the floor now and you just look it up. That's what you're sounding like right now. Yeah, yeah. What I'm saying is I'm not the cleanest or tidiest.

Yeah. Yuck. When Darko's not here with us, he's hosting trivia on a Tuesday night. He had a real doozy calling out another team's name this week. So last night there was a group of six, I'm going to say late 30s women. And they go to me, and I didn't hear because it's loud, this is like 8.50, and they go, what's your team name? They go, Quizzy McGuire, and I go, quiz on my face!

And they all go, what? I was like, what? There's no chance he's Quizzy McGuire! I'm so sorry, I couldn't explain how? There's no end to it! I know, I was like, I'm so sorry. I couldn't explain how my child's been crying all day and I work breakfast radio and I'm child's just like, I get lots of weird names. Was Quiz on my Titties a team name last night? No, but they'd been there a few times

and I've had a quiz on my face as well. So I was like, quiz on my face? And they're like, what? And I was like, oh god, this looks so bad on so many levels. I'll give you a bonus point for Quizzy McGuire. Quizzy McGuire. We're talking about chickens on the show and we got this random DM from Rice Cooker Jake that completely blew our minds.

Jake says, use no chickens are the closest relative to dinosaurs, fact. That can't be true. It's gotta be crocodiles. I think it is birds, to be fair. Yeah. I think it's birds, but Jake's telling me chickens. I think it is birds to be fair. Yeah. I think it's birds but... Shia Gaido, you're a good Google, a Babs Google app.

Chickens cannot be the closest relatives. Google's AI says yes, chickens are indeed the closest living relatives to dinosaurs. Are you joking? Specifically meats eating ferropod dinosaurs like the Tyrannosaurus and the Velociraptor. So it's not chicken run. This is Jurassic Park going on at your friend's house. Wow, what happened to chickens? They used to be dinosaurs and now they're running around hoping they don't get killed.

I bet you they can fly. Well you know how they just sort of do that flutter? Oh yeah, they flutter up like half a foot. I bet you they can. They're just like, I don't want to. Yeah, I don't want to. Seems like a lot of energy. It feels like if they could fly, it'd be smarter from them, but you know. See you next week, Grass Cookers. Jess and Ducco. See you next week, grass cookers!

An absolute rip off for our first week back. You get involved in the show, you can walk away with $500 a span at Urban Jungle Beauty. It's Australia's own Korean-made skincare. Visit UrbanJungleBeauty.com. I must say, I don't know if there's ever been more honourable mentions. We could not whittle it down today. So we normally get each day we get the call to go, oh that person's winning today. The next day is that, are they better than that person from Monday? And even then sometimes you go, Jesus, like three, four that have stood out. We had four standouts today before we did our phones.

And then all of a sudden, when you want to punch yourself in the face comes along and bang, there was a lot of great punchable ones. Kel gets in touch. She had a real I wanted to punch myself in the face moment. Turns out she'd already punished herself enough. This is what she told us. I was giving my daughter a tutorial on how to safely use power tools and I accidentally shot myself at close range

with the nail gun through my finger. Oh no. I needed surgery and everything. I just wanted to punch myself in the back. To be fair, Cal, it's a great lesson. Don't do this. Yeah, how did you do this? Don't do this. Nail guns aim, point and pull the trigger. Don't do this. Yeah. How did you do it? Don't do this. Nail guns aim, point and pull the trigger.

Yeah. So what happened? How did that happen? Well, you actually have to put pressure on the end of the nail gun for it to register and I put pressure on it with my finger. So then it just... Oh, that's dumb. That's so good.

Oh, Kel. So not only is she now recovering after that surgery, she's won the call of fame. Well done, Kel. Congratulations, Kel. Your stupidity has paid off. Oh, thank you. I've never been so proud of her. You gave your lessons to her as well by calling the ambulance. That was, I mean, we should say that.

Absolutely. Kel, what is your experience with power tools? Like are you in a trade or something? That's why you were trying to educate your daughter. No, just home renovations. I was trying to put a cat tree up on the wall. Ah, it happens. It happens, Kel.

Well, you enjoy it, okay? You enjoy the skincare. Thank you very much. Thanks, Kel. Thanks for getting involved, and to everyone. Oh, some great contributions. Really appreciate great stories this week. Really good stories. More next week as well,

another Call of Fame for Grappers next week to be fantastic. Absolutely. We'll be here. Yes. A lot of laughs to be heard. A lot of lulz. Alpha Box is back. We're back. All your good old segments are back. Absolutely. I'd really like to reiterate as well, if there's something on your mind and you need to dissect it, you need some help, you want some advice or you just think this is a ripper of a tale, Jess and Ducca on Instagram. We've actually had a few coming in. We talked about what to put in a party bag for a 35 year old. Adult rice cooker wants to bring that back, nostalgic childhood thing. We've gotten a few people wanting some advice, some help, some opinion. So please keep them coming through. We love to see your contributions. Any content ideas, always swing our way.

Games, if you have a game idea. Oh, haven't had any game ideas come through. We'll try it on the podcast Okay, play it on the show. Beta test. We love it. Been a great first week back team Good to be back with you all on the air. Yeah, you've battled through some sleep deprivation already, which obviously Part and parcel of being a new parent, but kudos to you. Well done. Thanks. Thanks for having me back Now you compliment all us. You guys been great great too yeah today Babs you're a bit off apart from that though Monday to Thursday flying she's not she's not well out there today I haven't seen you this down and out in a long while have we got to the bottom of it is it the sinuses the hay fever

oh should I go know something that he's not saying? No, I don't know. I don't know what's... is it your lack of brain? Your scarecrow-ness? Why would you do that to me? Yeah, I was like, risky. Okay. I'm upset we haven't actually brought that up more today. Yeah. I hope that doesn't peter out. No, it won't peter out. It won't peter out. I promise. I promise. She's a scarecrow now Well, yeah, we'll be back here next week on Monday. Have the best weekend. We'll see you then. Bye Bye. Billions of sex crazed cicadas are emerging from their sleep pods hungry for love Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's new Tennessee barbecue range now touring for a limited time