Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Gurple

Episode Date: March 30, 2025

Ducko explains another role he's got in the birthing suite and we ask for your embarrasing  'spec savers' moments.Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Surprise Fries is back at Macca's with a one in three chance to win millions of prizes. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco Podcast. Welcome to the podcast everybody. Wow, what a Monday. The last day of March 2025. Yeah, it wasn't our best today. It wasn't my best guys. I was a bit... I'm happy to take you out of it and blame purely the elbow. Wasn't you... My we the elbow. Was it you? My weenus.

Was your weenus? When did your weenus get you? Running independent of your body. Yeah. My weenus has no feeling either. It doesn't have no feeling. I could come over there and put it. Pinch my weenus.

Come hang over my weenus. Put a pin through your weenus. Your nipples don't feel anything either. Exactly. Actually, squeeze your weenuses right now. That feels how my nipples feel when you guys squeeze them. Bizarre. Yeah, that's exactly how it feels. You feels how my nipples feel when you guys squeeze them. Bizarre. Yeah, that's exactly how it feels.

You've got two weeks before paternity leave. Shy guy. I'm going to need an expert on nerves to come in and tell me what's going on with his nips. Or just a nipple expert. Can you get it done? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is someone, you know how like a podiatrist focuses on fish? A gynecologist focuses on the lady cave.

Who was dedicated themselves to nipples? Yeah, I don't know. A diatrist focuses on fish. A gynecologist focuses on the lady cave. Who was dedicated themselves to nipples? Yeah, I don't know. Or is it breasts in general? No, it would have to be breasts, you'd think. But I guess breasts don't even have their own doctor, do they? Got a funny nipple story for you. Hit me.

So, you know. Do you want to record it as live? Maybe we'll play it on the show tomorrow. Nah. Okay. It's not that funny. So Morgan was asleep. You know, she's asleep on her side because she's pregnant.

And she's tasked me of checking on her to make sure she's on her back and roll her over. Just roll Migloo over. That's right. Gently, though. Don't wake her up. Oh, yeah, yeah. She was asleep. And I thought her back was to me. And I started, like, I was just giving a little pat in the night, a little feeling or whatever.

That's nice. And then I felt this lump. And I was like, oh, no. And the lump was, like, pretty hard. And I was, like, rubbing up and down the lump. and I was like, oh no. And the lump was like pretty hard. I was like rubbing up and down the lump and I was like, oh shit, she's got a... So your, is your back to her or your facing what you thought the back, almost a spoon situation? Yeah.

And I'm rubbing her and I'm like, oh, there's a huge mole on her back. I'm like, that's gotten big. Cause I felt, I know, I know her back pretty... Of course. After more than a decade together, you know her bumps. And I got really worried cause she also gets because she's prone to getting moles and whatever. She's a fair-skinned lady. Exactly.

And then I realized it was actually her nipple. And I was rubbing her nipple and it had gotten harder overnight. And she was awake while I was doing it. Well, it hadn't gotten harder because you're rubbing it. I'm rubbing it. So it's gotten harder. Hang on a minute. So were you rubbing with just your finger?

My index finger, yeah. Because how did you not notice bosom? It was dark. I don't know. It was just like right on the button here. Like it was just right on the button. My index finger, yeah. Because I'm going up and down. I'm like, bosom. It was dark. I don't know. It was just like right on the button here. Like it was just right on the button. And then I was like, and then she's like started laughing. I was like, I thought your nipple was a mole.

Would you have woken her up then and there? No, I would have waited. You would have waited. The next day I would have gone. I'm booking you in for a skin check. 100% we need to go get that thing cut off you. And yet you were just fiddling her nips. Yeah, yeah.

And she seemed to enjoy it obviously. Yeah, she woke up. She was like, ooh, okay, good morning. Angus and I have started calling nipples, I don't know why, gerples. Gerples? Where'd that come from? I couldn't tell you, and that's why I wondered, why is that in our...

You know, sometimes we take a cute picture of Lucia, but you know, if she's eating, we've taken the shirt off. It's like, snap a cute pic, but we're like, no gerples, obviously on social media, no gerpels in the family. I don't want gerpels out there. Yeah.

So gerpel means to chase a rubbish truck up the street after forgetting to put the bins out. You've had a gerpel. That's, that's, where did that come from? Dictionary.com. Cause I was going to say, you're fiddling with her gerpels. Yeah, I'm having a gerpel. I'm not chasing a bin up the street.

You're not chasing the bin up the street. That's funny. Well, there you go. Well, I'm not chasing a bin up the street. You're not chasing the bin up the street. That's funny. Well, there you go. Well, I'm good on you for like being across your wife's moles and checking that stuff. She always makes me check them. That's why. Good, good. That's why.

Do you have that little telescope, you know, that the doctor sees? Yeah, I go through. Here we go. Yeah, I've got that. I whip that one out. Mine's long though. Like mine's one of the old school dentures. Like a pirate.

I've got a pirate telescope. Go check that out. Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, that's my nipple story. Angus sleeps with such a pillow fort around him. I'd love him to have a fondle of a night time. Oh, just reach over.

We've got so much distance between us. He couldn't reach. Oh, no. It's upsetting. What have you got to do, Babs? Oh, you guys teaming each other? Babs just sent me the Urban Dictionary for Gurple, and I want Babs to read it out on the mic.

No, come on. You've done the research. You can read it. We're on a podcast. Just read it. You've done the research. Take credit. Yeah, this is not when you type something into the box that you know is naughty, and you

have to read it out loud. It's the rules. Come on. You'll be all right. Don't lean so far away from the mic. We're in the podcast. No, it's really inappropriate. Oh, it's okay.

We're in the podcast. There's no rules. We're not live on air. I'll put the e-label. Jess will yell content warning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ready? Three, two, one.

Content warning! I'm not reading it out. It's disgusting. We're not live on air. I'll put the e-label. Jess will yell content warning. Ready? Three, two, one. Content warning! I'm not reading it out. It's disgusting. How bad is it? A post-cum butt-queef spray. Well, I'm never using that word again. Hang on, hang on, hang on. A post-cum butt-queef spray.

So what is... More accurately, a gooey spray fart. So if you're doing... If you're doing... If you're up the mud button... Yes. And then... Oh, I get it. And, if you're up the mud button. Yes. And then. Oh, I get it.

And you finish in there and it releases it. Yes. Like the mister setting on the toes. You finish inside and then push it out. A post pump. That's a gerbil. That's what you and your husband are calling each other's nipples. Do you want to screenshot this and just send it?

Oh my God. You will sit in front of someone who's a real dirty kinky bastard when they're done. You guys gerbil as well? Yeah. You too? in front of someone who's a real dirty kinky bastard when they're there. They'll be going, you guys gerple as well? Yeah. You too? Do you guys like to gerple? Babs, thank you for educating me. There you go.

You're welcome. You filthy. I wish that came out of Babs' mouth. I know. I try. I wish that came out. What word were you most not wanting to say? Come or queef?

Queef's one of the great words. Whoever invented queef is like, they deserve a pay rise. Oh, my God. She gurgled all over me. That's the, use it in a sentence. I wonder where you, like, imagine if Angus heard someone say it and then he brought it back to you and you said it. Where the hell did that come from?

Or maybe he's just testing you. He's like testing to see if you're. Do you have a nickname for nipples? No. Because we need a new one. Nip-nip and nipple. I call Morgan's other... Nip-nip.

And nipple. And nipple. Oh, nip-nip is the left, nipple is the right. Correct. That's great. But apart from that, no. I've just texted Angus, oh my God. And he just wrote back, oh my God.

I bet you he replied going... Ew! He replied going, yeah, didn't you realise? What did you think it meant? Everyone loves a good Kerbal. Oh, my God. I'm so glad. This show is so educational.

Oh, we just. Unbelievable. I'm just Googling. So educational. I got flagged last week. Yeah, that's right. For looking up strip clubs. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all for the show. What were you looking up, though? I wouldn't categorize the price list for the Spearmint Rhino. But that's not porn. I've got flights looking at porn. They're thinking I'm on

RedTube at work or something. Yeah, I guess. Which you have been before. You have. I did get advice and then I took down the network to quote IT. What are the chances of that?

Three in a row. Sorry, just pivoting. Yeah, with my push playlist or Morgan's push playlist. Our push playlist. We've said on the record, please stop mentioning Salt-N-Pepa Push It. It is. One, it's too cliche and two, Morgan's push players, our push players. We've said on the record, please stop mentioning salt and pepper push it. It is.

One, it's too cliche, and two, it's been batted up. What do you reckon now? Upwards of 40 times. Oh, so many. We've just had three in a row. Yeah. There you go. Coco moco.

Coco mo. Coco mo was a great. Aruba, Jamaica. That'd be actually pretty good. That would be good. It'd be quite calming. I could add that to the place. Ah, take it fast and then we'll take it. That's good actually pretty good. That would be good. It'd be quite calming. I could add that to the place.

Ah, take it fast and then we'll take it. That's good for her contractions maybe. There you go. That's where you want to go. That'd be fun. Shark Eye can sing along because he's going to be in there. I like that. I heard they said there's songs for CPR.

Is there actually songs with a BPM for breathing? Great question. I guess every BPM is different. It would need to be very slow because you want to breathe slowly as opposed to CPR where it's quite fast. In the CPR course I did yesterday, which is actually my first time ever doing CPR. Everyone there had done it a few times. I'd never done CPR.

And how terrifying. Did you do the CPR on the baby dolls? Yeah, you got to push for it. Definitely breaking some ribs if you do that. Oh, it's terrifying. With the fingers? Yeah, the little fingers. We did that and she's like, so it's beats per minute to either baby shark.

Shut up. Or just staying alive. Oh, staying alive. What song do you want to hear? I was like, so it's beats per minute to either Baby Shark. Shut up. Or just Stayin' Alive. Oh, Stayin' Alive. What song do you want to hear? I was like, let's do Baby Shark. Everyone was like, how old are you? No, Stayin' Alive. I'm like, come on, man.

Baby Shark is catchy. I got in first, all right? Baby Shark. So can you, just while we're here, just refresh my memory. Yeah. Is it 30 compressions? 30 compressions to two breaths. Thank you.

But now they're actually taking the breath part potentially out nationally, like America have taken out. So they're saying the breath is actually not the most important part. And sometimes people breathe too much, which puts too much oxygen and fucks it up. Also, it ruins your rhythm. You might breathe. Shut up. Breathe.

It ruins your rhythm. So that hasn't been sort of the advice now. Yeah. No, they're saying that a lot of places are taking it out. She said if it was my kid, I would still do it. But it's tiny breaths. Yes, of course. And then you go straight back to the 30.

Otherwise, just keep doing 30. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for the education. I thought I remembered 30, but I wanted to double check the breaths. Yeah, definitely 30. It'd be crazy if I had to do that. It's terrifying, isn't it?

How did you find doing back blows? Oh, heavy. And you really hit that thing. I know, right? And then we had like a doll of like. Touch freaking wood. I haven't had to do that, but Christ. We had a doll, like a little boy doll, like a bigger one.

And had to really give him some. Yes, yes. I know. Heckers. I know. Show the back blow. Demonstrate the back blow on the shy guy. Come over, lean him over.

This is how hard you've got to do it. Yeah, it's hard. You're going to lean him over? What do you mean? If your child is choking, you don't do the- Like the home leak is actually apparently been disproven in CPR, sorry, first aid courses. It is back blows, particularly for a young person and the heel of the hand.

She said the Heimlich. Because you've just got to basically use physics to get it. There was a reason you can do the Heimlich, but at first you do the back blow, the front blow. Oh, okay. And then after, if you can see there, it's just like, you like get your fist in, you got to like dig under the. Oh, isn't it funny? We got told don't do the Heimlich. Yeah. But no, the He can see there, you can get your fist in. You've got to dig under the... Isn't it funny?

We got told don't do that. Yeah, but no, the hummock was certainly not the first thing to do. Absolutely, yeah. But anyway. Why? Some guys in the course had done the CPI course four times. As in the child first day course? Not child, just normal.

But I'm like, oh, you've done a normal first day course four times? Were they in, do you know what, vocation? Action industry is going to need to do it. Like, teachers need to do it every year. Right. Don't know what he was in. Keep it refreshed. Yeah, I'm not sure what he did.

Was it mostly very pregnant women and their partners? Yeah, and then one who were a couple who just had a 13-week-old or whatever. Okay, yeah. And they're like, oh, she was choking the other night and we didn't know what to do and now we're like, that's why we're here. Holy, oh, wow. Okay, all right. Yeah, yeah.

But you always wonder where you'd go if it actually happened in the moment. You know what I mean? Like, if something's happened to your kid, you're like, how brave would I be? How would I be able to remember all this? Absolutely. Oh, my God. Even just the stuff about hot scalding water, you know, the burns or the rashes. And then all that rashes.

Or the poison. I saw some rashes at Chaga. I found some of your scabies. Yeah, but a diagnosis specifically next time. Has anyone seen rashes? I'm well familiar with scabies. You'll have to diagnose specifically next time. Has anyone seen rashes? I'm well familiar with scabies. My producer gets it every couple of weeks. What would you recommend?

What cream? But it's a lot, isn't it? Yeah. You don't want to go back once a week, every six weeks. You'd rather do it all in one. Oh, God, I found it so overwhelming. It's just dense learning things again. Five hours of sitting to someone teach you things.

When was the last time you did that? You know? Years ago? Yeah, uni? Uni for you? Oh, man, it was, yeah, yeah. Dense. It's different with the concentration span.

Yeah, yeah, it is. Have snacks? Do they provide snacks? Yeah, they did. Lunch, had some snacks. We love that. Morgan was bouncing on a little medicine. She had an exercise ball in there.

Yeah, was she the furthest along in the group? Yep. Yeah, she was definitely the furthest along. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two weeks, man. Two weeks ago, guys. We were at the shops yesterday.

You know me. I can't help myself. I'm such a spoiler. But I won't tell you exactly. But we were at the shops the other day. And Agus goes, should we buy that for Ducko? So I've got a present coming your way. Oh, another one?

Yeah, man. We kind of, you know what? Is this for the baby or for me? It's for the baby. Oh, fuck. But, but, by extension, you. Ah, good. Like, you'll get a kick out of it.

Oh, I see, I see. I like that. You'll get a kick out of it. But I really loved It's Contagious because I thought that was a very me thing to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I see a moustache comb, I'm like, I'm just going to buy it. Who cares? I've used that moustache comb plenty of times now.

It makes me happy. It makes me happy. I trim my moustache. Even though I lost our game today on Who Knows You the Best, Babs won it. Sometimes I see things and I go my guy would like it but Angus we went should we get that

that's funny so I can't wait to show it what he kicked out from best and less I look forward to it Jess and Ducko in the morning there's only one show

to wake up with Jess and Ducko you're the only pop show to wake up with. Jess and Darko. You're the only talk show I listen to. The rest are rubbish. Broadcasting live. Jess. His delivery driver

just giving my puss a little pat. Pat it up. Before he heads on his day. Darko. Do you want to see my butt? Nope. You know,

it's hard, you know. Producer Shy Guy. I've got a cereal. Producer Babs. Dog, dog. Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducco. Lights, camera, action.

Howdy, howdy, let's get rowdy. Yeah, right on six o'clock. Welcome to a new week, team. Guys, last day of March. Let's drink it in, soak it in. Lab up, March. It's so nice to be here with you. She came and she went so quickly.

Amen, brother. A thief in the night. Absolutely. I'm suffering today. I've been trying to diagnose what's going on with my wrist arm area, and I think I've landed on it. Kindle wrist. Holding the kindle of an evening.

Oh my god. You're a bit sore. A bit sore. I thought you were going to say maybe you've done gym. I thought this was just your way of telling us what you've been doing in the gym. Here we go. I think I told you I've cancelled all my gym. This week I've had too many eating commitments. I haven't been able to see sweet kind of. But not moving forward. No, no. Once everything settles down. But no, I haven had too many eating commitments. Haven't been able to see sweet kind of. But not moving forward. No, no, no.

Once everything settles down. But no, I haven't been for a while. Once all the food settles down. That's why I sort of was going, what is this injury? Haven't done anything except pick up a fork and bring said fork to mouth. Well, that could be it. Could be fork wrist. You've got fork wrist.

The way you're bending your wrist to get the fork in your mouth. You know everyone's concerned about the teenagers with the tech neck. Yeah, yeah. You got fork wrist. I've got fork wrist. Oh, no. Possibly Kindle wrist. At least you're not eating with your hands.

At least you're using a fork. Very true. I haven't dined in any sort of Ethiopian or any of those cultures where it is traditional to eat with the hands. That's what I'm destined for. How are your wrists? How's your body? Body's good.

Good. Wrist and body feeling good for this Monday. Excellent. It's a bit colder today. It is a bit colder. You're wearing, and I'd love to see it, a branded jumper. Obviously, I'm a company guy. You are good. Good. Wrist and body feeling good for this Monday. Excellent. It's a bit colder today. It is a bit colder. You're wearing, and I love to say, a branded jumper. Obviously, I'm a company guy. You are a company guy.

It was all I had in my bag, so I was bringing it back to work to return it and never look at it again, because my wife's making me kick things out of the house. Oh, that's right. So I'm like, okay, I'll take this one back to work, and then it was actually cold. With two weeks out, nesting must have absolutely gone up another degree. I'm going to tip today. Wow. Get rid of all the excess things.

I love a good trip to the tip. You do. But I don't love the packing in order to get it ready for the tip. I've just traded my utes gone. Oh, my God. That's right. So I don't have the awesome tray. So now you're putting it in just your four-wheel drive.

Which will still fit, but the tray, man. When you go to the tip in a tray. You copped some slack last time you went to the tip. Was it Morgan throwing a stool out and people questioning the goodness of the stool? The thing about Morgan being pregnant is Morgan will still try and do absolutely everything. And if you try and help her, she'll get annoyed. Nothing slowing that woman down. So the other night, we're at dinner, and a friend's like, oh, do you want me to get your chair?

And Morgan's like, no, I'm fine. I was like, hey, hey, you let her do her. Yes. That's the way you just let her. You think you're being polite, but you just got to let her do her. She's not like that. Yeah, yeah. Just let her. Let Morgan do Morgan. So let her's the way you just let her. You think you're being polite, but you just got to let her do her. Yeah, not like that. Yeah, yeah. Just let her.

Let Morgan do Morgan. So let her piff the stools. Yeah. Have you got more stools to throw out or is it other stuff? No, it's pretty much just boxes. Okay. Okay. And they're so annoying taking a bunch of, flattening them.

Absolutely. Is it because your recycling bin is full? So full. Oh, fair enough. And we'd probably need a month on all the boxes we've got. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's so annoying because recycling's fortnight need a month on all the boxes we've got. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

That's so annoying because recycling's fortnightly. I'd love that to be weekly. I know. And it's funny when they did bring in, you know, the bigger bins for recycling, obviously encouraging people to think about it differently. Yeah. We'll pick it up every week. Yeah, do it every week.

And I will think about it differently. 100%. Yeah, yeah. I'll be really sorting through my garbage. And also, the little red bins are just annoying. Oh, they're so annoying. The little bins, I don't know if many other states do it. And it's so funny that even though both of us, I mean, I've got the small baby, but it

doesn't really count. You know, two adults creating garbage. You go, I need more than this. I mean, as we said with Fork Wrist, there's more garbage in your household. You get it. Yeah. Let alone that nappy bin. I can't wait for you to experience nappy bin.

I know. We bought that the other day. We bought one the other day. The one that you twist it and it, like, ties down. You mentioned this. That's some fancy nappy bin. I can't wait for you to experience nappy bin. I know, we bought that the other day. We bought one the other day. The one that you twist it and it like ties down. You mentioned this, that's some fancy nappy bin business. So it just like closes, you put the nappy through it, you twist it and it closes it off and just like puts in like a little ball. You know what, that might be better.

We've got such an issue. With smell? Yeah. We had the babysitter come yesterday, Angus and I went out for lunch and he went, oh God, that's just awful. You know you get immune to smell a bit, but then you think from another outsider's perspective, that's awful. So we packed up the bin, Glen 20'd it, and you could still smell it lingering underneath the Glen 20.

So the babysitter's arrived and she's gone, wow, there's some smells going on. Oh, there's a bit going on. Because he put the fan on full blast thinking it will circulate. It just made it worse. Yeah, it just made it worse. a bit going on. Because he put the fan on full blast thinking it will circulate. It just made it worse. Yeah, it just made it worse. Just poo going everywhere. Like a cocktail of scent. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

I'm hoping that this tying off thing works. Yeah, that feels better. Yeah, and I'm not looking forward to that. But get stocks in Glen Point. We spent like half an hour. What should we get? Opening them, closing them? And you're like, oh.

Or a baby bun, do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. As we got the car seat installed. After we just gave away that $ Like, opening them, closing them. And you're like, oh. Or a baby bunting or something. Yeah, of course. Yeah, as we got the car seat installed. After we just gave away that $1,000 at baby bunting. Would have been good. For your baby registry. Spending $80 on a bin. That would have been nice.

How's your weekend, Shaga? It's good. Went to an engagement party and then met my friend's seven-week-old child. Oh, that's nice. Did you have a hold? Yeah, just a little blob in the arm. I'd imagine you get very frustrated. Like, what is it doing?

It's not doing anything. Yeah. Can it play Nintendo with me yet? Just when it, when she. Yeah. Once it comes out. It's just so easy to do. It.

You don't mean to do it. It's very 2025 of you. They just, they just, just. And I'm always nervous with the neck. Is it going to support the neck? Of course you're going to support the neck. Like, is the head going to fall off if I don't support this right? Yeah. Yes, it will. It just doesn't hold itself up. It's a weird neck. Is it going to support the neck? Of course you've got to support the neck. Is the head going to fall off if I don't support this right? Yes, it will.

It just doesn't hold itself up. It's a weird thing. But it was cool. It was cool. I didn't do anything yesterday. I just chilled. Love that. Refreshed and recharged.

Well, good morning to you, Babs. Good morning. Feeling good? Yeah, feeling pretty good today. Yeah, she's fired up. What was the highlight of your weekend? Oh, yeah. Just one note.

One note. Popcorn and Maltesers. Oh, how good's popcorn and Maltesers? In the same bucket. Has to be. Of course. Yeah. Yeah, I do rate that.

Salt and sweet. Oh, sweet and salty. The best. Very nice. Speaking of sweet and salty, we got 10k for grabs at the Alphabox. That's right. And then we've got my gift baby registry. If you're listening for the crying baby, you can win $1,000 spent at the Iconic.

As we said, it's been pretty amazing for the past fortnight, but I think this week, which is the final week of the registry, we've saved the best for last. Takes the cake. Oh, yeah. Up next, though, I was going to give you this story last week, but we're going to $5 lap dances. We moved on.

We got distracted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bunnings, the layout for Bunnings has been revealed. Yes, there's some thought. Blow my mind. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. You're taking us to everyone's favourite thought. Blow my mind. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. You're taking us to everyone's favourite place.

Tools down or tools up. Or neat tools. Just tools in general. Bunnings Warehouse, baby. You know? Last time I went to Bunnings, I bought a mosaic by numbers kit. So that's what I go to Bunnings for. That's what everyone goes to go to Bunnings.

What was the last thing I got there? I think I got drawers shortened so they could fit into my new cupboard when we were redoing glasses. Oh, hello, yes. Something like that. Anything you need to do, that's where you go. There was one young guy, he basically had no answers. He just kept saying, like, ask Debbie.

And Debbie was the one who could sort me out with everything, but Debbie was busy because he basically put ten people under Debbie. Debbie had a queue. Debbie had a queue. Got a lot of Bunnings though. But there's one Aussie's theory about Bunnings, the hardware giant, and it's designed for the store layout, which is leaving thousands and thousands of people astounded.

So she said this will make navigating Bunnings easier, and it's blown my mind. So she's a property investor. She obviously posted this online. She's recently visited the store 18 times in 11 days. Oh, damn. That's a lot of visits. That's multiple visits a day. This is in rural Victoria. It's in Ballarat.

She noticed that two of the stores that she frequented had a mind-blowing detail which she then said confirmed after speaking to a staff member. I will play you the theory about the Bunnings layout. All of the aisles are in order of building a house. So it starts with timber and then I guess we go to plumbing,

and then flooring, and then electrical, and then paint, and then landscaping, all in the order that you would do the things. And then tool shop's in the middle. Isn't that incredible? Tool shop's always in the middle. I knew that. Did you? Hang on a minute.

Where does my paint by mosaic, mosaic by numbers fit into that? That's got to be down the end. Once the house is built, you do your hobbies inside your house. That makes a lot of sense. I mean, 13, 10, 16, if you're a tradie and you think this is not correct, or it is correct, and you go all the time, because it does make sense. If you go on Bunnings and you look to the right, it'll start there with the timber.

All the way down to the left where it ends up with like the outside. Hang on. There's some, but now is every store the same? Because I swear one that I've been to, one of the ends is like kitchen sinks and appliance stuff. Yeah, that's true. Have I made? They've been all the same for the most part.

For the most part. But I swear on one end that I've been to, there were sinks. Are all Bunnings insides the same? Because, I mean, I've been to one inner city, Sydney. Oh, the smaller ones? It's almost like a little metro. You've got Woolies Metro. We were looking for donuts, not food.

Swimming apparatus. Oh, right. And it came up Bunnings would sell them. They're just crammed in. Everything's just in there. But I guess the giant ones. It's like a local IGA. It's just crammed in. Everything's just in there. But I guess the giant ones. It's like a local IGA. It's just all in there.

That's all in there. You hope for the best. Yeah. Depends on what kind of store. There's the warehouse store, which is the big ones. Yeah. And then there's also small format stores. Oh, so maybe your warehouse is like that.

Regular warehouses always have to be the same, right? Surely. And they're usually the big ticket ones that you go into. So that makes it so much easier. Instead of bugging the people in the red shirt, you go, right, well, what am I up to? I'm up to lighting. Where would that be? But then people like you and me, or anyone in this team, building a house in the order.

I'd be like, hmm, building a house. If I was building a house, I think I'm starting with choosing the sink. So I'm going to go over there. I'm choosing the nice tapway. Oh, that's true. For anyone not at that stage. How would we know? How would we know? All I know is there's timber and. I'm choosing a nice tapway. Yeah, that's true. For anyone not at that stage. How would we know? How would we know?

All I know is there's timber and there's grass on either end. Yes, yes. Timber and outdoor. Jess and Daco. Love to pop over to Japan. An absolute pleasure. God, your landings are just getting smoother and smoother. I'm getting good on it.

I know. Particularly in Japan. Your hours under the belt. It was a feeling in Japan. When I see Mount Fuji, I know. Let's drop down. The runways of Japan are your friend. Oh, yeah.

It's great to be here. It's always good. And we're here for you, my friend. Are we? It's fitness. The Japanese have come up with a groundbreaking, yes, I quote, groundbreaking news walking technique. Well, I did bring you some walking gear the other week about how we're not walking properly.

You did? Because, you know, you were walking heavy footed. We were saying that's bad on the joints. Mongo-esque. You need to be a bit more like me and you've got to go heel tight. Heel tight. Well, to that I add what the Japanese have discovered. Yeah. Two times more health benefits than getting 10,000 steps.

Now, remember we debunked 10,000 steps. Yes. Again, out of Japan, it was just a watch company that had the pedometer function. And they thought 10,000 sounds sexy. It sounds doable. Yes. Again, out of Japan, it was just a watch company that had the pedometer function. And they thought 10,000 sounds sexy. It sounds doable. It sounds achievable. So we're just going to throw that out marketing-wise.

And people latched onto it globally. It really did take fire, yeah. But there's actually no proven benefit for 10,000 per se. No. But the Japanese want you to forget about that. They've come up with something new. Ah, here we go. I wonder in 25 years if they'll now debunk this, being like, it was another marketing thing.

Yeah. But I saw it on the very reliable source of Instagram, so we're going to run with it. You never know what's real and what's not. Interval walking training, or IWT. Oh. They are saying this is how we should all be walking. So as of today, guys, I want you to go forth.

Stop walking like your normal selves. I'll stop being Mongo. You stop being the gingerbread man. Yeah. They want you to do three minutes of slow walking, maybe a comfortable pace, your normal pace. Yeah. But then three minutes of fast walking. Oh, you pace it up.

So you pace it up. So you're just trying to get down the street to the shops. You run out of milk. Three minutes, normal. But then three minutes. Just zone in. Kind of almost speed walking. There's always three minutes or is it just any time you want? They want you to do three minutes But then three minutes. Just zone in. Kind of almost speed walking. There's always three minutes or is it just any time you want?

They want you to do three minutes on, three minutes off. Three on, three off. Three minutes on, three minutes off. So if your journey's longer than six minutes, you'll do an interval, baby. So if you're going for your hot girl walk, you can't just dawdle. If you're going with your matcha latte and your girlfriends. And the six of you are taking up the entire footpath. In matching fits, obviously.

Obviously. In different pastels. Yep. Three minutes on, three minutes off. One of you is going to have to be the timekeeper. Okay. I don't think you can just feel, you can flesh it out. Yeah, yeah.

Get the Apple Watch on that. They are saying four times improvement in blood pressure, 40% reduced risk of stroke, reduced depression. You're walking like an idiot, but it'll reduce your depression. Is it basically just because you're getting the endorphins for me a bit more because you're getting faster, higher heart rate? They're saying it's harder than walking. It's more intense than walking.

You should still be able to have a conversation on your hot girl walk. And we've all got different quick walks. Like, are we talking Olympic standard walking? Like the walking race. Like Kath and Kim, you know, or Kel, you know, like, are we talking that? Or are we talking just a brisker walk? The example that the Japanese team have given us, brisk pace, like you are late for a meeting. Well, we need to see someone demo this.

Oh, Babs, get up. Babs, come on. You're our resident walker in the team. Hang on. I want to see like a fast-paced, brisk walk pass, and then when you come back, I want to see Olympic standard walking. Yeah, so we can see the difference. And then I'm going to ask you about your depression and which one cured it more.

Here she goes. Oh, see, that was too slow for me. That wasn't brisk like you're late for a meeting. Oh, that was a bit quicker. What was that? I want to see Olympic standard now. Olympic standard. Yeah, wiggle those hips.

Look at those shoes. Don't act like you don't know. We've all watched the walking. Yeah, the walking in the Olympics. What? That was the slowest walk I've ever... Have you not seen the walking... Oh, now she's running.

Now jump on, Mike. You'd be a yellow card disqualified. Now jump... Yeah, I think both feet off the ground at one point. Yeah. Now tell me about your depression. Yeah. Is it cured?

Do you feel good? Okay. She's just nodding. You can go back to your mic. Are you puffed? Are you good? Yeah, that was hard. There wasn't much difference between your slow walking and your fast walking.

But at least it was joint-friendly, time-efficient, and scientifically proven to work. Okay. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on Hit Alpha Bucks. Yes, indeed. Welcome to Monday. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass. We'll come back, of course, if there's time. We're playing for $10,000 and our first cab off the rank for this beautiful week. It's the one and only. It's Matty. Hello, Matt. How you going, guys?

Oh, Matt, we couldn't be better. We have an opportunity to change your, what, year? Oh, life. Life. Love that. Life. What would $10,000 do for you, Matt? Oh, I've got to get my car fixed.

That'll change your life. What an annoying expense. Yeah. So let's take some of the pressure off, Matt. Must be a big fix. The full 10K's got him to that bad boy. Yeah, what was it, like a write-off? Well, it can't be a write-off if you want to fix it,

but what's wrong with it? My son sort of pranged into a fence and dented the side, and now there's water sloshing around inside the door. Oh, damn him. Yeah, yeah. My son's sort of pranged into a fence. Yeah. I've been telling Dad that story.

Yeah. So, Dad, the fence came at me. Yeah. I was still. I wasn't looking at my phone. I So, Dad, the fence came at me. Yeah. I was still. I wasn't looking at my phone. I wasn't speeding. The fence didn't indicate. The fence wouldn't let me merge.

I had to get in. Matt, I don't want you to freak out when you hear the letter. We don't see it often, but there's only so many words that start with the letter Y. And that's what you're going to work with, okay? Y. Yep. Sounds great. That's a great attitude. Love that, Matt. Your time will start after the first question. You ready? Yep. Alright, starting with the letter

Y. We need you to name a cartoon character. Yosemite Sam. A country. Yugoslavia. An adverb. Yellowish. A brand. Path. A hobby. Yoga.

An animal. Path. A board game. Yachty. An occupation. Yachtsman. A food. Yellow squash.

A period of time. Year. A brand. Hot period of time. Year. A brand. Hot damn, some great answers. Some great answers. Some really creative answers there. Yes! We ended up with, on my count, seven.

Seven of the best. Seven of the best. An adverb. I think you ended it with an I-S-H. Yeah. It needs to be I-L-Y. It's a word that describes a verb. A verb, doing a verb.

Yes. I don't think we can describe running as a young age. So like youthfully or yummily, which is like... Is that a word? Is that even a word? Yearningly. Tough one. Tough.

Everything else was great, though. A brand could have been Yeti or Yamaha, an animal, a yellowfin tuna or a yak. Everything else you answered, you got correct. And, look, you don't go empty-handed. Matt won't fix the car, but we are giving you $100 cash just for playing. Matt, spectacular. Thanks very much. Thank you, Matt. Thanks for the car, but we are giving you $100 cash just for playing. Matt, spectacular. Thanks very much. Thank you, Matt.

Thanks for joining the show. Jess and Ducco. 131060, have you come up with a great idea? Yep. Whilst sourced, whilst slightly buzzed, whilst drunk. Yeah. Friend of mine, Ducco, I've got to give credit to her drunk brain. Now, she wasn't fall over drunk.

She was just had had a few drinks with the girls, was feeling very merry. Yeah. And went, I'm going to message that dude I've been swiping with. I've been messaging on Tinder. Okay. She's a single lady. Right. And so she messages him and goes.

Judy calls. Judy calls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that time of the evening. That's that time of the evening that your girlfriends just can't satisfy. That four becomes a ten. Amen. Yeah.

So this is the thing. She's been having some decent banter with this bloke, and she says, E, what are you doing? He's active, and he says nothing. Do you want to come past? She went, perfect. Yes, I do. Giddy up. She rolls into his house.

Well, to his house. Knocks on the door. He opens the door. And she went, you've clearly used very, very, very old photos in your profile. You are not. You might be who you said you are on the profile. Are we talking like a decade? Yeah, she reckons 10 to 15.

So what's the looking difference? Are we talking weight? Age was the big one. Weight was the big one. Just overall demeanour. Okay. She described him as rolling out wearing a wife beater, the manky footy shorts, some pluggers.

Just not what she had in mind based on the chat she'd had and the pictures she'd seen. So she sort of has, you know. Because she's there at his house. She's there at his house. And she's gone in that moment, Ducko, should we go to the pub for a drink? You want to keep this night going instead of just coming in, which I think was the original plan.

Should we go for a drink? That's what comes out of her mouth. And he goes, yeah, right. Give me a second. Got to go get my wallet. Because that's what she thought. He's going to need. He's going to put his going out pluggers on.

Maybe get changed. Get the keys. Get the wallet. Get something. He's gone, give me a sec. I'll go get my wallet. Get my keys. He's turned around, walked back into his house.

And she ran away. She pulled a runner. No. Oh, man. And she was telling this story to us group of girls when we were out the other night, and one of the girls was like, imagine he's just, the keys were right there on the side table. He's turned around and just seen her absolutely legging it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never pulled a runner on another human.

I've pulled various runners on other things when I was younger, but I've never pulled a runner on another human. Can you imagine being face to face? They turn their back for a second and your brain goes, run, leg it. Go, go, go, go. And she couldn't make it to the pub because that was a decent, and she thought if he follows me in that. So where did she hide? Where did she go?

Behind a shrub. Yeah, I was going to say. She's just in suburbia now. She's just in a suburban shrub down the street. And she watched him like coming out being like, where did she go? Well, no, he texted her or DMed whatever you do on Tinder and was like, hey, are you okay? And she blocked him and never replied. Yeah, 100%.

Oh, poor guy. Here he was thinking his high-vis fishing photos have actually got him some. He snagged one. He was wearing his good rugby shorts, his good wife beater. It had no stains on it and his good pluggers. Well, he thought she's going to come in and all that would come off, if you know what I'm saying. But in that moment, we all went, babe,

how good is your brain slightly sourced to go, I need to create a diversion. I need to create a distraction. I need to run. I need to get his eyeballs off me so I can leg it. I just thought that was so brilliant for her drunk brain. I mean, I'd love to go on 131060, like, have you ever pulled a runner? Do you know what's funny?

That's what one of the girls batted up because obviously I went, I've got to write that down. And someone said, do have you run away? Yeah, have you run away? Have you ever pulled a runner? Let's do both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever run away? Yeah.

Or genuinely just gone, nah. I'll see you later. And legged it. Maybe not from a date. Yeah, it could be. Just maybe from a scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Situation.

Or, yeah, have you been slightly sourced, slightly drunk, and come up with a brilliant idea? Because the problem is I've come up with plenty of brilliant ideas slightly sourced. I just don't remember them. Yeah, fair. That's why you've got to film yourself 24-7. Yeah, totally. Future Ducco, write this down. It's going to make us millions.

We're talking have you pulled a runner. Have you pulled a runner? It can go either way, do you find, Ducco, when your mates go, I've got something for you for the radio, and then you have to sit there and listen to their lame story. My dad's a fiend for it. Oh, yeah. And then half the time, oh, I give you a gold.

Yeah, yeah. Girlfriend of mine. I find when they don't want it on the radio, it's gold. Yeah, true. That's why I was nervous about this one when she said, Jess, I've got something for you. I went, all right, hit me. Single lady, had a night with the girls, a little bit sourced. And she went, I think we're going to finally go meet up with that bloke I've been chatting to on Tinder.

He looked good. He looked good. He looked young. He looked sprightly. Looks like my kind of fella. And I'm a single lady. I've got, you know, no obligations to anyone else. So she says, can I come over?

He went, abso-fricking-lutely. Here's my address. She knocks on the door. It might have been the same guy from the photos, but it certainly wasn't the same decade of the photos having been shared. Hadn't updated his Tinder. Between 10 to 15 years, she reckons, he just was not the kind of guy she wanted to spend the rest of her evening with.

So she said- He was going to get her a tour of VB, though. Probably. I think he might have had one in his hand. And she went, instead of that, why don't we go to the pub down the road? Do you need to grab your keys or your wallet or maybe put on some actual clothes? And he went, all right, give me a second. As he turned his back, she legged it.

And I just table erupted, just ran away from him. And hid behind a bush. And then hid behind a bush. He texted her going, are you okay? Thinking, oh, she had a toilet emergency or what's happened? She's been abducted. She did not reply and blocked him on Tinder. So to that bloke, we say valet and sorry.

Imagine who's listening right now being like, wait, that's me. Hang on, that sounds like what happened to me. That was my weekend. Well, then to him I say, update your pictures. You know, don't be catfishing ladies. Catfishing is a strong word. Mark, you can catfish with your own pictures from 15 years earlier. Mark, good morning.

Good morning. Have you run away? Oh, I definitely did. What happened? I went out with a couple of friends and all that, and then come to the end of the night, they wanted to keep going on, and I didn't. And then this one random bloke kept following me around.

He was, like, trying to get me to go out and that. And I'm like, oh, yeah, right. And then he ducked into it. He goes, look, I'll go and get a pack of smokes from a servo. As soon as he went in there, I was gone. How good's that? I took off across the road, back through a motel when I'm like waiting for my mate to come and pick me up, take me home.

How good's that? I love that. Just running away from your mates who wanted to keep kicking on. I'll get a smoke. Yeah, get me a pack of Winnie Reds. Yeah, yeah. I'm out of here. Mark Hooks.

Bye. Bye. Christian on 131060. Christian, have you pulled a runner? I have. You don't seem proud of it, Christian. What happened? I still feel guilty some 30 years later.

Okay. Perfect. 17, nearly 18, the old under 18s, and it was a sexy time. It had looted me for a little while. And through a mutual friend, there was a girl that I knew, and she was very keen and was all arranged to meet her on the dance floor and then would duck out, jump in the car, and go off and have some relations. And I've gone in, and boys have gone one way,

I've sort of gone the other way towards the dance floor. And as I've got there and it was no, she'd gone to a bit of effort, but jeans and a lacy teddy and let's just say it wasn't smoke on it, it didn't feel like a muffin. So I sort of got there and said, look, all good. I'm just going to go say goodbye to the boys and I'll be back. And let's say I didn't even get back to pick up the boys later on. There was no being back.

But your friends knew this girl, so did it ever be like, what happened to Christian? I saw him. There he goes. It got a little bit more difficult a couple months later when one of the boys started going out with her. No, no. No, no.

Please tell me they got married and you had to be a best man at the wedding. Oh, no. Let's just say I stopped hanging out with that fella as well. Hey, that's that guy. Pull a runner on me. No, it's not different, Christian. Oh, Christian. Oh, that's funny, Christian.

What a runner. At 30 years, he still feels guilty. Thank you, mate. And we'll finish off here with Sue on 131060. You did a runner, Sue. Oh, actually, yes, I did. Okay, what happened? Look, I was heavily pregnant in Sydney.

On my way home with my husband, and I just had bad stomach pains. And we walked into a chemist because I thought well what can I take I don't know what I can take I don't know what it is and we're just standing there right up near the front ready to have a bit of a chat and I let one rip and it was a beauty and it's done so I just took off out of the chemist and ran back to the house. Just ran off on your husband. Leave him with the stink to deal with that. I left him there to deal with what he was going to get. Sue just let it out.

She was like, oh, God. She hooks it out of the chemist. You're pulling a runner from your own fart. Is that what we're saying here, Sue? Absolutely. People are pulling runners from other people. Sue's pulling a runner from her own fart. Jess and Ducco.

As you know, Morgan, jeez, man, not next Monday, the Monday after. We're off. Any time from now, really. I'm feeling something in my waters, Ducco. Yeah, it's going to come early. I don't know why. I don't know why I think that. How are you guys feeling? I feel a bit the same. Maybe not this week, it's going to come early. I don't know why. I don't know why I think that. How are you guys feeling?

I feel a bit the same. Maybe not this week, but possibly next week. Yes. Anyway, we're two weeks out from Breach Day, from D-Day. From D-Day. Now, our obstetrician, we met with them last week, and our midwife basically said, our obstetrician does something called hands on hands.

I said, what's that? Because she asked, you know the classic thing is when your wife's in labour and all the guys go, don't look down, whatever. But I'm way too curious to not, as if I'm not going to see that. And you don't know what this journey holds for you. This might be the only time. Exactly. You're going to miss the miracle of.

It's incredible. Absolutely. And I've had a lot of mates, some mates say, yeah, I did. It's hectic, but it's cool. I've had a mate say, don't do it. You know, you've got to see it for yourself. I think so. Do whatever you want to do. And You know, you've got to see it for yourself. I think so. Do whatever you want to do.

And she said, well, yeah, our obstetrician, Malcolm, he offers this thing called hands on hands. I'm like, well, what is that? I've never heard of that. I put on the gloves, Jess, which I immediately said, well, yeah, I'm scrubbing up. Ducko puts on the gloves. The duck man's scrubbing in, if you will. Yeah.

Okay. I put on the gloves and I go down, down south of the equator. Where Malcolm will be. Where he is, where my obstetrician will be. And I guide the baby out of Morgan while he has his hands on my hands slash guiding me and telling me what to do. So the hands on hands refers to you and the obstetrician. Correct. But you're the one touching the baby.

I'm the one. He's basically like, okay, so put your hand there. Now guide it out and do that. And I'm the one. He's basically like, okay, so put your hand there. Now glide it out and do that. And I'm like. Do you know at what point of evacuation you get, like, is it shoulders are out, then daddy comes in? I have no idea. I wonder.

So we've got another appointment today, so I'll go and ask a bit more. But I'm picturing. How do you go with, like, blood and guts and stuff? I'm usually fine. Yep. But seeing my wife's area like that and seeing this could be a completely different story for me

How many stories have we heard about the partner passing out and then the big joke of oh yeah you were the one in distress

when she's pushing out a kiss You can't have that a part of your story I can't I don't want that I don't want to enjoy the body

and how beautiful it is but like at the same time Wow So I'm picturing We were not offered that No I'm picturing it like Patrick Swayze in Ghost. Oh, that's why you told me to watch Ghost over the weekend.

Correct. So the obstetrician's behind me moulding the sculpture. He's dead, Patrick. You're Demi Moore. So I'm Demi Moore. I'm calling you Demi Moore from now on. He's Patrick Swayze and my wife is the clay. Well, the baby's the clay. The baby's the clay.

She's the spinning wheel. She's the spinning wheel. What do they call her? She's the spinning wheel, the baby's the clay. The potter's clay. She's the spinning wheel. She's the spinning wheel. What do they call her? She's the spinning wheel. The baby's the clay. The potter's wheel. And we're getting her out. Yeah.

It's a pretty. Oh, hang on a minute. All last week we were doing what songs should we put on the push playlist. Yes. We need the. Oh, my love. Isn't that the song from. Yes.

Oh, my love. My darling. Yeah, we do need that. A hunger for. I mean, I don't know if anyone's done this. And by all means, 13, 10, 60, if love. My darling. Yeah, we do need that. A hunger for shots. I mean, I don't know if anyone's done this. And by all means, 13, 10, 60, if you have done this and it was a good idea and or bad idea. Yes. What a way to be involved.

I'm pretty excited for that in that regard, but I'm also nervous that I'm biting off more than I can chew here. Fair enough. Like, in those final moments, even though I had an epidural, I needed Angus there with me. At the head. Because your hands aren't numb. Well, at least mine weren't. Angus was there with me, whatever. And then at the final minute, our OB went, you can come and catch her.

But I'm pretty sure she was out at this point. Yeah, right. And then Angus swooped in. No, so he's just guiding it out of the canal. He's just guiding it out. Yeah, Mitch has called in and he said, why would you do that and see your happy place ruined? Now, there's a few of those guys saying that,

don't look down, yada, yada. I'm going to look down regardless. What does Morgan think of this? She's just laughing. She's like, if you want to do it, do it. Like, it's up to you. Like, she's like, I know you, and I know you'll want to look down anyway.

Exactly, so you may as well get involved. Katie's called in on 131060. Katie, your husband did the hands-on hands. Yeah, he did. It was very spontaneous and, yeah, it was really something special. It was our third baby and he delivered him and put him straight up on my chest. So it was, yeah, really special. Wow.

So, Katie, when you say spontaneous, had he not heard about this but in the moment the obstetrician went, hey, mate, come down here? Yeah, well, it was our little boy decided to come four weeks early. And, yeah, it was, everything was fine. He delivered fine. And we had two girls already, and this was another surprise baby. So, surprise gender, sorry. And, yeah, so they just said, would you like to help? This is where the only difference between your husband and my husband, so, or surprise gender, sorry, and yeah, so they just said, would you like to help?

This is where the only difference between your husband and my husband, Katie, is that he's had two cracks at it before, right? So he's been in there before. Absolutely. So third time, he kind of knows this. Because even, I'd argue, Katie just said he grabbed the baby and put it, bro, I had no idea how to hold the baby. No, yeah, I don't want to do that.

As soon as it came out. Imagine you're the first one, and then you're having to maneuver her onto Morgan's chest. That would actually be really daunting. Let alone the cord. I know. I know. And I'm already, you guys know I'm nervous about my left-handed scissors. I'm bringing my own scissors to cut the cord.

You know that. So, now, Katie. Please make sure you bring Dettol. Make sure they've sterilized your left-handed scissors. Now, Katie, I know you were going through a lot, obviously. But was it like, seeing your husband and the obstetrician, was like the scene from Ghost? Was it beautiful?

It wasn't like from Ghost, but it was very, it was, um, it was extremely special. Very, very special. Okay. Wow. See, it's a big, I'm like, I'm still nervous about it, but I'm gonna, I said to Morgan, I was like, do you reckon I can go in and practice with him? And Morgan's like, what?

What, with another lady? No, no. I just want him behind me, chest on chest. Oh, guiding. And we're just guiding. We just practice. Nothing can prepare you for the intensity of that moment, though. Yeah, I know. I know.

What if you drop, what if she slips out of your hands? They're slippery, man. They're covered in food. Hey, support me, hands on handsing. I do support you. You don't back me in, hey. You don't back me in. Don't.

I'm sorry. I don't know if I back me in either, to be honest. I love it for how good the story will be afterwards. Yeah, it'd be great gear. But. Yeah, I'm nervous. But please make sure you put the ghost song on your playlist. Jess and Ducko.

Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. This is where Ducko and I are going to try and outbid each other. Couple of bids. To rattle off some topics under a category that Shy Guy will give us. No playing it safe today. Nah. We're going to swing today.

We've got to swing. Even if he bats up Anne Hathaway movies again. None of these three, four Salinas. We're going to go double digis. You know how many Anne Hathaway movies I thought of after we left? Me too. Always the way. That's why it's a good question, guys.

First category. First category today. Hotel chains. Oh. Hotel chains. I used to work at a hotel. Yeah, you should know. So I should know a few.

You should know. Seven. Nine. Good luck. Oh, crap. Okay. Go on. The Grand Hyatt. The Hilton. The Ibis. Seven. Nine. Good luck. Oh, crap. Go on.

The Grand Hyatt, the Hilton, the Ibis, the Holiday Inn, the Little National, the Ridges, the Crown Plaza, the Sofitel. That's eight. The Intercontinental. Ah, yes. And the Four Seasons were fun. There you go.

I would not have been able to do that. Thank you. I'd have been like, Ibis, Holiday Inn? That's got to be a shout-out to Rob Fart on the wonderful holidays we went on as a family. Right. Yes. I'd be like, Airbnb? Yeah. Okay.

That was some chains I hadn't even heard of. Yeah, yeah. All right, next one. Beer brands. Oh, jeez. I'll take global beer brands. Yeah, sure. I'm just going to take Australian.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going global weird brands. We're just going to take Australian. I'm going to go 8. 10? 11? 12. Yeah, good. Thank God. All I need to do to win the point is rattle off one if you don't say it.

But 12 from the Duckman. Oh, goodness. Go. 4X, 2E's, Carlton, Young Henry's, Burley, Big Coast. Oh, my goodness. They're all escaping me. Six. Oh, jeez.

I just did a horrible of that. Corona? Corona. My goodness. Pacifico Asahi? Six Oh jeez I just did a horrible Of that Corona Corona My goodness Pacifico Asahi What I was about to say You didn't You didn't say Your own

Backyard Being a Frenchman Stella Artois How could you not Say Stella Artois I didn't say anything At least you said Forex

I didn't say They've all come to me now Man that just Heineken also Look it's not been my day My weenus has Pressed a button And fired off the match You're rattled over there Whereas I can't say, they've all come to me now. Man, that's just. Heineken also. Look, it's not been my day. My weenus has pressed a button and fired off some ads. Yeah, you're rattled over there. Whereas I can't do anything when there's technical difficulties.

I'm not firing. Okay, all right. Jeez, that's embarrassing for the beer. They're all coming to me now. You're a wine man in your old age. It's all right. You moved away from the beer. I was trying to go through bottle shops in my head of like beer.

I couldn't even, that was just blank. Just blank. What about the Tsingtao? Angus likes a Tsingtao. Yeah, Tsingtao. All right. If you get this next one, Jess, you will win the game. Sure.

We'll take it to the table. I can try again. Lady Gaga songs. No, I'm going to butcher this. We played one ten minutes ago. I know. I'm going to say five. Well, then I'm going to have to say six. Yeah, seven. I'm going to say five. Well, then I'm going to have to say six.

Yeah, seven. I'm going to have to say eight. Can you do more than eight? This is what I want to know because I don't reckon I could. So... Crap. Yeah, let's see eight. Abracadabra, Just Dance, Poker Face, Paparazzi, Applause, The Hair, Hair, Alejandro, um...

Die With A Smile! Oh, what is that song? With Bruno Mars! Will you accept a collaboration? I'm not sure on Hair. I'll accept a collaboration. Hair, I'm pretty sure there's a Hair. Is Hair Little Mix?

I'm as free as my head. I want a Hair by Lady Gaga. Yep, done. Oh, bang. Bang, bang, bang. Lady Gaga. I wouldn't have done that. I would not have been able to get that.

You would have got Alejandro. Alejandro and Abracadabra because we just played it. That's what I would have got. Maybe Poker Face, one of our OGs. Maybe. Oh, absolutely. Great song. That was a pantsing today.

Joe and the Smiles with Bruno Mars. Yes. Yeah. We played that for a minute. We did. And I'm glad we're not. Abracadabra is much better. Much better.

We're testing out a new sort of game. I guess it is. It was only a once-off. It's a one-off. It's a one-off per person. It's a four-week route, yeah. But, I mean, I guess we'll see how today's goes. It could die right here.

Yeah, it could. Usually we beta test games in the podcast, but I just had this idea. Maybe because I'm thinking about you going on leave very soon, Ducko. You're going to miss me. I'm going to miss you, and I think I want to leave a good taste in your mouth. What are you going to miss most? Let's all go around the room.

The lols, man. The banter. Side note, we will be doing a handover with the person taking over Ducko's chair. Next week. Next week. You can meet him and Ducko give him some advice maybe. Yeah. But I think maybe I'm just thinking about you going, albeit for a short amount of time.

I want to leave a good taste in your mouth. Remember your team fondly and how well we know you, how well we get along. So I've come up with a little challenge for Shy Guy Babs and myself. To make up a scenario and pitch this scenario to you, one that you would absolutely hate. So let's see where all our minds go when we think about, oh, the duck man would hate to be in this scenario. And the one that I hate the most means that you've known me the best. We know you the best.

Okay, all right. Shy Guy, would you like to kick things off? Sure, I'll go first. So your favourite band is Rufus. Yes. Yep. So let's just say you get to kick things off? Sure, I'll go first. So your favourite band is Rufus. Yes. Yep. So let's just say you get to go to one of their shows and future prediction, like you know it's a good show,

it's the best show you'll ever see. Yeah. After you go to the show, you're deaf. Do you still go to the show? Wait, wait, wait, wait. That's an ultimatum. That's the ultimatum. So being put in that predicament. I can go to the show, it's the best show ever and I hear it. So you go to the show, it's the best show ever and you love it, you, wait. That's an ultimatum. That's the ultimatum. Being put in that predicament.

I can go to the show, it's the best show ever, and I hear it. So you go to the show, it's the best show ever, and you love it, and you hear it. But as soon as you walk out of those doors, you're deaf. It's going to be a real issue for my job if I'm deaf. So you don't have to answer that. I see. That's the scenario. Okay, that's a tough one.

That's a thought scratcher. It's a tough one. Doesn't seem to like it. Jeez. So you've hit the brief edge. Let's see where Babs' mind goes. Okay. You're stuck in a golf tournament and you can't leave unless you get a hole in one.

All you can eat while you were there is Neapolitan ice cream. And you're only allowed to go to the toilet every two hours. There is no cell phone service, so you can't text or watch Instagram reels. And I hope I get this right. Hilltop Hoods is playing really loudly out of the speaker the whole time. The same song over and over again. I like Hilltop Hoods. I thought you hated them.

Someone doesn't know him very well. That sounds like a horrible day. We'll just erase the end of that. Try to get a hold of one. It could never happen. While eating the apportioned ice cream. I would be pooing my pants all the time. These are all very good guys.

I thought I'll have you in the, like, to be honest, I made this game because I'm like, I'm going to wipe the floor with you. But you've both done very well. And we've gone very different angles. For the duck man. This is a scenario I think would be your worst nightmare. You receive an email with the greeting, hey champion. But it's someone from the events team at your

beloved Brisbane Broncos. So when they ask you to MC their end of year gala, which I'm pretty sure is very common for NRL teams, you agree to do it because you want to be a part of the event. You can look past the hey champion. You do all this prep. You write out a big script. Put in all this effort. All this time.

But on the night, there's been a mix-up, and you and another bloke have been booked to MC. You don't know where the wires have been crossed, but another person thinks they're doing the same job. He's done all this prep as well, so it's not like one of you can just riff. It's like, well, no, I'm going to do it. No, I'm going to do it. You also find out he's being paid more than you,

and then you see a picture of his dog, and his dog's quads are bigger than Pam's. Oh, jeez. So does he do it, or do I do it, you also find out he's being paid more than you, and then you see a picture of his dog, and his dog's quads are bigger than Pam's. Oh, jeez. So does he do it, or do I do it? Well, this is the scenario. You're left wondering how you're going to sort this out. Who gets to have that position? They're all really bad scenarios. For the duck man, absolutely.

I'm trying to think of the one that I would find the worst. You know what I mean? Because I feel like, at least I'm still getting paid for the Broncos gig. It might not be as much. It would be horrible. But pooing my pants in Neapolitan ice cream while trying to hit a hole in one sounds like pretty average day out. Wow.

I thought you're trapped on the golf course. You would love that regardless of the... It depends which player shows up. You just never know with me. Are you telling me Babs has... I mean, it's just the... You've got a hole in one before. I have got a hole in one before, yeah. Well, hole in par.

But yes, I have. Yeah, yeah. I've got the ball in the hole in one shot. Correct. What are you locking in as Ducko's worst scenario? This is hard because no one wants to be deaf. Yeah, I got you with the deaf balls. It's a bit of a tough situation. I feel like these are two realistic situations. That's a bit of a tough situation. I feel like these are two realistic situations. That one's just like a...

Would you take her out after the gig? I don't know. For some reason, my gut is saying the ice cream and the golf is the worst. Your gut is reacting to that story. It just makes me feel... Okay. Whereas the Broncos thing would really... It would, because I know how much effort you put into your events.

It would annoy me a lot. I know how much you put into your friends. Imagine that times 10 for your beloved Brisbane Broncos. But it's not pulling your pants on a golf course. That's fair. Well done, Bad Sticks. That's right. We are building a push playlist for Morgan and Ducko to welcome their baby girl into this world.

Yeah, yeah. Mate, T-minus two weeks. Yes. Unbelievable. Crazy, crazy. Mate, T minus two weeks. Yes. Unbelievable. Crazy, crazy. To think we are here, but it's only at about three hours. And we just don't think that is long enough to not be annoying if we need to go back to the top.

Keep looping it. Hey, man, Labor could be shorter. Most likely we'll be longer. Yes, yeah. So we want it to be at least four. Exactly, four hours. So text the text line 048881069. Get your request in for the Push Players.

As I said, we'll just keep doing this sporadically, randomly over the next few days. We see all your songs. Absolutely. I love this pop banger from Nicholas Ducco. Yeah. He wants you to put on Bring It All Back, S Club 7. Nicholas.

That's not bad. You know, like on paper I'd be like, no, but when you hear it. It's just a feel good. Bit of fun. What about this one from Melissa? What's she say? A Rob Thomas. Yeah.

Little wonders. Oh, I couldn't have told you this was called Little Wonders. No, I couldn't have told you it was Rob and not Matchbox 20. Yeah, it does. It feels very, yeah. I like this one. This is from Stacey, good friend of the show. She said, you know that relax, don't do it,

when you want to go through it. Is that a Zoolander tune? Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Zoolander soundtrack. You could pop that on there if you like. Don't do it. That's a bit of fun. Someone just sent the Spotify link to a Little Mix song. Don't hate it. There you go.

That's fun. I'm thinking S-Club's in there. Unsure about Little Mix. It could be. Rob Thomas, perhaps. How dare you? They won UK's X Factor however long ago. What I do is I take these all home to Morgan. I go, hey, here's today's suggestions, and she says yay or nay. Of course. She's the final say.

I'll take them to the boss. I'll take them to the boss. I love that. Keep them coming through. 0488881069. Or you can always DM on Instagram. As I was saying, we were playing it over the weekend. But then the issue was Morgan was like, don't play it too much because I don't want to get used to it.

Like, I want it to be special. Absolutely. And it's such a great tactic. You know, there are so many pain management techniques. You know, you can get the TENS machine that sends the electric pulse up your spine. You can have a comb that you squeeze in your hand. It's meant to distract you. Baths, showers, the big yoga ball.

Each new song will hopefully, even if it's just for a few seconds, a few breaths, take Morgan out of her body and into just listening. See, exactly. And it might give her a minute to catch her breath. Yeah, and just chill. Could actually really be helpful. There were some songs, though. It's a real, it's a huge mix, exactly. And it might give her a minute to catch her breath. Yeah, and just chill. Could actually really be helpful. There were some songs, though. It's a real, it's a huge mix, though.

It's very eclectic. It's such a big mix. You should chuck in a bit of country. I know she doesn't like it, but at least it would snap her out to being like, what is this? Who did this? She'll forget about the pain of the contraction. Yeah, so true.

Turn it up, turn it up. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. Alphabucks. Oh, yeah. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice.

And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000 for this beautiful Monday. Our player is Steve. Hello, Steve. Hey, how you going? Oh, Steve, we couldn't be better. Are you Steve. Hey, how are you going? Oh, Steve, we couldn't be better. Are you ready to take $10,000 off us?

Yes, absolutely. Come on. Excellent attitude. How do you normally go at the game, Steve? Oh, yeah, not too bad. I'm pretty gone on most of them. Okay. Okay.

I'm confident. What do you want to do with the money? Pay some bills. Like, the wife and I have just moved house, and, yeah, we've got lots of bills to pay. So that'll definitely help. Well, how good's this for your letter then, Steve? It's P. P for pay some bills. Awesome. Alright, you like that? He likes P. Yeah, solid. Huge P guys, Steve. Better than Y. That'll be out of 6.30. Steve, you ready to rip the band-aid off? Yep. Alrighty. Your time will start after the

first question. Starting with the letter P. We need you to name a tool. Power saw. A clothing item. Pass. A shape. Pentacle. A band. Pass.

A type of coffee. Pass. A board game. Pass. A type of coffee. Pass. A board game. Pass. An insect. Praying mantis. A periodic element. Palladium.

A body part. Phalanges. A cooking spice. Oh, Jesus. Mate, some great answers in there. Oh, jeez. What did you great answers in there. Oh, jeez. What did you say for periodic element? Palladium.

I'll take it. I'll take your word for it. I mean, it's not on our list. I don't have it here. But Hasbaz has written every option. It sounds like you're saying that with confidence, though, Steve. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of confidence.

Well, that will give you a four, I think. Now, shape. You said a pentacle. Yeah. Do you mean a pentagon? Yeah, yeah. Or a pentagram? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, shape. You said a pentacle. Yeah. Do you mean a pentagon? Yeah, yeah. Or a pentagram? I think so.

Yeah. Why don't I use it? Yeah, okay. Look, I don't think I can give pentacle. Look, a clothing item could have been the humble pencil skirt, pants, or PJs. A band could have been... How come pencil skirt wasn't top of mind, Steve? Yeah, come on, Steve.

A band could have been panic at a disco or Pearl Jam. Top of coffee, piccolo, a board game, Pictionary, a periodic element. Oh, you did say that. Sorry, a cooking spice, pepper or paprika. Can we have a second though? Phalanges. What a great answer. Yeah, that was great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, look, Steve, we had some creative responses and it was a bit of fun. You don't go away empty-handed. We're going to give you $100 cash as well. Awesome. When you pay off one of those bills, do you think of Jess and Ducko, okay?

I absolutely will. Thanks for that, guys. Thanks, mate. Thanks for playing. Do play again tomorrow, 6.30am, $8,000 to $10,000. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. You know those ads?

Unbelievable marketing campaign from Specsavers, you know, local optometrists. Their ad campaign of, should have gone to Specsavers. Should have gone to Specsavers. Should have gone to Specsavers. Have you had one of those moments? I guess this goes out to our vision impaired rice cookers. You know, you genuinely do need glasses or contacts. Really blurry. And you weren't wearing them, but I guess it could apply to anyone.

Your vision has failed you. It let you down. It let you down. Should have gone to Specsavers. Should have gone to Specsavers. Catching up with a girlfriend the other day, and she was sharing how she's entered her Babs era of joining a soccer league. What's going on with people?

Now, she has got, I know, the young ladies, they're found in 2025. Soccer is their jam. Yeah. She has joined indoor soccer, though. Oh, futsal. Futsal, exactly. So she's got a club, and they play, I think, every Wednesday or whatever it might be. But she was sharing with the group that, obviously, you don't wear your glasses when you're playing a sport, right?

They're going to fall off your face. And she doesn't want to do those goggles, you know, the sport goggles. Yeah, has she heard of contact lenses? Yeah, she's not, you know, just touching her eyeballs and all that. Some players do. There's a cricketer who wears his glasses while he still bowls and stuff like that. Really? Some players still do, yeah.'s a cricketer who wears his glasses while he still bowls and stuff like that. Really? Some players still do.

Doing a bowl. He still wears them. I guess your head should stay in the one position. They could easily fall off and you crunch them. A futsal's tough, though, because you're running at high speeds. Absolutely. You genuinely need the goggles. You genuinely would need some sort of thing.

And I can't remember what she said about why she wasn't wearing contacts, but she wasn't. Okay. So she's playing this game and there was one woman on the opposite team. They were just not getting along. This was not a friendly woman and she had it out for my friend, Key. And there's a bit of chat going on throughout

that 60-minute game. Bit of chat the whole time. This number 11, she just had it in. Div 4, mixed whistle on a Tuesday night. It's like, I'm going to fight her. Not to diminish how important Wednesday night futsal is, but could anything matter less? Like, let's just play our game, have a good time.

But the chat from this chick, and Kate was not going to take it lying down, so she's given a bit of chat back, and she actually said a great line. She would go, hey, everyone, toughest girl on the pitch right here. Toughest girl on the pitch. Oh, no. Adding some fuel to the fire. Okay. So this goes on for the duration of the game.

Key's team ends up winning, so she has the upper hand, but she still goes and wants to do the handshake at the end, even though it's friendly. Yeah. Good sportsmanship. This chick bats her hand away. Oh, slaps it. And Ki went, I'm just going to write you off as a B word

and we'll move on with our lives. But as she walks away, she went, no, I don't have to put up with that. That sucks. I'm actually going to call this woman out on her bad behaviour. So she storms back over to her and absolutely serves her, being like, what's wrong with you? Like, why are you bringing this energy in? I don't deserve that.

That's crap. I don't want you going into next week against a different team. In her face, absolutely serving her, telling her to pull her head in, unbelievable behaviour from her. I should get you reported. This girl starts almost tearing up, saying, what are you talking about? She goes, don't act like you don't know that crap behaviour you've been dishing my way for 60 minutes is unacceptable.

And she went, I think you've got the wrong person. Key leans in a little bit closer and goes, I absolutely do. I'm so sorry. I've got the wrong brunette. Where is that? Where is that number 11? Jeez, so she completely missed who it was. Should have gone to Specsavers.

Completely got up in this poor girl's face. Oh, no. And has served a one whilst number 11 has completely left the pitch right now. Yeah, she doesn't care. Nowhere. Oh, then she looks like the bad person now. She looks like she's just gotten angry for no reason. Who looks like the villain now making this young chick cry?

Oh, she could have had the wrong person the entire game, really. Maybe it was all different people. Yeah, yeah. Who's to say? She's just thinking it's one person. Who's to say? She's just thinking it's one person. Who's to say? So it just, it made me want to ask. Yeah.

On 131060, have you had a should have gone to spec saver dad? I feel like he could be in the next commercial. Or at least on a billboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blasted the wrong chick at Wednesday night futsal. Did the eyes betray you? Did the vision betray you? Yeah.

131060, what's your should have gone to spec savers? None of us in the team wear you? Yeah. 13, 10, 60. What's your should have gone to spec saves? None of us in the team wear glasses. No. We're all, yeah. I feel like I've seen Babs with just the frames but no lens because, you know, the young kids want to make them seem like it's a fashion statement. Like real trendy. But doesn't actually need the specs.

Yeah. So we've all got the vision. We've got the 2020s. Wow. I don't think mine's quite 2020. Okay. I feel as I'm getting further away from things, I can be like, that's hard to read.

Having to hold the phone further away to actually read the text. In the gym class? What is that? How many reps is that? A little number. What does that say?

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Have you had your should have gone to Specsavers moment? Should have gone to Specsavers. Very effective marketing

campaign, should have gone to Specsavers. My favourite's that one where he gets the cricket box and it's actually the avocado and he can't see. I've not seen that one. And so he puts it, it was played all through a few summers ago,

and he puts it on his package and he goes to play cricket. That's a great ad. Have you seen where they capitalised, remember a couple of years ago, Warren Buffett, maybe that old actor who was presenting Best Picture at the Oscars. Ah, yes. To be fair to Warren, he's handed the wrong thing and said, la, la, la, but then Specsavers jumped on being like,

should have gone to Specsavers. It's a great campaign. Great gear. Girlfriend of mine plays a Wednesday night futsal indoor soccer. High competitive nature. Social sport, man. It's just social sport. Injuries galore too.

Absolutely. But she had a woman on the opposite team who was just back chatting her all evening. It's just meant to be a bit of fun. They were going at each other and at the end refused to shake her hand. So my friend Key has absolutely served her one, given her absolute spray. The girl started tearing up and said, I think you've got the wrong person. She leaned in for a closer inspection and went, oh crap, yeah, you're not number 11. My bad. Should have gone to Specsavers. It does make me think that she had the wrong person. She leaned in for a closer inspection and went, oh, crap, yeah, you're not number 11, my bad. Should have gone to Specsavers.

It does make me think that she had the wrong person the entire time. Yeah, I reckon so. Like, there was no one actually. It was just multiple people and her having chat and banter. Yeah, but she locked in on one. Yeah. And definitely should have gone to Specsavers. Scotty's called in on 131060.

Scott, what have you done here? Should have gone to Specsavers moment. Yeah, so just recently me and my partner, we were down in Melbourne. She had a work trip and we were cruising down Hosea Lane. I thought, oh, this could be a good opportunity to pop the question. It's been in the pipeline for a little while. So we were taking little videos and we had all the graffiti in the background. And so we did two and I was like, oh, let's do a third.

I'm thinking, righto, when she brings the camera up, taking the video, I'll just hold the ring to the side of her face so we did that and then she completely missed it and then I was like oh let's just re-watch that video just to make sure it was clear we watched the video completely missed it again and then I was like, no, no, just double check. Like, make sure it's all clear. Watch it again. Nothing. Third time. She looked up and here I did. I had the ring in front of my face.

I was like, so will you marry me? Did you see the photo? Part of you must have been thinking, is she purposefully ignoring that and not acknowledging it? Yeah, you'd have been getting nervous. Absolutely. Oh, that's funny. I'm sure she said yes. He sounds like a happy boy.

Yeah, I'm going to say yes. Okay, sure. We've got a Sarah on 131060. Good morning, Sarah. Good morning. How are you? Oh, we're so good, Sarah. Have you had a,

I should have gone to Specsavers moment? Yeah, a couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with blood cancer and my hematologist put me straight into treatment and said, absolutely no seafood. It's a back to pregnancy diet for you so i was absolutely panging for some seafood topper on my chicken schnitzel three months into treatment and i got the um shellfish uh got the prawn tails off the end and all the rest of it made sure it was devanged and had a little pile on the side of my plate and i was was chowing down and I said, oh, how good is this?

And then I went, oh, wow, look, that puts some coleslaw on the side of my plate. And I picked up all the shellfish and put them in my mouth. Oh, I started eating the shellfish. Sarah, no. Oh, no. Whoever you were dining with must have been like, no. Don't do that.

Should have gone to Specsavers. Sarah, should have gone to Specsavers. Sarah should have gone to Specsavers. Oh, thank you for sharing, Sarah. Oh, jeez. Guys, don't be ashamed. Just wear your specs. Put your contacts in. It's okay.

So a bit wet, lots of parts over the weekend, particularly on Saturday. I don't mind a good one-off wet day when it means you're just forced to stay inside. You don't feel guilty about it. You're a big sound of rain to fall asleep kind of guy, aren't you? Every night. Every night. You've got the rain machine. Yeah, we've got the, well, Spotify rain.

But yes, the rain machine. Every night we do that. So on the weekend when it was super wet, Morgan's like, why don't we, because my cupboards are pretty dirty. She's now done all the nesting she can do. And so she's like. Has she taken a toothbrush to the grout in your bathroom? Is she on her hands?

That's this week. Yeah. That's this week. I need to borrow the gurney again, by the way. So she goes, why don't we clean your cupboard out? Because my cupboard's always like classic. I just chuck everything everywhere. I don't fold anything.

Because remind me, she's got all her stuff in the spare bedroom. Correct. Because she's got a lot more. Yes, a lot more. That's right. So I've got our bedroom with my cupboard, but, you know, there's just jumpers on jumpers from last winter. I've got clothes on.

And there's no sort of system. Too many hats. Yeah. We've heard about the hats. I've got a hat drawer. So she goes, let's clean it out. Let's, like, actually redo it. And I just did not want to do it at all.

What else are you doing? Can't take the dog for a 7K run. No, what else are we doing? I was like, fuck, I live in a prison. And so we pulled it all out. As we're putting it out, she's like, her filing systems are very different to my filing systems about what we put clothes in. You're very different personality type, so it stands to reason.

And I imagine also there's no consideration of you have to deal with this space every day. She doesn't, but she'd be going, there's a better way to function. Why don't you have to deal with this space every day. Correct. She doesn't, but she'd be going, there's a better way to function. There's a better way to do it. Why don't you put this here, this here? I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. Anyway, I was like, I'm going to forget where you put everything now. So I've sent you all a photo.

Yes. So she has labeled every drawer I have with what's in the drawer. Is that like on a piece of tape or something? Yeah, yeah. Undies, socks, exercise shirts, t-shirts. I literally was like, hang on, what are you? Yeah, she, yeah. Undies, socks, exercise shirts, T-shirts. I literally was like, hang on, what are... Yeah, she did that.

I was like, why would you put E, not E-X-C or something like that? It sounds like they're electric. Do you have to charge those? You know what's funny? I was like, that looks... Golf has its own... Yeah, it does. They're big, decent drawers.

Yeah, they're big, yeah. Yeah, pants. But what was funny is I was like, oh, these are so dumb. I'm not going to need that kind of vibe. And then last night I was going in and she's watching me and I didn't know where to put my shirt. And then I put my shirt in the wrong one. She goes, no, that goes in the bad shirt pile, not in the PJs pile. You said that. I was like, you're right. I did say that. Shaga, I'll draw your attention to the upper shelf.

Yes, I saw that one. Did you see that one? Is that for stuff she doesn't like you wearing? That's like wearing it around the house. S-kit. Yeah, yeah. Wear it around the house. Wear it mowing. You're not leaving the house in the S-kit. I thought she was just like, I don't want you to ever wear this.

I hate this shirt. No. Also, your pajama box is the biggest of all of them by a long while. It's a huge box, isn't it? She's really got a system. Now, does she have the equivalent of this, the labels? She doesn't have the labels, no. In her?

No. I guess she does. She doesn't have any labels. But it's funny because the labels, I actually walked out last night and I was like, the labels. She doesn't have the labels, no. In her, I guess she does. No, she doesn't have any labels. But it's funny because the labels, I actually walked out last night, I was like, the labels have really helped. Jess and Ducco. Been a great show so far. You missed any of it, grab it wherever you get your podcasts or on Listener.

Absolutely. We always have an exclusive little bit of extra content. Yeah, juicy extras. If you would like a little bit more. Yeah, yeah. It lives on the Listener app. Sure does. Been a hell of a show. If you miss it as well, the Baby Registry you would like a little bit more. Yeah, yeah. It lives on the listener app. Sure does. It's been a hell of a show.

If you miss it as well, the Baby Registry, that's going off every week. Tomorrow you could win a... Sorry, every day. Tomorrow you could win a sleep pack, two pairs of noise-cancelling headphones, plus two pairs of loop earplugs. And all you need to do is listen out for The Crying Baby. Yeah. Can play any time from 6am today, about 8.30.

Yep. Which would stand to reason it won't be 8.30 tomorrow. Could be earlier. Or will it? You never know. You'll have to join us and then be the first one to call 3. Yeah. It's been a bit of a Monday today, you know.

My elbow fired off a wrong button. Which is a cruel betrayal from your elbow. It was my jumper. I was wearing a jumper for the first time this year. You're weighed down. Yeah, we got weighed down. You'll be chilly. You'll burn that jumper.

Chilly AM. Oh, you can't burn that jumper. That's the branded jumper. Yeah. Which you were actually bringing back to return to the cupboard. Yeah. My wife's making me cull everything. So I was like, yeah, let's go back.

Don't you reckon, though? Very beautiful fleece. They are so cuddly. Yeah, I'll leave it here. So wear it in the studio because you like the studio Arctic temperatures. You know? I'm just like, should I go still in a jumper? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a good choice for me. Today has been the first time not cold enough for me. Oh, jeez. Yeah, I'm actually. You know what's annoying is I have a vent down here next to me and you don't. Oh. And that's why.

Do you? Yeah. Is that why you're always extra cold? Yeah, yeah. My computers. Yeah. And it blows on my legs. And we can't swap positions because that's the.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're running the whole show over there. The vent is the key. Maybe I need to talk to someone. Do you know what we need to get? The big tube. Yeah, that pipe. Over to you.

Over to me. Yeah, I think they need it for the technology. That foil tube you see running from air cons through roofs and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone needs to rig that up. Shyguy? Put that on your to-do list, please. Shyguy's day just got busy.

I need a tube. What were you going to say? What were you possibly going to say? I keep seeing these ads on, like, Teemu, and it's like a tube and it connects to the car air conditioner, and then you put the tube up your pants. I would love that. What's it meant to do?

Cool your pants down? Cool your boys down. Yeah. Either or. Yeah, yeah. See, that's it. I just thought of that. Maybe we could just

run a tube out of the vent Why don't we do that? There's a sweet spot for that though, isn't there? Don't want to be too cool, don't want to be too warm. That's true. But that's a good idea.

I need some sort of tubing directly to me. Yeah. But then you'll have to come from the ceiling. Would that be distracting? But I want to funnel Ducko's away

because it's making him too cold. So two birds, one stone. The problem in the studio with our air con. My goodness. Anyway. How's your new deodorant going? Oh yeah, how is that going? I thought it was all right, but today I think it's failed. Should I give a smell test? No, I can smell it from here. Oh, is that why you asked? 740. Oh, you started going. You know, it was when I was explaining my hands on hands with my obstetrician. Yeah, I was getting worked up.

You were getting excited, so you were starting to sweat. And I think it's flared up my eczema. You know, that was my issue. Did you, because I tagged you in that thing, not directed anyone on this team, but, you know, your crystal deodorants don't work. Yeah. But you remember what I learned about the crystal deodorant. One, I was getting the prayer wrong, but two, I didn't realise there was a plastic cap over the crystal.

You had to pray before you put it on. No, it was a joke. Come with me on this journey. Sorry. I never know with you. It's too literal. I don't know. The crystal literally comes in a tube, but there was a plastic cap,

like a lot of cosmetics, and I didn't realise that. So I was using it for two weeks before it, like, moved a bit. I went, oh, God, it's been a cover. There's a lot of issues with the crystals. It's a shame that your new deer isn't working. This was spray on, yeah? I know Angus begged me to try aerosol. I was anti-aerosol because I don't like the idea of breathing it in.

I finally got the hypoallergenic and it's flared me up. Oh, no. I need to follow up with that kinesiologist. Remember we talked about the woman who can cure eczema? What happened to her? They're not allowed to come on air. It's against their code. Yeah, but she said I could come in and visit.

You could do a private session. Yeah, yeah. She said I could come in and visit. And I lost her in service. Yeah, yeah, she said I could come in and visit. And I lost her in my DMs. Oh, damn. I've got to find her. She disappeared into the depths of the DM. Yeah, okay.

You know she said it was a 90-minute appointment on a Sunday? And I was like, hmm. So that's a long time to go, hmm. However, now that I've had this flare-up, I think I might do it. You might go, yeah, go. Hey, anything helps us. Please, come on. We should get callers on tomorrow to do your best.

Oh, yeah, can you cue a Jess's X-Mas? Oh, through the radio. Because you can't be a whatever the... Kinesiologist. I can't say that word. That, so we get the next best thing. The next best thing. Want to be a kinesiologist.

That's a bit of fun. Do you want to have a go? Oh, he's good at it. Someone's calling through. We'll follow that up tomorrow. We'll do it tomorrow. Early, obviously. Or how'd you cure your partner's stink?

That's better. There you go. That's better. How'd you cure your partner's stink? You've been full of pivots today. Write that down. Thank you so much. Someone write that down.

I'll forget it tomorrow. How'd you cure your partner's pong? Can you come give me a... You're fanning your underarms on show. Can you do it that way? Sorry. Shut up. It's all that bad.

I need the tube. It smells like... We need a hazmat suit. Anyway. Stinging. Never has Babs been happier to sit outside this glass box. She was always like, do you guys want me to stay in? I'm like, yes, come in.

She's like, never mind. It's warm and smells like caramel out here. Oh, jeez, I miss those times. Okay, fairyland out there. I want to go to fairyland. Can I go to fairyland? I don't know, because I don't know how to do the buttons. You want to stay there? It's cold and smells like Dio in here.

Well, not like Dio. We're out of our bed. We've got to go. Do you have B.O.? B.O. Body odour, D.O. Oh, I got you. Anyway, we're done now. Grab the podcast and listen up. We'll make some ice. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

Bye. I want to get me to go out and that, and I'm like, oh, yeah, righto. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Hot Honey has dropped at Macca's for a limited time only. Embrace the drip.