Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Here I am in your flap!

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

What's Bunnings doing in WA that NSW isn't? Jess has an issue with something her husbands done and we ask did you go through the family?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the app. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Welcome to the podcast. So we got a bit sidetracked today. I wanted to bring you diabolical hacks that the internet has shared

for surviving the 40-hour work week. We got a little bit too hung up on how little Ducco and I work. No one said little you guys work. Oh, sorry, how much you... You and Babs work in comparison. How many contact hours we do? That's right. We never actually got to the hacks from the internet community.

So this is someone who asked, what do you do? Not just like meal prep. Like she said, I want unhinged. Someone said, Shelby, I pretend I'm on an episode of the office when I'm at work. And when bullshit's happening around me, I just pretend to look at a camera and roll my eyes. It gives me my own little giggle. Helps me get through the day. Look at my own little monologue.

Like I'm breaking the four. Exactly. That's funny. I'm just living in a simulation. Yeah, that is a good one. Do the gym, the gym like... Exactly. Hannah has said, I repeat, come on, Barbie, let's go party when my alarm goes off over and over until I find the motivation to get my ass out of bed. That was a bit of fun. Someone has said, I try and think of the worst job imaginable. For me, I think that would be being a surgeon. She goes, the pressure, the hours. It was not for me. And when I'm at my crappy retail job, I just tell myself,

at least I'm not a surgeon to try and get through the day. That's true. At least I'm not digging holes. Exactly. Whatever it might be for you. BJ has said, I take hour long poos whilst I'm on the clock. Oh, yeah. Makes me feel like I'm getting one back on the company.

You have to. You've got to do that. Yeah. Kat has said, I eat breakfast and do my makeup during the commute. I catch the train to work, so I put my alarm as late as possible and do all tasks on the train to maximise sleeping. Would you do your makeup on a train? You're not doing mascara or eyeliner.

I was going to say I wouldn't do it. On a rocking and rolling. Even as a passenger, I've tried to like paint my nails. And I just, I can't. It's not life-threatening. Yeah, I feel like also people judging how you do it. We're very smelly doing your nails. Well, yes.

Oh, the acetone. I don't do my makeup, but I feel like if I did, and I was doing it in front of other girls and they saw me doing it, they judged my style. That's fair. Also, would you be self-conscious eating like a bowl of oats on a public transport? I mean, you can eat like a breaky burrito or something that you can hold, you know, but...

But my always fear, I'm pretty sure on buses that says no food or drink. And can you imagine being called out by the bus driver mid-commute? Also, the smells. The smells. We're just, you know. This one now again, I say, the woman asked for unhinged. I don't know if this guy's actually doing it if he's trying to be funny. Peter says, I wear shoes, two sizes too small.

So taking them off at the end of the day feels really, really good. That's just silly. It just feels like you're punishing yourself. It's going to hurt your toes. Pickles has said I sleep in what I'm going to wear to work

so I can really maximise sleeping yeah what's going to save you a minute two minutes put it out lay it out the night before pickles

and Rochelle has said drugs so that's a great contribution to get through the 40 hour work week she's like that she works to earn money

oh well great interpretation Shaga I assumed like she just goes home at night and has to lose herself in drugs

whereas you're saying to pay for drugs to eat you'll pay for them To each they're right Oh, comment back to Michelle. I'm like, or not homeless, like, drugged up people. And I'm like, how do you afford the drugs? Oh my God, I have so many questions when I see junkies.

Do they go to sleep? Yeah. Yeah, during the day, usually. Yeah. Usually during the day, because I see them when I'm driving to work at like 5 o'clock. It would be a tough life. Do you ever see them like sitting under like a junkie under a tree and it's been raining and they've got like a tarp set up and you're like, could you imagine?

Oh, have cold that would be in damp. I walk past, I assume it was a gentleman. I could only see his feet. and he was using a cardboard box as the blanket. But I went, at what point does someone check on him? You know what I mean? Like, how long's he been there? I've poked someone at a park before

because I genuinely thought, this is a dead body. The way he was spayed out, that's not a sunbaking. I've drifted off beautifully in the afternoon. He was spayed out like he'd collapsed. And we live in a society where no one checks on each other. So I literally went over and touched his shoulder. He kind of woke up in a start. I said, I'm so sorry, I just wanted to make sure you're okay.

I was like, oh, yes, I dozed off. Can you sleep? I don't think I would do it either. But it could be a dead body. What if he like had a knife or something? Ah, see, he didn't look like a, no, he wasn't. He didn't look junky one. He didn't look junkie.

He looked genuinely like someone, he'd collapsed. Oh, okay. He was just in, no, he was just in shorts and a t-shirt. Okay, okay, that's a different. No, but still isn't, like, we should be checking on them too. But yeah, no, this guy did not appreciate being woken up. But I'm like, can you sleep a bit? Do you interrupt him?

I interrupted him. I was in the wrong. You thought, yeah, you thought he was injured. I thought he was injured. It's like, no, one's checked on this. They're always, sorry, go. No, no. Gene's guy, no, no, I'd like to hear what you had to say.

No, I was going to say, the junkies that I see every day are actually really kind to me, too. I thought you're in the car. No, like, when I go to my walk, stay. Are you going to, do you go, where do you sleep? What do you do? No, they always, well, I mean, one of them always says, I walk past one the other day, and he was like, yeah, your fitness routine's working for her. I was like, thanks, buddy. I was sitting on you.

I was hitting on you. And then one of them was just like, you're gorgeous when I was walking past. I was like, thank you so much. So you've used the word kind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That to me is a little sleazy. They're hitting on you. Oh, it's better than the plumbing company that drives past every afternoon and beeps their horn at me and puts their hand out the window.

Okay, now we've got real issues, Babs. Where are you doing this walk? Yeah, we're going to need to get a crew together. Yeah, it is. At the same place. Yeah. Oh, okay. You're making friends on your hot girl walks.

Yeah, yeah. And then there's an old guy now that I always say good afternoon to every. afternoon. It's really sweet. If he dies, I will be upset. If he was collapsed, you would go shaking. Strutting down the street. I don't know.

He's waiting for the plumber, for the junkie and then the old dude. Good on you. Are you sort of like, well, there's the bingo. There's the three. Very good. Got them all. Tick, tick. If you don't get honked by the plumbers,

are you sort of like, oh, they must be on a different roof today. Yeah, I do. This has happened a couple times. Next time the junkie said someone on, you say, I've got a question. Do you sleep? Why don't you hit him back with a compliment himself? Well, when's the last time, he's a compliment.

Your needle marks are better than anything I've ever seen. Do you sleep? They're so symmetrical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll try that. May as well, if they're speaking to you first and instigating. Yeah. Have you ever tried to buy, like, a homeless person or someone food and give it to them

when they're outside? No. You've never done that? No. You want a pie? My friend has tried to do that. Yeah. A woman who was living in a tent.

Yeah. And he left in front of her, you know, like a six pack of water and something. She poked her head out, screamed at him. saying, I don't need your effing charity and, like, try to kick the water back at him. I've heard they don't like it. And I was, oh, I'm like, you try, yeah. What do you do?

What do you're trying to be a nice human being. But you get the people who now film themselves doing it to look good. That's a whole other kettle of fish daco, the kind of person who needs the validation. If you're going to do it, hey, man, talk about it with your friends, sure. Like, maybe that'll spark them to do a nice thing, putting it on TikTok just to get a like. Oh, my God. Yeah, we, yeah. On nights, we did, like, homeless hour.

We weren't found someone homeless, bought them into studio, fed them, talked to them, interviewed them. Really? What's the craziest story you heard from a homeless person on air? They weren't very audible. We haven't really did it. The ones and we were like, this was a good idea on paper. How did you get them out, though? Well, because we're in city in the world square.

Yeah, yeah, but how do you get them out of the building? Security. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah. Because we have security that night in the city office. As in did this person not want to leave? No, no, no, like. It was fine. We were like, we're from the radio.

We work in the building over there. Like, do you want to come up? Like, we'd like to interview you. He thought he was going for a soup kitchen. Yeah. He did it be dirty worried about it. We were like in merch and stuff. Like, we were like, we'd just like to interview, like, you to your story.

We wouldn't know your story. And they came up, they said it. They weren't very audible at all. Oh, so you don't know the story. It was a bit that died. You couldn't do that anymore. The bit, the bit had on paper really good idea. Oh, I love the motivation.

And they were going to hang out for an hour. Yeah, yeah. This is that like, co-hosts. It was like 1230. Yeah. It was nice radio. What do you think of the new Sabrina Calfantel? You know?

Yeah. I love to hear someone else's perspective. He was very, like, mm. He was like, we fed him and stuff. So he had. He used the showers in the office. That's amazing. How does all the other employees feel about that?

And then it was done. There's no one around. You all caught something off here, but that was that. And then the security guy's name was Brett. Anyway, we called Brett. Brett, can you just like usher this guy out now? He's done. See, that feels like the bad part.

We told the homes guy we do that for all the celebrities. Let them have a shower. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Brett's got to walk you. They're escorted. Escorted. Yeah, geez. Back in a different time, you know.

Overnight's radio, it's just truckies and the weird of people you get that call in. Yeah. You can. You can. You can. And then about 10 listeners. But they don't even have overnight shows anymore. No, it's just music. Just Sabrina Carpenter and Dave McRae. That's right.

Woo. Hey, you're off. You've got to go to Melbourne, gal. Yeah, you're chuffin off today. I'm going tomorrow morning, early. I'm good with it. Going to early. What time you fly it?

830. Probably could have done half the show. Oh, you could have done at least like an hour. Are you like me? Do you need to get the airport three hours early for a domestic? I'm going to get there like an hour and a half early.

You do not need to get there an hour and a half early. I'm a type A person and it stresses me out. Don't get to the Newcastle airport because there's fucking nothing to do. Yeah, but we've got to get there. It takes a half an hour. She's got to get there, Ducks off. They never let me go through security with them on.

They don't wear an alternate shoe. No, because I've only got carry on luggage. I need to wear the heavy stuff. Have you checked in already? before you go there? No. Check it online. If you've got Carillon only

and then you can roll in literally 40 minutes before your flight there will not be a line of that thing and if there is, they're not going to leave you behind at the Newcastle Airport. I'm not encouraging this behaviour but I'm pretty sure if you've only got Carri-on

you could probably roll in five. There's no security. Don't do it when you'll miss the flight. Yeah, I was going to say and I'll be calling you're crying. You may me miss my line. Well, get there. Happy birthday.

Are you parking here? Are you parked you guys? I'm like, you were here at my birthday. You did this on purpose. Are you parking the car there? No, we're going to lift in, hopefully. Oh, you're dropped. Man, 45 minutes.

Yeah, 45 minutes is the max amount of time you need to be there. Easily. Three hours. You'll get there, I guarantee, and you'll sit there. It's all getting renovated right now. The red, this is close. What are you going to do there, huh? There's only going to be one security.

She's going to be, there's going to be a cute. There'll be a delight. The guy who works at knows the show. Really? He's a guy who knew about the fish. He works on the security, younger dude. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

What else is not on shift? I have my coffee in the morning, too. I sit down and drink a coffee and tell me to eat. And you can take your sex toys. It doesn't matter. Oh, carry on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might get flagged.

It might get pinged. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wouldn't that be great? What's this weapon in your bag, man? Please open it up. They're my cowboy. An hour and a half. Okay, actually, you know what?

You get there an hour and a half a fairly, and you send us constant update photos. Yeah, take your laptop. You can do some work. Because there's not, there's not much to do there. Can she log into the phone system and answer? Yeah, you could. Me sitting in the airport going.

Hey, it's been. Good morning, Jess and Ducko. What would you do with 10K? Yeah, yeah. Do you love how long it's all good to think of an example of something she's. I was like, what are we doing this show again? Where do you find a dildo?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been through the entire family? Yeah, have you slept with your brother? Do you have four skin? Okay, that was not the question we asked on the show. What we need to do is get a compilation of what Babs had said of phones and we can do like a montage at the end of the year of every phone thing we've done. That's great.

Fuck, we're so late on that. Why? I know, it's September. But we can just get all our past topics and we should record Babs going like, Jess and Darko, like, have you been through a family? Hey man. Jess and Darko. Where are we at getting her a camera?

Jess and ducco, what size are your undies? Later go to God. No, it's, we're waiting on a cable or some shit. Oh, God. Every time I ask there's a new part we're waiting for, I think we're ordering the screws once a month, and then when we have enough screws... A number of times I have just thought,

I'll just go fucking buy it myself. Like, it's so slow. So... Anyway, have fun. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Enjoy the cafe culture. I haven't packed my bag yet.

Oh, you are so crazy. I know. I'm so crazy. She's living by the side of it. I'm trying to be like, I'm a Taipei, but I haven't packed my bag. I'm stressed. I'm thinking about the outfits. I need a back, but I don't know.

Man, imagine us traveling together. When I sent you guys updates on my airport thing, and I'll send you photos, and I think I was 20 minutes before a flight or something else. And then guess what I got in there and it was delayed 14 minutes. So I was actually early. Oh, my God. Yeah. So what I'm saying is I'll just come to work tomorrow. Just take a chance.

Then you don't have to put in on your leave. Hey guys, we're missing the breakfast club Oh my god All butter croissons You just go Tuckoo in the morning Stop what you're doing And listen

You know I got that shit that you're like There's only one show to wake up for you I'm not that easy to tang Jess You just go Bipipipip I got to explain I actually haven't seen my dad's butt in a while

Got him going insane Yes I Your hole was well over Bad, fats, fads. I've never had hemorrho. Look, yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco. Right on 6 o'clock. I, uh, welcome to Thursday. Oh, hello.

Hello. I've had an early scam email, Ducko. Nearly fell for it. Yeah. From a guy called Gregory. And it says, hi everyone. I'm writing to inform you. We're reordering supplies for the kitchen here at work.

Oh. Click here with the hyperlink to fill out a survey regarding what you want to see in the kitchen, Greg, and put Southern Cross Austerio. Really? These scammers are getting good, man. But then he clearly doesn't know us because if it's a work email, you'll just delete. 100%. I work kitchen, I don't care.

It's so funny because kitchen caught my arm. And what's about a kitchen? It's because you're renovating right now, so maybe you're just thinking... Yeah, bang on. So they're obviously listening. Is there something going on with Metiles? Yeah. And then you look at the email as Gregory.

Atziesel.mobu.com. You kind of go, okay. Who are you? Gregory, I'm not going to fool for you. We're not going to do that. But people would out there, you know. It's just a nice little reminder. The Work Kitchen.

Delete everything. It's a weird way to get you for the work kitchen. I know. I guess they've tried. I've had Oz Post ones. I've had bank ones. I've not had an internal, quote unquote, work one. Not either.

For kitchen supplies. I don't have that either. And even the word supplies, it's like food or extra forks. Yeah, what are they going to. To be fair, you know, I'd like another zip tap in there. Oh, I'd like a fixed zip tab. Yeah, split the island up, so it's a bit more space. Sure, and let Greg no.

Actually, go back to Greg. If you reply to scam emails, does that get you hacked? Or is it just clicking links? I think it's just linked. So could I reply to him and say, hey, Greg. Hey, Greg, just, no, I don't think on the work computer. Yeah, I do it on the work. That's even better.

But that's not where he emailed. Yeah, email. Why would I transfer that to my dream mail? Yeah, you don't want to do that on your Mac. I'm on my hacked, my personal hack. No, do on the shitty work laptop. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Remember when I downloaded a.

virus and then that somehow got into the servers in the office. Oh, did you bring down the network? He gave the network an STD. Oh, of course he did. And then they had to incinerate my laptop. Don't be a full wrap your tools. We learned that in sex, Ed.

We should have covered up the laptop. I agree. A shy transmitted disease. Like the plastic wrap my mum has on her couch, you should have put that on your laptop. They burnt the laptop. Like actually. Incinerated.

Did they? I don't remember this. They took it off me. sent it to Sydney, and then Sydney, they incinerated it. Sydney's like, ah! They understand it's not actual gonorrhea. They can't... It's hurting me!

All the techs were just freaking out. It's a tech STD, not an actual... They can't give it to another employee, because it could still be infected. The virus is, man, they live deep. Wow. They can't give it back to HP. They don't want it. I don't realize we took it that seriously.

HP's still easier to virus than Mac? Or was that just like a fad back in the day? Hackers are smarter now. It was back when they only focus on PC. That was back in the Mac. That was back in the Mac. Mac and Tosh PC. Absolutely.

Whereas the hackers now go, every second person also has a Mac. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or an iPhone. Yeah. But don't have too many viruses on my iPhone, though. Neither do you shall go for someone who punishes that old size. Yeah, but he pays for the premium.

So that is guaranteed. No tech SDDs. Yeah, that's fair. You know? I mean, yeah, if you're getting viruses from porn, you don't really know how to use porn, do you? Rookies. You nobs.

You rookies. You know what he should do? You weaklings? He should do an online course. I'm a podcast. You should. You should do a podcast. I'm launching a conspiracy podcast.

You're all learning a avoid STDs on porn. Yeah. Ducco, what podcast are you starting? I'll jump on the STD porn podcast for the shy guy. You'll be a special guest. Yeah, yeah. I'll be a guest. What's your pod?

Tears and nails, I reckon. Yeah, maybe. Yes. Babs in the wild. You use the Brita Carbiter's tears as well for the intro. Great. Sounds good. Because you got your nails done yesterday.

There was a someone next to you. your nails getting done, who was just upset. Yeah, she was just crying next to me. And can we just drill down on Babs, not asking if she was okay? I don't know if I would in that instance either. You're sitting right there. I'm not saying you're walking up. But Babbs did say the nail lady.

You tell us to her. Yeah, the nail lady said, are you okay, baby? So are you okay, baby? And she just kind of said yes, but she was giving off the attitude that she didn't want anyone to talk to her, so I just let her be. She had an airport in. She did have her airport in and her phone kept ringing and she kept hanging it up And, yeah, it was interesting.

It's juicy, man. Like, it screams of breakup, but maybe it's best friend drama. Oh, it could be. Are you sobbing like that over work? Maybe not. Probably not. I mean, unless you really love, I would. If you got fired, but your boss wouldn't keep calling and calling.

No. So, you know what I mean? It's got to be, it screams like either family or love. Oh, God, maybe family. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, you know. A sister took her dress that she liked or something. Oh, she hadn't even had a chance to wear the dress ducko,

and the sister's been taking it out to the clubs. Got a stain on it. I'd be inquisitive enough to want to ask, but I would... I don't think I would ask if I'd seen her react like that to the nail technician. Okay. I'd be like, ah, whatever. I just... You're too...

You're knocking elbows in those situations. Yeah, you'd be close. And Babs did share empty nail salon, but the woman, she's coming second, sat her right next to the crier. That says to me, they don't know how to handle it. Yeah, you do with this. Hey, can you lady? You do with this.

You two girls. You guys do with this. Ask her what colour she should get. And then ask her, she's okay, baby. If anyone's equipped to deal with the afternoon, cry. It's bad. Thank you. I feel like the universe perfectly popped Babbs in this crying woman's laugh.

And she didn't, unfortunately, reach out. I don't know how to deal with people crying. You just know how to deal with yourself crying. Yeah, both. Yeah. I would have gone and bought like a snickers and walked over, been like, let's talk about me. To be honest, Jess, you came into my brain when this was happening. I was like, Jess would ask her what's wrong.

But then I was like, I'm not Jess. But you also don't like confrontation. Does this slip into that wrong? See, that to me isn't confrontation. Confrontation is where it could get a bit nasty or yelly or mean. This is, I'm trying to be a nice human being. If she turned around and snapped at me, I couldn't have predicted that. So I would have still extended the olive brand.

And if she snapped, oh, I would run to this program and be like, where did it backfire trying to be nice? And that's what you need to learn, Babs. I know you still new to radio. Every bad situation, great content. So put yourself in awkward situations For the show For the show

Do that, Babs Alright, I will Good job To be a bad situations We're in one When we all got dressed up in NFL gear Geez one team members Getting just rinsed online

Really? And we need to unpack it Jess and Ducko So we obviously posted the NFL video yesterday Where we were kind enough To get the Central Coast Sharks Here into the studio They gave us a bunch of NFL gear

And we all got to put it on pads helmets, the pants. We were run through some drills. Yep. We did a couple of passings of the balls. Some headaches. You know, there was some, what's that called? Headbutting.

Yeah, oh, there's a lot of head budding and chest pumping. Some hip and shoulders. Some dancing. It was a hell, hell of an afternoon. It was great. The video's up on our social. You can check it out now if you want to see four idiots. Dressing gridding it.

Just hut, hutting all over the border room. Literally. Just throwing. We did contemplate going to a grass, a patch of grass. They know. God love Mr. President Scott. Yes, God. He had so much gear and he made it all the way here.

We thought, we can't make him walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we made him walk like 400 years down the street and up the elevator. Did he not park in the car park? Nah, I think he was down there. Oh, shut. I didn't take, I didn't help go back to his car. I thought he was getting car fire.

Same. Oh, no. One thing that happened, though, is we discussed this yesterday, is Shagai's legs. They're getting, they're getting, they're getting, a lot of comments. Like, whoa, shah guys' legs. Oh, my God, I can't believe that. A lot of messages. I was getting some DMs.

Someone said at first I thought it was you, Ducco, and then I realized it was Shire Guy. Yes. Anyway, I had a lot of people message me a common thing about Shire Guy's legs. All right, because we've seen his legs. Like, he's got full images on there, but he's always in like a dream. They're not particularly skinny. These red iron hands, they accentuate it. They're silky.

They suck everything in. They suck everything in. And they're that really weird length just below the knees. Yeah, it felt like rumble-skilled skin or something. Oh, my God. That's a great. I had a lot of people message me saying like, oh, my kid has

my bigger legs over then. Someone goes, but I reckon three people said he looks like a baby plover. Oh, my God. Like the bird. Like a bird. Yes. They, and they're bitches, those birds.

They plovers, they, oh, they're very territorial. It's like you over Zena. I don't know if they're the only one. I don't know if they're the only ones. But they put their nests on the ground, like massive idiots. Yes. You've got access to trees, birds.

But they like to nest on the grass. They swoop you but they don't hit you So they can come close and they pull away from you There was a plover once that was in a car park Of an old workplace And you go, you're in the wrong kid plumber I understand you're a natural creature You're doing it on instinct

Yeah So that I don't What are you reckon should I write? I get it They're really annoying I know these birds too Yeah They're real annoying

And then we used to play game as kids Where you'd walk near the nest You wouldn't do anything But the plover would swoop you But it could never hit you Exactly Yeah God, it was nerve-wracking.

Absolutely. But it would never get you. Like, God, you're good. Because, like, a magpie comes at you, obviously, from the height of the tree, whereas a plover comes from the ground. So it's actually quite intimidating to go, yeah. But I just thought it was funny that three separate people said he looks like a baby plover,

like that specific of a bird. But you can tell what season we're in. We're getting into spring territorial birds. People have got plovers on the mind. Yeah. That they're like, that guy looks like a plover. But then Shagai, the one guy who always sleazy jumps into my DM, I think it's a fake account.

I think you get him too. the purple drip emojis. Oh, goodness, crazy. He always... Is he someone who I should have blocked a long time ago, but the ego of me is kind of like, I don't mind that he's kind of called me sexy 24-7. I'm getting the engagement.

Hey, Morgan, look, he's hitting on me again. I've never replied. He's just where he says, like, if I were in DT, it's like, whoa-a. And I'm just like, hey, Morgan. How self-aware are you? Well, you know, just... Good on.

I don't get much, but you take what you can. You take what you can. You're not getting ladies to it, so you'll take it from a gentleman. The reason I think is. He's lying, though, is he said, Whoa, you and Chicago looked so good in that. I was like,

oh, now you're just taking the piss, mate. I'm glad to have elevated you then. Jess and Ducko. Sometimes I forget how large our nation is. We're big, aren't we? We are massive. Our population might not be humongous, but in terms of how spread out we are

from our fellow Aussies. We just clutch the coasts. We do clutch the coast, which, thank you, puts WAA so far away from us here on the east. coast, right? They are running their own race. They're a different country. They truly are. I'm surprised we haven't had the push from some far

right W.A political group going let's break off and make our own country. Kind of like, you know, Quebec tried to do in Canada. Well, there was COVID. It tried to do in Spain. It was sort of wax it in COVID, wasn't it? Wax it or whatever it was, W.A. trying to exit. The premier at the time, I'm not sure if it's the same

blow. Yes, very much going, we're running our own race. We are doing things differently. And they were locked down for much longer and all those things. Turns out the divide doesn't stop there, Ducco. They are doing something sacrilegious. It has caused absolute uproar online. So would you like me to take us to W.A.

Oh, that would only make sense. Samantha Jade, obviously, famous W.A. Hailing. Hailing from W.A. From W.A. Yeah, yeah. She was born in St. John of God there. Obviously, she is...

Hang on a minute. Everyone shut that off. Shut that off. Yeah. Why did we spend so long? trying to work out who's from Perth. He was born in Perth. Sing.

One foot in, one foot. I moved from Perth to Brisbane when I was maybe two, three months old. What does your passport say? It says Subiaco, Perth. But I feel like I've never been, though, because I've truly never seen it as an adult. I moved there. Mum had me there, mum and dad, and then they moved for Dad's job to Queensland when I was But, jeez, I must have been three months old.

It boggles my mind. You do not originate from the Sunshine State. I know. What's even W.A.'s nickname, I don't know. The sand gropers, really? Sandgroopers, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gropes, yeah. You groping sandal right around the shop.

A huge sandgrooper. So you are in perfect position to explain what your Paisani, what your countrymen, what your kin are doing over there with the bunnings, sausage sizzle. What are we up to? You think it's pretty stock standard, all right? Yeah. It's a sausage made by someone in the RSL or the local soccer club. Some charity. Some charity cooking up.

I mean, let's not even get into the prices these days, but you get your sanger, you put it on some bread, onion, no onion sauce. It should be that simple, right? Yes. In W.A., someone has discovered it and put it online. Instead of using just the cheapest white bread known to man. Which is tip top. Which is tip top. Yeah.

They use hot dog buns. Oh. For their bunning sausage sizzle. Now, it's still the sausage sizzling. It's not like those disgusting red weanies you boil. Yeah. They're still barbecuing. But they're hot dog buns.

They only have the bun, the hot dog roll on offer. It makes sense. But it does feel, you know, not Australian. It does feel not Australia. And everyone's going, all right, if fancy pants, W.A. I went, are rolls fancier than bread? My issue is bread to sang a ratio. Got it.

Thank you very much. We have 40 of those in the system I appreciate it. I mean, I should have done it in the song, obviously, but I was too busy trying to get us to W.A. I want to bring the rice cookies in on something. If you hear me talking for upwards of 90 seconds without Ducco contributing, it's because the sister...

I was still doing some... Yeah. The sister... It's because he's looking for something in our... I don't even reckon people would know. We'll still vibe it. Oh, mate, look at this. Look at how many things we have and none of the work except for this one.

That's ridiculous. Anyway, sorry. Nah, you're fine. I feel like I'm circling the drain, but you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is weird. So what do you explain? Because people are going, what are you doing over there?

That is wrong ratios. It's too fancy. They're much more expensive. So is that inflating the price then? And then for me... RSL is charging customers. For me, someone who, you know, gut issues and stuff. Too much bread now.

Like, we're just punching too much bread ratio. Oh, absolutely. I reckon the best part is working out how much of that square of tip-top to take with each bite of your sausage. Whereas with a roll, oh my God, your first bite and possibly last

will be all bread. It'll be all bread. And that's just not pleasant for anyone. You know you're going to get a big bread bite in there. There's going to be not good ratios. Maybe some onion with bread, but no sausage in that. It's weird.

Dry bread with no sauce. Bunnings, manager of store operations for the state, Haley Coulson, she said, we surveyed customers, customers want the rolls.

They like it. So now the Bunnings, because they don't actually run the snag, Sizzle, tell the people coming in. Get the rolls. Make sure you have roles on offer. It might change here. Imagine that if we started seeing that.

Geez. I don't know if it would be well accepted. I don't know if it would be either. I can't believe that they've actually surveyed people and people enjoy that. I know. I've never done a bunning survey. Because if I did, I would say... I've never done it, but what was the last time you're at bunnies?

Well, stand by the last time I was at Bunnings. You'll find out tomorrow. Oh. Yeah. That's a... That's a... 24 hour in advance. It's not even juicy.

No. I'm going to cancel all promos. No, no. We're running a lot in this break. I'm from Perk. I'm going to have a goal with me. I'm going to take credit for him having bought your birthday present. I went to Bunnings and bought it.

Oh, that's my birthday. Yeah, yeah. Well, now I've had to reveal. I went yesterday. That's what I'm saying. You'll find out last time I went to Bunnings. What did you get me from Bunnings? What can I possibly want from Bunnings?

Well, I hope you like it. Yeah, geez. I'm not going to like it. I hope you have the receipt. Shut up 30% Turn in love Jess and Ducko in the morning

Jess and Ducko's 10K alpha bucks On hit Alfa bugs 30 seconds to answer 10 questions All started The same letter

Have to take your first answer You can not use the same answer twice And if you're on true of the question Just say pants We'll come back

Of course If there is time Today we have Fiona Good morning Fiona Good morning How are you Oh Fiona

We're fantastic Babs doesn't often do this, but can you tell us where you're calling from, please? I'm actually driving my truck from Wogger to Griffith to do a delivery. She's in the cab of the truck. Trucky. Or as my two-year-old daughter calls them cucks, which I'm like, we're working on truck. No, sweetie. No.

So we love a truck. Every time we see one. Yeah, the cucks. Every time we see a truck drive past, we always give them a wave and they give us a wave back. So we love... Can you give us a honk of the horn, Fiona? I don't have the big horn. I've just got a normal horn.

You have a little bit... Just real cliché of me. Full pass on that. Yeah, sorry. Oh, that's a hot pass. I'm so glad you asked because I was about it. We have to. We have to.

Fiona, what do you want to spend $10,000 on? I want to go on a holiday to Vietnam. Oh, beautiful. Nice. Well, there's one thing standing between you and booking your flights. And it is the letter N. N for naughty. Yep.

Okay, you're ready to rock? Am I allowed to use names? If the question calls for it, you can use names. Yeah, okay. Sure, yep. Your time will start after the first question. Are you ready? Yep.

Starting with the letter N, Fiona, we need you to name an ice cream flavour. Oh, Nutella. A female actress. Natalie Portman. A country. A nice. A five-letter word. Naces.

Technology brand. A past. An occupation? A rom-com. Yeah, we're not up with nieces. We'd also mucked up with Nis. Nice is not a country. It's in Italy.

France. France is, yeah, south of France. They're the beautiful part of the world. I've been to these, actually. Rock beaches, though. Do you know what my parents are doing right now? The Euro star over to France. There you go.

I reckon they're going to go to Nice. There you go. Oh, Fiona, sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry. Didn't do very well. You spent a long time on the actress. And you had her, too. Natalie, Paul.

A country could have been New Zealand, a five-letter word could have been noble. A tech brand could have been Nokia or a Nikon, an occupation, a nurse or a nanny. I think we'd just run out of steam there. You don't go away empty-handed, though. You do get a custom phone case thanks to Kaseify. Oh, beautiful. Thank you, Fiona. Thanks for joining the show.

Thank you. You'd be safe on the roads out there. Yeah, you be safe out there, Fiona. Thank you. Keeping this country moving, our truckies. Keep fighting the good fight, you know? Amen. Oh, next, though.

We've got to talk about something that I've always wondered about. How celebrities go we-wee for their singing and stuff on stage. Taylor Swift on a three-hour concert. Exactly. You know, her body control can't be that good. I found out. I found out after Somba. Have you ever wondered?

I don't know why. I've always wondered how. Like when you're Taylor Swift and stuff, do massive shows or your artists and they perform, surely they get the urge to go pee-pee. I feel bad. I've never thought of it until this moment. Maybe it's because I've done theatre shows before and I've had to do it before. And I've nearly missed my cue on stage coming on.

before having to run to the bathroom and then usually there's audio in the toilet so you can hear what's happening on stage. I think I assumed because of one black-eyed peas concert that I didn't attend, but a photo went viral of Fergie having wet herself. And she had urine all over her pants and you could see it. It was like a dark grey and it turned darker grey. I think maybe that locked in my brain, if they need to go pee-pee, they go pee-pee. Just do it on the stage. I can't imagine Taylor's doing that. You know, I can't...

Beyonce is certainly not doing that. No, I don't think so. Your boob's cut from a different cloth. Boob's isn't doing that. The baby isn't doing that. I never thought about it. Because they sometimes they perform like, I know the ERIS tour is three hours,

but a lot of artists perform for long periods of time. But also, regardless how long it is, it could be 90 minutes. Yeah, but you might need to lubricate, be having a bit of water. Lots of water. So you'd be thinking there would be an urge at some point. God forbid you need to come on and do an encore.

Hang on, I just need to be. That's why they do that. That's why they leave. chance on course. I can't make it any longer. They're just dropping a deuce. Like, oh, God. Could you imagine the pressure? Oh, the poo pressure? Geez. Anyway, so he's a TikTok pop culture lover called John Joseph, and he's posted a basically a video saying what celebrities do when they need to go to the toilet, including some big names. Here we go. At most concerts, there are two different dressing rooms for the artists, the one that they get ready in, and you see this dressing room

usually has a bathroom connected to it. And then there's a second dressing room that is usually under the stage so that the artists can do their quick changes there. Most artists have a pee bucket on stage in case they have to use the restroom. Artists like Katie Perry, the Jonas Brothers, and Kelly Clarkson have all admitting to doing this. Except for Kelly said she did not go pee and she absolutely destroyed a bucket one time when she ate some bad food before a concert. Kelly Clarkson did you shit in the bucket. See, Katie, the Jonas Brothers and Kelly?

Yeah. Yep. Yeah, that fits. You know what I mean? But your Mariahs. Could you imagine you're Taylor's. I just can't see. No.

I just can't say. There's zero confirmation of Taylor Swift. doing this. I don't think she would. But could you imagine, like, your shy guys, his stage managers, right? Just picture a shy guy, like, get the poo bucket for Kelly, get it for Kelly, and they're just bringing on. But he's so in tune with his artist. He can see, he goes, that's the poo face. She needs to poo. Poo bucket start. Pooh bucket for Kelly. Kelly drops a massive douce. Shagga's like, oh. You'd want someone stabilising the bucket as well. I don't have the quad strength to hover.

So I would need to like place myself down and hopefully someone's holding it. So it doesn't slip out from underneath me. Yeah. That's on someone's on Taylor's camp, right? 100% surely that's like the entourage well maybe she'd have the shiwi you never know oh you never know but for the boy i can see it's a lot easy for a guy to go off stage and we in a bucket oh absolutely when benson boon needs to go yeah he's not actually that sweaty doing back flips that's just that's why he's why he's doing the backflips that's why he's doing the backfliping yeah exactly anyway so i actually have a pee bucket that is so fascinating and it makes sense

if everyone's stage for a long period time the momentum and they're rolling like you said they got a hydrate with lots of water because literally putting a toilet there, it feels like it's doable if that's what your venue is for, but just eliminate the need. Because also then, you don't need plumbing, you just go tip it out in a sink. Wherever. Do you reckon Joe Jonas, who did

the other brothers, like, where's Joe gone? Nick's like, where's Joe? He's pissing again. Kevin's trying to do something real serious on stage. Kevin's slapping the base. Do they only have one bucket or three? Oh, that's one for the family. They cross-s-s huge crossing sword. What do you think the budget is? The other one needed to pee.

Mate, that family, I don't think that mind. No, well, then you spread your legs. Aimed through. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Resumet official 101 posted on their Instagram. I don't know why it came up in my feed, but it did. I'm not looking for a job.

I was going to say. I promise I'm not looking for a job. You're helping Pabbs with a resume. I realized, I want to give credit where credit's due, but I realized that sounds like I'm on Seek or LinkedIn. It does. It sounds like you're after something. I'm trying to enhance me resume.

I'm assuming that's what the feed usually is all about. But they posted. Six years, breakfast radio, skills. Chit chat Talking No but she posted The chick who runs the site How are we all surviving

A 40 hour work week guys Like what are your hacks Preach And I don't just Tell us how you're surviving Hey shagas Shut up We can tell you

That's it I can tell you You guys aren't cracking 40 Listen to me Well me none of us in this None of us in this Did I admit? We're close. Sorry, did I say I run a for...

I'm trying to help everyone. Pardon me for putting myself in other people's shoes. I'm, yeah, because we do what? We do a solid, like, 25. Let's not break down the numbers. Hey, hey, we're bookending. We're working at night too. Content never sleeps, nor do I.

Thank you. Every conversation I'm having outside of this could be content. That's why I claim everything on my tax return. I saw this and thought it might help others. pardon me for trying to help. How are we all surviving a 40-hour work week? Yeah, help shy guy and she goes on to say, I don't mean just meal prepping, you know,

to try and cut time down during the week. I'll want diabolical. I don't know how diabolical some of these are, but I thought I'd bring them to you if you are in this camp to help your work week. But I'll mean shy guy babs chip in at any time. Yeah, you guys jump on it. How many hours you're going to do?

36? 38. 35 and 40, I reckon. Show me where. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's on our stage. Our boss has access to it. He can show you the video.

I'm going to start locking these hours. Don't you just want to shadow them for a day? Yeah, I do, actually. I just want to shadow them for a day. That might be today. Today is their busy day, though. Today is the big day. Problem is if doco shadows us,

who just annoy us the whole time. Yeah, yeah, it's true. It actually helps our case. They were so annoyed the other day when I was here. Like, Babs was getting so, I mean, I was throwing Kinder surprises at that. Yeah, you throw a Kinder Surprise in my head. Yeah, but I was giving you all the presents in the Kinder Surprise. Okay, you were collecting.

You were collecting them. He was throwing them at you so you could get them. I was so bored. I was like, is this what you guys do? But then he kept poking his head over the desk going like, hey, Babs. Yeah, I'm still here. I know. What are you doing?

It's like I'm editing a podcast. When he's not here, which is most of the time, you should be efficient and all you did every five minutes ago. Is this what you do? Yeah, while I was eating and drinking a coffee. Where is everyone? I couldn't even turn my laptop on. It's so quiet.

While I'm trying to find the email with my contract. That he deleted. The only reason you have. A lot, but is it changed your password every six months? It's true, man. And then you forget and you call IT. Well, does this come on me? I'm not pretending to work being ours.

Yes, the heat is shifted. Do you want to hear any of these? How do they survive? What's in a nutshell? I mean, someone said, I make finger slingshots and shoot... That actually sounds pretty fun. And shoot spitballs up into the ceiling until my boss tells me to stop. Hannah's just entertaining us.

Babs is fun to throw things out. So I'm going to do that today. This one is for Babbs. Emma, you can take a leaf out of her book. How she survives the 40-hour work week. I take regular scream breaks in the work toilets. Scream. Cover my mouth so my boss can't hear and scream.

Oh, scream. No, you said scream. Screamer. Oh. Screamer. Go into the talk and scream. To vent my frustrations to get through the rest of my work day. Oh, that's good.

You know, some officers have those cubes that are soundproof. Yes. I've heard of people go into those to scream. Oh, and Phoenix said the way I get through, sometimes cry. See, Babs. Same says. Jess and Ducco Should I say who, where it was from?

I haven't asked them No, actually, I think I did say it's on the radio It was when I was getting a jacket the other week From my tailors From my tailors What a bougie sentence that was You got to love Rundals, mate They do the Lord's work

They look after you And one of the people in there told me A funny story He said an old guy came for a wedding Maybe in his 80s An older gentleman He's getting sued up He goes, I'm getting married

And they're like, oh, okay Oh, I love stories It's like this. An 80-year-old wedding. Yes. And how does that happen? How does that come about? So obviously they were asking him, how did you, you know, how this happened?

He said, well, I'm actually marrying the person who was with my brother. My sister-in-law. But my brother passed away. And so now we're getting married. So Dot married Frank. Yep. Frank died. Yep.

Now Dot is marrying Frank's brother, Paul. Now, Ducco, I'm going to ask you a series of questions. You may or may not have the answers to them because obviously you heard. this story secondhand. Yeah. How long has Frank been dead? I don't know. I didn't.

How cold is the grave? I asked him that. He didn't know either because I don't know if they asked. But I'm at that age, you have to think only a year or two max. You can't be, you can't be twiddling your thumbs at that age, can you? And then so many questions. Like, did she, like, did Dot always have a little thing for Paul? They're not twins.

They're brothers. Yeah. Who's the older brother? Who's the younger brother? Did no one think? Who's dead? Frank? If no one think Frank would die first

So she'd have to get divorced Yeah, I suppose you'd have to legally divorce And then marry the brother No, she's dead And then it's weird because She doesn't have to get divorced You don't have to get divorced If the person's dead

Who's going to sign the paperwork Did the birth, death and marriages To undo that marriage? No, dead is dead I don't know You can still be married to a dead person, can't you? Yeah, but when you go for your next marriage Hey man, I'm a celebrant

When you go for your next marriage You just have to show the death certificate You don't have to divorce What a cruel blow, you're dead and they get divorced. Divorce. Divorce. I don't know. I've never thought about it. When you find one, you can never remarriage, that's that, you know. Always attached. But this is the thing. Does she even love Paul? Well, does she just want some company for her final years? Does she figure

hubby number one, you know, was good in the sack, they're not too far away from each other, they're not getting any younger. They share a lot of genetic material. Yeah, exactly. And if she and Frank, Valet, have been together for 40 plus years. Yeah. They're And you stand to reason, she's known the brother for just as long. So they would have a nice friendship, a good relationship. That would be weird, getting intimate with the brother who you've known for that long. So I'm going to put you in these shoes. Yeah.

Your 80, Morgan sadly passes. Yeah. Do you look at her sister and go, well, let's go? I just don't think I could. Doesn't feel right, doesn't it? It would feel incestual, even though I'm not blood-related. It would just feel wrong. Yes, yes.

I don't know if I don't think, I don't think so. That's a bit of a hard no. Yeah, you'd be no. I don't think I could do it. either. Having said that, I'm not in their shoes. And at that age, you know, the rules get out of the window, don't they? Companionhip is key. Exactly.

And who's to say they even need to smooch? Oh, then why do you need to get married? You could just live together and friends. Yeah, yeah. Maybe is it a will thing? You know, there's a bit of money. Did Paul go, my brother was wealthy? I'm in, you know? So many questions, I don't have answers too, but I thought it was interesting. It absolutely is. And I wanted to do on 13, 1060, have you been through the family? Have you been through a couple of members?

Yeah, a couple members of the family. Can you relate to this? It doesn't have to be marriage. No, no, no, no. You take, oh, I smooched him, but then I married him. Yeah, I'll take that. Wouldn't you love, you know, your high school fling, maybe a bit of a sexy hookup, whatever it is, you lose contact. Then you get introduced to the family with your new partner. Hang on a minute, you look familiar.

I love that. Oh, that's a Hollywood film, if ever I've seen one. The juicer, the better. Did you not know? Were you out for a night out and you accidentally got with the brother? Was it a twin? Twins. Was it a twin situation?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to talk to someone who's been through twins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one twin better than the other. Exactly. Could you tell them apart? Did they try and play funny buggers on you? Did they do the switch?

Yes. If I was a twin, I would 100% do that. Of course you would. Intrapped the partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you take a way to you. You should know. You should know it's me.

You should know it's me. You should know it's me. I got you. Well, while you're here. 131060, you get the vibe. Yes. You've been through the family. It can be any age or stage.

What was the lady's name? Dot. Dot. Are you dot, Frank or Paul? Frank's dead. Give us a call. Jess and Ducko. Have you been through a couple of members of the same family?

Yeah. It doesn't have to be to the point you are marrying. No. A couple, like your story, Ducko, these elderly people, you found love. 80-year-old chap coming in for a suit fitting when they go, where was the suit fitting happening? Obviously at Rundles. No, no.

Oh, sorry. Your Taylor. My Taylor. Well, you know, they do great work. They absolutely do. They're your exclusive tailor. Yeah, it feels fun saying I have a tailor. No other tailor touches this torso.

I have a tailor next to my barber. It just feels fun to say. Now I want a tailor. Yeah, get one. It's fun. Anyway, they're like, oh, 80, you know, it's an older, you know, wedding good on you, how'd you meet? Basically, he was marrying his sister-in-law, or former sister-in-law.

His brother died, and now the sister-in-law is jumping from the brother to him. And we have so many questions about how cold the body is. Because at 80, you can imagine you're not twiddling your thumbs. You're not waiting around. At 80, you can imagine, geez, have they long held feelings for one another? Yeah. And is the dead guy looking down blessing? Is he liking or not?

Wanting his, you know, former spouse and brother to be happy in their later years. I'll tell you what, Angus does that to me. I don't have a sister. But I'd be haunting them for the rest of their dad. I can't imagine any siblings would look back and go, yeah, no, you know what? When I go, take my brother or sister. Take my brother or sister. It'd be fantastic.

But it begs the question, has this happened an iteration of it with you? Casey's called. Hi, Case. Hey, how are you? Yeah, good, babe. Have you been through? A couple of members of the same family? I have, but accidentally.

Oh, yes, the best. Go. So I started dating a guy. We met on plenty of fish and then just hit it off. And, you know, my sister messaged me one night and was really, really curious to know who he was, what he looked like. So we'd been dating about a month by this stage. Because then there's some photos.

And then I immediately got a phone call. She was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. And I'm like, you know, like, what's wrong? And she said, that's my ex-boyfriend. Like, you need to break up with him immediately. Like, this is not okay. You're my sister.

How did you not recognize your sister's ex-boyfriend? Had you never met him? I'd never met him, no. And it was seven years prior. Like, I didn't remember that she dated someone called the same name. Do you think he knew that you were his sister? He didn't. No, he had no clue.

And he didn't even remember her. But he remembers you, Casey. What are you doing that regard, Kay? Did you break up with him? Was your sister like, you cannot bring him back into the family? She was like that. And I was so conflicted. I'd ask my friends, like, what should I do?

and they're all just like, oh, it was seven years ago. Who cares? Slate queer. Give me a guy a month. Christmas will be awkward, but that's about, I can't see any other issues. She'll get over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, she's happy now.

She's got a married. A new partner. So did you continue? I did. Are you still with? No. Oh, so your sister got up her way. Yeah, but still continue for a bit. Yeah.

There you go. Thank you, Casey. Angie, hello. Hi, how are you? Yeah, so good, babe. Have you been through a couple of members of the family? No, it was not me. It was my dad's mother.

So your grandma? Yeah. Yeah, what was the situation? So my grandma was pregnant with her first child, and her husband passed away. Oh. And so his brother then stepped up and married, my grandma. Wow. And then they went on to have five more children after that.

Wow. Wow. With the brother. Did that first child, was that your dad? Or one of your aunts or uncles? No, it was my auntie. So my dad was the baby. So my dad used to tease his sister and go,

ah, you're my cousin. Well, that is, yeah, that's very close. Wow. I used to talk to my brother. You're adopted. You're adopted. Yeah, yeah. I was first.

Your dad isn't my dad. Was there any love with grandma and the brother at all beforehand? Did you ever ask? Were there any sparks? It was this just purely convenience. Like honor and, yeah. I asked my dad and he said when he ever asked it, my mum would, oh, his grandmother would throw something at him.

So he wasn't allowed to ask that question. It does feel very back in the day, doesn't it? It's like the right, quote-unquote, thing to do. But then they go on to have more children, you've got to assume there was some romance. Absolutely. Wild. We go to Nick on 13, 1060. Nick, have you been through a few family members?

Yeah, definitely an accident. Yeah, bull crap, anyway, keep going, Nick. Just before I dropped out of high school, I dropped out at year 11. I was dating this chick at the time. Ended up getting absolutely wasted at her place one night with a bunch of mates. And I don't really remember a lot of it, but I did end up waking up in her mum's days the next minute. Was the mum there next to you?

Hang on. Yeah, she was. No. You did not stifeless mum her. Oh, I did. What? And did she ever find out? Yeah, it was a, I don't know if I can say this, but it was a shit storm.

Yeah. Absolutely. That's the least problematic thing. Hang on, at what point did she find out? Because, like, if you're having the party at the house, it's not like you disappeared. You just didn't go to her room at the end of the night. So where did she think you went? And at what point did she find you?

Well, I woke up to my phone ringing And she, like, she'd gone out with her friends that morning to go get breakfast And she said to me, you know, did you go home? And I said, no, I'm at home. As she said that, she's walked into the house, opened up the mum's bedroom door and, yeah, off your uncle. What? Wow.

So she just assumed you ghosted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom, he's left. Oh, like, and, uh, who do you be more angry at there, though, Nick or the mum? Like, if you're the, you'd be marrying her at your mum, right? You'd be pretty annoyed at your mum for that. You'd be absolutely annoyed at your mum. Do you know what their relationships like now, Nick?

Oh, look, man, I moved out of that town a few years back. Yeah, but when I moved, it was, uh, it wasn't the best. Wow, what a story. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Thank you. We got a Lily. These are great.

Lily, um. I was going to say, I married the mother. Yeah, yeah. Lily, sorry. Hi. You got a twin story. How are you? You got a twin story, Lil.

I do. So I was dating one twin for about a couple of months, but he was really introverted, not happy. Like, this was back in the 80s at high school. And through that twin, I met the other twin, who we just clicked straight away. He bought flowers every day to school. We were together for like two and a half years.

Hang on. So you started dating twin, A. but you met twin B and went, you're way better. I'm going to jump ship. Yep. How was things between the brothers? And the identical twins, two different personalities. Yes, yes, you hear about that often.

How were things between the brothers? I mean, for two and a half years, you're going around to their place. He was fine. He was fine. He didn't care at all. He was really like just a, he didn't care. Like, he was one of those where the other one was. He was all into it.

I see, that's the problem. No passion. Passion. I care. We'll wrap it up here with Ash. These have been fantastic. Ashley. On 13-1060.

Hello. Have you been through the family? I have. You were just discussing my grandmother. Shut up. Who married the brother-in-law? Not yet. Wedding's coming up.

So this whole story's based off you. Hopefully you're fine with me talking about it on the radio. So can you, okay, okay. We've got questions. We've got questions. How did this happen? Um, I don't really know how it happened, but it's happening and everyone's very excited. Yeah, so it's all good, Ash, like how long, and sorry to hear, obviously, your grandfather passing away.

How long ago did that happen before the brother-in-law has got down on one knee himself? Pops been gone quite a few years. Okay. It's been a while. But did they ever, do you think your grandma and the brother now, your, well, the new? You're the new. Do you think they ever had any, you know, a little spark going on while they were alive? No, definitely not.

I think it's just a lovely story of companion in an older, yeah, an older age, just some companionship. And we couldn't be happy. I was so excited. I was going to pick up my bridesmaids dress next month, next week. Oh, that'll be fun. Who's the flower girl for grandma and grandpa's wedding, you know? Is it someone in their 40s? All of her girlfriends are the flower girl.

Oh, that's cute. And is it the full ceremony reception, everything, Ash? Oh, she's going. She's going full bride mode. Every conversation circles back to the wedding. Ashley, Ashley, who's planning the hens? Oh, yes. Penest rules.

We've been told that's off limits. Oh, okay. There's got to have some classes. We need some class about this. What I'm hearing is, we need to do the pole dancing class with Ash's grandma. Yes. For the hands. Do you bring up, does he get brought up in the speeches or anything like that?

You reckon? The granddad? Will there be any sort of tribute? Um, probably. Probably, but I'm not too sure. Okay. Well, thanks for the call you, Ashly. Good luck.

When's the wedding? Common base for us, I actually married my uncle's baby mama's brother. Hang on a minute. I've got to do a family tree. Okay, okay. Yeah, there you go. So your uncle, so you're what, mom or dad's brother? My mum's brother.

Your mum's brothers, baby. Baby mom's. Yep. Brother. So your uncle has a child with a woman. You're marrying that woman's brother. Mm-hmm. Wow.

It's all connected. Oh, you did? So you're currently married. 15 years, yep. Jeez. Is that how you met this person? Yes. Yeah.

Man, look at this family. This is amazing. Rules are out the window. Oh, Duck, I just want to, I want to throw the hens. I want to be involved. Do you need an MC? Ducco's a great MC? This is a celebrant.

I feel like this close. They would have had that. When's the wedding, Ash, for you? It's in October. We're around. Do you need a DJ? Can we come? I'm sure they would love for you to come.

We'll do a roll. Sick on the line. Babs is going to get your details. I'm very generous with gifts. I will hook them up with a honeymoon. Are they doing a honeymoon, Ashley? I hope so. I hope so too.

That would be gorgeous. That's wild. Well, thank you for calling in. Maybe we can organize an anymore. Yeah, we could do something. That's awesome. Thanks, guys. Thank you.

Stick around. Babs are going to talk to you. We're going to be in touch. Oh, my mind is blowing. Me too. We've got to get to the news. Oh, yeah, sorry. Jess and Ducko.

One second. Song, game. It's all in the title, isn't it? It is. Easy premise. I am on the tools here. You three versing each other head to head. Best out of seven.

And then I've got a tiebreaker if you need. We might get there. Who knows? I'm going to play one second of a song. You guys just had to identify the song, okay? Would you like name and artist? Yes. Oh, what do we do actually last week?

Title and Artis. I think Todd's got to be Tall and artist. Sure. And you can, you know, but you're only allowed one stab at it. If you mark it up, you're not to the other person. Babs gets the song title, but blanks on the name. Babes is like six on fire! Can I steal it off her?

The Jonas Brothers wrong. Yeah. You can roll in. Then you can roll in. Then you can roll in. All right. Kings of Leo. Okay.

Here we go. This first one should be, well, I don't know, I want to say. It's fairly easy and you don't get it. It looks like idiots. Here we go. Doja Cat, paint the time, red. Oh, there she is. I feel like I needed four more seconds.

I laugh. Okay. Here we go, here we go. Now, this next one is the easy. Okay, here we go. Song number two. Sexy back by Justin Timberlake. Oh, geez, that was it.

That was both of you. Tie. The tie. Okay. I'm going to go tie. So Babs is now on two. Shy guys on one. Jess?

I'm here. Here we go. All right. This one feels very Jess. Let's get loud, Jailo. No. Sorry. Abba dancing queen.

Yeah. Yes, Dungo. Help me. Help me. Let me win. Get to Abba dancing queen. Okay. Do more in the 70s and 80s.

These two won't. Okay, so Jess is on one. Babs is on two. Shagai is on one. Next song. Oh, that's take me to church by hosier. Bang. It's a Babs song, baby, but I don't know. We're all very coded in our music. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are. Okay, all right. What about this one? Oh, Rush, Truisovan. Oh, geez, that's, jeez. I can null and void there. You both got it. Currently, Babs is on three. Shagga, Shagga, will. Four. Shargo's on two.

Jess is on one. I feel like Babs got an unassailable lead, but let's just keep playing because it's a bit of fun. Look over there, Babs. Mark. What about this one? Oh, crazy, Baddow. She's good. She's taking it. Goodness of me.

All right, what about this? She's one. Put one hand behind your back. Let's do this just because I want to see who would get this. This is hard. This is level extreme. Okay. Hey, that's a fun premise. Let's do that. Yeah. Oh, that's Blondie. Call me.

Oh, my God. God, wow. Can you say your screen out there? Wow, I didn't think you'd get that. I thought it was going to be well out of your wheelhouse. And that's not modern. Like, she knows our oldies as well. Yeah, great song, though.

Yeah, watch out, guys. Geez, Babs is here. We found Babs' game, I think. We did. Okay, all right. Jogga is hating it. Yeah, I'm impressed. Jess and Ducko.

Death and Ducko. Our list has come out of the sporty. cities ranked amongst the entire planet. Wow, okay. Who holds the sportiest city? Now, this is a list that's been done by global consultancy Burson. It does it every year. It identifies cities around the world that have the strongest association with sport.

Okay, globally, you can assume there'd be a couple of Olympic host cities in there, I assume. Yes. They've got to count as sporty. Yes. Or like just per capita, who are the best athletes in the world? Well, I think it's like who loves sport, maybe the accessibility. of the stadiums, the watching of sport. I presume playing.

It's sort of a bit vague on that. Well, I mean, Burson, they're not known for their detail. Burson, I'll know of their detail. They're a bit more general. I'll give you the top five, and then I'll give you the Australians. Oh, okay. So number five was Madrid. I've visited Madrid.

I don't remember being particularly sport. A lot of bikes. Football. Of course. Number four was London. Number three being New York, which, you know, that's... I mean, they've got a marathon. Yeah.

Okay. Number two was Los Angeles, LA, and then number one, party. Is that, it's funny, I brought up Olympics. Is that just because they hosted the last Olympics? Maybe it was a lot. Which doesn't mean they're all sporty. Like, that was a lot of international athletes, obviously. Yeah, it's based on both perception and in-depth quantities analysis,

including feedback from the international sports leaders, sports media representatives, and industry experts. I guess it's people within the bees, isn't it? So, in Australia, which city do you think in Australia, has the highest ranking. I mean, it's got to be Melbourne, right? I would have thought so. They have the most stadiums.

They have the most, like, footy teams. I would have thought so. At least AFL team. They've got the tennis. Anything that big sporting events come. They've got a Grand Prix. They've got a Grand Prix. They're getting an NFL game next year for the opening round of the NFL.

Like, anything that goes sporty goes to Melbourne. However, no, Melbourne didn't. So, giving it to you, right? The Gold Coast made the list. It came in at 57th. All right. Sorry. they think Gold Coast is more than Melbourne.

No, no, no, no. Just bear with me here. Oh, sorry. You're in Australian cities. My fault. Buildings are spent. I'm working. Oh, sorry.

57th. Yeah, Gold Coast, 57th. Melbourne came in 32nd. That's still a lot of cities above Melbourne. Sydney came in 28th. And the winning city for the most sporty city in the entire country was Brisbane. Brisbane.

Brisbane. Edged out Sydney. Now, I don't know. It didn't even just, it edged out Melbourne. I know. I don't even know. And surely Sydney doesn't edge out Melbourne. I don't know if this is because Sydney's hosted a more recent Olympics than Melbourne.

True. And Brisbane's about to host the next one. Ah, yes. After LA. Uh, yes. Again, people who have been interviewed for this survey are in the world, right? So they would be thinking, well, what's going on in those cities sport-wise? So Brisbane's...

They should know about the Grand Prix is massive. Brisbane's officially Australia's number one sporting city. And sorry, globally, where did it rank? Brisbane. Yeah. Globally, it was in the top 20. It was in the top 20. And Melbourne's never made the top 20.

Yeah, Brisbane also made it in the last two years in the top 20. Melbourne's never made it at all. What's bizarre, right? It's industry like professionals, the people within sight. Exactly. Makes no sense. I don't want to question the hell of the stadium. Do you say Burson?

Burson. Yeah, Burson. I don't want to question them, but I think they're wrong. Yeah. You're a good Melbourne-Earnian local. Absolutely. Yeah. I've watched a game.

at the G. Anzac Day game. I would have thought... I mean, Melbourne does have all the big ticket sporting events. Absolutely. I would have thought Melbourne would take it out. But, you know, hey, Brizzy. Next time you're going to give me a list of, like, the best cafe culture.

Melbourne won't make that list either. And then we can throw it all into disrepresent. Should we play Alphabucks though? We should. We've got $10,000 to give away. 13, 1060. 10K for grabs. We'll get you on.

Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko is 10K. If you have 30 seconds, answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass. Of course, we come back if there's time. Now, you know we're playing for 10K.

We've had some average players last couple of weeks. So, Samantha, will you change that? I certainly will. Samantha, we called a couple of people the chosen one. Our radar was a little bit off. So we're not going to put that pressure on you. You're just here to do your fang. I'm just here to just be Zen.

Chosen one. Maybe I am that one. Maybe. It might be, but don't put that pressure on you. No, no, no. Just do you. Just came to have a go. Yeah.

What do you want to do with 10 grand, babe? I'm starting a business. So that'll go nicely. Fantastic. What sort of business? Cosmetic injectable. Okay. All righty.

Well, 10 grand would go a long way for a start up. Yes, it would. The letter you're going to work with today, we're going to Vowel Town for you. It's going to be E. Okay. Perfect. E for exciting news about your new business. Okay?

Yes. All right. Let's go. Your time will start after the first question. You ready? Yes. Starting with letter E, Sam. We need you to name.

A breakfast food. Egg. An international city. England. A musician. Eve. An online store. Evo.

A five-letter word. Every. An accessory. Earrings An adverb Exciting A girl's name Evelyn

A type of bird A horror movie Oh no Hell of a player Hell of a player However look we got ourselves Is adverb exciting I know

Is that I know I got stuck on that Excitingly So we would have got that one wrong But also an international city Is not England It's not England. No, we were looking for Edinburgh or something like that.

I mean, I can see why the brain goes in that sort of situation. You were a very good player, though. There was some tricky ones in there, and you really drilled a lot. That's okay. I would say, Samantha, you've been the most chosen of the ones we've had recently. Couldn't agree more. You were chosen. How many did she get in the end?

Well, six. You were chosen to get six. Six, six could have been seven, could have been eight. Better than 50 cents. That's it. That's it. It's a B-minus. You went through eight as well.

You don't go my empty-handed, Sam. You get yourself a custom phone case, all thanks to caseify. Perfect. Thank you so much, guys. Thank you, Sam. Good luck with the business. Yeah, thank you. Bye.

You're welcome. We play again tomorrow at 6.30 and 8. We'd love this to go off soon. Doesn't your mum keep bugging you about getting Botox? Yeah, in the forehead. You should keep Sam's details. I don't want it because I like raising my eyebrows for expression. What, have expression, mom.

I like being expressive. How old my daughter laugh at me now, you know? Oh, if you're stone face. I know. I don't want to be able to move them. Exactly. Yeah. I know.

She's been saying that to me for like five years. You know, I remember those early days. And I can't imagine she's let up, you know, as you've gotten older. It's not as if she looks perfect. Okay, let's not have a go with your mum now. You know, she's having to go out of me. You know, come, mum. You're getting talks too?

Oh, just joking. You're beautiful how you are. Up next, so another chance of the call of fame. Night State of QT. That's right. I've got another great phone topic. We're talking creepy, crawly story. Oh, yeah.

Jess and Ducko. Talking on 13, 10, 60, creepy crawly stories. We're ducking over to bravia, South Germany. Jeez, it's been a long time. My bad. My apologies. Not Bavaria. That sounds more like it.

Clearly. You got tibis on the mind. Never been there. Never been there. Never seen her in there. It's been a long while between Crenskys. Bavaria. Bavaria.

Where's Bavaria? Well, South Germany, obviously. It's kind of like a region. Bavaria. Sorry to any of our German listeners. I know we have a couple of those. a pork knuckle in too long. Jeez, Louise, that wasn't great for me.

I've been to Munich and I've been to Berlin. That's my German knowledge. What I'm hearing is you've chosen not to go to Bavaria. What do you got against Bavarians? Bavaria. Put Italian. You did go a bit Italian. Anyway, we're here for a horrible reason.

Police were called to investigate a poor house of these 30-year-olds who kept getting their door rung. Now, they suspected it was called Klingenstrike, aka ding-dong ditch in German. Yes. punks in the neighbourhood constantly harassing them.

So apparently it's happened three nights in a row. The first night was just once and it was after like nine o'clock. And they thought, oh, what's going on? Went out, no one was there. Okay, just some punks doing

clean insomac today! So then after that, I'm losing nailing my pronunciations. You are. The next night. You've made up for the bravary. I have. Yeah, I've got the German listeners

back on side. It's because of that time you went to Munich. Yeah. I went to Octoberfest. Good times. Oh, hot damn. Good times.

Yeah, great stuff. Anyway, having to get the next night, right? Is it getting later now? Later? And the first time there's more of a prank. When the third night had happened in a row, it was non-stop. It was constant, but they were looking in their camera and they realized no one's there. Geez, these punks are fast.

These punks are. No one's there. So what they do? They call the police, obviously, as you do. Yeah. Get these twerps. When the police came, because this was after 10pm now, the police came, they couldn't find anyone either. When they looked down and they realized that you could see a snail,

and it was actually a snail that was. crawling over their doorbell and it continued to ring it. So they're dusted for fingerprints and gone, it's not showing up any human fingerprints. What it is showing up is a trail of slime. Slime goo, yes. I think it's a snail. The residents police discovered the slug

traversing the door entry panel and you could see the slime trail over the sensors and then the slime trail was like just on the sensor so the sensor was just non-stop. But what, not being caught by the camera? Not being caught by the camera. So the slime's gone over, snail's gone. Saneers just going non-stop. That's a cheeky snail.

Because I know we were talking about punk kids. I think that's a punk snail. That's a punk snail. Who's been dead by his snail mates. Maybe he's like a bit of a nerd. And he wants to fit in with the cool kids. And the cool kids are like, alright, I, say that house. Go do it.

Go ring the doorbell. It took him three weeks to get there. Then he got there. He's going to make it worth his while. Absolutely. But begs the question, what's your creepy crawly story? I mean, I had a mate, you know that, who had a cockroach in his ear. I've talked about that before.

Yeah, that's how I've told you about my grandma who woke up to little feelings on her face in the middle of the night. turn the light on and an egg nest had hatched and all the baby spiders were falling on his face. Yaw! That's yucky. That's disgusting. You'd take a ding-dok and ditched snail of a baby spider. You would absolutely take that. Creepy cruelly, Shaga.

Yeah, I had a cockroach in my bed once. It was, I just got into bed, turned on the TV, and I felt something on my leg. I pulled up a blanket and there it was. And was it freaked out. And was a biggie with a giant antenna? Did you let it at least? Did you tuck him in at least? Well, I had to like find it.

I had to like rummage. off all the sheets and I couldn't, I think I stopped it on the lounge. I wouldn't have been able to rest until you can see the decapitated cockroach. Remember we had the spider in our car on the drive home from Gold Coast into New South Wales? Yes. It was a long drive and we were hung over and there was a spider coming in out of the air vent. Oh my God. It's like, that's the spider's car now.

I was like, honey, just steer off the road. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Yeah. Let's take a torch to it. So 13, 1060, to our German listeners and to everyone in between. Where specifically in Germany? Creepy, cruelty stories. Bavaria.

That's right. And in Australia We've got a lot of creepy crawlies Heaps of cruelly We're the creepiest crawley of the countries Amen What do you got for us? Jump on, get involved

Jess and Ducco Creepy crawly stories In Bavaria, of course And I've been, my apologies I've been to Bavarian beer houses before So you should have known I just hadn't seen it ring down properly Bavaria, one of the oldest places in Germany

Also known for its Catholic heritage and conservative traditions Of course You didn't need to look that up You knew you, dad. Once you were actually thought about it. Yeah, yeah, I got it. I know so many Bavarian facts.

And I know a lot of Bavarians. They're big listeners of this show. What are their names again? On listener. Claude. I'll shout out to Claw. Yeah, there's a few. Thanks for tuning in, Claude.

There's a few Claws. Claude and his extended family. Yeah, Claude. We appreciate you. Thanks for ticking the box. Anyway, we're here in Bavaria, Southern Germany, of course. Love their Catholic stuff. Because police are investigating.

Relentless. of a doorbell of a late-night couple. They thought it was Klingen Tric, which was a bell prank, aka Ding-Dong Ditch, when they really discovered, they got the police there, they were worried. They realized it was a snail crawling over the door sensor and the slime dew from the snail, like juices, had just been covered completely over the sensor.

You're calling the cops for Ding-Dong. Well, they were scared, because it was constantly ringing, and they were like, no one's there. So then they said, we need to call a cop-com. They should have called Ghostbusters. Also, just open the front door and have a look out. I know. They must have just stayed in.

You're Bavarians. You built a stronger stuff. Yeah, you are. Don't be wasting the cops time. I thought you meant to call the police in an emergency. Yeah. Not someone's ringing my doorbell. What are we doing?

And then it's a bug. How embarrassing. Could you imagine being those Bavarian police? Like, I signed up for this, huh? Also, do you wonder how stories like this make it to Australia? Yeah, how does it go viral? Who took this to the press? For it to come across Ducko's desk?

For me to mispronounce the place it's from. It's a full circle moment. Beggs the question, though. Creepy crawly stories. We go to Louise. Good morning, Louise. Good morning Hello

What's your creepy crawling story Hi So I'm driving to work this morning Come around a corner And the sun's in my eyes Put the whiz The sunflap down And a huntsman drop

No No Not a Not hiding in your sun flap No You know that thing I don't know what it's called The sunbiter

No no no It's sunflap The visor Yeah that sounds good like that Did um Then when it'll it go at your feet Where did it go? Oh, in your lap.

I don't know. My knees touched my ears. Thank God there was no car in front of me. So I pulled over. To this day, I never found it. I got home and I sprayed that car. It was the worst drive home. Oh, Louise.

Oh, a big huntsman too. And they're so fast. They are. He was just waiting for Louise. Yeah, here I am. And you're flat. And on 13, 10, 60. See, at least the Bavarian snails are out in the open.

Our huntsmen are hiding in the flaps. I'm in the flaps for your list. And, hello, sorry. Hi, hi, guys. How are you? Good, Anne. Look, I'm a bit creeped out. Yeah, I like creepy, crawly stories.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I think this might even just creep out a little bit more. When my son was younger, who was laying in bed, and then one night he complained and he goes, Mom, something's crawling on me. And I went, well, it must be just like a spider or a cockroach. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine. Sorry, don't worry about a spider or a cockroach.

Toughen up. Toughen up, princess. Yeah. Anyway, so we would just say, and he goes, no, it weighs more than, you know, it weighs about five kilos, Mom. And I went, no, it doesn't, mate. You're delusional. Anyway, my husband come home from night shift and we're telling him about this.

Anyway, he found the culprit sitting up in the kitchen bench. It was a rat. Oh. So the tail was moving around on my son's face and goes, I told you it. And at what point... How old's your son in this experience? He was probably about 12. 12?

I mean, surely you believe in a 12th. No, because he was a bit of a storyteller. There you go. And it's like, oh, I've had enough of your BS. Yeah. I'm not entertaining this. A rat. That is gross.

It's fantastic. Emma on 13, 10, 60. What's your creepy, cruel story? Morning, guys. When I was about 10, I was brushing my... teeth and I couldn't quite get to the bottom, my bottom teeth and I had a big leach in my mouth.

Sorry, how did they get in there? How'd you not know? Do you live in the road forest? We lived on a property which had a dam so I think I had been swimming during the day. With your mouth open and had it. Well, maybe. 10-year-old made silly decisions.

I've had a couple of leeches in my time. Never in my mouth. They're gross and they're hard to get off. Could you not feel it sucking the inside of your gums? No, I don't think so. I honestly think I just didn't notice it. And then what'd you do, put it down the sink? I think we put salt on it, which is terrible. Salt kills them.

Yeah, because how's she getting in there to? How does you not feel that you like? Oh, Mom, I can't rush my time. Yeah, Mom, that's fantastic. A leech in there. Oh, Nikki, hello. Hello. What's your creepy crawly story?

A bit like Louise, except for I was called to my husband who had just a I had a massive motorbike crash and had broken his back. So I was running up to the hospital. And it was about 11 o'clock at night. So I'd missed him. So I had to stay at a friend's house. I drove up the driveway. So before I drove up the driveway, I was on the freeway.

And this thing came down from my sun visor. And it was just hanging there in the glare of the lights coming to me. And I was like, this is a massive spider. I was so freaked out, drove straight up the driveway. And I was so scared. I jumped out. It was a steep driveway. Didn't put my handbrake on.

Oh, no. Car rolled all the way backwards, hit the trees at the bottom of the driveway, and it was a ride off. Oh, my God. Did you see what kind of spider it was? Was it at least big? We couldn't find it, but it was massive,

and it was just dangling there, and I didn't know if it was a huntsman or if it was something scary. But it was, I was scared. Oh, my God, that's another critter hiding in the sunflap. It's a horrible day for the family for Nikki. That is. He's a horrible day, like in hospital,

right off the car. because there was a spider. Like, that is just bad luck. Just going to the hospital and next day to break it to your husband. Like, ah, it gets worse. Jess and Ducko. Do you get as excited as I do when you spot your partner in the wild? Like you didn't plan on bumping into them, but you do.

Yeah, it hasn't happened to me much. Okay. I guess now particularly your wife's on Matley. She's on Matley. She's home all the time. You know where each other is, probably a lot. She's just waiting at the door for me like, obviously with a gin martini she's old school for me

I get so it's like a kid on Christmas man like it's infrequent I'll be honest but it happened yesterday Ducko I was driving past I know where my husband works obviously but he could be bouncing around a few different venues

and if he's inside I clearly don't know his I can't see him but even seeing his car sometimes I go and I text him Yesterday I used my Apple car player I go just saw the goose's car

car on the street Toot to Yesterday though As I'm coming up Oh my God That shock of blonde hair He's on the street He's on the phone

I've spotted my soulmate in the wild Doing deals This is so exciting Was he on an important call Was he just like I don't know at this point I just see he's on the phone Okay

So I drive on past There's not many people behind me So I slow down Roll down the window, big grin, ready to be greeted. And he gives me the up nod and nothing else. Just like a... Like sup. Just a bit of a sup nod.

Ah, sup. Continues his phone call. And did he look away then? Sort of. But I also didn't stop. I'm in motion. I'm in motion. But I slow down.

I'm on a busy row. No, because he's on the phone. I didn't want a horn. And you know how I feel about the horn. I don't like a horn. He gave me bupkas. Did you yell anything at it? Well, I was going to, but obviously wanted to acknowledge when he's on the phone, so I just wanted to acknowledge.

He gave me no light in the eye. I presume your daughter was in the back seat. No, no. She's with the, she's with the grandparent, so it's just me. Yeah, yeah. I was. I'm surprised you didn't pull over, then he'd go, hey, hello. Well, no, because then I was.

You're annoyed. I was, well, not annoyed. I was hurt. Yeah. I went, that's the love of my life, gave me nothing. What was his excuse? And then I'm waiting, Ducko. Yeah.

Well, I better get a phone call or a text. Sorry about that, yeah. Two minutes goes by, three minutes goes by, four minutes goes by. I'll get home by this point. I went, he hasn't even acknowledged. Maybe he's still on that phone call. So I text him. Well, that was deflating.

Yeah. He calls me immediately. He's trying to tell me. I just don't. I just don't. I was on a very serious call. Right. And this is where I don't like what he did.

He tried to use some reverse logic. I apparently taught him years ago. Yes. When you smile, that smile and warmth translates through your voice. It's something we learn in writing. I don't know if someone ever told you, but smiling genuinely makes you sound. If someone can't see you smiling, you can hear it in a voice.

He said, if I'd smiled at you, the person on the other end of my phone call, and they were having a stern convo, would have heard me smiling, and thus it would have impacted the efficacy of the focus. phone call I was trying to have. Did you compromise his phone call? Did he say, he's trying to say, I couldn't compromise it, I couldn't smile at you, I had to stay stone-faced. He goes, I gave

you the nod. I went, that is not acceptable. You're the love of my life and I'm saying you taught him that if you smile. So I couldn't. I couldn't risk putting us. Remember that you said that once and gone, this is how I'll do it. Because I'll be honest. This is how I'll get around this. I'm not sure what you think we talk about. It's not something

that comes up often. Apparently I said it once. That would have been years ago. And he was implementing that in that moment, allegedly, that's why he gave me donuts on the street. Did you hear what the subject of the call was about? I did. Was it important? Yeah, it was.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Very important for his business to have taken that call. You can still do like a, like a, and then look frazzled and go like, point to the phone. Like, just, I'm sorry, you know. Yes, for anyone who obviously can't see, ducker, arms are up. They're emotions. Thank you. There's, even, I noticed what you did with your eyebrows, a high eyebrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there you are. My shock, my love of my life, but I'm just an important call. Because I know he deals with a lot of crap. But in that moment, I thought I would have usurp all crap. Yeah, well. So I mean, you get excited to see him in the world. Does he get excited to see you in the world?

Evidently not. Well, this is an interesting one. Because you know what I think, though. Talk to me, Ducker, because I've come to you for perspective. You often help me see his side. Well, he might have been on an important call. I do think the nod is, it's a bit of like a, like, you know, your husband. He wants to look, you know, it wants to look presentable and cool.

Yeah. So you're probably getting excited. He's just like, sup. Like, I'm just, you know, nothing. I am the sillier of the two of us. Yeah, I'm not. He didn't want to get embarrassed, you know? But I'm in the car. I know.

Oh, you're right. I'm in the car. He's on the street. Does he look like a crazy person? To the strangers, you know what I mean? There's probably no one even watching. I flashed him. I have flashed him.

If he's driven past and I'm the one on the street, I lift a... Like, I'm happy to do that because that's my soulmate. And then the guy from the cross side's like, oh, hello. Our neighbors are always on the street now. We're cheering in the back seat. It's like, what? I go above and be off my soulmate. No.

In the wild? Would you have wanted him to flash you? I would have loved him to fly him. It's a bit more aggressive when you're doing the downstairs flash as a bloke. Just a nipple. I'm surprised he didn't do a U-turn and try again. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would have been a good idea.

I was too hurt. I don't know if I can defend him in this instance. Thank you. I finally got you on my phone. I feel as though you could have at least done the eyebrow, point to phone, then you go, okay, something's happening. Yeah, give me a frantic wave. You don't need to smile with a wave.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. I feel justified in my annoyance, and I reckon that'll continue for another 24 hours now. Jess and Ducco. Fab, been a great show so far. Big shout to everyone who got involved with 13, 10, 60. We love it. We love the contributions.

Oh, we love it, all right. Oh, my God. It's been hard today, harder than any other day this week. There was, honestly, six or seven people who could have given this go forward to. I wanted to give to everyone, but Bab said we can't. I know. She only secured the five rooms of the QT for this week of fun. Yeah.

So unfortunately, we've had to make a hard decision. Yep. All the people who'd been through Members of the same family. Big shout to all of them as well. I mean, they were just so good. So wonderful. But earlier this hour, we talked about creepy crawly stories

after a cheeky German snail was causing havoc. Yep. Police had to get involved for ding-dong ditching. In Bavaria. Nick, very good. Nikki called up. Yeah. Nicky said her husband had broken his back in a motor crash.

Motorcycle crash. She didn't make for visiting hours, so she's had to go to a friend's house. As she pulls into the very steep driveway, Huntsman falls out of her sun flap, scares her to the point she just exits at the vehicle. Left on the toilet driveway, no handbrake on. And it rolls back, crashes into a tree, right off.

Must have put it in park. And then the car is a ride-off. So when there's her husband broken his back. You don't have time to put it in park when there's a spider dangling from your sunflap. They then wouldn't have a car. His motorbikes are right off. Her car's a ride-off.

Oh, you're so right. Hello, bus. Oh, hello train. Anyway, she's winning to call fame. Well done to that. You enjoy yourself. Absolutely. But also, again, I don't think I'll ever not think about the young lady who said you had a leech in her mouth like half a day.

Leach in the mouth cleaning her teeth is great. And only discovered her when she's brushing her teeth of a nighttime. That's fantastic. That's a new fear unlocked. I didn't realize that could happen without you being very aware of it. The guy who got with his girlfriend's mom. I mean, this is the people we got today. It's been fantastic.

You missed a grab on a listen. We love, appreciate and respect all of you. Hey, we don't judge. It makes us better, don't you think? If you're willing to share that, well, let's open up all the closets. Let's just do it. No questions ask, no judgment passed. Which means tomorrow is our last co-fought.

It is. Yes, it is. It's Friday. It's Friday tomorrow. One team member's not going to be here. Take any absolute pierce. Oh, that's right. It's not sure I go, me or you.

Nope. We are going to celebrate your birthday, Ducco. And Babs went, don't want to be a part of it. I don't want to be a part of it. Classic. That is not what happened. Well, who books a Melbourne weekend on his birthday? I didn't realize it was his birthday.

That's even worse. You didn't even care enough to check if it was his birthday or not? How do you not know? How's it not marked in your calendars circled in there for all your housements to see? I'm sorry. To be fair, I forgot it was my birthday too. And my birthday's actually on Saturday, not tomorrow. But we've got to celebrate.

I know. Do we move by celebration of Monday so baddest can be here? Nah, it feels Friday. Yeah. Well, how about we'd you do both? We could do both. Double present. Double down on what you're getting me.

We'll split the bag of sour worms, some for Friday, some for Monday. Let's do that. So I picked up the free Woolworth's catalogue yesterday. You know what's the bloody advertised page one? What's that? Oreos stuffed with sour worm cream. That would be hectic. I thought of you straight away.

I went, I wonder if the duck man would like this. I don't know if I would. That sounds too much. And it's like fluoro green, at least in the imagery. Well, it would be pretty fun. You've gone to the shops for the rest of his stuff today. Like, I get him a packet of those. I do track down.

Track that. What are you getting me? Let's get me stuff that I'm going to use. No, no, they, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Okay. All right. We're not going to wait. And we have to pay for this.

This isn't all the boss of credit card. Oh, what? We're paying. Guys, you don't have to do it. We'll get you the receipt. Yeah, it's all great. Refund it for cash. You can invoice up.

I look forward to my Bunnings present that you guys have got me to know. Something to go with the hat. The bunnings, a Kubra. We got you for Father's Day. Okay. All right. Make sure you're here tomorrow. I'll be here.

I'm going to pull a sickie. You might get my birthday leave in. Shagai, you and me, baby. All of us need to cash that incident. Yeah, we do. The birthday leave. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about this whole fair, hey.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. Hey, enjoy Melbourne Babs this week for your gals trip. Thank you. I will. You're going to answer the phone tomorrow, Shogar. Yeah, we might get producer Shorts in maybe. I haven't talked to him yet.

Does that mean? Does that mean Shorts gets to bat up a banger? I think it does. No, I still want to do it. No, if you're not here, you're out. I think Schwartz gets to do it. There's been times when Ducko hasn't been here and he's still that out. No, I was sick.

And you guys still messaged. I was going to come in, but the boss didn't let me. No, no, exactly. No, you, you see ya. Yeah, I actually reckon if you choose to miss Friday, you choose to miss Bangor. That's right. Okay, fine, wonderful. Oh, you're so car.

She's going to go talk to Shorts, being like, back this song up. Shorts is pretty good. Shorts is pretty good. Shorts loves his music, so he'll have some good ones. Absolutely. All right, I think it's in. Shorts is coming in. I mean, again, he's only learning of this in real time with everyone else.

Babs and shorts can't do it. You still don't get to do it. Yeah, nice. And it's a three. Okay, I get it. Anyway, we're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye.

Bye. Here I am in your flat. Jess and ducco. That was the Jess and ducco podcast. Take a trip to McDonald's today and try the new McDonald's meal with one of six collectible souvenirs.