Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I like a little bit of pulling

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

We talk kookie things, ask what ruined the event and the gods are shining down on Jess!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the cafe's new blend today. Smoother, bolder, better. I'm loving it. Jess and Dago! This is the Jess and Dago podcast. Hi everyone and welcome to the podcast. Oh, I've got to say I don't know where we can go from here after the end of the show. Yeah, it was fun.

Just moments ago. It was fun talking about using a bath plug on my anus in your husband's bath, which, you know, obviously everyone does it. Oh, I guess he's literally in the car taking our dog who has blood in his urine to the vet but I wonder if I just text him going hey how would you feel? Doug is coming over for a bath later, he's got one but he just wants to test yours out. No but Babs is gonna be using yours, so it's only fair that you use mine. Yeah yeah yeah.

Shy guy bath or no bath? I don't like the idea of baths. Yeah you're not a bath guy? No. Do you have a bath in your house Babs? I do. It's well technically it's like a shower bath. My favourite type. See I am hesitant. You put the plug in and you have a shower and then you can sit down and it's a bath you let it out a bit you stand up it's a shower. Yeah but I think it's kind of germy that my housemates shower in there and like so I just never use it. That's we wash our dog in the bath.

Yeah. Do you ever sit on the shower floor? Not, I haven't since I lived at home. Oh, true share houses. For some reason I feel a bit weird about sitting on the floor when the girls have been using the shower and like the partners and stuff. I don't know why. Do you have one bathroom?

Yes. Three bedroom, one bath. Yeah. That's tough. And then it's just like the girls shed so much, like their hair is like everywhere. And I'm just like, I'm, I'm not gonna sit on there. Your shedding's already happened. You wish you could shed.

You're trying to grab their hair and put it back in your head. Please keep this up. She's making exceptions. Can you girls dye your hair blonde? I grew up with a shower bath all my life. Our family house had one. How many bathrooms did you, cause you had three kids, obviously two parents. Me and my sister shared a bathroom all the time.

Oh, and your parents had en suite. Yeah, shower bath. And then, yeah, now. Yeah, me and my sister shared a bathroom. Oh, and your parents had en suite. Yeah. Yep. Shower bath. And then, um, yeah, now I've just got a separate bath and a separate shower. But God, I miss the shower bath days. Oh, is that funny? I hate the shower. Oh, so nice.

So the Renno we're doing, our bathroom is small. And I was like, can we get rid of the bath shower? And our interior design friend was like, not without now having your toilet basically in the shower. There's no room to have both. And with children around yada yada, you need a bath. A bath is great for kids. Great for kids.

Cause then you turn the shower on and it doesn't fill up as quick. Exactly. Exactly. So nice. Yeah. I might have a bath this afternoon. Lovely. No, I kind of want one.

Yeah. Or someone would have a bath. Maybe I just bleached the shit out of the floor. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Or just, can you bring a little stool in and sit on that? Would you wear your swimmers? Maybe. It's not the same.

I have had a bath in there before, but I bleached the floor before I did it. Are you a germaphobe? I don't know, I think so. I didn't realise, but you actually probably could be. Yeah, I don't really like things. How do you go with kissing? Do you find kissing gross? Tongue kissing, even with like kissing? Do you find kissing gross?

Like tongue kissing, like even with your partner? Not really, not kissing. You just don't really do it. But I can't deal with like bodily fluids and like I just don't like, I don't know, I don't like sharing food with people or anything. If I offered you a drink, if you were really thirsty. No. Even with your partner? Because you had your mouth on it. Even my sister's. Oh,ethro, no I'll let him drink out of my drink bottle.

Yeah, okay. But like. Because you don't fill your things with him, so you make one drink out of my bottle. Golden showers with him. Oh, come on. Oh, joking. I just offered Babs my drink bottle that has the spout. Yeah, yeah.

Just as a test. I wouldn't drink out of your drink bottle. And I've just looked in it. Jesus Christ, don't put your mouth on it. Yeah. How often do you wash your drink bottle? I've been washing mine like once every three weeks and it's not good. I leave my drink bottle. I'm such a child

I leave my drink bottle by the side of the sink every Friday and just hope Angus cleans it But sometimes it's still there come Monday. I'm like You didn't do it I didn't clean it Why didn't you find my stuff and why didn't you do it and why didn't you clean it? By the way, because you tell a story in the show today about how you found your Well, how I was, the microphones were lost. No one could find them And you annoyed him for not looking hard enough. tell a story in the show today about how you found your microphone. The microphones were lost.

No one could find them. And you annoyed him for not looking hard enough. Did he look in the car? Duggo, I genuinely had to be like, what's that? He's so, such a shitty response. I text him going, when I first identified they were missing, hey, have you seen the lapel mics I just bought? And he wrote back, no, I haven't seen them.

And my immediate response was like, rude. Like, what's so unfair? And I had to check my, I didn't say that to him, but I noted in myself, like, I've become so dependent. He just sorts out all my issues. Did he go through your car for you and look? So when he came home that night, he sort of did a once over, but it's funny, cause I've always made fun of him for doing the boy look.

I went, well, why, why do I now expect him to have magic vision? So I don't think he did actually go through my car. I had gone through my car, but yeah, so ridiculous Anyway, so sometimes he doesn't wash my drink bottle Anyway, yeah, but yeah, don't don't look at that. What's that? What's that build up? Have you had lipstick? Yeah, it looks like lipstick doesn't it. Do you wear lipstick? But yeah, don't, don't. Look at that, what's that? What's that build up? Have you had lipstick on? Yeah, it looks like lipstick doesn't it?

Do you wear lipstick? Only when I go out. And I don't take this giant drink bottle. You don't see lipstick on girls anymore much? You know what it's all about now? Lip stain. Would you agree, Bugs? Yes.

So it's something you would do like the night before. It's like a paint. So you literally put it on and then overnight it stains your lips a darker colour color and then you can peel that off and your lips are naturally nice and juicy or red or plump. Saying that I bought my first lip liner on the weekend. Oh my god welcome to Adolfo's. Yeah I know I felt like an idiot. It's where you like a pencil and you like line around your lips and like

kind of like blend it in a little bit Accentuate said kind of put like a gloss or like a bit of a color over Makeup artists like it because it stops your lip gloss your lipstick from bleeding Maybe you've ever seen it on women and it's almost like the colors encroaching onto their skin Oh, that's like a barrier as a barrier. Yeah. Yeah, but also can give you some depth Like a barrier. As a barrier. Yeah. Yeah.

But also can give you some depth. Yeah. It does quite nice. Oh, the products that we fall victim to. It's ridiculous. Isn't it? I know. I just felt so.

But neither of you wear makeup or work. No, we tinted moisturiser. Yeah. I just wear like a tinted thing. Do a bit of mascara sometimes. I just wear moisturiser. Shaggy, over to you. Nothing.

Not at all. No, no. I do my hair. That's it. Do you have no skincare routine? Are you, you know, not vast still? Do you wash your face with a cleanser? When I shower, but I don't shower every morning sometimes.

I mean, if I wake up early. Eww, wigs me out, hey. Do you shower at night? Yeah, before bed, right, before bed. Yeah, you don't shower before bed. Yeah, the last thing I do. So you just have a moisturiser on off a morning? Yeah, just moisturiser.

And at night, do you put a moisturiser on? Yeah, twice a day. A different moisturiser? Same. Same. Yeah, the same moisturiser. Because you're not sucking in like us going, well, you need a day and you need a night. No, and I don't put makeup and shit on

so my skin isn't naturally getting other things on it. When I do sunscreen, I put a cleanser on after. Nice. Like, oh, wouldn't that not. Get that out of the pores. Yeah, yeah, and then moisturiser. When I went through my hippie dippy phase and I got rid of all my cleansers, moisturisers,

or whatever, but because I'm still vain and a lady living in the world, I was still using makeup, so I wasn't washing it off my face. My skin has never been worse. Because if you're gonna put stuff on, you gotta take it off. It's like Flo has baby acne, like around her face, like her little cheeks.

It's gone down now, but it was like really bad. I was like, what is that? What does bring that on? The hormones, just their body. Breastfeeding hormones. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like they get like little baby pimples. And isn't it funny?

Cause Morgan has some of the best skin I've ever seen on a lady. All natural. But just the body. And then that outflow is fine. Apparently it does come and go. But little baby acne. I was like, oh.

Have you had any eye secretions? That was Lucia's thing when she was really young. You had a little gunk. It almost looked like conjunctivitis. Yeah, yeah. Had a bit of that early days. Really early days. Had a bit of that.

That's gross. And you had the little eye wipes, you get that out of there. The weirdest thing is, I was actually, we had to give her a bath last night. And then we have to clean her after and dry her and get in all her bits. And like Morgan has to like get deep in her lady parts. I'm like, I, well, I don't think I'm qualified enough to do that because I don't have one.

And I'm not going to the depth you're going to. And it's that thing of like. It feels weird. It just feels weird. Like I know it's in my daughter and like clean and stuff but like Morgan's like getting right deep in there and I'm like- Interesting. I'm like I wouldn't go there, I wouldn't do that.

Yeah isn't it funny? Cause I'd also be like, oh not all the time. Not all the time. Yeah, yeah. We're going to the bathroom once every two days. Yeah, yeah. It's also to get like the nappy cream and stuff out of there. Just get, it all gets, things get trapped in there man.

The pseudo cream? Yeah, the pseudo cream. That thick. It just like hardens up in there and you're like, oh. I find it really hard when you do that on your own. It's like, I need to go wash my hands or wipe this off myself, but you can't leave the kid unattended.

You go, so now I'm putting the nappy on you and my hands are all creamy? Yeah. Oh, it's weird. It is weird. You need a basin right there. You do. A little sink.

So much to look forward to guys. Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, heaps of fun. And then before you know it, Ducca, she'll be buying her first lip liner. Oh, goodness. You know what I mean? That'd be so cute. Blink and, you know, she'll be a young lady.

In Mecca. Oh, yeah. In Mecca. Had to ask the lady, because you had no idea. Yeah, yeah. I've never been in Mecca. I have seen, looking from afar, there's a very small men's section.

Yes, yep. Like it's less than a metre wide. It's certainly not their target. No. And I reckon it's not even for men, it's for the ladies who go in and be like, I think he wants a, um, needs a cleanser or something. Every time I go on Mecca, I'm just trailing Morgan and just like, go on my phone. Yeah, yeah.

Isn't that so funny? And Morgan's like, I just spent $700 on two little bottles. I'm like, what the fuck? But Mecca's so fun because they give you a present. Yeah, they do. Where you spend over. And then she's like, I've earned my Mecca present, I'm going to get it and then buy something else. I'm like, get it and then buy something else.

I'm like, what? This isn't a gift. Because you know what's in the Mecca present? Tiny testers of the big things you can buy. So you go, oh, I like that. I'll go buy the biggie. They know how to play us. I tell you, Gertzia. Absolutely.

We should design one skincare. That's where it's at. 100%. You know? Skincare and children's clothing. And we'll just call it baby's bottom. You know? It's actually not a bad support. Is Mecca the same thing? 100%. Skincare and children's clothing. And we'll just call it baby's bottom. It's actually not a bad support.

Is Bore and Mecca the same thing? They sell the same things, but they are different corporations. They're like rivals. Like David Jones and Meyer. Great example. Anyway, I look forward to seeing your lift liner in action, Babs. Yeah, well, I don't know when, but yeah. Bring it in to work one day and we'll see if Shy Guy and I notice.

Oh, that's a good idea, yeah. Maybe. Both of you can do that. Actually, that's a fun game. Let's do different things with our faces and see if the guys notice. It'd be really bad if we don't. Yeah, yeah. But you have to tell.

No, but it also proves the point that we only do it for other women. It's not for men. Totally true. Do you know what I mean? It's not about... I want Babs to notice that my lips look fire. It's so funny because that's why I bought the lip liner because I was seeing my housemate's partner kept wearing and I was like, it just looks fantastic all the time.

So, you know, I want to buy it. There you go. You dress up to try and impress other women. Just feel good about myself. Amen. Look good, feel good. That's it. All right, well, that's your task.

Yeah, okay, that's a bit of fun. And we'll just see if we notice it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good, good. Well, enjoy the show. 🎵Turning up, turning up, turning up🎵 🎵Jess and Ducko in the morning!🎵 Welcome to a new week, team.

Oh, hello! You have not had a break, my friend. Are you feeling well rested? Feeling good. Ready to go for another big week? We're halfway through our 14-day stint of... Of work. ...of early morning works.

Yep, yep. Did the Today Show on the weekend. With an eight week old, let's just not forget, a small baby in the midst. Traveling with her makes things a bit more exhausting. How actually was the plane? You're a little bit trepidatious, a little bit nervous. It's totally fine. It's funny though, the hardest part was rolling on on a plane with the baby and people looking at you, going and you realise you've become that person. Absolutely. The looks you're receiving you once gave. It's the circle of life. And then we got on there and she was fine. She just breastfed on the takeoff and landing and then just sleep. And then she was like doing that thing that they do where she turned it on. Other people were looking at her and the other isles like smiling and she'd smile back.

She's so beautiful. I feel like that's young to be doing that. Yeah. She's been smiling. She's been very smiley lately. Fantastic. And then we took her to Mum and Dad's and she was in a new room, new surroundings, new routine. She slept for seven hours straight. Is that the most she slept? Yeah, in a new place.

I feel kids usually we get, well at least mine does, in a new environment. We're like, okay. Morgan did send me a very sweet picture of her in her first Gorman. Oh yeah, was that yours? No, no, I bought that. Oh, you gave it to us. That was fresh. I was like, this is a Jess number. Because I actually bought the same for Lucia, hoping that they would wear them together, but Lucia has grown out of hers unfortunately, so we have the next size up when Flo is ready. Because Flo was always too big for that, I think. There you go. Yeah, she's gone big. She's going well. Someone actually said to me the other day like, geez, she's big for an eight

week old and I was like, I don't know. I don't, it's apparently not. I've got no one to compare her to. I don't know. She's just a, she's just a blob. But I did enjoy Baby's first Gorman. Very loud, very bright. Fruit print as well.

Yeah. Morgan did say, I've got her in the Gorman today. I was like, oh God, that's, that's got Jess all over it. Yeah. It is so loud. Makes me so happy. Yeah. Morgan's very good at being like, Oh God, that's, that's got Jess all over it. Yeah. It is so loud. So happy. Yeah. Uh, Morgan's very good at being like, did you give us this?

Here's a pic. I'm like, thank you, Morgan. Oh, that's good. Does something to my soul. Cause I'm just like everything. I'm like, I don't know. I see a lemon thing. I'm like, cause we've been given a lemon thing as well.

I'm like, is that, who dares give you a lemon thing? I know. That wasn't, no. It is funny though. There's a lot of fruit things for the, for the young ones. Yeah. But no, so it was good. Been away, did that, but. It is funny though. There's a lot of fruit things for the young ones. Yeah. But no, so it was good. It was good.

We've been away, did that, but it was an okay weekend. Good to hear. Does it make you feel better about the international flight that you've got coming up in a few weeks? Yes, absolutely. We're very sort of, that's longer, it's three hours. So it's kind of that weird, is she going to sleep, is she not? Totally. But we've dipped our toe in the water.

We've dipped our toe in. Yes. We won't be watching many movies on the flight, I've realised. No. We won've dipped our toe in the water. We've dipped our toe in. Yes. Won't be watching many movies on the flight, I've realised. No. Won't be doing too much for me. I always pack my Kindle in the Nappy bag thinking I'll be able to read. Why do I bother?

What's the point? Yeah. May as well not pack the phone either. Yeah, truly. Like all snacks or lip balm for myself. It's amazing though, how much you're just staring, man, when you have a child on a plane, you just get through the time compared to if you had none and you'd be so bored. Truly.

You know that saying, have you heard it's a bit of a parenting thing, the years are long, the days are long but the years are short. Like you feel like you're in the trenches but then you blink and oh my god we're in June or something. Long days, quick months as well. Same. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

100% that's so accurate. Yeah. Yeah but anyway, how was your weekend? Fantastic. Not as exciting. My how was your weekend? Fantastic. Uh, not as exciting. My dog had blood in his urine. So we were dealing with that. Unfortunately for the big fella. I know.

Sharga, I get a text from Jess yesterday being like, when Pam had her lady issues, did she wee blood? Also like, I need some help in collecting urine. I was like, I know female dog urine catching. Angers. You know, Oh, he has a whole different game, isn't it? For boys, I couldn't tell you.

I know. We've got a, I mean, our dog has a spout. I thought to be honest, the dog might be easier because of the spout. Like you've already done level 10 hard. Angus took him to the animal hospital on his own. Cause obviously taking the kid, that's a bit too hard, but called me saying, Oh my God, they need me to catch his urine. Cause I, we had just said there's blood in the urine.

So telling that to the vet, they went, well, we'd like to test it. Can you take him for a walk around the block, get him comfortable, try and catch the wee. He's on the phone to me going, how do I do this? I went, call Ducko. Yeah, call. Do I call Ducko to meet you? If you look in the air and whisper, wee catcher, I will appear. Here he comes.

And then he literally. I will test you. He just went quiet and I was like, Angus, what's happening? Angus. He went, no, no, I had to swoop in. Like he dropped the phone. He was able to execute. Um, always play the recorder. Look into the air and I will appear.

The wee cat just covered, but only for ladies. Only for lady dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. No, that's okay. He was able to execute and he's got bladder stones. Oh, poor guy. That would be so painful. I know my, the only thing I could was able to execute. And he's got bladder stones. Oh, poor guy. That would be so painful.

I know my, the only thing I could compare it to is my dad had kidney stones a few years ago and it was so pain. You know, you hear about men weeing out kidney stones. Do what? Ladies can get kidney stones as well. Right? I think so. I've only ever heard of blokes.

Yeah, I think so. But yeah, my dad had to be like sedated. He was in that excruciating agony. He ended up being sedated and they surgically removed them. So all I can think is like, poor Gianni and he can't communicate. No, he can't say anything. So it's either what they can, they'll surgically... So either he'll go in for surgery in the next couple of days or they give him some special additive which breaks them down and he passes them. Feels like the better option, but also the longer option. So maybe

it is better to just go in and get them. Cheaper option though. My goodness. Dog surgeries. Trust me, as someone who's had a few. So this just the one appointment and granted 24 hour service, you'd pay whatever. However, that for just the consultation was already approaching a thousand dollars. So you go, all right, but obviously you pay it. You don't even care. It was actually, actually, I won't tell you that. It was a sad story. A few of the people Angus was talking to, you know, he's there for three hours.

Yes. Yeah. Oh, Sunday night at an animal hospital. Never a good place to be. I thought the supermarket was a bad place to be. Yeah. The animal hospitals. Depressing.

Uh, but Shilord bring it back for us, Dale. How are you feeling? Any blood in your urine? No blood, but I'll keep a watch. Keep a watch. What about your stool? Stool's fine. That's good. That's good. Yeah, solid. Thanks for asking. Solid. Oh, that's one that. You're looking well rested. More this weekend than you do. Do you reckon? I didn't sleep very well last night. I kept tossing and turning. It was one of those nights. What's on your mind? Yeah. Oh, it's, you know what it is. It's Wet the Baby's Head Week. It's Wet Week! We got an OB. It's a Wet Week, we're broadcasting live. I literally had packed

goggles, like put them next to my handbag and I forgot them, I was gonna bring goggles for everyone. For Wet Week. Wet Week! We get wet together team. How many goggles do you wear? Well Angus has a pair, I've got two pairs. Babs may have missed out but Babs doesn't mind because she's excited for Wet Week! Woo! She had soccer yesterday. That's right. Yeah. Wet wake! I got in the lift with Babs this morning, I said how are you?

She said, I played yesterday, I went, oh! Did you win? No. She goes, my body's effed. I went, oh I'm sorry to hear that. She's sore. I feel like an old lady hobbling out of bed this morning. Yeah, you'd be all battered and bruised.

They haven't been playing too much because of the weather. Yeah, and it's like my groin area really hurts. Mmm, hard to walk. For some reason, like my hips and stuff. Gotta stretch that groin. Let's get you stretching. Let's get you out. We've got a big show team.

We can't be hurt. We can't be injured. It's Weak Week, obviously. No, you've got to have blood in the urine. Can't be blood in the urine. We have Alphabucks coming up with a chance at 10k. 500 bucks are spent at LSKD Active, where that's our call of fame as well.

Up next though, Ducco, the greatest excuse I've ever heard from someone not showing up to court. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Put this excuse in your back pocket. Yeah. Maybe you don't want to go to work today. Maybe you got a christening later in the week. You don't want to go.

This excuse, I feel like Ducucco could be applied to any scenario. Good. A woman has been hauled in, in front of a judge. All right. She was meant to appear in court. An Australian woman, but she'd rock up. So, you know, when you don't rock up to court, they put out a warrant for your arrest. That's what they do.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. If you've committed a crime and you need to face the magistrate, judge, whoever, Just don't show up. you have to do it. You don't get the option. I'm pretty sure your excuse has to literally be, I'm incapacitated, but to

the point where I'm in hospital. Yeah. That, and even then you'd argue like, you need to let us know or something. Or at least call ahead and say, Hey, look, I don't think I'll be able to make it. I don't know what the hotline number is, but I'm sure if you Googled it, you need to have let us know or something. Or at least call ahead and say, hey, look, I don't think I'll be able to make it. I don't know what the hotline number is, but I'm sure if you Googled it, you could get someone in the courthouse. But this woman did not rock up to her hearing. She had done driving while disqualified, so she didn't have a license, but she got,

she got pinged. She had to go in front of the magistrate. Then the warrant gets sent for her arrest because she didn't show up to the court. Once she does face the magistrate, she said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I couldn't come last week. I looked too ugly. This lady's name is Emily. This is the eighth time she's been caught driving without a license,

so it's not her first offence. So the Magistrate's already mad at Emily. So she hadn't done her makeup in time, so that's why she didn't rock up. She said, I looked too ugly to come and I felt sick. She also said I'm starving, which to be fair. Which one is it? Which one is it? Which one is it? But to be fair, I too have prioritised eating and then been late or had to keep someone waiting.

So the starving one, I'm almost like you should have led with that, Emily. You should, yeah maybe. Just because you looked- I'm hangry. I'm hangry. The judge might have accepted that more. I won't be able to stand or string a sentence together if I have nothing in the belly, judge. But I look-

Because she had time to get her makeup on before the court. She just didn't do it earlier. This is the thing, you don't get a text message being like, hey, come to the court now. This date will happen in a fortnight's time. But I looked too ugly is the reason that she did not face up to her court appearance, which I just... What does the judge say about that? Is he like, well, you don't look ugly.

You look great. But you... That's a great question. The judge was really, unfortunately, the article doesn't go on to say too much about his response to that. It's more about just make sure you have a license before you hop behind the wheel of a car. He really wanted to keep talking about the fact she drove without a license. So I'm like, the bigger issue here is that she thought she looked too ugly.

So then she get a fine for not going to the court plus then the whatever she was going to cop as well. This is a great question. We need our lawyer friend back on the phone, Steph maybe. If there's a warrant out for your arrest but you front up and go, yeah, okay, that's me, it's me, are you still, how do you get punished for not showing up in the first place? You know what I mean? You don't just go. Don't you get another slap on the wrist? Probably. Probably another fine. Yeah. It could be, we could be looking at jail time now. Gets her L'Oreal foundation taken off her as extra punishment. Yeah. You can never put makeup on. Yeah. When our year 11, you know, like the, the head of the year level,

she was so pedantic about the girls wearing makeup. That you weren't allowed to. At school you weren't allowed to. It wasn't part of the uniform policy. Yes. But come photo day, everyone does want to put a little bit of jean on, if she caught you, and mascara is very obvious, so she could see the mascara. And the red lipstick. She would make you go wash your face in front of her and then rub sorbilline all over your face. Oh, what does that do? It's just such a viscous, thick lotion that you would perpetually have like a white.

Oh, you'd look like a ghost. You'd look like a ghost. So she's like, don't do it or I'll make you look 10 times worse. Geez, that is. So maybe that's the punishment for this lady. Or you think you looked ugly then. The judge takes her to the courtroom toilet. Wash your face.

She comes back looking like a ghost. Rub saw bilingual over yourself, see. Jess and Ducco. Ducco, I want to bring you this story just really quick. Okay. Just really quick. What have you got for me? Um, scientists at your second home, the Australian Catholic University.

ACU. ACU. Ah, ACU. They've done good work. They always do good work. Could it be argued they've done God's work, fuck it? Absolutely. They get supercharged.

Yeah, absolutely. They're blessed. Yeah. They were looking into whether the fictional trope, you know, we see it and this has been referenced in this piece of data, Shrek's very own Lord Farquaad, a couple of the characters from Game of Thrones and Lord of Rings, the whole thing that if a gentleman is shorter of stature, they make up for that by displaying more toughness, dominance and aggression. Are these polite ways of saying that we are? I am reading this verbatim.

Aggressive, stubborn and competitive. They wanted to see, has Hollywood got it wrong? Where did they make this up? Unfortunately, I don't love the sample size, only 300 participants. I'd love to see another zero. 300 of us make 600 normal men. No, doesn't it make like 150 normal men? Yes, actually.

It's so true. The other way around, isn't it? You would need 600 to make 300. This makes the sample size even more pathetic. ACU, you need to... Is ACU... Where is that? It's in Australia.

Yeah, yeah. No, thank you. I meant to say... Oh, there's one in Queensland. I know that. No, thank you. I meant to say. Sorry. There's one in Queensland, I know that. I don't know if there's one in New South Wales. There you go. It's not Camry, is it?

Because maybe the population size is small. The only reason I know it is because in year 12, we did a drama assignment and we had to pair it with ACU students and do a performance thing. Oh, like a cross-school thing. Yeah, so we actually had to go to their uni campus and do it. There you go. That's the only reason I know about it. Did you do well in that assignment?

Like were you partnered with a good person? Yeah, I think so. I think we did well. So you got positive association. Mine was obviously reenacting the full second testament, but geez, I don't have time to go into that. They have a campus. You were Jesus, they were Judas?

I assume. Obviously. I don't know. Anyway. Where do they have their campus? All over Australia. Oh, they've got multiple. And in Melbourne, North Sydney, Stratford.

Also one in Rome. I mean, that makes sense. That checks out. 5Ks from the Vatican. Well, then I'd argue then they could have got... A few more people. Just, can I bring the rice cookers into something? Ducco, fire that off.

Didn't even look. I saw you. You didn't even... You were looking over here and that grabbed place. I know where that is. I know where that is at all times. You can sense it. Then I'd argue they could have got more participants there's all these campuses but anyway. So what are they saying? They are saying that they have correlated shorter men to exhibit

feelings of jealousy, envy and competitors more so than their taller compatriots. Because we've got to compensate like it's like we're short so it's like we've got to we got to work harder. You've got to work harder. The competitive thing probably. I mean you've got to you've got to fight tooth and nail for everything. And I wonder and I'd love to read more in depth obviously when it gets published in the Journal of Neuroscience or whatever. But they're talking about the psychological perceptions of height difference significantly influencing social dynamics and behaviors. So like basically what I'm reading between the lines is what hope do you have because the social dynamic

of the world we live in, we favor the taller. They are put on a pedestal when they're already. Well I would say that's true. Don't you think? I would say it's true but you know short king's making a rise as we know. Tom Holland doing his uproars. Tom Holland, Kendra Lamar just doing wonders for the little ones. Shamalama Bingbong, who bagged Jenna. Do you know what I mean? He is doing... Is he short? He's tiny.

He's thin. He's baby. Because she's tiny too. And they are only like a whisper apart. I think the reason I talk so loud is because I've always had to like talk up to talk over people. You know what I mean? Project.

Because this, and this particular study is not about your relationships with women. It's with men to men. Yeah, that makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Intrasexual, which is not a phrase I've heard. Intrasexual competition. Nor have I.

So stop being so intrasexually competitive. When I go around the boys, who wants some good friendly intrasexual competitiveness? They're like what? You should change your group chat to intrasexual mates or something. Your boys chat. Intersexual competition.

That's how I'll name all our competitions. Owning your height and becoming comfortable in it might be the answer to reducing feelings of intersexual envy, jealousy and competitive nerves. You know what? A tall person write that. They have no idea. Anyway. Jesus, it'd be good for a Monday. Wouldn't it, Jase? I always think it'd be good on a Friday, but not on Monday.

Monday's even better. Set yourself up for the whole week. Start it right. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. You can't use the same answer three times. You can't use the same answer four times.

You can't use the same answer five times. You can't use the same answer six times. You can't use the same answer seven times. You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight times.

You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight times. You can't use the same answer eight better. Set yourself up for the whole week. Start it right. 30 seconds stands for 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice and if you're unsure of the question you can say pass. We come back if there's time. Planning for 10k. First cab off the rank is Matthew. Good morning Matty. How you going? Oh Matthew we couldn't be better. We have the opportunity. To make your week pretty damn special. How would you spend $10,000? Ah, probably get some missions and the kids can go for boys weekend.

Boys weekend! Where are we going, Matty? What are we up to? I haven't decided. Probably Queensland, have Dracula's Casino and we can eat feet up there. Dracula's Casino on the Gold Coast. My goodness, the OG.

A dinner and a show, Matty. Yeah. That's fantastic. Absolutely, let's get going. Hey, all right. All righty. Well, the letter that you are gonna work with my friend, it's C, C for cans.

Maybe if you wanna go really far north. Yeah, you gotta reel up there. I think we could do that. Absolutely, C's solid. It's a good letter. C feels good. Are you ready to rock and roll, Matt? Absolutely.

All right, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C, we need you to name a chip flavour. Chicken. An ocean animal. Pass. An adjective. Pass. A periodic element. Oh my goodness. carbon. A vegetable. Carrot. A TV show. Ooh, pass. An Italian dish. Cattatori. Something round. Ah, circle. A fabric.

Ah, pass. A fashion brand. Oh, I've no idea. You know what, to get through all of them, the amount of conversation with the owner passes, you were fast. Like, that was... He truly was. You were zooming.

I've never heard someone balk so hard at periodic elements. You know what, to get through all of them, the amount of conversation with the owner and the passers, you were fast. Like, that was... He truly was. I've never heard someone balk so hard at periodic element and then drill carbon. To be fair, because he got adjective into periodic element. He's just like, I hate you guys. Take that out with bats. Yeah, what the hell? Yeah.

Well, you end up getting a five. Is Cacciatore Italian? It is, baby! Yeah, you get yourself five. An ocean animal could have been the humble crab. An adjective. It's hard. It always gets people calm. They'd be caring. Or Ducko's most hated, cute. Yeah, it got yourself five. An ocean animal could have been the humble crab. An adjective, it's hard. It always gets people calm, maybe caring. Or Ducko's most hated, cute.

Yeah, it's cute. A TV show could have been Criminal Minds or CSI. What else? A fabric. Could have been corduroy, cashmere, and a fashion brand, Calvin Klein O'Shanell. Look, Matty, you don't get a trip to Dracula's with the boys, but you do get $100 of fuel to spend out. Thanks to O'Brien, the legend at all.

Oh, oh, O'Brien. Oh, delicious, I love it. How good's that, Matt? You're a delight, thanks for joining the show. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks, Matty. Hey, we do play again, eight o'clock, $10,000.

Now, Ducko, I told you I was doing something over the weekend. Yep. It's changed me. Yeah. It's changed me. Yeah. It's changed me for the better. Here we go. And I'd actually love to get you involved next time.

I think it would be a great team activity. Oh goodness. All right, Kooky Feeds next. Jess and Ducko. Is there a Kooky practice or treatment that you've tried and swear by? Yeah. Because I tried something for the first time Saturday afternoon, Ducco. Yes.

And I'll be honest, I was meant to be in a deep meditative state, but just one thought popped into my mind. Ducco would love this. And I think next time we do it as a team. Team. Because Shy Guy and Babs, I think, could benefit a lot. Yeah, OK. What do we?

As well. What did you do? Sound healing. Now, this is the one where they have the bowl and they rub the stick around the bowl. Hey, not just one bowl. Oh, multiple bowls. Three bowls. Oh, there's three bowls. So, yes, I was invited and I got to bring a friend. Yes. I should have brought you man, but I took Simone. Oh, damn. We were invited to go to this amazing new sort of wellness centre that's opened in our area. And it said we'll be doing a bit of Pilates.

There'll be Reiki. Oh, yeah. There will be a Cairo dude doing some neck adjustments. Oh, yeah. And there will be sound. And everything. Oh, my God. And there was a marcher truck. I had my first marcher. You think I didn't hate it? I thought you had never tried it.

I've not tried it. You know, I judge things before I try them. It tastes like green drink to me. I was like judge things before I try them. It tastes like grass. Green drink to me. I was like, bleh. It looks like it tastes like dirt. Teagan, the owner, went, Jess, I've heard what you said about March. I do want to actually try one.

We're in Auntie March's show. I said, ah, probably can't reject you. Right here, Teagan. I'm surprised you did try it. That's a real sign of growth from you. Thank you. If a rice cooker asks me to do something, that's where I found my line is. Yeah.

I'll say yes. Ah, there you go, everyone. I'll try and keep them happy and, but I took it. Because it does taste dirt. Like dirt. Well, she freaked me out a little bit because you know I don't drink milk. Any of the alternatives. I don't drink milk. She went, do you want it on skim, oat or almond? I went, none of those sound good. Can I not have it on any? She went, oh no. You need those.

You should have it on, or strawberry milk. I went. That's those sound good. Can I not have it on any? She went, oh no, you should have it on some. Or strawberry milk. I went, that's the strawberry matcha. I don't want any of those. I said, maybe almond feels the least offensive. Took one sip. Did not hate it. Maybe because my bar was so low.

Imagine if you tried ham and eggs. Geez. Imagine all the possibilities of food you could try. You encouraged me to do it. Nah, but if a rice cooker, hey, it's wet week, baby. We're doing a buffet breakfast. Imagine all the possibilities of food you could try. You encourage me to do it? Nah. But if a rice cooker, hey it's wet week baby, we're doing a buffet breakfast. If one of the rice cookers goes hey have a bit of ham. Or some of these scrambled eggs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't have eggs for a buffet. Sorry I'm busy with my matcha. Yeah, no see, bain marie eggs. But anyway, so already the vibes were high, the matcha. Okay. But anyway, so already the vibes were hot, the marcher. Okay, so we go into this beautiful Zen space and I see the three crystal, I don't actually know what they're made out of,

but they're almost like big, deep salad bowls. And the lady comes in and introduces herself, she goes, I'll be leading you through the sound healing. Now you know me, I love a kooky thing, but even I was going, what is this? What is this? Okay, are you barefoot, I love a kooky thing. But even I was going, what is this? What is this? Okay. Like-

You barefoot, you're sitting down? Absolutely, we're grounding, we're centered. Whilst it was a beautiful sunny day, it was freezing, but it's like, get comfortable, de-shed if you need to, cause we're gonna be here for a little while. Okay. So I'm lying on my back with 20 other women. Yeah.

Hand on the heart center, the other hand on the diaphragm. Lower the eyes. The marcher just starts running right through you as well. The marcher starts gurgling in the tent. Oh sorry guys. It also was a cheese board and you know I'm a sucker for a cheese board. So now I've got the prosciutto mixing with the camembert. I'm sorry for anyone who's in a one meter radius of you. Close down the eyes. And she gets that, I don't know, it's like the pestle from the mortar and pestle. And she starts, I don't know, rimming these balls. I think that's the technical term. Yeah, yeah. She was rim tickling the balls.

She's rim tickling. And it's this, turn that up for me. You've got that. And I got to tell you, whilst I was a little bit giggly, you know when you're there with your friend and you're ribbing each other's elbows and you're like, haha. And then I sort of let myself get lost in it. Let it wash over me. Bro.

It was like these sound waves were genuinely pulsating. It does sound a bit like that. You know like when you're in surround sound cinema and you feel like, you know, it's pulsating. It feels almost physical. It's like 4D. Yes! I swear I could feel it. Does she speak through it too?

Yes. Like relax. Yes, and she's talking about taking in the positivity, holding at the top and breathing out the negativity. Oh, so it's to drain the negativity from your body. Absolutely. Filling with light. Right. And sound, which is all good juju. Yeah. And breathing out the bad juju and letting that be carried away on the vibrations of the sound.

Do people like start crying and stuff? Is it one of those? Do you know what's funny? When she started the session, she did say, whatever comes up for you. Ah, yes. If you cry, if you scream. Oh. Because I guess if you were breathing out the negative juju, maybe that's terrifying, and screaming, she said if you orgasm. What? She said if you orgasm. She said if you cry, if you scream, if you orgasm. Could you imagine being there and your friends like, ah, ah! And you're like, what the hell is happening in your cell? Well I'm sobbing, but I'm sobbing next to her.

But anything that could... Wow, so it can just... it releases basically. It releases. So whatever you're holding, that tension release could be that feeling of happy tears, it could be that terrifying exhalation, or... pleasure. Imagine what you're saying.

I'm on board, baby. If we all go as a team, there's going to be a lot going on. Babs is dropping her guts, no doubt. And crying. Yeah, she'd be tearing up actually. Let's walk in for 3pm on a Tuesday to give her the best chance. Because that's what really got me and I surrendered. I succumbed.

How long does it go for? To the sound. So this, because we were doing many of the things, because it was sort of this, um, introduction to the center probably only went for 15 minutes. Okay. Not long at all. Yeah. What if it would be like an hour or something? And I wonder if you were doing a proper session.

Like if we were to book in, it might be half an hour to an hour. Yeah, right. But it also would interest me if you just succumb to it when you just genuinely felt I'm ready to release, hours could go by, I reckon. Because that sound put me in a trance. It would. I could see how that would put you in a trance. Totally. But you've got to be open. I'm keen to do a team one. I know you'd be open, Babs would be open. Shy Guy, I'm worried. Well, imagine Shy Lord there. Imagine if Shy Guy's the guy who starts crying. Just really starts raging it out. She would need to be rimming all three of

those balls at once to crack Shy Guy's facade. There'd be a real skill in the rimming of it too in the rim technique. It was like um at risk of you playing the sting, the niche sting. Here we go everyone, we're having fun. You know in Miss Congeniality where she plays the water glasses? I actually do know that's a good reference. It was that, do you know what I mean? Like it was so... Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the stage. Because it was one of those things where you think you could do it, but I bet you couldn't. Yeah. Oh no, totally.

Do you know what I'm saying? Well, okay. So sound, healing. And you walked out of it feeling rejuvenated. Did your friend like it? She did. She did. She very much enjoyed the pilates because she's fit and she liked the pelvic floor work.

Oh, and then we did a whole session on pelvic floor. Oh goodness. Fascinating. You were just there sipping matches for the first time. I'm like, how good is this? Doing archaicals. I should never have judged these things. So what I want, you should never judge.

You should be open. Okay, hold on to that. I'm gonna bring that back up to you and then I bring up eggs and bacon. What else should we add to our list? Have you done something kooky? Yeah, kooky treatments you've done. And kooky feels judgmental.

Something left of centre. You know what I mean? Something maybe eastern. My brother-in-law who went to the two-week silent retreat just didn't speak. Now he's come back, guess what? He's got three ear studs, a mullet and he's booked a one-way ticket to Asia. I'm like, what happened? His climate of base camp.

All those two weeks in your brain. Oh my gosh, changed him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 131060. 131060. Oh brain. Oh my gosh, changed him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 13, 10, 60. 13, 10, 60, what's... Oh no, do we go, what changed you? Someone's been taking in the sound. Oh yeah.

And I like that little gong thing, the little bing when she hits the side of it. Yeah, that's nice. What changed you? What changed you? What changed you? Maybe it was one of those salmon sperm facials. Who's to say?

Who's to judge? No one's judging. Call of Fame 500 marks to spend it LSKD. Give us a call. We'll get you on there. Jess and Daco. Jess and Daco. Really quickly, we were just discussing sound healing. Because it's something I'm adding to my repertoire. You thought I peaked with the gouache. Gouache. Gouache is a gouche-wa? The gouche-wa is the small jade heart shaped facial tool that helps with lymphatic drainage. I need to do some weirder stuff for like, you know, I want to do some cool things.

You're open! I know we have a laugh, but I know you're open. Yeah, I'd be open to do some cool things. I should have brought you to the sound healing, I'm sorry I invited some of you. I went to acting school, you do some weird things in that place. To make sure you are open and your walls are down. Oh yeah, yeah. How do you connect otherwise?

Exactly right. So I did sound healing which is the three big, I think crystal bowls and you basically, it's like a big old mortar and pestle and she rims them with this little paddle thing. Rim tickles. Rim tickles. And as long as you're open, I was feeling things. Well the fact that she said it relaxes you so much that you could cry, scream, orgasm, shout, like, it just releases the body.

It releases the body. And I gotta tell you, I've been floating on air for the whole weekend. You do look relaxed. For someone whose dog had kidney stones or whatever it is. A lot of stones. Thank you. I was gonna say, the only thing that really penetrated me was late last night when my dog started peeing blood. Kind of rattled the sound, here. Let's not say penetration in this whole sentence as sense. That's not great. Is it? Perturbed me

Angus hasn't told me how he's doing this morning. I hope he's okay, but the sound healing sound If I hadn't had the sound healing on Saturday duck, oh, yeah You probably would have been I probably wouldn't be here today. You'd be emotional.ucco, I probably would have been a shambles. You probably would have been. I probably wouldn't be here today. You'd be emotional. Yeah, actually, possibly. I would have been very emotional. So we want to know, is there another treatment we should add to our list to try?

What have you done that changed you? We go to Jadie. Good morning, Jadie. Morning. Babe, what have you tried, maybe a little bit left of centre that you'd recommend? So when I saw my counsellor, she got me to do sand play to get rid of the same thing of what was holding me back. What? Sorry, sand play. Yeah, what is sand play? So I didn't know what it was either, but it is fantastic.

So obviously you have a little daughter daughter Jess, the little box of sand that you can have just to play in. Yeah. Well it's on a stand though, Ducco. Oh so not inbuilt, something maybe a bit more mobile. I see. Not as messy. So maybe like the water play thing but instead of water it's sand. Okay so what with like a like a little rake or a little bucket or? No well then she has like a shelf of like all sorts of toys, collectibles, figurines, whatever. And you just play in the sand? No she gets you to feel into the objects and pick three or four. Oh. And then you have to go over to the sandbox and you place those figurines where it feels

comfortable. And then yeah, you place them in there and then somehow reading the way that you place those figurines into the sand, she manages to internally unlock the weirdest traumas within you Realize and even so it's kind of like it's like Tarot Cardi In terms of what you're doing I don't know but yeah, like even if you put like something in and it accidentally falls over She's and you go to that means she's like no leave it there Wow Did it help you? Oh, yeah, leave it there. Cause it was meant to. Wow. I did. And did it help you?

Oh yeah. It has unlocked like heaps of things. Like interesting. Years ago before I started it, no way I would have spoken on radio. Like, well, thank you so much for sharing JD, but well done on being open. Sand play. Yeah. It's fantastic.

So a counsellor, JD, is that who does this? I was going to say, I wouldn't even know where to start. Yeah, it's fantastic. So a counsellor, Jade, is that who does this? I was gonna say I wouldn't even know where to start. Yeah, no, my counsellor did do it after I lost my son, but yeah, I personally don't know where to find it. Wow. Yeah, I mean, that's a huge tragic loss. Absolutely. We're so sorry to hear that, but thank you so much for sharing. Yeah, and coming on. And coming on. That's incredible, Jade. All right. Sand play. We'll investigate where we can do that. We're going to do sound healing. I do want to do sound healing as a team though. I really do. I think that would just be so interesting. Is Shy Guy going to be open though, Ducco? I think so. If we all go and do it. I think I'll be giggly throughout. Yeah, but then you know what? But then you might start crying.

If that's what comes up for Shy Guy. And then he climaxes, you know? Speaking of, did you see Shaka posting another photo with his dad on the weekend? Was that your dad? Who else would it have been? He's the one you said was really hot. I was going to hop in that photo. When did Vom Vom ruin it?

When did the Vom Vom get you? Gastro ruined something for you, for the family, for whatever it may be. A big event got called off, got cancelled, happened halfway through something. That's so upsetting. We literally, so we flew back. You're at the end of the altar. Oh. And then you pee your pants. That's not good. This was purely vomits, so we went back. I was in Queensland, I had to do the Today Show on the weekend, so decided we'd fly Morgan and my little daughter Flo up. She's only eight weeks old, did the first flight, test how it goes.

She can go back, meet the great grandparents. Oh, it's important. And meet my sister, who she's not met, sister and brother-in-law, auntie and uncle, and then the nieces and nephews. Yes. Her cousins. Four of them. They're her cousins. Four of them.

There's four of them. Four of them haven't met their baby cousin yet. I was so excited for her to meet them. Obviously she doesn't remember anything. She's a blob, but still it was, they were very excited to meet her. Honestly, I reckon for the first four years of a kid's life, it's more about you seeing it and being around it. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Yeah, that must have been a really exciting thing. Your older sister, meeting your baby, like it's special. It was very special. And my sister's been trying to come down and visit us, hasn't been able to. She's got four kids, has been busy special. It was very special and my sister's been trying to come down and visit us,

hasn't been able to, she's got four kids, has been busy, the kids want to come and anyway this just worked out. She's like, I've got four, you've got one, you come to me. Exactly. This worked out well. We get in and get a text, we're literally on the way to the airport on Friday, we get a text and it's like, oh no, Penny, her youngest, has just come home from school and she, or she vomited on the way to school. Oh no.

And we're like, it could be a one off thing, whatever. And then we get to the airport, we're about to board the plane, get another one. Just got an email from the school saying that there's a gastro outbreak, particularly in that year level. Oh God. Lots of kids have been vomiting now at school. There's a bug. So basically pick your kids up.

One of the most contagious things in the world. It's airborne baby. Pick your kids up, everyone's got it. And then all of a sudden her house became a gastro cabin all weekend. Oh my God, because the little one, we've given it to her brothers and sisters. Three brothers and sisters, mom and dad are there all weekend. And because Flo is only eight weeks old and has no immune system, just couldn't come near her.

And this whole reason that my sister, that my wife and daughter were coming back to meet my sister was literally to do this. Was for them. And now they couldn't even do it. And so we're flying back like, oh, now we're flying home with a baby for no reason. It's funny, I saw on your Instagram story, a shout out to the COVID days, because you still was like, we can at least look at you through the glass window. So we drove past their place, we went to the airport yesterday, we kept the window like a crack and they opened it

and they looked at her through like in the car seat, they were like looking at her from the back window and stuff. It was like, you know, those drive through safaris you can do where it's like you stay in your car but the hippo is out there. He was like all you little nieces and nephews, like monkeys clambering all the car. They were looking at her when they were banging

on the window and stuff, like yeah. Flo just like, who are they? My sister was crying because she'd been stranded home with them all weekend, vomiting, didn't get to meet Flo and she was so excited to meet Flo, didn't even get to happen. We even brought fresh Gorman kit for Flo to wear to meet them. Well she looked fantastic. Thank you. It was a present from you.

Yes it was. The strawberries really brought out our eyes. It completely derailed the entire weekend. It's so disappointing because now do you even know when you'll see each other again? No. Probably Christmas. Yeah, don't even know. And they've got four kids so it's not easy for them to travel.

Absolutely. And when we'd parked and they were looking at us through outside of the car, it was probably worse. It reminded me of COVID times. Yes, yeah. Like it was probably worse for my sister to see that. I know you were a little bit like when your mum said, oh, so and so is going to pop by. So and so.

You're like, no, no, we're coming to see Abby, her hubby and the cousins. Well, lucky your mum had booked in a whole bunch of other social engagements for you. Mum still snuck over. She did the classic like, oh, I don't know how your auntie heard about you being back, but she messaged. You don't know how she heard mum. Do you not know how she heard? Just line her up next to Abby's kids. We'll know how she heard mum. Do you not know how she heard?

Just line her up next to Abby's kids, we'll just do a drive by. Do a salute. Yeah. So I thought 131060, what did Gastro ruin for you? That's right. Was it an event? Was it something important for you? Was it your kids' school getting it?

Did you try and push through? Oh yeah. I didn't regret that. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. 131060, when did Gastro ruin the event? And when did the vom vom get ya? I'll take the other.

Will you take bum bum? Yeah, I'll take bum bum. We went back up to, on the weekend. Alright, Darren. Because I was doing the weather for the Today Show. That's right, from the beautiful bow desert. Beautiful bow desert, which I did say, I'll play that for you on air a bit later. I did say, I promise you guys I wouldn't, I did.

Um, but we went back to basically report my wife and daughter, Flo back as well to meet the cousins, the auntie, the uncle, my sister that she hadn't met yet. You've got two sisters and the younger one has met Flo. She came to the birth. But the other, the other sister, four children. Yeah. So she pulled rank and went, you gotta come to me, bro. I cannot get four kids to you. Exactly. Cool. No worries. Then we find out on the Fridays,

we're about to fly up that her youngest is vomiting. The school has a spate of sickness. They all get sent home. We're not allowed near them. And then she kept vomiting over the weekend and we couldn't see them at all. So we had to do it through the car. And it was just, yeah, it was like COVID times. Oh, it's just... I know. It's really upsetting. Gastro ruined that beautiful family moment for you. I know, it was so close but so far. I know you're probably not going to see him till Christmas.

I know, I know. You know, and Flo will be what, like eight months then? No one cares about eight month olds? I know. I want to see an eight week old! She's always cute then. No! Julie, good morning.

Good morning. When has the Gastro ruined an event for you? It was my wedding day. Oh no! Brilliant! What happened? Julie, good morning. Good morning. When has the gastro ruined an event for you? It was my wedding day. Oh no. Brilliant. What happened? Um, I woke up, I wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I thought it was just nerves.

Um, but as the day went on, uh, not, not as much nerves as I thought it was. Um, we got married in a public park with no toilets, no toilets close by. Yeah. Yeah. No toilets you really want to use in a wedding dress. I don't have time to be laying toilet paper around the seat. Uh, when I have to go back to my vows. Um, luckily, um, no number two's happened wanting to happen at the park, but just as we were

told we could kiss, I thought I was going to vomit and had to hold it back. Oh my goodness. Yeah. And then the rest of the day I was just sick as a dog. So you couldn't kiss him. You couldn't kiss him on the wedding day because you thought you were going to. No. He's like, is it me? What's happening? know, you've got that one image and Julie's just pulling back. It's like, that's not a great, you know, one snapshot of the wedding day.

Oh, remembering your wedding day like that. Oh no, Kirsty, good morning. Morning. When has the gastro gotcha? What did it ruin for you? Yeah, went out for a family dinner with my, was going to be in-laws and got home and my then husband decided to propose to me as I was doubled over the edge of the bed with our three year old crawling all over him wanting to vomit. Not sure if I was going to crap my pants.

I mean, that's the moment I thought she's the one for me. Might as well do it now. I'm going to pop the question. Did he just have that? He was always going to do it at that time because he didn't care what was getting in the way. He's like, I's the one for me. Might as well do it now. I'm going to pop the question. Did he just have that? He was always going to do it at that time, because he didn't care what was getting in the way. He's like, I've just got to go. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. I was going to drop the knee. Courtney, hello. Hello. This was when you were a bit younger. Yeah. So we were travelling away to a basketball carnival and I usually get car sick and I vomited all up the side of my mum's car, all in the window cracks.

It was disgusting. My mum made me take my basketball shirt off and clean the side of her car with my basketball shirt until we got to our destination. Wait, so you continued on to the basketball tournament? Oh yeah. I just thought I was casting. Kids bounce back baby. Bit of hydro light, she's all good to go. I'm building a resilient kid here, you will play.

I'll wrap it up with Henry on 13, 10, 60. It's also when you were little Henry. Hi, how you going? My memoir sort of takes place a few years ago. When I was about eight years old, I was at my beloved uncle's wedding and I was the ring boy. But unfortunately, I had gastro for a few days leading up to this wedding. I thought it had passed but the apparent nerves got to me and a wet sloppy turd sort of filled my underwear and I didn't tell my mom or my dad I sort of just took my underpants off in a bush and left them sort of you know on the edge of the bush, didn't think anything of it. And then an hour or so later,

my baby cousin was found crawling in so-called bush. And my auntie, yeah, wasn't a fan of that. So your cousin basically got a hold of your pooey undies that you left in the bush. Pretty much. It ruined the wedding. I still feel slightly shunned from the family. You're the black sheep. To to this day because of that. Henry, can I get a quick timeline? Had you walked the ring down yet or did that happen before and you had to go, I've got

a job to do? It happened before I walked the ring. You free-balled down the aisle. His commitment to getting the ring. I was free-balling. Didn't stop the ceremony. Absolutely. He's like, I got a job, I'll just discard the undies and make my way down to Munich. I thought I got away with it 100%.

It was a brown day. It was bad but it was not good. Well it sort of made you the person you are today, Henry. We can't take that away from you or the incident. Exactly right, mate. It it's kind of... Exactly right mate. It's just part of his story. It's part of Henry's story. Jess and Ducco. Biddy biddy bang bang, biddy bang bang, biddy biddy bang bang, biddy bang bang.

Biddy biddy bang bang. Ducco, Babs and myself, we're gonna bid. And bang. And bang. Well. That's the bidding part. Let's do some sound healing first and we can talk about it. So true. Ducco, Babs and myself, we're gonna bid! And bang! And bang, well... That's the bidding part! Let's do some sound healing first, then we can talk about it.

Yeah, of so true. We're gonna bid on how many of a topic we think we can rattle off. Shy Guy's gonna give us some categories. Let's start the bidding, shall we, Mr. Guy? First one, easy one, boy bands. Ooh! Geez, I feel like Babs would be good at this one I know

because she'd know some modern ones like you and I probably gonna do all 90s yeah like I get about the modern era I can think of five I think I can think of seven oh oh I'll say eight but I don't think I can do that back yourself I can't go higher than eight I don't have got I've got it I've got, so it's you two. I reckon she's gonna have to do it. Okay. And then to steal the point, you and I, we just have to rattle off one she doesn't know. What's a boy band?

I would argue a music group that only has men. Correct, yeah. Okay, so it doesn't have, okay, sure, righto. Oasis, One Direction, Hanson, Westlife, Boys to Men. Lalalalala, I don't know. Come on, you know. The big ones. The big ones.

Backstreet. Oh yeah, Backstreet. I started well. In excess. You were amazing. But if that wasn't exactly my point, that's the game though, isn't it? Where your brain goes in that 20 seconds. I must say, give it the point for saying Westlife.

I'm very happy with you. How can we not think of Westlife? The amount you bring Westlife up on this show. No, she said it. That's why I'm so... Oh yeah, yeah. Very impressed. So you got the steal with InXS? InXS, yep, sure. Point to Dukkho. Thank you. Next question.

Thank you, Babs. Red fruits. Ooh. Red fruits. I reckon I could name five red fruits. Ooh! Red fruits. I reckon I could name five red fruits. Ah, jeez, two... Six? I don't think I can... All I can think of is three. Well...

I'm gonna say seven. I would like to see that seven! Strawberry, raspberry, apple, papaya, pawpaw. That's five. Watermelon! Is that red? That's green. Red inside.

Four, that's five, or six. One more. Grapp. Nectarine? Yeah. Would you accept that as a red? Yep, absolutely. Jeez, that was with the papaya. And I freaking love a nectarine.

Yeah, that's hard man. I didn't think of some of those that you'd said. Well done to you. Geez, that's two little snakes I've had. I'm gonna put my balls out. You know what, it's so much... Yeah, you do have to eat your balls. I've got a little bet now. Come on, alright, let's go. Yeah, come on, stop holding back, Darko. I'll go big here. What have you got for me?

Alright, now that they're out. 25! It is go big here. What do you got for me? Alright, now that they're out. 25! Now! It is cold in here. Are there celebrities who have slept with a Kardashian? Oh my god. Wait, celebrities who have slept with a Kardashian? Boo!

Um... Jesus Christ. I've got an extensive list in front of me. Now we've all... Babs, I think it's your turn to bid first. Sure. Um, I can probably name four? Yeah. Five? Which one probably name four? Yeah.

Five? Which one are you doing? Five, yeah. Oh crap, that's high. That is higher than I thought. That's a high early bid. Because Ducco's already got his balls out, I'm gonna say six and let's see what he says.

I'm gonna have to say seven, but I don't think I can do seven. Are you gonna do our bid? Okay. Ray J, Timothy Chalamet, Kanye, another basketballer, or Travis Scott, who's the other basketballer? Mike Griffin! That's five. Technically, Jenner's, but we'll accept it.

Could have said Tristan Thompson. Tristan! Cheated on Chloe! Yeah, that's how I see it. Well done! Ben Stevens was the basketball. Blake Griffin's also the basketball. And uh, extensive whistler. Who's Kendall been attached to?

I don't think many people. I reckon she's very private. Kendall, yeah. Okay. Good effort. Thank you guys. I tried. Duck on two, Babs on one, Jess on zero. On zero. Come on. I got to get my balls out. Come on. Have a go. It's fun. Now they're on the table. Units of measurement. Whoa. Oh. Oh wait. Seven. Oh. Oh. Seven. Really? Units of measurement? Yeah man. You've narrowed in, Gordon. You can measure a lot of things

in many ways. Uh, oh. Eight? Oh, I'm out. Like, yeah. I don't want you to steal it off me again, but my balls are out so I'll say nine. Let's say it, let's see it! Millilitres, litres, millimetres, centimetres, metres, kilometres, yards, miles, kilograms. Oh, yeah, easy, easy. Done!

I didn't even think of the kilometres. Yeah, that's why I knew you'd locked in for weights maybe. I was thinking of like hands, like measuring horses, hands, feet, like I've just been out of a boat desert. If I hadn't done this enough I would have loved to have done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good one. Yeah, okay, alright. I didn't done this enough, I would have loved to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good one. Yeah, okay. I didn't even say inches.

So if you or Babs gets a point, then we go to a tiebreaker. Otherwise you could end this stuff. Is that what you want? You could. Okay, all right. Australian Idol and alumni. Oh, Jesus, Shy Guy. Come on.

There's been 23 seasons, guys. Let's go. I'm 24 years old. I don't know. Come on, have a crack. It's not just winners, anyone who's been a part of the show. Okay, sure. I'll say six. I don't... Seven. Eight.

I can't do any more than eight. I'll say nine. I would like to see that nine. Guy Sebastian, Shannon Noll, Cosima De Vida, Emra Siano, Dean Gaia, Damien Lee, Casey Donovan, Anthony Collier. Is that nine? Oh, dang! What a guess! Ricky Lee, cool job!

Oh, Ricky Lee! All right, here we go. Babs, you're out. We go for the win. Here we go. Bye, Babs. Bye. You. Oh, Ricky Lee! Alright, here we go. Babs, you're out. For the win. Here we go.

Bye, Babs. Bye. European countries. Oh, jeez. Because you've got to do the 20 seconds. That's the issue, isn't it? Like, countries. I don't know.

10 in the 20 seconds. I know, Jesus. Yeah. 11. Oh, 12. Oh damn! There you go. Yeah, 13.

Oh damn! He's gone higher than that. 14. Oh hell yeah, I wanna hear 14, brother. Italy, Netherlands, Spain, France, Germany, Belgium, Slovenia, Slovakia, Serbia, Norway! That was 10, brother. That's 44. You didn't say Greece.

I've been there, I've been to Mykonos! I know you've been to Mykonos, you saw Bob sing Bob and C.C. and the Mickey Nose. Jess wins. It is so hard where your brain goes in that. But it is also, that 20 seconds. You think 30 seconds in elf box is hard, try 20 seconds in Bitty Bitty Bang Bang. It ruins you. It really does.

We all put our things away. Put them back in everybody, shove them back in. Famously, you gotta love the rice cookers. Whenever I do the Today Show on the weekends, I had to do it filling in for the weather on the weekend. Usually it's my mum that'll send me a message in saying like, your shirt looks too baggy, you look little or whatever. Why aren't you iron? Well yeah, all that stuff. You gotta love it, right?

Now the rice cookers have started jumping in on it. Kate's opened the door. Also, just quietly, remember on Friday I said I was doing it from Beautiful Bow Desert? You asked where that was and I was like, hey, you don't need to know. Yeah, that's right. I think it. Just quietly, remember on Friday I said I was doing it from Beautiful Bow Desert, you asked where that was and I was like, hey, you don't need to know. Yeah, that's right, I think you said it's God's country, but don't worry about it. I told you I'd say, where else would you rather be? Or something along the lines of it's beautiful.

Yes, you did. Well, I said it. Time for a check of your Saturday morning weather with Ducko, who's in Bow Desert with the hosts this morning. Yes, I am. Morning standards. We're here in Beautiful Bow Desert. Where else would you rather be?

God's country. Hey, tick, tick, tick! He executed it. Well done. It was negative one degrees. Morning Stanners, we're here in beautiful Bow Desert, where else would you rather be? God's country because we're... Tick tick tick! He executed it, well done. It was negative one degrees, it was freezing. I saw on your Instagram story a dude cracking the whip and then you got to have a go. Yeah, the world whip cracking champion. He cracked it over my face while I was moving forward.

He was the 16 time or 17 time world whip cracking champ. I appreciate he's won 17 times but that's your eyeballs. I know I was big you know what I mean. It's one of those things that were in front of the crowd and they're filming and he's I'm just gonna do this everyone's like cheering I'm like oh my god I can't say no. I've just met you I don't trust you. It was crazy. Okay well your eyes are fine. Also whip cracking it's like a yo-yo you come up with your own tricks and you do your own things when you bring it and you're on your own certain cracks and stuff. Is that how he wins? Yeah yeah that's how they do it. Every time he's more creative? Yeah, interpretive cracking.

But anyway, one thing that did happen is yesterday I was just doing it generically around Brisbane, that's where I was, and the first, my first TV cross-goes to air must have been 6.20 or 6.30. I get a text from a rice cooker, or a DM, and he's like, hey duck man, don't turn around when you do the show again. Like, look at that bird's nest on the back of your head. And I was like, what's he thank you I was like what are you talking about? I like feeling my hair because my hair has this ability at the back it can stick up sometimes if I don't have it like you've got a lot of volume

there's so much it's so thick and sometimes it can get a mind of its own I hadn't done it properly whatever don't add you gestured to something I turned around essentially on camera then I I did another cross, get another message. A alfalfa. Sorry, different person now. Different person. You need to get the hair. Oh Darla.

You do the hair and makeup department to look at your hair. Then someone else messaged me and goes, has Shy Guy thrown you under the bus and not helped you with your hair this morning? Shy Guy? I don't have Moonlight as a channel and I'm producer as well? Well this is why, then I message a few of them back including that person and people think Shy Guy, that you come with me when I do these things. Like you're like always on my-

That's cute. I mean I know the media industry is small but it's not that small. You're always like my producer. I'm not like, Shy Guy's, like that would genuinely like tell Shy Guy your hair doesn't look good and I was like, okay I'll message Shy Guy. But also as your producer I would pick up on that. I thought you would trust me with that. That's what they were saying.

They were saying, like, how could Shy Guy throw you under a bus? Part of me was like, they thought I was doing gear. I was like, Shy Guy should have messaged me. He should be out watching it. Hadn't he not seen this video? Absolutely critiquing. Or at least your mum. How did your mum not catch it?

And twice quicker than that. Well, you know how we said Shy Guy was gonna be in the birthing suite for my child? That's right. It just carries on. So now, everywhere I go... Great. We need you to count your- I'm just your life producer.

Yeah! Tick-a-lick-a-lick, tock-a-lick-a-lick Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10k alpha bucks on hit. Alpha bucks. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all started with the same letter. Have to take your first answer, cannot use the same answer twice and if you're in through the questions you say pass we'll come back to you only if there's time

though we are playing for $10,000 and we go to Donna good morning Donna good morning how are you Donna we couldn't be better babe we want to give you $10,000 are you ready to take it off I am I am ready to give it a go. Yes Wanna spend the money on Myself. Yeah. Yeah, great answer. Yeah, whatever don't want when Donna sees it. Have you got your eye on something specific Donna? Relaxation maybe a haircut a massage Treat yourself Donna. Yeah. Well the letter you're gonna work. actually, this is perfect. Donna wants to look after Donna, right? Your letter's I.

I. You yourself an I, you know what I mean? Yes, I see. Yep, okay. All right, Donna, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Are you ready? I'm ready.

Starting with the letter I, we need you to name a country. Island. Something sweet. Ice name. A country. Ireland. Something sweet. Ice cream. A boy's name. Ian. A hotel chain. Irish.

A colour. Indigo. A film franchise. Pass. A beverage. Ice tea. A body part. Pass.

A four letter word. Pass. A body part. Pass. A body part. Pass. A body part. Pass. A body part a four-letter word a Rapper I think a film franchise We were out of the gates very strong we got the first five in about like eight seconds. I was unbelievable. It was quick

He ends off with seven so a film franchise could have been Indiana Jones Harrison yeah and a body part index finger intestine, iris and then a four letter word there's a few iPad, ibis, iced if you will. Look Dona you don't go away empty-handed $100 coming your way for fuel all thanks to Legends at O'Brien. Wow, thank you very much. You're welcome Donna, you can hold your head up high, that was fantastic. Thank you. Welcome, have a great day. It was a good run, it was a valiant effort Donna.

Vowels, they are tough. They are hard, when you do it particularly aww, you know, oh jeez. Donna came out of the gate strong. She did. Indigo! Indigo! Yeah, up next though. Oh yeah, up next.

What did you sit on? One of the great questions. What are we asking, Shy Guy? What did you sit on? What? That's nice. Or... Yeah?

Your ass did what? There he is! Someone's had a weekend. Good job, Shy Guy! Jess and Ducko. What did you sit on? Or... Or...

Your ass did what? Death and Taco. What'd you sit on? Or... Or... You're arsed, Edward. What? Idiot tourists, Taco. We hate them. Classic tourists. Tourists behaving badly. Yep. Oh, can you take us to Italy for this story, please?

Beautiful museums over in Italy. Lots to look at, lots to enjoy. Oh yeah. Lots to take photos of. We're in Verona, the home of Romeo and Juliet. There is a museum there called the Palazzo Maffei and it houses a lot of beautiful works of art. Two tourists have been captured on CCTV wandering through the museum, having a looky look at a few things, taking pictures of a man and a woman.

One of the things that took their interest was a chair. Now when I first read this story and I was like, wow, this is like that guy that ate the banana. He just saw a banana, didn't think that's art and he ate it. The banana was strapped to the wall. It was sticky taped to a wall. It was strapped to the wall. I forgot that detail.

There's a lot of bananas I would eat but they're not the ones sticky taped to a wall. This one when I to the wall. I forgot that detail. There's a lot of bananas I would eat, but not the ones sticky tape to a wall. This one when I read a guy sat on a chair, I went, well, maybe he was tired. He's been wandering around for two hours. I need to take a little sit. Now that I've watched the CEC TV, this seat is covered in Swarovski crystals made by an artist called Nicola Bolla. Yeah, familiar. And it was a dedication to Van Gogh, I'm assuming her favourite maybe artist.

Vincent? Vincent. So it's the Van Gogh chair covered in crystals and it's actually on its own little pedestal. You can see the plaque, it's up against a wall, it's clearly art. But this man has... So it's on display. It's on display, he's a larger gentleman,. He sat his big old caboose on the chair. His partner ready to take a picture because obviously, snap this, he's sitting in the fancy chair.

The big man has crushed the chair, Ducco. A very fragile piece of work has absolutely... It wasn't a load-bearing chair. It was not a load-bearing chair. Particularly on a heavier load. It is 100... what have you famously said? You can't catch me-bearing chair. It was not a load-bearing chair. Particularly on a heavier load. It is 100, what have you famously said? You can't catch me, you fat lad. Yeah, you can't. The chair, you scream it out, you can't sit on me, you fat lad.

Fat lad. So I'm assuming there is the moment she's taken the photo, but they've legged it. So the CCT vet, they've legged it, and security personnel happen to not be in the room at the time, obviously they're just circulating. No one was watching, but they have not come back to find the remnants of this chair, which has a value of...

Anywhere from 15,000 to 100,000. Oh wow, because the crystal's all in there. Depends on where you read. Well the crystals, that's a- 15,000 to 100,000? That's a big bracket. Huge jump. Yeah, but you know, New York Post says one thing,

Nine News says another, you know. Let's say 100,000. Let's say 100,000. Let's say 100,000. The Palazzo Maffei Museum has posted to Facebook saying, we've chosen to share this CCTV, not only to catch these buggers, but just as a warning. When you go to your local shops and they've got the photos of the people who shoplift. Absolutely.

This is Terry. Terry's not welcome back here anymore. He's Dolmentos. 100%. Terry's checks bounce. Yeah, yeah. He's bad egg. Yeah.

In another post to Facebook, they've updated the concerned citizens. We were able to fix the chair. Oh, good. The chair got fixed. No, we were able to fix the chair. So he sat on- But they didn't know if it could be saved. Yeah, well- But I think Nicola Bolla, the artist, has gotten involved and rectified.

So don't make a chair that can't take load. Are you blaming Nicola Bolla? Well, I just- I thought you'd be absolutely Angie the Fat Lad. Don't be sitting on art. Yeah that was definitely on the show. His arse broke art. I'm seeing a photo now it definitely does look like it's on display of art. It just crystals up the toot as well. It depends what you're into but that's not fun. So 13, 10, 60 what'd you sit on? What'd you sit on? Or... Your arse did what?

What? I'd love some support, Shy Guy. Yeah. What? I've gotta lead you in. Oh, sorry. Your arse did what? My, uh, my grandma.

Not Meryl. Don't tell me Sugar Mama! Segway! Don't tell me... No, not Sugar Mama. She rests in peace. Meryl. The more buttoned up one.

That's right. Clutching her pearls. What her ass do? Her ass. How dare you? Hey, you brought up Mez's ass! Don't you come for me! Your mother would be unimpressed with her mother's-

She's probably listening right now. Meryl does listen, although she listens in a different state and I think she's just listening to the local radio. Yeah, but to be fair, she's keeping up to date on the listener app app but she's working her way through. She's got two years to get through. We once went out to a, like it was a family, whether it's a breakfast or a lunch or something like that and she sat on a chair that had so much bird poo on it but she didn't know and she was wearing like a plain black sort of like nice dress. And as she got up she had bird poo all over her butt. Oh it was fresh bird poo. And we're all just like no one tell her. Oh joining Brow one tell her. Let her just walk around with that thing on. But you know what, she would have got home, taken that dress off and gone, I've either soiled myself or my family hasn't told me I've been walking around like this for hours.

How can my family not tell me this? Poor Meryl. At least her ass cleaned the seat for the next patron. That's one way to look at it. That's actually community service from Merrill. That's all she does. So you know, 13 10 60. What'd you sit on? Or... Or... You're a Stid... Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaia What do you got Romeo and Juliet news? No. Starcross lovers unite. No. We don't know where these tourists hail from. They better not be Aussies. Could be Americans. Oh we'd wreak some Americans. Always. They're at Verona's Palazzo Maffei Museum. There is a chair there. It's called the Van Gogh chair but it was done by an artist called Nicola Bolla. Pricing from anywhere, you can't have art, you know, but from all reports, anywhere between $15,000 and $100,000. Turns out you were willing to pay for it.

Whether you broke a $15,000 chair or a $100,000 chair, both bad. And these tourists sat on the chair trying to take a pic and it's crumbled beneath him. It was not a load-bearing chair. So we want to know what you sit on. Or... Or... Your're arsed. What? Also we had a Carrie message in on 0488881069. She sat on glass in the bath and sliced her bum. Lots of follow-up questions there. Why was the glass in the bath? Did it submerge and drown? And also that would hurt. This is why we don't eat or drink in the bath. Jess. If you smash a glass. Oh, yeah, that's why they're pooled. No glass bottles in the pool. No glass bottles in the pool. Cans only. I can't be having a sliced bum.

Oh, it'd be horrible. In the bath. How could you ever trust again? You want to relax in the bath? You'd never be able to. But I'd constantly be tense. Oh, yeah, which is probably worse. You'd be clenched. Divity on 13 10 60 what happened to you? I was about five years old in New Zealand with my grandparents and I sat on a ledge overlooking a lake Not realizing that there was swans behind me and one pecked me on the bum. Oh no a bum attack again What's going on? Oh no. That's a different topic. When's your bum get pecked? I'll take it today, Dimity. So did it hurt? Your mum's bum got pecked by what? Yes, Dimity. They are beautiful, graceful creatures but damn aggressive, right?

They are. Definitely. And now I can't look at a swan without thinking back to when I was five and got pecked. And my family won't let me live it down either. Nah, fair enough. What's your nickname? Yeah. Oh, Swanbum. Swanbum.

Becky, Becky, Bot, Bot. Look at that alligator. Yep. Do you even love it? Yes. Yep. Ah, Demi, thank you for that. Oh, thank you for getting involved.

Oh, that would have been horrible. There you go. So tomorrow, what, peck your bum? Yes, I think so. Yes, and think so. Jess and Ducco. I was in distress a lot of last week, Ducco, because I'd misplaced something, something expensive, something I hadn't even taken out of the fricking box. I bought myself some lapel mics.

You would see all your favourite content creators and people who have a bit of an online presence, a little microphone they might attach to the collar of their shirt or dress. It just helps with your audio quality. Shy Guy can attest my phone has packed up. I think I submerged it in water. My sound mic on the phone. Shocking.

I thought I'm going to bite the bullet, actually buy these expensive lapel mics. We might be able to use them for the show when we do little videos. I thought I'll go and tax right off. I'll just buy them. Hadn't even had a chance to use them. Don't say that part. But anyway, keep going. Stop it.

You can. It's a mic and I'm in radio. Now she's talking about it on air. Thank you. Tick. Thank you, Ducker. Yeah. Yeah.

But anyway, I didn't even get a chance to use them and they went walkabout and I was just kicking myself. It felt like a really stupid, am I an adult? Like I can't keep track of my own stuff. What am I so flippant with these expensive things? Tore my house apart, tore my car apart, tried to sit my 18 month old down being like, have you taken mummy's mikes? What are you doing? Exactly. Got really mad at Angus when he said he hadn't seen them. I went, cause he sorts all my issues out. When he couldn't help me with this one, I got annoyed. I was like, why aren't you helping me? He's like, well,

I don't know where they are. You lost them. Anyway, his fault. Obviously. So I went, well, I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I'm gonna have to enlist power from above. So I told you on Friday, I had to eat humble pie cause I called my mum, good Catholic lady, I said can you talk to your man upstairs, St Anthony, he's the patron saint of lost things, my mum loves him. Yeah, she always talks about him. Always talks about him, credits him with everything good in her life. We thought it was fake but he's a real, yeah that's a real thing.

That's a real thing. I called my mum, I said this must have been Thursday last week, I said ma can you help me can you put in a good word, she went I can't just be the one. It's your thing. You got to, you do it. Get on your knees, pray. I said, okay. So at the foot of my bed, put in a call, put in a call to the big man. Hey man. Hey man.

I don't often speak to you. I said, I know I make fun of my mum for talking to you, but prove me wrong. Yeah. Prove me wrong. This is where you left it with us on Friday. You still hadn't found them. No. My mum calls me after the show Friday checking in. Have you found them yet?

I said no, Ma. Your bloke's holding out on me. Maybe I made too much fun. I literally look down. No. The console of my car. The middle console. Yeah. They were sitting right there. And you and Angus both didn't see me in there? How did I miss them, Duck or they?

Like where the drink, like, water bottles go. Yes, yes, so sort of where the cup holders are. Yeah. There's like a little tray. Yeah. It is like a dark charcoal grey. Yeah. The exact colour of the box.

So obviously my mind, maybe in the franticness, just skimmed over them. But in this moment I looked down and went oh my god. Actually he's done it. He's done it. Anthony has done it. So obviously I put that call back into my mum. I said oh my god. First I texted you guys being like pull me down for an update. And then my mum went on a bit of a tirade. I said stop because Ducco they're not going to believe me with how passionate you are. Can you record what you're saying? She's like don't make me. I said do it. I work on radio.

This is the speech my mum gave me after her boy had helped me found my missing item. Jessica, I am dead set serious about this. You cannot take, take, take from St. Anthony. You have to show gratitude and you have to thank him profusely for helping you find what you had lost. Very serious about this, honey. Please keep thanking him. You can hear it in her tone that she means it. She mentioned. Showing gratitude for him for helping you find it.

Well, I went for a walk. Yeah, what did you do? And out loud I was like, hey man. How do you show gratitude to him? Do you just be nice and kind to others? That's what I said. I went, I'll give to charity. She goes, no. Also tax write off.

Obviously. That would keep your receipts. That was before, before I'd given the charity before. She went, no, no, what are you doing? Moving forward. Yeah, right. So I'm walking the dog going, hey St. Anthony. Hey Anthony, it's me again. Because I said, can't I just say it in my mind?

She goes, out loud. So I'm walking onto her. Yeah. Out loud, thank you St. Anthony. To not get him offside. Well there you go. Maybe. Out loud thanking St Anthony. To not get him offside. Well there you go, maybe Anthony does work in mysterious ways. So anyway.

You can't take take take from Anthony. You give to him. So if we've taught you anything on this show that he's the patron saint, yadda yadda, you would like to utilise his services, just make sure. You don't take take take. Don't take from Anthony. You thank, thank, thank thank Jess and Ducco. Be a Monday been a great show thus far you missed any of it make sure you grab it on listener or wherever you get your podcasts wherever

you get we're not gonna judge listener is the superior of course obviously yeah I still think a lot about that person who messaged us midway going hey I'm listening to Monday's show yeah during the show! Crazy. Hey but that's the thing listen to man whenever you want, however you want. Our whole history lives there. So if you're like... Like Shy Guy's mum listens to our show she catches up behind. She'll be on Friday's episode driving to work right now. Yep. Actually she'll be at work. Oh Friday was a bit of a loose podcast chat too for your mum to hear. Yeah. Yep. We talked about it. She's like do you care that I listen and no? I was like you know everything anyway.

Portable City. You know, we were talking intimately about his father and about... Oh my goodness! Yeah! Circumcisions. That was a great one! Yeah, there's a lot of... you should always go to the... Usually you get 15 minutes of just extra stuff. I know, it's always funny because, you know, Ducco's on the pots and pans over there. He goes, guys, that was 28 minutes long! Well, where'd the time go?

I've got to get to the post office. Toodaloo. I'm going to go collect some stamps. Bye. I mean you get there and they're closed anyway. Why? Oh we're out to lunch are they? Any place I know. We'll be back in two hours. Excuse me. I've got things to post. What are you possibly doing? My mum left all her garlic at my house that we bought from the market so I had to post it to her. You're joking. You didn't just leave it? She didn't just leave it? No, because I bought so much garlic for myself and I bought extra for her to take back to Melbourne. How did you find that back? Yeah.

Just put it in a container? In a little box. In her bag? Like it came in a bag. And she left it at home? She left it at my house. So you posted it? So I kept it in that bag and then put it in a box.

And then posted it. A post box, yeah. Was that express? Surely you got that express. No, I didn't do express. What if that takes four days? Garlic's dead. How long does the garlic last?

Does it travel well? As long as it's in an airtight container, I taped it up. Yeah, it should be alright. It's alright. Like I just keep it in the pantry in a tupperware, what's the difference? Do you have to tell the post office what it is? I didn't. I don't think so.

No, they just weigh it. Like, oh yep, half kilo. Hang on, sniffy dogs, what's in this? Yeah, and it's just garlic. That's Russian garlic. What's happening here? Russian garlic, was it? Yeah, the giant Russian garlic.

I've never seen a Russian garlic. Oh, tough. I've got plenty at my house, I'll bring you one. What do you use that for? What you use normal garlic for? Absolutely, I find it easier to work with. You don't crush it, it doesn't work in a garlic crusher because it's softer, but I like my garlic sliced. Of course. It's a whole thing.

What's for dinner tonight? Anyway that's why I needed to go to the post office. Yeah I see. You know what, someone brought up chicken cacciatore this morning and I haven't stopped thinking about it. My mum made that when we were back in Brizzy. I think I want chicken cacciatore. It was very nice. She makes a good one. She does make a really good one. Do she use kalamata olives or black olives? I don't know Jess. You started this. Why did you ask? Why? It's like I don't know you. There were olives in there. I'll message your mum. It's good though. Does she suck your breath? Shut up. I've got a Russian garlic fact for you. Here we go. Here's a more closer related to the leek than it is a garlic. Wow. And I love leek. You do love a leek. You know that about me. Can you tell us in detail why? It's actually called elephant garlic technically. Oh wow. Huge choice. I'll tell me mate at the bottom. How are you feeling out there Babs? You've been a bit quiet today? Yeah I'm good. She has been quiet hasn't she? Yeah she played soccer last night she saw, she's sore. She's been groaning and moaning.

I think we need to put a rule in Babs, you're not allowed to do anything extra curricular, impacts your working day. Oh well. That's a fair bit. So you're playing soccer again tonight aren't you? Or tomorrow? Oh Jesus, I don't think she's ready. She's not recovered.

She's not ready to go. Do you want to go over to Ducko's house and have an Epsom bath? Oh that could be nice. Jump in the... Don't we have to pre-pour it before you get there? Pre-run it? Sure, that'd be nice. I'm gonna go bathe waiting, thanks. Alright, just let me know when you're on the way and I'll fill it up.

What are we doing this afternoon, honey? Babs is coming over for the bath. To get nude. No one's allowed in the bathroom of our house for an hour. Did you just hear Babs in the bath? Just crying. Oh, it's 3pm. Babs is here. You're not allowed to cry in other people's baths. That's my bath for crying. There's nothing weirder than someone else uses your bath. Oh, it's weird, isn't it? It happened with dog sitters a while ago and they sent us a photo, or they posted a photo I think on there, there this is like years ago and they were in our bath and I was like don't be out of sight out of mind do whatever you want at my house I don't need to see it. Don't use your cheeks on me bath.

Yeah it's a weird thing to share isn't it? It is a weird thing to share even though it's just applies isn't the right word like it's fine if they use your toilet. Anyone uses it. Bath feels so intimate. What would Angus because he loves the bath. what would he do if I was in his bath? I don't know if that's... It's almost like taking your wife. It's indecent proposal stuff. Your nuts have been where his nuts go. Yeah, that's on my butt cheeks I think. And you have to sit over the plug hole. Yeah, I always sit... Pull the plug out, yeah, this is the suck. Yeah, I always sit, just a little bit of pulling every now and then. On what? The plug.

Get your head in the game. Anyway, we're out of here. We're back tomorrow. I don't know what else you do in the barn. I don't think I'm going to be able to look at the plug hole this time. Neither will Angus. It's going to be a big Tuesday tomorrow guys. All bring your A-game alright. See you later.

Bye. Bye. How you going? Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Pink chicken is upon us with the new McWings at Maccas.