Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I like weather systems

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

Jess looses faith in humanity, Producer Babs gives us a blog report and we ask what did you wanna be when you grew up?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho range is here at the cafe. Jess and Douggo! This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the power. We live in the day, yeah. Podcast, fuck yeah! Hello, podcast aficionados.

Hello. Wonderful to be here for a Tuesday. Yep. Good old Tuesdays, huh? Good old Tuesday. What's on the agenda today, my man? Oh, we've got to go to Bunnings today. Oh, I've got some things to tick off.

Yeah, because we're moving house. Oh, well, we're selling our house because we're moving states. Has your real estate agent said anything about let's promote this is Ducko's house? No, they haven't said that. I haven't said that actually. You know, maybe it will help. Like, is it a plus? You know what I mean?

Yeah, it might. It might. I don't want people coming and knowing it was me living there. It's a bit weird. Or even if just people's sticky beak. Yeah. Because they're putting a sign up on the main road side of our house, which we don't often use. Just like coming.

Coming soon. Yeah, coming soon. Yep. That's smart. More traffic. Yeah, more traffic. We're going to sell it probably in February. Okay. But we've got to get everything out and we're going to fix a few things. Like just paint a few things over and I've got to paint a lattice, which is why we're going to bunnings. Because they're going to fix the boards and the deck that are broken. And he's like, yeah, then we'll re-rent the deck.

Or like they charge it. Basically, it all comes out after settlement. So they basically employ their handyman to come and he might do 10 grand worth of painting and fixing. And then they stage it. We take that little clip off the top. And then they stage it. Staging the house. For us,

staging a house. We did it years ago, and I don't even remember, but it's not cheap. It's not cheap. For ours, and we've got like a three-bedroom, but it's not a big house. Are they doing the three bedrooms, the living area, and what some decorations, maybe in the bathroom, maybe some ornaments on the bench? Five grand. Jesus, the linen.

I know, I know. Wait, so will it be their beds and stuff? I think so. No, because all our stuff's gone. All their stuff. So essentially, we're moving out, like, on the 19th. And how long will it be staged for? Like, five grand.

and hiring for a month. I'm not sure how long that I'll be. I do. I found this when we sold our house, this many years ago. We redid the carpets to try and make it look nicer, obviously, and then did the professional staging. And once we had those two things in play,

I went, maybe this house is awesome. And Angus had to be like, no, no, it's because they made the bed nicely. That's what they said. They're like, you can not stage it. And honestly, you could lose on the house. You might not make 50 to 60. Bro, 100%.

Sometimes even 100K. 100%. I want to be able to see myself in this place. So it's that also, that thing, because I've obviously got stupid style. So sometimes I walk into places that have been staged really cold. Yeah. And I'm like, to me, you've lost it. Yeah.

Because now I can't visualize my quirky shit. Yeah. Whereas to the right person, that could add on thousands of dollars. Yeah, so we've got to get everything out. And they're going to stage it. They're going to fix everything. Then they're going to stage it. Obviously, we're friends with the real estate agent.

So they're going to take the keys and just sort of get all this done. Amazing. But we've got to paint a lattice before we go. I've got to gurny a few things. What did they determine you can do that, but we'll do this. Well, it was sort of like, do you want to get the deck? And I was like, I don't want to fix the deck. And I'm not repainting.

And I did it last year. They're like, we can do that. And there's like a few little chips in a wall or whatever. They've got to just sand over and repaint. They're obviously going to do that. But the lattice one, it was like, it's just white paint on a lattice. Like it's pretty easy to do. And no, you can do that if you get time.

If you don't, we'll do it. So that's why we're kind of like. They might charge you. Who knows. If they're painting all that extra for the manpower or whatever. So we're going to try and go to Bunnings, get the paint. My dad and mum are actually coming tonight because we're in Sydney Thursday night

So they're coming to look after Flo It's our first night both away from Flow Oh my gosh Yeah yeah yeah Your parents must be so excited They're like we're on decky They are excited They're a bit nervous

And Morgan's very nervous too Oh well she's a miracle baby Yeah well that's she's perfect I get it Isn't she perfect? Well she's perfect So yeah they're doing all that But I'm going to ask Dad to help me paint the lattice

While he's here What job did you make him do last? The deck This time last year Sending the deck He came over and we sanded and painted the deck, the entire thing. Does he know yet that he's got a job? No.

No, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to spring it on him tonight. So I'll tell you tomorrow morning on the show how it goes. Get a nice red. Yeah. Get him halfway through it and then be like, oh, dad, tomorrow. Looks like it's going to be nice weather.

What do you say? You and me. I remember last time we stand at the deck, we got a bit loopy and losing. Dad just started painting the wall. That's right. This is just a ladder status. Don't make more work for the real estate agents have to fix. Where are we going?

What are we doing? He likes painting, though, Dad. I think it's just like the monotonous, repetitive nature, and it's quite simple. He just sort of gets into his own. You'll be surprised. I've never painted anything in my life. Oh, it's boring as well.

No. I hate painting. You painted that portrait of Dhaka when we first started. Yes. That's true. I've painted pictures. You're going to take that with you. I was going to say, yeah, do we keep that? Just looming over the new person?

Yeah, for sure. And I'll keep my picture of Pam here on the screen. Absolutely. You know, I'll imagine all will stay up. All will stay absolutely the same. I reckon we keep doing Ducko's acting class as well. Just change it to insert new person. No, no.

The branding is bolter on. Yeah, I'm not getting a new opener. I think we leave all the Jess and Ducko production too, all right. Yeah, may as well. Just keep pretending it's me. We'll just have to make him drop it. And just say it. Even if you just start referring to him as Ducko.

It would be a lot easier. It would be a lot easier. My back tat would make more sense. Yeah, because that means, that means Ducko. That means Duck. In Napoleon. Duggo was. I can't wait for the email in 12 months from now.

And it's like, hi, would Jess and Ducson Ducco like to talk other than, oh, he left 12 months ago. Yeah. But also just go. With it, they'll never know. They'll never know. No one knows who's talking to us anyway. Who was the one we had and they were like, oh, yeah, it's nice in Adelaide this time of the year.

We're like, nope. Yeah, that ain't us. We're in New South Wales. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, classic. Anyway, so that's my day. Yeah. What do you got?

My day revolves around your day a little bit. Your wife is clear in house. I gave you guys a bunch of shit that I was like, ha ha, your problem now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She very kindly months ago said, oh, we'll hold on to her. Yeah. I know you're in an apartment. Like, we'll get these clothes that flow has grown out of.

Lucia's, you know, hand me down. The bassinet, we'll hold on to it, put in the shed. And Morgan mess with me last night being like, hey, can I drop your shit back over? I was like, get rid of it. Yes, fair. So I'll go get that and dump it in our storage situation. So you'll be over at some stage.

I will be over at some stage. Go get myself a little facial first. Oh, mommy needs a treat. Oh, as you do. Yeah, tell you what, we are, like, we can't even get excited for Christmas now because we're not even putting up a tree because we're going to be out on the 20th and it's just so, there is so much to do. Where will you be for Christmas? Your parents?

Your parents? Well, Morgan's parents technically, but will be like having a home home. No. Oh, wild. And the time was saying... Hey, actually, what are you going to do with the Christmas tree? You've got a little... Can I have it? Yeah, you can have. It's not little little. It's like, probably that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, not like a bench one. Yeah. I told you, we bought a stupid, we. I bought a a stupid big one. Yeah. Can't put it in the park. Can I have you. Yeah. I'll give it to you

today. I'll take that off. Morgan, Morgan, we'll be happy. Get rid of more. Yeah, yeah, it's yours. Angers will be so upset. I'm going to come home with way more stuff. Yeah, yeah, boy, what? How did you get this? And Duckett gave me this, and he gave me this. I've also got dumbbells.

Look at this Pam Borgle. When I wake up, wake up, wake up. When you wake up, it's Jess and Ducco. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know, I got the shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up with you. I'm not that easy to take. Yes.

Anyway, oh, yeah, poor butthole. I got to explain. Ducko. What do they look at me when I'm in the nude? And they go, oh, the room is after he is. I got him going insane. But all that he got C, C, C, C, C, C, C. Um, yeah, good show.

Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Yes, it is right on 6 o'clock. Welcome to Tuesday, gang. Good, bloody morning. Good morning. What a pleasure to be here. Pleasure and honour, you know.

Some would say a privilege. Ah, privilege. What a privilege it is to do what we do. Yeah. Hey, can you please. Play me, the 24 sound effect. It's going to make a lot of sense when I say this. Okay.

Oh, well, let me get her up. Please do. Let me fire at the 24 sound effect. Okay. 24 more shows together, brother. Oh. That would obviously only have worked today. Yeah.

Because tomorrow that will be irrelevant. 24. How many hours in the day? How many shows? Yeah. Of the Jess and Ducco show. Now, are you including Friday in that? Oh, you're off.

So technically it's 23. Oh, my God, I needed to do it. Damn, we missed. I shouldn't just said anything. I forgot you're not here. Yeah, way Friday. I forgot you're not. I'm not getting...

You looked me in the eye and said, I'm not taking my finger off the pulse, my foot off the gas. Yeah, yeah. Bloody. Rufus in town. I'm going to need the day. I booked this one months ago, too. This has been on the calendar for a while, but that was before you.

left us. Annoyingly, the band made only one show on a Thursday night, so we booked it, and then they make a Friday and a Saturday show. Which, you should have known. They always do a temperature check. Oh, we sold out. Of course you're going to sell out. And then they announced Friday and Saturday shows.

Cool's just going Friday. But super fan over here. Yeah, go on Thursday. First cab off the ranked buy tickets. I know. What an idiot. You should have known. I don't know.

I've dragged with all our friends. We've got like six friends coming as well. Have they cleared the schedules? Yeah, well, they're all like, I'm going to struggle to get there. to work, like, because they're all like 7.30 and we're going to get there, like, oh, kind of... So, no, I'm not going to count it because whilst Shiger will sit in your seat and say, hey, it's the Jess and Ducco show, the ducko part won't be here. So it's 23. 23 shows. Oh, my God, the year is flying. It's going so quick. It's like sand through my hands. You know, when you hold onto sand

tighter, it falls through your fingers faster. Is that what you do when you go to the beach? You just grab sand and just hold on to it. I don't look at the kid playing in the water. I'm like, check this out. Look at the sand of time. Master of physics. Whoa. Yeah, 23. But hey, 23 great shows.

Absolutely. Lots of fun to be. Who's to say? Yeah, it could be average, you know. I mean, are we phoning it in? I don't know. Shall I? I'm not.

We didn't book Thursday night concerts? Yeah. Only you. I know. I know. But anyway, you're right. I came on Friday after being up a lot with a colonoscopy. So give me something.

I will give you something. I will throw him the boat. Yeah, yeah. Give me some. Throw me a bone. But yes, we are going to have some fun. Have a great bloody time. Yeah, yeah, we're feeling good today.

Feeling fantastic. I woke up really hungry. Yeah. But I've had me protein shake. You're back on level. I'm equalised. Yeah. How are you?

I'm good. Very good. I feel pretty good. I slept through the first alarm today, which I never normally do. Oh, that's different for you. And then the second went off and I was like in a startle. A little bit rattled. Yeah, a little bit rattled.

Okay. Yeah. I need a protein shake. What do you need? Maybe I need to get up earlier and go to the gym like you do. Oh, babe. Well, you've got 23 shows with which left to join me. You know what?

There's a part of me every day that goes, is he going to come today? Is he going to come to check if I actually am here? Oh, he didn't come today. I have to take my word for it. I am actually going. Yeah, I'm taking your word, your honesty. These guns don't lie.

I know. Look at them. Gaines? I found out today Babs went to the gym. That's right, which she has mentioned before. Yeah, but you know, bat. Like, she always mentions her walks in the other where she cries. She doesn't say a lot with conviction.

No, and then she stopped there and goes, I've got my headphones. I'm like, why do you need headphones for a gym you don't go to? Picks, or it didn't happen today, Babs. Yeah. I'll send a picture. She probably puts it on her close friends story that we are not a part of. Bazz will usually send me a pick.

Oh, my God, what of your booty? No, no, no, just like of the weights on the floor. What? You send me, I'll bring it up. Here we go, great chats. So, do you follow a program when you go to the gym, Babs? Because you obviously go solo. Yeah.

I do. Mom's on a Tuesday or Wednesday and then legs on a Friday. Hell yeah. That could not have sound. No, I actually do. And then if I go on the weekend, I'll do back and advise or whatever. Okay. Get it, Sif?

We should train together. You guys should train together pre-show. Oh, yeah. Just got to get up an hour earlier. What's an hour amongst friends? Then you can do booty bands stuff with jazz. Love booty bands. I'm all about those donkey kicks.

I've done those before. You have to teach me. Yeah, I would love a bunch of them. teach you. Babs sent me this on the 19th of May. Okay. It was a while ago. Doesn't always send you photos. I'm just saying she sent me a photo.

Just to prove, I'm near. It's her feet on the gym floor. Could have been anywhere, though. Really could have been. It could have been. Could have been hard rubbish. I've just found some dumbbells. I'm going to make this look like I'm in a gym.

I want gym photos today, Babs. Okay. Anyway, the team's obviously firing. Obviously. Because we've got a huge show for you at Alphabucks. We've got more chances to go see Oprah. That's right. That's our call of fame.

We'll throw in some accommodation as well. Yeah, we've got some blog action on the show today. Hopefully she's ready for that. Hopefully she's fired up. But up next, Ducco. What do you got for me? You know, I don't usually bring you AI or robot advancements. But this story is a little bit too sci-fi, a little bit to, you know, 2062.

Okay. To not discuss what the scientists want to do, what they want to put in us. I actually could have helped with your colonoscopy. Yes and Ducco. Can you please take us to Switzerland? I knew you were going to do that. That's Swedish House Mafia. Yeah.

I said Switzerland. You guys all asked for Swedish House Mafia in that. I said Switzerland. I still don't know where we went wrong. Yeah, Swedish House. Sorry, Switzerland and Sweden are two different countries, babe. Oh, so they are. All right.

But I thought it was fun to get Swedish House Mafia anyway. Oh, hey, I'm happy for Crowbar Swedish House Mafia. Anyway, now you can tell her in Switzerland. Yeah. Roger Federer hasn't released any music. No, he's not that much. And as I'm going through the list of musicians from Switzerland, Unfortunately, I don't know.

DJ Bobo? I don't think... DJ Bobo. Do we have any DJ Bobo? Yeah, we get some Bobo in the system. What about DJ Antoine? Oh, Antoine. Yep.

Yeah, we've got DJ Antoine. Um, Wikipedia is saying Tina Turner, which... Are she? That was she born in Switzerland? I mean, it's Wikipedia that you're on. Yeah, absolutely. Danger. I thought she was born in America.

We're in Switzerland, Ducco, because they're doing something with robots. Oh. And I'm always hit and miss with the advancements in robot and AI technology. Oh, yeah. I won. How do you feel about this? As someone who just underwent a medical procedure, which was all human slash camera on a pole,

your colonoscopy up the door. Thank you, yep. Researchers at the Federal Technology Institute in Zurich want to help fight diseases by sending tiny robots into your body. Like inner health plus. Have you had your own in a health plus today? Exactly. Like the little people that are inside.

So through the blood vessels, they'll send microbots. They're called to deliver essential drugs at the site they're needed. And then what, then they get it? How do they come out? Because they're only coming out of one of your holes. This is a great question. Do you pee pee them out? Did you poo poo them out?

Do they dissolve? They could be injected in, right? I imagine. Yes, into the head of arteries. So they find the big ones. Vanes might be almost too thin. Are they being controlled by someone on a remote? So it combines three different magnetic navigation strategies,

which then the person on the outside can, control where they go. So it's not like they just release them in, like the magic school bus and misfrizzle drives around. Drives around. That's what I'm picturing. It's sort of like it's controlled from the outside, but they're inside you, inside your arteries. No, that's, I mean, they'll get lost.

What if they go a wrong turn? What if they go to something they think, like, for me, for example, right, my shoulder, I'll just cater it a few times. So if they think, oh, I've got to get there, but really, no, the pain's not there. Exactly. And that's where they release. Because I almost think they've only tested it on pigs and sheep. They haven't done humans yet.

I'd love to see the fee. You know how people can put their bodies on the line for medical research and say, yeah, test it on me. Yeah, put the robots in my body. And you get a fee. How much are you charging for that? I'd want a pretty penny. And also, like, are you trusting with people on the remotes?

What if they make a wrong turn or I get lost? I almost would trust a gamer over a scientist. I was like, get me someone who has been gaming since they were 14. Who can get through me body. To control the micro-robots, not just some nerdy scientists. So at the site, within the body... And what do they do? I'm picturing literally like in Health Plus.

They just literally come in. I just spray this big white hose. So it's like the microbots are holding the drugs. They're holding the medicine. What? So once it gets to, let's say, you've got a tumour in your femur area, like the thigh area. I guess they pump the microbots in. It's meant to, at the site where it's needed, release the medication.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like that's the point. They go in there. They release it. Why the microbots enjoying it. They're going to get it out somehow. I think it'd be like, you know, when there's a bushfire and the helicopter with the water, the dumps. Yeah.

So it's almost like, we're not going to dump it at the wrong spot. We wait till we're over the fire. Right. Release. It's kind of like what the microbots are doing. It just feels, I mean, cool if it could work and then they could come out safely. But it just feels like they've been more questions and there's more danger. I know.

And now we're adding in high frequency magnetic fields to control the microbots. Again, that doesn't feel great. What do I know? I'm not a scientist, nor. a medical research. You like swallow them and you can watch them just like work their way down

to where you're going. That'll be in the future, don't you think? There'll be some sort of full body X-ray style machine, kind of like the scanners at the airport, where you then can see inside yourself and go, oh, that's the problem.

There they are. Oh, that's the issue. Yeah. What I thought was a stomach cramp is actually a gallstone. And then what if, right? One of them is like a Shagai-esque character and just like...

The microbot? Yeah, and refuses to leave. No, I want to stay here. Absolutely. Just try and home. I want to occupy this body forever. Like a kid in came up. I'm never leaving.

I'm going to hide behind a rack of the bones. And the other's like, we've got to go, Shagai. And they all get out. They're all evacuating. And then Shaigo just stays in the colon or something. Because my brain, oh, that's obviously where you choose to be, safe and warm. My idea of the microbody is not that they're built to be tiny. It's that they were once big and then they use the Ant-Man thing and shrink them down.

Yeah. So they're going to re-big. You've got to get out of there, man. You're going to re-big. You're going to blow out of ducos back. I don't want that. I'm constantly trying to get him out. But also I don't mind sure I going there.

I'm like, ah, he can stay. He's tickling the walls. Lizzo. Good as hell. Good breakfast, Jess and Daco, the 621. Hey, welcome to a glorious Tuesday team. Don't forget, Alphox, your chance of $10,000, of course, coming when we play at 7 and 8. But Jess isn't in the studio right now.

She's obviously somewhere else. Oh, how do you do? Good morning. Just forget we're on air. Sorry, I was like, where's Jess? I was like, I don't think she's in the toilet. You know what's funny? I just saw her in the kitchen and Lizzo had started and then she went to the toilet.

And I was like, there's no... I miss that Lizzo had started. There's no way. She's dropping one two minutes and 30 seconds. I feel like Lizzo went for longer than two minutes 30 though. I miss that Lizzo had started. I would never have done that. I need my time.

Yeah, two minutes 30. Clearly. Yeah, you're... I'm not rushing a puppy. Yeah, well, you didn't. No. I was teasing everything coming up. I was like, and then at 721, we'll be doing this at 753.

Oh, then I also got my lip balm. Oh, my apologies. It's all right. Very unprofessional. We'll run out of time anyway. We started this show by saying we will not take our foot off again. Oh, it's, mate, it's nearly December. The jingle bells are ringing.

I went to the post office yesterday. They were blaring underneath the tree, Kelly Clarkson. Why not? Not mad about it. Let's get fested. Let's do it. Amen. No, but I really want to hear about the sporting nicknames.

Oh, yeah. Sporting nicknames. Because we were talking yesterday about Nathan Lyon, who's now called Gary. Because Gary the goat. And it doesn't make much sense apart from that. He's the greatest of all time finger spinner, you know? I'm not going to ask any more questions because you weren't able to answer them yesterday, and we spent too long on it.

I've just literally answered it just in that one sentence. But there's no explanation. The goat. Greatest of all time. But what's the Gary part? Because he looked, Gary the goat, because the goat, Gary the goat. But is Gary the goat a character? Have I missed that?

I don't know. Don't ever think it. It's not like Sean the sheep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's not Gary the Goh. It might be. Is there a Gary the goat character? Are they just because it sort of works?

Yeah, maybe it just works. And also when you see him, it just works. You just look at him. Yeah, he's a goat-like. He's goat-like. So I've got some other sporting stars, not necessarily cricket, but sporting stars around the world with funny nicknames, right? Try not to ask too many questions.

So there was a guy called Keith Wood, who was an Irish rugby player. Back in the early 2000s, sort of 2003-thous, he was their captain. Keith Wood. He was little and fat and bald. Chode. The raging potato. Fewer questions. That's fantastic.

But are they yelling that out on the field? Go raging potato. Raging potato, I'm open. Potato, I think he's just called Tots for short. Tops. What about this? There's an NBA player called Brooke Lopez. So they called him Bropez.

Broke Lopez. Yeah, I get it. That's good. That's good. Oh, like J-Lo. Like J-Lo. Yeah. What?

What about this? There was a baseballer. Bartolo Colin. He had the nickname. He had the nickname. Big sexy because he was really unattractive. One of my brother's friends is called Big Sexy, but I thought it's because he's hot. Yeah, no.

But is that a, it's like calling a bald guy curling. Exactly. It's like calling me like Tallman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Wheels. Big Wheels. What about this one? I like this one.

Hey, Tallman. I like me 23 shows to go. It's Jessen the Tor Man. Jessin the Slender Man. I like this one. They called Freddie Mitchell, who's an NFL player who could, who could not catch a pass. a receiver. Sure.

I used to call him Fred X because he'd never come on time. Like FedEx. Yeah, I got it. I got it. Excellent. And then this one's my favourite. Because I didn't know this athlete. He was basketball up.

And his name, his name looks wrong. It's Aaron Afalalalalo. That's his name on his birth certificate. So he got spell check. I mean, you're getting the red squiggly line every time. Everyone's like, Afala. No, spell check. I'm open.

Jess and Ducko Hey, it's Babs And this is my blog Commence Operation Superstar Bratsleigh Babbs is in studio She's taking no prisoners No, not today Yeah, what's going on?

Hey, your hair looks more It's changed colour again I washed it last night Ah ha, we cleaned out of the dirt It's not just, it's not being held down by oil Get it a little blow dry You've just, you had a little glow up If I had a dollar for every time

You've done something to your head, nah, just washed it It's actually so humbling. I'm like, sorry. Take better care of. I meant it as a compliment, you know? Thank you. This is why we don't say anything, right, Shagga? Right.

It's just better to say nothing. Shagga's not even saying anything out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're on your own. Staying out of it. Yeah. What do you go for us today? Well, my housemate, Doocy, did something really dumb yesterday.

Yeah, like super dumb. Yeah. The only way she'll learn is if you shame her on the radio. Well, she actually said I give you full permission to do this because I need to punish myself. Here we go. I'm so bad. Well, I think it was done, but, you know. So I get a distressed call while I'm cooking dinner.

It was probably like 5.30 yesterday. And Doocy was like, oh, my God, can someone please come and drop me a key for my car? Because the one that I have, it's not working. I can't unlock my car. I'm so busy. I'm going to go to work. Yeah. She was stuck somewhere.

She was like, I need to go immediately. Like, can you bring it to me? And I said, dull, I'm cooking my steak. I can't. But I love, buddy. You're on your own. I'm cooking me steak. It's a juicy one.

Well, it was on the pan. Yeah, I was like, you know, I've got to time this. Three minutes each side. If I leave it resting too long, it'll keep cooking. What did you have with your steak? I have broccoli, corn and sweet potato. That's a very Jess question. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I should have drilled down it. It's quite nice, actually. Any other questions? So you've, you... Oh, and an egg. Whoa, all right, gains. Protein. I just felt like an egg.

So hang on. So your friend slash housemate, a woman you have to see a lot, calls you in a panic and you went, nah, you're on your own. Well, I said I can come, but I'm cooking a steak, so I can't, like, I need to finish this and then I'll do it. But you said she was in distress. She clearly was upset. She said, like, she's been crying. She's not good for me.

But also, but you had a steak to cook. No, but I said to her, I was like, Lottie is about to leave to go get groceries. Do you mean to see if she can do it. You mean, Fottie. Yeah, Fottie. Yeah, Fottie was about to leave. So then I stuck my head around and said, Fottie, would you like to go and take this key to Lucy? Otherwise, I can do it.

I need to finish cooking my steak. She's like, where is she? Anyway, Fottie goes and helps Lucy. Fottie does it, okay. And what was the problem? Well, Fottie comes home and goes, you won't believe what Ducey just did. I said, what?

She said she was trying to unlock the wrong car the whole time. Oh. Apparently her car was parked three cars down. No. Tell me it was the same vehicle. It was the same making model. Yeah. But she was apparently jamming the key into this person's car

and trying to unlock it. Oh, my. It's old school. Like, no, she was like, my fob is not working, but, like, the light's coming on. So, you know, she's crying on the phone to her dad, like, fully like, this fob's not working. The battery's in it, but it's not working. I need to go old school. I got to put the key in.

But then when Lottie rocked up, because she had parked closer to, I mean, not Lottie, Fottie. Oh, no. You've also called her Lucy a half the time as well. It's, the real is broken. You got two focus on the Fottie. Anyway, moral of the story is Ducey was trying to break into someone else's car when her car was. And you're crying. Don't call Bads when you're in distress because she will not prioritize.

She's cooking a steak and egg, mate. Remind me never to call you in a panic. That's washed her hair last night and had a steak and egg. Yeah, exactly. I was set. I wasn't ready for an emergency. When she came in and said, like, I was just crying over the wrong car. Were you like, you're a moron?

I just kind of like looked at her. I didn't even say anything. She had a mouthful of steak. Yes and Ducko. I think there's been a lot of conversation in recent years, Duccoe, about the decline, the changes in dating culture. You know, we're not meeting anyone in the real world anymore. And even now, we're seeing the death of the apps.

You know, stock prices plummeting, people leaving the apps. I just put money into Tinder. If we're not meeting people in real life or online, where's anyone meeting anyone? I know, yeah. That is the tricky question, isn't it? Like, you just have to fall in love with your colleague after you've been working together for 10 years? I saw an article saying the office romance is dead as well recently. Oh, okay.

So the office is out too. Office is out. Office romance is dead. It's also very hard in the political landscape to have any office romance. That's very true. So that's kind of gone. There people at the gym are like, no, leave me alone. Well, that's a headphone culture. I don't want anyone.

Like, there's a lovely old man who always says good morning to me. And I have to every time go, what? Yeah. Like, he's just saying good morning, just you can guess. Just say good morning back. Don't have to pause. You're doing your donkey kicks, you know, you can't help it. Feels weird to make eye contact with anyone, let alone an older man while I'm doing my donkey kicks.

Yeah, yeah. That's why he's saying good morning. That's a whole other thing. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to give the blog after. But someone who was waiting on the conversation, superstar, mega star, Oscar winner, Rees Witherspoon, who has starred in many romantic movies herself.

She has weighed in recently on a podcast and she reckons the reason we've seen this decline in dating culture and just romance and love in general is because of the death of the rom-com. Things like when Harry met Sally. Are you okay? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll have what she's having. Arguably one of the bigger rom-coms of all time, but we're talking 80s and 90s.

She's saying rom-coms in the modern era have been rebranded as cringy. We're not seeing major stars appearing in rom-coms anymore. Like Matthew O'Connor, you know, had a lose a guy in 10 days. Yeah, Kate Hudson's of the world, your Meg Ryan's of the world. world. So between the movies and even the TV shows, this generation isn't learning, isn't seeing, isn't being exposed to romance in the same way. All their romance comes from vampire diaries, twilights, where things are over-dramatized, supernatural half the time. She goes, they've lost the ability to see romance in pop culture, which is affecting the real-life

dating world. That's interesting. And because pop culture is so split and everyone's watching so many different things on different streaming services and apps or social media. She reckons she learnt how to date by watching you sleepless in Seattle's and your nodding hills. She knows their movies, yeah. They weren't real. But she's like the exposure of them trickles into real life and she goes, the young

ones don't have that. And so they've lost the ability to like approach people, to take the shot. And you could absolutely argue that. Should we be learning those things from movies? There maybe is a grain of salt or two to be taken. But also, you've got to shoot your shot. You've got to shoot your shot. She goes, they don't know how to shoot their shot.

That's why none of the young ones can walk up to anyone. Babs, what say you with the young people not knowing how to do that? I liked him, okay. So she's like, unless he's a werewolf, I'm not approaching him. But that's what we need to educate the young ones. That stuff's not real life either. She likes Twilight as well. Unless you're a vampire or a wolf.

Unfortunately, the young ones don't know how to do it. That's the young ones you're all waiting for the right wolf. That's why it's not happening. He just doesn't have. it. What are you looking for? A guy who'll howl at the moon and turn all hairy? All turn fluorescent in the light. I'm just

waiting for one of those guys. His skin doesn't quite spark. I think Breeze Wither's Moon might be on to something Ducco. Jess and Ducco's 10K Alphabet. On hit Alphabet. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Can not use the same answer twice. And if you're

unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we are planning for $10,000. Our player today is Casey. Hello, Casey. Hello, how are you? Casey, we are so good for a Tuesday. We've got $10,000. Would you like it? That would be great. You're going to work hard for it? I'm going to try. It's all you can do, you know. Well, you're on now. It's action time. What do you want to spend the money on? My daughter just did shave for a cure, so I would like to donate some money towards that. Oh, Casey. How old's your daughter?

She's 14. Good on her. What an absolute legend. And she's pretty good. Raising an absolute doll. The letter you're going to work with, Casey, you've got great motivation. We're going to Vowel Town. It's O.

O. You don't often see O. Owen Wilson. Wow. You don't often see O, Casey. All righty. You ready to rock? Sure. Come on.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with a letter, oh. We need you to name. A clothing item. Pass. A hobby. Orange picking. A musical.

Opera. A verb. Pass. A lunchbox snack. Orange. A sunglasses brand. Orerton. A band.

One Direction. Something in the shed. Overhauler. A TV show. So. Orange is in your black. An international Sydney. Came home strong there.

You picked up Steve after about question four. Ended up with six. Like four of those answers had orange in there. There was a few orange. Well done, Casey. Can you say orange? Work to your strengths. A clothing item could have been overalls or a onesie.

A musical. You said opera, which is a genre. We're probably looking for Oliver or Oklahoma. A verb could have been open. Everything else you answered, you got correct. and we ran out of time for International City, but it could have been Osaka or Ottawa. Look, you don't get the money.

Casey, I'm so sorry, but you do get $100 at Pillow Talk. That's coming your way. Fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you, Casey, and give our best to your daughter. I will. Thank you. Thanks, Kays. Have a good one. Do play again, 8 o'clock, $10,000 on the lawn. Still yet to give it away in a little while.

I know. And with only 23 shows with the Duckman left. I know. We'd love to round out the year. It's like 23 days of Christmas. 23 days of Duckman. What are you got every day? Let's do your favorite moment of me.

On the 23rd day of Christmas, Ducko gave you us. Yes. I was about to say something that got us in trouble. I'll think of another memory. That's actually really cute. Maybe we can crack a bonbon every time. And instead of the, you know, the crap joke or riddle, it's memories of ducko. That could be a bit of fun.

And paper crown. And paper crayons, obviously. Yeah, we all wear paper crayons. Oh, that could be a bit of fun. Oh, Shagai's bottlenecking. He's like, oh. Some of my ideas. How am I meant to pick one?

Something he thought, well, yeah. Favorite moment Shagga's at the top of your head? You think of the same one I was thinking of? Yeah. I think of the one that's in trouble now. The only one I can think of. I'm glad. I told me it was the funniest thing we've ever done.

Yeah. Oh, that'll work. Jess and Ducko. 131060. Yeah. Talking about punny business names. Clever business names. Yeah.

Where maybe you've got a double take. You go, oh my God. How did they get away with that on a billboard? Did that really happen? Did that really happen? Yesterday I told you about driving behind a work vehicle, a Ute of sorts. Yeah. That clearly had a lawnmower as part of its branding.

I think I could see a whippe a snipper in the boot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the business was called the Cooch Doctor. And we've, yeah, Cooch, obviously, another name for our lady downstairs. But for grass. And also for grass. Of grass. Mainly for grass.

Absolutely. Grass, you know. So we, I put it out on our social. Yeah, great. So we were talking about this. We had a few fun ones yesterday. We did have some more fun ones come through. There's doggy style grooming service for your pets.

Thank you, Aaron. Someone said, oh, God, I'm coming, funeral director. Sensational. Thank you for that contributions. We'd love to get more to get you in the draw for the Oprah tickets. Someone said, I go to a coffee van. It's called Perky Cups, which I like that. Anything to reference the bosom.

I think he's a bit of fun. Nico got in touch and said there's a guy I used to know who would install TV antennas. Is that still a thing? I don't think so. I don't think so. I mean, you know, because you can just use apps

and everything's on the apps. But if you wanted, if you wanted to roll the free-to-air without the app, you do. You need an antenna. So you might call the erection specialists. Oh, that's fun. I don't know if Nicko's taking the PCF.

I think that could be. That could be. I think he's absolutely taking the Mickey, but I still like that. Laney said, what's your dad do? He's an erection specialist for the cable TV.

Not is it a dying art. Laney has said, I shop for some clothes at a dress shop called What the Frog? Oh, that's fun. That's very good. I like when it's taken a famous saying and changed it that way.

Mrs. Warby, good friend of the show. She said, I had an ironing business, just a little, you know, lady start up, pressed for time. Oh, press for time's good. Very good for the ironing. Matt said, I know a cleaning business called spruce spring clean. Oh, stop it. That's fun. Spruce.

Is he the boss? Yeah. Chief. He's the boss. He's boss. He's boss. That's fun. Walk around the clock.

Great name. an Asian restaurant. And that, to me, says it's, it's open all the time. Absolutely. Walk around the clock is 24-7. You want a 3 a.m. chicken chowme in. You got to walk around the clock. 100%.

Beavis. Bevis. Is it your friend? Yeah, yeah. So, Ducco's favorite roofing company. Struth and Rufan. Yeah, that's so good. They were, they're a group.

They've gone a bus now, but they're some mates of mine. Struth and Rufan gone bar. Struth and Rufan, yeah, that was their roofing company. That should absolutely be the most successful roofing company in Australia. I know. Sorry to hear that. A couple more for you. Al has said,

Let it flow. Oh, yes. What do you reckon the business is? Let it flow. It's a trade. It's got to be a plumber. It's a plumber. And finally, G has got in touch.

Yeah. Lawn, lawn people again, landscaping. Yeah. Mo, blow and go. Stop. Mo, blow and go. I am hiring. I'm hiring.

I think I've got to get a quote from the coochie doctor and mobole and go. Oh, get them both. Get them both. First you want your cooch doctor, then you get Mo Blow and go. You know what I mean? Oh, just to come in and finish the job. That's right. We've got to Mick on 131060.

If you've got any, by all means, give us a call. What do you got, Mick? Yeah, good-day, mate. Born and bread, bakery. Born and bread. Oh, there we go. Mate, took me a second there. You did.

Bakery. You need to say the bakery. Yeah, yeah. Born and bread. Do you frequent born and bread, Mick? Unfortunately, yes. Oh, so it's not. Is it nice, though?

Good food at born and bread? Yeah, mate, yeah, local bakery in Tumit, New South Wales. We love it. We love that. Shout out to Tumet. Shout out to Bourne and Bread. I betcha they do a hell. I betcha they do good bread, but they do a hell of a vanilla slice.

If you say so, yeah. Oh, okay. We're all the one who's been, Nick. What's your go to at Bourne and Bread, Mick? Oh, mate, I can't, can't. It's just a pie. Oh, he loves a good pie. I can't tell you.

Chunky beef pie at Bourne and bread. Yes. I bet you're born and bread do free sauce. They're not charging you a 50 cents. Absolutely. Some old lady, he'd be squirting the sauce on. Yeah. Oh, you're going to see.

My wife tells me the apple pies are absolutely the best. Oh, there you go. Mixed there the habel no. No, it's like I'm a meat man? Not good for the gas. Yeah, he just runs right through us, doesn't it? I'll get the missile. That's right, right.

Very good. Born and bread. Why wouldn't you have a bit of fun if you're going to start a business? Exactly. We still are trying to come up with our business name for our deli. For our deli. For our deli, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

We still haven't come along. Oh, you know what you call it, John Hamm. And then he'll be our ambassador. That's our chicken's name, though. Oh, is our chicken. Oh, I mean, how good. Ah, you get this. Jess and daco.

Shaggot, I love your pants. Bab, stop crying. I need energy. Just stop eating on camera. Rolling camera. Rolling lights. Rolling audio. Dukukos.

Acting class. And action. Good morrow. Ah, good morrow, fair, fairspins. Good morrow. Good morrow. Ah. They're learning.

With 23 shows to go, they're finally getting it. Yeah, they're getting it. So today's acting class where I put you guys through your paces. It's a shorter scene, because I think we can do it a couple of times in a few different ways, but it's from an iconic Shrek. Obviously, this is the Shrek rave remix. One, two, three, four, or five, or Christmas special. This is one.

This is the first one. This is when Lord Fartreqa sends Shrek off. to find Princess Fiona. Yes. Okay. And he sends Shrek and donkey goes with him. Can't quite remember why donkey goes. But they go there.

Because I've got friends. They came friends. Yeah. It was trapped in that little crate thing. Yeah. Remember? Thanks, Babs. Hey, good news though.

I've cast it. Yes. Who gets the titular role of Shrek? This kept me up all night. Based off the scene and your various strengths. Babs, you will be Shrek. Oh. So I need your Scottish.

Jackson, but Jess, you will be Fiona who does a lot of heavy lifting in this scene. I need you to lead. I'm the only one who can read. And shy guy, because he has the least, you are donkey. However, I need you to come in and channel your best Eddie Murphy at the end. And I need you to come in with energy, because you're coming at the end. I need you to come in with energy, okay? Because you're not...

The funny one. You're not shy guy, you know? You're donkey. You've got to feel that. You got to come in hot and heavy, all right? You're an ass. Yeah. Thanks.

All right, okay, so this scene takes place, rescuing Fiona from the tower. All right, we got Shrek, we got donkey, we got Fiona. Fiona's just woken up and realised that it's an ugly ogre coming to get her. Not your Prince Charming. Ready to go?

Whoa, whoa, oh, okay. Well, we get me so. We're going to think of it. Okay. All right, take your place. Here we go. Menda energy, our guy, Babs, Scottish. Jess, just lead.

And action. Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Oh, wait, that wasn't Scottish. Cut, cut. Scottish, Scottish, Bab. What are you? There you go.

better. All right, start again and action. Well, whoa, wait, wait, wait. What? I was... Keep going. I was just wondering, you're going the wrong way. The exits back there. Well, if you want to go that way, you're fine.

No, wait, no! What are you doing? I'm supposed to be rescued by a knight in shining armour. Well, you're not. But I've waited my whole life to be rescued by a brave knight in shining armor. Actually, he did rescue you, kinder. You, you're a talking donkey. Yeah, and proud of it.

Can we please just go home now? Got a little bit, a Hindu there. I wasn't convinced her. I was very careful. All right, okay. I want to do this thing again, though, but I just think for... What do you mean? That was pretty...

To build the heightened energy for this scene, I want you to picture, like, you've all got bugs crawling all over you, okay? You're a bit antsy. You've got to get going. Shy guy, I need much more energy. Babs just don't let the accent just keep going, plowing through. I'm really trying. Let's keep that quick text rolling.

You've literally got the line. What are you doing? Like, that is one of his key. I know, it's because I need like a lead in. I need to get, you know. Yeah. All right. Okay.

All right. You're ready. You got your lead in? Antsy bugs. Ante bugs. Ready. Energy. And go.

Action. Whoa. Wait, wait, wait. What? I was just wondering, you are going the wrong way. The exit is back there. Well, if you want to go all that way, fine. No, wait, no.

What are you doing? I'm supposed to be rescued by a knight in shining armor. Where are you not? But I've waited my whole life to be rescued by a brave knight in shining armor. Actually, he did kind of save you. I got the words mixed up. Go with it. Go with it.

You're a talking donkey. Yeah, I'm proud of it. Can we please just go home? No. Scott. Perhaps he's going to get cancelled. I was trying to do a Scottish accent. You killed it, man.

It's all freaking sex. Guys, that was, it was an experience. I gave Shogar two lines and he still ruined it. Do you consider yourself a good person? Isn't that a tough question to answer? Most of the time, you know? Most of the time. Most days?

Most days, yeah. Tell me what you would have done in this situation? Because everyone I came into contact yesterday, I reckon they're bad people. Okay. You know, like that litmus test of do you put the trolley back after you've done the grocery shopping in the car park? Because it's not a law.

You're not going to get punished. It's just sort of like a calmic thing of this is going to really be annoying for the next person to use this car space or anyone in this vicinity. So I'm going to do it or I'm not going to do it. It's one of those sort of issues. I took my two-year-old to get Santa photos yesterday. My husband was there for the photography park. but then he had to chuff off and go to work.

And I made the mistake of giving her frozen yoghut. So we had a little lunch, we had a little treat, and then she got the zoomies. So we were at the shopping center ducco for about four hours. Oh, okay. Fun. Look, it was to a point because there's a couple of playgrounds. It was an indoor one. There was an outdoor one.

There was some shops we were looking at. Yeah. But it got to a point where we were in cotton on kids and she had literally touched everything in the shop. and I got to the point where I went, it is a kid's shop, but now I feel like I'm being that obnoxious person who's just letting their kid run riot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm being rude.

What else are you doing on a Monday, hey? And it was quiet, you know, she's doing laps, but then some grannies came in. She nearly bowled one over. I went, oh, we're getting out of here. Don't hit the grannies. So I have gone to scoop her up. Walk, walk, walk.

I said, all right, well, let's walk. We're going to go home now. But she understood that and she bolted. I went, well, we're not having that. So I've scooped her up. Q immediate meltdown. I've got her backpack on my back. I've scooped her up and she's doing the full crocodile roll.

Yeah, trying to get out of my arms. We're making our way, you know, across the centre. Yeah. I'm trying to remember where I parked that whole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, while she's screaming and yelling. That's fine. But we've been walking maybe halfway through the centre and I catch a glimpse of myself in the window.

It's like forever new or something. my dress was tucked up into the backpack. So you had your cheeks out. My, well, I had a full brief on, time of the month, period, on his own. But whatever, the full butt is out. Right. Are you walking around?

Because obviously, in my haste to scoop up her backpack and her. So you're walking around with your granny briefs on, with your child squirming, and a backpack on. As I'm marching through the set. Everyone's probably looking at you like, Not one person. Yeah, but what do you expect in that? Yeah, what are you saying?

As a male, I'd go nowhere near that. You want a random to come up to you? Absolutely. As a dude, as a dude, I wouldn't do it to a girl. And you need another the lady? Yeah, that's on the ladies. So you reckon all men are exempted from this judge? Because, like, if I came up to you as a guy, and I didn't know, it was like, excuse me, you know, it's fraught with danger there.

No way. It's creepy. Unless it was like a sweet old man or something. No way. I'd pass that. If I go, he comes up and goes, you're dressed. Which I have? There's nothing.

There's nothing creepy or sexualized about it. It is a human being. You got to understand. I gave Babs a compliment on her hair today. And she's like, it's because I wash it. It's not oily. And I was like,

you know what? I'm not going to say anything anymore. You're scarred. Yeah, yeah. It would have been an absolute indication that you're a good person, not one person. So the girls didn't help you out. No one, ducko.

Yeah, I believe the women. Yeah. No, I would have taken a man. woman, anyone, shopkeeper, customer, not one person. Baby, your dress is tucked into your dress. It's tucked into the bag. That's all it needed to be. You couldn't feel the cheeks just, you know, out of the bag.

And it's funny because now I judge, you know, like sometimes you see fishermen or people just on a stool and you go, your whole butts out. Can't you feel the breeze? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can no longer judge those people because I did not feel the breeze. You just, yeah. We're indoors. It's not like it was blowing a gale in the shops. Yeah.

But the whole distance of this shopping centre, no one told me. Would you have said something if you saw something? I have done that in the past. I've gone up to a woman discreetly and gone, baby dress is tucked in. Okay. If it was a dude. Yeah. Absolutely.

Well, we're tuck in. Not the same. I don't know what's going to be tucked in. If his fly was open. I've never been in that situation, but I would. Really? Absolutely. I think it's a sign that we're living in a society. We're helping each other out.

We're looking out. Not one. Okay, Babs, would you have done it? Would you've gone off? You saw a random, but honestly, in that situation. I think I would. I don't think you would. I don't think you would.

I don't think you would. You'd go in the opposite direction, if it was me, I'd be so embarrassed. Exactly. You'd say, I'd be so embarrassed as well as that person, and then you'd keep walking. And giggle, she put it on her close friend's story. What about toilet paper on the shoe? You know, sometimes you've dragged toilet paper. Would you tell?

No, no, no. No, no. They'll fall off eventually. Yeah, it'll come. Because, like, it doesn't bother me. I'm like, oh, that person got a toilet paper. Like, it's not the end of the world. It's not about you. It's about them, like, helping them out.

It's not the end of the world. Like, it's not going to, you know. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, the dressing's issue on it, but I just feel like. Wow. I couldn't believe, and I understand a screaming toddler, maybe is a bit scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But help me. I'm clearly up against it. Right. So if you see, if you see Jess in the shops with her backpack. It was an interesting social experiment that I didn't intend. What you need? Let's go and do it again. Right.

And we'll just see if anyone says anything again. With or without the screaming kid. I think we need to reenact it. So with the Screaming Kid. All right. You can play the role of screaming kid. Yeah. All right.

We'll tuck your address in. Chuck. I'll hover back and film. Drew and I would have got more help or the same amount of no help if it had been like a scantily, you know, like a G or something. I think more help. I think if you had a G-3 on. Okay. That's when the guys would be like, hey, excuse me.

Maybe no one knew it was my undies because they're so big. Jess and Ducko. Right now, Ducko, there's a new kind of calendar. That's freaking. people out. Okay. And you might be thinking, how much can they be doing with calendars? You either get cute little kitties or you get the sexy firemen.

Yeah, that's all you get. What else? You're two options. It's your two options. Well, there's a new calendar. It's available, like across Etsy and some of those sort of artsy websites, but then there's some legitimate, I'm going to say, medical websites you can buy them from.

And what you do is you put in your date of birth and you tell it a few stats about yourself, a couple of, you know, lifestyle things. what country you're from is a big one. Gender is a big one. And it'll then spit out your estimated time of death. And I'm going to send you a picture of what the calendar looks like. And it's basically a series of tiny squares that make up the weeks of your life. What?

So at the moment you purchase it, let's say you bought one today. At 34 years old and a couple of months and a couple of weeks. Yeah. What you've already lived, Ducko, will be blacked out. And it knows that you're an Australian male, looks after himself, you know, fit and healthy. You might live to be an Australian man,

but about 81.1 years old. Okay. So it'll show you the rest of that calendar in unmarked, uncoloured and that's the rest of your life. And that's the rest of your life in squares. I notice at the bottom it's got, we only live once on it as well. Yeah.

And it's only 3995. So the idea is that you have a visual representation in your home, maybe at your workplace to see what you've lived, but what's left? How freaky is that? The average Australian woman lives to be about 85. I'm 34, so, you know, not quite halfway, but you go, oh my God, to see that visually up on your wall in your safe space, like your kitchen or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would be scary. How would that change the way you approach each day? It really would, though. You'd see it and be like, you know what? Like, I'm halfway, or I've only got, I've cut out this to any square. Imagine if you bought that as a gift for your parents, like my dad's 65, that's more squares coloured in. They're not, yeah.

That's when it would start, like, now for us, we'd be like motivated by it, but the minute you get a bit older and you look at it, you go, ah. I'm on the, and this is the thing. You don't know. You could get hit by bus tomorrow. Yeah. This is obviously all estimates. Say levy.

But to see that. You don't know what's happening tomorrow. You can just walk out of your house somewhere and get hit by bus. Why Nana always said, we're clean undies. Yeah, yeah. But it's one of those things. You'll sort of. If you get hit by a bus, I'll let you know that much for free.

I don't know why that became such a saying. Like, that's the first thing that the paramedics will judge you on. Oh, Philpickers. What an idiot. This person who got hit by a bus has got filthy knickers. I'm in heaven going, mate, my calendar said I had three quarters of life left. You've got to stop wearing your granny undies around now, as you just spoke about five minutes ago with him flopping up around under your dress. My time of the month, undies.

I need the protection. You need to start, just in case the bus thing happens, you just need to start wearing some good undies. If the bus thing happens, can you go to my house and colour in all the squares and be like, ah, she got that wrong?

Idiot! Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course, we'll come back to you if there is time. Now we are playing for $10,000 our player today. Natalie. Good morning, Natalie.

Good morning. Natalie. You're going to take our 10 grand. I can feel it. I hope so. I hope so. Give me the vibes. Yeah, man.

We've got 23 shows left with Ducko doing the rules. So, I mean, I hope you enjoyed that reading. That was pretty special. Just one of the great readings, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. Good job. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Oh, look, Christmas is around the corner.

So obviously, sorting Christmas out. Christmas, kids, holidays, less just, fingers crossed. That's what we can put it towards. Love that for you. Well, solid. letter for you. It's D. Oh, look at the synergy, Natalie.

Come on. Come on, Natalie. Are you ready to go? Yep, I'm ready. Okay. Time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter D, we need you to name. An animal.

Dog. An action movie. Downtown Abbey. A country. Denmark. An occupation. Doctor. An adverb.

Dig. A reality TV show. Um, pass. A soft drink. Um, Diet Pepsi. An instrument. Um, drum. A sweet treat.

Pass? Something in the bathroom. Um, dryer. A reality TV show. Um, is that nothing? Very fast. It was saying things. So quick.

Just absolutely saying things there, Natalie. It is. And look, you got it wrong on number two. An action movie, Downton Abbey. I'm not a moment. this person. I had nothing. Yeah. I mean, not only is it a show. It's a show. It's not action.

It's not the least amount of action. Yeah, yeah. We could have had die hard. I don't know. I'm like, is that? Yeah. Die hard could have been there. An adverb you said dig. I don't know if that's an advert. Yeah. We're looking at anything Y. So deeply, dramatically, something like that. But I love the conviction you said it with. A reality TV show could have been dance moms or dancing with the stars.

And then a sweet treat could have been, look, a donut, dark chocolate. There's a few. Look, Natalie, I love that you had a crack, though. We got through all 10. You don't get the money, but you do get 100 bucks to spend that pillow talk. That's all yours. Nice. Awesome.

Thanks, guys. The kids are getting throat cushions. Thank you so much, Nat. Awesome. Thank you. See you later. We do play again tomorrow. 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock for $10,000.

Oh. Geez. Yeah. I love the energy. I love the conviction of the energy. That's the energy we like on this show. Absolutely. Someone with a similar sort of energy.

Yeah. Oprah Winfrey. Oh, yeah. What did you say? Oh, 100%. Massive energy. We've got double passes. Made it sound like we've got more than one.

We've got one double pass. You get a pass. And a night's accommodation. It's our call of fame. Yep. You can have a go out getting that next. I told you a little tidbit yesterday. Post colonoscopy of what my gastroenterologist wanted to be.

That's right. And it tickled us. Like she tickled you. What did you want to be when you grew up? Then what did you end up? Yep. How did your life take a sharp left hand to me? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You thought these were the cards you'd been dealt, and then it went, nah. Yeah, obviously, it's very well documented. We don't need to dig down on it anymore or in it. I might have a couple more questions that pop up. My colonoscopy last Friday that I got, everything's squeaky clean. It's the gift that keeps on giving. A bit of content, you know what I mean.

Not only did we enjoy the run-up, but now even post, we're learning things and getting another chuckle. Right before I go in when I'm lying in the bed naked, obviously, got the gown on the front. My gastroenterologist comes in, who's about to perform the surgery or the procedure, or whatever you want to call it on me. And she goes, What do you do? And then she reads my thing and goes, oh, geez, did you go to AFTRS, which is afters, which is the radio school?

Shagai actually went there. That's right. Australian film, TV, radio school. Yeah, it's still going, I believe. When people ask us, like, how did you get into radio? They think there was a course and there are courses, but there are a million ways. So she'd apply. She's like, yeah, yeah, I wanted to be in radio.

And I was like, really? She's like, yeah, I applied for that school and I didn't get in. But I really wanted to do radio. I used to, like, practice radio at home. And then she became a gastrologist. It does colonoscopies for a living. So not getting into that school, absolutely pivoted her life.

You don't want to be right now. Next best thing, but. Because if that isn't the best job, for then the stories to talk about on radio. They almost go hand in hand. But that is the sharpest, left hand turn. Like you and me can never be medical, right? Obviously.

I couldn't take it seriously. We're not those kinds of people. We're not those kinds of people. Logically, we're not those kinds of people. I think we've got the empathy, but we don't have. have the smarts, or like the taking life seriously enough. No, no.

I just said it's so funny. I can see giving bad news to people. Yeah, I'd hate that. You could be a bad news doctor. No, you could be a bad news doctor. So you have cancer. Sorry, I've got to chop your leg off. You've got to live.

You'll be fine. Because you're stone-faced, you know? Yeah, but I don't know. You're not silly. Like us trying to give. Can you imagine us? Yeah, your terminal. Eh, yeah.

13, 10, 60. We try and make light of things. I don't think we take life seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that would be tough. But I just found it very funny. Like, the job she did in who she was and then wanting to be in radio. And also not thinking, oh, great, I'll try another path.

I'll go on The Bachelor. Yeah. I'll get famous on TikTok. There are other, I'll start a podcast. She studied the butt and she was like, eh, this is me. This is me now. This is where I live. When the butt calls, you better answer.

She could start a podcast, colon chats or something. Yeah. Yeah. And it's with people while they're getting Cosby, but they don't get put under? Yeah, that's fun. That's a bit of fun. You could, would you go again? because you'd be a great first guest.

I don't want to starve myself and flush it all again. Jeez, that took way too much out of me. But it is funny. You're on one path and then you just get served an absolute curveball. Because you wanted to be a jeweller. I wanted to be a jeweller. There are drawings of me. You know, at primary school you would draw what I want to be when I grew up.

And it was me, I didn't dream. No disrespect to anyone doing this profession. But it was, I didn't dream very big. It was me behind a retail counter playing with jewelry, selling rings and bracelets. Yeah, right. And bangles. I just loved jewelry as a kid.

He's like jewelry. Here I am. Doing radio. Making money off my mouth. Yeah. What did you want to be? I mean, initially when I was really young, a vet is what I wanted to, loved animals and stuff and the dog, whatever.

And then you realize that's like eight years of study. What? That's actually, you can't just pat things. And also having to put the dog. Oh, sad. Very sad. And now obviously I always want to be an actor. And then here I am doing radio.

That one doesn't feel as sharp of the pivot. Yeah, it feels sort of in the wheelhouse. But from vet to radio. Shy guy. And you did act. Oh, yeah. I tried. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Paul Giumardi knows he's not. Yeah, we played, yeah. I wanted to be like Ari Gold from Entourage, like a talent manager. Yeah, okay. An agent. Yeah, right, I could see you doing that. Representation. I don't know if I could.

I don't know if you're bulldoggy enough. Like, would you fight to get me the best deal? You'd be like, yeah, she'll take it. I don't know. Jess, you're now doing it. Who about your mom getting you and ambassador deals? Shy guy would be going, hey, you're now the ambassador for mayonnaise. Yeah, you've got to do a bow tie.

This is what you're doing. Yeah. But for me, that is actually good. For others. I know. Queen Babs. I wanted to be a meteorologist. So strange.

So, so strange. A meteor. I mean, good for you. I can ask Babbs the weather for the next seven days and she'll answer every day. She knows. So why aren't you pursuing that, Babs? Because you're young. Why don't you go to school for it?

Oh, I don't really want to study maths and physics. Well, I've done the weather. You don't need to. Different between being the one in the coconut braw. Yeah, yeah, dancing. The weather and the person who gave you the sheet. Yeah, yeah. So, what, you never pursued it at all?

No, not really, but now I'm kind of thinking about it. You just like weather events. I just really like weather, and I think weather systems are cool. What a sense. What a sentence. Do you love the idea, Ducco, like, she just said I'm thinking of pursuing it. You know, in two years' time, she'll be gone, and someone will go, what? So I know Ducco left you.

What happened to Babs? Well, she actually went back to school and became a meteorologist. It's thriving. Yeah, you see her in the background of Channel 9. Yeah, yeah, she's there on the computers at the bomb. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Checking out the other storm system.

13, 1060, how big a pivot did you do? Exactly. Maybe you were on the path. Yeah. applying for schools like your gastroenterologist, and the universe went numb. Hang on a minute. Changed it up. That's where you were going. You just didn't finish it.

You're like, no, I'm going to stop putting. If you can dodge a wrench, you can touch your ball. Yeah, because my gastroenterologist after it, when I was getting me, right before, which was even a funnier time, because they'd chat to you before the procedure. Yeah, so before you go under. And, like, you're always nervous to get put on to anesthetic and go on for a sick procedure. And you're going to be naked. Yeah, you're vulnerable.

You're vulnerable. You're asleep in a strange room. Like, it's always, no matter how minor, it's always a nerve-wracking experience. And the power imbalance. Yes. Harry Seinfeld does a thing on one of his stand-up. things. It's like, in the medical setting, where one of you is pantsless and the other is panted, the power dynamic is completely in equal.

100%. And then she asked me, oh, you do radio. I wanted to do radio. Which I also love. They almost have like the customs intake form. Why did they need to know your job? Yeah, I had professional there. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I don't put radio.

Sometimes I put like, do I fake it? Just like, I'm like, what do you need to know? What do you need to know? What do you need to know? head model. Yeah, yeah. That would also be talkability. I'll see you like a counter. You're trying to eliminate conversation.

If she asked me any fall up about account, I'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, the stock market, et cetera. Invest in gold or don't. I'm not sure where it's at. Gemma, on 13, 1060, what did you want to be and what did you end up? So I ended up doing my diploma in beauty therapy, and I am now doing wall and floor tiling. Okay, that, well, I mean, I guess it's like a makeover in similar way. What took you over to floor and war tiles? Well, after I did my deployment in beauty therapy,

no one actually hired me as a beauty therapist. So my husband's a wall and floor tile, so I ended up helping him. Oh, I'm just jumping over that way. And did you actually find your calling? Were you like, this is amazing? I love this. Yeah, no, it's pretty fun, actually, seeing what everyone once done in their houses and stuff.

So, yeah. There you go. Ends up liking it. She was forced to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge. She answered the call. Well, no one got her service. Everyone's like, nah, you're a bit average. That's pretty, you've really got a pivot there, yeah.

Kelly, on 13, 10, 60, what did you want to be? What did you end up? Good morning. I, well, I was a dancer, so for many, many years, many years ago, I worked over in South Korea in Japan, and I'm now a funeral arranger, so I work with the deceased. I've always wondered how, you get into funeral arranging. Well, it was just. a random job application down in Sydney.

I worked in Sydney down there first, and yeah. So you didn't need any prior experience, Kelly? It was just, hey, I've got no experience in this field, but I'll give it a crack. That's it. I think you just got to, it's a job that you've got to love, and I do love my job now. But yeah, so very different. Absolutely. I used to do coffee, and now I do that.

Yeah, no, you do funeral planning. Isn't it funny? Because I feel like at this day and age, every job I ever see on Seek or LinkedIn or when I'm talking to friends, they're like, you need a minimum four years experience. It's like there are no blank campus jobs anymore. Maybe funeral directing is the one. Owen on 13, 1060. Talk to us.

What did you want to be and where do you end up? Morning crew. I'm assuming this is a safe space amongst all the ridescubers. Of course, Owen. Welcome. Do you want me to jump into the therapy tent? We can open the therapy tent. Hold on.

There's no safer place. Make sure Babs hasn't left. Just a stinker. Get out of here, Babs. Jesus. It's not really a job my parents are proud of. Oh, okay. Hold on, Babs is just leaving.

All right. Okay. All right, Owen. Oh, and you're the safest place. Yeah. Much like himself, Duck, I want him to be a vet. He's going to specialize in lines at Toronto Zoo. Oh, how heck it's that.

Cool. Yep. Doreen's a 10-year-old. Didn't quite make it. I, uh, oh, it's hard to say. I now work in HR. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, look him in. the chance. I'm sorry. Owen, you're firing people and reprimanding them for poor grooming habits and what, I assume that's what HR does. That's what I get told off for HR now.

It gets worse. I manage the workers' compensation claims. How did you get into that? So I work with insurance at the same time. So does anyone in the office like you? Finance. Finance and the bosses. How's more Christmas parties and stuff for you?

Are you just, like, sitting on your own? I tend to not get an invite. Oh, geez, I hope it pays well. Get blocks in the mail. Oh, and who does HR go to when he's being bullied in the workplace? You know, you've got to book an appointment with yourself. Trust me, I know all the therapists. Oh, that's a funny one.

No one gets into life going, I'm going to be in HR. Is there any 11-year-old out there? Go on, jeez. I love to be HR. I love to be HR. Owen, son, Owen Jr. I just want to be like Daddy. A little OJ.

Oh, Christy, good morning. Hi. Christy, we're having a lot of fun with this. What did you want to be? And where did you end up? I wanted to be a lawyer. I did a short stint trying out nursing, didn't like blood.

And ended up at Police AAA. Ah. So does that mean you're on the phones, taking the emergency calls? Yes. Yeah. Oh, that'd be high pressure, your job.

Absolutely. Because you'd have to weed through a lot of the, not useless calls, but the ones that are not emergency, right? And then, yeah. Yes, and children calling off their parents' phones been no SIM cards in them. Oh, is that a real, is that a common thing?

It is. How many calls reckon you'd feel the day when you're going in, or in a shift? I usually did the 2am to 7 a.m. shift. So it was not as easy, but more hectic. Oh, absolutely, fewer calls, but the ones you getting, it's like when I did the overnight shift on room service at that hotel. Oh, it's the exact same.

Not as busy, but the more hectic request. Geez, I've never felt more connected to someone than I have with Christy. Don't forget all week on the show, tickets to see Oprah. We draw that on Friday for a call of phone. Hell, yeah, you've got to get involved in the show. Thanks to everyone who did that today. Yep, we also had a few more texts come in earlier in the show. We were talking about punny names for various businesses, etc.

0-4-8-1-0-0-6-9. What about this one? There is a coffee shop in Q, the place of Koo, I should say, and it's called Farku. That's fantastic. Can we say that one? The pie shop? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I mean, it's, that must be Vietnamese. Vietnamese surname. Pie shop in Warhope called Fat, P-H-A-T. Yeah. P-H-U-C. Pie shop. Why try to give you cancelled, Ben? Fat Pah-Haw.

You are. My favourite's this one from Leah. Yeah. My friend didn't do this, but wanted to open a cafe and call it, How the Faccia. How the Faccia. That's a great idea. That I would get a Facaccacia. How the Faccia.

How the Faccacia. And then something else could message, Sophie, a message in saying, Jess, I would tell you, I would tell you if your undies were hanging out at the shops. That's right. Yesterday, trying to wrangle my screaming. Sugar hide toddler away from the Santa photos. My dress was tucked up into her backpack that I was carrying. Yeah. No one.

Tap me on the shoulder, whispered in my ear. alerted me to the fact, Sophia, the only person who says she would have. Yeah, Shagga and I stand by that. We probably wouldn't. We just walk away. I implore you.

I implore you. You will get brownie points from the Karmic universe for helping a sister out. I'm good. If they're in... I'm just going to leave that one. Let that one roll.

Anyway. To each their own. Been a big show. You missed any of it. Grab it on listen. I'll really get your podcast. But who cares about today, Ducco?

Because tomorrow. Oh, this is exciting. We're launching something different here tomorrow. This has been in the works for a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the creators of Shy Guy Dips. And Shy Guy... Oh, no, Gibbs is the same.

If we give you... Shy Guy Licks. We have got five ice cream machines. Yep. So for the next five Wednesdays, we're going to give one away each week. How good is that? But it's ice cream. Ice cream.

So Shy Guy's going to lick a different ice cream. If you can tell us the ice cream in his hot little tongue. Oh. You win the ice cream machine. And we've got a shy guy tongue audio as well. So it's going to be that mic's like tongue audio mic is going to be right and close to it. Absolutely, because we need to hear. Yeah.

I reckon I could hear the difference between him licking a splice and him licking a wheece. Maybe we should test that. You know what I mean? Earlier in the show tomorrow. Is that the first clue? Oh. The sound of the lick. The sound of the lick.

I like that. And then first caller gets the supplementary clue. Obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here's your first clue. You got to practice We have different techniques Go home time practice your licking

Because your licking's on show tomorrow Yeah That tongue, baby Yeah These things are no juggia These are worth 350 bucks Yeah, they're great What are they called?

The Dalchi The, yep Babs Dulcy Dulcy Ness quick bundle I will put a thousand dollars It is not pronounced

Dulcy It's Italian D-O-L-C-I is sweets Babbs come in and shake her hand right now. Dolce. Because you've got the pronunciation from the PR people. Are you telling me it's Dolcy? It's Dolcy.

Yeah. It's spelled the Italian. You heard Bab's $1,000. Can you check my hand. I love it the Italian. It's Italian. Oh, I know all things Italian. And T,000.

I don't know all things in Italian, but I know that word. What? Well, this is, it looks great. Nutter how you say, it looks fantastic. It is amazing. You'll want this. This is better than anything you win in regular shot guy dips. Spitz of box of cereal.

We've run out of jizzbits, so you've got to get a... You're going to get an ice cream maker. We're still got to give out the last jiz bit, I think, on my last show. Okay. The last jis bit and the last fridge magnate. All right, all right. I mean, you guys can still give out Jess and Ducker fridge back this next year. We have plenty of them.

Yeah, I'll do smarts and crafts. I'll stick the new guys' face over here. Yeah, why not? If you missed any show, grab it on the podcast or listen, I'll ready to get your podcasts. Any else you guys want to add before we get out of here? No, I'm so excited about shot I got leaves. Yeah, it'll be, I'm not going to get much sleep tonight. Yeah, we'll be giddy, won't we?

But make sure you rest that tongue. Yeah. No funny business tonight. No joining the male tongue choir tonight. La la la la. What a reference. Yeah, a deep cut from yesterday's show. Someone will know.

Yeah, yeah. And no dates tonight, big guy. And no date. You are on tongue restrained. I gotta go to ice cream shopping. You know when an athlete gets injured? They're like you're on rest. You're on rest.

When a pregnant lady needs bed rest. That's you. Your tongue is embargoed until tomorrow. tongue bargo. Actually, yeah, don't have anything too spicy today or too cold. Like, you want to make sure that tongue is in pristine condition. Okay. I'll work on it.

Yeah, you do that. Sorry, I just realized that you put me into show grab it. It was a doozy. Oh, okay. Do you need just a pat a bit more? Yeah, yeah, give me a little pad. Babs what flavors have we got? Because we, Babs and I started yesterday cooking some ice cream.

All right, I'm good. I don't know if cooking is the right phrase. We freeze it, so it's in the process and then we'll put it in the machine maybe today. What flavor are you going to do? We've gone with... Chocolate and strawberry. Oh, hello. Mixing together.

I should have seen us stressed Babs was when I was putting the... It's the little things with the ingredients together. The flavors. Sorry, in the dulcie. Oh, I don't know now. Oh! Have you been Googling it and you don't know. I have a bruceful leaf on the big of it.

All right. The plot thickens. Keep it locked. Keep it locked. We'll find out tomorrow. Babbs could have Jess a thousand bucks. I don't have a thousand bucks. She'll have to be myself.

You've got to be just a slave for a day. Oh, you already are. We're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. I'm now working in HR.

Oh, no. Look him in the tent. Jess and daco. That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The new macho range is here at McCaffee.