Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I should be more ball aware

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

Jess has blue balls, Shy Guy gives us a cruise update, and we ask you for your tips for Halloween. Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast time. On this, the 31st of October. The spooky day, that is, the 30th Halloween. Do you like horror movies? Not really.

I don't really do horror movies. I don't really like them. I can appreciate getting your emotions worked up and getting scared, but it's just, no. I can't. You know, people go, I love a good fright. Why not me? Because that shit stays with me I saw the grudge in year age

At the movie At the cinema With Camille Holman and Ellie He was tattooed on my brain And I still look in the corner Of rooms For that little girl The little boy

The chick coming out of the TV Oh my God When you wash your hair There was that scene where the grudge popped out of it Yeah Yeah yeah I think it was Sarah Michelle Geller Yeah that was scary

I don't care Like I remember seeing the conjuring In the cinemas What was that one about? Because that one's scary because it's based off real paranormal sort of events and poltergeisty, haunted house. Did you ever get into paranormal activity? Yeah. See, that was trying.

I watched a few of those. Someone sold that to me as not a horror. That's almost like a doco. Oh my God, that shit was terrible. It's more scary because to me that could more happen. Yes, and it's all like CCTV. So my, like, you know, I fell for it. I went, this is all real.

This is CCTV. It's not a movie. Yeah. Do you like horror babes? I do like a good horror movie. One of the best things I used to do when I was younger is when we had sleepovers or friends over is that you would all gather in the lounge room

and put a horror movie on and then just laugh at each other getting scared. Oh, that's kind of fun. That was my idea of night. Scare and solidarity. Like, there was something special about going to a movie and everyone yelling and screaming. And then you start laughing.

I remember being in one sleepover situation where they put the ring on and because I was very much outnumbered I didn't say anything and I spent the whole time with my eyes closed because it's dark, everyone's watching the screen. but with my eyes closed trying to block out the sound, but I just, what, 90 minutes of a movie,

just going like, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, yeah, trying not to let any get in. Yeah, generally close my eyes. Yes, 100%. Yeah, it's scary, isn't it? So, again, if you're into that. That's your way. This is your day, baby.

You know, my hairdresser, Brandon, he, my barber, he loves scary movies. He sees all scary movies. He's dressed up as Freddie Kruger as we speak for Halloween. He's at the barbers shop. Yeah, so he shaved his head, and he's like, got the burn, fake burns. Yeah, he gets super into it. Oh, my God. He loves all horror movies.

Is Freddie like his go-to, or is this the first time he's done Freddy? I think this is the first time he's done Freddy. Okay. I'd love to say, I love people who go all out with costumes. See the one with the scissors? Yep, sciss their hands. He sees you in your dreams. That makes sense.

Yes, but he was a burn. Yeah, something like that. He's got the skin and the head. And when kids go to sleep, he pries on them when they sleep. Yes. And Jason is the one with the chains saw. Yeah, yeah. Jason's less scary.

Less scary. The hockey mask of the chains saw. I don't find that scary. And also he doesn't say anything. He doesn't say anything, which I don't hate. Freddie psychologically fucks you are. Yes, Freddie. Even the word Kruger.

Yeah, Freddy Kruger. You get the Kruger's. Yeah, anyway. I think I've watched Freddy versus Jason. Yes. Maybe, but again, I almost looked at that as an action because they're fighting each other. You sort of pick one to go for? Yes.

I think I was on team Freddy because I'm like, better chat. Yeah, Jason's just boring. Spark up there. At least Freddy's going to be a good time. Yeah. If you had to get attacked by one horror movie person or villain, like I always remember H2O, no H2O, Halloween, Halloween, Michael Myers. Which one's that again?

Is that the screen mask? Yeah, with a knife, not the scream mask. Okay. He had the, like, the ghost-like face. Yes, yeah, I might have to see a picture. Why, you reckon you could outrun him or something? Oh, he was scary. Now, Michael Myers didn't die.

Oh. He was, he was freaky. Let me find that. That guy. Oh, my God. I've not seen that. That was a scary movie. Oh my God.

And sorry, is he like a real man or is he a supernatural thing? He was like her son and, you know, oh, yeah. Oh, is that the original Jamie Lee Curtis, horror movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. That's scary. That was scary. What's scarier to you, Ducco?

Horror that's based on supernatural or horror that's based on a person being very, very evil. Probably supernatural. Yeah, I can see. I find the opposite because I'm like, that actually could. Yes. And you can't see supernatural things. either, so you can't defend yourself. Yeah, but when you see me floating in the air,

when you see me floating in the air, like, you know, bust it up, that would be scary. Even that motion, you just didn't, it was terrifying. I watched, you know what I don't mind? I don't actively go out of my way, but I watch the original exorcist. Yeah, because it's from, like, the 70s. It's not scary, which I didn't mind. Damien!

I'm like, that's fine. I can see the wires. Yeah, yeah, totally. You know what I mean? Another really scary one back in the day was the hills have eyes. I've not, yeah, you know. That was like, what was the creature? So basically these people would always drive through these like canyons and these like

fucked up sort of people that have been inbred and incest for so long and they've all got deformed bodies and stuff. They basically wait for tourists and families to come through this canyon where they get no phone reception. They pop their tires and they, the people think they've just sort of had to blow it, whatever. And then basically they come in and, you know, rape them and attack them. Oh, jeez, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hectic.

Yeah, it was, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, thank you. him. Yeah, that was a scary. Again, this is like real people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yucky. Having said that, the grudge, as I said, still, still has mucked me up. Super scary. From when I was like 14. So, yeah, I mean... Watch gremlins or something. Grimlins is a good time.

I can love gremlins. You know what I don't mind, though? Gore. Yeah, gore's fine. Like, sore? I don't think saw. Saw's twisted, though. It is twisted, but I love how cory it is. Yeah. Like, where, do you remember, I don't know if it was Saw one or two, where it was the challenge, there was one girl, I think she was a drug addict and there was a really, really fat guy. Yes. And they had to pay their pound of flesh. And he starts carving his belly and she just chops off her arm.

I loved that. It was gross. That was amazing because you just think they're Australian, the guys who came up. We saw. You go, what twisted minds came up with this. Yeah. But that didn't get me as much as your scleries. Yeah, yeah.

The ones are a real scary. Oh, goodness, goodness, goodness. Geez, I'm not watching a scary movie tonight. No, I didn't need to watch a rom-com. Scary movie. Yeah, scary movies. Like, scary movie. Oh, yes, the spoofy one.

She's coming out of the TV. Take my strong hand. Is that that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that the Wyand brothers? Are they in that? Yeah. Yeah. They made like four or five of those. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe five.

Yeah. I don't know if I actually seen them in its entirety or just clips on like Instagram or God, Facebook maybe back in that day. Yeah. But anyway, I'm so excited for your trick-or-treating. Well, yeah, hopefully it's good. Yeah. I just want to say.

You're like people's reaction to you. In terms of how they deal with parents with a young kid, do you get candy or do they go, I'm not wasting a candy on a baby. Yeah. Because you're just going to eat that. And like, she can't have it. And I probably won't want that much candy anyway.

Well, that's true. You'll have, what's your, you'll have one kid to surprise and be like, oh, that's enough for me. Yeah, yeah. Even then I, yeah. And you can just bring him to work. Yeah.

Sweet tooth babs over here with love. Oh, yeah. And then you'll be complaining of your guts next week. That'll be a whole thing. Oh, your chalky teeth can't handle that much sugar. Yeah. Oh, well. Oh, well, we live in Milan.

Hey, uh, enjoy the show. Take it up, don't know. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know, I got that shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up with you. I'm not that easy to tang. When you sign old ladies' boobies, you stretch the skin out to avoid the wrinkles.

I ain't got to explain. Ducco. Oh, sweetie. Oh, what do you smell your armpits, I want it? I got him going insane. Yeah. Shy guy. drive past a truck.

You don't know if it's full or empty inside. Fast. People were definitely watching. This is Jess and Taco. Happy Chartero team. Happy Halloween. Oh my gosh. It's Halloween today. Can I thank you both for not doing what every dumb radio show does around the country and position someone in the scary, I don't know,

its clown outfit or just some oogity boogity monster? To frighten us as we got out of the lift, I've only just realized that didn't have. happen and I'm very grateful. You know why it didn't happen? I think because shy guy isn't here today. Oh, well, our Slim Reaper. Yeah, the Slim boy is not here today. So Babs couldn't do it on his own. You're absolutely

right. Because of all the people who could spook us as we pop out Babs has got too much, you know, sunshiny energy. Yeah. Shy guy's the one you want, yelling in your face. Yeah, we're hoping to be shy guy. And you're on his swingers cruise. He's not here. So he popped off

yesterday. He actually said I enjoyed the phrase, oh, what time am I boarding because I've never heard that used for a boat. He was sending us photos already. He found the swingers, but it was actually a different society. It was a difference. Oh, I love that that society. Why were they there?

That was, there's quite a few of them. In the matching, in the matching outfits, I hope his family have got some sort of matching outfit so they can look around, you know, the big deck or maybe in the buffet and go, oh, there's one of me family members. There is. There's another one. Like that society, we'll be able to pick each other out. They'll be doing a definite Halloween part.

on that crazy. Well, that's the thing. Didn't he put a definitive blanket ban for his family no costumes? Yeah, he did. That's no fun for Halloween. It's all about costumes. His family will be that kind of family who's sitting on the boat, staring at all the other people having a good time being like, just openly bitching about them. Yeah, yeah. Like, he's using his $70 a day Wi-Fi right now to listen to make sure our show open a play on time. 100%. I'm going to use a very radio terminology here. I can explain it if you need rice cookers, but have you segged the show rather enough Ducco, because he will come for you. He will.

He'll be so OCD right now. He will be. Good morning, shy guys. I'm very excited. I didn't think he'd execute. We gave him a challenge. As soon as you are on board, we want a voice memo. We want some content from you.

We need the sights and sounds as though we are there. 100%. He did send Babs something and we are going to play that in about an hour's time. Good audio, Babs? Not really, but I'll make it work. Yeah. Oh, is he in vacations? mode. Is he half-assed it? He's having...

There are so many ums. Oh, come on. He's having, like, margaritas and, you know, cock-sucking cowboys. Absolutely. Any drink he can get with the big fancy umbrella. Oh, absolutely. He's living his best. He's living his best. His tiniest little, uh, budgie smugglers. Yeah. He'll be living his best. Absolutely.

Um, but anyway, it is, it is going to be a big show. It's Friday. It's Halloween day. I'm going to trigger treating tonight this afternoon. Is this? I believe it's 4 p.m. Okay. I believe one treats at 4pm. Obviously. Obviously. Obviously with the little one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, you did say you were thinking about pumpkin. Yeah, she's going to be a pumpkin. She is going to be, but you've secured the outfit. But Morgan and I haven't got any dress-ups. I'm about to say, where did we land on mum and dad? Because I think it's weird if just the kid dresses up. Yeah, so I said to Morgan yesterday. I think we need to dress up.

I think so, too. What, did we land on a couple's outfit or did you go through your costume box? No, I mean, I was going to have to look at the costumes here at work. There's a pimp costume here if you want to adopt that. Yeah, I could be a pimp. Bab, do any costumes here I can use? Yeah, I think there's a carrot costume somewhere Oh, pumpkin and carrot

Love that. More you'll be the carrot, obviously, and I'll be the pimp. Otherwise, Babs, I did notice in your little drawers there, some fairy wings spilling out. Oh, yeah, there is. It's a witch's hat. Do you know what that was left?

Do you know what that was left over from, Duckow? No. No. From your birthday, we had an idea, oh, do we dress up as the fairies from those erotica books you like? And then we forgot to get the fairy wings out.

So they're still there. Or maybe shy guy vetoed. He's like, why would we dress up as the characters in the pornosy life? That's fair, that's fair. It's one thing to dress up as Lois. I'm like, why are you guys weird fairies today? Because you like those books. But the fairy wings are there.

Yeah. If you want to be a winged pin. It needs to be a basic, basic costume. Carrying child. You know what I mean? And she'll probably get over it. We don't know if it's going to work with her nap time. So let's...

You've got to coordinate the trick or treating around the nap. Let's find out. Ben, I'm excited. I haven't been trick-treating in years. Yes, I wonder what, and I can't wait to catch up with you on Monday, what sort of goodies you get? Yeah. In 2025, what are people handing out? And do I still get them?

Like, because my daughter won't eat them, but I'll take them on her behind. Oh, absolutely. Make sure you got a bucket for it. Yeah, obviously. And then, because she's such a cute baby, you'll probably get quite generous giftings. Oh. Unless you get a parent who goes, or she can't have that. I'll keep the air over for myself.

She just wants neurophid and panadol at the moment. And Bongchella. If anyone pops neurophon or panadol into her bucket, I'd be returning that. We don't take that from strangers. Hey, the show will go on though today. Big Friday, even though we're one leg of the chair down, producer's diary is happening. Babs has had to record it solo, I'm heard.

I'm re-braining that, Babs's diary. I mean, shy guy got a run for about the whole year. Shy guy's diary today. It's Babes. You should have done that, Babs. Just too nice. Yeah, you are. Just such a good person.

Up next, though, as we do every Friday, no dumb filter Friday. So you can call us or you can text us. Absolutely. We had a hell of a DM I'm going to find. Oh, yes. Last week. Okay. So good.

Play this and I'll find it for us. 13, 10, 60. see if you go dumb thought or text 04-08-18-106-9. Give us a call. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. We are officially, I'm going to say the only, judgment-free radio show.

Absolutely. We'll share dumb thoughts. Always. If you share dumb thoughts. 04-8-18-1069. Always texting your dumb thoughts. We love your dumb thoughts. There's no such thing.

That's a dumb thought. Even better 13, 1060 if you want to get your voice on the year. We had one come through just as we wrapped up last week, Ducco. And I said to Zach, Zach, remind me, I'm going to come back to it. And I've remembered, I've pulled up Zach's message. Dumb Thought Friday. Context, me and my best mate were in an aeroplane flying to Melbourne. And he asked me, is there wind up this high?

How would we ever know? because you're always in a plane. You're never going to know if there's a breeze. How are you going to know if there's a breeze? You're never going to know this strong breeze or what it's doing. Unless you're outside the plane somehow. Yeah, maybe the only people to ask are those stunt pilots and those crazy aerolists who like strap themselves to the wing of a plane.

Probably Little might have done that once. And they, but is it wind, duck, or is that just your velocity? Could be velocity because you're moving fast, so it's going to be windy anyway. Yes, exactly. That's not necessarily wind. It's just your movement. Like if you were up there dead still... Yes.

Is there a breeze? Is there a breeze? I'm trying to think even being in hot air balloons that I've done. But they're probably not high enough. He's talking plane height, right? He's talking plain height because you're right. I think hot air balloon, you could succumb to the wind. Yeah, you get a bit of wind in that, you know?

They like a bit of wind. Because that's where the moon landing conspiracy theory... Oh, with the flag moving. There's a lot of people talk about. Yep. Why was the flag flapping? Yeah. There's no wind in the atmosphere.

But at plain height? That's a good. one. I just love that they're on a boy's trip to Melbourne. His buddies turned to him and gone, hey man, is there wind up here? What? His best friend had another one. Yeah, yeah. We have drains, so why does it flood?

But that one, I think, well, then there's too much water. Too much water. Bad drainage. Yeah, I hope Zach, you know, was an idiot there. Come on, we're going to talk that one through. What are you got for me? Because this is exciting. You said, I think I have the dumbest thought.

I've had the dumb thought of it. Here we go. Babzes are already shaking her head, so I'm so excited for this. I was thrilled to bring this to you because it was a real Confucius moment. Yeah. If you have a pizza, and you put another pizza on top of that pizza. I don't know why you would. Yep.

But imagine. Bottom down, so they're just both sitting on top of each other? You can do whichever way. Okay. You got a Hawaiian and a margarita. Yeah. Put the margarita on top of the Hawaiian. You've got two pizzas.

Yep. If you put a third pizza on top of that. Yes. Is that a sandwich? It's no longer a snack of pizzas. call that a sandwich. Why does the third make it a sandwich? Because it's middle. There's bread in the middle, I get it. Yeah, you got it. You've got the thread. He's got the thread. I was like two, three is a sandwich? Okay. Did you two pieces on top of each other? Does it matter what

pizza you put in the middle in order to make it the sandwich? Like, is the Hawaiian the sandwich in the middle because it's got some ham on it. Because there's more filling. As the margaritas more of a base. Yeah. And I love that you've been having a peach this week and you're like, if I have two pizzas, I could have two on top if I had three pizzas. Because isn't three pizzas the dream? Because I I can never decide. Should I get two or three? Should I get two?

It's only me. It would be a pizza sandwich, I presume. Get them all on top of each other. Yeah. A lot of crust. That's a lot of crust. You're really working. My jaw.

It's probably conflicting flavors there as well. If I've got a pepperoni and a Hawaiian and the potato and rosemary, there's a lot going on there. It's like a calzone. Like, I never. I love a calzone. But like, do you? Yeah, every time I get one, I'm like, yeah, it's good. But like, why did I do that?

I love the idea of a. A pizza is superior. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. What's your thoughts on this pizza sandwich? I have none. You're a dumb thought for us today now? Shall I guys not here?

No. You've been dumb this week? I'm done. Okay, talk to me. The TV remote wasn't working last night. Disaster station. And I did, the thing that everyone does, which is what I want to drill down on. Why when something isn't working in your remote, all you do is press it harder and harder and harder and harder.

and to the point where you're just like, nothing happens. Like, why am I pressing the button harder? It's like pressing a lift button more times. 100%. Why do we do that? Why do we do that? I found myself, I think it was a Bluetooth issue, but I was like, I reckon it's a battery. So I'm tapping me wireless headphones on the side of a bench.

Just hoping something will work. And sometimes the tap method does work. Don't get me wrong. A bit of a hit here and there. I don't know if it's sitcoms that taught us like kicking the printer will make it work. So now I just assume any tech, you can bang it, hit. It's harder. Yeah.

Why do we do that? It's honestly, I can't... I reckon it's worked once and we thought, ah, the kick or the hit. 100%. On tech fixes the issue. I can't move on unless I've done it. Like, unless I've given it the hard push for the button to then go, oh, no, okay, probably is the battery. You've punched your volume.

Yeah, so hard. So hard. I think it might be a battery issue. Yeah, yeah. Ah, look at this. Oh, now the remote's broken. So, there you go. Oh, we've got someone commenting on the hot air.

balloon conundrum. Yeah. You don't feel the wind in a hot air balloon because you're going with the wind. Oh. But it's open air. It's open air. Wouldn't I still feel it on you back?

If you're still standing still. This is on the text line, by the way, if we're double 8,00016 line. Corey said two pizza topping to topping in a sandwich. Two pizzas, topping to topping is a sandwich. Oh, so he's saying I don't even need the third if we just put the Hawaiian normal

but then flip the margarita over. That's simply a sandwich. You don't even need the middle. Corey. Geez, now that's food for thought. order, isn't it? So I don't need to order the third piece. I think you stick with two. All week, we've been beta testing alpha

bucks at 7 a.m. and I think we can officially declare Ducko. It now lives at 7am. So no more 6.30, if you aren't just tuning in thinking it's next. It's not. We're going to play at 7 for your crack at $10,000 this morning. Not new news. We've spoken about this plenty of times

on the show. One of the great things that we get rights to do as humans is go to the toilet on work time. We love getting paid to poof. Yeah, yeah, we do. If you would like to hear one of the great controversial conversations that split this team apart, yesterday's podcast cannot recommend more. The podcast opener, the top.

I went asked everyone that question. Do you stand to what? Which we might need to do further investigation, but let's put a pin in it. I haven't found one person who does except for you and Shilard, which is bizarre. And we did promise you. a video and I'm pooed this morning, but I finished and then realize I wasn't filming, so I will get you that video. I don't need the video.

I just need you to tell me. I just need you to explain it. No, no, I want to show you how it works. Anyway, what's... Go listen to the podcast. It's fantastic. New study's been done by the future job study. Apparently 6% of people are unhappy with their jobs.

No surprise there. But it's taken the rounds to Reddit of funny workplace environments. For example, there is a sign in this bathroom that's been shared online. It's gone viral. And it simply reads, no phones in the bathroom. If you are in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes, a manager will conduct a smell test. And if they do not smell any number two, you will be written up. Hang on a minute.

So you're allowed to take more than 10 if you are doing puppy. Yes. And the only way to assess that is for someone to come and smell what it's going on in the work toilet. And if they don't smell puppy, clearly you're scrolling. Exactly right. Oh my goodness. So, I'd literally, imagine your manager being like, you stink.

We're good in here. You're all right. All right. All right, Babs, you're right back and run out. Babs, I'll leave you to it. Sorry, but also, from the manager's perspective, what if you don't want to do that? I know, but also imagine if it's like a girl who's been there for too long

and you're a male manager or vice versa. You're the only ones on shift that time. Is that going to be like our boss, Jay? So Babs has been in there for too long. Does he find a guy and go, all, Jess, you've got to go in there. And you've got to check out. You want to do the smell test for me. I'm in no way, shape, or form her manager.

I'd be like, that's above my pack, great, Jason. Open the door and just let me waft it from outside. And also, I'd have my girls back. I'd be like, yeah, Jason, stinks in there. Yeah, she's doing a massive one. She's clearly got gut trouble. Horrible issues in that. Leave her be.

And I'm just crying in the ball. It's just a mental health cry. It's all good. I've been at this job for 27 years. I've finally worked my way up to boss. And now I have to go smell test the new employees because they're spending too long in the bathroom. It doesn't say what the job is.

But what job is that where if they're not there for 10, we're going to write you up? I know. What world are we living in? Could you imagine that? Anyway, a bunch of other people sharing to the Reddit thread as well saying that this is similar things have happened at their job. They've got signs in their door saying you can only be in for five to 10 minutes.

If you're in for longer, someone will knock on the door and do a wellness check. Oh my God. Could you imagine that? No, I need, I mean, you and I don't have the luxury of five to 10 minutes because we obviously have to come back on. Times of the essence. We don't muck around. And it's not as fun when the show's finished doing it.

It's like, well, I can just go home. Well, that's exactly it. I don't feel like I'm getting paid to poo. I feel like I'm being paid to poo when it's between six and nine. Yeah, there's nothing more anxious than being on air, hearing our show. And then you're in the toilet and you're like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. A hundred percent.

I actually was trying to make something, maybe a cup of tea. And I literally had to say to Babs, where are we in Somba? Is this wrapping up or is this just start? Because I didn't catch it. She goes, we're in the first verse. I said, okay, I've got at least a minute and a half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't it just?

So we feel for people who are getting wellness checked or smell checked by their bosses. What a thing to add to your resume. Add to your LinkedIn. Smell checked all my employees. But also then you really want to mosey up to the really stinky people because then you go, I can co-op the smell you've left. People will think I'm pooing. But that was just leftover smell.

Try and tee up your toilet time at the same time. Exactly. I am just scrolling. But, you know, Bab stinks so much. Yeah, yeah. It smells like it could be interested here. Thanks, Babbs. Cross to Babs.

It hurts to poo. Jess and Ducko. Oh, hang on, Babs is in studio, sitting in Shy Guy's chair. He's our resident ghost, Babs. It's Halloween. Be a ghost. Ooh. That's really spooky.

What's not spooky is $10,000. Alpha Bucks plays just after your 7 o'clock news. Next, isn't it? That's exciting. Now, right now, I got one of the great calls yesterday from a friend. And I just wanted to give you an insight into how boys' minds work. I love this stuff, yes. My mate, who I would say, like, he's obviously a friend, but we would rarely, I don't remember

last time we spoke on the phone. We only really speak during footy season, like during NRL season, and we only really chat about our mutual love, which is the Broncos. Okay. You know, like, we still friends. So it was a call on a random weekday, very out of them. Super weird. Did you immediately think something's wrong?

I didn't know, but I was intrigued enough to take the call. I wasn't going to let it go to voicemail and text him. That's good. You don't have this immediate anxiety. When I hear from people I haven't heard, I'll go, oh, so who's died? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, I pick up the call and I'm like, hey, mate. And he's like, mate, straight away.

He goes, mate, I just need to know. Like, yeah, he goes, talk me through it. What was it like? What was it like being there when the Broncos won the great? Final. Hang on a minute. That was a few minutes ago now. So long ago.

He's like, may I rewatch the game last night? I rewatched the game. You were there and I just taught me through it. What was the feeling like? And I just literally, I didn't even, I just laughed. I go, mate, heaven. Euphoria. I swear our chat went for three minutes.

And I was like, all right, have a good one. That's all he wanted to touch base on. What was it like the feeling of being there when they won? Can we drill down on re-watching a grand final two months after a tap? How long ago? Two months? Yeah, whatever it was. Is that normal?

I mean, would you have, I mean, you were there. I re-watch it the next day. I re-watched games the next day. That's that I'll pay, but like, a month and a bit. I would re-watch it maybe like in a year or so. I don't know about it, I'd do it a month later. But he was just like, oh, just on a high. I'll watch it.

I remember if you were there and I just, because he was the last couple of finals that they lost. He didn't go to this one. And he goes, I just need to know what was it like. I love the idea. He's watch the game. obviously recapture the euphoria but went, I reckon I can add to this cup by getting a first-hand account from me, mate, Ducco.

It was like I was talking dirty to him. He was just like, yeah, tell me more. Tell me more. People usually pay for those phones because you should have charged him at the end. And when the siren went off, what was it like then? Oh, did you see them with the trophy? For more detail, please insert another 69 cents.

Jess and Ducco's 10K Alphabomax on hit. 30 seconds for end. Answer, 10 questions all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course, we come back if there's time. Now, we are playing for $10,000.

Our player today is Beck. Hello, Beck. Hi, Duckoo. Hello, Beck. Hi, yeah. And Babs is here too. Hi, Babs. Hi, hi, Beck.

Oh, I'm saying, hi, everyone. Oh, family. I know you'd chat with shorts on the phone earlier. Beck, welcome to the Friday. 7 a.m edition of Alfa Bucks, $10,000 on the line. What do you want to spend the money on? I'd like to buy my son a car. Very generous of you, Beck.

Would this be his first car? Yeah. It will be his first car, yeah. All right. Well, maybe you'd like to look at a Hyundai, maybe a Honda because your letter is H, Beck. There we go. All right, no worry.

All right, you're happy with that? Well, I've got to be. That's it. You do have to be. You've got no choice. This is a smart switched on lady. She's like, what's the point of complaining? I've got to embrace it.

No such thing as complaining here. Beck, you're ready to rock. Yep. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter H, we need you to name something in the bathroom. Headband. A phone app.

Pass. A chocolate brand. Hershey. A school subject. History. An instrument. Harmonica. An adjective.

Pass. A comedy film. Happy Gilmore, no. A flower. A periodic element. A international city. Damn it. Yes, you were good.

You were good. And you got yourself six. Right. One of them you answered correctly and you didn't think you did with Happy Gilmore. That was spot on. You doubted yourself. You doubted yourself. A phone app could have been Hinge or HBO.

or Hulu, there's a few. An adjective, happy or healthy. You did get comedy film, a flower, hybiscous, and international city sort of ran out of time there. I've no doubt you'd have got Honolulu or Houston. Absolutely, she would have. You can hold your head up high. I mean, no Honda for your boy.

No Honda for the boy. But what does she get? You do get $100 to spend at Hair House. He might not like that, but you will. Yeah, definitely. Jesse and Ducco. Happy Friday team, happy Halloween. Everyone trick-treating.

Tonight, this afternoon, actually, it's an afternoon thing. And then as soon as today's over, take down those scary decorations, please. Some of them have gotten way too scary this year. The Dementors near my house, they should go. I want to leave a letter. It's about the third time you've mentioned the Dementors are you in. Because I'm really hoping they hear it and they'll take them down. But today's their day.

Today's their day. You know whose day it is. What's that? Shog us. Oh, well, he's not here because he's on a family swingers cruise, as we know. That's right. That's the ship. That's the ship horn, thanks to Glenn.

When it left the dock in Sydney yesterday, shy guy misread the family group chart. He thought it was three days. He thought he could leave after the show today, but it was actually three nights, meaning he needed to get down there yesterday. Yeah, he asked us for permission on air on Monday, came on early and did it. Which is a dangerous precedent now to say it because I'll be doing all my requesting on air and you can't say no because you don't want to look like jerks. Yeah, I know.

Or we might just have to get tough with it and start saying no. You know what I mean? Either way, he's taken a long weekend. Why are you looking at me? Because who's the one who's need to take and take a few days off here and there. Four cruises in the past. Oh, what? That's the precedent you said.

So Shai goes on the same cruise as your family went on Babs. Yes, he actually is. And he was talking about getting massages yesterday, but he said it looks unhygienic. I know, the beautiful day spa aboard this beautiful luxury ship. He went, looks German. What are you talking about? He sent us a text all in our group yesterday saying, I already hated on here. He had just bought it.

Just bought it with his little fedora. He's given us an audio update. That's the thing. We did say, listen, if you're going to take the day off, we're going to need something from you, something that we can play on Friday to get the rice cookers and ourselves across it. Yeah.

He sent Bab some audio. You and I have not heard this. It's at 1am, too. I don't know what he did. He'd have a few cosmos. Yeah, I saw it this morning. He goes for 45 seconds. So here's Shiger's cruise update.

Morning rice cookers, Shiger here reporting live from his suite on the carnival splendor. with his diary entry for the first day. Is he drunk? Things are good. Room is great, nice and large. Boats good.

Tonight was 80s night, so there was an 80s disco. I obviously didn't dress up or participate in it, but I was aware of it happening. I've been thinking about it. This place is just like a floating RSL club with so many kids. Jesus Christ, there's so many kids. But it's good. It's good. Thank you for giving me this Friday off.

I hope you have a good show. And now that I have bought the Wi-Fi package to do this diary entry, I will be claiming it back on Conquer. Our work system to claim things back. That is our Fettigach system. He sounded a bit buzzed. If that's at 1am, he's just finished the 80s party. His dad's, and his dad's just been dressed up as a day.

He's character dancing. He was just standing off to the side of the dance floor. Perks of being a wallflower, just in his arms, crawls. Taking it all in. A floating RSL is a funny way to look at it with lots of kids because parents would take kids on that. Can't lose a kid on a cruise ship, you know what I mean? That's right.

Obviously, you keep an eye on them as they get close to the deck. Unless I went overboard. I was going to say, yeah. I did see, in one of the images he did send us, there was a hell of a water slide, pool situation. So I see the appeal for families, but shy guy being 30, he's like, I'm not the kid who should have been brought on this trip. Did you do the 80s night?

Yeah, we did. I remember talking about it. Yeah, and superhero night. Oh, that's right. Would you say if you're going to do it, the best way is to lean in. I think so. What's what my parents said to me. You just trapped on a tin can in the middle of the ocean.

Oh, your parents would say that. Lean in, honey. They had four marks before they got on the boat. It's got to lean in today, Babs. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Right now, Ducko. I've experienced lady blue balls. Here we go.

Oh. Purple balls. Red ball. Yellow balls too. You know my favorite bowl of all is the card of blue. Blue balls. Is that a kid's song? That's the Wiggles.

Purple balls. Red balls. Yeah, Blue Balls, too. You know my favorite bubble is the cause of... They are taking the Nicky there. They are like, should we write a song about Blue Balls? Yeah, okay.

Absolutely. Let's just make it all the colours. And it's Lucia. Oh, she's the blue wiggle and she's talking about the blue balls, which doesn't say blue balls. She says balls that are blue. Balls that are blue. That's funny.

I wonder if you've experienced this in the same way I have. Because obviously, being a gentleman, I think you have. I think you have. And shorts are still in studio. You've got a pair. You can chip in too. You've got a pair.

You've had a chance, mate. The equivalent for me, Ducco, in no surprise, I'm sure for you. Yes. Comes in the form of unsatisfied meals. And when I say that, I don't mean, I don't mean like a bad one. I mean if an opportunity presents itself to have something I want, but then it's taken away from me. Yeah. I had to go down to Sydney yesterday after.

I was very lucky. I had a really great afternoon. I was a guest on a podcast, which will be released in a little while. So I had to go down to Sydney for it. And on the drive home, I went, oh, my God. This is a rare opportunity. I don't have the husband. I don't have the baby.

I've got a little bit of time to spare. I'm going to get this particular chicken and chips. That is only down there. Right. Yes. I think you'd be familiar with the chain. It's only down there. Obviously, don't have it all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the issue for me is the last. last time the opportunity was presented to have this specific chicken and chips, I know exactly where we were. August 10, it was the Sunday, we landed back from Italy. Because that's usually the only time we're down in Sydney. If we're flying out, we landed at 7 a.m. The chicken shop wasn't open.

And I had been so excited knowing we're in Sydney. I'm going to get this chicken and chips. We land and Angus goes, babe, it's not going to be open. And the deflation I felt The food balls Bro, I was, I'd built it up The whole journey home Like I can't wait till we land

And I'm getting his chicken and chickens Hasn't put the times together Just yeah Hasn't put the time together Because you know I don't do the admin of my house So I just was so disappointed Yeah So yesterday

Yeah Finally got us satisfied Yeah Those blue balls And I got it You did it It was really underwhelming So I was really disappointed

Doppily But at least It's always the way of the balls You know Sometimes Sometimes you don't need to go back. It's always like it's been too long and then the satisfaction. Well, that's why they're so bad.

That's why it's not going to be so bad because you're never going to get the satisfaction. That's a thing. The build up, it absolutely degraded the elation. There's a real sweet spot, would you agree? Oh, look at you relating to the men. For two months, I felt the pressure. I wasn't able to release. Let's break down the stigma.

Let's fight the norm. I've never felt closer to you boys. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just realized. Going from my balls to your balls. Yeah, true. Jess is chatting about having blue balls about food, and now I'm going to speak about my fertility night

that I did last night with my actual swimmers, my little guys. Bad, how did you not catch that? How did not catch that? Come on, man, that's bad planning. Come on, you're the boss. Funnily enough, my chat will have less to do about balls than Jesses did. Sorry, I want a nice, crisp clear. Can you repeat what you just said?

Remember what I just said? I should be more ball away. I should be more ball aware. Thank you, man. Yes, you should. How was last night, Ducker? You were on a science panel. Yes.

It's a big deal, man. With HMRI for fertility, men's infatility and raising awareness for that. It was some great. Dr. Hedges was there. It was great to see Dr. Hedges again. We love seeing Dr. Hedges. What a guy. Hunter IVF does incredible work.

We're very fortunate to have him. Andrew? Andrew. Andrew, yep. Did you consider giving Florence the middle name Andrew? I did. She's got the, yeah. Florence, Andrew, Alan Duckett.

Why am I, Andrew? Ah, the guy who made you. There was a great doctor involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was good. You know, went to the panel there. There was about sort of 60-odd people there, um,

chatted about it. I learned some things myself about what some of these, you know, professionals were speaking about and signs of fertility and infatility problems and yada and then I got up there and did the panel thing. And it was really good. Like, obviously I was speaking about my experience and everyone knows my story and, you know,

just, you know, the IVF experience and tips and advice for sort of going through that. And there was a few young couples there, which was great. Obviously, of guys in the room. There was still probably I noticed some girls without their partner who just come in to sneak in and maybe their partner didn't know.

For how much I think you have done and I think we can all pat you on the back for that, the stigma around men talking about their health in general. We've known it since the dawn of time. Getting your husband, your boyfriend, your dad to go to a GP. That's what they said. Let alone actually front up to maybe something they're going through. That's challenging. Men are more likely to get their dog checked at the vet before they'll get themselves checked.

100%. Things like that, you know, and they don't want to. anything that's going wrong, the masculinity aspect, and I sort of spoke about it. So, look, it was really good. All did great things. There'll be some footage coming out of it shortly. So I'm really proud of how it went. It was a good night. Yeah, congrats. But, um, so, you know, we were discussing what I should wear. You know what I mean? I'm on a science paddle. That's right. I was surprised yesterday you didn't come in character already in a lab coat. I was pondering a lab coat. Couldn't find one at home. I wanted you to fit in with the professors,

the doctors, the researchers. So I rock up, right? And I rock up to this room, function center sort of thing. And I realize, out of all the speakers speaking, because there was obviously people from HMIRI, smart people speaking. And then there was the panel. I was the only one who didn't have a long-sleep button-up or jacket on. I rocked up. I was in the middle of the panel on either side of me

and they were both in jackets and chinos. Yeah, but you're the every man. That's what I thought. You're the every man. I'm up there with me. Tell me you didn't wear your stupid burks. You're this freaking slider ones that looked like Danish cloths.

Yeah, burks and socks. I'm just dressing it down. Informal. Let's chat about sperm. No. No, I was in, I was short-slee button up. But I was sitting in the middle, and it was so funny because, like, obviously, they spoke about my, you know, my story, we did all that. And then there was questions from the audience. And obviously, the audience wanted to know real scientific questions.

They're going to the professionals who are on either side of me in this panel. And some of the questions that were getting asked, I was like, what did you just say? Was that in English? Holy hell, what just happened? I will talk about my balls again if you need. 30 seconds 30 seconds to answer 10K alpha bucks on yet. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back. Of course, if there is time, we are playing for $10,000 today. Our player today... Leanne. Leanne. Good morning.

Good morning. Leanne Rhymes was our Friday banger. That's right. And now we've got Leanne, who's up for $10,000. Oh, yeah. How are you feeling this spooky Halloween Friday, Leanne? A bit nervous. Yeah.

Well, that's because there's a lot of scary things around. A lot of scary things happening. But you've got pals, Jess and Ducco here, just dangling $10,000 in front of you. What do you want to spend the money on? I'd love to take my family on a holiday Beautiful Where are we going? Well, we'd love to go to Japan

Japan Okay Great place, very part of the world Is there any food Or traditional dish You can think of Ducco starting with the letter P

Not that I could think of No There might be There might be Well, you know A hop-skip and a jump from Japan Yes Might be Papua New Guinea

That starts with P. That's next on the list. It goes Japan and P&G. I don't know if there's a direct flight, but you can look at R. Leanne, the letter's P, okay? Yep, okay. Ready to rock? Ready to go.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter P, we need you to name. A type of coffee. Pass. An adverb. Oh, pass. A school subject. Physics.

An NRL player. A male celebrity A horror film Oh no A fashion brand A band A band Oh I've just had a mind

What about a bird The horse has left the station Leanne Geez I think we knew from number one and two Adverb and type of coffee It wasn't our day You got yourself physics elite is you're not there with the nudie run. Is fashion brand Princess Polly is?

Yes, yeah. I was thinking, is that like the Polly Pockets, but, you know, I was getting me Polly's mixed up. You got your Polly's mixed up. You got yourself too, unfortunately, Leanne, type of coffee, piccolo, an adverb, perfectly, anything else, NRL player, Pat Carrigan, pain mask, male celebrity, Paul Rudd, a horror film, psycho, poltergeist, and then a band, I think we'd give it up then. Panic at the Disco or Pearl Jam. Oh, it's a lot harder when you're on. It is, isn't it? When that pressure's there?

Look, you don't get the money. We're not going on the holiday, Leanne, to PNG, but you do get $100 at Hair House. Not lovely. Thank you so much. You're welcome, Leanne. Thanks for joining the show and have fun if you trick-or-treating this afternoon. Yeah.

Whatever Halloween looks like. Thank you so much. Bye, Leanne. Jess and Ducko. We're going to do something different here, but we've decided to have a quick pivot because, of course, it's the 31st of October. Well, Docko, you were just having a scroll on,

social media and you made a comment off air saying, Jesus, I think we're the only radio show that hasn't dressed up and tried to scare colleagues. God, we missed the opportunity there. We didn't know Halloween was coming up this fast. You and I love dressing up. We love leaning into things, but Halloween I don't think for either of us usually

has been big on the agenda. Things have changed for the duck man and his family, though. We got invited to go trick-or-treating. I mentioned this earlier in the week, this afternoon, obviously, for Halloween. This is so spooky. It is weird, isn't it? Oh, my God.

It's creepy, isn't it? Yeah. I'd hope it would go somewhere, but it didn't. We've been invited to go trick-or-treating. Obviously, Flo is only six-month-old, so she's, you know, she's dressing as a pumpkin. She's practically a pumpkin. She's not toilet papering houses if they don't give her a treat.

And she's also not eating the sugar that she's going to get given if she gets given anything. Oh, well, that's an interesting conundrum, isn't it? Are you going to have a little bucket for her? This is what I want to know, 13, 1060, because we're going to trick-or-treating with flow. I've never done it before. I don't actually. quite know how to do it like do parents dress up if you go with your kids to parents dress up do parents get are we allowed to get lollies and and also how do you do it do you only go to houses

that are like themed like yes that's what i thought one of the rules was and we never play as a house and yet we still get door knocked do you i thought the rules were unless your house is decorated they're not playing Halloween yeah that's what i thought so now because it happened so much angus has now gotten into the habit of buying four or five bags of mini twicks or cherry rite just to have them because it's so awkward answering the door to usually a group of lovely children and then going um i've got a leftover cheese board in the fridge or i got dry pasta i don't actually have some prosciutto i've got my husband's half-eaten fruit and nut but i don't think you want that broken up into your bags so yes i think that's a blanket

rule Halloween 101 you only go to houses that are decorated isn't it funny it just goes against everything you're taught when you're a child. It's like, go to spooky house and ask for lollies off stranger. Just open your bucket, always say thank you. I mean, the fact that COVID didn't kill the Halloween trick-or-treat, it's just remarkable, really. It is cool, and it is cool to see, like, yeah, around that 4 or 5 o'clock, it's obviously still broad daylight, so many families getting around, and there is this wholesome element, and then the sun goes down and, like, the real creepy stuff starts happening.

Is there like an appropriate time that you need to stop trick-or-treating? Yes, that's what I want to know. So 13-10-60, how do you trick-trick-or-treat? Like, what's the blueprint here? Is there, what's the time? Do I have to dress up? Because I don't currently have a costume. See, that's what I wanted to drill down on.

You've said you've got a little pumpkin outfit for Flo, which is going to be cute as. I think you and Morgan need to dress up. I feel like it's weird if just the kid. It's just dressed up. Particularly, you've got to hold the kid. She's not walking. I would, like, walk her up to the door. You have to be daddy pumpkin.

Should I even take her trick-treating? You know, like he said, is it? Well, are you going to eat her chocolates that she gets? Yeah, probably. Ah, see, okay, this is, let's a little lover roll. plate, Babs, you're the homeowner. Ducco and Flo have knocked on your door. He's trying to say, oh, it's the baby.

Trick or treat. Look at my little pumpkin. She's so cute. She's not old enough to eat these chocolate. Daddy will have it. So Daddy gets no mini twigs in his little bucket. Yeah. Is that going to be an old of home? I don't know. Is that weird? Can you not? Or is it these days, I see a lot of people just leave a bucket of things out and you don't have to knock on the door?

We have done that once before. And, you know, it was sort of motion detected and I had a hand that would grab you. Yeah, yeah. But unfortunately, even if you put, yes, I don't know where he got it, but it's that classic thing. You put a little sign, please only take one. I literally watched a group of teenagers empty it into their bag. There's always a larger kid who just takes a couple. And you're like, come on, mate.

I'm not yelling at the larger kid, even though I could probably catch him. I'm not yelling at him. I don't like confrontation. Take it just so I can chase you. But there seems to be a lot of ground rules. I don't know how you learn these. And also, or I'd like to hear from someone, are you the only house in your street that doesn't. do it?

Oh, did you happen to get a Halloween-loving street and you're getting, hey, do want to put a tombstone on your front yard? Hey, where's the skeleton on the front door? I'm not playing. I don't want to do it. 13, 1060, Halloween. How do you do it? What's the, what's the, give me some rules and tips.

Yes. Or do you hate it? Or do you hate it? It is Halloween Day, of course. Now, we're not like big sort of Halloweeners in this studio. No, we love a dress-up and I love leaning into a theme, but Halloween was just never something my family. partook in, so I don't know, maybe

just hasn't caught fire. It seems to be getting bigger. But a lot of families do lean in. I'm seeing a lot of decorations. I mean, an afternoon for kids that just get free chocolates. I mean, what a time to be alive. What a time to be alive. When I was sitting there at a place,

eat my chicken and chips yesterday, the little kids behind me were all arguing about who was going to go a zombie Lionel Messi. And then they were arguing, they're like, no, I called, no, I called. I went, surely there are other soccer players. You can go a zombie version,

but they all wanted to be messy. I was like, Sally, our receptionist here, I just went out to get my breakfast. And she's like, she's all dressed up. She's got fake, like, she's done makeup cuts on her face. And then she's got tire marks over her shirt, and she's wearing a hit beanie. And she goes, guess what I am?

And I was like, road kill. Like, I don't, you know, and she goes, I've been hit by the hit patrol car. That's funny. Good gear from Sal. Very good year. I was like, Sally, no one's going to get that. But I like what you've done.

I like it too. I don't hate a costume you have to explain because it's a conversation starter. It's very you. Very. More conversation, the better. But some people lean in, and they're the people we're asking for advice right now. 048-18-106 line, of course, the text line. Kel's got in touch and said, most people now just leave a bucket of lollies up near the letterbox

so you don't even actually knock on doors anymore. You can just go up and grab it and go. See, this is the thing. The whole premise of trick or treat, if you don't give me a treat, I'm going to play a trick on you. Isn't that right? So it's like, if you don't give me a little mini cherry ripe, I'm going to toilet paper your house. Yeah. So without now having to talk to anyone, and there's just a bowl, we're going to lose the tricks.

It's like truth or dare. You don't actually have dares lined up. Just say truth. I want to get goss. Kelly, on 13, 1060, Kelly, Halloween 101, talk to us. What do you got? Okay, so Halloween, so my son's dad makes him a Halloween costume every year. Okay, cool.

And so he's actually at his dad's this weekend for Halloween and he's wearing a chainsaw man costume. Okay. And will his dad dress up as well? This is the sort of conundrum we have with young Florence. Oh, okay. He doesn't. Okay.

A lot of the reason is because he's made costumes before where he needs to help my son get into them and walk with them. Right. They're that intricate. Yeah, right. Yeah. What was the name of that?

The skim walker. The year before, it was Skimwalker and he was on stilk. So his dad had to help him actually walk with the thing. Yeah, right. So he can't be dressed. But see, little Florence, does it? She's just a pumpkin. She's just a little pumpkin.

You can be bigger pumpkin. You know. Kelly. Another Kelly. On 13, 1060. Kelly number two. Halloween 101 for me. How do you do it?

What's your rules? What's your go to? Yeah, back in 2018, I took my family to America, and we went trick-or-treating there. And the rule was that you didn't have to have your front of your house decorated, just had to have your front light on. Oh, so that's the way to tell people, I'm in play, you can come knock on my door. Yeah, so even if it's light, you can still sit the front light on, so that's what you did. But this is the issue here now, Kel.

I mean, it's broad daylight by the time some of these families are walking around. So I might have my front light off because I don't want to play. you can't tell The minute the lights are on Florence will be asleep You've got to go home Courtney on 131060 Are you trick-or-treating

What's your Halloween 101? Hello? Hello Courtney, good morning Hi, how you going? Excellent, thank you. What's your approach to Halloween? So yeah, normally it is you know, you decorate the house

or you've at least got something out for them to actually come and knock and to get their treats my neighbour, he's an elderly neighbour. He doesn't do the trick of treating, but they still knock on his door for some particular reason. So he started off giving out gold coins. He then, each year after that,

he would actually go to the bank and make sure he had enough gold coins. Like literal money, not chocolate gold coins. He was given out $1, $2. $1 and $2. And then he got to the end. He actually had like, I think he said he had like $100 worth of ones and twos. And he actually ended up giving out $5 notes.

Oh, my God. How good's that? I want to go to his house. No wonder people are liking him. You know what? Save the whiz for his grandpa. I'll take a two bucks. I'll take that.

And $5 as a kid is, like when you get a note. Oh, my God. You're rich. Yeah. That's fantastic. Go find his house. Absolutely, docko. Hey, you the guy gives money.

Gemma, good morning. you. Morning. We're trying to make sure Ducko's well equipped for his first Halloween with the little one. I want to fit in with the team. Absolutely. What does he need to know? Well, we need to let you know, Ducko, that you don't actually have to go trick or

treating. You can sit out the front like my parents used to do and have a drink with a naivist. And everybody got together and they just sat the kids on the floor dressed up and took beautiful photos and everyone walked fast and gave them lollies. Oh, hang on a minute. Oh, so it's a walk by Lolley. a reverse trick or treat. It is. I don't mind that. But the neighbours all got together and had a beer and a wine.

Oh, that sounds like my kind of humbling. I must admit, Gemma, I was going to bring a stubby of four X and just roll. Yeah, traveller. Yeah, travel. That's definitely the way to do it. Yeah, I think so. You may as well enjoy yourself. You're dressed as drinking on the street, man. Jess and Ducko. Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko.

Well, looks like I'll be taking this one today because Shagai decided to fuck on a cruise and he thought it would be real comedic to do it on air. I'm going to a cruise for a weekend. Hang on, are you bad? No. What is happening? Hang on, is shy guy? What are you celebrating?

Is it a... Is it a... Is it a bab's kind of cruise? Like a swingers cruise? Yeah. No. It just goes out and then comes back. It's a weekender.

That's what the swingers cruise is. It doesn't matter where you go. It's just what happens on the ship. There's no laws out at it safe. I thought it was from Friday to Sunday and I thought I could go under the radar. Oh, you're going. You wouldn't have told us. You would never have told her.

Never do. What do you do, Shaugan? I'd have gone, nothing. That's right. Hey, what are you doing this weekend? Not much. Let me see photos of you drinking from coconuts. I'm like, what?

Really, what's the alternative, ducco? They're all going on the Thursday. If we say, no, you've got to come the Friday. Does he have to get a little dingy and roll himself out to the cruise liner? Yeah, no, we can do that. I think that's... Hi, Captain, we've got Mr. Shy guy. Yeah.

You know, like, you could get a chopper, fly you to the boat? Or just... Can we put that bill then? Can you take the kit and do the show from there? No, no reception. International. I don't know the cost of Wi-Fi. You know how expensive it is on a boat?

What is it? It's like $90 a day. I think you'll be right, but we can... Concord. Yeah, work will cover it. Petty cat. It'll be fine. Ducko had a friend that said that a woman's knees

or a window into her future. This somehow got the guys talking about Jess's mum's knees. Then Ducko got real slimy. My mum kept herself pretty tight. Hasn't she? I haven't seen her knees in a bit, though. Yeah, well, she hides there. She's a modest lady.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your dad still hasn't seen them, which is why they're married. Lights off always. Hence why he was trying to use candles in France. Candlelight in France, and you got the hotel evacuated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which just quickly goes, geez, shy guy was giving me the fifth degree on questioning me about what the scent of the candle was and what the whole incident was.

He goes, geez, he was asking me a lot of questions. He really didn't give me any more. He didn't give me anything. I try, him on your mom. That's close to the chest, haven't they? I tried both of them. They gave me nothing. If you could crack anyone, you could crack my mum.

She wouldn't give you... She didn't give up the goodies. Hey, Les. Come over here, I've got a wee-spah. Let me see your knees. Have this wee-spah. Pop on down on this little seat and let's chat for ants. What really went down in that over?

She didn't actually go to the bra specials yesterday. Oh, see, I dropped her off at Linders. Yeah, yeah. But really, she hopped in an Uber and went to duck her. I picked her up. We got a Zingerberger and had a chat. She likes the Ziggas. I know she does, man.

You don't need to tell me what she likes. The team became divided in the podcast when Jess and Shagai got open about their weird toilet habits. Do you arise to wipe or just sort of lean forward? Oh, you stand up? No. I'm almost stand up. See, I stand up too. Oh my God, stop doing that.

They're high-fiving each other and it's just... I've got so much in common. I just feel sorry for them when I do that. How many... Don't be jealous. It's okay. No, I'm not jealous of standing. You've worn it up.

You've got it. Because when you're standing, your butt cheeks are going to go in together. Thus, if you have any poo there. Yeah, but I always shout right after I poo. Oh, where it's going? That's so weird. We're learning.

If I do like a midday poo, I'll just have a quick shoo. Ew. This is the thing. Because you don't want it to. No, I do wipe more than I need you, but I just like to shower afterwards. How tight are your ass cheeks? You can't get in between them to wipe properly.

I've never, oh yeah. The standing thing's winging me out. It's winging me out too. This show is known for bringing in the best dating advice. This one came across Ducko's desk, so he decided to test it on Jess. Yes, it is. Am I doing this?

No. I'm enacting what I'm about to talk about. See? I knew what you were doing. I read the article. So this is the new thing that dating coach reveals the three second rule which makes people instantly more attractive in relationships or on first dates or in general conversation.

No way. That was so intimidating and freaky. What did I do? I held eye contact with you and I just paused for three seconds. And then let it and then answer. I hated it. Yes. This is where I think, Chagall and Babs, like, you want me horrible at this?

Babbs, have you reckon you would do this? Because I wouldn't say you'd rush to fill the silence. Don't. I probably would. No, that wasn't long enough. It's only one and a half. It's so uncomfortable. Oh my God.

So uncomfortable. We really made you super uncomfortable in this chat. It was, that is, I... I hate it. In case you've been living under a rock for the last few, weeks. Thieves stole $160 million worth of jewels from the Louvre in Paris. We broke the news that police had arrested two suspects. I'm not sure how Ducko and Shagai would fare in jail, though. Well, imagine if us four did it. And then Babs and Shagai left

their helmet and gloves and then they get caught trying to fly to New Zealand. They would call us under the bus? Would you, yeah? It means like a get out jail free card. I don't think you'd get out. That's the thing. I think it would be like you'd get less time. But you know what he do? Be like, I was a pawn. It was all dressed and d'uck. That's so true. I just worked for them. I wouldn't do well in jail. Too unhygienic. I don't think any of us would do well in jail, by the way.

Oh, man, I'd find my people. Me. I'd be, I'd be part of the football league. I'd be part of the cartel. How'd this happen? You see me just sitting down with all the cartel? We've got to visit Ducko and he's just like mob box. I've got a teardrop tattoo under my eye.

Oh, what's happening? Signorita. And you've developed an accent. He's always in character. He's part more in prison. Oh, what's happened? I've never seen these guys in my face. Life, is it?

We're definitely taking your car. So I'll tell you all the story about the joke around the thief in the night. Ducco tries to be real relatable to me all the time. And so that means we have some of the great chats at work. You're going to come go off some of my ceiling and husk if you want. You're a tablespoon? I've got a pack it. Yeah.

Look, I've got to pack it right here. Also, this is what me and Ducco talked about for 10 minutes when I saw it this morning. Well, Matt, you don't necessarily start conversation. So I just go straight to sign as well. I was saying it was a bad thing. She hates you sending her memes and funny reels. She only wants to talk about sinus and guts. I just looked at the last two memes I've sent bad.

She hasn't even replied to it. I've sent, and now I've sent three unanswered. Now, you know what she's done? You know what she's done? She's open it gone, oh my God. And then unread you, you know, to make it look like she hasn't opened it at all. Tell what you've done to me? As opposed to reply.

No. You show me how to do that, but. Sure. Lots of pollen around Babs, bad, hey, hey, fever season for us. I get tagged from people now regularly and just hay fever things And I'm sure you appreciate it You love feeling like you're in a community

I'm like babbs See you next week, Rass Cookers Beings Yes and Ducko Welcome to Friday Welcome to Halloween team Whatever your Halloween looks like Maybe you're like us And you kind of forgot and didn't dress up

Maybe you're leaning all the way in Maybe you're trooperating this afternoon Or you're trying to keep all the lights off So no one knocks on your house You never know Whatever it does look like I hope it's wonderful. Love it or Hedle or everything in between.

Enjoy it. You know what I mean? Because you know, once today's over, Christmas time, it's a run to Christmas baby. Officially now I'll allow after today you to say, Merry Christmas. Wonderful. Yeah, yeah.

Well, all week we've been giving the Hunter Valley Gardens, Christmas light spectacular, so it's felt very festive. Hasn't it? Even though there's skeletons and dead things strung up all around the streets. Yeah, you get very scared by it. I don't care. Speaking of dead things, a resident dead guy, shy lord, he's on a cruise. The Slim Reaper.

He's been listening to the. show. I know he has. Have you had any feedback? No, no feedback. Yeah. I think the boss has, though. So, Bad's might have. Did he use up his $90 a day Wi-Fi on sending us a voice memo? If you missed it, hear it in the podcast. It was lovely to hear shy guys sounding.

I don't know, what time did you say it was sent? Like 1am. 1 a.m. Yeah. God, he's loose. He seemed very merry. Very merry. He'd been at the nightclub. Yes. The nightclub on board. Is there a good nightclub on board? Yeah, there is. He did sound drunk like I was.

He did he sound very chipper. Yeah, you never hear him like that. Unlike, he usually does in this room. Hey, you might not be getting Halloween candy, but you might go to Maccas this weekend. Oh, what a way to treat yourself. Yeah, and if anyone who said Maca's spicy isn't real spicy, Frank's red hot and Macas have gotten together to spice up the Mick Wings,

the McChrysper and the already mixed spicy burger with exclusive red hot sauce. Hurry though, limited time after 10.30, get in while it's a spasia. Yes, thank you very much. As we've touched on, another big week next week. Yeah, we got tickets to some old-school singer. I don't know who it is. I can't... Ricky.

Ricky Martin will be on the show, Asterix, if we get an interview, but we definitely have tickets. Yeah, yeah, tickets next week. I trust you, Babs, to get me Ricky Martin. I believe in your ability. Yeah, I might as well get the Pope too. Sorry, have you put the Pope and Ricky Martin? I'm not mad about it. He's the one on the Pope.

You put them on the same level. The Pope's more getable, I reckon. I think so. Well, I've DMed Ricky. Oh, here you go. So, standby. Good luck seeing him in Melbourne this weekend. Thank you.

I am popping down to Melbourne. Childless, husbandless. It's me and my mum going to Ricky Martin. All right. You're trick or treating this afternoon. What does the rest of the weekend look like for the Duckman? My wife has a hens tomorrow, so I'm just solo daddying while she's at the hens party. Beautiful.

Getting very intoxicated, I'd imagine. Daddy daughter time. Daddy daughter time. Very good. But anyway, enjoy your weekends. Enjoy your Halloween. We'll see you. Monday. Bye-bye. Bye. I should be more ball aware.

Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas. Jess and Ducko. Turn it up Jess and Ducko in the morning Jess and Ducko in the morning.