Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I thought you meant drugs

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

We'll tell you how you can get back at your ex this V day, Ducko has an awkward encounter with a tradie and Shy Guy Dips is back for another week!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Hi everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Hi. Class is in session. Class is in session. Yep. What a day we have in store for you today. A great show. A wonderful show.

Yeah. Some great contributions, but we've had some feedback, Ducco. Oh yeah? Which I'd like to dissect with the team. On Wednesdays, we play a game called Say the Same. I described it as verbal snap. Luke got in touch on the text line, and we always say it's open. We say you don't need an invitation, whether it's to call, DM, or text.

Luke said, guys, really? This is a game? I think we should look up a definition of game. Now, I'm getting a sense Luke doesn't like the game. Yeah, it feels that way. Say the same, which I really enjoy, but I don't want to be upsetting. Is he saying it's not a game because it's just you and me trying to say the same thing as each other, so it's not really a game? Well, what's a game?

What's a game then? You can play Snap with just two people, so why can't we play Say the Same? If it's a quantity of person issue? How else would you describe it? I don't know. It's not a segment. Well, what is a game, Ducko? Luke maybe brings up a good point.

A game, according to the Oxford Dictionary. Here we go. An activity that one engages in for amusement or fun. Sorry, but if that's not our whole freaking show, I don't know what is. That's everything. Technically, the whole show's a game. I've engaged in, say, the same for amusement and or fun. Have you?

I have for amusement and or fun. Well, eager or willing to do. Oh, no, that's when it's an adjective. A game, that's what it is. I don't. Should I write back to Luke with the definition or is that pass ag? I don't want to be coming back at Luke with some rudeness. Yeah, like a Kendrick diss track.

Oh, yeah. We'll get him on air. Is he the Drake to our Kendrick? Yeah. I don't want to be having no beef with Luke. Yeah, I know. How deep are you going to go? I'm going to reply.

I'm going to say, Luke, I looked up the definition. Have you? I think what Luke's trying to say is he just doesn't like the game. I don't think Luke likes us. Yeah. If you're coming at us with that con attitude. He saved his number in there, though, and he's texted. So he must have texted her a fair few times.

Oh, yeah. He's obviously. I always like to go back to people like this and go, you've got something better. Yeah, yeah. What do you want to do? But that's like me saying, oh, I could write a song and then someone going, or I will do it. I actually can't.

Yeah, yeah. It's not nice. It's like, oh, I actually can't. Yeah, yeah, 100%. It's not nice. It's too hard. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Have we had any other game that cops complaints now is Year of the Song? Is Year of the Song, which, God, oscillates between hot and cold. It does, doesn't it? We had a very vocal hater of Year of the Song who completely flipped.

Yeah. Completely, but now in the DMs, people are going, Year of the Song is trash. Yeah. On the DMs, are they? On the DMs. Oh, we're getting that too. Yep, yep. I've had a DMs, people are going, year of the song is trash. Yeah. On the DMs, are they? On the DMs. Oh, we're getting that too? Yep, yep. I've had a few of those.

Back to hating year of the song. Oh, a grand total of three. Oh, still. Still. Well, they didn't hate it when it was at 8.40. That's the funniest part about it. This year, we've moved it an hour earlier. Okay, and now Say The Same has gone later in the show. That audience isn't liking it.

Whereas I feel like year of the song could live at 8.40 when we can make it go for seven minutes and not really give a fuck. And then Say the Same can go at 7.10. Okay. 7.10, 7.20 when it's a bit looser and fun and silly. Okay. You know? How do we feel?

I'm going to respond to Luke. Any thoughts on how to improve it? Should I go with that? Or is that still a pass ad? No, no. Don't open it up to him. Oh, we're not going to open it up. No.

Okay. I mean, you can reply to him. What do you want to say about it? Is he sassy? Thanks for the feed. Yeah, what are you? Just go, did you die? I think putting the definition of the...

Oh, you like putting the definition. Yeah, I can just literally just put a screenshot of that or just... I can't screenshot on this. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Just put the definition and say nothing else. How do we feel about... Hey, Lukey? Does Lukey make a jovial or does Lukey make a condescending?

I don't like that. Lukey! You don't like Lukey? My apologies. Thank you. I forgot, hey, Lukey? Does Lukey make a jovial or does Lukey make a condescending? I don't like that. You don't like Lukey? My apologies. Thank you. I forgot your name was Lukey. Yeah. I remember I called my cousin's husband Matty. Oh, Jesus.

He gave me a talking to. Matty. Didn't like Matty. See, I thought Matty's fine. You know what's funny? And he went into it. He's a shorter gentleman and he felt like Matty was making him like juvenile. I see.

It's Matthew. It's a complex. It's an inferior complex about being small. And he admitted that. He was like, I don't like it. He goes, would you want me to call you Jesse? I said, no, I wouldn't. Yeah, fair.

Matthew. Yeah. So, Luke, definition of a game. Yeah, Luke. What are you? Also, can we call you Lukey? Can we call you Lukey? Hey, Luke, feels like we've only got a certain amount of characters.

Yeah, yeah. Should we do? Should we do a segment where we open it up? Do you hate something? Tell us. We could just call Luke. Well, I hate anything in life. No, no.

From us. Just for constructive criticism. I don't know if you want to do that. It's contract year, Ducker. I want to make sure we're in the best shape possible. I don't know if you want to do that. That could end badly. Egos could be wounded.

That's very true. It's all well and good to get a text. Maybe you can call Luke off air. And record it. We need his permission to do that. No, you only need his permission to then play it. You can ask after the fact. So this call might be monitored or recorded for quality and assurance purposes.

Yeah, get Babs to be like that voiceover at the start. Hello, this is a survey for Jess and Ducko. This call may be recorded. You have put in a complaint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello. This is a survey for Jess and Ducko. This call may be recorded. You have put in a complaint. Yeah, that's fun. Babs' complaint line. Babs' complaint line. Fuck the blog off.

I want to hear complaint line handling because you're very good at handling complaints. Am I? Yeah, remember when Ducko pretended? Oh, yeah. You handled that beautifully. Remember that British guy called in

and was shit-canning the show? Yeah, that's true. You really got him. You did that so well Remember that British guy called in and was shit canning the show? Yeah, that's true. You really got him. You did that so well without crying. Yeah. You did it really well. She cried later. Yeah, I went home and cried.

As long as you don't cry in the workplace. Yeah, exactly. Call Luke, pretend to be a surveyor and drill down a bit more. Yeah, that's fun. Really get him. Really get him. Really get him. Hey, Luke, what do you think? Luke's probably just, you know.

Luke's listening to the podcast and going, um. Yeah, he probably is. 0-4-double-A-double-A-1-0-6-9, Luke. I actually do think Luke is a rice cooker. I think he's a fan. Yeah. He's won prizes before. I think he's played Alphabots.

Yeah, I think he's a bit of a fan. But he's coming for, so. Which makes me feel like if he doesn't like the game, it actually means more. Wow, that's very fair. As opposed to these nameless blow-ins who want to have a crack. Luke, actually, should we be taking the feedback on board? He's saved the same just fun for us and no one else. It's so much fun for us, though.

What do you reckon, guys? But then they'll come for everything. Oh, yeah. We can't just change. Like, Wordyokey is probably on the chopping block. Year of the Song, probably on the chopping block. Games that are strong, obviously, Alphabucks. I think Wordyokey, Shy Guy Dips.

I think they're going nowhere fast. But what's the difference between a Wordioki and a Say The Same? It's just amongst us. But I guess Wordioki in the car, it's fun because it's like you've got to try and sing the song. But you could play Say The Same with us. We had someone text last week going, oh, I said the same thing as Jess. It's also fun because people hear where we go with it.

Exactly, and more often than not, it ends up dirty, which is so much fun. It's also one of the biggest games on TikTok that all the... Yeah. All the youth. All the budget podcasters are doing. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. They are all doing it, aren't they?

They're all copying us. Oh. Yep. Oh, it's an interesting conundrum. Well, you know. But I do appreciate what you're saying. This is the problem with the text line. The weight of the complaint is more because Luke is obviously.

It feels like he's a rice cooker. Yes. Well, I guess we'll know after this podcast. I think we'll leave it. Yeah. Okay. We can't be bending just for one. No, no, no.

That's not to say please flood us with complaints. We could look at moving the time slot. Well, the reason we can't place it at the same. At 7.10 is because Sharky did. Correct. Exactly. So we'd have to swap it with something else. And remember we did it in the 6 a.m. hour and we had so much fun we went push her later.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't win. You can't win with anyone. No. It's tough, man. It's tough making three hours of content daily. We're just out here trying to give away Kylie tickets. Fucking grinding out here, babe.

Hey, how come we haven't been offered a Kylie interview? Well, we bought the tickets. Oh, I see. Cash money. Okay. They weren't given to us. I thought there was some sort of collaboration with, you know, we bought the ticket. Oh, I see. Cash money. Okay. They weren't given to us. I thought there was some sort of collaboration with the Padum camp. And I don't think Kylie's doing any press. No press.

Has she gone the way of Beyonce? She doesn't need it, man. She doesn't need it. She doesn't need it. She's just, yeah. Would you go to a Kylie concert? I absolutely would. I think her body of work is so broad that I would know so many of them. And I think she's just work is so broad that I would know so many of them. And I think she's just a great live performer.

And if there was an interview, it would go to a show in Melbourne. So rude. Not Sydney. Not with that attitude, Shaga. What have we talked about your attitude? We've talked about it. This is beyond me, though. This is politics.

I think you're bigger than politics and better. What's your dreams and aspirations in life, Shoga? Get rid of the politics A politics-less PM Wow, what does that even look like? I've often wondered if I could go into politics And just be like that loose politician Remember James Matheson from Australian Idol?

Tried to become a senator and he didn't I wouldn't be that straight up I'd just be like I'd get the young votes. Hey, Babs? Yeah, sure. What are you going to do to get the young votes? Yeah, what's your campaign platform?

Well, I won't be speaking about Snow White's apple, that's for sure. Why am I getting dragged into this? I'll be speaking about the Brat Summers. You know, let the kids party. I tried to talk about Brat Summer and you shot me down. So be very careful entering that because it's tumultuous water. There's sharks in that water. Let the kids party, man.

Let the kids just do what they need to do. Yeah, man. Pill testing. Pill testing at all festivals. Bring back festivals. Bring back festies. Spilled milk can't be the only festival. I know.

That's so true. Yeah, or country music festivals. Come on, just bring back a dance. I want to go dance. Hey, we've got nothing against country music festivals. They're keeping the economy afloat, right? I was really going to do it, baby. Paying my mortgage.

Let me do it. Yeah, I do wonder if I could go to politics. I'd hate it. Absolutely hate it. There's too much paperwork. Oh, my God. You would be so boring. You would hate it.

Imagine doing that. You would need a big team around you. Huge team. You guys could be my team. No, thank you. That would be fun. I'll give you a minister. What ministers do you want?

Let's say I'm prime minister. You can be the minister of anything. I'll take defence. That's a cool one to have. They have the biggest budget. They do have. Why do you buy 45 ships and two submarines? You'll have those deals going awry.

I don't want France's submarines. I want to take the British submarines. You are my Minister for Defence. Well done, sir. Welcome into the Cabinet. Good to be here. Over to you. Jess, what do you want to be? Minister of Food. There's Education. Jess, what do you want to be? What else is there? Minister of Food.

There's Education. Oh, I'll take Culinary Minister. Culinary Minister. No one better to do it. It is now. It is now, baby. Babs. What else is there?

You could be like, so like when Donald Trump's son was like the young person vote. That's like Babs. Oh, yeah. You're the conduit to the young person. I'm Baron. You're Baron. I'm Babsy Baron. We're going to make a great team.

Wow. But who's doing the paperwork? Sally. She's new. Jase will do it. You'll hear her in the show later. Yeah, Sally, our new receptionist will do it. We just need a paper pusher.

And then we run this place. Anyway, back to Luke. Welcome to Wednesday. Well, good morning. Oh, yeah. Feels good to be here. Feels great to be back, team. Not that we ever left.

That's right. Well, we went home and had a little rest. We did, yeah. We refueled, we recharged, ate a little dinner. Straight back here. We all went our separate ways. We did. And gosh, don't I just miss you.

As soon as we all exit these doors, I'm like, wish we could live together in a bubble. Could you imagine living together with this team? Would be a disaster. How long do you reckon we'd last? Oh, I don't even know if we'd last a night. Well, we'd knock it through the night. Yeah.

Yeah. I have a feeling Babs would be a sleep talker slash sleep walker. I just feel like we'd learn a lot about her. Just do some weird things. In the middle of the night. I feel like Babs would be like a dog with a zoomies every now and then. Like she'd go a bit little crazy. Absolutely.

She'd have a mini Magnum after dinner before bed and then just get that sugar here and be running around. You do that sort of stuff, Babs? A few weird things? No, not really. I reckon she's lying. Straight up fairy porn then, huh? Oh.

Yeah. I'm an angel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just retire to her quarters and read. Yeah. Yeah, I'm an angel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just retire to her quarters and read. Shy Guy would be very, you know. Oh, yeah, he'd be mysterious. Yeah, yeah, in and out of that room.

How big is this house that we're staying in? Oh, well, it's a three-bedder. You and Babs are sharing. Absolutely. Shy Guy would draw a line down the middle of his room, be like, this is my side, this is your side. We'd paint the wall and everything. Yeah, and all your stuff would have locks on it, I imagine.

When was the last time you had to share a bed with someone? Like a sleepover or like a, you know. For example, when I went to the Bucks party, when I go to the Bucks party, I share a bed with a grown man. And every time I do it, I'm like, God, I hate this. I like my own space. Or just, but you know, you sleep next, I sleep next to my wife, so I'm so used to that. Anyone else, you're like, this is weird. I know, because when anyone else, you go, stay on my side.

Yeah. I was probably at a box as well a couple of years ago. We should share a bed together one time. Nah. I see you being like a starfisher in bed, just in the middle of the bed. He'd be like a log. Oh, you're in the Dracula. In coffin position.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do start that way, but I wake up all over the place. I wake up sideways sometimes. Because you've got such long limbs. And you're naked as well. Yes. Well, speaking of long limbs. Not in hotels.

I'll keep underwear on in hotels. Well, you should wear shoes in hotel rooms, apparently. I read that article saying how gross the floors are. That's right. I think they've mopped. I just... Or vacuumed, hopefully. Surely.

Surely. Don't know. Even if they're vacuumed, they're only whipping over that loosely. Yeah, I don't think they're doing that much detail. They're not doing a steam clean. There's that many rooms. If you were a cleaner in a hotel, think about how hard good work is these days. That's what you should always think about when you ask for a late

checkout. The next person coming in after you, that window to clean that room and turn it over gets even smaller. Yeah. So don't be doing that. Yeah. It's a weird one. It is a weird one. Weird things happen in hotel rooms too. There's no rules. There's no rules.

People become creatures of themselves. The robes. If you go to a really nice hotel and you get a robe, that always wigs me out. I love a robe and I love a slipper. I don't use a slipper in my everyday life. But those just little, like the spa ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they're so flimsy, but I love them.

Wear those. I wear them down to the peel. I use, you know, now that we've moved away from the miniature bottles of shampoo and conditioner, I think a lot of hotels have gone more eco-friendly, so it's a big bottle. They just refill them. Big square bottle. You should see how much I use. I use the whole thing of shampoo.

You just keep going, oh, yeah. I'm like, it ain't mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to keep going. My hair's going to be so clean. I know. I think everyone's dude. Yeah, everyone tastes the little bottles.

Yeah, you've got to do that. I've got to build up with those. I used to work with an announcer as well. I won't say his name. How bad is this crime? It's not bad, but he used to bring Ziploc bags whenever we'd stay in a hotel to put the remote in. Why the remote?

Because apparently that's the most germy thing in a hotel room. Oh, hang on. So not to steal it. No, no, no. So to use it. So get into his hotel room, get a in. Get a Ziploc bag. So then you can press the remote by the Ziploc. Put it in the Ziploc bag and then you can use it freely.

But I feel like if you're that worried about germs, you need to be doing some other things. Like a shower handle. I would think you would never stay at a hotel. Yeah. Like I've got friends who are genuine clean OCD. Very, very. They just don't stay in those places. Or they go in with their own cleaning supplies.

Yeah. But the cleaners aren't cleaning their remotes. That's what I'm saying. They do it. You don't know it's annoying. How do you not know that? Maybe they are. I doubt it.

I highly doubt it. But it's like hotel TVs are so weird because they don't have any of the streaming services on them. So it's like you kind of can't get anything but free to air. And they're all weird numbers. They're all weird numbers. And you can barely sync your phone up. You have to do it through the Wi-Fi to put it on the screen.

But how good is it when you go to an Airbnb and the previous people have it logged out of their Netflix? And you've got every app. I'm like, thank you, Darren. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Suck it, Darren. I'm going to change your algorithm. Yeah, yeah.

All the time. You're going to have a lot of cartoons recommended once you get home. My biggest fear is when I leave an Airbnb going, I didn't log out. I'll message the host and say, I didn't log out of my like KO sports and something else. Can you please log out? Yes. Yes. Because you don't want your algorithm messed with.

I'm so scared. Are they going to change my password on me? Are they going to mess with the algorithm? Yes. It's a tough time, you know. Anyway. The joys of accommodation. Hey, speaking of accommodation, one of us is in a share house.

Yes. It's Babs. It is. It is. And I heard a story in the office yesterday that you didn't hear because you'd gone, I think. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's do this on the show tomorrow at 6.10. Hang on a minute. It involves Babs and some sewage.

Oh, God, these two words are synonymous. You cannot say the word sewage, poo or explosion without also saying Babs. I know. Are you telling me something's happened again? Oh, yeah, Babs. Oh, we've got to get her in here. You're making me out to be disgusting. No, no, you're just disgusting adjacent.

Yeah, yeah. You're just adjacent to always the grossness. I'm not. Well, we'll find out. We're getting her in. We're going to find out. It's a fatberg. Wow. We've got a find out. We're getting her in. We're going to find out. It's a fatberg. Wow.

We've got a berg. We've got a berg story. What a way to start. Mainly because she doesn't want to. Do it next. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Firstly, there's important business to be attended to.

I've missed the memo. Yeah. On another fatberg situation featuring the sweet angel that is St. Mary. Yeah. AKA Babs. I was just doing, you know, what I do. I was standing around yesterday shaking hands in the office, sending emails. Just wheeling and dealing.

Yeah, yeah. Just making sure everyone was doing their jobs appropriately. Keeping this bloody company afloat. Keeping this thing moving. And then Babs was annoyed that I was still there, but talking to Shy Guy. Oh, they would love it when we leave. Oh, they do. They would love it. I can tell they're awkward around me until I leave. I'm like, all right, there, but talking to Shy Guy. Oh, they would love it when we leave. Oh, they do. They would love it.

I can tell they're awkward around me until I leave. I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to go. And they're like, thank God. As much as we try to be their friends, they just keep us at arm's length. I noticed one of them didn't reply to your message about going to a festival together this weekend. Yeah, yeah, I know. I had to follow up directly with her. Oh, had that go?

Yeah, fine. But she was like, no, I'm not interested. I'm like, you couldn't have said that in the chat. I'm like, sorry. I'm going to take a free VIP ticket you couldn't have said that in the chat. I'm like, sorry. I'm going to take a free VIP ticket to a festival with my friend. Sorry my husband's trying to reach out. Don't you be acting all... What are you doing instead? Flustered.

I'm going to go see my mum and dad. I mean, they're there any time. How's this for one of the great, vague responses, Ducker? What'd she do? The shy guy replied very much like, sure. I just liked it. And then to be fair, he followed up privately. And said, you're keen? I said I was keen, but I have something else on.

So I just need to see if I can bring it. He wanted me to dangle a plus one for him to have his own. I'm like, all right. I'll have to pass. I've got fam stuff on. Oh, that is such BS. Is that not the biggest BS? Just say you don't want to go.

Yeah, why do you want to hang out with us? Bring Simone. Huh? What? No. Anyway, it's not about that. It't want to go. Yeah, why do you want to hang out with us? Bring Simone. Huh? What? No. Anyway, it's not about that. It isn't about that. Yeah, sorry.

Poor girl's getting berated. Now. See what happens? We've been speaking to, what's the housemate that you bullied? I did not bully her. Her mum got in touch with us and said, make sure you bully Babs back. Yeah, yeah. I jest.

We're permanently on your side. Okay, thank you. But what happened yesterday? Well, it wasn't yesterday. It was a running thing all week last week. I had some toilet issues. Oh, no. At our one toilet that we have in our house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I just went as per usual the other day and it just wouldn't flush. Remember that? Remember she blocked it the other day? That's right. And we were debating, are you laying too much toilet paper to muffle the sound? What's going on? Yeah, so then I freaked out, and I was putting the hot water down.

That's right, you boiled the kettle. And you said that worked. It did work, but it took a long time, and I was like, hopefully this doesn't happen again, because it took a while, and I was a bit worried about it. But no one else was saying they were having toilet issues, so I was like, okay, maybe it's something I'm doing. I'm obviously not using too much toilet paper. Are you using a bit? How much would you say you're using? Well, it's something I'm doing. I'm obviously not using too much toilet paper. Are you using a bit? Like how much would you say you're using?

Well, it depends what I'm doing. Will you lay a bed out on the water? No, no, I don't. How many wipes do you need to feel confident to go about your day? Because I use a bit of toilet paper as well. Maybe like four. Four scrunches. Yeah. But maybe my scrunch is too much.

I'd be four to six as well, I reckon. Wow. But I mean, I'm in the IBS realm with Babs. But also, you get a bit self-conscious being in a share house. You don't want to pee your undies or anything. Just deal with it. You don't want to leave with a schmear. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then, so then you've done that. You thought it was clean. Then what happened? Well, then everyone, it kind of went back to normal for a little bit. And everyone was like, there's nothing wrong with the toilet i was like there is i've just so you brought it up yeah on table and everyone's like oh it'll be fine like we don't need to call anyone and i was like okay and then i went again and it happened again and so i was panicking and then i was like what happened so when you flushed as i do that terrifying

how many flushes do I have before it overflows? Yes, and I would wait until it could slowly drain and then I would flush it again, but nothing was happening. And then you just left, you know when all the water does go and you're left with that disgusting moth of TP. It was disgusting. And then our drain started

making weird noises in the shower. It was just like, it was a whole thing. How dense is your excrement? It is just a burrito from Guz shower. It was just like, it was a whole thing. God, how dense is your excrement? It is just a burrito from Guzman. It's just a dense chicken burrito. Bonk. No. But like, yeah, in solid form.

Oh, yeah. Like as a burrito, the rice would, you know, scatter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't sound like anything. It wasn't me. It was the toilet. But then we had to get a plumber to come in. And they couldn't come until Saturday.

Get this though, what did the plumber say? He said, I can't fix this, I need another man and I need a big machine. I need to bring in reinforcements. I've actually got audio of Babs' plumber because I know the company. That's a huge bitch. Oh my God. Fatberg. As someone who has done work experience Work experience With Hunter Waterducko

And seen a Fatberg First hand I've seen a real Fatberg Those things are disgusting What was the What was the Fix What do you do

Do you have to put Dynamite in there You've got to blow that thing up You've got to break it You've got to move out So what do they do What is it They have cameras

Down your pipe What are two men Going to do One holds the other By the ankle so he can really get in there. It wasn't that bad. I don't think they needed two people. Hey, hey, who's the professional here? What did that guy teach us?

Not chippy, not sparky. Shit fiddler. Shit fiddler. That's the problem. The shit fiddlers need to fiddle. They came and sucked it out with the machine. It smelled so bad in the house. I was just sitting there.

I was like. Is he trying to say. You like the smell of your own brand. Don't lie. This is magic. Also, it wasn't me. It was everyone else too. No, but the one left holding the steaming pile is the one who obviously gets

It was a bad weekend. I had to go to the gym to go to the toilet. Wow. And I didn't even want to go. That's the other thing. So she's been for a week. She's been going to the gym to go to the toilet. Wow. And I didn't want to go. That's the other thing. So she's been for a week, she's been going to the gym to go to the toilet because their toilet's been broken for a week. And we didn't know about this.

For a whole week she hasn't told us. We bring back the question of friendship. I know. I have two toilets in my house. You have two. You're actually relative. Oh, I'm never letting Babs shit in my toilet. Also, Jess would be sitting outside the door going like.

I'd be filming it and recording it, obviously. Jess and Ducko. Charlie XCX. It is Apple. She's sitting outside the door going like... I'd be filming it and recording it, obviously. Charlie XCX, it is Apple. Hit breakfast with you. Charlie was just actually playing in Sydney, wasn't she? That's right, Laneway Festival. For more reports, super brat. Slade?

She absolutely slayed. For more reports, super brat. Sorry, I just missed that coming out of your mouth. I know you were trying to do two things at once. I want to wash your mouth out with soap right now. She sent it and fed it. What else is there to say about it? No cap. She was brat.

She had that apple and she ate that apple. Hell yeah. She was just, yeah. She went all Snow White on that apple. What does that mean? You know, Snow White ate the apple. Oh, I thought that was like another youth language. Get up with it.

Get up with my Disney language. Play the niche thing. How is that niche? Everyone knows Snow White. Because no one got it. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. No, I thought you were talking about drugs.

To be fair, I was like, is this some young, I don't understand. Snow White. She went all Snow White up on that. I'm like, Snow White overdosed? What happened here? Snow White ate the apple like, is this some young, I don't understand. Snow White. She went all Snow White up on that. I'm like, Snow White overdosed? What happened here? Snow White ate the apple. That's what put her in the coma. You're going from Charlie XX to Snow White.

Because we're talking about Apple. Apple. So that's the first thing you went to. You went to Snow White. When I say Apple, what's the first thing you think of? Granny Smith. I didn't have a reference for Granny Smith. Did I?

I had a snowman. Yeah, we're here because of Drake. Drizzy. Oh, oh, oh. Public enemy number one. Yeah, Drake v. Kendrick. As we know, the Super Halftime Show happened, and Kendrick pretty much did it all as a final sort of nail in the coffin

to Drake. They hate each other for multiple reasons. Yeah, yeah. It's a long-running feud. I had my PT running me through the genesis, and I still can't quite work out why they hate each other. It's quite basic, isn't it? But there's been a lot of diss tracks back and forth,

but you're right. Kendrick's Super Bowl performance, holy moly, was one big F you to Drake. So Drake is currently, and people are joking that Drake came to Australia to do this show when he knew Kendrick was doing the halftime show in America. He's like, what's the furthest country I can put a show on so I don't have to be around it? But I think Drake forgot about the internet.

Yeah. He can't be escaping this stuff. There's footage of his entire crew watching at the Melbourne Star Casino, watching Kendrick's halftime show. He's going to see it. You've got to know what you're up against. You've got to know what you're up against. Could they not have done that in a hotel room, though?

Did they have to be out? I know. I know. I saw fans of Drake's chanting Not Like Us as well when he was going to his concert. up against. Could they not have done that in a hotel room, though? Did they have to be out? I know. I know. Anyway, anyway. I saw fans of Drake's chanting Not Like Us as well when he was going to his concert. But poor Drizzy must be feeling the heat. Yes. Because he's on the losing end of it.

He is right now. Yep. People love to hate him. There's a couple of things he's doing, though. One of them I really wanted to dig down on. Apparently, he's paying fans at shows as well. Yeah, what's his show, I go? So, the same day of, so the Monday night was the Super Bowl day for us, that show that night in Melbourne, he was buying fans who were holding up signs,

giving them cash, buying them dinners, doing various things. So I've got some audio here. So I can't see who's holding that Adonis sign, though. Can't see. Oh, I see you. I see you right there. Okay. All right, well, we'll start here with you because you're showing a lot of love to my son.

Well, on behalf of me and my son, we're going to give you $25,000 for your family. Pardon moi? He's just going to give $25,000. Large cash amounts, paying for dinner. $25,000. Offering people to come back to the next show. Yeah, yeah. It's one thing for him to buy me dinner.

It's another thing for him to give me $25,000. Well, he must be reeling. He must be upset because everyone loves Nando's, right? Chicken Nando's with the booze. We love a chicken Nando's. Drake ordered $2,651 from Nando's to be delivered to his show. To the show so everyone could enjoy it together. No, just for him and his team.

At the Rod Laver Arena. So everyone could enjoy it together. No, just for him and his team. At the Rod Laver Arena. Wow. When you are on Uber Eats, can you put like a stadium as your delivery destination? I guess you can. So he had someone come out to Rod Laver Arena and grab it for him. It got hand-delivered directly into the stadium. Wow. So he ordered around 11 p.m.

When his set came to a close, the Nando's was ready. I've tracked down the order. I was about to say, that is a lot of tenderloins. So do I. It's a lot. Okay, so there was 60 Perenets classic chicken wraps. Oh, we love a wrap. Okay.

So we've got 60 wraps. Yeah. And also an entree. How big is his freaking team? They can't be that big. Surely. 20 large peri-peri chips. Obviously, that's a must.

That almost doesn't feel like enough. It doesn't. If you've got 60 wraps, I think we need more chips. I feel like you do need to. Yeah. 15 whole chickens. That feels good. That feels solid.

That feels solid. See, Jess is a good person to ask about this because we know she- I feel like Jess has ordered 50 chickens. Yeah, yeah. I feel like this is just

Jess's Uber Eats order. When we do book club and we order from our chicken shop, people always go, can you check over this? I went, double it. We went to have a pizza at her place the other day.

It was like four of us. I think we had six pizzas. I was like, we're going to roll out of here. Dago's eyes literally went wide and went, how many people? What are we doing? I like to have the leftovers. He also got

30 garden salads. No offense to Nando's, their garden salad is trash. It's so bad. Don't put a whole freaking cherry tomato in a salad. You pierce that thing, it explodes. Sorry, I'm not... It's not a big deal. Did you hear that voice change?

Did you see the computer shut down again? Yeah, you hear a dip into an accent. That's silly. He should have got the spicy rice. Did he get the spicy rice? He got eight cents of ribs. He did. He got 30 orders of spicy rice.

Good. And $156 worth of condiments. Which is just sauces, right? Just sort it in a little 50 cents each or something? Creamy chip dip, mayonnaise, maybe a couple of condiments. Which is just sauces, right? Just sort of in a little 50 cents each or something? Creamy chip dip, mayonnaise, maybe a couple of the bottles, so you could do a hot or a medium. He's obviously got the hot. He'd be a lemon herb guy, Drake.

He would be. He'd be a lemon herb. Kendrick's probably new track is about him being a lemon herb guy. So anyway, Jess, it made me think of you. I am not a huge Drake fan, Ducker. I don't love his music. Obviously don't know the guy personally. But this is making me...

Now you're Team Drake. Between 25 grand to random people in his crowd and a solid order at Nando's. Do you reckon he's done that for his team though? Because his team's now like, should we go Team Kendrick? And he's like, I'll buy you guys Nando's. You want 30 Peronais wraps?

Can I win you over with a chicken wrap? You got my vote, Drake. You're in. You got my vote. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass. Of course, we come back to you if there is time. It is yet to go off this year. What are we, Feb 12? Very upsetting. We've had a month on air and nothing.

Last year, Shy Guy did the maths. We gave it away eight times. We play every single day twice a day. Ridiculous. And now this year, you know, we've tried. We're giving couples a chance at 8 o'clock for two minutes to work together. Just not working. Not working.

So we go to Amy today. Amy's going to turn the tides. Good morning, Amy. Good morning, guys. How are you going? Mate, we're so good. Amy, is today the day? Are you like, let's right this wrong?

I don't know. I hope so. Come on. Not with that attitude, Amy. Come on. We believe in you. Thank you? I don't know. I hope so. Come on. Not with that attitude. Yeah. Come on. We believe in you. Thank you. I'm very nervous.

How do you normally go when you're playing? Look, when I'm on my own in the car, it's a lot easier. But when you're on the phone and you're under the pump, it's a bit harder. So, yeah, I'm a bit nervous. Let's do some visualisation. Okay. You're just in your car. It's an average Wednesday.

You're not actually on the phone with us. Oh, amy and amy you know just amy playing against amy it's just amy playing against amy so when you hear that timer that's just what you hear every time no pressure what's motivating you today what do you want to spend the money on well we are saving for a new pergola out the back and some other house renovation stuff so So, yeah, it would be pretty handy. Do it for the pergola. Do it for the pergola. I wish I could say your letter was P for pergola. That'd be nice.

But it's T for tent. Tent. P for tent. That's what you will be in if you don't win. That's right. You can't get the structurally sound pergola. You'll have to just pitch a tent. Pitch the tent up.

Okay. All right. Okay. Come on, Amy. Your time. T's solid, man. There's a lot of words. Good. Good letter., Amy. Your time. T's solid, man. There's a lot of words. Good.

Good letter. Good letter. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter T, we need you to name. An animal. Tiger. A boy's name. Tom.

An electronics brand. Ticker. A rapper. Pass. A clothing item. T-shirt. A rapper. Pass. A clothing item. T-shirt. A condiment. Tomato sauce.

A director. Oh. Tim Burton. A horror movie. Pass. A Mexican food. Tacos. A board game.

Trouble. A Mexican food. Tacos. A board game. Trouble. A racquet. Holy moly. You were a player, Amy. God, you were good, Amy. You were lying to us. Who is a racquet? T-Pain.

T-Pain. Or Travis Scott is what we were looking for there. I was never going to get those. A horror movie. Yeah. Could you go back now and get that? No, I don't like horror movies. Literally anything with the shining, the exorcist.

Oh, my God. The counts for tea. Yeah. That's tough. She's probably had that before, I think. Really, some really good gets in there, though. Tim Burton for director. Take a bow.

No one gets director. I know. Edward Scissorhands. And I don't even know, was the electronics brand even right? I don't even know. Tika is a brand. They make ovens. I thought it was. There you go. I thought it was a brand. I just didn't know, was the electronics brand even right? I don't even know. Tika is a brand. They make ovens. I thought it was a brand.

I just didn't know if it was electronics. But I had a question. I shouldn't want to rain on your parade like that, you know? Oh, my God. So you got yourself eight. You only passed on two. You probably would have, I don't know if you would have got T-Pain, I guess. So eight out of ten is not bad.

$100 to spend, though, at Budgie Smuggler. That is all yours. Oh, awesome. Thank you so much, guys. Thanks, honey. Thank you for joining the show and showing us how it's done. Yep. That was very impressive.

A clinic. A clinic. You must have just watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah. Or Edward Scissorhands. Who has Tim Burton top of mind? I know. Edward Scissorhands.

What a film. Yeah. I'm surprised at myself, to be honest. Sweeney Todd. Anyway, I'll stop listening to Ed's catalogue. Thanks, guys. All right. Thanks, Amy.

Tim. Thanks, Amy. Jess and Jocko. You know I'm not a handy person. No. I'm handy with a microphone. Just unfortunately, my microphone's on a hammer. Different tools.

Yeah, different tools. That's so true. What do they say? Different strokes for different folks. Different tools for different folks. Oh, there we go. Come on. Let's get out of here.

See? Good with the mic and words. So we've had our three doors at our house have like busted up either locks or handles, right? The handle's like slipping. And so it doesn't catch. The bathroom door just always blows open. It doesn't stay shut.

And the front door was the same. The lock was starting to not catch. And Morgan's like, we really need to fix it. She keeps saying it. Of all the doors to have a bit of a glitch, you don't want the front door. Or the bathroom door. To be fair, the front door, obviously, but the bathroom door, like people in there doing business. Do you not have open door policy?

Well, it doesn't matter. It was just me and Morgan, but we had about six people stay at our house over Christmas. And they'd be there doing their business and the door would blow open. You and your wife. But if your father-in-law's trying to, you know, utilise your squatting body, maybe he deserves a minute's peace. I told you about him asking what that was. He came out holding it. He's like, what is this?

What do you do with this? I was like, put your feet on it and feel it flow, baby. And he's a long man. It'd be good to get his legs some elevation. Much better for the aerodynamics. Absolutely. So Morgan kept bringing it up to me. We didn't take this fix.

And I knew, like, obviously it falls in my jurisdiction. And I was like, yeah, I'll sort it out. And in my head, I was like, I think, I reckon I can do this. Where does your mind even think to start? I don't know. I got my, like, Kmart toolkit out. I, like, opened it up. Toy one.

I got, like, a screwdriver out. I looked at it. I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. This is banging me. I guess I could tighten or loosen something with this. Hope one of those is the problem. I just wanted to do it in front of Morgan to show that I tried. Do you even know, do you have to think about where your toolkit is?

You're like, where did I put that? Honey, where's the toolkit? So I couldn't do it myself. I was like, I don't, I mean, it wasn't obviously very hard, I suppose, but I was, so I put it on Air Tasker. Where I go to get all my tradies. How much did you say you would charge? Who do you get for someone like that to change a couple of locks?

Oh, I've got no idea. I don't know what to do. I was one step away from ringing your husband. I was about to say, Angus is my go-to. I'm probably not going to do that because he's busy. I don't think it's a carpenter territory, but who does doors? Handyman. Is doors a trade?

It's not its own trade. Is it a builder? Is handles part of doors? I don't know. Is handles part of doors? Is Is doors a trade? It's not its own trade. Is it a builder? Is handles part of doors? I don't know. Is handles part of doors? Is it a locksmith? That's what I was thinking. I did wonder if it was a locksmith.

I wasn't sure. But are they just locks, not just doors? So I put it on AirTask. Yeah, yeah. I charge $140. All right. Three new doors and three locks. Because now you're saying the word.

I don't know if that's too expensive. Three new doors. I've no idea. It's not new door, is it? Sorry, no. New handles. Handles and locks. Because now you're saying the word- I don't know if that's too expensive. Three new doors. I've no idea. It's not new door, is it? Sorry, no, new handles. Yeah, yeah. Handles and locks. Yeah.

This one guy- I've got no idea what the going rate is. Neither do I. I've no idea what to do. And this one guy comes over. It's that awkward moment and he's in my house and you've been to my house. The living room is pretty central. It's an open plan living.

It's a pretty open plan. So then he's- Wait, do you- On Airtasker, I've never used Airtasker. Yeah, I use it all the time. Do you go through like credentials or is it just some bloke saying I could do this? It's fast and loose. And you go, sure, come into my home.

You get blokes message you going, hey, take this off Airtasker so they don't take your clip and we'll message directly. And I'm like, this feels dodgy, but I'm going to do it anyway. I thought you were saying blokes are messaging you being like, this is embarrassing for you to take it off Airtask. What are you doing, you idiot? No, I do it like someone to clean the gutters because I don't have long enough ladder. Yep.

I've got a pitched roof. Also, they have to bring their own equipment. Oh, yeah, they do it and bring it all. And you just usually get people who have a company and they come and do it as well. Oh, little cashies. Some tradies hate Airtask, which I also understand. Yep. But man, like I said, when I needed the locks done, I didn't know who to go to.

Sure. This guy comes over and there's that awkward moment where he's there doing it. And like, I try and make myself look useful in the situation, but like, what do I do? Do you offer them lemonade? Like, how are you useful in this situation? I was just standing up, like, arms folded, just like leaning against the door, being like, yeah, so anyway.

I tried myself, but I just couldn't seem to. And I could tell he's just like, shut up. Shut up. Just be quiet. I'm here for the cash, but I will judge you. Yeah. Then he gets to the awkward moment. He's like, what are you doing with yourself?

I'm like, breakfast right here. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. He's like, oh, okay. And then Morgan comes home and sees him doing it. And there's just nothing. Were you watching what he was doing? Did he have to take the whole thing off?

Or was he just. Yeah. And he had to go get new parts and come back. And he did a great job. He's a lovely guy. But then I said, I get bored. It's one thing to supervise. I'm bored now.

But I'm seeing literally like, do I watch TV? Do I... You can't watch TV while he's two feet away from you fixing your doors. You know what I did? You've got to make chit chat. You know what I did? I pulled my laptop open and pretended to be doing it. Do, do, do.

Buy, sell, sell, buy. Jess and Ducko. I don't know about this internet, Ducko. We're giving voice to some people who maybe shouldn't be allowed. That sounds like the internet's whole shtick. I can't believe what I'm seeing here. I was going to say our friends at BuzzFeed,

but they've allowed this to become a list. The award for the most boring city. They've polled some people. And New South Wales does not come off well. Boring! Onyx. We feature in like six of the spots.

Really? Six of the spots of the top ten. What's the criteria? Just people having said, I went there once and it was dull. Oh, I see. So we'll quickly run through non-New South Wales towns. Only one or two from Queensland, Ducko.

Ipswich. Someone said Ronald McDonald is the only person awake after nine o'clock in this place. A few people who like eyes. The other one from Queensland. Brisbane! How dare you not be home? Not The other one from Queensland. Brisbane. You're home town.

How dare you. Not me home. Not Prince Vegas. Easy place to live, but there's nothing that'll bring you here or keep you here, says this one visitor. This was like a tourist who came and a couple of cities he found dull. So we asked the intern. To be fair, I grew up there, so it's my home.

So I always love it. But if you were to go there, it's not as good as a Melbourne or a Sydney. You know what I mean? Funny you bring up Melbourne and Sydney. They both feature on this list. People have come from the internet. Melbourne, it's one of those places that has great hype, but you get there, just a couple nice restaurants.

I feel that. I feel that. I have no soul connection to Melbourne. I don't think Melbourne is boring. I think it's pretentious. That's the difference. But Sydney... The people there. The people there. COVID did a number on them. Sydney!

Sydney's also on the list. It says COVID killed half the good clubs. Apparently. Hang on, there's a good pastitsi bar. Oh, yeah, that's keeping Sydney afloat. That is for the Maltese community out there. Great pastry, the pastitsi. I'm going to write this down. Sorry.

Pastitsi bar. Canberra. I think we all expected that to be on the list. 100%. What do you do there? When you invent a city because you can't decide between Melbourne and Sydney, which should be the nation's capital, it's already, it's born from false pretense. You know what I mean?

But let's get, Adelaide's also on here, but I think we could have guessed that. Check this out. We've got from New South Wales, Goulburn. How dare you? Goulburn is fantastic. Someone said, actually, it's the eighth wonder of the world. It is the only hole above ground. How dare you?

How dare you, anonymous person on the internet? Is this multiple people or one person? I don't know how BuzzFeed has collated this, but the fact that this is a top ten, I'm assuming there was a voting system. Had to have been. Top ten most boring. Most boring. We don't like this one. Home to our favourite RSL.

Wagga. Wagga's on the list. They didn't go to the RSL. Someone said it's a great place to raise a family, partially because of how boring it is. Nothing happens there. How can you? What are you judging us?

I want to know the criteria. The most exciting thing to happen here was that a chocolate cafe opened up. How dare you? Have they been to the Mardi Gras? How dare you, anonymous person? Another person, we don't care for this, Newcastle. City is like a retirement village. How dare you?

There are young, youthful people like Babs here. Someone's been to the East End. How dare you? They're all good. Some people like Babs here. Someone's been to the East End. How dare you? They're all good. Some complaining people there. I don't like how many. We, New South Wales cities, outnumber. Also, did they not see the beautiful coastline?

Thank you. What else do you need? What I say to this list and to the BuzzFeed people who can figure it out. Get in the bin. Get in the bin. Who was number one? Yeah, who was number one? Well, it was just sort of like the people who had voted.

Oh, okay, yeah. I was riding that, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a port. It was a port, but I don't want to even... Who is it? It was Wagga, but I don't want to give that any breath. Oh, my dear.

We all have that. Our dear author. Let's get him on. 100%. I didn't even want to give that any oxygen. What are they expecting when they're going to regional towns as well? What more do you want? What did you want?

Yeah. But if you're also lumping in all the capital cities, no one's safe. Yeah, no one's safe. No one's safe. Just stay home, I say to you people.

Yeah, yeah. Boo hoo. Jess and Ducco. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you?

My milk, my milk, my milk. Shy Guy. I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's box. Oh, that could be you. That excitement could be you right here, right now. 13, 10, 60.

You want a fridge magnet? You want said packet of cereal or box of cereal? You've got to play. Do you want glory? This is an elite pool of people who can speak Shy Guyanese. Oh, yeah. Just decipher these weird and wacky clues and walk away with that absolute bevy of prizes. Yeah.

He is going to give us some clues. This is all K5. This is top secret. He's been followed in the supermarkets, he thinks. He's scared. He's feeling eyeballs on him. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to start changing up your local, too.

Oh, yeah. Because you've got to recognise at your local. Yeah, I did go to a different one. Good. I thought about this. We're going to have to go cross postcodes. We're going to have to get you a mask or something. I'm going to run out of Woolies. I love that. Yeah, I did go to a different one. Good. I thought about this. We're going to have to go cross postcodes. We're going to have to get you a mask or something. We're going to run out of Woolies.

I love that. Yeah, yeah. The next time he goes in wearing the Richard Nixon wax mask. Is he robbing us? Is he robbing us? No, no. It's just shy guy. It's just shy guy.

Could look more suspect, but you know. Could. All right. So, said clue. First clue, please, Mr. Guy. First clue. Four and a half stars. Oh, hell star.

Four and a half. That's big. That's a healthy one. So, it can't be, clue, four and a half stars. Oh, hell star. Four and a half. That's big. That's a healthy one. So it can't be, you know, any of Fruit Loops or Frosty Flakes. Four and a half. That's fantastic. Okay. 13, 10, 60.

Remember, first cab off the rank always gets another clue. That's right. How many people? I think we only had one last year who got it. Got it first. First clue. Yeah, but, jeez, that was a leap. It was a leap.

So that's even a smaller pool of people. It is. 13, 10, 60, you will get a supplementary clue. Yes, you will. And you get to have a lot of fun. And a fridge magnet. And a fridge magnet. Give us a call, 13, 10, 60, Shy Guy Ditch.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. Shy Guy Dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's box.

Box of cereal, that is. Hell yeah. Shy Guy's going to give us a series of clues. You can hear that rustling. He's opened. He's opened it. He's opened it. He's smelling it.

He's getting a whop in. A fresh bag of cereal. Oh, wow. How's that fresh baggy smell? I don't know how you'd, he's smelling it. He's getting a whop in. Oh, wow. How's that fresh baggy smell? I don't know how you'd describe that smell, actually. I'm going to struggle with that. I struggle with every other clue. You described that as four and a half star health rating. That's how you described that. It smells healthy. It smells. Well, hang on. Now we're just giving clues left, right and centre. Bonus clue. Tim, good morning to you. Tim, we've heard it's got 4.5 stars. I've just checked the box.

He ain't lying. But you get a supplementary clue, my friend. What have we got? You want to talk about the smell or you got something else for Tim? Okay, two words. Two words, Tim. Tim. Is it done right?

Ooh, that's a great guess. It is not. And that would be one of the more healthy ones. It would be. Tim's done all his work there, Tim. Thanks for playing. First player's always good. We go to Mel now on 131060.

Hello, Mel. Hi, how are you? Oh, Mel. Mel, could we be better? Come on. Could we be better? The question is, how are you, Mel? Oh, okay.

I'm going to work. All right. Well, let's make Mel's morning a bit better by giving her another clue and potentially a box of cereal. And? A fridge magnet. Wow. Yes. Well, let's make Mel's morning a bit better by giving her another clue and potentially a box of cereal. And a fridge magnet. Wow. Yes.

Mel, there's two things in this cereal mix. Two words and two things, Mel. What is it? Oh, I was thinking something else. All right, pivot. Pivot. I'm going to go with my original. Okay, don't pivot. Pivot. I'm going to go with my original. Okay, don't pivot.

All brand. That's another great guess. It is not that one. I don't know if there's two things in all brand. I think it's just all brand. Oh, it's just the real thing. I don't know. It's rabbit food.

I don't know what's in all brand. It's in the title, Mel. All brand. Nikki, we go to you, Nikki. Good morning on 131060. Happy Wednesday. Good morning. Oh, jeez. Nikki, good morning to you. We. Good morning on 131060. Happy Wednesday. Good morning. Nikki, good morning to you. We've heard it's

four and a half stars, two words and two things in the packet, but you get another clue. Would you say it smells earthy, Jess? Oh, 100%. I would say that smells earthy. Okay, it's part of the diva kingdom. Well, I'm going to change my guess to my original guess,

and I'm guessing Sultana Brand. What was your original guess, Nikki, if you don't mind? My original guess was Fruity Bites. Oh, Fruity Bites. Oh, yeah. I don't even know what Fruity Bites are. So she's done a late game pivot. You've done a late pivot, which is so hard to do in this game,

to listen and react. Like the Philadelphia Eagles, has it paid off? Or like the Chiefs? I don't know if they pivoted. I think they just did what they were doing at once. They just dominated. They just dominated. All right, well, has Nikki dominated?? Or like the Chiefs? I don't know if they pivoted. I think they just did what they were doing at once. They just dominated. All right, well, has Nicky dominated? You know who didn't pivot?

The Chiefs. Anyway, Nicky, you've won it! Yes! Now, Nicky, that's how you play the freaking game. That is how you do it. You take it all in. Yeah. Yeah.

Good job, Nicky. Wow, wow. You've got yourself a pack of Sultana brand. This is a giant. This is a 700 gram. It's a value box. It was on sale. Oh Wow, you've got yourself a pack of Sultana brand. This is a giant. This is a 700 gram. It's a value box. It was on sale. Oh, well, you've got to discount it.

Nikki, feed the family for a week. That's on us. Nikki, do you even like Sultana brand? Because you're getting a lot of it. Surprisingly, I do. Oh, there you go. And guess what, Nikki? The hot ticket item, you're getting a fridge magnet.

Oh, add to my collection. Yeah. Oh, what do you mean? Do you have other fridge magnets? Other fridge magnets. I was like, whoa, whoa. We can't be doubling up if you've already got a giant. Oh, add to my collection. Yeah. Oh, what do you mean? Do you have other fridge magnets? Other fridge magnets. I was like, whoa, whoa. We can't be doubling up if you've already got a giant. No, no.

Lots of magnets. Okay. Well, Nikki, before we let you go, we need a nice, clear, passionate, Hi, my name's Nikki, and I'm so excited. I just won Shy Guy's box. Hi, my name's Nikki, and I just won Shy Guy's box. No. We just need that. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Nikki and I just won Shy Guy's Box. No. I'm so excited.

I like the passion. The passion was strong. The passion was strong. We need some consistency. I'm so excited. Okay. Okay, ready? Hold on.

Rolling and action. I'm so excited. No. Hi, my name's Nikki and I'm so excited. I won Shy Guy's Box. Hold on. Ready? Three, two, go.

My name's Nikki. No. I'm so excited. want Shy Guys. All right, hold on. Ready? Three, two, go. My name's Nikki. No, don't. Hi, Nikki. Nikki. My name's Nikki. Hi, my name's Nikki. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. Here we go. And action. Hi, my name's Nikki. I'm so excited. I just want Shy Guys box. Yeah! Jess and Ducko.

So love is in the air, obviously, with V-Day week approaching. However you do celebrate or acknowledge or just give your partner a pat on the back and go, Hopefully you remember. Love ya. Hey, sweetie, love ya. Hey, sweetie, love ya. You don't need to do a big song and dance, but it's nice just to say. But maybe you haven't found the one. You are maybe reeling from a breakup.

And that's a hard week to be reeling from a breakup when there's all this lovely, dovey stuff in the supermarket and the shops. We're talking about it. You go, oh, my God, I don't like my ex. And it's so fresh in my mind. Maybe you need some sort of therapeutic way to process what's going on during Valentine's Day. Well, it's good that a couple of companies around the globe are offering you a way

to kind of get back at your ex around Valentine's Day. Companies always do this around this time of year, don't they? They do. They do. There's a tattoo removal company that is offering for this week only one free session. If you've had your ex's name tattooed on you, they're going, you know what, Valentine's Day special, first session free. Because you need like six or seven sessions. So they've got your business. But how nice to acknowledge that.

Start the process. You're staffed up. You know, I've got Angus's initials on my hip. But I was smart. I went initials. So I can always pivot around if God forbid the worst happens. Another organization is saying if you bring in a picture of your ex, you have to print it out.

Or maybe you've got a photo, take them off your bedside table. They've got a shredder sitting on the bar. And if you shred it in the bar, they'll give you a free drink. And at Hooters, if you do that, you shred it. Oh, we love Hooters. You didn't tell me we were ducking over to Hooters. We're going to Hooters. You didn't tell me we were doing that. They're offering a Valentine's Day special. What are they offering? For people bring in a photo of your ex,

shred it, free chicken wings on the house. See, that's probably the best one. What a way to lament the loss of a relationship by shredding a picture of them and getting some wings. Are people really that petty? Like, would Are people really that petty? Like, would you really care that much? You know what I mean?

Depends. It depends. On the circumstance. Depends on the circumstances. I was, I've broken up with a past couple, but an early relationship, he dumped me and I reckon I would. For some free chicken wings, I'd bring a picture of Dane in. You could also just pretend.

Dane called me dull. Dane called me boring and was like, I'm not, just not excited. I was like 19. I went, this should be an exciting time of our lives, Dane. What were you doing that was boring him? Also, your name's Dane. Well, yeah, Dane's a bad name. Obviously, it wasn't freaky like his last girlfriend.

I don't know. Another one. This is a cat cafe in the UK. You can go in and write your ex's name in the shop's kitty litter. So, you'll know every time that the cats in the cat cafe have to do their business. But see, like, what's that doing for you? You know what I mean?

Like, maybe you're... You're not getting anything out of that. Money raised goes towards a feline charity. Okay. So maybe it's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, all credit to the companies for making money out of this stuff. Totally, totally.

This one is hot off the press. As you can see, Babs has just run it in. Yeah, totally. This one is hot off the press. As you can see, Babs has just run it in. A zoo in the US is offering to send a video of an elephant doing a number two to your ex. So they'll film the elephant dropping a massive load. You give them your ex's

number and they just send it. They just flick him a text. He's just on behalf of Stacey. Maybe there's no context. So like, oh, maybe there's no context. Yeah. So they say, oh, 10 bucks as well. That's like, that's a pretty penny. So it's just like, we just need to make money.

We just need to make money. And if that's not your thing, there's a second option. They'll send your ex a video of a panda eating a grape. I don't know what you'd want. Maybe they're terrified of pandas. Well, here at Jess and Ducker HQ, we'll send a video of Shy Guy. You know what I mean? Shy Guy doing what?

I don't know. What can he be doing? What can he be doing? To get rid of the ex, get back at the ex. If you want to get back at your ex, we could send videos of Shy Guy. Eating cereal. Eating cereal. That's good.

Taking a deep whiff like he did of the Sultana branches then. Oh, it's just like a photo of him going, this is the man I left you for. Or like the man you told me not to worry about. That's a picture of the Slim Reaper. Yeah, jealousy. Oh, that'd be good. Oh, that's nice. Would you like that, Shoga?

Yeah, it'd be cheaper to get an elephant poo though. Oh. I charge a lot. I was going to say, that's $10. How much are you going to charge for the rice cookers? $20. Premium. Finally, you can also get a zoo to name a cockroach after your ex.

Oh, yeah. And they'll film them feeding that cockroach to a bigger animal. Once again, that's just one video, I reckon. I didn't know it was going to say video on the move. Hey, you'll like this. To a meerkat. Oh, yeah. It'll serve the bug to a meerkat.

That'll be fun. You have to watch a meerkat. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Brandon. Bye, Brandon. Enjoy my meerkat eating you. That's right. Yeah. Bye, Brandon. Enjoy my meerkat eating you. That's right. Yeah.

And then Brandon will go, thank God I left her. She's crazy. Jess and Ducko. Thought this could be a bit of fun. Heard it yesterday and it sparked my interest. What do you think is the ultimate act of friendship? You heard it, Ducko, or you're on the receiving end of the ultimate act of friendship? Well, I heard someone having a discussion about it.

I'm talking these little things that no one wants to do for anyone, but you do it, i.e. picking someone up from the airport or dropping them to the airport. You know that's bad for you. There's nothing in that for you, but it's the ultimate act of friendship. When a friend picks you up or drops you to the airport. Anyone come to mind who's done that for you, Duckman? Yeah, you've done it for me.

I have done it for you. Okay, this isn't just going to be about you. Well, what happened yesterday that maybe sparked this conversation? Because when I saw this on your ideas, on our little email that we send each other at night saying, hey, maybe we could talk about this, I thought he appreciates me and that's all that I do it for, Ducko. It's all that I do. She really chooses her own narratives and things, doesn't she? Hey man, you brought this up. What happened yesterday? So organic now. Now Hey, man, you brought this up. What happened yesterday that you... So organic now.

Now I don't want to bring it up. No, bring it up. Bring it up for the people. So yesterday, I had to get my car serviced, but I superbly booked in both cars with the one. One fell swoop. Get them serviced at the same time. Feels good in theory.

It does. And it's good now. I've got them done. But the day of, it's like, okay, how are we going to do this? Because my wife would normally drop me there and pick me up, whatever. So then Jess offered and said, do you need me to give you a lift home from the car service? Which is one of those jobs where it's like, it's a shitty job. It's not a hard job.

It's not a hard job. No one's saying it's a hard job. But it's a bad job. It's a bad job. And I love that you told the story accurately, offered. You didn't have to ask. No, I didn't ask. Because I knew when you said you and Morgan were doing it, I went, hang on.

Now my buddies are going to be stranded. And you did pick us up with Lucia in the car. Oh, that's the other thing. That's the other layer of complexity to me. And then Lucia cried when we got out of the car. She did. She loves seeing her Uncle Ducko and Auntie Morgan. And Morgan was being very sweet in the back, helping her with the dummy and all that.

I went, as literally as soon as you guys got out, she burst into tears. I went, that's actually really sweet. So that, to me, I was like, that's an act of friendship. Well, can I return serve my brother? Yeah, absolutely. I had to go get my eyebrows done. This was a few weeks ago. Who did I call to sit quietly in my house?

Because I can't leave the baby unattended. The dog's not quite up to babysitting. Yeah, yeah. I thought, my pal Ducko, he's not doing anything at 2 p.m. Can you come over and sit quietly with the baby? And she woke up and it wasn't quiet. And that's right. You can't always guarantee she'll sleep through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she didn't. You had to deal with a screaming toddler. Babysitting toddlers. That's another act of friendship. Because babysitting newborn, there might be some newborn parents out there being like, don't be saying that. Toddlers harder.

They are busy. Busy. Busy and active. Busy. Yeah. So it's those things that we're talking about. Not massive things. They're not massive.

Just enough to go. It's not like Selena Gomez's bestie who gave her a kidney to help treat her lupus. Boring. Hey, if you've got one of those, that's wonderful. We'd like to hear it. But we're talking about the mundane moving house. Moving houses. Particularly if they offer.

If you've got a mate who says, yes, I will dedicate my Saturday to picking up your fridge, your mattresses. Oh, that's the worst. Helping you dump the cutlery drawer. Oh, it's the worst job. There's nothing in it for them. Absolutely nothing. Maybe a slab of beer.

Even then though, I'll get you some beers. You never get them. You probably never get them. They never come. Because they slab of beer. Even then though, I'll get you some beers and you never get them. You probably never get them. They never come. Because they've moved now. They're done. Shaga, do you have one for friendship? No. Okay. That's sad.

I've helped pick up friends forever. I've done to Sydney airport. That's a trip. That's a two hour. That's huge. I've done that. That's a round trip. That's big. Babs, you've got one with the Brat Pack? Yeah, when you're at a club or out at the pub, and your friend needs to go to the toilet, but you don't, but they need you to go with them,

and then they're in there for like 20 minutes, and you're just missing out. And you don't want to be there. But you know what? That is ultimate. Because, ladies, we do not go to the bathroom solo. It's not a solo adventure. Never fly solo. You've got to take a buddy.

Babs, did you ever do this as well, staying with the Brat Pack? Your friend's being hit on at a dirty club by a dirty bloke, so you swoop in and act like they're their girlfriend. You put your arm over them, being like, honey, are you okay? Like, you know. Or like you act like you're with them. You're trying to act like you're with them. Wait, what?

That explains. I have 100% done that. 100%. Oh, God. I wish I knew that a decade ago. Hey, man, if you've got to make done that. 100%. Oh, God. Jeez. I wish I knew that a decade ago. Hey, man, if you've got to make out to really sell the story, you make out. You do what you've got to do.

Friends who hook up. Okay. To get these creepy blokes away from you sometimes. Yeah. That's what we're talking about right now. That's right. 13, 10, 60. What's the ultimate act of friendship?

Maybe you've done it. Maybe a friend just did it for you. Yes. And maybe you could reward them with going to Kylie. Ultimate act of friendship. Wow. It's like when people win, you know, entry to our lunches or something. They go, I brought my friend.

I brought my friend. Yeah, yeah. That's a pretty great act. Yeah. And usually they're like, I'm not a listener. I don't listen to radio. Like, okay, I don't care for you. Okay, cool.

You can shut up. I've got to work on converting you now, don't I? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Yeah, we're talking ultimate acts of friendship. That's right. And we're not talking Selena Gomez and her bestie level of, you know, giving a kidney to one another.

No. But, hey, if that's what you've experienced, that is a pretty ultimate act. We're talking about the humdrum, mundane, pretty boring tasks that you know. I'm just going to help my mate out, though. I'm just going to help my mate. I'm moving. Moving house. Picking up from the airport.

The car service drop-off and pick-up you did to me yesterday, which was fantastic. You sitting quietly with my daughter while I got my eyebrows waxed. Yeah. Like, these are the things where you go, there's nothing in this for me, but I'm going to do it because I'm a good mate. We had someone texting on the text line 048881069, giving your mate toilet paper when there's none left. And they text you, and then you've got to run it in. Do you know how many times I've texted Babs being like, help. And she's like, you're on your own.

Yeah, she doesn't want to come in there. No, no. But if I'm getting hit on by a creepy dude, she'll come and pretend to be my girlfriend. Oh, she'll be there for you. It's different. Come on. Shy Guy gave us a great one. Couldn't think of it when we asked him.

But he just ran in being like, no, I am a good friend. Yeah. Is he out there or should I say it? He's leaning back talking to our new receptionist. So no. Shy Guy said, I have once had to carry the engagement ring for a friend while we were travelling as a group. He wanted to propose on the trip,

but obviously didn't want to have the ring in his luggage, so I kept it. That is stressful. I did that to my mate. Have you done that? I gave it to him so he could go through first with it in case they pull them up on or whatever. And then he forgot he had it in there, And I was like, I need that ring back.

Okay. Okay. Let's not be forgetting. We've got a lot of money in there. Very precious thing. It's not insured. That's an ultimate act of friendship. We go to Nick, though, on 131060.

Good morning, Nick. Good morning, party people. Ah, Nick, Nick, Nick. You sound like a great mate. Have you done something for someone or have they done something for you? Me and my best mate are guilty of doing it to each other. Ordering food when their flat broke. Told you not to.

Oh, that's nice. Like maybe you've gone out or you just rock up with a takeaway or something. Yeah, kind of. I love that. Sort of. Yeah, kind of. Maybe. I'm not going to give you any more details. I've told you my of Yeah Kind of Maybe I'm not going to give you

Any more details I've told you my piece Kind of Full stop Sarah On 131060 Sarah Are you the ultimate friend?

Good morning No I've got the ultimate friend So I got engaged In Port Douglas Beautiful Port Douglas On my birthday

And the ring was too big And I lost the ring And we went out Celebrating I lost the ring. So I called my friend in Sydney. I called the jeweler in Sydney. I got a new one ordered. And all week I was like, oh, I'll put it away so it's safe. And then I got my friend to pick a ring, pick a new ring up from the jewelers. And she had to meet me at Sydney airport and then give it to me quickly because I knew everyone would want to see the ring in Sydney. So she, bless her, she went and picked it up. My husband was like, we are now married, but he was saying,

why is she at the airport? What's she doing? Oh, hang on a minute. I thought she wanted to congratulate us. He didn't know you'd lost the ring and you did all this? No. It was all... Wow.

How did your new fiancé not go, hey, show me that ring, how good's this? You'd never know. No, very trusting and it's a really bad one. But a couple of months later, he found the original. He was on a golf trip and he found the original in a backpack. In his golf bag because he hid it there or something like that? I'd hidden it there probably to keep it safe.

You thought you'd lost it but you'd actually hidden it. No. Do you have two diamond rings? No, I got the other one made into I got the second one made into a necklace to remind me not to do sneaky things again. As you do. That would have been such a funny story years later.

What's this, honey? You've got yours. What's this? Was he annoyed then when you told him the truth? Well, yeah, because I should have told him. And also, did you have to pay for a second diamond? Yeah. Yeah, that's double the expense. But friendship, M.R.R.

Friendship, baby! Friendship! Jess and Ducko in the morning. Alpha Bucks. Jess and Ducko's. Alpha Bucks. Couples. Yes, this is all in lead up for Valentine's Day. Of course, Valentine's Day happening Friday. We all know that.

But you and your partner can work together. Souls aligned. Are two minds better than one? Well, so far we've not had any success. So far it's been quite chaotic and confusing. I think it's the issue of needing to take the first answer first. Yep. So you've got to make sure you're coming in with the right one.

Red hot. We need a good strategy and a good plan. And today's couple, we made these two hot and heavy. It's Kayleigh and we've got Lewis. Good morning, Kayleigh. Good morning, Lewis. Good morning, guys. How are we?

Excellent. Thank you. Lewis, how long have you guys been together? Five, six years. Five, six years. Five, six years. Kayleigh, can you confirm? He clearly knows the answer. Nearly six.

Nearly six. So five, six is nearly six, that works. That feels like a long time. Now, you guys met in Australia despite both being from the UK, it says here. Yes, we did. I was on holiday and that's when we met. Hang on. So, Kayleigh, did you relocate because you're like, ah, Lewis has found home here.

Maybe I will too. I sure did. Went back nine weeks later, moved back and lived together from day one. Oh, that's bloody spish. Okay. I love that. Now, do you guys have a strategy? Have you heard the last two days have been a bit chaotic with how this has gone?

So have you got a strategy to win? We do, but whether or not it goes to plan. Okay. What's the strategy? We've got a two-year-old that we've just given chocolate to who never has chocolate. Oh, okay. So the strategy was about preoccupying the child? Attracting the kid, yes. Yeah.

All right. All right, well, guys, it's about working together. But as we've said, you've got to take your first answer, so make sure you're coming in. But also, you can't waste time. You can't waste time. You've got 30 seconds. Hit us with a pass if you need to.

Yeah, it's all the same rules still apply, but yes, have to take your first answer. All right. Oh, what do you want to spend the money on? Do you want to go visit our home, do a holiday back to the UK? Oh, shit. She'll spend it. Lewis is like, I've been signed up to this.

Very quick on the response. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lewis, this is like, I've been signed up to this. Very quick on the response. Whatever Kayleigh wants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, whatever the woman wants. Amen. Whatever the woman wants. All right. Happy wife, happy life. The letter you guys are going to work with today is C.

C for chaotic couple. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Chaotic child at the moment. Chaotic child. All right. Well, good luck.

Good luck. All right. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C, we need you to name a vegetable. Carrot. A dessert. Pass. A rom-com.

Casablanca. An accessory. Chain. A spice. Cardamom. Asian. A country. Canada. Canada. A spice. Cardamom. A country. Canada.

A band. Path. An occupation. Chocolate worker. A zoo animal. Path. A video game. Path.

A dessert. Lewis just went, you know what, I'm out of here. I'm not doing any more. Lewis just went, you know what? I'm out of here. I'm not doing any more of this. Oh, it does. It does get you. As soon as you get behind, it's like, oh, panic station. Look, I had you down to six with a couple of question marks. Was Casablanca a rom-com?

Was it a drama? I don't know how much com was in the rom. I think Casablanca was an iconic film. I don't know if it was a... I've not seen it in such a long time. I just don't remember. I have no idea. I don't think it's a rom-com.

I think it's a drama. We'll check. That's nitpicky, though. An accessory. What did you say for an accessory? I missed it. A chain. A chain.

Okay, that works. Chain necklace. All out. Yeah, okay. That means, look, you got yourself six, maybe five penny on Casablanca. This is a war romantic. Okay. There's no com.

There's no com. It's a romantic film. Good try, Lewis. He came out quick. And what a reference. A dessert could have been, look, chocolate or custard. Yeah, I didn't actually hear that. You know why?

Because Lewis had repeated the carrot. Yeah, it's hard. The carrot is hard. A band could have been Coldplay or Crowded House. A zoo animal could have been a chimp, a cheetah or a croc. A video game. Call of Duty. Crash Bandicoot.

Look, you know, I still think it was our most successful couple yet. I agree. The synergy was there. Yeah, it was there. It was. Paul Lewis just got behind and just went, I'm taking my ball and bat and I'm going home. Run with it, Kayleigh.

Run with it. To be fair, he never listens to the radio. So when I told him, he was like, what's this? Alpha, what? You're in it now, Lewis. Look, Lewis is like, who? Jess and who? What am I doing?

I'm 10 grand, though. I'm paying attention. $100 to spend a budgie smuggler coming to you guys, though, for playing and getting involved, so we appreciate you. Thanks, guys. At least I look good on the beach. Absolutely. You will.

Can we do a shout-out to our family in the UK who's listening? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Hey, you will. Get that pasty pom skim out. Can we do a shout out to our family in the UK who's listening? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Go for it. Yeah, they've come through and they'll be laughing at us now. Yeah. Shout out to Kaylee and Lewis' families. What time is it up over there?

They got up nice and early. 9 p.m. 9 p.m. So they got up very late. They got up very late to listen and you guys let them down. Time over all. No. Thanks so much for playing, guys.

Happy Valentine's Day. Perfect. Thank you very much. Bye. Bye. Do you reckon we've locked Lewis in as a rice cooker? Lewis and the British family. Oh, I love that.

Welcome to Australian radio, guys. This is what we do. We give away budgie smugglers and fridge magnets. Yeah, it's a big stage. The question we are asking, it's funny, love has seeped into this week in many ways, shapes and forms. We know it's Valentine's Day, but this one is probably the other end of it. Is it?

Side note, is there a bigger deal this year about Valentine's Day? Like, I feel like I'm seeing more. Do you mean for us or just for the world? In general. Or is it just what I'm seeing? I feel like our office has really gotten on the bandwagon. I've never seen us with bespoke cards able to write little Valentines to colleagues sitting in the kitchen. There's a little Valentine's station.

Is there? I haven't seen that. We're really leaning into it here. So maybe we're just feeling surrounded by it. That's weird. But the shops, you know, Lindt has released their love heart choccies. They're just, I think it's the same. It's that little gap between now and Easter

where it's just like, what are we going to do? We need something. We need something to do. They put hot cross buns in the shops in Jan 1. So it's like, all right, let's have a little break. We'll do some Valentines

and we'll go back on the Easter bandwagon. Keep it out. I want to know, for a chance to win those Kylie tickets, how bad was your proposal? Maybe you were the recipient or you were the executor and you went, oh, I stuffed it. I know I stuffed it.

Because one of my friends got engaged recently and it would have to be one of the most lacklustre proposals I've ever heard in one of the most unbelievable settings. Doing the Europe trip, Daco. Having a wonderful time overseas. He's carried the ring for a long period of the trip. But he goes, no. I'm going to do it in the most romantic part I can think of.

The Amalfi Coast in Italy. Absolutely beautiful. It's always good in planning. You have an idea in your head. You've got a vision. And they did some cruise along the Amalfi, obviously the coast of Italy, the Mediterranean, stunning. Unfortunately, they're both very pasty Australian people,

sunburned, sunstroke, a bit too much merriment, forgot to reapply. So they both go back to their little cabin situation. And my friend Bec, she's not in the mood. It's been a great day, but now she's feeling up against it, probably dehydrated and all that jazz. But her husband, or fian fiance, has a plan. And while she's sort of lamenting, groaning, being a bit miserable, saying, can you go

find the aloe vera? Just please rub my back, do all this. He goes, hey, hey, remember the other day I was really looking for those nail clippers? She's like, yeah, that was like an hour the other day. You were going on about nail clippers. You took up a big chunk of our day carrying on about nail clippers. Comes out of the bathroom. She thinks he's going to present her with the aloe vera or said nail clippers.

He goes, look what else I found. And had the ring. And that was it. And that's how he chose to propose. Surprise. She went, you can't use nail clippers in the same sentence as, and will you marry me? Was he planning to do it a different way?

Like, was he planning to do it at a dinner or a restaurant? He thought after a beautiful day seeing the Amalfi Coast, it would be the perfect time. And even though it had sort of gone off the rails with the sunstroke and the sunburn and all that, he went, I've got to do it now. And the segue he chose was nail clippers. So forevermore, their proposal story is. It's where the dude's mind goes in that moment, hey.

Like, just panic. And we understand. We understand. It's a nerve-wracking thing. You're nervous. And he probably had a speech, but he chose at that moment to go, I'm going to throw her off the scent. I'll bring up the hunt for the nail clippers.

She'll never know. And just have a diamond ring. Not down on one knee. I didn't do that. No lovey-dovey speech. Just holding the ring going, so will you marry me? She went, take two. I do not want this to be our story. Rewind. Let's do that again. I mean, she said yes. You know who your partner is. I don't know what to be our story. Rewind. Let's do that again. I mean, she said yes.

You know who your partner is. I don't know what else she was expecting. Oh, man, proposing. But nail clippers. It's truly one of the most nerve-wracking, tough experiences, most artificial experiences you have. It's so funny when guys say they were really nervous. I'm like, oh, God, the idea of you thinking you're going to get a no.

No, but that's not even why you're nervous. No, it's not even about the no. It's just about executing because this is going to be your story now forever. I was even practicing, like, pulling it out of the pocket and opening the box at the right angle on which knee I'm going to drop to. Okay. Like, I was practicing the mechanics of the knee drop. It's a dance.

It's choreography. And, like, you don't mind. Mine was horrible. Mine was meant to be in Japan on top of a beautiful mountain in Niseko and skiing. With the snow falling. Snow falling down. Gently drifting down.

Our friends were all going to be down the bottom of the mountain waiting for us and we. With the snow falling. Snow falling down. Our friends were all going to be down the bottom of the mountain waiting for us and we were going to ski down. Well, the reality was Morgan's had two dislocated knees, couldn't ski to save herself. She just did pizza down the entire mountain. I've got to pivot here. She hated skiing. Like, hated it.

So I couldn't do it at the top of the mountain. And then my mates kept skiing down each leg of the mountain being like, here? I'm like, no, keep going. Because they knew it was coming. And then it ended up being in the car park of the hotel we were in while they were on the balcony looking down at us before midnight. Mid-blizzard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one of our friends gives it away by being on the balcony going, what are we doing? And then Morgan looks up. Has she said yes yet? Yeah. Morgan looked at me and goes, oh, and we had to walk down seven flights of stairs to get to the ground

before I could propose and I just ran ahead of her. So we couldn't speak. It was, you know. It's just, you want it to go perfectly. But I would think more than half go back. 90% would go. Because you've overthought it now. It's the fun stories.

It is the fun stories. And that will always be a part of it. It will. Now, nail clippers will probably be their bonbonieri at the wedding. It will be. Yeah. 13, 10, 60, bad proposal stories. We're not looking for good ones.

We only want bad ones. We don't want to hear the good. We hope you said yes at the end. Yeah. Well, maybe it was, 60, bad proposal stories. We're not looking for good ones. We only want bad ones. We don't want to hear the good ones. We hope you said yes at the end. Yeah. Or maybe it was that bad you went, no. I'm not saying yes to this. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Some people would say their proposal. I tried my best. Might not be the most fantastic story, but it is now our story. Yes. Like a friend of mine, her now fiancé, to bury the lead, she said yes. Okay. He led by saying, hey, remember how I was trying to find those nail clippers the other day? Look what else I found.

So funny. And pulled out a diamond ring from his toiletries bag. Where does your brain go in that moment? I don't know why he thought that would be a romantic, beautiful setup. Yeah. For asking someone to be their forever person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We go to Damien on 131060.

It was you proposing, Damien, that has gone wrong. Yeah, guys, how are we this morning? Excellent, Damien. What happened? Oh, we went to this really fancy restaurant. I had this thing planned out for days. I rung ahead and going to get sparklers and will you marry me written on a plate in our dessert. Cute.

They come to the table. Are you guys ready for dessert? Yeah, we're ready for dessert. I'm looking around nervous as thinking, oh, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. And they've come out with these sparklers. I've dropped on one knee, pulled me out, and it wasn't for me. It was someone else's birthday behind us.

Oh, no. So you've tried to time the arrival of the dessert. You're already down and they've walked past you. That is so embarrassing. How did you come back from that? What did you do? Oh, I just had to do it. Then they come out, yeah, a couple of minutes later and I said,

oh, it was all planned. I had this really good idea. There's the person going, the person whose birthday it was, you've ruined that day for them. Yeah, they all clapped. Oh, it was so embarrassing. Oh, they would have a public space like that day. It was ballsy, man.

That is public proposal. Yeah, well done. That's funny. That's fantastic. Oh, good friend of the show, Glenn. Good morning. Morning, guys. How are you going?

Oh, so good, Glenn. Was it your proposal? Yes, it was. What went wrong? I spent six months planning it. I bought platinum tickets to go and see Fleetwood Mac up at Percolvin. Oh, yeah. Nice.

I did the whole rose petals on the bed at the Novotel. Everything was all sorted. My wife went to the bathroom halfway through the show and never came back. She got gastro. Oh, my God. So, wait. Had you proposed at this point? No, I was waiting until we got back to the hotel to propose.

Gotcha. Poor darling spent the whole ride back on the bus from Percolbin vomiting into an algae bag. Okay, so tell me you pivoted. You didn't just stay on your – when she's walked in and seen the rose petals. I stayed. I was so filthy internally, but it must have shown because my wife kept saying, oh, you're angry at me for being sick.

I got no idea. We walked into the hotel room and she went, oh, my God. And I got down on the one. And then he went, will you marry me? She went. Here goes the Albie bag. Oh, that's so good. I mean, it can't get worse.

You know, we start there. It can only get better. Glenn's like, I could wait a day. Nah, you've got to pull the trigger. I can't get, I'm not going to fork out for platinum tickets again for another concert. We're never coming back to see Dreams. That's fantastic. Maddie on 131060, you ruined your partner's proposal.

Good morning, Jess and Daco. Yes, I unfortunately did ruin all of his plans for the perfect night. What happened? So he had, we're from a rural town, so he'd booked a beautiful place up at Magenta Beach and had the ring, had booked a beautiful restaurant over the water and I told him that we really quickly had to eat and had the ring, had booked a beautiful restaurant over the water, and I told him that we really quickly had to eat because I had booked the movies.

So that kind of got in his way, and he then sat in a two-and-a-half-hour movie with me with the ring in his pocket. And then after the movie, he said, let's go and have a look at the water. And I said, why would you want to go and look at the water? It's dark. We can't see anything. Yeah. I said, we can't see anything. I just want to go home and do a face mask and get in my pajamas. And he was sitting on the bed and I said, come on, we need to pack up our bags. We're leaving tomorrow. What are you doing? And he was so stressed and then just got to the point of, okay, I've been trying to do this all night and you keep getting in the way.

This is how the proposal's happening. Will you marry me? You've done it to yourself. Did you still have the face mask on? No, I hadn't yet put it on. He was getting cranky and saying, can you just come and sit down? Can you just stop for a minute? And I was like, what's wrong with you?

Oh, that would have been a great image, just that sheet mask looking like a ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dripping. Oh, yeah, okay, sure. Let me get this off. Oh, that would have been a great image, just that sheet mask looking like a ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dripping. Oh, yeah, okay, sure. Let me get this off. Oh, that's great. We'll wrap it up here with Tanya on 131060. Tanya, you ruined your partner's proposal as well. Oh, yes, I certainly did.

We'd been together for five years and planned this beautiful romantic weekend to the coast down in Baton's Bay, and I didn't realise he was going to propose or anything like that. But we'd had some Chinese at the local RSL and I think it was a bit dodgy. Yeah. Oh, no. Because I started feeling really sick. Oh, no. And he did the same thing.

Said, oh, let's go for a walk along the water and went out in this beautiful big pier. You know, the sun, sorry, it's not the sun shining, the stars shining, the moon. Very romantic. Got down on his knee to ask me to marry him. And I had to put my finger up to tell him to stop. And I threw up over the side of the pier. Hold that thought. Hold that.

He's on one knee shaking. You'll bring it up your Mongolian lamp. Oh, no. So once you compose yourself, Tanya, you go, alright, resume. What were you going to ask me? I said yes, but he would not kiss me. You can always text me on the text line

048881069. Sorry, reading this one late. Says, hello, I have a friend who just before New Year's waxed my entire nether regions for a date and then picked me up on New Year's Eve at 1am the morning after the date. What a legend. Oh my God. And then we've got another, my name is Kayleen.

Then we've got a, I hope this is the radio station, not a random number. That's all the same person. Yeah, exactly. I'm saying. So thank you. I'm being Kayleen. Thank you for that contribution. An hour ago we asked for the ultimate acts of friendship and that.

Kayleen, we hear you. I couldn't get you to come over and tan my back. And she can get a friend to wax her nethers. That's a hell of a power. Great use of upside down emoji too. Yeah. I just wanted to point out to Kayleen that we hear you and we see you. Absolutely.

They don't just go into the ether. They don't just go into the nether regions. That's great. Into the nether regions. Say the same, say the same. The aim of our game is to say the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a verbal snap We're still debating whether snap is a good card game or not No, we're not debating

But the game is to just shoot out a word And then work with each other to land on the same word Take step by step It's a tough game because you never know where you're going to start and you certainly don't know where you're going to end. We've only achieved it once and it's because we broke the rules and went beyond our allocated five rounds. But, God, I'm still riding that high.

My wife loves playing this with me now. She's just obsessed with the game. Yeah, but last time you played, you said you just named the thing on the coffee table in front of you. We're better than that now. We're better than that. No more water bottle. No more water bottle. No more water bottle.

No more Pam the dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's something that Shy Guy has to do no work for. Yeah, that's why he loves it. It's just you and me, baby. Yeah, we can ride this. All right. Okay.

Three, two, one. Tongue. Ooh, tongue and bike. I see why you've done tongue. We've done a lot of tongue years before. We were just talking about tongues. Where did bike come into your head? I'll just write a random word, I guess.

And that's what the game is. Tongue. Bike and tongue. I don't even know. Because now you know which way we're going to go here. There's no common ground that I can see. No. Tongue.

I can't. And bike. Three, two, one. Spit. Ooh. Hello. We've entered the mouth. Okay.

We've both gone into the mouth. Spit. I don't hate lick and spit. Lick. Ooh. Hello. We've entered the mouth region. Okay, we've both gone into the mouth. Spit. I don't hate lick and spit. Lick and spit. Okay. Spit and lick. Lick and spit. Okay, here we go.

No, no, no, no. Here we go. Three, two, one. Suck. Saliva. What did you say? I thought it would be another lick, spit, saliva, suck. We're still here.

Okay, wait. You've got two more. We've gotiva, suck. We're still here. Okay, wait. We got suck and saliva. We're just flirting with the same words. Suck and saliva. How do we? Suck and saliva. Yuck. I mean, okay.

One. Okay. All right. Okay. Three, two, one. Mouth. Yeah! Yeah!

We got that in four. It's Valentine's week. Of course we're going to end up in mouth areas. Yes! Do you know where we should have landed? We'd suck. Yeah. Toes.

But I'm glad. I'm glad you said toes just then. Jess and Ducco. Welcome to Wednesday, you wacky creatures. Oh my God, it's a miracle we've been able to fit in as much as we have in this short three-hour window. We've jammed it all in, haven't we? We really have.

If you've missed any of it, you can grab it wherever you get your podcasts or on Listener. Like, subscribe. Absolutely. To brush up on your... Hit the sub button. Follow. Leave us a review.

Yeah. To brush up on your shy guy knees in preparation for next week's Shy Guy Dips. Yeah. Revisit today's game. Yeah. Win the box. It was a tough one today, but we had a pivot, a late game pivot, which we don't see from the rice cookers.

They really come in locked and loaded. Oh, yeah. And it doesn't matter if Shy Guy's given something really obvious. They're getting better at pivoting. I'll just tell you what I was going to say. Yeah. So one of your clues was it's got a four-. They're getting better at pivoting. I'll just tell you what I was going to say. Yeah. So one of your clues was it's got a four-star health rating. Four and a half.

So I checked Weet-Bix. They got a five. Oh, my God. That's a perfect score. That's the highest health rating you can get. Does that mean... I don't want to get the good people at Sanitarium or Kellogg's offside. Yeah.

Does that mean it is good for you or it's just not that bad for you? That's where I don't know. Surely Weet-Mix isn't five-star health. Like, you can't just live off Weet-Mix. No. It doesn't have all the nutrients. It says the more stars, the healthier the choice. The healthier the choice.

The healthier. But it doesn't mean it's necessarily... It doesn't mean it's the best. It's not full of sugar, et cetera. Like, yeah, if Fruit Loops is zero, Wheat Mix would be five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it doesn't mean you should just eat Wheat Mix. No such thing as a zero.

It's a half. Oh, you always get a half. Something's a half if it's a 0.5. I'm sorry. Fruit Loops can't even be a half. Oh, hey, there's fruit in there. Fruit extract. What is in a Fruit Loop?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sugar. That would be any sort of good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fruit Loops is a two star. Wow. That's actually not the worst. Part Don Emberworth.

I'll find the lowest. Yeah, let's find the lowest cereal rating. It's got to be like Fruit Loops. I mean. Frosty Flakes. Frosty Flakes or Crispix maybe. Did I say Kit Kat have a cereal now? Oh my God.

Twix had a cereal. Tiny Teddies. Tiny Teddies has a cereal. That's got to be one of the most unhealthy. Yeah. Two. It's all sugar and artificial colour. Nutri-Grain. Nutri-Grain not great? Nutri-Grain's 1.5. So Fruit Loops

is better than Nutri-Grain. But Nutri-Grain's the Iron Man food. Iron Men don't eat Fruit Loops. God, they marketed that well into the health. Didn't they? Didn't they just? Because you don't think if Nutri-Grain is being as bad as Fruit Loops. If you're going to get on a bandwagon, you'll want to get on the Iron Man bandwagon. Oh, yeah, yeah. Look at these healthy athletes. We're fueling them. Yeah.

I'd love to see what an Iron Man eats for breakfast. Wheat Bix. On game day. Probably 25 Wheat Bix. Yeah, well, yeah. Look at these healthy athletes. We're fueling them. Yeah. I'd love to see what an Ironman eats for breakfast. Wheat Bix. On game day. Probably 25 Wheat Bix. Yeah, well, they should be eating Nutri-Grain. It's emblazoned on their singlets. Yeah, I know. I know, it's a weird one.

Would you count Up and Go as a cereal? As a cereal, no. It's liquid. But I understand what you're saying. It's got like banana and... It's not Shy Guy has breakfast. It's Shy Guy dips cereal. Oh, you mean to add it to your repertoire. But an Up and Go is Wheat Bix in a... It's not Shy Guy has breakfast. It's Shy Guy dips cereal. Oh, you mean to add it to your repertoire.

But an up-and-go is Weet-Bix in a... It's a smoothie. We're dipping into smoothie territory, though. Now this is dangerous. And also, are you serious? That's what it is. I've never actually had an up-and-go. I thought it was milk.

No, no, it's like a smoothie. But it's like a... It's not cereal. No, it's like a banana smoothie. It's sort of what it is. Yeah, right. With a few things mixed in there. No, no, now we're going to do Shy Guy Sips.

Oh, yeah. Because I was going to say... That's 2026. That's 2026. The up and go come in a box though. You can win the box. You can buy a pack of them, yeah. But no, I think that's too grey. You guys didn't let me do dips dips. Yeah, we don't. It's the equivalent of two weeks. There's more than two. Put that in.

No one's going to know. I could name 11 dips. Yeah, you could. You are abnormal. You never bring up Baba Ganoush. You always forget my boy Baba Ganoush. Yeah, yeah. Shy Guy Dips dips would go for about a week and we'd be like, ugh. No one's called in.

No one's rung in again. Oh, it's just Jess wanting to play. Where are my ethnics? No dips. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They'll call in. They'll call in.

But yes, I think Shy Guy Sips next year. That could be fun. Yeah, Shy Guy Sips is fun. That is fun. Oh, jeez. If we all have jobs next year. And then Shy Guy Licks. Yeah, that's...

People have asked for licks. What's Shy Guy Licking today? What's Shy Guy Licking? Yeah, that's a bit of fun. That is fun. Yes, if we all have jobs. That's the first step. Let's get employed first.

Let's do that. I will be here. Absolutely. Anything else you guys want to add before we get out of here? It's been a great day. Great time. Babs, anything you want to add out there? Sally, anything?

No, we're good. Actually, yeah, let's ask Sally. So Sally's new to the team. Yep, start on reception. So she's been sitting with Babs this morning just to see, you know, different departments. Well, to watch magic. And to watch magic happen. Sally, how would you, any feedback for today?

Constructive criticism. Oh, it's been amazing. It's been very interesting hearing everyone's proposal stories. There you go. Especially the disgusting ones. Yeah. Oh, yeah. See?

Sally saw another side of everything. The rice cookers will come. Yes. And they will cook. Thank you, Sally. Thanks, Sally. Thanks for being here. Welcome to the company.

Welcome. We're back tomorrow, Thursday. Jeez, Thursday's a great day, isn't it? Who am I to say tomorrow? I had like six, bro. We've done it before. I was like, are you okay? Thursday.

I just had a bleed. Wordy-okey. Wordy-okey. And. Yes. The blog. Babs is blogging it up. Yes.

I don't know what you've got left in your arsenal having shared. After doing Fatberg today. The Fatberg story. No, I demand two. I might not have to do it tomorrow. Absolutely not. Thursday's your day. It's your fault for wasting gear on a Wednesday.

This is going to slay. Ducko made me do it. No, I thought you were talking about drugs. The blog tomorrow. The blog tomorrow. Don't go anywhere. More chances for Kylie and Alpha Box, of course. Well, we'll see you tomorrow.

Bye-bye. Bye. No, I thought you were talking about drugs. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Macca's Fiery News Spicy Chicken McRap is even more reason for a Macca's Run.