Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I'd watch that over the moon landing

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

We have some words of wisdom for Ducko as he approaches his last day before bub arrives! Millie Elliott pops in for a visit with a sports report. We play 'to beard or not to beard' and we find out who will replace Ducko next week! Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Minecraft movie Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's with one of 12 toys to collect. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hi everyone. Hello. Hi Dr. Nick. Pardon? You know Dr. Nick?

Doing a Simpsons thing. Hi everybody. Hi Dr. Nick. Oh my god, tell me someone I haven't thought about in a while to take a Hamish and Andy game. Oh my god. He came up in trivia that night that had to name these 10 TV doctors. And the first one was like Dr. Nick. That's a fun game. Oh, my God. He came up in trivia that night. They had to name these ten TV doctors. And the first one was like Dr. Nick. That's a fun question.

Yeah, yeah. This is going to be hard because I understand it was pictures. But are there any others? You can quickly quiz us on that. Maybe have a catchphrase. Grey's Anatomy was in there. Oh, yeah. Was it McSteamy or McDreamy?

Yeah. Who else was in there from the doctors? I can't think. I can't remember. I can only think of Bloody Young. It's a good one for Bitty Bitty Bang Bang. Famous Doctors. I just don't know

any of their character. Like I know Merit, I don't know George Clooney's character. Dr. Carl. Dr. Carl. Scrubs.

Neighbours. Turk. Turk was in there. He was in there. Turk was in there. Scrubs. I can't remember the Elliot.

Was she the female love interest in Scrubs? I think her name was Elliot. Yeah, yeah. God, that's a fun question. Yeah, it was a good one. They have all sorts of whack ones. The other night was.

Oh my God, Dr. House. Name these characters. Dr. Harry. Name these characters who wear bows. So it was like Maggie Simpson has a bow on. Oh, Alexa's got a bow. Angelica has a bow. Rugrats.

Rugrats. Were there any non-cartoons who wear bows? I think so, but I can't remember. Yeah, I can't remember any of the girls in Saddle Club wearing a bow. Lisa maybe fits her character, but I don't remember. I can't think of any of the bow people. Oh, little bow peep, obviously. One of my favourites.

Minnie Mouse? She has a bow. Yeah, I think she does. I think Daisy Duck has a bow also. Daisy Duck. Dorothy the dinosaur has a flower.. Daisy Duck. Dorothy the dinosaur has a flower. Oh, Dorothy. A hat, I mean.

Have you started watching Dorothy yet? Yeah, I put the wiggles on every now and then. Is she Raven still? Sorry, I was getting Dorothy confused with Barney. My bad. Oh, no fair. Wrong dinosaur. Haven't watched Barney. I try and only put TV on if they're going to sing.

Oh, yeah. Just feels. Educational. It feels less screen timey, if that makes sense. Yeah, I know what you're saying. It obviously is. But it feels like, oh, we can sing and dance and maybe learn about colours. Yeah, yeah, 100%.

As opposed to Barney just being an entertaining show. Are you doing Blippi? No, Blippi. That's crack for kids, isn't it? That and Coco Mello. Coco Mello. Is the crack for kids. Yeah. Someone gifted Lucia for her first birthday, likelippi. That's crack for kids, isn't it? That and Cocoa Melon is the crack for kids.

Someone gifted Lucia for her first birthday, like a little laptop, but it's Cocoa Melon, and I literally put it in the bin because everything I've heard about Cocoa Melon is that it warps their brains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nope. It's not even a screen. It's purely buttons and the voices, but I thought, nah. That's a gateway drug. It's a gateway drug.

That's marijuana into the kids' TV world. Yes, it's the devil's lettuce and before you know it she'll be what do they do with the spoon I don't know how to make that you sound like you were just smoking heroin

I don't know you like neither do I shy guy you like the spoon no I actually don't know you like the spoon yeah you like the spoon yeah with the heza

yeah yeah that's bad Babs knows yeah Babs yeah of course I know hey she's just entered the chat hi Babs yeah hey Yeah, Babs. Yeah, of course I know. Hey, she's just entered the chat. Hi, Babs. Yeah, hey.

Cocaine. Oh, Cocaine Babsy. But it's funny, I told you when we brought Lucia here first time, for some reason I got into the Fast and the Furious world, and I was like, this doesn't feel right for a newborn either, just to be around this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it'd be interesting, the guilt you have.

You're like, should I be doing that? Should I have that on with the kids around? I've actually got a heroin story for you. You want to hear it? I do. Yeah, okay. We can share our stories. This is a wild story. Just joking. This is a wild story. This is a crazy story.

I'm glad I brought up heroin. When I was living in LA, there's a lot of crazies in LA, obviously. Actors, wannabe actors, just weirdos. I met this guy who was really rich. His name was Mike. He was really, really rich. His family was obviously from money. He was like quintessential preppy, jockey-looking American. I think we met at the acting school I was at.

Oh, he's an aspiring actor himself. Yeah, he wasn't very good. And anyway, he liked sport. We sort of bonded over that. And I was new there and I was trying to branch out and make friends with some of the natives. Like I wanted to be friends with the locals. I don't want to just hang out with Aussies. Yeah, exactly. It's what I've sort of bonded over that, and I was new there, and I was trying to branch out and make friends with some of the natives. Like, I wanted to be friends with the locals. I don't want to just hang out with Aussies. Yeah, exactly.

It's what I've sort of been doing. Anyway, he liked to have a few drinks. I'd been to a few various parties, and he'd been there, and he goes, do you want to play golf with me in Beverly Hills? And I was like, yeah, I'll play golf. He's like, I'll pick you up. We'll go play at Beverly Hills. We're driving to golf in Beverly Hills, I swear to God, and I was 21.

So I was, like, younger, naive, not seen heroin, right? He is driving, stops at the lights, whips up. Shut. Swear to God, whips up an alfoil thing, lights the bottom of the alfoil and starts inhaling it. And I was like, what's that? And he's like, oh, dude, it's just like opium. It's just like, you know, like little Chinese guys smoke their pipes.

It's like good for you. I remember like I didn't know much about opium and heroin. I was like, he's like, do you want some? And I just like, you know, like little Chinese guys smoke their pipes. It's like good for you. I remember like I didn't know much about opium heroin. I was like, he's like, do you want some? And I was like, nah, we're about to play golf. I don't feel like opium is going to be the best. Yeah. But maybe after golf, man, like obviously I'm not having any. And he then continued to drive.

I was fucking shit scared. We get to golf and he's out of it. Like he's high as fucking kind of heroin, right? Or opium. And like he's super high and just swinging in slow motion. He's, you know, he's out of it. Like, he's high as fucking kite on heroin, right? Or opium. And, like, he's super high and just swinging in slow motion. You know, he's not there. And he was my only lift home. Oh, my God.

You can't get in the car with him. He gets in the car in the parking lot. I swear to God, he gets in and crashed into a pole. So you're in the car? I was in the car. Because you didn't get in? No, no, no. He gets into the car and he's all take off.

He gets into the car. He crashed into a pole and he was even like, where did that come from? Like so out of it. Like just messy, messy. And I was like, mate, I don't think you can drive. Rah, rah. He got quite annoyed. Same age?

Is he 21 as well? Yep. He would have been my age. Got quite annoyed. I then had to get like, there wasn't Ubers then. It was cabs or whatever. I just had to get out of there. I don't know where I was in Beverly Hills.

I was a while away from where I was living in Burbank. I'll stick with my Australian friends, thank you. Yeah, and I went home and I was like, went home to my housemates. I was like, do you guys know what opium is? Like, I'd not. And they were like, what? And I explained the story. They're like, what the fuck?

Anyway, saw him again at the acting schools after that. And he was, like, different. He was very edgy. Found out a year and a half later he died, overdosed. Shut up! Yeah, yeah. How terrible. Because I still have him on Facebook. And then, like, I'd see, like, he died, overdosed. Shut up! Yeah, yeah. How terrible. Because I still have him on Facebook.

And then I'd see things he posts and stuff. I never obviously hung out with him again. No. And he wasn't my friend. He was trying to make friends. Of course. So it's like, I played golf in Beverly Hills with a guy who was high on heroin.

Don't you drive. Wild! Crazy, right? That feels like the most LA thing I've ever heard. To be honest, I was like, this is a cool story if nothing else. Jesus. He whipped out the Alphorn while we were driving. And sorry, lit it with a lighter.

Yeah, underneath it so it heats it up. Would it have been through the Alphorn? It didn't seem to. There was something in the Alphorn. And so he was just singeing the bottom of it. And he inhaled it. A little hot plate. Crazy.

I remember him driving and doing it. And he actually drove okay there. And it was when we played golf. He wasn't doing it on the course but that was enough. No, yeah. I don't know if he did it after before he drove again but yeah, he crashed into a pole into the parking car of the golf course and I was like This is making Coco Mellon feel a lot better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's not as bad as I was making it. Crazy. Crazy. I'd never wish. When that's actually. And I was 21 and I was like, America's fucking wild. Like, oh, holy hell. I don't want to When that's actually. And I was 21. I was like, America's fucking wild. Like, oh, holy hell. I don't want to be around this. Yeah, it was crazy. Holy moly.

LA is bizarre. Like, strange place. How do you feel in 18 years time, your daughter looks at you and goes, dad, I bought a one way ticket. I want to be in Hollywood. I'm moving to LA. Oh, yeah. You'd all have to go.

Yeah. You can't let them loose at 18. Oh, 18. That's actually illegal in America. You're 21, yeah. So I all have to go. Yeah. You can't let them loose at 18. Oh, well, 18, that's actually illegal in America. You're 21, yeah. You're 21. So I was just legal to drink in America when I went. So I went to Vegas, I was just 21 and stuff. Holy moly.

Yeah, crazy. I remember fine, because we lived in Burbank, down from the studios. Like, this is the kind of place it was. One day outside our house, we felt bullet shells, like outside our apartment, like just empty bullet shells on the street. And then the next day, I'd be walking to school school and Ellen DeGeneres drove past out of the studios in her car and waved at us. Just like.

Back when she was cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is pre-canceled. Pre-canceled. It's just like, what? Wow. Yeah, yeah. I was at a party once.

We were at a party. I don't know where. Once again, you make friends with these acting friends. We were at a party at a house and then police choppers were above, not our house, but they're above the area with lights on the yards looking for people. Fugitive. Yeah. Like that shit is just real.

The TV screens get taken over by high speed chasers. Hales in comparison. What's the biggest thing? The Corey party. Corey, where are you? Take your glasses off, Corey. I don't even think he got choppers. Yeah, yeah.

It's crazy. It's just a different world. That is. Yeah, yeah. That's my fun heroin story. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, I forgot about that. It's funny for how much we do share.

Oh, there is cases and cases and cases. I feel like I can't bring that up on air. No, but also how often would there be a segue where that's appropriate to bring up? Totally. Today presented itself, again, off the back of Blippi and Coco. So, Lucia, don't watch Blippi because then you'll do heroin in Beverly Hills. Gateway. Welcome to Thursday Team. because then you'll do heroin in Beverly Hills. Gateway. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Welcome to Thursday, team. Oh, my God. What a day. What a day. What a time to be here. You're clearly in today, Ducko. Still here. Still here.

It's funny. Like I said yesterday, everyone who sees me is like, oh, okay. He's still here. I really enjoyed yesterday. We had an emotional look back down memory lane of your two and a bit year journey to get here. Fertility struggles, IVF, and now we're days away. And I remember you saying, I hope she doesn't come today. I'm emotionally exhausted.

I was cooked yesterday. So you've had a nice rest? Yeah. Well, yes. Did you get a full eight hours? Yeah, I did. Okay, good. Yes, I went, took Pam for a run.

Just a beautiful montage-y run. Yes. And then played my last round of golf pre-baby. Yeah, no. A storage. Wow. What's left on the to-do list before she comes? Have we ticked everything off for kid-less Ducco?

Well, I think we've missed the boat for, you know, Horizontal Tango. Yeah, I think the boat's ship has sailed. And now you've got to. Nicola's too uncomfortable now. Yeah, no, and now you've got a long window in front of you. Yeah, that's what I said. The blinds will be shut.

Hello, right hand. No. Good morning. Good morning, right hand. How I've missed you, good sir. Hang on, you're right. Yeah, yeah, I'm ambidextrous. That's so funny.

We had to get 55 pairs of left-handed scissors in for you, but for the big task, you go to your right. That's the one job the right does. It does. It really is. Wow. Yeah. It's because the left's there in case I fall over, just to stabilize me.. That's the one job the right does. It does. It really is. Wow. Yeah. It's because the left's there in case I fall over, just to stabilize me.

Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah. Sean goes with that. He's your anchor point. Yeah, he's my anchor point. But the right, you know, it's a good way to work the other side of your brain. So true. That's what I'm doing.

My dad's boss, sorry to bring Vicky into this conversation, but she was really conscious about, got to utilize both sides of the brain. So she put all her kids in violin lessons. Oh. When really, all she needed to do. Just tell her son. Just tell her kids, hey, utilize both sides of the brain. So she put all her kids in violin lessons. Oh. When really, all she needed to do. Just tell her son. Just tell her kids, hey, every on end, just swap. Just use your hand.

It also prevents bending. Oh. Yeah. That's. Oh. So you change it up. Yeah. Yeah.

Gotcha. Yeah. Like banana. Enough about that. What were we talking about? Oh, yes. Yeah. I don't know if there's anything else left on the list.

I think I've done, I think we've ticked it all off. Amazing. Yeah, it's just waiting time. We've been talking a lot about the role we'll all play in the birthing suite. Babs on video, did we land? What was Babs doing? What is Babs doing? DJ set.

DJ set. DJing, videoing. Yeah, yeah. She's just sort of there printing. She's support person. She's the metaphorical left hand in this scenario. So true. There for support.

Yeah. We originally thought Shy Guy would be on camera, but no, he's now going to be support for Ducko. Yeah. You'll be holding my hand. I'll wear a GoPro, though. Yeah. Oh, that's great. That's great.

Love the chest mount. That might be a good angle. Helmet will probably be too high because you're a tall, thin man. Yeah, yeah. Chest mount on me. Because I was nervous with this delegation of shy guy in the delivery suite. Ambience captain would fall to the wayside. So I've stepped in, Ducko.

We've got battery-powered tea lights. Oh, look at you. And the fairy lights for you. Are they from yours? They are from mine. Hilarious. So they might have some amniotic juice. But one of my favourite photos.

Oh, it's all one big family. One of my favourite photos from our time in the delivery room, beyond the eruption, was Angus on a stepladder. I don't even know where he got it from. Where did he get that? He brought that in. He must have brought, we brought enough. We brought everything but the kitchen sink.

I bet he did. On a stepladder, hanging fairy lights around the room. You know, trying to use the shutters. Yeah, how to do it. Using the cupboards. I haven't asked Morgan if she hanging fairy lights around the room, trying to use the shutters, using the cupboards. I haven't asked Morgan if she wants fairy lights. It was very nice for me, and yes, to each their own, but the harsh fluorescent hospital lights, more than anything once you're in the maternity ward because when they're coming in at 2 a.m. to check your nips,

putting the overhead light on ruined the ambience. So we only had the fairy lights on, basically, of an evening. So they're there if you need. Like a good wing attack. I like them. Here if you need. Dang, I got them. Oh, I can really feel the juices.

What a team we are. I should have rinsed them, but who's had the time? Has Angus untangled these? They look tangled to me. No, I was in charge of that. These are going to be so hard. Look at this. These are like Christmas lights.

Chuck them back. I can't be giving you those. I'll untangle. They're slippery enough to get them out. Babs, you have a new job in the new year. Babs, come on in. Your day just got hectic. I actually find untangling very therapeutic.

Do you? So I can work on that. It's fine. We'll do it throughout the show. Yes, but I think that's you set. I think we're done. I think we're done. All the gifts are done. We'll do it throughout the show. Yes, but I think that's you set. Oh, good. I think that's you set. I think we're done. I think we're done.

All the gifts are done and we're ready to go. Wow. We've got one more audio gift for you today, but we'll get that done before nine. Looking forward to that. Yeah, great. It's going to be normal programming though today. Good fun and banter. Yes.

You know, call of fame. We have the co-fod, tickets to see MJ Plus State, the Novotel in Sydney. That's happening. Anytime you get involved, you're in a chance. You never need an invitation. Just call Babs, 131060. Say g'day. G'day. That's happening. Anytime you get involved, you're in a chance. You never need an invitation. Just call Babs, 13 10 60. Say g'day. G'day.

G'day. AlphaWox, your chance at $10,000, 6.30 at night. That's happening. Hey, Adam Elliott, Swords reporter, NRL legend, cannot come in today, so he's bringing someone off the bench. That's right. We've had to do a late change in the lineup, and I'm very excited about this. It's a good change.

It's a wonderful change. Looking forward to inviting this amazing woman into the lineup. Yeah. And I'm very excited about this. It's a good change. It's a wonderful change. Yeah. Looking forward to inviting this amazing woman into the studio. Yeah, that'd be good. Up next, though, we're going to space. Hell yeah. Butch and Sunny. Yes. They were just up there for a while,

and everyone was speculating they were having intercourse. That's right, even though they are married to different people. It's like, wow, you're stuck up there. What else are you doing? NASA have come out and talked about that very thing in space. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Today we're in space because one of the most common questions

people at NASA get asked aside from how do you go to the toilet in space, how do you know what two is about sex in space? That's Babs doing it up, up in space. When'd you go to the ISS? When'd you jump up there, Babsy? Scientists for the International Space Station have said that's the most common thing they get asked. God, we're just a horny bunch, aren't we?

It's like how we genuinely, we're not joking, when Sonny and Butch went up there and they were up there for 10 months, people started speculating they were sleeping together. And it came out that they were, but they weren't. It's just like... 100%. They were both married to separate people on Earth. They're there, granted, much longer than they were meant to be.

But they had jobs to do and things to occupy their time. Yeah, they were busy. And there were other people on their ship as well. Yeah. Anyway, NASA said that space control is always listening for safety. So they've got someone on the clock 24 hours, constantly listening to the astronauts, listening inside the spaceship. You can't mute. You can't be mutinized.

What if there's an emergency? Exactly. So you're hearing burps. You're hearing farts. You're hearing murmurs, talking. Probably fights and awkward conversations. But they did say that in the space, they are hearing astronauts do the deed. This is a space relationship question for you, Ducco.

Have they ever sent an already established couple up to space or is this just, hey, it's you and I both up here? This first started, space sex interest started in 1992 when the first and only married astronaut couple joined the 50th space shuttle mission and cohabitated in space together. Well, there you go. Hang on a minute. Do they have the, I guess, honour of being the first ones to do it up in space?

Well, the first ones that we know about. Because obviously they did it. Who knows prior to them, maybe people who were in relationships and then weren't public about it. Well, this is the other thing, right? So NASA have a duty of care and they can't say anything. So they hear the sounds, but they can never actually tell you if they were doing it.

Yes. And people apparently, there's lots of comments on TikToks and videos, like more than 9,000, 10,000 comments on the majority of their posts are about positions in sex and space. What would be the best position? You're the Kama Sutra expert. Well, they said the missionary position wouldn't exist because of the microgravity environment. There's also concerns for they're in a phone booth-sized private cabin with sleeping bags strapped to the wall with Velcro.

So it's covered with Velcro. In the same sleeping bag? You could be, I guess. To keep them locked into a space, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you doing the reverse cowgirl in a sleeping bag to keep them locked into a space, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you doing the reverse cowgirl in a sleeping bag? Well, you'd need Velcro on you and Velcro on the wall, and I'd just be sticking you into the Velcro, you know what I mean?

I'm the anchor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone's got to anchor. And the other person can just float around. Exactly, and hold on to the... It makes the jeopardy a bit higher, doesn't it? It does. It really does.

Prepare for landing. Apparently NASA have been offered that much from researchers and documentaries that have wanted to study sex in space. Yeah. And they want it to call it the Uranus experiment. I mean, how basic are we? How basic are we as people? I would watch it too.

I'd volunteer as tribute. I would watch that over the first moon landing. Jess and Darko. Boom, boom, boom. Everybody say it. Millie Millie. Normally says Adam. We had no time to edit it, so we just did it live.

Still, it was great off the cuff. Thank you. Great off the cuff. Nice, guys. Millie Millie, you've been tagged in off the bench, so to speak. You're Darling Adam, unavailable this morning, and you went, I'm in. Let's not keep the guys

high and dry. I'll come in and have a little sporty chat. A hundred percent. Trade him for me. I think you've got the better end of the deal. And you're certainly more media trained. I mean, you're working for Nine now. Look, I would, look, maybe I work a little bit more. I don't think that's called trained. Adam's actually very good

at speaking. He's wonderful. He's witty. He's wonderful. He's witty. He's smart. He's across the news. But, you know, you wear many hats. You know, you're podcasting. You're doing the media stuff. You're doing the commentary stuff.

So it is an honour to have you in. No, it's good to be here. Are you enjoying doing that stuff? Because obviously you're not playing around now. You are pregnant. Congratulations as well. Are you enjoying doing that side of things? I'm loving it.

I'm loving it. I love doing lots of things. I was with an event I was with Jess at an event the other day and we were chatting

about all the different hats that we wear and I've actually just picked up another little gig. On Tuesday mornings I now coach at the gym

that I train at. Stop it. Just because for Pooley at the Basin. So that's where you're going. So I'm off there just to train.

Tuesday mornings are the ones I've just picked up because I've got so much time. Well, that's a great little plug. If you would like to be trained under a dual international four-time premiership player. Oh, wow. She's still got the notes ready. Don't worry. She told me about your opening spirit. Absolutely.

I was like, Millie's is longer than anyone. That's all right. Because many hats needed to be acknowledged. That's it. That's it. But that's an amazing plug. Well, for Pooley and the team at that gym. Come train under Millie Elliott.

Come train. That's it. You know, he's late of Oradop in one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we should. I might not. I'm busy that day. Your man is injured. He's done his calf.

Yeah. How bad are we looking? Look, they reckon it's not great. They have said four to six weeks. But look, I think he'll be back in two to three. He gets really, you'll probably notice this with Adam, he gets really fixated on one thing when it happens. Ninja Creamies he was fixated on for a while.

I would say it's like ADHD, you know, undiagnosed. But I live with him so I can diagnose that stuff. 100%. And he'll be, like, on the minute, like, I've seen it, and doing all of his recovery and everything. Like, he's very, very organic. Eat this, do all that. Yeah.

Bone broth. Which I guess you want to be, right? Yes. Professional athlete, like, what else to focus on? If you're not playing, focus on getting back to 100%. Yeah. Tough game, obviously, a loss for them. They did a lot of defending, a lot of injuries.

Gosh, it was honestly, watching from the couch, I'll tell you what, my heart rate was getting up there. Just the plays that were going off, and then that's also counted as an interchange, so it's less time on the bench for other people. There was one shot, I was telling Jess, it cut over, but it was just Adam. He's obviously been subbed.

He's done his calf early in the game. And they go, the Newcastle have no reserves, and there's Adam, like, in pain, blowing, sucking one of those, like, energy things. And I was like, oh, no. Oh, God, good times. I think he had, like, a three or four-minute stint on the bench, and I'm like, what's the point of that?

That's a waste in itself. Yeah, true. From your perspective, and you are a unique fish because you are a player, an athlete yourself, but now an expectant mom. How hard is it to watch? I prefer to call it wag. Wag? You're clean of the wags.

I think wag now. Absolutely. I'm not playing. Yeah, right. True. I like that. Watching your partner and potentially watching your child do a sport like this, people often ask me, what do you want to see Lucia do?

And I'm like, tennis, swimming. Do you know? Seeing your loved one get crunched over and over. Look, how do you do that? I don't really know. My mum hates watching. She loves it, but she hates it. But I play prop, so maybe if the kid wants to play fullback or

halfback, they get all the money too. So less crunches, more money. Yeah, more passing. But we'll strongly put them into tennis and golf for sure. Absolutely. We're not stupid. We are.

Sorry, we are, but we know what's right. Your kid, Darko's daughter due any day now and we cheer. Right, we are, but we know what's right. Your kid, Darko's daughter, due any day now. And we cheer. Right. They're starting a little swimming club. You guys can swim. A little team. Now, you've got some other sports for us,

because Adam does a full sports rant with different things. Around the world, he goes. It's obscure, so what have you got? Look, we've got Ryan McCormick tapes his mouth during golf tournaments to control his emotional outbursts. Now, yeah, this is interesting. I just think, sorry, his emotions are getting out of control. He's yelling and whatnot.

Yeah. Maybe, one, he's in the wrong sport. But, two, he must have really good nasal breathing to get through 18 holes in the mouth. How can you do that? With a mouth tape on. Have you ever been one of those people that tape your mouth at night when you're sleeping? That craze went around? No, because I've broken my nose and I'd wake up passed out.

So I've had two nose reconstructions and it's still not amazing. But I tell you what, Adam has tried and he gets through maybe 40 minutes and he looks like he's going to pass out. I have to take the tape off for him. He's asleep. He's asleep and he can't breathe. This is what I mean. Fixated though. He'll go to any length to get it done.

But look, I just don't know if... Like playing golf and having your mouth taped. It's giving Happy Gilmore energy. It's a big distraction. It is. It's a bit weird. Because on footy, I suppose if you have emotional outbursts on the field, you sort of can, provided it's not the ref.

It's actually kind of good. You're like, you want to get, it channels as energy to get into defence or if you're running the ball. It's fuel. It's fuel. So I just think maybe, Ryan, you know, you've been a pro for, what, 10, 11 years now. Maybe your time's up, but you could put that energy into something else.

Yeah, time to pivot. Maybe even taekwondo, you know. Oh, yeah. I see. Same at the next Olympics. Get the energy out. You've got one more for us. All right.

So we've had a horrifying moment. A parachutist delivering the match ball for a French rugby match crashes into the roof. He was the third player to come into the stadium, and it was five minutes until kickoff. The two had landed already, and he crashed into the stadium and there was five minutes till kickoff. The two had landed already and he crashed into the roof and was hanging there like. Oh my God, suspended. He was just hanging there.

Yeah. And look, what I will say is he was okay. They saved him. Took 30, 40 minutes for the fire brigade to get up. They cleared the landing below him with all the people. But you know what's annoying? I'm going to go from a player's perspective. I was going to say, you've already done a warm-up

and you're ready to play. So now they have to do another warm-up and they're just... And it's also unknown when you're going to get on there. So it's just anticipation, walking around in the sheds. And like I said, I hate doing warm-ups. And then you've got to do another one.

You're like, seriously, no one cares how the match ball gets delivered. So he's holding onto the ball the whole time. Could he not have just dropped it? I don't think he was. I think maybe one of the others had the ball. What do we even need this guy for? He was hanging on by the roof by his parachute. Crazy, hey.

I always wonder if you always see those things online. Is this a good idea? No, it would turn out it's not. I just think it's like they probably put too many eggs into that basket of that. No one, like, does it really, really matter? Yeah, does it matter? Exactly. Do people care that a guy parachuted in with a ball into a stadium?

They're there to watch the game. Yeah, exactly. So from the player's point, I would be pissed. No more stunts to deliver the balls. Someone run out with the match ball. What happened to that? Are you doing something else pretty cool you wanted to chat about as well? Yes, this weekend we've got our NAB Knights Game Changer program

playing at halftime of the Knights and who are they playing? The Tigers. So it's the third year in a row. Very exciting. And, yeah, we're So it's the third year in a row. Very exciting. And, yeah, we're so lucky to have the support of NIB. We've got 20 participants from Newcastle, 20 participants from Port Macquarie who have been doing our five-week Game Changer program.

So good. And they are playing against each other. It's just two-handed touch. We didn't want to get too crazy out there, you know, without the big boys. I remember you saying last year event, they were, everyone was like, look at the 30,000 strong crowd here for us. The energy was just amazing.

Yeah, and trust me, I'll be reffing. I'll be in between duties with nine, but I'll also be reffing. That's a tough gig. A few 60-goes and whatnot, a few tries I'm sure there will be, and they will hype the crowd up. So if you're going to the game this weekend, make sure you stay. Don't go to the toilet at halftime. Wait until our game is over.

You won't want to miss it. It's great fun. It's for all participants with disabilities. Yeah. And, yeah, it's so special for them to be a part of it. So thank you so much, NIB, for putting that on. It's free for all participants and, yeah, best time ever. It means so much to them as well.

It's incredible. Yeah. Millie was saying the crew got to go to the training sheds and a couple of the boys popped out. Adam, of course. Yes. But what did you say about when KP rolled in? Oh, my gosh.

So KP rolls in, which, like, thanks so much, KP. Also, there's, like, five NRL players standing up there. I'm like, is anyone's favourite NRL player up here? No one really puts their hand up. I'm like, thanks, guys. They're very honest. Obviously, all of their favourite playersRL player up here? No one really puts their hand up. I'm like, thanks, guys. They're very honest. Obviously, all of their favourite players, KP. KP walks in the door and then they are screaming.

There's one girl. She cannot hide her emotion. She goes up. She starts crying and she's like, Caleb. I said, come on, Serena. Pull yourself together. You're no better than the rest of the girls in Newcastle. We'll enjoy it.

Just an amazing, amazing opportunity, and it's going to be awesome. This week. Thanks for coming in off the bench this week. You've been great. No, thank you. Might have to start put ads on the bench next week. Adam, that's a war. It's tough, Carrie.

In this industry, don't go out for too long. 30 seconds, 10 questions. It's all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. If you're untrue to the question, you say pass. We come back to you if there's time. We're playing for $10,000.

Our player today, here he is. Sit up straighter, everyone. We've got Brad. Hello, Brad. Yeah, morning, team. How are we? Oh, couldn't be better, Brad. What's motivating you this morning, my friend? What's going to get you over the line to take this $10,000 home?

Well, I'm actually pretty nervous, but motivation, my fiancé and I are going on holidays in a month, so a bit of spending money would be brilliant. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love that. A little holiday before the wedding, Brad, or are we eloping? Ooh.

We've actually been engaged for about five years. We're never getting married. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we'll just have a holiday. We've got a couple of kids and it's just... I love how Brad's like, this could pay for the holiday, not the wedding. No, no. Well, I'm not sure where you're going, Brad, but maybe you'd like to pivot to Denmark or Dominican Republic.

Deutschland. Or Djibouti, because those places start with D, and that's what you're going to work with. I know. I guess I could have said Daydream Island, but I thought bigger for Brad. Absolutely. He's a Denmark guy. He's a Denmark kind of guy. My friend Crystal lives there.

I can hook you guys up. She's got some recommendations. Are you ready to go? Yeah, yeah. Right to go. Sorry about her, Brad. Hey, man, if I've got a Danish hookup, why wouldn't I give it to Brad? Why not wheel the Danish hookup out when you can, you know?

Yeah, because it's in Copenhagen. All right, ready, Brad? Yeah, right to go. All right. Time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter D. We need you to name a verb.

Pass. A dog breed. Gushown. A shoe brand. Pass. A Steve Carell movie. Despicable mate. A boy's name. David. A clothing item. Pass.

An instrument. Drums. A fast food chain. Pass. Something you find in a shed. Pass. A kid's toy. Donkey.

A verb. Pass. Look, we had a few passes in there. We came around. We answered everything, though. Everything. Ah, look. We had a few passes in there. We came around. We answered everything, though. And everything we answered, we did get. We got half.

We got five. Five of the best. Five of the greatest. I'm not going to get you to Denmark. No, it's not. So I'll kick Crystal's number to myself. You keep Crystal in your back pocket for our next Denmark listener. Yeah.

A verb. That's hard to start with a verb because it gets the brain, you know. Yeah, Babs, why would you put verb, verb? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mean. Yeah. A verb. That's hard to start with a verb because it gets the brain, you know. Yeah, Babs, why would you put verb, verb? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's mean. Yeah. It could have been dive, duck, dodge, dip.

Yeah. Dodge ball. Dodge ball, yeah. Patches of Houlihan would have taught you. A shoe brand could have been Doc Martens, Dunlops. A clothing item could have been dress, a dress shirt. Fast food chain dominoes, something you'd find in a shed, really anything, dolly drill bit, duct tape. Apart from that, everything else you answered, you got correct.

And hey, this might be great for your partner, Brad. $100 to spend at Hair House coming your way just for playing. Yeah, fantastic. Thank you, guys. Maybe Brad needs a new comb? You never know. Ooh, do you reckon Brad has hair, no hair? Or beard?

I thought he was giving hair energy. Did you think bald? Yeah, Brad's going bald at 30. Yeah, I was thinking bald, yeah. Do you think Brad has a beard? I reckon no beard. No beard. Balding and no beard, Brad.

Clean shaver, guys. Ah, we got that. Yeah, there we go. Hey, hey. We haven't played that in ages. Christ, I think we need to pivot. We are 100% playing that next. I want to play the beard game.

Hey, thanks for playing, Brad. Good to chat. That's all right. Thank you. Good luck getting to Denmark. Turns out he hates Denmark. He's never beard game. Hey, thanks for playing, Brad. Good to chat. That's all right. Thank you. Good luck getting to Denmark. Turns out he hates Denmark. He's never liked it. He's actually banned from ever going to Denmark.

He's an enemy of the state. He's not. I'm joking. He's not welcome. Jess and Ducco. How'd you get that beard? I grew it. How'd you keep it so clean?

I said I'm pooing. You sound weird. Do you have a beard? To beard or not to beard? That is the question. The genesis of this game, it's been lost to the trenches of history. Yeah. It was just something we wanted to test our skills on.

Can we pick from your voice alone and a couple of innocuous questions. Yep. Whether you have facial hair or not. It's a great game. So 13, 10, 60. Lads. Lads. We need some turds. Under the dudes with the be not. It's a great game. So 13, 10, 60. Lads. Lads. We need some tits.

Under the dudes with the beards. And this is the thing. You could be clean shaven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could have a full lumberjack beard or something in between. A moustache. Where do we land on moustaches? That's on a beard, I guess.

The game is to beard or not to beard. Yeah, I guess it's got to be beard. If there's moustache involved, sure. But we are talking, I guess, jowls and jaw. Yeah, it's got to be beard. If there's moustache involved, sure, but we are talking, I guess, jowls and jaw. Yeah, it's got to be good. A bit of neck cover. And don't lie as well. We get some people who try and lie. Don't try and trip us up. This is testing our skills.

Yeah. So 131060, dudes. Dudes. With beards or without beards. Yeah, call us. Our job to decipher. We have a little thank you. Yeah. We have a little thank you for getting involved. It's not about us getting it right or wrong, but for your involvement, we'll sling you a little something.

Yeah. It'd be good to fill up your car, wouldn't it? It would be good. I did that the other day. Hooli dooli. Crap's expensive. It's expensive, isn't it? To beard or not to beard.

We were going to do something else here, but we were just talking to Brad in Alpha Box and you brought up his facial hair. You know what we could have done as well? Receding hairline or not receding hairline? Are you balding or not? Balding or not balding? Balding or thick? That's another iteration.

This game's just a gift that keeps on giving. I'm so sad. This is your last second last show before paternity leave. God, it could have been your last. It could be your last. It could be. Morgan could go any time. Have you written that down?

Balding or thick? When I come back, balding or thick? Yeah. Thick or bald? First week of May, whenever you do come back. Who knows? Balding or thick? 13, 10, 60, lads, give us a call.

And then we have to find an iteration for the ladies. Yeah. Mark, ladies could be balding or thick. Laser or no laser? Bare or hair? Yeah, what would you say? Bare or hair? Bare or hair's good. Or hair or bare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laser or no laser. Bear or hair. Yeah, what would you say? Bear or hair. Bear or hair's good.

Or hair or bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or grey. Grey. Down there. No. Grey hair or not. That could be both genders as well, that one.

That's true. Way to make it 2025. I think you should, right? Just opening up to everyone. If you've got a head of hair, you've got a chance. Anyway. If you've got a chin, you've got a chance. As we say in this game, Babs will take anyone.

Put them across. Put them across. We'll get you on next. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Yeah, you get that beard. I grew it. How'd you keep it so clean?

I said I grew it. You sound weird. Do you have a beard? Ducko and I stumbled upon this joint superpower. Yeah. Being able to determine if duds have a beard? Ducco and I stumbled upon this joint superpower. Yeah. Being able to determine if duds have a beard or not, based purely on their voice and a couple of innocuous questions,

one of them not being, do you have a beard? Yeah, we just can't ask that question. Our track record. It's pretty good. Pretty good. I reckon we've only got it wrong. A couple of times. Twice. We'd be pumping at 80%, I reckon.

I think you're absolutely correct there. But I'm feeling a little out of practice. We haven't done it in months. I don't think we've done it this year. It's been a long time between beer drinks. Oh, it has been. A long time between beer days. But you nailed Brad in Alpha Bucks just then,

inspiring us to pivot from the whiteboard and play a version of this game. So our contestant number one, we go to Steve. Good morning, Steve. How you doing, guys? Oh, I've immediately got a vibe. Yeah, I know. I hate when that happens sometimes.

Hey, Steve, what are you up to this morning? Why are you up so early? On my way to work. Okay. Are we allowed to ask what they do? Yeah, I think so. What do you do with yourself, Steve? Tow truck driver.

Tow truck driver. See, it's sounding beardy, but it also makes me feel like it might not be beardy. Because he's sounding so beardy. You know what I mean? Do you think it's too obvious? But see, more often than not, I find... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Steve, what's for dinner tonight?

Have you already thought about it? Or are you just like, I'm going to open the fridge and see what's there? Whatever I feel like when it gets to that point. Oh, he's not a pre-planner. How are you feeling? I'm getting beard energy. Yeah, beard vibe. Steve, you have a beard.

Yes, I do. Yes! Stick to the gut. Good call. The track record is unflammish. Steve, we're going to give you some free fuel to fill up your tow truck, all right? You enjoy it, Steve. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you. All right, we go to Z Steve. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. All right, we go to Zane. Hello, Zane. Hi, mate. It's not Zane Malik from One Direction, is it? No, no, but get that all the time. I bet you do.

I mean, he's the only famous Zane, I guess. Yeah, that's true. Where are you off to today, Zane? I'm at work at the moment. He's already at work. What do you do with yourself, Zane? I'm at work at the moment. He's already at work. What do you do with yourself, Zano? Sparky. Sparky.

Now, what's your gut telling you, Ducko? I'm feeling no. As am I. And not to bring sparkies into disrepute feels dangerous. It's off the head. Because I reckon that would conduct electricity. You don't see a lot of sparkies with beards. No.

I reckon this question will determine it. Okay. Zane, do you wear socks to bed? Yeah, I do. Oh, no beard. No beard for you, Zane. You don't have a beard. Yeah, guys, you're right.

No beard. Yeah. We are so good at this game. Zane, you can also fill up your cards out. Yeah, you got some fuel, mate. Thank you for joining the show. Lovely, thank you. Zaino.

I've got to ask. I'm going to ask Cutbush. Yeah. Do they have to be clean shaven? I reckon that's a safety thing. We could have asked Zain, but he's already talking about it. Nice job. We go to Cephalin.

Good morning, Cephalin. Good morning, guys. How are we? Excellent. Cephalin, very interesting name. Is that a family name? Is there a cultural connection there? It's from the Netherlands.

Oh, okay. Oh my god, that's a hop, skip and a jump from Denmark, bro. It is, we're very close now. We're flirting. It's practically Denmark. Hey, Saffron, what are you up to this morning? What do you do? I'm with my mate Jimmy here. We're on our way to work. Slap a couple of tiles up. Oh, he's a tiler. A couple of tilers.

Oh, you don't earn a pretty penny, Saffron. Oh, not just yet. Still completing the apprenticeship. Okay, he's a Tyler. A couple of Tylers. Oh, you'd earn a pretty penny, Seflin. Oh, not just yet. Still completing the apprenticeship. Okay, he's on base. What car do you drive, Seflin? Mazda BT50. Oh, BT50. Now, Seflin, he's a Tyler.

So that seems like an actual use, not just a shoot. You know, a shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seflin's giving me no beard energy. I'm also kind of getting no beard. Because Jimmy's throwing me off. And I don't know if's giving me no beard energy. I'm also kind of getting no beard. Because Jimmy's throwing me off, and I don't know if I'm picking up Jimmy's energy. I'm kind of getting no beard. When you go to a pub, Cephalon, what do you order?

Ginger beer. No beard. Ginger beer. I'm calling no beard. What do you think? Ginger beer sounds like a hipster who's sober curious and has... Yeah, are you flipping? Are you?

Yeah. No, no, no. Let's go with our gut. You want to go with our gut? Okay. Cephalon. Yeah. You have no beard. Final answer?

Yeah. I do have a beard. Oh! Like the gingerbeard! We really got three from three! I knew it! Damn you, Cephalon! Cephalon. You got us, mate.

Well done. What sort of beard? Do you have like a big bushy lumberjack or just a scrappy ducko beard? Look, I'm pretty proud of what I've been able to grow over the years. Okay. It has got a bit of ginger in it, though, which I don't know how I feel about. Yeah, it happens. It happens.

Irish heritage. Damn it. Saffron still gets fuel. Yeah, you get fuel, Saffron. You got us. I know. We nearly happens. Irish heritage. Damn it. And Saffron still gets fuel. Yeah, you get fuel, Saffron. You got us. I know. We nearly got three from three. Anyway, Saffron, you enjoy the fuel and you enjoy that beard.

Tell Jimmy we said bye. Thank you very much. Jess and Ducco. Right now. For me. Hungry boys and girls out there. Get in my belly. This is a safe space.

No one's going to judge you for getting a little peckish. What's your name? Ducko might play that. But I won't judge you as someone who often needs a little snack attack. A little snack snack. Because I might have worms and I'm just perpetually hungry. That would be a good excuse. Ask me worms.

I've got to feed them. I'm not going to get rid of them, though. They're part of me now. It's so funny to think there's just like a tribe of worms who are eating my dinner and they're not letting me get the benefits of that. So true. It's funny to think about. Yeah, yeah.

But one of my friends told me a story that I went, I wouldn't even do that. Oh, okay. There's a time and place. For a snack. Or is there? My friend Rhys was telling me he was at a wedding. Very formal wedding. Mm-hmm. You get fed at weddings? Well, was telling me he was at a wedding. Very formal wedding. You get fed at weddings?

Well, Ducco, not at the church beforehand. So he and his wife, granted, sometimes you do the communion. I don't want to get the Eucharistic minister here offside. Thank you so much. You can do the little bread, but let's be real, that way, Faye. No, people ask for 10 of those. Rhys is sitting there. His wife is to his left, but you know,

a couple of their friends to the other side. And you know, the priest up there doing his thing, talking about obeying and respecting and all those other wonderful things that the church weddings do. I haven't been to a church wedding in a long time. The last church wedding I went to was Greek Orthodox, and I didn't

understand a word because it was all in Greek. But neither did the bride. So she was like, and then the priest called her Orthodox, and I didn't understand a word because it was all in Greek, but neither did the bride. So she was like, and then the priest called her Alexandra and her name's Cassandra. It was a whole thing. Welcome to the church. Welcome to the church. But yeah, so they're sitting. It's obviously very somber and serious, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's sitting there and he just hears, when it's all very serious and quiet, a rustling. He's like, what's that sound? And your church weddings can be a bit boring. So he's like hot, hot in the church. And all this and stuffy. And he looks to the side and his mate, the wife, is sitting there pulling beef jerky out of her handbag.

What a church snack. What a snack. Little beef jerky. A little beef jerky. And she's trying to, you know, and it's not exactly snappable. No, no. So she's trying to like wrench it. Yeah, yeah.

She doesn't want to obviously bring the whole log to her mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she needs to break off a bit to just pop it in. But she's struggling because the plastic wrapper. So she's trying to rip it. She looks up, catches Rhys looking at her and goes, you want some? You want some of this? And he goes, yeah, why not? Yeah, 100%. So she has to pass it. She looks up, catches Rhys looking at her and goes, you want some? You want some of this? And he goes, yeah, why not?

Yeah, 100%. So she has to pass it down the- He bites it off. He breaks it. She bites it off. She breaks it. Yeah, it's too hard to do again. He's just going to have to gnaw it off.

Yeah. His wife's elbowing him in the ribs. Does she love beef jerky? She loves beef jerky, but she knew reception's not till 6pm. You're not going to be fed for a while. We've got to get through an hour service, let alone cocktail hour. There might not be canapes. I'll just have some handbag jerky.

Why not? Handbag jerky's fantastic. I've heard of a snack attacking. I've never heard of having beef jerky. When you talk about the body and blood of Christ, did you mean it to be beef jerky? It would have been better. Have this. Jeez, the body of Christ got tough.

He's dried out a lot. You know how you all get an individual wafer? It's one thing to hand to each person. Just have a bite of the communal log of jerky. Oh, that's great. Hence my question. When you're hungry, you're hungry.

Oh, yeah. But when did the snack attack? Did you see someone pull out a snack maybe at a very inappropriate moment? Yep. Where were you when the snack attacked? Where were you? Did you get snacky? Oh, was it you? Yeah.

Was it you? Yeah. Because ladies with handbags, it makes life a lot easier to bring the snacks in. I love those videos I see on the Tiki Toki of women pulling out like cheeseburgers from their bra and just having a nibble on the dance floor. Yes. Because they know, can't get food at a club, can you? But I'm going to get hungry when I'm dancing my bum off.

You know what my mum carries in her handbag? Talk to me, Kate. For my papa, for daddy, sesame snaps. I love sesame snaps. Dad loves a sesame snap. Tell me, because Kate, Chris are fancy. Yeah, yeah. You see like those ones with the yogurt sort of snap dried on top.

Oh, no, he just bareback sesame snaps. He's a plain snack. Yeah, he's a plain sesame snack guy. And mum's like, Chris, it's your sesame snack. They think it's healthy. I'm like, it's not. But all right, you just keep punching those. Kate, my blood sugar's getting low.

Pass me my emergency snack. Chris, how do you have a sesame snack? And dad's like, oh, okay. That might be a thing, though. Like, if you know when your glucose levels drop, you know, I need to have my jelly beans or I need to have my beef jerky or my sesame snap in your dad's case. When did the snack attack?

Where were you when you got snacky? When you got snacky or did you witness someone doing this? Because I love the idea that people behind them at the church going, hey, can I have a nibble of that? I'm hungry too. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 6 here.

We're talking where and when did the snack attack? That's right, good mate of mine. Get in my belly! He had a get in my belly moment. Well, he witnessed one, but then he jumped on board. Yeah, yeah. At a very formal, very serious wedding at a church. Love that.

When he heard a rustling coming from his left, he looked over and one of his mates was pulling beef jerky out of her handbag because she got a little snacky. She felt the eyeballs on her and thought, maybe he's just hungry. Offered him some and he went, yeah. You want one? It's always jealousy. So they're passing over this beef jerky,

the respective partners elbowing them both in the ribs. When you're hungry, you're hungry. The bride and groom are like, can I have some? Can I have some? This, can I have some? This church wafer's not doing it for me, and the reception's not till 6pm. That's the thing. You've got to plan the snacks out.

Absolutely. We had some texts come in. Alana said, my boyfriend sent me a video of a guy he worked with pulling a half sandwich out of his pocket and eating it on the job site. He would just have it in there. I don't know if you're lining your pockets with glad wrap, so that's a safe way to just transport a wot ham and cheese. Is that just in there with nothing?

That's similar. My dad, I've told you this, when we would go on lovely family holidays and there was the all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast, my dad would take the fabric napkin, load it up with pastries and danishes. So then later in the day, we'd say, Dad, can we get some chips? Here you go. Here you go. No, it's all right.

I've got a pain au chocolat from seven hours ago that I built it from the buffet. Still just as good. Dad, it's hard. The day my brother and I worked out, we could just hail a waiter without asking his permission. Oh, good times. Change the game. Christy said she had a friend that would bring a brown paper bag to kids' parties and pack it with snacks to take home. So she's stealing from the kids' party.

She's stealing. I don't know about a little pig in blanket making it all the way home. She just ate those then and there. Tamara's called in. Good morning, Tamara. Good morning, good morning. Tamara, have you had a snack attack? I purely based my wedding dress on a snack.

Talk to me, sis. What are we talking? Pockets, ability to put it down your top. Absolutely, pockets. I tried on multiple wedding dresses and I was like, I don't like it. I don't like it. There's something missing. And I tried on one and I'm like, hey, there's a slit in this.

And I was like, you know what that is? That's a snack pocket. And then what did you put in? What was your snack of choice on the wedding day? So I'm a freak for some Nutella. Yep. Oh, my God. That's very schmeary.

How do you snack that? Yeah. So there was absolutely a small jar of Nutella in my pocket, and one of my bridesmaids' mate has had a little spoon for me. Oh, yes. That's so good. I use that. You are flirt with danger.

A white dress. A brown schmear of something. And my other pocket contained a small bottle of Jagermas. Light and shade. That's tomorrow's phone topic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Tamara. I love picking the dress based on the snack.

My kind of girl. Great. Tiffany, good morning. Good morning. When did that snack attack? Look, it wasn't me. Tiffany, good morning. Good morning. I did the snack attack. Look, it wasn't me. It was someone else, but I witnessed it. So I was in a courthouse with the judge and everything waiting.

There was a lady waiting for her matter to be heard, and she had no teeth and was sucking on cheese and bacon balls. She's up for murder. To be fair to our murderous friend, sucking on cheese and bacon balls. She's up for murder. Just trying to find out how long she's going to spend in prison. To be fair to our murderous friend, cheese and bacon balls are a lease. You don't need teeth for cheese and bacon balls. They were even like the no brand. They weren't even there.

She's up against it, dear. You make a good point, though. You don't need teeth for them. You can just put them in. They'll dissolve. Like a twisty that's hard to suck down to the bone. God forbid she ever have a minty. She offered them around

to everyone at Leek. The jury's like, well, actually I don't think she did do it. She's giving me cheese and bacon. Yeah, is that impacting the jury? Oh, yeah. You can't do that. Quizmaster Babs It's words of my own. Word up. You took the word right out of my mouth. Word, Yoki.

Quizmaster Babs in studio. Good morning, Babs. Good morning. Having a rough trot today, she is. She is. Should we quickly dive into that? Well, tell us what's going on. Would you like to? Well, I've been feeling uncomfortable all morning.

I just went to the toilet and realised I've put my undies on backwards, but because I've been adjusting them because they felt weird, I've ripped them. So now you've got ripped backwards undies. Are you going commando? No, no, no. Or the waistband. Did you spin them back around?

No, because I have to take my shoes off and my jeans. And you've got Doc Martens on and jeans. Hang on, so where did they rip? Not the waistband. No, like up my bum. Yeah, because she's pulling it so tight. How hard were you getting? I don't know.

She was giving it a go. Oh, how flimsy are your underpants? Yeah, they might be old. Cheeky Thursday. They are old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I am thinking she's wearing one. I haven't done my washing in a while.

Just finding what I can. At the end of the pile. Just surviving, you know. Anyway. All right. Well, now that we've talked about that. Let's see if that headspace has filtered into her words today. Yep.

Here I go. Come on. She's going to give us a bunch of words. We are going to try to sing a song that has those words in them. This is Ducko's last word-a-yokey without a child in his life. I know. I'm going to keep saying last like I'm dying. I just really like the idea.

Everything's going to shift. And your head will shift. Yes. But Babs, let's rip in. All right. First word is cool. Cool banana motorama. No.

Oh. Cool banana motorama. No. Cool beans. Cool. Shut up! You're so. All I can think is LL Cool J. You're so vain. She's a cool man. Majama.

Is that a song? I made it up. I was going to say it's cooler than me, but that's cooler. Cool Kids? Do you remember that song? No, he's not. I wish there were cool kids. Could you like the cool kids?

So we won't accept Cool Banana Motorama? No. It was a great campaign. You stopped after you said that. Cool Banana Motorama! What was that? Maybe that was just a Queensland thing. I don't know.

I grew up. Motorama? No one got it? Okay. Your passion and gusto. A plus. Okay.'t know. I grew up. Motorama. No one got it? Okay. Your passion and gusto. A plus. Okay. All right.

Another word. Drug. Oh. Your love is my drug. Your love is my drug. Nice. These songs that we play, I don't know the words. Don't we just play them so much?

Sorry. I don't know why I gave you a... Sorry. You got it. I don't know why I did that. I love Shy Guy. I'll put a little video up, the point. When he knows he's got it, just stares Babs down.

Strike. Point to Shy Guy. All right, next word is people. I'm here with all of my people. Bah! Nice. I'm here with all of my people. I hate it when I don't get off at all off the ground first.

Everyone goes, the pressure just builds, doesn't it? Yes, but you haven't got a point on the board yet. I know. This was last week. Robertine Babs. Yeah, I know. You don't have a point. When Charga wins, everyone loses.

That's fair. That's fine. Come on, Darko, lift! Next word is want. I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I need you to need me. Null and void. It was a tie.

Ah, damn. All right. Next word is catch. Catch my disease. How does it go, though? Catch. Catch my disease. Catch.

Oh, please, baby, please just catch my... See, that's really out of tune. No, but you had a good track. I'll give you that. I'll be allowing that, though. I feel like I stole it from you. I think I stole from Shy Guy last time and it was awarded, so I'm going to award it.

It's my fault for thinking out loud. Yeah, okay. All right, everyone's on the board now. Next word is talks. Oh, is talks. Dirty talks. I like it, baby, when you talk. Talks.

Talks to me. Talks. I like the way you talks. Dirty talk. It's all singular, babs. Dirty talk. I am the angel. Norwegian or something. I like the way you do that stuff to me.

I am the angel. Dirty talk. Love it when you talk. Dirty when you talk. You could have had everybody talks. It started with a whisper. You know that song? Everybody talks.

Yeah. Talk was easy. Talks. Yeah. That's why you did it, isn't it, Babs? You cheeky monkey. I'm just throwing you off, you know? You deserve the win.

Okay. Is this for the win, Babs? You know what? You're taking a while, so I'm going to say yes. All right. Okay. All right. Are you ready?

So we're all in it for the win. You're all in it for the win. You can't fight this stuff. Yeah, I feel like this is a nice way to finish. Come on. Are you ready? Yes. The word is sister.

Sisters. Oh, sisters. Sister. Sister. Sister. Sister. Sister, sister. Sister. Sister. Me and my sister. You're my sister?

She's my sister? Dan, I can't get sisters in a minute. Can we still be friends forever? Choo-choo. What? Trank. Give me a clue. Hey, soul sister.

And Mr. and Mr. on the radio. Point to Shy Guy. Thank you. And the win for a second week in a row. That felt thin. I was thinking drops of Jupiter, but... Sorry, I thought a little clue might have been fun. Well, guess what?

You've just made Shy Guy win. Yeah, that's right. You've ruined Ducko's last word-a-yokey. I'm sorry. Do better. That really hurt. No, well done, Mr. Guy. Well done, Mr. Guy. Good effort. Good effort. Are you guysa-yokey. I'm sorry. Do better. That really hurt. No, well done, Mr. Guy. Well done, Mr. Guy.

Good effort. Good effort. Are you guys going to play next week on my way? Just you two versus each other? I think we've got some other games coming up we might try. Yeah, we're going to talk about soup. Don't spoil it all. Stick around for next week.

Hey, up next, I'm announcing who's replacing me out of you three for doing the anchoring and talking out of the songs. I was going to say, you made us audition and have left us stewing in our own juices. So coming off the back of the next song, you will hear the voice that will be doing it next week and then they're going to solicit for Alpha Bucks 8. Okay, I tell you the call. Babs, you better stay in studio, Babs.

Here we go. Well, we know it's not going to be me. Let's be real. There's Dolce. Anxiety. You're with Jess and Ducko on hit. Alpha Bucks coming up. $13,1060.

$10,000 on the line. We won't tell you your letter just yet, though. Yay! Is that enough? Shy Guy will be taking over the anchor and panelling job. It won't be great. Ducko is on paternity leave. We all auditioned yesterday.

Babs, how do you feel? Off the hook. You're not in the hot seat. I'm crying. No, I'm just kidding. That's all right. Your audition for Triple't be great. Duck always on paternity leave. We all auditioned yesterday. Babs, how do you feel? Off the hook, you're not in the hot seat. I'm crying. Your audition for Triple J was great. I'm so happy. There's no chance you catch me doing that. Have you fielded any LinkedIn requests or emails being poached from Triple J? Yeah, I've been getting a lot of emails at the moment just saying like,

come apply here. I'm like, oh, I can't, sorry. You're happy in this role? Yeah, so many. I got weirdly protected. I was like, oh, I can't, sorry. I can't. You're happy in this role? Yeah, so many. I got weirdly protective. I was like, who's been here? Our boss yesterday said to me, do you actually know how to do this? I'm like, the first time I hired you in Sydney when you told me you knew how to do something and you didn't.

I was like, ah, we got this. This industry is all fake it till you make it. Yeah, come on. All right. So that's what you're here next week. Absolutely. Shaga will be sitting in the hot seat, pressing the buttons. Yeah.

And you're going to have energy. Remember what we said. It's not my brand to have energy. Everyone knows that. I know. Look, without Ducko here and just me, that seesaw is way too much of a wild ride. We'll have all the buttons. We'll have all the grabs.

We'll be right. It's fun, man. All the buttons. What are you going to do if you come back? And he's rearranged your buttons. No, I won't do it. I know radio person to radio person. You don't touch my buttons, man.

That's like sleeping with my wife. That's what that is. You don't do that. That's indecent proposal territory. Make a backup now in case I do wreck it. Chugga would never touch my buttons. No. Well, he is going to touch your buttons,

but he won't rearrange your buttons. Yeah, okay. He won't rearrange them. You know, if an opportunity arises for him to play, you want him to be able to play it. He wants to play it. But you then need to come back in four weeks and know that where you left is where you left it. But you know where it is without having to really look at it. Because I don't.

So I'll be about five seconds after. Because Ducca and I have a secret language. Well, you know, sometimes I throw him way under the bus. But he knows what I mean when I want something. That's exactly what I wanted. That's exactly what you wanted. But Shy Guy and I don't have that same. If I don't know where to, I'll just play something random

and we'll just run with it. Yeah. So yes, Shy Guy taking over. Your audition was exceptional. And the reason Shy Guy got over you, Jess, perhaps you were never in the running, is because I think you need to break up the talking. I think you absolutely. So somebody needs to break you up.

Thank you very much for that consideration. Yep. It is only, it's a short week next week with obviously Good Friday being a public holiday. Oh, it's Friday public holiday. It's a four-day week, babe. Okay. You guys are taking the piss. Your daughter could not have come at a more perfect time. What a public holiday. Oh, it's Friday public holiday. It's a four-day week, babe. Oh, okay. You guys are taking the piss. Your daughter could not have come at a more perfect time.

What a radio kid. In terms of not disrupting us very much. I know. So, yes. Very good. Lucia was born over that Christmas period. Exactly. And then you got to take maternity leave.

Yeah, yeah. And now I get to take paternity leave. But let's play Alpha Bucks. So, Shaga, what's the number? 13, 10, 60. How much do we have? 10 grand. Who's going to play?

Call and find out. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on Hit. $10,000 on the line. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice.

If you're unsure of the question, say pass. We come back if there's time. Our player today is Aubrey. Hello, Aubrey. Hello. Aubrey, we couldn't be better, darling. We are going to give you $10,000 if you're willing to execute. Are you willing and up to the job?

Sure am. Yeah, he's ready. Great attitude. Where are you right now? Are you at work? No, I'm on my way out to work. What do you do with yourself? I'm a landscaper. Landscaper. Jeez, it's been a day for trades. Has it? When you say this morning, we've had a Tyler, we had a Rufa.

Sparky. Sparky. Now we've got a young Aubrey. What do you want to do with $10,000? I'd love to pay my mum back to put braces on my teeth. I'd love to give her money back. Wow. What a son.

That is amazing. And what an omen, Ducko. Your letter's B, Aubrey. B for braces. That's a good letter. You good, Aubrey? You good with that? You feeling a little muffled from Aubrey?

He does feel a bit muffled. Are you on speaker? I thought that might work itself out. Yeah, I am on speaker. There we go. I don't want to miss a trick, Aubrey. Would you mind taking us off so we can hear you nice and crystal clear? Yeah, I sure can.

Thank you. Yeah, great. Yeah, because we don't want to miss anything. We don't want to. When there's $10,000 on the line to pay Mama Aubrey back. Oh, yeah. We can't be going, sorry, technicality, didn't hear what you said there. Oops.

All right. That's better. Okay. Aubrey, ready to rock? Yeah, sure am. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter B. We need you to name a breakfast food.

Red roll. A city. Bendiga. A clothing item. Beanie. An instrument. Banja. A clothing item. An instrument. A boy's name. A verb. A fashion brand.

A dog breed. I don't know. A celebrity. Oh, my God. I thought he was on there. We were pretty close, weren't we? He was killing it. Yeah.

I think we pretty much, everything we answered, we got. Yep. We just ran out of time. I think we were two away. Hurry up. You were very close. Oh, we're three away, so we ran out of time. So, okay, a dog breed could have been beagle, bulldog, boxer, border collie,

a celebrity, Ben Steeler, Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt. And then the last one we had for you, which I think you would have nailed, was a three-letter word, which we didn't get to. Bib. Bra. You were very close there, Aubrey. Aubrey, we were so close to paying off your mum. Great player, too.

Bendigo, one of the great answers. Absolutely. Look, you don't get the bracelets paid back your mum, but you can give her this just for playing $100 suspended hair house. Beautiful, thank you. You know, it's all to do with the head, teeth, hair, whatever. Thank you, Aubrey. Aubrey, great to have you on.

I want to ask you a question for our next phone topic because on 131060 you're asking what does your man think he can do? There's been a new study out that says a set amount of men think they can beat a horse. Yeah, man, one in 50. One in 50 could beat a horse in a short-distance running race. Do you think you could take on a horse, say, over 30 metres, Aubrey? Definitely reckon I could.

Yeah. We line up Aubrey and Black Caviar, and Aubrey's like, I've got it. I'm quick. Yeah. We line up Aubrey and Black Caviar. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Aubrey's like, I've got to take. I'm quick. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, that might be two in 50 now with Aubrey putting that in. Jess and Ducco. Dob your man in.

13, 10, 60. What does your man think he can do? I'm a man who discovered the wheel. Some new research would suggest that duds are maybe, correct me if I'm wrong, Ducko, overestimating their physical abilities. Well, we did this last year. I think it was last year that we had the,

when the men think they could land a plane in an emergency. And then we got my cousin on who's a pilot for Virgin, and he's like, you'd all die. There's not a chance. But we had that very convincing rice cooker. I apologize. I don't remember your name. You went, it's all simulators now. It's all automated. There's not a chance. But we had that very convincing rice cooker. I apologize. I don't remember your name. Neither, yeah.

Saw simulators now. It's all automated. I could press that button. I could talk confidently and calmly to ground. Did it crosswind? Yeah, hilarious. It was very funny. But now there's been a new study done by Freebets.com over in the UK.

This was all done by UK for UK people for the Grand National, which is a massive horse race in England, right? One in 50 men think that they could beat a horse in a 100-metre sprint race. 100 metres. One in 50 men think they could do it. I'm going to need you, firstly, to answer the question. Are you one in 50, Ducker? No, I've seen horses at full sprint. Thank you.

Horses at full tilt are majestic. What do you think the one in 50 man who goes, yeah, I've seen horses at full sprint. Horses at full tilt are majestic. What do you think the one in 50 man who goes, yeah, I could take on Winx, I could absolutely beat Winx in a race, what are they thinking? Ah, it's a big creature, it'd slow them down. The drag.

The drag factor. I'm svelte. Me off the ground, I'll be lower to the ground. How's this? The fastest horse ever recorded going up to a speed of 64 kilometres an hour, Usain Bolt,

fastest man ever recorded, 43 kilometres an hour. So by extension, do they think they could beat Usain? I guess. Or is it the animal factor? No, no, they'd never. Usain Bolt, fastest man ever recorded, 43km an hour. So by extension, do they think they could beat Usain? I guess. Or is it the animal factor? No, no, they'd never beat Usain. Never beat Usain. Animals-wise, they just think, okay, let's take a racehorse out of the equation. Let's just say an average horse.

Oh, okay, just an average farm horse. Or Big John. Who's not getting 64km an hour, even if they're only getting 40 or 35, still quick. For 100 metres. 100 metre sprint. And it's not like you're getting them, you know, no technicality. Oh, I got spooked by the starter's gun. I'd get a leg up. No, no.

You, via horse, come on. But then they get other animals they think they can outpace. So 27% of men reckon they could beat a crocodile in a race. See, I think I could take a crocodile down. On land or on the water? Land. Not on water. I was going to say.

No, no way on water. But on land. Hawks move, man. They do move fast. But, come on. You? Land. Not on water. Oh, I was going to say. No, no way on water. But on land. Crocs move, man. They do move fast. But, come on, you could beat a croc in a race. I don't know, man. Has this 20% reckon they could beat elephants? I have not seen an elephant at full speed.

Oh, I've not seen an elephant at full speed. So I can't comment on that. You wouldn't want to get in its way. No, you wouldn't. But also an elephant has the advantage. Three steps. It's like me and you. Three steps to an elephant.

He's done the 100 metres. Do you know what I mean? He might not be running at pace, but they're trying. Anyway, what else? 11% record they could outspread a house cat over 10 metres. BS. House cats are so quick. They are unbelievably quick.

That's someone who's never lived with a cat. Obviously. Women are unsurprising. Not surprising here. They were more open to admitting they'd lose a non-human creature race than men. Remember that one that went viral? A bunch of men going, yeah, I could score a point off Serena Williams. That's right.

Come on! Yes, just one point. We've seen so many iterations of this, haven't we? It's great. 61% reckon they could beat a dog in a race. It depends on the dog, though. But even my fat dog, when he opens up. Oh, I could beat Gianni in a race.

Let's actually test that. Because when he opens up. Over 30 metres? He'll be gassed. But when he opens up at the park. Oh, he goes for it. Because he's. I could not beat Pam.

She's quick. She is quick. She's fast. I'd love to actually see you take on Gianni. Yeah, in a 30 metre race. Honestly. We should do it. The issue is keeping him on track.

I'll have a whole chook at the end of the line. That's interesting. Okay, has this 19% reckon they could beat goats in a race? I've never seen a goat move. I've not seen a goat in full tilt. You could not take a goat up a mountain, though. Have you seen how good they are on a rocky ledge? They're great up mountains.

They're unbelievable. They're fantastic up mountains. 22% are confident they could lift a chimpanzee off the ground despite chimps weighing up to 60 kilos. I mean, if you can deadlift pretty well, you could deadlift a chimp. And are we taking out the fact that the chimp might claw your eyes out? Yeah, I think so. Just the chimp is chilled and ready to be lifted.

I love these. And then 18% would back themselves in an arm wrestling match against a chimp. Oh, no way! No way! 72% of blokes reckon they could beat most animals in a feat of strength. Oh my god! And the issue is, Dago, you so very

rarely, I don't know if ever, will be able to prove this. You can't, yeah. That's why, Talay, I could beat a lion. Absolutely, I could. I'm never going to face a lion. Have you seen that zoo? Maybe it's in the Canberra Zoo, the big zoo in Canberra. Yeah, yes. Jabala, where you can do tug of war. Oh, that's cool.

With a tiger. And the tiger has one end of the rope, obviously, behind her glass. Yeah, yeah. And the other is for, it's always blokes trying to tug a war tiger. Watch this, babe. And more often than not, the tiger does one motion of her head and brings the guy slamming into the club. Oh, I bet. There's no way.

There's no way. So 13, 10, 60, what do you think your man, what does your man think he could do? We go to Glenn quickly, though. Good morning, Glenn. Good morning, guys. How are you doing? Oh, we couldn't be better, Glenn.

What's your take on this stat? One in 50 blokes reckon they could beat a horse in a race. Well, firstly, I'd like to say I'm a fencer and I carry bags of concrete. I could easily pick up a 60-kilo gym. Yeah, I think you probably could. I think you probably could pick up a 60-kilo gym. 60 kilos doesn't feel too big. Absolutely.

But just on what you were saying before, a guy that works for me, AJ, used to be a representative sprinter in Moree, and he once beat a horse over 100 metres. Shut up. This was actually tested. Actually, it was done at a racing festival, like a horse racing festival out in Moree, a fully famous one, and they set up him and another bloke, and they did like a relay,

and AJ beat the horse over the first 100, and the second bloke finished it off and beat it over the second 100. Now, pardon my ignorance, Glenn, was someone riding the horse or the horse was just going, sort of knew the track? Yeah, it had a jockey on it. It did have a jockey. Yep. Wow.

I want to see video footage of that. 100 metres is a long way. I don't know if it exists. It is. It is a very long way. I actually didn't believe him, and I kind of still don't. I'm not going to lie. We have no vision.

We have no proof. Yeah, okay. still don't. I'm not going to lie. But we have no vision. We have no proof. Yeah, okay. Apparently it is documented. There's some festival of horse racing up in Moree. Can you text AJ? If you're in Moree, just call. Did you witness AJ and the other bloke beating a horse on foot?

Yeah, yeah. It just doesn't fit. Are you one of the 72% of men, Glenn, that reckon they could beat an animal in a feat of strength? Probably a rabbit. See, that is a man with a head on his shoulders. Thank you, Glenn. Thanks for that contribution.

Let's do it. What does your man think he can do? And I'll open it up. Blokes, what do you reckon you could do? I'm a man who discovered the wheel. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60.

What does your man think he can do? Is it overachieving? I'm a man who discovered the wheel. Or overestimating their own abilities. I love this one, Ducko. Who was it? LJ has said, My husband has mentioned a few times that if he were attacked by a tiger or a lion, anything, really, he would just, and I quote, punch it.

It's like people reckon if they get attacked by a shark, I'd just punch it between the eyes. Who was that so far? Mick Fanning. Yeah, he has done absolute damage to the male psyche thinking I could just take that on. I could be a shark. One in 50 men think, yes, they can beat a racehorse over a 100-meter sprint, which is unbelievable. Others reckon they could beat crocs, which I agree.

Elephants. Something they could outrun. House cats, dogs, emus. No one's outrunning an emu. But majority of men reckon they could beat an animal in an arm wrestling match or some form of physical feat. Posted it on Instagram, Ducco. What does your man think he can do?

Dana said multitask. He cannot. But he could beat a tiger. He could beat a tiger. Micaiah, good morning. Morning. How are you guys doing? Excellent.

Thank you. Is this something you think you can do? Yeah, I'd drop a kangaroo. No problem at all. Bring it on. I'm'd drop a kangaroo. No problem at all. Two, three. Bring it on. I'm stronger than a kangaroo. Man, I would sidestep and get it with the left hook.

See him. Good night. First round. He's thought about this, Micaiah. Micaiah, the kangaroos. I would never want to come face to face and square it with a roof. 100%. Do you get some of those big jacked ones that you see and they bounce off their tail?

I know the tail. They only got little T-Rex arms that can't reach up. My guys, I've got the reach. I've got the reach to take them off.

I've got the reach with me. And I want to say one thing quick, you ain't going to miss nothing when you have the kids. The only thing you're going to miss is probably working with the two hotties

that you get to be in the studio with. Fine. And Shy Guy. He's a hamster. Catch him, Shy Guy. Catch him, you just got my cat. Thank, and Shy Guy. He's a hamster. Catch him, you and Shy Guy. Catch him, you just got my cat. Thank you, Micaiah.

Oh, let's go to Kelly. Hi, Kel. Good morning. Firstly, I want to say, where are all these men coming from that think they can do this? Amen, sis. Amen. They aren't on the Central Coast. They're definitely not.

What does your man think he can do? Well, like, he retired from soccer, like, three, four years ago, and he's decided this year that he's coming back. Okay, so you're saying he thinks he can come back and make a return to, you know, physical sport? It's not going to happen. Even last week he was dizzy dizzy so he couldn't play. He was like, I'm so dizzy.

Do you say 65? 65. Oh, my God. Do I sound that old? No, sorry. I thought I heard a six. It's 55. That's just an injury waiting to happen.

55. Yeah. But like he's playing in the Golden Comp, which everybody has to be over a certain age, like 53.5 or something. Hilarious. It is so funny. Like, we cannot wait. We are all, we've got bets on whether he's going to score,

whether he's going to die, whether we need to defib. What a great cheer squad. Come watch me hubby. He could die. He could die. Of our life. Hugo's called in. Good morning, Hugo.

Hello. How old are you, Hugo? Seven. Seven. Is this How old are you, Hugo? I think seven. Seven. Is this something you think you can do? Yeah, I could. I think I could be my sausage dog Neil in 100 metres. You could beat Neil.

Hugo, if you didn't beat your sausage dog in 100 metres, I'd be concerned. Has Hugo got those little legs? I mean, they can move, those little legs. Neil. Yeah. Neil's a great name too. Hey.

Hugo, do you reckon you could beat a, can I talk to Hugo again? Sorry, I'll get him back up. Just one more question. Hugo, do you reckon you could beat a racehorse though? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, no, they're getting me young. He sounded hesitant with Neil the sausage dog, but race horse.

I've got you. Hey, we're getting some texts in as well, because I reckon I could be your Rhodesian Ridgeback, who's not an average one. He's a bigger one. He's a bigger one. Wider one. In a 30-meter sprint, people are saying that I'm backing Gianni

in the 30-meter sprint. Wow, against the duck, man. I mean, you are a runner. You're fit. You know, take your dog out a lot. I'm more a long distance than a sprinter, but over 30 metres. We're going to test that today. I'm going to go and race Johnny.

Yeah, we're going to try and work out. If anyone's got any advice, I'm thinking whole chook at the end. Yeah, you've got to give him some food to run for. Because that would also motivate you, I imagine. You love a rotisserie chicken. I do love a rotisserie chicken. So me and Johnny, whoever gets the chicken first gets it. That's a great prize.

I'm excited for this. Yeah, the past couple of weeks or so, But that's a great prize. Jess and Ducko. I'm excited for this. Yeah. The past couple of weeks or so, we've been working behind the scenes, Ducko, to create something for you. A manual of sorts. I know that you and Morgan have read a lot, listened to a lot, spoken to a lot of people about what to expect. And let's be real, nothing can prepare you for what it's going to be like. The joy, the laughter, the adventure, the challenges. Yes.

It's all in theory until you're experiencing yourself. But I personally found the best advice came from people I loved, respected, and admired. So the past couple of weeks, we sent out many emails, sent out a few phone calls and requests for some dad words of wisdom, some nuggets of advice from people in your life and people I know you admire. Cool. And here is a bespoke dad manual for Ducko, and I guess by extension Morgan, but we really did ask,

if there's one thing you could have been told before becoming a dad, what would that piece of wisdom be? Enjoy. Hey, Ducko, it's Dad here, and you're about to become a dad, so relax and enjoy it. It's great fun. But just remember, kids imitate everything, so beware of your behaviour because when they become little people you'll

suddenly see your behavior coming back at you what you say what you do it's a bit scary but you and morgan have great instincts and will make fantastic parents and your mum and i can't wait to meet our granddaughters Let fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Darko, congrats, mate. Joel, buddy, Yuzi, my advice for you is if you enjoy, like, recreations like tennis, play them now, mate, before the baby's born because you won't have time afterwards for probably five years. And just get used to picking up hair ties, mate. I know you're having a baby girl, so just hair ties all over the house.

I don't know why. I mean, your dog will eat a few of them, and you'll probably have to pick them out of their poo. But anyway, mate, enjoy and suck on the laughing gas in labour. Hey, Ducko, Nate here, mate. Just want to send my congrats to you and Morgan. Obviously, it's been a rollercoaster of a ride to get here, but at the end of the day, you're at the fun point now,

so enjoy the chaos. It's going to be hectic, but at the end of the day, just love each other and all the best. G'day, Ducko. Your old friend Tom here. Congratulations on becoming a dad. You're in for a wild ride, let me tell you, but it's beautiful and it's fun and it'll change your life.

Try not to sweat the small stuff. G'day, Darko. It's Aidan here, mate. Little words of wisdom from one girl dad to another. It's okay to really, really, really like the Disney movies. Myself, Elsa, Anna, Moana, we've all been on some great journeys together. It's all about enjoying that time with your little ones. So enjoy.

Hi, Ducco. It's Ward here. You just wanted to give you a bit of advice for the next 150 years of having children in your family. I've got none. You just have to make it up like everyone else. But I'm here if you want to discuss any of your good ideas at any time. Good luck.

All the best. Hi, Ducko. This will affect you for the rest of your life. Be a proud parent. Ducko, it's Fitzy here. And my advice is, mate, go for it. It was the best time of my life. And, well, I went over and went into the college system for basketball.

So, mate, partying every night. I had a great fraternity and i just what was that it's going on paternity oh paternity oh okay sorry paternity leave g'day ducko it's fitzy here my advice is don't do it mate it will ruin your life it has for me got two boys two boys. Ducco, it's Gussie here. I've been asked to give you a bit of advice as a girl dad. Mate, the honest truth is none of us know what we're doing. So if you love this little girl even half as much as you love Pam, everything is going to be okay. And just support Morgan in these first few months

and then enjoy the ride, mate. It's going to be fun. Don't do that. Hey, Ducco, it's Adam here, mate. I just wanted to give you some dad advice. The advice I've got for you is you are always right. Don't let them trick you. Don't let them think they've got the upper hand.

You've always got to let them know you are right. Hi, Ducco, it's Jason Hoffman here. Mate, if there's one bit of dad advice I'll give you, it's to not teach your child to play golf like you. But on a serious note, a great bit of dad advice I'll give you. It's to not teach your child to play golf like you. But on a serious note, great bit of dad advice I got was to just savour every moment. Time flies when you're having fun, so they say. And those early years go way too fast. So savour every moment and take plenty of photos of your beautiful wife with the child.

Because quite often it's the dads that get the glory with the photos. So take plenty of footage of your wife with your child. That's the one bit of advice I'll give you. Taco Larry, Emity here, mate. I've jumped on to give you some super dad advice. Okay, here's the thing. Now, my wife wanted me there the whole time during the birth of our first child, Jai. I was at the pub, but from then on, I've been a really good dad for 95% of the time. So my advice to you is? I don't know. I'm the first to ask.

Good luck. Lots of love. My baby love. My baby love. Ah! Oh, that's funny. That's some great people in there. Great little nuggets of wisdom.

Good advice from all the dads. Very diverse advice. There are a couple of girl dads in the mix there with some specific intel for you, but I think the resounding message is just how fast it'll go. So from the ups and the downs, savour every moment. Watch Moana and enjoy it.

Embrace all the chaos that comes with it. Thanks guys. That was nice. That was really nice. A few people have been there obviously from the beginning of your journey there. Nathan there, proud rice cooker who has helped me out with all the fertility stuff comes with it. Thanks, guys. That was nice. That was really nice. A few people have been there, obviously, from the beginning of your journey there. Nathan there, proud rice cooker who was... Helped me out with all the fertility stuff as well. Been through it himself. So I was mentioning him last night, actually.

Oh, no way. That was really nice. Your dad, obviously, at the top there. Chris Allen, a current affair journalist. You could hear it. You could hear it, couldn't you? Sent me three versions of his video. He slipped into journalist mode, didn't he?

His first version. Hello, this is my son having a baby. His first version was great. He went, hang on a minute, my shirt was dirty. I said, okay. So he got changed. I went, hang on a minute, Kate, your mum has just told me I'm too shiny. I've got to find a better corner of the house.

So there is an accompanying video for you. It's going to go up on the Jess and Ducko Instagram in the next few minutes. So you can reflect when you need on your manual. But I think and I hope it shows you the support around you and your community. Appreciate it. Thanks, guys. That was really nice.

Yes, and Daco. That was this. Two tickets to MJ the Musical. It is Tony Award winning. It's been thrilling audiences at Sydney Lyric Theatre. It's the biggest entertainment event of the year. Oh, it's fantastic. You could be there, but not just going there and having to drive home.

No, no, no. No. Complete your visit with a perfect stay at Novotel Sydney on Darling Harbour. Book today, but we will throw in a night's accommodation so you can make a whole thing of it. Had some great contributions today, obviously. What does your man think he can do after? One in 50 men reckon they could beat a racehorse.

That's right. We actually are waiting on the footage of allegedly a man called AJ beating a racehorse in Moray. Yep. I'm going to race Jarnie today. Honourable mention to Glenn for sharing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, you are racing Jarnie.

I've just had word from Angus. Yes. We get a lovely girl called Ellie come take him to the park. Oh, yes. Because it's just freaking hard with the kid. Anyway, today was a park day, Ducko, so there is blood in the water. Oh, I'm going to be tired. The big fella, the 48-kilo Ridgeback, might be puffed.

But usually one park play will wipe him out three days. So we're going to just still do it. See how we go with a roast chook as motivation for both of you. But it was earlier this morning. We did 131060. Did you get a little snacky? That's right. After a friend of mine witnessed a woman in a church wedding

pulling out beef jerky from her handbag. We get it. We're hungry people. Tamara called up, told us this. I purely based my wedding dress on a snack. Talk to me, sis. What are we talking? Pockets, ability to put it down your top.

Absolutely, pockets. I tried on multiple wedding dresses and I was like, I don't like it. I don't like it. There's something missing. And I tried on one and I'm like, hey, there's a slit in this. And I was like, you know what that is? That's a snack pocket. And then what did you put in?

What was your snack of choice on the wedding day? So there was absolutely a small jar of Nutella in my pocket. And one of my bridesmaids' mate has had a little spoon for me. Hilarious. That's so good. I used, that is, you are flirt with danger. A white dress. A brown schmear of something.

And my other pocket contained a small bottle of Jager, Michael. We loved that, Tamara. Yep. So take a little thing of Nutella and a bottle of Jager to MJ the Musical, sis. Congratulations, Tamara. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. She had a mouthful of Nutella.

Yeah, she was eating Nutella. I could feel the limo just swallowing out. She's been shot a Jager pre coming on air. Hey, if you want the tickets, enjoy the little staycation. Enjoy the musical. Beautiful. Thank you so much, guys. Thanks for getting involved in the show, Tamara.

Our last two tickets and that last hotel room tomorrow. Yes. As we wrap up with Ducko before paternity leave starts. It's my last show. Once again, I'm not dying and I will be back. Because if I say yesterday and I said something about before Ducko finishes up and they were like, what? I'm like, no, no, no.

Not forever. Paternity leave. Imagine that. We just call it. I'm out of here. See you. Hey, that kid might arrive and you go, um. Perspectives changed. Perspectives changed. I'm going to live off the land. Absolutely. Ooh, go off grid. Yeah. Could be. See you. Hey, that kid might arrive and you go, um. Perspectives changed.

Perspectives changed. I'm going to live off the land. Absolutely. Ooh, go off grid. Yeah. That could be fun for you. But no, I'll be back on tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be all well.

And I'm looking forward to the last show of the gang for a little while. It'll be fun. Yes, absolutely it will be. Let's get rowdy, team. Let's get rowdy. Should I go bring snacks? Ooh. Bring snacks for the two.

We could do that. What's a team beef jerky? Yeah, team jerky. No, I've never had jerky. Haven't you? Freaks me out a bit. Don't reckon you'd like it. What is itunch snacks for the two. We could do that. Or some team beef jerky. Yeah, team jerky. No, I've never had jerky. Haven't you? It freaks me out a bit. Don't reckon you'd like it. What is it?

Nah, dried meat. It's dried meat. It is, yeah. It's good, though. It's an acquired taste. It's salty. Salty. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I think you'll like it. I do like it. We'll get some jerky and some sour worms. Oh, yeah. Oh. Sour worms are always a tough carry, huh? He does like sour worms.

But let's think of something breakfast-related. That's a nice farewell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's as early is a tough carry, huh? He does like sandworms. But let's think of something breakfast-related. That's a nice farewell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's a good little snack in the delivery suite. Oh, yeah. You know, she could be in labour for up to 60 hours. God, let's hope not. Probably not.

Yeah, yeah. That'd be tough. That feels like the most extreme example, but I did hear a woman on a podcast say it. I had this question. I was too afraid to ask my wife, so I'll ask you. Please. Did Angus ever need to go to the bathroom during your labour? Like, what happens when a husband needs to wee?

What a freaking question. Like, what happens if I... Like, just generally, let's pretend it goes for eight hours. I'm like, I just need to wee. I'll be back in two seconds. Am I allowed to? We had a very rapid labour. I was induced also, which, you know,

there's things happening to the body that maybe you would say could have been slower if it was happening without that help. So I was only in labour for three hours. He held. He did not leave my side. Yeah, he held for a good three hours. So don't hydrate. Granted, I didn't let him go.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But three hours I could probably get through. Totally. Jesus, the long ones, I'm a bit worried about. I can't imagine having to say to your wife, you know, pre-epidural or whatever. Honey, you're doing so well, I'm just going to duck off into the bathroom. I need to take a dump.

Yeah, yeah. Imagine that, going, clogging up the toilet. I don't want to meet my daughter prairie dog. In the next room, it's like, ooh, cha. Morgan, did you pack

the squatty potty? Oh, my God. I need to bring that to the hospital. Or buy her some dependents. Yeah. Holy hell. Actually,

I've made a mistake. I gave Morgan a little, you know, little thing the other day. Just some stuff that I found really helpful. Yep. I didn't put Coloxal in there.

She might need help. It's the only time in my life I've been constipated. Really? Because I think the epidural drug, baby. Oh, after you're talking about it. After, after. Because during I hear that the front gate's open. But I needed some assistance.

I see. The nurses will give it to her. They were very generous with those. I've got suppositories if she needs. That's nice. Here, if you need. Oh, it's already in. How'd you do that? It was so fast. The epidural hasn't worn off yet. You won't even know. Oh, no, it's exciting.

Countdown is on. Looking forward to it. But now, we're going to go race Johnny. Oh, I get it now. I'm going to stretch because I don't want to do a hamstring. That's right. No. It'll be fun. Jargon and Babs filming from either end, maybe finish line and start line? He might. Will he even take off? Let's find out together.

I just don't know. I'll find out on the show tomorrow. We're out of here. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. Okay, take three for Bella. Take three places people. Babs, put your clothes back on. Alright, Shogun, Riley and action. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Hot Honey haso. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast.

Hot Honey has stopped at Macca's for a limited time only. Embrace the drip.