Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I'm always sucking something!

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

We get some fishy friends and there's already controversy in the tank and we act out a scene from Harry Potter in Duckos Acting SchoolSubscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The rumours are true. Maca's new Mick Griddles is finally on the Brecky menu. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hey, welcome to the podcast, everyone. Great addition today for you. Couldn't agree more. A lot of fun.

The theme throughout today's show, and it might be in the title, I presume it probably is, something about fish. I was going to go with Hey, Babe, from playing on how we introduced it. No, no, I liked your, I mean, they are all niche. Sometimes I go look at the podcast. I went, where the hell did someone say that? You do like minds eating rocks or something? Yeah, that's fun.

No, I liked your slogan. You came up with a new slogan for Finn Vision. Somebody at gills. If they got gills, they got it? Yeah, something about gills. Yeah, if it's got gills, it's got, they've got... But also, my fish is sucking rocks. Yeah, it's pretty funny.

Bads is... Actually, it should be, I'm always sucking something. Quote, Babs. Oh, yeah. That's what I was trying to find for the end of show grab, but I couldn't find it. Yeah, I couldn't remember where it was. When you find it, DM us. But, uh, no, it was a good show.

That was definitely a theme throughout a lot of the morning, which is a bit of fun. Yes, we did get one DM that said, I'm loving how much this has taken over the show. And I just don't know if they were implying too much. But I just don't think there can be such a thing as too much fish. I don't think so. And when we're having fun, it's a good time. Couldn't agree more. You know, why not?

I don't know if we would have had this much fun to ho with hermit crabs. No, I don't think so. Because they're all the same. Yeah. And like, what are they do? Yours just went berserk before. Yeah, had the zoomies. He was relatively stationary.

He was chill. Capidorus, Cori Doris. Suck a fish. And then out of nowhere... He went nuts. He went absolutely skits. It was like a kid on Cordial. It was like a drop acid.

It really was. He went hard. He must have sucked a rock that had a bit of like hallucinogenic algae on it. And he went whoo. But he was nervous at first, but I'm glad he's finally, you know, settled into his environment. Totally. Yeah. You know who hasn't?

Babs his fish is hiding under rocks and leaves and anything it can. Babs his fish is constantly upright. Yeah, it's weird. Unlike a fish should be. It was like upright behind a leaf And then it was like upright on the rock face It's like upright along the wall of the tank What's going on with that?

I do love that Babs has the weird fish though Like the peculiar quirky Gen Zia This is, oh I don't know Who's the weirdest human in the team? Well that's a tough one Because we're all weird in our own right And that's what makes us wonderful Yeah

This wonderful weird person Like Shaw goes a pretty peculiar person Peculiar is a much better word Because that fish is quite peculiar Does it represent Babbs that I do think it does Yeah, I think so. It's always sucking something. That's our babs.

She can't hear her. She's outside playing with your daughter. I know. She's babysitting. Should I pay her? Should I give her something? No, I feel like I should give her something. It's part of her contract.

You're absolutely right. I couldn't get her to come to Italy because the contract is only for the, you know, continental Australia. Yeah. But when we're on homesall, she's on board. She's part of it. She's my opair. So I'm glad she's doing a good job out there. She's doing a play.

You'll hilly cheer in the end of the show in the acting class, actually. I feel like I should apologize to you. I don't know if she was respecting your. school, your class? Well, as a director, it was ruining my vision, but she was fine, I can edit out and post. To quote Rush Hour, distractions can occur in the field, and that

is exactly what my daughter Sorry, Jess, that's just far too much. I was distracted, sir. Two is, that's a poor performance from me. I reckon he's giving me four one time. You missed Babbs's blog where she quoted a movie like Jess, oh yeah,

the very Jess-esque. But also, I thought a very quotable quote that Babs quoted. Not niche at all But now I'm wondering if we're in an echo chamber Is Shrek Is Shrek is obviously popular Is that quote Popular

True You know what the average Idiot quotes from Shrek And in the morning I make them waffles I don't know if they're quoting the gingerbread man Do you know The muffin bread

That is a good Yeah I do a good You do a good High pitch And I don't want to say it Because you'll have to give an example Obviously you're going to do it The pedophile

From Family, why? Hi there. I got some candy in my pocket. You're going to resohn it. Oh, that's nasty. Oh, hi there, Saga. We should play pedophile or ducker.

And that's just you doing it, or a grab. Or a grab. Who is it? It's actually not bad. Can you get the voice after? I don't think we can say that. No, I don't know. And I don't want his name in the same sentence as pedophile.

Let's not call her the pedophile. He's a creep, but I don't know if he's a pedophile. That's fair. That's true. We mischaracterize the character. Don't mischaracterize Herb. Don't defend. He wants you to get care.

What's her is dog's name? I can't remember. Oh, the one that's like... Yeah, yeah. I reckon the dog is more pedo-e. You know what's even more fucked up about that show? Is Herb, like, sexually assaults Chris? I'm pretty sure.

I'm the family doesn't care. He's like, and Chris is like, no. Doesn't the monkey as well that lives in his clothes? Seth Macfarlane would have to be one of the wacky. Have you seen the Orville? No. So Seth Macon created it, Rota and he's in it.

It's like a take on Star Trek? Yeah, but it's like Family Guy, but like it's acting. Like it's real. Oh, so it's not cartoon. It's not cartoon. It's actually pretty funny. Okay. The Orville.

I like, Seth McFarlane, I think, is so funny. Ted, hilarious. What's at all? Disney Plus. The Orville. Okay. It's like a parody of Star Trek. But it's like, it's like family guy humor in the context of the spaceship living in.

Did you know Seth Macfalen was meant to be on one of the planes? that was involved in 9-11 and he either missed his flight or got bumped from the flight or something. Wild. Crazy. Can you imagine that? We'd be deprived.

He has a great clip on Graham Norton, the interview show, where he like does all the voices interacting with each other and to see him switch between Peter, Stewie, Brian. I think he does Joe maybe as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God, he's an unbelievable talent. He does too, Joe. Wow. The Jews, Patrick Ward. No, so it must be one of the other. One of the other side. Yes. Does he, Cuscoe from...

He doesn't do the black one, does he? What's his name? Cleveland? Cleveland, yeah. He does another supplementary character, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I feel like all the voices. Like, a poo was done by a white guy.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, Bart Simpson's a lady. That's, yeah. Oh, Nancy Cartwright. Do you know, Nancy Cartwrights? Sabrina Carpenter's... Auntie. Very good.

There you go. It's all incestful. He does Quagmire. That's the friend he does. Brian Pragmire. Carter Peter Schwitt. Oh, yeah, that's Lois' dad. Tom Tucker.

Tom Tucker, reporting. Oh, I didn't know he did Tom Tucker. Oh, my God, and the doctor. It says 30 more. Upside downhead. Oh, he does more. He does to do Lois. I'm Lois Griffin.

He doesn't do Lois. Oh, hang on. Is he just listing? Oh, created by what I think it's indexed. Yeah, right. Oh, this one has. No, he is the doctor. He is Tom Tucker.

Everyone you said, these are the voices. I've got another list here. I'm a Kool-Aid, man. The giant chicken. Ernie. Oh, good times. That's amazing. Oh, me too.

Yeah. Me too. Anyway, it's a great show. It is a great show. We went around the world. We did to talk about, sorry, just pivoting. I've noticed something that Shy Guy says he's been doing forever. I've never noticed until now.

We sit on the same side of the desk. Shy Guy and I, you are on the opposite side with about 15 monitors between us. Yes. Shy Guy has a collection of unwound paper clips. Is this not the most serial killer? thing you've ever seen. Let me explain. Or sexual frustration.

No. Sally did the alpha box printing for Babbs. No one knows who Sally is. She's our receptionist. Sally does the Coles order at work. And many other jobs as well. She's kind of our promo team now. Actually, yeah, don't she cancel?

Sally doesn't work for us. We really appreciate everything you do for us. Anyway, she printed the Alphabox sheets. And unlike Babs, who's I've just seen, I've realized, is slipping, She puts paper clips on the different days To bundle them up Which Babbs doesn't do it She just hands up to hand up the parlours

It's here you go But Sally's been putting paper clips on the days And I every time I have a paper clip After I'm done with it I just extend it out And I just do various shapes And things with it And then I fiddle with it like a fidget spinner

Yeah that's got to be sexual frustration But you've now rendered the paper clip useless It's so It is kind of fun though I want to tear apart a paperclip Yeah I'll get you on tomorrow After Thursdays after Thursdays after

We don't have the budget To supply We have a box of $100,000. So true. We don't have the budget. We don't have the budget. We've always done it ever since I was little. Wait till we sign our new contracts, Ducko,

because they might shave some of the money off to pay for the paper clips that shy guys are destroying. We come to $100 short. We're like, uh, huh. 100 bucks. That will go far with paper clip money. We'll get office on board. This is, I found this very creepy. Yeah.

It's disturbing. It's disturbing. I did the letter S in like a weird thing in the way. It is cereal. It is cereal. You know when you threw to him today, Duccoe, and he went, oh, sorry. I wasn't listening. Yeah, while we're doing an interview.

Because he was doing this. No. Fine. Enjoy the show. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to Wednesday, gang. Good morning. Good morning.

It is wonderful to be here for our first Wednesday back after. Three weeks off doing professional development, where we also ticked off. I think, Duck, I speak for you as well, ticked off all the admin that needed to be ticked off to make sure that we hit the ground running. Obviously. Didn't need to take a day off to do random errands.

Oh, Shiger, welcome back. Oh, hi, Shaiga. I didn't see you there. Good to have you back, mate. Good to be back. How's your little Tuesday sleeping? You're day in lieu. No, I was no sleeping.

I actually woke up earlier than I normally thought. Oh, what? Like you set your alarm part or your body woke you up? What did you need to do? We had to finish pack. I had to undo the bed. Mate, you'd do that at the number four. That absolutely.

I thought about undoing it the night before. The move list do the bed. No, I did everything. Allie, right, man. When you say undo the bed, do you mean like take the slats out of it or just take the feet off? What do you mean? That. Undo the bed, mean? It has like the bed, like it goes apart.

The bottom, the middle bit and the side bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The frame. That's what I don't understand, though, Ducco. You offered your services. Did you give him an hourly rate? No. You would have offered as a friend, right?

I would never have done to bed. But the removal is do the bed. But that's what I'm saying. Yeah, if you want to pay him for eight hours a day, sure. But I didn't want to do that. It takes him like, I've watched them do it. It takes them like 10 minutes. They do so many beds.

It also took me 10 minutes. No, doing the bed on your own would have taken you. You got up at 4 a.m. Pretty quick. Do you have a spanner or something to do that? No, drill. Drill. Using hand tools?

I mean, drill's a hand tool, I guess. But manual, nah. Yeah, right. So how many hours did they take then? They did it in three and a half, which is great for my bank account. Okay. Do you pay for the half hour or does it tip into, well, no, you don't pay for the fourth hour now. No, no, no, that was a half charge.

There was a half charge. Oh, a half hour charge. But I'm okay with that. Okay. Well, we know you rode them, you know, hard. Absolutely. He borrowed your whip, your cat of nine tails. He still got that thing.

He was riding them. Yeah. Everything got done. I was very pleased. So how was your first night in your new place? Yeah. First night was good. It felt weird.

I felt like I was at an Airbnb with my phone insurance. Someone else's house. Yeah. Because there's no like hooks or anything on the walls. So I need to work that out. You need your 3M hooks. To hang art. To hang art.

Because the walls are very bare right now. Can you just go get the double-sided, you know, sticky stuff? Well, I looked to. my agreement and I'm actually allowed to put stuff on the walls I think. I only shy. See, the double side of tape I do not trust. I just do not trust that stuff.

I use that for a fair day for like paintings and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Not mirrors though. Like big heavy mirrors. I would be like heavy. Particularly anything over the bed. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of my biggest fears that the frame over our bed will just fall in the middle of the night, cracking us in the skull. Yeah. I don't have anything over my bed.

No, smart. Smart. Well, I want something though, because it's such a good spot to put something. It is such a good spot. And it's obviously one of your most visited locations in your house. You want to be greeted by it. You want to see it. You want to see it. But oh my God, you'll live in terror that it will walk in to you. I have the artwork that you guys got me for my birthday last year.

The two beautiful prince. The yaks. The ocean. It was shy guy naked, touching shy guy naked. That's absolutely. We photoshopped all ourselves in. Yeah, we're all in there. Some sort of, you know, weird orgy.

Yeah. Exactly. Weird orgy gospel photo. You know how it is. Yeah. Yeah. Real religious. Well. We've all been to the Louve.

All those old school paintings. They're all nerd. Yeah, they are all nude. Yeah. Well, the tasteful draping. Welcome back. Thank you.

Um, you know, you missed a lot on the show yesterday. I know. You probably won't recognize the show. No. So much has happened? It was fun playing Alpha Bucks though. Oh yeah.

How'd you go? Are you good at Alpha Bucks? I mean, you've played for 10 years. I play forever. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not, we certainly have had better players than me,

but I don't think I'm bad. Uh, good. Better than average. Better than some of the trash we get. Absolutely. Yeah. Average like six, seven. Babs, how are you?

I'm good. Excellent. Are you exhausted after having to pull, like, double shifts yesterday? Actually was quite tired yesterday. Have you had a stern word to Shargo? Oh, I did. Don't worry. Yeah, good.

Did you? Babs love a day and Lou somewhere. Absolutely. Well, she's earned it. She's actually earned it. I thought I could have tomorrow off. Isn't that what you guys said? Okay, everyone relax.

Everybody's just take a day. Yeah, yeah. I'll take Friday then, stuff it. I've got a bucks this weekend, so, you know. You do? I'm actually surprised. How are you looking for Monday? Yeah, well.

I'll let you know Sunday night. Fair enough. We had our first incident. You know, we're living in an apartment at the moment, I go, well, our house gets renovated. We had our first incident where the dog woke up early this morning, sort of whining at the front door. Oh, to go to the toilet.

So Angus and I had to do the odds evens, like, who's going to take him. He ended up taking him down in the depths of the night, but it was very, once we're all up, he sort of was like, calling sick, why don't you stay home? You know, we're all off. I was like, no. Angus said that. Angus said that.

How dare you? I was like, you know what that just makes my day. crap. I will not. That's exactly what I said. I'm not going to leave my brother in the learn. Thank you. I said, I'm not like shy guy.

Yeah. Jeez. Yeah. You're not dog. Yeah. Imagine we rolled into you and here. I'd be like, oh, this is just,

we are taking the piss. We are taking the peace. What is the team? We are not on professional development anymore, team. Well, I went to the gym for the first time. Yes, I do legs in three weeks since the holidays began. Of course. Because I had like a full time off.

Yes. I'll tell you, I'm already limping. So I nearly didn't come in because I couldn't make it down the stairs. You know? Okay. What I'm hearing is we all should have had today off. We could just roll out Ed Sheeran.

Yeah, yeah. Let's shift back to back. No, no, no. This is what I'm saying. We push through. We do it. Even with the warm grasp of my husband, with his sore legs, we still rock up. Yeah, we come.

We be here. Because we've got an exciting addition to the family of the Jess and Ducker HQ. The fish tank has arrived. The fish tank has arrived. We'll get into it, maybe a bit later. Jess and Ducson Duccher here. A rice cooker has gone above and beyond more than any rice cooker. ever has. Like, we've had paintings

drawn for us. We've had gifts. We've had gifts brought in for us. Our children have been looked after. You know, with stuff from the rice cookers, but I don't think anyone's gone as above and beyond. Kyle. And I'm learning Wally. Wally, Colin and Woll. They're going to come on the show like, well, Kyle is anyway.

While I'm told we could talk under water. That's right. That's why he works in the fish. That's right. He's in the right industry. About why we got the fish, what fish that are in there that suit us. Because this isn't just some. some slap-dash job. This isn't just like, oh, these are some pretty fish.

Here's a fish tank. No, no. The thought that's gone into this, we've got to get Kyle on the air. Yep. Not only to thank him, but also to really learn. Learn about the fish. Learn about our new pals. There could be something in it for you, dear rice cookers.

You never know. Stay with us. We've also got Alphox. Of course, that's on the show, 630 and 8. Don't call. If you're bad at the game, we've got Shy Guy dips. We've got Ed Shearing tickets. Absolutely.

There's a lot to enjoy. But none more so than I'm reading the headline up next, okay. Yeah. Well, I found out yesterday there's an age your penis stops growing. And I did not know that. Like, you've been holding out hope in your 33 years of age. I keep calling my dad saying, Dad, am I going to have my growth spurt?

When did you get yours? Didn't come, son. Anyway, I'll tell you the next. Jess and Duckow. Jess and Duckow. Right now, this is for anyone who has a... A borgthorn. This is a PSA for...

Pedro the penetrator. I learnt something yesterday based off an email that I got from Shagai. Just an afternoon email popped into the inbox, you know. Direct to you. Oh, yeah, yeah. Obviously direct to me. Was it marked urgent? BCC, the rest of the team.

Marked urgent. Marked urgent. Your penis. Fuss up. Yep. Okay. What is it? Open the body of email to find out the rest.

Every afternoon, shy guy just checks in. Your penis. Wanting an update. It's good today. It's good today. Not as big as yours still, but, you know. And I found out yesterday, Jess, he never will be. because you're holding out hope for the growth

it stops growing it stops growing unlike your ears that grow for your entire life now talk to me is that true I thought that was an urban myth that the no I thought even Google it Google off

Bab scored a point while you're away yesterday yes she didn't it doesn't if I'm not there yeah it does hey you take a day off mate Duckin and I are in charge of the telly I thought that was an urban myth that your ears yes they do what they get larger with age they don't stop growing they don't stop growing

that is not to say you have Dumbob level is, this is what the Google says. Yeah, yeah. The growth is gradual. Did you get an answer or do you freak out? What'd you type in? I freaked out. What'd you type in?

I didn't type in anything because I got frazzled. Well, it's like, I've maintained his lead. Produced a frasel. Yeah, but yeah, I never understand how minute is the growth that we don't, at 85, have these huge dumbbell years. I'd rather minute growth, though, than shrinkage, because that's what happens. So it gets to a point.

The pain starts reversing. Yeah, it gets to a point. So about 18, after your testosterone sort of peaking, hip, hipation. puberty, yada, yada, your pain is actually not going to grow any larger. That's it. Length and girth, bang. Pretty much 18 to 20 for some guys. That's it.

And the determining factors is it genetics? Oh, I don't know. Like, there's nothing you can do. I don't think so. You can't. Besides the surgery. There's a pump. You know, I've got that pump.

I know you do. That's just for a, that is just for a fleeting moment. You have flogged that pump. And unfortunately, you have nothing to show for it. Well, I took the pump to get service from, from pumps our ass. Ducco's starting a class action lawsuit against the founder of the pump for false advertising. The 16-year-old on the account was like, oh, so your pump is, has been used so much. There's nothing we can do for you, sir.

My God, you're greasy. Just buy another one. No, this is my pump. You have to do that thing where they like cut it in half, put like your thumb in the middle and then sew the end back on just to give you some way. It's just anything. I'm pretty sure I saw that on an episode of House. How else are you going to get Lens, brother? How?

Well, I'm certainly not going to grow into it. That's what my dad always says. You'll grow into it, son. It's like when they buy you the oversized blazer in Year 7, you'll grow into it. I never did. You lied, Dad. I'm 18 now, Dad. You lied to me.

It wasn't until I went to the urinal here at work with Shagai. I went, holy hell. They can be that big. Oh, because absolutely growing. You just think what you've got is what everyone's got. Exactly right. The urinal is not your friend. It's not.

Anyway, how's this, though? Is it anyone's friend? Yours. It's a good showcase. So it ends in about 18 to 20. That's it. But it starts to shrink. I didn't realize this.

So flow to the penis decreases as you get older, meaning less erections, which weakens the muscles of the erectile tissues, thus shrinking your penis. So actually... It's almost like it's atrophying. Like when you don't use your biceps. Exactly. I know this happens in hospitals a lot. If you're bed bound, your muscles without use, start shrinking.

They go away. Did it realize the pain? It says, yes, it says you need to keep constant erections up to maintain penis length for as long as you can. Constant erections makes it sound like you never go flaccid again. Just rock up. Just a Viagra day. Do they recommend how many erections, what, per week?

Ooh, Google it. Google it. Two mates. I want to see what you're Googling. To maintain, give her a fight, chance, shy guy. Quick fingers over. It's already in shy guy's history. I already have this one.

To maintain that muscle strength, how often should we be getting hungry? The typical male has three to five erections every night. Yeah, it says overnight erections help. Because you get them in your sleep. But that naturally stops happening, right? Well, it slows down for sure. It slows down. So it's saying the more you can maintain elasticity with the erectile tissue, the better it is for longevity of growth.

Get yourself turned on. Yeah, yeah. We'll be better for growth. Exactly. maintaining your current length. Just holding on to what you've got. I can give you ages. So.

Although when it starts, when you get less. So early 20s, you should be getting 3 to 5 per night. Oh, yeah. And that could translate to 30 plus per week. Wow. 20 to 30, I'll just go weekly, roughly 15 to 25 per week. All right. Into your 40s to 50s, only 10 to 20 per week.

And 50 and over, you're looking at 5 to 15 per week. Assuming you're helping. Do you reckon you're 15 a week? You're 33. I reckon I'm probably punching more out than that. But on you! That's what you do. You're just like, gym junkie and you're like,

Gaze, I've got to go over. No, I'll go home to tell my wife, honey, I did the show today. You know, that research thing that I do. And it turns out I need at least 20 to 30 erections a week. 15 to 25. No, no, 20 to go over to it. Jess and Ducko. I've had a press release sitting in my inbox.

I've just done the quick math. Nearly two months, Ducko. It's been about seven. weeks. You've been excited to bring this to me. More than the content of the email, Ducko, I think you'll see why I was excited to bring this to you. Maybe you can get into the headspace of the,

I guess the red star, the red bell that accompanied this email. It came from a woman named Jenny from the ADA. Now, this is an organisation that may have come up around your dinner table when you're hanging out with your in-laws. Does the ADA mean anything to you? Australian Dental Association. Yes, my friends.

I got an email. I'm so proud of you, by the way, and your father-in-law, the peri-a-what is he? Endodontist. I nearly called him a periodontas. Don't you do that? They hate that. He would be so proud of you right now. This woman named Jenny from the ADA emails me.

Hey, Jess, I know they superimpose all the different names for their pressure. I don't know how I got on the ADA's emailing list. What a list. Yeah, yeah. And I lament that our professional development break fell over August 4 to 10 because we missed Dental Health Week. Oh. And Jenny wanted us to be across, seven weeks ago, she wanted to make sure we had our finger on

the pulse in anticipation of the upcoming dental health week because she was revealing the theme for this year. Does Jenny know, I was going to say, does she not have, I've had 23 feelings in my lifetime? She's like, well, you guys need this. I think Jenny knows you just had a. kid because the theme for Dental Week 2025. Hold on, hold on. Young children's oral health.

But what got me, Ducco, and why I've had this on my little note, my content note to bring to the show, was Jenny in bold. Babs can attest to this because I had to forward her the email to print this morning. She said it was exciting. Embargoed 30th of July. For anyone who does not familiar. It's a very industry, pressy term, embargoed. You are not to speak of this.

You are sworn to secrecy. It's the equivalent of the official top secret stamp from the CIA on those files they have on serial killers or terror of suspects. Maybe this is one my father-in-law hadn't told me about it. He was just under embargo. Because you had visited your in-laws over the professional development break either side. And I thought, if anyone's going to slip. Not one chat came about kids' oral health.

I'm surprisingly. I'm surprised. Normally it would. Because this theme, it relates to you, my friend, young children's oral health. Because it goes on to say, how's this, for all the surveys and research we bring on this show, we often criticise or scrutinise the sample size. Oh, you've only interviewed 600 people, that's not enough. Yeah.

Oh, you know, a thousand people, oh, you're getting better. 25,000 Australians. Wow. The ADA interviewed 25,000 Australians. They are reputable. They are reputable. If they come knocking on my door, I'd happily do it. Absolutely.

40% of parents think two years old is the right time to take your kid for their first dental appointment. That is incorrect. It is when the first tooth starts poking through. But I thought the tooth fall out anyway. Well, this is the thing. It's funny. I have to fight my kid every night to brush her teeth.

Literally, we are pinning her down like a crocodile. Hates it. Hates it. And Angus said to me, he goes, why are you trying so hard? They're just going to fall out anyway. And I went, everything I've read about oral hygiene, you've got to start them now. More so, yes, gums. And yes, the tooth health, but so they get in the habit.

You can't expect a four-year-old, five-year-old, or a ten-year-old to just magically start brushing their teeth if they haven't done at their lifetime. So this research is actually very interesting, but the fact it was embargoed. It's this big headline, Embargoed, July 30, you must not breathe a word. I thought was so funny. Like, ADA, who are you kidding? Like, what top secret? And good on you for not telling us before July 30 as well. When it came seven weeks ago when I saw that, I put it immediately in my ear.

emails to say, put this on the show. How's the ADA trying to silence us? And then I got a bit scared. I was like, what if they come for me for breaking the embargo? Can I imagine if we get sued from the Australian Dental Association? I chickened out. I didn't want to make an enemy of the ADA. To make a formal apology?

Hi. Hi, my name is Jasvajiani and I broke the embargo from the ADA. I made a mistake. I am so sorry. We would never want to hurt the ADA. I know. We respect endodontus, periodontas, orthodontas, orthodontas, orthodontas, author donters and dentists.

My father-in-law, who's famously still making his speech at my wedding, it was that long, he's probably on the board of this thing. He probably, you know, it was probably a test. It was probably a test from Ward to see if I would break embargo, if you would slip up. Actually, should I text him? I'll text him now and say, when should I take flow to the dentist? What's the first time?

And you know what he'll do? Well, from recent research from the ADA, it would suggest. This time. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabugs on hit. Up for bucks. 30 seconds. 10 questions all starting on the same letter.

I have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back if there's time. Stepping up today to play for $10,000 we have. Ah, she's here. Oh, thank God. Here it is.

We've got Kaz. Good morning, Kaz. Good morning. Kazi. What do you want to spend 10 grand on, babe? I've got some bills to pay, and then I'd love to take the kids away on a holiday, so we're warm. Love that. Head up north, maybe.

I didn't jump over Fiji. Oh, hello. Yeah. Get one of those resort packages. Yeah, kids go on kids club, Kaz. You just have some bula. I mean, no, you have some cava. While saying bula.

Yes, that's yes. I love that. Well, Kaz, one thing stands between you and a family vacate of Fiji. And it's the letter E. Oh, okay. E for... Yeah. E for exciting.

Yeah, love that. Yeah. E, as in A, E, I owe you. Okay. Okay. That's one of the bells. Caz. Ready?

Let's do it. Yeah, time will start after the first question. Starling with the letter E. We need you to name something sweet. Easter egg. A country. Oh, pass. A D.J.

Pass. A DJ. This is tricky. A tea flavour? English breakfast. An actor. Edward, someone. This is really hard.

Edward, anyone. Come to me. Norton. Edward. You got in there just before the buzzer. He's great, Edward Norton, isn't he? Edward Norton is good. Fight Club? Yes, American History X?

Yeah. Yeah, he's very good. Look, Kaz, we didn't get there. We know that. We got ourselves, if we give you that male actor, we got three. You're not going to pay that. But it was very after. A country could have been England, an adjective, energetic or excellent,

and then a DJ, the one and only Eric Pryds. Oh, we love him. Call on me. Call on me. Yeah, yeah. DJ was hard, though. Eric isn't top of mind. But to be fair, there's probably some.

local DJ you could have said that we had to have paid. Absolutely. Look, Kaz, you don't get the money, you don't get the holiday, but you do get $100 to spend at Temple and Webster. Imagine the glow-up you could give your home with up to 40% off furniture, homewares and renovations at temple and website.com.com. And it's yours. Awesome. Thanks so much, guys.

Thank you, Kaz. Thanks for joining the show. Have a good day. You as well. Well, we are going to have a great day. You don't know why? We got fish. We got fish. We got fish in the studio. For my.

We have talked about a show pet. Yep, we got them. We got five. We actually got them. We got six. I think there's six. And we're going to speak to the fish owner who's given us the fish next. Jess and Ducco.

I just got a text from my mum because we were talking, we got fish. We got fish. We said we were gifted fish. And mum goes, you got fisher in the studio? Like the DJ? That's fair enough. To be fair, that's a hell of a get. I appreciate the text from California.

Kate, look, that's exciting. I would argue not as exciting as what we actually do have in the studio. You're real fishies. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. A couple of months ago.

What's with the little thing? It was a grab from another radio show. I was like, is that new? I don't know if I like it. No, that's from another radio show. It does those on top of grabs, which we don't love. A couple of months ago, a couple of weeks ago, whenever it was, I brought in 62 glass jars because I thought this.

I think there's 60 because we've given way to. I had these grand ideas that the Jess and Ducko show would trade jars for cool stuff, whether it was one at a time or the whole 62. That fell flat on its face. No one kind of loved that idea. No one kind of loved it. Even the DMs I got from three women who were like, I also collect jars. But I don't need your jars. I got my own jars.

Then you looked at that display photos and went, oh no. We started putting the prizes. I know. They came as a part of shark idea. We're struggling to get rid of these things. However, one person who did have a bit of intrigue with the jars was named Kyle. He actually texted us on the text line. He texted the text line.

And to be fair to Kyle, I've made it sound like he wanted the jars. He sort of went, oh, guys, if you're looking for trades, I don't even need the jars, but I've got something for you. Because another thing we've sort of talked about on this show, Duck, who is having a show pet. We wanted hermit crabs, so that they're too easy to kill. We want hamsters, they smell axolottles. We flirted with fish. We flirted with fish, but we sort of were like,

who's actually going to go get the fish? There's research that will be needed to be done to make sure they're cohesive. Yes. Our friend Kyle heard all this. Kyle from Finn Vision Aquariums. What a guy. He's a hell of a rice cooker with a keen ear, and he saw an opportunity. He listened.

He listened. He texted, and he joins us right now. Kyle, Kyle, good morning. Finvision aquariums, of course, Intagra, are absolute legends, professionals in what they do. Absolutely, the best. The best in what they do. I would not get a fish from anyone else.

Nor would I. Kyle. Shy guy, what say you? Would you get a fish from anyone else? Yeah, absolutely. You say no, you say no, damn it. Sorry, I wasn't listening. Anyway, don't mind him.

Babs, would you get a fish from anyone but Kyle? No, I met Kyle and Wally yesterday, and they were a I lament that we missed the installation. Kyle, you came in with your buddy Wally, fellow Finn Vision employee, and you have installed this unbelievably swanky fish tank, complete with greenery, there's rocks, there's toys in there for the fish. But if we are counting correctly, there are six fish in that tank. Kyle, what have you gifted us, you legend?

Okay, so we've got a couple of fish in there. You've got your plattie that you were talking about back then. Yeah. You're going to have to remind us. Let's refresh. I haven't forgotten, Carl, but just for the audience. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So you go a little plattie in nests and then with a sore tail friend. Yeah, very, very, very similar in fish and in the way they behave and the way they act. Yep, their buddies. They'll run around together. Yes. With those guys, we got a couple of long fin denios. Yeah, the danios. I remember the danio.

Yeah. They'll scoot around the top and they'll make. everything feel comfortable. I love that. That's shy guy and babes just floating around the top. They're just workers. Yeah, they're worker bees. Oh, the denios, of course.

Yep. Yep. And then you've got the Calicoe Bristol nose. Oh, that's me. That's me, isn't it? Is that the bottom feeder, the one who looks like a mini catfish? Yeah, yeah, a little catfish. Yeah.

So that's ducco. And then, uh, yeah. Mike, is, um, Kyle, can you tell if a fish is a boy or a girl? Uh, yes. Um, so your saw tail's a boy. Sword tails boy. Someone write this down because I don't know what they look like. All I know is mine is the ugly one at the bottom.

The Calico, what I was going to say, the Calico bristle nose? Bristle toe. Yep. Nose. I was going to say she, because she's gorgeous. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it could still be. It's still pretty young.

But, yeah, it could be a girl. What do you mean? Do they develop the sex over their lifetime? Yeah, the bristle nose will actually get bristles on the nose in more abundance in the male. The females will be very scared. Let's have a look at that. Babs, that's your job every day. Yeah, every single day. That's right.

We need bristle updates. Pristle updates. Okay, so yes. And what else is in there? The last one is an albino-corri catfish. An albino? That's me. That's the one of the bottom of thinking.

Well, this is the thing. Which did you denote as the duck man first, Kyle? Oh, look, it's, I mean, the Corridoris is pretty cool because that thing just does not stop running around. Oh, that is ducking. Yeah, yeah. The albino, Corey. Adores. Yeah.

It just keeps moving around. It keeps that ecosystem afloat. So you've given us two extra fish, because we only want to four. There's four of us on the team. You've kindly given us six. I assume they're the long Fendennios. Were they the two little extras you gave us, Kyle? Yeah, we chucked in a few extras, just to try and keep the tank, you know, happy.

And if you chucked two or three fish in a tank and you guys, I assume, are going to be with your face in it every couple minutes. Yeah, they're going to be a bit nervous. Oh, they get scared. That's a shy guy of the fish That's why you add in a few more to make the crowd Make it feel you're better It's funny

It's funny you say that Kyle I love that My two-year-old loves fish So she's going to come in this morning And when we talk about you know Getting right up at the glass It's good there's a gang Do you know what I mean

So they've power in numbers They're not going to be She better not tap that class What a time to learn We know we ain't be tapping the glass She kills a fish On day one That wouldn't be good

She gives one of them a heart attack We've got the plattie We got the calico bristle nose We've got the albino cori catfish And then the long fin denios, this is unbelievable. In terms of keeping them alive, which is Babs' main job. Absolutely. We've worked it into our next contract.

What do we do there? So I've sent a little email off to Babs just to try and explain everything for you guys. A couple of little questions and stuff like that that you can go with. But basically, the way we've kind of done it, it's really simple. So I've got a little magnet glass cleaner. If you run around there, you'll keep the Aggie off, do it, you know, two minutes of every day. It'll make that thing look pretty. That way the Yaggy doesn't do it up.

You've done it this morning. You've already done it this morning. I hit them and clean the tank. No one's going to be a better fish mum than Babs. Oh, I couldn't agree more. No, I can see that. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't have left us to the fish if you didn't trust Babs, you know?

100%. Yeah, totally Babs. Okay. And then Coles favorite have to have to look after her. What we're going to do is we've got two extra fish in there. So we're probably going to name our listeners or get our listeners to own a fish. Well, that's exactly it. Four of the fish of the six represent us.

Well, who are the other two? Yes. We will workshop how we do that, because it's a hell of an honour. It's one thing to win a Jess and Ducko G's bit. It's another to have only one of two. Just swim around with shy guy. My goodness. The ladies will be pounding on the glass.

Kyle, food? Did you give us food? Yeah, yeah. You've got food and water conditioner. Water conditioner. Fish, it's a frisie fish. It's a bit of admin, but. Do they need biweekly

blow waves like I do? Do we need to... Obviously. Kyle doesn't know what that is. He said yes, though. Like the Bristol knows. That looks like a diva to me. Well, Carl, you're an absolute legend. You came all the way in.

You set it up. You and Wally. We heard good things about Wally. You gave our GM a heart attack, which is fantastic. That's the best part of it. Oh, Kyle. We are so grateful. And can I ask just once, before we let you go,

are you sure you don't want 60 glass jars? Yeah, you sure. Well, you weren't there to give me my glass. That's true. Yeah, I actually... I know I said I didn't want it, but now I feel like I missed out. Oh, don't worry, I'll send Babs down to tell you out. We can do that.

I'll get you. I'm going to give you my best jar. It had marinated peppers in it once. I'll make sure it's clean. It still smells and tastes like pepper, Carl. So enjoy that one. Kyle, honestly, fish vision aquariums. If you have a fish need or any other, I assume, aquatic creature. We're talking axolodles.

Anything, water. Anything water. You go see Kyle. You go see Wonger. If it's got gills, Carl's got it. That's it. I love that. Make that your slogan.

Kyle, thank you so much. This is incredible. Thank you so much, guys. I am looking forward to, not looking forward to. That's the wrong one. Oh, no, you're going to say death. I can't wait to see which one dies first. And I don't mean we're going to try.

We're not killing them. But like, it'll be shy guys. See, I've got a, I've got a concerning feeling it'll be babsus. The thing is, we don't know who. All we know is mine's the ugly one at the bottom. That's all we know. So if it's not at the bottom, we'll know it's dead. Jess and Ducco.

Pile from Fish, Finn Vision, sorry, aquariums in Tuggarra. Gave us fish. Has given us fish. We've just been out there. Check it out, Jess and Ducco on Instagram. One of us, not thrilled with their allocation. And it ain't me. Hey, Ducco, it ain't I got.

I've got an albino bottom feeder who's trying to get out. And Chagga's got this long pointy boy who seems to be floating with my fish. You're a Cori Doris, which I think is the coolest name, a Corey Doris. Yeah. Shigai's not leaving you alone in the tank. Shigoy's floating with me hard at the tank. It fits. Florenton my orange and yellow

Flowing around and we couldn't find Babbs for 10 minutes She was hiding And then I found it I found Babes' fish It's the black bottom feeder It was sucking off a leaf By like hiding Oh that's the one

That's the one that doesn't know I put a question mark It's gender or sex is yet to be revealed Oh Babsy You're so fluid So fluid Every day you get to come in and tell What you get

That's right We've got to count the bristles On Babs to see But Babs is like, oh, that fish is so ugly. I was like, Bad's an amazing personality. Babs, come on. You've got to push through that first part on Tinder where it's just about photos and really get the chat.

That's where you shine. Okay, thanks, Bass. It's so good if we couldn't find Bads' fish for like 10 minutes. I don't believe I'm getting offended over a fish, too. I do. See, you're already connected. You're already the kinship. It's you're hiding from us.

Jess is like trying to find you around the tank. She's like, look at me, look at me. Not leaving you alone. Me and Chah go doing weird stuff in the corner. Just on the floor. Shalgo doesn't belong on the floor, but he keeps getting drawn to the floor. It's like, that's where Ducko is.

That might be the filter, but anyway. Getting sucked into the filter. I can't watch it away. Should we put a bet on whose fish dies first? We absolutely should. Because there's a few things we need to, we need to sort of put in motion. There's also, was it four extras? Was there four extras or three?

It's four or five, but the littleies, the little extras, the Denios. The Denio. You can't keep still. It's hard to count. We had a rice cook a message in. For 2008-1-606 line, you can always text us saying you should call one fish rice or the other fish cooker. That's great. That's not bad.

We've got other names too. We've got other fish too. And I want you to feel connected to the fish. Like as an individual, like you get that honour. Granted, it knocks out everyone else. But you have a fish in there. So we'll work on that. It's actually so fun having a fish named after you.

It's amazing. It's actually a really good time. So I'm working on fish talk, fish can. Oh, yeah. We're going to have a 24-hour live feed. Oh, I didn't say 24 hours. That's absolutely what I heard. Jess and Ducco.

I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My moot, my milk. Shy Guy Dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's fuck. Oh, yeah. It is back from professional development itself.

Shy Guy Dips, bigger and better than ever. There's been a lot of excitement in the studio this morning because we were gifted a fish tank. Yeah, yeah. Completely fish. It doesn't take much to get us going. It doesn't. and I just didn't know that the recesses of my excitement could get any more.

But with the return of shy guy dips, I'm just over the moon. Here we are. How professionally developed are you feeling shy guy? I mean, you took yesterday off. It took a day in lieu, day two. You've actually had more break than all of us. Totally. Are you ready for some fresh clues?

Yeah, yeah. I'm very ready. So remember, you call on 13, 1060, first clue we give you now. Plus, first cab off the ring gets another clue. You get a jiz bit, a fridge magnet, a jar. No fish yet, but you never know. That could be in the future. Did you say you get the box of cereal?

Oh, the box of cereal. You get breakfast for the next, what, fortnight? Turns how quickly you punch cereal. Well, that's, yeah, true. I don't know. How long does a box of cereal last? I don't really eat cereal. Yeah.

It's all shy guy's domain. So 13, 10, 60, don't forget, you get your voice on the air. You are with a chance of the call of fame. Hell yeah. Those air cheering tickets. Shy guy, your first clue, please. Two words. Oh, he's back, baby.

It's like he's never developed. Mate. This is reminiscent of three weeks before, professional development. We're doing the same stuff. That's a great cereal. Get on board, guys. 13, 10, 60. First cab off the rent.

You will get another clue. Two words. Jess and ducco. Jess and ducco. I reckon producer shy guys having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my muck. My muck.

I'm so excited. I want shy guys. But we are the only show delivering you Australia's favourite cereal game. We are. The stakes couldn't be higher. You could walk away with a box of cereal. That's your breakfast sorted for... A couple days, couple weeks, whatever...

However quick you want to eat it. That stuff doesn't go off. Plus, a swag of Jess and Ducko merch. Yep. Just by deciphering a series of pretty crappy clues from one shy guy. He's already told us the box of cereal in his hand today. It's two words. Two words.

Uh, shy guy. Yep. We go to first cab off the rank. Lauren, good morning, Lauren. Good morning. Lauren, you've heard it's two words, but he's got another clue for you. The box, Lauren, is like a light green. Jesus, would you say it's a mint green?

I'd probably go mint. Would you say it's giving Taylor Swift's new album cover of Mint Green? Oh, geez. I'd say mint green. Mint green color. Way to lean into the biggest story in the world. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, yeah.

Not at all of them. Not at all. She's teasing. Lauren. You should really nail that, Lauren. Yeah. I don't know too many boxes that are this colour, to be fair. If I'm picturing the cereal aisle.

Um. Two words. I have it on top of my head. Oh, yeah. I can picture the box of what it is. Yeah. But do you think what I can picture the box because my mom eats it. Surely not. Surely no one needs this.

I was going to say, I've never actually seen this on the show. Can you show me again, Chuck? I don't think I've never seen this. Obviously, when you open yours, we've got to give an unopened. I'm holding your box right now, Lauren. We're going to need a nomination, Dahl. People are standing by. This actually looks quite nice. Of course you would like it. I actually think I'm going to have a bowl of this.

Lauren. No, is it the Uncle Toby's Plus? It is not Uncle Toby's Plus. Good try. That's a great try. 13, 1060. Let's go. Yeah, we go to Sam.

Good morning, Sam. Sam's hung up. Sam panic. All right, call us. I think Sam, do you think Sam was going to guess? Uncle Toby's glass and has just panicked. Good listening, Sam.

There's nothing earth to be more than when people repeat what has just been guessed. Sam just had a bleed. It is the most brutal tone. Why does our system allow it? I like it. Rachel, good morning to you. Good morning.

Rachel, we've heard it's two words. The box is a gorgeous mint green colour, but you get another clue. There's a big circle on the box. It's a bowl, but half of it you can see the cereal in the bowl. The other half is the two words. And it also says 40% reduced sugar. Jeez, how many clues you're giving, mate? You've got it.

I'm trying. I'm just trying. Wow, Rachel, that is a lot of information. What is the cereal? Well, I'm confused now because 40% less sugar, but I'm going to say Lucky Chalms. Oh, it's definitely not Lucky Charms. They're a red box. Would you almost say, Ducker, you've got it in your hand.

It's almost the opposite of Lucky Charms. I would say, yeah, it's more of the healthy side of the cereal. Exactly. Crystal, good morning. Hey, it's not what I thought it was if it's healthy. Hang on, hang on. Have another clue, Darle and recalibrate. We'll give you something else. It says on the box, there's five grains and seeds.

Five grains and seeds. This looks like it is fairly healthy. Crystal? It's going to be like one of those whole brands, like, for something. Mate, you're flirting with it, but we're going to need the name. You're tickling, you're fondling. Not just brain, because that's yellow. But that's the only thing I can think of.

Do you mean just right? Just right, yeah. Yeah. No. It is not that. Whether you meant all brand or just right, both of them are incorrect. Thank you, though. We're getting closer, surely.

I'm intrigued to see if anyone actually eats this. Kira, well, possibly that lady's mum eats it, but she couldn't remember the name. So if that lady's mum's the thing. You can see it, though. Kira, good morning. Good morning. I've had a couple of nominations so far. Two words, mint, green, five seeds and whole grains, 40% less sugar.

You get another clue. Yeah, this isn't a Kellogg's one. It is a Woolworth's branded cereal. He's giving you the brand. It's a big W on the top corner of the box. Oh, that kind of throws out what I thought then. My apologies, don't disregard me. I was going to say Apple Jacks, but...

You want to lock that in? Yeah. Wrong. That you good. Jane, oh, come on, Jane. This might be one of the longest we've had. I think so. Jane, another clue for you, darling.

Yeah, Jane, it's four and a half star health rating, which is one of the highest series we've had on this show. One of the healthiest? Out there with the oats, I think. Wow, all right, Jane. I'm trying to work out if this is actually healthy. a cereal. It's going to finish your room.

Is this the sound effect you wanted to play? Or is this is the test? This is me wanting to play. I believe. Jane. Yes. What is it?

Is it the great start Woolies one? Oh. No sugar? My God. Yes, it is. You thought we'd be here for a while. Do you eat this cereal?

No. I have like a health freak friend who eats it. I just like look it and go, ew, that's gross. A health freak friend. Well, there you go. just won you, shy guy, dip, serial edition. You get a box of this.

You could give it to your health freak friend or give it a go yourself. Or you can donate it because Ducco would like to try it. I'm going to have a bowl, maybe. You can have it if you want to. That's going to make your day. Hey, Jane, we just need one thing from you. Jess, do you want to give her the line? Jane, we're going to need a nice, crisp, clear.

Hi, my name's Jane. And I'm so excited. I just won Shy Guy's box. Box is imperative there. Okay, let's take out, let's take our places. Bab, stop cleaning the fish tank. Shy guy, listen up. Here we go.

Jane, take one. Action. Hi, my name is Jane, and I just won shy guys. Serial. Are you? My set box was important, personally. That's also, and also, she's just plain all excited. We need so excited.

So excited, yeah, yeah. Hi. Hi. My name's Jane. My name's Jane. And I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I just won shy guys.

Box. I just want Shy Guy's box. You can put your own creative flare on it, but just they're the words. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. All right. Take two.

Rolling. Action. Hi. My name is Dan, and I'm so excited that I want Shy guys. Bye. I can't get my great. Time is money, Jane. Oh, Jesus.

We're running out of film. Do we have any more boxes of great start? We can get into this. Maybe if you laid off the fruit losers of great start, Jane. Okay. Maybe you get your healthy friend in, Jane. She can do a better job. Okay.

All right. Can you correct her? Hi. Hi. My name's Jane. My name's Jane. And I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I just won Shy Guy's Box. You got that, Jane? My guy's box. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Rolling and action while you're hot. Let's go.

Hi, my name is Jane. I'm so excited I won. Oh, I can't do it. And. Come on, Jane. And. And I understand. And I want Side Vice Box.

Is that right? Just won. All right. All right. All right. We're going to have to go again, people, places, small shy guy. Hi, my name's Jane, and I'm so excited I just won Shy Guy's box. We need this.

This is it. This is the take. All right, your motivation is you've just won cereal on the radio. And action. Hi, my name is Jane, and I, oh my God, I thought. I fail. I don't know. We've never not gotten it.

I've done this. Hi. Where does you find Jane, Shaw, Guy? Hi. Hi, my name is not, it's not that hard. Hi, my name's Jane. People are calling, like, to win the... Hi, hi, my name's Jane, and I'm so excited.

I just won Shy Guy's box. Oh, my God, okay, let's do this. Shake off your attitude. Say, me this. Wednesday morning, you've won six. Let's do it. Action. Okay.

Let's do it. Hi, my name is Jane. No, you're on time for it. Let's go out. Wait for the action, Jane. Oh, okay. Hi, my name is Jane, and I'm so excited. I won shy.

I can't do it. I cannot do it. I'm done. I bet you regret calling, James. I do. But did you see the AFL grand final who they got for their half-time show? No, my finger is not on the pulse.

You haven't seen this? No. Justin? No, sorry. I was going to say, Justin Tiber-Like's on the nose. You've seen people going, he's so lazy in his life. And he's come out being like, I've got Lyme disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's Snoop doggie dog. It's Snoop Doggy Dog. Sorry, I just, this. To be fair, he'll pop up on this song eventually. Yeah, well, that's what I thought he was. Oh, you've got to get that. Snoop. Yeah, I thought it'll drop a lot.

Like a top? Yep. Well, I mean, I did try, but look how many friggin' songs come up. Why has ACDC come up when you search? Mate, anyway, Snoop Doggy dogs. Snoop Dogg is doing the AFL grand final. Snoop Dogg's doing the AFL grand final. God, you can't.

You can't pick it, can you? Last year they got Katie Perry. Yeah. When you think of opposite end of the spectrum, Snoop Dog. They got, um, they get big guess NFL final. Whereas. Oh, the killers.

Didn't they had the killers one. Yeah, that was huge. So the NRL last year had Kid Leroy. Yes. And then the year before... He was well-received, wasn't he? The year before that I went to, they had the Tina Turner show from the musical. The musical, which I love.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was actually well-received, wasn't it? I mean, that lead actress was amazing. But Snoop double... Snoop doggie dog going to the MCG live. That's unbelievable. That's huge. That would have to be one of the...

I mean, I don't know Snoop's repertoire. I mean, the MCG can hold 100,000 people, can't. That is a massive stadium show. It's fantastic. And Snoop will have no idea what AFL is, but he'll just be there. I always wonder that. Similarly, with Camel is. Haiti Perry last year, how much do they explain to the artist beyond the dollar amount

that they'll get for doing it? And maybe the tour that he'll then do like Haiti did after her show. How much do they explain what they're actually performing? Where am I? What am I doing? Because I guess obviously NFL is huge over there. It's an Australian game. And they'll think like NFL halftime show is massive.

But the AFL pregame show barely gets televised. You're right because it's not halftime, is it? It's pregame entertainment. Same with the NRL. So now you reckon the NRL, similar. they're going, oh, jeez, we better cancel Shepard. Oh, no. Wolf, mother.

You know the Super Bowl, arguably one of the biggest sporting concerts in the world? Is that easier because the crowds warmed up? Whichever way the game's going, they're amped up. Whereas when you're doing pre-game entertainment, half the crowds aren't even yet. You've got a cold crowd. Yeah. It's like a comedian.

You've always got a warm-up act to try and warm up the audience, get them laughing, get them in the spirit. Whereas... And Australian crowds are not at. as generous, I think, to foreign performers at games like that. Couldn't agree more, particularly when you think about, I've not been to a grand final, but I've been to some of the big games, like the Anzac Day game at the MCG, way back when parking, getting in there, the rigmarole.

You're just stressed out of your mind just to sit down in your seat. That's a tough crowd to actually get on board with. But I would go to the AFL funnel just to see Snoop Dog. Would you? Just to see the dog. They usually then announce a tour, right? Yeah, if they're coming all this way. They don't just, yeah.

Like Katie Perry did her tour. with the awesome dance move. Huge. I wonder. I wonder how much... Oh, that's why. Yeah. And those interesting whigs.

So I don't know who the NRL's getting, but I don't think it's going to be on the calibre. I don't know why the NFL go all out and they baller. And then the NRL just seemed to... Have a bigger budget, do you think? Is it a wealthier? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. The business side. I would have thought that it'd be pretty equal. Yeah. NRL's doing pretty well. He takes Peter Valandis and just ask, what's your budget for this year? Usually the networks have part in this payment.

So it brings viewers to Channel 7 for AFL, Channel 9 for NRL. Okay. It's like how much are you footing the bills? Yes. Once again, they're like, oh God, we got Shepherd. What do? What do we do? I mean, say Geronimo. I asked Chachapidoo, who it thinks the NRL grand final might be.

Just based on what it knows from scouring the web, he predicts Imagine Dragons because they are also in Australia at this time. Interesting. So it could be better like that. I've actually seen Imagine Dragons live. They are awesome. Yeah. He's hot as else.

Once again, they're good, but they're not Snoop. Candy Perry got $1.4 million for playing last year from the AFL. I don't know what Kid Lauri got from the NRL, but I don't know what Tina Turner got as well for the musical. I was going to say, they probably built that into their contract in the Broadway performance. Jess and Ducko. Coming up next, Ducko. Yeah, you're very excited about it. We got a little DM.

We got a DM. I got an update for you. Yeah. We were gifted something. Kyle. And Wally. Yeah, Wally. From Finn Vision Aquariums.

Yeah, we got fish. And we're very excited about it. We're speaking about it on off for the last hour. Absolutely. And we described our fish, and we couldn't find Babs' fish for a while. I know. You can sort of see a bit of the journey. And you can actually check out the fish.

Jess and Ducko on Instagram. Well, Kyle, the man behind the fish. Yeah, the fish man. Eagle-eyed has spotted something in the vision that we've shared. Yep. I've got an update on one of the fish in our tank. Oh, no. Because we named a shy guy fish, a me fish, you and Babs.

We've denoted. Who is who? To then, asset. attain are we've got a couple of extras Kyle very kindly giving us a few and we will auction them off in some capacity to certain rice cookers I was going to update you on what Kyle has

spotted in our tank We've got an intruder Oh no As in someone who's not meant to be there He gave a... Okay, all right, hold us fish Hold on, how do we have an intruder? What is happening?

I don't know how he spotted it like They're tiny, they're little fish Kyle's got an eye thing The Babses, Babs' fish, I'm little. Well, there's a question mark now on who is Babs. Mine's eating the rocks. That's accurate. Oh, there it is.

Okay, all right, we'll get Lewis on. Oh, you know what? Yes, we will. I was just about to say, someone's got to check in on Babs' fish at 3pm because it might be into tears. I'm going to be crying. It'll be under the rock crying, the other fish will be bullying it. Anyway, yeah, get to Lewis. I'm going to tell you what Kyle has spotted in our tank.

Big news in Jess and Ducko HQ this morning. We did get a fish tank. We do have fish. The team is a little bit excited. We're so excited. You can see some behind the scenes. Of our fish, our fish tank, the unbelievable team at Thin Vision.

Aquariums in Tugara have hooked us up. Babs is on her way down to Tugara with 60 glass jars. Yeah, we sent her. That's the train. It's only right. But there are a couple of extra fish there. We're going to work how you can get the honour of those fish being named after you. workshop.

Yeah, Shagga is furiously working on that now. Good friend of the show, Shane, had a suggestion, and it makes us look real crap, daco. He goes, wouldn't you call the extra fish Lucia in Florence? I'm like, oh, that would have been a sweet idea. That's boring, though. Oh, okay, good. I made me feel bad.

I was like, didn't even consider that. But no, I did tell you we received a DM from Finn Vision. I assume it's Kyle operating this thing. Yeah, because we've all got fish in there to know to us. Yeah, where... One's a bottom feeder albino. Shagos is like a pointy long thing. guy who keeps following me around. That's right.

You're a fluorescent, colourful. And I realise I'm floating around the top. And Babs said, I reckon you're waiting for the food to come. I went, bang on. Spot on. Bab is hiding behind rocks and eating them. Babs is a awful looking catfish. And we couldn't find it.

Great for the ecosystem, though. It's now sucking on the glass. I think it's hungry. You have that. That runs in your family. Just ate all the food. But the vision, it's pretty chaotic. You can see for yourself on the story.

Kyle. Yeah. Eagle-eyed Kyle. He has said, oh, this is funny. There's definitely an extra fish in there. And I wrote back being like, yeah, yeah, we've worked it out. Some of the Denios. I think you said there was two, but it looks like there might be three even four.

But they're fast buggers. I can't count him. He goes, no, no, this guy, that's a purple harlequin rasboa. She must have snuck in the bag. I did not intend to give you a purple harlequin rasbora. Not the Rasbora. Rasbora? I make it up.

Kyle has said, that can be Babs. Hang on. The purple harlequin Rasbora has snuck herself into our tank. How did she get in? Cole, you brought the fish? Kyle must have been scooping up the denials. She just, she went, oh, maybe she's in love with one of the other fish, and she's like, I need to be in there.

I will not be separated, like the bun and sausage from the sauce. Oh, God. I mean, I get it, but. Sorry, Jess. You love that movie. I've got to speak for the people, though. Where I go, you go, Brenda and... Is that your fish in there, though?

No, no, no, look, this one, this one. But I haven't seen that one in there. Kyle, that's a screenshot from our video, bro. He has spotted that. So we haven't named that one yet? No, because... That's a very pretty fish. Do we reckon he'd want to be a purple harlequin Rassabora?

No, he sounds like a rock feed. I reckon we make it our GM because he was so unhappy with us getting a fish tank. That can be Mike. That can be. Is that the bride to smooth things over? Let's get him over and go, hey, buddy. Do you want to be the...

Hey, big wheels. Hey, Terbo. Can we have a chat? We have named the Purple Harlequin Raspora, sneaky. Sneaky bugger. He's lurking. She's snuck in the bag

to join her pals at Jess and Tucker HQ in our fish tank. Fantastic. So Kyle, unbelievable spot from Kyle. Great scenes. But the Purple Harlequin, sneaky. I was really hoping that message is going to be like Babs' fish

is doing like really peculiar things. Well, Kyle, I mean, Babs' fish, as you said, we found her hiding, well, them, I should say, because the sex has not been denoted. The fish hasn't reached puberty. Yeah, Babbs haven't reached some. Babs clean the tank, feeding and checking every day. Check the genitals of the fish every day until you can work out. What an exciting job you've got, Babs.

Can you please ask Carl while my fish keeps sucking everything? Isolated. Yes and Ducko. Did you see the hot announcement? I did see the hot announcement. But what I saw, Daco, was a tease for a podcast that's dropping today, which teased an album that's dropping a bit later. Correct. So it's classic Taylor Swift. And I saw mint green everywhere. Mint green and orange. Orange. So New Heights, the podcast with her boyfriend, Chiefs Tideon, Travis Kelsey and his brother, Jason Kelsey, which is one of the biggest sporting-based kind of podcast in the world.

Now, can I quickly drill down on that sporting podcast? Yeah, sporting. Usually. Yeah, yeah. And NFL. In the NFL, right? They're both athletes themselves. Do they usually have pop star guests? Never. Oh, actually, you know, they've had Bill Murray last week. Okay.

They've had Adam Sandler. Sure. They actually do get big guests. Sure. But Taylor Swift famously never does interviews and podcasts. I literally just tried to do a quick thing. When was the last time someone got to sit down, whether it was a podcast, a Vogue interview? She's not done one for two years.

She was time person of the year two years ago. And that's the last sort of anyone chatted with her. Yep. Then they put up a silhouette with the background looking like the color of the album. And it looked like a silhouette of her. And they said, big announcement coming. Taylor put a clock on and there's some orange background with a clock timing down. Yeah, timing down.

All the Swifties went nuts for it. It had the clocks on their screens. It was going viral at every office place. Everyone was looking for it. And then they dropped this teaser clip for the podcast, which then drops today. So I wanted to show you something. Okay. What do we got?

We got, uh... A briefcase? Yep. Mitt Green, the TS on it. Yep. What's in it? This is my brand new album, The Life of a Show. Girl girl.

What a supportive future brother-in-law, Jason Kelso. He's great. He's playing a long ago. He's probably never heard of Taleswit song. Obviously, Travis would have known if he's coming because they're in the same room together in the clip. But Jason just seems overwhelmed. He's a great dude.

I've never seen that many comments and reshares from people who aren't like sports fans or publications that aren't. Like this podcast episode will absolutely break the internet. It'll have the most listens of anything I reckon of all time. That's pretty cool that. Jay, Travis was like, babe, I know you've been working on this album. Which also, when did she have time? She just wrapped up the years to her that went for so long.

She's doing three-hour shows every night. Apparently, it's a double album too, 20 songs. When does this woman sleep or eat? She's a robot. It's unbelievable, the work ethic on her. But Travis was like, but can you come on the? Maybe our numbers are dwindling. Can we have the exclusive?

Jump on. This is going to be cute. I actually can't wait to hear it. I don't even know why. The episode? Yeah, I just want to listen to the podcast. Babbs is excited to listen to it. Our resident, Swifty.

Babs, she's in here. I'm so excited. Yeah. So, Babs, the life of a show... Because everything around the Taylor Swift law, everyone reads into everything. Yeah. So the 12th album era of a showgirl,

what is it called? The What of a showgirl? What does it all mean? What can we expect? Well, I've heard people saying that because the tortured poets department was a black and white album, it was quite sad. Because this one is kind of like mid green and orange

is going to be like kind of happy and more like an old-school Taylor album. It's a bit taller. She's happy. Yeah, exactly. Everyone's hoping that it kind of is like a bit more of a throwbacky vibe. You know how her songs used to be really happy and like, you know, like, yeah. But did you see Babs that August is the 8th month and podcast is coming out at 7pm, which is 87, which is Travis's number.

Oh, I also saw that if the predicted time, it's going to come out is October. Oh, the album? Yeah. Okay. What does that mean? Well, someone's saying that. October, obviously, Jess, you know what it means? It's just the 10th.

Because they haven't actually released when it's coming out that people are saying that they think it's October. You know what else, Ducko? It's her 12th album. What's 1 plus 2? 3?

Yeah. Yeah. That means something. Good. Doesn't that mean something? Does it? Well, you know what? What mean green is on the Pantone color chart?

What is it? All these things that come out from their fans. Like, you got to wind up. It's number 12. It's all linked. She's a genius, isn't she? People eating out of her hand. She's the same.

She's the same. She's the same. She's the same. She's the smart. She's truly the smart. artist business woman on the planet, let alone an incredible artist, let alone just so loved up and happy, like those clips are just so sweet talking about how he's wearing a jumper the colour of her eyes. Oh my God. I'm getting sucked in too. Surely half the things the fans make

up and tell is like, yes, that is what I intended. Yes, I could. Yeah, yeah. Actually, let's not get anyone offside. No, no. It's all. Hey, we're Swifty's. You know, I went to the show. I'm going to hold to the Kelton guys. Yes, you did. All three hours of it. Your favorite song was. Oh, reputation. Absolutely. Actually, no, look what you made me do. Yeah, that's a fun one. That is a good song.

That's a good song. Anyway, sorry, Babs, you've pre-ordered the vinyl, obviously. Well, no, it's pre-order. Oh, gee. I can't pre-order it yet. Come on. Keep up. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on Yance. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to set your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back, of course, if there is time. We are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Marr.

Mary. Mary. Good morning. There's a glare on my screen. I thought it was Mark, but it's Mary. Hello, Mary. One of the holy names, Doug. I think you should be very familiar with Mary.

That's right. Sorry, Mary, how are you? Oh, fantastic. It's left-handed day, so I thought I'd ring up and try and get a bit of good luck because I've had some bad luck this morning. Hang on, Mary. Sorry, did you say it's left-handed day? Yeah, happy left-handed's day.

Happy left-handed's day, Mary. I don't know we had a day. We've got two in this room. Shy guy, you and me, Mary, we should catch up. Absolutely. Go shopping for some left-handed scissors. Oh, they're hard to find. But when you get them, actually, I got a full bag of them from a rice cooker who gave me about 30.

Yeah, there's some in the studio. Yeah, they're great. I used them all the time. Why do these feel so weird for me as a righty? Cut my daughter's umbilical call with them. Absolutely, you dear. Oh, Mary, thank you for educating us. I'm so glad.

that you were chosen today. It feels like a lefty's day. I feel like that's something we missed. We should have known that. We or old man, I don't know. Well, shit, shy Lord. It's because the other day off here, say fingers are not on the pulse.

That's right. You're lagging. You're lagging. Mary, what's motivating you today? Besides buying yourself a brand new pair of left-handed scissors, what do you want to spend 10 grand on? When I came, I was on my way to work today, and unfortunately, with all the pot holes,

I hit two of them. And I blew out two tires. Oh, my. Left-handed stay? Yep, yeah. I need a bit, good luck. All right, we need to correct. Because tyres aren't cheap,

a couple hundred bucks a pop. You know? Yeah, yeah, four, five hundred eight. But to be fair, once they get there, they'll be like, ah, you need your wheel alignment done as well, Mary. The tread on your back two tires is looking like it's going to go, so you need four new tires. She's going to need the 10 grand.

All right, Mary, I'm so sorry your Wednesday has started that way, but let's write this wrong. Let's correct this ship. The letter you're going to work, with, we're going to the top of the alphabet for you, Mary. It's A, A for Alfa Bucks. Mm-hmm. All right, you ready to rock?

Yep. Your time. Do it for the lefties. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter A, we need you to name a cleaning brand. A Jack. A musical.

Class. An appliance. Plus. A video game. A benches. A piece of furniture. Pass. An animal?

Pass. A car brand. A Audi. A chocolate. A rugby league player. Pass. Something loud. Well, we got through all 10.

We had a lot of passes. More passes than correct. I've never heard a more assertive pass. It was her tactic, wasn't it? It was a real past tactic. If I don't know, pass it, come back to it. You got yourself three. Three are the best.

Three are the best. A musical, Mary, could have been Annie and appliance. We talk about it a lot on this show. No, we don't. We talk about rice cookers. To be fair, air fries come up. I'm signing with one of my mates about who. Air fry.

Yeah, a piece of furniture could have been the armchair. An animal could have been an albatross or an armadillo, a chocolate arrow. A rugby league player, Andrew Johns. Our boy, Adam Elliott. Adam Elliott. Yes. Yeah, something loud could have been an alarm, an airplane. You could have said.

You could have said Angela. Angela, loud. She feels like she'd be loud. Look, Mary, unfortunately, we don't get your new tires after your horrible morning, but you do get $100 to spend at Temple and Webster. Imagine the glow-up you could give your home with up to 40% of furniture, homewares and renovations at temple and webster.com.com. Fantastic.

Thanks, guys. Thank you, Mary. Thank you for joining the show. Bye. She's just disappointed. She's now thinking about her. Popped tires going, well, that was no help. She's like, if only I was right-handed, maybe I'd be better enough of us.

God damn it. The planet day sucks. Hey, now, Ducco, I'm just thinking out loud here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Thank you. I don't even know when you're doing it anymore.

Double past Ed Shear and up for grabs is our call of fame. Gitty up. You've got one of the great questions next. Yeah. What can't you live without? Yeah. I noticed on holidays, I could not live without something. Mm-hmm.

I'm an old man. Jess and Ducco. I noticed on our holiday we recently had our professional development. You guys know that I like to do. travel or I like to sleep with a cuddle pillow, like my boomerang cuddle pregnancy pillow thing. You have admitted to this before. Did you steal it off, Morgan?

Or did she not like this one? I had one for years and she liked mine and then wanted to take it. I was like, I got to the point where I was like, no, I need this and she got her own. Get your own. She got a better one. And I was like, well, you got a better one. I need a better one. So I upgraded mine.

So we all got new ones. Yeah, we all got new. What became of the old one? I think we threw it out because it was pretty old. I had it for a fair few years. I was gifted one. and I didn't like it. It was one of the full-length body ones.

Oh, God, I'd love one of those. Oh, see, I didn't like that. I gave it to Gianni, the dog. I can't believe that. He loves it. We went overseas recently in New Zealand and, like, staying in various Airbnbs and hotels. Because I'm a side sleeper.

I can't sleep with my back. Because you're a bung shoulder. My bung shoulder. And I comes to my front because I can't put my hands upon my head and whatever. So I'm a side sleeper. And I realized about two days into the trip, my lower back was on fire. And I was like, I'm not even exercising.

What am I doing? I'm carrying the load of my family. but surely I've got three bags A kid A pram, a stroller Morgan's bag was so heavy And then flowed out

This massive bag And I was like How does this happen You know And a stroller A bouncer I started calling Angus Pack horse

You're ready to go Just load up the car again Here we go Like Anyway I started to notice it really bad Got it about four five days in

And it was like I'm taking some painkillers For this thing Wow it's that bad I then realise It's because I don't have My Cuddle pillow In any holiday

That we're going to Any place we're staying And my knee is It's obviously bad to sleep on your side when your leg rolls over and then it actually puts lots of pressure in your lower back? Yes.

And your hips are thrown out. I was sore. Like I was having to stretch. I was in having to get like three different pillows just to make a form of a cuddle pillow. Do, did you contemplate packing it but you thought it's taking up unnecessary room?

Or do you not travel with it usually? I travel with it if we're driving up north to Queensland. Or chuck it in the boot. I chuck it in or if we're going to stuff. But like it's gone to the point. I have a box party this weekend in Queensland. You can't bring it to a bus. I want to pack it because I don't want my lower back to be sore.

I need my sleeping environment to be perfect. You've already expressed a little bit of concern about this box because it's your sister's future husband. You're the brother-in-law, I know. I'm the brother-in-law. I'm the brother-in-law. You know, like, three people. That's my rocked up. Look, this nerd-bus own pillow.

Don't you have to share beds? Yeah, we're going to share bed. You showed me the house. It's a bunk bed, double-bunk situation. You can't. Hey, what's your name? Joseph. Hi, I'm Ducco.

Sorry, I'm just going to make some room for me. Cuddle pillow here, Joseph. And you know what I also want to bring? Something else I couldn't live without Jess? My squatty potty. You guys got me a squatty potty and I was overseas and I never pooed right. I had something to share with you. I retract the squatty potty.

It's the best. You cannot travel with that. Oh, to be fair, there is a model that is collapsible. The one you got me is. Yeah, sure I guys. Yeah, but I put your better one that I put my... Fit right in the box. There is a collapsible one.

But yes, I also didn't pack mine. Oh my God. And it is traveling where you do realize, oh, the creature comforts at home. I need them wherever I go. And I do think it is something. to do with age. And like sleeping and pooing, like vital things on a holiday.

Vital to keep you going. To keep you going. Exactly. And I was, I was hungry. To enjoy the holiday. We've got to make sure the 1% is those boxes are ticked.

Yeah. But it was one of those moments where I was like, well, I'm 34 and I've reached that level where I just actually cannot sleep without this pillow now. Yes. Otherwise, it's really affecting me.

Because I can't, I'll like, I might fall asleep in my back, but I'll wake up on my side. Yes, yes. And then you're in pain. I'm in pain. You need to be coddled. Yep, always.

Straddling something. The nomination I was going to give you was a spoolie. Do you know what a spoolie is? No. It's basically a little eyebrow brush. You could use it to also apply mascara. Oh, yeah. Because the one thing that irks me more than anything in photos if my eyebrows aren't brushed up.

But they're really easily... What an ira. I didn't want to say anything. I didn't notice out a lot of your photos ever seen. Oh, because I don't like to use the soap or the glue, but so they flop down. Did you know eyebrows? No, I did not know that.

Because the look for 2025, I know it's all. cyclical with fashion and beauty trends. But you got to brush up. You got to brush up. Right. That's what I'm trying to be doing wrong. Sometimes I see photos of myself. I go, oh, God, I look so unkempt.

Because I haven't brushed me up. So did you not take it overseas with you? Well, no, I broke it. Oh. And then I went, I don't know how to say spoolie in Italian. I can't buy that from the fun. It's a spoolia. So that's probably something I can't live without.

Fair enough. And you know what? What you can't live without is different to what I can't live without? And I'm not going to judge me. Hell no. We're not going to judge the rice cookers. 13, 10, 60. you can't live without, or are you...

I have to have a phone case on my phone at all times. Never naked. Yeah. I'm surprised. You said anything? I was like, this is a man who has no attachments. Yeah. He does not care for anything.

Nothing gets him excited. But a phone case. Yeah. I'd love to not have a case on it because I think they're ugly and bulky. Yeah, if iPhones look sexy out of the case, but you need a case. You just have to have a clumsy boy. He's got long phalanchees. He does have...

And he's tall. It's a long way for the phone to drop. Yeah. I'm very intrigued to see this one. Babsy? What can't you live with that? I haven't had a big thing. about it but lately it's my ugg boots because as soon as i walk through the door when i come

home i take my shoes up and put my ugg boots on now this is i can't not have them on this is the question sock or sockless or sock you need sock yeah otherwise it's sweaty in there's so gross you get sweaty toes i know i don't sock mortals big big fantastic ugg boot people okay they say no socks sponsored by mortals putting the sock in the uhg creates more room for bacteria and sweat and all that. They advise sockless in your uggs. No. There's a lesson for you.

What? Yes. I will only trust Ugg the brand. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, shy guy, that's a job for you today. Reach out to Ugg. But the question.

What can't you live without? Yeah, what's your cuddle pillow? What's your cuddle pittle? Jess and ducco. Jess and ducco. Someone deemned in response to the fish cam on the Jessanduck Instagram story saying I love how much of the show this has taken up and I don't know if she's taking

the piss. Actually, I was thinking about it before. It's taken a fair bit of our show. But not right now. Pardon us. A new pet. A new addition to the family. It's exciting.

Come on, you should be excited too. If you're part of the Jess and Ducko journey. You could get a fish named after you. So I wouldn't poo poo too fast. No. Speaking of, who's going to clear up the poo? 13, 1060. Obviously.

Did my fish just do a poo? I did. With her tiny poo per scooper. Yours is the feeder things. It feeds. Oh, mine's eating it. Is yours eating? I'm a poo eater, baby.

Sometimes in this industry, you've got to eat a bit of shit to get where you want to go. You have no idea how much they need to get here. True our words. You have no idea. Anyway, 13, 1060. Like father like fish. Dad taught me that from a young age. What can't you live without?

I realized when I recently went to New Zealand on holiday professional development that I cannot, I actually can't sleep without the cuddle pillow, the boomerang pillow, whatever you want to call, the pregnancy pillow, because I don't. I'm a side sleep and it really hurts my lower back. You're going to have to work out how to shrink it down. Pack it with you always. You want a box party this weekend. I implore you.

Don't worry that you don't know 90% of the boys. Do you boys like to party? I've got my pillow. That it's your future brother-in-law and you're already probably going to be on the outs being the bride's brother. Yeah. Pack the pillow. It's not worth the pain.

Yeah. I'm pondering it. Jess, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Babe. Excellent. What can't you live with you?

mine is the same and I'm not even joking it's a pillow but I suffer really bad from like um brief flux and like I even have to take my pillow to my lash appointment oh my god you can't be horizontal for what more than 20 minutes I literally can't I went and got a massage yesterday with my husband and I took my pillow and they're like what's this I'm like no it needs to be my special pillow so where do you put it when you lie down um so I stack like three pillows up And then I have my little one, like, in between my neck. And I'm literally pretty much sitting upwards. I just can't me down.

Wow. That's hilarious. Jess is keeping Gavis gone and nexium in business. Bring the pillow. I thought that box was bad, but bringing the pillow to massage. An eyelash appointment. I have to. I would die.

Like, seriously, I've got one more real quick, too. Oh, yes? We travel a lot as a family. And every time we go away, there's always broken tongs or no tongs in the drawer. So best believe, I've always got tongs in the car. Shut up. That is so good. You're like, I don't have to suffer through inferior tongs.

I will bring my own tongs. I've got two kids. I need tongs. That's funny. That is next level. Tongues and pillow. That's always in Jess's car. We found our people.

Oh, hell yeah. That's great. Michael, hello. How you going? Yeah, good, babe. What can't you live without? I've got an inversion table that's, yeah, so it hangs upside down by your feet and it's good for your back and there.

We've got another back issue. Oh, so it's one of those weird, it almost looks chiropractic, where it like flips you upside down and you're strapped in? That's it, yeah, I've seen those. So, Michael, hang on, you can't live without it. Do you travel with this thing? No, it's a bit too big to travel. It's a bit too.

I was going to say, how do you fold that down? Yeah. Wow. He doesn't leave the house. Nothing makes me laugh more than when we get someone on who's real blokey. And good morning. There you go and Jess goes, good babe. How are you?

Michael, did you like being called babe by Jess? Babe, no, I can live with that. I'm going to say, do I have to apologize? Because I know I go hard with nicknames and pet names. You know what? I always say, play the player, not the game. I am not good at that. Sienna, how are you champion?

No. I'm absolutely, how are you? Good, Sienna. What are? What can't you live without? I can't live without my deodorant and perfume. I, like, have a fear of smelling bat. Oh, I can't wait.

Always got to have an on. Sienna, how many will you travel with? Just one of each? Or have you got, like, a collection when you go on the road? I've got a collection. Yeah. Wow, she's got to, there's got to be some sort of, one for every occasion.

What's the phobia? Phobia of smelling. Yeah, bad. Bad. She has that extra sport one. Absolutely. Stain free. Yeah. Oh, no white streaks in Sienna's household.

We go to Josie on 131060. What kind of you live with our, Jose? Morning, guys. Morning. Morning, babe. Hey, babe. You should do it too. Makes me look less weird.

I can't live without my wheat bag, like winter or summer. How weird is that? Like a heat pack. Are you getting cramps a lot? What's the wheat bag? No, I just love it. Give us an example of when you're using the wheat bag. Yeah, what headspace are you in that?

You know what to fix? There's a wheat bag. I just like warm it up and then I put it like on my legs and I just like go to sleep. It's just the best thing. On your legs? So not even on the, I just assume wheat bag goes on belly, I mean, I mean, I am 30 weeks pregnant at the moment, but it's not, it's just, I just, I just love my wheat bag and mum's like, you were so weird with this wheat bag.

Like, why do you like it? Is it the one wheat bag you've had forever, Josie? Like you've got an affinity to this particular wheat bag or will you take any wood bag? No, yes. I've had it for a long time. My partner's like, can we get this wheat bag out of the bed now? Yeah, it's always the same. We've got a blue wheat bag.

We've had it for years. And like, they are good to heat up. Yeah. You've got any aches of pains? They're so good. What's the lifespan of a wheat bag, though, Joes? Like, is your husband going, this thing is manky as all hell. Get rid of it.

Yeah, I don't know. I probably should get a new one. It might explode one day. Oh, Jesus, yeah, that would be bad. And you're microwaving the wheat bag? Yeah, like for two minutes. I've never met anyone passionate about a wheat bag. Yeah, I love it, but she can't live without it.

You'd travel without a box, wouldn't you, Josie? Oh, 100%. A hands and all. I definitely recommend you should take your pillow. I think I'm going to. Yeah, you've got the rice cookers. My brother, I'm like, so this is my future wife's brother. I'm like, what's up, boys?

Anyone want to cuddle with me pillow? Jess and Ducco. Chagot, I love your pants. Bab, stop crying. I need energy. Just stop eating on camera. Rolling camera. Rolling lights.

Rolling audio. Dukos. Acting class. And action. Welcome to Ducko's studio. My Fair Fespians. Let's get in the zone. It's get the zone.

Absolutely. Because so we have an important movie. It's Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone. A good three-hander. And all three of you, Babs, Jessica, and Shy Guy will be playing a role. Now, we're skipping the audition process. Yeah, I've cast you. You've cast us already, knowing what you know about us.

Yep. And the motivations, I guess, of these three huge pop culture figures. Who will be doing what? Well, Jess, I've cast you as Harry Potter. I'm honoured. And this is... What a role. This is the film I believe where his balls dropped

So I can't want to hear that too in your performance Okay, absolutely Which means in this chess scene that we're doing A vital scene, Ron plays a big role And I thought, Sean, I can't read too well So Babs I've cast you as Ron Yes You have a huge role

And shy guy, you, my friend of Hermione Great, I love Hermione Yes She's important too I want you all to try and, you know, put your voices on, your young kids That's Lucia, Lucia, you're not in this You are, you can be co-director

do with me. Oh, I love that. First AD. First AD. First AD. So, uh, you all have your roles. I'm going to, I've got the real scene here in the movie. I'll play that after because we don't want to ruin you. No, let's, let's compare at the end. Yes, compare. Who does it better? Okay. All right. So take your scenes. Okay. Remember, you're young kids. This is your, it's at the end of the film. You're in a chest wound. Your motivation is you don't want to die. Okay. And then, the trio enters a dark room. room filled with broken chess pieces scattered around.

They notice a giant chessboard with massive animated chess pieces. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Where are we? A graveyard? This is no graveyard. It's a chessboard. There's the door.

They walk towards the door, but as they reach a line of pawns, the pawns raise their swords blocking their path. The trio jumps back. Now what do we do? Oh, Hermione. Sorry, cut, cut, cut. That's sounded like Harry, though. Hermione, either have your voice as a girl or don't. I realized I had to commit to that.

Are you channeling Emma Watson? I channeled Daniel Wagner for a second. I want you to be frightened. I'll take that part again. Did you notice, director, I was the only one who reacted to the chess pieces. All right. The trio jump. Action.

Now what do we do? It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room. You're not done. All right. Harry, you take the Bishop Square. Hermione, you'll be the Queen's side castle. As for me, I'll be a knight.

They take their positions on the board. Ron mounts the knight's horse. I just don't believe that she'll be a knight. You know? Oh, you didn't feel it? I didn't feel it. Hold on. And one of the actors is cutting mid-scene for their co-stars.

Babs, I want you to say that last sentence again, but I want you to give it passion and energy like a 3pm cry. All right, action. As for me, I'll be a knight. Oh, yeah, good, good, good. What happens now? Quietly cheer, we're acting Well, white moves first and then we play

A white porn moves forward Ron studies the board Hmm Ron, you don't suppose this Good study Yeah, but then I threw myself with the line by improvising Ron, you don't suppose

this is going to be like a real wizard's chest to you Yes, Hermione I think this is going to be exactly like Wizard's chest Good work, Leachia, you're playing the wizard chess board Nice She's the one trying to kill us She's Voldemort

The game continues with pieces smashing each other violently. Another piece is destroyed with a loud crash. The White Queen moves smashing another black piece. Harry, Ron and Hermione wins. Oh, wait a minute. You understand right, Harry. Once I'll make my move, this is the Queen will take us. Then you're free to check the king.

No, Ron, no! What is it? He's going to... He's going to sacrifice himself. No, you can't. I want to feel that long, shy. I want to feel that long. Go again.

No, you can't. There must be another way. Nice. Ron! Hermione starts to move towards him. No, don't move. Harry and Hermione, run to Ron, who was lying on the floor after he's been attacked. We cut a bit.

Yeah. They kneel beside him. Take care of Ron. Then go to the hourly. Send a message to Dumbledore. Ron's right. I have to go on. You'll be okay, Harry.

You're a great wizard. I really want you to mean that line. This is an intimate moment between you two. This is before J.K. Rowling knew that Ron and Marnie were going to date, I think. This is a bit flirty. 100%. The flirty.

the first couple of films was definitely Harry and her mind. Yeah, so go a bit flirty. You'll be okay, Harry. Wait, I'll do that again. Cut, action! You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard. You really are. I don't know. If that's you floating.

Have you got the hodge for me or not? Yeah, come on. I really hit it with a you're a great wizard. Yeah, so good one, Lucia. All right, go again. You'll be okay, Harry. Wait. You find me sexy and strong and really smart. I'm a great wizard.

It's just hard. You're a great wizard, come on. You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard. You really are. Not as good as you. Hang on. Why do you get the flurby line?

We're not smutting. And cut and see. I think they're 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here's the actual audio of the real scene. My move, the queen will take me. Then you're free to check the king. No.

Ron, no. What is it? He's going to sacrifice. himself. No, you can't. There must be another way. Do you want to stop Slay from getting that stone or not? Harry, it's a you that has to go on. I know it. Not me. Not Hermione. You. Oh, brilliant, Gus. I think that house was better. I think yours was complex. Yeah. It was layered. A child girl was doing improv. He was reacting. Yeah, but every time I improv, I threw myself off. Yeah, I was screwed. Well, don't team.

Jess and Ducco. Welcome to a glorious Wednesday. If you've missed any this show. Make sure you grab it on. Listen, I'll revigate your podcast. Lots of fun. One of the great additions of shy guy dips, I would argue, for our first one back after three weeks of professional development. I think it's nice to see that shy guy has not developed at all in his clues. Zero development. Zero development. But a box of great start is headed someone's way. Yeah. Woolworth's brand. Oh, Willie's brand. Which you actually thought that looks half decent. Well, it did look fairly healthy. I mean, I still think there's high sugar content, but it looks pretty good. Forty percent reduced sugar though. But what

Does that mean reduced from what? Fruit loose? Because there's still a lot of short-ups. There's still a fair bit. We also obviously got the fish tank today. You can hear all out the podcast, the update. Who's got what fish? And check out the vision on the Jess and Ducko story.

Yep. Say if you can spot the purple harlequin rasbora. Oh, yeah. Which allegedly snuck into the bag from Finn Vision aquariums and has made its way to Jess and Ducco HQ. I went on a look at it. That thing is tiny. It's tiny.

How quile our eagle-eyed fisherman actually saw that. Yeah. Unbelievable, but she's not meant to be with us, and yet here she is. She's got a love affair with someone. Living her best. It was a great show. As I said, yeah, get it, podcast. Tomorrow's Thursday.

We are back with Thursday? Now, are we coming back with wordioki? Now, Ducco, excellent. Because I feel like we don't want to cancel every game. No, so we did put it out that after our break, we have a little refresh. Who should be binned? We asked the rice cookers on the Jess and Ducco socials. Yeah.

At 44% they've said Werdioki, which means 56%. 6% want to see Year of the Song in the bin. So I think that means year of the song, adios. Well, wordioki lives on. The only thing I have issues with the Instagram poll is sometimes people just vote and don't know what they're voting for. Yeah, because they don't hear it. But I literally wrote, which game should we bin?

Like, it's literally there. But do they voting because they want to keep it? It literally says which game should we in. You're trusting people then voting, like, sometimes they don't even listen if they vote on the Instagram, you know what I mean? Oh, I understand what you're saying. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, but the words are there understood. You don't think, oh, are you calling into question the validity of vote? Well, you know, we'll have to discuss it. Yeah. But I thought you wanted to keep wordyoke. Oh, I don't know. Well, then it's worked in your favour. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't mind. There was a lot of backlash yesterday with people not getting rid of a year of the song. And I just thought, geez, people care about this thing. Well, those people, I hope, voted for wordioki, and yet it wasn't. My issue is some of them don't have Instagram Yeah, that's true Oh, well, then okay But we'll see

We'll discuss it Are we playing or are we not playing? We'll discuss it off there We'll have a little meaning That'll be back tomorrow Alparks will be back tomorrow You know, we'll be here The fish will still be here

Hopefully none's died Well, we are going to do a poll We're going to do a bet We should do a bet We should die first God hopefully no one dies Within the next 24 hours Because we haven't worked out

The parameters of the bet Oh no We'll workshop that We'll workshop it Yep yeah There's a jiz bit on the line Hey, we're out of here, but I'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye. Say-na-da. No, this is my pump. Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The rumors are true. Maca's new Mick Grittles is finally on the Brecky menu.