Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I'm not gay but $20 is $20...

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

We put Ducko against Gianni - who will win in a sprint, we debut a new game and we send off Ducko as he goes on paternity leave!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Minecraft movie Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's with one of 12 toys to collect. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo Podcast. Welcome to the podcast, everybody. I feel like I've said it multiple times today, but last podcast, top. Yes. Kidless. Yeah, last podcast.

Yeah. This is my last radio show, Kidless, and I wonder how different I'll be or if I'll be different. You have been in radio, God, 15 years? A long time. Since I was, I mean, I was doing kind of on the street team stuff in radio from when I was in grade 12. Oh my God.

So when I was like 17. That was street team. But still, you've been in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For that long. Yeah. Incredible. And now, yeah, it just feels like this brand new chapter.

Crazy. Crazy. It's not even a chapter. It feels like maybe like the second volume. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. It's like, it's been such a, it's been such a journey to get here, but the story's just beginning. Exactly.

Yeah, it's crazy. And it was so great looking back, I thought, because the depth and despair and the heartbreak and how emotionally tumultuous it all was. And the past few months has been joy and fun and making jokes and talking about some of the very personal things, but just so funny. Yeah, yeah. So it's just been. It's been a full, yeah, full, yeah.

And yet the journey hasn't even begun. I know. You know, once she gets here. I know. I can't wait to just hear this next batch of stories from you. And I'm really glad we actually had this entire last week and I didn't have to go. Like, it wasn't like I left on Tuesday, I left on Wednesday. I was so nervous.

And I've mentioned a few times I gave Shy Guy a run for his money because I was like, we've got to get it done now. You've got to make sure it's ready because if he has to go and we can't share these things with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's actually played out perfectly to plan. Your daughter has been very well behaved staying in so you can finish this week.

She's been very nice. Morgan said, oh, man, you should have seen her last night. Morgan was like, ah, ah, and I looked over and you could see foot kicking right near ribcage. Oh, she's ready. She's like out and up and her legs are just kicking. And I felt on it and it was violent kicking too. Wow.

Like 6.30 p.m. every night she's getting like, and Morgan's like, I think 6.30 is going to be witching hour for this child because every night at 6.30 p.m. every night, she's getting like, Morgan's like, I think 6.30 is going to be witching hour for this child. Because every night at 6.30, she's going nuts. And isn't it funny? Because you go, what? She doesn't know it's night at the time. And she's not resting when Morgan's resting. It's like, this is my party time.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, here I go. I don't care what you guys are on, what schedule you're on. Yeah. This is my world now. I know. You're about to live in a bitch. Wow.

And it's funny, a few people, after we had that look back, a few people were messaging me and commenting things like, can't wait for Lucia and insert baby name to like grow up and be mates. Because really, they'll only be 18 months apart. Yeah, they'll be different years at school. Probably different years of school. Not too far apart. And I said to one person, I was like, I can't wait for the day Lucia goes, hey, Ma, I'm going to go to Chelsea.

Hey, Ma, I'm going to Chelsea's house after school. And it'll be like, it's such a weird day. I'll have seen you in the morning, but our daughters are going to hang out. That's funny. Maybe join a sporting team together or just hang out because obviously we live close. So funny to think this next chapter. I know. It's crazy, isn't it? Of them being mates and having adventures. Yeah. Oh, it's amazing. She might be super smart and get brought up.

Lucia might be held back. They could be in the same year as four men. You never know. You never know. You never know. The way things play out. I know. I'm so intrigued to see.

Some of my best mates are a little bit younger or a little bit older. So you think when you connect in adulthood. Yeah. But we'll force them to hang out. We keep just, Morgan, I'm just so excited to see what little Pokemon we get. Like what genetic DNA she has. Like what does she look like? We'll be like, Morgan, like me, does she have half and half?

Yep. You know what I mean? What's her personality going to be? I went to make you a little book, well, her a little book. It's a little picture book you can personalize. But you have to create the avatar of the little child. Oh, yeah. And it's so pic, skin tone, eye color, hair color.

And I went, I just don't want to waste money if this kid doesn't look. So I'm like, wait till she comes out. Yeah, let's just see. Because I did that for Angus and made a little avatar of a kid that looked like me. Because he always said the ethnic genes will win. So strong. She came out blonde and blue eyes. So this book shits me every time.

I go, this is not you. If you have a second, you better go. That second comes out like you. I'm going to have to call it the most Aussie name ever, but it'll come out looking like me. Here comes Steve Smith rolling out. Come out as ginger. In between a brown and brunette and blonde.

But yeah, I know. It's just so much. It's funny. Don't, one word of advice from me. Yes. Don't judge your kid as soon as they come out because I remember. I remember. I can see you doing that.

I remember her being put on my chest and going, Jesus Christ. What is this? Because I was able to push out. Her face was squished. Oh, yeah. They do get a bit coney and a bit squishy. I look back at the video and you do have the rose colored glasses on. So I sent that video out. I sent it to you. She's on my chest. I look back at it now and you do have the rose colored glasses on. So I sent that video out.

I sent it to you. She's on my chest. I look back at it now and I'm like, Christ, she looks like a stung by bee. Yeah. Yeah. The face looks so weird. It was very Neanderthal. The brow bone was really protruding and like a little ant squished out.

So give them a couple of days to settle into what they actually look like. Yeah, that's it. But I bet you, because I've always said, like, I'll be able to tell. I'll be able to distinctively say that my kid is ugly if I think they're unattractive. Yeah, but don't judge in 24 hours. Yeah, but I still reckon the minute she comes up, like, oh, she's perfect. Perfect. And all you want, of course, is, you know, healthy and Morgan to be healthy and wonderful.

Oh, I can't wait to hear about Morgan's flaps. Yeah, I'll tell you all about the flaps. Thank you. You podcasts are going to get wild next season. Podcasts are going to get freaking. Next season. Yeah, we're going to hear about Morgan's flaps. I'll tell you all about the flaps. Podcasts are going to get wild next season. Podcasts are going to get freaking... Next season. Yeah, we're going to season five, Babs. Yeah, yeah.

You have to do the last season. Oh, we should do that when we come back from holidays. You've got four weeks. Oh, my God. It's a great idea. I'll be working, guys. Yeah, that's a good one. You can go, last season, last season on Jess and Ducker.

And then it's just like a big montage of Shy Guy's Diaries. I reckon like a nine minute and we can play it at the start of the show. And then Shy Guy's just an audio button in the corner going, skip recap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Skip. You can't. It's unskippable.

So we can then play it like 6.40 on the first Monday or 6.20 and then 8.40 on the first Monday back. I want to hear it. You can be off blog duty if you do this. You can work on that. What else are you actually planning on doing when that working two weeks? Yeah, what are you doing? I'm doing the best of show.

How long is that going to take? Are you doing that all yourself? Is Mr. Guy not helping? No, he's on holidays. On holidays. Holly, so you've got less a week. I'm just off. She's got one week.

I'm off for one week. Which week? The extra week. The third week. But you'll be She's got, yeah. I'm off for one week. So, which week? The extra week. The third week. Yeah. So, but you'll be working from home, yeah? Yes, I think so. Yeah, okay, yeah. So, working.

It'll be a couple of hours in the late morning, and then we'll go for hot girl walks, and we're just... How do you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Oh, you know the most of that. But anyway, last season. So, pick the best moments from each blog.

You brought it up, so now you've got to execute your own idea. Oh, that's a great idea, Babs. Why am I so creative? Because you studied communications and everything. I'm going to endorse you for that on LinkedIn. Yeah, you are so creative, Babs. No, that's fine. That's a great idea.

Oh, it's going to be wild. I can't wait to hear the first thing you want to talk about when you come back. Oh, me too, yeah. Like, it'll be interesting because your whole notes section will now be. Yeah, the old kids stuff. I've got to make sure we don't go too heavy on kids. I know, but those first few months, there's nothing else going to happen in your life to you.

Yeah, yeah. If anyone says that to you, tell me or we'll go and send a stern email. Because honestly, what else can you do? Yeah, yeah, you know, the one person will be. Yeah, I wonder if he's listening. Because I'm a chicken. I can't do face-to-face confrontation. I'll send an email.

Those first few months, there's nothing. If you're able to do other things, that's naughty of you. You know what I mean? You should be in the trenches. Yeah. With more. Well, my mum wants to go out for an Easter Sunday lunch. Can you share with the rice cookers what she packed?

Yeah, I was going to do this when we come back for content. Oh, save it. I'll save it. Because I think it'll hold. It'll hold for when I come back. Have you written it down? Yeah, I've written it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I wanted to do 13, 10, 60. What did your mum pack? What did your mum bring? I can't wait. So your mum's in town get a hold. It'll hold for when I come back. You've written it down? Yeah, I've written it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I wanted to do 13, 10, 60. What'd your mum pack? What'd your mum bring? I can't wait. So your mum's in town for two weeks. Yeah, oh yeah. My mum's in town for four days. Oh, man.

We are getting these ladies together. Yeah. Either the- Well, because I'll be in hospital as of Sunday. Yep. So, I mean, yeah, you can message my mum. I will. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, they need to get together. They need to meet. It'll either be the best of friends or they just want- Mortal enemies. Yeah, yes. Yep. I will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They need to get together. They need to meet. It'll either be the best of friends or they just want... Mortal enemies. Yeah, worlds will collide. Worlds will collide. Because what you did share, which we'll get to later, what your mum...

That might even be more peak than what I thought mum was going to be capable of. That's blown my mind. My mum has been extra for this whole thing. Fantastic comments to the outfit. You talked about today. Yeah, yeah, extra for this whole thing. Fantastic comments to the outfit. I know. You talked about today. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's hilarious. But team, have a good week next week. Thank you. We will. Enjoy it. Just a four-dayer. Yeah, enjoy that. It's fun.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it'll be fun. Yeah, it'll be a good time. We'll send you some highlights. So if you worked out, so Shy Guy's sitting here. Babs, are you seeing where Shy Guy sits? And they're running out to answer the phone. And running out to answer the phone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess. Good times, guys. It's going to be weird looking at you from the same angle and looking at you from that angle. It'll be like we've rotated. Yeah, a bit odd. Should I sit there?

Should we just really change it up? You can sit here if you want. Are you going to look at Jester in the chat? It's like Shaga doesn't look because he's on his laptop sometimes. Yeah, I'll look at her. Okay. I can make eye contact. Thanks so much.

Yeah, how good's that? You're welcome. That's hot. All right. Well, how good is that? You're welcome. That's hot. All right. Well, enjoy, team. You have the last word go. Time to say goodbye. Three old ladies were crying in the Andrea Bocelli concert because obviously their husbands,

it was used as their funeral song. That's because that's the first time they've been wet in a decade. Enjoy the show. their husbands. It was used as their funeral song. I would have thought that's because that's the first time they've been wet in a decade. Enjoy the show. Jess and Ducko in the morning. We're through Pintera. It's Friday. Good morning.

It's Friday, the 11th of April. Mark it in. Yep. Ducko's last show before paternity leave. Oh, it's my last show. Just me as me, guys. Then I have a different identity. Absolutely.

Your perspective, that old brain between your ears. Oh, we'll be seeing the world anew. Yeah. You're taking a month off. Obviously, we've got two weeks allocated work break in there. Yeah. So well done to your daughter for choosing to be born, you know, with minimal disruption to the show. Survey baby.

Survey baby is what my boss called her. I remember when you told boss Jase and he was so happy with you. Yeah, survey baby. And happy with Morgan. Who was? That's a tick. That's a tick. All you need is a couple of days either side.

We can give that to you, Ducco. Sweet. We'll keep the train on its tracks for as much as possible. Yeah. But no, how do you feel last day? Exciting. I stupidly got up early this morning, though. You set your alarm or your body woke you up?

No, I set my alarm. I got up early to watch the Masters go. And I was like watching it at like 4 a.m. And I was like, nah, this is probably a dumb call from me. I remember you coming in really early on Monday specifically for a bit. Yeah, it was NFL. To watch the NFL. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the Masters has just replaced that. It's only for four days. So it's just these couple of days. NFL's the whole season. Is this you hanging on to golf? You have a few bets on it. Masters is the biggest tournament in golf.

How do you bet on golf? Who literally is going to win or if that guy's going to make birdies? I've got a couple who's going to win and then we've got this one where you're in it with a group of people and you get on golf? Who literally is going to win or if that guy's going to make birdies? I've got a couple who's going to win. And then we've got this one where you're in it with a group of people and you get five golfers each who are different rank levels. So like rank 1 to 10, rank 10 to 20. It's like fantasy league for golf. Kind of.

And then if your five golfers do well on average at the end of the day, you can win. And like these things like, because it's like everyone puts in $50. That's a pretty penny. Thousands of people are put in. Yeah. So it's like a big, you know. That's a pretty penny. Thousands of people are put in. Yeah. So it's like a big, you know. How's your group going? Right now, good.

All four are going well. One's not going well. One's letting down the team. You need all five to survive because there's a cut after two days. Oh, the four can't carry. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, but there's so many people in this thing. It's just a bit of fun, you know.

That is fun. Yeah, yeah. Way to make, I'm not going to finish that sentence. I'm really excited for you. Thank you, but yes. I'm glad she hasn't come early. We get to have our last day together. I know, we've got a full week together this week, team.

To be honest, I've been annoying Shy Guy so much. I'm like, we've got to do this before Friday. And he's like, why? I'm like, what if she comes early? What if it happens? Stands to reason. Now we've got no goodies left for you because I went early. Truly Shy Guy.

Oh, actually, no, Shy Guy does have a new game. What's the threesome to that? And which I think is playing just for me. I went early. Truly Shy Guy. Oh, actually, no. Shy Guy does have a new game. What's the threesome to that? Which I think is playing just for me. I think so. It feels like a great send-off to play a game like that. Yeah, thank you, Shy Lord. Is that us three doing a position and Duggo has to guess? Yeah, you've got to guess what the position is.

Oh, I see. So it's you three. Yeah, me, Babs and Jess. Yeah, testing your knowledge. On a twister mat. Brought to you by Ming's Erotic Boutique. Hands to green. Left hand to green.

We should play nude twister as a team. It'd be nice bonding, I think. Did you say nude twister? How do you play twister? As a team, nude twister. Geez, that'd be some bonding. Yeah, it would be. Look at how expensive it comes.

Not bondage, bonding. Could you imagine? We wouldn't find the ball with Shy Guy. No, he'd have to have his own, another dial for the python. Yeah, yeah. The python to yellow. Oh, that's just a Shy Guy. It's just a Shy Guy.

It's got a python. That seems unfair. Yeah, it does. But hey, man. Hey, man. You have God's gift, you know? Just circle back to a golf analogy. Handicap.

Yeah, so true. Look at you go. Thank you. I know that. You really play the player in golf and put different restrictions on said abilities. You're playing off like a one, if that. Maybe negatives. Maybe negatives.

We're out here just grinding. I don't know what that means. I'll take it as a compliment. Duggo's trying to stretch his left hand and his right foot across the board. You need another challenge. Okay. Okay. All right.

Anyway, it's going to be a fun show. Yeah. Babs has already taken her clothes off. It's very exciting. Babs is going wild out there. She's also wearing a yellow thing on her chest. Oh, what do you got on your chest? It's a Twister reference.

Oh, like the spot? Yeah, yeah. Oh! So you do it. Babs has a deep cut. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Was I too serious?

When it's right hand to yellow blob. I was like looking at Babs. I was like, what? And Babs is looking at herself. what? Babs is looking at herself? Yeah, Babs is like, no, no. Shall I lose today, baby? Do you know what? Come on.

I've been riding him hard, Ducco. You need to lift where Ducco goes. It's just you and me, baby. You need energy. You and me. My parents are in town and I asked my dad to do some content for me. I said, dad, I'm going to be on my own next week, as in Ducco's not there. Yeah, yeah. I want to do something with you. He went, no, I'm not doing it. I said, dad, I'm going to be on my own next week, as in Ducko's not there. I want to do

something with you. He went, no, I'm not doing it. I said, you've got to lift. And my mum said, what do you want Shy Guy to do at all? Help her out, Robert. Yeah, come on. You've heard him. She's trying to make sure you don't have to do all the heavy lifting. It was kind of a backhand compliment. It was, but we'll take the compliment

part of it. Take the thin part of the compliment. My mum knows what's up. Is Babs stepping up next week too when I'm away? I've asked, Ducker. I've asked. She's got her first ever soccer game tomorrow. Only time will tell. Sunday. She's doing a daily blog.

That's happening. Hell yeah. Is Babs' blog happening daily? Every day, 6.20. Goodness, Matt. How do you feel, Babs? Every day. I haven't talked to you about it, but we're doing it.

Oh, jeez. I'm really hurting the team next week. The team's going to be absolutely pushed to their max. And you'll be hearing about it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Cal's the newborn. But also, you wouldn't believe what Babs did today. I'm getting texts from all of you individually.

You've got to be the mediator. Horrible today. You're like, Shy Guy's not lifting. Jess is requiring too much energy. Mediate for all of us. Ah, beautiful. Whilst you're juggling a newborn. Yeah, I'll have you fun.

But no, let's have some fun today. Let's rip and tear. Send off the duck man with a bang. Yep, we got that co-fod. Tickets to MJ the Musical plus, I might say, the Novotel Beautiful in Sydney and Darling Harbour. That'd be fantastic. We got Free Fuel Friday for grabs, but you need to get involved.

We're only going to give it to the best No Dumb Thought Friday next on 131060. Absolutely. Wow, I had a dumb thought last night. grabs, but you need to get involved. We're only going to give it to the best No Dumb Thought Friday next on 131060. Absolutely. Wow, I had a dumb thought last night. Oh, did you? I can't wait to share it with you. Great. It might be the dumbest I've ever felt.

Oh, I'll be the judge of that. Yeah, yeah. I've heard you do some dumb thoughts. Oh, I've had some dumb thoughts, but this one, really looking forward to sharing it with you. Okay. Last dumb thought for a while. Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. There's no such thought for a while. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You've heard of no such thing as a dumb question? Yeah. What about just those little niggling thoughts where you've had no safe space with which to discuss or dissect? Everyone needs a safe space. It's right here.

Hell yeah. 13, 10, 60. If you've got a dumb thought, we've got some free fuel for the dumbest of the dumb thoughts. The dumbest of the dumb. But I've been ruminating on something for the past 12 hours, Ducco. Well, I'm looking forward to this. Thinking about keys. Oh, come to me.

Missed a minute? Have you ever thought about keys? Ah, keys. And shapes. Keys are weird. They are weird. If you think about it, like an angles cut in that goes into a door and everyone's kind of unique. Ah.

That's what I want to question mark there. Ah. Of all the keys and all the doors. You telling me there's not a double up? There has to be. There has to be. There's only so many shapes we can make out of that length of metal. Yeah, yeah.

Steel. Into the door. Yeah, yeah. Steel. Into the door, into the rock. Yeah. What are the chances I come over to your house tonight and my key works in your door? Slim. Slim. Slim, but is it impossible?

Do you reckon we could find a key that fits someone else's door, like two of the same? Because unlike cars where, you know, now we're talking electromagnetics and technology where you could fine tune this key is to this vehicle. I see that. But a physical lock and key, I think there's only so many combinations. I wonder if there's like anyone who works at like a Mr. Mill or a locksmith or something like that could actually tell us on 131060. Because do they have separate, is it just like millions and millions of different

like lock combos and codes? And I'm not saying, yeah, you know, from key one to lock eight, that's one. And once that's off the register, no Mr. Minute in the world makes that combo. I mean, surely they double up. There's got to be a double up. Surely the guys who are Mr. Minute's like, ah, I gave this one to these people months ago. I'll give them it. They're never going to know.

They're never going to know. They're never going to see each other. Mr. Minutes, you know, cross postcodes and cross state lines. Yeah. I didn't think about that, but it makes sense. It does make sense. It does make a lot of sense. I'm not advocating for you to just try your key and everyone's trying yours.

It's what I'm hearing. It's what I'm hearing. We're going to go around today. I think it's still breaking and entering, even if you have a key that works in a lock. But it's made me nervous. It has, for sure. And I also think keys could be on the out because people are getting those codes. Like, you know, Airbnb houses?

Tap it. You know, we're doing some renos. And the architect did say, do you want the pin code door? Easy. No. You don't want it? Because yours would be 6969. And now we're talking about double ups.

We'll just come in and wing it and gain entry. It's my code too. Natalie called in to Babs and said, lots of caravans have the same key. Interesting. Caravan key makers are lazy. Think about caravans. Do you have to tell Mr. Minute, or I just keep saying Mr. Minute, whoever it is. Who else makes keys? Yeah, exactly. Do you have to tell them, this is a house just keep saying Mr. Minute, whoever it is. Who else makes keys?

Yeah, exactly. Do you have to tell them, this is a house key? And they go, ooh, okay, don't give it the caravan coverage. Oh. Don't give it the same. Good question, because at least the caravan on the move. Yeah, on the move. It's hard to pinpoint a caravan, unless it's in a driveway.

Yeah. Maybe. That's interesting. Do we do the house sort of cut and go to a different logger? Yeah, yeah. Thousands of combos. Ooh, you could be onto something, man. Maybe it's not so dumb.

I don't think so. Taking us back a notch, though. We've got some great ones from the rice cookers here. Talk to me. Samantha said, Are ladybugs called that because they're all ladies? Sam X. Oh, God.

How do they mate? How do they mate? Are they like Godzilla? Asexual? Not asexual. What's she? She can do both. Yeah, she can have sex with herself. Yes, and make eggs. Reproduce herself. What is that called? That's going to kill me.

Shy guy, what's it called when a creature can reproduce with itself? Yeah, snakes can do it sometimes. What is that called? Because they thought Godzilla was a bloke and they found an egg and they went, oh my God, it's a girl. Godzilla. Godzilla. What is that called? Run! It's asexually. That is found an egg and they went, oh my God, it's a girl. God's here. God's here. Jeez, what is that called? Run! It's asexually.

That is A. Is it asexually? Oh, okay. There you go. There you go. Okay. Jeez. Well, that's a great...

Are ladybugs. Are there... Any male ladybugs. Are there manbugs? Oh. Why aren't they called manbugs? Doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Having seen a manbug, you'd be like, ah, that's going to hurt me.

If you're seeing a ladybug, you're like, look at that cute little thing. However, if a bug's life is to be believed, that ladybug was a bloke and he was gruff as all hell. Ladybugs, also known as ladybirds or ladybeetles, are not exclusively female. They have both male and female individuals. There you go. Stronger marketing from the ladybug team than from the bloke bug team when they were deciding on the name.

Hey, we've got Maddie on the line on 131060. Good morning, Maddie. Good morning. Mads, had some dumb thoughts, babe. Mate, I've had so many dumb thoughts, but this one trumps, and I don't have the, I don't know, audacity to tell anyone in my real life. Well, we're in your fake life, babe, so you can tell us.

We're in this fake life. What have we got? If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty? Oh, what a question. Goodness me. Right? Like it's so dumb, but it's so confusing. I suppose then if you're dropping the clean thing on the floor,

surely that part of that floor is going to be clean. Agreed. It's like a sponge. Yeah. You know, when the sponge washes my dirty dish, the dish becomes clean. The sponge, all right, there might be some residue, but I rinse it. Yeah. Those sponges are also dirty.

They're disgusting. Gross. I hate to get a swab in my kitchen. Matty, I think, and I hope it makes you feel better, the floor is clean. Oh, you think the floor is clean? The soap is the superior being. Question for you, Maddie. If you drop your soap on the floor, do you then rinse the soap after having been on that dirty surface?

Because I do. I try and get the first layer off after that. 100%. So then the soap is dirty. Then it makes me feel like it's dirty. Exactly. Yeah, I think it could be dirty. I'll go around the house.

That's a good one. I'm like a hamster. It's wild. It is wild. She's just spinning round and round. Jeez, I think it could be dirty. It's why I go around the car. That's a good one. I'm like a hamster. It's wild. It is wild. That's a good one. She's just spinning round and round. Jeez, that's good. Do you want some free fuel, Maddie?

I would love some free fuel. Yeah, nothing dumb about that. Coming your way. You enjoy that. You fill up your car and you think about yourself. Thank you, Maddie. Oh, my God. I'm never going to be able to drop the soap again.

Such an enjoyable task up until now. You could never go to prison. Never. Oh, jeez. Ducko. Yeah. To round us out. Oh, yeah?

Do you have one? Oh, I've got another rice cooker one. Love to share. Yeah, yeah, that I really wanted to share. This is your last kidless dumb thought. I know. I want to go out on your terms, brother. T-Rexes and kangaroos are built the same way.

How do we know they didn't bounce too? Oh, my God. They have a very similar makeup, don't they? Do they bounce back off that table? Do you know what really boggled my mind? Yeah. All the bones we found of dinosaurs. That just tells us structurally what they would look like.

Yeah. Nothing about colour. Oh, yeah. They could have all been orange. Yeah, true. But we will never know. I've seen Jurassic Park. There weren't.

I base all my dinosaur knowledge off Jurassic Park. And I base all my bug knowledge off a bug's life. Jess and Ducco. A lot of text coming in after No Dumb Thought Friday about our key chat. Yes, I was confused about keys, thinking about the finite number of ways you could cut them, the finite number of ways you could cut out a lock. Surely there's a double up somewhere.

Maybe my key would open Ducko's front door. Who's to say? I'm not saying there's not billions and billions of combos, but I don't think it's a finite number. I agree. Sophia came in and said on the text line, 048881069, there's a thing called the skeleton key and locks every door. Who gets the skeleton key?

Is that really for every single one though? I thought Chief Wiggum had one of those on the Simpsons. I didn't know if it was a real thing. Tony on the text line said, I bet your key comments missed a minute. Only copy keys. They don't actually make them. Now this is the question for Tony. Isn't copying a key, making a key?

It's making a new one, but it's copying your old one. But like, that's making a key. Yeah, yeah, but it's going to have the same intention as your, like, same key. So, Tony, who is chicken or the egg? Who's making the key? Who's making the key? You're telling me, what, the real estate agent? And like, I've just brought Mr. Minute into this.

I'm just, that's the only thing I know about keys. Like, that's my key knowledge. That's as far as it goes. Firstly, Tony, are you a Mr. Minute? That's what I'd like to know. And Tony, who makes the key? Ah, you know who makes the key? The person who made the lock.

They have to work hand in hand. Surely. I would have thought so. Anyway, I'm not getting any smarter out of this conversation. No, but I still want to know if there's multiple key combinations or if there's only like 10 in the world and they just like... I know it's your last day, Ducker. So, Shy Guy, you've got till 9

to get us someone who makes keys. You can buy skeleton keys on Amazon, so I don't... Surely you cannot buy a skeleton key that can unlock your front door. It says skeleton key, $52.13. You can have it by 5pm. Buy it. Put it on Babs' card. Buy it. How do you feel, Ducco? Push him back

for paternity leave because I reckon we need to do a full investigation. This feels, honey, it's important. I think next week... Yesterday, my wife was so impressed I raised Gianni theco. Yeah. Pushing back the paternity leave because I reckon we need to do a full investigation. This feels, honey, it's important. I think next week. Yesterday, my wife was so impressed I raised Gianni the dog. That's coming on the show after seven. You'll hear how I went. Today, honey, I'm going to tell her I can't come on. I can't be in the birth.

I need you here. What do you want me to do, an investigation on my own? I can't do that. You know who I need? Your father. Isn't he in town for the birth? He's in town today. He's in town today.

Will he be hanging around? Yeah, he's here for two weeks. Okay, don't worry about Shy Guy replacing Ducker as our anchor panel and my co-host. That's funny. Chris Allen. It is Chris Allen from the current affair. I need ACA investigative skills.

Keys. To talk about the keys. It was the key that unlocked every door. But did it really? It started as a dumb thought. Yeah, yeah. But it was much smarter than they could have possibly imagined. You'll think twice before unlocking your door.

I'm Chris Allen. We're bringing down. No, we're not bringing down Mr. Minnit. Go kill yourself. Dad, what? They do like a snappy little tagline, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Unlock that. I'm Chris Allen. Alohomora. I'm Chris Allen. He's on Harry Potter gear. Also, I've just got to read this text out because I've been messaging this in for two weeks. Sure. For a no dumb thought.

Does Lightning McQueen have life insurance or car insurance? That's a good question. I mean, he's alive. You've got to use it for Ducko's last day. I did get a good kick out of it. What do you think, Ducko? Life or car? Wow, that's a tough one.

I'm still wrapped up in the keys. Have you even seen cars? Have you seen cars? No, but I know Lightning McQueen. Oh, you know Lightning McQueen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, gotcha, gotcha. I don't think I have seen cars, no.

I think you'd enjoy it. Owen Wilson. Yeah. Oh, wow. He's Lightning McQueen. Wow. Oh, wow. That's good.

Anyway, this is dumb. We've got no further in our investigation. Oh, I know. There was one more. Sorry. Lucy. Yeah. Hey, this is dumb. We've got no further in our investigation. Oh, I know. There was one more. Sorry. Lucy. Yeah. Hey, this is Lucy.

How wild is lightning? See, these are the messages we get. These are our people. Thanks, Lucy. Text anytime. These are our people. Yeah, they're coming. Tony hasn't confirmed whether he's a Mr. A Minute or not, so should I go?

I'd love to wrap it up before. Yeah, I want to know that. Otherwise, he's going to miss the birth of his own kid because he has to come next week. 30 seconds, 10 questions, we'll start with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, 10 questions. We'll start with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, say pass.

We come back to you if there's time. Today our player for $10,000 is Kiana. Good morning, Kiana. Good morning. How are you going? Babe, we couldn't be better. It's Ducko's last show before paternity leave. Oh, bless.

Bless indeed. So we would really, really like to send him off with a bang. Don't let me down. Don't let me down, bless. Bless indeed. So we would really, really like to send him off with a bang. Don't let me down. Don't let me down, Keyes. No, you know what it is. Sorry, Keyes, is this the first time you're hearing about it? Yeah. I feel like we've

rammed it down people's throats for like a while now. Just goes to show you feel like you're harping on about something and there's legends like Kiana who've missed that. I know, so it's like you're harping on about something and there's legends like Kiana. Who've missed that? I know, so it's like you're getting to tell someone for the first time all over again. It's exciting. K, what's motivating you today?

Besides, obviously, now learning. It'll be a great day for Ducko if you can win 10 grand. We can celebrate together. Yes. Actually, my brother-in-law's 50th is coming up in Queensland and, yeah, I'm hoping to surprise my missus in being able to take her to see a sister that she hasn't seen in a very long time. Oh, that's awesome.

Get you to Queensland. Let's get the gals. I can get around that. Gals to Queensland. Absolutely. What are we talking, Kayla? Noosa, Port Douglas, Cairns. Oh, just like 20 minutes outside of Brisbane.

Brisbane. I love it. Like Ipswich. We're pretty chill people. I love it. I love it. 10 grand. 10 grand will go a long way, absolutely. The letter you're going to work with today, Kee, it's J. J for Jess. Okay.

It's going to start after the first question. You ready? Yep. Starting with the letter J, we need you to name. A lolly. Jaffa. An animal. Jaguar.

A musical. Path. A body part. Path. An adverb. Jousting. A comedy film. Oh, pass.

A car brand. Jack. A girl's name. Jackpot. Jessica. A celebrity. Jessica, like the Veronica's. A tree.

Jessica from the Veronica's? Mate, I love that. One of them's called Jess, I guess. I'll give it to you for five. I think you needed a last name, but that's a move point. What is their last name? It's not Veronica's, is it? I can't remember.

Or Euclidio or something. Yes, yes. I'll pay it just for the reference. Let's go through. A musical. Could have been Jersey Boys or Jesus Christ Superstar. A body part. A jaw. An adverb. Anything with L-Y, joyfully, jokingly,

a comedy film, Jack and Jill, Joe Dirt Jackass. That was hard too. They are subjective. Yeah, yeah. That's very true. And then a tree could have been Jack around and he's run out of time. Look, we don't get the money today, Kiana, but you don't go empty handed. $100 to spend at a hair house coming your way.

Ew. Brilliant. Thank you for joining the show, K. Thank you. Enjoy your paternity stuff. Hey, thank you. Good to chat. Thanks, legend.

I was probably the most proud of my wife that I've ever been yesterday. Like, truly in our relationship. I was like... God, you've been together over a decade. Yeah, like 13 years. I don't remember a time where I was this proud of her. And this is on the cusp of her pushing out your first kid. So, wow that you've already raised the bar again before she does the ultimate act.

Because she's about to pop. 39 weeks pregnant. Coming on 40. And we know we're going in for the induction this weekend. And she goes... She's still, like like trying to go to the gym every day. And I'm like, are you sure you want to come to the gym? She goes, yeah, I want to go to the gym. I go, okay.

And she always says to me, she's like, just take it easy, right? And I'm always like, you know I can't. And to her, I go, just make sure you take it easy. She goes, yeah, yeah. She's in the gym doing deadlifts yesterday. Are you serious? Deadlifting like 40 kilos too. Like she's not doing nothing. Is it that hormonal

surge? Like how does she have the energy? I don't know. But this is where I got really proud because I saw her doing that. And then we had this like little circuit thing to finish in the gym session, in the class right? And then I look over and she's like on her horn, she's like puffing. And I'm like, are you okay? Is everything okay? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just push myself. And I was like, remember to go easy. She's like, I can't go easy. Instantly, like instantly I had full wood. Like I was just

like, wow. That's my girl. I could not believe it when she said that. And we got, cause then she was tired for the rest of the day. Like she was absolutely cooked. She cooked herself and I was like, honey, maybe you shouldn't do that. And she's like, but I couldn't help it. I got in there and I could not go easy.

And I wanted, I was just like, I've never been more proud of you, but also concerned. That's very fair. I've never felt what she felt in that moment. Incredible moment. I know. And I wonder if there's some psychological thing in her going, I'm about to have the biggest physical challenge of my life. Yeah. So I'm going to push myself biggest physical challenge of my life. Yeah.

So I'm going to push myself. I'm not going to go easy on myself. Or is it like, I'm not going to be able to go to the gym for a while. Could be also. So I'm going to like tick that box while I can. Could be also. A lot of factors at play. A lot of factors at play.

Wow. It was incredible. I was like. I'm so, because you know, sometimes you get worried, oh, when you've been together so long, do you lose the passion? Do you lose the romance? You get caught up in the humdrum of life. Not you and Morgan.

Well, no, I didn't say anything about passion and romance. She was deadlifting. We weren't having sex. No, but as in, like, she's not just resting on her laurels, you know? Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You keep surprising each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And turning each other off.

I was like, you can take some of that motivation to the boudoir. That'd be nice. I tried to make that leap, but all right, you've really... Jess and Ducko. You had dogs on the mind yesterday. You brought us a story, some new research, some new surveys done. One in 50 men reckon they can beat a horse in a foot race. Yeah, which is ridiculous.

Ridiculous. Even though we did have Glenn call up and say, my mind, AJ. But he couldn't have any proof and didn't know when it was. We're still waiting for that vision, mom, I had AJ. But he couldn't have any proof and didn't know when it was. There's no way. So wait for that vision, Glenn slash AJ. Yeah. But further to that, some more questions were asked of this group of men surveyed. There were things like I could beat a croc.

I could beat an emu. I could beat a chimpanzee in an arm wrestle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the stats we wanted to drill down on, 61% of men surveyed reckon they could beat a domesticated dog in a running race. Yeah. Over 30 metres. You put the caveat out there.

Your dog, that is an endurance runner. Yeah, yeah. Pam. No way I could beat Pam. Bull Arab, cross Doberman, rescue. She's quick. She's fast. She's lean.

But I said your dog, your 50 kilo Rhodesian Ridgeback, I reckon I could get him. Because you know him as the overfed lump. Yeah, yeah. To be fair to Johnny, he's lost some weight. He has. I could get him. Because you know him as the overfed lump. To be fair to Gianni, he's lost some weight. I reckon a year or two years ago, definitely. You put the challenge out there. I said I want to race him.

So after the show, you went home, put some little shorts on. Yeah, put some shorts on. I went home. Got a bag of chicken. Got a bag of chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we met at the park. Met Gianni at the park. Where the two challengers faced off.

You're going down, big boy. You're going down. Gianni, square up. Square up. Square up. Square up. He's trying to get in my head. He was very excited to see Uncle Ducko.

Yeah, and the chicken. We've tried to train him not to jump, but he was excited to see. He was very excited, yeah, yeah. So he was jumping up on you. Yeah, it was a big day. It was a big afternoon. And you know what? I was stretching because I don't remember the last time, as a grown man, I went full

sprint as hard as I can. So I was like, I don't want to do a hamstring here. Some of our favorite radio hosts in New Zealand, they say, going at full chickens, which I really like. Open up to full chickens. You don't remember the last time you went full chickens? No, I have not gone full chicken in so long. So I was stretching the calves, the hammies, I was doing warm-ups.

And you are days away from welcoming a newborn. So we didn't want to cripple you. You paced out the 30 metres. Gianni's sitting patiently waiting. He's like, where am I getting this chicken? Where am I getting this chicken? Babs and Shy Guy had various points along the track. So we'll say this race was over 30 metres.

Now, we just made that decision. I think I just gave 30. It was either 30 or 50. We're never doing 100. No, no, I don't think, I don't know if Gianni could have done that. Having said that, I was nervous about the young man's performance. I've seen him open up at the dog park, but it's more play, chasing dogs. Yeah.

I didn't even know if he'd sit at the fricking start line. I just didn't know how this was going to go. He sat at the start line. You sat there with Chicken 30 metres away. He sat next to me. Bit of confusion at the start line because you then tell me right before we're about to go, it's not going to be ready, set, go. It's going to be here.

To be fair, you asked, is it ready, set, go? I agreed and then thought, Mike Gianni doesn't know go. He barely knows stay. And he did stay for a while. I've never seen him behave that well. He was just like such a good boy. But the command for him you will hear. We've got the audio. We've ripped from the video. You will hear the

command. Wait Gianni. Wait. This is how it played out. Here! Here! Here Gianni! Here! Here! Good! Here, here, Gianni, here. Good boy, Gianni. He had me from the get-go.

Good boy, Gianni. He was quick off the start. You didn't think he had it in him? I reckon 10 more metres, I had him. He's a party only baby. It was that classic thing. What have I always said? Year 9 PE mystery.

Don't slow up. When you see the finish line, you've got to cross it full power. He got me. He certainly slowed up, whether because he was gassed or not. But you're right. If there was a couple more metres. I think because he was quick off the get-go. Now, we've got a video.

We're going to post it. Yes, absolutely. I'm just about to hit play. On Jess and Ducko. Watch the video because from the get-go. Now we've got a video. We're going to post it. Yes, absolutely. I'm just about to hit play. On Jess and Ducko. Watch the video because from the get-go, I thought, okay, I'll have him from the start. You thought if I could get a jump on him. Yeah, I thought he'd be slow off the mark and then he'd build. It was the other way around. He was way quicker

off the mark. Because there's a lot of body for him to move. Yeah, yeah. And then when he was up and running, I feel like because it was over 30, genuinely if you look at, he's beating me by maybe you know, five, four meters and because it was over 30, genuinely, if you look at, he's beating me by maybe, you know, five, four metres, and then it cuts that back to like one at the end. He slowed up. He saw that chook and he went, I'm going to hold up here.

Anyway. I feel like if there was five metres more in that race. You know what? You can say whatever you want, Batman. Does this mean I can never call him fat again? You don't understand. All evening, Ducker. All evening.

Yeah, you've been... Champion dog. Champion dog. You should have seen the dinner. I made a mistake. I got home and Pam practically just gave me the stink eye. She's like, you lost, Daddy. She could smell it on you.

She hated me. You lost, you weak. So... Yeah, I lost. I think we need to rejig that 61% of men think they could beat a dog because... Check the video now on Jess and Ducko. Credit where credit's due. Full credit to Gianni.

Good, that's nice sportsmanship from you, Ducko. Jess and Ducko. One, two, three, three, three. Jess and Ducko's. What's the threesome? What? Mate, wait till the pen's over. Come on.

I really forgot that point. Shia's having a weird day today. He's on. He is. Anyway, what's the threesome? I'm going to give you three things. You want to tell me what they all have in common. All three things have in common.

Okay, so what are the rules of engagement here? You say it, then the first one to answer it. Yeah, the first one gets the point. We don't, non-name is buzzer. Nah, I can distinguish between each of you five. Okay, so it's Babs, Jess and myself. Yes. Okay.

All right, so first one. Thor, Iron Man, Captain America. Marvel characters. Marvel characters. Oh, Marvel characters. But isn't it funny? I technically wasn't wrong. I mean, you're not wrong, but that's not what I have on the board.

Okay, I see. So, Babs. Okay. Next one. Oh, we've got to speak shy guy and easy. This is going to be hard. All right. Adele, Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith.

British singers. Yes, Jess. Oh, jeez. That's hard. Adele, Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith. British singers. Yes, Jen. Oh, jeez. That's hard. Okay. Bob, Kevin and Stuart. Minions. Yes, perhaps.

I've never seen the Minions. I just... Wow. Okay, all right, all right. Do we get how the game works? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Paris, Rome, Berlin.

Capital cities in Europe. Yes. Yes. I'm here. I am here. Paris, Dublin. Your mic on, Ducker. Yeah, I'm definitely here.

All right. We've got a little bit. Just keep playing the game. It's in front of you. I'm trying to make it easy for Ducker. Just keep playing noise. He doesn't need a handout. All right, all right, all right.

Here we go. Hogwarts, Break Bills, Camp Half-Blood. Schools? Oh, books, novels. Kids' books. Keep going. Magical schools? Magical schools.

Oh, damn. Three to Jess, two to Babs, none to Ducker. Coming. Here I come. Here comes the steam train. Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael. Painters. Paintings.

Paintings by Lino da Vinci. Ninja Turtles. Oh, man. You've got to speak shy guy and ease guy. Again, you're not wrong. It is not what I wanted. The Ninja Turtles. Did you have a dream about them the other day?

Oh, wow. That is wild. This one's for you, Duck. Okay. Come on, Duck. Come on, Duckman. Golfers. You're a smart leech.

Banana, strawberry, blueberry. Things from Queensland. Oh, fruit. Flavors of? Banana, strawberry. Protein flavors. Banana, strawberry. Vape flavors.

What did you say? Banana, strawberry, and flavours. Banana, strawberry. Vaping flavours. What did you say? Banana, strawberry and blueberry. Things you would add to oats. No, that's not what I asked. Things to add to breakfast cereal. We're getting there. Toppings. We're getting there.

Ice cream flavours. What do you put them in? A bowl? A ninja creamy. Well, no. Bowl? Yeah, what do you put them in? Breakfast?

You could blend them up to make ice cream. A smoothie. Smoothie. Smoothie. Oh, my goodness. Well, no. Bowl? Yeah, what do you put them in? Breakfast? You could blend them up to make ice cream. Smoothie, smoothie. Smoothie. Oh, my goodness. Smoothie fruits. We all got there together, team. All right, here we go. When's the last time you had a freaking smoothie?

Smoothie fruits, okay. Fire, water, earth. Elements. Elements. What did you say? I said earth. I was going for the other element. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Wizard. That would be a foursome job. Oh the other element. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Wizard. That would be a foursome, Duc. Oh, of course. Wizard, elf, and an orc. Mythical creatures. Yes.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes, Ducco. We'll just keep playing for another minute. Why not? Monopoly, Scrabble, and Pluto. Board games. Board games, yes.

She's quick. Jess on six. Ducco on two. Oh, no. My menages. Yeah, yeah. You know your threesomes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coke, Pepsi, Dicaphone. It's not free. six. Ducca on two. Babs on three. Oh, no, my menages. Yeah, yeah. You know your threesomes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Coke, Pepsi, Dicetop. Soft drinks. Yes, Ducca. See you, Babs. Babs is out. Babs is out. Oh, no. I can't.

This next one's worth five. Sure. Golden snitch. Toothpaste, soap, shampoo. Cleaning products. Shower things. Yes. Shower things? Toothpaste is a shower thing? You've got to speak, Shai. Yeah, products. Shower things. Yes. Shower things?

Toothpaste is a shower thing? You've got to speak Chinese. Yeah, it's in there. Players. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. So, obviously, Mum and Dad arriving in this morning, ahead of baby's birth and yada, yada.

Morgan's parents get here tomorrow. It's all starting to kick off, you know. I called my mum yesterday to check their flight time for when we need to get them. And this is the conversation. She picks up the phone. Like, classic, classic, should not have picked up in the situation she was in, but she did. She picks up and she's like, oh, oh, hi there. Hi, sweetie.

How are you? Sorry, hold on two seconds. Yeah, no, can you just take it up a bit more? There, there's good. Yeah, roll one more. That's nice. Thank you so much. How are you? Sorry, hold on two seconds. Yeah, no, can you just take it up a bit more? There. There's good. Roll one more. That's nice. Thank you so much.

How are you going, honey? So she's in an appointment. Yeah, she's in someone. Talking to someone else and then talking to me and making it very clear to the person she's talking to that she's talking to me. And she's like, and how's Morgan? And when's the baby? Oh, hold on. Sorry, hold on, sweetie.

Yeah, no, that's nice there. And just, I don't like that one. I like this one. And I go, mom, what are you, like, why'd you pick up? What are you doing? She's like, so sorry. I'm just, I'm just in a tailor getting my outfit taken up that I'm going to wear when I meet your baby. It's a bit too modest.

I want the hem brought up. I was like, you were getting a fitted outfit. I want your daughter to see more calf from grandma. Oh my God. I was like, mom were getting a fitted outfit for a child. I want your daughter to see more calf from grandma. Oh, my God. I was like, Mum, what are you doing? And also, get off the phone. Speak to your poor tailor, whoever's doing this. Firstly, anything ruder than taking a call when you're in an interaction with someone.

It was the most alpha. I'm on the phone, and she was obviously telling them that my son and his wife were about to have a baby, my daughter-in-law. This is the son. Oh, he was calling me right now. Hello. Oh, better take this in case there's been movement. She knows there hadn't been. Do you know if this is a brand new outfit?

It's a new outfit. It's a whole new outfit. So what she's done is she's gone and purchased a brand new matching set and then realised that she doesn't like how baggy it is. So then she's gone to get it taken in. So, and I quote, she looks good for the first photo. You only get one shot at a first impression, Ducco. I know.

Oh, this is a woman who already has four grandbabies, your older sister, obviously. I don't know if she did it for the other ones. I feel like this one, this is a new thing for her. This is new. Yeah, she's so excited. Oh, I love it. Getting a matching set taken up. Your dad's a bit of a fashionista himself, is he?

He's got a new knit that he's going to be wearing. The family's going to be looking suave. I was like, what do you guys think you're coming to? Like, you're not coming to a fashion show. This is fantastic. Oh, it's going to be a tough couple of days. Oh, and is she going with Grandma? What are we calling her? Has she chosen a name? She's Grammy. She's Grammy. Yeah, which is also

the name. I don't like it because it's also the name of Morgan's grandma. There's already a Grammy in your family. I associate it with Morgan's grandma. She doesn't know Morgan's grandma and she goes by Grammy, so it's a wig out. Yeah. It's a bit weird. But I guess if she's Grammy to, as I said, your nieces and nephews, she's not going to

have a different name. No, she can't change it. She can't flip it. Oh. Yeah. And I know it's always a lovely conversation with your parents. It's mainly your mum when they just want to make up a whole new word for themselves. You know what she wanted to be?

Swear to God. Swear to God. Because this is what Michelle Obama was. She wanted to be toot, tooty. Because it means something in Hawaiian or something like that. And she was like, mum. Out of all the role models to have, I love she's chosen Michelle Obama. She read half of her book once.

And she's like, have you guys read Michelle Obama's book? It's like, A, no. And B, you haven't. Well, don't tell her that you don't love Grammy because she'll go, well, the next best option is... She wants to be Tootie. Like, Mum, it sounds like you're farting. Like, we can't call you Tootie.

I love Tootie. I think I'll be calling her Tootie for now. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10KK Alpha Bucks on hit. Alpha Bucks. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice.

If you're unsure of the question, say pass. We come back. If you have time, of course, we're playing for $10,000. Our player today, we've got Christy. Hello, Christy. Hello, guys. How are you? Christy, we couldn't be better.

How do you feel? You're the last player to play with Ducco kidless. I am very excited, but I'm very nervous because O is not exactly a great letter. You knew it. Were you listening early, Christy? I was. I was on my way to the gym, and I jumped in the car on my way home, and I was like, oh, yes, I made it.

Okay. Well, that's a great omen for Christy having heard it, got her workout in and now she should have that oxytocin rolling around. She'll have that oxygen in her lungs to be prepared.

She will. She's not singing opera. She's got to play Alphabark. No singing required. Christy, what do you want to spend $10,000 on? I'd like to take my two little girls on maybe like a little shopping spree. I've got two daughters that are four and seven. Oh, wonderful. Okay.

That's a nice little girl's day out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little girl's day out. Love that. All right, Christy, let's waste no more time. Your time will start after the first question. You ready? Yep.

Let's do it. Here we go. Good luck. Starting with the letter O, we need you to name. And appliance. Path. A TV show. Path.

A food. Orange. A brand. Oracle. An animal. Orangutan. A brand. Oracle. An animal. Orangutan. A clothing item. Um...

Class. A shape. Octagon. A band. One direction. A condiment. Path. An actor.

Orlando Bloom. An appliance. Oh, bugger! Damn, you could see the ones she'd practiced, because she obviously knew the letter earlier. An actor. Orlando Bloom. An appliance. Oh, bugger. Damn, you could see the ones she'd practiced because she obviously knew the letter earlier. Yes. Orlando Bloom, bang, straight out of the gates. Look, you got yourself six.

Oh, that's okay. Six are the best. An appliance, oven, or the old oil heater. A TV show, there's a few. Orange is the new black one. Tree Hill, Outlander. A clothing item could have been overalls or an overcoat, which is what Shy Guy wears into the studios in winter.

Yes, thanks, guys. He rolls in in an OE's dark overcoat. Look, overalls there, and then a condiment, olive oil. Everything else you got, you answered correct. $100 coming your way, though, to Spend It Hair House. Perfect. Thank you, guys. And good luck, Ducko.

Thanks, Christy. Thanks for playing. Thanks for joining the show. Oh, jeez. I was really, I thought that was it. I thought Christy was the one. I know. I felt it in my waters.

Had an hour and a bit. Oh, close to two hours. Yeah. That's all right. We are going to keep playing next week, even though Ducco's on paternity leave. Shy Guy will be doing a lot of the heavy lifting. He'll be doing the scoring. The scoring and the rules.

You're score guy next week. Yep. No more Shy Guy. be doing a lot of the heavy lifting. He'll be doing the scoring. The scoring and the rules. Your score guy next week. No more Shy Guy. Rules guy. Rules guy. Oh, that feels good. Fits his wheelhouse, don't you reckon? We'll be right. We'll be right. The more you say it, the less reassuring it sounds. I've never done this stuff

before, so this is new to me. Breakfast radio anchoring. And having energy. Like, I'm always here, but I'm not there, you know? Heavy is the crown, mate. I know. Jess and Daco. What do you find sexy that you shouldn't? This is because there's a new boyfriend for the internet, and it's in the form and the

shape of 53-year-old Walton Gargan's. Walton Gargan's gargle glasses. Is that the actor or the character? That's the actor. He plays Rick in The New White Lotus. Obviously, I got the OG theme because season three theme's not as slappy. I haven't seen season three, but I've seen a lot of commentary

that the theme song. It's actually a good theme song, but just not as good as this. Not as good. Can you make the theme song sound? Shall I have a go? It's great. Who's Walton Goggins? Walton Goggins.

He's a famous actor. You know Walton Goggins. He's been in plenty of things. Of course, The Shield. The reason we're asking this. Oh, Django. He's in Django Unchained. He is.

Yeah. I want to go dancing in the moonlight with you, boy. Oh, and that biopic about me, Fat Man. It's good. I could have gone two ways there. Yeah, you could have. The biopic about my dog, Fat Man. But he beat me in a race.

He's not fat anymore. So now I can't even make fun of him, so I'm making a fat face. We're talking Walton Goggins because obviously, yes, White Light has just wrapped up. He's everywhere right now, but the people are finding him sexy and attractive and saying that he's the most handsome man possible who shouldn't be because in the show he's got a lot of charisma and stuff. He just basically wears really cool and loud button-up,

short-sleeved Hawaiian shirts, but he has one of the great receding hairlines. He's got a five-head, Ducker. He's 53 years old, and he's great receding hairlines. He's got a five head, Ducker. He's 53 years old and he's making receding hairlines look sexy. So everyone who's gone to Turkey is like, damn, I just wasted my money. Because he is making receding hairlines sexy. People are coming out now saying, I'm finding a receding hairline hot. And it's kind of like, you know, rat hot or something like that.

Receding hairlines. It's the dad bod effect, isn't it? Yep. It is. It's exactly that. It's so funny. The internet can claim something is desirable, hot, amazing, sexy, and the rest of us will go, yeah, it is.

Yeah. Which I love because let's finally break the stigma of like the 90s and early 2000s where there was one ideal body for both men and women. I just never thought I'd see the day receding hairline. I know. 85% of men experience hair loss. And like receding hairlines would be, you know, it'd be a tough carry. You only see the men who areeding hairline. I know. 85% of men experience hair loss. And receding hairlines would be a tough carry. You only see the men who are holding on to their hair.

The scraps. Because you've got your Vin Diesels and your Jason Stathams who have made bald, egghead hot. Yep. But receding was always in between there where it was just giving, yeah, you're cleaning. You're trying. You're trying. And Walton Goggins is similar.

He's trying. There's not a lot of hair. He's balding from the back back but receding from the front. And people are like, man, he's hot. He just looks like a villain, doesn't he? He's got that energy, man. Is he a bad dude in White Lotus? He's troubled.

He's troubled. Oh, he's troubled. Oh, see, we love a bad boy with demons, don't we? So 13, 10, 60. What do you find sexy that you shouldn't? Yeah. For me, Ducker. Here we go.

Here we go. Just a solid meat pie. Big pasta. For me, and this isn't as risque as I think you want it to be, but yesterday, you know, it was my four-year wedding anniversary. Yes. Angus came home for lunch. So, yes, there was a bowl of pasta that he'd pre-done in the morning, so it was just nice

and was ready to go. Came home for 15 minutes for a quick game of Bananagrams. Hot, man. I saw that on your Instagram and I went, that's when you know you passed it, eh? That is when you know. No, no. That's when you know you play the player, not the game, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's hot for me. That got you going. That got you hot under the cold. And wasn't he rewarded? So that's hot for me. He was rewarded, all right. What about you, you sick freak? This might surprise no one, and it's a bit niche.

I really find a toned quad. I like a quad. No, you can't say that because you often talk about your dog's quads. I don't want to hear that. Don't bring that into it. I like chiseling her quads because I can make them, but a toned quad on a lady. You feel like a sculptor. Or, yeah, yeah, I like aiselling her quads because I can make them, but a toned quad on a lady. You feel like a sculptor.

Or, yeah, yeah, I like a toned quad. So of all the sensual body parts. My eyes get drawn to quads before they get drawn to, like, other things. People go, oh, the eyes, the smile, or even the bosom. I love quads. It's weird, I know. It's a strange thing. Morgan does have good legs, doesn't she?

She's got a defined quad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No wonder you were getting turned on when she was deadlifting yesterday. You see, the inner workings of me. Shaga, what have you got? I like a really uniquely spelt name. Like a common name, but with like a weird twist. Oh, that is very divisive.

Yeah. So you like a Sarah with a Y. Sure. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't make any way. Chucking a Z or a Y in there. Yeah, or an X in there. Yeah.

Three E's. Oh, my God. Yeah, still common, but spelt different. I like that. Oh, that, yeah. It hurts parents. Chucking a Z or a Y in there. Yeah, or an X in there. Three E's. Oh, my God. It's not common, but spelled different. I like that. Oh, that is great because it's also something you wouldn't find out upon first meeting. That's right. Potentially. Oh, Babs.

Babs is on the phone. The horniest of us all. The craziest. Babs, what do you find attractive that you shouldn't? Jethro Mose-Lawn. It's nice to look at. Oh, okay. I think that's kind of like. I think that's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Can you shouldn't? Jethro Mose-Lawn. It's nice to look at. Oh, okay. I think that's kind of like...

I think that's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Can you do any... Of course you would say that. Yeah, yeah. Can you do anything else a bit more outside the box? Well, I think Walton is attractive.

So you like... Is it the receding hairline or just the... I think it's his like... He's got like some sort... It's his attitude and the way that he acts Yeah, the charisma.

He's got big horse teeth. He's huge teeth. When he grins or just opens his mouth, I feel like I can see he acts that way. Yeah, the charisma. He's got big horse teeth. He's huge teeth. When he grins or just opens his mouth, I feel like I can see his back molars. Yeah, yeah. That's not common. Yeah. I like that.

I like that. I mean, to be fair, he doesn't really smile in White Lotus. He doesn't smile a lot. I feel like if Babs had a whole apple on the palm of her hand, he would eat it. He would be like a horse. He would eat that whole thing. He would.

He really would. A bit of molasses. He's gone. A salt lick. Anyway, it begs the question, where are we? We know that. We've got our own thing. Safe space.

Safe space. We've shared. Now you share. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What do you find sexy that you shouldn't? Walton Gargans, who plays Rick in The White Lotus Season 3. One of the great shows.

You know I loved it, no secret. I know you and Babs really had some bonding over this season. Babs cried for... Shy Guy and I out of the loop. Babs cried for hours after the last episode. Yes. It was, you know, it's one of those. But people aren't talking about the finale.

No. People aren't talking about whatever Babs, whatever made Babs cry. No. People are talking about one receding... Tuesdays at 3 o'clock make Babs cry, so it's not a lot. It's not a lot to tip her over the edge. But people are talking about a receding hairline suddenly being the sexiest thing they've ever seen.

Walton Goggins' receding hairline plays Rick in the show, and now people are calling him hot. Babs even finds him attractive. And even I'll look at him, I go, hey, that guy's cool. And yes, Babs landed on there's a whole attitude and vibe and energy coming off this actor. But now we're associating that with that receding hairline. It's doing things for me.

It's getting me going. So to anyone worried about that, don't be. Because for the next two months, receding hairlines will be hot. Remember when Short Kings had a moment? Yeah, remember when Rat Hot had a moment? That was the best spring of my life. Absolutely. Brad Pitt's out there going,

my days are over just being classically handsome. Get in the bin, Brad. Zayda on 131060, what do you find sexy that you shouldn't? I find a big nose sexy. Ooh! What is it about a schnoz

that does it for you, Zayda? I feel like a small dainty nose just doesn't do it for me. Okay. I feel like it shows a bit of masculinity, you know? You're like a big schnozzer. Do you think what they say about, well, at least gentlemen with big noses is true, Zayda?

Oh, definitely. Massive nostrils. Okay. A big nose is a funny one. That is. But again, I love this. Adding it to the list of those stereotypical beauty standards out the window in 2025.

Roger has called in. Good morning, Roger. Good morning. How are you? So good. Rog, what do you find sexy that maybe you shouldn't? Oh, roofers. The trade of roofing.

Are you yourself a roofer? Yeah. When you meet a potential partner, you're chatting for a bit, do you see their eyes light up when you say, oh, I'm a roofer? You should see me boss. He's a good-looking bloke too. I think Roger's angling for the afternoon off. Do you get your lid off when you're roofing, Roger?

Does the shirt come off? Oh, every day. Yeah, I bet. I hope you're putting sunscreen on, though. You should see my feet. He's dropping out now. He's dropping out. Nobody's seen him at his feet.

I'm sure he's got great feet. Roger's in the car with his boss trying to get a promotion. Do you know what I actually do find hot? Speaking of taking your lid off when you're working on, like, a roof. Yeah. Sun safety. When Angus applies sunscreen without me having to nag him, I genuinely am like, yes, stave off melanoma.

That's hot. Yeah. Wear a wide brim hat. Yeah, put that zinc on your nose. Be a good role model for the children. Oh, you, stave off melanoma. That's hot. Wear a wide brim hat. Put that zinc on your nose. Be a good role model for the children. Put that rashie on. Look how you wear that rashie. I can see those boobies from here.

That's why he's very conscious about his protruding nipples. He's got protruding. Yours are inverted. What is happening in that household? There's no way. If only he could have had the nipples to breastfeed, Lucia, it would have been okay. I wouldn't have had to need so many plunges to pop those things.

He wouldn't have needed a shield. No, he wouldn't have. Katie. Katie. Sorry, Katie. Hi, Katie. What do you find sexy? What do you find sexy?

Look, mine's a bit bogan-ish, so mine would have to be when my partner is outside mowing the lawn in his short, short footy shorts, wearing his I'm not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks shirt, Bunnings hat and just mowing the lawn, and then he'll get a quick glimpse of me in the lawn and then he'll get a quick glimpse of me in the, like, outdoor and then he'll do a lunge. So those calves, they just, like, absolutely in those footy shorts and just the big giant shirt. Katie, and he's putting on a show for you through the glass.

I'm not, Katie, but 25 to 25. But then my son goes out in his footy shot and tries to do the same thing. Oh, no. And that just changes the time. Oh, it does. He's got his little toy mower and it's like, no, this is too old for me. Dad's like kicking Santa away. No, Daddy's trying to score something.

Go away. Daddy's trying to work Mummy up for later on. He's like, Daddy, what's your shirt mean? Never mind. You go mow that patch over there. You'll learn. You'll learn. Inflation. Adam. Of course it patch over there. You'll learn. You'll learn. Inflation.

Adam. Of course it lives, man. Adam, hello. Hey, how are you? Could be better, Adam. It's Ducko's last kidless phone topic, so let's make it a good one. What do you find sexy that you shouldn't? Well, I just want to clarify that I don't have a foot fetish,

but if someone has, like a chick has white nail polish on her toes, it's game over. Interesting. Just white nail polish. Just white. Not pink. Just white. I'll suck the skin off them.

Another toe sucker. Welcome to the list. Jess and Ducko. You might have seen Jess yesterday. Australia's very own Gout Gout. Did I see it? Breaking 10 seconds of the 100-meter sprint, wind assisted, so officially it doesn't count, but still very fast time. Sorry, how old is young Gout Gout?

He's like 16. Mate, I think he's 17. 17? But still, like, what? They genuinely reckon he as a sprinter could actually beat Usain Bolt at some stage. Like, genuinely. As an Australian, we could have a 100-meter sprint champion. Taco, pardon my ignorance.

Just circling back. What did you say about wind assistance? So he had a tail breeze within wind assistance. So I believe they don't deem that breaking 10 seconds as actually accurate. As in literally it was windy that day and blowing with. Yeah, blowing with him. So it was two. So don't put it to like the overall times.

So you're telling me come what's next, LA Olympics, you're telling me if it's a windy day, nothing will count? I believe it doesn't count towards the world record if there's a set amount of wind. But in the big stadiums. Oh, I guess they can close a roof or whatever. Whereas this is like a classic track and field stadium. You see at your local sort of park or little athletics track where there's a wind stream behind them. That's why you don't want to lie behind racing tracks.

Thanks, mate. I was leading up to the joke. I was laying a lot of pot. I wasn't the one who lost to a dog yesterday. That's what I wanted to get to. I thought I was kind of like Gout Gout, but really your dog was. If you want to go on Jess and Ducko's Insta right now. What we're saying is, Shy Guy, I'm going to need Gout Gout to come around and race my dog.

Because right now I think my dog is just super creature. He beat me in a 30-meter sprint. Beat you in a 30-meter sprint. And we've put it up. It's on Instagram. You can check it out now. An amazing athlete, Gianni. Also Gout Gout.

Can Gout Gout beat your dog? Let's line them up. Let's do it. Let's line them up. We'll do it. Let's line them up. We'll have the same parameters. Yep. Gianni gets the most shook at the end. 30 metres at our local park.

But no, that's very cool. So cool. Keep me up to date. And I really am curious about what other things wind has ruined. Hey, there you go. That's your final for Monday, guys. What's wind ruined? That's right.

If you want to make a fart joke. But also, like, you know, maybe it's throwing your tarp away at the beach. Have you seen the brollies at the beach that go flying? Have you seen a cool cabana get lifted by the breeze? See you later. If you have not pegged that thing, what have we learnt on this show? You've got to peg it down! Yeah.

Anyway. Wind, man. But, yeah, go see the video of Ducko so embarrassingly losing to a dog in a foot race. Yeah, whatever. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I'm not about to go on paternity leave. Yeah.

Well, kind of. You sort of are getting a good run of this as well. You've been so generous sharing that leave across the whole team. Yeah. Actually, yeah, you are all welcome. It'll only be Shy Guy Babs and I for four days next week because obviously it's Easter. And then there's the holiday period.

Then we have a two-week break and then I come back and, you know, we get to swap stories, swap war stories. Absolutely. You guys will all come back so rested and I'll come back and, you know, we get to swap stories, swap war stories. Absolutely. You guys will all come back so rested and I'll come back so wounded. I know. It's like that time when we had a holiday middle last year, I had to get my son to surgery and I was just two weeks on, two weeks of stints up my nose on the couch. I came back just baffled.

Is that when I went to New Zealand? Yep. Yeah, you went to New Zealand. I thought you were a goody bag. No, you guys all did, but geez, that was a long two weeks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But this, I keep telling everyone like, yeahez, that was a long two weeks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I keep telling everyone, like, yeah, I'm about to go on holidays.

I'm like, no, it's not a holiday. It's actually going to be really difficult. This is the real work, brother. Yeah, this is where the journey begins. Anyway. What are we doing? Oh, Shark Eyes Diary. That's right.

Last, you know, kidless week on air. So let's take a look back at the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko. We started with half of the team struck down with injuries. I've got a back spasm. I'm rolled in, covered in DP. As youthful as you project, that body is a 33-year-old body. She's a bit sore.

She's a bit sore. I've got rib cartilage issues. That's not good a week out from DJ. I know. No, no, no, no. I was, like, crumpling in the bathroom this morning. Yeah. I might have to go see the car.

And Sharka, you've come in. You're under the weather today, mate. Yeah, my legs are sore from last week. Oh, no. That was my first question. What have you done, Darl? What's wrong? What did you say?

The gym. Leg day. No, no. Not specifically calf raises. I think it was the calf raises. I did more than my own body weight. Sharka's got sore calves today. You know we love a Macca's run on this show,

but I'm not too sure we'd do very well if we worked under the Golden Arches. Shago's the store manager. I feel like he should be on the grill because he's meticulous. What do you see yourself doing? Nothing. Cleaning the toilet. Okay.

I'm doing rosters all day. Yeah, I can see you doing rosters as well. I see you on the drive-thru, Ducko. I'd be a drive-thru guy. I feel like you'd be driving. Welcome to McDonald's. What can I get for you? Hold there for me, sir.

The danger of putting me anywhere. Was that too big, Max? The danger of fatty? We'd roster you in the playground on playground duty, even though that doesn't exist. We'd be like, Jess, you're on playground duty. I'll be the lifeguard or whatever. You're the lifeguard of the Ronald McDonald playground.

That feels good to me. And Babs is front counter. She gives huge front counter energy. She's the most pleasant demeanour. Yell the face of it. She of the Ronald McDonald playground. That feels good to me. And Babs is front counter. She gives huge front counter energy. She's the most pleasant demeanour. Yell the face of it. She takes the calls every day. And she's good at multitasking, you know? She'd be calling out the numbers for the orders to be collected.

Oh, that could be my job. Number 69. Oh, 64. And then you just fill up the shake or something like that. Yeah, I love that. I'll be the one trying to fix the McFlurry machine. Oh, and everyone's angry at you. Of all the technical people in the team, it's me. We'll come to you. Yeah, we'll definitely come to you. I'm calling Angus. Can you come fix the McFlurry machine. Oh, and everyone's angry at you. Of all the technical people in the team, it's me.

We'll come to you. Yeah, we'll definitely come to you. I'm calling Angus. Can you come fix the McFlurry machine, please? Doctor's found a new way to motivate Pam to do her business outside. And I'm not going to lie, it's a little bit creepy. So when she's going to the toilet, just before her toilet. So she gets into that hunched crouch position.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like Pam looks like she's pulled down her pants and she's looking at you and she's like doing that poo and she always looks so sad and she's just like clenching. I go, a gift! You're giving Daddy a gift! It's a gift! And I go, a gift! And then she gets, she starts

trying to shake her towel. Is it Christmas? She gets so excited that she's doing it. She starts trying to shake her towel. And I'm like, look, Mummy, it's a gift. A gift for all. Oh, my God. And then Morgan from the back corner, yes, a gift. A gift.

And then she feels so proud of what she's done. And it just makes it a bit like a... And then you pick up the hot gift and it's just sitting in your hand. And then the funniest thing is that... A gift. ..when you come out in the morning and there's, like, two fresh turds on the lawn. And I'm like, oh, Morgan, we've got gifts.

Presents. There's presents. Overnight, oh, Morgan, we've got gifts. Presents. There's presents. Overnight, someone's come to visit us. We learned on the show that I can't scream. So naturally, we had to work out who on the team had the best scream. Can you give us your best screaming go? Remember that one that went viral many years ago? I can't scream.

Come on, just close your eyes. Three, two, one. I can't scream. I genuinely can't scream. Everyone try and scream now. Hang on, I've been told off a lot By Boss J Don't be too loud

Yeah too loud Here you go Go for it Babs you give us a scream Isn't that a scream Someone out here Is going to think I'm in trouble

If I scream That's fun though She was hurt Shaga come on Close your eyes And put your scream on Not a high pitched squeal Yeah

No just like a scream Oh there we go. That was better than whatever the hell you did. It's actually really hard. I'll try and go as high as I can. You try and do the screaming guy. Ah! See?

That I can't do. Now, you need to be careful. You're going to do another, not hemorrhoid, what's that called? Hemorrhage. Am I Andrea Bocelli? I don't know. It's hard. Since I've had the surgery, I can sing so well.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Am I Andrea Bocelli? I don't know. It's hard. Since I've had the surgery, I can sing so well. Well, that's it for this week. And remember, make sure you put your underwear on the right way or else what happened to Babs could happen to you. Having a rough trot today, she is. What tells what's going on? Would you like to? Well, I've been feeling uncomfortable all morning. I just went to the toilet and realised I've put my undies on backwards. But because I've been adjusting them because they felt weird, I've been feeling uncomfortable all morning. I just went to the toilet and realised I've put my undies on backwards,

but because I've been adjusting them because they've felt weird, I've ripped them. So now you've got ripped backwards undies. Are you going commando? No, no, no. Did you spin them back around? No, because I have to take my shoes off and my jeans. And you've got Doc Martens on and jeans.

Hang on, so where did they rip? Not the waistband. No, like up my arm. Yeah, because she's pulling it so tight. How hard were you yet? I don't know. See you. No, like... Yeah, because she's pulling it so tight. How hard were you yet? Yeah, she was good. I don't know. See you next week, Rust Cookers.

Jess and Ducko. Corner Fade in. Corner Fade. Corner Fade. We're the Rust Cookers. We have two tickets to see MJ the Musical, biggest entertainment event of the year. The thing is, Tony award-winning, now thrilling audiences

at Sydney Lyric Theatre complete your visit with a perfect stay, somewhere to rest your little head. Oh, yeah. Either know to tell Sydney on Darling Harbour, book today, or get involved in the show. It's that easy. It was that easy. That was every day.

It was every day this week. Great contributions all week. We thank the rice cookers as always. But at 8 o'clock today, after Walton Gargan's from the White Lotus, people are now calling him sexy and hot and he's bringing receding hairlines back

or making them... I was going to say, were they ever in? Make receding hairlines great again? Make them just great? Make them sexy? He's made them sexy, which opened up a conversation

on the things that aren't stereotypically sexy. Yes. That you find hot anyway. Honourable mention to Adam, who said white nail polish on a lady's toe. But we tried to call him and I think his mouth was full of toes. He's full of toes. He didn't want the prize. He just wanted to let us know that.

But Katie did call in about something her hubby does and she told us this. When my partner is outside mowing the lawn in his short, short footy shorts, wearing his I'm not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks shirt, Bunnings hat and just

mowing the lawn and then he'll get a quick glimpse of me in the outdoor and then he'll get a quick glimpse of me in the, like, outdoor and then he'll do a lunge. So those calves, they just, like, absolutely in those footy shorts and just the big giant shirt. Katie, and he's putting on a show for you through the glass. I'm not Katie, but 25, 6, 25. But then my son goes out in his footy shorts and tries to do the same thing

and that just changes the time. He's got his little toy mower and it's like, no, this is too old for me. Dad's like kicking Santa away. No, Daddy's trying to score something. Go away. Daddy's trying to work Mummy up for later on. He's like, Daddy, what's your shirt mean? Never mind.

You go mow that patch over there. Oh, we loved it, Katie. We loved it. And you and hubby are going to go off to see MJ the musical. Oh, my God. Yes, Katie, you're going. I'm not taking my hubby. I'm actually taking my son because he's Michael Jackson upset.

Oh, okay. There you go. Leave hubby at home with the lawnmower. Yeah, and the shirt. He's done all the hard work here. Oh, well, that's wonderful. How old is your boy? Nicholas is 12.

He's actually with me now. Oh, Nicholas, you're going to go see MJ the Musical, Little Legend? Yes! Hey, hey, all right, Nicholas. Yes, this is what we need from you. We need, I was going to ask your mum to do it, but you're the MJ fan. You know how Michael Jackson had that very famous, I'm going to ask your mum to do it, but you're the MJ fan. You know how Michael Jackson had that very famous, I'm going to say catchphrase of,

can you give us your best version of that? Beautiful, Nick. Yes. Well done, Nick. Well done, Katie. And well done to your dad and partner because you guys are going. Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Mum.

That's nice and mannerless. Mum, thanks for calling in to the shirt Dad wears on radio. Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Mum. That's nice and mannered. Mum, thanks for calling in to tell everyone what the shirt Dad wears on radio. I appreciate it. Oh, that's great stuff. What a way. What a way to send off the duck, man. Yeah. Hey, babe, that's it.

This is my last time you chat to me before I'm not a dad, I guess. How do you feel, man? I'm excited. Having four weeks off now, and yes, your daughter, very kind, sort of scheduled her birth where we were moments away from having a two-week break anyway. Yeah, it worked out. Over Easter, obviously. That was already locked in. Our boss is very proud of you and proud of your girl.

Yeah. But this is it for four weeks. I know. It's crazy. I want to thank everyone as well, all the rice cookers, all the messages we got on the text line this week, the DMs I've got. After we did the look back down memory lane and spoke about all the IVF journey as well, all the rice cookers, all the messages we got on the text line this week, the DMs I've got, after we did the look back down memory lane and spoke about all the IVF journey as well, that was just like opening Pandora's box of going back in and seeing where I was

at, and all the listeners who've come along for the journey from then. So thank you everyone for their nice messages and for making this week so special for both Morgan and I, and for you guys as a team as well for making this week great. The package you put on for me yesterday, the video, it's been a lot of fun. So I'm excited. It's so wonderful. It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason. It takes a village.

When you become a parent, it takes a village. Here at Shy Guy, you'll be getting involved. To know that you have all the rice cookers behind you. Yeah. And I think it goes without saying. Myself, Angus, Shy Guy and Babs, of course. Yeah. Throw Jethro in there.

Nah. He's like, what? Never met the guy. But we are so excited for you and Morgan. Seeing Morgan yesterday, she did come down to watch you race. The dog. Yep. You know, the race went for about eight seconds.

So she missed the actual run. She missed the race. But to see her. Did you win, honey? I came all this way for nothing. Just so vibrant and excited. And you can feel the energy off you too. This girl is very lucky to be entering your family.

It makes me so excited just seeing how other people are getting so excited for us. Like genuinely, like we're not the first people in the world to have a baby. I know that. It's like obvious. Like, you know, a lot of people do it and stuff. So I apologize if we've harped on about it a lot. But I just think. How about we have that lady today who didn't even know what we were talking about.

Yeah. I just think the journey's been so unique. The story's been so unique over the last two and a half years. And just seeing how excited people are getting, it's just been amazing for me. Yes, absolutely. Really nice to see. Absolutely. No, congratulations.

Oh, well. We can't wait to chat to you in due time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll let you know. We'll be holding down the fort in your absence. We'll be thinking of you every moment of the day. Every time Sagar doesn't play with me on a joke or a tangent, I'll be going, where's my duck, man? Do you want me to send you guys a text where I'll say, hey, play the push playlist?

A.K.A. that means we're in the throes. It's happening. Oh, my God. Well, yes, you were going to send out a mass text to make sure the energy. Like the beacons of Minas Tirith. That's right. We've all got our candle. Yeah.

So, you know, Morgan can feel our collective support and energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in due time, we will hopefully get you on air. Yep. We'll tell you the name, tell you the baby. We'll get a baby in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in due time, we will hopefully get you on air. Yep. We'll tell you the name, tell you the baby. Maybe the screaming baby in the background. Oh, yeah. We'll get a name.

We'll get maybe a quick little birth story. I know. Last night, because my parents are here now, we're with them the whole time. Morgan's parents come tomorrow. Last night was the last night just Morgan and me and Pam, obviously. Has your mum asked to be in the delivery suite yet? Ooh, she hasn't.

Okay. That's coming. I feel like that's coming. Yeah, yeah. That's 100% coming. Yeah, yeah, she hasn't. That's coming. I feel like that's coming. Yeah, yeah. That's 100% coming. Yeah, yeah, that's coming. Tonight's dinner conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How was that, just you and her having a meal? Obviously, she's very tired and very big, so she just didn't want to do a lot. But it was nice. We got Mexican, hung out at home. You know, Pam was sensing something was on. She was being very clingy. But it was nice. It was cool.

It's been a very reflective journey, and I think we made the most of every stage of it. So we're ready for the next one. So excited for you, brother. But it was nice. It was cool. It's been a very reflective journey. And I think we made the most of every stage of it. So we're ready for the next one. So excited for you, brother. So excited. I know I speak on behalf of everyone. Good luck. Thank you. Good luck to you, to Morgan.

Mainly to her. Yeah, I'm not doing a lot. Actually, I'm going to sleep on that uncomfortable bed in the hospital for five nights. Look, she's doing the work to get this kid into the world. But I know you'll be right by her side through those early weeks. They're heckers. Of course they are. And I know you'll be right by her side. Those early weeks are the heckers. Of course they are, and I know you're a great team. So can't wait.

Can't wait. Thanks, team. Appreciate it. Wish me luck with these two. Yeah, good luck. Energy Shy Guy vibes, remember? Smile. They'll be there.

Babs, a bit of energy from you on Tuesdays? Yeah, of course. Okay. Do me proud, team. Monday, 6 a.m. Don me proud, team. Monday, 6am. Don't miss it. Event radio, everybody. We actually do have Lady Gaga tickets. We do.

We're going to really... Tell you how to win those. Yeah, we'll milk that for the week. Yeah, have a crack at it. It's a bit of fun. That and is super food. That's our 810. Yes!

It's all happening. What a week. We're out of here, team. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Not pink, not black, just white Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Not pink, not black, just white. I'll suck the skin off them bones.

Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Hot Honey has stopped at Macca's for a limited time only. Embrace the drip.