Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I'm trying to twist something

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

We find out what old tech your still using, Jess has an issue with her dog sitter and Shy Guy wraps up the week in his diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gather your little helpers, because the Elf on the Shelf Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo Podcast. Hi everyone. Hey! Good to be here on this podcast. What a week! It's been a great week. I mean, it's a great day, but I think it's been a cumulation.

Yep. Accumulation. Yeah, cumulatively a good week. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wonderful stuff. The vibe? Very high. Now you've got a, we're doing this podcast, obviously after the show you've got to rush

out of here and go to a wedding. That's right. I'm the celebrant. And I don't know if it's my ego, Ducko, but when people say like, what are you doing this weekend? And I'm the celebrant for a wedding. And instead of now saying, oh, I've got a wedding, I just have to add in, I'm the celebrant. I'm marrying someone this week.

It was like, well, can I, you know, I can relate to you because I'm a Eucharistic minister. So for me, what are you doing this weekend? I'm giving the, I'm giving the body and blood of Christ to people at church. Instead of just saying, I'm going I, you know, I can relate to you because I'm a Eucharistic minister. So for me, it was what are you doing this weekend? I'm giving the body and blood of Christ to people at church. Instead of just saying I'm going to church. Yeah, no, God. I actually have a role to play. I'm giving the blood of Christ to a bunch of people today. 100%.

Now, when you gave the blood of Christ, did you hold the cup to their lips and tip or did you hand? It's funny. Some younger people would want you to hand it to them so they'd sip, but the older people would just present their mouths like they're feeding. No, when you... Okay, drink, Gary. Like a guinea pig with the feeder. And the bread the same? Did you have to put bread in their mouth?

I put bread in their little circular bits of bread. So they just stick out their tongue to you? Here's something I did which is a bit unholy. Oh, I love this. Because I did it, obviously, I was in school. I gave my mates two pieces of bread. Double drop. We're double dropping the body of Christ.

Are you going to give him a wink? Are you happy to admit that? Well, you know. Oh, my God. You're going to get stripped of your titles. I don't think once you get a Eucharistic minister title, I don't think you can ever be stripped. Oh, my God.

That's been plenty worse than that church. I think I'm fine. Of all the sins I've heard. Of all the sins. Do you double? Yeah. You double bread. I double heard. Of all the sins. Do you double? Yeah. You double bread. I double bread it.

That's amazing. And big swigs of that cheap wine. While you're revealing all these secrets, can you confirm or deny the little wafers? Yes. Are they just from Baker's Delight? I don't know where they're from. They pull out a bag of wafers and it was like a bag. I swear to God, someone told me once Baker's Delight has like the contract.

I like to think it is the crusty skin off the priest's feet. Oh my God. And that's what you're eating. Because he's a conduit. Just fashioned into circles. Just fashioned into circles. Because he's a conduit of Christ himself. So technically you're eating Christ.

Oh my God. What a weird thing how you go to church and you drink blood and you eat Christ. It is so strange. And everyone buys in and you do it. My favourite though was Ash Wednesday as Eucharistic Minister

because then I'd have to be the one to put I'd do the ash on people's heads and the crosses. So if you double bread in your maids what are you doing

for Ash Wednesday? A penis. I did a dick on my maids hand. You were doing dictation. I did. I did the right testy the left testy

the knob. Is it Jonah? I'm pretty sure Jonah my mate's head. You were doing dictation. I did. I mean, I did the right testy, the left testy, the dog. He's a Jonah. I'm pretty sure Jonah is based on you. The character. You gave me the keys to a Eucharistic minister. I was like house captain. I was like rowing captain. I was like Eucharistic minister.

But I was still me. You had a lot of fingers in a lot of eyes. I did. Just classic me. Everyone's like, no, I could be good at that. Did you get some advice in like year nine or something from a careers counselor being like, it's good to pad out your resume. It's just good to say yes.

Say yes to everything. I remember I was sitting in an assembly when I was in grade eight and one of the former old boys was speaking. It's like, say yes to as much as you can. So I was doing everything. That changed your life. Yeah. Because how many young people do we see who don't have any hobbies, don't have any interests

because they're not saying yes to things. People are scared to put themselves out there. And there's young duckos being like, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, I'll give it a go. Yeah, I'll do it. It's funny, though. I'm still waiting for the day I go to church randomly on a Sunday. And you burst into flames.

Do we have any Eucharistic ministers here? We have an emergency. They didn't show up, and I can just go, oh. Brenda passed away. Brenda's dead. Because she's 96. Because she had too much blood of Christ again. And I step up.

We need another Eucharistic minister. We've got a full house. Here's the thing, though. And we can't service all these people. You don't get a license with it. I had no way to prove it. How many scammers are out there? I know.

I have no way to prove it. I'm authorized, but I've got no way to prove it. So you're telling me I could go to service on Sunday and just be like, hey, if you need an extra set of hands, I'm here. And they'd go, oh, great. But they might not do their background checks. They'd check what hand you pick the bread up in and what hand you give it to. Great way to find people.

And you know me, I don't know my left and right. And what do you say when I come up to you and put my hands up? You say? Body of Christ. Yeah, good. And? Amen. Yeah, and?

Oh, yeah, blood of Christ. Yeah, correct. It's not hard. She's on to us. You know our special scheme. Run, Eucharistic ministers, run! She's found to us You know our special scheme Run Eucharistic Ministers Run She's found the forbidden city

She knows too much Oh you know what we need You're going to like this You're not even going to niche sting me We need McGonagall to do that spell So the soldiers come down Protect our school Do your duty

That's what the Eucharistic ministers need, to protect the secrets. I've always wanted to do that. We're in Hogwarts. Quick, everyone. I'm just throwing the blood of Christ at people. What's your favourite? I saw her on the interview with Ariana. You know, they're all doing the wicked press.

I don't know how it came up, but she was talking about her favourite quote from Harry Potter. And her favourite quote, Ariana, she goes, in all the movies, is, not my daughter, you bitch. And it made me think, what's your favourite quote from Harry Potter. And her favorite quote, Ariana, she goes, in all the movies, is, not my daughter, you bitch. And it made me think, what's your favorite quote? I've got a few. You've got a few? Catch the key in the first one, or do you know anything about the Chamber of Secrets?

It's not an audible quote, but my favorite scene is where Snape sizes up to Harry in the Deathly Hallows part one and McGonagall pushes him out the way and they start, fuck me. That's good. Full chills. Full chills. I think the goat, though, the best quote.

Not goats, Harry. The greatest of all time. Yes. Not me. Not Hermione. You, Harry. You. Anyway.

What's Rupert Grint doing this? Not a lot. Still making bank off Harry Potter. Absolutely. Go forth and enjoy the podcast. Go forth with the power of the Lord. Yes. Body of Christ.

Jess and Ducko in the morning. Hey, welcome to Friday, everyone. Well, good morning. Good morning. How are we? It's a Friday. We can't be bad. We can't be bad. Well, good morning. Good morning. How are we? Oh, it's a Friday. We can't be bad. We can't be bad.

I've got a wedding this afternoon. Yes. I am love-filled. Yeah, another one. Another one. Back it up. Which I'm celebrant again for. Oh, jeez.

So, I mean, I'm earning my dollar. Well, are you? Well, no, because I'm doing it out of the love. Out of love. It's all about love. It is all about love. It is an honour. It is an honour.

But it feels weird to be like, oh, I'm just going to marry some friends. Yeah, this afternoon. Like literally do the paperwork and all that this afternoon. Yeah, duck out and do that. Had to get up early, obviously. My husband's already at the wedding because he's in the bridal party. So you solo parented last night? Yes.

Thank God. Lucia was unbelievable. No dramas. But I had to get the grandparents to come over at 5am this morning to do the high five. You be here when she wakes up. Should have brought her in and just given her the baths for a bit. She was very disappointed when I said, oh no, the grandparents, it's alright, I've left her at home alone.

But my dog, Gianni, went ballistic. Obviously, who's coming into the house at 5am? And it's that classic thing of like, sure, she's going to wake the baby, but also, what a good boy. Protecting the ladies. Defending the kingdom. Defending the kingdom.

I mean, woke up the baby and I was like, now I'm annoyed at you. But I do appreciate. I hope you gave him a big treat. You know, while Poppy Pete walked in and was very impressed. He's like, what a good boy. I'm like, all right, you lower your voice now. Everyone be quiet. Everyone's waking up the baby.

Everyone be quiet. Don't wake the baby up. Mummy's got to go to work. Bye. Bye. Enjoy it. Thanks so much. Is Lucia. Don't wake the baby up. Oh, that's nice. Mummy's got to go to work. Bye. Bye. Enjoy it. Thanks so much. Is Lucia coming to the wedding?

She is. She won't come to the ceremony per se, but we've got a nice Airbnb. Oh, so you're staying out there and stuff. We're staying out there, making a weekend of it. Oh, another one. Honestly, the recovery, the recovery party, I love just as much, if not more than the wedding. That's why weddings on Fridays are good, because then the recovery's on the Saturday.

Everyone can rip in. Exactly. And it's just so nice to reminisce, and you don't have to wear the uncomfortable shoes or the big dress. Do you bring Lucia to recovery? We'll bring her to the recovery because the couple has a little one as well. So they can just like play in a corner while mummy gets on a rose. So it's a little kids club.

Yeah, kids club. Yes. That's a shame because you're, I mean, I don't know if it's as important, but you're missing out on the work Christmas party today. No, no, I'm devastated. Two years in a row. That is right. Yeah, I missed out on last year too, but now I've had to back up.

No, because last year we were both six weeks post-partum. Yeah, we both had to run that leave. We couldn't be going to the Christmas party. God, we were in it. It was hot last year. We were bloated. We were bloated. We were leaking from everywhere.

Oh, God, the leakage. There weren't enough maternity pads to go around. We were texting each other, you got another leak? Yeah, me too. Try this. Try the spackle. But no, Christmas party tonight. Yeah, you're missing out.

Yeah, I know, I miss it tonight. So I woke up, you know, filled with love and joy in my heart. You woke up with Christmas cheer. Yeah, well, cheer's one word. Babs Shog and I were like, oh, you know, it's that afternoon. It'll be fun when we get there. It will be. It is a weird one, isn't it?

Because it's a lunch into drinks. It's a two o'clock lunch into a rooftop drink. Two o'clock lunch is weird. Like, are you having a brunch? Because I would be starving by two o'clock. Yeah, and Shaga's going to pick me up, so he'll probably be in half an hour late. He's become your work event driver, hasn't he? Yeah, it's fun.

Well, he always offers, and I'm like, okay. That's very kind. Yeah. Well, I didn't offer, but you forced it on me. Babs, did you hear an offer? I heard a soft offer. Even Babs dropped it yesterday. Don't answer that. Because she said to me yesterday, she's like, parking's really bad at this place. Yeah, pick Babs, did you hear an offer? I heard a soft offer. Even Babs dropped it yesterday. Don't answer that.

She said to me yesterday, parking's really bad at this place. Yeah, pick, bash and me up. And so she was hinting at someone else should drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why take three cars when you could take one? Yeah, that doesn't matter. Okay, if you don't drive, we don't have to get you to drive.

I know. But you do drive. I'm okay to drive. But don't assume. The last three events, work events, you guys have matched. Yeah, we have. Basically worn the same thing. I told them already what I'm wearing today.

Have you? I'm wearing a knit. Another knit. Do not wear it. I'm wearing what I'm wearing. I've seen your photo before. But, Dago, you've only used the word knit, and that's what you used last time. It's a plain white one.

And he tried to say. I don't have a white one. Oh, good. I didn't know what a knit was. Yeah, that's right. I still wore it. Now we know. And I was like, mother, that's a knit.

Yes. So can you pick up Babs first and pick up me? Yeah, that's how it would work on a map. It's like the Magic School Bus with Shy Guy. Oh, it is. So fun. Good to get a Magic School Bus reference in there for the show today. Can you educate me on Shy Guy's pick-up etiquette?

Is he a beep-beep or is he a texter? Is he a come to the door and go? He's a I'll be there in five and get there 20 minutes later and then text. Yeah, because five minutes on a text means I'm actually 10 minutes late. Yeah, you are. I've actually noticed that. You're actually not for work, but you're always late to come to other things. I am late.

I don't try to be. It just happens. Do you like to be fashionably late to the events? No, I try to be on time and then I think I am and then I'm not. You probably need to be on time. It's a lunch today and I want my bread to start with. Oh, you need to have your starters. You don't want to miss out on that.

And it's like Babs said, isn't it tough parking around there, Babs? Really tough parking? That's what got us unstuck last time. It is tough parking. And there's only like five parks directly in front of the restaurant. So if you even get out there a little bit early, you might jag one of those. Yeah, we could get one. You could get one.

I'll back you in yet. I'm often lucky when it comes to car parking. What do you just put near the door at shopping centres? Do you say the prayer? The parking prayer? Yeah. I might jag one of those. Yeah, we could get one. You could get one. I'll back you in yet. I'm often lucky when it comes to car parking. Oh. What do you do? I just go near the door at shopping centres. Oh, hello. Do you say the prayer? The parking prayer?

Yeah. What's the prayer? Hail Mary, full of grace, let me find a parking space. Oh, no, I just drive in. Oh. Usually works. You know why? Because he's got the rosary in his heart.

No, he does. He doesn't need to vocalise it. You can pray for me because I'll pick you up. I'll be in there praying with my beads. Honestly, the few times I have used the prayer, I swear to God it's worked. It works. I swear to God it's worked. It happens.

I should swear to God when I'm talking about prayers. To the parking god. Do you use the parents in prams? I got a blessing yesterday. Sorry, just speaking of prayers. A man stopped me in the street. I go, this is the world we're living. I was walking, the baby strapped to my chest.

I had the dog huffing and puffing. It was a muggy afternoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I could see him looking at me from across the road. I was like, oh God, what's going on here? I was like, how do I defend the baby when she's strapped to my chest? And he goes, here you go. Hands me a leaflet.

The power of Christ be with you. Blessings rain upon you. And then like a Bible verse. And he goes, blessings be upon your head. Hope your night gets better. What? Did you say it's not bad? I kind of froze and was like, I want to go into how grateful I am for my life. Christ compels you.

I'm fine. I'm actually really good. I'm in a really great place. Yeah. But I was like, thank you. Okay. And walked away a little confused. And he gave you a little passage.

Gave me a little passage. I hope you read it. And I felt really bad throwing it in the bin. Yeah. I was like. Where else are you going to put it? Where else am I going to put it? I'm not going to put it on the fridge, am I?

Could have been. So between prayers and blessings. There you go. We're in for a big show. It's going to be a huge show. We've got the light shining down upon us. We are the holiest of holy shows. We are.

We have Alphac's choice. Hopefully that light shines on you and you can win. You're mate to the Pope, for goodness sake. I've met Pope. Papa John the Pope. Well, the last Pope. The last one. May he rest in peace.

Valet. God, it was a memory too. Valet, JP. He's like, duck man. I was like, JP. You're out the back smoking strawberry kiwi vapes together. Oh, because in that Pote-mobile. We were punching vapes.

In the Pote-mobile, we were trapped in that little box. Yeah, and we hotboxed it. He's like, Duckman. I roll and he's like, Duckman, you got the goods. I was like, JP, you know I got you, my guy. Close the door, JP. Tell your little Swedish guards, the ones in the fun outfits, stand watch. Hey, I'll tell you what, JP, he can take a toke.

Oh, God, he can. When the Pope-mobile is a-rockin', don't, oh, that makes it sound like you're, never mind. No, don't. Never mind. When it's puffin', don't come a-knockin'. That doesn't work. When it's a-rockin', it's a-john and a-duck a-boppin'. Boppin', yeah.

Anyway, it's going to be a big show. Yes, our Fox, Shaga and Babs' Diary of the Week and reviews coming up. Yes. We've got Forgotten Friday. Bang, it's still time to vote on our Instagram for that one. Absolutely. You get to dictate what we play on the radio. We draw our call of fame today.

Emco Beauty, 500 bucks to spend. Oh, my God. How good is that going to be? This is unbelievable. And up next, no dumb thought Fridays. 13, 10, 60. Yes, yes. When we talk about Call of Fame, what a great opportunity to get involved.

Has there been a little thought niggling, swimming its way around your head? Anything. That you've never had a chance to talk with someone because you're worried. Oh, this might be a bit dumb. Yeah, this might be a bit dumb. Don't worry. Nothing will be dumber than the time Shy Guy said, do you ever wonder why bugs don't scream?

Well, you keep bringing it up, so it made an imprint. Hey, it's that kind of vibe. 131060, you can call or text the text line if you want. 0488881069. Ducco might give you a blessing. Oh, definitely. Me and JP, I'll give you a blessing. I'm authorised.

I'm a Eucharistic minister. I know. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Do. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Everyone always says, there's no such thing as a dumb question. Ask away.

Ask away. Go for it. But no one ever says, what about just those random thoughts? It's not necessarily a question. They pop into your head. Yes, maybe you're walking. You're out minding your own business. You spot something and go, God, I'd love to talk about this with someone,

but they're going to judge me hard. Well, this, like Earth Fitness, judgment-free vibes. Judgment-free zone. We don't judge you here. No, because I'll tell you what, we're just as dumb. Oh, yeah. We've had plenty of dumb thoughts on this show. So the 131060, if you've got any, or text the text line 048881069. That's right.

We've got a call, Daco, but would you like to start? Yeah, I'll start. I'll start. We'll finish off with Tonsa. I love that. Okay. I was at a park yesterday with my dog, right, with Pam. Nice afternoon for her.

Yeah, another dog came, and then they started, I believe, dog chatting. You know, just sniffing each other and doing that and sussing each other out. Yeah, a bit of butt action. Bit of butt action. Always butt action. That's how they work it. The only species where it's friendly to sniff someone else's butt.

Absolutely. God, I would just love to ask Pam, what have you worked out about this dog? From the butt. Based on that sniff. They started playing and mucking around and then I thought, when dogs catch up with their other dog friends

at, say, dog parks and stuff, do you think they talk to each other about their certain living situations and how good some have it compared to others? 100%. Like, do you reckon one dog's like, oh, poor Tim, he got a little shack in the middle of nowhere. Did you see Graham? He got a three-bedroom mansion on the beach. What are you having for dinner?

Exactly. How many meals are you getting? I've had this exact thought for many, many years. I only got a dog in my 20s. I bought my brother a Labrador for his 20th or whatever, 18th. So when I would walk Ranger the Labrador and other dogs in their backyards would bark, I always thought that was them being like, lucky you. You get to go out.

You're outside. It's like walking down the inmate halls and there's all prisoners locked in. And they're just like, yeah. 100%. Because there was this trail where I grew up where it was like all the backyards faced onto this sort of pathway. So they could see out and we could see in because they were just chain link fences. But they're trapped in their backyard.

So they're seeing Ranger the Labrador leaving. And he would never bark back because he knew, I've got it better. I've got it good. I don't need to. He's strutting his stuff. And Pam was prancing away yesterday, butthole clenched. And I was like, yeah, she knows she's got it good. She knows she's got it better. I've got it good. I don't need to. He's strutting his stuff. And Pam was prancing away yesterday, butthole clenched, and I was like, yeah, she knows she's got it good. She knows she's got it good.

And you know what? It's good that she talks to other dogs. Yeah. Because I don't know if she would know how good she's got it. That's true. She's grown up like that. You don't get a raw diet every day and oats by a morning? From day dot.

Peasants. It's not like she started on kibble, right? Yeah, that's it. From day dot. So it's not like she would know. She has no idea how good she's got it. You should give her kibble once just to educate her. Look how good you've got it.

The problem is she thinks kibble's like Maccas now, so she really hoes that thing in. Because it would be junk food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes for it. That's not dumb at all. Thank you so much. Mine, I popped into, I don't know if I should name them

because I don't want to imply that they're judging. I will. I popped into Zambrero yesterday. Oh, yeah. You know I love me. A cheeky little burrito. Zambrero is the bottom tier of Mexican, in my opinion. How dare you?

It goes Mad Mex, Zambrero. Oh, my God. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It's Guzman. It is Guzman. No, Guzman. You're brainwashed by Babs.

Then Mad Mex and then Zambrero is like the bottom. You are brainwashed by Babs. Guzman is the best. No, Zambrero is so generous with their sauces. I refuse to go to Zambrero. That's how bad it is. I refuse to go to Guzzi's. That's just weird.

That day we got Babs all that Guzman merch, that was not my idea. That was a ducko activation. But anyway, I go to Zambrero. But it's the same premise. You went to Mexican. Where you are building it. Subway would be a similar one. You're building it, yeah?

Are they judging you based on your order? Ah. Like, they're paid. It doesn't matter. What did you get? It doesn't affect. So I like a, well, I changed it up. I got a beef one, which I've never usually got before.

Beef bowl or burrito? No, no, burrito. Oh, yeah. But I got double beans. Oh, yeah. I got what? Oh, no, no. No, we don't have when you get double beans.

I got extra cheese, no sour cream. Oh, yeah, they're judging. Yeah, like, he gave me no indication he was. But I was like, this feels a bit odd and it feels a bit shonky. I was like, I want corn and tomato, but I don't want lettuce or onion. Like, does he look at that and go, what is this chick doing? What is she doing? I want cracked corn chips, but I don't want jalapeno.

Oh, goodness. And then I want two different sauces. Yeah, okay, she's definitely just annoyed at you. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think they're judging. They would probably. And Subway as well. If you don't just get the custom one, if you build your own, they'd be like If you build your own, is that annoying? Yeah, I'd say so.

Okay. We go to Tony on 131060. Good morning, Tony. Morning. How are we going? Honza, we couldn't be better. Are you out for your walk this morning? I am. Very good. Fantastic. What's your dumb thought? Well, I'm taking my dog for a walk and she stops in the weirdest places to have a crap.

And then she looks at you like, what am I doing here? What are they thinking? When you say weirdest places, like where? Like not on a patch of grass? Normally right in front of someone who's sitting there minding their own business. There's just, you know, Glenda minding her own business at the bus stop. Tony's dog has decided this is where I'll go. And it's always Tony, their dog always just stops and looks at you while they're doing their poo.

And you're like, what? Yeah, and they've got the weirdest look on their face. They do. Like, what did you do to me? I didn't choose this spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what's funny? I always wonder, do they know, do you think dogs know what we're doing when we're picking up their poos?

Oh, they know. It's a power move. It is. It is a superiority complex. Yeah. They know we are their slaves. Yeah. You walking around with that bag of poop right now, Tony?

I've gone past a bin, luckily. Good on you. Will you throw dog poo in other people's bins? Absolutely. Tony? Yeah, absolutely. 100%. First bin I see.

Controversial. Me too. It's a bin. I wouldn't care if someone did it to my bin. I don't know why. I get it. It's a bin. I get it.

But it's my bin and I want your dog shit in a bin. Do you care? I wouldn't care if someone did it to my bin. I don't know why. I get it. It's a bin. I get it. But it's my bin and I want your dog shit in my bin. That's so weird. I'll put my dog's business. Not your dog's. It's in a little... I know. I don't know why. I don't know why.

So you'd be annoyed if Tony and I walked past your house and did it? Absolutely. If I saw you do it, I wouldn't say anything because I hate confrontation. But if I went then to go put my garbage in the next day and I saw poo bags that were not my poo bags, I'd shake my fist to the sky. Tony, head to Jess's house. Don't do it, Tony. Don't do it.

Drop the fresh turd in. Jess and Ducko. I do have an issue right now with Target. Oh, no. Target have done something which I think they cannot do involving Christmas. I mean, it's here. It's upon us, everyone. What is it?

The 29th of November. And the 29th of November, appropriate to be selling Christmas stuff, talking about Christmas. Absolutely. What could they possibly have done? Don't tell me they changed the recipe of mince pies. Oh, God. It's worse. Oh, God.

They've changed Santa. Pardon? They've changed Santa. He's probably changing. When you think of Santa, you think of a jolly man who is larger. He's got a gut. He's got a big beard. A red nose.

You know, it's a bit because it's so cold from the North Pole. Of course, yes. Well, Target have done a new holiday campaign where they've transformed Santa into sexy Santa. No, no. Santa is a man, and he is who he is. It's the one time of the year where the beer gut looks good on a man and it's acceptable.

But you are making him lean, and you're making him attractive. They made him lean? Yeah, so. Well, this isn't Santa. So there's an actual model, Brent Bailey, who you know. He's a model and actor. And he's a Target employee with the name badge Chris K, obviously Chris Kringle.

He's dressed in tight quarter-zipped red sweater, car key pants, and he's got a handsome Santa, like, comb over and face. I don't have. Oh. Oh, is he getting you? I'm just showing you a photo. Okay. Hang on. Shy Guy's just pulled over the actual ad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they've done ads, right? What's his name? Sorry? Chris. Brent Bailey. So the ads... Sorry, I'm getting flustered.

Yeah, I know you are. You and all the other mums out there. So all the dads... I don't hate that car key. It's not for the kids. The kids are like, well, this is horrible. That's not Santa. Because the idea is... And all the dads are like, no. And the mums are like. So all the dads... I don't hate that khaki. It's not for the kids. The kids are like, well, this is horrible. That's not Santa. Because the idea is... And all the dads are like, no. And the mums are like,

oh, Santa. Because of... You know what this is giving? It's giving... Chris K. It's giving the purple wiggle. You know that whole thing about the purple wiggle? Is the purple wiggle meant to be hot? Bro. Wasn't it Jeff? No. Remember when they expanded? Jesus, Lee. Oh, it was Jeff. Remember when they expanded? Yeah. To make it more inclusive and they got more people.

It went from four to eight. Oh, jeez. I didn't know that. The second purple. Yeah. His name's John. They got two purple Wiggles now? They got two purple.

So Lockie is the re-energized Jeff. Is the Tree of Life still kicking around? Yeah. Presumably on drugs. Isn't he having a moment? He's having a time. We were on the Tree of Life bandwagon way back then. Tree of Life was on the morning show the other day.

He was. He was on the project. He was at the desk. He was doing the press tour. He can't be sober. The Tree of Life, to dance the way he does. The Tree of Life. He's had acid. He was on the project. He was at the desk. He was doing the press tour. He can't be sober. The Tree of Life, to dance the way he does. The Tree of Life. He's had acid. He's high on life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is high on life, the Tree of Life. That's not a fact.

No, but get up for Ducko, John from the Wiggles. He was in Justice Crew. John in the Wiggles? Yes, he's a second purple. So he's like Lockie's understudy, I guess. I see, I see. But he was in Justice Crew and all the TikTok moms are going, wait a minute. Hang on.

This guy has got no business being in the children's band. But if I've got to go to the concert, Ducko, and take the three children, why can't there be something for mummy? Oh, my God. He's just a model with abs. And you should see the way he dances. Jeff was just a, they all had dad bods and skivvies. You should see.

What? He's skivvies so tight around his biceps. You should see the way he can dance. I think he had a moose knuckle going on there too with the pants. It is unbelievable what this man can do with his torso. I mean, that's something. What? What is that?

He's wearing a really short shirt. I mean, he shouldn't be wearing blue. That's why the show's a selling out. When do the wiggles get M-rated? He is a wiggle. My kids shan't be growing up on them. He is a wiggle. So it's giving that.

It is. It's something for everyone because all those representatives of Santa that we do see out and about, you know, the shopping centre ones, you get your photos here. Fat jolly old Ben, yes. They are more indicative. Yes. But there's got to be something for the mums out there. Well, the license plate says this.

He's got an ad. He comes with a car. Yeah, yeah. It's a Bronco. It's a red Jeep. Yeah, yeah. Is it? Yeah. It's a Ford Bronco It's a red Jeep. Is it?

It's a Ford Bronco with a Slay license plate on the back saying, born to be Chris. God, I thought you were going to say the license plate said Slay, which I don't hate. I don't hate. It says, meet Chris, our newest Target team member. He loves holidays as much as the next guy. Actually, way more than the next guy.

And then how's this? The second ad they brought out, which is actually pretty funny. This is mainly in America. It goes, he's hot, but these Target turkey deals are even hotter because obviously they sell turkey. And then a mum...

Their Target has food as well. Yeah, that's a grocery store. It's like a grocery store. Yeah. There's a mum buying and looks over at him and goes, wow, he is hot

and so is this price. Well, we can't... Is she sex up Christmas? Is she talking about the turkey? Well, where's Mrs. Claus then? All right, is there going to be a sexy Mrs. Claus? You know what's hot? Divorced dads.

He's not single. I know on good authority Mrs. Claus is at home going, stop perving on Chrissy Cade. This is what you don't understand, because you're still in the honeymoon phase of, like, keeping yourself all tidy for your miso. There will come a point in your marriage where you go, who am I doing it for?

I locked her down. What are you saying? You're trying to impress other people at the shops? No, I'm saying he's divorced. I'm saying that's why he's divorced. You reckon he's divorced? 100%. Look at him.

That's why he's found the glow up. He's found time to go to the gym because now he's back on the market, Ducco. Oh, my goodness. He's back on the market. That is not a happily married man. I will not hear it. That is not a happily married man. I will not hear anything else. That is not a happily married man. I will not hear it.

Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course, we come back to you if there is time. It's Friday.

This money will be fantastic in your pocket for the weekend. We go to you, Jasmine. Good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you going? Oh, Jasmine. Jasmine. Jasmine.

She sounds well-rested to me. Did you have a good night's sleep, Jazzy? I did not, but that's okay. Every time I've asked someone that because they have so much pep, they have said no. They're overcompensating. The pep makes up for it. Yeah, the pep makes up for it. Amen, sis. What do you want to do with $10,000? Would love to put it towards

our wedding. When are you getting married? We need money to plan that, so no idea yet. Okay, I see. I see. We're in the early stages. That's right. Jasmine got the ring, and now it's like, well, now we need the money to have the big day. That makes a lot of sense. Yes.

Well, this is a very solid letter for you, Jasmine. What's she got? She's got R. Ooh. Ooh, okay. R for Rose. Okay? That's my middle name, so that's a good sign.

Jasmine Rose. Oh, my God, you're named after two flowers. That's bloody beautiful. That's nice. I am. Yeah. You must smell nice. Do you smell nice, Jasmine?

I think so, yeah. Yeah? Well. You'd hope so. If you got two names of flowers, you'd really be need to be conscientious of your fragrance. If you had deodorant, you're a step ahead of Jess, so. Hey, I bought a new one. I'm testing it out.

Did you? Moo goo. Is this a. Sensitive one. Is it a herbal. Yeah. Aluminium-free. Have you started?

Bruce. Jasmine, you ready? I am. Okay, Jasmine, let's go. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R, we need you to name a vegetable. Rhubarb. A body part.

Pass. A dog breed. Rottweiler. A caffeinated drink. A band. A movie. A form of exercise. A space term. An instrument.

An occupation. A body part. A occupation. Pass. A body part. Pass. A caffeinated drink. Red Bull. Red Bull. I'll give it to you after the buzzer. I thought Jasmine's going to come back and her brain will have kicked in.

She was keeping you on your toes there with the passers. She was. She was coming back around. You got yourself five Red Bull after the buzzer, but I'll just give it to you for the good times. Give it to Jasmine Rose. Jasmine Rose. A body part could have been ribs or the rotator cuff if you've had any shoulder issues.

Is that why you've broken your rotator cuff? Yeah, mine has got a tear in it. Yeah. A band could have been Red Hot Chili Peppers. A movie could have been Rocky. Rush Hour. Rush Hour. Rush Hour.

Ratatouille. Remember the Titans. Holy crap. Is every good movie starting with R? An instrument recorder. We've had a live recorder on this very show. Shout out to Enya. Play this live on the air.

One of the great days in radio. And an occupation could have been a receptionist, radiologist, or a real estate agent. Would you have accepted radio host? I would have accepted radio host. Jasmine's talking to a couple of them. Yeah, she's chatting to a few now. You don't go empty-headed though, Jazz.

$100 to spend at Active Truth. That is all yours. Amazing. Thank you so much, guys. Good luck with the wedding, Jasmine. Thank you. Hi, Jasmine Rose. I am an official celebrant.

I was waiting. I was waiting. Well, why wouldn't I take the opportunity? I was waiting. Why wouldn't I? If you can win Alphabucks again, you can afford Jazz. Jasmine seems like a legend, and I'd like to work with her. There you go, Jazz.

For a fee, of course. I'll leave this one offline. I'm riding on a bit of a high, if I'm honest with you, Ducco. Yes, I've got some of our best mates' weddings this afternoon. I am their celebrant. You know, the vibe of a wedding always puts me in a good mood. But I peaked yesterday. I really peaked in the afternoon around 3.08pm,

just scrolling Instagram as I do. And I see a message in my request folder. So it's not someone I follow and they don't follow me. It's come through. Hello, Jess. My name is Becky. And today, whilst I was at a high address place, you know these places where you've got a fancy event,

you don't want to pay $500, you go hire it. I was at a higher shop. Can you tell my wife about those places? Yeah. Just bought a new dress for the hens. Did we need to do that? I've got a new dress for the wedding. We could have absolutely hired.

You can hire us. Mate, you play the fast fashion card. So how many times are you going to wear that? Better to hire. Because let's be real, in the age of Instagram, you're not going to wear it again. Exactly. Once you put one photo up, it's done.

Hey, Jess, my name is Becky. And today I was looking at dresses at a dress hire place. And I met your mum. Oh. I met your mum, she writes. And then goes on. Oh, geez, it's an essay. It's an essay.

Oh, my God. She is the most beautiful and bubbly woman. She needed some help with an outfit, with a choice, and all the shop assistants were busy. So my mum has knocked on someone else's change room. Boogie, boogie, boogie. It happened to be Becky. And she's gone.

Wait, knocked on someone's change room? Yep, and she's gone, excuse me, can you do up my zip? The willy. And she has just got chatting with this lovely woman named Becky and they've gotten... They're not in our state. They're in a different state. They're in a different state. But my mum, you know, every shop assistant's busy. She's like, I can't do this zip up. I'm on the bloody clock. You know, she'd probably had a one hour park. She's like, I can't be dilly dallying waiting for someone. I'm just going to ask another customer. Can you do up my zip?

Apparently they got chatting. This woman, Becky, is giving my mum style advice. They're asking each other's opinion. They're picking out other dresses together. How did they make the connection to you? Is Becky a rice cooker? No. Becky's got no idea who I am, but she goes on to say she was just beaming

and told me so much about you. Oh no, mum, no. She told me that you have a one-year-old. Oh, goodness. And how proud of a grandma she is now. And this person's not a listener. So she doesn't listen to the show. She doesn't know who you are.

Doesn't know who I am. She's just randomly then messaged you. Literally, the universe just put Becky and my mum in the same shop at the same time. Goes on to say, she's just so proud of you and your brother. Oh, my gosh. And it was really sweet to see. She goes, I've got two young children myself and I just hope to have the relationship that you

obviously have with your mum. You live interstate and you're grown. I call my mum because I'm like, I haven't even heard from my mum yet and I'm reading this from Becky. She's knocking on random people's change rooms and telling them about your life story. How's this? This Becky woman, she goes, my family are all in New Zealand.

So after I finished up with your mum, I called my mum back in New Zealand because I was like feeling mum vibes and wanted to check in with my mum. She goes, next time I'm back in Australia, we're having lunch. No, no, no, no, no, no. So I call my mum. I call my mum. So that's, yeah, as I said, 3pm. I call my mum by 3.30 because now Becky and I are having chats.

I call my mum. She answers the phone. You're not going to believe what's just happened. I went, did you meet someone named Becky? She went, how do you know? Instagram mum. You told her my life story. You practically told her my address.

Look at them getting photos together in the change room. How old do you reckon Becky is? What is going on? I said, how old's Becky? I put her somewhere at like 26, 27. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 40. Oh, jeez.

She looks amazing for 40. Looking good for her age. She's got two young kids, but now they're having lunch. She's invited her over because where Becky lives in Melbourne, my mum's really interested in that suburb, they're becoming besties. She goes, I know the butcher your mum goes to. So they're going to all of a sudden be friends and go there and Becky's going to be part of your family now.

Becky is now part of my life because my mum just needed someone to do her zip up. What? Unbelievable. She's like, you just got to say hello to some people sometimes. You ask them for help. You never know. But now you're going to be going over and Becky will be coming over for dinner when you're coming over. Absolutely. And I bet you she'll hand make las them for help. You never know. But now you're going to be going over and Becky will be coming over for dinner when you're coming over.

Absolutely. And I bet you she'll hand make lasagna for Becky. Oh, probably. No store-bought crap for Becky. Absolutely not. But I just couldn't believe it. I went, Mark, good on you. Look at you just spreading your positivity and your joy and your light.

I love that she just told this random person everything about you. Everything. In a change room while doing the dress. Absolutely. Obviously, so much so, she's found me on Instagram and started following me. She probably followed me too. She was like, you are the co-host of the daughter and I'm proud of you. She'll probably come up and visit us now.

Okay, she's part of the family. We'll have to put Becky up. That is wild. She went on to say she's 40 and retired. I was like, Ma, what did she do for a living? She goes, I didn't ask. We need to know that. If a 40-year-old tells you.

You and your mum are just the same. Like, who gets into this much detail with a complete stranger in a change room? In a change room. And asks them these questions. My mum, unless she was like a covert shop assistant, because my mum ended up hiring seven dresses. Becky's got it! Becky's got it!

Jess and Ducko. Woo! Jess and Ducko. Every! Jess and Ducko. Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question. Is it a banger? Is it a banger? Forgotten Bangers.

Forgotten Bangers. Yeah, it is that time of the week again. Put some lead in your pencil, some pepper in your set. We get you up and about for a Friday. It is Forgotten Friday. Bangers! It's the dance floor bangers. Or the car trip bangers.

Yep. When they come on, you go, oh, god damn. Hell yeah, turn it up. I haven't heard this in a hot minute. Yes. But your toe starts tapping. Yep. You start bopping your head.

Start gyrating. You start gyrating. You go, why doesn't this get played more? Even Nan's gyrating. You're like, Nan? Nan? You know, if Nan starts feeling things, you've got to get that on the radio. Hold on.

Anything can happen. Yeah, yeah. Hold me false teeth, she says. Oh, my God. Let me take them out because I need to let loose. It's like my equivalent of putting my glass of rosé down. Exactly. Nan takes the falsies out.

It's like I'm doing the bra. And she starts doing the rave circle. You know, she stands in the middle being like, push back, push back, push back. Everyone moves around from Nan. Exactly. She starts doing the rave dance. Nan's so trendy. She's so fun.

Anyway, I've forgotten Friday Bangers. It is the time you can vote. It's on Instagram, Jess and Ducko. Voting is now closed. That's right. We all butt up a song and the rice cookers get to vote. Yep. It's a tough round. Tough round. It's a tough round. Ducko, Voting is now closed. That's right. We all butt up a song and the rice cookers get to vote. Yep. It's a tough round.

Tough round. It's a tough round. Ducko, what was your nomination? My nomination, which I think came in, unfortunately, last on 17%. Bit of happy ending. Micah. I just thought this was meaningful for a Friday, baby. You should have done the colour one he sings.

Yeah, but this one, it's about life in its entirety. This goes out to the lovers. The lovers we've lost. The lovers that are no more. Anyway, it's not getting played. So that's gone. Oh, yes. Well, that's bringing up the rear.

Shy Guys had second last, I believe. Yes. Jonas Brothers. Two. No. I'm glad this didn't get up. This is bad. You know what?

This is very insulting to Micah or Mika. Yeah. This beat. By 1%, though. So, you know. Still a beat. Coming in at second place, the runner-up, the Sandra Bullock of Miss Congeniality, if you will. Franz Bertram.

Oh, this is such a good song. Will it be a wild card later in the show? Could be. Stand by. Was this yours, Babs? This was mine. Yeah, this is really good. I would have liked to have heard this the show? Could be. Stand by. Was this yours, Babs? This was mine. Yeah, this was really good. I would have liked to have heard this.

Well, too bad. Too bad. Because what you're hearing, the Rice Cookers have voted. What are we hearing? Miss Rhode Island, Break My Stride. Oh, goodness. From Unique 2. Get it on, turn it up.

What happened to Unique 1? This was my choice. This is Jess's. What is this? Take you back to? I don't choice. This is Jess's. What is this? Take you back to? I don't know. I just like it. Awesome.

Unique 2, it's Break My Stride. Good for you. Forgotten Friday Banger. Forgotten Friday Banger. Unique 2, Break My Stride. Here at breakfast, Jess and Darko. 18 minutes past 7. Hopefully got you going.

Oh, that's a bit of fun. Thank you to everyone who voted. Next week, oh, my God, that'll be our last round. So please make sure you're following us, Jess and Ducko, on the socials. A lot of action. A lot of action happens on there. Yep. But right now you have a chance to get involved in the show.

Speaking of action, we are drawing our call of fame at the end of today's show. It is a $500 Emco Beauty Glam Pack. Perfect for you. Perfect to spoil a loved one this Christmas, maybe. Just get involved now, 131060. Talking bed injuries. Okay, 131060, injuries in bed.

Bed injuries. And get your minds out of the gutter. Don't you go there. Because this is about golf. This is about golf. This is about Minwoo Lee, one of Australia's best golfers. Olympian golfer. Olympian golfer. Yeah, he played in the Olympics just recently. Because this is about golf. This is about golf. This is about Minwoo Lee, one of Australia's best golfers. Olympian golfer. Olympian golfer?

Yeah, he played in the Olympics just recently. Did he medal? No. He actually had a bad round. But you know what? He got to the Olympics. Hey, he was in the Olympics. That's an elite pool.

He got the ring tattoos on him. Why not? Now, Minwoo Lee, the Australian PGA Tour is on right now. The title's on right now in Melbourne, okay? Okay. Is that international to everyone? Yeah, everyone can come in and do it. The Aussies obviously want to win it, but internationals come in, yada, yada.

Min Woo Lee really wants to win this. It's in Melbourne. Redemption from the Olympics. Redemption. He had a tournament in Brisbane last week, which is like lead-up tournaments to it, right? In that tournament, he sublaxed his knee. Now, a sublaxation is where a joint dislocates. It comes out and then goes straight back in.

That's what I did to Angus's thumb during labour. So it doesn't stay out. Which is dislocate. Yes. Sublax, it just goes in and out. So it sort of stretches everything. Which is not good. No, it's not fine.

It's not good particularly for a professional athlete. And how's this? He did it to his knee, rolling over in bed. So I don't want to bring ageism into this, Ducco. How old's Minwoo Lee? 26. He's 26woo Lee? 26. He's 26. Pardon?

He's 26 years old. It's giving that is an elderly injury where everything starts breaking down. Breaking down. He rolled over in bed. This is a professional athlete. Rolled over in bed, sublaxed his knee, got up the next day, was swollen as he couldn't walk. Oh, my God.

And then he said it's affecting him now because he can't bend down on his haunches to read his putts on the green. What does that mean? As in like to really get on the ball's level? Yeah, and to see what the green. So he can't do that because he sublax bend down on his haunches to read his putts on the green. So he can't squat. What does that mean? As in like to really get on the ball's level? Yeah, and to see what the green. So he can't do that because he sublaxed his knee in bed. Can your caddy do that for you? Or no?

Your caddy can, yeah, yeah. But I mean, you want to give it your own read. Absolutely. This is high golf drama. This is about as high stakes as we get in this game. Do we believe Minwoo Lee? Well, I don't know if Minwoo Lee's a little horndog. I don't know what he's done.

I was going to say, you're not rolling over at 26. That's your prime physical state, isn't it? Exactly. And he's an elite athlete. I mean, he's a golfer, but he's an elite athlete. But the issue is obviously not focusing on his knee health, you know? He must have weak knees. He must have weak knees.

I've had a mate, so 13, 10, 6, 3, bed injuries. What happened in bed? I have a mate who dislocated his shoulder in bed. What was he doing? No. He mate who dislocated his shoulder in bed. What was he doing? No. He had a bad. You said no dirt.

Sorry. But if you have one, you can call in. He had a bad shoulder anyway. He dislocated or subluxed it before. And he was cuddling his partner, big spooning. Oh, no. Every boy knows that's the most uncomfortable position. You lose your arm anyway. And it slid out while he was asleep and she was lying on it.

It slid out from him and he woke up to her lying on his arm and his shoulder out of place underneath him. Horrific. That's when he had to get surgery. Horrific. Horrible. And that's why you want it to be a better story. You know what I mean?

Not just rolling over or, God forbid, cuddling your loved one. I know. Spooning. I was big spoon. I did my shoulder. Because you know what? Where do you run to when the monsters are in the cupboard? Into bed.

But if you can't even be safe in bed, where can you be safe? We go to Kate. You don't run to the bed. We go to Kate on 13th and 16th. You turn the lights off and you have to run quickly so the monsters. Oh, the monsters. No? All right.

Kate. Kate. Kate, we're talking bed injuries. What have you got for us? I have also subluxed my knee rolling over in bed. Okay. So are you Minwoo Lee? How do you do this? Well, I have a connective tissue disorder,

so my knee subluxes all the time. So have you done this, you know, innocuously in the past, just walking or sitting down, or does it happen in really, really normal situations? Yep, absolutely. I have shifted my weight and it's subluxed. What do you mean? Just standing there shifting your weight from foot to foot?

Oh, there goes the knee. There goes the knee. Oh, that's horrible. That's not fun. That's not fun. Do you wake up when you do it in the middle of the night? It's usually, yeah, you do wake up because it's not pleasant. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've slept back to my shoulder plenty of times. The other day I did it trying to put the washing out, and I was going to put the washing out, and I went to step. You will make any excuse not to do the washing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I hate the clothes on. Reaching up in that position with pegs, it's a dangerous time for me.

Oh, my God. So it happens. It happens. Just rolling over. There you go. Kate's backed up Minwoo Lee. Yeah. I believe him now.

But 13, 10, 60. Yeah. How have you injured yourself in bed? Yeah. And get your minds out of the gutter. But if it's a good injury, we'll take it. But if that's how it happens, that's how it happens. That's how it happens.

We'll take it. We'll get you on there. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. And we're talking about injuring yourself in bed. In bed. And it's not what you think. And get your minds out of the gutter.

This is a golf story. This is a golf story. This is a golf story. Remember Lee, Australian golfer, Olympic golfer. He's obviously in the Aussie PGA right now. Competing in Melbourne. Obviously, everyone knows that. Champion. 26 years old.

26 years of age. And he's doing really well. I mean, he's a great player. But unfortunately, last week when he was in bed competing in Brisbane, leading up to this major tournament, he rolled over in bed and subluxed his knee, popping it in and out of place. And now he can't bend over to read his putts on the green.

His chances are ruined, obviously. That's where I'm taking this. Really, it's not great. And I thought he's made that up. Yeah. Like he's done something stranger. How do you just get injured rolling over? And he's going with that.

But we just heard from Kate. She goes, no, I do it all the time. Yeah, she's done it in bed. It's unfortunate. Bree has called through on 131060. Good morning, Bree. Good morning. Your daughter's injured herself.

Yeah. So it happened two years ago now, but she's now 15. She just rolled over in bed and screamed out to me and said, my stomach hurts. And so I gave her a heat pack and Panadol and said, I thought it was that time of month. I said said you'll be right um went back to bed but then she was screaming out about maybe half an hour an hour

later and said it got worse um so I called my husband and he come in with me um because she couldn't move so we got her up and threw her in the car and off we went to hospital um within an hour and a half of being there they come come rushing into us and said that something's wrong, the blood markers are up and we need to rush her in for an ultrasound, did that and her ovary had twisted. What? By rolling over in bed, she twisted her ovary? Yeah.

So there was a cyst on it that we didn't realise as well. But yeah, just that simple turnover onto her side twisted it. So within probably two and a half hours of her being in hospital, she was upstairs getting operated on. Oh my goodness. Wow, that's wild. An internal ovary twist by rolling over. A sublux knee, that feels like child's play compared to what Bree's daughter's done.

How weird is that? Well, only last year too, she right over again, dislocated her knee in bed. Oh my gosh, she's on the knee too? You need to put her in like a sleeping coffin or something where she can't roll over. I know. Yeah, pillow shim. Yeah, tube or something.

Yeah, well she ended up getting operation on that too and got a donor hamstring to tighten all that back up because after that it kept dislocating. Oh, my goodness. She's the unluckiest person ever. So you can get injured in your sleep. See, bed is usually a sanctuary. I bet she's scared to go to sleep.

After a long day, where do you want to go? Straight to bed. Oh, my goodness. Bree's daughter's going, I'm staying up. I'm going to think twice tonight before rolling over. I'm terrified. Yeah, don't twist those ovaries. Oh, my God.

Michelle, yeah, you be careful there. Michelle, hello. Hello. Don't tell me it's your daughter as well who's injured herself in bed. It was, but it was self-inflicted. Okay, okay. She was probably about four. Do you know the captain's bed you get?

They've got the desks under it, and they're a little bit higher than a normal bed, like shoulder height. Yeah, a bit of fun. Yeah. So I heard her screaming one night, and I went in, and she'd been practicing gymnastics on the bed, like shoulder height. Yeah, a bit of fun. Yeah. So I heard her screaming one night and I went in and she'd been practicing gymnastics on the bed and she'd been flipping around and she did a flip and ended up cracking her back across the end of the bed onto the rail and falling onto the floor. She had a massive bruise across her back for weeks. And she didn't break anything though?

I mean, she didn't break the spine? No, she was fine. She was four years old. She was resilient. And what did you say to her? This teaches you twice for flipping on your bed. Well, she didn't break the spine. No, she's fine. She's four years old. She's resilient. And what did you say to her? This teaches you twice for flipping on your bed. Well, she kept doing it. So it didn't teach her anything.

Mate, you've got to get back on the horse, Ducco. That's a real take out. She's resilient, that little one. Some people are rolling over and twisting ovaries. She's doing double back flips on the bed. She's like, I'm trying to twist up. I know you've had a lot of experience with various people coming in and looking after your sweet angel fur baby, Pam Ducko,

and I need some advice because I've encountered a scenario I haven't yet before, getting a dog sitter this weekend. My husband and I are off for a wedding. We're having a bit of a weekend away, you know, to fully immerse and engage. Make the most of it. Make the most of it, but that obviously means doggy has to stay home. So we've got a very kind friend who has said, I'm happy to stay over.

I'll stay in his domain, you know, so he's in his comfort zone. So it's a friend, not an actual dog sitter, not someone you're paying. Not someone we're paying in gratitude. Obviously. And Angus has left her bolognese so she can, you know, be looked after for dinner. There you go. And we said, you use all the Pecorino, Parmesan, everything.

Can she have access to your gigantic wine fridge? She can go into the cheap one, but not the fancy one. Either way, a wine fridge is a wine fridge. A wine fridge is a wine fridge. Great attitude. Don't you be touching the small wine fridge, though. That's the fancy bottle. Good to know.

That's what my husband bids on eBay for, and then they come and they're all corked. And I'm like, why did you spend so much frickin' money on this? He's like, it's 92 vintage. I'm like, yeah. And it's ruined. When are we going to eat it? Eat it, drink it. When are we going to enjoy it?

Yeah. Anyway. So we have said, our home is your home. Thank you for doing this for us. Yeah. We loved the idea. This was our idea. She has a dog herself.

And we said, why don't you bring Charlie? And it'll be like a doggy play date for the whole weekend. Oh, yeah. How wonderful. She was like, are you sure? Very, very conscientious. Are you sure? You know, he's a rambunctious young boy.

What's Charlie? Charlie is a lab cross kelpie. A lot of energy. Food and energy. But the boys get along really well. We thought, well, we don't want you to leave your dog at home just to come look after our dog. It does feel weird. It's fine. I'm really of the belief everything can be fixed. Whatever. It's fine. But this is where it got

interesting because she said, yep, thank you so much, but I will make Charlie sleep outside. And I was like, what? You can't do that because Gianni is an inside dog. Yeah, he might be a 46 kilo. Just dropped that. Hot weight down. You can't do that because Gianni is an inside dog. Yeah, he might be a 46 kilo. Just dropped that. Wait, don't. You can't play that anymore, brother. He lost 12 kilos. He's looking normal.

He might be a big boy, but he's very much an inside dog. He can sleep on the couch if he wishes. He can sleep on one of his two dog beds. Hey, when Angus isn't there, he slept on the bed with me last night. When he drops, you feel the vibration. I'm like, oh, Gianni's gone to bed. Once he's in position, if he is on the bed, the doona's locked in. So you better be in first because he's locking in.

That's what my husband hates when he's on the bed because he goes, I can't move now because you can't move him. But Taylor's saying, oh, no, no, Charlie will sleep outside. That's so mean. It feels odd. When one dog's inside, the other dog can't be outside. It'd be so sad and depressing for the outside dog i think so too he's just going to be staring being like i know it's your kingdom

but this is this feels very normally outside dog well she goes he'll be fine she wasn't telling us he'll be fine i reckon he sleeps inside okay her concern was labrador what are they known for shedding shedding she goes he makes so much mess though. I see. But I went, but we're going to keep him outside for the whole weekend. Surely he'll be in and out and that's fine. She goes, no, no, I don't want to make a mess. I'm like, sis, that's why vacuums were invented. That's why we got the Dyson Animal V11.

She goes, I don't want to make you vacuum. I'm like, no, no, you'll be vacuuming. Hang on, I'll stop you there. This is where it gets interesting. When I have friends that come over and look after Pam, right, they, like, won't pick up her poos in the yard because they're not a dog sitter. They're just doing us a favour. So, like, little things like that, they won't do.

Are they dog people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, they'll take Pam out and do whatever, but they just leave the sort of dog poos and you're like, well, fair enough. Oh, see, no, I think that's – no, you're on dog duty. Oh. That's part of dog duty. Well, I'm like, you're coming to our house for a night or two and staying

and looking after our dog. Do you pay your dog sitter? You pay them. No, I'm talking friends you're coming to our house for a night or two and staying and looking after our dog. Do you pay your dogs? You pay them. No, I'm talking friends. Oh, we went friends do it. Oh, you pay them in gratitude. If I'm paying them, they're doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, righto. But they're going, I ain't getting paid for this. I ain't touching dog poo. So it's like a similar thing, right? It is. Okay. Maybe she's like, I don't want to have to clean your house. But if she's bringing her dog, she's going to clean up after her dog, though.

Totally. Well, that'll be interesting. Will she leave Gianni's poos, but pick up Charlie's poos? Now, this is all very... Can you tell the difference, though? Oh, bro. Her dog is maybe 15 kilos. Right. I have a 46. Yeah, you'll be able to tell.

Gianni poos the size of Charlie, so I'll be able to tell. You'll be able to spot that. But it was funny. She was like, no, I don't want to make you have to clean up after him. I went, no, you'll be cleaning up after him. Yeah, you'll be doing that. But let him sleep inside. It's an interesting predicament.

Okay. You've got someone in your home. I'm like, while they're here, you do you. You've got cameras in your house. You can just check. She doesn't know that. You can just check on it. She doesn't know.

The red lights in the corner will come on. It is hard to avoid those. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know. It's like your big brother's house, that. How you going to Jess and Agus' house? They're always watching. You better make sure that dog gets a lot of cuddles, a lot of love because I'll be watching. Keep us updated.

I will. Keep us updated. Tell you how clean she leaves the house. Good morning, Taylor. I know you're listening. If you come home and she hasn't cleaned up, you're like, how dare she? Never again. Actually, I ate Agus' bolognese. How dare she? Jess and Duc, eight Angus's ball and eight. How dare she?

Jess and Ducco. Look at the time, everyone. Oh, my God. That's Alpha Bucks time. It's Alpha Bucks time for sure. We have not had a good run with Alpha Bucks of late. Now, what was the best we did the other day? Eight? Eight, I think it was an eight.

Which eight is a great score. But you walk away with just a minor prize. We have a high standard here, though, at Jess and Ducco HQ. That's right. A high standard is 10 or nothing. Do you know what I'd like? And I know you're not going to have this information on hand, shy guy. How many winners have we had in 2024?

I reckon I could count it on two hands. 10 grand or for one? Both. I'd take both. Yeah, let's go both. Let's just go combined winners. How many people have got 10? I reckon we've had eight. Yeah, that feels good.

I don't reckon it's over 10. No. I don't reckon it's over 10. No, I don't think it's over 10. And there was that week I think we gave away a 10 and a 1. Yeah, that's right. Do you remember that? In the same pair. The woman who wanted to build a toilet wall closer to the toilet so she could get the toilet paper easier.

She sent us the video of that. And then I think the next day we had a 1K-er pay off the fines. Pay off the fines. But other than that and a couple of other people. Oh, he's doing quick maths. He's still counting for us. So with one day and one week left to go of Alpha Bucks, that's not many opportunities, but that's enough.

It's enough to get involved and to do it. Because as of next Friday, we're in professional development until next year. That's right. We'll be workshopping. I'll be workshopping how I ask questions. You'll be workshopping how swiftly and smoothly you can get through the rules. Yes. Score it.

I think we've had eight. Bang on. Bang on. That's not enough for a whole year. It's not enough. Babs, what are you? It's Babs' fault. Who are you putting through?

Oh, no, you're not coming to air. Wait, why is it my fault? Because who is the last line of defence for putting people through? Hey, it's not my fault if they're dumb. Wow. You get to talk to these people now, Babs. Wasn't Babs so polite at the start of the year? I think we've ruined Babs.

Now she's calling the cook his dumb. What America did to Justin Bieber when he left Canada and turned him into a rat bag. That's what we've done with Babs. We've done that to Babs. Babs' family, actually Babs' mum and dad followed me on Instagram yesterday. I shot the joint account. And I followed them back and I was getting some great intel on Babs. See, I followed her housemates for the same intel and I got nothing from them.

I sent Babs a few pictures of her, you know, from her mum's Instagram account. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, I really enjoyed that yesterday. Ask Simone. Yeah, Simone. Have we ruined her daughter? Have we ruined your sweet angel? Because Simone did great work for 22 years,

and then we get our hands on Babs, and she becomes a sassy little rude pottyhead. She's corrupt and crazy. She's a sassy little rude pottyhead. And you should hear the stuff that doesn't go to air. I know. Even the stuff that does. Just a little thrush.

You know, she just goes. No one asked her to do that. No one asked. She just does things. Well, you did ask me to do that. All right, can you calm down? I'm not dumb. All right, dads, we get it, okay?

Get your little pudgy out and relax. Get my little pudgy out. All right. Okay, you've told us. Goodness. How do you solve a bout of gonorrhea? How do you stop an STI that's gone too far? Are you guys enjoying yourself?

Don't talk over yourself. Don't talk over you. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. Yep. Giddy up. It's Friday. Let's do it.

30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course, we come back to you if there is time. Stepping up today. The choice is yours.

We go to Lily. Good morning, Lily. Good morning, guys. How are you? Oh, Lily. Living the dream, Lily. Look, we're fantastic, but we'd like to be a little bit better. And the only way we're going to be a little bit better is if you take some money off our hand.

I would love to. Hopefully, I'm number nine. Oh, good. Lily was listening. Lily was listening. Now, Lily, were you offended by Babs when she was calling, you know, people like you dumb? No, she has a reason behind it. To be fair, we just worked out, Shai got a quick maths.

We only had eight winners in 2024. Yeah, it's not many. It's not many. It's not many, if any. Yeah, well, it's eight. I'm hoping, I'm nervous, but I'm ready. And the question is, you're going to play for 10 grand, the grown-ups quiz?

Yeah, I'm going for the grown-ups. Oh, Lily, I like Liz's confidence. As do I. She's like, I'm not dumb. I'm not dumb, I'm going for the grown-ups. Oh, Lily. I like Liz's confidence. As do I. She's like, I'm not dumb. I'm not dumb. I'm going to prove Babs wrong. Yeah. Lily's going to take a $100 note out of the pile and throw it in Babs' face.

Throw it at Babs, yeah. And then say, give it back. That's my money. I was going to say, $100, yes please. Yeah, see, that's actually pretty enticing for Babs. Yeah, I don't think Lily would do that. You know what? Why can Lily not dumb?

Yeah, Lily not dumb. She's not dumb. One thing stands between you and a $10,000 payday, Lily. It is the letter G. G for great, which is what we need you to be to win Alpha Bucks, okay? Okie dokie. Okay. Let's do it.

Come on, Lily. Could this be number nine? I feel like it could be. Your time will start after the first question, Lily. Let's go. Starting with the letter G, we need you to name an accessory. A type of cheese. A video game.

A band. A clothing shop. A car part. An instrument. A zoo animal. A lolly. Car part. Gear stick. An instrument. Pass. A zoo animal. Griller. A lolly.

Gummy bear. An Italian dish. Pass. An accessory. Pass. We got ourselves six. Some good gets in there too. An accessory could have been glasses or goggles.

A band. There's plenty. Guns N' Roses, Green Day, Goo Goo Dolls, Grinspoon. An instrument could have been guitar. I saw the guitar straight away as soon as I went past. It's funny because I think band, instrument, and then Italian dish, knock you with three of the easier ones on there, and then some of the harder ones you nailed.

She nailed. So it's where the brain goes. You don't go empty-handed. $100 to spend at Active Truth. That is all yours. Okay, Lily? Thank you guys so much. Have a great day.

Thank you, Lily. Thank you. Great to hear from you. Great to have you playing. But again, we look to Babs. Why didn't you put someone who was going to win through? Why are they not winning, Babs? Let them win.

I'm not going to open my mouth because I'm going to say something. Did people call through and were they offended with you, with what you had said before? There was a few comments made. Oh, ducko. Yeah. Babs is playing next week. Babs?

Do you want to get her to play? Not for real. But let's see. Okay. Let's put her to the question test. Questions or kids' questions? Babs does the questions. Oh. Fair. That's put her to the question test. Grown-up questions or kids' questions? Babs does the questions. Oh.

Fair. That's not good. You're not putting me across. I take that as a bonus at the end of the year. We'll do a question sheet on the Babs. Let's do a question sheet. And she can just play one 10K up. Yeah.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's maybe just a bit of fun. A bit of fun. What's the old tech you're still rolling with? And you might be thinking, well, digicams are coming back. I swear people are now using the handheld cameras. They are. The steady cam, the handy cams.

Yes, I'm seeing them even at more weddings now because people like that on-film look and it's all sort of grainy. And you can put it straight to your phone now, which is you don't have to chuck it into the computer or like into the, yeah. Yeah, you don't have to go to Kodak, which don you don't have to chuck it into the computer or like into the, yeah. Yeah. You don't have to go to Kodak, which don't exist anymore to get all that stuff done. Yeah. But what old tech are you still using?

Shy Guy did throw out one of the great questions. Yeah. Does anyone still have a Nokia 3310? Yeah. Core 131060. On your Nokia. Yeah. The indestructible. Don't lie to us.

The indestructible phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're not going to believe this. The oldest tech I can think of is trending today. The floppy disk, Ducko. The floppy. Wasn't that the most useless of the old things? It was like a USB, I suppose.

Exactly. Back in the day. And it had that little silver thing you could slide left and right. What was with the silver thing? Did that delete it? Or did that, I don't know. I thought that protected the brains of the floppy disk. Yeah, maybe. But why would that?

That's like being able to remove your skull. Why would that be a removable, movable thing? I don't know. But can you take us to San Francisco, please? It'd be my pleasure. San Francisco, where's your disco? We've been a forgotten fryer banger. Hell yeah, Domi Dollar.

San Francisco, Domi Dollar. He's playing this weekend, actually. Is he? Yeah, he's in it. Do you reckon he'll play this? I hope so. Is he going to get two cents because we played this on the radio? That's not how it works.

We have to play it in full start to finish and not as a grab. Okay, maybe I'll put it on the next track. Well, we love you, Dom Dollar. And thank you for making a song so perfect for this conversation. We're in San Francisco because this story is unbelievable. The Municipal Transportation Agency, the SFMTA, of course, they have agreed. Yeah, we found the money in the budget, guys.

They've announced they're going to spend $212 million getting the light rail system. You know San Francisco, very famous for their trams. They're run-off floppy disks. In November 2024, the light rails in San Fran are still run-off floppy disks and they've decided, okay, this is the time. How can they still be run-off floppy disks? Bro, I don't know.

They started back in 1998. The five and quarter inch floppy disks is how it was all running from the Market Street subway station. When they come into the street, they need the floppy disks is how it was all running from the Market Street subway station. When they come into the street, they need the floppy disk to like run the show and they've never changed them. I guess they had the idea of if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Everyone's getting updates and they're just not.

They're just not. We've had 15 iPhones in that amount of time. Yeah, we have. But the San Fran Trans. There's a cloud now they could do things in. Surely, are they still not running on computers? What are they doing there? Because it's funny, we were talking about USBs and Shago goes,

who's still using USB? It's all in the cloud. It's all in the cloud. It's all wireless. No one has devices anymore because it's all in the cloud. It's all Bluetooth. Babs didn't even know what a floppy disk was. So, Babs, when you're on a Word document and you hit save,

have you ever noticed that little picture? The icon. That's a floppy disk. Oh. Because. Did you not know that little picture? The icon. That's a floppy disk. Oh. Because, did you not know that? Because that's what it was. You'd save it onto your floppy disk. Onto a physical thing called a floppy disk.

And then you have to bring it with you to your school class. Wasn't it one of the great misnomers? Because floppy disk, not floppy. It's as hard as all hell. It's a hard square of plastic. It should have been a stiff disk. But then that's, you know, it's tough to say. You don't want to slip that up. We've got CDs. Why can't we have SDs? I know. Maybe it's because you're STD. It's a hard square of plastic. It should have been a stiff disc, but then that's, you know, it's tough to say. You don't want to slip that up.

We've got CDs. Why can't we have SDs? I know. Maybe it's because you're STD. It's a whole thing. Also, Shannon has messaged in saying you can't use Nokia phones anymore because 3G got turned off. Oh, yeah, that only happened about,

we should have done this phone three weeks ago. Oh, damn. Was that just recent? Oh, the Nokia's like, damn, we would have called in. Hang on a minute. So all the Nokia people had to go get iPhones or, God forbid, Google Pixels? Yeah, or just a 4G SIM card or something.

So can you use a Nokia with that? The old phones weren't 4G. Oh, I feel bad for them. I reckon my dad's got one in his desk drawer still. Maybe somewhere sitting there. With an awful green. Remember the covers you would get? Yeah, yeah.

And it would have the button holes. Yeah, yeah. The skins. The skin covers, yep. But 131060, we want to know, are you still rolling with some old tech? Like the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency in 2024, still technically using floppy disks? We go to Greg.

Good morning, Greg. Hey, guys. How you going? Top of the world, Greg. Talking about floppy disks. What are you working with? So, Tim, I'm all right, lad. I use a walkman.

You use a walkman? No, you don't. With CDs? No, no, tape. Tape? Tape? You're thinking of a Discman, you ducker. I'm thinking of a Discman, yeah.

He's got the older version. Greg, have you got the walkman on you right now? Like, what's in your walkman at the moment? What tape? At the moment, I've got a K-Tail combination tape from 1980. It sounds like Greg's calling you off a Nokia. I won't lie to anyone. The phone line is not great, Greg.

But what I heard was a tape from the 1980s. Wow. Yeah, K-Tail. K-Tail. K-Tail. K-Tail. Oh, God, it keeps dropping out, Greg. I really want to know.

But that's amazing. He's got a Walkman 2. That's wild. You know how everyone's obviously moved to AirPods and stuff? Greg would have the bloody over-ear headphones wired in. Walkman in. Jeez. That's amazing.

13, 10, 60. What old tech are you still using? What old tech are you still working with? Hell yeah, he's got it on the radio. It's Don Dollar. San Fran. Disco. It's Friday, baby. San Francisco, where's got it on the radio. It's Don Dollar, San Fran Disco. It's Friday, baby.

San Francisco, where's your disco? Free-flapping Friday. Good morning. Don Dollar, San Fran Disco. It's hit breakfast. Because we're in San Francisco. Woo! We're raving.

Our boss just came in and didn't like it. He didn't like it. But, I mean, you know why? Because he's a big saving up Don Dollar, San Francisco. It's hit record. Because we're in San Francisco. Woo! We're raving. Our boss just came in and didn't like it. He didn't like it. But I mean, you know why? Because he's a big saving up Don Dollar fan. He does like saving up. We would have played that, but the story comes from San Francisco. So it makes freaking sense. What does he want us to play?

Save Me San Francisco by Train? I wouldn't have thought so. What a worst song. We're not getting that garbage on the radio. That's a horrible song. Oh, yes. And now Don Dollar gets his two cents because he played the full song. Yeah.

Just putting money in, you know, artist's mouths. We're in San Fran because this year, in November of 2024, we're talking about floppy disks. They are going to pay $212 million to end the reliance of the Municipal Transportation Agency. These are the guys who literally keep the very famous San Fran trams running and operational. It's all run off the five quarter inch floppy disk. I can't believe that.

I can't believe it's taken this long to find some money in the budget. If they don't know if they have many issues there with the trams, maybe they don't. And if they don't, is this a good insight into maybe we should all be running off the old floppy disk? Because what do we always say? Whenever anything breaks in modern day, my dad always says, oh, that I make stuff like they used to. That's it. Like the cloud, glitchy.

The floppy disk, granted, you could lose a floppy disk, but they are indestructible. Yeah, you'd always lose it. Like the Nokia 3310. Indestructible. I've still got my USB ads to rock up to, DJ club sets. Yeah, you want me to put mine in? I've got my mix on here. Mate.

You never know when you need it. If I wasn't such a sheep, I would still be rolling with the Motorola Razr. Yeah, yeah. I avoided the iPhone for so long. The Motorola Razr was such a bad phone. I had one too. I loved it. You could barely see the screen.

The flip. The flip element. It was a cool shape. It was a cool shape. By the actual phone itself? Horrible. I avoided the iPhone for so long. I was like, look at all you.

In year 12, I was like, no, we don't need it. Look how good this device is. Same as the floppy disk. Everything comes to an end. It does. But we want to know, what are you still rolling with? Before we get to that, though, Kirstie's called through. Good morning, Kirstie.

Hi, guys. You want to talk about floppy disks, babe? Yeah, because you guys seem so confused as to why they're called floppy. Yeah. Oh, yes. The ones that you're talking about that are hard to why they're called floppy. Yeah. Oh, yes. The ones that you're talking about that are hard are the three and a half inch. Yeah. Its predecessor, the five and a quarter inch, was actually really floppy, as well as its

pre-predecessor, the eight inch. Stop it. Okay, well, yes, five and a quarter is what the San Fran Municipal Transportation Agency are working with. So they actually were floppy. Yeah, yeah. You could, like, jiggle them and they'd make that whoopie sound. Kirsty, though, how did I put that?

Would it sort of stiffen up when I needed to insert it into the slot of the computer? Yeah, how did it go in if it was jelly? Oh, it very, very difficultly. It had to be very gentle. That's why they needed to unfloppy the floppy disk. But by then they already had a trademark on the name. Everyone was like, well, we can't call it something else.

Kirstie, why do you know so much about floppy disks? Because my mother was of the older generation by the time she had me, so she had a huge container of floppy disks, and whenever I wanted to play any of those 8-bit games, I'd have to insert, like, insert three of 15 to continue playing. I see. And you have to keep inserting them in. Multiple floppy disks.

What a throwback. Oh, wow. Thank you, Kirstie. Good to know. I feel empowered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is some fun trivia. Natasha, good morning.

Hey, morning. How are you? Yeah, excellent, babe. Are you rolling with some old tech still? Sure. Well, everyone's got the Thermomix and, you know, Yeah, excellent, babe. Are you rolling with some old tech still? Sure. Well, everyone's got the Thermomix and, you know, beautiful KitchenAid appliances or Kenwood.

I'm using the rotary egg beater to make my Swiss meringue frosting. Oh, my God. So you're literally with the little handle, wheeling it around. Yeah. Old school, man. Wow. And do you want to conform or do you like doing it that way? I'm just lazy.

I feel like it's more work, but she's too lazy to go shopping. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I think it's Black Friday today. There's probably a deal. The sale's everywhere. There's probably a deal. Amber on 131060, what old tech are you still using? I'm still using USBs. Are you, Amber?

So everyone's sort of talking about, oh, no, it's the cloud now. It's the cloud. But you're old school. Yeah, I prefer using USBs. Are you, Amber? So everyone's sort of talking about, oh, no, it's the cloud now. It's the cloud. But you're old school. Yeah, I prefer the USBs. I've got that many – like, I've got a lot of USBs. I've got that many documents on them. Like, I delete them, but, like, they go back on my computer. But if I need something printed out, I take it to my local Officeworks

and use my USBs. Wow. I mean, not to ask personal questions, but, like, what documents? Like, what do you need so many USBs for? You never know when you need a document printed. Exactly. But I've got like the CD case under my seat as well that I use in my car. Oh, my God.

See, that's the thing. Cars these days, newer models, don't even have the CD player. No, because it's all either Apple CarPlay. You can plug your phone in. Like the Orcs. Yeah. But also, you can still buy the 3310s now. They're just in the 5G model now.

Listen to you, Amber. Listen to you. We are learning so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good to know. Good to know. I will not conform to this modern era for no one, says Amber. Nah.

We got Alex on 131060. Alex, what old tech are you still using? Hey, guys. I still have my high school iPod Classic. Yeah, like if I put it close to my ear, I can hear like a fan trying to work. But I plug that thing in every now and then. I try and keep one of the charging cables. Like my husband used to work for Dick Smith,

so he's got a bit of a collection of all those old cables. Lucky. I definitely can't think anything to it. No, it's just got the same songs on it. It's had the same songs on it for a decade now. It does, yeah. Like, all the stuff from Line and Wire, like, lived on that thing.

So many viruses. So many corrupt files on that. Oh, yeah, it goes on like 80 gigs. So there's probably 4,000 songs of any time, like, I don't know, any time we would, like, have school dances and we'd go and do these girl things. It's like, oh, I've got a damn late Lady Gaga. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything had, like, three quarters of the song and then it would end with, you've just downloaded from EasyBeat. Yeah, yeah. Doot, doot. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. Because as we said, we've seen the resurgence of the Digicam.

As we've said, Nokia's now upgraded to 5G. Alex, you're onto some hot property. That's going to be worth something soon. I mean, yeah, I mean, it could be. I've seen them on eBay, but all of these people, like, of course, I'm being a millennial. I'm not throwing the box out. But, yeah, whether or not they want the library to go with it,

I can't say anyone's got the option to get it and use or wipe it. That's amazing. Imagine when 4,000 songs, remember that was so many. I know. Even like 800 songs on your Nano or whatever. And now we have Spotify in our back pocket with a billion songs. Yeah. Wow.

Love it. Don't conform. No, I can't do it. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Friday, it's good to be here, everyone. So good. It's like stepping into a warm bath.

It is. The perfect tent bath with the right amount of bubbles. Oh, yeah. So we can't see each other new, but we're still there. And the back pillow. Isn't that nice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit of comfort.

And the thing over the bath where you can put your iPad on it so you can wash stuff. Oh, the little tray table. The little tray table. I don't want to think about how perpetually damp the bath pillow always stays and what's growing inside it. Yeah. But we keep that out of our minds and we enjoy. And if we're bathing together, I'd probably weed in there.

But still. Hey, man. We're all friends here. We really are. We're all friends. We really are. Yeah. After seeing what your daughter did to her bath.

Hey, man. After seeing my birth picture, we can't get much closer. Yeah. What up? I can't wait to see Morgan's. And I know she'll be really keen for you to share that with other people. I can't wait to have Shy Guy in there just taking photos. I know, on his digicam.

On his digicam. Shy Guy, how's the photo? It's fine. It's fine. Morgan, you're making a face. Yeah! Hey, it's time for the diary. Here it is.

Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko. We started the week with some contention within the team regarding the budget for our Secret Santa presents. You've lit a fire under me, Ducko. Leave it with me. We'll be drawing names after the show and we will confirm the budget. Oh, yeah.

No, no, the budget is no more than $20. $20? $20. There's no point. It's going to be garbage. $30. $30. Stupid presents. Bit of fun. No, it's going to be garbage. $30. I don't... $30. Stupid presents.

Bit of fun. No, not stupid. It's going to end up in landfill if it's stupid. No, your Secret Santa and my Secret Santa are different. Anyway. We'll work out the semantics. Good, yeah, yeah. We'll do that.

But we will draw names after the show. Thank you for lighting that up. So should we make just money on it? Like, I don't know, something easy. $200. Yes. She wants everything. No, mate.

We're doing $30. I know what you earn. It's the same as you. I know. But I'd rather spend it elsewhere. Yeah, that's fair. Speaking of money, the guys have been trying to hype up the AppleBucks players before they take a shot at the $10,000. But I don't think it's been working.

They did this on Tuesday. Today, that choice is yours, Catherine. Good morning. Good morning. All right. She's ready to go. Yeah, she's switched into game mode. Be aggressive.

Be aggressive. Oh, Catherine's daughter would be very proud of you. I was trying to bring it on reference as well. I love that. Burn. It's cold in here. There must be a Catherine in the atmosphere. I said.

Hey, hey, hey. Ice, ice, ice. Break it down. That is just, where did that come from? That's deep. That's deep archives. Deep in your core. Have you seen that movie, Catherine?

No. Complete waste of time. Even though that one failed, it didn't stop the guys from giving it another crack on Thursday. The choice today is yours, Caleb Goodmorning. Hey, how's it going? Mate, we're fantastic. Caleb, what are you going to choose to play with?

The grown-ups' questions or the kids' questions? I always said if I get through, I'd go the grown-ups' questions. So we'll go for the 10K. He's got his big boy pants on. He wants to do it. He's not mucking around. He goes, I got one shot, one opportunity. Yeah.

Come on, Caleb. Are your knees weak, arms spaghetti? Arms are heavy. Are your arms heavy, legs spaghetti? Vomit on your sweater like mum's spaghetti. Okay. Are you feeling good, Caleb? Are you nervous on your surface?

You look calm and ready. Yeah, are you calm and ready? I'm calm now. When you idiots shut up, I'm calm and ready. Jess came across some stats from the ABS that showed how much food Aussies are consuming each year. And rather than just tell you the stats, we thought we'd turn it into a game,

which didn't exactly go to plan. How many chickens do you think the average Aussie eats in a year? 60? Should I go? 22. About 15? Mate, close without going over. It's 28. Really? All right. Fruit. I'm close without going over. It's 28.

Really? All right. Fruit. I'm going to say 30. A bit higher. Okay, 35. 50. Okay.

Two more for you quickly. Yeah, yeah. Sausages. How many sausages does the average Australian put away a year? Don't look it up, my guy. Are you cheating? No. Yes, you are.

We can actually see you. No, I'm not Googling it. Are you cheating? No, Babs. Yes, you are. We can actually see you cheating. Are you cheating for a game that is not requiring coins? You stopped asking me and Babs about playing. We just wrote, I guess we're not playing anymore. Listen, Ducco, when I first had to say, Babs, are you getting involved? I gave up. What did I do?

You didn't answer fast enough. How many sausages, Ducco? 35. Whoa! Hold the pot! Calm down! That's the energy I. How many sausages, Ducko? 35. Whoa! Hold the pot, calm down. That's the energy I need. Shout it out. Earlier in the week, Ducko told us about his niece having a tick on her head.

And we wanted to put it to you, Rice Cookers, to see where did you find the tick? And we were not expecting this from the Rice Cooker community. Where did you get a tick, Steve-O? I got a tick of a ball. Tick balls. Tick balls. Tick testing. Tick balls.

Talk us through it. There's a bit of a back story. I'm about 13. So I go to mum and there I am then. Red Eagle on my back. No. My mum's trying to pick a tick out of my balls. No. What a bonding moment. No.

Well, mum's eyesight's not very good at the best of times, so she's squinting. She's up in there real close. Where is it? I can feel her hot breath good at the best of times. So she's squinting. She's up in there real close. Where is it? I can feel her hot breath. Right at the bottom of the back of my ball. Did she get it? Was she able to get it?

She did. She got it. She had about ten minutes to spare it, but she got it. Good morning, Nath. Yeah, young. Yeah, pretty good. Where did you get a tick, brother? My old lady had a torch digging him out of my bum hole.

Sorry, did you say them? Plural. Plural. Yeah, there was many of them. What? They were in the eye of my mini-mate. What? They were in the date of the storm.

How many? How long were you under the tree that the whole tribe of ticks has had time to get in there? It was a lime tree. You were in there for a while. I climbed under hands and knees, obviously, got the fucking ball out. You had to get in. Were you naked? Were you just presenting to these ticks? I don't know what happened, mate. She took 35 at the minute.

Oh, shut up! No way! Well, that's it for this week. And remember, we might only have one more week before we go on professional development. I'm here to ensure you that we haven't phoned it in just yet. Or have we? Should we do a quick round of clicks? Who's got the best click in the team?

Okay. Yeah, go for it. Who wants to click first? You go, Ducker. Do you want one finger? I think a single click. That's fine. Okay.

Crisp. Thank you. This is me. Ooh, Crisp. Do you want one finger? I think a single click. That's fine. Okay. Crisp. Thank you. This is me. Ooh, Crisp. Thank you. Shy Guy. That felt a bit muted to me. Yeah, a bit muted.

Babs. It sounds like you've got felt pads. Yeah, yeah. All right, Babs. All right. Ooh. Babs' mic is different. Yeah, it's very different.

It's hard to tell. Anyway, you can tell I'm hearing it in here. Just so I can better the show, yeah? Shy Guy's like, her mic's different. That's cheating. I want to re-click. Yeah, just because you suck. You're on a Timu mic, and we're on like $800 mic.

Yeah, but hers is still better than yours. I think hers was better. Womp, womp. Let's go. See you next week, Rice Cookers. Jess and Ducko. Call us in. Call us in. Call us in. Oh my God.

We have never had a longer shortlist. Yeah. Babs came in and said, I've basically starred everyone who's gotten involved this week. It was amazing. There were so many good contributions. So many honourable mentions. The woman who said,

my granddad robbed a bank and absconded to New Zealand and started another family. Forgot about that. That was Monday. What? That was Monday. The chick who fell on a bin on her first day and cut her butt open

and had to get the guy on the bakery to stitch her up. Oh, that was unbelievable. The shredder. Oh, finger shredder, flat finger. And open up to the finger phone topic. Oh, my God. But just yesterday we were discussing on 131060, off the back of my sister's kids going on a bushwalk

and getting their first tick. Where did you get a tick? Did you get a tick? Where did you get a tick? And, my God, honourable mention to every single person who opened up who shared where they got one and how many. My God, the guy with 35 in his doot. He's like, yeah, well, still speculation.

I still think he's just bending over going, hello, tickies. Because at what point do you go, have I got them all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? At least one and done. But once you get up to your 20s and 30s, you go, what if I've missed two or three? Yeah. I am now part tick.

Anyway, Christine got in touch and she said, my brother got a tick and I had to get involved. It had buried in underneath his nuts. So no one else wanted to touch them. So I had to actually lift them up, last thing you want to do, and try and dig this chick out. How old are you, Halty? He's 22 at the time. But it was, like, right underneath them,

so I had to actually touch them. I had to lift them up to try and get it out. Did you have any success? And it had been there so long, it looked like he had three knots instead of two. Because they swell after they start sucking your blood. Yeah, I just love the fact that the 22-year-old siblings are just looking. She's just looking balls deep. Just going, come on.

And the rest of the family were there. I know. They didn't want to help. No one else wanted to help. So, Christine, from us to you, and I guess in part from your brother, as a thank you for your service. And your brother's berries. And your brother's berries.

You've won the call of fame. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. If anyone deserves some mascara, it's Christine. It's you. You deserve it. You deserve it.

No mascara is ever going to bring back what you saw. Oh, no. And it's something you're never going to get over. But the fact that when we got to the hospital and we had to tell the story to the nurses, the smirks on their face when they looked at me, I was like, oh my god, this is so embarrassing.

That I actually had to touch them and lift them up and no one, everyone just stood around and watched. Mate, you're a good sister. It is. You're a good sister. Truly, I've laughed a lot on this program this year, but I was in hysterics. And that was off the-

I was just picturing like if that was me and my sister, I was like, I don't think I'd ever come back from that. 100%. And that was off the back of that bloke. I think that's the last pair of knots I'm ever going to top. My God, you're the gift that keeps them. Thank you for Christine to the other side. She's like, oh, no more of these.

I've seen what these are like. How do you guys walk around with these things? Christine, you know what we should have done? Got Christine's brother on so he could have worn her the clothes. I just can't. Yeah, I just can't look him in the eye anymore. Did you tell him that you spoke about it on the radio with us? No, I haven't, but I will.

Tell him. What's his name? Andrew. Got it, Andrew. about it on the radio with us? No, I haven't, but I will. Tell him. Please do. What's his name? What's his name? Andrew. Andrew. Babs, when you send Christine's glam pack out, make sure you write from Jess and Ducko and Andrew.

And Andrew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks, Christine. Thank you so much, guys. I love your show. I listen every day. You're the best. Thanks, Christine.

Appreciate you. Thanks for being honest with that story. That was fantastic. I love it. I love it. Hey, that's another week done from us here at Jess and Ducker HQ. We're back on Monday. Of course, it's our last week of shows.

It is our last week of shows. Our call of fame next week. What have we got? It's $1,000 cash. Bang! It is $1,000 cash. So it's your last opportunity to get involved. We're actually going to have a look back at some of our favourite call of famers.

Yep. But get involved. There's still Alpha Bucks obviously happening. We've only had eight winners in 2024. We've worked out, so we would like to... So I got dips as well, 25k worth. Oh, my God, our last round of that. We've got to clear out the bloody prize cupboard of fridge magnets.

Yes. Yes. So many of those. Vintage fridge magnets. But a lot of fun to be had. Hey, I've got a wedding this afternoon. You've got to go. I've got to go.

You'll celebrate. Print out some documents. Good luck marrying them. Thank you very Hey, I've got a wedding this afternoon. You've got to go. I've got to go. You're a celebrant. Print out some documents. Good luck marrying them. Thank you very much. I've got a Christmas party to get to. Babs Shargar and me are going to the Christmas party. I know you're going to represent us well. Yeah, thank you.

Very cool. Are we rolling in the beetle, Babs? She's talking to Christine. Oh, sorry. I was going to say. It's Britney, bitch. That's how we're rolling. I thought I was picking you up.

Oh, you are picking me up. Sorry. We're rolling Shargar's Mazda. Never mind. We're out of here. The cleanest Mazda on planet Earth. We'll see you by rolling. I thought I was picking you up. Oh, you are picking me up. Sorry. We're rolling. Shotguns, Mazda. Never mind. We're out of here. The cleanest Mazda on planet Earth. We'll see you by day. Bye-bye.

Bye. When do the Wiggles get M-rated? He is a Wiggle. My kids shan't be growing up on them. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Gather your little helpers because the elf on the shelf Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's.