Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | In the words of Sabrina Carpenter...

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Ellie Angel-Mobbs joins us for Endometriosis awareness month, she's got a special airing this weekend on Hit. Jess helped an old man play dead at the beach, we talk weird body parts and Producer Shy Guy wraps up the week in his diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Surprise Fries is back at Macca's, with a one in three chance to win millions of prizes. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo Podcast. Welcome to the podcast everyone. Great Friday show. You're very good. But I'm very excited. I'm starting to salivate. Shy Guy's just walked in with one of my favourite things in the world. Yeah, well Shy Guy and Babs came up with this idea.

Because you love delis. You're the queen of deli meats, but you refuse to go to Woolies and Coles. In fact, the other day you told us this. No one at the deli counter takes a counter. You just roll into the deli. Are you joking? You never take a counter. You go to the delis I go to, you get the counters off. Well, you go to the Woolies once.

I have the deli tickets there. You just stand there. No one takes one anymore. No disrespect. And if you do take one, they don't even read it. No disrespect. I do my shops at Woolies. Oh, yeah.

I do not buy from those delis. Must be nice. Must be nice. I don't. They don't even read it. No disrespect. I do my shops at Woolies. Oh, yeah. I do not buy from those delis. Must be nice. Must be nice. I don't. How do the other half live, though, Shy Guy? The salami that's already... I need my salami cut fresh. I don't want salami that's been sitting there cut for how...

I don't know how long. So Shy Guy sent a group email yesterday and said, Hey, this could be fun for a Friday. Put your salami where your mouth is. Yes. You reckon you can pick packaged salami from deli salami. Is that the premise here? That's the idea here.

So you've gone into the refrigerated section and pulled out a packet and also gone to a deli and got it cut. Correct. Okay. Here we go. So now we want to see if you can tell the difference. Now, it's funny. I thought you'd blindfold me.

I should have blindfolded you. Because. Oh, you can see the difference. Well, they are slightly. Show me. One looks like maybe a casalinga and one looks like maybe a suppressor. Yeah, I just thought it was all salami. My issue is with the difference of prepackaged and freshly cut.

Freshly cut is usually much thinner. Having said that, both of these have similar thickness. Yeah, they do. So you've thrown me there. Okay. Let's have a little taste. Okay, here we go. So you're going to taste one.

She's tasting one now. I'm tasting one now. Yep. My issue is I just love salami so much. So I'm really enjoying that. We want to see if you can taste the difference. So one is from Woolworthshire, guys? Correct.

And one is from a nice deli? Correct. Okay. Okay, she's now tasting the other one. Oh, that's definite. I'm not even going to swallow that. Oh. That is the packaged.

Can you pass me both? No. I just want to see if I can taste any difference. I want to see if I... Because I don't really like salami. You don't really like salami. It's very pungent. Yeah, and it just smells like feet.

Oh, sis, you stinky boy. Bringing bananas and Vegemite. Okay, so I've just eaten what you think is a Woolies one. Correct. Okay. And I think the other one is the... What are we talking, like a bespoke deli situation? Yeah, just like a deli at the shops.

It's nothing. Okay. They just taste the same to me. Do they? Yeah. Well, the question is, and this could be very embarrassing for me, was I correct? So the one with the yellow plate.

Yes. Was the deli. Wow. So you picked the primo from the fridge aisle at Woolworths. Oh, there you go. I didn't like that. The $10 hon special. I didn't like that at all. There's about another dozen slices in the fridge.

I didn't like that at all. Because you were like, I'm not having any more of this. As soon as I chewed it, it felt rubbery to me, which suggested to me it had been sitting in plastic. There you go. I know nothing. Oh, that's so funny. This is like the people at the wine events where they go,

yes, I need the $300 bottle, but the LD $8 bottle wins. So I couldn't taste the difference between either of them. No, that was really yummy, actually. That was actually fine to me. I don't really like slimy at night. Sorry to nitpick. This was not freshly cut, though. It was freshly cut yesterday.

That was freshly cut? Yeah. Wow, you've absolutely blown my mind. I can't remember the name. It was just at the shopping centre. Wow. Well, there you go. I take it all back.

Yeah. Buy from the aisle. It doesn't matter. That's so funny that you got that wrong. You were so confident. I was like, oh, she's nailed it. I was so confident. Because from the aisle. Oh, that is. Doesn't matter. That's so funny that you got that wrong. You were so confident. I was like, oh, she's nailed it. I was so confident. Because look at that.

It even has the shine of it's been in plastic. I know. Well, there you go. See, now just buy from Woolies, man. Buy from Woolies. Save yourself a couple bucks. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to Friday, baby.

Giddy the hell up. Giddy up. That's right. We're all here. we're all feeling fat. Oh yeah. You came in with gifts for the team. I did. Specifically one member of the team.

I gave Babs a nice individual decanter, which she liked. For one glass of wine for a Friday evening. This is a hell of a thing. She's a fancy bitch. I'm not sure if she appreciated it. Well, considering she said you're cleaning out your cupboard? I don't think she did at all. $100 I spent on this gift, and that's what she asks me. I mean, you really leveled up.

Yesterday I gave you a mustache comb because I saw it on Amazon, and I just went, add to cart. My brother needs a little mustache comb. I was going to do it all yesterday. That was only $23. Here you are bringing in $100 gifts. I know. And we get questioned whether you're just doing a spring clean

before baby arrives. I know. Babsy, Babsy, Babsy. This is not the culture we want to foster at JDHQ. Well, you did call me a grandma pirate this morning. I was waiting to get to that. I didn't actually mean it as an insult. I was waiting to get to that.

Arr. I appreciate on paper the combination of grandma and pirate. Yeah, not great. Is maybe not great. I truly just meant it. Arr. That. Yeah, not great. Is maybe not great. I truly just meant it. That you're rocking a look. Babsy-er. It's like you're taking over, what are we, we're landing in the Caribbean.

Yeah. And she's going to pillage. Babs has a new shirt on. She has a new shirt on. And Jess goes, oh my God, is this that new shirt that you said you bought? And Babs goes, yeah, I don't know if I like it or not. And Jess goes, I love it. You look like a grandma pirate.

I honestly didn't mean it as an insult. I expected that not to be rude. It's a blouse and it's got the ruffle pirate puffy shirt look. It's the grandma part. I think that really. Is it the grandma part that upset you? I'm not upset. Was it the grandma part that didn't land?

Can you please speak like a pirate today all day? Thank you. All right. When is Talk Like a Pirate Day? That is a day on the calendar. I'm not sure if it was today. Jeez, that would be fun. And she's fluked wearing a puffy shirt.

That would be the 19th of September. We're a bit early. We're way off. My apologies. Well, 19th of September. Lock it in, Babs. Okay, get a little test run now of the pirate blouse and then come in back in September.

No, actually, really. I really just think it's a look. My apologies. All right. The commitment. You know, the Grandpa Pirate look. My apologies. All right. The commitment. You know, the Grandpa Par look, it's coming in. It's nice. A little break from all the gingham.

I was just trying to compliment. Oh, jeez. Now is she canning the gingham? No. Oh, my God. My words are being twisted. Bad. I love what you're doing.

You keep doing you. Thank you. You're welcome. Your $100 decanter's here. They let us know when you need it Yeah, yeah, yeah That'll soften the blow I am cleaning out my cupboard

I'm going to leave it on the boss's desk next I can't believe she picked If you came in with a gift for me my first thought would be Babes Appreciate you Well, to be fair

I did say, do you want this? And you said no Well, you said do you want You can't go in with a gift as do you want this It's got to feel like you chose it I should have wrapped it and then just filmed your expression.

Even just gift bag. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it to the boss. I hope he's not listening right now. That's not a bad idea. You've got to come in. It's all about you. Like walking into a festival, holding a ladder.

You're meant to be there. All about confidence. Or do I do it like St. Nick and I do it in sales and I just walk through a gift for you all. Oh, that's fun. But only the one. Yeah, just the one. Okay.

I go, the best sales representative today is, and I just insert name. Ducko, hang on. We're missing an opportunity. You and I are emceeing staff awards for the wonderful car family that we are both a part of. Yeah, yeah. Why don't we do it as a little, either a lucky door or, you know, best fastest speech. Fastest speech. We're conscious about people rambling or going over.

If you do the fastest speech, you win a wine decanter. An individual wine decanter. Individual wine. It's a single thing. The problem is, like, it's been in a box, I think, for, like, the best part of five years. It's kind of dirty. Have you ever used it?

No. Morgan's mum got given it. Then she opened it, put it together, left it, didn't use it, unpacked it. Oh, hang on. So she did to you what you're doing to everyone else? Correct. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't even a gift for you? No, no. So then she's like, do you want it? We're like, oh, yeah, okay. Then Morgan's like,

take it to work and give it to someone. That's so funny. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we could play, like, the Price is Right game. Oh, we didn't give it to one of them. You know, what's that one? What's that one? Do you remember Price is Right? It was like a little man going up the mountain. Yeah, yeah. And you had to say stop on the price before he fell over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something we could do with this. We could give it to a rice cooker if someone wants it. It's an individual wine to counter. For your baby registry, we were meant to give away a Robo Vac and Mop. Do we make it? Oh, do we change it? Robo Vac and Mop and individual wines. The Deluxe Aerator Set. Essential Winevac and mop. Do we make it robo-vac and mop and individual wines again?

The Deluxe Aerator Set, essential wine aerator and tower. Hang on, hang on a minute. We're really just, we're getting ahead of ourselves. You offered it to Babs. Yes. She did say thank you. Sorry, sorry. This is yours.

We are now spitballing about giving it away again, but did you want to take it home? That's okay. Someone else can take it. Okay. Jeez, just. Do we combine it with the RoboVac and mop? Well, we definitely can.

You'll do that? I love that idea. The aerator and the RoboVac and mop. What the hell? Once you've set your RoboVac and mop, you can enjoy a nice glass of decanted wine. Yes. Put your feet up and watch the RoboVac clean your house. Oh, that would be nice.

That's nice. Oh, okay. Done. That's happening today. I love it. So that is for our baby house. Oh, that would be nice. That's nice. Oh, okay. Done. That's happening today. I love it. So that is for our baby registry. When you hear the crying baby, you get that. Personally, we'll even sign the decanter.

That's a great idea. We'll sign the box anyway. And Shy Guy will spit in it. Yeah, okay. Stop it. Now it's gone through the roof. Because Shy Guy hasn't been involved. He doesn't look like a pirate today.

He was not offered the decanter because he doesn't really drink wine. Got to get him involved somehow. You can do that if you a pirate today. He was not offered the decanter because he doesn't really drink wine. Got to get him involved somehow. You can do that if you want, buddy. Put your DNA in the decanter. Is that what you want to do? Sure. If that's what you need, I'll spit in the decanter before we give it away to listeners. Good yes, good yes, and?

And then he'll get in trouble. But yes, you have the robo vac and that decanter. Spit or maybe, I don't know. That's coming up. We have 10k off bucks, 6.30 and 8. We We have $10,000, $630, and $8. We still have our last co-fod today. Oh, that's right. The Newcastle Food Month experience with one night's accommodation at the Crystal Rock Kingsley.

Mm-hmm. $500 cash. Jeez, that's good. You just got to get involved in the show at any point, and you actually have an opportunity next. Yes. No dumb thought Friday. No dumb thought.

You had a little dumb thought wiggling away in your brain. Well, here's an opportunity to share it. 13, 10, 60. Can be anything. No such thing as a dumb thought. We welcome you on. Absolutely. We love to unpack and dissect.

In fact, I'll give the best call of free fuel. I'm crazy. I'm crazy like that. You crazy cat. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

And Ducco put it out there. For the dumbest of the dumb thoughts today, got some free fuel. Yeah. So get involved in the phone. 13 10 60 also puts you in the draw for the co-file. Oh, yes, it does. And there's no judgment here. It's just a great place to unpack some of these dumb thoughts.

Yep, just clear your head. What have you got for me today? I've had to write this down because it's how the English language, I guess, has confused me. Yes. You tell me if this is dumb. Yeah. Isn't it funny how to dress fancy means to dress formally? Like if I said, duck on, throwing an event, dress fancy.

It almost means wear black tie, wear a suit, do something. But if you were to say fancy dress, it means a costume. I feel like you're just asking for a mix up there, English. Yeah, that is confusing. Like do you remember when I threw our daughter's first birthday party? It was a fiesta. But I didn't want to get cancelled because the internet's very sensitive. And I thought if anyone comes dressed up, we might get cancelled.

Like if you come in a sombrero and a moustache, we'll get cancelled. I put on the invite, don't dress up. And I had a friend go, so what do I wear? Active wear. She's dressing down. Don't dress fancy. And I went, no, no, don't dress up. Don't dress fancy. And I went, no, no, no. Don't dress up. Don't dress up.

Like a costume. It's all very confusing. It is very confusing. Fancy dress. And dress fancy. And dress fancy. That is a confusing one, actually. You're asking for trouble.

Imagine if you just arrived to this earth and you had no idea and you got that invite. Oh, and you rock up in your best pirate costume. For your wedding, you say dress fancy. I go, oh, this couple's fun. I'm going to get my best pirate costume. For your wedding, you say dress fancy. I go, oh, this couple's fun. I'm going to get my best pirate outfit. Yes. Raid Babs' wardrobe.

Obviously. And come in costume. Hang on a minute. Here's my blouse. He met dress formally. Everyone's laughing at you. He met dress formally. Oh, that's a tough one.

That is a tough one. Isn't it? Yeah. I also have a grunt with the English language, which is funny how this has worked. I love we're on the same wavelength accidentally. You know me and Shy Guy in this team are both dyslexic. That's correct.

The hardest word to spell is the word dyslexic. Oh, that's great. There's a Y. There's an X. There's an X. Who is the jackass who's like, oh, for people who are dyslexic, who struggle to spell with comprehension,

I'm going to make this word, I'm going to spell it D-Y-S-L-E. Let's chuck an X in. It's like I once saw a stand-up comedian who had a stutter, and they were playing into it and trying to have a bit of fun with it. But the word stutter, even, with an S, the S and the staccato, she was saying, why would you make the name of the affliction so hard for me to say? Do they do it to make fun of the people?

It's like, try and spell this one, dyslexic person. Because every time I try and spell it, I'm chucking a C wrong. I know there's an X in there, but the X gets overwhelming. Have you tried to spell it, Shaga? That's not one of the ones I struggle on. Necessary is the one I struggle on. Necessary is hard. There's a lot of S's and a lot of C's.

The principle of the, like, they could have called it something really basic, or dyslexic could have been spelt differently. They could have called it... Diss. Diss. Like, they could have made it much shorter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Much simpler. You can never get it wrong because now someone's like, are you dyslexic? Write that down for me. I'm like, oh my god.

It feels like they came up with the affliction, and they went, what letters don't get used much? X, Y. We need to get the X counter up. Even D. Put that in there. Hey 131060, get involved whenever you want. Just like David has. Good morning, David. Good morning. David, have you had a dumb

thought just taken up space in your brain and no one to share it with? Yes, I have. What is it, Del? Why are they called apartments when they're all together? Holy crap. Again, another gripe with the English language. Yes, apartments, but they're all next to each other.

Oh, my God. Who comes up with this stuff, David? That's fantastic, David. I know, it's crazy. That was like our friend, Micaiah. Yeah, yeah. AKA MacGyver. Yeah.

Didn't he tell us one time why they called buildings when they're already built? Built, yeah. Apartments. Apartments. When they're next to each other. You could have called them something else. Yeah, next to each other-ments. Yeah, yeah.

Boxes. Boxes next to each other. Oh, David, I like that. David. You're getting yourself some free fuel. Good for you, sir. Yeah, yeah. Boxers. Boxers next to each other. Oh, David, I like that. David. You're getting yourself some free fuel. Good for you, sir. Oh, thank you. Awesome.

That's a hell of a contribution. Every time I see an apartment, I'll be like, why? How long has that been taking up space in your brain, David? You've been pondering that for decades? Quite a while, yeah. Quite a while. Well, you found the right show for you, David. That's right.

We have no solution or answer. Yeah. But it's nice to... Come back any time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please do, David. Yes, I will. Very good.

Very good. I was going to say something really rude there. What were you going to say? Like you sound dumb. I can't say that. What I mean is you have great dumb thoughts. Yeah, you're a good dummy. You're a great dummy.

Now spell dyslexic. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions. We'll start with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back if there is time. Today, the player is Kate. Hello, Kate.

Good morning, guys. How are you going? Kate, we couldn't be better. Now, does it say Kate on your birth certificate or are you a Catherine? No, I'm a proper Kate. She's a proper Kate. No G, Kate. Okay, Kate.

So my mum is Kate, but she's Catherine. She didn't like the name Catherine. And she's with a C. Yeah, but the C, she changed it. Yeah. The real Kates are pretty rare. They are rare. Absolutely.

I only found out one of my best mates, Kate Kohler. She's Catherine. Really? I did not know. It's funny when you work that stuff out. And now I only will call her Catherine. Obviously. I wanted to make sure.

Kate was Kate. Yeah. Or Kate was Catherine. Is that because the letter's K? You know what? Unfortunately, no. Kate, that is a fair assumption to make. That would have been good.

We were digging down on it a bit. Because we're talking about it so much. The letter's F. Oh, okay. I like F. F is good. It's fate that Kate called in today to win $10,000. And I'm winning it.

You are winning it. Great attitude. Feels like a player. What do you want to spend the money on? I'm going to pay bills, of course. And whatever's left over, I really, really want to go to see Uluru. Oh, wonderful. Oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

What an adventure. Would you go to dinner at night? You know you can have dinner at night at Uluru? And morning, and lunch. And lunch. You'd live there. She's doing every meal at Uluru. Okay.

Let's get you $10,000 to supercharge that amazing trip. Are you ready to rock, Kate? I'm really ready. All right. Here we go. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter F, we need you to name a store. Pass. An instrument. Fiddle. A fabric. Felt. An Italian food. Facili. A female singer. Faith Hill.

An adverb. Fairly. A cartoon character. A cartoon character is Fred Flintstone. A mythological creature. Oh, far out. Pass. An animal.

Frog. A fruit. You could tell Kate with a player. When you hear the answers of the ones you missed, you're going to kick yourself. You were incredible. What's a mythological creature? You could have said a fairy.

Or you could have said a fire-breathing dragon. Yes. You could have said Frankenstein. Yes. Look, a store could have been Shy Guy's favourite fantastic furniture or footlocker. Everything else you got, a mythological creature, as we said, fairy, Frankenstein, whatever. And then the last one coming up, would you have got a fruit? A fig.

Oh, she's cool. Oh, jeez. You were a good player. Okay. The adverb, getting the adverb, bang, straight away. Can I confirm? I don't know if you'll have these stats, Shy Guy. Kate might be the first person to ever correctly answer adverts.

Yes, she might be. You always tell us it ends with a Y or an L. Oh, my God. Just go for that. Oh, Kate, you're a good writer. Just skyrocketing in my book. That is. We try and help.

We try, and Kate's the only one who actually took that information on board. Listen for the clues. Listen for the clues. Yes. I really could tell Kate was good. I thought we were on. What did you say for an Italian food? Oh, she said fusilli.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, unbelievable. The spirals. Only because there was a stage there where Jess kept asking for pastas, and I thought, oh, I better have that in the bag. Yeah, look at that. And that is my least favorite. But Kate locked it in.

You're a listener. You're good. Hey, don't go away if you had $100 cash coming your way, Kate. That's awesome. Thank you. That was so much fun. Thanks a lot. Kate, you're a delight. Thank you don't go away empty-handed. $100 cash coming your way, Kate, just for playing. That's awesome. Thank you. That was so much fun. Thanks a lot. Kate, you're a delight.

Thank you for joining the show this morning. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Have a good day. You too, babe. Good luck. Get to Uluru. Wow.

Friday. A Friday. I mean, 8 o'clock. Be like Kate. Be like Kate? I'm very impressed with young Kate. That was impressive. Oh, my God.

And it's funny because we've had people get nine, but I still feel like Kate was more impressive. Yeah, because it was some harder questions. Jess and Ducco. In the face! What got you in the face? What got you in the face? What got you in the face? We're heading to Russia.

Ooh. Hello. It's not great to be here. It never is. It's not. I want to take a picture in front of the Kremlin and get the hell out of here. Yeah, just see the red square and see you later.

See you later. We're here because there was a Russian octopus that was not happy with a Russian diver. Hang on a minute, Ducker. You know how I feel about the old puss. Oh, we do. You're not a big fan of it. This better be one hell of a story for you to be bringing octopus gear to this show. Oh, trust me, this is a great eight-legged creature story.

Okay, tell me. So this diver used a pole to poke the octopus's burrow. Didn't the octopus live in burrows just quietly? Didn't know that was what they were called. Yeah, I skipped through all the David Attenborough segments on octopus because I don't want to see them. Now, why was he poking the burrow, trying to lure the octopus out? I think so.

I can't imagine an octopus would like that. We didn't. So much so that this octopus, which I should be said, it's a common octopus, don't know the type, but it's not, like, deadly to humans. I know. I think we've only got those, those blue-ringed. Yeah.

Those blue-ringed boys that the tourists then take photos with, and they're like, ah, that'll kill you. That'll kill you. What are you doing? Anyway, he poked the burrow. The octopus got so angry, it latched onto his arm and started squirting him with the ink. The thrusting motion.

Oh, sorry. That's how they do it. They shoot the ink out of there. That's how they do it. Yes, because if you picture an octopus, they have their... Tentacles. I guess, no, I was going to say their equivalent of their mud button. Yeah.

Like right in the middle. Yeah, their lady cave thing. Of their bottom. Yeah, and it just sort of shoots it out. So they have to create that pulsation. Yes, they do. They thrust back and just let it go. Like a pipette.

You know, in year seven science, you would get the pipette. Yes. To suck up the liquid and then put it in a different beaker. Of course. They almost take it in, the energy, and then pop it out. The octopus got so angry after giving him so much ink, he tightened around his hand and his arm. The diver tried to get it off.

The octopus wasn't having a bar of it, so octopus, we'll call it puss, climbed all the way up his arm. Octopussy, obviously. Obviously. Octopussy climbed all the way up his arm, latched onto his face, and started squirting him with ink in the face. And this is a scuba man, so he's got the tank in the mouth and the goggles.

He's underwater. Now it's going around his neck. He can't get it off. And can I confirm, scuba mate, scuba's mate, he's just filming the whole time. I don't know if it's a Russian docker. Get a stick! Cry this thing off me! Vladimir's filming just like, let the cameras roll. If we't know if it's a Russian docker. Get a stick. Cry this thing off me. Vladimir's filming, just like, let the cameras roll.

Obviously. If we're going to knock David Attenborough off his perch, this is the footage that we need to get. How's my Russian? Why is he one of the boys at the kebab shop? You know what's the only accent I can do? Oh, I'll take it. He's a Lebanese Russian.

Hey, I'm a Russian. That's one of the easiest accents to do, Russian. I's a Lebanese Russian. Hey, I'm in Russia. That's one of the easiest accents to do, Russian. I still can't do that. So anyway, this diver couldn't get this octopus pussy off. Oh, my God, I caught it all on film. Yeah, yeah, he's trying. There's ink going everywhere. He's losing air. Quick stat.

How much ink can an octopus squirt out before it needs to eat something or recharge? Because it's sounding like a lot of ink. Well, I went fishing once and caught a squid, right? I went squidding and caught a squid. And then the singular squid, it was calamari, it was delicious. But when it got into the boat, squid everywhere. I mean, ink everywhere. Yes.

Good story. So anyway, he then gets to the top. Yeah. He gets to the top. The scuba. The scuba guy. And he's trying to breathe for air. He's trying to get the octopus off that way.

Was it fully constricting? Yes. Like a snake would. It was like a boa. I ran his neck and jizzed on him. You don't poke my burra, son. Exactly. That'll teach you.

It depends on the size of the ink sac on the squid. But typically, it's half a litre. Half a litre? There you go. But it depends on the type of squid and when the last expel was. Sure, sure. Begs the question, though. Well, no one's upset that puss up until now,

so he had probably a full ink sack. Guys, if you've seen Octopus Burrow, just leave it alone. Leave it alone. Film, by all means. Absolutely. But don't be poking its home with a stick. Begs the question, though. On 13, 10, 16.

In the face! What got you in the face? Brayden's called through. Hello, Brayden. Happy Friday, guys. Hey. Happy Friday, Brayden. What got you in the face? Brayden's called through. Hello, Brayden. Happy Friday, guys. Happy Friday, baby. What got you in the face? Well, it was a snail.

What do you mean? They are a slow-moving creature. How did it get up to your face without you noticing? My partner threw it. She chucked it? What's she doing? Brayden's poking the partner's burrow with a stick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here you go. He's piffing. And he's got snails. I'm picturing her, like, piffing it like the octopus squid. So why did she throw a snail at you, and how did it land on your face? Well, I was out in the back doing some gardening, just trying to be a bit of a green thumb. Yeah.

She'd come out. They'd been eating her plants. So she comes out, and she found where they were nesting And she cursed them a few times and then threw them one way And it went the other and hit me in the face and smashed on my sunglasses and my forehead Oh, because the shell She's piffed it with such force Oh my god

That snail's just having a munch on her lettuce leaves And all of a sudden gets piffed into Brayden's face. Yeah, into the sunnies. Is a snail without its shell once it's smashed on Brayden's sunglass, is that just a slug now? Or is that dead now? Once it got kicked out of home. Yeah, it doesn't have any home.

Brayden, are you building a house? Are you currently under construction, mate? We're apartments. Yeah, he's building apartments. Hey, Braden, why are they called apartments when they're so close together? I have no idea. We'll solve that later.

Doesn't visit me. Got me stumped too. That's got me stumped too. I love it. Thanks for getting involved. Thank you, Braden. What got you in the face? A freaking snail.

13, 10, 60. What got you in the face? We want to hear from you. I was once hit in the face with super glue. And that's all we have time for. Who threw it at you quickly? Myself. I stabbed the seal and it squirted into my eye.

I had to call nurse on call. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. We're in Russia. We're in the oceans of Russia. Yeah, we're in the deep oceans of Russia. Not a place I've been often. No.

And we're here because there is a terrifying octopus that has squirted its octopus ink all in a Russian diver who poked the bear by poking a stick at the octopus burrow. It came out, latched onto his arm, then squirted at him. Started constricting like a snake. Yes. Because it made its way up to his neck. He went around his face and he couldn't get it off.

It was sucking on so tight with its little suction caps. He had to go to the air to try and get air to try and suffocate the thing and eventually got it off. But it took like several minutes. And you know, some octopuses are adapting, octopi, are adapting that they can withstand being out of the water for a little while. Like they are developing at a, they're evolving at a speed

that is way too terrifying for me to comprehend. Like, they're going to be land dwellers within our lifetime. They are the closest thing to aliens. It's like the octopus that punches. And they're freaking smart. They are smart creatures. Have you seen the octopus that punches fish?

For no reason. Yeah, yeah. It just punches it and it comes past. Just to be a dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. Begs the question, though. Yeah.

What got you in the face? Chaga, you had one for us. Yeah. A. Crazy. Begs the question, though. Yeah. What got you in the face? Shy Guy, you had one for us. Yeah, a tennis ball. We're playing that game. You were on the wall. Like, wall ball? Maybe wall ball. I can't imagine you playing games.

Anyway, I was lining up on the wall. You got hit in the face with a wall ball. Yeah, tennis ball. It hurt, man. Hey, balls to the face do hurt. I had a volleyball to the face once. Oh, that hurts. That's a nose breaker.

That's a great catch. It's like just because I'm not a great catch. Yeah. It's like perhaps didn't you have, what were you saying you had? Football to the face. Football to the face. You're poor little nozzle. You've got to start catching, guys. I know.

Maybe we can do a clinic. Yeah, yeah. Leanne, good morning. Good morning. Leanne, thanks for sticking around through those songs. What got you in the face? Well, I was washing out of laundry and it was like my second day in and I was shaving my cheeks out and a used condom flicked me

in the cheek. Leanne. No. Leanne, so it's gone through the wash, wrapped up in the sheet. No, no, it hasn't even gone through the wash. Oh, no. So you were just emptying, like airing out the sheets to put it in the wash. Yeah, to put them in.

And it's just flicked up. On your second day. Oh. Was that in your training, Leanne? Oh, no. Like, when you were going through your induction? No, no. It was, like, in my second day in that section.

But, yeah, it was horrible. I was running off, screaming. Ugh. How long ago was that, Leanne? It was horrible. I was running off, screaming. Ugh. My face. How long ago was that, Leanne? Oh, that would have been over 10 years ago. But can you, you know when something so traumatic happens, you still feel like the memory of it?

Can you always just feel the shadow of it on your cheek? Yeah, it's horrible. Did anyone else at your work at the time see it? Yeah, all the boys. They were laughing at me and making fun of me forever. Did you have to clean it up? Did you come on with the big tongs or put some gloves on? Yeah, what do you do?

Like, you touched the glass! Yeah, yeah. I flicked it off into the bin with the sheet when I came back to clean my face off. Yes. There's not enough Cetaphil in the world to make you feel clean after that. That is a gurney to the face, I think. God, I have so many questions.

I know. If a client has dropped that off, how do you then look that client in the eye? Being like, can you wash off your sheets? Do you not know where the sheets came from? Whose it was? It's just in the big pile. And did you get a good nickname then? Surely someone gave you a nickname after that.

No, I didn't get one. Oh, and he come to mind? No, I've been trying to think of one for a couple of minutes now. Frown your face. Yeah, I was thinking frown your face. That's where I was going. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Older. We're treading carefully with where we are in time. Yeah, that's absolutely. It's 7-on-1. Yeah, yeah. Let's be careful. Jess and Ducco. Right now, Ducco, my attempts at being a good civilian, a good person,

were rejected by an elderly man yesterday. Lucia goes to daycare on a Thursday, so mummy had some free time. Oh, yeah. Mummy went and got a blow wave. Mummy had a glass of wine in the evening. Mummy was feeling great. Oh, man. But I had a portion of the day in there where free time,

and I thought, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go do some work, sit by the ocean, just ground myself, take my shoes off. Ponder life. Ponder life. Watch the waves rolling in. Did you swim? I didn't swim, no, because I knew I had a hair appointment.

Of course. And I don't like to go with two. Can you swim with the mane now, with those extensions in? Do you know what's funny? After my first appointment, having got them in, I got the maintenance pamphlet saying how to make sure I keep them in good nick and avoid swimming was on there. So I guess I can always go up to my neck, pile it on top. But I wasn't really in the mood to swim. I just wanted to watch the waves crashing into shore. And there was a bit of a hubbub that broke my

meditation in a way. And it was an elderly gentleman. I'm going to say he was pushing 80. And you know the beach where we live. There's a nice white sort of picket railing sort of thing. I guess it's separating some of that vegetation before you hit the sand. This bloke, I missed it how it happened, but I've looked over, and he is fully bent over the railing, and his feet are almost dangling midair. I thought, has he fallen?

Has he had a heart incident? And he's fallen over the railing. And I've gotten up to assist, but he regained his footing. And I realised what he was doing was trying to catch his small Jack Russell, who had gotten out of her harness. Obviously a wiggly, energetic breed. Yeah, a little yappy yap. And he's in his 80s, you said.

He's in his 80s. I think the dog has run into the vegetation. Come back. He's tried to get her and she's wiggled out of the harness. Did he say his name, the dog's name? I couldn't. He was cool, calm and collected. Right.

But this dog didn't take off but very much was looking back at her elderly daddy going, ha ha, sucker. Bye bye. I'm not coming back to you. Because he started doing the, come on, you're trying to give the kissy-kissy. Doing all the tricks they can. Doing all the tricks very calmly.

But she just kept sort of trotting out of his grasp. And he's 80, so he's not exactly diving for her. It's not a quick race. It's not a quick race. And I thought, oh, I want to be a good civilian. I want to be a good person in society. I'll get up and offer to assist catching this dog. You know, I'm not athletic, so this was a big deal for me to go,

I'm going to try and help this old man catch this speedy breed of dog. And I wandered over. I said, sorry, can I help you wrangle this cheeky pooch you've got? And he went, no, no, it's okay. I've got a tactic. And I went, okay, I'll leave you okay. I've got a tactic. Oh. And I went, okay. Oh, sure.

I'll leave you to it. I don't want to be condescending to an old man. Yeah, yeah. If you've got it, you've got it. So I sort of slowly started walking away, but I thought I'll just keep an eye on it. And what this guy's tactic was on the grass area near the path where the dog was sort of just moseying around, he sort of, you know, sat down slowly and then played dead. It's like he flopped onto the grass.

Maybe he'd proven before. Did he do the... Yeah, besides like clutching his chest and making a full scene, he just sort of sat down and then went plop, looked like he was dead. And I'd obviously spoken to him and watched this happen. And then I'm just standing 50 metres away going, this guy looks like he's dead.

The dog's not going over straight away. Not one single person came over to check if this bloke was actually dead. If you see an 80-year-old man lying on his back with his eyes closed, please go check on him. At least give him a little kick. Give him a little, or just go over him. At least give him a little kick. Give him a little. Or just go over him. Yeah, yeah.

Or maybe. Excuse me. Check if the pulse. Is there a pulse? But for like five minutes, this dog did not go over. So the tactic wasn't working. And there was just an old man lying like he was dead. Just killed him.

Was he doing the thing like opening his eye looking? Like, come on. I think that's maybe why the dog was like, you're not dead. I'm not coming over to investigate. He's done this before. There's only so many things you can do with dogs before they learn your tactic. Absolutely. But maybe he's done it in his own backyard or in the living room.

I don't know how much. I didn't ask. He's done it in public. I just thought. Inevitably, when this guy does keel over and die, you know, the dog's going to think he's, you know, playing dead. It's a joke. Exactly.

And just keep taking off. But for like five, even 10 minutes, this dog did not go back to daddy. Didn't come near him. I'm just watching from afar going, should I try and shepherd him, shepherd the dog over? So you didn't leave. You were still trying to help him. I was trying to help.

Just in case he was actually. Because more so, I thought if someone does come over and start trying to administer CPR, I can at least intervene and go, no, no, no. No, no, he's playing. Witness this. Jess and Daco. We covered this a couple of weeks ago with a great interview, Jess, no, no, no. No, no, he's playing. He's attacking. He's playing. Witness this. Jess and Daco. We covered this a couple of weeks ago with a great interview, Jess, about endometriosis.

That's right. It is Endometriosis Awareness Month, and we got to catch up with an advocate who had teamed up with an unlikely partner, a tradie, to try and get more attention on this from a partner perspective, from a male perspective. Because it is a condition that affects one in seven Australians by the age of 49. And it's horrific too.

It is horrific, but it is still one of those things shrouded in taboo. People aren't talking about it. People aren't open with their workplaces for fear of shame or retribution, let alone the funding that goes into research and exploration. Because really, the only way to diagnose this horrific condition affecting so many women is exploratory surgery. It sounds bad. Which just feels wild when it is such a prolific problem.

There's more questions about it than answers really right now. Couldn't agree more. So we want to really highlight something happening on the network Sunday, March 23, hosted by one of our own, Ellie Angel Mobs, who is a passionate advocate for endometriosis awareness. She is doing an hour-long special. It is called Life with Endo, aiming to raise awareness. And we are privileged to be joined by Ellie this morning.

Ellie, thanks for your time, girlfriend. Morning, guys. Thank you so, so much for shining a light on something I'm really passionate about. And I know that a lot of people do struggle with this in silence. So the fact that we are giving a voice to our endo patients across Australia is just something that I am so, so excited to be part of. And tell us about your endo journey, Ellie. How old were you when you first sort of realized that you had this?

Was it something that happened straight away? When did you get diagnosed? Oh, gosh, it was a journey. And I hate using the word journey because it's like an episode of Married at First Sight. But you're allowed to. They have co-opted that word. You actually have been on a journey with this condition. So endo was in my family.

So mum had it, both her sisters. So, I was kind of aware of it. And it was when I was 16, I got my first period and it was really painful. And I thought, okay, there's going to be something going on. And mum is a retired nurse. So, straight away, she's like, this is what's going on. We're going to take you to the GP. Now, GPs back then, bless them, didn't really know much about it.

I think my mum knew more than what they did. And I was getting dismissed. It was like, oh, just take some Panadol, go home. This is normal. And, you know, you kind of got taught at sex ed back in the day that periods were painful and you'd suck it up. And that's just what girls go through. And so for years and years and years on, I was just like, oh, whatever, I'll just deal with it. And never really kind of got any answers.

I'd go get tests. I'd go get tests. I'd go get scans. I'd go see other doctors. One told me, here's a referral to a psychologist. I think that it's all in your head. And I remember after that moment, I didn't want to go back and see anyone because I did question. Maybe there's nothing going on. Maybe it is all made up. And so it wasn't until 12 years after I had initial symptoms that I got a diagnosis.

That was via the surgery. The only way you can get the official yay or nay if you've got it. And I remember waking up after that surgery and the doctor said, you've got stage four endometriosis. It's one of the worst cases we've ever seen. Your uterus is like a bruised apple. Sexy. It was attacking my bowel.

It destroyed my appendix. It killed that. It was everywhere. He described it as like two basketball sizes living in my guts. Oh, my God. And one of the worst cases I've ever seen. And Ellie, again, forgive my ignorance, but it's just not something that's talked about enough.

You were diagnosed with stage four. If a GP along your journey, I mean, it doesn't help anyone saying if things had been different, but if someone along the journey earlier had said, let's go in and investigate, could they have caught it earlier, maybe at stage one or two, and things would have been different? Who knows? And this is the mysterious thing when it comes to endo.

It probably could have been caught earlier and hopefully it wouldn't have progressed to as bad as it has. But still, there's just so much unknown about it. You know why it's occurring? And unfortunately, there is no cure. But yeah, I have had a look back on it and gone, oh. Yeah, without a cure, what good is maybe finding out? You know what I mean?

Exactly. Earlier or later, whatever it might be, we still need a solution. Yeah. And, you know, there's so many smart minds who are working on different things and different ways and even, you know, simple, like they're working on trying to see if there's a blood test possible just to find out whether or not you've got it instead of having to go and have the surgery, which is so, so drastic. Because, you know, you go under and then you've got the anesthetic and then you've got the recovery. And, you know, it's not just a simple thing to go through.

So, yeah, it's a wild roller coaster. And, you know, I just strap myself in every day to see which seat we're going to be sitting in today. Yeah, so what does it look like now when you do get your period, when that time comes for you? And you've obviously had the surgeries and countless things. Like, is it still just super painful? Is it any better at all? Oh, the past couple of days have been the worst for me. Oh, wow.

Yeah, but, you know, I don't just have it during that time of the month. I get it at random times. Oh, right. And this is the other thing, too. Every single endo during that time of the month. I get it at random times. So it's not, and this is the other thing too. Every single endo patient has got a different story and how they feel when it comes around. And, you know, for me, it's, it can happen at any moment. Like I was on a bus to work one day and I had an episode and I ended up on the floor at the bus station having to be wheeled out.

And my husband had to come and pick me up to take me at emergency because it just came out of nowhere. Like I was feeling fine and next minute I'm on the floor. So there's real no kind of consistency, which is very, very, very frustrating. But today I'm having a good day. Wonderful. So I always think of it when I'm in a good place, it's like just keep on focusing on that.

Do you find that with that it changes how you plan things within your life, like trips or anything like that? Oh my God. I've lost so many friends over the years and just planning things is horrendous and trying to navigate the world. And, um, you know, you know that your true friends are the ones who stick by you and understand if at the very last minute you've got to cancel something. So it really has been interesting having to navigate all of that.

And, you know, thankfully with work here at Southern Cross Austeria, we've got such a supportive place that understand it now because, you know, when I was first going through it, there really wasn't much known and having male bosses and stuff like that. It was this really like, oh, you can't talk about that. And, you know, they just didn't understand. But now, totally different world. But it just breaks my heart, Ellie, with people like you

in a supportive workplace who have been able to shine a light. Granted, you shouldn't be carrying the load to educate the superiors, but, hey, you are doing good work in that regard. But you think about how many women would be in workplaces where it isn't a supportive environment. It isn't based on a framework of communication like a radio station who don't want to talk about it. If you're losing friendships, imagine trying to have this conversation with colleagues

or employers. What would you like to see in terms of awareness or even structurally, systemically, from a legislation point of view in workplaces about that understanding and appreciation of women who would be experiencing endometriosis? Well, look, the fantastic thing is that ever since we kind of got the endo conversation into government, into the big house down in Canberra, there has been some changes in the work legislations and stuff like that. So WorkSafe Australia have now got guides for employees as to how they can navigate if their employers aren't dealing with their endometriosis in the

appropriate ways. Because I have heard stories of people being fired because they have been sick and there's just no understanding from the employers. So there definitely has been change. But, you know, check out WorkSafe Australia if you're currently in a scenario where your workplace is being an absolute, I was about to say a rude word. They're not being very nice. Remember the time swap?

Yes, we get unreasonable. They're not being very nice. So, yeah, so, you know, there is that support there. But still, there's so much to learn. And that's why with this radio special on Sunday, we're talking about endo because it's like the endo guide for dummies. So people can listen and they can learn and they're going to hear stories from real life Australians and, you know,

from people like Bindi Irwin and Emma Watkins, Emma Memma, the yellow wiggle, an MC bomb, a limp bomb. So, you know, there's so many different people who have been affected in hearing their stories and how they navigate it. Hopefully it's just going to be able to shine a light and people will learn from it. And like you said, everyone's endo journey is so different.

Absolutely. It's the other tough thing. Well, it's fantastic. You're doing great work. Really appreciate it. This Sunday, as I said, March 23rd, hosted by Ellie herself. Be listening because it's going to be unreal. Ellie, you're a legend.

Thanks so much for joining us and getting us more understanding on the subject. And go check out the charity I'm an ambassador for, and they are part of the SEA Embrace program. It is endometriosisaustralia.org. We are working tirelessly to make a change and be a voice for everyone. So big love to all of my endo warriors who are listening this morning. You take care of yourselves. Amen, sis.

Thank you so much. Thanks for your time. Thank you. Jess and Ducko. Say the same, say the same. The aim of a game is to say the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a verbal snap.

Yeah. You don't know what the other person's going to pull out, but the idea is you work step by step to try and say the same, find a common ground. Yes. Jump on each other's bandwagons. You and I have not had the most success at this game. We did at the start and we loved it.

Mate, that one time we both said gold medal. Yeah. Good times. That felt great. Jeez, synergy. But you only get five goes to do it and sometimes we're still too far apart. So you thought, hey, I'm feeling crazy for this Friday in March. Let's mix it up.

Why don't you play with Shy Guy and I'll play with Sweet Babs? Yeah. Because they played once and cheated. So we're like, well, you guys can't play together anymore. Yeah, yeah. We don't have teams, so we can't cheat. Would you? I mean, we're the brooms for three hours.

I don't know how to use it. I lost my laptop charger the other day. I left it in the pub. I love when our boss sends us an email going, hey, guys, you've had a sick day or you've had annual leave. Put your leave in. Ducko, come see me. Because he has to do it for me.

I know how to do it. I just pretend not to know. Oh, very good. Would you boys like to start? We can start. Why don't you start? I'll do your three, two, one. You've got five chances to say the same, lads.

Three, two, one. Bucket. Chalkboard. Chalkboard and bucket. Okay. Chalk. I got something. You got something?

Okay, sure. Three, two, one. Lid. Ooh. God, I feel like you're getting close. Don't do a jest. Don't you know me? Don't you know me and act like I know what you're saying.

That's not the worst thing for you to put up with. So wait, you said water and you said lid. Okay, we've got this. Three, two, one. Gurney! Oh no! What did you say? Pot, like an oven.

Oh, you're going legit. I thought I was vibing you. Gurney. Okay. The pressure hose. You've gone further away now. Damn it. We've gone Gurney and Pot.

I feel like you were flirting and now you've deviated. Gurney and Pot. We're going to have to jump on one of each other's. Pot and Gurney. Well, I think, yeah. Yeah. I can see you whispering over there. Who's whispering?

No, no. Is he? He's making movements with his mouth. Oh, no. That's just what he does. That's when he's excited. Three, no, is he? He's making movements with his mouth. Oh, no, that's just what he does. That's when he's excited. Three, two, one. Pasta.

Did you just say pasta? Yeah, pot. So proud of you. But what did you say? Squirt. Okay, no, we've jumped each other. Now we're going to have the pasta and squirt. Last one, boys.

Pasta and squirt. Come on, we can do this. This is going to be a tough carry, but we can find something. Pasta. Squirt. Oh, I mean, find something. Pasta? Squash. Oh, I mean, think about... Think of the pasta and the squirt. Squirt pasta.

Yeah. Three, two, one. Rigatoni! No. You're nothing. You just said nothing. I'm out. Give me something.

There was nothing to give. Okay, well, that was horrible. We fell apart. I can't even... I was a good try. No, it wasn't good. We were good for give. Okay. Well, that was horrible. We fell apart. I can't even think of a good try. No, it wasn't good. We were good for the first two. All right, ladies. Yeah, you got close and then just ran away from one another.

Let's see if you guys can do better. Sweet Babs. We've got five guys. Ducko, will you do the countdown? Look into the pirate's eyes. I will. Here we go. Three, two, one.

Pirate. Oh, what did you say, Babs? Grandma. Grandma and pirate. Oh, grandma. Grandma and pirate. Yeah. grandma. Grandma and pirate. Yeah. Yep.

Okay. Oh, three, two, one. Blouse. Blouse and Babs. Did you say Babs? You said your own name? I don't think anyone's done that. Me.

Interesting tactic. Blouse and Babs. Blouse and Babs. Blouse. Good luck with this. And Babs. It's intense, isn't it? Come on. Blouse and Babs. Blouse. Good luck with this. And Babs. See, it's intense, isn't it? Come on. Blouse.

Put them together. Three, two, one. Outfit. Outfit. Oh, outfit, depop. Oh, you're there, though? Yeah. Because that's where she got her pirate blouse from Depop that she's wearing today.

Thank you. And that's why we were celebrating, you know, not buying into fast fashion. You've got two to go. You've got two to go. What are we on? Depop and outfit. Yeah. Depop and outfit. It. D-pop and outfit.

It doesn't help when you're looking. It doesn't help when you're looking. And you get a really intense look into the eyes. Yeah, no. Outfit. And D-pop. And D-pop. Let's just keep saying it different ways.

Three, two, one. Clothes. Oh, clothes and app. Clothes. No, don't. Is this our last go? Yeah, this is it. This is it.

Because anyone can. Clothes. Yeah. And app. Clothes? No, don't. Is this our last go? Yeah, this is it. This is it. Clothes and app. Clothes. Do you expect anything to come from that? All right, here we go. Three, two, one. Iconic. You were close.

You were close. We were flirting with each other that whole time. You were just tickling. You were just tickling. Just tickling. How intense is it when Jess is like, clothes? And you know what? I was going to say pirate on the first one, but I didn't. I said grandma.

Why did you do that? I don't know. Well, you know, good story. I'm just trying to make it interesting. Let's put Shy Guy and Jess together because they just seem to do that to each other. Not now. Not now. I don't want to go right now.

Oh, okay. We'll do it in the ad. Next week. Next week. Jess and Daco. I had one of the worst days. Worst days. Oh, no.

So it was just a classic when it rains, it pours, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You don't do things by halves. Nah, it all just flows in at once. In your everyday life. No. I get an email from Channel 9.

You know, I do some Today Show weather stuff for them. It's a fine from when I was in Melbourne doing the Australian Open. Yeah. It was a fine from the Hertz rented car, like an infringement, like a speeding infringement. Oh, no. Didn't know I got it. I was driving around inner city Melbourne. There were trams.

I didn't know what the speed limits were. Like, I was, it was not even going fast. Yep, yep. God forbid you had to do a hook turn in the CBD. And that's one of those things. God, sorry, did you say the tennis? Yep. So this is January, like two and a bit months.

You need to pay it in 40 days. So they've tracked down, obviously, it was a rental car. Yep. Hertz passes it on to the renter, which is Channel 9. Then they have to work out who's working that day. Correct, which is me. And then it's a $50 fine that I've got to pay for the Hertz. You need to pay Hertz money for the fine infringement,

then you've got to pay the fine as well. However, there was no fine. I didn't know what it was for or how fast I was going. Hertz didn't have the fine. They just said, this is Hertz in Victoria. They just said, here you go. Here's the phone. So Channel One's like, you need to sort this out.

I'm like, okay. I then call Hertz. And Hertz are like, ah, we, you know, we can't see that phone here. Like, you need to speak to Service Victoria. So I call Service Victoria. Oh, that must have been a fun wait time and actually getting through to someone who could work out what you were trying to clarify. When I get through to Service Victoria, they were like, okay, because I'm trying, it's

a company fine right now. So it's like three grand. You know what I mean? But I'm an individual. So I need to just transfer it down to be me. So it becomes normal. Because yes, when it's a fleet charge. Yes, exactly.

It's 60% extra or something. And it's overdue and stuff. And I was like, okay, so the fine didn't get from Hertz to my employer to me. I'm the driver. We need to work this out. And they're like, okay, can you tell me the company? And I was like, Channel 9. And they're like, nah, you don't work for that company.

And I'm like, that's the company I was in. Like, no, sorry. You need to go back and contact your company and see what their real name is. I'm like, that's the name of the company. Are they saying some sort of parent conglomerate name? That's what I thought, but it wasn't there. No, it wasn't Nine Entertainment. I tried every other.

Nine Entertainment, PTY, LTD. Nothing, right? Yes. I call Nine. Nine are going, you need to speak to Hertz. I then ring Hertz again. Oh, it wasn't Nine Entertainment. I tried every other. Nine Entertainment, PTY, LTD. Nothing, right? Yes. I call Nine. Nine are going, you need to speak to Hertz. I then ring Hertz again. Oh, God. Do you get the same person?

Different person? Hertz give me an email and say, you can try emailing these people. And I'm like, this fight is overdue. So then I discovered, what if they think I work for Hertz? So I call Service Victoria back. I call them back. And I go, I work for Hertz. And I just read out the address. And they go, what's your role in the company?

I go, driver. It worked. They go, oh, yep. And we can see the fine here. Sorry, pardon? You said you were a driver for a car rental. And they took it. And they took it.

But what does it matter what your role is? And then how's this? They go, you were going 45 in a 40 zone. And that was me not speeding because I thought it was like 60 or 50. I didn't know where I was going. Totally. So you thought you were way under. That wasn't a school zone time or something.

It was an inner city area. It was a Sunday. And they go, it's one point and it's like 250 bucks, right? I go, okay, sure. Can I transfer that to me as the individual? They go, oh, no, no. You can't transfer that to your individual. You need to apply to do that online.

We can't do it on the phone. Oh, Jesus. And it's going to take another month, so we're going to hit you with another late fee. Why did you let me get through to you and do all these codes? So then I go back to her. Because they're bored, and this is the way they kill time. It gets worse, right? So I'm filling out the form online, and then it's like, do you actually work for this company?

If not, it can be an $11,000 fine, loss of license. And I'm like, okay, I'm not putting that through. I need to then get Hertz to give me in writing that I don't work for them, but I need this fine to not be part of their company. Yes, if they've clarified and classified you as an employee, though, what are you meant to do? So then I emailed Hertz, and I've sent them the attachment. The Hertz people replied back being like, oh, can't open the attachment. So I'm like, send a screenshot of the photo.

You need Shy Guy on the phone for your tech support. Then I go on to Service New South Wales. Because who checks that app? I check it. There's another fine sitting there for me that I just hadn't seen. Hang on. Now, this is your home state. This is home state, but it's not a speeding or a driving infringement.

However, it is $400 and two points. For what? For parking within 10 metres of an intersection when I pulled up to run across the road, grab a coffee, and then run back in the car. No police or parking inspector's seen it. The hair salon, which I know who they are. Dobbed you in.

They've come out and taken... Because I was like, they can't prove it. Look online, there's photos. They've sent photos to... Obviously, I haven't sent a little bit because they're across the road from this coffee store I go to. I didn't realise you couldn't park there. Sorry, and what's the thing?

10 metres? You can't park within 10 metres of an intersection, no traffic lights. That was the fine. And I was like, I didn't know that was a rule. I don't think I knew that was a rule. Two points, it's more points than it was for speeding. Wow.

And so I was like, hang on a minute. So now I've got like $700 worth of fines and three points. But also lucky you then checked that app. Imagine if you hadn't seen that notification, you're getting hit with a late fee for that as well. Right. And I hadn't, like, I've got full points. So it's not a point issue, but it was financially,

I could not believe that the hair salon, they know who they are. They dobbed you in. I'm this close to saying their name. Oh, hang on a minute. And you've got a branded car. Yeah. Like, wow. No, as in like they would have you've got a branded car. Yeah. Like, wow. No, as in, like, they would have known.

It was my wife driving. Maybe who you were. Oh, by the way, it wasn't me. It was Morgan. It was my pregnant wife. I can't wait to emcee their event tonight for the car company we work for, Jess. As in, as in. Thank you, Jessica.

They might have known. It's a very obvious car. They might have known. It says brand ambassador. But also, like, that wasn't for speeding. That was just for parking. I was gone maybe 10 minutes to get the coffee.. They might have known that's a duck man. But also, that wasn't for speeding. That was just for parking. I was gone maybe 10 minutes to get the coffee. I didn't even know that was a freaking rule.

I thought maybe the parking inspectors might give you an $80 fine. Yeah, yeah. Two points and $400. I didn't know they just snuck it in your app. Yeah. How cheeky is that? I did check my letterbox. It was a letter, too.

No one does analogies. Come on. It was a hell of a day, guys. So where are you at with the first fine? I'm waiting for an email back from Hertz. You're going to get hit with another late fee, 100%. I hope not because I didn't even know what I had. Surely this isn't, I'm not the first person to get a rental car and get a fine.

Absolutely. For a company, you know what I mean? Wow. And going 5Ks over in a 40 zone, that is a tough. Oh, my God. In the CBD. I know. You're right.

When it rains, it pours. Have you stepped on a crack, walked under a ladder, seen a black cat? I don't know. Wow. You know what? Drink's on me tonight, Ducker. I'll shout you out. At our car ambassadorship walk.

Jess and Ducker in the morning. Jess and Ducker's 10K Alphabarks on here. Yeah, baby. Let's rip and tear. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all started with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue the question, just say pass.

We come back, of course, if there is time. No cheating or help in the background that we can hear of. Our caller today, our contestant is Amy. Hello, Amy. Good morning. Amy, are you on your own? Yes, I am. I've just got my kids in the car, so I've stepped out of the vehicle.

They're not going to help. They're going to be a hindrance. If anything, they would be a distraction. Exactly. Yes, that's right. We love that it's just me, myself and Amy, you know, ready to win $10,000. What would you like to spend the money on today? Well, I'm doing a half marathon, my first one in a couple of weeks here in Newcastle,

and I've been wanting to go over to Vegas to do a full one, which is on in February next year. So that would be awesome. Vegas isn't a place I put together with marathons. I thought she was going to say, once I achieve it, I'll go to Vegas to celebrate. No, no, I'm going to choose the Vegas marathon. Vegas marathon. With which to partake in. Wow.

Hot and flat. That's the plan. Okay. Good on you, Amy. Then youathon. With which to partake in. Wow. Be hot and flat. That's the plan. Okay. Good on you, Amy. Then you can party after. All right. Absolutely. Put it all on black.

The letter you're going to work with today, my darling, it's D. D for distraction. Okay. Yep. All right. Feel good? Yep. Ready to go.

She's ready to go. Okay. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter D. We need you to name a She's ready to go. Okay. Your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter D. We need you to name a McDonald's food item. Pass. A type of bird. Pass.

A piece of furniture. Pass. A fabric. Pass. A famous Australian. Dawn Fraser. Something fabric. Pass. A famous Australian. Dawn Fraser. Something in the bedroom. Door handle.

A movie. Dawn of the Dead. A streaming service. Pass. A brand of tea. Oh, my God, that was terrible. Oh, dear. We got a case of the passes earlier and we couldn't come back.

We couldn't rip ourselves out of that pass hole. Look, a McDonald's food item. That's a tough one. You got yourself three. The food item could have been a double cheeseburger or a deluxe caramel iced coffee. Unless Amy had just ordered that. That's hard. That's really hard.

But a type of bird. Amy, a duck. A duck. Come on. Remove the O. Yeah. Anyway. A piece of furniture could have been a desk, bird, Amy, a duck. A duck. Come on, remove the O. Yeah, anyway. A piece of furniture could have been a desk, a fabric denim, a streaming service Disney+, and a brand of tea you ran out of time.

Dilmar was what we were after. Look, you don't get the cash, but you do get $100 cash just from us for playing. Oh, great. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Amy. You have a wonderful Friday, and good luck with the marathons.

Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Jeez, it can be tough. It can be a tough game sometimes. It can. It really depends what mood Babs is in, I guess. It is. A lot of those, apart from McDonald's, are pretty gettable.

Bird. I mean, the duck man. You're off at Seabird on the quiz. I literally, yeah. There's only so many questions Babs can put on this quiz. So true. I think we've heard all of them. I think so.

I don't think there's any new ones. Many times over. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying you have to remember them all, but. Yeah. Hey, it's hard, man. When you get on air, it's hard. It's hard when you've got the kids in the car.

There's a lot going on. Probably got marathon on the brain. Oh, yeah. It's tough. You got marathon brain. Marathon brain. We've got the weekend to study up. We'll try again on Monday.

Jess and Ducco. What we want to know here is if you've ever had an experience where you've gone, turns out that's not normal, about your own body. Yeah. Someone asked the internet recently. Are you doing embarrassing body years? I'm doing embarrassing body years.

Obviously the theme to the show. Your back catalogue of sounds. Yeah. I've got them everywhere. Ducky fingers. That wall of sound that you put up every day. Yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Did you ever That wall of sound that you put up every day? Yeah, yeah. Fantastic.

Did you ever watch this show? Did you watch this show? No, I mean, bits and pieces. I've seen it before. Some of it was fascinating, and then some of it just crossed a line for me. I went, why have you gone on TV? Yeah, why did you do that? They must get free medical attention and care.

Oh, it has to be. You'd hope so. You'd hope they're getting paid. Jesus Christ, because they don't blur faces. They use real names. There's only so many scabies I can look at, you know what I mean? I know, right? Yeah.

And you think it's just in the UK. Nah, nah, that's being streamed in Australia. Hell yeah. Someone asked the internet, are you dealing with something with your own body that you always thought everyone would be dealing with? That was so normal until maybe you started talking to friends, family, a partner, and then realised, oh no, this is just me. People have come thick and fast.

For as long as I can remember, one woman writes, every time I pee, my eyes well up. And I don't mean just a little bit of a romantic tear. I mean full-on tears streaming down my face. It's like when I open up my bladder, my eyes also have to leak. What? The longer I hold it, the worse it gets. I just assumed that happened to everyone in the bathroom.

That's crazy. Only until I got with my partner and he came in while I was peeing and said, what's wrong? Is it hurting? Is it singing again? Doesn't everyone cry when they open their bowels? Surely you're going to know as you get a bit older, pre-partner even, that you know that's not normal. But like, why would you?

You're on your own in the bathroom. Just sobbing and weeing. Totally. Gee, she'd be dehydrated. Dehydrated. I like this one. It doesn't say if it's from a man or a woman. It's giving female vibes, but you tell me what you think.

Whenever I get turned on, I sneeze. It's some kind of weird reflex. Like a hot guy walks past. What a great way to catch your partner out. Like, do you think that bloke at work is hot? Nah, don't. He walks past. Not the sexiest in the boudoir.

And also hard to fake a sneeze. You know, you think, ooh, might have a bit of romance tonight. She's not sneezing. Oh, okay. You're not into it? Sneeze for me. Sneeze. Yeah.

That's tough. Someone else has said, I thought this was normal, that anesthetic didn't work. I wake up from anesthesia every time I've been under. I was getting stitches in my head at eight years old and the surgeon sort of walked around and went, oh, crap, you're awake. It's a nightmare fuel. Absolutely.

I felt him sewing my head back together and snip the stitches. Yuck. Another one for you. I was complaining to my husband about how annoying it is every time I eat, how I get food stuck in my throat, so I must always have a drink and have a sip after every mouthful. He was like, that is not normal. Turns out I have a condition called dysphagia where I have issues

with my throat closing up and not being able to swallow food. That would suck. That would be horrible. This is how everyone eats. This is how it is until you know. You don't want to ask questions about it. I know, because if it's your every day for as long as you remember. This is famous on this show.

I've discussed it plenty of times. But I thought that my nipples not having any feeling in them was normal. You thought that was nipples? Until I started getting nipple crippled and it didn't hurt. And I was like a beast. You know what I mean? I'm like, is this my superpower? Yeah, yeah.

Particularly from a man's perspective, you'd be going, well, they have no purpose on a bloke. Well, they do, yeah. So why do they need sensitivity? Exactly. And then you meet Shiger and he's like, don't touch me. He's so sensitive. That was a weird day when you met me.

Yeah. I had to hang off. Everyone on the team's hung off my nipples except Babs. That's a rite of passage. It'll come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll come. It'll happen.

Yeah, you just got to wear it down a little bit more. Yeah, get it. Do you guys have any bodily things? Bodily things? I mean. You like beans, Jess, but that's just pretty natural. I eat a lot of bean. I thought it was very normal for, you know, a level of stinkiness to come out.

But it turns out from my husband, it's like, what is, he has asked me many times, what's wrong? I'm like, nothing. I just had my usual lunch. A kilo of pasta for lunch. I like a tin of cannellini beans just as much as the next person. But turns out it's not normal. So 131060, have you discovered something about your own body that you've gone, hang on a minute, that's not normal?

I thought it was, but it's not. But it's not. I am the only one dealing with this. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 131060, we're talking weird, embarrassing bodies. That's right. Have you had a moment with your own body where you go,

turns out that's not normal? Because, of course, when it's something as intimate as your own being, you just think, this is everyone's situation. Until you're with maybe friends, family, a new partner, where they go, whoa, whoa, mine doesn't do that. Someone asked the internet to reveal unusual things about their body they thought were normal. Someone has said, when I'm underwater, all my friends have said, I can hear faint murmuring. I'd be able to hear a lifeguard.

This person goes, all I hear is a loud deafening roar. It sounds like I'm inside a jet engine. When I go underneath the water. Finally went to an audiologist. Turns out my eardrums are damaged. Oh, jeez. I just thought that's what it sounds like underwater. Oh, wow.

Yeah, you would never know that, hey? Yes. Another person has said, when I'm laying in bed at night and it's really quiet, obviously I'm drifting off to sleep, I can hear jazz music. I just thought- It's the voices in your head again. The neighbors were playing. I always thought it was normal, but every house I've ever lived in is jazz music. I just thought. It's the voices in your head again. The neighbors were playing. I always thought it was normal.

But every house I've ever lived in is jazz music. Again, another audiologist. Turns out I have tinnitus. Tinnitus? That's not good. You know that one? Yeah, tinnitus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're slowly going deaf. But mine manifests as like a jazz music. That's at least nice. At least it's not white noise. As opposed to that high-pitched, piercing, prolonged note. It's like we discussed on this show last year that not everyone can smell rain. That's right. You're one of those people.

I can smell rain. I just thought everyone could, but then we realized until we came on air. Could not smell rain. Only certain people can smell rain. Even like, do you remember our friend who clips his toenails outside and ants take them away? He thought it was normal. No, apparently ants can ascertain. These are good building blocks, like the protein in the toenail, to

build their burrows. Well, toenails are strong, you know. Toenails are strong. We go to Tiffany on 131060. Tiffany, what's going on with your body? So, I always thought it was normal, but I have very long toes. Okay, how long are we talking, Tiffany? Have you got a centimetre measurement for us, or a finger equivalent? So my second toe is at least four centimetres longer than my big toe. Oh, damn. Oh, wow.

Four centimetres is a lot. So do you call that your big toe? Because your big toe can't be your big toe. You're like your rude finger toe. You're like your rude toe. Yeah. Yeah. So my partner pointed it out. He goes, they look like E.T.' rude toe. Yeah. Yeah. So my partner pointed it out.

He goes, they look like E.T.'s fingers. This isn't normal. That's hot. That's sexy. Do you know what? Yes, keep going. I thought, oh, I'll take it to a couple of friends I work with. And they're like, no, this isn't normal.

To the point, people have actually Googled, there's a doctor in the UK that does toe shortening surgery. Do you want to do that or are you proud of your long toe? I love my finger toes. You can carry things with them. You don't need to. Tiffany can pick up a key.

I kid you not, I can put a pen between my toes and write with my... You don't need a handwriting man, me. Can you send us a photo of your toes, write with my... You don't need a handwriting man, me. Tiffany. Can you send us a photo of your toes, Tiff? I want a video of you writing. Yeah, yeah.

How about I make you guys a deal? I'll show you guys tonight at your event that you're going to. Oh, okay. You're going to be there. Okay, get the dogs out, Tiffany. I'm going to wear sandals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it hard for you to buy shoes, Tiff?

Like an open toe heel. Does your toe just come onto the ground? It depends on what sort of style I'm going for. I have to shop certain brands to obviously get the right shoe. Okay, all right. We look forward to that. What's the idea Tiffany sits down for a pedicure and they go, Whoa!

Freak! Hey, Tiff, we've got a Rob on 131060. What's going on with your body, Rob? Morning, guys. Good morning. So only recently, maybe a couple of years ago, I found out from someone that when you go to the toilet and do a number two, it's not normal to always do a number one as well.

Oh, I thought it was. I thought it was. I thought it was. So you do that too, Ducco? You sit down and automatically? I wouldn't say automatically, after the minute you finish two, one will come out. Yeah, or at least during the process, but it's never not happened.

Rob, so you're telling me you sit down to open the back end and your front end goes, I'm going to get involved in this party too. Every time. They're all just open. I thought that was a thing. I thought that happened to people. I thought that was normal. Shy Guy, as the other bloke on the team, do you have this happen

or can you control one at a time? It's definitely happened before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not every time. Not every time. It's a really big one maybe. There you go. Tobin, do you want to weigh in as well?

Yeah, yeah, Tobin's having a few questions. Are you opening your bowels at the same time? Yeah, come on, are you doing both? I would say the same. Not every time. But sometimes. Rob is doing every time. Seems like Rob's doing every time. That's a good way to release yourself, Rob. Totally. At least he's, you know, killing two birds with one stone. Not every time. But sometimes. Rob is doing everything. Seems like Rob's doing everything.

That's a good way to release yourself, Rob. Totally. At least he's, you know, killing two birds with one stone. That's it. Lisa on 131060, what's going on with your body? Lisa. I have a weird tongue, so it's called a world map. And up until I was in high school, I thought it was normal.

So, like, my taste buds are all flared out. It looks really, like, alienated, quite ugly. But, yeah, so it's really bizarre. Is a world map the actual phrase for it? You just call that. This condition is called, I've just Googled world map tongue. This condition is called geographic tongue because the patches make your tongue look like a map.

That's kind of cool. I want to see some images of this. Holy hell, that's not cool. Geographic tongue may look alarming. It looks like you're sick. Whoa. Wow. Do you change your ability to taste food, Lisa?

No, but I'm sensitive to anything like citric or spicy to the point where sweet chilli is extremely hot to me. So you're very sensitive taste buds. You're very sensitive to that. Wow. It looks like it's burnt in patches and stuff like that. Do you remember the first time someone went, what's going on with your tongue, Lisa?

And you thought, what's wrong with my tongue? Yeah, I was year eight or year nine, and all the girls were getting their tongues pierced and, you know, like showing off their tongue piercings and stuff. And then I poked at my tongue and everyone was like, whoa. What's up, man? Wild. Okay, let's go to it.

I've never heard of that. This is great. Amanda, what's going on with your body? Hey, my legs. Like when I sit down with my legs in front of me, I can bend my knees at right angles away from each other. So it looks like I've got my legs sticking out in really weird angles. Like I'm picturing, so you're facing straight

and your knee is like poked out to the right. Yeah, I can do it with both legs. Oh, without actually angling your leg, just your knee can go? No, my whole leg, my whole leg. So it means my bottom leg is sticking out like a right angle. Oh, that's weird. I don't do geometry. I can't picture it.

I need to see a photo, Amanda. Amanda, can you send us a picture or something? Are you hyper-flexible or something? Oh, yeah, double-jointed. I don't know because I can put my feet. Are you going to see how people can put their feet facing each other? I can get my feet facing each other and also facing away. Oh, that's weird.

How bizarre. What a party trick. I need to see photos, Amanda. Send us a photo. DM us, Amanda. I need to visualise. Thank you for your contribution. And we'll wrap it up here with Jo on 131060.

Jo, what's going on with your body? So this one's technically not me. I used to work in audiology. You've had a few audiology ones. Yes, the hearing. Yes. And we had a client come in one day and she told us that, we'll go within the words of Sabrina Carpenter, arrives.

She loses her hearing for five to ten minutes. Oh, sorry. I'm picking up. When she is enjoying herself. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, Jo. Jo, I appreciate your censoring at 8.30. That was the most polite way to say it.

Sabrina Carpenter's arrives. We're too filthy to understand her claims. When the train arrives at the station. From the long bed, Gem, I believe. Oh, Jo, you're amazing. So hang on. So when she arrives, she loses her hearing, did you say? Yes, for five to ten minutes.

What? It deafens her? Must be a hell of a time. But then she proceeded to tell us that the same thing happens to her mother. Oh, my gosh. Genetic. And it was kind of like, how do you have that conversation? Yeah, yeah.

Jess and Ducko. Customise your dream family home with award-winning Baxco homes. Ducko's Baby Registry. This thing has been off chops. You're welcome, everyone, by the way. You're welcome for stuffing up. Yeah. Ducko was left in charge of his That's right. You're welcome, everyone, by the way. You're welcome for stuffing up. Yeah. Ducko was left in charge of his baby's registry,

and when we had a look at this gift registry, his wife included went, what are you thinking? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're an idiot. We don't need this. Your wife is in declutter mode hard.

She is. You're bringing things into the office to give to people. So she doesn't need a lot of this stuff, and she went, just give it all to the rice cookers. Yeah. Very kind of you both. Today's is unbelievable. What is it? It's a robo vac that will also

mop. It's worth upwards of $700. Fantastic. All thanks to Baxco Homes as well. Customise your dream family home with award winning Baxco Homes. They're unbelievable but someone called through very quickly, Jess. That's right. They heard that crying baby just off the back of those embarrassing body contributions.

Ashley, good morning. Hi. Babe. You just want a robo back. You got that robo back. You're going to make me cry. I've been trying to get one for so long. Oh, mate, they're not cheap, are they, Ash?

No, they're not. Well, this one mops and backs for you, okay? It's a two for one. It doesn't do like a lap of vacuum and then a lap of mop. The front vacuums while the back mops. So it follows its own trail. I can see here you've told Sweet Babs that you have four children and with another on the way.

I am, yes. I'm 16 weeks pregnant. Wow, congratulations. Congratulations. Thank you. You don't have any time to fricking vacuum or mop your own house. When would you have the time trying to feed these kids, keep them alive, keep them happy? That would be at the bottom of your to-do list.

It really is. Are you saying this would have been good to keep? Oh, damn it. Oh, well, it's yours now, Ash. We just won't be taking it all. You get that and you get the decanter. So, Ash, I'm not sure if you heard, at the top of the show, Ducko tried to gift to Babs something his wife cleaned out of the house,

an individual glass of wine decanter. Babs went, what are you trying to do, just clear out your cupboards? Yeah, yeah. Turns out, yes, we wanted to attach that to today's prize. Yeah, you can have it too. Would you like it? No worries. Thank you so much.

Yeah, you get a decanter as well. If anyone needs a glass of wine, it's a mum of five. I love a glass of wine, so I'll be hanging. Oh, yeah, 100%. Before we let you go, Ash, because obviously you're a very busy woman, with Ducko's little girl, you know, three weeks away, do you have any advice for these expectant parents? Don't blink because time goes so fast.

Time is such a thief when they're babies. Enjoy the moment. See, that's better than prepare yourself for. Enjoy the sleep deprivation. Sleep now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Ashley, that's so sweet. Thank you, Ash.

No worries. Good luck and congratulations. Appreciate it. You too. And hey, Monday for this. This is great. See, I thought this would be useful, but I don't know what to do when I go to Bunnings. When we talk about baby-specific things, I don't know what you were thinking with this.

It's $1,000 to spend at Bunnings. That's brilliant. Wow! That's an excellent price. I was like, why did you get that? I was like, you know, my tools that I like to get. You own a hatchet. My husband gave you his old lawnmower.

What do you need from Bunnings? I'm whipping that, but it's an electric mower. I'm using that this week for the first time this weekend. Oh, that's exciting. What a weekend! Jess and Ducko. Jeez, we need to play Shy Guy's Diary. It's been a hell of a week.

It's the first full week that Shy Guy and I have done. Well done, you two. Congratulations. We made it through. We made five days. It was one week. Hey, man, only in the moment. That's a long time.

Shy Guy's had a few sick days in our time doing this show together, hasn't he, Jess? That's Rob. All the scabies flare-ups. He worked it into his contract. There will be no questions asked. Babs, what's Shy Guy's scabie flare-up count now? How many sick days has he had? Probably about, like, 20.

Yeah. 20. It. 20. It's unbelievable. Jesus. He's cheeky, though. He just puts it in his bereavement leave because he's run out of sick days. Yeah, no one knows. Care is leave.

What do you think? Bereavement is when someone's died. Do we get that? Yeah, we get that. Yeah, that's a thing. Don't look so excited about it. Oh, no. Anyway, here's the diary. Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko.

The team's back in fine form after half of us got struck down with something gross last week. So I thought, what better way to celebrate the band getting back together again than with a cheeky Macca's run? Shy Guy's just done a cheeky Macca's order for us because everyone's feeling a little bit, you know, 25% capacity. No, no, no, no. Let's go through who's ordered the freaking Macca's in this room.

I was going to say, there's only two of us getting it and it's not me or Ducko. There's two of us who've been here room. I was going to say, there's only two of us getting it, and it's not me or Ducco. There's two of us who've been here all week, and we didn't. Oh, they do two shorts together, and now they're just. We didn't order the maccas. You're getting a copy. The two wheezes over there got themselves 17 hazelnuts. Ducco goes, I can't just have one.

I'd have to have two, so you best get me none. All right, Mr. Fitness. Well, I'll put in a full week, eh? You put in a full week and then we'll see who's laughing. Jess brought a trampoline into the studio. She wasn't very clear on how it came into her possession, though. I must have bought this and just obviously put it in the garage and never pulled it out again.

What a waste, as per usual. And Angus looked at me kind of sheepishly and went, no, no, I bought that. I went, what? Did you want to do tramp fitness? Why did you buy a mini trampoline? Well before Lucia was ever going to, you know, show this display of wanting to jump. He went, I read somewhere that starting your day with a bounce

was good for your body. And I have never been more in love with him. Starting your day with a bounce is one of the lamest things I have ever heard. How dare you? The next day, we thought we'd take up Gus's advice

to start our day with a bounce. And Jess is over there having a bounce. Yesterday I told you about my husband buying a mini tramp because he read somewhere starting your day with a bounce. And Jess is over there having a bounce. Yesterday I told you about my husband buying a mini tramp because he read somewhere, starting your day with a bounce is a good way to start your day. This is sounding fantastic. How's this going for all your phlegm in there? Do you know what?

It's not great for the braless titties or for the four kilos of hair that I've got sewn in my head. But I've got to tell you. It's hard on the joints, actually. I was on it before having a bounce. It feels fun. Give me a bounce. Give me a bounce while we're here.

Yeah, you're going to do like the workout version. How do you feel? Can you feel your endorphins? I feel like a child. It is very childlike, isn't it? Yeah, it's really fun. I understand it doesn't sound great on air, but... Who's to say?

We're all very excited for Ducko's baby, which is due very, very soon. His poor wife, Morgan, though, needed a hand with something south of the border, if you know what I mean. She goes, I don't want you to do heaps because I don't trust you that much, and personally, I didn't trust myself that much.

Oh, does she? She doesn't want the triple A. No. She just wants a little tidy up. Just a little tidy up. Let's just do it. Let's just do the maintenance while we can.

So when your girl pushes out in four weeks she's got a bit of a clear thorough through. We're not getting through the weeds. She's not. She doesn't need to come out

with her own little bushwhack. She's not coming out as cousin it. You know? Where's the kids? Hold on. Is she in here anywhere? Jesus. She's come out with a lot of hairwhack. She's not coming out as Cousin It, you know? Where's the kid? Hold on, is she in here anywhere? Jesus. Gee, she's come out with a lot of hair.

Oh, no, that's not her. Is this the Amazon? What are we in here right now? Call me Indiana Jones. The Temple of Doom. Oh, man. Anyway, so did you tidy it up? Yeah, I tidied it up.

I had no cuts. No cuts. Good on you. I he said, you tied it up. Yeah, I tied it up. And I had no cuts. No cuts. Good on you. I'm proud of you. Put that on your resume. Shaves, Lady K. Speaking of adding things to your resume, we got talking about LinkedIn earlier in the week.

Do you have a LinkedIn? Yeah, I never post. Is it just Shy Guy? It's your full name. Yeah, I know. I was wondering, I've congratulated you on your anniversaries every year. You don't even give me a thumbs up on LinkedIn. I was going to say.

The only person who does that is Rob Faccione. Every so often, if I happen to get an email randomly from LinkedIn, it's Rob Faccione has congratulated you on your anniversary at SCA. Thanks, Dad. Well, I endorsed you in Microsoft Word. Randomly from LinkedIn, it's Rob Faccione has congratulated you on your anniversary at SCA. Thanks, Dad. Well, I endorsed you in Microsoft Word. Abs, you have LinkedIn? You're young and up and coming?

Yeah, I do. Really? I had to make it as a project for uni. Oh, I want to see your LinkedIn. Wow. What did you put as your career skills? I said creative. Oh, my bad.

Well, that's it for this week. And remember, steer clear of the bath and mouth. Jess has paid a visit. Have you smelt her over there? She's been letting them go. No. I just did the stinkiest s***. Oh, my God.

I wouldn't go to the bathroom for a bit, Babs. It was awful. And then someone came in. I was like, s***, and it wasn't your shoes. I was like, s***, s***, I've got to get out of here before they see it's me. A tin of candelini beans, guys. That'll do it for you. See you next week, Rice Cookers.

Jess and Ducko. Corner of fame. Corner of fame. Corner of fame. We're the pros. It's a co-pod. It's a co-pod. We've got a co-pod, baby. We've got a co-pod.

It is a Newcastle Food Month experience, all thanks to Crystal Kingsley. You get a little foodie sleepover. Foodie sleepover. One night's accommodation. But $500 cash to enjoy all that is on offer across April. You just needed to get involved in the show. Yep. And in the depths of the morning, Ducco, before the sun had risen.

There was a lot of great contributions today. I couldn't have given it to any of them, particularly the body stuff. But there were some really good ones early. That's right. You wanted to ask, what got you in the face? What got you in the face? After you told us about a Russian octopus. A Russian octopus squirting ink in the face

and latching onto someone's face. That's right. Yeah. True story. Leanne called up. Yeah. Leanne called up and gave us this. Well, I was watching out at a laundry

and it was like my second day in and I was shaving my sheets out and a used condom flicked me in the cheek. Leanne. Leanne, so it's gone through the wash, wrapped up in the sheets. No, no, it hasn't even gone through the wash. Oh, no.

So you were just emptying, like airing out the sheets to put it in the wash. Yeah, to put them in. And it's just flicked up. On your second day. Oh. Was that in your training, Leanne? Oh, no.

Like when you were going through your induction? No, no. It was like in my second day in that section. But yeah, it was horrible. I was running off, screaming. Ugh. In my face. Surely after experiencing that, she deserves a little nice experience.

Would have thought so. Don't you think, Leanne? Woo-hoo! Thank you. The old fringer got you the prize. There is so much going on across April, Leanne. That'll put that out of your mind, you know? That's amazing.

Thank you so much. Well, thank you for getting involved in the show and sharing. Yeah, sharing that. That's a story. That's a story you can never forget, and we loved it, so thank you. How much longer did you work at that laundromat? Or was that like... Another 10 years.

Another 10 years. Stuck it out. You really stuck it out. Surely nothing was as bad as that day. No, I've had other things hit me in the face from there, but not as bad as that. Well, enjoy, Le not as bad as that. Well, enjoy, Leanne.

You deserve it. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Leanne. We'll see you out and about in April. And don't forget, next week, my baby registry keeps going. I think next week's prizes are even better, if not just as good. Have you stepped it up?

Well, Monday's $1,000 to spend at Bunnings. You think that's better than a robo-vac that mobs? Well, I mean... To each their own. Some people get their rocks off at Bunnings for $1,000 to spend at Bunnings. You think that's better than a robo-vac that mops? Well, I mean... To each their own. Some people get their rocks off at Bunnings for $1,000. My goodness. It would go a long way. It would. Trades would see it now and go, oh, yeah.

One of the most common responses when people play Alpha Bucks for $10,000 is I want to do some DIY around the house. Yeah. In the garden, in the home, some renos, $1,000. Bang. That's going a long, long way. Hey, we're out of here. If you missed it, grab the podcast.

Back next week, the gift registry. We have another call of fame as well, which is fantastic. Alpha Bucks. Babs is here. Shy Guy's here. Jess is here. I'm here. Let's see what else Ducko brings from his cupboards at home because his wife is nesting

and needs to clean out the clutter. For some reason, she thinks everyone at work wants all our old stuff. Hey, we're out of here. Enjoy your weekend. Bye-bye. Bye. Can you do an oh my god in pirate? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh my god. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Hot honey has dropped at Macca's for a limited time only. Embrace the drip.