Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Is this what life gets like when you turn 30?

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Were we underdressed at our own event? Jess found some cringe things while packing up the house and Ducko pissed off the neighboursSubscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trying the cafe's new blend today. Smoother, bolder, better. I'm loving it. Jess and Ducco. This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Welcome to the podcast, everyone. You had a tidbit you said I'll share in the podcast. Was this about our event?

About our event. Could obviously say it on air. And I couldn't say last Friday's podcast. Do we need to scream explicit content? Uh, yeah. What is it? It's not explicit, but it's our rated theme. All right, let me do it.

Yep. Content warning! You've been warned. So we were at the dinner last night. So we've gone to the driving range, it was on last Thursday, played the golf, we're all drunk. Like I know for a fact, when we got back to our rooms, Jess, I know you and I were pretty loaded by that stage.

Babs was the drunkest I've seen her. We were drunk of wine and the vibe, which is a deadly combination. Yeah, yeah, it was a good, because one of those feelings where you're day drunk and you think this is the best feeling ever. I'm gonna live forever! I'm gonna live forever. And then a couple hours later it gets dark, you guys are getting

up in the morning, you're like, stop drinking idiot. I know, I kept thinking, ah, weekend. Nope, it's a Thursday. My goodness. I think we all slipped into it. Yes. It was fun. Yeah, well I dropped my bag like five times in one go. You didn't drop your bag, you crazy son of a bitch! No, you're like, fuck, how did I not hear about this?

No. Shit, you're mental. Whatever. You said to me like, why should I go to? And I was like, I've been having that sparkling rose. No, as in like I started losing function of my hands. Oh my god, you fucking menace. Did you drink at the dinner or had you stop by then? No I was, that was

pretty much where I was solely drinking. At the dinner? I thought you were drinking the golf course? Yeah but not that much. She was on content at the golf course so she had her hands full. This lady just kept putting wine in my hands and then waiting and standing watching me drink. Yeah it's a ripe period in the dinners when you know when to drink and then when to when to call it Yeah, like I was drinking all day and then I got I think we'd finished the eating component I was like now we need to nurse. I was shoveling in potatoes. I was like, let's get some food in. I think because we were hungry. That's why we all got so drunk so quick. I think so. I think so. Anyway, we've sat down to the dinner

I've got a guy on my right and a lady on my left. Now the lady on my left was very intoxicated and she starts, you know, thank you so much for having us, like a bit sad, like could never afford something like this, the kids, it starts going to a bit of a somber sort of story. A bit of a darker place. Okay, you know, just, I'm glad you could come, I'm glad you get to enjoy this. Turn to my right and there's a guy just like not really talking to me and I go, hey mate what's your name? Oh fuck I can't say his name but it's funny when you know his name. Can you give an equivalent name for the same vibe? Yeah, okay, okay. Okay sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, what's your name? He goes, my name's Bob. And I go,

and I go, oh hey Bob how you going? He was clearly like the plus one. Yeah. And he goes, I've just taken four grams of mushrooms. Oh god. Now pardon my ignorance, sucko. Not well versed with mushrooms. So you eat those, right? You shovel them in. So I go four grams. For example, a gram of mushrooms is like you're, you know, you're having a pretty good time. Like all you need is a gram.

Yeah. He's had four. Four is like you're seeing dragons. Like four is like, I said to him, I was like. So right now you talking to him, he's thinking it's Puff the Magic Dragon talking to- Well hasn't hit yet. He goes, I'm just taking them. And I'm like, oh! And he goes, I'm starting to freak out. I'm starting to think this was the wrong event to take mushrooms at. And I was like, what do you mean? An event where you don't know anyone, everyone's small, so-

I was like, nah bruh. For the radio where everyone has their phones, they're filming, we're gonna talk about it the next day. Great event to do it. I just go to him, you're all good mate. Just ride it out baby. You're in a safe place. This is all we need, you'll be fine. Daddy Ducko's got you.

We're all good. The dinner goes on, I can tell he's progressively, I'm kind of having fun now, like talking to him, now I start like including him, hey Bob, did you hear about what these guys are doing? Just like throwing in the bob-bos. You have an opinion on this? Yeah, yeah. Then you got everyone on the D floor, right? So I get him up on the D floor, and he did not want to be in the D floor. He's like, too many eyes on me, having to manipulate

all four of my limbs. I see him sitting back down, he puts his hat on, looking at the table by himself staring at the lights. The person he was with, was it a friend or a partner? I think it was a partner. And was she? She was fine. She knew. She was like, oh yeah, yeah. And she hadn't taken anything. So he's on this journey on his own. Completely solo.

And you know what? He was not even the worst behaved there. He was totally fine. It was just so funny that the difference of people I had on either side. I had this sad, somber... Therapy session. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had this like, I'm on four grams of shrooms, baby.

Were you like, have you got any leftover? We need to spark her up a little bit. She is real down. He, uh, he certainly offered me some. And I was like, I'm good, man. I'm going to do the show tomorrow. I love the idea. He had maybe what, let's say six grams on him. And he went, I'll take four. I'll just leave the other two in me back pocket. You just never know. You never know. It was so funny. Sharing is caring. I was seeing a couple of groups break off at various points of the evening. I just thought, are they swapping numbers? Are we just getting to know each other? I'm like, actually, what are you guys doing? What are you guys

doing? Are you guys coordinating something for later, later, later in the night? The less we know, the better. To be fair though, to be fair, if you'd want tickets away a night away when you're not seeing your kid and stuff, you're getting, like you just get loose. And night away when you're not seeing your kids and stuff, you're getting loose. Like you just get loose. And there is an element of not knowing anyone. Yeah, it's fun. The level of anonymity. You won't know it except for us. Exactly.

A lot of them we didn't see the next day. Like we only saw six the next day. Do you know, absolutely, totally. And they're the ones who came to the room. I for some reason thought we might cross paths maybe afterwards at breakfast upon checkout. But either people were sleeping in, had checked out earlier or had plans. So no, exactly, we didn't see anyone. We didn't see anyone.

We gave everyone a late checkout so that they could be. Oh, there you go. That's when I saw some people at breakfast. I can't remember their names. Oh, did they speak to you? Yeah. Were they sheepish, though? Or hang their heads in sheep.

Yeah, they were sheepish. They were hungover. Oh, yeah, it was feeling. I'm glad everyone went and made the most of it and joined themselves. What about the couple, while we were doing the show that we're rooting in the room next to us? Absolutely.

Did we get onto that that was our people? Yeah, that were our people. Because I had seen them on the balcony. Were these the ones who had the window? Yeah. The ovulation were trying to make a baby? Oh, I think so. Yeah.

I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder how it went. Jesus, we learned a lot about people in a short period of time, didn't we? Absolutely. Yeah. But not- We share, they share.

Yeah. That's true. And once again, I just want to shout out to Bob who survived the night. I wish we'd seen Bob the next day. I wish he'd been one of the people who'd knocked on our door. Yeah. You surprised me or didn't? You kept inviting everyone.

Absolutely. Do you know what? A part of me when we kept yelling out the room number, I went, oh, please don't come at 2am. I thought maybe silly buggers, but no one. However, I'm a very heavy sleeper, so maybe they did and I didn't hear it. Or people just forgot the number. number totally or once they'd heard Oh, no, the flooding of the bathroom and they came out the next day

Oh, yeah once when we're doing the speech like you and me were chatting and stuff like cuz we're dribbling on for a bit Mm-hmm. They like they were into like I was looking around I was like cuz I'm a bit drunk right now But people are maggot people a mugger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah people were intoxicated smashing glasses Yeah, people were intoxicated. Right. Smashing glasses. Smiling about. On the dance floor.

No, nothing. No one is mad, it's crazy. That's over here dropping her handbag. You two just have a little cheeky grin amongst each other. Yeah, that wasn't anything, though. You can never dig out of anything. Like everything comes out of your mouth is so disgusting. It sounds so sus because we harp on about it.

It looks like you guys are just like, hmm. Like a little moment. No. OK. No. The lady that we tried to put her shoes back on, that was funny. Yeah. Yeah.

She was. She got carried out. Good on though for making the most of it. Absolutely. When it's free. And I think that's the vibe we attract. I went for a walk with two women because she didn't like what was on offer. Granted there was every alcohol under the sun.

She wanted something really specific. What did she want? She was the one who only wanted champagne. Champagne. Yeah. She wanted champagne. I went to the bar with her and they were like, we got red, we got white, we got beer,

and she goes, I don't drink any of that. We got gin and tonic, we've got cocktails. And I said to her, it's fucking free, just take something. So I must have then picked her up. We've walked all the way to the bar in the main restaurant bar area. Me and another woman with this lady, we've gone straight up to the bar and she's like,

can I get a bottle of champagne? I went, are you gonna pay for a bottle of champagne? They took one look at her and went, sorry, the bar's closed. We're only doing coffees. Like whilst one of the other bartenders was pouring a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, you go, wait, I've read the room very quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very quickly.

So she didn't get it. No, they didn't serve it. I think that was like RSA. They didn't serve it. They were like, sorry. And you'd gone on the walk with her. I'd gone on the walk with her. Granted, I love a bit of fresh air, it's a nice, nice sky, look at the stars.

But we trudged our way back and I went, just have a glass of white wine. Honestly, just block your nose and drink it. Absolutely. I want a champagne. Have a crack. I mean, gin is tasteless, just have that. But you know what got me? She had had whites, reds and cocktails and she wanted a champagne.

I went, once you've made it to that end of the alcohol spectrum, you can't go back to bubbles. Also. That's the start of the night. That red we had from Leo Gate was fucking great. Oh, see I like the Elborn. Yeah, but the Leo Gate one was the one I think. The Shiraz. The Shiraz. So we all had that bottle in our rooms.

Oh! I had that on Saturday night as well. Oh, have you? It was like 20 bucks, that bottle. Yeah, that's way too cheap for how good that was. I mean, at the tasting, I really enjoyed it. It was nice. It was really good. The Elbon I always feel bad, but that's the best part of a tasting. He's poured what he said was top shelf, named after the grandson or the son. This is our best. I went, I don't like it. Give me the Elbon.

But everything on offer was just exceptional. So one of the one of the winemakers got angry at me, guys, just saw it. He's like, cause I've been like drinking beer and then I went to the first guy, I had a few of his wines, I was playing golf and I was drinking beer and the very end, like 10 minutes ago, I was like, hey mate, thanks for coming.

He's like, you've been avoiding me all day. So I just had like six of his in a row. Yeah, cool. Well, you got him back on side. And it was good too, I really enjoyed it. And it was actually funny because you then said, I'll want to buy that. And he went, oh yeah, it's in your room. It's like, I've tried to now give you money.

I was like, I'm just trying to throw money at the problem. For an event that money was not meant to change hands, you were happy to throw money. God, I didn't pay for a thing, how nice was it? That was so accommodating up there. I was told, so you were playing golf the next day, and obviously if you get a present, I get a present, so they booked me in for a facial.

I was told, Babs, you're're gonna be mad, 45 minute facial. I roll in, she sits me on the edge of the bed she goes, right so what we'll be doing today is a full body exfoliation, the full body wrap, you'll have the 30 minute facial, scalp massage, foot massage and, sorry, I was told this was 45 minutes. She goes, no, it's 75. And I was like, bang! Hang on a minute, can you say that again? Cause I don't know what the, what's a body wrap? Oh, so firstly exfoliates, like a full body scrub to really-

Yeah, like a soap on you, yeah. It's a scrub, not a soap. But then she wrapped me in like hot towels. So then all the lotions and potions can really be cocooned in. And then she rubbed my head. Were you naked when that happens? Unfortunately, I had my period.

So I had to wear my period undies. She's like, I'll leave you modest. I was like, thank you so much. Cause she originally said, here's the disposable panties. And I was like, I can't wear the disposable panties cause that will be bad. So yeah, I had to have the undies on. Did you guys sync up on that trip or were we? No, it was the week before.

Oh, we're out of sync again. I think we're out of sync. Jesus, no. Anyway. Anyway. So anyway, I would have been otherwise because I would have loved my bum to have been exfoliated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been funny.

That'd be a weird feeling. Start playing the bongos. It's a bit too serious sometimes in those places and the soft voices and the weird music. It would be funny if they broke the tension with a little bit of bong bongos. Does she talk to you during it? Only to ask how's the pressure. Oh, that's good. And it was fantastic. I thought she might be like, oh, so you did the radio thing here and how was it all? And then sometimes- Did you flood your bathroom is? You didn't know it? She actually said how's your stay been so far?

And I went to go into it, I went, she doesn't need to know it so far. Just rub my body please. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, good times. Good times, man. Yeah, anyway. So that was my experience at the dinner.

Did you guys sit next to good people? I sat opposite the guy who wouldn't shut up about how underdressed we were. So that was a really fun time for me. Big year, dude. Yep. He told me it's okay to have fun. Oh, that guy? Were you looking a little bit serious or something? I didn't want to dance with him because he was annoying me Oh, that's very fair then

Standing you're out right? I was like no, I'm good. Thanks. He was like, it's okay to have fun I was like, I'm aware. I hate when people do that. You don't get to decide what my version of fun is I hate when people do that. I was like I am fun insane. You and. Insane, you and Shaggy are on the side of the dance floor, arms crossed, scowling at people. Staring everyone down. I refuse to be on this guy's side, Ducko. We're on Babs' side. I call you internal rages.

You guys are glowing on the inside. Yeah, we're having fun. How many FaceTimes did you have to do though, Ducko? Oh yeah, a couple. Yeah, me too. We FaceTimed England at one point. We were FaceTiming across the globe. That girl who couldn't make it. Yeah. That girl who couldn't make it.

Yeah, the girl who couldn't make it. Yeah, the one put me onto a kid and her husband was at home with the kid. I'm talking to the kid and he's about to go to bed. I'm like, all right, well, better get into bed then. Goodnight, buddy. It's funny too because you're talking to someone and people rock up with the phone and go, here's my son, can you just FaceTime them? And you're like, oh, hey. 100%. Sure. Good times. Sure.

Good times. I had opposite us. They were, did they were school moms? Yeah, it was actually really cute. So they met because their kids, did they get in trouble or something? The kids got in trouble, I think. Yeah. And then the parents had to come together to resolve it.

Oh, that's so funny. The kids were fighting. Yeah. And now they're really good mates. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Bonding in trauma.

Yeah. But that was funny. Yeah. Good people though. On that funny. Yeah. Bonding in trauma. Yeah. But they were funny. Yeah. On that note. On that note guys, enjoy. Bonding in trauma. Broadcasting live. I'm running and doing it all I want is to do it. Turn it up, turn it up. It's about to go off. Jess.

I saw your plug hole the other day. Ducko. I want a six inch. Producer Shy Guy. Stop, stop it. Stop even watching. Producer Babs. I'm 24 years old.

I don't know. Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducko. Lights, camera, action. Howdy, howdy, let's go rowdy. Welcome to a fresh can. Rip off a fresh can of a brand new week. Happy Monday. Tastes good, smells good. Feels fantastic. Yep. Good morning. Good morning. Wonderful to be back in studio. Yes. However, I must say, could have got used to what we were doing Friday morning. Dressing gowns and free brekkie and...

And a fireplace. And talking about the night that was. Oh! Ha ha! Gotta tell you, my Sunday wasn't nearly as rowdy as last Thursday. Thursday was great times. Oh my god, I'll be dining out on those memes and those good vibes for a long time. Truly was probably the best thing I think we've ever done with listeners.

No doubt. 100%. No doubt. With Rice Cookers. So much fun. The video's up as well on our Instagrams, you can check it out. Don't want to get FOMO, but god it was good. We'll do something, I think we'll finish off the year pretty strong too.

I know we're only halfway. I think we've set a standard there, Ducco, because we are already looking to the end of the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After the execution of that and the overnight stay, I think that was the real clincher for me. And you know what made it good though, I think I was trying to babble about this, the fact that when we did do the driving range, it gave us all an activity. So it wasn't just like a lunch or a, it was kind of something to do. It was a bit different. Truly. Have you heard and read all these articles that are coming out,

people making TikToks on it now, we get caught in the catch-up trap where with our mates and even, I'm going to extend it to the rice cookers, we met for the first time because now solid mates. Always. We do, oh let's do a lunch or let's go out for drinks. We're not making new memories that way because we're just sitting around a table. Yeah drinking beers. It's a good time but we're not locked in like we were when we were kids with an activity. Yeah activity is key. Or an experience. Whereas doing the golf to start off with we sort of got the giggles and we were able to just focus on the task not be constantly having to make eye contact. Yeah. Which alleviates the pressure. Yeah, but not less small talk but then there was still lines flowing so there was a bit of talk going on. And then as we loosen up a little bit we we're having more fun, we're making jokes.

I think activity is key. Activity is definitely key. And then, yes, overnight was very good too. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I was going to say to unlock something childlike within us, but then I really enjoyed the wine. So let's not eliminate the alcohol. But how could we swing in a few clubs while drinking a few wines?

Because I felt so like incompetent in one area and then sophisticated in another and the marrying of those worlds. Hey, hey, you had lessons, you were incompetent. I had a handful of advice. I enjoyed your video yesterday. I was still thinking about the fact that you had lessons all week. You're like, I was just laughing to myself. Like, that's so funny. Thank you for your commitment to the cause. I hope the most part you're proud of me is I was able to keep that a secret from you. Did you have video footage of my face

from when you had the air swing? You know what? No. That's- So frustrating. I didn't even get vision, yes, to bring the rice cookers in if you missed it. I've been doing about three, four weeks of lessons. Brilliant.

Because I wanted shock and awe. I wanted Duffer's Jaw to hit the floor and just going, oh my God, we found the thing. She's natural. You know, I'm looking for that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm shock and awe, I wanted Duffo's jaw to hit the floor and just going, oh my god we found the thing, she's natural. You know I'm looking for that thing. I'm naturally gifted at it. And if you had pulled that natural eye, you'd have... We would have gone viral man, but I couldn't execute. And yes, my first eye swung nowhere near that ball. I didn't get that vision. I don't think anyone... Damn, because um... No one was trained on you and you. No, yeah. The vision on me is what was key. But you needed that.

But like watching the video back, seeing like you hit those shots. If you'd hit a shot like that, I'd have been like, whoa! Cause some of that's... and that's why it's my own ego. I'm tickling there. But some of those ones I did capture in training, half decent, right? It's golf, man. Golf, man. Yeah. And it's all thanks to your coach, Mitch. We've got to give him another shout out.

Yeah, Mitchie. Very... and I just feel so bad. I'm not a good enough footballer. Cause he's genuinely a really good coach. Yeah yeah. And I just didn't execute for him. Like I've said to you a million times, now you're playing real golf. You've got the yips, you've worked out what it's like, changing environment, people watching

you, choking up. Cause I reckon if it was just you I was performing for, I actually may have been able to execute. It was the silence. silence yeah 20 people staring yeah and also like you're outdoors for the first time you're in you club you're putting a tea in the ground yourself yeah what was that about? I've never even touched a tea. To be honest I was actually thinking that's kind of Mitch's fault for not getting your game ready well do you know what's funny? We were gonna go to your golf course where he is the pro. But it was flooded. Well it was flooded and we thought too high risk Ducco will rock up. That's true. So we had to eliminate you appearing. I'd have been so funny if you were there one day and I was there and you were trying to hide. Conditions were not... Well now we just need to build another thing that I can secretly train for now. So if we can decide the activity for December, give me a six month run up, not a three week run up.

Oh, so funny. But no, I did really enjoy the process. Good. God, I wish I was able to do it on a date. Hey, that's golf. I think it's more, I'm more proud that you didn't. I'm more proud you took an air swing and then you took a cold top and then you sliced it. That's what we do. One of the snippets, we've got so much content, we'll eke out. We won't just flood our page with golf stuff now. But it was.

We've become a golf show in the last couple of days. We really have. We need to just switch gears a bit. And you know what? You're not going to believe it. My husband has a team building thing today with his work. Guess what they're doing? Are they golfing?

They're golfing. That's so funny. He refused to wear our vest. Our custom. That's just so good. Thank you. He's like, no thanks. I went, I'm supporting you. Wear it. It's got Jess and Daka on it. Just so good. Thank you. He's like, no thanks.

I went, I'm supporting you. Wear it. It's got Jess and Duck on it. Just wear it. I know. He's like, no thanks. How did he go when you got home after you'd flooded your bathroom and had a big one on the first day?

Was he like disappointed in you? Do you know what? He sadly wasn't surprised, but my mum called me and she said, Jessica, that was all for the radio, wasn't it? That was a bit of theatre, wasn't it? I said, sadly mum? No, it wasn't. It's was a bit of theatre, wasn't it? I said, sadly mum, no it wasn't. It's like what's happened to you?

So good. So she was really a... Not a proud parenting moment there, having heard that, Ducker. I laughed, I got... It was good. I mean, all of us drinking wines and doing a bit of a hungover show on Friday was great team bonding. Oh, I couldn't agree more.

Again, I couldn't agree more. In our PJs, in our robes. But how was the rest of your weekend my friend? You stayed on and played? I stayed on and played. Yeah, yeah. And I tell you what, I didn't hit him as good as I was hitting him on the range. That's golf. That's golf. But it was good. Did that and then did the Today show yesterday, which we'll get into. Well I had the pleasure of seeing you in action yesterday. Yeah, you were there. Yeah, yeah. Sure I didn't get to come. Sure, I didn't show up. I was sleeping. Yeah.

Well, Sunday. Still sleeping. Yeah, I sent a message to the group. I was like, if you guys want to come there, I'll interview you. We'll put on the show. Yes. Yeah. Crickets.

Crickets. Yeah. That's all right. Yeah. Not even a single reply. It was like, oh, we've done our time. Yeah. We've had an overnight stay with you.

We're not coming out on a Sunday. Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. I wasn't trying on a Sunday. Yeah, yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. I wasn't trying to make it a chore, sorry. I thought we would level jump after last week's Dukko. It would appear we have not. We never have.

You going well out there Babs, you recovered? I'm recovered, yeah. Feeling good? Feeling good. Okay. Well, we've got a big week team. We absolutely do, namely our Call of Fame Dukko. Yeah, this is great. week team. We absolutely do namely our call of fame duck Oh, yeah, this is great

You were double pass the state of origin game three plus accommodation Thanks to Regis Australia square in Sydney you get involved in the show today throughout the week Someone's walking away with that Friday at the end of the show Come on. I mean it's gonna sell out. It's a decider. It's a decider And now look if I look to the board we've got two opportunities where we're genuinely going to say call 13 10 60. You don't need that. You call whenever you want. Whenever you want to get involved.

That's right. Up next though, I do want to unpack, Sharga, something happened when I was doing the Today Show yesterday. Jess was there. One of her mates, I chatted to her to market and it sent me back the entire day. Oh no. The whole day. Oh no. Oh yeah. I think I know where this is going. Oh no. The whole day. Oh no.

Yeah, yeah. I think I know where this is going. Oh no. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. So yesterday I had the pleasure, team, of doing the weather again for the Today Show. Got to do it locally, I was at some markets, right in Newcastle, right? That's right.

Just touching base with the farmers, the people who prop up this country. Yep. Some great fresh produce over Sunday. There were some real characters there. Got to meet some great characters. Got to eat some goat's milk ice cream. Oh, Babs, that's a win. It's good for your guts.

Goat's milk ice cream. It's, yeah. I have to give it a crack. Yeah, it tastes nice. We wake up Sunday morning and I was like, hey, me mates at the market turned you on the telly and you were gobbling some ice cream. And my first thought was duck. Oh, you don't need ice cream in winter.

Then you talked about, yes, good smell, good for the RBS. For the tum tum. There was a bunch. I was trying to get a bunch of kids in that shot actually. And then the mom and dad are like, it's dark. I'm from Jess and duck. Oh, we listen every day. You want to be on the, um, do you want to be on the TV?

And they're like, no, no. These sound like sassy older kids. We need younger, less, less jaded. They were like, no, I'm not interested. No. Do you want free ice cream to be on TV? No. No. And I finally found some kids.

Here you go, kids. I told them it was ice cream. They had ice cream and I told them it was goats ice cream. They were like, ugh. It's not made from goats. It's made from goats milk, kids. Smile. But there was one guy at the end.

Now I'd been eating a fair bit of different things all day right? Because it was like go around the markets, chip on a stick here, have some avo toast, have some ice cream, like little nibbles of things, pretzels. Have a pretzel shaped like an octopus. The pretzel guy was great, the pretzels were fantastic. Yes, we usually get one of those. You then told me go see my mate at the garlic, he does the best garlic and he was a legend. His name's Craig, he and his wife Rosalie, they run a hell of an operation, they got the big garlic. He does the best garlic and he was a legend. His name's Craig. Craig the garlic man.

He and his wife Rosalie, they run a hell of an operation. They got the big garlic. Yeah. The big garlic I like. And I went and Jess was like, it's the garlic guy. And I was like, hey, he's like, mate, we make 10 tonnes of garlic or whatever. I'm like, that's a lot of garlic. And anyway, we're doing the thing and chatting and all throughout the show. Shag, I've been theming like I've been eating and whatever. And then he gets me to he gets a clove of garlic, like a full clove.

And he's like, take a bite on TV. And when you say full clove, Shaggy, this is Russian garlic, elephant garlic, not your little Spanishy vibe from Woolworths. One, one clove is about the size of a normal bowl. Like it is big. I have a bite, I bite half of it, swallow it. And they're like, you might hear like, oh, I have more or whatever. Like, so on TV, obviously I got peer into it, rubber arm. I ate the full thing

of garlic. And at the time, like it burnt, like it burnt my throat. I mean, raw garlic. It's raw garlic. It still tasted good. It was just like, you know, whole thing of garlic. Yeah. No, no, no, no one wants that much garlic. No, I was putting that on a plate. No one's putting that on a plate. Also at 9.30 AM. Oh my God. After you've had gelato, chip on a stick, avo toast, goat's ice cream, all that sort of stuff, all of a sudden then my guts were not well. That was just like the straw that broke the camel's stomach. And for people who do FIBS, garlic can be a trigger.

Not so much for mine, but it can be a trigger for people. Too much garlic. Actually, yeah, when people do like the FODMAP and the elimination diet, garlic gets removed. Isn't it? So I can obviously have garlic. We have it in things, but I've never eaten a whole garlic clove. That's a Russian garlic clove thing. That's fair.

That was massive raw. And mate. Also, can I just say you didn't miss a beat. I was off to the side. You kept having to talk to Craig. You ended up reading the weather out. You really had to, you had to rally. I had to work. I had to rally for it.

And the rest of the day, my breath stunk so much. I cleaned my teeth, I had gum, I ate different things. All I can taste was garlic. Morgan was like, all I can smell on you is garlic. And then my guts are just like, gurgling away for the rest of the day. January, Morgan's like, is that your stomach? I'm like, I think it was the garlic. Do you know, so as I said, I was standing with your wife just off camera, off to the side, you actually, at one point, I think you took half a bite. Cause again, you probably need three bites to get through one clove. You said anyone and turned around and did you see everyone?

No one wants raw garlic. What are you doing? It's early on a Sunday. I went, I'd love to help you out, Ducko, but even I don't want that. Can you try it out for me? Jess and Ducko. Morning Club. Chapel.

That's a hard out for Chapp. She's like, I'm done. See ya. Putting my time shade in. I'm over. If that isn't the most Gen Z out of a song. No, no, I'm not being paid beyond this. I'm done. I'm done. See you later. See ya. Door's closed. It's 5pm. I don't know you. Exactly. I think we made that out of a song. No, no, I'm not being paid beyond this. I'm done. I'm done. See you later. See ya. Doors closed. It's 5pm. I don't know you. Exactly. I think we made that edit. Yeah, we probably did. I don't think that was all jumbled. Yeah, I think that was the hit.

Don't really illusion. That's the hit. I don't mind the tail light because I can talk over it. Doesn't this have to have... I mean, that's how radio works. Who cuts that and says, we don't like it and just cuts it? That's a great question. Why does that happen? Who makes that decision? Like, I was going to say no offence to this person. I think I mean offence. Yeah. You think you know better than Chappell though.

I know. That's how the song's intended. She has released this piece of art. Yeah. To the world. This is why she's so angry in all her interviews, because people are cutting her songs up left, right and center. Yeah.

Geez. I'm sorry, Chappell, actually. Yeah. I really apologize. We apologize to you, Chapp. Do we work to getting that amended, Chagall? Do we get the non-short edit in there? The only way we're ever going to interview Chappell Rhone. We just brushed it all together.

It doesn't live. Well, okay. Moving on. Yeah. From an angry Chappell Rhone to, I don't know, people sad about their derrières, Ducco. Yeah. Good friend of the show, Sam Wood. I think we've had him on once or twice. Former bachelor. Wood?

Wood. Sam Woody? Sam Wood, you know him from The Bachelor. Yeah. He married Shnezana. Shnezana. A couple of years ago. Sorry, no, one of you get it.

Shnez. Oh, Shnez. I don't remember him at all whatsoever. Okay, well he was, I was going to him at all whatsoever. Okay. Well, he was, he was, I was going to say the tall one, not Matty J, not Richie, Sam Wood. Okay. But he is a fitness, uh,

Oh, Woodsy. Sorry. Actually, you might know him. 28 by Sam Wood. His app, very, very successful. I think he's like a multimillionaire because of his app. Okay. Anyway, maybe I do know him. He's a contributor to Body and Soul.

Obviously one of our preferred magazines. Yes. And he has talked to Body and Soul about the phenomenon of Netflix bum. Sorry? Netflix bum, ducko. That's what we're blaming for our saggy bums of the modern era. He said the more time that we are spending on the couch, binging our favourite shows,

the less time that we're up and about and not even necessarily exercising, doing squats, loading up the old gluteus maximus, genuinely just moving around. We're just not walking. Just not walking. We're not doing anything. You, I don't think have this issue cause you'll get up and practice an air golf swing.

You'll get up and do some stretches. You'll get up and make a coffee, go to the bathroom. Sometimes we'll be halfway through this program and I realise I have not got up once. You even just hand you all the Babs and go, fill it up please. And she's hard pressed to get a please, don't you? I love that you made me say that. Babs, can you fill this up for me? Even the can. Babs, water, now.

But sometimes I go get on. I saw you throw it at her heavy the other day. And these hefty steel, you know, the modern day yeti knockoffs. That's why she started soccer, just to work on her reflexes. But we're not getting up as much. So the degeneration of our muscles are happening more and more, impacting thousands of couch bound adults, says Sam Wood. But we're not getting up as much. So the degeneration of our muscles are happening more and more impacting thousands of couch bound adults.

So Sam Wood, the gluteus medius, which does not often make headlines. So is the gluteus maximus. Yeah. But he's saying the gluteus medius just genuinely is switching off. It's failing to activate. It's forcing our hip flexors, hamstrings and lower back to overcompensate. Getting tight. So if you're having lower body issues, feeling tight, feeling sore, it's It's forcing our hip flexors, hamstrings and lower back to overcompensate. Getting tight.

So if you're having lower body issues, feeling tight, feeling sore, it's because your bum's not carrying any load. We're sitting watching Netflix too much. Come on bum, you need to carry the load. We need to carry the load. So next time you'll be doing your favourite show, maybe give yourself a 15 minute timer, maybe give yourself a one episode to at least get up. Well, that's when Netflix does that thing saying, are you still here?

You're like, Oh goodness. If you're getting the, are you still here? That's time to get up and do two jump squats. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Just walk outside. Between that and Technic with looking at the phone and hunched over. It'll be really interesting.

You know, the Neanderthal image where it's from chimpanzee to the caveman to us, and maybe a few iterations in between. The next generation of human physical form, like the 2025 or 2045 where we are hunched over, no bum. It'll go human upright back to hunched again. Back to hunched again with these flaccid, unperky bums. Yeah, that's not good. You can get implants for anything these days. You absolutely can. The BBL. The BBL.

Or just do a couple of lunges. Look at you giving your Fitspo motivation. I know, maybe I have to take a leaf out of my own book. I told you I've had to cancel on my PT for the past four weeks because I was doing golf lessons. I don't think golf did anything for my bum. The shame about golf, isn't it? it? If anything only hurts your back. It's funny because I was saying to Mitch, our golf coach, my obliques feel fantastic.

I don't know how I feel about that. Our golf coach. I said, my obliques feel good. He goes, yeah, but wouldn't one side be more so than the other? Because it's not like you're evening it up. I went, yeah, you're right. So even that element. It's just one side dominant. One side dominant. Get off your butts, you're right. So even that element. Just one side dominant. One side dominant. Get off your butts you lazy pigs. Come on. Yeah, you can do it. You can play Alphabox right now. That gives you a good excuse not to get off your bum I reckon. You have a free pass. If you played on the phone, would you be standing and pacing or would you be sitting? I reckon I'd be standing. Taco, that is a question. We've been playing this game for

five years. I have never asked someone what they are doing in that moment. Let's find out. No, they're at home They're at work. They're on the job site. They're in the car The car people must be they have to be sitting but if you're if I was at home, I'd be standing couldn't agree I'd be paying I'd be pacing. Yeah, I have it on loudspeaker. I'll be standing 13 1060. What are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah. And would you like $10,000? 13 10 60. Play Alphox with you next. Take it up on it, turning up, Jess and Ducco in the morning. Jess and Ducco's 10k alpha bucks on Hit Alpha Bugs. 30 seconds, 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your

first answer, cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, say pass. We'll come back if there is time. We are playing for 10K. Our player today is Darnell. Good morning, Darnell. Good morning. Darnell, now we were just speculating.

We've never really asked when someone plays this game. Are they sitting? Are they standing? Are they pacing? What do you think your strategy will be? If I wasn't sitting in the car I'd definitely be pacing. Okay all right we're locked in sitting in the car though yeah she's jittering the V is shaking in the car. Have you taken the seatbelt off? No the seatbelt's on because I'm so nervous. Just in case anything happens. Lock me into the seat. Strapped in, can't go anywhere.

See, that makes me feel like, oh no, you want to loosen up a bit, but also your strategy done now. You gotta do what you gotta do. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? I would actually get flights to Vegas and go see Backstreet Boys for my birthday. Hell yeah.

What a trip. Go see Nick Carter and the gang. Fantastic. Have they got a residency or something at one of the casinos? They do, yes. I did not know that. Neither did I. I don't know they were still performing. Darnell has got her finger on the pulse. Oh yeah. Of the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. This is a great, great sign for you Darnell. We're going to give you our most successful letter in Alphabucks history. You're working with the letter K. Okay. Okay. You ready to rock?

You're working with the letter K. Okay. Okay. You ready to rock? Come on down now. Let's go. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter K. We need you to name a girl's name.

Kylie. A food brand. A part. A sport. Kickboxing. A pop star. Kylie Minogue. A four-letter word. Kill. A pop star. Kylie Minogue. A four letter word.

Kill. A body part. Knee. A marsupial. Koala. A country. Choo-ay. A politician.

Pass. A clothing item. Uh... Oh jeez. Got through all ten. Got through all ten. What did she say for ten? Clothing item? Uh... Oh jeez. Got through all ten. Got through all ten. What did you say the country had?

Kuwait. Oh yeah, okay. That's fantastic. We got ourselves seven then. And just three passes. Like nothing wrong. No, just three passes. So food brand could have been Kellogg's or Kit Kat.

What else do we have here? A politician. Kevin Rudd or Kamala Harris. A clothing item could have been the old-fashioned. Oh, yeah. A clothing item. A clothing item. A clothing item.

A clothing item. A clothing item. A clothing item. A clothing item. A clothing item. A clothing item. A clothing item. So food brand could have been Kellogg's or KitKat. What else do we have here? A politician, Kevin Rudd or Kamala Harris. A clothing item could have been the old knickers, the humble kilt, what CharGuy whips out and wears. There's a few there. Look, you don't get the $10,000, I'm very, very sorry,

but you do get $100 to spend online at Vera Fleur. They are fantastic. Jess and I have a bit of Vera Fleur prints in our houses. And one in the studio. Yeah, that's the rice cooker print. Yeah, she does a great job. Which I think is available for sale, Darnell, if you really want to capture Jess and Ducco in your home. Have a look at the Viroflow website, OK?

Sounds amazing. Thank you, Darnell. Hold your head up high. That was really good effort. Thank you. We do play again. Eight o'clock, ten thousand dollars up for grabs. Up next though, first chance to get involved to win those Origin tickets in accommodation. That's our call of fame prize. Yeah, 131060 was saying, where'd you get caught doing it?

That's right, we're going to make you work for them, that's for sure. Obviously. Jess and Ducco. For your chance to get involved with ducking over to India. Great to be here. Specifically to Jaipur? Jaipur. Jaipur. Just like where Jaipur is. That's right. It's in India. It's to India. Great to be here. Specifically to Jaipur. Jaipur. Jaipur. Just like where Jaipur is. That's right. It's in India. It's in India. At the Holiday Inn actually

at Jaipur in India. Now that's not where I thought we were going. I didn't think I was here. We're chilling. There's a Holiday Inn everywhere obviously. Yeah absolutely. Why am I surprised? Why am I surprised there's a Holiday Inn in Jaipur? What you doing? Chilling at the holiday inn. Yeah. No I'm not. Chingy, a bit of chingy. Someone back that up for a banger. That is a banger. And then I'll do right there. I was like, what are you doing? Right there.

We should do hotel themed songs. Oh, so you were saying chingy themed. Love that. Write that down. Holiday inn. I'm gonna find someone with Ibis. Anyway, we're in Jaipur at the Holiday Inn in India because there has been a couple that were obviously, now there's no obviously confirmation of who this couple is. I like to think they're a married couple, they've had a night away, they've left the

kids with the sitter. Okay, yeah. Are you saying Indian couple having a staycation? Yeah, staycation. Oh I love that. So they're Jaipur Indians? Maybe they were listening to the Indian version of Jess and Bako. I love that. And they won tickets. Jessans. Maybe they were listening to the Indian version of Jess and Taco. I love that.

And they won tickets. Jessminder. Ah, Jessminder. Yes. I'm not gonna, I'm not even gonna try. I just know Jessminder. Just go Taco. That's the name, genuinely.

Oh, now we're Mexican. That's all very... Ah, jeez. They listened to us over there. Absolutely. And they won the Call of Fame. They're off to the Holiday Inn. Okay.

What is the Indian equivalent of Game of Origin? Oh my god. State of Origin? Ah geez, it'd be something to do with cricket. You're absolutely right. Yeah. Okay, but yes, let's build the scene. They're having a night away. They've got their accommodation. They've cracked into the mini-bar because why not? Why not? Who cares? $20 for that tiny bottle, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll have a little Snickers. Are you hungry? Let's have some nuts. Let's nibble on Bobby's nuts. tiny bottle, I'll do it. I'll do it! I'll have a little Snickers, are you hungry? Let's have some nuts, let's nibble Nobby's nuts. You know, let's do it. Holiday Inn as standard around the world, Nobby's nuts. So they have then started not drawing the curtains, they've just openly started making

a baby. You know, they've started going for it. Who has time? When the mood strikes, Ducko you know this, married with a child now. When the mood is right, we don't have time to muck around. When the stars align and it's red, when they align, you've just got to go for it. You've got to go for it. Particularly if there's kidless, you know, you've got to make the most of it. Exactly. Before we pass out from exhaustion.

Unfortunately, they did this in front of a very busy intersection. They didn't draw the curtains. They were doing a few positions in the old Kama Sutra. Well, I'm pretty sure, correct me if I'm wrong, Sragai, this is your area of expertise, Kama Sutra originates from India right? Absolutely does, maybe even in Jaipur. Maybe. Anyway basically everyone saw them as they were driving past, onlookers then started watching and standing outside, people started filming, it went viral. Of course it did. And now it's the age old debate like should they have drawn the curtains, is this on them or should the people have not been laughing, commenting and filming? Supposedly people on the ground like, you know, yelling encouragement to them. Oh I love that. We don't know how high up they were. They're obviously not level 77.

No, it doesn't say. They're not something that high. I mean if they're winning it on our radio station, probably like level 3. You're not getting the balcony room. Obviously not. Come on. Oh jeez. You got it for free. Be grateful. There's a limit. What do you mean your room doesn't have a fireplace? But now you're confusing me, Ducco. Now I'm confused, Ducco. I used to work in a hotel. Quite a fancy pants hotel. And we had reflective glass for this very reason. For privacy. It was in the CBD.

It was for privacy of our guests. That only works in the daytime. When you turn a light on inside with privacy... Oh my god! I don't know what time of day this was, but... But if it was nighttime and they had internal lights on in the hotel room, they've just lit up. Correct. So they turn the lights on, they're thinking, hey, no one can see us.

No one can see us? I mean, I hope so. Let's look at the entire city and go for it. A bit of ambiance of the beautiful city of Jaipur. Yeah. Instead, everyone's looking in and everyone's seeing what you're doing. And filming them. And filming and it's gone viral, the kids are probably gonna see when they grow up, the couple's embarrassed, the holiday inn are yet to comment, but we thought on 13th and 60th where'd you get caught doing it? Oh I love that. Or have you seen someone do it in a like in a public space or from afar? Have you been caught or have you been the catcher? Oh yeah, catcher in the right. I love that. Yeah that's a bit of fun. Like have you ever been caught? I mean we know you had your good guys. Oh they buy that sheep. Yeah. Remember? Oh yeah the sheep in New

Zealand. The sheep in New Zealand. Absolutely. And is that caught when they're joined? Just accuse me of bestiality live on the air. When it's a sheep though it doesn't. That is unacceptable sir. When it's a sheep it doesn't feel as bad. When it's a sheep though it doesn't. That is unacceptable sir. When it's a sheep it doesn't feel as bad. I want it on the record. It was a... I don't even know if it was happy. It was cold in New Zealand as we were chilling. I've never seen a sheep smile. He was just grazing. He was just plodding along. Plodding along to be fair. We're in his field. Yeah, and so it's on his turf. We were on his turf Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but. Lingered a bit but. Yeah obviously. Hobbard. Really Hobbard. Got close. You're a menace. Where have you been doing it? Who's walked in? Kate ever walked in on you? My mum ever caught me. Yeah.

No, I don't think so. I don't think I've ever caught me close to it like post-act. Yeah, yeah. But I've never been caught by my parents as such. I had a boyfriend, we fell asleep, we were meant to pick up my brother from a party and my boyfriend and I just fell asleep in the bed. We like fully clothed, all this and everyone thought, oh they must have died, that's the only reason they haven't picked Christopher up from this party. Oh no. So mum's burst into my room. And you went to loud boys over. No. How'd that go? Not great. But at least it was almost like the panic that she thought something had happened to us offset her anger. But

imagine how much worse it had been if she'd caught us. Oh yeah. My sisters have actually caught me in the act. Actually I forgot about both my sisters. Not to get too deep. Feel free to veto. How compromising was the position you were in? Pretty compromising. Oh, you make an eye contact. Like they walk through the door and it's an eye contact. Get out! Don't look at me!

Were you on your own or with someone? I was with someone. I was with someone. Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Sorry, did I go first? Yeah, I was with someone. Both sisters? Yeah, on the same person, same night.

No way. Different times though. So you didn't stop when Laura busted you? It's like, let's- Are you kidding? Are you kidding? It's gonna take more than that to rattle me. Even then I was like, I don't care, just be quiet.

Close the door. Anyway, 13, 10, 16. I don't know how to work the stove. I'll be there in a second! Hurry! Just turn it on! 13, 10, 60. Have you been caught doing it? Would you like to go to Origin?

Yeah. Well then you have to tell us if you've been caught doing it, or we'll take if you were the catcher. Or were you the sheep? Or were you the... Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. We're in Jaipur in India, the Holiday Inn, precisely. Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn.

Oh, whatcha doin'? Uh... I'm bangin'. We're bangin'. With the wind, not windows open, the curtains open. Curtains drawn in a public area, people can see it, people are filming it, everyone's watching a couple, go at it. Begs the question on 13, 1060, where'd you get caught doing it?

I love this from Anonymous on the text line, Ducco 0488881069, got caught by a security guard doing it under the harbour bridge. Under the harbour bridge? Like a troll. Hahaha, the troll's under the bridge. Feel like I've been under the harbour bridge before, I feel like that's not a place you wanna... Hey, when the moment strikes, who am I to judge? Who are you to judge when romance strikes?

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You know? Some of us like a field with sheep on looking. Some of us like a holiday inn in Jaipur. And some of us like to be under the Harbour Bridge. What about Alana? I got caught doing it in a bush when I was 15. Thank you, Alana. She didn't say none of us so I said her name. In a bush as well. I mean that's classic high school pose.

That's scratchy and dirty. We've all been there. Have we? Oh yeah. Do you know Alana? Monica's called in on 13 10 60 Monica. Monica do you want to be anonymous or are you good? Oh yeah sorry.

I'm out of here. Excellent. I'm sure Babs has asked that question. Babe, have you been caught doing it? Yeah, so my husband and I recently, so currently I'm pregnant. Our four year old was downstairs, he was occupied. Husband was like, I'm going to go for a quick shower if you want to join. Went upstairs, we didn't lock the door so that he could still get in if he needed us. Didn't expect him to need us. He came in and goes,

Daddy you're hurting my baby brother! Oh my gosh! Ohhhhh! I mean it's a time for the chat. The fact that he even knows? Why you poking my brother? So and then question Monica what happens after that? Do you just go we'll be five and continue or is it just done then?

We'll just play another episode of me. We'll be back! Please we never get to do this! Your brother only gets hurt once every three months. These kids shows the episodes are only six to seven minutes long. They're not long enough. They're not long enough. Uh, oh, anonymous. Hello.

Hi. Uh, have you been caught doing it? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. What happened? So, um, my partner and I were at the beach one day and we were feeling a bit, um, frisky. So we went for an adventure. We went for adventure on the rocks, looking at the rock pools and stuff.

And we found this cute little section and then you know things started happening and a couple like these two guys walked past and we just kept going. It's broad daylight anonymous. Yeah, it's broad daylight. Middle of the day. Beautiful weather. Rock pool. Beautiful weather, middle of the day, public space, just having a crack. Just a couple of fly fishermen walking past. Absolutely. So you just proceeded to keep going? Yeah, I mean at first we were sort of like, what do we do?

But then we were like, oh you know, they don't seem too bothered. They were just watching a little bit and then they kept walking and then looking back and we were like, are you making eye contact? They don't seem too bothered. They were just watching a little bit and then they kept walking and then looking back and we're like Yeah, you know Are you making eye contact with the audience? Oh yeah, unfortunately yes Yeah, yeah, yeah Whips his phone out, just starts filming That's all good

It's fine, we're all having a good time Steve, you've been caught doing it I have Go for it, Steve, what happened? So we're at our holiday cabin And we had a few beers that night and anyway me and the wife were going for it and my son got up out of bed and went down the hallway, I thought he was just going to the toilet because I did hear him get up

but then anyway he was standing in the hallway for quite a little while and then he poked his head around the corner and goes, what are these strange noises? What did you, how did you talk your way out of that one Steve? What were the strange noises? I think the wife spokesperson said, what are you doing you weirdo? Let's turn it back on the kid who's been eavesdropping. The strange noises are in your head son. Let's turn it back on the kid who's been age dropping. It's on you! The strange noises are in your head son! Brilliant and Shakira on 13 10 60 Shakira have you been caught doing it?

Yes I have. Oh you seem pleased about it Shakira. Um, I was caught by a police officer in my car. Oh brilliant. Fantastic. In a like a lover's lane spot like where people notoriously go to thinking it's discreet and stuff? No I was actually in like because I was in my own driveway my elderly neighbor thought my car was being broken into

so she called the cops and the cops come and knocked on the window and he tried to open the door. What? Why my partner and him were looking at him? He tried to open the door and he started knocking on the window to get us out of the car. Oh no. I mean. And then you've got to get out and show ID and what you're doing. Absolutely. I own the car. Is this your car? Yeah. I mean Shakira, the driveway of a house, you couldn't go inside the house. I know we talk about when the mood strikes. Maybe I was sneaking out or something. Well, family, yeah, we were. Yeah, a bit of sneaking around, you see?

And also, when the grandma next door, the elderly grandma next door, thinks that, you know, the car's been broken into, nice. Monday morning, we've ripped off the can to a fresh new week, team. It feels good to be here. It does feel good. Hey, it's Monday, which means coming up, Bidi Bidi Bang Bang. Bidi Bidi Bang. You can't get involved, so don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Just listen, it'll be fun.

It'll be really fun. I promise. It's a great spectator sport. Oh yeah. Anytime we've tried to get Rice Cooks involved with Bidi Bidi Bang Bang, capitulate. Doesn't work. Tried to do the Weather Baby's hair didn't work. Tried to do the lunch before that didn't work.

They're like, I get it. I don't get it. Even though I had said, please don't raise your hand to participate if you don't understand the game. Carly, hands straight up, then got up there. How do I play? Just start to bidding on things, not knowing what she's bidding on. What did I just say, Carly?

Yeah, it was just, it was a trade crash. Anyway, speaking of that very event, beautiful event. We had Chateau Alain in the Hunter Valley. Happened obviously last week. That's when we were doing it. Now, Thursday night, because it was there for my daughter, it was wedding the baby's head for Flo, right? To Florence!

To Florence! We only did cheers her while she was at home with my wife. Absolutely. You know that whole saying, oh, my ears are burning, someone must be talking about you. I hope her ears were burning the whole night. We'll talk about her constantly. Red hot. Um, I had a few rice cookers though, um, say how underdressed I was for that event.

Cause I rocked up, I had like a cashmere sweater with a nice pant. I thought you looked fantastic. And a t-shirt underneath the cashmere sweater but I had a bit of like a collar on the sweater. Yes. People were wearing button-ups and jackets like other dudes. A lot of jackets getting around, a lot of button-ups and people kept saying to me Ducco I didn't want to wear this jacket but I only did because I thought you would. You're underdressed and it's your own event. I too was copying Slug. Yeah.

One gentleman. The plus ones always get quite lippy. Don't they just? What did you say, Ducko? Don't they just? They get quite lippy. More often than not, the plus ones have no idea who we are. And that's fine.

I take that as a personal challenge. When someone comes up to me and goes, are you the Jess? I'm like, you're clearly the plus one. Nice to meet you. Thank you for being here. Who brought you, you're clearly the plus one. Nice to meet you. Thank you for being here. Who brought you, you know, this sort of thing. It's my personal mission to convert them, you know, make sure they have a great time and we'll continue on enjoying the show. But as soon as I walked in young gentlemen straight away, Oh, nice formal attire,

Jess. This is what I wanted to say, the word formal, right? Because I kept saying, why is everyone going at me? And I go, because I didn't actually see an invite to this thing. And this is where I want a bone to pick with our promotions team. Because I go, what do you mean? It's a cocktail.

And someone goes, no, it said formal attire. And I did not know my own baby's event was formal. Now this is the thing, Ducco. I clocked the, as soon as we walked in I saw one of the beautiful girls. I think her name was Jamie. Yeah floor-length sequined Yeah, let alone Everyone else if you had said, you know shy guy and Babs are getting married Everyone look like a wedding attire. What do you say? Yeah, except us for exact us for look the most underdressed

And I want to... Shaggo rocks up in a short sleeve but not with no jumper. He was poor freezing. His nipples were rock hard. I had to give him a puffer. I do want to defend our wonderful promotions manager, Nick. Cause I was just about to go in. No, don't.

He sent us the invitation. Oh, he did, he did. That he sent to all the attendees. This is true. But I too, Duggo, did not open it. Did we say we wanted formal though? Where did formal come from? To be fair, it feels like a conversation I probably did have with you. This feels like a Jess thing.

I don't remember the word formal. Does anyone remember the origins of formal? Babs? No, doesn't Rep. Shaw. I'm trying to look through the emails. Because obviously I didn't open the email. I didn't read it. That's on me. But I feel like we normally just do cocktail. Because Babs and I would, and to be fair, I don't even think we were cocktail dressed.

We were pretty happy. It's not like you and me to be underdressed either. It was smart casual. Yeah. Which, yes. Which is okay. It is okay, but not when everyone else has been told formal, the bridge between, what did you say?

Smart, casual and formal. It was bad, wasn't it? If they had been told cocktail, that feels like a less of a stretch. But I remember even talking to Babs in the office, she's saying, classic, what are you wearing? What are you wearing? And I remember saying, not jeans, but not a wedding. So we've all landed in the middle there.

That cocktail middle. When everyone was told basically, wedding. It's a wedding. It's a formal wedding at that too. You know what's funny? Not wedding, it was wetting guys. Wetting, wetting the head. Wetting, not wedding. But we were the four worst dressed. I felt so embarrassed though. I was like, I didn't even know that my daughter's wedding of the head party was formal.

I know. Oopsie. Oopsie. Should have read that email, accidentally deleted it. You know? Whoopsie daisy. Yeah, no, that's absolutely on us. Yeah. You know, I'll wear that one as well. But I thought in 2025 underdress was better than overdress. Like I thought it was better to be underdone these days than overdone. That's why I think everyone was so mad. Particularly the blokes who were in blazers and suit jackets and belts. Oh my god. Yeah, I definitely even have a belt. I think every second lady was wearing Spanx, like no one wants to be wearing Spanx.

They could have been wearing what we were wearing, something comfortable. Some of the Spanx were coming out the D floor too. But no one else's boobies flopped out. So everyone should be thanking us. That's what I mean. Wear their underdress sideways and your boobs coming out on the D floor. Someone DM'd after we had that conversation on Friday being like, where's the video of Jess's tit flopping out?

I'm like, ew, the video of Jess's tit flopping out? I'm like, ew, Darren, rated in J. Darren, but here it is. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. A game we've worked out only works with us. Yep. Can't play it publicly.

We can't play it publicly. We can't play it with rice cookers. Sadly, we've tested it too many times at parties. It doesn't work. So let's have some fun. The three of us, Babs in studio. Shy Guy's going to give us some categories and we are going to bid and outbid each other who can name the most things within that category.

To steal the point, you have to rattle off something that has not been said in that 22nd time period. But Shy Guy, no mucking around, let's get straight in. Straight to it, modes of transportation. Oooh. Six. There's plenty. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. I'm out. Tucko, would you like to outbid? No, I'll see.

I'll see eleven. Alright. Car, bike, motorbike, unicycle, segway, van, helicopter, tram, train, ferry, tugboat. Oh yeah. Tugboat. Do you like all those? I had 10. No, I was 11, I had 11.

Thank you, Ducco. I just counted my bad, that's the point. Okay, Ducco's counting from now on. No, can everyone count? Because you talk too quick. It's 20 seconds, I don't have time to deal with Dally. I was looking at Jess's hands. She had her hands up, so that was my counting.

So she might have just been lying, I don't know. But I'm on the board. Next one. Sausages. Types of sausages. Oh. Okay, Olme, who likes the butcher smell? You two. You should be good at this. All I can think of is like...

Do you mean flavors? Or like different countries having... There's different types all over the world. All over the world, okay. Three? Yeah, four. I mean, I'll say five. Please don't make me do it. I don't know.

I'm trying to, like, I can think of... Yeah, I can't think of more than five though. Yeah, no. Yeah, me either. All right. Yeah, how many are there? I'm actually trying to get a list, but I've got at least... Here we go.

I've got at least 20 on my list. 20?! Alright. All I can think of is, yeah. Yeah, do you want me to hear five? Kransky. Hot Dog. The ones at Bunnings.

Are they the same? I feel like... Umm... Chipolata? Yep. Cacciatore? Cause that's four? I feel like... Umm... Chipolata? Yep. Cacciatore? Cause that's four. I don't...

I don't... Umm... Oh see I don't... I mean the ones with the hot dog and the ones with bunnings. What did you want? Yeah, what did you take? Frankfurt? So bratwurst.

Oh Frankfurt. Bratwurst. Bluntwurst. Or German ones. You've got Italian ones like the Sussalisa. Oh jeez. How did I miss that one? Oh no. You've got the Spanish ones, you've got the chor like the Sousa Lisa. How did I miss that one?

You've got the Spanish ones, you've got the chorizo. What Babs said Frankfurt, does she get the point? Yeah the American ones like the breakfast sausage. Yes Babs can. Okay thank you. You done mate? What's those ones you like with the red skin? Oh yeah yeah, Cheerios, Kielbasa. The Polish ones. Yeah. OK. All right. Enough. You're reading off a list. I too can do that. I had the list. All right. Next one. American car brands.

American car brands. Oh, can I get two? Yeah, I know. Three. Four. You're gonna have to. I'm out. American. American. Three? Four. You're gonna have to... I'm out. Umm... American? American. I could do more Korean. I'll say it.

Okay. Ford, Mustang, Tesla. Ooh! Uhh... Or a Ram. Nice! And... Uhh...

Ford Mustang, Tesla, Ram. What's another American car? Uh, like a, uh, no, come on! I don't know. Would you accept Tundra? Is that a brand? That's a make. Who makes the Tundra. Oh, damn! Is that a Dodge?

Am I gonna kick myself? Dodge is another American brand. It's a jet with a steel. Okay, damn it. What was I missing? You got Cadillac, Chevrolet, GMC, Jeep, Chrysler. Is Jeep American? What about a Rolls Royce? Burick, no, German.

Oh, German. Damn, did not know Jeep was American. Dammit! European, maybe not German, but not American. Tesla was good though. Very nice. Thanks Musk. I think, am I out?

I think I'm out. Yeah, you're out. Bye! Okay, we'll see you soon. I'm off! I'm off to have Italian sausage! Next one. Things that have stripes. Ooh. Babs would you like to pick first? Yeah sure, three. Oh come on. Go big Babs or go home!

Five! Yeah! Thanks Ducco! Hit it with six Babs! Come on! Six! Yeah hit it back seven! Six, Babs. Come on. Six! Yeah, hit it. It's a back seven. Nah, let her see it. I think I win a D.C. No, no, don't. That's Zephyr.

Yes. My jacket. My T-shirt. Oh! Some shorts. Okay. You're taking the piss now. Come on!

The sky! The sky! The sky! What? I don't know! This is where your brain goes. Animals. team animals! Yes! Pedestrian crossing. Oh, great game! Thank you!

Jess has won the game. Could have done like barcodes, flags, a watermelon has stripes, a zebra which you said, a tiger has stripes, also some snakes. Next week, one of us is Quizmaster. I love it. Can you please get me out of here? I don't want to play anymore. Jess and Daco.

Daco, I've had to have a big weekend of self-reflection. We have been slowly packing up our house. We're starting a reno in the next couple of weeks. We cannot live in it, in the house, while the reno is happening. We have the small child, we have the big dog. It's just going to be too hard. It's not like it's a demolition. We are putting a master bedroom and reorienting a kitchen, but it's going to be too hard. It's not like it's a demolition. We are putting a master bedroom and reorienting a kitchen, but

it's going to be too hard basket. So the in-laws are taking a whole bunch of stuff up to their place up on the vineyard and we are going to move into an apartment that the in-laws do own. So we're sort of downsizing a three bedroom house with four occupants into a space that's already inhabited by them. Like that's their place and where. So they just come less to that apartment. Correct.

Like it's their place. Obviously it's their bit of their weekender, but we are absolutely commandeering it. So they probably will start going, don't worry about it. Yeah, it could be yours for the next five months. It's too hard. Yeah. But as we've been packing up, as I said, a lot of self-reflection on the stuff. Why do we have so much stuff?

Why have we kept so much stuff over the years? Namely, I volunteered to start doing the kitchen. Why do I have 12 serving platters? 12, Ducco. Like cheese board things? No, cheese boards is a whole other category. I'm talking like a ceramic dish that maybe I'd serve roast potatoes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just a crewmate of things, don't you? You do. I have eight salad bowls and I tell you what, we have a salad pretty much with every meal, just,

you know, nice to have a bit of green, get some veggies in. I use the same salad bowl every day. Doused in the vinegar, doused in a bit of sauce. Who likes lettuce? A bit of Paul Newman all over that bad boy, I tell you that much. I like his French. But I'm just saying, I use the same salad bowl every day. And yeah. Why do I have eight?

Because you use it, you put it back as the first one. It's the top one. Exactly, shy guy. Six water jugs. Six. My favourite one is the one you guys got me for my birthday this year. Why do I have six? And I actually tried to say to Angus, two of them are from our wedding. You know, we had a bit of a mimosa situation. So we bought two jugs just from Kmart. And I said to

Angus, I'll donate these ones. He went, oh, nah, but positive association, the wedding. Well, you're just as bad as me. I actually am trying to cull. Yeah. And he's like no no wrap them up it's alright. Send them up to the in-laws. They'll be fine. We'll unpack them and find a place for them in the new house. Never will. All of a sudden five years later they're like why do we keep those? Why did I pack this up? I'm bubble wrapping all these things, all the tiny dishes for cheese boards and all the spoons. What do I have decorative spoons? That needs to be bubble wrapped for storage. You want me to be proud. But one thing, she would be actually, but one thing that did make me sit with the most,

Angus said, I'll have first crack at the bedroom, the side tables and the bedside drawers, the crap, the miscellaneous crap. When I've walked in, I saw him going through what looked like papers and cards. I said, what have you got there? He went, well, I've kept every card you've ever given me over the time of our relationship. I went, oh my God, you sweet angel. They've been in his bedside table this whole time. And he was packing them away to keep safe. I went-

Aw, just reading on the past memories. And just sort of reading. And that's the worst part about packing up a house. You get distracted because you go, oh, the memory of this, the memory of this. But I went, crap, have I kept? Have I kept all the ones you've given me over eight years? What was in your bedside drawer? Just empty butter chicken dishes.

And a couple of other things, am I right? A couple of toys. I'll wrap these ones, these are special. Yeah, yeah, I haven't cleaned this in years. No, but then I went through my wardrobe and I too found all these cards and handwritten notes, post-it notes even, that Angus has kept, that Angus has given me over the time that I have actually kept. I just didn't know where they were.

And they were in there. And they were in there. But one thing that I was laughing at is all the different names we've called each other over the years. Like reading how he signed off on things and how I wrote to him and having to work out what does LD stand for? You know, and then we realised, oh, it stands for little Djalin. Oh, little Djalin.

Of course it does. Little Dua. What's PD stand for? Oh, I think that's when we called each other per duty, you know, for a while. Keep going. Having a real nice trip down memory lane. You know, Mr. Goose, Mrs. Juice, Mr. Malouse, all these things where you go, oh, we don't call each other that anymore. What do you call each other now?

You referred to yourself as juicy the other day. Yeah, so that's Mr. Goose. We were all like, what? Who? Who? Say it. That was a slip up. Yeah.

That used to be very formal. Mr. Goose, Mrs. Juice, now it's just Goosey and Goosey. Yeah. It was actually really sweet to look back at the evolution on our cards. And I know you and Morgan aren't, you know, not huge gift givers within each other. You show love in different ways, but it was really nice to have this sentimental tether to the early days.

That and two potato rices for all the times we make gnocchi. That we never. That always comes back to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We start a lot with the food stuff and we end up with full stuff. And we circle back. Yeah. We've cracked open a fresh can of the Mondays. Tastes good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We started off with the food stuff and we ended with food stuff. And we circle back. Jess and Ducco.

We've cracked open a fresh can of the Mondays. Tastes good. Smells good. Feels good. It always feels good. I'm not wearing a bra. I'm ready to get loose. Is that what that is? Woo! Here we go. You've had enough looseness lately, okay?

I have. You flooded your bathroom. Oh, my mummy's so disappointed. Last week yeah. Yeah. My mommy's so disappointed last week You should have seen how fast I checked out. Oh The mini bug got flooded farewell, I mean we all had a good time but yeah, I had a great time as well Yeah Don't tell me with a bit of crocodile rock, I will tear it up. Couple of reds and crocodile rock.

How good was that Tempranillo? And I think just not having your minder there was really what let you down. Really did. Yeah. It really did. Like I made jokes that you and I weren't bunking in the same room just because we had to do a piece to camera and I was like, don't worry, they haven't put us up together, it would have been better if they had because I wouldn't have flooded the

bathroom because allegedly. Or set it on fire because we couldn't work it out and put the fireplace out. Yeah, the fireplace thing was awesome. It was good that you flooded the bathroom. I thought I was going to carbon monoxide poison myself. That's how terrifying. I just slept with my fire on. See, that doesn't feel right.

I think most people did. People did. Yeah, yeah. I thought I was doing the right thing turning it off. And you about to go into a tirade about not knowing to turn the jets on until after. Thank you. Everyone knows that. You and Shy Guy and yes confirming my mother and husband when I went on an absolute rampage is it common knowledge you wait for a tub to be full before turning the jets on. You just wait for the jets to be covered. The jets to be covered yeah that's all you need.

They're like a quarter down or like a half way. Yeah. You just wait for them to be covered. The jets to be covered, yeah, that's all you need. They're like a quarter down or like a half way. Yeah. You just wait for them to be covered. My issue is the top jets were spurting upwards. Like even if they were covered, it's spurting upwards. It'll just be that way, that direction. And also if you're laying in the bath, they'll be hitting you before it goes out. Can we also talk about how unhelpful Babs was when I sent you the SOS video? I thought she was trying to help because you...

How is it helpful, Ducko, when I'm flooding a barge and she goes, whoop, you've turned the jets on too early. Because I thought... I understand that. None of us thought you didn't know what you'd done and you were filming it hiding outside the room. So we were like... You were like scared.

So we were like, oh, she's the maid of the scape. And this has happened and she doesn't know what to do. I know and she said, press the button again. I didn't trust her because I thought if I press the button again, I'm extending the time. It's actually my suggestion to Bats. What did they do when they came? They pressed the button again. Oh, so you didn she said press the button again I didn't trust her because I thought if I press the button again, I'm extending the time What did they do when they came? They pressed the button again No, I missed that

That's funny. I saw the tap filling You hadn't turned the tap off No because part of me did think oh does the jet need to be covered so I'll keep filling the tub But turn off the jet Yeah, I didn't know how to So someone from Anyway Anyway I'm gonna post on my social media so at least maybe there are other people who didn't know that's common knowledge. Yeah, fairly common. I mean the alcohol. And I

grew up with a spa. That's what my mum said. She goes, but we had a spa bath growing up. I said, ma, I don't remember turning the jets on in our spa bath. Tempranillo will do that to someone's memory, you know. And it just... Oopsie, oopsie. And that's the danger with the wine tasting as well, because you just keep the merriment going. If I was just poured a full glass, maybe I would have been more conscious. I rocked up.

I've had three, whereas the tasting, you just keep sipping, sipping, sipping. I went to the wrong room initially and tried to get into the wrong room because I... I did that too. Yeah, I couldn't remember where my room was. You'd been invited back then. What room did those people stay? And I just kept putting my card and I was going red and I was like, where am I? I did exactly that.

Can you imagine those people inside being like, oh my god, someone's trying to break in. What are we doing? Yeah, and then I ran away. I thought they were going to get up and open the door. Well, we're the biggest pests at our own party. I think I was like, oh, my key doesn't work. Yeah. And I was like banging my dick.

I'm next door. Everything's fine. Anyway, well, our point is you need to play Alphabucks. My key doesn't work. Yeah. And I was like banging the D. I'm next door. Everything's fine. Anyway, well, our point is you need to play Alphabucks. Absolutely. For $10,000. Yeah. Do with it what you will.

13 1060, call us now. And actually call in if you've ever not turned the Jets on properly. Yes. I only want someone to play who didn't know that about Baths. Well, no one will be calling in there. Oh yeah, that's bad, isn't it? Someone call me. Take it up't it. Someone call people. Jus and Ducco in the morning.

Jus and Ducco's 10k alpha box on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions. All starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, say pass. We come back of course if there's time. We're playing for 10k. Our player today is Steven.

Hello Steven. Hey, how are you going? Steven, couldn't be better. Have the opportunity to give you $10,000 but we did ask for someone to call who is like me and did not know that you had to wait for a bath to be full before turning the jets on. Are you with me? Are you learning this for the first time too? I'm sorry to say, but no I'm not.

Yeah, apparently. I thought everybody knew. Yeah, Steve, well everyone who called in knew and we all know. Babs, I asked you to let someone play who didn't know. Yeah, everyone called and said they did know. Everyone knows, so. So no one would have played otherwise. It's just you.

It happens, you know. Well, Steve, or obviously, very smart, obviously got a good head on his shoulders, knows stuff. The question is, does he know 10 things, starting with one letter about to give him? Yep. After we find out what you want to spend the money on, Steve, what's motivating you today? Probably bills, to be honest. Pay the electricity, water. Yeah. Just life really. Mortgage. Ah the old mortgage. He's in the way doesn't he? Alrighty Stephen well let's not dilly-dally any further. The letter you are going to work with to

take the heat off those bills is P. P? P for perfect which is what you're gonna need to be champion. Yep. To take home the 10 grand. Are you ready? Yep. Okay. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter P we need you to name a star sign. Pisces. A technology brand. Phillips. An animal. Phillips. An animal? Pass. A type of pastor? Penne. An occupation?

Plastra. A board game? Us. A school subject? Philosophy. A hobby? Pass. A body part?

Penis. A TV show? Why you got it in there mate? Class of 2015. Um... pass. A body part. Um... penis. A TV show. Glad you got it in there, mate. Glad you got it in there. Because you pondered it.

You don't need to ponder it. You don't need to. You don't need to hesitate. The technical term. You got yourself six there. You got through all questions though, so a few passes. An animal could have been a panda. A board game, Pictionary, one of the big ones.

A hobby could have been painting, photography, and then a TV show. I think you just ran out of time there. Peaky Blinders, Parks and Recreation is what we're after. Look, Steve, you don't get a 10k, but you don't go away empty handed. $100 to spend online at Vira Fleur. That's all yours. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, Steve.

Thanks for joining the show. Thanks for playing and educating us on baths. That's right. See Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, Steve. Thanks for joining the show. And educating us on baths. That's right. See ya. See ya. When he said he wanted to pay his water bill and I was like, alright, alright, I get it. My water bill was high.

I get it. After flooding the bath. Not yours, the hotel's. It would have been hard. We play against tomorrow at 6.38 for $10,000. Up next though, more opportunities to get involved in the show. To win our Call of Fame, which on Friday we're giving away two tickets to State of Origin Game 3.

If you heard that correct, the Decider. Yep, it'll sell out. Plus accommodation. We're going to ask, what'd your kid bring to show and tell? You're not going to believe what one kid over in the UK, Ducko, caused his school to be evacuated. Jess and Ducko. Caused his school to be evacuated. Jess and Ducko! What did they bring to Show and Tell?

That's right, we're going to the UK for this story, Ducko. Lovely, lovely. Spokesperson from the local police have come out and said just a word of guidance for parents and guardians. Double check what your kids are bringing in for show and tell, especially when they are family heirlooms because one young primary school lad in Derbyshire, he went through grandma's wardrobe. As you do.

He went through Nana's wardrobe. Oh, it's my turn for show and tell this week. Maybe Nan's got some cool stuff. The knickknacks in Nan's wardrobe. You know, from the ancestry. What's she got in here? ancestry what she got in here what she got in here he rolls in with a grenade. From World War II she said it was a family heirloom because then they obviously interviewed Nan. Still good to go like if you. So he's pulled it out for show and tell. Is the pin in it? At an

assembly now when I did show and tell in Is the pin in it? At an assembly. Now when I did show and tell in primary school, it was just my 25 classmates. This is show and tell to the whole school. But those teachers are phoning it in that week. It's clearly coming to the end of a holiday period. They're like, ah, the whole school's gonna do show and tell. The whole school and we're letting the year twos do it this day. This'll burn a few hours.

Yeah, the hunk of that. We aren't naming and shaming the kid because obviously he did it. No he thought it was cool. Pulled it out from his pocket and gone, check this out. Just holds it up to everyone. How's the head teacher, Jeanette Hart, if only we were all so cool under pressure. What did Mrs Hart do? She spotted the grenade. Now clearly it looks like a relic, but I wouldn't know any better.

It looks like a stereotypical grenade from World War II. Do grenades expire? I wouldn't assume so. So she, obviously being interviewed by the BBC afterwards, has taken it from the kid, put her own self in harm's way, immediately called for all the other teachers to evacuate the students from the assembly hall. She's walked as far away, and then yelled, someone call the bomb squad. Please tell me she just threw it. She's like, to the playground! She's walked all the way through the car park, placed it behind, and I quote,

a substantial tree in the car park. So obviously once the school's cleared out, she's thinking maybe the tree would act as a buffer if this thing goes off. Firing the hole, baby. She puts it down, runs, legs at herself, bomb squad arrives, they have some fancy x-ray equipment and deemed it inactive. It was actually safe but the pin was still in it. Like crazy stuff this kid has just pulled it out of his back pocket. I'm pretty sure grenades are totally safe until you pull the pin out. But isn't that a funny sentence? Like totally safe until? Until you sit next to one. No 100%. You don't want it whipped out at a show and tell. Absolutely. But also the kid who's come before him just being like, this is my trophy I won from the tennis on the weekend. You've absolutely

paled in comparison to the kid who brought me here. Do you win show and tell? Yeah, what does he get in trouble for that? That's a great question. We haven't had any response now. What the... Is it punishment? This has been sitting in Nan's drawer. World War II, man. What's that, 1945? She probably did. So what is Nan doing with a World War II grenade?

Has she picked it up during the war? Possibly. And gone, I'm keeping this just in case... Just in case I need it. In case I need it. Wacking the top drawer for me knickknacks and it's never left. If old mate doesn't, you know, finally pick up that wet towel off the bathroom floor, I've got that grenade, I'm going to pull it out. Let's get it. No Jeremy.

Yeah. But anyway, hence the word of advice. Parents, guardians. Yep. From the local Derbyshire police, please let's be checking. Checking grenades. What your kid is bringing in for show and tell. Yes.

The 131060. What'd they bring in to show and tell? BexgonTouch on Instagram at JessandDucka. My stepbrother took my stepmum's prosthetic boob for show and tell. She was looking for it for hours and the school called her saying could she come pick it up. How do you get that? Now pardon my ignorance. Yeah.

I didn't know that was a thing. Neither did I. I was going to ask you about it. Prosthetic boob. I guess if you can have a prosthetic arm or leg. If you've had to have a mastectomy, that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess you can just get, instead of getting a job, you can strap it on. Yes, put it inside the bra to give you that nice shape or whatever. If you come to ya. That is so funny.

Yeah, that is very odd. Because yeah just that phone call of a can you come pick up your tit? Hey you're a boobs here. I'm gonna let this crystal sink my little brother brought in a whole mousetrap with blood and mouse on it and all because we caught the mouse last night. I mean that's a cool that's a cool show and tell. That's sick. Absolutely. And here it is now the dead mouse. 13 10 60. What'd your kid bring in cool show and tell. I would think that's cool. That's sick. Absolutely. And here it is now, the dead mouse. 131060. What'd your kid bring in for show and tell?

Maybe it was you back in the day. Yeah. What'd you bring? What'd you bring? Show and tell and mishaps. Did you get your school evacuated? Oh, that's tomorrow's question. Or was your prosthetic boob missing?

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What'd they bring to show and tell? Yeah, a young Bruno Mars fan in the UK, primary school kid, brought in a grenade. For show and tell. For show and tell. How's this though, Ducko? Just reading a little bit more. Jeanette Hart, head teacher at this school. Mrs Hart. Quite an eventful assembly, she says. It was going fine and there was actually a boy who brought an old bullet case in, which

had been pre-checked by the parents. The parents had said, look, you know, Jonathan wants to bring in the old bullet case, family heirloom, is that okay? And she went, thanks for letting me know, no issue. The next kid pulled out the grenade, she went, I didn't get no heads up about a grenade. This thing might go off, so she evacuates the school, puts it behind a tree, calls in the bomb squad. Bomb squad said it's inactive, it's fine.

It was in Nan's drawer now for quite some time. I wonder if it gets returned to Nan. Like that's a family heirloom, allegedly. You have to, you have to, yeah. Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure what they do over there. So it begs the question, what did the kid bring in for show and tell? Perhaps you were the kid, maybe you were the teacher having to deal with this.

Oh, you'd see all sorts of things as a teacher. Absolutely. Which also does that make it more interesting? As opposed to them just bringing in, oh, these are my stickers. It's like, oh crap, it's a grenade. Hell yeah, Timmy's born a grenade and that's what I'm talking about. Yes, I'll get something to talk about over dinner tonight. Alana on 13 1060, your daughter brought something into show and tell.

Yes, she did. So, for context, I'm a midwife, and my daughter, who's four, took her doll into daycare and gave a very lovely description of how mummy pulls babies out of women's vaginas, followed up by a breastfeeding demonstration with her doll. Oh, she did a what my mum does at work. Basically. What a little sponge Alana. Did you get an accurate um you know retelling of it? She was like oh she's actually nailed that. Yes the educators were like look she was very very descriptive and like you know we couldn't fault her. She was far up. She was thorough. It was graphic. I learned something. Well done, Alana. Maddie on 13 1060 says you were in the classroom when this happened. Morning, guys.

Yes, I was severely traumatised still to this day. So I'll set the scene. It was year five, show and tell. One of the boys brought his little, there's always that one kid in the class that brings a pet in, bought his Clark shoe box in and he bought a gerbil. Everyone was very excited about this gerbil. No movement. So he gave, assuming it was asleep, gave the box a little shake, out rolls this dead gerbil in the middle of the pool. So he didn't know it was dead?

No, no, I don't even think he actually asked his mum because it was just put in his little Clark shoe box. Hang on, Matty, do you think he suffocated the gerbil? Oh no, he's had it in his bag all morning. Come in here little Frankie. Matty, you were traumatised but these kids just killed his gerbil in front of all his little mates The scream the blood curdling screams that filled the room. I I can't it's ingrained in my mind He's crying over his gerbil. I know he murdered her. Oh that is one of the great moments

Truly that is a scene from a film. I mean sad horrible for the gerbil I know that classic thing like you probably still live in a similar area You might see him at the shops being like gerbil killer. Yeah, he's gerbil boy. Oh my God, Melissa. Hello. Hi, how are you? Yeah, good babe. What did your grandson bring for show and tell? Oh, well it's one of those things that definitely won't be brought up at his 21st.

Oh, you have sure. He decided that I had some very pretty undies that he'd show Kimby. And so he took not from the bedroom drawer but even got them from the laundry so they weren't even clean. Oh no! Nan's dirty knickers! Because they were so pretty that he just thought everyone would like to see those. And were they pretty? At least, no, were they good undies? Like, were they some lacy feet? Oh yeah, they were, they were, but it's not really the point.

No, of course, I just wanted to make sure. What's that phone call like from the school? Is it the principal calling you saying, hi, we're going to need you to come collect your knickers? No, the kindy teacher just discreetly put them like in an envelope back in his bag. Oh, thank you very much, it was lovely. Just take this one back to Nan, and tell Nan I said, I'm impressed.

Well handled from that teacher. Nan's dirty undies for kindy. I would have loved to have heard his presentation. You know what I mean? Yeah. And how he turned out today. Yeah. Tani. Tani, good morning. Good morning. Oh, these are fantastic, Tani.

Your son has brought something, I'm assuming, without your knowledge. Yes, so my son in kindergarten had show and tell who is super excited. I didn't know what he actually took. And then I got a phone call from the school saying that he had taken a phone in. And I was like, we don't have any other phones. Like, what's going on? And it was the old Nokia. And he was so excited because obviously he was in the iPhone stage

so like he didn't know what a Nokia was. Oh, love that's a relic. Yeah, so the school rang me and told me and I went in and I actually found out that it was my ex-partner's phone that he was communicating with other females on so that's how I found out he cheated on me. Tarnie, shut up, that was the secret phone, the burner phone that he was running his affairs with.

Yeah. And he left it at your place. And he left it at your place. We live together. So, um, and my son found it one day and he obviously, my ex partner had obviously thought it was the phone and he was super excited because it was so weird compared to an iPhone. Yes.

So he took it in cause he was like, this is a really old phone from like ancient history. So when you've gone to the school to pick it up, were you going, what is this? Turned it on and seen what messages, pictures. Yeah. And I'll picture some of the old Nokia 3210 as well. You're on that graffiti. Grimany. Jess and Ducco.

I'm a neighbourhood man. Now you know I live next to- Makes me nervous what you've done. On two, both sides of me share houses. One's a share house full of girls, the other one's a share house, I think couples, and the other's like an assorted sort of mix, right? And you've had some beef with both because now we've got partners coming over cars. Like the girls' houses had like three different iterations of girls go through I think. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. And so the ones I had the beef with, with the parking of my driveway were gone. And that wasn't actually a partner parking over your driveway. It was one of the tenants, wasn't it? It was one of them, yeah, yeah. And you sent your wife out to confront her. Yeah, well. But she's gone now. She's gone.

Oh, you win. So I was taking Flo and Pam for a little walk yesterday afternoon. Now it's bin night, Sunday night, because bins go out Monday morning, right? And I'm looking out on the street. As I'm walking, I see a dangerous amount of green bins out and I was like, okay, it must be green bin and red bin day. Sweet, because you know, it rotates the forward line. Because realistically, who knows that? No one. There's one person. What if we talked about the street captain? Yep. You

were setting the tone. Yeah. And God forbid that person goes away on midnight because now you go, who else? Who's setting this? I come down further down the street, it's a long street, I see a few yellows, but then there was more, like there was green and yellow collectively. I'm like, someone has got, someone stuffed up here. And then as I get halfway along to our end, no one had their bins out yet. So this was all the street above us. And then like the start of the street.

Still your suburb, your area. Still our suburb, so it's our area. Then I said, I said to Morgan, well, geez, I'm gonna put the bins out, because it was that time. But I don't know. You're already outside. I'm already outside, I don't know if it's green or yellow. I'm pretty sure though, it's green.

You saw more greens. Yes. So you went with the majority. I ran back down the street to try and count what I saw more of, and try and look at the houses and see who I judged more and see who would be like a more respectable citizen. Yep. And I was like, I think it's green. Morgan goes, why don't you just go online and check who I judge more and see who would be like a more respectable citizen. Yep.

And I was like, I think it's green. Morgan goes, why don't you just go online and check? I go, nah, it's green. So I put the green out, put the red out, right? We're sitting outside about- I love the idea Morgan has gone to check because I feel like I understand where this is going, but no, no, he wants to put the green, let him put the green. Then I go to Morgan, let's just look online.

And we look online, we work it out, you gotta get your zone, get your area, then you work it out. Turns out it was yellow, not green, okay? Okay. Here's the thing, I then go outside and my neighbors all around me have copied me, cause within that- Enough time has passed. Within that 20 house radius, whatever it was,

I was the leader. And so they've all, they've all put their- That guy's just had his front lawn done. The he knows green waste. He's got a, he's got a kid. He's got a kid. He's a brand ambassador. We've seen it on the side of his car.

Yeah. It sits out the front and you know what it's like, you know what it's like. If you miss a day when you got a full yellow and you, that's the fortnight gone, so I put the green out. So I put the green out. Okay. Except for Kath and Kim, they've put the yellow. And they knew, you know what the issue, they knew you were not trusted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They trusted themselves. And Morgan goes, oh, I'll just swap it over. And I go, I can't because I'm the one who set the tone for these people. If I then retreat my bin and put the other one out. And they

come out in the morning being like, hang on a minute, who did we copy? We copied him. I swear he had green out last night. We're in the trenches together and I've led them here. I need to go down with them. You are the captain of the Titanic and you are going down with that three piece court. They're playing, the office was playing.

Yep. So I said, we're leaving. Morgan's like, no, we have a baby and waste. You need to make sure the yellow goes out. I said, honey, I would never do that to the street. How close were you to running in and out of everyone's houses and switching their own bins? Yeah, I was pretty close.

I felt horrible. Yeah. Anyway, Morgan's gone behind my back and she's swapped it out. So our actual bin goes out. And as I was leaving this morning, because we go very early for work, obviously the bins are getting picked up.

Our bin is now looking good and it's getting picked up and all the other ones have the wrong bin. Has she brought your bins in? Quickly, has she brought the bins in this morning? I don't think so, not yet. We can hide the evidence. Oh, so they, what are you talking about? It was never me. It was never you. It was truly, I've never felt more embarrassed about it for the street.

Fair enough. And I don't want that responsibility or pressure to be the person in the future that thinks they know. Absolutely. But why is half the street down the end getting it wrong? That's the other thing. Someone's mucked up somewhere and it's just affected the entire street. You see why people start those Facebook groups. I've always been anti because it just ends up being like a big complaint session, but that's what those chats are for.

You have a microphone. Come on. Is this what life gets like when you turn 30? What are the big problems in your life, Babs? Yeah, come on. Is this what life gets like when you turn 30? What are the big problems in your life Babs? Yeah come on. Not the bins. Jess and Ducco. 8.55 happy Monday team we've cracked open that counter Monday for you but we're about done and ready to pass it over.

That's right, that's right. You've got a small baby who needs your attention Ducco. Yes, it was a bad night. Bad night. My wife messaged me, I think she was up from about 2am with her until, well, she hasn't messaged again, so maybe asleep right now. Oh, very good. Hopefully, hopefully.

Very good, everyone speak quiet. Everyone be quiet. Yeah, it's gonna be a great household to get back to. Absolutely, well I hope you've had a nice morning with us. Yeah. And now reality sets in. Now the long day starts, everyone. Before the grandparents coming over today, do you want me to send one of them to you? Please do. I'll give Gigi, you can have Poppy. So we don't have any family that live here?

Yeah. This is where you go, God I wish we did. I know, just for that support. I need an hour. Yeah. Just to run to the post office, which I know is a weekly occurrence. Obviously, I need to get to the post office. I just, I haven't seen them in months. I need to see how they've restocked the toys and random knickknacks. I want to see what they have in there. Exactly. Yeah, I must get there. Why are you selling those huge plush squishmallows at the post office?

They do some weird things. I don't understand. And do people buy all their stuff because they seem to churn through some things. They must, right? It's so annoying because it's all at like kid height. Yeah. So any parent who needs to go to the post office with their kid is going, God damn it, they're going to pick up 700 things. It's going to be a fight just to get me stamps today.

Morgan often says that when she takes me there. Well she famously can't take you grocery shopping because all you want is treats and snacks and chips, putting all the popcorn and the shapes in the trolley. Put it back. No, naughty. Naughty. What's your shape now for your day? Yeah, got the grandparents who have just said, oh we can help you out today. Are you still

moving your packing boxes? Packing boxes slowly. It's that awkward thing though, Ducco. We've still got three weeks in the house. Yeah, so you only got too much. And we sort of get the bug of like, all right, let's start packing things. I packed all our plates yesterday and Angus came home and went, bro, we're gonna need to eat off something. You want a nut? That's that, take out. He bought a giant, and I'm talking, looks like a hay bale size roll of bubble wrap. Oh yeah. So I got a little bit bubble wrap.

You're excited. Happy, did the whole kitchen and then went, uh oh. Yeah you should do. Talk to me. Wrap yourself up in it. That's fun. And then we'll pop it. Oh that's fun.

Keep popping it. I was gonna say, run into walls. Oh, I'll do that. Let's both wrap ourselves up in it and then we'll pop it. Oh that's fine. I was going to say run into walls. Oh, we'll do that. Let's both wrap ourselves up in it and then run at each other. I've been taking the kid to those activity centres, you know, with the in-ground trampolines and obstacle course. Zorb soccer. Zorb balls.

The Zorb ball soccer. I want to do that. We could make that ourselves with this big roll of bubble wrap. It's really bizarre being one of those and you bump into people and you bounce back. Totally. We watch like, we take us jumping and I just watch the Zordball soccer and people are upside down screaming for help. Everyone's overworked and understaffed. That's how I imagine Babs' soccer team looks.

That's kind of what I object to. I think it was Babs' team training. They're all wearing fricking mini skirts. What are you doing ladies? Let's take it a bit more seriously. Hey Babs got her first career soccer win last night. Oh absolutely, congratulations. What's your team called? Like are you like the Funky Monkeys or the Terrific Tigers? The Eggs? Yeah, because we're in E-grade. Come on!

Shout out to the Eggs. If you're the Eggs, what type are you? You boiled, you scrambled, you poached, you fried. Probably scrambled. Scrambled eggs. Here comes the scrambled eggs. Here we go, get out of their way. To the lady who thought she would take a soccer boot to sweep Babs's shin. I hope you're having a good hard look at yourself in the mirror today. It's unacceptable.

Played hard, you know. How unsports woman-like. Babs is limping around the office. He is. Yeah, poor thing. We're now gonna go buy some deep heat. Yeah, whack it on there. Just pop over to Darko's, he's got plenty.

I do have so much. He'd be happy to rub your shins. Hahaha. That feels weird. Yeah, thanks Jess. No, it'll feel nice once he really gets in there. He knows what he's doing. Yeah, no one rubs his shin like I do.

Shins is an androgynous zone. That's all right, isn't it? No, we're not rubbing shins. Me rubbing DP'd on anyone, it just feels a bit odd. Unless it's Shy Guy. If you made a joke about Shy Guy. If I worked a little bit harder, I'd love you to rub DP'd on me, but I just don't need it.

You still want it. I just don't want it. I got blisters from golf on my thumbs. That's why you're wearing glove. I made fun of you for your glove. I see the reason you use it. That's why you're wearing glove. Yep, yep.

Anyway, we're out of here, anything else? What's tomorrow? Tomorrow's Tuesday. Eotis. Year of the Soul. What's the theme? Don't know yet. We'll get there.

You know not to ask me 24 hours prior. Year of the Soul. One day you'll surprise me, I know. Alpha Box, more chances at the Call of Fame. The Ross Cookers were great today. God, they were cooking. Yeah, very good. Cooking.

Origin tickets, we draw those on Friday, but hey, you know, enjoy this Monday. Enjoy it. Yeah, get out there and just live it. We'll see. Whether you're packing up a house, dealing with an unsettled baby, rubbing Voltaren on yourself or DP. Or talking to your robo vac. Or talking...

Oh, didn't you die? Yeah, we'll gather away. What are you up to today, Shy Guy? Do you want a new birthday? Do you want a new robo vac? No, no. Cause you've got your 30th coming up this weekend. I do.

We are not invited. Also, you weren't in the room when we asked Shy Guy What are you doing for your 30th? He goes, just having some friends over We go, what time do you want us? He goes, oh no, I'm just seeing my other friends I don't like to mix friends You guys aren't invited to that? Oh

Good Babs Oh, the thing is, I don't know if she is joking No, I know I'd believe she was invited I'm also not having anyone over. We should do a- Okay, you're going out with them. Same, same.

We should do a work dinner. That's cute. A team dinner. Do you know what? Can I bring Ducco in on? I was texting Shy Guy something over the weekend. I said, what are you doing? He goes, I'm making homemade pizza. I said, babe, that's what you invite us around for.

You know how that issues him inviting us over for dinner by getting take away. I'm like, no, no, I'm not coming all the way to your house for us to order Domino's. He does homemade pizza. So that's a fun team activity. How does he do it though? Do you make the dough?

No. Oh, of course not. See, I knew you'd be turning off the fire. I assumed there was dough making and then we could all do our own toppings. Oh, we can still do that. We can knead the dough. We could knead the dough. I could be fun. Knead the dough. We could knead the dough.

I'm not kneading anything. Come on, you love kneading the dough. Let's just rock up at his house. Happy birthday to you. Pizza party. This Friday, we'll do the show from your house. When's your birthday's on Saturday? Saturday, technically.

Okay, oh, you won't catch me doing much on a Saturday. We're gonna come knead some dough in honor of the Mr. Guy's 30th. We'll work it out. It's 30th. We're working out. It's birthday week. I mean, yeah. Yep. Oh my god, we're not invited.

We're not. We're not. He doesn't like to mix up. We're truly colleagues to him. Business, we're business and he has pleasure planned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a job interview or something like that. No, I don't.

Anyway, we're outta here. We will see you tomorrow. Bye bye. Bye. Daddy, you're hurting my baby brother.