Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Its still nice to be invited!

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Ducko didn't get invited to their streets Christmas party, Jess had an hit herself with the door and we bring back an old favourite!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho range is here at the cafe. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall to power. We live in the day yet. Podcasts, fuck yeah. Hi, podcasters.

What's up? What's up? Gangsta. Popcour. Party people. Party people. Hell of a Wednesday. A couple of final times. The shows are just going so fast now.

They're just blurring into one. I know, I know. Final licks. We brought back quiz with a twist, just to say that was the final quiz with a twist. Yeah, fun game. Oh my gosh. Jesus, it's all happening.

Are you feeling more limbo-y? Yeah. Or more real and freaking? Because I think I'm dipping into more real and freaking. I think I'm more limbo-y. Are you more limbo-y still? It's like one arm. What are you doing?

That's just funny. I'm watching a guy drinking coffee on the balcony. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, this guy's a shirt off. He's just so upset. When you distracted, she is really feeling her feelings, Jucko. Yeah, I'm sad.

You need to do more therapy. Yeah, you are. You know, get a bit more in touch with your feelings. You're emotionally very closed. Okay, thank you. You should open the door, not into your face, but you should open the door to your feelings more. Come on, let us in.

What's going on in Babs' world? Um. Besides an appointment or two today. Yeah. Having to do some shopping. Yep. Might go Christmas lights looking tonight. Christmas lights looking.

Do you have that app with the map? Let's really go away. That's a thing. There's an app locally. You can have a look at the houses that have gone, I'm doing it so you can go look at their house. We've just answered Babs' Therapy tent. Nice.

Musty as all hell of that. I like opening windows. That's a lie. It's a tent, bitch. There's no fucking windows in this tent. Unless you're on that boogie glamping. Yeah. Obviously.

It's basically a swag and we're all just trying to pile in. Barbara. Yes. What's keeping you up at night? Oh, God. Nice, nice, nice. Oh, that's a lot of things. Well, you know, climate change or what are we talking about?

You know, that whole tactic of like, you just don't talk and then they hopefully will make up for it? She wins. She doesn't talk about it. She's really silent. If you do that to you and I, we go, all right, I feel the silence. I'm happy to talk. I'm stubborn. Classic.

Yeah. Tourist. It's so true. What's tourist's main traits? Stubborn. Stubborn, like a bull. Stubborn? Are they outgoing?

Not particularly, I don't think. They're not a fire sign. I think they're an earth sign. They're not grounded. They like comfortable things. They like routine, I think. Don't like to be rocked. Stability.

They don't like change. And you've had a fair bit of change in the last couple of months. Hasn't she? That is not conducive to a Tory and living their best life. No wonder you're not giving me anything now? Because he's like, no, he's destroying me, he's leaving. You're the cause of the chance. Yeah, you're just making my, you know, routine change.

You're ruining her aura. Make sure you tell your parents I say goodbye as well. Oh, I will. Yeah. I'm a little video message. Yeah, I think I should. You want to. You can say goodbye to docy and grotty too.

Yeah, I don't really don't them that well. Okay. Don't know that. Then don't. Your parents, though, have been a big part of my up. I know. Sim and Damo. Shog, I tell your mom, I said, actually, give you a mom a big fucking hug for me.

Oh, can we get her up? She's got two more days. Can she come up? No, she's at school. What? They're finished, aren't they? Nah, Friday. Get her in for my last show.

Oh, she's at school. No, mate. She can take the day off. It's me. It's a last day. It's a school. You can't take. The teachers can't take off.

Why doesn't she do an excursion? Bring the children. Yeah. It's just a bunch of kids here. Yeah. Just so Sharon can hug her. It's just chaos. All right, back on the bus.

I don't know if she listens to the podcast anymore. She's really full of us. I think she's a live listener these days. Oh. There'd be a big chunk of her knowledge missing, though, because she was already behind catching up on the pod and has to jump to live? Yeah, I think so.

That's tough. It's tough, man. That's tough. A lot out there. What's keeping you up at night, Shago? Nothing. Do you sleep soundly every night? Do you go to bed?

I'd imagine you in a vampire coffin position. I literally sleep like that. And then eyes close, gone. Turn off. Yeah, yeah, obviously. Do you have a clapper? What's that? Turn the light off.

Not the clap. Not the clap. Not the clap. A clapper. No, I have a smart speaker. Do you say hello, turn the light off? Yeah, I go like Alexa, turn off the light. Oh, of course you do.

It's very shy guy. Yeah, and I'll be like, set my alarm while you're at it. My mum has a Google nest, and her trying to talk to the nest is just so funny. It's funny when old people. Because she's got multiple nests, and I'm like, I'm pretty sure you only needed one, but she bought one for like three rooms of the house. No, that's normal. Oh, is it?

I thought you just needed like one. Hey, Google, did she say hello nest? She says, hello, Google. Please put on Rihanna. But because she's a tight-ass and doesn't play for Spotify Premium, it then plays ads or does similar. And so you end up getting J-Lo. You go, well, that's not Rihanna.

That's not right. I could definitely see your mum doing that. Her having an argument with the Google Nest trying to play Miss Rachel for Lichia. But Google Ness doesn't acknowledge Ms. Rachel, or she wasn't pronouncing her correctly, I don't know. So that was a whole saga. I went, well, maybe upgrade your bloody subscription and you'd get the premium annals. Her accent, her Italian accent's probably getting in the way in there too.

It's a lot of confusion for the tech in that house. Jeez. Yeah, okay. Well, anyway. What's keeping you up at night, brother? This move? Yep, yep. Got a bit on.

The to-do list. Have you got a to-do list? Yeah, Morgan does, and I just get delegated things. Is it on the shared note? Oh, no, we've actually gone on a hand. We're old school like that. That is old. You know, we've still got a calendar.

Yeah, we've still got our like to-do lists on the week. Yep. And has she designated? That's a D, that's a D, that's a D. No, it's more just like, I need you today. to do this, this and this. I'm like, yes, boss. Yeah. I run around. Sorry, yes, sorry. Yeah, okay.

Don't yell at me. I live in a prison. Don't you scamper around? Sorry, that's Jess. I'm scamper around. What I'm in your house? I'm just, I'm just tearing shit up. Oh, help, Doc. Oh, crush. Crush. Oh, Jess, no. No. You don't need the spare bed. Crush, crush, crush. Anyway.

You've got to go take your wife and daughter to the airport now. I do. I forgot about that. Yeah. I don't want you to be late. No, neither at all. Does Morgan have airport anxiety? Is she like a let's get to the airport two hours early? No, but today she does because she's taking Flo. We've flown with Flo to New Zealand, but she was three months breastfeeding, full sleep. And you were together. To together. Now, Flo's first flight without me, just her and Morgan,

and she's also not going to be asleep for it. She'll be fully awake. Totally. So it's like a very much. Does the dummy situation? Doesn't take it. Oh, and you know what they say, try and do something on take off and landing for the ears? I guess the bottle? The bottle? But will she want to, again? It's only, what, 50-minute flight?

Yeah, I don't know. She's a big girl. She'll always eat. She's like, well, if you're offering, I'll go for a round two. She's healthy. She's healthy, as everyone puts it. Yeah, the doctor literally is. She's such a healthy baby.

Yes, she is. When I wake up, wake up, wake up. When you wake up, it's Jess and Tucker. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know, I got the shit that you like. only one show to wake up with. I'm not that easy to tang. Jess.

Your ass. Fan, full force. You're going to explain. I've got someone in this is office as urine on my pants. Got him going insane. Yeah, shy guy. Mass changilina. Let's changolinia.

I am so thirst. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Okay, talk it. This is Jess and Ducko. Yes, it is right on 6 o'clock. Welcome to Wednesday, team. Shows D. Little Picks.

Three little little little Pee little Pee little Pee little Little Tee little Pee. Three. Oh, we haven't known three is coming out. Yeah, yeah. Only 24 hours.

Ew, Coco Mellon. Is that cocoa melon? Very popular. I'm not a... That is crack for the children. It is not good for them. Keep Florence away from that one. Keep flog away from your drug, shy guy.

Yeah. Shy guy's pedaling drugs to the children. You got to do what you've got to do, you know? Yeah, mate, it's tough economic times. Oh, it is, it is. Darko, three. Three to go. How are you feeling?

Ask me every day. I know. Remember 21 days? Yeah, I know. I'm feeling like I got boxes all through my house and I've got a bunch of things to do. It's not like it's been the same thing going on for him. As we get closer, I would be thinking the feelings are compounding. Logistics are getting even more hectic.

There's so much to do. It's just one of those situations. You walk in there's a box and there's a pile of things you've made from ages ago. You've got to put that there and do that. The annoying thing is, because of Flo, who's eight months, we can't pack while she's asleep. Yep. Because it wakes her? Too noisy, too clunky, let alone rifling through her room that you need to tardy up.

Yep. But then when she's awake, it's like, it's hard to do it because you've got her. She's not in the age of entertaining herself. Not really. Pam can't be in charge. No, no. So, Pam's anxious as all hell. You're strapping it to your chest and trying to do things that way.

Oh, she's way too heavy. We got her weight yesterday, nine kilos. Nine. Big girl. Do you know what the average four and eight month old is? I don't. I wonder. Yeah.

What does the thing all the nurses and medical professionals always say when they see her? She's healthy. She's healthy. She looks healthy. God, she's such a healthy baby. I'm like, you mean big. You don't have to go to the gym. You just have to strap her to you.

But make sure you rotate once on the chest, sometimes on the back. Yeah. One in the right arm, one in the left arm. Yeah, yeah. to rotate around because right now we're just sort of dumping her on the bed while we're trying to pack and it's, you know. Yes, yeah. Let alone you've got to pack up the bed.

You've got to roll off at some point. You've packed away all your throat cushions. Oh, no, it's just so much to do. So little time. Oh, it's, yeah, it's, it sucks. Moving sucks. There is no nice thing about moving. Everything sucks.

Leaving us sucks. I get it. Leaving the team, you know, there's just, I got to leave my mark in this office one way at a time. So, yeah. Well, I think people have finished up in the. the office before we have. So you've run out of time. This office is pretty quiet.

Our GM, as we touched on the other day, he's packed up already. We're still here. It does feel, it does feel quiet. Something that might make you feel a little better is one thing got packed up. I guess behind your back, you don't have to worry about it. Fishies. The fish are gone. The fishies got packed up.

You don't have to worry about dismantling the fish tank. Kyle from Finn Vision, our best mate. He came in. He came in. And Babs, there was a note left. Yeah, the fishies left us a note. Wait, is it from the fish? Yeah, it's from the fish.

Okay, let's go. And? Neat handwriting. It must have been mine. It says, Thank you for having us. We had a great time staying with you all from the fishies. And then they drew a photo of a fish.

They drew a photo. That's a weird way to have seen. You know whose fish didn't add to that? Jess's fish. That's right. Because it was dead. It was eaten in your belly. Not Babbs the human.

Babs's fish yesterday. Very full. Really? Yeah. Has she eaten a few other of the fish? Because you know there were a couple of rice cookers, which we never got around to naming in honour of the rice cooks. There were a couple of extra fish in there. Did her fish gobble up the extras? I think it ate everything.

The snail's getting sucked up by the filter as I went past yesterday, and Babes' fish looks like it's eaten 14 others. And my fish is just chilling. Babs is there with a stick trying to save the snail from being sucked into the filter. Yeah, so it's probably best the fish tank's gone. Yeah, there's one thing you can tick off. You know what I mean? You didn't have to lift a finger.

Yeah, well, I was, yeah, I was looking forward to feeding them over summer. I knew you were going to come back, drive. Oh, mate. Pop in. Yeah, I was going to be flying back feet. At least, you've fed the fish today. I'll miss my fish already. I said bye to him yesterday, though.

Did you go, give it a little pat? Yeah. But just your fish, not the other fish. I don't care about this. I didn't even see shy guys. I didn't really bond with my replacement fish, so I also did not care for her. Still grieving the loss of the eaten fish. Your interest in the fish.

fell apart the minute yours died. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. The fish were dead. I just, I couldn't. Yeah. I couldn't just give me a band-aid fish. I know.

To plug the hole in my heart. It didn't work. It didn't work. No. Sorry, I can't be bought like that. Anyway. That'd be eaten, no. Big show team.

We've got our show guys dips. A lick. For the T. For the T-Fal Dolcey ice cream maker. Yes. The last ice cream. The last time you'll hear, guy, give terrible clues, Ducco.

Wow, that's going to be a moment. I hope the last lick is a good lick. We'll find out. I hope it doesn't go on the first one. You know, I hope you get a lot of clues to remember this. Yeah, true, actually. I think I can stretch this one out. Ooh.

Are you going to be extra cryptic? Yeah. Okay. The first three. Okay. He's got to plan out. All right, all right. More chances at Alpha Bucks for $10,000.

We're bringing back a game. We haven't played in about eight months. Yeah. Which is very exciting. Since we announced the Morgan's pregnant. Oh, must be more than that then. Jeez, it must be. It must be.

That was October last year. Oh, my God. It's been a year and two months. Have we not played it at all in 2025? I don't think so. I think we have. Oh, my God, that's wigged me out. Has it so thrilled you get another crack.

I'm excited too. At quiz with a twist. So that's happening. Up next, though. Oh, geez, big article to cover. The average time people last in bed. And Chaga has a grid. He's got scientific evidence.

He's done a pie chart. Oh, we've got a pie chart to start the show. Good way to finish the year. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Well, right now, though, it would be rude to finish off the year without giving us a little bit of hope, a little bit of insight into how long the average male can last

during a sexy time. This could go either way, Ducko. Yeah. Men could be going, oh, my God. I'm working harder than I need to. I'm above average. I'm killing it. Or people could be going, oh, my God.

How am I meant to like to live? Last that long. What I'm meant to do? I'm exhausted already. I feel like it's going to go that way. Okay. I feel like we do one of these articles once a quarter. The data's always changing.

It's always changing. The survey sample size is bigger. Love Honey have done this one. They have done great work this year. Haven't they done great work for us? They're in the payroll. They say the average. So we do it in age brackets.

I've got one, two, three, four, five, six brackets for you. Okay. So from 18 to 24. The youngies. 16.4 minutes, so 16.1.14 minutes is the study that majority find themselves lasting. 16. Can you cast your mind back to when you were in that age bracket, Ducko? Yeah, I don't know. 16 minutes. It's hard. I wasn't doing my music trick then where you play. You put songs on and you sort of know.

And thrusting to the beat. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. They say the average 1824-year-old lasts sold 16 minutes. However, 5% of this group reports going down for between one or two minutes. Ooh. Yeah, because I don't know what they're doing. 13% 3 to 5 minutes They're too excited You know what I mean Exactly

They don't have that control Over the minds You know what I mean And they're selfish Yeah You know what I mean We're just sort of yeah They're looking after number one

Well then this is the highest one 25 to 34 Chaghan Icebra Our bracket Yes What do you reckon it is This is the And so this is the longest

lasting group Yeah 22 minutes Not that high Oh Yeah 18 Yes, 18.29 minutes.

Just a couple of minutes. Off a 20 session. 120 seconds can make all the difference. But 18 minutes. Yeah, to be honest, that feels like a fair bit. Depends why you've eaten that day. It depends on the mood. Are we including foreplay in this?

When you've got, hang on a minute, let's also be real. That is prime parenting bracket as well. Where is a parent? finding 18 minutes of a long time. Yeah, this is a bit of a bogus statement. Are they all single? What is this? Yeah, what's going on there?

It says 21% of men. You can have a couple of kids, couple of animals. Yeah, last between... 21% in this bracket lasts between 11 and 15 minutes. 15% can last 21 to 30 minutes.

Is this self-reporting as well? Yeah, I mean, you've got to put an asterisk on that, don't you? Who's doing that? Are you, literally, is there someone in the room? Is there someone from Love Honey with a stopwatch in the room? Because unless they've got eyes on the activity,

Like the Guinness World Records. That's what it needs to be. Is it verified? 35 to 44, 17 minutes. That's from mid-30s to 40s. It's experienced that slight decrease. Hormonal changes come in. And then we get to 45 to 54.

It goes down to 14 minutes. Oh, so now we've even dipped below the 18-year-olds. It's one of the bigger drop-offs. Men's sex session since last just under 15. 25% are 10 minutes, 18% or 11 minutes. It just starts to drop. How much do you really need, I guess? I mean, when you get that age, too.

Exactly. As long as you've looked after your partner as well, you know. Once again, is four-play included in this? Great question. You know, what's happening? At when did they start the stopwatch? Exactly, exactly. You know, Babs is looking for a side hustle.

Maybe she should join the Love Honey team. I could see you doing that, Babs. Don't worry about working at the record shop. All right, so you be you, all right, and then, Jess and I'll be the couple. Yep. And we're like, okay, like, are we good to start? What do we do? Are we good?

Yep, go. All right. No, you need to be part of the mood. If you want accurate data, you've got to set the tone for the couple. Sex it up a bit. Okay. Are we ready to start, Miss? How do I do that?

Just go with it. Are we ready to start, Miss? Yeah, go. I like Miss. This was nice. All right, done, Miss. How much? Five seconds.

She still looked down. Not a supportive. She looked at her watch. The commitment to the bit. She's method. She goes, what's in a proper amount of time I can say without offending him? Oh, no, stuff, and I'll go for it. Go five seconds.

Jess and Ducko. I did the world's fastest TAFE course yesterday, Ducko. Yes. How to hack your mate, 101. Pretty good course. Oh, yeah. I can recommend it. Yeah.

That must have been the course you did when you hacked out chat GPT. Yeah, this time yesterday, I got your chat GPT wraps. That's right. But it only rude, I suppose, if one of you didn't have, Well, I mean, you had the tech skills. I had to spend 24 hours, but I've done it. You done it? I hacked you, bro.

What have you got for me? So for 2025, Ducko's chat GPT wrapped. Yes. You were going to tell us this word. No, I wanted to keep it K-5. I had to hack you. I want to keep it under wraps. Your third most GPTed request.

Yes. Because you obviously needed to keep revising and learning. Yeah. Hey, chat, GPT. How do I? tailor oversized t-shirts to be more fitted because I can't buy normal fitted t-shirts anymore. And it couldn't even give me a good answer. Couldn't give you a good answer.

And sewing, who has the time to learn how to sew? Can't sew. Your second most GPTed. Question? It's kind of two in one this one. Oh, yeah. I can't believe this one wasn't number one, if I'm honest. Yeah.

Hey, chat, GPT, how do I appear taller or how do I make my Johnson at least appear taller? That wasn't my number one? No. I couldn't believe it. the ducko. I think that would be up there for my number one. Your number one. Oh, you cheeky bugger. Hey, chat, GPT.

Show me videos of tall men failing at things. Did it bad at all. You don't go to YouTube anymore. You go to GPT. And it goes like, I can't discriminate or hate. I'm like, yes, you can on this. I want to be hightest. And it was funny because even you tried to go incognito mode.

It went, no, no, I still can't do it. You just want to see tall people failing things. I'm so sick of seeing short people memes. I just want to see some tall people ones. Absolutely. They're not prolific enough on the internet. They don't get a hide stick. They don't get a height stick when they try and go on the teacups.

No. That's only the shorties. Wait, I got a different result to that, Jess. Hang on a minute. Did you hack ducker as well, Babs? Well, I did. I thought if you were doing it, I better. Oh, my God, the whole team's been hacking me yesterday.

I didn't see you in the course. Oh, you must have done the online version. What did you get? Gen Z. Gen Z. What's your results? Yeah. I had, why are there no oats and honey in my work kitchen?

And can I, how can I act politely? ask my receptionist to order them because I'm really upset. That's funny. I actually got on the same course. Oh my God. Even though I know what I'm going, I just have to do a refresher. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, if anyone could do it, tech card.

I feel like I missed out on the course. You've already done the course. I know, I know. You inspired us to do the course. Yeah. Your top question on my result was how do I hide the fact I pissed my pants at work? Oh, how interesting. It gave me some good responses.

It said blame it on the GM. Yeah. Water on the floor and blame the GM. We're ducking over to El Español la ha-hast. I'm so glad. I didn't know if we'd make it. Be rude not to come before the end of the year. A little bit of potatoes, brothers.

Thank you. A bit of pei ha ha. Bit a tapath. Tapath. I love a better tapath. I know what you like. Harmon. Oh, I love harmon.

You like harmon? You like harmon, shagat. See. No. That's the most yes and he's ever. It's because he saw his hat and his hair out today. Got what nationality to that was, so I hope that player is. See, Signore.

See, it would cover most of Europe, so you're right. Yeah. Loves a paella, shodagh does. Love the paella. Anyway, Spanish work officer has been fired for a habit most bosses would normally celebrate. Turning up to work too early. No, did we not have this conversation just the other day? We did.

How do I feel about people who arrive early? Too early, too. They're the worst! So she's 22 years old. Doesn't know what she did. But she's been worn repeatedly since 2023 to stop arriving between 645 AM and 7 a.m., which was a full 40 minutes before she was due to start. So let's imagine she's a shift worker, maybe she does the morning.

She's working at Spanish Cotonon or something. She's working at Spanish Cotnod. What is she even doing 45 minutes? She wasn't allowed to clock in or begin work until her start time of 7.30. She kept showing up with nothing to do, so her boss eventually lost patience and fired her for some serious misconduct, arguing that her relentless early bird routine meant she wasn't actually contributing to the company, only ignoring instructions. Jeez, that's a hell of an interpretation. Doesn't it?

She must have been very, she mustn't have been great at her job. And she must have been there, like, early being like, can I start now? Can I start now? Maybe trying to get the early hours. Maybe trying to get the early hours. Maybe trying to show she was precocious. She's, she's, I'm here, I'm a company lady. She's a go-get-up.

But the Spanish way of life, and the only thing I'm drawing this on is would be similar to Italian. Don't show us up. No. Don't work too hard. They have siesters, for Christa. They stop working in the middle of day. Just to get our paycheck, exactly. To pay for lunch and a nice lifestyle.

The siesta just drove me insane. Oh, I know. God forbid you want something at 2pm. Oh my God. The whole place you shut down. It was like nothing opens to 11 and then it two, everything shuts again. Then it sort of amble's open at 6pm. Exactly.

If you want to go retail shopping at 9pm, it's popping off. But the way... The dinner at 11pm was just, it wigged me out. It is challenging. It's weird. Last time we were in Europe, what? We had an 18 month old. And oh my God, the only...

The only people in the restaurants were other people with small children and clearly tour us. So you go, I can't adapt to your way of life because she won't allow it. So please tell the kitchen to start cooking. You'd be going to bed and people would be going after their day. Exactly. And you're the one going, can you guys keep it down? Nah, nah. Spain's just come alive.

It's just doing what it does. You've got to get on our clock. So maybe this woman, she wasn't embracing the culture. No. Well, judges heard that she... It went to court. It went to court and the judges didn't, they didn't let her. She didn't win us, but she didn't get fined, but they sided with the boss.

Oh, she went to unfair dismissal. And they were like, no, that's a fair dismissal. She even tried to, okay, she did try to log in early some days before her company had even started. Her employer, oh, here we go. Here we go. Okay, more pieces of the puzzle. Her employer also accused her of a separate breach of trust selling a used company car battery without permission. Oh.

Okay, so she's just getting there. Before the lights turn on, to pill for office supplies. She's stealing things is what's happening. It's one thing for me to take a staple. every now and then. It's another to sell company equipment. How's what the judge said, though? The court backed the company, and they said this.

She was showing excessive punctuality, but her stubborn refusal to obey workplace rules is a breach. Wow. I've never heard that excessive punctuality. So now when my friends knock on my door half an hour early when I've said we're meeting at 11, I'm going to take them to court for excess. You're doing excessive punctuality.

Get out of my home. Yeah. And also, don't steal things. I don't sell used car batteries. Jeez, I tell you what, I've got an interruption. Oh, yeah, breaking news. Probably brought to you by Macca's new Grinch Meals. It's available for a limited time at participating Mackie Dees.

Mate, Christmas days away. How many days is seven? Is it eight today? Eight or seven? We have a countdown for my departure. For your series finale. What do we got? See, I've been working towards the 19th.

You both have computer. What day? It is, come on. I was doing it in my head. Babs goes out of the days. Hey, yeah, Babs is beautiful minding it. Babs is how they going, I was thinking using my brain.

I wasn't doing anything because I thought Babs was doing it. Babs' issue is she's not near a window. She's windowless out in her little portal. So she needed to come in here with a whiteboard marker, beautiful mind it on our window. But, you know, that would have been a couple of steps. Would have really eaten into her time. She actually had another chat GPT thing from my missing chat GPT.

That she didn't get to say that she was upset about not being able to say? What was it? It was How to Sound Cool in front of your 24-year-old work, colleague. That was what I most chat which, you know what? Fair. Send memes, it said. Drip, cat, or no cap.

6-7. I was like, what to do when she doesn't reply to memes? What was it as advice? She said, stop sending memes. No, I think you've interpreted that as keep sending memes. One will break her down. The gear is strong. She'll eventually like it. I know it's good gear. You're just got to

find the right thing. Yeah. Hey man, it's been two years. I haven't bonded with her anymore either. It's fine. Well, you guys had a little bonding moment yesterday where she saw you capitulate. I believe where I'm going to pack. We're going to unpack something exactly.

We've got that $1,000 as our call of fame of the year. So we're technically still putting people into that. Love that. But absolutely, there was a, I've worked so hard to try and appear cool in front of Babs and to get her to like hang out with me outside of work. I think yesterday around, yesterday around 840, you appeared pretty cool in front of Babs. When we bonded. We did bombs.

Blood sisters. Do you know what I've made the mistake again today? Same... Don't. Same undies. Not the same soiled ones, but like the same... Soil is such an awful word. It's not a great word.

Sounds like you pooed your brain. Yeah, I know, but I meant like bloody felt a bit too. There was no winning. There was no winning. But like the same situation. Yeah, okay. Well, let's monitor it. You're not wearing a white skirt again, I?

No, we're denim. Dark denim. Good. For that exact chair might be compromised. Babs, where's the Fabreys? I regret bringing this up. That's on me. Yeah, you brought us now.

Why don't I do that? Do you think that brought us closer or tore us further apart, Babs? Closer, right? Yeah, yeah. Taco. You just need to bleed before you leave. And Babs and you all... I tried peeing my pants last week, and it didn't work, you know?

Probably wasn't your pee. I got closer to Shiga, I wore his undies. In fact, Shaggot gave me a live somewhere yesterday. And those undies still in the back seat. Really? I saw them. The emergency bear. Yeah.

Emergency Pairs. So, Ducco, you returned them and said you had washed them, which was very courteous. I did, yeah. But is it like when someone gives you back your cake tin or your Tupperware? I washed it. You rewashed it. Of course I did. Did you rewash it and put it back in the car?

I knew you would. That's funny. So you've rewashed it and taken it going, well, this stays in the car. Yeah. That's a very clean pair of undies. So clean. Yeah. Wow.

And I hope someone else needs them at some time. As soon as that happens, I'll text you straight away. Ducco, the undies are back in play. undies are back in play. And I was like, I never washed them. Hey, let's play Alphabucks. 13, 10, 60. I've only got six of these left. Come on. Come on. We would love to give you $10,000 just in time for Christmas. How many days away, Babs? Eight. Eight days.

That's cool. We'll play next. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabat's on hit. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time.

Hey, we are playing for 10K. We're going to have a player. Sit up a bit straighter. We got sea dog. How you going? My sea dog. Oh, we're so good. How are you?

I'm really well. Thanks so much for having me. Oh, an absolute pleasure and honour. Yep. I feel like I would remember a sea dog. Is this your first time contributing to the program? No, I've played once before about two years ago. I bet the letter O.

I didn't do too bad, but I didn't win. Okay. Today's Seedog's Day. We all need a pump up and some. Come on, Seedog. What do you want to spend the money on this time? Well, I was telling Babs, you know, season of giving, but I want to give back to myself. A couple years ago.

I went to this exhibition of Ken Knight's paintings, and he had a trip to Antarctica, and I just loved what I saw, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. So when I get myself my own piece, they're pretty expensive. I love this motivation. Will 10 grand get you a piece, or would you have to dip in a bit more? I think I have to dip in a bit more, but that would definitely help. All righty. Well, let's get you a portion of a painting.

The letter you're going to work with C Dogg. It's solid. It's R. You know why. when I was playing yesterday, I was guessing on the radio, it's going to be, guessing on the radio, it's going to be D or an R. Yesterday was D, now I've got the R. Gee, C-dogs all over it.

Might have some bloody psychic abilities here. I think so. So does that mean you've been practicing with R? Well, me and my co-worker, Sarah, we play on our lunch break. S-unit. That's right. When the girls get together, get out of their way. When they're practicing alpha box.

No work is being done. No, why? Hey, you know what's being done, Alpha Bucks prep. See, Dog, let's rip and tear. Your time will start after the first question. You're ready? Yep. Starting with letter, let's go.

Let's go. Starting with letter R, we need you to name. A school subject. Oh, my God. Path. A male celebrity. Ronald Reagan. A non-alcoholic drink.

A ribino. A beauty brand. Oh, God. Um, part. An animated character. Um. Good Lord. Part.

An international city. Um, oh no. I'm blinking. Oh no. A shape. A rectangle. Yeah, something in the shed. Oh, no.

Dear, dear, dear. Well, we got off to a bad start and a bad game. We got three. Yay. That was so bad. School subject. Seedogog, if we go through and we talk about all the time, religion. Religion.

A big one. A short guy's favorite, robotics. Look, a male celebrity, I gave it to you because I kind of know what you were trying to say. You're trying to say Ronald Reagan? You said Ronald Reagan, you know. I don't even know if she said Ronald really. I don't even, yeah, I just gave it to you for a bit of fun. That's fine.

A beauty brand could have been a Revlon or Redkin, an animated character, Rattatooie or the Roadrunner, International City, Rome, Rio de Janeiro, and something in the shed ran out of time. Rake, I think you did say anyway. It would have been correct. Look, we don't get the cash or the, you know, the artwork. but you do get your own artwork though. Oh, hello. You've manifested this Seed Dog. You get yourself a limited edition,

Jess and Ducko merch pack with a rice cooker print. I love it. Yes. There was only so many of those printed, Sea Dog. You are in elite company, my friend. Oh, my God. So happy. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. Thank you for joining the show and Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. Yes! Yes! Sea Dog! Yes! That's it.

Oh, ho, ho, see dog. The first one to homey. That was fantastic. Well done, Seedog. Thanks for playing. Seed dog. Thanks so much. Have a good morning.

You as well. Bad play. How can we not now? Bad play, but hell of a time. Oh, hell of a time. And that's what we like. Jess and Duckow. Wednesday morning team.

Poor, less than 20 minutes. The final lick. It's the final lick. Oh, Sean, can you get that made up to the opener, please? Come on. You've got 20 minutes. minutes, he's going to lick for the last time in 2025, in front of Ducko. Yep.

For our last T-Fal adultery ice cream maker, you identify the ice cream. He's licking, you win said ice cream maker. Goodness me. That's a hell of an afternoon. Right now, though, something bad happened in my street on the weekend team. And you know, I've had a, you know, it's been a, it's been a, what do you know, turbulent time in my street, I suppose. I've got Kathleen Kim across the road, who are big fans of me.

They show me their garden. Oh, my God. Have you told them you're going? Have they seen the full sales? I don't think so because it's on the other side of the street. Yes, yes. I don't have the hard to tell them. Also, because it'll be a half an hour conversation in their nursery.

You don't have time to spare half a half an hour. Yeah, no, I don't. But a few other people on the street have all seen it and started noticing. Yes. Basically, there's a young family down the end of the street. And they always, their kids always ride their bikes down our street. And they always call out for Pam. They love Pam.

Even though Pam goes off at them every time and does not love them back. It is not a two-way street. No. They're like, hi, Pam, Pam. Have you tried to introduce her one time? Is that how they know her name? And they always go on to pat her, and Pam always looks like she's going to get her teeth out. I'm like, no, no, just don't touch her.

Like, you know, Pam is good with, like, humans, but toddlers, as you know, people are weird, she doesn't really understand what they are. And I think you've described it before at her eye height. So I think she sees everything as a challenge. Yep. Like, literally, it's smiling. Oh, she's bearing her teeth. She's bearing teeth to me.

She doesn't get it. She's an animal. Wait till Flo starts walking. She is going to wig out. It's got to be an interesting time. But I was in Sydney over the weekend doing the weather. And so I was obviously there for a few nights. And I get a call from Morgan.

Now, I'd just been texting her, so I knew everything was fine. When I got the call, I was thinking, gee, something must be wrong here. And I was with some friends, so I pick up a call. I was like, hey, and she goes, you won't believe it. Oh, my God. And she was sounding very distressed. I was like, what's going on? What's going on?

She goes, I just had to drive flow somewhere, and I drove down. The street is having a street party, and we weren't invited. Oh, what? I was like, come again. What time a day? 4 p.m. Of a Saturday afternoon. She was like, there's a marquee.

There's all these drinks. I drove past and they sort of halfway to me but looked awkward. No. No. A Christmas event. A community street park. I said drive home. Check our letterbox, which we never check and see if there's an invite in there.

So she did. And she goes, she calls me back. She goes, there's no invite. We have not been invited for, do you think this is because we're leaving? And I said it could be, but it's nice to be invited. I do so much for this street. The question is. were Kath and Kim there?

No, they weren't there, Paley. Because I'd almost say, it's one thing for the hosts. Yeah. It's another for your mates. Yeah. Not to tell you. Not to bring you along. Hey, what are you bringing to the potlark?

I'll make sure I get something different. Exactly. They didn't even mention it, but they weren't invited. None of us got invited. And I said, Morgan's like, why are we invited? This is halving the street. It was, if we were staying, it'd be war. It'd be a full blood bath.

You know what I mean? But the funniest thing is, I did say to Morgan, well, honey, maybe it's because you don't smile to anyone in the street. Our dog's barking at children. You don't smile at the street. You're picking fights with the neighbours because of the driveway being blocked. I may have got everyone on a parking fine one time. One time.

That's what a news spreads, brother. Do you even, let's be real, would you have gone? No, but it's nice to be invited. Jess and Ducko. But right now, Ducko, I don't, have I told you I've been to Gaga? I don't know. Bab, Shogga. I don't know if I mentioned it.

Maybe we've been wearing the same shirt for two weeks? 12 days. Don't be so dramatic. She hasn't changed her shirt in a couple of weeks. Luckily, it had a wash. It did have a wash because I got rained on. Gaga summoned the rain. She used to do rain on me, her song with Ariana.

Got a little musty, so I did run it through a wash. I'm so glad. And I kept going out every 10 minutes to see if it had dried yet because I didn't want it to be blanched in the sun. You're not going to put that thing in the dryer? How dare I? How dare I hate the dry as it is But this will

God, I almost should have hand washed it Putting him in the washing machine Was probably a risk Yeah But yes, did go twice to the mayhem ball But there was an incident on Saturday night I wanted to get your perspective on Yes

As someone who has attended many concerts All right A bit of concert etiquette This could have happened anywhere I assume So I want to make sure We stamp out this behaviour Well you've come to the right

I go to a few gigs man All right There might actually be three we need to talk about. Okay. We were in the Mosh pit. I was very lucky to be gifted some tickets. My hairdresser was trying to get rid of them, and they were front GA.

Jeez. So we're with the punters, man. Did you get there early? Early enough. So we were maybe, if everyone was single file from where we were to where Garga ended up, maybe 30 deep. Okay. Well, not bad. So you were in it.

We were in it, all right? So I would have thought these were hardcore fans. First incident, and I did text the group, someone brought a rack of ribs. from the canteen chaos situation into the mosh. Are you eating a rack of ribs? Well, we did have this chat the other day when I was at Kendrick and I saw someone having a full, even though it wasn't ribs, it wasn't as unique, having a full meal,

I just said, are you, is that, is this the time to do it? Is this the time to do? Baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, ribs. Chili, baby, bat. And yours had the element. Is that you, that was me. To be honest, first thing that came to my mind. And it was before she was.

Before she started, to be fair, was your meal during Kendrick? It was also pre. So I respect that they got the ribs, but standing up eating ribs, you're not going to enjoy your ribs. It's a weird meal to eat in the mosh pit. And then all I was thinking, because you know what's left over, the bloody bone? What are you doing with that? What do you do with that? That's going to the ground 100%.

Exactly. You're stomping on that. Someone's probably going to slip on your bloody rib bone. So firstly, that sort of food in the mosh, I don't know about it. My second incident. So we were early enough. there was no support act for Garga, so we're all just milling about, right? And it's still bright at this stage.

She was coming on at about 8.15, so it's still bright by the time we're all filing in. Yeah. And everyone's sort of getting into position, but we're not packed in like sardines. But as the time's ticking away, we're sort of going, all right, it could be any minute now. Let's get a little bit closer. We take two steps forward. I'm not exaggerating two steps. That's all the room we had.

Yeah. A woman to our right, she was with maybe her first. family, two kids, adult kids and husband, taps my friend Ash on the shoulder and goes, ladies, no, no, no, can you step back, thank you? Oh. We did not step in front of them. Just next to them. Next to them on the side, but they clearly liked maybe a little bit more of a girth.

If you're, well, you are in the mosh pit, sweetheart. Yeah, if you're in the mosh pit, you cannot be telling people to move around. That's just what you get. Because me and my friend are gutless. We both went, okay. Oh, so you did. We did because that sort of energy, I'm not going up against that. But the minute she starts, everyone will compress.

That's what happens. And you know what happened? Exactly that. But other people came from different directions. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't say anything to them. But under her breath, I'm hearing a go, if one more person pushes me, I'm fighting. Girl, you're in the mosh pit.

Why wouldn't you afford a seat? That energy. Bit older. Bit older. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't want to use the K word because we got told off from that woman who did call. Be Karen energy. Yeah, yeah, it sounds so.

You can't be telling people. No. And my third thing, I want a flat. Here we go. I'm trying to film Abraqadabra. It's my favourite bloody song. Obviously. Two people next to me.

I couldn't use that footage, Ducko, because the voices of the two people on the other side. Oh, bro, no, no. Not singing along. I could have abided by that. Talking about how sick the Airbnb they booked is and how wonderful the options were. What a great price they got on it.

They're looking forward to the next couple of nights in Sydney. They must have been from out of town. Right. Shut up. During the song. So you can hear it in your video. You can have been, oh, the Airbnb is great. And I literally put my phone away. And it has a bathtub.

And the towels was soft. I had like maybe British accents. It was really cutting through. Shut up. You do have to wonder with big artists like your gar-gars and stuff like that who come. Because they attract so many people, you're not going to get just, just core fans. You're not getting purists. But I would have thought, front GA, they're not the most extensive tickets in the stadium.

if I'm honest, but they are... Oh, were you with the commoners? Well, clearly, people talking about Airbnb's, someone eating ribs, and someone fighting because we're trying to get closer to Gaga. And you're they trying to respect your Lord and save you, the gags. I'm trying to rock out to a bit of dead dance. Pardon me.

Wearing your shirt that hasn't been washed in a month. I kept getting a waft, and I'm like, the mosh stings. I went, I think it's me. That's why that person you want you next to him. Jess and Ducko. Discover Tifal's new Dolchy ice cream maker. Available now at Tfell.com.com.com. T-Dat-U-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Y.

Shy guy, licks. Yes, he's got a many of things. Describing and licking seemingly not them, though. No. But for Ducko's last Wednesday. Yep. In the run to the series finale of the Jess and Ducko program, as you know it, it only stands to reason.

We lick one more time. We lick together as a team. Oh, should we really? all have a lick. Oh, that'd be nice. Of the same one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll just go around. Because he bought the bulk box again. Yeah, he does that. But it might be nice a bonding. Yes, a little bond lick. That's nice, a bond lick. Yeah, that's good. He's going to lick and then try to describe the ice cream in his hand. Yep. If you identify it. If you get it. You get a Dolchy ice cream maker.

Yeah, Discover Tfail's new dolchy ice cream maker. It's available now at Tfowl.com.com. We've tried it. It's fantastic. Perfect for summer. Can do more than just ice cream. Oh, yeah. Margarita, anyone? Shy guy has pulled one of the ice creams out. Yep. He's going to give us the first lick. I'm patting as much as I can.

I'm opening it. Here we go. You can hit the... This is the clue in itself, really. Yeah, really is. In fact, I think that's almost giving it away. Yeah, you didn't think about that, did he? Okay, here we go.

All right, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Get nice and close. Oh, that was a great leg. Did you hear that? Yeah, I did hear that. I think I wanted a bit more.

Could we go a second? Yeah. Longer. Slower. Okay. Oh, good. I remember why I make eye contact with him. I know, sorry.

No, you're right. Kept for what you wish for. 131060. There's your first clue. You will get another clue. So give us a call for the last ever time for shy guy lift. Jess and Ducko. Discover Tifel's new dolchy ice cream maker.

Available now at Tifel.com.com. Shai Guy Licks The final lick We've heard it Hopefully we'll get a couple more In amongst this Depending how long it goes for I've also just had something come through

Oh What's it in? Links Oh he's actually done it Okay Hold on stop everything If you can identify the ice cream Shy Guy has today

You're in a T-Fel-Dolci ice cream maker Now I haven't heard this Okay We're all hearing at the same time together It's the final lick Well done all Thank you, dude We are a fast medium

And that's the calibre we need That's what we want it With three shows to go, Ducko How's that turn around for you? Oh, we're not taking our foot off the gas Are we? How good was that? We're fueled by ice cream

Yes, we are Jason, good morning Good morning, how are you? Babe, we're fantastic It's the final. lick, you get a supplementary clue, go. A bit of chocolate on this one. Bit of chocolate.

He just, he still baffles me how he just goes, oh, jeez, I'm going to come up with a clue. Oh my God, she's asked me for a clue. What? What? What? The audacity. Jason, where are you thinking with this?

A bit of chocolate. Wouldn't be a magnum ice cream, would it? That's a great gase. That is a good good. guess. That is a very good guess. No, our insight. Oh, is that true?

You go like a... Ellie, we've knocked out magnums for the final lick, but you get another clue. Shy guy. Four in the pack and the box is blue. Four in the pack and the box is blue. Ellie, it's over there you.

Oh, my God. Talk about not taking the put off of cats. This is elevation. Ellie, what do you reckon? Oh, I've got two, but I'm I'm going to go, oh, dairy milk. Ooh, it's a good get. It's not a dairy milk one, unfortunately.

I don't even know what that is. It's a beautiful ice cream of dairy milk. Oh, yeah, it's just like chocolate and ice cream. I love that combo. We go to Emily on 131060. Good morning, Emily. Hello. Emily, we heard the lick.

We heard there's chocolate on it. We heard there's four in the box, and the box is blue, but we've got another clue for you. There's a swell on the top. top. There's a... Sorry, what was that? A drumstick?

Did you say drumstick? Now, this is... What do you reckon? Don't make it go for longer. Well, this is where we need the specific. It's Shy Guy's game. Yeah, shy guy. Would you like...

I think we need the specific. Emily, we want more information. Drumstick. Hmm? An original drumstick? Could you change the word original to a different... You are right there. It's a synonym for the original, Emily.

You are right there. Vanilla? Yay! What I mean is classic. It's classic. Yes, Emily. Emily, you're the last ever winner of Shy Guy Licks. Woo-hoo.

So you don't get a box of drumsticks, babe, because they would not last the postage. But what you do get is a T-Feltzsche ice cream maker so you can make your own ice cream for summer. Oh, that's amazing. Thank you. It sounds like she didn't know that and she just wanted to play the game. You do need one final thing from you, Emily. This is you hold the fate of all of us. For the final time.

Hi. Hi. What do you think of this pivot, do you know? Hi, my name's Emily, and I won Shy Guy's last lick. Wow. Or do you want to stick to the original? Can we just for the sake of good times, go I won Shy Guy's last box? That makes a lot more sense.

Hi, my name's Emily, and I just won Shy Guys last. box. All right. Rolling audio, rolling camera, shy guy, and action. Hi, my name's Emily and I just won shy guy's last one. Cut, cut, cut, we're close, Emily. Need you to be so excited, babe. Hi, my name's Emily and I'm so excited. I just won shy guy's last box. Last box. All right, take two places and action. Hi, my name's Emily and I'm so excited because I've just won shy guy's last box. Yes.

Jess and Ducco. Call a fan. Corner of fake. Go to fame. Win the press. One of the things we've been enjoying doing this week. Having a look back at the year as a whole. Oh, yeah.

Particularly, obviously, as we work towards Friday being the end. The season finale. The season. Series finale. Oh, God. Of Jess and Ducker. and one of the greatest contributors to this program,

beyond Jess, beyond Ducco, is you, darling rice calls. Oh, yeah, it's the Cookers. It's the Cookers and your contributions get on it every week in the Call of Fame. It's what only stands for reason this week. Yep. We look at the Crem de la Crem.

The top, the top five callers of the year in the lead-up, the winner gets $1,000 cash. That's right. With the bronze medal today. Who we got? Back in September, not too long ago, we asked again. It's giving us a lot of kudos here.

One of the great questions. Yeah. What went in your mouth? Oh, that was September 23. I remember that. I remember that day like it was yesterday. That was a pivotal show for us. It was a great show.

We got excellent contributions that day. A defining show, if you will. Someone we've thought about a lot. Someone we felt sorry for in the moment. Yep. And who I constantly think about. All the time. Sweet Ash.

Oh, Ash. Who answered the question, What went in your mouth with this? Unfortunately, one of our beautiful residents passed away and we had the family outside the room. So once someone passes away, you've got a really short time of frame before Rigamortus

sets in. So sometimes the family, we like to address and present them really nice and well and everything. Clean them up, clean their face because I don't know if you know, but when someone's passing away all the muscles relax and mouths open, the fluids and everything comes out. Yeah, so we cleaned

him up nice and as I've grabbed, I've leaned over to grab and my partner gives a little bit of a push just so we could get the other arm in. Instead of it coming down where it normally exits at the bowels, I was the lucky one to cop it where it came up and out of his mouth, and it all came into my mouth. All the purge fluids.

Not a phrase we'd ever heard, and not one. Thankfully, we've heard since. Oh, purge fluids in my mouth. Yuck, Sarah, you got the bronze. Ash, sorry, you got the bronze medal. Oh, Ducker, we say it, but we can't say it. Mad respect to our health care professionals, our age care workers, our nurses, because they deal with some stuff. Oh, my God.

I just couldn't. And she went back to work the next day, you know? Put a smile at a dollar and just kept going. She got the bronze. Yeah. So who's going to take home the silver? It's eaten up. And then that $1,000 cash and metaphoric goldmail.

It's exciting. It is exciting. Stick with us tomorrow and Friday for the show series finale to find that out as well. Oh, God. Right now, how many to play Alphabox, so 13, 10, 60, give us a call. If you want 10K, we'll play with you next. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K alpha bucks on hit.

Alphabugs. 30 seconds to answer, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we are playing for 10K. Our player today is Beck.

Good morning, Beck. Good morning. How are you? Beck, we are fans. Fantastic for a Wednesday, but you could make it even better by winning $10,000 in about 30 seconds time. What do you want to spend the money on? I want to hire a house cleaner. I love that.

It's an expensive house cleaner. Just chuck it all on that. I mean, get them on retainer for a year or two. I'm not sure what the hourly rate is. But, Beck, I'm sure you'll do your due diligence. Get a good one. I love that. Take the load off Beck.

That'd be nice. Yes. The little things, you know, Beck. Who wants to mop? What's your most hated chore, Beck? It is literally mopping. Mopping. Mopping sucks.

I can't say I do mopping enough as in like we just don't ever do it. That's fair. That's fair. How much is, oh, you've got the floorboards. Yeah, floorboards. But like a good vacuum. That's fine. I think mine's cleaning the shower.

Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, that is the worst. And because it's like soapy in there. Yeah, I'm like, it's getting cleaned. Yeah, I know. Then you look around, you think. A bit of mold there. Probably need to scrub this.

But dirty there. What's that spot? Yeah. Beck, I love this omen for you today. Your letter is B. Oh, perfect. B for Beck. Come on.

You're ready to rock? I am. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter B, we need you to name. A school subject. Biology. A female actress. A bit midluck.

A fashion brand. Pass. A periodic element. A ball sport. Basketball. A piece of jewelry. Bracelet. Something square.

A ball game. A phone app. Bimble. A sitcom. Becker. A verb. Oh, God. Becca, one of the great.

What's Becca? I remember with Ted Danson? He's the grumpy doctor in New York. I'll take your word. It's a hell of the show. It's a hell of the show. It's very, everybody who. Love Raymond.

Yeah, okay. All right. Well, if that is correct, you got yourself six, Beck, and you got through all ten. A fashion brand could have been Valencia. It comes up a little bit. It does. Yep. A periodic element?

Boutanian. Yep. Boutanium. Oh, bore on, one of the real ones. A phone up. You said Bimble. I think you meant Bumble. Yeah.

Bumble, yeah. Bumble, yeah, or BuzzFeed. A sitcom you got, Navrb could have been bake or build or Bobby sort of ran out of time. A valiant effort from Beck. Great effort. Thank you. You're a good player. You don't get the cleaner,

but you do get a limited edition Jess and Ducko merch pack with a rice cooker print all from Vera Fleur. Perfect. Thank you so much. You enjoy that, Beck, and Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Ho, ho. Ho, ho. Yeah! We're back, baby. Mate, it's only taking a week, but they've caught fire. What did you say yesterday, Sean?

It takes two weeks to bed in something. Yeah. A week and a half, we're on fire. We've built loyalty over six years, Duck, we've done it. We've done it. We've done it.

We've done it. Up next. Something when I go, two weeks later, I'm like, who was Duck? No, okay. She's leaving. No, people will start as soon as someone ho-hoes the new bloke, I'll text you. Don't you worry. Don't you dare ho-ho another man.

Oh, you don't want. Oh, okay. But up next, Ducko, I had an absolute doozy yesterday in the office. And one of our sweet team members witnessed it all. Yeah. And I just want to ask the question. Maybe get a few more people in for that $1,000 call of fame prize we've got for Friday. Yep.

What happened when you were distracted? Did something cute? Maybe draw your eye and you stuffed up. Okay, well, I'm back at... Jess and Duckow. What's going on? Yesterday, Duckone. You'd left.

I was just pottering around. Finishing up some emails, my life admin here. Yeah, nice. When I got a call over to one of the girls who works down the hall. Jess, Jess, quick, quick, quick, come over here. I thought, oh my God, she's having a tech issue and she needs Jess's help. I went, why else? And I literally kind of slowly ambled over going, Nix, I'm not the person you should be talking to.

She's like, look, look, look. She brought in her nine-week-old golden retriever ducco. Puppie in the office. Puppy in the office. This happens a few times a year. It does, but I'll be honest with you, a couple of people who bring in their dogs, don't really care for them. Got a lot of sausage dogs who roll around this office, and I don't really care. Yeah.

Nine-week-old Golden Retriever, though. Golden Retriever puppies are always cute. I reckon they're cuter puppies and they are dogs. I couldn't agree more. I actually, they might be the cutest of the puppies. They are a cute puppy. Between them and Labs, they've got it head and shoulders, I think, in the puppy world. Yeah.

So she introduces me to Lulu and we have a great little cuddle. I was just, obviously, in heaven. Babs was there. One of our shorts was there. We're all fawning over little Lulu. Everyone comes over and loves it. Everyone comes on. or poos in the office.

Absolutely, Pete. Nick's was cleaning up the wee-wee. She was being very conscientious dog mommy. But I said to Babs, do you want to have a little cuddle? She's like, I would love a cuddle. So we do the awkward handover. I feel like it's easier handing over a baby. You know to hold the neck.

But if a puppy, you're like, take it out of my hands. And I wanted to thank Nick's for calling me over, making a big deal of it. Because I was so flustered with the puppy looking at Babs holding the puppy, I've gone to open the big studio door, exactly identical to our ones. They're pretty heavy. They have to be soundproof, right? In my haste, I have yanked the door open directly into my face, clocked myself in the eye socket.

I don't know if you can see, but there is a bump. I thought I'd split my eyeball on the end. The sunscrew in your eye last week. Now this. What is wrong with me? I actually was having, I nearly started crying. This is crying rethinking. It was so bad.

I've doubled over in pain. Obviously, dropped the door, doubled over. I nearly started crying. Babs handed the puppy over to shorts to come to my aid. The talent is down. The talent is down. Do you know what I did? I was like, I don't know what to do.

So I just kind of grip Jess's head and put pressure on it. Like when a person waxes your eyebrows, this is niche. Once they wax it, they like touch it to help the pain. And that's where my brain went. I was like, I was just touching like her head. And I was like, oh. You know how they say, you know, put pressure on or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

She was doing that. And I'm like, get off. It hurts so bad. I don't know what to do. You're squeezing. And I was obviously laughing, but then I felt really good. As she is right now, she was a great support in a crisis. Were you on the brink of tears?

Truly, truly. But, you know, in front of the puppy, I didn't want to cause distress. In front of shorts, the guy from the newsroom was there. Obviously, in front of Babs, I went. You were trying to play a cool. I was in that much pain. We all know the ice socket is a sensitive area. Ask an NRL player, they'll attest.

It was so bad. And I just went all because of the little doggy. I was going to say stupid dog. It's not the dog's fault. It's my own fault. But my destruction of the dog opening a door into my own face. You can tell it's the end of the year.

You're absolutely on one. We've had a bit of a day yesterday. We've had a day. I'm here beyond 10. Are you joking? Disgusting. That's what's happened. What are you shy guy now?

I'm doing a 30-hour week. Just really. That's not a dish. Just making up for the whole year of not really doing a 30-hour week. So you've hit the door into your face. Just smashed the door into my face because I was distracted. So I wanted to do on 13, 1060, we're all human.

What happened because you were distracted? Maybe you came into some injury like I did. Maybe one of the children. You weren't paying attention and something happened to them. Maybe you were looking at someone while you were driving. Oh, absolutely. At a roundabout, you know, things can be distracted and not paying attention. Yes.

Whatever it might be. Or did you hit yourself with a door? What'd you do? Have you opened a door into your own face? Did the door hit you? I mean... Did the door get in the way? Did your head get in the way of a door?

Jess and ducco. Right now we are asking, what happened when you were distracted? Yep. Or, if you'd contribute for this particular question, have you opened a door into your face? Door in the face? I would love to feel a little bit of support. I'm not the only...

What the door do? Moron amongst us. distracted by a nine-week-old golden retriever puppy named Lulu. I mean, I'm only human, do you know? Puppies do think to people. They really do. I wanted to profusely thank Nix down the hall, our colleague, for bringing her in. And in my excitement, opened these very heavy studio soundproof, airtight doors.

Hit yourself in the face. Into my face. This is a door that I've opened. I've been here eight years. Well, people are watching you leave. You're like, okay, I'm out of here now. D-Dunk. Well, Babs witnessed it and came to my aid in the,

form of just squeezing my head. Yeah, which is just so nice of bad. Very nice of her as I was doubled over at the point of tears. Yeah. But I didn't want to scare the puppy. You know, traumatizing. Jess is called up. Another Jess on 131060.

Jess, what are you calling it about? Which one? The door. Or the distraction. So I get distracted. I might be talking to the kids and I will sort of misjudge where I'm going and just walk into the wall. Like me. So you're in motion, but you're making eye contact, and then, boom.

But then I cover it, and I'll be like, did you guys see that wall just jumped out at me? Hey, she's got a bit around it. Smooth. Okay. There you go. Obviously hasn't concussed herself enough. She can still come up with the good gear. I find that my wife gets spatially unaware as well, like walking and shopping centres and stuff, and just veers us off into a pole.

It's like, did you want to go into Cook High? Okay, I guess we're going. What are we doing? Tash, your husband got distracted. He certainly did. You's probably knowing Mick from Stroud. Oh, Mike. The butcher.

How is Mick? He is great. They're super busy this time of the year. I bet he is. Of course. I'm waiting for me here, Mick. Absolutely, Tash. Don't tell me he's got distracted at the butcher

because there's a lot of meat cleavers in the shop. Yeah, you did. So we'll cut it and quiet backing the hams and getting excited to finish late on a Sunday afternoon. And we have a boiler that you shrink wrap the hams after the whole process. and he stepped back and the boiling hot water filled his boot. So he ends up in the emergency room.

Oh, my God. Sorry, so he got distracted and what tipped the thing? No, so at the end of the day, so it's been on since 1230. We finished at 7.30. And we emptied it out to sort of clean the fat off the floor to help remove it. And he stepped back and it feels like. Oh. Mick, no.

If there's somewhere you don't want to be distracted, it's out of butch. Oh, yeah. For it danger. Thank you, Tash. When you are the butcher. Thank you, Tash. Megan, you got distracted.

Hello. Yes, I got distracted. I was just looking at my child in the back seat for like two seconds. Next minute this lady does, like, are you turn in front of me? So she's pulled out in front of me and I've slammed into her car. Oh, Megan. And because you've hit her, are you technically at fault? No.

I was going along straight road, so technically she's at false. Okay, I'm glad everyone was okay, of course. Distracted on the road, though. Oh, it's bad. Kirsty, you got distracted? Yes, I did. What happened, Kirst? So I was going into our bathroom because we were renovating our bathroom.

I stupidly didn't put shoes on. I went to put the exhaust fan on and got a lift to get it. Jesus crying. Kirstie, I appreciate you've tried to answer the question. When were you distracted? But it just sounds like you made a boo-boo. I see. I was distracted because I didn't put shoes on.

Yeah, you see. I see where the distraction came in. And what happened with the electrocution? Like, did you get seriously hurt? No, I just, luckily my fiancé was home and he heard me scream and dropped to the floor. And I was okay. Oh, my God. Kirstie.

That's, yeah. That is when you get zapped. That's when you get zapped. When do you need to pull shoes on? Oh, geez, the rubber soles. Oh, not at risk of playing the thing. Here we go. Here we go.

What are you got for us? Oh, you know, in Home Alone, where Merv's shoe comes off because he gets tired and then he steps on the nail bare foot. Need a time of shoes on. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. Gersky would have related, though. That's where your mind goes.

That's where your mind goes. That's the most Hollywood example of not having shoes on. Brooke. You got distracted, Brooke. What happened? I did get distracted. I got hit by a door as well, Jess. What distracted you?

Was it a nine-week-old golden retriever? I wish it was. It was the rain. I was distracted by the rain. I was trying to get in my car to go to work, and it was raining, and I was trying to not get my hair wet. And I opened the car door, and the corner of it, I slammed it into my eye. eye. Oh, no.

I split my eye open. I had a black eye for about two weeks. Oh my God. And I bet you, from that chaos, you ended up getting rained on and your hair was ruined. I was more than rained on. I was drenched. And then you got people, you had people for weeks saying, what happened to your eye? Yeah.

What'd you do to your eye? What'd you do to do your eye? How do you explain that? I opened a car door into my face. But I can attest these things happen. Do you imagine if you did a car door? Was you or the car door? You wouldn't be coming away for a month.

I know. With the split in the... I wouldn't leave the house. Pardon me. Ducco, I'll see you in the new year. Jess and Ducco. This is a game we have not played in over a year. In over a year.

And Ducco, it being your final week with us. We're working towards the series finale on Friday. Yep. Goodness gracious, we're revisiting some of our favorites. We're looking back at Call of Fame. We're going to places maybe you would like to visit. We did Bangladesh. We've done Spain, India, China.

Of course. So one of the games we loved. Quiz with a twist. This had a good one-year run. It did. The highlight, obviously, being it was the vehicle, which we learnt you and Morgan were expecting Florence. So we're bringing it back one more time.

Bring it back, my move. And we never quite nailed how to explain the game. I think you're just going to explain it by playing it. Yeah. Yeah, you'll get it. You'll get it. Oh, okay. This is the, basically the genesis and premise of the game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. A family guy character that wears red. Stewie? No. Stewie does. I don't actually. Does he? I can't picture him.

Oh, the overall. Clagmire also has a Hawaiian shirt that's red with us. You could only picture Lois. Oh, yeah. That was for no point. She has orange hair. I could picture that. And a green shirt.

That's right. The tan pants. All right. For points this time. Here we go. Here we go. A lady Gaga. song that contains a name.

Abacadabra. Oh, no, Alejandra. I said Habricadabra. You meant like a human name. Yeah, like somebody's name. Great song. Yeah, yeah, great song. Next question.

Okay, okay. A Harry Potter spell, that's one word. Crucio. Chio. I can only think of, from history, Jess was very good at this. Oh, yeah, I can only think of two, like, Septim Sepra or Avagadacadabar. Regardi Leviosa. Jeez, we did.

I was going to say, we did. did all the mean ones, but Wingardium, that's nice. Lumos are expelling. Oh, Loumo. Ah, damn it. Come on, all right. Don't use Crucio, it's not nice. Come on.

Next one. A TV show set in Seattle. Frazier! How? Was this just tailored to her? No, I admit the first two were... What other shows are set in Seattle? Not deliberately.

Not deliberately. Harry brought her not in Seattle. No, no, okay. What other TV shows are sent to Seattle? I Carley. Oh. My favorite. You would have got my.

And Grey's Anatomy. Oh, I don't. Oh, sure. Anyway, all great big shows. All right. Next one. Okay. An Australian brand with a red and yellow logo.

Avegerite? Yes. For X. Four X. Isn't that red? Isn't the X in red? Yeah, yeah. I was thinking of the yellow.

Yeah, yeah. So that was tailored to me. Is that tailored to you? Yeah, yeah. Now, see what he does? Maybe this is why the game disappeared. Harry Potter. Yeah, yeah.

It's both. We both love that. A bore sport on the original Wii sports. Oh, tennis. Ducker was in first. Both are. Ducker was in first.

Yes, here we go. Now we've got a game. Yeah, we've got a game. Okay. An animated movie, sorry, an animated movie title that contains a food. Ratatoui! Yes. That's your favorite movie!

Or sausage party. Also, one of the favorite movies. That is, that's, yeah. I only not because of you. I am in. Have you actually watched it? Yeah, because of you. Yeah.

Well, well done to you, but good job educating. We're at a tie. Oh, you couldn't write it. So the next point wins. Wait, is this it? This is it. Hold on. Let me get a drone.

Here we go. I've got two more questions. Oh, which are we going to ask? Let's do this one. I can't believe I've got to get rid of it. An Australian Prime Minister whose name contains a double letter. Bhop. In consecutive.

What do you mean? Like, just the next. somewhere in there. Tony Abbott! Yeah. She's done it. A double B, O double. That's two doubles.

Oh, is that two points? Well, you won. I like to think it was Bob Hawke. John Howard. That's where I went Bob Hawke as well. Why did we think of Bob? Oh, you know, we could have said Scotty M. Yeah.

Question, what was your other question that you chose? The other question was a fictional green character whose name contains the letter K. Correct. Both right now. Geez. Yeah. Or the Hulk was the other one. A Hulk.

Well, hey. There you go. Well, that's quiz with a twist. Tris are a twist, everyone. If you want, put that in your back pocket. Yeah, I'll take it up north. We might need to bring it back. Yeah, you can bring it back.

You can bring it back. I have to call another name, though. You know what I mean? Remember, originally. Twissy quizzy. Twissy quizzed. Originally, that quiz was called can't be. Yeah, that's right.

But then, you know, the origins of it can't be. Can't be. Can't be. Yeah, that's right. So there's an option for you. Yeah. Let's bring back another fallon game tomorrow. What else do we have?

What else haven't we played for a while? Go back to the archive, shy guy. There's wordiokey. There's the year of the song. One second song game. We didn't play booktop. What's the one that we had to sync up? Wave land.

I liked Wavelin. You know what I liked? Password, because the rice cookers could play. Yeah. Anyway, we'll take this off here. We'll bring back a full of a game tomorrow. Jess and Ducko. Hit breakfast.

Jess and Ducko with you. 850. Wednesday morning. Missing the show, as always, grab it on this and I wherever get your podcast, because we are pretty much done. And we insist you catch up today if you missed the final. Yes. Shy guy licks.

It was a bit of a hollow lick today, wasn't it? I thought your licking was good, but like the actual game itself just didn't kick. I know. I like when it goes forever. Yeah. And I like when he has to bite into it. Yeah. And he gets frustrated.

Oh, yeah. And we start getting left of center clues. Hop was very soft. Did you, what did you do with the ice cream? I took a couple of weeks and threw it out. Because you really devoured the gay time last week. Oh, you are gay old time with that thing. And this week is one of my favourites, the drumstick.

I can't believe you didn't bite into the drumstick. Yeah, it's too early. Oh, with the chocolate. We didn't even get to the chocolate tip of the cone. I told him to throw over and off to bite the cone first, to bite the bottom first. Controversial that. I think you want to, you go either way with the drumstick. I'm the top first, but I just thought, you know, throw it away.

Throw it on. Have they always put chocolate at the very bottom. Always. I think so. Do you, have you ever done the bite the tip off first? I was going to say is the idea then you do eat from the bottom and then, yeah, suck it out from the tip? Huh? Or do you still?

What? Sorry? You lost me. We're talking about ice cream. Yeah, we're talking about drumsticks. Yeah, drumsticks. Not cornettoes, drumsticks. I guess you eat from the bottom, but then you get to the top, you're going to have all that ice cream at the top.

I know, because if you've got a ferocious lick, you're in essence pushing that ice cream down slowly, slowly, slug. slowly, there's, it's going to fall out the bottom. Yeah. It's a real technique to that. That is interesting. It is. I've never tried it, to be honest. No, neither, because I actually like to end on the best bit of it, and in my opinion,

the best bit is that tip. Yeah. So why would I about that first? No, you wouldn't. You just couldn't. I'm not a sniker part. No, I could see Shagai doing that. You know, I could see him eating it with a spoon.

Yeah. Just like a real weirdo. Or a fork. Something really rare. I can see that too. He puts it on a plate. He actually had it laying on the desk at one point over this side. What do I do with him on the side?

son's playing. Hold it. Oh, they're so heavy. It's not going to melt. No, I just... They don't melt. They don't really melt those things. No.

No. Anyway, that was the last edition. Yep. Will Shy Guy dips, licks, sips be back next year? And in what capacity? Or shy guy touch the tips. Just for you.

Just the tip. Yeah. God. The possibilities are endless. I Brenda the bun. Sorry. Sorry. We're having fun.

You know, though. We were quoting it, having a good time. Like, you know it. I know. So it's not that niche. I don't know. I don't know. No, you don't have your button.

He's got the button. I've lost me buttons. Oh, that's because it's not niche. Hold on, hold on. Here you go. I didn't say he was Frank a hot dog.

Don't do it again. You'll wear out the button. I've got to get me buttons back. They've had a bloody stroke over here. There is. Oh, there it is. A double whammy. I don't know if I've got no double in one.

Oh, you've had a, I think you've had a triple before. Ooh, okay, challenge for tomorrow. Can I get a quadruple? There's so many quotes you can get into one show tomorrow. All right. No, let's not. Not challenge except it. I want you to remember me fondly.

And this is the way you have. Don't quote. Two to go tomorrow, team. Two to go. I will ask how you're feeling, so just be prepared. And my wife flies up north today with our child flow. Dump and her in Brisbane with the grandparent so you can actually get some logistical stuff done. And I'll be busy all.

day doing stuff, but, you know. I'd offer you a hand, but I've got my kid who will only just create more of a drama. I get Shy Guy and Babs, I guess. That's good. What else they're doing? They've got no dependents. No.

Haven't you guys offered to help yet? We're busy. Oh, shy guy, I guess, helped yesterday. Yeah. Babs, are you going to pull your way? Can I have any help, Babs? I actually have a lot on today, but... What do you got on today?

I've got some appointments, need to do some running around, you know? Oh, some errands, yeah. That's one of my favourite. I've got some running around. Yeah, I've got errands to do. Are you going to the post office? What are you up to? Yeah, like, not the post office.

Just like the shops. Got to buy some Christmas presents. Okay, yeah, okay. The shops. I thought we could bond one last time, guys. I know. Individually. Come pack a box with me.

Nothing bonds you better than helping someone move, pack up house. After the show Friday, I'd imagine you're all coming to mine and we're going to help them remove us. Absolutely. We'll load the truck for you. Yeah, we'll load that thing out. I don't know if Shiger can be trusted with your TV though. Slippity doda are over here.

Yeah, yeah. Probably drop it. Water slip. Yeah. Your butterfingers. Okay. Okay. I won't come and help that.

Are you getting a haircut? I was going to today. That's on my job's list. Oh, that's he's running around. Yeah. That's my errand. No, no, you're all very busy. Fair enough.

Hey, we're out of here, but we will see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. Have you tried to... Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. The new macho range is here at McCaffee. I don't know.