Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I've never seen someone juggle balls like you bro

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

Does the size of your peen matter? Jess defends her position as the 'table captain' and we ask what do you pretend to like that you actually hate?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new Macrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today. Jess and Douggo. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Hey, welcome to the podcast, everybody. Play the thing. Oh, geez. Oh, even I forgot the thing.

Well, at the end of the show I said, go listen to it. I know. How did I forget my own thing? Because it's still new. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Recall the power.

We live in the day yet. Podcast. Fuck yeah. Recall the power Re-living the day, yeah Re-living the day, yeah Fuck yeah! So we're going to eliminate you and Babs on the echo

Go straight to the fuck yeah. So we want another revision. Another revision. The revision notes yesterday weren't quite understood. You're dropping that because the echo... I'll write this out while we... Yeah, yeah. So we don't need that second reliving the day, yeah?

Correct. We just need the straight to... Fuck yeah. Exactly. But either way, it's a bit of fun. It's fantastic. I love it. I love it.

We are a whisker away from perfection. Yeah. God, it just gets me going. Put some lead into pencil. It does. It makes me want to be... Do you know... What was I stuck in traffic?

I don't even think I was stuck in traffic, Ducko. I just had this thought. Is it a motorbike in my future? Definitely not. Not a chance. You will wrap yourself around a tree. What? Do you know what it was?

Yeah. Okay, I know exactly where it was. So you remember on the weekend, I was doing the video guest book, out in Wollambi. So out past the Hunter Valley, you know. It's obviously a decent drive out there. And as you get into sort of past the valley, you're entering Wollombai territory. All the properties are very spread out.

It's very green. It's a winding road. Yep. I just saw around a bend, a motorbike on the side of the road, not tipped, just standing there. And then I realized the rider, was on the other side of the road. She'd positioned her bike in front of a beautiful outlook, you know, this rolling hill, paddock.

She was taking photos of her motorbike. Just her? Yeah. But she's on the other side of the road to get a nice wide shot. Just taking the shot of the bike in front of the sunset. Exactly, exactly. And there was just a part of me that went, oh my God, this woman living her best. She's like, I can see she would have been maybe, maybe mid-40s from the very quick glance I got at her.

I was like, she's going to put that on her face. book. She's going to write something like... 100%. That's on her probably Tinder profile. Maybe. Maybe it's on... She'd be on plenty of fish. Or like RSVP or one of the older bracket one. Yeah. But I don't know what I...

I had this... Last gasp, love. Not shriveled up yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just had this moment. She just looked so blissful. Like, it was just her, not even a gang. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't think that's you, man. There's just something about it. I went, oh, I did... It did something to me. I can't imagine you're going to a... 200 K is on a bike wearing leather. I just, I don't see it.

I don't see it. I'd be very nervous every time you go on the bike, considering you struggle to drive a car. That's fair. But that's maybe my calling. The car isn't for me. Declosters do bikes? I've never seen to do motorbikes. No, I might have to go schmooze to Yamaha, Kawasaki.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know nothing about motorbikes and I don't have great balance. Protein shakes, gym and motorbikes for Jess is 2025. And I think that's what got me. Do you remember me coming to you and saying, Oh, I drove past a gym that opens at four. Could I be a before work person? And the next week, I became a before work gym person.

So you're going to get a motorbike? Bro, I feel like I just put shit out there this year and it sort of has manifested. Midlife crisis, this is. I think that's what it is. Oh, God, that means I'm only living a 60-something. That's terrifying. Oh, you're just getting metapause early. Oh, I do run very hot.

I've often thought it's perimenopause sleeping in. This room is freezing. It always is because I run so hot and it's hormone. So anyway, I'm putting it out there. I don't know, man. I don't think Angus would be very happy to you riding a motorbike. Because this is my vision. I don't tell you and I just go get my licence.

And I get off my owls. And then you're stopped at the lights and we just magically, I zoom up. And I'm like, flick up the visor of my helmet. And it's me. And you wink at me. Want to ride hat stuff? And I go, what the fuck? And you zoom off.

Problem with your visions, right? You had a vision for when we played golf and you were going to magically smack a drive 200 metres. But I only gave myself, was it like five weeks to learn that allegedly my lack of understanding of the sport? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, no, is your visions don't ever seem to fully come into fruition? No, no. I did, and staying in the gym world, about 15 years ago, I did start with a bodybuilding gym because I was like, I'm going to be a bodybuilder.

I remember that. Also did not come to fruition. It is what it is, you know. So some things do and some things don't. Where will motorbike riding full? I'd love to see you get, I'd love to see you cruise around. bike with your L's and do that

and drive around the car parks? Where will your husband feel if you get a motorbike? That's a good question because he thinks and he's got,

you know, cred to it, he's the cooler one of us. Yeah, right. But if I get a bike, he's fucking eclipsed. You're instantly cool. I'm instantly cool.

Would you give Lou Chira ride on the back? Now, now you're getting into it. So my father-in-law, apparently they used to have the bike with the little carriage. Really?

Like the Batmobile with the Robin's little seat. Yeah, yeah. So that's where my mother-in-law would sit. That could be me Jeez, that's hot. And Angus is sitting in the side carriage.

There's nothing more manly than sitting there. Yeah, yeah. Angus is in your side carriage. He's 25 shy guy. He can sit the side carriage. Yeah, yeah. I think he's going to love it. In his welders goggles.

Yeah, yeah. And he's like, Jess, please slow down. And you forgot to hitch the carriage to the bike. He just flies off around a corner. Lean, Angus, lean. We're moving. You hit a tree. Do the side carriage people need to lean?

I don't think so. Geez, that side carriage is risky. You're putting all your faith in that motorbike driver. I am putting in that. Not in that, all in the right wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The weight distribution. Anyway.

I can see it's happening. Do it. Putting it out there. This woman really got me. She just was so blissful. Have you ever been into motorbikes before? Like, have you ever looked at one? I've been on the back of one in my life.

Ex-boyfriend? No, creepy older colleague. Oh. Yeah, there's... You fucking... You did, didn't you? No, but it was at that same workplace. Yeah, it wasn't good, guys.

This is my issue. He was like, let's go for. This is his name Trent? No, what was his name? Yeah, yeah. Let's go for lunch. I'll pick up my Yamaha. I say like Roy?

Like maybe Reno. Yeah, that was... Almost fit. Chase? Yeah, yeah. It was an arm. I'm feeling art. Yeah, okay.

Not Reno. Reno was a dweeb. I think it was Roy. Right. And my issue is he was like, let's go for lunch. He uses the phrase, I'll drive. Do you say drive when you're on a motorbike? No, you say, I'll ride, I guess.

Yeah, thank you. Because I actually. don't know because I'm gutless. I don't think I would have said yes, it was motorbike. No. Were you nervous getting in the back? He didn't give me a helmet. Oh, geez. It was actually now illegal. But also did you get a little bit of flutters when you were wholly on to and driving? No, genuinely, I

was like, no, because you got to get so close. I was like, this is feeling very uncomfortable. He's like, you drive, I'll straddle you. Yeah. I'll give you a lesson. Yeah, interesting. So my only experience with a motorbike was actually quite a negative one. I've been on plenty of motorbikes and like on farm property, like, whether it's quad bikes or motorbikes, dirt bikes.

I've not even done the barley, back of the barley scooter. Oh yeah, I got my own scooter in Bali for a week and all that. But I've never driven a motorbike on a road. Like, I've done a scooter. I was going to say, yes, I've done one in Mikanos. Yeah, the quad bikes? Yeah, yeah. Oh, the scooters, yes.

It's a scooter. It wasn't. He didn't have the four wheels. Still just as crazy over there. But that was helmet. It was with someone I trust. Oh, mate. When I drove my quad bike in Micanos, I was not sober and I was not wearing a helmet.

How they still let tourists on that island, I do not know. Yeah, goodness me. Between you on the quad bike and you were bugs and you were bugsyclat. I don't know how it's still. Same night, too. I drove to Bob Sinclair and drove home. Was it 200 minutes? Anyone want to hear us?

I'm soft of all. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, would you, do you ever see motorbike in your future? Fuck, no, I got no desire. I don't have any, I'm not like a, I'm not a car person or a bike person. I got no desire. What do you mean? You're a mad car person?

I mean, no, I love getting a car. I just don't, I'm not, I'm not passionate about cars. Yeah, yeah. You're not like under the hood, building a car on the weekends. It's funny, my brother-in-law, or both my brother-in-law's, huge car people, love the bikes. They talk about it. It just doesn't, it's just like motorsports. Like, it just doesn't get me.

Yeah. Doesn't excite me. I could not think of anything worse than running a motorbike. I know the closest I come to the world is enjoying the fast and the furious movies. Yeah. Like that's the closest. I stick to that, you know. Get yourself a little Mustang.

My lady on her bike. It's hot, man. The problem is, yeah, you think of people on bikes are so skillful and being able to like turn and put their foot out. Yes, it's. Weaving through traffic. Call me Valentino Rossi. I know one rider. Yeah, yeah.

Weaving through traffic, which is illegal, but in on a highway would be amazing. Oh my God. When they scooch around all the cars to get to the bank, the front of the bank of traffic at the red light, and then they can just shoot off. Shoot off. That would be nice. I do often wonder, though, groceries.

How do they do a big shop? You can't eat your big shop on that. Like, if I need to buy the 72 pack of nappies. Your side cart. It's just you and the nappies. Nothing's going to be sexier than you and your red Yamaha with a side cart full of fucking nappies. Huggies.

Yeah, hugies. She's a big girl. She's got the big kid ones. And we've moved to pull-ups. And then Angus is. in there holding the huggies, like, I love my wife. He's just holding the box. Holding the box.

And he's like, I love my wife and my life. With his big goggles. Yeah. I'm glad we got, yeah. In just one conversation, I've come back around here. In nine and a half minutes, we've turned you. Tilly half a minute, turn it up. Jess and ducco in the morning.

Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got the shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up with. I'm not that easy to take up. Just this tidal wave of liquid entering me. I'm got to explain. Ducco. No one moves a box like the duckman.

That's going to be my tombstone. Got him going insane. Shut up. Poor bitch. It's forgotten how to drink. Bavs. How's the fish, Billy? I'd be like, oh, well, actually one of them's gone, you know?

Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco. What on. 6 o'clock. Hey, welcome to Wednesday, team. The 15th of October. It's beautiful to be here. Good day.

Oh, it's a good day. It's a good day. It's a round day, isn't it? Don't you think? I feel like October is a round month. Yeah, October feels fat to me. It does feel fat. Yeah, it does.

I don't know why. One of the great crimes of the English language, I think. Oh, it's not even, I guess, English, because it translates in every... Most God, I've got a frog in my throat. Pardon me. You just clear that thing out. You get that out. I've got such an issue doing that, because remember when I saw a speech pathologist for like eight months?

She always used to tell me off for clearing my throat. She said it's really bad for your vocal cords. It is, yeah. But I never know what you. to do, look the fox coming back. It's like you can drink water, but it doesn't fully get it. All I got here is my protein shake, and I can't chug that. Cop a lurgie.

You just cough one up on Shaggart. I don't like to. Like what the footy players do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you get it out. Yeah, the big cough and a, you know. And a Bushman's blow to round it out. Yeah.

What I was going to say, the crime, I see it often talked about on the internet, that October Oct, Oct, which is like the derivative of the number eight? Yeah. Why is it the 10th month? Yeah, that doesn't make it. happened here? Why do we do that? Why did we do it? Someone's got to go back to the calendar formation days and really question. Because what's the eight month? August. August? What's that got to do with the price of fish? Yeah, I don't know. You could swap August in October and I feel like

no, no. One of the things I often think about, like could we make a big societal change like that? How hard would it be for us all to adapt? Oh, we'd all complain about it, but they could definitely do it. Eventually, it's like when a school, did you ever go through maybe primary or high school where they changed the uniform, but you were halfway through? So all the parents kick up a stink going, well, I'm not buying my kid the new uniform. I've got to buy the new ones. So you just got to phase out as the last cohort with this old uniform. And you want to be retro and keep on to the old uniform?

Absolutely. My mum always, I'm not buying you the new blazer. They made me fork out however much with the original. You're wearing that till the end, sis. Buying school uniforms would be such a punish as a parent. Such a punish because that classic thing of, well, I want you to be able to grow into it. Well, now I look like an idiot for three years, Mark. Yeah.

Because you bought for a year 12, and I'm just a little year 8. I used to have those high socks with the shorts. You couldn't see my kneecaps. My backpack was dangling below my butt. You eventually grew into those shorts. I'm sure. But year 12, I grew into all my stuff from year four. Like, I finally got there.

It took me a while. I reckon I only had, I've got very small feet. I honestly reckon I only had three pairs of shoes my whole school and career because I just never grew into them. What size shoe are you? I'm a six and a half, ladies. Yeah, that is a little. It's little, like all my girlfriends

are a seven and a half, eight. Minimum. Yeah. I've got one girlfriend has 11. I'm like, my God, you missed out an opportunity to go swimming. Yeah, interesting. To be a swimmer, sorry. You've got small feet, but you're not like, sure.

I know. You're average high for a lady out of you. My 11, size foot, size 11 foot friend often says, like, how are you upright? Your feet aren't big enough to support your body, like, physics-wise. How is that happening?

No one of you don't like running. Yeah, yeah, it's really hard for me. What's my shoe are you? I'm an eight and a half nine. And eight and a half a number. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shy guy's got some flippers. Yeah.

What are you? Depending on the brand 11 or 10. Yeah. That's not a hard in a sweet spot, but not every brand does a half. No, brands are getting really annoying now. If like if I'm an eight in one shoe, I could be a 10 in another. Yes. Or it just doesn't make sense.

One hundred percent. Similarly, I went and tried on some jeans yesterday. Yeah. And literally gene sizes, at least for women, it's your 28th or your 42s. I go, I don't know. a medium. Yeah. What's that tricket's way to?

They are annoying. The sizing world is an absolute nightmare. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. Um, Charlotte, good to see you today this morning, looking Brian Neely. Thanks. We're down a troop today.

No Babzilla today. Yep. She's off on another swingers cruise. It's just funny. On a Wednesday, she's such a tight ass. She's like, I've got to take advantage of the midweek deal. Yeah. It's always more expensive on a weekend.

She's like, I've got to take advantage. I'm going on on Wednesday. Yeah, one day cruise only. So shy guys, steering the ship. I mean, as you always. do, but without your first, is it first mate? Your first mate. Your first mate?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's okay. Are you feeling all wrong? I mean, we found out yesterday at this time that if I was to die, shy guy would make sure the show's back on air within a week. Do you know any DMs we got? Because we posted a little video of that.

Oh, yeah. So many DMs of people saying, can you guys stop talking about this? It's actually making me sad. I don't know if they inferred they meant shy guy's lack of care. Yeah, it could be that. Or thinking of you dying. Oh, that's nice. But we actually upset quite a few rice cookers.

Apologies. Sorry. I look what you did. You upset people. Yeah. She doesn't actually care. Shrugs nonchromately. Honestly, anyone could be sitting in these chairs in Shaga.

I just be doing Shaga. I've had a weird morning though. Oh, here we go. So the light in my bathroom fell on me this morning. Oh, that's bad. See, that's bad. Just the plastic. Yeah, like the cover of the light came off.

Just popped off. A hit you in the head? Yeah, like knocked me. I was like, what? I thought the walls were falling in. Oh, that would be very dispopulated. That's my way to work. There was a moth in my car.

I only drove off the road. It freaked me out. I'm hearing bad omens because of what you said yesterday. Like, this sounds like you're being punished. Being punished. And you know what they say? Bad luck comes in threes. Yeah.

Oh, no, and now we're in the vicinity of you. So it's going to happen to you while we're here. And it looks up to the ceiling. There's a studio light fall on me today. Yeah, that's interesting. So now I've got to go home and fix that up later. Moth in the car. How did the moth get there?

I don't know. But it was huge. It was like 50-7 piece size. Oh, he's probably been living in your car. And it's just emerged from its cocoo. Maybe. I don't know. It freaked me out, though.

I thought it was a giant spider. Fair enough. You've had it. So are you saying you're a first mate down. You've been a hit in the hand and you've got a moth. You're rattled. Oh, he's got to go for HIA. We've got to do the radio H-I-A promo.

Hang on today's Dippy Dippy Shy Guy Day. He's meant to be firing on all cylinders. Do you need me to dip today? I can dip if you want. I mean, I'll be perfectly fine to do it. No, no, mate, you've got a H-I-A. Let's... I think we have one guest dip ever.

I think it was Rob Mills. Rob Mills definitely did Bikies once. That's right. You would be the... I think that was the last guest we had in the studio. It would have been 18 months ago. It was.

Oh, hang on, Ranger Mick came in. A Ranger Mick didn't he tell us he was on a bloody time limit. We actually didn't have time to interview him. He's like, I've only got time for a video and I'm leaving. I'm sure you're a snake. I'm going to get out of here. Touch my snake and off I go.

I'll see Ranger Mick today. Oh, you're going. Oh, tell him I said hello. Oh, absolutely. As if he'll remember me. What? We do have a big show, though. Shark is going to go for a HIA, half an hour sit down.

We've got Alpha Bucks, your chance at 10K, some shocking players yesterday. Good people, but good fun. Great, delightful people, but yeah, not good at the game. We have dips. We do have more chances at that co-fog. We have one coming up in the next sort of 20, 25 minutes. Which is a fun one to get involved in. But let's not forget, Angie Stadium, Friday's Love.

It's sold out. Yeah, baby. These are the last tickets in town. Genuinely, the only way you can be there is by getting involved. involved in the program. How good is that? Very good. Up next, though, there's been a new article.

Shagga sent this to me privately. And I said, brother, we've got to bring this to the team. I love it. I'm sorry Babs is going to miss out on this. Yeah. I wanted her to lead it, which is probably why she's not here today. Does size actually matter? Shagga's been a good friend to be saying, you're all right, mate.

Oh, what a supportive fellow. Jess and Ducko. The age-old debate, does it matter if you're a pork sword? Is big or small. You know what I mean? My huge Johnson. What's that famous saying, Ducko? It's not about the size, about how you use it.

That's right. Is that true or is that made up by unwell-in-bowed? Unwell-in-down. For what I've been with, I think it's true. That's why you're so flexible and creative. Did you know Ducko invented puppetry of the penis? Does the distract his lady? I did not.

Yeah, I did the yo-yo before I did. He had to get real creative. Yeah, I did. Yeah, it's hard to distract them. Obviously. Look over here, quick. Hissed him? Yeah, no, no, no.

Have a look at this. It's a lotus. I'm doing... He's turned it inside out. Wow. I can't feel anything, but geez, the lotus is cool. But I am entertained. I'm entertained.

And then they walk away and go, that was a fun experience. And we hug. That's why dessert's so important. It's the taste left in your mouth. If they walk away and go, I had a really good time. Did our climax, who guess? I think I did. I think when he made the origami and then he did the windmill,

I think I did. That would work. Did he bring out juggling balls at one stage? No, they were just his test. Anyway. I've never seen someone juggle their balls by you, bro. Thanks, man. This is my party trick.

Sometimes when I'm bored in the studio, whenever I need to, I pick me up. If you know, something's falling a bit flat, you know, shy guys looking a little down, Tucker goes, come over here. All right, guys. Chinks. Oh, great stuff.

Anyway, new studies answered whether the size is actually important. This was done by our mates at Monash University. Hey, man. They do everything. They do. Ozzy University, National I and New. And until that little drama, oh, that was Monash IVF, was going to say they were very well respected in this space.

Yeah, they lost a few things. They wanted to carry out this research. What they did is they projected, for some reason, they wanted to find out if size actually does matter. Stuff cancer. Of all the problems in the world. Let's drill down on this. These are obviously very smart minds

who would have had to spend quite a bit of time, energy and money on this. A lot of money and time and energy. So there better be some good results. So they projected life-sized 3D images of different body types and showed them to 105 women and asked them to rank their attractiveness.

They found that participants tended to rank bodies because it was naked bodies. Yep. With larger panes, more attractive. We could have guessed that could have. I was patterned. I knew you were trying to find something. It was probably, Hawkins, why not working?

You know too well. A bit of early wood. I was actually trying to find my short king's thing. I can't. Hang on. So women with the heads cut off, I assume, just bodies with genitals on display. Yep. They ranked the bigies as better.

Yep. Okay. They found that participant's side. centering bodies, large penis is more attractive. They wanted to address the notion of whether size matters using valid scientific approach. Our study altered several male body parts at once using life size 3D figures

to show for the first time that peen sizes have different effects on attractiveness depending on height and body shape. Penis size wasn't the only factor though. Height has a big influence. Oh, Dougo, this is not... Why did you make me read this story? Basically, if you were short, you got demoted

And if you had a small peat... How did they... Jesus! Because if I just see a body with the head cut off shown to me, you don't, on a projection, you can't tell if that's a six-foot body or a five-two body. So they must have lined them up, A to J, and gone, okay, he looks tiny.

He looks little, look that little guy. This is awful. And also, again, I ask you, Ducko, who didn't know this? Yeah, I know. But I've gone on to say, someone, sometimes ladies can't sleep with a partner because it causes them pain. or discomfort because they're too big. So, you know, you never want to be too large, Shylaw.

Hey? You don't want to be too daunting. You want to be too daunting. Sometimes, you know, come back down. Intimidating. People don't want to be intimidated. They want to feel safe. They want to feel safe and cuddled.

Yeah. And entertained. Jess and Duckow. Good news. Alpha Box is next. Babs isn't here today. So I presume Shiger's going to take your calls next. Oh, are you going to run out?

For anyone who doesn't know, shy guy sits in with us. Whenever people go, who's that weird guy? sits in the studio in your videos. That's shy guy. Who's the guy who didn't even crack a smile when Sonia won $10,000 in Alphabucks a couple of weeks ago? That's shy guy. That's shy guy. The guy shy with everything, including facial expressions, but he's not shy about running out to answer your calls to play Alphabucks. You actually don't know how to work Babs' headset.

The headset would be the only thing. I don't know how to actually say. The Bluetooth connectivity. The Bluetooth connectivity. That is way above my headgrey. Is the headset firing out of you? I have no. idea. I haven't turned it on yet. Okay. Can you go old school? Like, is there a landline connection? No, not anymore. So it's just the headset we're relying on? I mean, I've got my

headset on my side. Oh, so you're going to do your side? I'll use my side. Oh, okay. Oh, God forbid you touch Babs. Like, we could. We could definitely go out there and, you know, I know what Babs does. Justin Ducko, please hold. Jessanducko, please hold. Thanks for holding. What do you want to spend the money on? Yeah. Thanks for holding. What do you want to spend the money on? Hot tip. Yeah. Holiday. Just to be a little more creative. Don't say holiday. Yeah. Say something like Mark said the other day. About to get divorced, want to do a blowout party. That's fun.

That's much more interesting. Botox. Botox. Would you take scrotox? Absolutely. Pian enlarging surgery after we've just had that article recently. So whatever you want. Where Monash University has definitively claimed, size does matter.

Size does matter both in shape and height. Do you know, I think we got caught up on you doing juggling with your own testicles. But we didn't actually get to. That was a completely visual study. Yes. There was nothing to do with the, No. Or smaller gentleman being able to use it better.

Rank these naked bodies from attractiveness, and they had varying sizes of height and then appendage. Do you know what I'd actually like, a further study, if you can tweet Monash? Yeah. At what point does it up now? Thank you. At what point for a heterosexual woman at least? Sorry, I've just let my typewriter in the tent. Two seconds.

I'm just going to get that one out. What? Bats is in the tent. Of course she's in. We should have checked the tent. I'll leave you in there, Slendick. All right, I'm good. At what point for a heterosexual woman does it tip over from, that's perfect to, well, now I'm a little scared. Okay.

Now I'm a little daunted. Perfect two. Now I'm scared. Okay. All right. At what point is that tippage? You know? You probably be the better one to answer that in the room.

That would be. I don't know if I've seen, I've seen a careful, but I don't know. Have I seen enough to accurate? Didn't you say it was like a 2000 person? Yeah. It was a big study. I've not seen 2000. Who do you take me for, Bonny?

She would know. Okay, back to you, shy guy. Tweet your girl, Bonnie. Okay. She would know at what point does it tip over into, wow. I'll send her a message. That's a little scary. It says satisfaction is higher in girl-on-girl relationships and it is for girl-on-goy. They report more climaxes during that time.

I have heard this ducker, and I heard it does come down to, as everything always does, comms. It's communication. It's talking it through, being able to... Listen to the last line of this article, I missed this. So, don't dismay if you are less than well-endowed. You don't need a penis at all to keep your lover happy, let alone a big one. Oh, I see what they're saying. If ladies can do it to ladies, then you don't meet you.

You're all good. Just keep juggling and making origami. Just having a laugh. Having a good time. What's sexier than a laugh? Nothing. Nothing sexy than a laugh. See what's sexy than a laugh?

Shagai answering the phones. That turns me on. And dangling a $10,000 car. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. All right. Hop on out there, Shagai. Okay.

Finish that email. He hates. He hates that. He's got to go. It doesn't matter what it is. He sits. No one can. No one does.

He sits so, like mischievously angled to me at a ducko, but away from me. I can't. I can never see you screen. It's on your screen right now. A Yahoo article for later and a word doc. I'm doing the sheet. Oh, look, you are doing a lot today. You are working over time.

Is us talking to really annoying you? No, it's fine. I'm going to go out now so you can keep going. 13-1060, call him, get through to Shy Guy. And I want you to say, good morning, sexy shy guy when he answers. And do not say, I want a holiday. Yeah, don't say that. I want to hear anything else.

Anything but a holiday. 13-10-60. Has some fun. Call Shy Guy. Alpha Bucks. We'll play next. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass. We come back, of course, if there's time. Our player today for $10,000 is Ellie. Hello, Ellie. Hello. Ellie, good morning to you. Good morning.

We have heard that you're relatively new to the time slot. Well, welcome to the early. rising community. Thank you. It's a pleasure to have you as part of the gang. And you got through Shy Lord. You got through Shy Guy. Good on you.

Awesome. Famously tough to crack, Shy Guy. Ellie, how did you charm him? Oh, I told him if I won my $10,000, I'm going to get fake boo. Ah, that'll get him. Shag Guy wants more ball tons in his city. Yeah, yeah. If you want to see those fake boo.

Ellie, what size do you want, babe? We're talking double D. I don't know. Only a couple sizes, like, not too big. Not too big. Once where you can still, you know, think they're natural. And you can still go for a run and stuff. Absolutely.

Yeah. But that's imperative. We don't have that back pain. No, I know. Ellie's going to win the 10 grand. You know, built for speed and comfort, but still a good time. Amen. Oh, Ellie.

Yeah, that looks great. Not on. We've had a couple of ladies join the show wanting some fake tithies from us. No one is yet to do it. No. Well, today's the day. Today's the day, Ellie, and how's this for some synergy from the universe? Yes.

Your letter is E. E for Ellie. E for Ellie. Oh, see how we go. Hey, come on. I think that means you have to get size E. Yeah, it does. Get a couple of Lantons, a couple of cahooners.

I don't even know if 10 grand will cover, E's. You might need 12. Ellie's never standing up. You know what? Shaigo or dip in his own cash to get you to E. Joe's just typed in, oh yeah, he's going to buy you them, regardless. Heartless.

Awesome. Yeah. Ellie, are you ready to rock? I'm ready. Let's do it. Your time. We'll start after the first question. Starting with the letter E, we need you to name.

Something sweet. Past. A country. Ethiopia. An adverb. Exercise. A DJ. Eminem.

A tea flavour. Earl. A male actor. Passed. An online store. Passed. An airline. Damn it.

That was a hard one. Yeah, we had one question mark two, pending on advert exercise. That's just a straight-up verb. Yeah, didn't think it was. I wanted to check with my name queen over there. Yeah. Gave at my back to it.

Yeah. You took a stab. Something sweet could have been in a Claire. An adverb could have been an energetic or excellent. A DJ, you said Eminem. He's a rapper. We're looking for Eric Pryds. A tea flavour.

You said Earl. You forgot Gray. I think, I don't know if there's one strong up called Earl. Yeah. There's Earl out there. You know, and he's missing his partner, Gray. A male actor, Edward Norton, Eddie Murphy, an online store eBay or Etsy where my witch is from.

And an airline, Emirates, is what we're after. I couldn't think of an airline. I could have said Ed Dine. Oh, yeah. That's all right. Next time. Hey, Ellie. You've been a delight anyway, you know?

Shy guy, I guess that means you're forking out the whole price of the rack. You're paying for Ellie's e-cups, Shylord. Yep. Company card. We'll take the visa. Company card. We'll talk about. Here we go.

All right, Ellie. You talk to Shy Guy. We'll get a company card sort of. Awesome. Sounds good. But we'll give you some crocs. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

You had all suspended crox. Yeah. And you're a nurse. Like Ducko's wife, she thumbs up for the crocs. Yeah, she likes a good crox. Yeah, that's so handy. That is handy. There you go, Ellie.

Oh, that's better than 10K. What a legend. Yeah. 100%. Thanks, Ellie. Have a great day. Thank you, you too. Oh, what a legend.

What a good time. I like that. Ducco, with a good times continue. Yeah. A Texan plumber is suing. Because he's not happy about what they did with his old truck. Oh, no. Let me tell you about this story, Ducko.

This is, now look, it's a decade old, and I think we are living in this age now where people are so pedantic about, got to get something up on the gram, so they're recycling some news. This came from our friends at Unilad, and when I saw it, I went, oh, you guys usually have your finger on the pulse. Further investigation, the story's from 2015. But I never saw it then, so that's why I bring it to you now. Hit me.

Take us to Texas, please. Ooh. I'll be somewhere down in Texas. Shy guy, can you please get the original tweet up so we can show Duckow the image that went viral? We're in Texas, Ducko, because there's a plumber. Good to be here. His name's Mark, all right? Mark's just living his best life.

Mark is a small business owner. He's a plumber, just trying to help his local community. And he's got a truck, you know, nice big American truck. Hell yeah. He drives a ram, baby. He's got a ram. He's got the nice flat lay to transport all these bits and bobs. And on the side of his truck, you know, he's got a truck.

He's got the name of his business, Mark I plumbing. It's got the nice big stickered logo. Yeah. Now, the issue is, hang on, let me lead him in. Oh, you told him what was that, sorry. Not yet. Shire got the tweet up for me. That's right.

So Mark I'm plumbing on this truck, but he goes, I think it's time to upgrade. So he takes it to his local dealership and he goes, I want to trade it in. Yep. I'm going to start taking me logo off, though. Let me take it off because you'll obviously sell it as a used car. They went, don't worry about it, Mark. we'll do that for you. So you need to get your logo and your number off the side before.

The dealership looked him in the eye and said, Mark, we got you. Yeah, we'll do that. You focus on your new vehicle. Oh, no. We'll take care of getting that logo off. Oh, Mark. I feel like this is going somewhere. I don't want it to go.

Well, I don't know if you have music to suit this ducco so we can stay in Texas. Might be smart, oh, yeah. We end up in Syria. Now you can show him with a tweet. We end up in Syria. Mark one plumbing on the side of this tree. This car gets taken up by a jihadist militant group And where once was Mark's tool bag

And maybe a toilet going to a customer Becomes an anti-aircraft missile gun And a terrorist man There is terrorists, radicalist groups on that shooting at planes And it says Mark I'm coming on the side With his phone number With the number, that's the issue So the dream Americans are seeing that calling him being like,

Well, yes, the terrorist group, firstly, great social media activity. They put a photo being like, fear us. Look at our weaponry. But all anyone... They took that shot. Oh, boys, this is a good shot of you shooting that gun. Should we chuck it on Facey? So they've chucked it on bloody Twitter.

It's gone viral. It's made its way back to mainland America. And people have gone, Mark I'm going to call this number. No. Because he's obviously involved. So his business gets inundated. How did the deal ship? He gave it to you, sell it to them.

So this is the question, Mark. He sues, rightfully so. Mark goes, this is unacceptable. You looked me in the eye and said, you were going to get rid of my logo. At least removed the last digit of my number. At least. Mark won plumbing. I mean, that could be a Syrian plumbing.

It could be. You never know. Who we'd a judge? The Syrian mark. But it's got his number. So his business gets inundated. They had to get, like, the federal police involved. He needed protection.

He wasn't getting business calls like for work. No, Mark, I saw you were in Syria. Can you fix my business. My toilet? You know how they say all publicity is good publicity? Mark has found the one example where that is not true. So he sued for a million dollars. Sued the dealership, not the terrorist group.

Yeah, well, then I'm going to pay him. Couldn't get onto their lawyers. And did they... Now, that is the question. Shy guy, was he successful? Or maybe they settled out of court if you can't find that information. I did look for a more reason. I couldn't...

I wonder if he got the money, because what do they do? And also, how did they get the car to Syria? That is the bigger question. How have they ended up with his... And this is from 2015. This is a 10-year-old story that Unilad has gone, guys, you might have missed this 10 years ago, and I'm so glad they brought it back to our attention.

Honestly, you could have told me that was now, and I wouldn't have known. I really could have. Yeah. It's unbelievable. That's funny. Hey, this is funny. Our friend Stephen Colbert picked up the story back in the day. And he joked, Syria's going down the toilet,

but for the very first time, they know who to call to unclog it. Great year from Colbert. So they have an update. They did settle. Ah, how much did Mark? Undisclose something. Oh, that's all. He got some.

He got some coin, as he deserves, Mark, because now he's got to do all new rebrands. It's really a win-win for Mark, because the business wasn't going great. He got rid of the truck. All of a sudden, he gets free coin out of it. Absolutely. And he's now got people talking about him 10 years on. Yeah. Good on, yeah.

Like another photo of it, just another angle. Geez, they really are good on their social media. They did it. It looks good with the cannon on site. Jess and Ducko. We are the first mate down. Shy guy's little buddy Babs has taken the day. We've called in reinforcements.

Well, she had that one-day swingers cruise. That's right. They don't even leave. They just keep docked. It's the Wednesday special. She's like, you know, money's a bit skinned at the moment. I don't know if I can pay full freight of a Saturday. I need the midweek special.

Yeah. So she's taking the day. Yep. Shy guy's called in reinforcements. Producer Shorts. Shorts is here. He's helping us out because he's a little concast. So we've got a question mark over whether it'll be shy guy dips or the duckman dips.

Ducky boy. No, duckman dips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's happening next. So stick around. You don't go anywhere for that. Unprecedented times. That's right.

Call for unprecedented solutions. Or it could just be precedented as shy guy, does it? Yeah. We could all just play our roles as we do. But shorts are here. Short's say, good morning. Do you know how to... No, not that one.

Next one. Try next one. No, not that one. We'll get you. Keep trying. I'll keep going. No, not that one. Yeah.

Good morning. Every time. I'm so sorry. Hey, that's fine. Your knees are looking fire today. They are good. Stop it. Hey, right now, just this is a bit of fun.

Our friends at news.com.com. You have revealed something that's happened to our politicians. He scares his shit out of me. Thank you, Albanesey. What was he talking about? Trump. That was pre-Trump's election. I think it was pre-Albo being elected, too.

Okay. All right. Good times. Authorities are scrambling to keep Anthony Albanese's personal phone number private after it's been leaked in a US-based website. How did they get it? Well, apparently the site owners used AI to scrape the web, winning social media platforms and professional profiles

to get contact details of the world's biggest political leaders. So Anthony Albanese's phone number got leaked. Donald Trump's and Emmanuel Macaroon. No way. Yes, because you know on Facebook, when we set them up back in the day, you linked your mobile number.

So is that how they got elbows? Albo still hasn't updated his Facebook profile in years. He's entered politics now and they've gone, we've got to wipe your social media. I'm clean. There's no skeletons in my closet. Yeah, but your personal mobile numbers out there. As if he's not getting multiple numbers or phones or...

I was going to say... As if he's keeping the one number. Obviously, you said personal. They'd be the work phone, which I can't even imagine he carries. No. But even the personal, is that just for his partner to say, hey, we're out of eggs? Possibly. Like, who has...

Pick some milk up on the way home, will you, Alba? Yeah. The numbers were probably scraped from LinkedIn. It's where they were initially taken. Oh, silly. Don't put it on LinkedIn. That is the business platform. You want to be endorsed for Excel, but just keep your number off.

Put that as your work. Mobile? They were made aware of these issues. This happened yesterday. This leaked. Apparently I love this article. We've asked the website to remove the information. The call when you ring Mr. Albanesey's number goes to voicemail and he has a voicemail. It says, Hi, you've rung Anthony Albanesey. Please leave a message. He didn't do the, hello. He gets him. Hey. Hey, mom. You're there? You're there? You've called Albo's voicemail here. Gotcha.

You've called Alba, you dirty dogs. I'm surprised the PM of our country has a voice. I know, I just... Obviously, they have a life before they become PM, but it just, it wigs me out. He's just got a personal number out there. Also, I love that the Aussie... She's playing snake in his spare time. I love that the Aussie...

He's still got the Nokia 3210. I can't see him as a candy crush guy. No, he doesn't... He's old school. Huge, huge, hum, snake guy. Yeah, yeah. But I love that the Aussie political landscape and his people are like, this is damage control.

I mean, when you think people are going to call you, if you saw a Trump's number, and Manuel Macaron's number, and Anthony Alvonez, who you call him first? You're not calling Albo. I know you're calling MacRot. I'm calling Manuel, because, you know, you're delicious wave, etc. But you're not calling Albo.

Maybe that's the issue. They're like trying to drum up a bit of press because they're like, oh, no one's pranking the PM. Everyone's calling Trump. Call Albo. He's his number. He's got a voicemail. Des and Ducko.

I reckon producer shy guys having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My muck, my muck. Shy guy dips. I'm so excited. I want shy guys box. As you should be. Time to put some lead in your pencil, put some pep in your step.

It is time for Shy Guy. Chips. Shy Guy has many skills. Describing things is not one of them. No. So for the past nearly two years, we've tried to educate you, teach you another language. Yep.

It's called Shy Guy Anese. It's a tough one. It's a tough one. If you can decipher what the hell he's talking about, not only do you win breakfast for the next two weeks or so. Not least. You also get a swag of JD. Merch. Gizbit, fridge magnet.

Bottle opener. All the good stuff. All the good stuff. Shy guy is coming off the back of a concussion. Yep. And a big old fright when a moth attacked him in the car this morning. And his light frame fell on him. So he's cleaning his teeth. I can imagine he's going to be rattled.

This could be even more interesting. So the HIA doctors have come and assessed you. Yeah, what are they say? Like, do they say you're good to go? Is this a cat one? Is that the, I'm not. Or is this a category two? He doesn't know how to play.

This is a category two. Also, they don't watch a lot of NRL. I don't really know how well. This is category two. So you've had your 10 minute or it's half an hour in radio. Dougow is speaking as sports-lish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is a language shy guy.

I can say anything right now. We thought you could be a category six, but they've downgraded you two or two. So you're good to go. Yeah, I think you're good to play. Let's say that. Let's say two. Okay, good to go. Good.

All right. First clue then, Mr. Catery two. First clue, they're kind of like little pillows. Massive. That's big. I'm generous. He certainly had a head knock. Hey, wow.

Usually you get... Three words. Yeah, yeah. Orange balls. Ribbons. Little pillows. The ribbons was my worst clue you've ever given. What was that for?

I was a red band. He was a red band. Oh, yeah. That's right. 131060, little pillows. Little pillows is huge. You'll get another clue as well if your first cab off the rank. Give us a call 131060.

Guess what's in, shy. Guys. Baw. Jeff and Ducko. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My muck, my muck, my muck. Shy guy dips.

I'm so excited. I want Shy guy's box. Shy guy's going to give you a series of clues, if you can decipher those clues leading to the box of cereal in his hand. Not only do you win that box of cereal, you get a whole swag of J.D. Merge and you go into an elite category of person. Yep. I speak shy guy on ease. I want shy guy's box.

It's a real honour. Truly. Yeah. Truly. Gary, good morning to you. Good morning. Now, Gaz, you were very quick on the phone. Just with that first clue, which shy guy gave us,

they look like little pillows, but you also get a supplementary clue being the first cab off the rank. What do you got for Gaz? Gaz, the box is purple. Put it all together, Gary. Geez, pillow purple. I don't really eat cereal, so. Oh, I love how passionate you were to get involved in.

called in early then, Gaz. I'm going to go the hardest cab off the rate. He hung around from the second guy Sebastian's son. I went, God, Gary's got it. Well, you're on the chance of Friday's live tickets of nothing else, Gary. Entertain us. What do you reckon? Puffs.

Who said pass? Puffs. Puffs. It's not puffs. But at least what Gary's done a service to everyone. We can cross Puffs off the guessing leaves. Thank you, Gary. We'll meet you next week.

Sarah, on 13. 10-60, good morning to you. Good morning. Sarah, their little pillows. It's a purple box and... There is three kinds of berries in this cereal. Oh, goodness. Strawberry, blueberry, raspberry.

Goodness me. Just give it to Sarah, why don't you? Are they their uncle Toby's fruity bites? You are so close. You're flirting with it, Sarah, and you have just done that for some people out there. You have done such. Oh, we are right there. I'm going to go just because I'm in a good mood.

I'm pretty sure what shy guy has is the LD version of what Sarah just gets. It's not Uncle Tobs. It's right. And it's not fruity bites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something else. Hello, Will. Bye.

We've heard they look like pillows. It's a purple box. There's three kinds of berry. But you get another clue. Yep. Will, there's, like, little, like, rivets in each of the pillows. Like divvets? Yeah, divvets, maybe, I don't know, what if you call this?

Yeah, little grooves. Oh, they're groovy little pillows, Will. Rivets, Will, what do you reckon? I have no idea. I was, at first, I didn't hear you properly. I was going to say ravioli, but, like, weedios? I don't know. I was going to chuck a pasta in that.

Have you never heard this game before? No, fantastic. Welcome to the family. Firstly, it is purely cereals. But I love Will's gone to pass the shape. That is. Welcome to the show. Do you want to give him the prize just for that?

It is not ravioli. It's not ravioli. Or the other one. But I love that you've called in. Call back any time. We go to Steph. Surely we've got Will Huckline and Sinker. He's now going to be involved.

He's a listener for life. Involved every week. Steffie, hello. Hello. We've heard they look like little pillows with rivets, grooves, divots in them. There's a purple box. Three kinds of berry. You get another clue.

Yeah. There's only so much I can say. I'll give you the flavor. Love it. Okay. Triple berry. Triple berry. Tell us the cereal.

Triple berry. I'm thinking falcona brand buds. It is not. Remember, we were floating with it when we had. Sarah guest, fruity bites. Pretty bites. And she got very close. In fact, Sarah's winning right now.

Elijah, good morning. Hello. Do you need another clue, babe, or do you got it? I think I've got it. I don't know if I actually have the actual name. Well, do you want another clue then? Hang on. Are you going to risk it?

I'm going to risk it. So I used to actually eat these a lot. I'm pretty sure they're wheat-bicks bites, aren't they? Oh. Oh, there is not weak-biz. There is a triple berry or a berry in the weird big spites. There is, Elijah. I can see why you've done that. Again, Sarah said fruity bites.

Yes. That's not what they're called. That's not what they're called. But she got basically 80% of the night. Very close. Like, think about cocoa pops and cocoa puffs. Oh, it's so close. Tash and Georgia. Good morning to the both of you.

Morning. We've got the gals on the line. We've got a team effort. You get another clue quickly. If you bite into these, you're going to get like a, reddish sort of strawberry-like, I don't know, consistency, jam sort of like cheese, okay, okay, Tash Georgia, thoughts? Is it fruity burst triple berry? Yes!

Now was that Tash or was that Georgia? Listen to them going nuts. I love it. Was that Georgia? We're waiting for the school bus. Oh, well done, ladies. Well, you've just won yourself a packet of fruity burst triple berries. plus a fridge, mate it, plus a jiz bit, plus a bottle opener.

That's fantastic. Wow. And you now can walk around with your head hell high saying I am so smart. I speak shy guy and ease. We do just need one thing from the both of you though. Just you want to give them the line. Absolutely. All right, ladies, together, we want you to say, hi.

Hi. Oh, I guess our names are Tash and Georgia. Tash and Georgia. Tash and Georgia. And we're so excited. So excited. We just won shy guys box. Ready?

We just won shy guys box. All right, word for word, verbatim, waiting for the school bus. So time is of the essence. And action. Hi, my name's Georgia and I'm so excited. I just won shy guys box. Oh my gosh, she gets her first go. Jess and Ducko.

Tucko, you know, sometimes I think we get in our own heads in this little room because obviously we don't have a live studio audience, like an old school 90s sitcom. No, we got shy guys. We do have, it's hard enough to get a grin out of him, let all want to chuckle. But sometimes you and I have talked about, like, ah, I can feel like it's just us talking to each other, you know, send anybody out there sort of thing. Well, I had a real moment yesterday, a real sort of inception moment that I went, no, they are out there. And this feels good to have witnessed in the wild.

Yeah. I was at a shopping centre doing my thing. I've come round the corner of a rack of clothes and nearly bumped into a woman. She had her head sort of buried in her. phone and my initial back went up. I'm like, look up. So your head's buried in your phone. Come on. You need to be looking around. Yeah, yeah.

She's looked up, clocked. It was me and gone, oh my God, oh my God. Yes. And my initial thing is like, oh God, oh God, have we met before? Yeah, yeah. She went, you're not going to believe this. Look what I'm listening to. And she had our podcast up. Oh, that's hilarious. While she was cruising around a shopping center. While she's cruising around.

That's funny. She goes, I say, what are you up to? She went, Babsers blog. So she was on yesterday's. Yes, so literally we'd just come off here. That's interesting. I ducked to the shops. I had, you know, the kid being looked after, so it was just me.

And she, in that moment, obviously, has missed maybe the morning or maybe just missed early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Babs' blog was in the depths of the morning. But I just had this real, ah, that feels nice. It's really like inception. Listening to the show at a shopping center is an interesting one. I'm like going for a walk or driving around. Yeah, she had a little, the air.

Potsy, wireless. Yeah. Cruising around looking at clothes. I went, I love that we are the soundtrack for your shopping spray on a Tuesday. She's just cracking giggles while she's looking at dresses. While she was in a great mood, she had a twinkle in her eye. She goes, I can't believe I'm, like I just

heard your voice. I went, you manifested me, here I am. I mean, it's pretty easy to spot you when you're just hanging outside that billboard, that new shopping centre. Like, you're just waiting there on a Tuesday for people to do know, oh, is that you and you in front of your billboard? I lied about her head being buried into her phone. I just slammed my body into her to get her a

Yeah, you gave her a signed headshot. Hey, whoa, what are you doing? Didn't ask for it. I was like, here, I'll sign your titties. Open up. Jess and Ducco. I've been sitting on this nugget for about 48 hours and I thought my rage would dissipate. And I could move on.

Okay. It hasn't, hence why I'm bringing it to you. I feel disrespected in one of my safe places, a restaurant. Okay. Went out for dinner with the girls Monday night. One of, I'm not going to say my local because it's, It's a little bit on the fancier side. Right.

But we do go often. If we're celebrating, if it is a group situation, because it's great sharing menu, we do go quite a bit. There is a waiter there who I think has beef with me and who now I, in turn, have beef with him. Because they've seen you before, is the first... Oh, the first incident. I didn't think anything of it. But now that it's happened with the same bloke, I'm now sensing a trend here. So it's happened twice.

Different issues, same person. Okay. So what happened Monday was I'm with a group of girls who knows me quite well. Yeah, going out with, girls, stop me there. Going out with Jess for dinner is like, it's like you don't really have a say over what you're getting. It's kind of like, just we'll collate the menu and be like, okay, I'm thinking we order bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, everyone cool if I take a lead on this. But I always say. At that speed, too.

Yeah, at that speed. And then I remember the first, the first lunch we did with Shire. Guy and Babs, I've never seen more fear in the eyes of two people. Yeah, it was just like, they're like, sure, I don't mind. Like, even if you do say, there's an option. I do say, is there anything on the menu that's speaking to you? Your subtext is saying, I don't care. This is what we're getting, because I know it's good.

With closer friends, like the group on Monday, you know me, don't eat seafood. So I do always say, is there anything that is speaking to anyone? And my friend, Carla, we go, I need the saviche. I got a freaking saviche. Yeah, all right. We get the saviche for you guys. Yeah. But yes, I do take charge because one of my biggest issues with group dinners

is how crap and forgetful and how dumb people get when they have to order. Thanks. I'm talking about my friends here. Yeah, yeah. And they have to hold up the menu to the waiter and points. Just learn what the freaking thing is you want and say with confidence, I'd like the Dan Dan noodles, please. Sometimes you forget that.

Or is it... Yeah, what do you mean you forget? Dun Dan, you know, when there's an accent, when it's a Chinese dish. This is why I take the pressure off everyone. Just gets her notes app out and she writes it in. My whole notes app. Yeah. It's just menus.

It's Woolworth's grocery running shopping lists I share with Angus. Yeah. And orders that have been having at restaurants. Because hasn't Angus told you in the past and you've gone out for like double dates or dinners, whatever? He's been like, jump the breaks before you get there. Like just, you know. Yeah. And I am incapable of doing that because everyone we ever dine with just doesn't know how to order.

Like, it's so annoying. So I take charge. And so I say, what does everyone want? I'll write it down. So the bloke comes over and he's standing at the opposite end of the table. There's seven of us. I don't want to shout at him. I don't want to shout over my friends.

So I give him the finger. Not the rude. As in, I give him the come hither finger. Come hither. The come hither. So he. Waiter over here. And gas on.

So he scoots around and he's standing over my shoulder. And I'm saying, right, we're going to start with the smash cucumbers. Then we're going to have a server of the mushroom dumbbell. then we're going to have the Savita. The fact that you still remember what you got is just bonkers. It's a good stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I notice, while I'm reading this to him, he's looking down at my note.

So I say, oh, would you rather just read it off the phone? Yeah. I'm like, so he shuts sort of the comms down between us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can just read it. No issue. Because I remember the last time, same bloke, one of the dishes didn't come out. Oh.

So I had to come here. Yes that. Come hither. I come hith at him. Did you tell him not to make that same mistake? I said, hey, sorry, we haven't had the bowel buns. He looks at me and goes, did you order them with me? Because I don't have them on my list.

I went, babe, don't question my list. Oh. So it's the same. And all your friends right now are just sinking, just going, I don't want to be here. They were all having a wonderful conversation because they know I got this. Handling it. Because I'm table captain. Yeah.

I'm the captain now. So we get through the list. He clearly has written everything down this time. Yeah. But at the end of the meal, and this is what I wanted to flag with him. Here we go. He brings the bill over.

Yeah. puts it in front of one of the other girls. Oh, he doesn't like you. I'm table captain. Oh, you think, so you get responsibility of the bill as well. I should have responsibility. It's like he's gone. I don't want to deal with you anymore.

Well, that's exactly what's happened. And I didn't care for that. I think when you, when you called him over by your finger, you finger pointed him over, and then you specifically shoot him a list, and then you've got to know when something didn't come and say, hey, babe, check the list. Obviously, he's trying to, he's, he tried to sass me. Did you get your order it with someone else?

No, mate. And answer me honestly. Well, yeah, with pleasure. Did you get your accent on with him when he tried to arc up at you? Did you go a bit ethnic on him? Because you know what happens when you get your back up. Well, I pulled up the list. But you know, it's a classic because I'm non-confrontational, but I know I'm in the right.

I think, I think this is confrontational. So all I do is get the list up and go, I had it on the list. Did you say U's can get? I didn't. Hang on, I've just had a message from one of the girls. Here we go. Tell the boys as close friends, we support you being table captain, taking the lead in ordering. They're scared.

All right, Putin. Oh, another one has just said. Don't forget the extra saviche. Oh, yeah. Oh, here we are. Actually, it's a good point, Sophie. So as you know, I don't know if he knows that I don't like seafood, but yeah, maybe I made a face when I ordered the saviche. He comes back around halfway through the meal being like,

Ladies, there was a leftover saviche to you guys want it. I can't eat. I don't want that. He definitely gave that to you knowing that you're like. I reckon he's got beef with me. But what I wanted to... What I wanted to do here, because I'm obviously, you don't respect the table captain position. I don't mind it when we go to a big group thing.

I just, I've seen you operate in many a group environment from fours to sixes to eight to whatever. And like, when my favorite thing is watching someone who's new to dining with you, watch you. Because it's just like strapping. It was actually a new girl to this group because it was a colleague. I've only met her once before. And I did notice she looking at the menu. I said, Emma, is there anything you want? She went, no, no, no, it's okay.

I'm scared. You can actually leave. I want to leave. So what I wanted to do. Here we go. If you identify as a table captain. I'm the captain now. This is a safe space for you.

Oh, you want table captains. I don't even know what I want from them. I just want to feel solidarity. Is there such thing? Is anyone like Jess, 13, 10, 60? Because I don't think we find anyone who's like you. I'm peak table captain. I've never come across a captain like you.

Do you know what I'd like to do? a table full of captains. Then who takes the leadership? Because that's just going to be all offering each other. Oh my God. Who gets their notes out? Yeah, that's, ooh. And then we'll go to this place and call that waiter over.

He's got to deal with A, with me. Okay, 13, 10, 60. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's see if there's any other table captains out there. Because I don't know if anyone else runs that dictatorship when they get to a restaurant. Is anyone else notes up on their phone just full of orders because they don't trust their dumb friend? Sorry, obviously two of them listen.

Yeah, you're listening. And the Saviche, and they don't like where they order. Oh, the freaking Saviche. And what I want to do is then rearrange the table. I went, right, Saviche eaters down that end. Everyone else down that end, but they didn't want to shuffle seats. Like North Korea over there. Oh, yeah, it is.

All right. Ken Jong-in wants the call out for table captains. If you're there. I'm so wrong. Go on. Just go on. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

I think we may have found your people. Yes. And I'm organising a dinner. At dinner with the girls Monday night. I felt disrespected by a waiter after clearly I am table captain after calling him over and running through our group order. I ask everyone prior to him coming to the table. So when he does come over, it is smooth for everyone involved. He don't need eight voices shouting out, getting confused, maybe mispronouncing things.

I lean in. So my pronunciations are always. bang on, and I've got it all written down. Nothing gets missed. Yep. But this bloke at the end of the meal then brings the bill and places it directly in front of one of my other girlfriends. And it just felt like a subtle power move to him from him to me to go, you think you're table captain, but I'm denoting her.

And I just... How dare you? How dare you? So I wanted to know. I mean, we know Jessica's cyclone Jess at a restaurant is a lot. If you've never done with her, good luck. And you make a good point, Ducko, because I do. believe I am quite soft, quite sensitive. I'm non-confrontational.

You can't possibly believe that. But in that setting, there are way things should be done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I get quite dictatory. So I'm looking for other friends. Kim Jong Jess. I love that the first person who's called also a Jess. It's another Jess.

Hello, other Jess. Hello. Jess. Have you heard the recent survey that the new age millennial Karen is named Jess? No, no. Are you a self-proclaimed table captain? Absolutely. I wear that with pride. Yes. And I bet all your friends, your partner, your family, your colleagues, whoever you're dining with, appreciates you. Oh, absolutely. There's not even a hesitation anymore. They just look straight. at me.

Yes. They're scared. Because they're scared. I mean, they appreciate it. Yeah, they're scared. Oh, hi,

Captain. What are we ordering? Yeah. Are you, are you as bad as Jess? Our Jess? Oh, I don't know.

Like, do you give them the choice of chipping in a dish? Or do you say, just close your menus, everyone. I got this. Oh, you know,

I think you need to give that, like you said, is there anything that you would like? Yeah. Yeah. And you don't actually mean that, Jess. Is that like asking someone when they move house and you say, hey, if you need

any help, let me know, knowing that it's a hollow invite? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what that is. I'm not coming. I'm not going to be there. It's just the offer. Here's a question for you, Jess. Do you pre-look at the menu before you get there knowing full well what you're ordering before you even arrive? That's a ridiculous question. What do you think we're new to dining out? This is why you'll never be a table cutting. I'll never be one. Okay, Jess. Yes, let's go out for dinner. I'll save your number. Taylor, Good morning. Hello, how are you? Yeah, good babe.

Are you a table captain? I am not, but my Maltese husband is. Okay, I've got some Maltese in me. So Taylor, how does it work with him? Is he like a, Taylor, don't even bother opening the menu? I got this. He knows what we're having before we get there. Yep.

It's all written down. Um, if we're out with family, friends, whatever, it's, uh, please, like, look at the menu and tell me, like, what you're having before we get there. Oh, so he wants you to put your orders in before anyone sits down. So it's like, no one even looks at a menu. Oh, I love that. That's an interesting take. And he's very much like, this is good, that's good.

We're having this. We're having this. We're having you done. Taylor, I've been known if it's a smaller group will go to the restaurant and they say, oh, you've got to be out by 7.30. And I was like, I could order right now. You give me 60 minutes. That's all I need.

You know what it is? It's how fast your chef can get it out. You know what I'm saying? Oh, absolutely. Exactly, exactly him. Down to the drinks, down to everything. It's all written down, ordered, done. Don't even bother.

You know what? That's good for the restaurant. That's more turnover. Get more customers in. Eat it out. Turnipurn. It actually is helping the economy. All right, Kim Jong.

Amesley. Are you a dictator? Yeah, I have everyone's orders in my phone before we even get there. That's amazing. The pre-phone order is whack. Ainsley, are you sending your friends, let's say it's a group of friends, the menu? You send them the link to remove, because if it was Ducko and I said, look up the menu, he'd be like, ah, didn't get around to it.

It's like, no, he's a screenshot of the menu. Yeah, you have to send it to me. Yeah, screenshot of the menu. Wow. screenshot of the menu, what you want. I already have my mum's and her sister's subway orders saved in my phone. I have my family's Chinese orders saved in my phone. Ainsley, yes.

You've got what people already like from their favorite restaurants saved. I also really like Ainsley. I will jump in. You know, Ducco's a big steak boy. And before he even finishes, I go, how do you want to cook and what are your sides and what are your sauce? Yeah, I've already got that written down. And then I just get up and go pay for it. I don't even let them leave the table.

And Ainsley, as table captain, when you pay and then you divvy up the bill and get everyone to transfer you, you know, well, that's a good thing to do. Get points. Oh, that's how you and Angus always fly, friggin' business. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabet bucks on hit. Yiddy up. Let's make a rain at cash.

30 seconds. 10 questions, all started with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say. pass. We come back, of course, if there's time stepping up today for $10,000. We have Brie. Hello, Bree.

Hello. Ah, Bree, in my top five, Jesus. Hello. Oh, Bree, you hear that? She'll order you. Absolutely. Top five you've got. You're not in my top three. But top five, absolutely. Brie, I would say, be the most common top for people. Absolutely.

To bloody novices, you don't know anything. Yeah, yeah. But this, Bree knows everything and she's going to win 10 grand. I like a triple-quered. Cream brie. Cass, that is my husband. Yeah, yeah. Really.

French, nice French boy. A really nice stuff. Hey, Bree, for 10 grand, you could get a lot of cheese, but I have a feeling that's not what you want to spend the money on. No, I don't like cheese. Oh, there you go. That is so cruel, your parents called you Brie, and you don't like cheese. You reckon they had cheese on the mine, or they're just like the name Brie, you know?

Um, wow. She's even spelt B-R-I-E. Oh, it's wild. They really tried to force her. No, no. I'm joking, Bree. I'm just, Bree. Go with us free.

He's like, it's not. She's like, hang on, when they write my check, they're going to misspell my name. Oh, I'm just having a laugh. Bree, what do you want to spend 10 grand on? I've got three kids, and I need Christmas presents. Oh, fair enough. Yeah. Okay.

Well, this is a great omen for you, because the letter you're going to work with is C, C for Christmas. Or Camerbear. Thank you. Thank you. Continue the cheese chat that Bree hates. Oh, my God, but I love that you've got to deal with me longer than you've got to deal with Bree. True. Bree, C.

Are you ready to rock? Okay. All right. Come on. Game mode. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C, we need you to name. An international city.

Canada? A drink. Park. A reality TV show. A shoe brand. Path. An adjective. A cry

An actress A phone app Disco A musical A flower All the phone Let's check that app We need to check if disco is a phone app

No, Cisco Oh Cisco It's a business phone app Oh As in yeah like the business ones Because international city You said Canala which is a country.

An adjective, you said cry, which is not correct. Everything else you got wrong. A phone app was the only thing that got you one. No nudie run for Brie. Oh, I was so close to whipping out that nudie run, Brie. Wow, Cisco, I mean, not even Glock or camera. I've seen it. It's got like a little bridge thing as their logo.

Oh, geez, you must work with those, Bree. I used to do that one. International City could have been Chicago. Drink could have been Coke or coffee, a reality show. As soon as I had passed, I thought of coat. I've got a coke right next to me. Oh, the brain froze. A shoe brand, Crocs, we're giving away on this.

You're going to get some after this. An adjective, clever, an actress, a Shalise, a Theron, or Kate Blanchet, a phone app. Could have been. You've got that a musical, Cats or Chicago. So, Brie, you didn't get it, but you got a hundred dollars to spend at Crocs. Oh, that's right. They can get Crocs for Christmas. There you go.

Bain. Put that in the stocking. You were a delight, Bree. Thanks very much. and I'm going to start doing it. Merry Christmas. Oh, no, it's not Halloween yet. But she, what, I said if they bring up Christmas. I don't think, I don't know.

I can't say, oh, you want to spend money on Christmas or a happy Halloween. Just go trick or tweet. Go on. Give it to her. I'll leave that to you. Give it to her. Bree, trick or treat. No.

No, you did it with a double. You do it like a five-year-old. No. Hey, thanks for playing, Bree. Thank you. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Farewell.

We'll play tomorrow for $10,000. but you have another chance next to get involved for those Friday's live tickets. C for CoFod, am I right? Oh, yeah. It's Call the Fame of the Day, NG Stadium for Friday's Live this Saturday. It's at Max Capas. The only tickets available with Jess and Duck. Jess and Ducko.

131060. The list is doing the rounds on Reddit. I thought it was a bit of fun. Well, it's something everyone pretends to like, but actually hates. Yeah, they're just trying to keep up with appearances. Yeah. It's the bystander effect. No one's actually being honest,

but you think you've got to say you like it. Yep. Yes. For example, this is a great one. A group of people singing happy birthday to you. No one likes being sung happy birthday. No one likes that at all. Do you know the trend I'm seeing now as well?

A lot of people going, oh, we've been filming the happy birthday from the wrong perspective because, you know, maybe it's your 12 friends or family filming you receiving it and you have to sit there awkwardly. Yeah. People are going, ah, the birthday person should be filming the great. group so you can remember your loved ones singing to me. I like that. I like that more. Yes. That's way better.

Filming everyone. You zoom in on a shy guy with his lack of cast. Yeah. Yeah. And then everyone gets awkward. It puts it back on them. Maybe that's a way to actually enjoy the experience. That's a great idea. Particularly in an office. We do not need to celebrate. Bring your own cake. We don't need to do that. And it's got to be elegant free. Or at a restaurant and the waiter starts singing and it's just uncomfortable. I only like it at restaurants where it's a gimmick.

Like, I've been to one and an opera singer, one of the waiters obviously had either learnt opera, new opera, came out and does a full thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fun. Otherwise, then you've just got a 17-year-olds going, nah, yeah, yeah. And who's going to be the guy who goes, hip-hip, hip, you know what I always want? Who's the hip-hip-hipper? 100%. That's a good one.

I like that. Four small talk and team-building exercises at work. Oh, team-building. No one likes that. Oh, my God. My mom wanted to workshop team-building activities with me the other day. she's like, what do you think of two truths and a lie? And I was like, for her job?

For her job? Like a bit of an icebreaker. Her and your dad. You're going to spice it out. They've been married 40 years. I've got to spice enough stuff. Yeah, two truths in a light. What do you want to do to me?

What? But yeah, team building. I was like, ma, what you should do is get a bag of pipe cleaners. People love this. Every group gets a bag of pipe cleaners. And giggly ice? No, it's who builds the biggest structure. Oh, God.

I get distracted. Yeah, I get distracted. What about this? People have said, I don't pull. leaving this, Jess. I don't think you will either. People pretending to like going to the gym. It used to be you.

Can't relate. Can't relate anymore. Do you know what? I'll say to those people, because now I'm obviously an officianto, you haven't found the thing that works for you. Yeah, that's true. These people are trying to go to, let's, for example, a CrossFit gym. That's not for you. Yep. Go do a Zumba.

I never thought I'd see the day. Go find the thing that works for you. It's exactly right. Yes. Can I give you my one, personally? sort of one, that I think people pretend to like, but actually, hey, macha. Don't tell me for two seconds you like drinking that grass. Mate, similar for me, chai.

Yeah, chai guy is a chry drinker. Yeah, like, try guy. People who look at me in the eye and go, it's Christmas in a cup, it's just cuck. Anyone who says that? The first time I tried a chai was because my girlfriend was like, it's Christmas in a cup. Of course everyone wants Christmas in a cup. Well, everyone wants that. No, it's awful.

I also don't agree with that. What about this one? Gender Reveals. Not fun for anyone, mate. I don't care what sexy baby is. Well, what was the question? What's everyone pretending to like, I like them? For me, Ducco, and I know the same theory is going to apply to this one.

Sona and Steam Rooms. No one, who wants to not be able to breathe in a hot box? Good for the body, though. Good for the system. I don't like a sauna with other people in it. If you can go, if you can book out yourself or like a hot box. with your partner or something like, that's okay? The number of people who go, oh, I just can't wait to get to a sauna this Sunday morning.

Sweat out the sins? That's what they do. They've had a big night. They want to sweat out. No, you're all faking it. The ice bars, I don't think they're popular enough. But even those ones who try and tout the benefits, no. Do you want to listen to my podcast?

I'm doing it from an ice bar. 13, 1060. We've got the co-fodd. This is a great carrot to dangle, double past a Friday's live. Yeah. What do you reckon? Everyone's just pretending to like. Yeah.

And they actually hate. Jess and ducco. 13.1060. What's everyone just pretending to like but actually hates a list doing the round? People saying gyms. People saying small talk and team building. People saying pretending to get along with their in-laws. So funny.

You say that we had a text. 04-8-8-1069. I can't ring because my mother-in-law is listening. But what's something everyone's just pretending to like? My mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is in town. I love her. Everyone loves Robin.

No one's pretending. No one can not like Robin. Melanie, good morning. Good morning. Hi, guys. Hello. Let's add to the list, babe. What do you reckon everyone's just pretending to like?

They actually hate it. Avocado on toast. It's such a millennial thing and I'll pay $6 or $7 when you can get an avow down at it calls for much cheaper and it tastes like nothing. Sorry, Mel, did you? Would you just say $6 or $7 at a cafe for avocado toast? It's way more than that. I was going to say it's like $20.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's ridiculous things. Mel. You know what? I'm a sucker for some Avo on toast, though, Mel. Add an egg. That's such a good one. Thank you, Mel.

I can't like, oh man, Avo. It's one of the great joys. My mother-in-law's in a car, actually. Robin. Robin just heard my shout out. Good morning, Robin. Love you. Thank you for looking after your grandbaby.

Yeah, yeah. So I wasn't part of what Jess was saying. No, no. That was anonymous. Lenise, hello. Hello. What do you reckon everyone was just pretending to like? they actually hate it.

Lemonated eyebrows. Oh, that feels a personal attack to me. My eyebrows and my head it. Yours is a shaped, I thought that was natural. Oh, the glue sticking it. It looks like the lion off Wizard of Oz. They're the vibe you give me. Do you know what's so funny, Lenise,

because don't you reckon we've gone so far from the 90s overplucked, and now we've got these bushy caterpillars. Like, where's the middle ground? Oh, geez. You tell me, I've been waiting for it. I've been waiting for the middle ground for the eyebrow, you know. Okay. Thank you, Lenny.

We go to Jamie on 13, 1060. Jamie, what do you got for us? Oh, well, I pretend to like some perfume, some smells like some people spend a lot of money on perfume. And you're looking at them going, yes, that's great. That smells lovely, but it really smells like crap. Oh, my God, Jamie. I am not a fragrance girlie either. That is a great one.

People go nuts for it. People do spend too much. Too much. On perfume and colognes. God forbid your mum wants Chanel number five. Take out a mortgage. I'm still on the Nicky Webster. Strawberry kisses.

You're keeping that brand afloat. She stopped manufacturing and they went, we can't. This one guy is obsessed. I stockpiled it in the early 2000s post-Sidney Olympics, and I just thought it would catch on. I am losing money. I do. I am bleeding coin.

Joe, hello. Good morning. Joe, yeah. What do you reckon everyone's pretending just alike? I think everybody's pretending to like Secret Santa when you've got to buy a $10 limit to people that you hardly know. 100%. Joe.

I couldn't agree with you more. That's why I am such an advocate for a higher budget. Jess wants a, where do you stand on $100 Secret Santa Presidents, Joe, for colleagues? Oh, probably not. Okay, that's big. 50. Don't do it if you're going to put a dumb limit because you're absolutely right. You're just contributing to landfill.

Exactly. Don't do it if you're going to tight-ass it. I couldn't agree more. Or go too expensive. Just don't do it. Therese. Let's wrap up with you, babe. Good morning.

Good morning. How are you? Yeah, very fantastic. We're adding to this list. What do you reckon everyone's just pretending to like, but they actually hate it? Well, I don't know if it's everyone, but I know it's me for 20 years, my in-law family. Okay. Yeah, we've got someone who's putting their name to it.

Yeah, the in-law family. My husband doesn't like his family. I put up with it for him. But at the end of the day, I am the, they love me. They love me, the best daughter and all that's come into the family. Well, there you go. You're doing a great job of pretending, Terrence. I know, and I faked it for 20 years.

Like, it's brilliant. Thank you. We're going to text on the text on as well, 04-8-8-1069, taking my kids to the park. Oh, that's a great one. Because then you've got to talk to other parents. You're at the park, the trampoline place. Yes, that's a great one.

And then Kelle said, telling people you've never met before a fun fact about yourself. Like, you know, when you're in group settings, oh, my God. All right, Ducco, tell us something about you. And you're like, oh, geez. Hi, I'm Ducco. Well, yeah. Oh, man. I have IBS.

How did you know? That's my one. Jess and Ducco. My wife is a light sleeper, much lighter than me. And she's one of those sleepers. And I learned this from a very early age from when we started dating and her family would all attest to this, that if you share a bed with her, you cannot make. any sudden movements because she will know about it and she gets frustrated. The bed, like, she's a calm, relaxed person, but the bed, she's psycho.

So you're saying any sudden movements? Because they're not often happening in the bed. No, but I'm a wiggily boy. You know what I mean? And I turn, I can turn from side to side, front to back, like, I want to move around. And with all your sort of aches and pains now in your creaky old age of 34. Can't sit me left shoulder, can't see me right shoulder. Shoulder back.

I'm elevated. If you've had a big gym session, the legs are probably a little tender. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a lot of tossing and turning from your side. A lot of tossing and turning. But last, I've gotten way better and not. But last night, sometimes she just gets in those zones where she gets so frustrated that she can't sleep. She builds herself into this like huff, you know?

So we start off, we always read to go to bed. We have the rain sound effects playing. I've got mine. She's got hers. It is just a monsoon in our room. Like, it is so loud. It is so, and Flo's got hers. It is the Puppet-Euguan rainforest.

It is. You've got the monkey. into the corves and birds. You could rob us. We're just all listening to rain. I won't even know. Anytime, well, this is more in the depths of winter. We've come in being like,

guys, how was the rain last night? You're like, I don't know. I've got my rain. I don't actually know what's going on climate-wise. We miss the real rain because we have the fake rain playing. It's a problem, you know? Anyway. So we got that plane.

We finished reading. I'm sort of josing off going to bed. Do you do the thing where, because my husband tries to say, right, lights off because he's finished. He watches stuff. I go, no, no. When you're done, you shut down. When I'm done, I'll shut down.

But do you guys go where? No, it's usually I go first because I'm up earlier. Sure, sure. And then you're happy to just, oh, all over, close my arms. She's got the Kindle, so it's dark, so it's all fine. Take care of myself. That's all okay. But if I stay up reading and she gets to bed, she's like, when are you going to bed?

Oh, my God, we live in parallel life 100%. When are you going to go? When are you going to go down? I'm like, what does me reading my Kindle have to do for you? Yes. I've got warmth zero, brightness zero. I'm straining my own. I sleep me in my little cocoon.

Anyway, I could feel her huffing. I could feel her energy. Then she put her Kindle down and she was trying to sleep. And she goes, and then turns into like, she's like moving the pillows around and I'm like, is everything okay? She's like, I can't sleep. I'm like, okay, well, just, you know, do you want to keep reading or whatever? She starts reading again.

Okay. I fall asleep at this stage. Then I wake up to more huffing and pillow puffing. Like she's hitting the pillow, trying to fluff the pillow out. She's changed pajamas. She's reoriented the room. She got up, she left. I heard her pour a glass of water, have a drink,

do something in the kitchen, come back in. No, now she's going to need to go wee, wee-wee. Don't top off the tank. She's huffing up even more, and I'm there like, is there a problem? And she's like, I just can't sleep. I'm like, okay, well, you know. Something on the mind? Maybe, I don't know, something to do with flow, we're busy right now, yada, yada.

Can't relax. I at this stage, I know the best thing for me to do is pretend I don't exist. As in, do you mean, pretend to keep being asleep? Yep, don't say anything, pretend to keep being asleep. Because if Rolls were reversed right, and she was asleep and I was doing this, she would have killed me already. Okay. Like, she would have absolutely murdered me

for being as loud as she's being, okay? Take yourself to the couch, sort out your nonsense. Exactly. I'm then like a bed. She's flying there too. There was a moment of silence. I literally, like, popped my ears, I think,

and made like a breathing sound effect with my nose, just because I was trying to roll around, whatever, sign of stuff. And she's like, what are you doing? Bites your head off. Well, that's very annoying, Duck. She's trying to relax.

I'm just going to go to another room. And then she's like, gets up and goes to the spare room. I didn't say anything because I was like, this will, yep, okay. I was just breathing. She went to the spare room. Me and Pam had a great sleep. She removed herself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couples usually have to have like a, you know, level 10 blow up. I'm sleeping in the spare room or send you there. No, no, you sniffed. Yeah, I breathe wrong. And then the next, I go to text this morning and she's like, hey, sorry about last night. But your breathing was really annoying. Yes, and Docco.

Happy Wednesday, team. time for us to draw that co-thode. That's right. It's a double pass to Friday's live. Jordan Sparks, Eve, Tiny Temper, Liljohn, Miss Khalifa, pit bull. Yep. And, of course, the Queen of R&B herself, Mariah Carey,

even though she does not acknowledge time. Doesn't exist. She is headlining she will be last. Yeah, so good luck. Someone's going to tap her on the shoulder being like, Mariah. Yeah. It's Mariah's time. Maria, you've got to get up there.

If you want to be in that crowd, it's sold out. Yeah. So sorry, you can't buy tickets. Yeah. Have to get involved with Jess and Ducko. Had great opportunities all morning, had great contributions today as well. Honourable mention to the bloke who was new to the family, who played shy guy dips for the first time.

I think he entered halfway through the game because he thought an appropriate guess was ravioli. Yeah, it was great. Now, if you've never heard shy guy dips, since January 2025, every week it's been cereal. So he had to pivot on the fly. Before that, it wasn't pass for either. It was biscuits.

So to come in and save ravioli. So we'll have to pivot on. the fly goes, ask. I say ravioli, but you've said something about it having some sort of like berry filling. He didn't win. He didn't win. He's not even won the co-fod, but we just wanted to bring it up again. We tried to re-bring that up because it's a bit of fun. Who is winning is Joe. She calls up and said the thing I reckon everyone's just pretending to like, no one's brave enough to say it, is Secret Santa. She wants to see the back of it. You're passionate about your Secret Santa. I love Secret Santa.

You're gift-giving, that's why. I love gift-giving, and I love gift-receiving. Let's be real. My issue is putting a $10 limit with your colleagues. You are going to end up with trash, and it is pointless. The best thing is just drawing you as Secret Channel, the worst thing is drawing Jess. I disagree. I'm so easy.

All you have to do is ask me. Yeah, but then you go, here's my $150 present that I want, where the limit's 40 bucks. I just said my mom. Hey, ma, can I have this for Christmas? How much? What are you talking? Wow, if she gets it today, she signs up.

She gets 15% off. And what's that? It's only, just a couple hundred. But I'll have it forever. When does the, with your parents, you know how they used to buy you lots of Christmas presents, lots of money and stuff? When does it flip over and your presence become cheaper. Your presence became cheaper from them, you know? Oh, see, this could just be a Fanchione thing.

Yeah, yeah. They've not gotten cheaper, but they've gotten... Lesser, just one. Yeah, the quantity, yeah, yeah. So instead of multiple, at a smaller price, bigger at the cumulative price. But my issue is now... None of us like Secret Santa in this room. My issue is now there's a grandbaby.

So we've all been forgotten. Yeah, 100%. Lucia gets it all. Well, that's why you text. That's why I text. Being like, don't forget me. Get me this. Get me this.

Anyway. Anyway, Joe, make sure we call her. She's going to go see Mariah on Mariah's time. More chances tomorrow and Friday as well. We have your last four tickets in town. We are filling Angie Stadium to the brim. Hell yeah. With legendary Jess and Bucco listeners.

You got to get involved in. the show. Badgeons. Big thanks to shorts here today, filling in for Babs. Thank you, shorts. Thanks, guys. It's good to have you, as always. Your legs looking great.

Why, thank you. Hey, where do you stand on Secret Santa? We didn't get you on temperature change. Oh, God. I'd rather quit than buy you a present. I'm easy. No, I don't know about that. I'll send you Molly.

Um, Shiloh, what's on the show tomorrow? It's a great question. Oh, Thursday. Girls, we're going to play an iteration of to be it or not to be it early. Oh, yeah. That's fine. Your hands are not to wash your hands. You've got a club.

What do you want to talk about? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fun. So I'm going to have a dinner with my table captains. We're going to start a club with some rice cookers, maybe. I think you will like the club that I want to begin. You're not invited to the table captain dinner. No, I'm cool with that. But could I be baby in your club?

Yeah, you can be in my club. I look forward to that. I want to start a club. And we're going to play the one second song game. Oh, I love the one second song game. I am very good at that. I look forward to it. You're just more a passenger in that one, but you enjoy it.

I do enjoy it. I do enjoy seeing Babs and Shy Guy. Maybe I'll try and theme it tomorrow as well. I'll see how I go. I guess we could do the Halloween theme next week. It's not Halloween this week. No, but I think we might have to do it tomorrow because we don't play it every week. You're so right.

So we get spooky tomorrow. Ooh, spooky songs. Yeah, that would be tomorrow or the week after Halloween. Okay, okay. Don't ever do it on the week off. I'm sorry, guys, we can't. Well, we have a wordi yoga in other games that we could theme for that week. It's like we're not in charge of the schedule.

It's like pre-ordial. By the gods. Give me a steady of the show. Grab it on podcast. Listen to it wherever. Could be a Westfield. Absolutely. Do you know what?

We have a new little tidbit in our podcast, which is very, very fun. Yeah, that's a bit of fun. So go check it out even if it's just for that. We'll, we'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. Justin'ucko, please hold.

Jessand-Ducco, please hold. Jessand-Ducco, please hold. Jessand-Ducco. That was the Jessand-Ducco podcast. The new Macrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today. Thank you.