Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | I've not wiped your bum for decades

Episode Date: July 11, 2025

Jess had an awkward conversation with her dad, we go through soon to be banned foods and Producer Shy Guy wraps up the week that was with his diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Delicious Maccas breakfast is available till 10 30 a.m. Frecky comes first. Jess and Dago. This is the Jess and Dago podcast. Hey, welcome to the podcast everybody. Wow. Y'all, what do you need to say? I was gonna say wow.

Just what a week, what a day. It was one of those kind of shows, wasn't it? It was. We were chasing our tails a bit. A little bit today. And I blame that. Why is everything my fault just you don't stand up for yourself yeah yeah yeah maybe we've all been I'm tired today I don't know

you guys okay Bab don't feel all right. Okay. Babs, you look tired. Oh, don't tell me I look tired. I'm joking. I'm joking. Put concealer on today, all right? No, you look good today. Did you? You don't usually wear concealer. No, my bags were pretty bad. How come you don't have the Jess and Ducko jumper on today?

Because it's wet. Why is it wet? Okay. Why did you say that aggressively? Can I just say, actually, you don't count because you're not wearing it. Shy Guy got in the lift with Ducko today and he apologized to me. I went, thank you for taking it so seriously. I just thought you were going to bring it up eventually.

We've not had one apology from that. Cause I got mine on this morning and it had baby vomit all down the shoulder. And I went, oh, I can't wear that. No, mine's wet because I washed it and it didn't dry. I think Shy Guy, you've been the most, oh no, you're pretty, you're pretty good. But Shy Guy, I think you missed. It's a comfy jumper. I think I missed one.

It is a great jumper. Yeah. I would wear it every week. I think I missed one. I would like to update though, I want to get a new team jumper just cause. Alright. But also, we're not coming out of winter yet I guess. We need merch. We do need our merch. I know we do need merch. Jess and Ducker. I keep seeing other podcasts having it. Fuck yeah, that's a great idea. We could easily just get a plain hoodie off like the Iconic or something and we could brand it. Do you know what I like? What's that one? A.S. color those hoodies So comfy they're used a lot as like the base aren't they for a lot of brands to brand But Angus has apparently there's a S color shops and he just goes and comes home with three different colors

Oh gorgeous fleecy Really nice and it's a nice cut. Yeah. But they're just generic. Oh, yeah, sick. Yeah, yeah, great. Let's do that. That we can easily brand.

We could get like, do you like that sort of cream colour? That like beige? Cream is dangerous for two of us with young children in the house. I feel like we- We get darker then. We get darker. Dark might be safer. Yeah, we get like the colour of the show, poo.

Brown. I was gonna say this teal is a bit bold. Oh, we get like the colour of the show, poo. Brown. I was gonna say this teal is a bit bold. Oh, blue, yeah, yeah. But I mean we've gone from blue, like we already have blue. Yeah, dark blue. I'm amazed by colour, but what are we gonna get on it? Do we leave Babs in charge? Would you like to be in charge of the merch?

Sure. Except don't, you go back with a fucking rusty three quarter jean. Actually, yeah, maybe not. With that weird collar that you seem to enjoy. What? What weird collar? Oh, there's one of those sweaters you wear that has like a weird collar. It's one of your cell phone jobs.

Right on Babs Day. No, you can be in charge of getting the jumpers. I reckon Babs, she's got a finger on the collar. I reckon we can conquer it. Hundo. Yeah, because we'll say we're giving it away. Am I not going to give it away? But I conquered, but I conquered Shy Guy's present.

Like, why can't we conquer his first show? Well, no, that was different because it was a 30th. So when it's ever a 30th, we're allowed, the company puts in, like they did for yours and for mine. I conquered the salt and vinegar chips can't we conquer? Well, no that was different because it was a 30th So when it's ever a 30th or allowed the company puts in like they did for yours and mine I conquered the salt and vinegar chips when I challenged you to the chip off. Oh, that was content though. Yeah, I suppose we're wearing this every day. These hoodies are not gonna be cheap. Yeah, how much are they? How much are they? How much are the hoodies? The real McCoys are expensive.

Yeah, yeah, $65. Do they put the... Branding on it? No. So we're going to have to then go to like a embroidery company. Hey man, how much would LSKD, how much were these? These are like $59 each and they gave them to us very kindly. We didn't conquer it.

Yeah, we got to perform. But what I'm saying is, you know. Yeah, we were going to partner with ASCOLA. They won't get us. They won't get us. You don't reckon? We can try. Babs can always slide in.

Yeah, I can. Hey guys, Babs here. They're like, are you, are you baby cat? You produce a hot sausage? You can have whatever you want, baby cat. Hey, we can get Justin's, like, her trunks. Trunks? What are trunks?

Like swimmers? No, like underwear. Oh, that's fun. You can have the duck man on your knob. I don't like that style. Just on the band I thought we were going to get. I don't like that style either. I don't like that style.

Sometimes if I'm out of undies I wear Angus's. I don't. Do you really? Yeah, I wear Angus's. I don't like that style. Just on the band I thought it was a good one. I don't like that style either. Sometimes if I'm out of undies I wear Angus's. Do you really? Yeah, we in Shigeo wear Angus's. One time I had poorly timed my wash and I pulled out a pair of his jocks.

I went, these are, it's because of that pouch. Imagine having Jess on your Johnson. Imagine having Babs on your balls. Imagine having Shigeo in your shaft. Imagine having Duck on your doodle. This is, what was Jess again? Jess on your balls. That's a Shaggo in your shaft. That's a duck on your doodle. What was Jess again? Jess on your Johnson. Jess on your Johnson. This is working. It really does. All right. Babs, could you work on that also? Thank you so much. That's his face just down the bottom part. Just send them a story. Oh, you've got a big weekend this weekend. You

drive. You implying that I have a tiny penis I said enough on air Funniest thing that a group of guys once came up or two guys on a group two of them No short came up and said to me once I'm gonna saw me in a bar. They're like Like what I'm just telling his other mate, he's has a little penis like us. Thanks for breaking the stigma around it. I was like, no worries boys. I was like, that was the strangest interaction I've ever had. You just don't know how you'll connect with someone.

That makes them feel less alone. He's like a little like us. And he's proud of it. Talks about it on the radio. Oh, that's fantastic. Hilarious, right? What people latch on to. You're the face of. I'm the face of tiny peens. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's very funny. Oh, very good. But no, what I was going to say is, B Weekend for Babs this weekend. She on Sunday has the suicide drive. Oh god. Fuck's sake. Yeah, but she's only just dropping him. She's not gonna park and go in so it's okay.

Yeah, and then find a car. That's grim AF. I can't believe people agreed to that. I know, you're driving. Obviously if you've missed it, Babs is taking her boyfriend to the airport because he's going to Contiki without her. But she's taking him two and a half hours to the airport, one way. Sorry, Sunday Arvo. That'll be a five hour return trip.

No, it'll be Sunday morning. Oh, regardless, Sydney traffic. Get stuffed. I know, but it just feels weird to just be like, where's the train? Why don't you get the train down? You'll be punished in this stator. Why don't you get the train with him?

Morgan and I can drive you back. Cause we're coming back on Sunday. You might see me on the side of the road having a breakdown. We're gonna be in Sydney on Sunday. We. We. We.

That's not if Darko do that. Which is Calpool Shy Guy? When are you going down? I don't know. I need to look at the invite and then work out my day from there. I need to work out my check in. That's a, that's a.

I want some alone time. I do want to be alone. Babs, that's a nice idea. Why don't you do that? You're not on your own. Just in the back seat. Yeah, let's go back next to Flo. Oh, that's a nice idea. What do you do that you're not on your own? Yeah, we sit back next to Flo. Oh, that's nice. Nothing will help you smile than a baby in the back.

You know? That's true. Does Morgan sit in the back? Nah, we sit in the front. Yeah, yeah, we just leave. Well, I don't know if you ever do this. Our mate, like the partner always sits in the back with the baby while the hubby drives.

Yeah, my friends, they sit in the back. Uh, we did do that only because Lucia hated the cops. Oh, we've never done that. We would try anything. Just to keep it right. Entertain, not for, oh, all right, man, if you're nervous, you sit in the back, you do whatever you want,

but we were doing it to like, I'm trying to distract her. Distract you, that makes sense. Hold things over her head, that sort of thing. Hold her hand, whatever it means. She just always liked the car. That's so lucky. We got her into it very young though,

like when we drive around a lot. Maybe we didn't expose her to it enough Yeah But you could live near enough shops where you can walk So you know what that's partly why we chose this suburb because one of our friends was like not putting a kid in the car Is amazing to go to a park or a shop or a cafe, which it is It's great. But now my kid isn't exposed to car. We are driving in September five hours We've got a wedding and Angus wants to take Lucia and I'm like, nah, can't your parents

look after her? I'm like, I don't want her to come. See, like when we drive to Queensland next week, I can't wait, Flo will just sleep. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, it's wild. And can you listen to your own music or podcast? Yeah. She's fine with it.

So I try and put podcasts on on my own music and Lucia screams. We might start with music just to sort of like soothe it and then we can put a podcast on. It's funny I try and listen to our Radio Nerdy podcast Game Changers. She loses it. Good on her. I fucking lose it. I cannot listen to it and then certain music she's like ah ah. Doesn't like it.

Screams over it. Didn't hate Sean Kingston yesterday, funnily enough. Really? Beautiful girls. I literally text Angus being like no um, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, me love. Why'd you have to throw back? Why'd you have to throw back? Because it's a thing.

Why'd you have to throw back? The home away from. So it's funny to find what they do enjoy and what they are very vocal about hating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Babs, go sit in the back and work out what songs flow like. You can party with Flo. Yeah. That drive home is going to be so grim.

It's going to be so fun. Oh, great attitude. Yes, tell yourself that. So Sunday, pray for Babs, valet. You know what we should do? Everyone get Guzman on Sunday in Babs' honor. I was thinking about it. I was like, preemptively like, what am I going to want to do?

I still need you to teach me what to order, probably, because I hate it, but. It'll be like in Lord of was like, preemptively like, what am I going to want to do? I still need you to teach me what to order properly, because I hate it, Babs. It'll be like in Lord of the Rings, Return of the Ring, and the third one where Aragorn runs to Sauron, he turns to everyone, he goes, for Frodo. We'll go, for Babs. Oh my God, how did you not make that reference

with Cameron Munster in game three State of Origin? That's what they were all doing. Oh yeah. For Munster. For money. And they lift it. And we, didn't we just? So we'll do that for Babs.

Didn't we ever just win the origin? A hundred percent. We'll do that for you, Babs. Okay. I'll pay an extra dollar for lettuce in your honor. That's ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. And the biggest drive for the Kona too. Well, yeah, that's also why I'm also like, just testing it out.

Yeah. I'll just open her up on the highway. Okay. This would be a good one. I know you've thought about it. Music. What are you listening to on the drive home? Well I thought about it and one of the boys jokingly said, you should listen to Coldplay.

I was like, that's actually not funny because I will not be doing that. What's the joke? It's depressing. Oh, it's depressing. Gotcha. Probably some good, you know. Lord's album? You know what I'm feeling I should listen to on the way home is some like Slay Queen music.

Charlie XCX, bit of Brat Summer Miss Independent it's gonna be a feminine an an an sense. That's a fucking worse song, but Oh that's Charlie XEX. Feminominon. Yeah, what's the Charlie XEX? Don't argue with her on the feminine side. Maybe it's chapel. Yeah, sorry. You think you're Von Dutch? I don't know. I don't wanna go down this rabbit hole. Girl's so confusing. Throw some more possible options.

Just tell me what else happened. Party for you? Just go back to fucking Fix You. You know how we made Morgan's Push playlist? Should we make Babs' solo drive Depresso? Hilarious. And we can all fat up a song. Fuck all we drive.

Drive and cry playlist. Drive and cry. Macy Gray. I tried to say goodbye and I choke. Yeah. And then walking away Craig David. Yeah, these are great. These are good ideas.

Yeah. Man, I'm a survivor Destiny's Child. Oh, yes. Let's look up the best because it's sort of like a breakup. It is. You'll be chasing cars. Snow Patrol. Oh, yeah, that's a good song.

We're two. Is that the be chasing cars, snow patrols. Oh yeah, that's a good song. We're two, uh, uh. Is that the Grey's Anatomy song? Yeah. I'm just looking at a break up, okay, I'm gonna break up mix. Oh, a bit of Taylor and Coldplay Fix you's in there. Supercut Lord, you're gonna love this one. So you're not doing like, okay, well you're away,

you do whatever and I'll do whatever. No. Just wanted to clarify. Dean Lewis is in there. Oh, waves. It comes and goes. Oh, you know who's in there? Sabby Cat's in there. Oh, well then.

Sabby and Babby. My Tears from Taylor Swift. Half a Man, Dean Lewis again. Am I dramatising this or is it actually like? No, it's an absolute betrayal that he's going with a friend on Contiki. Oh, well it is. I hate it. Jethro.

Tinted Be Gone. Oh, there's one's so pitch perfect. I freaking love Kelly. Oh, the OG idol. Yeah, that's good. Well, yeah, that's what I'll be doing on the way home. And then a bit IGAF. I don't give a fuck if he's leaving me. That's right. I'm fine.

Bit of ruler. We made this worse for you. I don't know. Nah, next week's gonna be... We're supporting her feelings. Next week's gonna be a fun week on air. I reckon I'm going to actually be fine. I think I'm going to be super busy and I'm not even going to... Just quickly, fair meeting.

Babs isn't listening. I'll invite her over Monday, you invite her over Tuesday, you invite her over Wednesday, Shaggy. I'll do Thursday, you do Friday. So she's always pre-empted. She's always got someone. Well, I'm actually thinking about going and staying with my parents for a couple of days. That's nice.

Oh, next week, during the week? Maybe not during the week, but the week after. Because you have to drive to work. Yeah. Yeah. You can do the show. You can do the show from the farm. The warm embrace of Simo and Daniel.

We should all do the show from Babs' parents place one day. I love that. Is your bedroom untouched from your youth? No. In the barn. She's up in a barn. Sorry, in the barn. Annoyingly, my barn has now been occupied by my sister. Oh, bitch. Which one?

I had the best room in the house. I had two beautiful big windows. Oh, that was really big. Hey, your crying windows. And now my sister, yeah, my sister. Did you cry back then? Oh, yeah. Remember that was COVID uni era. That's right. No, I just read books and ate lots of food and bed.

Did you have like the seat under the window? No. Oh, you didn't have that? My desk was. Did you sit at your desk and read? No, it was when I was doing uni, so I used to do work. Oh, your homework. Yeah, my homework and I used to study comms.

Communications. I couldn't guess that. I remember I studied communications for a bit and that's the one that I went fuck this and deferred but then didn't defer properly and paid for the degree. That's right! Pure daco magic, that one. Oh, do you ever think about how much money? 12 grand.

I paid $12,000 for the fucking degree that I did not do. Oh my god. But if you paid for it, surely you should get a piece of paper. Like an honorary receipt. You get a receipt. You get a receipt. Frame the receipt. It says here you paid for communications, but I can't see a bachelor anywhere.

No, no, I do it. No, the receipt, you know, like when you go into a lawyer's office and all their diplomas sit behind them? You just need that behind your desk at home. There it is. I paid for it. Look at it. It's right there.

I currently have a diploma in acting. A diploma in acting. That gets you nothing. I have an undergraduate in business management. And Babs has a diploma in acting. A diploma in acting. That gets you nothing. I have an undergraduate in business management. And Babs has a degree in communications. And Shy Guy? Have you got a radio thing?

Ah, journalism and broadcasting. Yeah. Journalism is one thing I never wanted to do. Isn't it funny? My mum was trying to push me down journalism. Oh, it's just something. I can see you being a journalist actually. Yeah.

But I can't imagine maybe like a print one, but the reporters, like the news journalist, no way. I can see you doing that. I'm not confrontational enough. That's turning out to be a court house. I couldn't put a mic. No, but you don't need to be like in a, oh, I suppose depending on the type of journalist you're doing.

My friends are crime reporters and putting a mic in front of someone's face who's walking out the court steps, I don't know, I couldn't do it. It's such a skill because they're always like often walking backwards too. They are. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Maybe seeing dad do it for so many years, I was like, fuck that. That is a, that is a personality trait. It's bizarre. Yeah. We never want to do that. Did you do it to get like the hose put on him?

Yeah. Yeah. Door slammed in his face. He could put in a headlock once and like nearly punched in the face. Cause you don't have security, do you? No. No, no, no, you don't. No. Yeah. He, um, the camos would have to like sort of protect you. Yeah.

One time the case cameraman got punched. Yeah. My friend door stops like, and then the other side of it is my friend door stops the victims of the tragedy. Yeah. And it's like, I can't knock on someone's door and on the worst day of your life. Can you talk about it? I just, I just, it's not for me.

No, no. Yeah. We like to come on air and just talk about do that. It's not for me. No, no. Yeah. We like to come on air and just talk about stupid stuff. We're like the Jack of the Today Show. That's our show. If you had to pick one- Let's get him on the show.

Let's interview Jack. He's doing the rounds. Yeah, we should chat to him. I mean, I feel like it's a niche us thing, but let's pre-record it. Might just be a podcast chat. Might just be a podcast chat. Yeah, yeah.

But Jack, we feel connected to you. You'll be like, who are you guys? No, Jack follows me on Insta. Hello, we've got an email. Yeah, yeah, I'll message him. I connected to you. You'll be like, who are you guys? No, Jack follows me on Instagram. Hello, we've got an email. Yeah, yeah. I'll message him. I'll slither in. Jackie boy. We needed it. That's because he's like, sort of like, you know, I do channel line stuff. We're kind of colleagues, I guess is how you could put it.

You are colleagues. Yeah, yeah. I guess you could put it. I keep getting telling, you know, like how I don't do anything properly for any company I work for. Yes. Do you mean admin wise? Yeah, yeah. Channel line keeps emailing me to do like a review on the company, like what we did here, like a pulse check shit. And like you're overdue. I'm like, I am a casual... Oh, it's almost not anonymous. They know you haven't done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm like, I'm like a casual employee at best. Like I'm not doing that. But don't you love that they want your opinion? Yeah. They want to make the

place better for them. I've never been into an office. Like I do. Yeah. Yeah. Bizarre. Are you going to do it? No. Are they going to keep hassling you? Maybe. I mean, I've never done one here. So why would I do one there? You know what you should do? You know how when we have a sick day or annual leave year, you don't know how to work the system. So boss Jase has to do it. Send him the survey being like, Jase, can you do this for me? Can you do this for me please? Yeah. Have we logged our holidays going up? Uh, I have. I don't know about you. I logged paternity leave.

Good luck on the Friday. Amen. Good morning. Good to be here. It is wonderful to be here. We have a huge Friday show for you. Friday 11th of July, what a day. July 11th. July 11th. Rolls off the tongue. If it be your birthday, happiest of birthdays to you. Yeah, happy birthday to the July 11th out there. You know there are some dates that just, they just feel good. They feel round. They feel solid. They feel grounded. July 11th. Yeah, July 11th. Feels nice. It does feel nice. It feels tall. It does. I thought you might be averse if it feels tall, but look at you, appreciating. Yeah, yeah. I'm not afraid. You're not afraid.

I'm never afraid. You just love love, baby. You embrace. You know me. You know me. How are we all this morning? Fantastic, thank you. How are you?

Well, I was telling you a little bit as we were coming in, I was like, I'll tell you when we get the mics on. Yes. But why don't you chat to you and Babs about something that my wife did yesterday with no consultation. So there was a big stint of you being on your own with the baby. Yeah. Because Morgan, having a little bit of girl time, a little bit of me time.

She had a four hour hair appointment yesterday. And to be honest, four hours, is that all it was? Because that feels short to me. Maybe it was longer. For a girl with long blonde hair. And she got it blonded and then she got it cut. Now this is what I want to run through you two, because I know you two famously thin hair.

Guess how much she got taken off her hair? Without telling me, I didn't know. So when you say taken off cut. Cut. So she went in for a cut. Yep, centimetres. Guess how many centimetres she got taken off off the fact you've brought it to us. I'm gonna assume it's dramatic Yeah, 12 10 god damn 10

She had long hair. I know I go why did you because I liked her long hair I said, why did you take it all off? Like it looks fine now, but like it was you know But fine is not an adjective any lady wants to hear when it comes to a new I think I'm sure guys. So what do you think? I said fine. I mean that was it. Yeah, I mean she said I'm did she have 10 centimeters to spare. Yeah. Well, cuz it's it's yeah when she wears that high pony It's giving Ariana. Well, she said the high pony was trying to hurt her head It was it was so heavy cuz it has so thick and then flow the child was getting stuck in her head Do you know what famously a lot of women do cut the bob or do at least do a big chop because the baby gets very grabby.

Yeah, that's the shit that's happening. Very grabby. I was like, I just didn't expect that. She came home and I was like, wow, like 10cm. She's like, will it come back? She's like, yeah. I was like, when's it coming back? Because her hair is naturally relatively straight. She doesn't heat treat it that much. It was straightened yesterday,'t heat treat it that much. It was straightened yesterday, but I think it'll get a little bit like... A little bit wavy, there's a bit of texture to it.

But she doesn't muck around too much with her hair in terms of straighteners, curlers, all that. So it probably will grow back very quickly. Unlike Babs and I, we constantly have tools on her. We've got pills and lotions and things. Well, scarecrow out there is trying her hardest. Scarecrow's... Hey, how's that? Would you ever cut off 10 centimetres, Babs, of your hair? I never have had 10 centimetres to be able to cut off.

If Babs cut 10 centimetres off, she'd have your hair cut. And that is not, it looks great on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably won't suit her. I reckon you could suit the duck-hair haircut. Babs, that scalp stimulating scrub I gave to you, how's that working out for you?

Yeah, good, I think. I've been using it, so. Is it thickening up? Yeah, good I think. I've been using it so. Is it thickening up? Yeah, it feels thicker. It's just still a bit crazy. Crazy. Hey, it's always an impossible battle you're fighting girl. Can I circle back to a comment you made?

Yeah. Ducco, you said without consultation. Yeah, well. Did you want a little hey hun, be prepared. She told me. I'm coming back bald. She told me I'm getting a cut short. I said, oh, okay, cool.

But Morgan never goes crazy with hair. And then she came back. I was like, oh. You thought it's a trim. She goes, She told me. I'm coming back bald. She told me I'm getting a cut short. I said, okay, cool. But Morgan never goes crazy with hair. And then she came back. I was like, wow. You thought it's a trim. She goes, I told you. I go, you didn't tell me you were going to get half your hair chopped off. And it is no disrespect to my hairdresser friends out there.

I get looked after myself very well. I would be very cautious to throw stones. But it is a bit of a thing. You go in for a trim and they take off more than you anticipated. You've got to be very, very clear. Well, whoa. Wait. I'm just here for split ends.

Morgan said that the hairdresser was like asked her like five times, are you sure? Oh, this is a good hairdresser. Are you sure? You're not gonna have buyers regret. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't stick this back on if you don't like it. You can fix a color, you can't fix a cash.

Yeah, exactly. Easily. So it makes me just go, well, I'm just going to do something out of my hair and not consult her, you know? Whoa, whoa. Okay. Now you've got two ladies in your love you're meant to consult. Yeah.

Women are getting new photos taken soon. Well. You, don't do what you did in COVID. Is that what you're thinking? Me and Shaga could get the boy shaves. You're going to do a Britney. Leave Britney alone. Babs told me yesterday, you should shave your head.

I was like, all right. Babs, do not encourage that. I kind of want to see him do it. I'm not going to lie. He was on a billboard shave for two and a half years. Go look at the picture. It doesn't photo as well as it looks in person. It doesn't. Even though like your scalp is a decent shape. Yeah, thanks. It just, you should be proud of that head of hair. Yeah. No, look, I won't do anything drastic just yet, but- I better be consulted. I said to Morgan, I It just, you should be proud of that hair to hair. Yeah, no, look, I won't do anything drastic just yet, but- I better be consulted. I said to Morgan, I said, you'd be warned, but she knows there's only things I can do

with my hair are the same cut I've always had or shave it because of my cowlicks. She's like, and I've seen them both, so do whatever you want. I went to the barber one day, I was like, man, I just want to be different, I'll show him a photo of someone. He's like, um, yeah, your hair can't do that. Mate, that's the classic, I go in with a picture of Sydney Sweeney. I want to look like this, but you don't look like that. So the haircut's not going to help. Yeah, we try.

Oh, we try, but hair. Hair. Oh, it rules us, doesn't it? It does. It's either thick or thin, you know? Thick or thin, long or short. You can't control it. You can't. Is your hair thick, Shagara? Is it? Let me stick my hand in. I can't tell with guys. Maybe look at the back.

Oh yeah. That's product. You just went right through it. But you can still work your fingers through it. It's decent. It's decent, absolutely. I don't think it's thin. No, I don't think it is.

Yeah, that product's working overtime, isn't it? It's just at the top. We saw his Get Ready With Me video. He puts it in there. The pomade. You want pomade, you warm it. It is pomade, is how you say it. I puts it in there. The pomade. You want pomade? You want pomade? You warm it.

I know what you say it. I thought it was pomade. Pomade sounds funny. I'm not great at pronouncing things. Hey, big show though. Yes, we do have your diary coming out. We have Alpha Box, your chance at $10,000. We've got Forgotten Bangers.

Not forgotten. Friday Bangers. Go Friday. They're Friday Friday Bangers. That's right. Darko had a craving for a particular Friday song. So we've all tried to buffer that out around him. Go jump on there and get Rebecca Black off the floor, because she is deep down on the floor.

I thought it could be like a Nikki Webster moment. To be fair, not zero. I thought this could be around. We have our first zero. Who does want to hear... There's still time. I don't want to hear that song. I just thought it'd be a funny moment. Now you got excited because Strawberry Kisses won that week. So you got excited.

I can get another young diva on the air. Young diva, that's what I wanted. Anyway, up next we have No Dumb Thought Friday. That's right, get involved in the show. You could win the call of fame. Those little niggly thoughts that you worried you're going to get judgment. No judgment here.

13 10 60 if you have any, or text the text line 048881069 Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. There's no such thing as a dumb... thought? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You've heard. There's no such thing as a dumb question. Well here on the JD program, we'll entertain thoughts as well. Absolutely we will. 131060 if you have one one you could win the call of fame by getting involved.

You can. Get your voice on the air. Yeah we love our dumb thoughts, they get involved. You can text the text line 04 8 8 1 0 6 9. Absolutely you can. You can always do that. I've got a quick one just to start off with. Please.

I was having a thought yesterday when I was playing with my dog because she was getting jealous because I was playing with my child. And Pam, my dog, brought me a toy. And I thought, do you think she brings this to me because it's her favourite toy or she brings this to me because she thinks it's my favourite toy? Absolutely. She thinks it's your favourite toy. She's like, oh, daddy loves this one.

I'll bring him this one. That's why the look on a dog's face when you throw the toy, you think this is a fun little game. She thinks, he's just thrown away my gift. Ah, I'm giving you a gift. I'm giving you a gift, Daddy. And you piff it, thinking he's a bit of playtime. She's like, well, I'll go get it for you again. I keep doing it. She's like, what are you doing?

Sorry, Daddy, you've accidentally thrown it away. Let me go fetch it for you again. They're not playing fetch. They don't like fetch at all. They just continuously are bringing you a gift. Right, it's a gift. He's bringing me gifts. That's like when my dog greets me very friendly.

Sometimes it'll lick on the face. Sometimes it'll lick on the mouth. Is he kissing me or can he smell my lunch? Oh. And he's like, there's food here. There's gotta be, yeah, it can smell where food was. And because their scent receptors are so heightened, he actually can't work out, oh, there's no roast chicken there.

Yeah, it was there. I just had a roast chicken for lunch. Yeah, yeah, it was in there somewhere. It was in there at one point. And then when you kiss a dog, do they think you're licking them? Like is that your human way of licking them when you kiss a dog? Because my dog, your dog, she'll hump anything that moves. But my dog will only lick face. My dog's never just come up and licked my leg.

Whereas if he's lying down and I'll lean over, I'll kiss his head, his body, his leg, his rump. Wherever I can get to, I'll give him a little muah. Erin then pan will just lick my leg or my arm or something. She will. See, I thought, does Gianni know, no no, kisses are only for face. Maybe Gianni is purely just- Why is this idiot kissing my rump? Yeah. Maybe Gianni's purely just like, there this idiot kissing my rump? Yeah.

Maybe Johnny's purely just like, there was roast chicken here in the face. There was roast chicken there and I'm getting- Oh, that's what I want. Must be so hard to be a dog in my house because the smells, the food. And the amount of stuff that's getting spilled on the ground. And we've got those floorboards, old floorboards.

The amount of food in the cracks, man. Lucky you're getting that thing knocked out. I can see one soba noodle that fell in there. How often do you fantasise about getting it? It's still good. Well when I finish my Soba noodle salad and then I go I want more, I go there's that bit there. Angus comes home to you sucking the floor.

What's she? I'm not even going to bother. I thought you thought there was a worm in your house. That's right it was a Pad C U noodle. A Pad Thai noodle. Hey you know who's going to dump food today? Who's not normally dumb Queen of Queen Babs

She never admits. Yeah to having silly little thought she doesn't she must be feeling good today. Hi babs Morning I just couldn't really thinking about how weird cars are Recently and then everyone has a car and that like you just rock up to a car park and there's like all these lines to park your car You just kind of like leave it there. Yeah and come back to it It's like everyone's ever it's important to everyone, but everyone's got their own one, but no one cares about anyone else's Yeah, but it's just like a weird concept. I don't know. That was my dumb thought I love that you've parked your car. Yeah. Yeah, we were at a shopping center or something when this phenomenon hit

Yeah, I was just like it's really futuristic and weird. It's like having an iPhone, like everyone has one. Yeah, I actually know what you're saying. People sitting on a bus right now are going, not everyone, babs. You wanna get, don't get that bus listeners offside. Sorry, Paul and Tim. Anyway.

Paul and Tim are just out here trying to, you know, scrounge around, not everyone has their dad to buy them cars, babs. I bought my own car. Oh, yeah. Scround around, not everyone has their dad to buy them cars, Babs. I bought my own car. Geez, way to be unrelatable, Babs. Paul and Tim just trying to get to work on the bus. Sorry, can we please just back up a little bit? No, no, you're done.

I think your mic's broken. Yeah, yeah. Look who's calling you unrelatable, Babs. I know. How's your jacu going? Everyone has a car, not everyone does. Hey, there's meant to be no animosities and dumb thoughts, we're all meant to be dumb together. Well, be very careful using the word everyone.

She's never going to get involved again now. I'm expired, yep that's it. Jess and Ducko. Right now, Ducko. I'm expired, yep that's it. Jess and Ducco. Right now, Ducco. I had one of the great examples yesterday. You know how our boss always tries to remind us, guys, you know, most people go on about their day, go on about their morning, they might only be half listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because, you know, the average person, it's busy time in the morning, getting themselves ready for the gym or for work, maybe getting children ready for school, whatever it might be. They might only be half listening. So just keep that in mind. Yeah. One of the great examples of that, Ducco and how it's led to some confusion and your reputation possibly being tarnished.

Goodness me. Cause you've said here something your dad got confused by. Papa Fart calls me yesterday, Ducco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also check in and then goes, what's this I hear about Ducco licking feet? What? We've said a lot of things, but I've never said that on the radio. My first thought, Ducco, and I articulated that.

Did you kind of go, did he say that? Yes. We obviously talk a lot into these big sticks and we've been together for five years and it is amazing. Rice cookers and parents alike, the things they remember from a long time ago that have been buried for us or maybe genuinely forgotten. What's this I hear about Ducco licking feet? I'd just genuinely forgotten. What's this I hear about Dukko licking feet? And I went, what? You could have really thrown me out of the bus. You could have gone, I loves it dad.

I could have. I could have. But. It's a huge feet licker. One, I don't want to confuse my father and two, I'll defend my friend. Thank you. Thank you. Licking feet.

I don't think he's ever gone on the record and said licking feet dad. What have you heard? When was this? You know, my parents are big listeners of the show. They've got the listener app on most mornings. I don't think he's ever gone on the record and said, licking feet. Dad, what have you heard? When was this? Yeah. You know, my parents are big listeners of the show. They've got the listener app on most mornings. Yolanda gave me the YouTube video to watch to get my snow chains on the tires. In the moment, she heard you talking about snow chains in New Zealand.

Sent you the YouTube link. They're listening. Yep. But my mum actually nailed that. That's what you needed in that moment. And she provided, so dad, I'm going, what? You're not hard of hearing. What's going on? Licking feet. He goes, or was it toes?

Ducko. Hang on. That's you. Hang on a minute. Ducko. Hang on a minute. Ducko. Hang on a minute. When, no, no, there was something about toes. Wasn't he licking toes? I said, before I remembered who I was on the phone with, I went, no dad,

that's me. And he went, what? He goes, was it licking toes? I said, technically it's sucking toes. And Angus doesn't like it as much as I do. He went, what's that about? I said, oh, well, it kind of came up on the show that I... It's come up a few times over the years. It's come up. And it hasn't come up recently, has it? No.

I don't know what he's heard. He must have heard a podcast or something. This is why I say to you, half listening, we speak. I'll put to five times a week, my dad, we text pretty much every day, but he'll call me on his drive home from work or I'll call him, you know. If the kid's done something funny. We talk a lot. The fact that he's just going, I love it how his tacos are weird, how he's looking feet or sucking toes.

You have to go, no, Papa, no, Papa, that was me. So one of the great conversations of a Thursday afternoon, me explaining to my father my sexual fetish. Did you tell him that it was a boudoir thing? So I said, oh, it's come up. Cause I told Ducco, I don't mind my toes being sucked. And he went, all right, we can leave it there. He was happy to discuss you licking feet. Oh, that's hilarious. Spotlight had to be shone back on his little girl, his little princess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He ended the phone call. But when the spotlight had to be shone back on his little girl, his little princess, he ended the phone call. What people don't realise is that when you do this job, apparently 28th of May was the last ho chat according to the Shy Lord. Okay, so like almost a month ago or whatever. That's still. A month and a bit. What people don't realise is when you do this show is you say so much and you do reveal

a lot, like you talk about your lives so much in detail, you kind of do forget that your parents or your in-laws or whatever are listening, people who really know you. Because the rice cookers that I guess we meet out and about reveal stuff about themselves to us. So it does feel level. Whereas the dynamic- I guess, we just overshare. Not what I think I'm saying is no rice cookers that made me feel bad about that. Whereas the, the, the inquisitive nature of my father's interrogation made me did, made me contemplate what I share on this program to what I'm into. But also he might've gone, me too, Jessica.

That's where you get it from the great bonding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's genetic. It's genetic. It's genetic. It's genetic. It's genetic toe sucking. What's your technique, Dad? What do you like doing?

So my mum came up to me and was like, is Sharkite actually massive? Like down there? And are you actually tiny? She's like, I've not wiped your bum for a deckhanger. I've not seen it. 30 seconds. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10k alpha bucks on Hit Alpha Bugs. 30 seconds, 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

Cannot use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, say pass. We'll come back of course if there's time. We are playing for $10,000. Our player today, the one and only, we have Maddie. Hello, Maddie. Hi Maddie, how's your Friday morning treating you so far? Yeah, good. I'm on the way home from work on the way home. What's your night shift? What do you do?

I work in juvenile justice Okay Justice so not that interesting It does sound interesting. It sounds like when people are in need, the youth, Maddie is there to help and support. Yeah, sure.

Let's go with that. Don't talk yourself down Maddie, come on. You're an important member of this society. I reckon you're a vital cog. In the wheel. Look, it pays the bills many might not love this job so that's why we need to get her 10 let's get her a new job what do you want to spend the money on I would love to get a car and go on one of

those like safaris with elephant nearly tips the car elephant nearly tips the car if I don't come home I don't come home this is this is someone this is someone who's seen some stuff. Who's like, just get me an elephant. Maddie sounds jaded. Let's get Maddie. Let's get a smile on that doll. Well, how good is this for Maddie, Ducco? Her letter is S. Oh my goodness.

For Safari. You can't write this stuff. Come on. You ready, Maddie? Yeah. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter S. We need will start after the first question. Starting with letter S, we need you to name a technology brand. Samsung. A country.

Ah, Simbaway. That's wrong. A ball sport. Soccer. An athlete. Pass. A dog breed. Ah, Shepherd.

That's also wrong. Cartoon character. Pass. Do you want to keep going or? Pass. A dog breed? Ah, a shepherd. That's also wrong. Cartoon character. Um, oh, pass. Do you wanna keep going, or have you had a... Come on, Maddie, play it to the buzzer!

A board game? Um... Snakes and ladders, nice! A condiment? Uh, sauce? Yes. That was awful! Oh my god, I got one chance and I blew it.

Yeah, it's embarrassing for you. If you didn't say Zimbabwe, if you said Samoa or Singapore, I think you would have actually been an okay player. To be fair, I reckon there's the most countries in the world starting with their Spain, Sweden, Serbia. There's a lot. Look, if you said one of those- The plays shouldn't work in juvenile justice.

I'm not a good influence, clearly. What's wrong with you? Or, or you shouldn't work overnight and come and play a quiz game under time pressure. To be fair to you Maddie, of the, you know, let's say a hundred people who have played this game coming off of night shift, zero of them have ever won $10,000.

Yeah, none. None. Well, that's good stats, I love that. Yeah, so you don't have to feel bad. You're the only one who's lost it on question two, but. Yeah. You know. I just suck as lost it on question two, but you know. I just suck as much as everybody else. It's really comforting.

Oh, Maddie, come on. Hold your head up high, Mad. I don't want to make Maddie smile. $100 to spend online at Platypus Shoes. I don't even know if that's gonna do it. Maddie, does that make you smile? That will make me smile. Yes!

So much. Yes. Well, Maddie, tell you what. In a couple of months when you can play again, call back. And when you've done a night shift and I want you to study and I want you to call back and I want to see you win Yes, Bob is gonna block my number. I harassed her all the time. Yeah, that's not your yeah, okay, you're done Good to get to know you Is that true Babs?

No that's not true. All right well Maddie we're gonna send you back to Babs. She'll tell you how you get your platypus. Thanks babe. There you go. Wow I've never heard someone not enjoy their job more. Oh maybe Babs actually. This might be a bit of a Hail Mary. Let's see how open, vulnerable, honest the rice cookers want to be with

us for this Friday morning. Yep. Have you hooked up with a celebrity? Now what's your definition of celeb though? That's a great question. How can we go B grade, C grade, D grade? I think I'll take D grade and up. Okay. And it's open to interpretation. What's D grade? Is D grade like... I reckon D grade's reality TV. Yeah. Yes. Okay.

Oh no, because Ozzydell winner, I reckon is B grade. D grade would be like top 12. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone who was on the show once. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you kind of go, oh, that name sounds familiar. Yeah. I reckon it counts.

Have you hooked up with a celebrity? Because the AFL's most eligible bachelor, Ducko, how familiar are you with 25 year old Bailey Smith? Yeah, the mullet, the mullet, the blonde hair. He plays for Geelong. You might've known him when he played for the Bulldogs and sort of burst onto the scene. He's got these icy blue eyes, these long blonde mullet.

Yeah. Seems like a bit of a character, a bit of a larrikin, he got a lot of attention for being young and gorgeous and very good at his sport. He's done a bit of SponCon in the past, you might have seen him on some different ads, but he broke Instagram during the week to his 377,000 followers on the platform. He posted this. Righto guys, I've done it. I've joined Tinder.

Got a pretty busy schedule sometimes, so it's hard to get out there. So I'm enjoying that at the minute. I've got my best mate Gorms. He's awesome. So yeah, come find us on Tinder Double Day. So he- Tinder Double Day. He is now the face of, the voice of the ambassador.

Tinder's paying him out there. For 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he hashtagged, it's all very clear, Tinder partner. Okay. But he recently broke up with a girlfriend. So Tinder have gone, we need to get this bloke on our app. But that is essentially putting, as I said,

one of the biggest names, young stars, in the code on a dating app with everyone. Like he's just opening himself up to being swiped right, left, right and centre. I wonder if he would actually be open to it though. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Cause isn't Tinder notoriously just the one for, you know.

It's the hookup app. Absolutely, absolutely it is. And I think it has that. Reputation. Reputation. And it's maintained its success. Like your bumbles and your hinges, which say we're here for love and long term relationships their stock prices are dropping users are dropping off or as tinder is actually tinder and grinder have maintained they just keep going

they just keep going and keep going well they know what they are and they just do it and they do what they do well but for Bailey Smith to put himself on an app like that yeah people would be sliding into his DMs every single day, let alone he plays one good game. Oh my God, it probably. He doesn't even need to play well, I don't think. Probably not when he looks like that. But I just wanted to know,

have you hooked up with a celeb? Maybe you swiped right on a celeb and it actually eventuated into some dates or- Something, something. Or a bit of fun times. You've never done that, have you? A celebrity? No, unfortunately. Yeah, no.

Have I slid into DMs? Yeah, you have. I think I have. Yeah, I know who you have. Famously. Yeah, it got rejected. Got rejected by a Channel 9 presenter. I was single, obviously, at the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've rubbed shoulders with Hollywood actors and actresses. You've been in amongst circles and parties. I just, I don't think, no. No celebs under your belt? I don't, no, not really. I don't, no, no one.

No one I can think of. I mean, so many people have tried to hook up with Shy Guy. Well, yeah. He just keeps everyone at an arms length. He is the celeb people keep trying to get with. Absolutely. You know what I mean? But he's elusive.

He's very elusive. He's a slippery. People always ask me, are you on the apps? No. You should get on them. That was the answer. When are you gonna get on the apps? I don't want to be.

How will you find anyone? Hang on, if Bailey Smith's on there. Whoa! If Tinder is paying Bailey Smith to be on with his best mate Gorms. If they wanna pay me Bailey Smith money, I'll get on. Why don't we get Shy Guy as the other face?

Bailey Smith, the Shy Guy. I'm not gonna say it's a drop off, I'm just gonna say it's a different... You and your best mate, the other Luke, could be doing what Bailey and Gorms are doing and be the face of the double date feature. Let's get you on the apps for a date. The other Luke's married, but anyway. Oh.

Oh. Okay. Because it takes the pressure off, because that's what Bailey says, he goes, being able to go out with me mate, hang out with him. I'll go on a double date with you, Sharga, but I'll be taking, so I'll bring my wife. So you'll be the Gorms. So I'll be the third week. Me and Moira, kinda, but if you have a... Have my own date.

Yeah, but we'll have a date for you, so it's like... That's the point, exactly, yeah, kind of. But if you have it, if you're- Have my own date. Yeah, but we'll have a date for you. That's the point. Exactly. That's what we're using Tinder for. How about that? Let's do that. That's a bit of fun.

I like that. Let's set Shagart and we'll do a date. Ducco is the buffer and it's always good to take a friend because you know, you can highlight all his positives, bring up good stories, finish his sentences when he starts losing his words. But if he's doing all that, we should be dating. You and me. Well, if you're finishing my sentences.

Oh, you're so right. Sorry, Morgan. You and me? Well if you're finishing my sentences. Oh you're so right. Sorry Morgan. I don't want to confuse them. Whoa! Whoa! We're sitting at the date. Charlie's like you guys should be dating me. When you when he can't pronounce riboflavin you can jump in and save him. Yeah. Make him not look as silly. Yeah. I can order your food for you. I know how you like it. That's right. Get one milkshake with two straws. Oh. It'd be really sweet. No straw for Morgan. She knows I'd never have one milkshake with two straws. It would be really sweet. She knows I'd never have a milkshake though because of my gut. Had a funny thing happen yesterday to my parents and I want to know if you guys think this is weird as I think it is. So you know recently mum and dad, they sold their car and they bought my old ute that I had. That's right. You had a demo vehicle and they went, you know what, that's staying in the family.

And they bought the gold ute. They bought a gold ute. These are two people. Well, your dad's retired. Your mum still works, but she's a wedding planner. Yeah, yeah. They don't need a ute. What did they need a big boy ute for?

Well, they've got a caravan towing that, but also I don't know why they needed a ute. It's funny. What was the towing capacity on the Ranger? A lot. High towing capacity on the, uh, on the Ranger? A lot. High towing capacity. Amen, brother. Anyway, so they sold that at Toyota Prado, right? They sold that back to the dealer, got the car.

That was months ago. Everything's going well. Mum gets a message on Facebook Messenger last night, and then she screenshot it and sent to our family group. And it was a picture of mum and dad's Toyota Prado, their old car. And it says, Hey, sorry for the random message. Just wondering if this is your old car, just trying to work out how many owners it's had. Sorry to hassle. Now I don't know anything about the lineage when you put a car back into the world to be sold. How did they find your parents?

I don't know. Isn't that all private information? I would have thought it was as well. And particularly if they went through the dealer, like obviously if it's a private sale, you know who sold it to you. But to go back through a dealer, get a trade in. I said that to mum and she goes, I assume the details are in the log book. Because then mum replied to her and goes, looks like her, oh, she was great or something like that. And then like, wow, thanks, just wanted to know how many owners the car had.

But also don't you sort of find that out while you're buying it or they not trust the dealer. But why do you need to know? And also if you really were desperate to know surely you'd want to know prior to paying for it. Because they already paid for it, it was gone. It's like knowing the, what's the quick google off guys. Here we go. When there's a piece of art sold, there is a, like a lineage trail. So you can work out it's got a particular word. How many hands it's had on it. How many hands it's had on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's touched it, who's owned it because it impacts value and it impacts potentially. Is it genuine or not? Yep. There's a, there's a particular word for it. Oh, is that the one you want them to Google? That's what I want them to Google. Ooh, they're off.

They're off. Because similarly with a car, do you want to know who the previous owner was to judge? Well is it worth that? Is it worth it? Or is it diminished? They said to mum, it means appraisal. No, no. That's working out how much it is. It's called like the... Providence?

Oh, she's on the board! She's on the Google board! What's the word? Providence? Being's good with art. Providence. Providence? Providence, Babs. That's exactly it. The providence of a piece impacts its value, its resale, to make sure it's authentic.

So is that what this person's trying to do? Just trying to see how many hands it's gone through to see the providence of it. And did Kate and Chris look after the product? Well they then replied to my mum and said, oh you've taken great care of the car, it's in great condition. Thank you so much. But like you said, it would just be, wouldn't you want to know that before? Because if then they work out your parents were drug dealers. Well, now I don't want the car. Thank you.

You, you know, this was, this was, this was used in some shady stuff. I know it means nothing. It means nothing, but like having someone find you on Facebook and then message you when it was your old car and like, it feels weird. And even in a log book, this is going to show a level of unrelatability. Is it just a signature in the log book or has it got your parents full details? Like how did they see, you know, first name, surname tool found your mum on Facebook? I feel like it has their full name in it.

It has everything on it. But also do they keep the log book? And also the service people fill it out. But they don't put your details. No, I don't think they do actually. Ah there you go. But I think they do. Like your surname Alan Duckett, it's not the most common surname so they probably could have been found but I don't like, it feels weird to have been found like that. I'm sure there's a page in the book where you can fill out your own details. It's like a library book, you know when you start you have to fill out your details and all. Yeah and it's not like a card's

like a library where you have the names in there, the previous history. Very random, and they're in different states and everything. And your mum didn't think it was weird? No, she thought it was weird. The whole family thought it was weird. But like, it was just, it was so funny. Like, yeah. That is, I don't, I don't like it. It feels like an invasion of privacy. It does a little bit, even though I guess it's kind of not. But you're right, what does it matter?

What sleuthing? But also imagine- Yeah, great sleuthing. Imagine if mum said, oh, that's ours, we bought it's kind of not. But you're right what does it matter? What sleuthing? But also imagine if mum said oh that's ours we bought it off such and such would they then go and message the other person? Absolutely. Well is that what the idea was? We want to get to the genesis of it? Yeah. The whole history of the Providence? Yeah the Providence. Yeah I thought it was a weird one. I don't like it. I think your mum has to change her name on Facebook now. Change everything. Change everything. Caught up with a girlfriend the other day, Ducco, when she revealed something she has to do every single day.

She cannot get her day started right until she's ticked off this one thing. And it's not something I think anyone else would do. It feels dangerous in this economy. We're at a cost of living crisis. She has to check the new arrivals tab on the iconic, the iconic, obviously a very big, very popular shopping website. She goes every morning, you might roll over and turn your alarm clock off, kiss your wife, maybe scroll your socials.

Other people might, you know, reach straight for a coffee or I don't know, check an email. She says, I have to check new arrivals. I was like, how much are you spending? She goes, I don't necessarily- Or you're just flirting with it. She goes, I don't necessarily buy, but I just need to see. What's out there today? Have they refreshed anything? What's the latest?

It's dangerous. How dangerous? That the temptation would be way too much for me. I've been doing that with property lately. Not that I'm like looking. It's just like, and then you start looking, they start notifying you and stuff. Angus does this as well. Yeah.

He'll just scroll on realestate.com. He said the other day, check out this property or maybe Domain, whatever. When you get depressed because you look at the $8 million homes and you're like, my goodness. I'm like, we're about to start a Renault on our house. Why are you looking at moving? He goes, no, it's not to buy. It's just, is that a compulsion? What is it? It's just to see. He goes, I need to have my finger on the pulse of what's going on. Scratch the itch.

Scratch the itch. I've just never heard of someone, what's on new arrivals today? A new vest? Like what possibly could be there today that wasn't there yesterday that makes you feel, okay, I've seen it, I feel good, I feel content. And I hate doing that. I hate shopping for things when you're not actually going to buy them because it just makes you more depressed. But you know what's funny? I also find when you have an event coming up and you go, I specifically want something like this, you can never find it. So when you are not shopping for something in particular, you do usually find the best stuff.

So maybe that's what Jordan has in her head. She goes, I just got to keep my finger on the pulse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But checking the new arrivals every single day. That's bizarre. It's one thing to brush your teeth every day. It's another to check that. Yeah.

So 13 10 60, what do you do every day? I mean, yes, you can call and say, have a bath. Fair enough. Belinda has got in touch. Have a bath. It's one thing- Belinda's a huge bather. To shower every day, Ducker.

Of course. Bell the bather we call it. I don't really want to take those calls, but to have a bath, that is so labour intensive. Yeah. It's a commitment. Let alone time consuming. It is a commitment having a bath every day is so labour intensive. Yeah, it's a commitment. Let alone time consuming. It is a commitment having a bath every day. Let alone the water usage. I mean, her water usage is her water usage,

but to have a bath every day, that is so annoying. A lot of people say make my bed every single day online. See again, I would go, oh, I don't need to hear that, but I certainly don't make mine every day. No. Oh, but that's probably because I leave a husband left in the bed. Exactly, we're different. It'd be weird if I was making the bed. We can't make our beds.

No, but I don't even make the bed over the weekend. No. I only make my bed if I know my mum's coming over. Because when you make your bed, there's a little leftover butter chicken sitting in there and stuff. So you're like, oh, I'll get the flavor. I don't need to make my bed though. I just flick out the doona and I was like, oh, there's a rogue piece of chicken. Shani said, check out Audible for their daily specials every day.

It is so rogue. I mean, just, I was going to say, just read a book, but like, I guess a daily special, I don't want to miss out all this 40% off new release books. It's weird. You know what I do every day? What do you do every day? Nothing in the buying space. I have to, cause I don't play golf every day, but I have to get my

club and swing in the yard daily. Just a couple of swings. Just a couple of swings. That's the inner athlete in you. Couple of yard divots. Oops. I can't miss a day of training. It's not even, I just want it.

It's just, it's like, it's such a habit now. It's just such a habit. An actual golf, cause you'll do it in the studio. Sons club. Can't help it. And you really, I'm like, you're going to dislocate your shoulder again. You do not hold back. I'm part of the blokes who swing club wherever, you know what I mean?

Every single day. You see me doing a Woolies, bang. I like this one from Gwenni. She says, I have to thank some piece of technology that makes my task easier. Example, the dishwasher or my phone. So when the AI takes over the world, I'll be safe. Cause I was the polite human who thanked all the technology in her world. Yeah. It's, I just, people are living their lives. Yep. You doing things

daily? Are you doing? Nothing that I think is left of, people think it's weird that I eat pasta every day. Oh yeah, yeah. I guess I eat some form of... Every single day, that's not even a lie, like you do it every day, seven days a week. And if I know we're having it for dinner, I have the self-control to not have it for lunch. God, you're good. But sometimes. Yeah, yeah, you double up. It's a double up day.

I mean, your bowels need to be studied. Here I am judging being like, I don't do anything weird. Yeah, I know. 13, 10, 60, what are you doing every single day that maybe has raised eyebrows with your friendship group, with your partner? People are like, what are you doing? Shiloh, you be doing something weird every day? I'll say anything I

When I go to bed, I check all of the locks on the windows and stuff Just check them even though you know, you have an open them that day and you're the only one that lives there I'm the only one that lives there Even if they're open like it does I'll leave them open like the windows open overnight or whatever See, I'm a bit of an I still want to check I'm a bit of an ignorance is bliss with that kind of thing Which is stupid because I'm a bit of an- I still want to check. I'm a bit of an ignorance is bliss with that kind of thing, which is stupid, because I'm leaving myself vulnerable, but I don't want to know it's been unlocked, because then I'll just freak out.

Yeah. Someone's tampered with this. Someone's taking. So I go the other way direction, but okay. Yeah. 131060. The weirder the better. The weirder the better.

The more left of centre the better. What are you doing every single day? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Do. Jess and Ducko. We are talking, what's something you do every single day? And hey, if you want to call up and say, I brush my teeth, we'll give you a pat on the back. Might not win you the call of fame. I don't really care. Think it needs to be a little kookier than that.

Bit weirder. Like our friend Jordan, who revealed she has to, she cannot have a good day, she cannot start her day until she's checked the new arrivals tab on the iconic. Not necessarily to buy anything, she just wants to keep up to date. Keep her finger on the pulse. Because if it's new arrivals, it's the most expensive. They're not on sale, the new arrivals. No.

They're vests for $109. You go, but you don't even buying it. So why don't you check it? Check the sale tab maybe. It would make more sense. It's a weird one. It's a weird one. So we go to Gabby.

Good morning, Gab. Good morning. What is something you do every single day that maybe would raise a few eyebrows? So every single day I go onto my LinkedIn app and I play the five new LinkedIn game puzzles that come out. Now I'm not too good on LinkedIn.

I don't really... Neither do I. That's a Bab special. She's endorsing people left, right and centre. Oh yeah, I'm still doing Excel endorsing but... Has that got anything to do with your network on LinkedIn, Gab? Or are you just, I just need to play my games or I can't have a good day. They're really fun.

Number two is that yeah, I've got a few like people from my company and just friends in general that play it. So it gets a little bit competitive. Oh yeah. Get a bit naughty on LinkedIn. I've got a mate who she's single and she goes on LinkedIn hours like dating. Like she's like defined if she's a fine guy, she'll go on their LinkedIn. Oh, well what a great way to go. Well, I can see what he does.

He does also speculate salary and obviously there's photos there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has he been endorsed for Excel? Exactly. What skills does he have? That's the kind of person I want to date. Have you celebrating a job anniversary? Do you use LinkedIn as a bit of a dating landscape, Gabby?

I've got to be honest. I found a lovely guy 10 years ago and we're still happy. So no need for that. Don't worry about your Tinder and your hinges, LinkedIn is the place to meet people. I'm not just professional, am I right? Go play your LinkedIn games. That's when Shylord's going to meet someone. Are you on LinkedIn?

I have it, I don't check it. I get the odd occasion when someone's like, oh, here's a career opportunity. I'm like, no. You're happy in your job, but... I don't check it. I get the odd occasion where someone's like, oh, here's a career opportunity. I'm like, no. You're happy in your job. But if you want to congratulate- People at Mamma Mia, stop asking. If you want to, you get poached by Mamma Mia. He's always going to come on and say that someone else wants him.

I'm very desire. Okay. In this industry, leverage is all we have. So put it out there, Sean. That's smart from you. I see what you're doing here. I keep telling that as well to the Today Show. No, I'm not interested, you know, regularly.

I don't want that, you know. No one's come knocking on my door, so I'll just hear you guys. All those Four Brothers pasta sauces keep coming to you. Alright, I'll have the Dolmio green, I get it it it's fun. Take it up on the air, tunnel in love. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10k alpha bucks on hit. Ah this would be great to get this money for the weekend. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all starting with the same letter.

We have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question just say pass. We come back to you if there is time. You know we playing for 10k you know there's time pressure okay there's no time to chat in the quiz sometimes we get people going oh i just don't know yeah just say pass come back if there's time sometimes we get oh oh oh oh god oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, started my own business so I'm a wedding musician and obviously you've got to spend money to make money so it's been pretty pricey. A wedding musician so you're singing, you're playing an instrument. Yep, play guitar and I sing. Beautiful. Okay what's your go-to wedding song that always slaps no matter what the wedding is, who it's for? Oh do you know what A Thousand Years by Christina

Perry that's always a winner or Yellow by Coldplay. Oh! Okay. Well, maybe we can get a little... Always a cheer-joker. Maybe we can get a little... Acoustic Yellow would get me going. Get a little diddy from Brit when she wins 10 grand, she'll be in a good mood. Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, tell me about it. Alrighty, well, Brit, let's get her a new guitar or at least some, you know, Google ads to get her website higher in the search. Yeah, that's expensive. Absolutely it is. We're going to Vail town for you, Brit. You're going to work with the letter O. Oh, my God.

Is that Brit, the wedding singer? Hell yeah. Yeah, she's amazing. That's her. That's tricky, but I'll give it a go. That's all we can ask Brit. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter O. We need you to name an appliance. Pass. A city.

Pass. A drink. Pass. A beauty brand. Pass. An animal. Octopus. A clothing item. Pass. An animal. Octopus. A clothing item. Pass. An occupation. Occupational therapist.

A four-letter word. Open. A condiment. Oriental source. A male actor. Oh, it's so hard! Yeah, look, when you have Pass four straight, it's a tough carry to come back from that. That's a bad one, isn't it?

Because I looked at the clock, you passed four and you had 15 seconds to go, so I thought well you can still come back around to this if we go rapid fire. She needs to speed through these. But look, we got three, maybe four, if you're accepting the condiment. I don't know about oriental sauce. Oriental sauce. Look, I made that one up for you. Yeah, I thought you might have, but I felt bad for you anyway.

I love when the rice cookers eat it themselves, they're very minute. An appliance could have been an oven. A city could have been Ottawa or Owaska. Osaka. Sorry, Osaka, my apologies. A drink could have been orange juice. A drink could have been orange juice. A drink could have been orange juice.

A beauty brand could have been Olay. Oil on. And then an animal you got. A clothing item could have been overalls. A condiment, olive oil. And then a male actor I think we'd run out of time and motivation. Orlando Bloom. I think we'd run out of time and motivation. Orlando Bloom. I think we'd run out of time and motivation. Orlando Bloom. I think we'd run out of time and motivation. Oil on. And then an animal you've got, a clothing item could have been overalls, a condiment,

olive oil and then a male actor I think we'd run out of time and motivation. Orlando Bloom is what we're looking for there. Britt, I'm sorry. Recently single. That's alright guys. Have they broken up? Thanks for giving me a go. You're very welcome.

Britt, good luck with the business. Thank you. I appreciate that. Do you want to give your whole name a shout out? How are we finding Britt? Yeah, let's do that. You can find me on Instagram or TikTok. So, Britt out music underscore. So, B-R-I-T-T-A music underscore. out how we finding Britt before these singers do that. You can find me on Instagram or TikTok so

Brittamusic underscore so B-R-I-T-T-A music underscore. I'm gonna check out Brittamusic. Check her out she sings yellow better than anyone I know. Amen brother. Circling back yes. And you do get a hundred dollars to spend at Platyposh shoes by the way Britt that's all yours as well. Not bad thank you so much. You're very welcome. Enjoy. Representatives for both Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have confirmed the split. They're done. And they have said you will still see us together as a family as we navigate co-parenting Daisy Dove. Oh no. One of them gets a new partner. I know, forget about it.

I think it was all, it all started when Katy went to space. I mean, I really think that was the beginning of the end. Oh, you're talking about astronaut Katy Perry. My apologies. Yeah, absolutely. Did you think I was talking about? Singer Katy Perry. I always get them confused. No, no, no. It's two different entities.

When she came back and kissed the earth after she'd been displaced for 10 minutes. She was a changed woman. Yeah, she changed. I think Orlando went, you're not the lady I married. But Orlando has that infamous kayaking photo where he's very well, you know, he's got a case of the shy guys. Katy's on the back of that kayak. Yeah, she's sitting there just smiling away.

Yeah. Oh, that's sad. I think it was a stand-up paddle, it might have been a sub. Oh sorry it was a sub. When you're doing nude suppin', he basically put the first trap out there. That was a year ago. Just come and look at it, look at me Johnson. Look at me Johnson. Oh that's sad, I just thought true love would win in that situation. Rumours are that him and Sydney Sweeney rubbing shoulders. Oh he's doing it right then. Him and Kim Kardashian rubbing shoulders. Oh he's doing really well. He's being linked with a lot of the ladies at the Bezos wedding. So Orlando, what's she up to then?

Katie, she's falling through. She might have hooked up with an Aussie. Yeah, could have. You know, you never know. Bob Irwin. When he's not busy dining and dashing, he's taking Katy Perry out. He's dined and dashed in Coffs Harbour. Coffs Harbour.

You did. A salad. He ran off on a salad. Cause there was and dashed in Coffs Harbour. Coffs Harbour. You did. A salad. He ran off on a salad. Yeah, yeah. Because there was too many people there wanting to know who he was. Tried to say, I was inundated with photos. Bob. Bob, come on, Bob.

We all know we need to pay for our salads. Oh, jeez. I hope he tipped them a lot. Yeah, but what he did better, he put a whole video on his 8 million follower strong Instagram. I still didn't pay him, though. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if he did pay them, but he got them a lot of rep. Because that'll forever be the cafe where Bob was once.

That's right. Bob sat in. They put a plaque up on it. You know who wants to go there? What? Do not serve this man and it's him in the Bond's photoshoot that Bats has got on her desk. It's like when someone steals from an IGA, that's Bob. Get it together, Bob.

Come on, Bob. Jess and Ducco. So yesterday was the longest Flo and I had had just Flo and I and Morgan had been away from Flo. Four and a half hours. Now I know that probably for some people with kids doesn't seem long but you've got to remember we are three months in. Exactly. And Morgan is obviously still on mat leave and I get home from work at a reasonable hour and we have a lot of co-parenting because we're there together. Exactly. But yet if I can also go away and I'm breastfeeding and yadda yadda.

So Morgan left enough breast milk in the bottles. There's a different level of dependence. There is, yeah. And even the other time you've been left alone, didn't you invite Shy Guy around? So even then you weren't truly alone. Shy Guy made me change some nappies. That's right. Yeah, we did.

One of the great photos of Shy Guy holding your daughter. Awkwardly as all hell. Looking so uncomfortable. I don't know how to hold babies, man. Yeah, it is hard. Particularly when it's not yours. It's like, do I hold the head? Do I not hold the head? What do I do? You hold the head. I know I hold when it's not yours. It's like, do I hold the head? Do I not hold the head?

What do I do? You hold the head! I know I hold the head. I know. It's like, how do you do it? It's so little anyway. And I am like obviously competent and doing a lot with flow and you know, we're doing a great job of dividing labour I think.

However, yesterday I was a bit nervous. Morgan going away four and a half hours to chop 10 centimetres off her hair and colour it. Four and a half feels fast for that task. Yeah, I mean, you know what I mean? You know what, it could be longer, man. I was just caught up in it. I was just in the trenches.

You were in the moment. Um, it made me really realize it wasn't so much flow that was the problem. It was, it was my first born Pam. The fur baby. Having Pam as a dog and then having another child, like a human child. It's like having two kids. Skin baby and fur baby is genuinely like having two kids. You're like parents first time who get twins.

Oh my God. You go from zero to two, you went from basically two to three. It does feel that way because Pam gets so, Pam's been very good with flow and very gentle and stuff, but Pam also requires a lot of maintenance and admin and attention. And she gets really jealous. Now, what I learned yesterday pretty quickly when Morgan left is because Morgan breast feeds Flo and stuff, Pam thinks Flo is Morgan's, so I am Pam's.

And because I take Pam for runs. Why don't you just talk about division of labor. Similarly, the girls have got together, your girls, Florence and Pam have gone, right, you can have the mum, I'll have the dad. Exactly. I take Pam for lots of runs now more than ever because the baby and Pam needs exercise.

Sorry, really quickly. Someone spotted you in the wild the other day. I got up and then they were like, geez, ducko runs far. And I went, did he have the dog? Because he's trained that dog to only work 10 kilometre runs. So good. She's getting, her quads are looking fantastic lately. People are watching.

And she, thank you. Oh, I often wonder like people look at you, Pam, look good. People, people, people saw. Oh, great. But yes, that's, that's Pam's, look good. People saw. Oh great. But yes, that's Pam's parent. Yeah. You.

That's me. You belong to her. Yesterday when I'm there bottle feeding Flo, Morgan's not home, Pam's just coming up to me and she's like putting her paw on Flo. Oh. Like, oh. Almost like get off mine.

Yeah, a little bit and then putting her paw on me, they're bringing me a toy and I'm trying to like throw her a toy and do stuff like that and she doesn't want a bar of it. I'm trying to walk Flo up and down the house to put her to sleep. Pam's just following me. It's like, when's my turn? When's my turn.

Where's my bassinet? She just gets, she gets like jealous is the wrong word because she's good with Flo. It's 100% jealous. She's not aggressive. Not aggressive, not aggressive. But she's absolutely jealous. And so then she'll lick Flo and we're trying to be very like, oh, good girl, like licking her on the body, whatever. We don't let her lick her face.

And then Pam will start to do what she does and licks her on the mouth or whatever, and you have to remove her. And then she wants to play with Flo because Flo's now getting more alert and seeing Pam and like- And reacting to her. Reacting and smiling at Pam. We've obviously got a painting of my auntie of Pam

in Flo's nursery. So we all bow down to Queen Pamela. And so- Flo's gonna grow up being like, she's in charge of the house. Those two humans who feed me, bathe me, everything me. No, that's who's in charge. Yeah. The other day I showered Flo. Pam got in. You don't have a shower door. She could ekey sleep in. She was just sitting there. She wanted to come in on it. It was like me, Pam and Flo in the shower. I was like, what's, what's going on here?

Walk and walks in going, no, it's just a lot of ladies in my household who are getting a lot jealous for my time. A lot of feminine energy. There's a lot of feminine, you know what I mean? Oh my God. You know, just projecting into the future. Yeah. That's three cycles that are going to sync up.

Exactly. That's where I was going. Did you not mean me and Babs? I got five ladies that are syncing up, you know? All vying for your attention. Look at what Babs does, Babs doesn't really care too much about me, but you, Pam, Morgan and Flo. Flo and Morgan. Yeah. Oh God.

Yeah, it's a tough carry. Your harem is just getting bigger and bigger. bigger and bigger. Your mum, your sisters, this is just, how are you going to divide up all this time? You're only a young little boy, how are you going to divide up all this time? There's not much of me, okay? There's plenty to go around ladies. Jess and Daco. Just because we stand for joy, fun, silliness, does not mean that we shy away from bringing you some, I'm gonna say concerning news, Daco.

Okay, what do you got for us? I'm sorry, you need to be aware. Yeah. Wake up and read labels. She has an Instagram page, and she's dedicated to educating the human population about what we are putting in our gobs. Pan-fried sausages, sizzling in the pan. Are those cheesy sausages? educating the human population about what we are putting in our gobs.

Are those cheesy sausages? Obviously cheesy, cheesy salsas. She posted yesterday and it just caught my attention. I went, no, no, no. It's one too many nos, but all right. We love those foods. And if we lived in Texas, they've just been put on a list, not fit for human consumption. Wait, you're telling me Americans have put food on a list but not fit for human consumption? You took the words right out of my gob, Ducko.

If they are doing this, we're either falling behind here on Oz or this has fallen through the cracks. Tex is about to pass a law that will require warning labels on food that contain banned ingredients. Okay. Okay. So there's going to be a big old label on some of your favourite snacks, our favourite snacks, the words not fit for human consumption. How terrifying is that?

Yeah. What are the foods? They include Doritos. No. not fit for human consumption. How terrifying is that? Yeah. What are the foods? They include... Doritos. No. We love Doritos. We do.

You can wait for that one. Specifically, I think nacho cheese. Oh, not the nacho cheese. There's a good one. It's the red packet. Shy Guy. Mountain Dew. Oh, you get all drunk.

I'm okay with that. You love Mountain Dew. I'm okay with the Dew being bad. I thought you and I bonded over Mountain Dew. No, I'm a sprite guy. My apologies. I love Mountain Dew. Not we. I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. You are always jacked up love Mountain Dew. I'm okay with the Dew being bad. I thought you and I bonded over Mountain Dew. No, I'm a sprite guy. My apologies. I love Mountain Dew.

Not me. I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. You are always jacked up on Mountain Dew. Not now. Come on now. Darko. You're not gonna like this one. Don't tell me I'm on the list.

You're on the list. What have I got? Skittles. Do I like skittles? I thought you liked sour skittles. Oh yeah, but like I don't get them. Oh. I like skittles.

I'm saddened. Oh, you're saddened by that? Yeah, yeah, but yeah. Oh, I mean, you could have told anyone. Any form of lolly, I think is probably, you know. And it's things like titanium dioxide, high fructose corn syrup, artificial dyes. Yeah, I've heard that. BHT, I don't know what that is, but isn't that terrifying?

Yeah. Imagine just seeing some, but they're still, this is the issue, Ducco. You can still get them. You can still get them, but they're going to be slapped with this huge label. It's like, I guess, Probably hit it on the back. Probably. It's like our version here where it says, you know, the health star

rating and all that. Yeah. Are people genuinely looking at that? I feel like once a week, I see a different choice article or investigation about how much sugar or artificial is in particularly children's foods that are advertised as fruit based and you go, that's not actual fruit. Yeah it's crazy. These sort of things but yeah if Texas is doing this. Bad. That's we've fallen behind the eight ball. Does that mean they're like 45 kilos of pasta a week?

Hey man that's real food bar and that's fit for human consumption. Bar? Bar? Bar? It's eggs, flour, water and a bit of salt. That's food. Yeah, I know, I know. They're gonna come for your supplements soon. See you later, creatine. Creatine's good for you. What's that?

Creatine. Yeah, but what is it? It's good for the brain. So is me pasta. And skittles. I'm on Jack Duffel Mountain news. Jess and Ducco. Sabrina Carpenter.

Means to Orlando Bloom. No. Oh, Jess, don't pull Mountain Dew! Jess and Ducko. Hey! Sabrina Carpenter! Hey! Thanks to Orlando Bloom! No. No, that was silly, sweetie. You got your blondes wrong. Mate, it has been a week. Hey, what's going on with Sabicat and Barry Keeoken, though?

They're done, aren't they? Are they done? Oh, they're officially done. They've been done for a while. Oh, see, I thought then they were papped together again. You know who'd know that? Our resident Sabicat expert. That's right.

Babby Cat. He's got another one! Hey, Babby Cat, what's happening with Sabicat? Hey, Babby Cat, what's happening with Sabicat? Hey, Sabicat, what's happening with Sabicat? Hey, Sabicat, what's happening with Sabicat? Hey, Sabicat, what's happening with Sabicat? Hey, Sabicat, what's happening with Sabicat? Hey, Sabicat, what's happening with Sabicat? You know that our resident sabi cat expert. That's right. Babby cat. He's got another one. Hey, baby cat. What's up? Yeah. She's single.

No, is she single though? Are they no more? Is that what you meant? Is she on the market? No, I said don't call me baby cat, but I don't. Oh, she means no more nicknames. Oh, use your words. Sorry.

Quickly Google off. They're not together anymore. She's single. Okay. Okay. No one Google off. They're not together anymore. She's single. Okay, okay. No one Google yet. Hands off keyboards. Google Sabrina Carpenter, Barry Kiyogan together.

Go. Now let's see. Also, did you love from Shiger? I wasn't listening. For goodness sake. I didn't hear the audio for the whole thing. And Babs also said you missed it. She said I was lost.

They're out of cover for a year, breaking up in December 24. No, we don't want to hear the thought process. We want the answer. Yeah. What's the question? Babs, you can absolutely take this. Come on Babs.

I'm sorry ahead, you have it Babs. Oh, he's giving up. They're reportedly broken up after about a year of dating. So she's on the market. That's what I said. Yeah, I did say that. Yeah, I think that does kind of shock her. Oh no, but you gotta back your Google. You can't half ass your Google.

I did back it, you said you didn't like it. We want confident Googling. Too bad I've written it for Babs. Well done. Good job, Babby Cat. Babby Cat. Hey, it's time for the diary. Meow. Let's look back at the week.

That was Get Outta Here. Well, what a wicked spin with Jess and Ducko. Our boss just walked in and called me Puss Face. Old Puss Face here thought her land was under attack. Why don't you think this is a big enough deal? The earth has opened up around my land! Okay. Okay, strike.

Alright! I nearly got swallowed whole! If I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, Shy Guy, I could have ended up in the hole! My child! Have you sent it? I have. Can you see that?

That's just a hole. It's hard to- Sorry, pardon me, it's just a hole. It's hard to... Sorry, pardon me, it's just a hole. Where is that in your house? So, you know on the land behind my property? Are you speaking like we're in the space? Because I don't want to give away where we live. You're on land. So outside? You've been there? Yeah, yeah, I've been there. So this looks like it's about... how wide is that? Not that big. What's the dragon land? Is it 2 there? Yeah, yeah, I've been there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this looks like it's about... how wide is that? No, that big.

What's the dragon line? Is it two metres? Not two metres! That's not even one! That's like 45-centres! I'll get stuck! We took it to phones, and as it turns out, you rice cookers weren't too interested. I think this is a shocking segment.

Ducco's mum Kate texted in mid-show with some medical advice that we were not expecting. The mom starts with, hi darling, full stop. Been listening to the show lately, full stop. Have you got a colonoscopy booked in yet because I really think you need one. And then she goes, maybe pass on to Babs as well, X, X. Famously, you and Babs have bonded over your gut issues, your IBS, your love of the Squatty Potty.

Your mum has taken that. Let's not, let's not, it's not a laughing matter. No, I do, I should get one. I should get one. Check for pulse, etc. But Babs, mum wants you and me to get a colonoscopy. Oh my god, buy one, get one. Free maybe?

Well, it's gonna say team colonoscopies? Question mark? No, Chagai and I are fine. You two can have a little body. We'll do it live on air. What do you reckon, Babs? Well, it's gonna say team colonoscopies? No, Chagai and I are fine. You two can have a little bonding. We'll do it live on air. What do you reckon, Baps? I mean, it's really nice that she was thinking of me, but I think I'll be okay.

Just think of Uranus. If I get us a sponsored colo, are you in? I mean, if it's free, sure. Spawncon! Anyone out there who does colonoscopies, hit me up. Oh my god, would you like to see inside both Ducko and Babs? Live stream it on Instagram, that's justinducko. Producer Babs and I Google a lot of stuff during the show,

so we started a competition to see who out of me and Babs can Google the fastest to one of justinducko's random questions. The first test was to see if a bee dies after they sting you. Let's Google off, let's see who gets it! Go, go, go! Babs genuinely led him like an F1 driver. Who's gonna Google better and quicker? The Alparis mellifia bee.

Yeah, if I'm saying that right. That's French. Typically die after stinging humans or other animals. Okay. Babs, what did you find? My just said no. Alright, looks like Shagaka is winning the Google Authority. You know what? I need a whiteboard, I'm going to keep a running tally.

To be honest, did you use Edge browser or Chrome? No, I don't make a tally yet. That one wasn't good. Why did you type in? You got oversimmed? Why did you type in? No, I used Bing again. Stop using Bing! You're the youngest here! Jess wanted to check something with her team to see if she was solo when it comes to farting while sitting down.

I only ever lift to the right and I'm right handed. I think I lift to the right as well but I don't know. I don't lift enough to know my patterns. You also believe if you hold farts in that noxious gas is now wearing away at your intestines? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if you're in a place where you really can't go, like at a meeting or I was in a lift on Friday with a bunch of people from like the boring offices downstairs. Yes. And um, oh god that was... You can't.

Yeah. Have you ever let one go when you've gotten in on your own and then it gets down to the boring levels and then they have to walk in? You know what I do? When I see the lift stop, I start like, shake, like moving air around the truck. Doing the windmill with you. And they come in and you're like, morning! like, shaking, like moving air around. Doing the windmill. And they come in and you're like, morning! That's what I do in public bathrooms. I open and close the door really fast to try and get some air. Oh, I'd love to see you in a public bathroom in a while.

You've gotta lift! You've gotta lift! Every Wednesday on the show, we play Shy Guy Dips, where you rice cookers call in and guess the box of cereal I've got for breakfast. This week's cereal was honey nut and I got a little tongue tied with one of the ingredients. Yes. Oh yeah, we've heard it's 7% peanut. It's the thickest box we've had so far. Two words,

jam packed. Yep. Full of vitamins. Another clue for Libby. It's a good source of riboflavin. Sorry. Did I say that right? Flavin. So close. Riboflavin. That's a good source of riboflavin. Sorry. Did I say that right? Flavin.

So close. Riboflavin. That's not... Oh, riboflavin. I can't say it. He's just saying things there. Riboflavin. Flavin.

I can't say it. Flavin. Flavin. Flavin. Avin. Like flavor. Flavin. Riboflavin.

Ah, there we go. See you next week, Rice Cookers. Jess and Ducco. Oh yeah, you get involved in the show, you could win a great prize. Yes. This week $500 to spend with our mates at Eco down under. Coziest winter bedding ever Yep, a lot of honorable mentions. What a great mentions yesterday yellable names was lots of fun

Oh, that was a great one But earlier in the week I spoke about my mate getting hit by a kangaroo 80 kilometers an hour in the Hunter Valley at night Dinty's car rolled over and then kept popping away and the car was fine. Well, I was pretty bang mean, it's aesthetically damaged but it ran. It ran. It did run. Got into his destination. Begged the question, what'd you hit? What'd you hit? What'd it hit ya? Brooke gave us this. Pulling into my driveway, um, for some reason they were having a party. Pigeons were having a party at the bottom of my driveway. Yeah, get them. So I pull in and I'm thinking, you know, surely they're going to move. But one didn't. And I went straight over it. And I said to my daughter, I'm like, oh my God, I just like literally ran over a pigeon.

It didn't move. It was actually close to my gate. So I couldn't really, you know, I was beeping, I was like, hello, move. But the good thing about it is no pigeon's ever come to my driveway again. Oh, you know what? She's left the squished pigeon, you know, like when they used to hang the pirates as a warning to the other pirates. So Brooke, your squished pigeon has just won you the call of fame, girlfriend.

Thank you so much, guys. You're welcome. Who would have thought a killing a pigeon would get you the call of fame, girlfriend. Thank you so much, guys. You're welcome. Who would have thought a killing a pigeon would get you the call of fame, but here we are. I just love the idea Brooke just kept moving. She's like, I'm beeping and he's not moving. I've got to keep going. He's in the wrong now. It's on the pigeon for not getting out of the way for sure.

Brooke, thank you so much for contributing to the show. Enjoy a good night's sleep on us. Thanks so much, guys. Appreciate it. You're very welcome. We do have an exciting announcement for our co-fod next week. Co-fod, that means daily. For the fame of the day. Yes.

You get involved. Double pastasy. The best hair in entertainment. Grandenya? Duckos? Sorry, I should have said the best hair in the music. Oh, keep her. Babs, you have a mind.

I'll try again. The best male head of hair in the music biz. Keep her. Thank you, Ducko. The fighter. The fighter plus will hook you up with a night's accommodation. Oh, that would be good. How nice.

Is that just for giving us your two cents? You tell us about a squished pidge in your driveway. That could be you next week. That would be some great questions we ask on the air too next week. Absolutely. I reckon that will be for sure. Cause even though it's school holidays and everyone's sort of, routines are out of whack, I know you'll get up for Keith Urban.

Yeah, the kids on the street these days, they're everywhere aren't they? All the youth man. All the youth are out there. They're at my trampoline parks, can you go away? I can't bounce in front of you, I feel like you're judging me. I can't wait for the day you come back injured from the tree falling apart because it's gonna happen. You know what the issue is? Because sometimes I have to bail out if I'm a... I don't want to double bounce my own kid so I have to like quickly move and then I'm like oh my ankle.

Ah! Dude cracked egg where she's the egg and you gotta try and crack her and bounce her, bounce her apart. That's a good... that gets the kids. That's a bit of fun. That's a good one. I'm just throwing her in the pit. I'm like can you just leave me alone? I don't wanna bounce. Go enjoy the ball pit honey. Hey we're out of here though. We's a good one. I'm just throwing her in the pit. I'm like, can you just leave me alone or I'll bounce? Go enjoy the ball pit, honey. Hey, we're out of here though. We are about next week. We do have those Keith Urban tickets up for grabs every single day. Why don't you guys all go out and enjoy your respective weekends today? I want you to sit at home and think about your weekend.

Nah, I'm not. No enjoyment from you? Nah, I'm gonna sit at home and think. I don't wanna pull a Babs this weekend. Babs is already pulling a Babs. so you've got to have fun, Ducko. We are out of here. We will see you bright and early Monday morning. Have a good weekend. Bye.

Bye. Ripe off lavin'. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The rumours are true. Macca's new McGriddles is finally on the Brekkie menu.