Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Ketchup or Catsup?

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Jess isn't sure how to act around people, Ducko does a social media cleanse and the producers wrap up the week that was in the Producers Diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho range is here at the cafe. Jess and Douggo! This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the power. We live in the day yet. Podcasts, fuck yeah. Gay, podcasts.

What a Friday. What a Friday. 16 ticked off. I was actually going to put a bunch of... A little calendar. A little calendar where we could rip numbers off. Oh, that's fun. But I think as we've established, counting down usually to something. exciting, whereas I feel

like if we make you pull off the tab each day, 16, we're just counting down to, like, a sad day. Yeah, well, we sort of are doing that every day. Well, yeah. And that's why a little audio grab, trying to find a little bit of a little spark. But yeah, I don't know if something visual

like that will just be depressive. Yeah, it could be. Babs as, you know, queen depresso. How do you feel about that? Well, it's like a little advent calendar. Yeah, but see, behind it. Today I'm sad. But towards an Advent calendar, you're working towards Christmas.

Whereas we're working towards, you know, cutting him out of our lives. Oh, sad. You're going to cut me out. Do you reckon you guys will ever message me? No, I will. Shire guy, will. Babs probably will. Nah, no.

I've got a trip. Never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. I feel like I'll speak to Jess and shy guy, but bad's, I feel. No, I'll send you some memes. The question is. We know how that goes.

Yeah. She's been replying lately, actually. Yeah. Okay, very funny. Yeah, yeah. The corner. Yeah, I know. Don't worry about us messaging you.

Will I message you? Will I message you? I'll message you guys, of course. Very good. It'll be weird because, like, I'll be the one in the new environment, where you guys will be in the same environment, just a new person. So I'll be feeling really fish out of water. Absolutely.

I'm trying to reestablish. I wonder if you'll have opportunities, well, not opportunities, instances where you'll go, remember. Oh, that's not you guys. Yeah, I reckon I will. Yeah. And I was even thinking about, like, oh, I can't say that. Yeah.

We can cut this out. Someone's guest where you're going. Oh, yeah. If you'd like to address speculation. Yeah. There was a lot of people in the office yesterday thinking I was going to TV. Yes, someone specifically has said

Ducko's taking over Mark Beretta's role on sunrise. Because he's announced he's leaving. What say you? Yeah, doing the sports on sunrise. A network I have never done anything for ever in my life. Is it all I'll say to that. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

And because, what's his name? A good friend of the show, my friend as well. Uh, Clint Stanoway Stannes is leaving and just doing radio So it opens up the weekend desk Don't worry about Stannes He's the face of you, Niccolo Is he?

You seen, I just, I just saw Really? Really? When I say face off, he's done a campaign Yeah, yeah, yeah, good on a hill. About, you know, Ath leisure wear and life, no, lifewear. Lifewear.

They have a nice lifewear at Uniclo They do, yeah. I just bought two shirts from them. I hope you used Clint 10. God, they did it. They're nice trackies too. Do they? Yeah, I wear them all the time.

Oh, so good. How good's a good pair of trackies? It is good. I still got our LSCD ones. They very kindly gave us. God, a year and a half ago now. When we first started. We first started as a little team as the for some.

And they dressed us. Dressed by LSKD. Yeah. But no, I mean, yeah, a lot of speculation TV. Am I doing the weather on Channel 9? Because there's talk that Tim might be moving into Clint's job and then the weather will become open. There's a lot of speculation about that.

When can we know? Next Friday. Rock on. Next Friday. Next Friday. around this time, around, yeah, next Friday. Cool, cool, cool. All right, well, keep your guesses coming in.

I think people are just going to be disappointed because I'm like, oh, oh. Yeah, 100%. No one's actually guessed correctly. It's funny how people always go to TV first. I know, I know. It is funny. It's like, yeah. Radio's way better.

Yeah, it's like. So much more fun. I know, I know. So much less scripted and less. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you tell us a great stat the other day? We've got more.

22 tons of meth is consumed. in Australia. That was fun. That is absolutely what I meant. That's all we needed. It was about we've got more listeners than someone. Oh yeah. We have more listeners than the Today Show, yeah.

Yeah, we do. Yeah, yeah. People for to go to TV. That's just because of the access they have that we don't be. Well, whatever. I mean, it's just because they're in TV. And they're always on the, like, they're in the background though, right? So people often see them in a gym.

Like, whenever I do a today show weather, the amount of people who say, I was at the gym or I was at my parents place and you're on the background or grandma had you on. Like, it's those places. where it's on the background. Big in the grandma household. Huge in the granny household. I'm big in the plus 70s. Absolutely you are.

Massive. You know? I'm signing saggy your boobies daily. I think that woman... What was her name? Deb. Yeah. Not that she was 70 plus,

but she took your... She took your cardboard cut out. She did terrible things to that. She did. I wonder if she still has it. Yeah, she probably does. It is very... You can tell around the mouth region now.

It's had a lot of kissing. Like, it's just a bit faded. Yeah. There's actually no colour on the printout anymore. She used to send me photos of me sitting at their table and they had like dinners and stuff and friends over. Who had the headshot of you on the mantel bits? That was someone else.

It was a guy. It was a guy. And then another guy bought my old sweaty gym shorts. For charity, but it wasn't weird. It's all for charity. It was a hole in the crutch too. And he's like, I'll buy them. And he came in COVID.

And then we gave it to him on a stick because we couldn't like, here you go. And he's like, thanks. And he left. The same guy bid on our old co-host teeth. We also sold Nick's teeth. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think he was that old. We've done some shit.

What the fuck? No, you got like punched in the face and then a tooth fell out. We've given away and sold some stuff. Yeah. Haven't we. Yeah, we have. I've got to get back to that bloke who offered to buy my footpicks. You may as well, man.

What else are you doing? 100%. You know what I mean? Someone got one the other day, inadvertently. Yeah, I know, I know, annoyingly. You know, why I try to do SponCon for those shoes? I accidentally gave away free footpicks. God, damn it.

He probably won't pay now. No, he's got what he needs. He does. He's satisfied. He's all in. He'll never be satisfied, Shiger. Yeah, yeah. He'll always want more.

Give him the full heel. That's right. And that's when you come to me. What, for the full heel? Sorry, why we're going to. Why are we going to you? How much you saw your foot for? Well, and they're not satisfied with Jess's beat.

They're going to have seen your feet. They're very cute. Do you get nail light on your toes as well? I want to see your foot. Do you? No, they're pink. You'll see them later. I've got pink, I've got pink.

She's going to wear a kidney heels later. Yeah. I can't wait to see you on your little. No, they're actually just, like, really stubby and small. Like chipponatas. Yeah. But not like that. What size foot are you? Size eight.

You're in eight. I'm a six and a half. Really? Goodness gracious. Yes. I, uh, I, I walked past the eucl yesterday in Coles and I had a chuckle. Great for the guts, allegedly. I was so gross. I stand by it, two your courts on top of each other.

Pretty big. You need length and girth. You do. Your cool is not the girthiest. No. You need length. Thanks and Gers. How about those?

Cheese. Guys, you know, I've never joined you in that. Have you never joined? Could today be the day? How about those? We can order cheese. Yeah. Big game today.

Thanksgiving Day, actually. Who are they? Cowboys. Dallas. In Dallas. Yeah, yeah. Is this like in AFL, Anzac Day is always Essend and Collingwood? Is Thanksgiving always Cowboys and Chiefs?

Not always Chiefs. No, but like Detroit always playing. I think Dallas usually playing Thanksgiving. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Chiefs have, they also play on Christmas Day. They were the Christmas Day game this year. Yeah.

When do they have lunch with their families? Or Taylor Swift. Yeah, yeah, I guess they don't. Taylor will be there. Jason and Kylie, I'm sure, are hosting this year. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah, they will be.

Christmas Day game. I'm sorry, it's probably a dumb question. Is the stadium full? Yeah, yeah. It's a packed. People make a bit of an event. People make it like a family thing. Like, you open your presents in the morning, have breakies.

Is this because Thanksgiving is such a big holiday. Christmas isn't? I don't know. In America, maybe. I mean, not that everyone's going to the NFL, but like, that's really cold. And it's freezing. Imagine trying to put a rugby game on Christmas Day here. It would not fly.

Arguably, I think it would. I think it was in the late afternoon. We don't have rugby. It's not the time of year, so it's cricket season, right? It's a boxing day test. Yeah, yeah. If they did, like, Christmas Day test and the first ball was on Christmas Day, it would sell. It would.

Yeah, 100%. Oh, my God, I am not missing Christmas lunch for anything. Yeah. I love Christmas lunch. But you just love lunch. You just love lunch. That's right. My mom goes all out for Christmas.

I'll say this on the podcast, not on air, because I think some of Angus's family do listen to the show. And hopefully not the podcast. It's their turn this year. And two years ago it was their turn. Mate, not a lasagna dish inside. That makes sense. It's Christmas. Yeah, but that's not the Christmas.

I grew up with. No, but that's, that's, you know, the Christmas you grew up with? You think that's Christmas. Yeah, yeah. So now I've got to go to Ozzie's houses and I'm like, fucking ham. turkey. I left hungry. Could you bring a lasagna? I probably. You know what? Well, I've been nominated

to bring the cheese board this year. Maybe I just bring a fucking lasagna. You know that as well. Yeah. But then it's like oven space. It becomes an issue. Like bringing a dish that you need oven space. That's fucking, that's a bit shit. Precook it. And then roll with it just in a microwave situation.

Oh, I mean, maybe. Or 20 minutes in the oven at the end. Genuinely. Well, bring my own little, like, little lasagna. I just go eat it in the back with Lucia. Yeah. That's actually not a bad idea. And say, oh, Lucia really wanted it. She's been difficult. So I'd just whip this up.

I'd just whip this up. Yeah, yeah. The kids never had turkey. I've tried to give her ham before. She was a bit whatever. Yeah. So she might be going to let hungry. Where is she?

Where is she going on? No, I don't. And they do traditional, like traditional English. You know, like stuffing and the cranberry sauce. We do, um, Christmas ham and chicken. What's the other meat? Chicken. I'd love a freaking chicken.

Roast chicken, potato bake, salad. Potatoes always slap. But I can't eat all the potatoes. There's 30 people there. I'm like, blurting up. on potatoes. Oh, God. Anyway.

Ugh, goddamn Australia and they're normal traditions. I would rather watch the cricket on Christmas. When I wake, wake, wake up. When you wake up, it's Jess and Taco. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got that shit that you're like. There's only one show to wake up with you. I'm not that easy to tell.

Jess. Hello, how's your butthole? I have got to explain it. Here he is. I'm a husband. He was in Woolworth. Looking at the cleaning product Got him going insane

Yeah, I like I Don't put it back in during the song Oh, badass No, it wasn't it It was just like Well, it all flopped out Oh fuck yeah, talk it This is Jess and Ducko

Yes it is right on six o'clock Everybody, welcome to it Welcome to Friday This is the last working day At least Business Day Before December, Ducko Yeah, December 1 Monday

But also It's a pretty big milestone Yeah, the JD. The JD era. A little train that could. We're 16 today, guys. 16 shows to go. Before the band breaks up.

God. I, when I was really excited to get to 16, because did you ever watch my super sweet 16th? Yeah. It was... It was a great reality. reality show, wasn't? It was so good.

I do remember. All those rich, rich bratty kids. I know you were a pick my ride guy. Yeah, pit my ride and date my daughter. And date my daughter. I know, you know, love my daughter. But I was a super sweet 16 kid. And I was like the shy guy, get the theme song.

He goes, it's Hillary Duff. No, no, the theme song for the show. He goes, yeah, it's Hillary Duff. I went, no, no, for the reality show goes, it's Hillary Duff. That's the same song. I didn't. I did not realize the show was using Hillary. I didn't know that either.

There you go. See, we're learning. Shiger knows everything. about Hillary Duffer. He absolutely does. Bad's exactly the Hillary Duff there, but I knew that one. You knew that one. Perhaps it's still dressing as Hillary Duff to our Christmas party today, even though it's not

dress up. No, no, but she saw an opportunity and she went, right, I'm going to get me socks and me clogs. Yeah. All those little fit. What are they Mary Jane's? What are the shoes Hillary wears? Yeah, I think so. I think so.

They're like the cloggy shoes. The cloggy ones, exactly. They're playing her new song in the workday, too. Hillary's back. Someone's got a bit of a Hillary crush over there, Mrs. Shirelo. Sorry, Padre-M-I-M-Hu. Hillary's got new music. You know I look up and I said to Babbs, what's this?

Hillary can sing? And then I go, shit, yeah, Hillary's back. Did you not hear the theme songs? Sorry, my question still said. What's the new music called, Babs? I actually don't know what this is. You can just tell it to. Can you find it?

Will we be able to play it? Yeah. It's called mature. Oh, nice, because she's mature now. Mature. I think she's got three or four kids under her belt. Does she? Yeah.

So no wonder she's released a song. It's just, that's a lot of a version. Sounds like last Friday night for Katie Kerry. Yeah. It doesn't sound great. You're so mature for your age. Oh, do you want to get it on?

Sounds like there's some undertones. Do you want to play it is it a somber? Why not? No, I don't really want it. No, 12 to 12 is a banger, don't you day. I don't know if I really want to play. If I'm going to pull a trigger on changing the music, I don't know if I'm doing it to mature.

Listen, we've heard a bit of sweet 16 and we've heard a bit of mature now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Babs, do you want to hear a bit of Hillary? I did, but it's fine. Well, you know what? Why don't you bat that up for your bang up? I'm sure everyone will vote for you.

Come on. Come on, Babs. Take a swing. No, you're trying to make me lose. Take a sweet. I'm taking an absolute swing today. This is what dreams I made of. That is a song and a half.

That is a good song, actually. Why don't you do that? Do you do a Hillary Duff edition? Yeah, we could all do that. Someone can do someone's watching over you. That's also a banger. I don't know that one. I'm sorry.

I'll do the Lizzie McGuire theme song. Yeah, I'll just do Sweet 16. Yeah, you can do Sweet 16. Do we even have this is what dream's made of in the system? I don't know if we do. We should. It's a hell of the song. You know what this is.

It's a trend, it's trending audio on the TikTok. On the tiki tiki. On the tiki. On the tiki. Well, there you go. 16 shows. Let's make it a biggie. Let's make him count.

You're wearing your Chief's jersey today, you're feeling it? Yeah, Thanksgiving Day today. Big game. What do you give thanks for? My team. 16 left with the greatest team ever, you know? I was actually, I was out yesterday playing a bit of golf for the first time in what felt like months. Saw on your social.

How'd you go? Did you smack 11? Did you smack 11? Fantastic. How did they go? As expected, not great but not terrible. Okay. I haven't played in about, honestly, maybe seven weeks.

Okay. But it was okay. Anyway, as I was there, I was chatting to me about Mitch who works of course there at Shultland Waters. Oh, the swing doctor. The swing dog, also your golf coach. How dare I? And Mitch he goes, geez, mate, you're getting loose. And I was like, sorry?

He's like, well, I can tell. I can tell you're leaving. You sent somebody the other day and I had to like, whoa. Like, did he just say that? And not on the podcast. Like on the air. And I was like, man, I don't even remember. And no one in the team pulled me out.

So I don't remember. No, no, we're on this journey. Yeah, we're all descending into madness. And I have to keep remembering, I'm here. I'm staying. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm going to put you with me. We can't go out with a full blaze of glory.

You can. I can. But leave me uncharted, please. I'll leave you a little bit uncharted. Yeah, look you're a little bit roasted. But not fully charged. Yeah, I want to burn... Shall I just burn straight away.

You know, if you can tell me to actually, we're going to work Christmas party. I was excited he was going to stick around because he said he would. It's my last one. And then today just drops, I've got to drive to Sydney. Yeah, well, when I made these plans,

I forgot about the Christmas party. Well, I'm very pleased to tell you. Oh, you're in. I got a baby center to get my kid. Yeah. Hey, Babs, do you have to drive to Sydney or pick up your kid from daycare? Yeah.

No, I do not. Yeah. It gets to kick me off. Like she could be your daughter. Took me a second, then. Yeah. Shy God. I reckon we can twist us sometime.

Mate, at least just leave at five or something. No. Sydney's a long way away. Come on. I want you to get that period where we're all drunk and you're not, but you kind of feel like you are. You just have to go harder earlier. We need. We can do.

Don't. We can get there earlier. We can start earlier. Yeah. Shagai, we've got three weeks still to go. Yeah, yeah, we do. And it's funny, we will get to it, but we had an all-staff memo sent around yesterday.

Is that a legal thing? Yeah, it is a legal thing. It is. It is now. Hey, big Friday show, though. Yes, we have Alfa Bucks. We have Friday bangers, the producer's diary. We have what's the threesome.

And we draw those amazing Ed Shearing tickets. It's not a double pass, baby. It's you and three mates to Ed Shearant. It is our call of fame. So get involved where you can this morning. Yep. Got an opportunity next, Ducco. Yeah, no dumb thought Friday.

You can get involved 13, 1060 if you've got one, or text a text line. 04-8-8-106-9. Jess and Ducco. Yes and Ducco. There's no such thing as a dumb. Thought? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's a safe space.

Mm-hmm. You reckon your therapist offers as a safe space? Yeah, it might be. It might be. It's not as safe as here. Not a safe. This is the safest of safe. Particularly because we got the tent.

Oh, yeah. Oh, do you want to go into it? the tent. It'd be nice to get into the tent. I didn't realize we were getting in the therapy tent. Well, when I've said safe space, I'd really like the rice cookers to know. Yeah. We're not mucking around. Let me just get the zip here. Thank you. Oh, look at this. That's nice. Babs has actually left it tidy for once.

It's clean as in here. Thank you. She's obviously run the dice in over. Why don't she clean this? Is there an air for? Look at these candles all burning. She must have had another orgy last line or something. Oh, she's cleansing. She's cleansing out. Yeah, yeah, good. So if you have a dumb thought, come with. us. Yeah, come with us. To the safest space of all time.

We got one on the text line already. 048-18-106.9. This is from Stuart. He said, no dumb thought for you guys. Shouldn't extraordinary mean the opposite of what it does? Something that is extraordinary? Wouldn't that be more ordinary? So, extraordinary.

Isn't it just extraordinary? Not extraordinary. Extraordinary is one of my favorite adjectives. I love it. It's got so many syllables, so many vowels. It feels so dramatic. Yep. But you make an excellent.

Doesn't he just? It's like saying extra large. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it the best? It's like, no, it's just doubling down on large. On large. So similar to extraordinary. It's doubling down on ordinary.

So you're just actually extraordinary ears. Oh my God, it's not a good thing. It's super bland. You're extraordinary. It's like how I'm extra medium, you know? But isn't it, again, this is why we always say English must be the hardest language to learn. Because saying two separate words, extraordinary, yes, it's extra boring, it's extra bland, it's extra average. But together.

Whereas rolling it through your tongue. Extraordinary. Extraordinary. It changes it. Extraordinary, not extraordinary. Yeah, you're right. And you got words like yacht. Yeah, I know.

With a C and H in there. How are you meant to learn? And then subtle with a B. What are we doing? What are we doing? I can see his cogs turning. Is there a C in the word yacht? Yeah, babe.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Even I knew that. Oh, I thought it was a G, not a C, see you. You got a question me on spelling. That's why I was a bold swing from you, right?

That's why I was puzzled. Come on, man. But I love that he felt, you know, why? Because we're in the safe space. We're in the tent. And we're not judging. We're all friends. I've got one for my friends, my pals.

I was thinking about the other day. Isn't it funny that when you get older, you always want to be younger. But when you're younger, you always want to be older. So when are you actually enjoying the part you're in? When do you actually sit down and go, I think this is it. I think this is the part that I want to be.

Do you? Do you not to get too deep with you. I think I'm in that right now. Because I feel mentally... Yeah. 26. Physically, I'm probably pushing more of my 40s, but I'm trying to look after my body now.

Yeah, you got it, Jim. But I think, I think I am there. You reckon you're in your peak right now, 34. So what you're telling me is, as I continue on, I'm going to start craving the youth again. Yes. So, you best enjoy it. Yeah, you best enjoy the moment you're in.

You know? Like Babbs right now, she just wants to be taking a bit more seriously taken older, you know what I mean? That's right. I mean, we constantly bring up how young she is

and how little life experience. Maybe you're... You're probably not there yet. You probably are a bit youthful. But soon, Babs. Soon. All right, thank you. That's really inspiring.

Got another text, okay? Did we? From Jess. It's not me. You don't actually wash your hands. They wash each other. You just stand their, staring at them like a creep.

And then really inspecting them? It's tantamount to watching other people bathe. That's funny. You're watching your hands wash each other. Watching your hands wash each other is great. You should look away is what Jesse's saying. Yeah, don't. Give them some privacy for goodness sake.

Remember COVID times? We got taught how to do it. There was the turtle technique. And you had to sing happy birthday. That's how long they used. Each finger and stuff. Can I ask you a question about hand washing? Of course you can.

You've come to the right guy. Firstly, two-parter. Yeah. Do you wash your hands after every bathroom trip? No. Same. When I urinate, no. Yeah, same.

Number two, always. Oh, wait a minute. You don't after twos? Sometimes I walk away and then, like, my husband looks at me and I go, oh damn, he knows. Number two. Number two. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you put soap in your hand, then wet that, then bring your hands out of the forcet, soap up while the tap's still running, or just soap up and then basically leather and rinse simultaneously under the running tap? Yeah, I'll do that. Me too, which feels counterintuitive. Yeah, you probably need to let the soap and the suds get around. But I've got such an aversion to wasting water that sudsing up while the tap's running.

That famous draught from 2004. 13, we're still in. Various 2003. Messed with my brain. Yeah, yeah. But yes, bringing your hands out to lather up while the tap running feels so bad. So I do that also while it's running, which I don't know if it's doing much. I don't think it's as good.

I think you should also start by washing your hands after poopie. That's not what we're focusing on you. Sorry, so I know it's the same space, so I just want to clarify. I did it this morning. I've done it number two. You want to hug shog after the toilet as well. So that, I'm just trying to build his immune system. Yeah, that's right.

He's a bit too clean. So I'm trying to help him get a bit more dirtless. We have a few more texts roll in. We've had the vacuum one already, Brad. You are the vacuum cleaner when you clean the vacuum cleaner. That's right, yes. We've done that one, but I appreciate that one. Sophia also sent another text in.

04-8-1-169. You have to pretend to be asleep to fall asleep. That's absolutely right. It's a good one. You're not just sitting there unless you're narcoleptive. And then you just fall asleep. You do have to fake it. Trick your brain.

We're all switch off. If you really think about it, We're all sort of faking it, aren't we in life? We're all sort of faking it. Until we make it. Shagga, what are you got for us today? Do you think dogs know the elevators go up and down? No.

There's no way they'd know that. Or do they think it's like a portal to a new world? Yep. I think more portal. Definitely more portal. Or they just, these dumb humans just sit inside this box together for no reason that it opens and they go out. See, I reckon my dog thinks something's going on

because he was very nervous about getting in the lift when we moved into the apartment. They get scared about lifts. Because now very comfortable with it because I... Do you think Gianni knows it's going up? I do only because we've got the balcony. So he knows too high, I don't like this. Whereas going down in the lift, I'm now on the ground.

I think there's an element of exposure. He knows it's high and low, though. Or do you think it's just... It's another world. I do only because I've seen him look over. I remember this guy licks his own package. And yet for this exact thing, I think he sees the ground from the balcony. You go, I want to go down there.

That's where I pee. And how do I get down there? I go in this box. I go in this box. So it may be a combination of the portal takes me to the pee-p-area. Yeah, portal to pee-per-a. Or he understands lifts.

But... Do you reckon he washed his hands after his number two? He does do that. You know, what are they... What do you call that? Yeah, well, they flick their... Yeah, they flick it, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he also is an absolute fiend for pissing on his own feet.

So... Jess and Ducco. Ducco's finishing up at the end of the year, love. Love to give 10 grand away before he says Sayanara. Chau. And someone else next year reads the rules. I'm a, oh, that'll be dirty. That's going to, it's going to be funny. I'm going to send it to you. I'm going to get you to air check the new person. Are you going to say, are you going to say, my old co-host used to real like this?

Oh, I'll be using your name. Let's not, let's not even pretend they won't know who you are. So you say, Doco, you should do like this? Or you just say, you do how you want to do. Oh, that's how we'll start. And then when they do it the way I don't like it, I'll go, I don't like it. It'd be like getting with a, a new partner and being like, oh, my ex-boyfriend actually used to hit the spot like this. To be fair, the few times shy guy has sat in your seat, you know, when you've been on

professional development, he refuses to just read the paper and tries to remember the rules off by heart. It's because he can't read. More often than not fumbles it, though. So I always have to say, just do it like daco. Just read it. Get it right? Until you've done it for six years and you've memorized this. I'm going to get you all shirts before I leave that say, do it like ducco.

Oh, that's nice. D-D. Like, D-I-L-D. Yeah, dild. Dild. Can we out of know at the end? Do it like Ducco. Oh?

That's a hard word. We can find something to do it like Ducco. Do it like Ducco. Do it like Ducco. Oh. Obviously. Do it like Ducco, comma. Obviously.

Yeah, yeah. Dild, comma, oh. This is what people are talking about when I said I'm descending into Luce. I know we've only got 16 shows left and one jiz bit to give away but shy guy, how quick can we get the t-shirts made? Babs? Come on, we can do that and get a little face of me and I'll have like real open mouth.

That's the O! Yeah, yeah. That's the O! It's my mouth. Babs, this is your next promotion's job. Well, my day just got busy, do you? Yeah, I don't know if you can come to the Christmas party, sis. You've got a source t-shirt quotes. Anyway, also you printed this article again for no reason. We'll do it next week.

I want to get a definitive ruling. Really, really, just, how do we act in these scenarios? You're at the supermarket. Yep. You bump into someone you know in the produce section. Look, most supermarkets are the same. It's produce straight up. It's always, and you always do pump it to people in the produce.

Exactly. Because it's open, I guess. The issue is, exactly, it's open plan. The issue is, that's at the start of a shop for most people most often. Yeah. What is the etiquette when you continue to bump into that person as you're meandering through the aisles. It's the worst, isn't it?

Because I had this exact scenario. I was with my family and I bumped into people from the gym. I don't even know their names, but you know them by sight. We obviously train in the morning together. There's not that many faces. Can we just also have a moment to mark this down? Friday, the 28th of November, Jess said she has friends in the gym. I never thought I'd hear the day.

But even that, maybe friend is too much because I don't know, I don't know this couple's name. Yeah, yeah. But you, again, I'm Jim. You know what I mean? Friend by side. Well, you're like, hey, how are you? Good. Exactly. When you're getting to...

I don't recognise you out of active wear. 100%. We get our sweat on together, but we've never actually said more than morning. Yeah. And I don't take my headphones off. Your Gaines gals. Yeah. Exactly.

Well, this is a Gaines couple. She does the class upstairs. He does the free weights. But we see each other. We cross and pants. So we smile at each other at the produce. But then we bump into each other. I kid you not three more times.

It was like we were following each other. It gets to the point where you've just got to, like avoid. Like the next time it's like, oh, we're going to do this all the time. You make that joke about it. Exactly what I did. And then the third time,

I actively turned my back to them and made up a sentence to Angus going. So do we need to stock up on mint slices to try and actively avoid making eye contact with this bloke? And he's like, what? Angus goes, if you want, like there is a half-eat, there's a half-packet still at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But now I'm actively trying to physically block them to avoid the eye contact, to avoid the acknowledgement. worse, isn't it? It's the worst. And these are people I barely know. When it is someone you do know, you're having a chat every time. Yeah. Your 20 minute duck into the shops becomes a bloody hour expedition.

Or do you go, hey, do you just want to do this shop together? Let's just go aisle to aisle, you know? Because you know what? I end up asking people every time. What do you get for dinner? What's for dinner? I bet you do. What's for dinner? Oh, what are you going to have in that? Maybe we should have that. Because then I feel like a big purve, because then I'm looking into their basket, into their trolley. And then you're seeing

maybe you're seeing metamusals. Maybe you're seeing some medications like that. It is quite, pervy is probably a word for it, but it is quite intimate looking into someone's trolley, isn't it? It is. It is. Particularly, I get very judgy. Oh, you went the continental cucumber? That's a bit of plastic, that's unnecessary.

Lebanese is the superior. Obviously. And now I'm judging these people. I don't even know their freaking names. I don't even know what their situation. Imagine if you saw my trolley, chicken, broccoli and metamusel. Last time I saw daco in the shops, shy guy, all I wanted to do was dack him. I was like, had my phone in one hand.

I was like, can I, he was comparing. Can I dacky? I'd prefer you did it. Comparing tin tomatoes. I was like, I can't dack him. And I was wearing like Mr. Burns in the supermarket. Like, catchable cats.

Was that too niche? Sorry, mate. Did you just have a bleed? Do you know that? That's just far too niche. Is that niche, Babs? I don't know. It felt niche to me.

That was very niche. To be fair, I know it. Fine. But even I can say, because he drowned himself out by going, I don't believe in what I'm saying. You got to. I said that. I said, no, whatever. You've got to back yourself.

Your tone. Yeah, say, I actually don't have the quote. Cetship or Ketsup. It's when Mr. Burns runs out of money. I don't know. He loses his job with the nuclear power plant. Did he get dacked? He doesn't get dacked.

Smithers was coming up from behind. You've got real Smithers energy actually about you, shy guy. You do. You're secretly in love with Mr. Burns. And I've got real burns, then. Who's Mr. Burns? No. Can you give us your best?

Excellent. Excellent. My God, that was really good. Shago, come up behind me. And do what? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco's 10K alpha marks on hit. Alfa Bucks.

30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, you can say pass. Of course, we come back to you. If there is time, they are the rules of engagement.

We are playing for $10,000. And our player today is Jess. Hello, Jess. Hey, guys. How are you? Jess, couldn't be better for a Friday. We're on one because we've got our work Christmas party. So I know if we had 10 grand, we'd be obviously shouting everyone the drinking poos.

Oh, yeah. What do you want to do with 10 grand? Oh, look, guys, I want to quit my crappy job and finish up now so I can start the new one next year. Hell yeah. So you've got a new one ready and lined up? I do, yeah. All righty, but Jess is like, I'm going to have to see out the year because, you know, Mommy's got bills to pass. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if she wins 10 grand... Okay. Yes, I'm out. I love that. I love that motivation. Yes. And M is what you're working with today. Okay.

M for Motivate. All right. Are you ready to go? I am. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter M, we need you to name. A flower. A magnolia.

An occupation. A... A periodic element A A country A country A A DJ

A girl's name Melanie A technology brand A type of chocolate Oh no I bummed it I'm too good at it. We got ourselves two, maybe three.

Let's go through them. An occupation mechanic is what we could have had there. Periodic element. You said moron. Do you mean moron? Yeah, dude. I mean, I'm a moron. Yes, yep, there you go.

Jess can say it. It's a nice little bow there. That was nice. Magnesium or mercury, we could have had a country, could have been Malaysia, a DJ, Martin Garrix, major laser marshmallow, and the other two you did answer. You got correct. Look, you don't get the money. You can't quit the job yet.

But you do get $100 to spend a tradie underwear. Awesome. Thank you, Jess. It looks like you're slogging it out for the rest of the year, babe. Oh, we'll see. We'll see. She's like, no, I still plan on quitting. Yeah.

I'll keep going. I'll keep going. Thank you, Jess. We do play again, of course, $8,000. Up next. Now, Daka, you're finishing up at the end of the year. Yeah. Going on to, you know, start a different chapter.

Yeah. I'm sure this is one of the things you're going to miss. Oh, man. Every Friday wake up, I go, it's threesome day. My wife goes, what? I'm like, no, no, no, just at work. With some work, friends. M for Minaj.

She still goes, what? No, it's fine. She would. It's a work threesome, honey, it's all business. It's a shy guy. He makes this. It's a whole thing. It's what's a threesome.

It's the game no one understands. All love. Jess and Duckow. One, two, three, three, three. Jess and Duckos. What's the threesome? It doesn't matter how many times we play this game. Doesn't matter how much we try and peel back the layers of Shagai.

It's getting inside his little head. It is. To work out what three things he's going to share with us have in common. It sounds easy, but geez, it can be difficult. It can be nation-specific. From types of volcano to sub-atomic particles. Who's to say where it goes? They're good ones.

We've done them before. We have done them before. That's where I pulled those examples. But none of those are in today's. Okay, good. All right, we'll start. Night, Apex Legends, call of duty. Oh, video games.

Keep going. Games you can also play on computer and PlayStation. Yeah. That's what I was looking for. What did we say, Ducker? You've got to get in his hand. Video games with guns. Well done.

Here I was thinking to be very specific. Hot in Cleveland, young and hungry, the Golden Girls. Oh, TV shows from the 90s? Shows with four main actors? Shows with girls in it? No. Shows with girls with the lead. Hot in Cleveland.

Young and Hungry. I only... Do you be honest, I only know the Golden Girls, yeah. Older ladies? Yeah, well, they all star one. Oh, Betty White. Yes. Geez, I don't know the other two shows.

Neither do I. I only know the name of Betty White and Golden Girls as the actress. Next one. So, so if I babs on mine, Jess on zero, you could get it this one, I think. Oh. Well, he could get any of them? Yeah, man. Could I?

Pressure. Thanks, guys. A lot of pressure now. I'm feeling it. Nick Jonas, Harry Stiles, Bad Bunny Singers, boy band singers. No, what's Bad Bunny? Bad Bunny is one of the biggest Latin America.

Super Bowl? Something about Super Bowl? What's Bad Bunny doing in there with Nick Jonas and Harry Stiles? Both are in boy bands, then Bad Bunny rolls in. Were they form a boy band? They've all done one thing. Oh, Gold Solo. No.

No, damn. Have they all been in Marvel movies? Have they dated someone? They've all dated someone. Oh, Taylor Swift. Who was it? No. One of the Kardashians.

Kim. You're getting very close. Kylie. Kylie. Kendall. The more dated Kendall. The last one I didn't say. God damn. Next one. Wimbledon, Australian Open. Tennis tournaments. That's the one you should have said. I'm going to go, mate.

He's gone from the niche dating Kardashians. I do, but I don't know who they all date half the time. Top hat, boot, race car. Are they all monopoly pieces? Babs got that, yeah. Sorry. It's very nice. No, I mean, I apologize for any time.

Sometimes I just want to get through this guy. Sure. Barbie World, Roman holiday, super bass. Oh, they're all Nicki Minajong. They all want to Nickymanosh songs. Slay! Okay, so if you get this, we go to a tire break up for all three. He's pointing at chess now.

No, Babs is still eating. Okay, if you get this, we go to a tire break. He's pointing at me now. Yeah, he is. Ducco gets this, we go to it. Yeah, yeah. Let's see how we get. Toto, Max, Marley.

They're all dogs in movies. Babs has it. What? Wow. That's a bad. I pointed. You pointed. The pointing in this room is getting out of control.

Jess and Ducco. Tis the season, wouldn't you say? We're here now. December 1st Monday. It's the last business day before December. Which means like really, all officers sort of shut down on the 19th, I think. Not all of them, but majority. I've already had friends have their Christmas party.

Like last week, people were having Christmas parties. People getting in urban. People are getting in early because, let's be real, your social calendar starts filling up. Where do you stand? We've got ours this afternoon. Where do you stand on the midweeker? Don't like it. A couple of businesses, a couple of offices I know do a, oh, we'll go out for dinner and drinks on a Wednesday, but not give everyone the Thursday off.

Stupid, right? Ours is obviously today the Friday. It's a nice, beautiful long lunch. And it's a lunch. Like, we are obviously privileged. We don't work, you know, the traditional nine to five. But the rest of the office does. Shagline Babs do.

Well, they do a 40 a week. Oh, a lot. Minimum 9 to 5. I would have been surprised if we look over and Babbs and Shagga have just pulled their laptops out at the lunch. I forgot to tell you, yesterday at the staff meeting. It was a rare appearance that I was there. Yeah, I wasn't even there.

How were you doing? He's like, I'm too busy for this and he brings his laptop. I brought my laptop to the stuff meeting. And so in the middle of the meeting, he just sits on the floor while they're presenting and just starts typing away. And I look on there, he's on Zeta. Like our play out system, like on the hot keys

where I play my buttons from. What? Seriously, what were you doing? Do you want to know? Yeah, here we go. Okay, I was providing. the workday jocks with grabs from the show. Oh, here we go.

As well as the teaser promo. Knowing that on the answer, you asked. I mean, I did ask. And that actually is timely. Because we might have been in the start meeting, but the other markets that were asked. They weren't. They were.

It was funny. It was quite funny seeing that. Yeah. I'll sign off on that time sheet because I appreciate that effort. Just as they were going, hey guys, just a reminder, tomorrow's the Christmas party.

We are a workplace. We have some fun, but drink in moderation, be responsible, blah, day, it wraps up shortly at four. So, you know, go hard on our dollar. But basically

after that, we wash our hands of you. Yeah, yeah. We also got the all-staff memo. We always get one of those. The memorandum, we always get one of these. And it goes through things like behaviour at the party, drug and alcohol, policy, contacts. And it's got a list of people's numbers. I do appreciate these. If you become

intoxicated or unwell, call, call the GM. But I'm like, if I'm intoxicated, Mike, out my unless I've saved your You guys, I'm sideways. I'm just going to call my boss. Hold on. Hey, mate.

What you need to have done is pulled up the email, which I know you're famous for deleting everything. I didn't even see this email. So you've got to find the email in your junk folder to then find his number, to then dial it. Good luck, Duck. Remember the time I accidentally deleted our contract that came through? I couldn't find it. Our boss pulls us into a meeting.

Hey, guys, you know, we're just waiting on Ducker to sign the contract. Oh, do they get sent? Yeah, you've been hassling us for three months to renew. I saw that. One of the great lines from you, can you get it reset? James. He's like,

his head popped off his neck. Are you joking me? Wow. I found it. I found it. It was in me deleted. Got a recover. Go into Adobe.

Sign. Anyway. But we are talking Christmas parties. Ours is today. We love the internal memorandum. We love the code of conduct. We love obviously keeping everyone safe. But what happens when things go a little awry?

Yeah, what happens when you get too loose at the Christmas party? You make it full of. yourself and you've got to either see your employees the next day or on the Monday. Yes. I also love the idea that maybe you go into the Christmas party thinking, I'm not coming back next year, so I'm going to burn this place to the... Well, we have a few of those. We have a few of those.

Yeah, I forgot we've got one in the room. Yeah, one is here with us. We've got three others. I genuinely... Here he comes, baby. I was going to roll in. Genuinely, as I was saying that sentence, I forgot that you're one of those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I won't burn the place down. I might make a speech, though. You never know. Well, we've got 15 shows left to go. Apparently there's quite the award ceremony in the works, that's right? Yeah, there's level awards. Yeah, yeah. They always do a fertility award.

And to make everyone feel better. Every single person, the office is nominated for one. Oh, that's fun. Everyone's going to be a winner. Yeah, except the people who weren't invited. Every year, I go, can you do the Serpent Award and only have Shaga as the nominee, then award him? No, we can.

It's inappropriate. No. It's inappropriate. Do you want to quickly laminate something ourselves? Yeah, I'll do that. To the Serpent man. Anyway, 13, 1060, what happened to the Christmas party? What did you do?

What'd you see? What'd you see? Like, do you have some funny stories you can tell us? What caused the following year? Yeah. Memorandums to be sent. Yeah, or was it your last Christmas party and what did you do? Any tips for ducco?

We'll get you on next. Jess and ducco. This is the season, obviously. We're all here. We're on that downhill ramp. You might be thinking about your Christmas Day line. she might be hosting what plate you're going to bring to Arnie Fiona's.

Fiona's getting a box of favourites and a high five. Well, Fiona's asked me to do the cheeseboard, Ducco. Suck-o? That's expensive. But Arnie Fee knows. She gets you. Oh, you've got a sponsor, I say. I do it well. Oh, poor you deli do it well, yeah.

Don't you worry about it, Dukkah? Don't you worry about it? But beyond Christmas Day. Yeah. It's the word Christmas parties we're talking about. It can be a dangerous place. It can be a dangerous place. Maybe your work sends around the all staff email.

Can I predict early MVP for our work Christmas party? Well, you because you're leaving and you're going to burn the place to the ground? I don't often get MVP just because I'm such a facilitator always. It's like, why give it to that guy? You know, people just expect it. But I think, I think MVP, Talk to me. Babs.

I think she's going to have herself a bit of a heater. This is the thing. Babs could go either way. Yeah. You know, the lunch starts at 12. I reckon by one, we look around. We go, Babs go there and the vibe's not right. We better get a team photo as soon as we get there

because she could go either way. Disappear or She told me today, I've had a month. I'm having a drink. Oh my God. Yeah, it's why I think she could be MVP. Are you wearing comfortable shoes, Babs? I was actually going to wear a little heel.

All right. Okay. I'm not funny. I'm trying to be an adult. That's why it's funny. Are you having your cheer pudding? Already ate it. She got her.

She's got her. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's going to don a little heel. Yes, I might wear a little heel, too. I thought you might wear your fancy clerks. Give them a polish. Oh, you know what I thought you were going to do?

Put a little, you know, little Christmas bonbon jizz bit or decoration. A little jizzy bit on your Doc Martins. Yeah. Well, that's excellent. No, they're retired for today. They're gone. Okay. I reckon you'll get MVP today, Babs.

You've got my prediction. Wow. Thank you. No worries. She's paying a buck 10. A buck 10 to win it. That means she's good odds, yeah. 30, yes.

13, 10. 13, 1060, though, we are asking. Work Christmas parties, what happened? What'd you do? What did someone do? Someone who I know would have been MVP, year in, year out. Good friend of the show, Robbie. Good morning.

Merry bloody Christmas, Robbie. Oh, happy bloody New Year. Yeah, that's it. Happy 26. Let's do it. Robbie, what happened at your Christmas party? Well, it was me. Yep.

My husband, I'll shut up. My husband and I worked at the same place. So we all, we worked at the same Christmas party. So everyone was going out afterwards and he didn't want me to go out. So we went back to another person's from work, their house. Yeah, for the after party. Yeah, the after party, yep. Started dancing.

And the next day my husband just looked at me and said, don't you dare ever do that again. To what? I don't know. And then went back to work. And one of the bloke that we went to the party and he went, Oh, God, he looked good in that G-string, Robbie. I went, I didn't have a G-string on.

He went, it was when you finished with it. Wait, what did you do? Did you strip down, Robin? Did you get naked and start dancing? Oh, no, I just think I lifted the skirt and made a G-string out of my undies. Oh, sorry, sorry, we didn't presume that. You're flashing everyone, but you're wearing a full brief. You went, well, that's no fun.

I'll give myself a wedgy. Yeah, I'll teach you not to let me go out, dear. And I feel like that's why he didn't want her to go out dancing. But she's like, nah, stop her. Look at this. Didn't remember a bar. This is the old DIY whale tail I got going on. Robbie.

M.V. Bloody P. See, that'll be babbs. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bugs on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say.

Pass, of course, we can come back to you if there is time. We are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Donna. Hello, Donna. Good morning. How you going, guys? Sexy Donna. Sexy Donna.

My favourite name. Donna, what brings you to the show for a Friday? Why do you want our 10 grand? Well, I got married when I was 18 and we're about to have our 30th wedding anniversary. Wow. Congratulations. So what are we thinking a big blowout party, a renewal of vows, Just a holiday.

I'm going holiday. Yeah, but you may as well. You need a holiday. Yeah, it can't be a holiday. Maybe you'd like to consider Jamaica, maybe Japan. Oh, yeah. Because, Donna, those countries start with Jay, and that's what you're going to be working with. Okay.

All righty, you're ready to go? I think so. Let's go, Donna. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter, Jay, we need to name something you'd find in the shed. A jackhammer An animal A jaguar

A musical A musical A pass A board game Jenga An alcoholic drink A Yagermeister A five-letter word

Jumps A car brand A Jeep A rom-com A Pass An Aussie athlete A perfume, brand.

Damn, we've got ourselves six. With a question mark over one. Board game being janga. I don't think there's a board involved. No, I think it's all blocks. I think it's a game, but not a board game. Could have had a... Jamangy.

Jamangy. Donna, you're a player, man. You're a good player, yeah. A musical could have been Jersey Boys or Jesus Christ Superstar. Draco's favourite. My absolute favourite. A roncom, just go with it. Or Juno, an Aussie athlete, Jess Fox.

Jonathan Thurston, a perfume brand could have been Jimmy Choo. Oh, damn. Donner. Sorry. Look, you don't get the money or the holiday, but you do get $100 to spend a tradey underwear. How's that sound?

Oh, sounds good. Get you and your partner some matching undies. Oh, yeah. That's how you celebrate 30 years of love. That'd be nice, hey? That's how you do it, Donna. Yeah. Thank you so much, guys.

Thank you. Have a wonderful rest of your Friday. Yeah. We do play again Monday. We play at 7 and 8th. $10,000. Up next, I'm trying to do a cleanse of some sort, Jess. You'll be proud of me. You've got it cleansed your guts. What else is there to clean? Well, once you get rid of everything, you know, you look at what the baggage is left.

But I'm sort of doing it wrong. I'm pack it off to sob off. Jess and ducco. Right now, I'm trying to, um, I'm trying to have more of a social media cleanse, like away from. So, like, still go on it and use it, but just less times in the day. What sparked this? Did you see your usage? Yeah, my usage was getting hot. high and then you notice it when you have a child how much you just randomly get on your phone and look at it, then go on it, then scroll, then look at nothing, then go off it.

Or like when I go to the toilet and you're like, just get it out. 100%. I will pick up my phone with the genuine attention of checking the time. Yep. Find myself on Instagram, put the phone down and then go, I never looked at the time. It goes into autopilot, right? So I'm trying to do less. So I've set a limit on Instagram and I went really ambitious because you know when you can set

time limits on Instagram, you can do 30 minutes. And what actually happens, does a notification come up or does it just shut you out of the app? How does it work? I've never done one. A notification comes up and says, in five minutes time, you've going to hit your usage. And then it comes up and goes, you've hit your usage for today. Do you want to either, A, cancel it for the day, be, add five or ten minutes or C, just like, don't go on it. Okay.

And what parameter did you give yourself? So I get myself 30 minutes. So you could have done 30, 40 or 45, or maybe there's an hour in there too. But I went, no, let's go 30 and just see where I sit. And cumulatively. So that could have been five minutes. scroll in the morning, 10 in the afternoon. Yep, everything.

I literally will hit the 30 before we finish our show. Wow. You know what I mean? Yeah. Should we use it so much? We do use it so much. Not only is it a source of content, it's a way we obviously communicate with our community. But also, as you said, it's autopilot.

It's autopilot. Song comes on and you go, we're not in the middle of conversation. Have a little scroll. Look at nothing else. Oh, my God. So it's now telling me, so I'm trying to get better at, but I'll just go, oh, five more minutes. I'll tell more. And then eventually when you hit five more minutes,

so many times, it just stops warning you. It's like, all right, well, your day is just done. This bloke's not listening. Because I think I was doing like an hour and a half a day, just on that app. To be honest, I don't check those things. I don't need to feel bad about myself. Yeah, but I made the mistake of telling my wife because she's like, oh, that's great. If she does, it could be five or ten minutes.

So I said, Morgan, I'm doing this right. She goes, oh, that's great. I'll help you. And I didn't really. I didn't really want her help, but she's sort of helping me, you know. I'd never help her with her diets. You better not. Yeah, yeah.

You better, bloody not. So then I, so then I'm on it. And then she realized, she goes, what's your time with that? I go, oh, I'm five minutes over. And she's like, get off it. So what I've started doing is when I know I'm, I can't go on anymore. I'm banned from it.

And it, you know, notifies me, I feel guilty. I'll just go on Morgan's phone. Yeah, but to be fair, I sometimes do that just because my phone, oh, this is the laziest thing I'm ever going to admit to. My phone's on the other side of the room, and I just feel like a scroll, so I'll pick his up. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. He's feed.

Yeah, boring, right? Nothing. Nothing. And then she goes, have you been to my phone? I'm like, what? Oh, is that? You changes her algorithm. Change her algorithm.

She's getting golf videos now. What's all these topless ladies on my own feet? Oh, yeah. She's getting heaps of those. She's getting golf videos and NFL videos. And then all her like. But all you're seeing is now maybe fashion or beauty. Cooking, fashion, baby stuff.

Yeah, yeah. And also, like, I'm like checking, like, you go into DMs and check it. And then she doesn't, I don't read them, but I just see. And then she doesn't get notified anymore. So she's missing all these messages. So. really. You're clear and all in her. I'm cleansing myself and then just going on hers. So what I'm hearing is you also need to set the timer on her to lock you out of that.

We all need half hour timers. Anyway, I'll get it. I'll mail it eventually. I don't believe in you. Now, let's take a look back at the week that was with the producer's diary. Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko? I claimed I could fill up a water bottle perfectly in the dark, which was quickly shut down by producer Babs when she revealed this hidden talent of her own. I can fit my whole fist in my mouth. Shut! Now, that's a talent. I'm not doing it right now. No, you have to.

No. Babe, sorry, if you're going to make a claim. No, because it makes you feel sick. We're going to need proof. I'm not doing it right now. Well, then you don't have the talent. I'm the winner. Well, you're as bad as him.

I can actually do it. Like, I can forfeit my fist in my mouth. I'm filming? No, because my mouth is. What would you bring this up? I'm trying to do it. I can't do it, man. Oh, hang on a minute.

I reckon I might be able to. Oh, then I've got locked. It is gag central, but sorry Babs, you cannot say something like that and not prove it. That's absolute crap. We're standing by. I can't do it today. My hand's dirty.

Your hand is dirty. Okay, we've got stuff for that. Do it. I have people that have seen me do it and can attest that I've done it. Mum ring. After refusing to show us this trick, Jess convinced Babs to do it for a cheeky $200. Just don't tell Angus. So, ask for more.

Ah! What a phrase! You better have my money. So I'm $200 richer now, and I got my nails did. Speaking of self-care, Jess got some new shoes, and they didn't go unnoticed. They look at you with your Jesus shoes on today. My goodness.

Listen to me. Hold on. I thought someone didn't like Birken stocks. Hold on. I didn't know. Jesus was here. All right. Listen.

You didn't like Birks. They're not burks Oh, they're worse They're not Look at those choked Let me Show them, shut Oh man

That's a big sandal I don't mind them They're just very on the burke I thought you didn't like that look But they're not But they're well I mean that's like I've got my stinky

It's like saying You're eating a green apple And it's not a red apple It's still an apple Oh my god I've made the wrong choice Bavs I made the wrong choice No you didn't Yeah

Oh yeah she did No I think they're great I just mean like I like sandals Oh no You're one step away from Gavisons where you can strap them around with the Velcro and just be the everything shit

Oh These are Velcro! Things got heated between me and producer Babs over our T-Fow ice cream maker that we've been giving away In our new game, Shy Guy Licks. It all started because Babs didn't follow the recipe when we tried to make the team some ice cream.

I'm on Team Shy Lord here Yeah, of course you are I'm not, hey, just you're a man It's not common that I don't make this agenda thing It's not common that I take Shy Guy's side But he told you to read the instructions You didn't, you mucked that You got proud.

You saw a TikTok. What did you see that you went, I don't need to read the instructions? My brain and some TikToks. You didn't know what I was. I wanted to be more. Like a very confident TikTok. And Jess has left Babs aside.

I'm trying to hear this. I don't want to leave my fellow lips. I just, I knew how to do it already. Yeah. But you didn't. Yes, I did. You were there, dude.

You didn't know. And I watched you mess it up. You also could have. He took a back ticket. You could have also looked up. Whoa. You've been in radio long enough. Just let her finish.

You could have also looked up the instructions, but then you wanted to make me look like a feel. Now, give me the highlighter. You have the highlighter? You were too proud and too stubborn, and I let it happen as the executive producer. Ah, good leading. You have the highlighter now, Dad?

Well, that's just bull. Ice cream, chilling, chillin, ice cream, chill. We ended up making the ice cream right eventually, but it didn't sit well in Ducko's guts. Good morning, Danny. Good morning. How are you? Fantastic, babe.

We've heard it's got a lot of colours. It's not a rainbow puddle pop. Okay? Is it a last neighbour? Sorry, Daddy. I'm just going to have to pause for one second. Because Duffer just made direct eye contact with me as he lifted an ass cheek up and audibly finding it.

And then, wait, my guts are absolutely churning. I had some ice cream this morning. And it's not, it's not, it's not serving me well. I promise, Jess, even though I'm leaving, I won't take my foot off the gas, but I will. I'm so glad we got that on air. Was that a fart? I don't know. See you next week, Rice Bookers.

Hey, Roo. Jess and Ducco. Call a fan. Call off a fake. Come a fan. When the process. I mean, every week, just gets better and better and better. It really does feel like that.

Went from bloody Ricky Martin, Kendrick Lamar, Oprah Winfrey. Let's thank our entire promo team. Thanks, Babs. Thanks, Babs. She works overtime to get us the best of the best. And my God, she's ripped something out of left field this week. You and three mates to Ed Sheareran. No double pass here, baby.

You and three mates. Three. To the iconic Ed Shearinan Frontier Turing and MG Live are proud. We bring an Ed back. Oh, yeah. Bringing the loop to her to A-Core. Stadium, Feb 13, 14 and 15. Tickets on sale now at Frontier Touring.com, of course.

But we had a lot of people to go through, Ducko. We had some of the best contributions we've had this week in a while. I feel like we're saying that a lot lately, but the rice cookers are cooking. They are cooking, and I think they want to send you off with a bag. Make sure you don't forget any of them. Someone who rose to the top this week. We asked, oh, a couple of days ago, what went overboard? One of the great questions.

One of the great questions. Yeah, one overboard. Damn. Emily gave us tears There was this one kid called Hayden and all day Hayden was a pest He's throwing his band-aids into the pool He's jumping from lane

He's diving over from lane to lane He's going under the wrong house colours Classic Hayden A serious head You're not the red house, you're in the blue house Hayden I snapped and I went Hayden you are absolutely killing me today

Anyway time marches on And I'm timing the relay Hayden comes up behind me and throws me in the water all the timekeeper gear in front of all the parents and all the students. Emily, Hayden, a kid, a student pushed the teacher into the pool. Yes. What a rapad. One of the grades. Unbelievable. I was thinking it was some high school park.

Yeah. Emily told us he was in year three at the time. And then Emily's given us one of the great grabs now. Hayden, you are absolutely killing me today. Emily, you're off to Ed Shearant. Wow. Miss Emily. Hayden pushing you in the...

Did you say it was like 20 years ago? It was a while ago. Oh, it was about 12 years ago? He's 20 now, did it you say? He would be about 20. I'll find him and he can come to Ed Sheareran. He doesn't deserve it, Emily. He does not deserve it.

Hey, Hayden has won you those Ed Shearing tickets for you and three mates. Oh, what a good one. Yes. So good. You enjoy the gig. Eddie's one of the most unbelievable performers live. So congratulations. Thanks for joining the show.

Oh, thanks so much, guys. You're very welcome. Thanks, Sam. Hey, some great contributions this week. As always, we appreciate you. Thanks for getting involved. Next week, Ducco. What are we got?

We're not doing a call of fame, but we've got multiple double passes. To Lady Gaga, baby. The Gagetron? bringing her tour down under as well. Mother monster, is that what it's called? Actually, it's soon. Oh my God, I'm going to go to Gaga. Yeah, I remember you saying that you were going to go to that.

Yeah, yeah. When would this one be? No, but I'm doing her in Melbourne. Oh, yeah, you're here. These tickets would be for the Sydney show. Okay. If you would like to be there, you've got to get involved in the show next week because every day we've got a double pass.

Shaga, sing a bit. It's on the 12th and 13th of December. Sing it, Shagga. You're two weeks away. Sing it. Oh, oh. I saw I heard another voice. I just that good, man.

You were that good, man. You were that good. Yeah, but you're half-asset. Yeah, but I was looking up dates. It was just coming in low, you know? Yeah, but then pull them back. Yeah, don't pull back. Don't pull back.

Never pull back. Never pull back when you join the show. Yeah, yeah. Because that's how you're going to win Gaga tickets next week, playing the one second song game. So make sure you join us from 6 a.m. So exciting. Plus, we got Alphbox next week.

Your chance of $10,000. You have a great weekend. Enjoy yourselves. We have our Christmas party to get to, team. This is Ducko's last one with us. let's see if he does something to get fired. Oh, that's a good idea. No, don't.

Because otherwise this would have been our last show and I don't think we commemorated it. Oh, we didn't do enough, did we? We'll see you Monday. And it's so nice doing a big blowout on a Friday because he's a whole weekend to recover. Yeah, and then not see anyone. Then the Monday, it's like, did that happen?

Did that happen? That's fine. Anyway, enjoy yourselves, be safe. Odds on Babs being MVP. Odds on Babs. Don't worry. We'll try and take some BTS. Follow us on Jess and do it. I'll keep filming it.

Do it. We're out of here. We'll see you. that. Bye-bye. Yeah, but I haven't Cheya pudding for breakfast. Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The new macho range is here at McCaffee.